#With some proper therapy that is
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Thinking about Cletus having some kind of survivor's guilt after the whole trilogy
#talkin#Because like. It seems like he knows him Argus and Rufus are all the same clones of the alpha generation#I'll assume as much for this at least#So imagine you have two people left in your generator. Two “brothers” so to speak and they both die#One sacrifices himself for Cletus to survive and the other gets torn to shreds by the propeller they were all stuck in#He's Watching all of it too#Sure he has the future of deponia and elysium resting on his shoulders now#But ALSO the two other people who were WAY MORE QUALIFIED to save said future are dead now. All so he could live#Do you think he lies awake at night thinking about it. I do#And also also also i bet Goal feels a lot of guilt for her part in all of this. She's caused plenty of trouble too after all#Imagining that the shared survivor's guilt allows Goal and Cletus to properly bond#And for that to end up being the thing that lets their marriage finally work#With some proper therapy that is#Deponia#Can anyone hear me is anyone there
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so we all know how Bury The Light as a theme song represents Vergil and subsequently his story and themes within DMC 5??
Well obviously that means Subhuman is the same for Dante. So i did some thinking (wow big surprise there shocking i know)
The TLDR of this is my conclusion that Dante is reckless and overconfident because of his half-devil nature and as a result disregards his life and safety. Also, that Dante has mixed feelings about his demon side.
Specifically what got me to this thought was the line we all know if you've listened to subhuman:
"You cannot kill me, i am subhuman."
And,
I mean come on, the message couldn't have been written any clearer here. Because he's part demon, because he's - as Dante puts it, assumably the writing of this song is from his POV much like i assume Bury the Light is from Vergil's POV - sub-human, he believes he cant die. That whatever is thrown at him, no matter what or how dangerous the situation is, he naively believes he will come out the other end unscathed.
And to be honest, he kinda has reason to believe that thus far. If being stabbed at least 5 times throughout your life and brushing each one off as if it were a mere scratch wasn't enough to convince him, defeating so many different great demonic beasts including Mundus himself definitely would. I mean, who wouldnt? Whatever hell throws at Dante, surely cant be any worse than the actual fucking demon king or his own brother post-DMC 5. In a sense, he believes he is immortal.
But that way of thinking is shallow, its naive and leaves him open to danger because it makes him cocky. He thinks he's untouchable, and that way of thinking could get him seriously hurt or worse if he isnt careful. (As we see in the beginning of DMC 5 actually. He thinks "eh, ive fought worse, how bad could this actually be?" That "Its only Vergil, and ive fought him before." Only to have his shit kicked in and end up in a coma for a month. Imagine if that happened with a different demon that wasn't so merciful as to keep him alive for all that time, who would've jumped at the opportunity to rip him to shreds in an instant.)
I also want to go into how the song reflects Dante's (poor) mental health and his thoughts on being a half-demon.
Its kinda hard to catch unless you really think about it but the song is clearly negative in tone when it comes to describing Dante's own devil form. "As i call upon the dark gift to erupt" is one line that sticks out to me and i think is the best example of this. I also believe from the song that Dante views his DT as a seperate entity from himself; "I feel the devil in me, we're coming right for you".
"Funny how the mind tries to sink me deeper, as the evil tries to turn me around." The evil could be in reference to other demons, yes, but it also could be referencing his own "demon"; "i must not forget that i have bled, from no respect to the demons in my head". Wether that line means he's gotten himself hurt because of his own recklessness or self-harm i cant tell, and i wont assume one or the other specifically.
Throughout the song too, the lines "i cannot erupt, i must control, i cannot erupt, i must explode" to me also seems like Dante struggles with control of his DT, and is scared of losing himself when triggered. The whole tone of the song seems like a rampage of sorts too, its very aggresive and almost violent. "Something save me, put me out of my destiny, and drop me safely in this hell"; yet at the same time as his fears toward his own DT, it feels natural to him, this kind of "bloodlust" he feels in his triggered form is something he doesnt want but he knows he cant keep from happening entirely, so as a result the most comfortable place for him is in danger. He can let loose and he doesnt have to worry when all he's killing is demons. One last thing, "i see right past me, the eyes are flashing" to me sounds like Dante becomes almost dissociated when triggered, he's not really present in his mind and body and is acting on pure instinct alone.
