#Wingman is a little shit who likes causing trouble

[averagewriter-inthedark]

K²💍| Agent K Headcanon

There is basically NOTHING for my man 😭(I'm on a MiB fix & can't get enough of K & J) so I have begun making works for them--part 2 to my K imagine should be up by the day | Masterlist

Being married to K & an MiB Agent would look like (set during MIB 1):

Well for starters it was not K who recruited you to MiB in the first place. Having been a mechanical engineer for a number of years, your inventions caught the attention of Zed in 1978. "I gotta job for you I think you'd be an excellent candidate for. We could use your skills and ideas over at MiB, what do you say?" Well of course you accepted...you'd be stupid not too. Honestly, it didn't take much convincing once Zed revealed your boss had actually been an alien.

You'd been at MiB a couple years before finally crossing paths with K--the man in need of new equipment after most were destroyed during a job. And you'd be lying if you said he didn't make you weak in the knees that first meeting. Behind his stoic demeanor K was charming, handsome man with a kick for sarcasm. You were intimidated at first, considering K was the best agent MiB had and carried himself with an aura of authority. Plus he had some years on ya. It was compelling, and you were smitten to say the least

Little did you know, K felt the same. It'd been ages since he felt instant attraction for someone, and you were the glowing sun in solar system. Making his usual serious nature falter. Plaguing his mind and heart with butterflies. Not only could you carry a conversation but could make him genuinely laugh and take a break from the outside world. It was a nice feeling.

Of course, your relationship with K was strictly professional in the beginning. He'd come to you when his equipment needed fixing or improvements. Sometimes observing in case he'd ever have to do it himself if you weren't available. You'd give him reports each time you run a test on a new model with all the necessary information. "Supersonic? You're telling me this car will travel at supersonic speed, Y/I?" "If you press the red button. It's the way of the future, K. What happens if you need to get across the city in a short amount of time?" "It's not me I'm worried about--I can already see agents using this for reasons other than responsible ones."

It wasn't long before you two considered yourself friends. It naturally fell that way where you began having conversations not involving work. K learned where you were originally from before moving to New York, what college you went to and what made you pursue engineering. You discovered K was part of the first group to make contact with aliens in 1961, his life before MiB, and some cool cases he'd been on before you joined.

This progressed into you learning of your shared interests with each other. Music, film, books, etc. You both preferred staying in to cook rather than going out. Coffee over tea and a good ole' NYC hot dog to pizza. Before long K was brining you coffee on his way into the agency, and you were leaving snacks on his desk to make sure he ate. He'd walk you to your car if you were both working late, you'd lend him a CD of a musician you think he'd like.

Zed caught on quick and immediately played wingman. Pushing you two to reveal your feelings because the tension was suffocating whenever he'd be stuck with y'all. Whether that'd be talking in the middle of HQ or he and K were in your workshop to see what you were cooking up. Zed obviously knew the reason you two were hesitant to confess was due to the rule at MiB about agents fraternizing. But Zed didn't give a shit and knew you'd guys were the type to keep business and pleasure separate. So one day, the man bluntly shouted in the middle of your workshop, "Will you two stop running circles around each other and admit you fancy the other? I feel like I'm watching a soap opera. You won't be punished--just don't cause trouble here and you're good!"

So that's how you and K finally got together after years of pinning and constant looks when no one's watching. Lingering touches and seeking the other out. You two were free to explore the love begging to release and form a relationship outside of MiB. Still, you two remained professional at the agency and only acted on affection behind clothes doors. Although....K is the type to visit you to sneak a quick kiss before going on a job. And you still leave food on his desk, only this time they are accompanied by cute notes.

K does feel more pressure as an agent. His main priority when working was to keep you safe and not let any harm come to the agency for fear you'll be caught in the crossfire. Never do you join him on patrol if Zed gives you the day off. You don't mind though; it gives you time to catch up on sleep and surprise K with a home cooked meal when he returns.

When you two get married after a few years, just before the end of the decade, the ceremony is held at MiB with only a few collogues, including Zed & O, as your witnesses. Since both your families were unable able to attend due to them being under the impression you guys fell off the face of the Earth. Despite this, you were in bliss. K had become the most important person in your life, and you were the gravity that kept him grounded.

Your marriage to K was relatively easy, even with the constant shit you guys had to put up with. K never lied to you, always honest with what went on with his cases and you appreciated that. You had your concerns and worries, typical when the love of your life was facing intergalactic threats on the daily, but you were confident in K. He was the best MiB ever had and that showed each time he closed a case without any causalities. He'd hold you at night, letting you nuzzle into his warmth while sighing in content, "I was worried about you today, mister." "My apologies, darlin'. I would've stopped by, but Zed caught me first and by the time we finished you were already back here." He was met with a kiss, your eyes still closed as sleep began to consume you, "You're forgiven."

On the rare times you and K both have the day off, it's mostly spent in bed. The week of exhaustion catching up to you both will have you waking up at nine--which is sleeping in since the typical morning is waking up at the ass crack of dawn. It's those days where you really fall into domestic life. K cooking breakfast, you putting aside your blueprints to do some cleaning. Sitting on the balcony to enjoy your coffee while soft music played from the radio.

By 1997 when J joined the agency you were head of the engineering department and hardly ever came out of basement--which became your workshop/office as it grew beyond what you originally had. K always got first dips at any new gadget you created--as being your husband had its advantages. That's really how you met J, the duo coming to you during their issue with the bug where the rookie agent was flabbergasted seeing his mentor openly flirt with you--not expecting him to be the type at all.

"And what exactly brings you gentlemen to my quarters this fine evening?" "Oh you know, just seeing if you got any new toys you can spare--help us get the job done quicker." "Flattery will get you nowhere, Agent K. But...I guess I can make an exception for MiB's best." J's jaw went slack as K leaned down to kiss the corner of your mouth, "A token of my appreciation."

Obviously right then and there K told J who you were to him. Stunning the rookie even more as J couldn't believe his superior was married and to MiB's lead engineer, nonetheless. But J had to admit...K got game. Finding out you two were a thing only brought another category to J teasing K and getting under the older man's skin. "Say, K, think you can teach me some pointers? The gal at public relations has been giving me eyes and I think--." "You know the rules, slick, no fraternizing between agents." "No fraternizing?! You're married to Y/I! Y'all skipped fraternizing and went straight to --." "Not another word."

[webslingingslasher]

ETHAN AND PETER MADE OUT????

pls elaborate

was it a one time thing? drunk incident? late night talk incident? lets make sure we’re not gay incident?? pls we need a trouble reaction to this info!!! “ive been telling u petey, dont be afraid to be your true self! im sure aunt may will be so pleased when she hears this, shes been waiting a while!”

i think they were both drunk but had stopped drinking and were just hanging out in ethan's room so they're slowly sobering back up and it's reaching early morning and they've been having deep talks and someone had asked "would you ever hook up with a guy?"

and maybe cause ethan’s been kinda open to the fact he's just honest about it, 'im not sure, i've never even kissed a dude. have you?'

and peter hasn't, but he's also confidently straight.

'no. have you ever thought about it?'

and ethan shrugs and is like, 'kinda, i don't know if i'm into them or not. does that make me gay?'

peter doesn't think so, 'if you hook up with a guy and you don't like it then you have your answer for sure.'

'yeah, but what if i do like it?'

'then i start wingmanning you with other dudes, should be easy enough.'

and it warms ethan's heart to know peter doesn't give one shit.

'i haven't even kissed a guy, i'm not trying to jump right into banging. like, who tops? who finishes first?'

peter's got an idea. 'so, you want to know if you're even open to going something with a guy before you do something with a guy?'

ethan knows it's confusing. it is for him too.

'i guess. any suggestions?' he gave a dry laugh, like he knew peter would be just as optionless as he was.

they're best friends right? and kinda drunk so it could be excused down the road. and hey, it's not gay if you're helping out the homies, right?

peter clears his throat, "wanna kiss me?"

and holy shit does ethan leave his body. the idea that peter would even offer was mind blowing, let alone asking. it's not even like ethan's into peter, not in the slightest but that was his best fucking friend and he just offered to kiss him.

'what did you just say?'

'don't make me say it again, cause i won't.'

ethan's shaking his head like a dog, 'you want to kiss me?'

'you asked for a suggestion! i gave you one! if it sucks and you hate it, then, hey, we were some friends that got a little curious while drinking. if it does something to you then, hey, you got your answer.'

logically, peter makes a good point. something they'd never talk about again, and he was the safest person to do it with.

'what if it doesn't work cause i'm not attracted to you?'

'we're not testing if you're into me, we're testing to see if you could make out with a dude.'

ethan thinks it's a solid deal. 'fuck it, man. let's kiss.'

peter leans in slowly, ethan gradually closes the gap. peter's the one who made first contact, but it felt like ethan was kissing his grandmother, there was nothing to base off a longing peck.

so, ethan takes the initiative and opens his mouth. peter follows, it makes ethan realize peter's willing to go as far as ethan will. so, he ever so slightly suggests the idea of a makeout, dotting his tongue on peter's lower lip, and surprisingly, peter's open to it.

if ethan can separate the kiss from the person, it's pretty nice. he likes the feeling of a rough jaw, a solid chest, strong arms, the slight tickle from stubble. the whole rubbing tongues thing kinda freaked him out, but that's also because it's peter and he knows where, or who his tongue had been in.

peter's right. it helped him make up his mind, plus, he needs air.

the second ethan pulls away they both wipe the back of their hands across their mouth, speaking at the same time, 'no homo.'

'bro, kissing you feels like i'm rubbing my mouth across an eraser soaked in clorox.'

peter's glad he's figured it out, 'so we have the answer?'

ethan nods, 'i'm open to doing stuff with dudes, just not you.'

'whatever, you made out with me.'

------

and yes, i think one night, just to be a shithead, ethan tells trouble,

'did parker ever tell you about the time he kissed me?'

[kissmyaft]

Moonwake in Venice (Gekko x male reader)

Summary:

(n.) When the moon's reflection on the water seems to follow you as you walk.

With a week passing from your recent adventure another one awaits. With you being pretty new to LA anyways there's a lot for you to experience and Gekko takes it as his chance to show and take you to all sorts of places

Notes:

I made a second part to this as a birthday gift for my friend (and also because he got other people invested and I was bullied into writing another chapter) Again, I'm definitely not a perfect author, but I tried and I hope you guys enjoy it.

@darkdestroyer-256 happy birthday you simp

ao3

---------------------------------------------

"Whoa, slow down!" You yelped as you were practically dragged down a flight of stairs, almost tripping over your half-tied shoelaces. "Come on we're not in a hurry and it's so early too. I barely had time to brush my teeth and shower-!" Complaining was cut short when the sunlight hit your eyes making you slightly cringe from the sudden brightness change.

Going through your pockets to see if you have a pair of sunglasses while trying to ignore how the wind blew over your - already messy - hair, you heard the boot (trunk) of a nearby car open. You looked to see Gekko putting all sorts of things in it, well, trying to, at least. The bags and skateboard easily fit. The surfboards? not so much. You told Gekko before that you guys could rent them, but he insisted it's way better with your surfboards and that they'll fit. They didn't.

You watched as Gekko struggled with the surfboards before sighing and shaking your head with a soft smile before jogging over to go help him. They will fit fine on the roof of the car. Probably. Hopefully.

You soon find yourself in the passenger seat of the car, socks and sneakers discarded on the floor and feet resting on the dashboard waiting for Gekko while he's getting the little crew from the apartment. It's not long until you hear him opening the rear door of the car and the babbling of his pets as they get into the car. However Mosh being Mosh he quickly found his way over into the palms of your hands instead, preferring that over the crowded back. You carefully adjust him into one palm of your hand to put your seatbelt on with the other, having to fight with the seatbelt a little before you finally get it on. Removing your feet from the dashboard and letting Mosh get back comfortable you were ready for this trip.

The sunglasses on your face being snatched from you snapped you out of your thoughts. "Hey-!" You protested. Gekko laughed and slid the sunglasses on his face poking your cheek before sliding the car key into the ignition and putting on his seatbelt.

The car sprung to life, the car's blower motors kicking in to cool the interior of the car - before you turned them off because the cold air was hitting your feet - and opted for having the window down instead. While Gekko reversed out of the parking spot you grabbed his phone with one hand, Mosh comfortably in your other hand, and connected it to the car's aux, putting on the playlist you two specifically made for the trip.

Gekko gently nodded his head along with the beat of the song, eyes intently on the road ahead.

The trip there was chaotic, but when is being with Gekko not chaotic?

You had to stop multiple times because you needed to pee. At first, he'd handed you a bottle and told you to pee in the bottle. That ended with him getting a smack on his leg and you begging him to pull over and that you're 'not pissing in no damn bottle'. Road trips make anyone hungry so you two ended up in a little store at one point too. While you two were picking out snacks and water for the rest of the road, Wingman, Dizzy and Thrash got to stretch their limbs as well. Mosh was content being on your head instead, snoozing away. Gekko may or may not have sneaked a picture or two. But can you really blame him? The sight was just way too cute for him to not take a picture.

