#Wire had it coming
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Opposites of Attraction, Chapter 2

18+ MDNI | on Ao3
The other chapter
Thank you to @nocturnalrorobin and @limitlesstildil for beta-ing this work!!
Your POV
“ - and so this Squirt is comin’ on board. Any problems and I’ll dump her overboard,” Kid yelled out to the assembled crew. He’d finally released you from his arm and demagnetized your lips now that the ship was sailing on the open water.
“No you won’t,” you said with disinterest, looking around at the ship past the assembled crew. You were familiar with some of them from wanted posters - Wire, Heat, Quincy, Emma, as well as some others you thought you recognized but weren’t sure.
“Heh, don’t tell me what I will or won’t do. I’m the Captain here -”
“You gave yourself the nickname ‘Captain,’ doesn’t make you one,” you said dryly, now walking away from Kid and towards the mast for further inspection. Kid went red up to the tips of his ears.
“It’s not a nickname you fuckin’ bitch! This is my ship-”
“Then why’s it in quotes on your wanted posters and no one else's? Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid?” you smirked at him, making air quotes. You weren’t looking at him anymore though, you were more interested with the metal on the ship. You reached out to touch the steel-plated mast. Shitty quality , you thought to yourself. Now Kid’s chest was red too. You wondered if you could turn him red from the top of his ears down to his feet. Maybe he’d run out of blood before then and die - it was a theory you’d like to test.
“Besides, you can’t throw me overboard. I would fuck your shit up before you got the chance,” you said, now touching the shitty iron. Damn, what did they pry this off of? A kid's sandbox?
“Yeah, and how? I control -”
“You control magnets but I control the metal,” you said with a grin, flipping him off with one hand. Still touching the metal on the mast, you added significantly more (and better quality) steel to what was already there. You used your power and a little creativity to shape it into a giant sized hand giving Kid the middle finger.
“Good likeness,” Killer said, giving you a thumbs up.
“Thanks Killer! I’m okay with sculptures, but -”
“You like it so much, you can fuckin’ stay there!” Kid yelled, probably annoyed he was already forgotten due to your awesome statue. Without warning you were jerked backward so the entirety of your body was stuck against the mast. You hit the mast hard, the air pushed out of your lungs with the unexpected movement. Kid stormed off to another area of the ship, boots stomping all the way. You rolled your eyes and molded the steel you’d added back around the mast, giving yourself a metal chair to be magnetized to. You couldn’t leave the mast but you could make it nicer for yourself. The crew broke apart to go back to work but a few came up to you as you stayed put. You watched Quincy stand up from the crate she was sitting on and hold onto it for a few moments while bent over before she righted herself. You’d always liked the looks of her from her posters but unfortunately, she left and the Commanders came over.
“You’re Wire, right?” you asked, looking the tall man up and down as he came to introduce himself.
“You know that’s right. You heard about me, Babe?” he said, leaning over you onto his forearm and giving you a wink. Did that actually work on anyone?
“Smallest dick on the seas, that’s what they say,” you deadpanned as the Commander’s face soured. Killer and another Commander laughed heartily as Wire gave you a scowl and stomped away, much like his Captain. You weren’t sure how they’d made it this long with such fragile egos - you’d make it your personal mission to deflate them.
“I’m Heat, nice to meet you,” the blue-haired man said to you, extending his hand.
“Nice to make your acquaintance but your fuckface of a Captain magnetized my hands to the mast so I can’t shake your hand,” you said with an overly saccharine tone.
“Ah, right. Well, I’ll see you around I guess?” Heat said, a faint blush rising to his cheeks.
“I’ll be here until he gets the stick out of his ass, which seems like it may never happen. Feel free to stop by,” you replied. You hoped Kid remembered to give you water to drink otherwise you’d die on his stupid ass fish ship.
Kid’s POV
Kid was burning off steam in his workshop, welding tiny pieces of metal together to make a metal hawk. He'd felt the iron you created - it was better than almost all of the stuff on board. Creating was a great way to relieve Kid’s stress - after he’d already used the axe-throwing room and decimated the wooden target board. Kid wasn’t one to doubt his decisions but you were already a huge pain in his ass. You hadn’t been on the ship for 12 hours and he wanted to throttle you. Who the fuck did you think you were, flipping him off with his own ship? Talkin’ to him like he was some street rat in front of his crew? He didn’t like your attitude and the more he thought about your interactions, the angrier he became. He was the Captain, you worked for him, that’s all there was to it. You thought you were some tough, hot shit mercenary but Kid knew better. He’d break you and you’d regret ever fucking with him.
