#Wolfs Headcannons

[blackwolfflame]

Family of Enchantments....McDonalds Orders

Since the main headcannons are taking a bit, heres the main casts McDonalds orders

Alex: Big Mac meal with Sprite

D.T: McCrispy meal with Diet Coke

Douglas: Spicy McCrispy meal with Coke

Donald: McDouble meal with lemonade

Dash: 10 piece McNugget meal with Dr. Pepper

Bash: 10 piece McNugget meal with sweet tea

Emily: @just-a-douglas-simp-existing ‘s order

Jamie: @jammyjams1910 ‘s order

[casually-eat-my-soul]

So we all argee that Derek listens to stiles heartbeat yes? Yes. Anyway headcannon.

At first Derek founds stiles annoying. Even in his resting state, stiles was loud. His very state of being demands attention. And Derek hates it. Until the day stiles has a panic attack in front of him. Derek is afraid, listening to stiles having a panic attack, hearing Stiles’ heart sound like a cacophony of screams. It’s wrong, it’s far too fast and far to loud. Hearing his lungs struggle to breathe. Derek has never hated a sound more in his life.

Derek can’t get the sound out of his head. It haunts him. Playing over and over like a reminder of morality. It sounds like death.

So he starts to pay extra attention to stiles and his heart beat, allowing it to wash over him. Listening to the rhythm — reminding himself that stiles is alive and okay. He can identify when stiles starts to panic and stop it before it becomes anything. He know stiles heart beat like it’s his own, so he notices when the rhythm changes. Even if it just skips a beat.

He doesn’t realize that he beginning to use it as an anchor, as stiles as an anchor, until the day they’ve been kidnapped and stiles heart starts to slow.

[itbeaheadcannon]

i've always just headcannoned that Stiles has keys, passkeys and codes to everyones stuff. you have a house key, car key, or something needing a code? Stiles has several copies on himself and hidden elsewhere.

like this dude has sticky fingers, and eyes everywhere. he's got the ability to get it into the sheriff's station, the school, hospital and vet. like if it's a mildly important place or is just slightly interesting, chances are high; he's got a key and code to get in

every time they try to change codes or keys, he has copies made a day later. no one is safe. no one.

people try to complain to the Sheriff, in the hopes he'll be able to stop him

he tells them all to suck it up.

while Stiles is the light of his life, he's also a feral gremlin,

the sheriff has been trying to keep him out of his stuff since he could walk

stiles also 100% has house and car keys to all of the pack

it drives argent insane that he can't keep him out

they've tried changing their stuff

it doesn't work

he also somehow got their passwords

(it wasn't hard, they're all stupid and have easy to guess passwords)

((besides Lydia and Danny))

[mysticallystilinski]

stiles stilinski x fem!reader (sleeping) headcanons 🫂

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- would force you to hold him so tight he physically could not breathe.

- he needs constant reassurance that you’re still awake while he rambles.

- “you’re so pretty, you know that”, he will say while staring at the wall.

- “stiles, you know you could always turn around to face me.. right?”, you mutter. he would chuckle and then pretend to snore.

- his hand would brace into yours slyly and squeeze it right before you head to bed.

- stiles would not be able to shut up about how good you smell even if he’s away from you.

- if you even dare to move away slightly, he will cling onto you.

- will sing.. in an annoying tone until you move closer to him.

- he is the quickest person you’ve ever met to fall asleep.. 2 minutes is all it takes with your hands around his waist.

- “baby i’m yoursssss”, he will hum over.. and over again.

- “go to bed stiles.. it’s 3 in the morning”, you groan. he sighs then turns to face towards you.

- he would slowly lift his hand up to your chin, and press his lips to yours.

- he would genuinely be so smiley because of you.

- like he could not stop smiling even if he wanted to.

- he would definitely want you to wear his jersey to bed.

- despite his hair being barley there (szn 1 buzz cut stiles) , he still loves when you play with it.

- his mumbles into your neck when he’s super tired would be constant.

- going back to (szn 3 stiles) , his night terrors would sometimes keep you up at night, but you would calm him down.

- always concerned for you over > himself.

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[an-established-butt-dent]

Solas spends his days in the rotunda, meanwhile...

Lavellan is lost in thought.

"Darling, if you are not carefull one of these days a book will drop down and crack an egg."

"Hm? What did you say Dorian?"

[opultea]

I was thinking about the Epic swap au (ie Warrior Penelope) and considering how ‘Little Wolf’ would change. Cause like the women fighting for Odysseus’ hand probably aren’t gonna deck a teenager in the face for talking back (not yet anyway, maybe let them simmer in desperation a bit more)

So maybe the song would be less of a physical fight and more of a verbal battle. Like Calypso and the other suitors giggling smugly about Telemachus just being a little kid and not knowing anything about women or something. Barely hiding their sneers as they talk down to him in sickly sweet voices and basically try manipulate him into letting them see Ody. Then Ares shows up like “let’s show these bitches what’s up” and gives Tele the strength and courage to stand against their belittling.