By the time you were back in the car, you were trying not to cringe at the feeling of hot leather seats against your bare thighs. You weren't even away from the car for that long, but it being summer and the sun high in the sky heating the car, it sure felt like a damn sauna. You were busy playing with the car blowers to keep you cool when Gekko returned from his own side trip to the shop toilet.

You swore it almost looked like Mosh was going to melt into a puddle right in your hands. Honestly so did everyone else in the car.

Windows down again, music playing and Wingman trying to drink water from the bottle without spilling it all over the back seat. Gekko's hand occasionally reaches over to steal your crisps, despite him having his own bag of sweets right next to him. With you having nothing better to do, you humour him by feeding him the chips so he won't constantly have to reach for them. Of course, also putting a quick video of your trip on his Instagram story is a must. Thrash definitely didn't excitedly shove his face into the phone camera that ended up making both you and Gekko laugh. At some point, you found yourself dozing off, the heat and sitting still making you sleepy. Gekko turned the music down enough for it to not disturb your little nap.

A cold, moist feeling on your face stirred you from your nap, hand coming up to rub your eye before pulling away, suddenly wide awake, "BRO- Why is my face wet?" you squawked at a giggling Gekko and an overly mischievous looking Wingman in the back. "Abd why the fuck is it sticky?? What did you put on my face".

"Well, you see, mi amor. I and Wingman were a little bored." Gekko began in a honey-sweet tone which was quick to leave you suspicious, "And we wanted to see if Kool-aid would leave your face blue when it dries-" you quickly interjected "You two put Kool-aid on my face??? How did you two even come up with something like that?" You blurted, the shock on your face enough to make Wingman snort, of course awkwardly going silent when your sharp gaze found its way over to him.

" I know right? It's so random! Come on you can't be mad, you have to admit it's funny. Even just a little!" Gekko stated. You pouted at him "It's funny when I'm not the victim- Ohhh man, come on I washed my face this morning and now it's all sticky and disgusting!" You cringed and snatched the water bottle from him to wet a towel you pulled from your bag to clean your face. It must have taken a while or maybe the time just flew and you didn't notice the car pull into a parking lot and stop until Gekko pulled your car door open.

"Oh, we arrived?" you asked and Gekko smiled while throwing your socks at you "yep! Anyways hey, how about I take you to that nearby suuuuper awesome food place to make up for the kool-aid thing, eh? sounds good, right??" This caused you to roll your eyes "weren't you supposed to take me there anyways?"

"Well yeah, but-! Uhhhh, then how about…Chick-fil-a?" He inquired giving you those puppy dog eyes, causing you to giggle "I'm kidding, you dumbass. Just get us into our hotel room so we can put our bags there and I can properly wash my face. Also, return my sunglasses and get your own."

The car beeped as it was locked. You and Gekko made your way to the front lobby to check in. Waiting while Gekko was talking to the lady was miserable, the heavy bag slung over your shoulder making it hurt. By the time you two made it to your designated room, you were more than happy to finally go wash your face and then flop on the bed, spread out like a starfish. Gekko smiled at your childish behaviour. He makes his way over to your laying form and basically lets himself fall on top of you making you wheeze. "you're heavy-!" He laughs and rolls off of you. Taking this as your getaway chance you sit up and slide yourself off the bed. Going to rummage through your bags to look for a shirt to change into, the one on you right now being all sweaty from sitting in a hot car. While at it you toss Gekko a new one too before pulling your shirt off. However, you don't notice Gekko sneaking up behind you and before you even have a chance to reach for the fresh shirt you double over in laughter, Gekkos fingers poking and tickling your sides. "S-stop! Gekko!" Your pleas for him to stop only encourage him on and soon you're crying from laughter on the ground with his fingers still running over your body begging him to stop before you end up pissing yourself. Luckily for you, he has mercy on you and stops his relentless tickle attack. More than happy it's finally over you rush to the bathroom to relieve yourself before you actually end up peeing yourself.

While you're busy in the bathroom Gekko takes the stuff out of the bags and places them in their correct places so you wouldn't have to deal with unpacking once you two come back tired afterwards.

With your things unpacked and taken care of you and Gekko take it as your cue to go outside. Gekko tells you all about Venice and gets distracted by excitedly rambling about the times he was here as a kid while dragging you all the way to Linnie Canal park where you spend some time exploring and taking pictures before he drags you to Baja Cantina, a food place. You swore this might become your new favourite place to eat. If you ever return to Venice. A lot of your time was spent at the skate and cycling trail. It was a good place to let Gekko's little crew run about too. You didn't really want to admit it at first, but you ended up loving them just as much as Gekko. He took you around introducing you to a few friends he has in Venice that lived right nearby.

The sun was setting and the sea was calm with minimum waves as you two just sat on your surfboards. Sure, you hoped to try and catch some waves, but this wasn't bad, not at all. Gekko playfully bumped his board against yours before you decided to try and push him off of his board which ended up with both of you in the water instead, laughing and splashing each other.

"Race you back to shore?"

"you're on." You challenged.

You ended up winning, but maybe it was because your lover slipped off his board at one point.

By the time he reached shore, you had already gotten to drying yourself and changing into dry clothes. As Gekko made his way to you, you threw the towel at him. He made quick work of drying himself off and getting on his dry clothes. But he opted to wrap the towel around his head since his hair was still moist, making him look like a diva which you were more than happy to poke fun at while you two put the boards in the lobby and the swimshorts in your room to dry before heading back down.

The beach too had gotten a lot quieter, many of the people returning to their homes or other nightly activities. The calming sound of waves, wind breeze and seagulls made the moment so much better and almost unreal as you two stalked along the shoreline hand in hand. The full moon shone brightly, reflection glimmering on the water, the reflection of the moon following you two. The walk on the beach was filled with quiet jokes, giggles, kisses and sweet words whispered to each other. When you two decided it was time to head back to the hotel and get comfortable for the night. You, Gekko and his crew enjoyed the cool air on the balcony. The two enjoyed a few glasses of dry apple cider and Gekkos buddies munched on their snacks. Having to retreat to your room in silent laughter when Thrash threw a water bottle against the head of the rude hotel resident on the balcony below you. Soon the curtains were closed, and teeth brushed. With you two in bed and the little guys already asleep the room was dark and fell silent.

Well, almost silent. The shuffling of sheets and quiet chuckles filled the room, soon turning into quiet sounds of pleasure, bodies rubbing together and sweet nothings whispered to each other as the night lived on.

The wind picking up and the sounds of waves crashing were promising, perhaps tomorrow will be a good surf day. But for now, maybe you can allow yourself to be a little bit louder.

[lesbiansanemi]

For the request thing (idk if if it’s just like requests or commissions so if it is commissions I’m sorry but I have no way to pay you so you can just decline if that’s what it is) I think it would be funny to see nobara being a wingman for yuuji (who’s trying to get megumi to notice his advances) and being surprisingly good at it. And when yuuji tries to return the favor and help her out with maki his plan goes completely wrong but it all works out cause him and megumi combined manage to save the day. I just love platonic nobara and yuuji, I also really love how you wrote them in your other fic about them and shibuya. I also just love your writing lol

Oh, thank you! I hope you like this one, I had a lot of fun with Yuuji and Nobara in it :D

Ao3 link

“I’m telling you, this isn’t gonna work,” Nobara sang as she pranced around the kitchen counter. “Megumi’s fucking clueless. You’re gonna have to get down on one knee with a rose before he even thinks there might be any romantic intent.” 

“Come on, Nobara, you’re being ridiculous,” Yuuji said as he shifted the stir fry around the skillet. “I’m making him lunch. It’s not like you make him lunch.” 

Nobara placed an elbow on the counter and rested her chin on it. “Yeah, I don’t cook for anyone. And like I said, Megumi’s fucking clueless. He’ll just think ��Oh geez, Yuuji’s such a nice guy, he made me lunch to be nice!’” 

“I don’t think Megumi has ever sounded that cheerful in his entire life,” Yuuji refuted. 

“Oh, my bad.” Nobara slumped her shoulders, forced an over-exaggerated frown onto her face, and lowered her voice as much as she possibly could. “‘Ah god, Yuuji made me lunch. Why is he so nice? I didn’t fucking ask him to be.’” 

“Mm, better,” Yuuji said. “But I still think—” 

“Hey.” Megumi shuffled into the kitchen, and Yuuji snapped his mouth shut and turned his head away. “What are you two doing?” 

Nobara pulled her phone out of her pocket, unlocking it to scroll aimlessly through the first app that caught her eye. “Yuuji’s making you lunch,” she said without looking up. 

Yuuji made a rather amusing choking noise, and Nobara had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. What, had he thought it would be less obvious if he just served Megumi a plate of food and said it was for him? Shit, even if he had, like she’d said, Megumi wouldn’t notice anything was amiss. 

“Oh.” Megumi sat down on the stool next to her, face as impassive as ever. “Why?” 

“To… to be nice?” Yuuji attempted with a small smile. “You want some?” 

“Uh, sure, since you went through the trouble of making it, I guess.” He shrugged before pulling out his own phone. “We’ve got that mission later though, so make sure you both are ready to go on time.” 

Yuuji’s smile fell, and Nobara couldn’t help but mouth, I told you so. 

Her friend glared, but didn’t dare to argue in front of Megumi. 

---

“Do you think if I asked him to go watch a movie with me he’d get the idea?” Yuuji asked a few days later. 

“Megumi doesn’t even like movies,” Nobara said. “You ever seen him watch a movie?” She clutched her switch controller tighter and scooted a little closer to the screen. If she could just hit Yuuji with a turtle shell—

“I guess not…” Yuuji said. “What does he like to do? He’s never that excited when we go out to eat, he doesn’t ever buy anything when we go out shopping, he—” 

Nobara punched the button, and let out a triumphant whoop as her shell hit Yuuji and she was able to cross the finish line just before him. 

“Oh fuck you.” He flopped backwards so he was sprawled across her bedroom floor. “I’m trying to have a genuine conversation.” 

“Your fault for starting it during Mario Kart.” But she set her controller aside, and laid down on the floor next to him. 

God, the ceilings in these dorms were disgusting. Why the hell did no one ever clean them? 

Yuuji groaned and laid his arm over his eyes. “I don’t wanna just ask him out! What if I freak him out? I wanna—Well, I wanna see if he’s even interested, or at least hint that I like him without just dumping it on him without any warning, you know? But nothing I try is working!” 

“Okay, do you want actual advice and help? Or you want me to butt out and mind my own damn business?” she asked. “‘Cause I’m more than happy to help, or just keep watching you crash and burn. Doesn’t really matter to me.” 

He was silent for a few moments, and let his arm drift back to his side, before saying, “I want help. Clearly I’ve got no damn idea what I’m doing.” 

“Alright, cool!” Nobara shot back into a sitting position. “Like I’ve said before, Megumi is clueless. If you wanna drop hints without being ridiculously obvious, the best way to do that is going to be treating him slightly different than he’s used to, and slightly different from everyone else.” 

Yuuji’s face scrunched up in confusion. “The hell does that mean?” 

Nobara tilted her head and tapped her finger against her chin. How best to explain this…? “Megumi doesn’t touch us,” she decided. 

“Huh…?” 

“Megumi doesn’t touch us,” she repeated. “Think about it! He hardly ever initiates physical contact. Not like me and you do, anyways. He keeps to himself.” 

“Oh… yeah, I guess you’re right,” Yuuji said. 

Nobara waved him off. “Of course I am. But here’s my point. Touch is obviously reserved for special people for Megumi, and knowing Megumi, he probably assumed everyone else is the same way. So a simple thing you could do would be to just… touch him more often. Sit closer to him on the couch. Tap his shoulder from time to time. Grab onto his arm when you laugh. That kinda thing.” 

“Wow, that’s actually a really good idea,” Yuuji said. “Is that a girl thing? Are girls just better at this?” 

“No, it’s a me thing. I’m better at this.” She picked his controller up off the floor and tossed it to him. “So give that a go. Now come on, quit moping. I’m winning this cup, so hurry up and pick the course.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He sat up and began scrolling through the different race tracks.

---

Nobara watched with a triumphant smile as Yuuji sat much closer to Megumi than he normally did on the couch. She had to give it to him, her friend didn’t make a big deal out of the unusual action at all. He just reached for the TV remote, and began flicking through channels like nothing was going on. 

Megumi glanced over at him, his brows knitting together in confusion, but he didn’t say anything. He turned back to the book propped open on his knee, but after every page or so, he looked to Yuuji, who was still just flicking through the channels. 

Their shoulders were brushing, and Yuuji shifted his leg so that their thighs pressed together. 