Killer popped his head in the workshop, the only person who could do so and keep it attached to their body.
“Dinner’s ready,” he said, hiking his thumb backward to indicate the galley. Kid put down his welding equipment, ready to destroy some food. The delicious smell wafting in from the kitchen told him it was spaghetti and meatballs, Killer’s favorite dish. A passing thought came to him as he stood up from his workbench.
“Make a plate for our guest,” he ordered, his painted mouth splitting his face wide.
A few minutes later, after Killer prepared and gave the Captain what he asked for, Kid sauntered up to the main deck. Of course, you were exactly where he’d left you, though you’d molded yourself some kind of chair to sit on. Clever. Kid felt a raindrop on his skin - looked like a cloudy night.
“Did you finally remember humans need food and water to survive?” you mouthed off to him. Even with your high and mighty attitude, you were exactly where he left you, unable to move. Really you should be thanking him for his mercy in allowing you to open your mouth and eyelids.
“Tch. You'll survive. Humans need water every what? 4 days?”
“Oh my fucking gods. No, humans die before then. Are you - who's the doctor on the ship?” You asked, trying to look around. Kid's eye twitched with your continued sass.
“You want this food or not?” Kid grunted, holding up the plate of spaghetti while ignoring your question. You narrowed your eyes at the food but your stomach gave off a loud grumble.
“I could eat,” you said offhandedly. Kid laughed.
“Then beg me for it,” Kid sneered. Your mouth set in a way that told him your answer before you said it.
“I'd rather eat shit, Eustass,” the venom in your tone was belied by the continued growling of your stomach.
“Ah well, that's too bad,” Kid said with false sincerity. He pulled the plate back and used the fork to twirl a large amount of spaghetti onto it. Your mouth dropped open as Kid shoved it all into his own. He felt a few more raindrops on his skin but paid it no mind.
“If you feel like eating, or yanno, leaving the mast again slurp , you know what to do,” Kid said with an exaggerated shrug, already turned away with the food in his hands. You didn’t say anything but he did smile as he repulsed a wave of iron coming at him back to you.
Your POV
It was a bitterly cold night at sea, something you were well used to. One of the many perks of being a Logia fruit user was that you didn’t feel differences in temperature as you could always turn into your iron form. Sure, it was less comfortable to stay as a solid piece of iron than laying in a bed but the benefit of being able to sleep literally anywhere outweighed a night spent with a fluffy pillow. You hadn’t lost a wink of sleep since the day you’d eaten your fruit.
Except when you were completely wet.
And you were right now due to the raging rainstorm outside. You weren’t able to use your powers anymore and you felt like complete shit but lucky for you whatever intrinsic nature your devil fruit had given you left you still magnetized to the mast. So you were freezing to death and couldn’t make yourself immune to the cold, but also couldn’t move from where Fuckstass had left you. Your teeth were chattering together and you had lost sensation in your toes and fingers as the rain pounded you relentlessly.
The clothes you wore weren’t waterproof or meant for the cold - you had long stopped buying clothes and made your own out of finely woven iron mesh. From afar it was indistinguishable from other textiles but had the additional benefit of providing some protection against attacks. It was not, however, meant to get wet and cold and stick to your freezing body like a second skin. You were hungry, tired, wet, losing the will to live, and freezing.
If the Captain was trying to kill you, he was doing a passable job. If the rainstorm kept up and you caught a severe enough cold, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that you could die. It figured, you led a life as an infamous mercenary and what would take you out was being left out in the rain. You closed your eyes, trying to gather up the scraps of your will that remained. You had come to terms with the fact that water took away your power and ability to swim but the loss of will to live always upset you the most. Shivering as the wind whipped your hair into your face, you tried to steel yourself for the rest of the night. Morning would eventually come and hopefully, the rain would abate soon.
Kid POV
Kid was feeling a little better now that he’d tormented you over dinner. He wasn’t planning on starving you to death, he wanted your abilities for his own gain. He had touched the kind of iron you made for yourself and it was higher quality even than the steel he used for his arm. So luckily for you, he’d give you food and water or whatever after you dropped your bratty attitude. He was absorbed in making the feathers for the hawk when he felt Killer’s gaze at his back.