But of course even though Telemachus holds his own for a while, Ares’ power gets too much and the condescension hits right in his insecurities and he ends up skulking away in embarrassment.

(Also even though Ares replaces Athena’s role in this au I feel like this scene specifically would still work so well with Athena giving Telemachus the logic and reasoning to rebut their insults)

[uofcosmos]

liam dunbar bf hcs

sfw

- always gets up freakishly early for lacrosse practice

- tries not to wake you up but he makes so much noise in the morning you get up anyways

- mostly the little spoon but when he is the big spoon he wraps himself around you like he's your backpack

- always has his head on your shoulder either from behind you in a backhug or leaning his head onto you when you're sitting together

- never does PDA in front of stlies though

- chronic whiner, always complaining and whining about something

- you try to record him when he's in one of those moods and as soon as he sees it he starts acting macho

- its lowkey an ick

- he's such a brat and doesn't listen to anyone but as soon as you say something he turns super agreeable- it makes mason super upset

- chronic pinkie-linker

- gaming nights with him turned sleepovers because he literally doesn't let you go after

- you guys would get super serious about iphone games and always try to beat each others high scores

- you know how guys lose on purpose ?? he's not doing that shit

- you always keep up with him though, but he refuses to give you credit

- your first genuine fight would be about a game because he refuses to back down

- would really be into doing "secret projects" for you like knitting you something, or baking you something, and makes sure that you know "how hard and difficult it was :(( "

- he's lowkey really bad at all of it though

- you know the whole "this one's for you babe" thing, he'd do that but he'd whisper it to himself before taking a shot "this one's for y/n"

- whenever something happens, he always asks scott to look out for you and makes sure you're okay- you guys love taking walks in parks and walking through cute trails in beacon hills

- you'd have lots of spots in the beacon hills forest

- scott and stiles love having you around because it tames liam so much more

- he doesn't let theo talk to you

- after theo finally gets to talk to you he looks and liam and gives him a little smirk "liam you were keeping this from me ??"

- he loves braiding your hair and figuring out cute little hairstyles for you

- he would keep a hairtie on his wrist all the time in case you need it

- he would love when you play with his hair and scratch his head

nsfw under the cut !! mdni

- he would be a top and leans more submissive

- sometimes he's tired from lacrosse and just loves fucking you while you're spooning

- he'd be really really enthusiastic about getting head, you could use it as leverage for anything

- would be the type to tear up

- around full moons, he gets a lot more aggressive

- really be into biting, like you'd have to have a conversation about it after the first time

- he'd be into hickeys in places that are easy to see, so you'd have a harder time covering it up

- has sensitive ears

- gets off on you complimenting his body because he worked so hard for it

- crazy stamina

- he'd be into you edging him

- but it would take absolutely nothing for him to start begging you to let him finish

- he'd get extremely pink - pink-cheeked, pink-lipped, pink-nosed, pink-eared

- lowkey shit at aftercare in the beginning, but he'd work on it

- after you guys finish, he'd need to be attached to you for at least 3-4 hours

[digenerate-trash]

Outta town freaks just as promised!!! Yandare head cannons. (Blackwolf and great hawk be harder to write for because animals are weird and obsessive anyway)

amab. again. Easier to write for

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Eden:

Eden is definitely one of those mother fuckers whose whole thing is "If I can't have you no one can".

big possessive man with an insecurity complex the size of the moon

but since no one can get to you Eden feels pretty secure in you loving him back eventually

if you're sold to him by Bailey a couple weeks in eden tells Bailey you died. You couldn't handle the cold out in the woods.

if he captures you there's no need for him to lie to anyone. He keeps you trapped in the cabin till you love him back.

prefers to use leashes cages and locks to keep you in place. He's very realistic about you not wanting to be there at first but he thinks with training and a strict routine you'll just fall in line. No matter how defiant.

will absolutely Break your leg to keep you in the cabin.

is fine with blood. But doesn't want to cut off your leg or arms to keep you in place because he's not confident you'll stay alive. He's a butcher, not a surgeon.

really wants you to fall in line. He gets desperate the more defiant you stay as the weeks go on. Harsher punishments, more broken bones. Starvation. Anything to keep you down and weak.

if you give In to the hunter immediately he's suspicious but happy. He watches you carefully. Every movement you make is watched carefully. You can tell he's studying you.

once Eden is fully comfortable with you being in his home he really starts to get possessive. Spouses are supposed to stay home after all. Take care of things for him while he works out in the dangerous woods

you're not allowed past the clearing. Even washing clothes in the spring isn't supposed to be done when Eden isn't home.

absolutely no going to town. The town is dangerous and dirty and gross. Freaks live there. Freaks that could hurt his spouse and it's his job to keep you safe.

he brings you gifts from the woods. Sometimes they're things that remind him of you and sometimes it's barries or flowers. Something he thinks you'll like. He never offers an explanation he just thrusts it in your hands.

when wolves (or even people) get too close to the cabin it's shoot first for Eden. He'll drag the carcass on the porch if you're still defiant when this happens. He might even brag about how he's a perfect shot. So it's just best for everyone if you listen.