All in all, Subhuman (like i said earlier) at first just sounded like an epic battle theme for Dante, but when i really listen to it, it becomes much sadder. Of course all of this could just be me bullshitting so id love to hear other's takes on this.
i also wanna analyze Bury the Light too. So i might do that later.
#overall someone please get Dante some proper therapy#and a big long hug because he needs one#Dante's depression is another thing i want to explore because i feel like its well written#I mean the signs are there and its obvious once you know what to look for#but at the same time he just hides it so well#that it takes a minute to realize his carefree attitude and chill guy persona really is just a persona#its all just a front to disguise and push away his deepest issues in an effort to not burden others and maybe forget it entirely#devil may cry#dmc#dante devil may cry#dmc dante
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Please More bean eclipse au but… it’s sun babying Eclipse! Because he gets over his trauma via babying Eclipse right?
Also the baby carrier is funny 😄
Absolutely love that Sun gets over his trauma by babying the younger brother. In a sense its what they both need. To you and the anon who wanted something nice for Sun and Bean Eclipse interacting. Eclipse is far more comfortable being carried or held by Sun vs Moon actually. (altho like... in terms of who he'd rather be held by. Its KC, then Earth then Sun (Lunar is a contender only Sometimes). Never Monty. Moon is never perferred on this list but always over Monty.) Also just kinda... BY HEIGHT PREFERENCE LOL
Also Bonus!
Bloodmoon's arrival means i finally get to explore Bloodmoon and Sun bonding (This man jsut has trauma between these two where we settle it by Family Time because its obvious its needed and Sun admits this.) Also Bloodmoon being a bully and trying to steal attention and mess with Eclipse.
#Anyway i keep having to remind yall they just tiny. they still how they are just Beaned#Eclipse finally getting issues dealt with to a degree and bloodmoon im gonna hold at gunpoint#u are getting some therapy and proper kc interaction AND SUN THEY DROPPED ONCE AND NEVER WENT BACK ON#'lets make these guys have like that SLIVER of possible redemption and sun doing something about it and never do it'#bloodmoon torments sun sometimes but once bloodmoon discovers eclipse gets annoyed how quickly most took to bloodmoon on his 'ressurrection#(which i HAVE to think about btw. we could go OG bloodmoon route. OR or. ruin is around and made bean bloodmoon to infiltrate)#(however uh. it doesnt work via bloodmoon just straight up forgetting hes suppose to cause problem not be adopted)#but we'll get there when we get there#bean eclipse au#myart
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Anyone else out there who's a Jackson neutralist? Because yes he's done bad things, yes sometimes he reacted way too strongly- like beating up exer and david-, yes he treats his tiò and tià like shit occasionally. But my man has gone through so much. He lost his mother at an early stage in his life, went back to his hometown hoping to have a better time there than before and had a worse time, got bullied, found out that one of his "friends" was controlling him with magic, and has a LOT of trauma.
So yes he's done terrible things. He isn't the greatest person ever. But his morals have gotten so mixed up and he's been through so much and he barely knows how the proper way to react to things because of how messed up his morals have got. Hes trying to figure out himself and the diary and wtf is going on with exer
#My man needs therapy... Again#and space and time to think and to get help#yall gotta give him a break#and this isn't an exer hate post#he's trying to be a better person and fix what he's done in the past#basically both of them need to have a proper talk with eachother and get some very much needed therapy#And figure out wtf is up with exers powers and the diary#jackson's diary#exer campbell#jackson smith#They need to communicate properly#webtoon#webcomic
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Is it normal for a therapist to be like "Aww but you are so young and pretty, things can't be that bad :)"
#do they just get so overwhelmed with everyone having struggles that they try to make it as if some don't as much as possible?#yes i'm known to lie at therapy but i do tell the truth at times#he asks me if i have friends and do i go out#i say “no i'm having a hard time connecting with other people”#and he is like “but it's by choice right? :)”#my sir would i have been there if things were all smiles and sunshine...#also he listened to a voice recording from a patient/acquaintance at some point and asked me my opinion#and was watching reels when i was taking a test that measured my concentration and even showed one to me while i was taking the test#despite all that i cannot say it was a bad experience though as it was really reassuring to see i was perceived as so normal by a stranger#because i always assume i must come off as a weirdo#so for me it might have been better than a proper therapy seance#but god help other patients...#“don't worry you are at very trust hands! i'm one of the best psychiatrists in the city!” he said#i should take him as a role model for confidence#but i wonder if i should go again or look for a sharper psychiatrist