“What,” Kid said, not breaking eye contact with his project.
“ ‘S raining hard out there. Coupla hours now,” Killer said, leaning against the doorframe.
“Yeah, buckets. Cold as shit too. No big storm though. Need me on deck?” Kid was unsure where Killer was going with this but Killer never interrupted without reason.
“Squirt’s still stuck to the mast,” Killer said with a shrug.
“Fuckin’ dammit, ” Kid yelled, slamming down his blow torch onto the table. He picked up what Killer was saying - you wouldn’t be able to turn into iron and avoid the cold with all the water but also couldn’t leave where he’d put you. Killer moved out of the way as Kid stomped back up to the deck, his coat billowing behind him.
Of course, you were right where he left you. You were huddled up as much as you could, shaking uncontrollably. You were wet and shivering and your skin looked blue - Kid almost felt bad for you. You deserved it for pissing him off too much but it was probably not good, he ultimately decided. Grunting, he demagnetized you and removed his red coat as he moved onto the deck. Walking into the rain made him feel shitty in seconds, you probably felt worse.
Kid stormed up to you, wrapped you in his coat and picked you up off the deck, carrying you over his shoulder. You didn’t protest or even say anything back to him, just hung off his shoulder like a sack of grain as water fell off you in rivulets. Killer was watching from the doorway as Kid brought you inside the ship.
“Needs a warm bath, she got too cold,” Killer supplied. Kid growled and gnashed his teeth but stomped his way over to his quarters. There was hot water in the shared bathroom but someone was already in there and you needed the bath now. Easier and faster to just get it done in his own room. He set you down on the floor, his coat now just as wet as you were. Another fucking annoyance he’d have to deal with later. After turning on the spigots in his bathroom, Kid faced you. You weren’t magnetized or anything but you weren’t moving either.
“Strip,” Kid commanded, already reaching to remove his coat from your body.
“Hh- nn-no?” you answered, your tone making it seem more like a question. You were really out of it, Kid thought. He didn’t bother asking again, just started ripping off your clothes. Normally clothes shredded without him even trying but these had a little more strength to them. Holding up one of your socks, he realized it was made of steel so fine it looked like gossamer.
“The fuck…is this chainmail?” Kid grumbled as he tore the steel. He set your clothes aside, he wanted to smelt them down later. Maybe you were worth the trouble, this was good shit.
“ ‘S not chainmail, just mesh,” you mumbled, kicking off your pants. Kid was secretly pleased you weren’t protesting him taking off your clothes. He wasn’t shy about being naked and preferred when others weren’t either. His crew had seen each other naked so many times it was almost surprising when all of them were clothed. Between the two of you, you were naked in a matter of seconds. Kid picked you up around the middle with his flesh hand, noting how light you were when you weren’t being a brat and turning yourself to metal. Kid did try to not stare at your naked body but it was challenging. Your tits were just the right size and he wanted to sink his teeth into your thighs. Kid dumped you into the bath and you hissed at the sensation, recoiling from the water. Kid rolled his eyes but didn’t remark on your pain.
“Get warm then come out,” Kid grunted, leaving his towel on top of the counter for you. Your teeth were still chattering and your body was wracked with chills as he turned to leave the bathroom. You started to lean over towards the side of the tub and Kid had to move quickly to right you again. Water overload maybe - you’d been in the rain and now the bath. Too much water wouldn’t kill you but it wouldn’t feel great either. Killer would be mad if Kid left you in the bath alone since it was maybe Kid’s fault you were in this position to begin with.
“Fuckin’ brat,” Kid huffed as he used his hands to pour the tepid water over your back and head. You still weren’t talking and your eyes kept sliding shut. After a few moments, your head dropped down to your chest as you nodded out.
“Alright, s’enough of that,” Kid said, picking you up. Getting you warm from the bath didn’t seem to be helping, you were ragdolling as he wrapped you in his oversized towel and carried you to the bed.
“You really couldn’t be more fuckin’ irritating,” Kid said while setting you on the bed. He dried you off roughly, ignoring the way the moving towel had your tits jiggling under his hand. Drying you off quickly, he grabbed one of his shirts off the floor. It was clean enough, it wasn’t like you had open wounds or anything and would mind the oil.
“Put this on Squirt,” Kid ordered, throwing it at you. You blinked but caught it with a hand, starting to dress yourself robotically. Kid frowned, what the fuck was wrong with you? He’d given you a bath and dried you off, weren’t you better now?