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Remy:

Remy honestly would rather not have feelings for you but now they can't stop it. You're their favorite little riding student after all.

Remy is pretty body-focused and that's mainly what he likes about you. He thinks your body is perfect.

very touchy, Feels you up as he rides with you on horseback. He digs his nails into your wrist when you tell him you have to leave.

he's enamored with you. The only problem is when you start to talk with Alex you get it in your head that he's the enemy.

he knows he could just convince you otherwise but it's much more fun to watch you fight with him. (He knows you're not serious you're just playing)

talking with Remy is like talking to a brick folksy wall. Witty banter. Coy remarks. He takes all your insults with a smug grin.

getting on his bad side is a hell of its own making though because no questions asked you're going to the underground farm.

You are separate from the other animals though. Too precious to Remy to be with the others. But he makes sure you understand what kind of person he can be when you refuse to behave.

you will absolutely never meet harper even if Remey has subjected you to living as livestock. Remy knows how much of a freak that dude is.

he still loves you and your body even though the changes it goes through. When you can't speak words anymore he sees it as a win. He doesn't need to have an intelligent partner. He just needs you to be here. Under his control. That way he can at least convince himself that you're happy here.

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Alex:

He is mostly just a big puppy. He wants you around always and will never take no for an answer.

the only dude who's more family-focused than Alex is probably Kylar.

determined to breed you. Dude will never quit. Wants a picture-perfect household and a barefoot spouse to boot

wants to lay in bed all day with you but since he's got work to do he's dragging you along with him.

will never leave your side. He's keeping you company always. Dude is clingy.

obsessed with making you. Bites hickies bruises. Whatever he can get away with. Even when you tell him it's too much hell always say next time he'll be more careful. But he isn't.

it only gets bad when you say you don't love him or that you can't be with him. sends him into hysterics.

he says it's fine. It's not. The first few days apart from you are fine. But eventually, he gets too worked up.

hell track you down. Whether you are in serious danger or just returned to town. He'll tell you all about how he misses you and he can't take it and how his heart breaks when you're not there.

guilt trip to the extreme until you come back home with him.

if that doesn't work hell just overpower you. Hell, justify it by telling himself it's just a temporary measure. That you really want a life with him but other people are holding you back. And once you are back at the farm Alex is happy to dote on you again. More than before. He is extra sweet as well. Your favorite meals are served up he lets you take breaks from farm work when you like. He carves you little trinkets and gifts. Anything to make you forget about a life outside of him.

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Blackwolf:

an actual dog. Separation anxiety to the max.

bites, marks, saliva, blood, piss, he marks you with everything he can. He needs you to smell like him so much that you two are inseparable

not gonna tolerate you leaving. Grabs you by the scruff and drags you back to the cave.

hunts with Blackwolf are the most annoying because he's too focused on you staying safe than hunting and the pack blames you for Meger return and distracting the best hunter. (Blackwolf prefers you stay back in the cave anyway. Safer there)

has killed other wolves for sniffing around you.

will absolutely start fights for no reason if you've been away or not giving him enough attention.

will always bring you the best parts of the carcass for you to gnaw on. (He doesn't know or care if it's bad for people)

constantly licking you everywhere he can spend hours doing it.

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Great hawk:

is so spouse-focused but doesn't know what it means in human terms.

birds get jealous and crazy so easily so probably that as well.

puffs up feathers and chest when he sees a "threat" could be anything from a small animal to an actual monster.

will bite. Doesn't mean to hurt you it's just to get your attention

wants to make you happy performs mating dances then gets frustrated when you don't seem to reciprocate.

takes his time grabbing shiny things that you'll like. Gets way more frustrated and bird-like when you refuse his gifts.

prefers to hunt at dusk and dawn so that the days are spent nesting and the nights are spent sleeping

all food he brings you is either shredded terribly or is coughed up for you.

he's a little gross but he's got the spirit.

trying to escape Great Hawk is..... difficult. You'll need some help

[pfhwrittes]

no but wait what if werewolf!reader has a major scent kink and gets annoyed with the 141 wearing deodorant? i mean think about it, chemical smells must be offensive as fuck to such a sensitive nose.