Megumi didn’t try to shy away. 

Without bothering to be sly about it, Nobara whipped out her cell phone and snapped a photo of them. Both boys were too distracted to notice regardless. She sent it to Maki with the caption, I deserve a medal for helping Yuuji get your idiot cousin to realize he likes him. 

It only took a few seconds for Maki to send back, They’re just sitting next to each other on the couch? 

Trust me, it’s a progress 

Whatever u say 

I do say! And she punctuated the text with roughly ten sparkly emoji hearts. 

“What’s got you grinning over there?” Megumi asked, tearing her attention away from her phone. “That’s usually not a prelude to anything good.” 

“Fuck off and mind your own damn business!” she snapped as she turned her nose up. “Why the fuck are you sitting so damn close to Yuuji anyways?” 

Yuuji’s mouth fell open, and she snorted at the look of complete and utter betrayal on his face, as if she still didn’t know exactly what she was doing. 

“Wha—I don’t—He just sat down here!” Megumi sputtered. “And I wasn’t about to get up and move!” A faint red blush dusted across his cheeks. “You fuck off!” 

“Oh, whatever.” Nobara pulled her knees up to her chest, readjusting to try and get comfortable in her own chair. “I was just wondering. Normally you push me away if I get that close.” She shrugged. “Hey, we should go get sushi later tonight.” 

Megumi narrowed his eyes, but his posture began to relax as he picked up his book again. “Yeah, whatever. I’m not paying though.” 

“I’ll just snatch Gojo’s credit card again,” she said, already pulling up a list of good sushi places in Tokyo. “I’m inviting Maki.” 

Yuuji began to relax as he realized Megumi had moved on from Nobara’s accusations. “Aw, you’re inviting Maki but not Panda or Inumaki?” 

“We’ll just bring them some sushi back if it’s so important to you,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I’m already setting up a reservation for the four of us.” 

---

“So… Bad news,” Nobara said with an exaggerated sigh. “The reservations got screwed up, but! They can do two sets of two.” 

Maki raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything, while Megumi demanded, “What?” in a flat voice. 

“So, Megumi, Yuuji, you two get your own table, and me and Maki will get ours,” Nobara continued. “We’ll just meet back up and go out and do something after we eat.” 

Maki rolled her eyes, but was quick to play along with the scheme she’d already figured out. “Yeah, whatever. I’m not standing here and waiting forever, just so I can eat raw fish next to you two jokers.” She rested her elbow on Nobara’s shoulder. “You boys have fun on your date.” 

Megumi just stared at them, while Yuuji muttered something about it not being a date. 

“Come on.” Maki nudged Nobara further into the restaurant. “I’m fucking starving.” 

Nobara glanced over her shoulder and winked at Yuuji, before allowing Maki to guide her along. 

“Real fucking subtle,” Maki muttered in her ear. 

Nobara resisted the urge to lean in closer. “Yeah, well, subtle isn’t gonna work too well for them.” 

“I suppose you’re right,” Maki said with a shrug. “Megumi’s always been that way.” 

Must be a Zen’in trait… Nobara thought, because despite Maki figuring out exactly what was going on with Yuuji and Megumi, she didn’t realize that Nobara had orchestrated this whole thing for another reason. 

But whatever. They had the whole school year. And for now, she would just enjoy her fancy sushi. 

Not five minutes after they sat down, Nobara’s phone buzzed, and Megumi’s name popped up. 

Nobara! Does Yuuji have a thing for me? 

She snickered and held the phone out towards Maki. “Told you I knew what I was doing.” 

Maki leaned back to rest her arm on the back of her chair. “Alright, alright, I’ll give it to you. But to be fair, only a fucking idiot wouldn’t realize someone was trying to set them up on a date after what you just pulled.” 

Nobara narrowed her eyes, and had to bite her tongue to keep from saying something she would regret. 

Her phone buzzed again, and she pulled it back. 

ANSWER ME NOBARA!!!! 

She smiled as she sent back yeah lol and then tucked her phone back into her pocket, content to ignore it for the rest of the dinner. 

It didn’t buzz again. 

---

“You know, you could have just told me you were interested,” Megumi said as soon as they got back to the dorms, and Maki headed back to her own room, leaving Nobara a little disappointed. “Or you could have just told me he was interested,” he continued as he whirled around to jab a finger towards her. 

Nobara raised her hands in surrender. “All I did was what was asked of me. He said he didn’t want to be obvious.” 

“But you were obvious!” Yuuji exclaimed. “You were so obvious! The only more obvious thing you could’ve done was tell him!” 

“I told you, he’s oblivious. This was the only way anything was going to happen within the next… oh, six or so months.” She shrugged and kicked her shoes off. “Now you can go hold hands or canoodle or do whatever the hell it is you wanna do. I’ll just go fuck off and watch shitty reality TV to feel better about my own life.” 

Yuuji caught her arm as she tried to turn and walk off. “Really… thanks. I know I never would have said anything if you hadn’t done any of that.” 

Nobara shrugged and offered him a small smile. “Hey, what are friends for? But really, I’m happy for you two. But leave me out of it when you’re being gross!” 

Megumi hid his face in his hands. “This is so embarrassing.” 

“What, caring about someone?” Nobara teased. “What are you, five?” 

“No! Not noticing what you two were up to! I knew something was weird when you basically sat on top of me on the couch—” 

“I left an inch of space between us!” Yuuji argued. 

Nobara snorted. Yeah, this definitely never would have gone anywhere without her meddling. “Well now you can sit on top of each other in peace. Like I said, I’m gonna go watch some shitty reality TV, you two have fun.” 

Yuuji and Megumi exchanged a quick look, and Yuuji grabbed her as she tried to walk off again. “Hey… Is something wrong?” 

“No. Nothing’s wrong.” She shook her head. Maki just didn’t notice anything at all, again, no matter what I do, and I’m running out of ideas. “It’s fine.” 

“Wait… What was the point in bringing Maki?” Yuuji asked. 

Shit, shit, shit. The last thing she wanted was for them to know she had a thing for Maki! Knowing Yuuji, he’d never be able to keep his mouth shut! 

“She wasn’t in on it, was she?” he asked. 

“I mean, no, not really,” she said. “She figured it out, but she didn’t know what was going on beforehand or anything. I just—” 

“You like Maki!” he exclaimed with a triumphant grin. “You like Maki!” 

Nobara lunged forward and pressed her hand over his mouth. “Shut the hell up! I do not!” 

“You’re a bad liar,” Megumi said as he crossed his arms. 

“It’s none of your damn business who I do and don’t like!” 

“I mean, you meddled with us,” he pointed out. 

“Because I was asked!” 

Yuuji gasped and clapped his hands together, wiggling away from Nobara so he could speak without her hand covering his mouth. “I’m gonna set you up with Maki! Like you did tonight!” 

“Please don’t,” she requested. It wasn’t that she had no faith in Yuuji—

Who was she kidding? She had no faith in Yuuji to be successful regarding something like that. He wasn’t even able to handle his own crush in a reasonable way, and there was no way in hell he would be able to convince Maki to ask Nobara out, or orchestrate a situation where such a thing would happen. 

“Aw, why not?” he pouted. “I wanna help you like you helped me! Maybe I could convince Gojo to send you two on a mission together or something. Or I’ll tell her you think glasses are cute!” 

Nobara’s eye twitched, and she fought the urge to drag her hands down her face. “Yuuji…” 

“Maybe you could make her dinner—” he continued. 

Megumi laid a hand on Yuuji’s shoulder and shook his head. “Maki’s not gonna go for anything like that.” 

“Well, I’ll think of something! Don’t worry, Nobara. I’ve got this!” 

Nobara laughed softly. “Yeah, whatever, Yuuji. I’m going to bed. You two have a good time. Kiss or something, I dunno.” She waved over her shoulder as she walked back to her room. 

---

At exactly 2:37 a.m., Nobara blearily woke up to the fire alarm going off, and shrill shouting in the hallway. 

“The fuck…?” She fumbled for her phone, but no one had sent any messages explaining what was going on. She had half a mind to go back to sleep, because she highly doubted anything was actually one fire, but curiosity got the better of her, and she rolled out of bed with her comforter wrapped around her shoulders, and shuffled out into the hallway. 

“What the fuck were you jackasses thinking!?” Maki snarled as she grabbed Yuuji by the t-shirt and shook him so violently Nobara heard his teeth clack together. “My shit is soaked!” 

Nobara frowned, and realized Maki herself was soaked. Her pajamas were dripping wet, and her hair was plastered to her face and neck. 

Oh my god… 

“Did you idiots set off the sprinklers!?” she demanded. 

“Only in my fucking room!” Maki shouted. “Gojo showed up and switched it off before anything got ruined but my entire fucking room is wet!” 

Yuuji wrenched himself out of Maki’s hold to hide behind Megumi. “It was an accident, Maki! I swear!” 

Megumi sighed and hung his head. “It was. He was just being stupid and bumped the sprinkler activation outside your door.” 

“Why were you even outside my door!?” 

“Uh…” Yuuji peaked over Megumi’s shoulder. “We were just going for a walk?” 

“In the middle of the night in the dorms!?” 

“Listen, it’s not a big deal,” Megumi assured her. “Like you said, nothing got ruined, and we’ll help clean it up in the morning. Why don’t you just stay with Nobara tonight or something?” 

Nobara’s mouth fell open as it all slotted into place, and she swore she was going to kill Yuuji in the morning. 

After she used this dumbass excuse for a sleepover with Maki. 

“Yeah, you can stay in my room,” she said. “My bed’s really comfy, and you can borrow some of my PJs.” 

Maki took a deep, calming breath. “You know what? Whatever. Fine. I’ll skin you both in the morning. I’m tired, and woke up to freezing fucking water pouring on top of me.” She twisted on her heel and marched towards Nobara. “But if this is what you two are gonna be like because you started dating, you’re breaking up!” 

“Aw, come on…” Yuuji whined. 

Megumi whacked the back of his head. “Your idea, you’re the one to blame.” 

“You better be talking about your supposed walk and nothing else,” Maki hissed as she peeled her top off so she was just in her sports bra. 

Don’t stare, don’t stare. God, why the fuck are you staring!? 

“Yep, yep! Walk and nothing else! Come on, Megumi!” Yuuji grabbed the other boy’s hand and yanked him down the hallway. “Let’s go thank Gojo for turning the alarms off and then go to bed.” 

Megumi grumbled something about him being an idiot, but followed after him. 

“Sorry about this,” Maki said as her shoulders slumped. “Did I wake you up?” 

“I think it was more the fire alarms…” Nobara said as she did her best to pry her eyes away from Maki’s abs. “Uh… Sorry about them. They can be stupid sometimes.” 

“Oh I fucking know. I’m not buying that walk bullshit, and I don’t wanna know what they were actually doing.” She shook her head, and reached up to wring out her hair, leaving water to drip on the hallway floor. “You have a towel I can borrow?” 

“Yeah.” Nobara opened up the door to her dorm and gestured for Maki to head inside. “At least we don’t have class tomorrow, so we can sleep in.” 

“Yeah, I guess.” Maki stripped down to her boxers next, leaving her soaked pajamas in a heap on the floor. “I’ll just sleep like this, if that’s cool with you?” 

“Uh… Mmhm! Y-Yep!” Nobara squeaked. “Do whatever you want!” God, it was a good thing the only light was from the moonlight filtering in from the window, because she could feel the heat on her cheeks. 

Nobara found a towel and handed it to Maki, watching as she toweled her hair and body dry, before dropping it with her wet clothes. 

“Do you want the wall, or the outside?” Nobara forced herself to ask, still not quite believing this was happening. 

“Wall,” Maki decided, before crawling into Nobara’s bed and making herself right at home. “Damn, why have you got so many pillows?” 

“I like pillows…” Nobara climbed in next to her. “It’s comfy.” 

“Yeah, guess it is.” Maki nestled herself beneath the blankets, laying on her side. “Come on, lay down.” 

With little else to do, Nobara flopped down next to her, and had to bite her tongue to keep from squeaking as Maki tugged her closer and nestled her against her to be the little spoon. 

“Night, Nobara…” Maki muttered as she draped her arm over Nobara’s waist.

Nobara couldn’t hide her giddy smile. “Goodnight, Maki.” 

Maybe… just maybe… Yuuji was as much of a dumbass as she thought. Maybe.

[opal-nite]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter sixteen — “aftermath”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.5k

synopsis: steve finds bucky a bit stressed and acting (only slightly) neurotic. he aims to uncover the source of his best friend’s conflict... and he’s not surprised at the answer.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

[A/N:] ‘doll dizzy’ is 40’s slang for “a boy who is crazy about girls” also this is kind of a filler chapter, sorry :(

The walk back to his living quarters was hazy and slow. His mind went back and forth from scattered to blank, in complete disbelief that what just happened happened. It was surreal; it almost felt like it didn't happen.