“Can make my clothes,” you muttered, lifting up your hand.
“Don’t you fuckin’ dare. Do that shit tomorrow. Put my shirt on pipsqueak,” Kid yelled at you. You looked up at him like you were surprised he was still there.
“You still cold?” Kid asked, hanging up his soaking jacket on the coat rack.
“Yeah,” you said, hugging your knees with a yawn. “When the rain goes away I’ll go back outside,” you mumbled into your legs. A soft knock at the door told Kid Killer had stopped by. Opening the door, Kid saw Killer with a steaming mug of tea and a warm plate of food left over from dinner.
“For Squirt,” Killer said pointedly. Kid rolled his eyes. He ate Mosh’s food once like a year ago and Killer never let him forget it.
“Gave ‘er a bath. She’s being weird,” Kid huffed to Killer.
“Hypothermia, dummy. ‘S makin’ me tired and groggy and can’t kick your ass right now,” Kid heard you grouse from the bed.
“Looks like she’s doing better,” Killer said, nodding along with your assessment. “She’s gonna crash soon. Needs a warm place and lotsa blankets to sleep under. Want me to take her to the ladies?” Killer offered, handing the food and mug over to Kid. When the ship was first built, the whole crew lived together in the bunks below deck but Emma and Quincy quickly demanded their own space. They said the men were gross, smelly, and snored too loud which wasn’t far from the truth. So Kid repurposed a stock room into the women’s quarters and they’d made the place much nicer than the men’s. Looking over, he saw you’d curled up in his bed and were already asleep under his heavy blanket.
“Lemme know,” Killer offered before he sauntered away like the instigator he was. Kid huffed and set the food down on his nightstand.
“Drink the tea, brat,” Kid said, shaking you with his metal arm. You groaned and rolled over, wrapping yourself up further in his blankets. You looked kind of…pathetic. Kid was sure that come the morning your sass would be back and you’d be spewing all kinds of nonsense but even he wasn’t completely heartless. Shoving you over to the side of his bed, Kid kicked off his boots and laid down next to you on the bed.
“Don’t get used to it Squirt. Tomorrow you’re back in the dog house,” Kid groused at your sleeping form. You exhaled sharply through your nose, annoyed with him even in your sleep. The feeling was mutual, Kid thought as he detached his metal arm and set it on the floor by his bed. He could sleep with it on but it wasn’t very comfortable and his stump appreciated the relief.
He yanked some covers away from you but not that much. Kid ran warm all the time and even though it was freezing outside, tonight was no exception. He leaned back against his pillows, shoving his hand behind his head. He was pondering what the fuck he was going to do with you when he felt you roll into his side.
“Oi, Squirt. What’re you up to?” Kid said quietly, not wanting to disrupt your sleep. Even though you were annoying as fuck, he didn’t like seeing you so out of it. He wanted you to be back to your bratty, sassy, irritating self so if you needed sleep, he’d let you have it.
“Warm,” was all you said as you buried your cold nose into his side and frozen feet on his legs.
“Oi! Warn me before you do that again, what’re you made of ice?”
“Not gonna happen yawn again. Just tonight. You tried to kill me s’os it’s ok,” you said into his side. You were wrapping yourself around him and it didn’t escape Kid’s notice that your unbound tits were pressed against him. He reacted as anyone else would - he got hard.
“Didn’t try to kill you,” Kid muttered.
“Did,” you replied, your arms wrapping around him. Kid was about to retort again but you sighed in contentment as you heated your body with his own. Whatever. Having a sexy (but pesky) woman cuddling up to him wasn’t the worst way he’d gone to bed, he thought as he fell asleep, willing his cock to do the same.