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Thinking about when i studied counselling at uni and they straight up told us that cbt has negative outcomes for many people and shouldn't become a standard for care, all talking therapies seem to have the same efficacy as each other, many psychologists think therapy is ineffective altogether, serotonin and dopamine don't work like that we just act like they do because pills that prevent their reuptake help people*, all diagnoses are a socially created (and enforced) map that shifts and changes with time and culture, and any one person could have been diagnosed and treated differently by myriad different doctors based on luck and social factors
Shame its practitioners don't think so
#anti psychiatry#when it came time to pick a master's degree it turned out every single professionally recognised course was pseudoscience#so i have to choose between practising actual bullshit or not becoming a proper psychotherapist#their rationale: it doesn't make a difference what the therapy is because it doesn't matter#also good luck trying to get into the mental health sphere if you're not able to pay £££#so many people get into it as a hobby after retiring from middle class positions. which I'm sure doesn't contribute to its problems at all#like they taught us to formulate our own approaches and beliefs and then told us we're only getting a job if we take up someone else's#training is gonna suck shit yall#like. i see some efficacy and potential in it that's why i want in. but... it's like being trained super well on food hygeine and safety and#then becoming a line cook at the filthiest restaurant and learning everywhere in town is the same. yknow?#i think therapy is useful. i also think it's not for everyone. after all that's what they taught me and they used evidence to do it#anyway
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what we need mental health services to offer is an anger room. where you can go to just scream and break things. like stock it with 20 bucks worth of cheap plates and let patients smash the shit out of them. howl and pound on the walls until they're relieved/satisfied. maybe THEN when my mind is cleared of negative electricity we can discuss the sources of the suffering. like when i did equine therapy (which is the only therapy that ever helped me) they leave you all alone with the horses for an hour and then at the end you verbally process for five minutes. when you're at peace and thinking clearly. smashing objects is a great way to achieve clarity of thought. i speak from years of experience. just ask the holes in my walls.
#i'm not going back to therapy until they offer a rage room treatment option#the last time i drank liquor i scared some children by sobbing in public and went to the ER only#to walk out before the mental health team arrived i am tired of mental health teams#then there's shit like betterhelp shoving ads in your face and betterhelp might be the most evil thing to come out#of the last decade preying on desperate vulnerable people is so gross it's like when the cops cut holes in the tents of#the homeless like what is actually wrong with you people are you even human or did the modern world kill the#soul-like lifeforce deep inside you what happens in your head when you fall asleep at night i swear too many people#have been gutted of their humanity and are just zombies following orders they are so dangerous they keep us all sick#on campus someone wrote 'it's ok to be angry' on a public wall with a sharpie and i love this stranger bc#it's more than ok. it makes sense. rage is the proper response to the current reality.#rage and substance abuse
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aftermath
I did it! I managed to draw Michael angst!
This literally took me seven hours
#the backstory for this one is the thing mentioned in ch 4 blips. i might write a proper aftermath chapter at some point idk#though i'm not interested in writing the event itself play out#but in essence it's a csa situation while he's in foster care perpetrated by an older foster sibling#which is meant to be the culmination of michael having the idea that his boundaries won't be respected pushed on him again and again#and it's meant to point to the failure of literally every person who could have stood in the way of this happening#something something abuse victims becoming easier targets later#also intended to disrupt his life really intensely because like. it's never HAPPENED before#he doesn't have even maladaptive coping skills ready for this#someone get him therapy please#fnaf#michael afton#mike's actual art#cw abuse#cw csa mention#in the tags
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chlonette fic where an akuma is an akumatized egg that's responsible for taking over the whole world according to Bunnix and in order to prevent it, Ladybug must make sure whatever hatches does not fall into the wrong hands. everything is set into plan, they retrieve the egg, make sure they have everything they need for baby sitting and luckily, Ladybug is good with kids and evil eggs.
Except, Chloé isn't. And by some luck the egg likes her.
It's crack, it's chlonette begrudging co parenting, it's a surprise on whatever the heck hatches and it's good for Chloe's exploration with trauma from both parents. It also has an evil egg.