gaz is probably the worst culprit for wearing cologne which smells wonderful to a human nose but is olfactory hell for werewolf!reader. it clings in a way that natural scents just don't, astringent and cloying on every inhalation. werewolf!reader can't help the way their nose crinkles in disgust whenever gaz walks past. unfortunately it makes him spritz a little more on after showering because gaz thinks that werewolf!reader thinks he smells "bad" (aka like a human being) and werewolf!reader ends up avoiding him to minimise the migraines his cologne causes.

don't worry he catches a clue after werewolf!reader stumbles out of their room after a 3 day migraine and faceplants directly into gaz's lap begging him to never ever wear that cologne again please. gaz switches over to arm & hammer unscented deodorant after that too. it's not completely scent free but it's way less offensive than his previous combination of cologne + deodorant and gaz is rewarded by werewolf!reader spending way more time with him than before.

price reeks of tobacco. everything he touches has a faint lingering scent of stale smoke that makes werewolf!reader smother coughs even when he isn't actively puffing on one of his admittedly expensive cigars. werewolf!reader ends up standing upwind of price as much as possible but still coughs whenever price lights up.

eventually price gets so fed up of the constant coughing and badly hidden grimaces that he slaps multiple nicotine patches on his arms and chews his way through endless packets of nicotine gum just to avoid it. werewolf!reader definitely prefers the hint of peppermint on price's breath when they're close enough to get a hint.

soap refuses to wear deodorant if he can't wear his favourite brand and somehow his favourite brand goes missing within a day of purchasing it. he tries keeping a little stash in his room, locker, gym bag but they all go missing too.

he definitely sulks and grumbles about stinkin' out the place but it's worth it when werewolf!reader seems to lean in subconsciously when they're in the gym together. he could swear he saw werewolf!reader's nostrils flare and felt them shudder happily when he slung a sweaty arm over their shoulders one time.

ghost is complicated. he has the least offensive smell to werewolf!reader but that comes with it's own set of problems. ghost constantly smells of himself, the iron tang of dried blood and something like cordite. for werewolf!reader it's positively mouthwatering. the problem is that ghost goes out of his way to avoid werewolf!reader. they're too tactile, too friendly for his liking and it makes his skin crawl that they seem to sway into his space at every opportunity.

(the less said about the way his heart skips several beats in his chest when he catches werewolf!reader burying their nose in his sweat drenched t-shirt while holed up in a safe house together the better in his opinion.)

[generalkenobee]

David:

[row-theboat]

Wolfshifter!Soap who became a demolition expert because he could sniff out the bombs.

Wolfshifter!Soap who grows more body hair during winter and has to invest in high quality razors.

Wolfshifter!Soap who views the 141 as his pack and is fiercely loyal to them.

Wolfshifter!Soap who is very protective of his partner.

Wolfshifter!Soap who's wolf form is incredibly cuddly and physically affectionate.

Wolfshifter!Soap whose family is a very close-knitted pack.

Wolfshifter!Soap who doesn't like dogs because he knows they smell the wolf on him.

Wolfshifter!Soap who wears his mic like a collar as a subtle way of representing his canine.

[casually-eat-my-soul]

I don’t know why I’m equating stiles to penguins and crows but stiles gives really pretty and super shiny rocks to his favourite people.

Maybe it stemmed from collecting rocks with his mother — “See, Stiles there are stars in the sea”— because they both loved looking at stars together so now they can carry stars around with them. (Stiles buried his best rock with his mother)

Stiles only clued into his feeling about Derek after the third time he had given him a rock.

The first time had been the day after Derek had killed Peter. Stiles knew what it was like to bury a family member. It took him nearly the whole day to find the perfect rock, or else he would have given it over sooner. Stiles awkwardly dropped it in his open palm stammering out broken sentences — “I like rocks- me and my mom - when she - it’s a good rock” — Derek looked very confused and frustrated. (He was thinking about the collection of rocks he had seen on stiles bookshelf when he was a fugitive.)

Stiles tried to defend his rock choice while also trying to explain why he gave it to Derek. It made for a very uncomfortable 4 minutes. Stiles gave up and just told Derek he could keep the rock or throw it away or fucking bury it with Peter. That he wouldn’t care what Derek did with the rock (lie). And with that he stormed away.

Unbeknownst to him, Derek heard the lie and kept the rock. He wasn’t going to at first, and had tried to just drop the rock but his hand wouldn’t uncurl from around the stone. Derek had generally understood that stiles had been trying to comfort him, and this rock was his confusing way of doing that.

He only truly understood after seeing the headstones that read Claudia Stilinski when going to deliver flowers to his families grave.

It was the first piece of kindness he had received since Laura died. So he couldn’t bring himself to get rid of it.

—————

The second time stiles had brought Derek a rock was a week after holding Derek up in the swimming pool. Stiles had tried going down to the lake the day after swimming pool but couldn’t bring himself close to the edge. He had cried for hours after, scared that he’d never be able to get back in the water again. He wouldn’t be able to look for rocks and pretend his mother was still with him. Pretend that she was the one sending him the stars in the “sea”.