Taglist: @mfreedomstuff
#opposites of attraction#kid x reader#kid x you#mentioned Kid pirates#Wire had it coming#don't mess with her#x reader#op x y/n#oops!#forgot someone outside#can't be that bad#killer said it's fine#bickering as a love language#enemies to idiots to idiots to idiots to lovers
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i need like a hundred thousand word gale fic about the period between gale jumping the fence during the march to bucky showing back up on the base
#the footlocker scene especially😵💫😵💫😵💫#he had to leave his husband in captivity and couldnt do anything about it‼️#i rhink hed have some opinions about that#also in the fic thered be a scene of gale standing out behind a barbed wire fence where they can see the planes coming in to watch for john.#and then a flashback of him waiting by the fence everyday for a few week in the stalag waiting for john#amanda.doc#mota#gale
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Not to be an animation student but HOLY SHIT. THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME
#WHEN THE DOCTOR WHO IS COOL#mr ringading coming out of the screen had my family losing our minds#and the bit where he started turning 3d and you could see the wire model????!?#instantly going up there in my favourite doctor who episodes#dw spoilers#doctor who lux
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Say it like you mean it
#💟#Digital art#Full Art#Art#Edgar#Scriabin#Guess what day it is ♥ That's riiiight! It's my own personal Vargasversary here again! :D#I really got it in under the wire with this one lol but I did it! I did do it! 13 whole digital start-to-finish panels.....woaw......#Definitely the biggest of these anniversary projects thus far hehe <3 But I really wanted to see if I could do it and I did it! I'm happy :D#Inspired by many on this one ahh - the obvious being they ♥ As ever I still hold them so dearly love them so much <3#The second inspiration source is probably also obvious lol but I've been using a newer-to-me technique to sketch to try and speed up drawing#Specifically inspired from watching Zarla's Handplates speeddraw videos! I'm still a little shaky with it haha#I fell back into my old habits more than once :P But now I understand what over-rendering a sketch means lol - knowledge!#And all-told I think this is probably the longest digital comic I've made in uhhhhhh - at least years#I don't wanna say ever because it still is only 13 panels and two of those share a frame haha but like! That's still a lot for me these days#So I'm pleased for being able to make it in short order! It was fun! I had a good time with it! :D And I think it turned out nice!!#And then the last inspiration source this time around was smol hehe ♪ Despite us both being grown I still tuck her in#It's just something neither of us grew out of haha - it's nice! Another point in us being very Sans and Papyrus lol#But I wanted to give it to the Vargases this time because - eee - smol's turning the age I was when I first read Vargas this year#Obviously my family knows about Vargas as I Will Not Shut Up About It lol but I'm still the only one to have read it#Partially because of how intense and scary it can be! As much as I love it I recognize it's not for everyone - as much as I wish it was haha#But smol and I have pretty similar tastes when it comes to media - so I'm finally inviting her to read it with me ♪ Ahh ♫#Getting to share one of my very favourite stories with one of my very favourite people is exciting just to think about!!#And also getting to reread Vargas again hhhhhh I'm feeling Fine and Normal about approaching it again hahahh#Definitely haven't been thinking about and wanting to reread it A Lot Constantly lol#So drawing them again was nice <3 And the new* medium made certain details stand out all the more!#The process of discovery of art as it appears on the screen haha - Scriabin's hand reaching for Edgar only to clench upon his rejection ahh#That last one is also something of a stealth redraw of Scriabin listening to Edgar's heart in mainfic that I made - somehow four years ago??#Nearly five now....more than half of the way back from my having read it the first time ah how'd it get to be so long now...#Every year - every month - every week - every day - every hour - it is Vargas Loving Hours ♥
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Proud to say I’m at a place where I’m very ambitious w my goals, but still very content w where I currently am. No matter my financial or academic or just any personal aspirations at all, I’m so in love w my life as it is and realize that it will be no objectively better when I do attain all the tangible things I want to attain. Legitimately so happy to just be here, surrounded by love and books and privileged to be studying and gaining knowledge. At the end of the day this really is all that matters to me. And this is a feeling no amount of money can buy
#I’ve always had a very healthy balance of ambition and contentment I think#I’ve only ever been competitive when it comes to academia bc that’s just hard wired into me#I’ve never felt much about somebody else owning more material things or having more opportunities than me#i do understand why some people feel that way but I’m also happy to be working hard for what I have#while also having a very solid family unit / being privileged enough to go after hobbies / living comfortably#and most importantly — having a strong home base to go back to if things go wrong#i owe my mom SO many things ok sorry I’m done. i just love her sm and am so grateful#p
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Had my pre-op appointment today for my hysterectomy and the doctor and the surgery coordinator are both absolute sweethearts, don't get me wrong, but neither of them can give me a clear answer on how long I should be off of work for and they didn't when I left... Like, hello. I need to know this for my JOB.