#chloe bourgeois#marinette dupain cheng#chloenette#i like making my blonde child go through different levels of panic and self reflection#let Marinette get proper sleep!#AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED DUN DUN DUUUUN#we are severely lacking chlonette parent shenanigans they would be awesome mothers#after they get therapy of course#if anything happens to my egg i will kill everyone and then myself - chloe#Marinette is the overprotective dad#make Marinette bite people#soft chlonette mutual pinning#'oh gosh why am i considering a future with her'#the angst the insecurity the fear of i shouldn't get attached because happy endings like these don't exist for people like me#i am driven by my period cramps#chlonette crack kinda#but when does chlonette not have some sort of crack#it's one thing i love about them
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Good night gamers! Apologies for not posting much today, I was busy with assignments so I couldn't do much-agksnfkdkf Im just
Also maybe I'll make a crush into an official f/o but you didn't hear that from me-
#pan rambles#I've been so busy with stuff left and right that I haven't had the proper chance to habe a full day off#Hopefully tomorrow I can relax! ...After class that is-#I can't wait to finally be able to have a day dedicated to gaming#or maybe even watching a series#During this whole time of me working on stuff I've had Ai the S.omnium F.iles: N.irvana i.nitiative cutscenes playing in the background-#And I will admit. That game does have one pretty cute guy in ut#That being said. I'm near the end of the game cutscenes and that man needs therapy sooner than he needs a relationship#So sir let's go get you some therapy first-#Also D.ate is so Big Brother coded to me#I am going to make him fill out a Big Brother Application Form I swear-
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i realised now that something i thought might be sociopathy was actually just dissociation. bc the ppl who did this in my life were not consistently unempathetic and uncaring towards others, it seemed to come and go, even if at times theyve been unempathetic and uncaring for months without a moment of caring, its that whole dissociative state thing. they do have the ability to care and feel deeply and be empathetic, in their true self, but they clock out and stop feeling and dissociate, bc theyre too scared or too overwhelmed and stressed out to handle bad feelings in a healthy way (and havent learnt coping methods to work on that). so they start acting what i felt was sociopathic with no empathy and care, due to the longterm dissociative state that is a reaction to avoiding handling bad feelings.
these specific ppl in my irl also tried to manipulate and twist situations and words to protect themselves, to paint other ppl as the bad guy even when things were 100% their own fault, just to avoid facing the feeling of having done something wrong or having held a wrong opinion, or facing guilt or shame or empathy ("i hurt someone, so now they feel hurt, and i dont want to empathise with that because it would be painful")
but they werent always like that. they are only like that when they are in a bad place aka when they are running away from reality and dissociating. when they reject facing bad feelings and thinking of others and empathy and consequences. when theyre grounded, not dissociated, theyre actually sweet and caring. so i think its rly not about the lack of empathy and consequence-thinking but the main issue just being the dissociation (and adhd fixations which also become a form of dissociation from reality - unable to think clearly or see the bigger picture, including other ppls feelings, when fixated on something and unable to snap out of it - tho this too has coping methods to learn to be able to handle it better, just like other dissociation does).
#im starting to get to the point where my understanding of this is deeper than the articles and reddit posts so im afraid that-#-ill be all on my own soon. not much else to read on it if nobody els e figured this shit out and posted about it.#im already at a place where my understanding of dissociation and adhd paralysis etc seems deeper than the reddit posts#despite only having started understanding all this a month ago and not myself being the person with the problems#ig i could try reading some proper books about it too but it feels pretty pointless since im not the one who needs help#ive just been a victim in these situations over and over#like. i love books and psych books are good. but im not getting paid to do this. do you get what i mean#it feels stupid that i should go even further than reading web articles and reddit posts when im not getting paid#and when im not the one who needs to get their shit together#if U need to get ur shit together and stop dissociating and manage ur adhd then please do read books and get therapy#i just feel like its not my job and im reaching my limit
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it is crazy how much more fragile you feel when you become immunocompromised