So after a week of going back to the lake and trying, he had succeeded in getting about knees deep. While celebrating Stiles stepped on a rock. Well two rocks. He had finished them out of the lake after he was done cursing. Loving how cool the rocks looked he went to make his way home. he had planned on giving the second less shiner rock to Scott so they could match. But he saw Derek on his way home and felt compelled to give it to him instead.

Still wet from the lake stiles walked up to Derek and asked him to hold out his palm. There was far less hesitance, glaring, and arguing than the first time stiles had demanded that.

Without even realizing it, Stiles had given Derek the rock he was going to keep. He was going to ask for it back and switch out the rocks but the look on Derek’s face stopped him. He looked more open and relaxed than stiles had even seen him, more vulnerable. There was a look of wonder in Derek eyes, as he fiddled with the stone.

Stiles no longer cared that about having the less shiny stone. In fact he was completely okay with not having it. When Derek realized stiles was staring with his mouth totally not open, he went right back to a closed expression. Words immediately begin spilling out of stiles mouth, without his permission.

—“ I couldn’t get in the water, after… - the lake, it’s … It’s a good rock, super shiny and it’s got a smooth texture. It’s kinda red like your eyes.” —

He even flipped his own hand and showed Derek his rock. “We’re matching, kinda. Well we were the only two in the water that night” He trailed off again before reiterating that Derek could just throw out the rock but Derek thanks him in the middle.

Derek walks him out of the preserve towards his car and reminded Stiles to be careful as there was still a kanima and argents on the lose.

——

The third time Stiles give Derek a rock is the night of his kidnapping. And technically Erica and Boyd’s. It was also the night he fully joined the hale pack, by protecting Boyd and Erica from hunters. The night he thought he was going to die.

Instead of leaving Erica and Boyd tied up, the hunter dragged them to the woods. They were planning on having a proper hunt. It was only by sheer luck that the three of them got away. Well that and the fact that the hunter were stupid enough to underestimate very desperate and pissed off Stiles. The fact that he had grown up in beacon hills and the hunter hadn’t was an added bonus.

During the fight stiles had tripped and and caught a stone in his hand. He was still holding it when he slammed his jeep through a wall. He only gave it to Derek after everyone else passed out for the night.

Stiles was sitting on a very uncomfortable chair in the train deport. However, that wasn’t enough to stop him from getting lost in his head. Vaguely watching as the rest of the pack slept in a pile. Stiles only came back to himself after Derek sat down beside him. The warmth of the werewolf’s arm around his shoulder allowed him to release the tension his body.

Stiles curled into Derek as sobs shook his body, not caring at pretending to be okay at the current moment. Derek only held him tighter, nearly pulling stiles into his lap.

When stiles had calmed down he grabbed one of Derek’s hand and gave him the rock. He heard a hum of confusion, one that prompted a sudden laugher.

“I thought I was going to die tonight.”

At his confession, Derek went still. Stiles stumbled through explaining what had happened that night. Derek just held him through it. He felt a little insecure when he finished. Over both the story and the ugly rock.

Derek just dropped his face into the crook of stiles neck and breathed out a thank you and that was that.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Stiles didn’t feel need to move. Moreover he didn’t want to. Which was a revelation in of itself. He would pay more attention to the maybe crush in morning, for now he was safe to sleep.

A few weeks later after everything calmed down and the pack is having a movie night, he give a rock to each member if the pack. Derek leaves the room for a second before returning. Later on that evening he goes to grab his sweater from Dereks room. He sees his three little rocks, now four. He absolutely falls in love with Derek in that moment. He didn’t know that Derek kept any of this rocks, but seeing the proof made him really happy.

Lydia makes a joke about stiles being a penguin. Stiles squawked in offense, of both himself and penguins. Claiming that giving rocks as a way of courting someone is perfectly valid. But that he wasn’t a penguin so it doesn’t count. She just gives him a knowing look.

This is what finally clues Derek in. His wolf already knew and was laughing at him.

Derek had wanted to give stiles back a rock when he confessed to him or on their first date or something romantic. Unfortunately that didn’t happen. Instead it happened after an exhausting fight with a troll. Stiles had stormed up to Derek about to lay into him for his self sacrificing tendencies. Derek thought stiles still looked like the most beautiful thing he had even seen. Even covered in gore.

So he plucked one of stiles waving hands out of the air and gave him the stone that had been in his pocket for far to long.

Like a switch of their roles, Stiles stared at the rock in quiet awe for a minute, while Derek stood insecure. Stiles let out a small giggle, quite happily whispered “he got me a rock, you got me a rock!!” And preceded to haul Derek by the shirt and kiss him.

Stiles goes around excitedly telling everyone that derek gave him a rock. He also used it in an argument with dad over their relationship.