#personal#Can you guys believe my uterus is coming out on TUESDAY though? THis coming Tuesday? Ahh!#Also had an EKG done for the first time this morning... Feels weird. Those stickers and wires are COLD.#I just get the same '4 to 6 weeks' from both of them. Like.... Which is it?#I have a 2 week follow up following surgery so I guess I'll ask then but damn. That's frustrating.
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Cinder (✨Ambassador Selene✨) from The Lunar Chronicles
#I have been cursed with the inability to draw a nice cinder since January 28th#5h26m trying to draw a pose and come up with whatever an ambassador might wear#had to give up and turn it into a portrait#the lunar chronicles#lunar chronicles#tlc#marissa meyer#the lunar chronicles fanart#lunar chronicles fanart#the lunar chronicles art#lunar chronicles art#Linh cinder#cinder Linh#Selene blackburn#Kaider#TLC fanart#TLC art#digital art#digital illustration#wires and nerve#stars above#please let me break the curse it’s still here#come to think of it I think I’ve been cursed with everyone#so many failed TLC drafts live in my files
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About obedience and hurt and love.
And the no text version:
#sayer#sayer podcast#my art#sayerhale#sven gorsen#jacob hale#the poem was written by me#honestly this might be my favorite sayer piece i've done#i really hope the hesitation comes across hale's face i trully tried to capture it#yes im thinking about sayer as the wire mother and about scen as laika again#this was nesrly in Polish but i realized i was gonna cry if it was and id have to translate it so it isn't#i had soooo many problems with coloring hale it was awful
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obsessed with julian asking "what did they do to you? is it some kind of punishment device?" in the wire because my god if this man didn’t go from "this is garak my super cool spy pal who i go on secret missions with and sometimes fuck teehee but also yeah his planet’s kinda fucked up and he’s got some weird ideas but we’re working on it" to "this is garak he's my precious little angel babyman who has been horribly traumatized and brainwashed by his government but it's okay because i'm a doctor and i will fuck and suck the fascism out of him if it’s the last thing i do" in just two years. shit's wild
#i'm having a moment#again#my posts#garashir#julian that entire episode is really just ''the power of love compels you!!!!!!!'' i can't stand him#garak was blorbo from julian's shows for a hot minute there and julian was writing all kinds of woobified fanfiction about him#like i've cried a hundred times over the wire from garak's pov cuz i see it as the episode where he started to respect and love him fr fr#but for julian i think it was more of an eye-opener like. he wanted to exonerate garak of all his crimes to try to justify his crush on him#and i don't think the wire exactly proved him wrong... but i do think it revealed key details and context that he was missing before#like that garak wasn't just some underling spy he was almost the head of his organization#basically garak canonballed julian's beloved headcanons so he had to start from scratch#obsessed w garak recognizing that julian had romanticized him and being like ''ok but what if i'm just a bloodthirsty killer? what then?''#like they went thru All That just for julian to meet tain and come back like#''Your Boss Dad Is Evil The Plan To Heal You With My Dick Is Back On''#gold star for trying i guess but ur gonna be loved no matter what apparently
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Au where Valentino is a lil cupid

He feels guilty when he shoots his arrows because he doesn't want to impose feelings on anyone, and he believes that arrows are too invasive. So he always ends up not shooting any arrows (his superiors are very unhappy about his performance on the job)
He has two bows because he has four arms (though he broke one by sitting on it, so he always carries just one)
He is still 10ft tall (which makes him the biggest cupid currently)
His color palette is pink and white (with a bit of gold)
It was rather difficult to redesign him a bit, because he is already heart shaped and cute. So i just made him softer and fluffier.
#VAL CUPID AU#i did this at work#val#valentino hazbin hotel#hazbin valentino#hazbin hotel Valentino#valentino#i will probably redraw it once I get home#obviously also Vox is involved#and maybe I will wire a lil introduction#and today a lot of rude people come at me#I can't wait to get homeeeeee#but also a lot of people thanked me because I was very kind and that every time they saw me I had always a smile#I try very hard to always smile and to act friendly so I was very pleased#also because my normal face is a grumpy expression and that's is a no-no when dealing with sick people#anyway i am very excited for this AU i am imagining#and a colleague told me that my doodle looked very cute#so i am double happy#if you read all this tags I hope you are having a good day!#ALSO RIP MY PENCIL IT BROKE IN HALF AND I USED SOME STICKY NOTES TO FIX IT#my art
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What is Josiah’s relationship towards his regene tattoos?