It wasn't... supposed to happen. They were supposed to be friends. Conceptually he knew this, but then she was there and she was so close and her hands were on him and she was saying such sweet, gentle things.

Briefly, so Bucky touched his lips lightly with the pads of his index and middle finger. If he focused hard enough, he could still feel it, feel her. Before he could dig himself another grave, the rational part of his brain yanked him back to reality.

Did he ruin everything? After all, it was him that leaned in this time. How different would they be from the last time the two of them got too close? The rumination would've continued, but the voice of a blonde super soldier interrupted his thoughts.

"Buck, you day drinkin' now?" Steve called, jokingly.

"What?"

"You look drunk."

Post fuck up delirium? He bet he looked like an idiot. To be honest, he felt a little inebriated after what he just experienced.

"I can't get drunk."

"Yeah, that's why I'm confused."

"I just..." he trailed off, thinking of an excuse, "was on a run. That's all."

As Bucky walked up to him, he could more clearly see the confusion on Steve's face.

"In those clothes?"

"...yes."

"Whatever you say, pal..."

Bucky didn't have time for so many questions! He didn't even have time to think; he had no idea what he was going to do, what was going to happen. Then Steve started talking again.

"Hey, Sam and I were going to-"

"I gotta go," Bucky interrupted, needing to find someplace to suffer through his thoughts.

"Buck-"

"I'll see ya later."

From there, he left his best friend more confused than when he found him.

—

Bucky paced around his room, his worried, worried mind running in circles. In the heat of the moment, she said she wouldn't leave, but how could she not? And what the fuck was transference? Was that what was actually happening? Even if it was, how could she condone his actions? There was no way she could stay after that! Right?

The rest of the session was so awkward and they left things in such a weird place and Bucky was so confused but also feeling all sorts of other things and-

"Bucky."

He turned to see Steve march through the entryway with a kind of glorious purpose only Steve Rogers seemed to have.

He sighed. "What do you need?"

"What is up with you, man?"

"What?"

"What's up with you? You're acting weird."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are. Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong!"

"You're a terrible liar," he deadpanned with a hint of a smile.

"I'm actually a good liar. I just... got a lot on my mind, okay? So, you can go be a worryin' geezer somewhere else. I'll be just fine."

"Geezer? Did you forget that you're literally older than me?"

"Shut up," Bucky all but pouted, too frazzled to muster up some creative banter. "Punk."

"Just tell me what's wrong, ya jerk."

He knew Steve wouldn't budge. At first he thought, stubborn ass. But then, he remembered how Y/N said Steve's stubbornness was something she really respected about him.

Bucky sighed, giving in and slouching into a chair near his bed. "It's Y/N."

"The... therapist?"

"Yes. The therapist."

"What about her? Did she do something? Is this another Zemo situation?"

Steve's voice got more defensive with each word. Like he was ready to kick someone's ass if need be. Steve Rogers: loyal to a fault. What else is new?

"No! No, nothing like that. Things are just... kinda complicated..."

"Complicated how?"

Yeah, how exactly was he supposed to explain this part? He didn't want to reveal any details and get her fired. Obviously. Steve wouldn't tell anyone anything that would get Bucky in trouble. That much he knew. But with Y/N, he wasn't sure. He decided to play it safe, proving that he was, in fact, a good liar. Or, at least a good only-tell-certain-parts-of-the-truth-er.

"Complicated like she might leave."

"Why would she leave? Are you guys done with the therapy?"

"Not exactly. It's... things between us are... odd."

"Odd?" Steve asked, clearly wanting some kind of elaboration.

"Yes," Bucky said curtly, giving him nothing of the sorts.

Steve stared at him for a moment, and it looked like he was trying to solve a math problem in his head. Bucky almost laughed.

"Buck, you didn't..."

"Didn't what?!"

"She's your therapist!" he exclaimed, although he didn't look very upset. More so surprised.

Now Bucky was starting to lose his composure. "What are you talking about?!"

"Well, I guess you really are getting back your old self because this is probably what he would do."

Did he just get called a man slut?

"What is that supposed to mean?" he crossed his arms.

"You've always been... what'd we used to call it? 'Doll dizzy?' Yeah. It's making a reappearance."

"I-..." Bucky exasperated.

Okay, maybe he was a little doll dizzy back when he was a kid, but now? Certainly not now. That's ridiculous.

"What? You're gonna look at me and you're gonna tell me that I'm wrong?"

"What exactly are you implying?"

"Are you..." he stuttered, slightly embarrassed, thinking of how to choose his words, "being intimate... with your therapist?"

If he wasn't preoccupied with worrying about his psychologist leaving, he might have laughed at Steve's awkwardness.

"What! No! It's not like that!" He felt flustered.

Steve laughed. He fucking laughed. "Then what?"

Bucky rubbed his eyes, groaning in annoyance. "We're... just friends."

Well, they were supposed to be. He's not sure what they were now... or what was going to happen. Beforehand, any cursed feelings he had were just that: feelings. They were in the back of his mind, barely making themselves conscious long enough to be known, long enough for him to be fully aware of them. But now, he felt like an exposed nerve, feeling all too much too fast.

"Just friends?" he raised his brows in disbelief.

"Yeah, just... yeah..."

"I think you guys look at each other a little too long to be just friends..."

Bucky scoffed. "What does that even mean?"

"I saw you two at the bonfire."

"Okay? Whatdya want, a trophy?"

"Yeah, yeah. And whenever she wasn't looking at you, you were gawkin' at her."

"I don't gawk," he rolled his eyes.

"Oh, but you do."

"And since when are you tracking everyone's eye movements?"

"You were subtle, I'll give you that. But I know ya, Buck. And I'm observant."

"Yeah, and I'm screwed."

"Why?"

"'Cause she's probably gonna leave now. I mean, she said she didn't have to, but she'll probably think everything over and end up leaving."

"What, 'cause you looked at her?"

"No, 'cause I kissed her!"

A smile grew on Steve's face. "I knew it."

Once more, Bucky let out a loud and annoyed groan of frustration. "Man, I fucked up. I had a good thing going for me... god damn transference... shit."

"Transference?"

"It's a thing she told me about, it's like... apparently my feelings about something else get transferred to her, so I don't really feel that way about her, but it seems like I do... I think."

"That's... a thing?"

"Apparently- I don't know," Bucky flailed his hands, beginning to pace again. "That's what she told me at least."

"Well... did she kiss you back?"

Bucky stopped moving.

"She did..." he said, while realizing that, yes, she actually did kiss him back and shocked that she... actually kissed him back.

He guessed his mind hadn't caught up to him yet. He hadn't analyzed their actions and each physical change between them. He guessed he was still stuck in that moment. In his head, they were still kissing.

"That's a good sign... right?" Steve shrugged.

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut, brain all but malfunctioning. "I don't know what it is. I don't know anything anymore. I'm a crummy patient..."

"Oh, come on. What happened to Brooklyn's ladies man?"

"He fell off a train."

Steve looked only slightly mortified, but it made Bucky laugh. Comedic catharsis seemed to ease the tension in his chest.

"Look," Bucky started, "she's like the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. And I think I might've ruined it. I just want things to be okay with us... I don't want her to leave."

"Did you talk to her about it?"

"No, we ended the session early 'cause of me. It was... awkward after."

"Well, go talk to her then!"

"I can't, I just left. I wanna at least give her some space."

"You didn't seem to care about space earlier," Steve teased.

Bucky smacked his best friend's arm. "Would you cut it out!"

"Wait, but how did it happen? Like did you just leap up and grab her face? How did it go down?"

"I'm gonna kill you."

"I thought I was the wing man! I need details!"

Bucky turned. "Oh yeah, wingman? How's Sharon?"

Steve shut up.

delicate taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie @strivingforelegance @ilovespideyyy @xpurpleglitter @bluelakeee @darkacademic2 @nickkie1129 @eclipsedplanet @paradisedixon @crazy-beautiful @coffee--writes @lilithknight1111 @buckybarnesishot310 @softladyhours @alwayssandy @quxxnxfhxll @those-sea-green-eyes @hero-ically @devilswaldorf @cc13723things @maravderofthephoenix @avengersgirllorianna @cataves @thatbitchsposts @talktomeaboutthestars @surrealpsycho @headheartbellarke @bubbly-moonwarrior @bluemoon-icecream @buckeyecreates

[saraminia]

Dead dove, do not eat. Opinions™ ahead.

Apropos nothing, let's talk about The Wingman and why it all went to shit for me with that episode. I keep trying to analyze and understand why I just can't get on the threesome train with y'all (and Dan). I'm sorry, that sounds very bad lmao.

Anyway, I think one reason it bothers me so much, is that I don't think enough of their individual growth and growth as a couple, is shown to us, for such a decision to be justified. We have to fill in too many blanks ourselves. How did they really get from those little bursts of healthy jealousy to "let's go fuck your ex".

Moreover, why was this plotline necessary? It wasn't that funny. It didn't develop their relationship. Why was the communication outside Jake's door so bitchy. It sounded to me like they were not at all ready for what they had come there to do. They hadn't had the necessary conversations and they were not free of all uncertainty and jealousy. It was like "Oh, you wore that shirt. You never wore it for me" and "Oh, you wore leather scented moisturizer. You never wore it for me." That's what it sounded like to me.

Actually, maybe that's the problem. We were never shown them going through that much trouble to seduce or offer that extra to each other. In fact, when it comes to sex between them, we never got any hint of them ever having sex after their first night. There were very vague allusions to it in the form of a few sex jokes, but there was never any indication shown that they even had a sex life tbh. They always slept in their pyjamas, only a head touching a shoulder. There was no plot line, that would have involved them going to have or having had sex. In fact, only time there was any sex happening, it was between David and another guy, on his wedding day no less.

I might as well admit it right now, that that pisses me off, too, but I made my peace with it fast and just kept reminding myself that this is a comedy show, it's all for the laughs. But still, we sure as hell have never seed David roll his eyes in ecstacy over how good he's had it with Patrick.

That's one of the biggest things bothering me. Only time we see them explicitly going to have sex, is with Jake. If we had been made aware that they have a good and satisfying sex life just the two of them, maybe then I could have more easily accepted this choice to make them want to try a threesome. But as it is, it came totally out of nowhere. It now seems just like they're doing it 'cause they're unsatisfied with their sex life. And that bothers me. Maybe it shouldn't. Maybe I should be fine with them needing other people to satisfy themselves sexually. But I'm not.

Unfortunately I need sex to mean something in fiction. I need it to be an expression of the characters feelings for each other. I need it to be emotionally driven. Now there was this strange dichotomy between their obvious love and devotion for each other and sex. As if sex was something completely separate from love and affection. Every time we see David have sex, it's without emotional attachment; Stevie, Jake, Sebastien, the masseur. Sure, there is that one time with Patrick, but that's it. Then it's all love but no sex. Cause sex apparently is not important in a relationship. It's just something you do for fun with whomever. He even tries to push Patrick to do the same, to go out with Ken and try it out with another guy, but Patrick is not able to. Because he only wants David, because of his strong feelings for David. How did that guy, who wanted physical intimacy to be only theirs, turn into a "yes, let's fuck whomever" -guy. It makes no sense to me. It's ooc.

And this is not about being prude or not being sex positive. I very much am sex positive. God knows I am all for it. But I do not believe many relationships can survive a threesome, unless you are truly polyamorous and free of all (very natural!) feelings of jealousy. There will be so many complicated feelings involved, I don't understand how it could be worth it.

Also Jake is not that hot. It's so unrealistic that Patrick would be all flustered and dtf immediately after meeting him (ok they met once before, but he certainly wasn't into him then!).

Idk I'm just talking in circles. But I'm not really even trying to make any point here. I just felt like talking about this, since recently I've been reminded about this threesome thing again. I guess ultimately my question is: why? Why would they choose to do that? Why would they want to? I know it's just as easy to counter with: Why not? But I can think of a hell of a lot more reasons not to do it.

God I wish I could talk to Dan about this. To hear in his own words why he chose to do this. Was it all for the laughs or is it just that important to him to push this sex positive agenda. That sounded more negative than I meant it, but I don't know how else to say it. I get the feeling that this sharing of your sexuality freely and generously (with whomever, regardless of whether you're in a relationship with someone or not), is a very important theme for him. Maybe it's because he's gay and the whole history of queer people being told our sexuality is bad and wrong and sinful and all that crap. I'd just like Dan to explain his viewpoint to me. If only.

In any case, I like monogamy and like to think relationships and intimacy is something a little bit sacred at least. There should be that something that is only the two of yours. Something that is private and not shared with others. That it's something special. Something to cherish.