They exchanged rocks and well as rings in their wedding. One of their wedding cake toppers were penguins.

Now that I’ve finished writing this all out I’m realizing that this could also be a creature stiles au.

[xcherryerim]

Futturman: You know where to find me

Wolf: And I know where to look…

[ghoulzencrypted]

Werefox stiles where he just turns into fox form, goes outside and yowels at peoples doord and then runs off (mainly derek, theo and jackson)

Werefox stiles who started stealing peoples shit

Werefox stiles who jumps on every bed he sees, doesn’t matter what kind

[blackholesun321]

I just want everyone to know unless explicitly stated otherwise Fox will always in my heart be a red head, in any and every fic I read of Him!!!

And in every fic I write if not stated or he isn’t mentioned, know somewhere out in the big wide Star Wars universe, probably drinking out of a permanently stained ‘worlds best dad’ mug written over in pink glitter sharpie to say commander. Fox will be living his worst life with his twizzler ass hair!

[differentsublimephantom]

Here’s a Beetlejuice Beetlejuice fanfic/chatfic and headcannons I wrote because I was bored and the ghost characters need more recognition (minor spoilers for Beetlejuice Beetlejuice)

BEETLEJUICE CHATFIC AND CHARACTER HEADCANNONS

BeetleJuice BeetleJuice character headcannons! (Also don’t mind all the super smash bros headcannons, I was watching Blake jennings “what your main in smash says about you” while I made these):

Wolf Jackson the movie star:

◦ Has MAJOR former theatre kid vibes, like he totally had a Hamilton phase and watched Cats ATLEAST once just to make fun of it, but he ended up secretly kinda liking the songs from it.

◦ Wont admit to even HAVING a favourite superhero, but it’s totally Spider Noir

◦ Says he mains someone like Snake in smash, but he actually mains Isabelle, jigglepuff, or The duck hunt dog and he somehow wins EVERY TIME HE PLAYS SMASH because he’s good at spam pressing buttons.

◦ Good at claw machines for some reason. A strange hidden talent, but he probs brags about it every chance he gets (which isn’t often but still)

◦ Everyone thinks/assumes he’s straight and probs bangin his secretary/the girl who brings him coffee (idk if she’s actually his secretary) but then he’ll casually insert “my boyfriend” or “this guy I’m seeing” into a conversation and the whole room is shocked.

◦ Knuckle cracker.

◦ When he’s sad infront of other people he hides his emotions and says he’s fine, but when he’s sad at home alone, he curls up with a bunch of blankets and binge watches all the movies he stared in when he was alive. Only his secretary(?) knows this.

◦ Drinks coffee (obviously) but also likes iced teas. Can on rare occasions be seen wandering around with an Arizona Tea can in hand.

◦ Ocean from RTC vibes. Like he doesn’t really mean to be rude, but he also has a habit of thinking he’s better than most people around him.

◦ That same way that I walk into any store and when I wanna get something I tell myself “I can make that at home.” He watches ANY action movie (especially ones with cgi or heavy effects) and says/thinks “I could’ve done that MYSELF, WITHOUT special affects.”

Bob:

◦ Chronically tired

◦ Under-appreciated-employee-core. Wherever he works in the neitherworld would not FUNCTION without him, but no one who works with him would recognize this until he put in his two weeks notice.

◦ A pushover. I hate to say it, but this man DIED (double died ig?) for a ghost who didn’t deserve that amount of loyalty and Bob probably knows it. He knew Beetlejuice wasn’t worth sacrificing that much for but he did it anyways because he is a pushover.

◦ My general headcannon for all the “tiny head” people in the Beetlejuice franchise is that they can speak telepathically to people, but most either choose not to, or don’t know that they can do it. Bob chooses not to because whenever he does (on rare occasions) it freaks out everyone who’s ever known him and he finds it hilarious.

◦ Current theatre kid. Has all of Heathers memorized. Could sing most RTC songs and says “this is all your fault Jafar” and “youre FUCKIN useless Paul” in his head or under his breath EVERY DAY.

◦ Once played Smash with Wolf Jackson and absolutely HATED the fact that Wolf won every time without really trying. But also Bob mains wii fit trainer, toon link or Kirby because I said so.

◦ Coffee drinker, but also gives off “DO NOT FILL UP A “SUPER BIG GULP” CUP WITH 5-HOUR ENERGY AND CHUG THE WHOLE THING” vibes. He is WIRED.

Harry the hunter:

◦ Bobs uncle who died at around the same age as Bob so that’s why they look the same age/look like the same person.

◦ BESTIES with Ms Argentina

◦ Likes Delores because he hates Beetlejuice and wishes she successfully killed him, but also dislikes her because she killed Bob

◦ Bob is chronically tired but gets a good nights sleep most nights. Harry is an insomniac night owl who stays up until 1:00 in the morning rewatching Over the garden wall or Wall E for the 1000th time even though he KNOWS has to get up at 5:00am that morning.