Thank you once again for asking! <333 Getting any asks about Josiah always makes my day! Took me a moment to reply because uhhh- [wilhelm scream], but I hope it also gave me the time to ponder some more on this topic.
Under cut as always, though not as long as before. Instead, got… weirder? Question mark?
(tw self-harm, and other Sidestep-typical dissociative issues)
Oh God. He hates them. Burns on his skin, bondage, fish suffocated in plastic. Of course, the most basic reason being that they make it hard to hide, the paranoia seeping in any time there was a rupture in his Sidestep suit. Wearing layers in the Los Diablos heat, too, unbearable. But most of all, the personal - the inhumanity marking him, staining him, can't wash it off, can't cut it out, just like he can't excise his own past. His own nature. The tattoos are a symbol of that, the final leash, a reminder that no matter how far he might run, how thouroughly he might try to remake himself, he will always be a sad little tool in the toolbox. Still cowering in the corner of his cell.
He just can't look at himself. Can't. He will brave it when he needs to, when he needs to sew himself up, but otherwise? Showering in the dark, though to him the tattoos might as well be bioluminescent. An anglerfish. Get close, get bit. Mirrors smashed on a bad day, then covered up in curtains or tape. Can't be bothered to replace them. Shaving in fractured reflections, a thousand funhouse faces. Can't look at his own face, no, no. Having a body at all, a body they made, they groomed, being touched, prodded, examined, evaluated, a racing horse. Gets lame, gets shot. …Proud of every single scar, though, marring their prize pet. Self-harm. Them-harm. A disconnect between the body and mind, body was theirs, I am my thought, I think therefore I am, therefore, therefore, by cutting the body, I am harming them, not myself. Blood down the drain.
The tattoos are an easy scapegoat, too. A convenient excuse. Couldn't get closer to Ortega, no, never, because you could never show skin, and this is what he would want, right? What normal people want. What People want. Not-People don't show skin and he'll either get bored with you and drop you, or get suspicious and drop you. Down, down, down the drain. A solid self-hate spiral, if you dare say so yourself.
Hates seeing his own face in the mirror. Wrong. Boney. Bones… wrong. Set and reset. Can't reset a face. Only, hah, you can. A prettier one. More familiar than this. No need to shave, no scratch, no itch, itch right under your skin that you can never reach. No, no burn; soft, pliant, yielding. Clay in your hands. More... malleable. A remaking, a rebirth. A breath. A step. Steadier legs, standing steady on the ground, no bones set and reset, too long, too tall, standing out. Being seen at last and not hating it. What a novelty. Could you ever do it? …No. Of course not. Only way for you to have is to pretend at pretending at pretending.
Replica of a replica of a replica.
You're Hollow Ground's younger sibling, he says.
Why couldn't it have been you? Why never YOU?
Show him. Show him the truth. Make him curl up in disgust the same way you do, every morning, every evening, every forsaken fucking minute of your sorry life. A burden shared is burden lessened, isn't it, Dr. Finch?
. .. …
…Being seen at last and not hating it. What a novelty indeed.
#kaist speaks#fallen hero#.....well. this kinda got into fic territory. what the hell.#uhhhhhhhhhhhhh#okay i dont know what possessed me here alright#but please can it possess me more i actually kinda like it#i genuinely did mean to make it more straightforward lol so to explain the later parts a bit#josiah is genderqueer. only. you know. he's also very dumb at stuff like this.#and he's so fucking focused on the tattoos and hates them so much#they obscure those feelings completely#he hates his body and pins it on the tattoos#can't parse out the whole host of issues underneath them#like feeling unworthy of ortega's love or being scared of intimacy#no no no it's all tattoos. if there were no tattoos i'd be alright.#he just shoves all those feelings he doesn't understand so deep inside his machine heart#like a fistful of tangled wires. so.#it really does take only one person who loves him to pull at one of them#to make him fall apart.#but there is a soar to every fall. a healing to come.#josiah doesnt learn about the regenerator at all so far and that is likely the only reason he confesses of his nature to ortega#just. too much too much too much no hope in sight. there needs to be an upheaval or he'll suffocate.#and in so many ways i believe this is what saves him. love saves him always.#if he had any hope of ever getting rid of the tattoos im not sure if he'd confess like ever.#too strong a fear of rejection. too in love with his perfect picturesque lie.#but at the end of the day a lie it is and it would eat at him from the inside in yet another way#a different story altogether
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“Rui has experience w romance uvu” with who. With Whom. Avec qui. If you think rui has ever dated anyone at all ever I think you’ve fundamentally misunderstood his character.