Tbqh the way David and Stevie's relationship is discussed in this fandom as being very emotionally intimate and them being soulmates and basically not functioning without each other and the way there's this unquestioned unyielding support for this threesome story line, I often feel like what about Patrick? Doesn't he deserve more? Doesn't he deserve to have something that is just theirs? What is his role in David's life? What is the need in David's life that he fulfills? What is the point of a marriage if you're so freely sharing yourself with other people, that there is nothing left that's just for your husband?

Okay, I've tired myself out now. I've got nothing more for now. Until next time! 😘

[rebelwrites]

If My Body Had A Say (NSFW)

Clay Spenser x Reader

A/N told you it was gonna be a sinful week, my brain is in nonstop thirst mode this week! Song used is “Body Say” by Demi Lovato! Enjoy 😉

Join The Group Chat Here - If You Want Tagging Manually Let Me Know 🖤

Clay Spenser Masterlist

This Months Writing

“Right guys I have a feeling it’s gonna be a busy night tonight.” You smiled as you let the bar door slam behind you.

“Oh that’s it, turn up when everything is done!” Jake laughed.

“Urm you do remember, I am the boss and own this place right?” You winked, dumping your bag in the bar, “Just be grateful I’m tending tonight.”

“And by the looks of it, hoping to get laid as well” Jade laughed.

“Is it that obvious?” You smirked, as you hung your leather jacket up, revealing the black mesh top giving the perfect view of the red lace bra underneath.

“Nah” she winked.

“Just to let you know I will be calling dibs on any table there’s a cute guy on, shout up if you see one walk in. You all know my type” you laughed.

It was now around nine pm and you were right, tonight was busy but not too bad. You had your back to the door, pouring drinks when you felt something being thrown at you.

“Eyes right. Just walked in” Jake winked, looking over to the door you couldn’t help but bite down on your bottom lip at the Blonde god that just strolled in like he owned the place.

“Best wingman ever,” you smirked at Jake “Whatever table they are at, remember it’s mine tonight”

“Are you talking about the table or Blondie?” Jade laughed.

“Well if I have my way, then Blondie'' You grinned as the boys made their way over to the bar. You couldn’t help yourself as you grabbed the phone that was purely used for the music, scrolling through the playlists until you found the one you were looking for before hitting shuffle.

Turning back to the bar, you flashed the boys your best smile, whilst leaning forward giving Blondie the perfect view of your boobs, and you didn’t miss his eyes dropping before quickly looking back up.

“What table are you on boys?” You asked.

“The booth in the back corner,” Blondie smirked, as you locked eyes and in that moment it felt like it was only the two of you in the building.

“Perfect” you grinned, breaking eye contact with him, “write your order down and I will bring the drinks over shortly, also I am gonna need to get a credit card and ID to get the tab set up”

“Get Ya wallet out peaches!” One of the guys said as he slapped his hand on blondie’s back. “You lost the bet so tonight is all on you!”

“It was a stupid bet!” He huffed handing his bank card and ID over to you, his fingers brushing against yours, sending sparks through your skin.

“Thanks, I will bring this over once I’ve done” you nodded, flashing him your signature smirk.

Spinning around you placed both hands against the counter, taking a deep breath before looking down at the ID, you didn’t need it but he didn’t know that.

“That was sneaky, Y/N” Jade laughed, looking over your shoulder at the ID “fuck, girl he is Navy!”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve hit the fucking jackpot!” You grinned as you got the tab set up before slipping the bank card and ID into the back pocket of your jeans so you could get the drinks started, moving my body to the beat of the music.

“Someone can’t stop watching,” Jake laughed as he squeezed behind you.

“Let him watch,” you winked, as you grabbed your bottle of beer, bringing it to your lips as you locked eyes with Clay, throwing him a wink as you licked your lips, before you grabbed the tray of drinks. “Oh this is gonna be easy”

As you got closer to the table you heard the conversation.

“Seriously, you made it so obvious that you were staring at her boobs” one of the guys said.

“I think she caught me” Clay laughed “but I mean damn she is absolute fire, I couldn’t help myself”

As you got closer the conversation stopped, placing the tray down in the center of the table, you decided to keep hold of Clay’s ID and bank card for a little bit, as you had a plan.

“So what is a bunch of Navy Seals, doing in a little bar of mine?” You asked leaning against the wall.

“Change of scenery” one said. “And our boy here lost a bet, so we thought we would come cause some chaos in a new place”

“Well if you need another troublemaker, you let me know” you smirked “Trouble is my middle name, enjoy boys”

As you walked off, you put an extra swing in your hips and you felt a set of eyes burning into your ass. This boy was putty in your hands and you loved it. And if the change of music didn’t give the game away then you didn’t know what would.

About an hour had passed, and a lot of flirting had happened between you and Clay already, whenever they needed more drinks he was the one to come up to the bar. The conversation just flowed with him and you felt like you had known him years.

Leaning your forearms against the bar you locked eyes with him again, that smirk of his was going to get you into some serious trouble. As the music changed you bite down on your lip.

“If I had it my way, I would take the lead. And if I had it my way, I would take you deep. If my body had a say, I'd get it off my chest. Show you all the red lace underneath this dress. And our eyes are crossing paths across the room. There's only one thing left for us to do” you mouthed along with the song, as you maintained eye contact with Clay from across the room, “You can touch me with slow hands. Speed it up, baby, make me sweat. Dreamland, take me there 'cause I want your sex. If my body had a say, I wouldn't turn away. Touch, make love, taste you”

You couldn’t help but squeeze your thighs together as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and his blue eye darkened with desire. Before he looked down, laughing at something the guys had said. His smile made you feel so many emotions and left you feeling weak at the knees. Grabbing a napkin and a pen you scribbled a note before folding it up, placing it between the cards.

No one had ordered more drinks but there order was the same each time so you quickly got it all together before taking them over.

“We didn’t order any more drinks?” Jason said.

“Well you boys looked thirsty, so this one is on me” you smirked before turning to Clay, “oh I forgot I still had these” you said, passing him back his ID and bank card. “I’m going on a break soon, so if you need anything just ask Jade or Jake and they will look after you”

As you walked away you saw Clay check the note you had left him. Smirking to yourself you headed to the bar. “Right I am going on break, and if my plan has worked I don’t know how long I will be” you winked “just don’t come looking for me because you might see things you don’t wanna see”

It wasn’t long before the door to your office burst open, with a hungry Clay standing in the doorway. He didn’t waste any time as he rushed over to you grabbing your jaw in his hands, smashing his lips against yours, this kiss was far from romantic, it was full of urgency and lust, you smirked into the kiss letting the sparks fly through your body as you fumbled with the belt on his jeans.

“You have been such a tease all night,” he growled against your lips.

“What you gonna do about it?” You giggled, as you pushed his jeans and his boxers down, wrapping your hand around his dick, slowly pumping, making a low groan leave his lips.

“Mmm, I can think of a few things,” he groaned “starting with bending you over this desk.”

“Don’t you want your dick sucking first!” You whispered, as you ran your fingers over the head, making his knees buckle slightly. “I’m really good at it.”

“I have no doubt about that, Princess” he groaned “but I just wanna fuck you so bad right now”

“Well then, what are you waiting for?” You said looking through your lashes at him.

Within a few seconds, your jeans were around your ankles and you were pressed against your desk, ass in the air ready for Clay. The sharp sting on his hand made you moan before the feeling of him stretching you out making you gasp. He gave it a couple of seconds for you to adjust to his size, but then he got impatient, his fingers digging into your hips and he pounded you from behind.

“Oh fuck” you screamed, “shit that feels so good”

“God you feel good wrapped around my dick” Clay groaned, as his thrusts got harder.

“Shit, that’s the spot” you cried as he wrapped one arm round finding your clit. The feeling was intense, you hadn’t had sex in a while so everything was tighter and made the pleasure more intense, alongside the fact that you were at work. “Fuck, Clay don’t stop”

“I wasn’t planning on stopping, Princess” he growled.

You swore your souls left you body, as he thrust as hard as he could, the feeling of him assaulting your clit as well as the hard strokes pushed you over the edge, screaming his name as you came, but he didn’t stop, even though you were still riding the orgasm out, everything was even more sensitive now and he knew this by how you were responding, so he carried on as he chased his own high, leading you to a second mind blowing orgasm within minutes, both finishing at the same time.

“Fuck” you breathed, resting your check against the cool wood of your desk.

“You okay down there?” Clay said with a breathless laugh.

“Ask me in five minutes” you laughed, “not gonna lie, no one has ever fucked me that good before”

“Well just shows you hadn’t met the right person” he laughed as he slowly pulled out of you, making you whine at the loss of feeling. “You know this doesn’t have to be a one time thing right”

“Who said it was gonna be a one time thing anyway?” You giggled as you cleaned yourself up before pulling your jeans back up. “I have your address baby, I didn’t need your ID for the tab, that was just for me”

“You sneaky shit,” Clay laughed, resting his hands on your hips. “But I know I’m gonna need more, I’m gonna need to taste you, and I know I’m gonna get addicted to you.”

“Take me on a date then Spenser,” you smirked, getting lost in his blue eyes, “and I might show you just how naughty I can get.”

@chibsytelford @mrsmarvelous1995 @supervalcsi @talicat713 @disasterfandoms @bravo-four-seal-team @jasonbabymama @jayhalsteadfan-2417 @lotsoflovefromlea @seik-o @ohitshanksgirlxo @velvetcardiganbucky @phoenixhalliwell @pancakeisreading @itsonautopilot @pinkrockstar19 @galaxysanduniversesinmymind @softi92 @abby-splace @pancakeisreading

[tanoraqui]

tanoraqui

Still thinking about an au in which for some reason WWX and the Wens are left to just live peacefully on the creepy death mountain - some detente wherein they don’t leave the mountain ever and in exchange no one tries to visit ever. Borders patrolled by corpses and sect disciples. So A-Yuan grows up raised kind of collectively but mostly by WWX and Wen Qing (the one most likely to tell WWX that he’s doing it wrong), and learns healing-focused spiritual cultivation AND demonic cultivation, and then at some point starts sneaking out to be the terrifying force of righteous kindness he was always going to be

tanoraqui

Righteous kindness but also, like, having picked up WWX’s cavalier confidence (or at least some of the ability to fake it) and Wen Qing’s general attitude of Do No Harm But Take No Shit

Like IMAGINE

tanoraqui

In this au, despite the strict border-by-mutual-agreement that’s the only reason somehow no ones tried to attack, LWJ sneaks in like one a year so he and WWX can make eyes at one another but not actually say anything ever, and Wen Qing and LXC are both EXHAUSTED bc both their dumb little brothers (WWX is a sibling by adoption now don’t @ me) mope for like a week after EVERY SINGLE TIME THIS HAPPENS, and it’s been /over ten years/.

tanoraqui

Meanwhile Jiang YanLi and JZX are FINE, and JYL somehow keeps up some sort of correspondence with WWX - or at least, he’s faithfully managed to send a birthday present for Jin Ling every single year, and every time, JYL makes her son write a thank-you note and bribes some series of people to get it smuggled back to Yiling

tanoraqui

...which means, honestly, that Jin Ling is probably wildly curious about his uncle the evil demonic cultivator kept trapped within the terrible ghost mountain by the forces of Good and Right, and WILL sneak out one day to try to visit. Optimally, obviously, at the same time Wen Yuan is sneaking out to see the non-mountain world

tanoraqui

The optimal plot is that Wen Yuan ropes Jin Ling into helping him set up WWX and LWJ, because he, too, is exasperated at this point, and Jin Ling ropes Wen Yuan into arranging like a parent trap reunion for the Jiang siblings, and obviously there are monsters and undead to complicate it all

tanoraqui

They kind of acquire Lan Jingyi somewhere, somehow. He’s having a blast

There is a 100% chance that the first Adult(TM) to find them is Wen Ning and they just kind of rope him into whatever the hell is going on at the time

...you know what, I think this is just a good au where JGY fucking died at some point

tanoraqui

Maybe someone threw him down the stairs again and he just broke his fucking neck. WWX is still vilified but between Jiang Cheng not really wanting to attack and Jiang (Jin?) Yanli being AGGRESSIVELY against it, and dragging JZX along with her, they’re left in peace.

tanoraqui

Oh man and Jin Ling has YOUNGER SIBLINGS in this...