◦ Only drinks tea or water.

◦ Mostly uses ASL or writing on notepads to communicate (same with Bob)

◦ Bob is the type of employee to work more than he should and do extra stuff and overtime etc. because he thinks people will like him more or atleast he’ll get some benefit from it right? Harry is the employee who knows you should just do your job and leave because no one will care if you do more than that so don’t waste your time.

◦ Just like Bob, he is a theatre kid. And he totally got Ms Argentina into musicals too.

◦

Ms Argentina:

◦ a HARDCORE SIMP for Delores. Like “she could suck my soul out of my body and in my last moments I’d THANK HER” kinda simp (same tho)

◦ WILL THROW HER HEELS AT YOU IF YOU PISS HER OFF (Bob, Wolf Jackson, Beetlejuice, AND EVEN Delores ALL learned this the hard way.)

◦ Mains Daisy in smash because they both have Loud-Lesbian energy

◦ Her nickname is Tina and her real name is Valentina, but ONLY Harry and Delores can call her Tina or her real full first name.

◦ SOMEHOW managed to get Delores to go on a date with her, and now they’re dating. Beetlejuice still has no idea how Tina pulled that off.

◦ Tina gives me tea or coffee drinker vibes, but part of me thinks she sometimes puts vodka in her tea and/or coffee

◦ Because Harry got her to like musicals, she totally got her girlfriend into musicals too

I’ll probably make a chatfic based on the musical and cartoon, but this one is based on the movies

Astrid has created a groupchat

Astrid has added: Lydia Deetz, Richard Deetz, Charles Deetz, and Delia Deetz

Astrid has named the groupchat “💜the Deetz family💜”

Astrid: hi! For those who are bad with tech *cough cough, grandpa* this is a groupchat, “gc” for short. It’s like texting but with multiple people in one text conversation.

Charles Deetz: Thanks kiddo, I was confused!

Richard Deetz: hey! This seems fun!

Lydia Deetz: OMG RICHARD?!

Richard Deetz: Hello Lyds!

Delia Deetz: omg Richard! Hi!

Charles Deetz: hello!

Richard Deetz: hi everyone!

~in a different groupchat~

“Work only” groupchat

Richard: my daughter just added me to a family groupchat 🥰

Bob: nice.

Argentina: omg fun!! My family is still alive.

Bob: So is his, Argentina?

Argentina: oh. OH. How the hell does that work?

Richard: I’ve learned not to question things like that a looooooooooooooooooooong time ago.

Argentina: that’s fair.

Wolf: my family has been hiding from me 😅

Harry: why?

Wolf: because ~~🏳️‍🌈~~

Harry: ah. SERIOUSLY?

Wolf: yeah. They only found out last thanksgiving tho. I was at my Mothers house (she is dead, to clarify) and I mentioned I was seeing a guy, and they DID NOT LIKE THAT LET ME TELL YA

Harry: OMFG XD RELATABLE

Harry: Bob is the only family member of mine I know who will talk to me

Bob: to be fair, only about half of our family is actually DEAD?

Harry: yeah. But if Astrid can add her dad to a family gc then don’t you think they might just not be *trying*?

Bob: that’s fair.

Richard: ANYWAYS, I was thinking maybe I should make a gc with you guys AND my family in it so you guys can be introduced to each other!

Argentina: sure!

Wolf: okay.

Bob: 👍

Harry: 👍

Richard: yay! Okay brb

Richard Deetz has made a groupchat

Richard Deetz had added: Astrid Deetz, Lydia Deetz, Charles Deetz, Delia Deetz, Ms Argentina, Wolf Jackson, Bob, and Harry

Richard Deetz has named the groupchat “friends and family”

Harry: I love how apparently me and Bob are just “Harry” and “Bob” and everyone else has some form of last name XD

Bob: omg yeah, I didn’t even notice that! Rude.

Richard: well to be fair, you never told me your last name(s?)

Harry: and I still won’t. It’s still funny tho

Richard: 🙄 alr

Astrid: Dad?! Who are these people?

Richard: my coworkers! Thought I’d introduce you guys

Harry: just “coworkers”? Ouch Rich

Richard: oh hush 😑

Harry: 🤭 k

Astrid: cooooool. Hey.

Bob: hey.

Astrid: OMG @Delia @Lydia @Charles, I forgot to mention I auditioned for my school musical lmao

Lydia: WHAT! And you didn’t tell me? Thats awesome!

Delia: Omg wow!!! You’ll be amazing!

Charles: nice kiddo!

Harry: OMG WHAT MUSICAL IS IT?