#marzi speaks#i’m very very careful about hand washing right now#food needs to be cooked to the proper temperatures to avoid illness#if i see a cool rock or trinket on the ground i won’t want to pick it up anymore#i’m gonna be masking basically every time i enter a building with a stranger in it#i’m gonna start carrying hand sanitizer with me Everywhere just to be safe#it’s weird bc for 90% of my life i have been very confident in my immune system#it’s a strong system. i didn’t get sick often and when i did it always got knocked out within like a week#so i felt very confident in being able to go do ‘gross’ things and be fine#now the thought of that is kinda horrifying. bc i could get sick and bleed into my lungs#or my liver. or my intestines. or my heart. or my kidneys (which is some of the harder damage to spot). or just under my skin in general#so i have to be really careful. and keep my nutrients up. and my hygiene up#and i have to really really stress that those in my life express a similar amount of care when it comes to me#it’s weird. i dunno how to feel about it yet#god therapy is gonna be so interesting when i’m ready to unpack all of this
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It's all fun and games until it isn't
#dumb doodles#master m au#1) i think it'd be neat if he tagged along with the other minions sometimes not to help but to follow around the hero(s) to make them laugh#the princess and the green guy are doing this hero thing all WRONG#they should be happy and smile because that's what heros are supposed to DO#the turtle gets it; he seems thrilled as heck during all this#plus....there's just something extra annoying about greenie not enjoying being the main hero and being so /miserable/ looking....#2) ....does. anyone else think mario might... subconsciously internalize his image as a hero?#like; don't get me wrong; he loves helping others and is by default; a happy lil guy#but...it probably is a lot of pressure to be that constant rock and source of comfort#he's probably mostly okay with it and it probably doesn't cross his mind to be resentful or bitter about always being the hero#there's just this small small; easily ignorable part of him that's tired of it#that the mister m persona brings to the forfont in a kinda ugly way if you crack that mask hard enough#in other words; if he drops the smile; then i think his more bitter thoughts and feelings he hides both as mario and master m#are a bit more...obvious if that makes sense#ANYWAYS THOSE BOYS ARE GONNA NEED SOME THERAPY AFTER THIS#3) i. honestly forgot if the mimi fight was before or after the first mr. l one lmao#i just wanted to do some silly puns before the sucker punch#anyways; it's an au; luigi probably isn't collecting hearts in the proper order chaotic lil man he is#super mario#mario#luigi
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Fandom: The Cali Crew didn't do anything except find El
The Cali Crew: *barely escaping a shoot out and burying a dead body* 😃
#Not to mention that they were 4 teenage boys in a musty hot ass van#like that's traumatic enough#AND they were dealing with a proper full on gay crisis#Someone get those boys some therapy asap#Also a shower before the apocalypse starts#Nancy is braver than me because no way would've I have hugged Jonathan that tight after that roadtrip#stranger things#cali crew#jonathan byers#mike wheeler#will byers#Argyle
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Au where Murdoc runs away as a kid and ends up at the Pots' house.
#gorillaz#murdoc gorillaz#i have no idea how this would function in canon#just think itd be neat lol. i guess it would depend on what age mudz runs away at. because i like happy endings lets say he runs away#at 8. and somehow makes it to (checks notes) wherethepotslivebourough. stus what... 2 or 3? mr and mrs. pot adopt the trash gremlin#child who appears at their doorstep.#mr. pot: well honey i think we have another kid. hes grey and very sad and angry. golly i guess lets put him in therapy#and then things... go better. yknow.#mudz and stu grow up as brothers and mudz is fiercly protective of him to the point of it getting annoying. maybe hannibal figures out#where his little brother went and finds him and gets the Stern Fatherly Concern treatment too.#im sorry for the whole-ass fic in the notes but im on a role.#97 roles around and idk the boogeyman fucking kidnaps stu or some shit and knocks his eyes about and thats where the 2d nickname comes from#idk what paula would do in this au. maybe shed be a prophet for the boogeyman or something. pfkf#so to like be proper rivals with the boogeyman mudz and 2d form a band! they kidnap russel and noodle shows up like normal and then things#play out roughly as normal except mudz isnt severely traumatized and is able to be a proper unhinged leader as he was destined to be.#... you think this is bad#i have 2 other aus in a similar vein to this lmao#which i will discuss if prompted#~ europa#cursing in tags
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If its true that 15 got therapy offscreen while living a domestic life as 14 then I think that's a cop out. Sorry
#dw spoilers#doctor who spoilers#ultimately its not a big deal since this show's plot is all over the place always anyway#but if the implication is that living a 'proper normal domestic life' is basically therapy? then im booing that#outside of how its resolved though#the potential decision here to resolve the time war ptsd arc is interesting and i feel like its a good idea#like after so long of the doctors character being so heavily informed by that trauma#changing up some of the fundamental-but-still-changeable aspects of the doctor helps keep the show interesting. keeps it evolving#in an ideal world the 'resolving time war ptsd' arc would be a whole season long and full of catharsis and angst#but if he just wants to do it offscreen so he can jump right into a new era of the show then i can see why#after writing 4 entire seasons of dr who heavily informed by the time war ptsd
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