Hey for u: Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing can accidentally happen while the Teens are trying to get everyone else to meet

Today at 8:42 AM

@professorsparklepants

I love this it's so goddamn wacky

tanoraqui

I just want teenager-based shenanigans ft. surprisingly competent teenagers and all the adults running around like chickens with their heads chopped off

professorsparklepants

Jingyi: why are you two more calm about this than the literal adults

Wen Yuan: have you met my dad?

tanoraqui

Also to be clear it is not at all hard to convince Wen Ning to join Team: Teenage Shenanigans, bc literally ANYONE in the Burial Mountain village would probably be down if you were like, “we’re engaged in a conspiracy to make Wei Wuxian fucking admit that he’s in love with that Lan guy who visits a couple times a year”

professorsparklepants

"This is my father, and this is his sugar daddy."

tanoraqui

I kinda wanna say he goes by “Wen Yuan” more often bc he’s 100% the baby of the entire remaining Wen clan there, but his adult name or w/e it’s called IS Wen Sizhui, because WWX asked LWJ if he had any suggestions and LWJ said this while maintaining eye contact

professorsparklepants

OH MY GOOOOOOD

tanoraqui

They meet LXC and he figures out what’s going on in like 4 minutes, despite the teens’ best attempts at obfuscation, and instead of calling anyone’s parents is like, “okay, I’m in”

professorsparklepants

#1 wingman...

tanoraqui

Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are definitely both traveling under false names, too? Wen Yuan obviously can’t admit to being a Wen and Jin Ling is making a privileged but slightly helicoptered teen’s rebellious bid for freedom

professorsparklepants

His dad is panicking at home and Yanli is like "boys need their freedom :)"

I saw a post forever ago about how Yanli would be the most hands off parent & Zixuan is an only child who would panic every time his kid fell down

tanoraqui

With a side order of “my mother is the only one who’ll say nice things about the Yiling Patriarch and she always looks sad when she does so I’m going to sneak into the Burial Mountain and either drag him out to see her or force my parents to come get me”

professorsparklepants

"I'm gonna beat up the Yiling Patriarch" "why" "he made my mom sad" "okay proceed"

tanoraqui

^ actual real conversation with WenYuan

professorsparklepants

A-Yuan then repeats the same thing to Wen Qing and she has the exact same answer, verbatim

tanoraqui

Side note: Wen Yuan has never been scared of the undead in his entire life, and probably this will lead to getting into severely life-threatening situations when he doesn’t have more backup than 2 other teenagers

professorsparklepants

Oh absolutely

professorsparklepants

He's so used to tuning out the sound of sentry corpses that one jumps on him and almost punches his lungs out

tanoraqui

Also what if he took WWX’s sword, so he looks like a proper normal cultivator - honestly, what if WWX gave him the sword when he turned 12, or whenever one customarily gives a child a sword in this world. He also has a flute stashed in his robe somewhere but he does know how to use both

tanoraqui

But also, while obviously it’s very important that this is the sword he inherited from his father, it’s never OCCURRED to him to, like, strongly associate it with WWX, in terms of “this would be a recognizable weapon”? Chenqing the flute, obviously, but WWX just left the sword on a shelf all the time

professorsparklepants

He's very good at fooling people into thinking he's a normal rogue cultivator until he busts out the flute

LOL YES

tanoraqui

So the first time someone looks at him and is like, “That is WWX’s sword” he achieves, like, “Who’s Morales? [NOT THAT DUMB]” levels of blank-brained

professorsparklepants

It like, doesn't even occur to him that this stick named whatever will be recognizable to people until it actually happens

"this is the Yiling Patriarch's sword!" "... I've never heard of him"

tanoraqui

“What sword?”

professorsparklepants

KDJAKSNJS

tanoraqui

“Oh, THIS sword? I...found it. In a stream.”

tanoraqui

Also...at some point...once the teens have admitted their identities to one another...and possibly gotten into a couple other increasingly public shenanigans...they run into a bunch of concerned people searching from the Jin or even Jiang sect - JC being there would be PERFECT - and Jin Ling is like, “aaahh, no, I don’t want to be dragged home... kidnap me.”

WY: what?

JL: pull out the flute, summon a couple corpses, shout that you’re the dread son of the Yiling Patriarch, and pretend to kidnap me

WY: ...yeah okay

AND THEN THEY DO THAT

professorsparklepants

The dumbass energy...... off the CHARTS

tanoraqui

They’re 15 and neither of them has ever faced consequences but in...actually not too different ways

They’re 15 and neither of them as ever faced consequences nor most of the real world

Oh my god is Lan Jingyi the most sensible person here

They’re going to DIE

professorsparklepants

JXHAKAJAKKQHSJA

JC and Yanli immediately see through this probably

"dumbass kid just doesn't want to go home. I'll break his legs."

tanoraqui

I think Yanli does but I have minimal faith in JC’s ability to think logically at any time

He’s still angry at WWX for leaving

professorsparklepants

Stomps to Yiling to demand his nephew back & wwx's like "lol, A-Yuan left two months ago"

Okay my shift is starting later

tanoraqui

/snort

Though, bold of you to assume that WWX isn’t also running around anxiously somewhere like “oh god, oh no, my son is missing; I must find him”

professorsparklepants

Sizhui is a responsible boy, I don't think he would leave without telling at least ONE person where he was going

tanoraqui

Ok but it was Wen Qing who thinks it’s good for WWX’s health to stop brooding and go run around like a headless chicken instead, optimally if he runs into his totally-not-a-boyfriend-Hahahaha-why-would-you-say-that

Alternately it was, like, Granny, which, ditto

No one on this mountain is going to stop WWX from going out to cause trouble and hopefully get laid, is my point

tanoraqui

Also, the cultivation world has been basically at peace for 13 years and the reason is that this is an ideal AU where JGY is dead and whenever trouble starts to stir politically, NHS and JYL meet eyes across the room and mentally Rock Paper Scissors over who has to manipulate everyone into calming the fuck down

Neither of them actually wants this job; they’re just good at it and recognize both those aspects in each other

professorsparklepants

LOLOLOL

That is.... so goddamn in character

tanoraqui

concept: JYL and NHS are friends and no one else understands it, or attributes it to JYL just being that nice, bc NHS still generally acts useless

professorsparklepants

Nhs actively wants to be useless and life is conspiring to make sure he can't

tanoraqui

a little less dramatically useless, but why ruin a good thing when you're having fun and it's useful

professorsparklepants

Lol

tanoraqui

but JYL fucking identified him as Actually Competent one time when he couldn't hide it, so now sometimes they get tea together and bitch about politics and stupid people

professorsparklepants

He's the only person who can correctly identify when she's talking shit about people, because it's VERY subtle and her brothers & husband are too busy thinking she hung the moon to notice

tanoraqui

JYL striding into Nie sect HQ (whatever it's called) and tossing her coat over a chair. "You would not BELIEVE what my brothers are doing now."

NHS: *probably knows, because he's found that the minor investment of effort in maintaining a very good spy network pays major dividends in helping him avoid greater work* *immediately sits up and pours her a cup of very expensive tea* Oh, girl, dish.

professorsparklepants

Question: are they also friends with lwj...

tanoraqui

yes but he's obviously not invited to hte political gossip sessions

professorsparklepants

I'm trying to imagine lwj making eye contact with them at some meeting his brother dragged him to and both of them struggling not to break into hysterics

tanoraqui

but they both know that he sneaks into Yiling to visit WWX a few times a year, and every single time, JYL sits him down within a couple weeks and aggressively debriefs him as to her brother's condition

professorsparklepants

I'm sure she tried to get him to take treats in

tanoraqui

for sure

it's hopeless, though, bc there's no really predicting WHEN he'll go? It's basically just "every 4-6 months when LWJ's resolve breaks"

professorsparklepants

Too bad she's not a stress quilter instead of a stress baker

tanoraqui

she gets him to go at an actual arranged time, bearing pork soup, like once, for WWX's 30th birthday or something

professorsparklepants

:)

tanoraqui

omg lit brain: LWJ of course is hte WORST for getting gossip, but JYL has pieced together a reasonable amount about the people her idiot baby brother (#2) is now living with. And she's mildly despairing as to idiot baby brother #1's ongoing refusal to get married and have an heir or three. So she, if not actively connives, then certainly siezes the first available opportunity to set Jiang Cheng up with Wen Qing

tanoraqui

basically, this au is PEAK romcom

tanoraqui

...also, for max happiness, i'd like to think that WWX made some strategic raids to rescue additional Wen refugees and bring them back, so there's a properly populated village and they didn't all just die

professorsparklepants

!!!

Good... Good thoughts

Good because 1. more people die and 2. The Yiling Patriarch will attack your village and steal your people away!

tanoraqui

(romcom being exclusively adults-focussed; the teens initiate it all but Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are both so delighted to have an Additional (But Cooler) Family Member that they comfortably cousinzone each other instantly)

professorsparklepants

*nice*

tanoraqui

...i feel like i keep characterizing Jin Ling as an only child, when really he ought to have a small horde of siblings

maybe they just...couldn't conceive more. shit happens. pregnancy is hard.

professorsparklepants

That happens sometimes

[kassandras-one-braincell]

OHH AND ALSO I haven't seen any knight and Princess / sleeping beauty AUs or anything like that for our ladies so how about that? 🤔

Oh my god, a knight/princess AU? The fucking p o s s i b i l i t i e s give me your brain wingman anon, I beg thee:

The whole cliché where you’re a princess in a tower guarded by a dragon and there’s a group of cowering knights crowded around the tower, trying not to shit themselves at the sight of the dragon. And Kassandra rolls up on Phobos, an excommunicated knight because she fucked her previous kingdom’s princess or smth, effortlessly slays the dragon, scales the tower like a mountain goat, helps you down and asks, “Are you my reward?” while the other knights just stare in shock asdjsdjgafjh 🥴🥴

Or a lil something with Abby where she’s a knight sworn to protect you, a job she initially detested because you’re a little too reckless and she’s stubborn as all fuck (but she still pounds you into the mattress from time to time uwu) and AND she finds out you’re to be betrothed to some prissy lord and she’s all “holup that’s my woman :c” but she can’t say it out loud, she’s v sad and you plot a way to make the lord seem too cowardly for you because you’re low-key in love aaaaa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

AND THEN WE HAVE EIVOR AND SOMA

THIS AU IS MADE FOR THEM, THE GORGEOUS CHIVALROUS BASTARDS

I mean holy shit literally any AU scenario would click for these two since they’re strong and well-spoken and excellent fighters hhhhh

But imagine (and obviously there’s a little bit of medieval-typical-misogyny sprinkled in for depth) a neighbouring allied kingdom court is visiting because a fictional brother of yours is to be married, your kingdom is outraged upon finding their strongest, most revered knight is a woman. King and Queen (yo parents) haven’t married you off because you’d just cause them trouble tbh and oh look, strong sexy allied knight takes a liking to you 👀👀

And here we can branch off because Eivor and Soma would earn different reactions from your court. Eivor is a gives-no-fucks butch who is unabashedly gay and openly flirts in front of your (unfortunate) suitors, one will eventually challenge her to a duel and she’d just laugh and humour them 🥺. When it oversteps the alliance boundary she’ll just climb through your bedchamber window like a spider monkey and rendezvous there 🥰

Soma meanwhile would be a little sneakier, and while she could easily deck any of the knights in both of your courts, she’d rather mock her opposers and irreparably bruise their fragile little egos (like she did to Wigmund in the Grantebridgescire arc) with her insane BDE. One of them gets pissed enough to hire an assassin and she just disposes of the guy effortlessly in front of you, says “apologies, my lady, there’s blood on your gown” and that’s it you’re kissing her fuck me the patriarchy 🥰🥰🥰

And after the prince’s wedding to that kingdom’s daughter, where both ladies would happily sneak you out of the banquet for some alone time 👉👈 they would make the case to their court that it would be safer for the newlywed bride to have some familiar protection (not that they cared about her, they just want to be closer to you 🥺). They would probably take on a few knights at once to prove to Mr and Mrs Misogyny that they’re fucking strong enough and with your vouching, boom, they’re all yours.🥺🥰

ha i got carried away there huh

if literally any of these interest any of you guys then uh let me know and i’ll get planning lmao

[pogueshomecoming]

Cocaine - JJ Maybank

Requested? yes: "can you do a JJ fic where he gets roped into doing cocaine at a Kook party and ends up becoming a little abusive towards the reader? and she recognizes it as the actions of his father."

pairing: jj Maybank x reader

fill out this survey to join my taglist(s), here's my masterlist, and requests are open!

warnings: mention of drug use, mention of abuse, yelling/arguing, shoving

word count: 3.1k

++

It wasn't often that the Pogues wanted to crash a Kook party. Why would they when a keg on the point was enough for them?

Tonight was different. JJ and John B wanted to go have some fun, and maybe cause a little trouble. Initially, you, Pope, and Kie protested. There wasn't any reason that they needed to go looking for a fight. Eventually, their persuasive words won. Only on the promise that there would be absolutely no fighting.

You and Kie decided to stick together. Then you both decided it would be a good idea to keep tabs on John B and JJ from afar. You trusted your boyfriend, and even more so with John B by his side, but it was an extra precaution.

After making sure you were in the same room as them for about two hours, Kie sighs. "I think we're in the clear. We never stay a lot longer than this anyway, so they should be ready to go soon. Let's go see if we can swipe some weed to take home."