Astrid: HAHAHAHA I was NOT expecting that reaction from @Harry

Argentina: he looks very intimidating irl but he’s the biggest FREAKIN NERD YOULL EVER MEET I PROMISE-

Harry: RUDE! But Fr- what musical?

Astrid: Heathers.

Harry: AT A HIGHSCHOOL? Damn

Astrid: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT! But I auditioned anyways for fun.

Harry: so did the cast list come out yet?

Astrid: yeah! I’m gonna be Veronica!!!!!!!

Harry: OMG AWESOME!! I would love to play JD, but I died before even the MOVIE was made, so I’ll never get the chance sadly.

Astrid: DAMN, that’s tough.

Argentina: WOMP WOMP

Astrid: HHAHAHAHAHAHHA WOMP WOMP

Harry: >:O

Lydia: You got a part!!! That’s amazing! When’s opening night???

Richard: yeah! You might not see me in the audience, but I’ll be there!!!

Astrid: it’s in October but rehearsal hasn’t even started yet, I’ll let you know when I know!

Delia: let me know too!

Harry: no offence Delia, but have you SEEN Heathers?? I feel like if ghosts can be unconscious, it would send you into a COMA. With Dead Girl Walking ALONE

Astrid: DEAD GIRL WALKING? She’d be out before Big Fun ends XD

Harry: fair point!

Charles: I know that what you two are typing is technically words, but I understand NONE OF THEM

Harry: that’s also fair XD Poor Charles

Wolf Jackson: I know what the words mean! And your right, Delia would be sent into a coma by that show. Movie OR musical

Argentina: one word: Blue.

Wolf: OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT THAT SONG

Harry: “FORGOT”? I PURPOSEFULLY BLOCK THAT SONG OUT OF MY MEMORY MAN

Richard: oh god what have I started with creating this gc

Lydia: clearly this is a Pandora’s box of chaos you’ve created and opened, Rich

Richard: yeah…….whoops…

~hours later~

Astrid: weird question but raise a digital hand if your 🏳️‍🌈 (no pressure to answer I just want info for a project)

Harry: me!!

Bob: does bi count?

Astrid: yes it does

Bob: cool

Wolf: *slowly raises hand*

Astrid: FR? No offence but I would NOT have guessed that

Wolf: no one ever does 🤫

Argentina: OO OO OO ME!!!

Argentina: wait- can I add my girlfriend to the gc?

Astrid: YESS DO IT

Argentina: okay!!!

Argentina added Delores to the groupchat

Wolf: WAIT YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS DELORES??? THE SOULSUCKER?!

Argentina: yeahhhh 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Delores: hello…? What’s this?

Astrid: a groupchat!

Delores: I’m not sure what that is, but alright?

Bob: ………. Argentina why would you do this to me.

Argentina: OMFG I FORGOT BOB IM SO SORRY

Astrid: wait what? What happened? And what’s a “soulsucker”?

Delores: basically a ghost that can kill other ghosts. And that’s what I am

Astrid: but wouldn’t that not work because they’re already DEAD?

Delores: nope.

Bob: Astrid, you learn not to question stuff like this after a while of being dead or knowing someone in the neitherworld. Nothing makes sense here. (Also Delores almost killed me)

Argentina: yet another reason to NOT KILL YOURSELF 😃

Astrid: noted! Wasn’t planning on it, but good motivation! 😃😃

Wolf: god you people are insane.

Delia: agreed.

Lydia: you both say “you people” like you aren’t a part of this family/friend group. Bad news: YOU ARE PART OF THE “YOU PEOPLE”

Delores: I think I’ll like you people a lot.

Lydia: you tried to kill 🪲🧃 so I definitely like you girl.

Delores: 🥰omg you you want his moldy ass double dead too?!

Lydia: he tried to marry me AT 16 YEARS OLD so yeah definitely

Delores: I’m from an era where thats pretty normal, but I’m gonna assume that’s not normal and bad in the future??

Lydia: yeah it’s bad and gross. Also the year is currently 2024 btw

Delores: thank you! Damn I was in those boxes for a long time wasn’t I?

Argentina: yes you were

Wolf: and you were TECHNICALLY supposed to STAY THERE

Delores: my girlfriend has advised me to reply to that with “womp womp”? I’m not sure what that mean but I hope it has its intended affect.

Bob: WOLF JUST KICKED HIS TRASHCAN SO HARD IT MADE A DENT IN THE WALL HOLY SHIT

Bob: update: I have just read the previous texts. Yes Delores it DID have its intended affect! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Delores: oh good!!! 😀

Wolf: NO! NOT GOOD. I don’t like you! Mean lesbian!!!!

Astrid: “MEAN LESBIAN” OMG 😆

Richard: what is HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?

Richard: omg I jus read the last few texts, that is pretty funny Wolf

Lydia: 😮 🤭 yeah I’m with Rich on this one, that’s pretty funny honestly

Wolf: I hate you all /ns