#I mean I’ll give a pass to middle school mizurui even if I don’t personally see it#but come on. beyond that? he had walls of barbed wire up and nobody wanted to get close anyways.#mine#rui
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oh fuck I dropped this whoops!!!
this is like... How Steven looks in my safe haven dsaf au!!
Body model: me
Edited by: me
#lloyds meowing#lloyds art#dsaf#steven stevenson#steven dsaf#dsaf steven#dsaf safe haven au#i had to hand render wires and the belt. Bc the internet IS USELESS when it comes to those images
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Maaan I love the optimistic advice "keep practicing and you'll get better at art" as much as the next artist, but it always rubs me the wrong way when that evolves into "just keep practicing and you WILL 100% succeed and CAN get into the industry."
It changes from good general advice to implying you're just doing something wrong if still haven't "made it" yet. Not in the industry? Well, you just haven't worked hard enough, obviously, as if there aren't plenty of other factors that play into "succeeding” in a highly competitive industry like art.
Don’t let advice that’s supposed to be encouraging turn into something discouraging 😭
#there’s a lot more to worming your way into the art industry than just. studying art real hard and working your bones off#hard work only gets you so far.#a lot of ‘success’ also starts at childhood and that goes for any industry#having supportive family and even better if they’re financially supportive#good early education. good physical and mental health. the ability to focus and do the same task over and over for hours#good social skills- because networking gets you a lot further than pure talent alone.#growing up in a convienaint location to even network at all. or the power to travel to such a location.#natural talent puts you ahead. brains work differently so it’s ignorant to pretend natural talent isn’t a thing#some take to a skill faster than others because their brain comes out more wired for it. so their skills develop easier and faster#music never came to me. I can’t hear the tone of my own voice most of the time. I DID study music and take mystic classes as a teen#it’s insulting to be banged over the head with ‘if you study music you’ll start to get it.’ I’m 28#I know myself and have tried during an age which music is easier to learn and yet I did not. I don’t have talent for it- my brain doesn’t-#-grasp it. the same with any art. some will struggle more to learn visual art ‘good enough’ for the industry#and implying that they just don’t get it yet becasue they haven’t tried hard enough is insulting#you can always get better. always always!! but sometimes grinding is just… grinding. fruitless and painful#I failed algebra twice as a teen. I couldn’t understand punnet squares till my 20s.#saying work harder and you’ll become a math professor would be insulting. implying I never tried to learn at all.#implying that even tho I took tutoring multiple times that maybe. if I just took one more. poor id suddenly be more able.#people work hard and it just clicks and 10 years later you’re in a great art industry job… you’re not the rule. you’re the exception#ugggh sorry :p just frustrated. sometimes people just don’t realize the kind of luck they’ve had in life and it irritates me
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THEY PUT THE WATER SONG ON SPOTIFY???
#i no longer listen to the mountain goats much but for a while i had a recreation of a playlist that was missing it#you’re the salesman i am the buyer!!! you’re the tractor i am the wire!!!#i’m the glass you’re the water that fills me i hear them coming so!!! let them kill me!!!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️
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Before my father died, he gave me approval for my choice of girlfriend. I mean, he didn't know she was my gf but he took one look at her and that was enough to get him to routinely bring her up. He only had good things to say about her. He said he really liked her. My father was never one to comment on my friends. Even ones I brought around constantly. The fact he took such a liking to my girlfriend that he brought her up completely unprompted seemed really significant at the time. I haven't thought of it since we broke up but I just remembered and oh man. I guess it was really just random.
#Sometimes I think about how my dad has and will miss so many important things in my life#He never lived to see me get my first job#I can't believe the one woman he gave his approval of is not only one I'm not ending up with#But also the only one he will literally ever get to meet#My mom and dad are literally wire mother and cloth mother#If my mother had died then we would have fallen to poverty with a quickness#But my father dying means I no longer have a parent I truly give a shit about#I really thought my dad's approval was a sign my ex and I were destined#What a fucking blow lmao#At least he knew I was gay#It's crazy to think that when I came out to him he would only be alive for three more years#Fun fact#My dad dying was the closest my ex got to coming out to her family#Cause she was scared of the idea of her parents dying without them knowing#Of course she never did come out to them#But still fun fact lmao
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