John B was chatting up a girl, and JJ seemed to be acing the wingman role, so you agreed and followed Kie outside. You texted Pope to wait ten minutes before finding John B and JJ to tell them we're leaving. Ten minutes was just enough for everything to turn to shit.

Kie worked her magic on some Kooks that hadn't been on the island long. You watched her eat up how gullible they are. Five minutes left on the clock. You knew the group would have to go right after Kie snagged what she wanted because it could cause trouble if they realize what she'd taken.

She sits down between them, right where the bag is sitting. If they're stupid enough to show off their product, they're dumb enough to let it get taken. Plus, the name "dirty pogues" didn't come from nowhere. Kie was the perfect bait, though, because everyone knew her parents were kooks, but these newbies weren't aware that she was not.

Kie pulls her phone from her back pocket, likely shoving the bag in its place. Each of the boys enters their number. Two minutes left. She stands up, immediately turning to face them both. You can see the bag slightly poking out of her pocket. She keeps backing up until she's far enough they won't notice, waving goodbye and blowing them a kiss. As soon as she turns back to you, the two if you quickly make it inside and through the house.

Back at the van, Pope is nowhere to be found, and neither are the other two. The timer has less than a minute left, but Pope is always punctual. Kie stashes the bag in the hiding spot under the backseat and joins you in leaning against the outside.

Your phone rings with a new text message from Pope.

Need help with JJ.

"That can't be good." Kie rolls her eyes, and you groan.

"Ten minutes, that's all it was. Okay, I'm going back in, but you stay here. Have the van ready in case he's pissed someone off." Kie salutes you, and you disappear back into the house.

It's not very far through the front door that you're met with John B and Pope pretty much carrying JJ. They each have one of his arms hung around their shoulders, and they're supporting his weight as he stumbles.

"What the fuck? John B, what happened?"

John B only looks at you with guilt all over his face. "We'll explain in the van, we gotta get out of here first."

Pope's words make you look at him but not for long because JJs head drops to his chest, and you reach forward to lift it back up. His eyes are glossy and red, but a slow smile spreads across his face at the sight of you.

"Hello, gorgeous! I've missed you all night."

"Hi, JJ." You say softly, but the worry is written all over your face.

Finally, you push through the front door. Kie gets out of the driver's seat from starting the car and pulls open the back door. "What the hell happened to him? Is he okay?"

"Depends on how much coke someone can do in ten minutes. John B doesn't think there was enough time for him to get enough that would hurt him." Pope blabs, causing John B to curse at him as they set JJ into the backseat.

"Coke? John B are you fucking kidding me? You did coke? That shit is dangerous! Even more so for him, have you met his dad? I'm going to kill you." Anger is written all over your face as you shove John B with both palms on his chest.

"I didn't do any, I turned my back for a few minutes, and then he was gone! It's not my fault, don't push me." John B sounds like a child, and it only makes you angrier. Angry to the point of tears.

"You said nothing would happen tonight. You said you'd be there with him. You said he'd be okay." You push him again with each sentence. Pope grabs you from behind, crossing your arms against your chest. The tears stream down your face with no end in sight.

"I know what I said. Fuck you, I didn't put him in danger on purpose." John B's voice is low, which is a sign that he's angry at you too.

"Come on, guys. This isn't helping, we need to get back to John B's so we can make a decision." Kie steps in between you two and holds her arms out.

"Fine."

You crawl into the back with JJ. He's slumped with his back to the center console and legs stretched out in front of him. You reach for one of his hands as you sit down next to him, and Kie crawls in with you.

"Are you awake, J? Can you feel me?" You give a gentle squeeze, and his eyes barely move to look at yours. It seems like they're going to roll back into his head.

"Can you tell me how many lines you did?" Kie speaks up this time, leaning in front of his face so he can see her.

JJ shakes his head. "I feel great, guys. There's no need to worry." He slurs. You and John B make eye contact through the rearview mirror, and you look away immediately.

"He's never done coke before. It's unlikely, but even one line could cause an overdose. We just need to keep him awake." You look out the window to see you've made it about halfway to your destination.

There's a knot in the pit of your stomach, and you feel like you're going to be sick every time you look at JJ. His hands are shaking, he's sweating, his breathing is heavy, and you place a hand on his chest to confirm that his heart rate has increased. You're scared for him.

Kie continues to talk to him to keep him awake. He's replying, but he doesn't sound anything like himself. You've pretty much zoned out everything by the time you arrive at John B's.

You're the first one out of the van, meeting John B as he hops out of the driver's seat. "You're going to deal with this. You're going to fix this. It's on you if anything happens to him."

The angry but empty threats spill out of your gritted teeth. You turn your back to the house and walk down to the dock to sit. No one follows. Everyone else helps JJ inside. You can't look at him like that because it scares you. You know that as his girlfriend, you should be right there by his side but you can't.

It's at least a couple of hours before you hear footsteps behind you. When you turn to see who's sat down next to you, you see John B.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." His voice is hoarse like he's been crying or yelling or maybe both. "I was talking to a girl, and she dragged me away to uh... anyway, JJ obviously didn't follow because it would've been fucking weird. I didn't think he'd go down to the basement where they were doing those things he never has before. I thought he was coming to find you. Then Pope appeared and said he couldn't find JJ, and it was too late by then." His forearms rest on his knees while his hands are tangled in each other. John B genuinely feels terrible.

"I shouldn't have blamed you. I was, and still am scared. Addiction runs in families, and it only takes one time to get hooked. But JJ is his own person, and I can't blame you for what he did. I'm sorry." You lean into his side, and he swings an arm around your shoulders.

"It's alright. I get it. We do have to be careful with him and these things, I know that now. Anyway, he's coming down, and he asked to see you. If you don't want to yet, I can tell him you went home." John B turns his head to look at your instead of the water in front of you.

"No I want to. I can't have him thinking I ran out on him. Can he come out here?"

John B nods and gets up to go back to the house. "Thanks, JB."

He gives you a smile, and you listen to his footsteps retreating. It's only a few minutes later before you hear another set approaching you, so you stand up and turn to face JJ.

"What, you didn't want to come to me?" He holds his arms out to the side in a big shrug, but you're caught off guard by his tone. It's not JJs usual sarcastic and playful tone.

You let out a small chuckle, trying to play it off. His eyes darken, and he shakes his head. "I wasn't kidding, Y/N. You ditch me for two hours and then demand I come to you? What the fuck?"

This wasn't your JJ. The soft and sweet JJ that held you when you were scared or just feeling lonely. This was a different side of him, one you'd never seen before, but it felt familiar for a reason you couldn't explain. It was a feeling.

"I was scared. I'm sorry, J. I didn't know how cocaine would affect you." You step back as he takes another step forward.

"You just didn't want me to have any fun. You think I didn't notice you at the party? Conveniently in every room, I was, watching me like a hawk, making sure I didn't do anything you wouldn't approve of." The corners of JJs mouth turn down into a frown as he points a finger at you and sneers.

"I w-was just looking out for you. You always seem to fight with a kook when we go to those parties. I want to prevent it, that's all." You put your hands up like you're surrendering.

"No, what you were doing was suffocating me. Fuck, Y/N. I'm not something you get to control." JJ steps closer to you, but you can't step any further back without falling into the water. "Do you understand me?"

His finger jabs into your chest hard enough that you think you'll have a bruise.

"I wasn't trying to control you, JJ. I was trying to make sure you didn't do anything stupid, but it didn't matter because you did it anyway." You fight back. You're not going to shrink to his angry words.

"That's where we disagree, sweetheart. It wasn't stupid, it was fun. I've never been so high. I was floating, drifting, finally not having to think about all the shit that goes on around here. Finally not thinking about everything I go through anymore. Look at this, Y/N." JJ lifts his shirt to reveal a nasty bruise with a gash right through it. Your jaw drops, it had to be recent because you hadn't seen it yet.

"It finally didn't hurt anymore."

It clicks with you. This is all familiar to you already because JJ's father is just like this. Luke is fine when he's high, but once he comes down, he's angry and mean.

"Okay, so let's get this straight, yeah?" You nod at him and he nods back at you, a little bit of confusion coming to his face. "You did this to not feel anything. To get away from how your dad makes you feel, right?"

JJ nods again, his head titled sideways ever so slightly like a confused puppy.

"So how do you think you're making me feel? You're acting just like him right now, JJ, but I know you're better than this, better than him." Your eyes are pointed as you jab his chest just like he did yours. Your face is straight, with no emotion, but his angry face returns in seconds.

"How dare you, Y/N. I'm not any better than him, and I never will be. I'm destined to turn out like him. Why can't you see that? You expect so much, I can't fucking take it!"

Without warning, he pushes your shoulders, and you lose your footing, falling back first into the water. When you surface, John B is pulling JJ away from the dock. "What the hell, JJ? You don't lay your hands on her, ever!"

As John B drags him away, Pope and Kiara lean over the deck to make sure you're okay. Besides having the wind knocked out of you, you don't have a scratch. You're not bothered by JJs words because you know he didn't mean it, you're just hoping he'll come to his senses.

Kie and Pope each give you a hand to hold on to as they help pull you out of the water. Kie gets you an extra set of clothes out of the ones you two had left here for emergencies. You change on the front porch, listening to John B and JJ fight inside.

She's waiting for you back outside, laying on the hammock with Pope. They hold their arms out, and you climb over Kie to lay in their middle. Kie immediately wraps her arms around you because she knows you love to cuddle. Pope shows his affection by giving your shoulder a squeeze.

"You okay?"

A sigh leaves your lips. "Yeah, I'll be okay. JJ didn't hurt me in any way. I just hope I said enough to make him realize he's wrong. JJ isn't his dad, he's nowhere close." Kie squeezes you tighter. Pope pushes his hand against the tree so the hammock sways. It's the middle of the night, so it's a good thing that John B doesn't have any neighbors to worry about.

Eventually, the two of them fall asleep, but you can't. John B and JJ are still going at it, but not as frequently. It gets quiet for what you'd guess is thirty minutes, and then they start up again. There's no telling what's been broken in there.

Finally, at dawn, you're starting to get sleepy when the squeaky porch door opens. You expect to see John B with an update for you, but instead, it's JJ. His eyes are sad, but so is his whole face. He's exhausted, and you can tell in the way his shoulders are slumped.

JJ doesn't notice you're awake at first, but when he does, he can't look you in your eyes. You crawl back over Kie, very ungracefully, and eventually get yourself untangled and back on your feet.

"Want to talk, down on the dock?" You hold your hand out, and he looks up at you finally. His eyes are red and full of tears, but he gently takes your hand.

"I know you're disappointed." JJ's voice is so quiet that it breaks your heart.

"Oh, baby. I'm not. I-"You reach out for him, but he steps away and cuts you off.

"You should be. That was terrible, I'm terrible. I didn't mean any of those things I said to you. You're not suffocating, you're nowhere close. You care about me and you love me more than I could ever ask for or deserve. I pushed you, Y/N. Why would you even want to look at me? I hate myself for this." JJ completely breaks down in front of you. Somewhere in his speech, his voice broke and it was like a dam holding in all of his cries and sobs. You step forward, and he doesn't fight you as you wrap your arms around his shaking body. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, don't leave me. I'm sorry."

He's gripping your shirt for dear life as if you'll start to disintegrate and slip right through his fingers.

"Hey, listen, I'm okay. It's okay. I'm not hurt. Now you know, right? That shit isn't anything to mess around with." Your fingers comb through his unruly hair. He nods against your chest.

"Never again, because you were right. I'm better than Luke Maybank. I'm not him, and I'm not going to turn into him. I owe it all to you and your unconditional love." JJ peers up at you. His blue eyes are shining, almost the prettiest color blue you've ever seen them.

"Oh come on now, you owe yourself the credit. Besides, I didn't truly know what unconditional love was until I met you and the pogues, so you get credit for that too." You smile at him, and he hesitates, but slowly, he smiles back.

"I'm so happy to have my boy back. Now, I need to clean that ugly cut on your stomach before it gets infected."

"Eh, I don't think it will. I'm pretty sure I poured vodka in it at the party." JJ lifts up his shirt again so you can see it. Instead of looking at it again, you reach up and wipe the stray tears off of his face. His attention is entirely yours now.

"You're insane, JJ Maybank, absolutely insane."

Before he can reply, someone speaks up from behind the two of you. "So... everything okay now?"

John B, Pope, and Kiara are all standing there. The sun is rising, casting golden rays on everyone.

"Yeah, everything's okay." JJ says confidently, his hand squeezing yours.

"Anyone up for a sunrise boat ride?"

++

a/n: honestly my computer glitched while I was editing and I couldn’t tell where I was typing at so there might be some random letters somewhere in there. I looked but I couldn’t find it lol 

Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to reblog or send me feedback :)

[coinsoup]

Do You Believe The Magic 8 Ball? I do

the keefitz fic... finally 

tw: minor injury and blood 

 Keefe glanced over at Fitz who was lying on his bed still attempting to complete the star map Keefe had finished ages ago. Keefe sighed heavily, pulling himself up from his spot at the foot of Fitz’s bed. He wandered over to a bookshelf in the corner of Fitz’s room. Gnomish culture and tradition was the first title Keefe saw. “Nerd,” Keef muttered, a fond smile creeping onto his lips.

 There weren’t just informational books on the shelf though, Fitz seemed to keep most of his little knick-knacks on the shelf too. Keefe smiled softly when he noticed one of his drawings was framed. It was one of his first ones too, so it wasn’t exactly a masterpiece. 

 Keefe picked up a strange black sphere. He brought it closer to his eyes, shaking it slightly when red words appeared in a small circle. The letters were written in a language he couldn’t understand which was weird.

 “Hey, Roy,” Fitz startled slightly, smearing the ink.

 “Keefe, this better be important,” Fitz said, glaring at his ink-stained hand.

 “What’s this?” Keefe managed to get out without bursting into a fit of laughter.

 Fitz looked up then, letting out an indignant huff at Keefe’s slightly mocking smile. Fitz’s gaze finally landed on the weird ball in his hand. Fitz looked as if he was racking his brain for a way to explain it, which quite frankly Keefe didn’t like. 

 “It’s called a magic 8 ball,” Fitz decided on, “It’s basically a fortune teller” Keefe gave him an unimpressed look. “It’s supposed to predict the future, or tell you the truth about something.”

 “Yeah, sure,” Keefe scoffed, “Where’d you get this from anyways?”

 “Father brought it back from the forbidden cities for me” Keefe winced at the word father and made a mental note to rant about his dad later so Fitz could vent.

 Keefe considered the object for a moment wondering if a human object could really do that, it wasn’t like the elves could so it’s not like the humans could either, right? Then Keefe had an idea, now let’s be clear most of Keefe’s ideas ended in disaster.

 “Is Fitzy in love with me?” Keefe asked aloud, shaking the 8ball. Most definitely it read, Keefe gave Fitz a smirk who was watching him curiously. Keefe tossed the ball to Fitz who caught it easily.

 “I mean you knew it wouldn’t work right?” Fitz asked. Huh, Keefe thought, he wasn’t even flustered. He had just denied it with no shadow of doubt in his voice. 

 Keefe was pretty damn sure that his feelings were mutual, but this, well, was unexpected, to say the least. There’s no way he could be that oblivious right?? And thus Keefe’s plan began.

 Keefe needed help for the last stage, so logically he asked his best friend’s older brother. So here Keefe was standing at the edge of the Ravagog braiding long grass blades as he waited for Alvar. Just when he was finishing his second braid he heard footsteps behind him. 

 “Hey kiddo, it’s been a while.” 

 “Alvar?” He was standing a few feet away looking as cheerful as ever, albeit a little tired. Keefe sat up quickly, then stood a little awkwardly unsure if a hug would be too much. Alvar just laughed softly hooking his arm over Keefe’s shoulder as they walked down the path.

 “It’s not that I don’t love seeing you, but what was so important it couldn’t wait till the end of the month?”

 “Well, about that” Keefe began, “I need your help with something.”

 “Okaaaay” Alvar drawled, “and could that something involve a little mischief,” playfully squeezing Keefe’s shoulder where his hand rested on it.

 “I mean I guess you could call it that, I need help with your dumbass little brother,” Alvar was just looking at Keefe, so he took that as a sign to continue, “I need you to lock us in a closet.”

 Alvar continued to stare for a second before he keeled over in a fit of laughter. Keefe felt heat rush to his cheeks as Alvar finally calmed down enough to look him in the eyes, doubling over once again

 “So you finally got your shit together huh? Or wait let me guess he’s still hopelessly oblivious and it’s not funny anymore.” 

 “Take a wild guess.”

 “I mean I guess it runs in the family,” Alvar said and his smile looked almost sad. 

 “Anyways,” Alvar said, clearing his throat, “basically you want me to be your wingman.” 

 “... well, when you put it that way-”

 “What do I get in return?”

 “Nothing,” Keefe said, putting on his best angelic smile, “You’re gonna do it ‘cause you love me.” Alvar smiled ruffling Keefe’s hair, “That I do, that I do.” 

 The two walked back to the front of Ravagog in companionable silence that was occasionally interrupted by a joke or two. Once they made it back at the entrance they stood there for a second before Alvar reached out to pat Keefe’s shoulder. 

 “I’ll see y-”

 “I missed you” Keefe interrupted. Alvar blinked at Keefe, smile falling from his face, in that moment he looked so full of regret and sadness that Keefe couldn’t even begin to comprehend it. Alvar pulled Keefe into a strong hug squeezing him tightly right before he let go.

 “I missed you too kiddo.”

 Phase one out of three began a few days later. Keefe and Fitz were sitting outside by the lake to do their homework. They were sitting pretty close already but Keefe sighed and shifted his textbook leaning a little closer to Fitz. 

 Keefe watched from the corner of his eye as he purposely pressed his thigh into Fitz’s. Fitz’s eyes widened and his hand jerked subtly enough that Keefe wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t paying attention. Good thing he was.

 Fitz tried to subtly shift away but Keefe was having none of it. Fitz gave up on subtly and crossed his legs so it would be painfully obvious Keefe was pressing their legs together on purpose if he tried again. Keefe waited a few minutes then flipped over on to stomach so that their arms brushed every time Keefe went to write something down. 

 Fitz let out a frustrated sigh next to him and Keefe looked over to where he was attempting to plan an essay for Elvin history. He could work with this.

 “Need some help with that ‘Roy?” 

 “Please,” Fitz said, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice. Keefe hummed as he sat up leaning over Fitz’s shoulder to read over his work. 

 “Pen?” Fitz held out the pen. Keefe pretended to still be reading over Fitz’s work as he skimmed his fingertips along Fitz’s knuckles, who shivered at the light touch. Keefe then pressed his chest into Fitz’s back reveling in his sharp intake of breath. 

 Keefe continued to stay pressed firmly against Fitz who seemed intent on keeping his breathing regulated while Keefe corrected his work. Keefe finished slowly putting the pen down. You know what, fuck it Keefe thought.

 “You’d think with all the books you’d read you would better, I guess it’s for the aesthetic, I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t suit you though,” Keefe said, lips hovering close to Fitz’s ear who was completely frozen in place.

 Keefe laid back down on the ground facing upwards this time so he could look over at Fitz every so often, who was still distinctly flustered the rest of the afternoon.

 Stage two had to wait until the night before Alvar would come visit. It was a Friday so the boys had decided to play basequest, they pestered Biana and Della into joining them so they could actually have a full team. By the time Keefe and Fitz finally gave up, it was dark. Going to plan so far.

 The two boys trudged into Fitz’s room drenched in sweat. Fitz started rifling around in his dresser. It had been a few minutes when he let out a muffled curse.

 “I think I lost my crest, I’m gonna go look around outside,” Improvising is never a bad idea, right? Keefe hummed in acknowledgment waiting for Fitz’s footsteps to fade down the hallway before he began. 

 Keefe peeled off his sweaty shirt and dug around Fitz’s shirt drawer. Keefe hesitated before putting it on, eventually throwing it back and walking into Fitz’s bathroom to shower.  When Keefe came out of the bathroom Fitz wasn’t back yet.

 Keefe then went back to the dresser pulling on a pair of Fitz’s more casual pants and throwing on a shirt that he knew was a little oversized on Fitz so it should fit him fine. When Keefe looked at his reflection in the mirror he felt his cheeks flush at the sight of him. If he was blushing, then Fitzy should have a fun time with this. 

 Just as he turned back around Fitz came through the door holding his Vacker crest triumphantly in his hand. His gaze lingered on Keefe’s shirt then realization seemed to set in. Fitz blinked and Keefe knew he’d be blushing hard if he could. 

 “I- Uh- my shirt,” Fitz managed after staring at Keefe slack-jawed for a couple seconds

 “Very observant,” Keefe teased, taking a step closer then wrinkling his nose, “please shower you reek.”

 Fitz was able to make it into the bathroom without much trouble. That was a lie, Fitz tripped over his feet seven times (Keefe counted), he didn’t tear his eyes away from Keefe’s frame longer than five seconds and stared at him for a solid thirty before shutting the bathroom door behind him. 

 Keefe chuckled going over to the desk to get a piece of paper so he could sketch. Keefe let his hand flow, graphite shading in hollows and lines. When Keefe looked at the rough sketch of what he had so far he wasn’t surprised it seemed to be Fitz of some sort, after all, that’s what most of his drawings ended up being. When Fitz stepped back into the room he seemed to be a little more, well, put together. 

 “Sorry, I didn’t ask but I can stay over tonight, right?” Keefe asked when he heard the bathroom door slide into place. 

 “Yeah sure, whatcha doing?” Fitz questioned as he randomly picked a book from the shelf.

 “Sketching,”

 They both laid there in silence for a while, Fitz engrossed in a book he had probably read several times and Keefe detailing his drawing. Keefe sighed in relief when he managed to get it to look somewhat like he wanted it. He leaned on the back two legs of his chair tilting it backward. 

 “Please don’t fall,” Fitz said, putting his book down on the nightstand. Keefe huffed, but complied standing up and walking over to Fitz’s bed. 

 “Move over,” Keefe said.

 “Huh?”

 “Scooch, I’m tired and clingy,”

 “Clingy?” Fitz repeated, squeaking. 

 Keefe somehow managed to maintain his bored expression as he turned off the lights and got under the covers. Fitz was still tense beside him minutes later so Keefe decided he needed to do something about it.

 “Fi?” Keefe whispered gently, “c’ mere.” Fitz seemed to stiffen even more and this was the first time Keefe truly felt like maybe he had been wrong after all. It’s not like it would have been surprising, Keefe wasn’t much of a catch, just a childhood best friend really.

 Keefe’s breathing began to become rapid but was held off by Fitz’s warm hand on his forearm. When Keefe got himself back under control he took it as a sign that yes, you can touch me it’s fine. 

 Keefe scooted over to where Fitz was lying down and threw an arm over his torso burying his nose in Fitz’s neck. Fitz eventually melted into the touch fully relaxing and falling asleep to Keefe’s steady heartbeat and soft breathing. 

 Keefe woke up to Fitz whispering, well, that’s what Keefe assumed it was supposed to be but it was a little too loud to actually be considered whispering. He opened his eyes to see the blurry frame of Alvar glancing back over his shoulder as the door closed behind him. Fitz sighed heavily pushing his fingers through Keefe's hair.

 Keefe tried not to give away the fact that he was awake but Fitz eventually felt Keefe shift. Fitz’s hand paused for a second then pulled away like he was burned.

 “Morning, Fitzy,” Keefe said into Fitz’s chest.

 “I- uh morning,” Fitz muttered, shifting in embarrassment.

 Keefe refuses to let go of Fitz for several minutes despite Fitz’s, albeit weak protests. The two boys got out of bed a little awkwardly and shuffled over to the bathroom.

 Keefe’s cheeks burned as they stood side by side brushing their teeth. Fitz was leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed humming tunelessly. Keefe willed his cheeks to cool down before Fitz opened his eyes.

 Fate wasn’t on Keefe’s side cause Fitz opened his eyes then cocked his head to the side wordlessly asking for an explanation.

“It’s too damn domestic,” 

 Fitz dropped his toothbrush back into the holder, and like the asshole he was, leaned back against the sink and let his head lull onto Keefe’s shoulder. Keefe finished quickly nudging Fitz so they could go down to the kitchen.

 They entered to, well, quite a scene. Della was standing at the stove burning breakfast as Biana made coffee off to the side warily side-eying her mother. Alvar was seated on a barstool, chin propped up in his hand staring into a mug.

 “Oh, hey boys,” Alvar looked up smirking at them. Keefe subtlety shook his head which Alvar frowned at but motioned for them to sit down. 

 “Fitzroy, be a dear and help me?” Della said a slight edge of panic to her voice. Fitz didn’t even have a chance to sit down before shuffling over to help. 

 “What happened?” Alvar said, leaning closer to Keefe.

 “Nothing, and that’s the problem, he really is clueless,” 

 “If the closet idea doesn’t work I have a backup plan.” Keefe didn’t exactly like the look in Alvar’s eyes, but you do what you have to do.

 Fitz managed to salvage enough food to hold them over until lunch. Alden came in and everyone started eating. The silence wasn’t tense per se but it sure as hell wasn’t comfortable. Alden excused himself after not too long, leaving a wake of awkward silence. 

 “We’re still making mallowmelt right?” Biana piped up.

 “Oh right, Alvar, Fitz, Keefe can you grab the ingredients?” Della asked. 

 The pantry wasn’t exactly the ideal size for a locked in a closet situation, it was a little too roomy but Keefe could make do. Fitz turned towards the shelf looking for the flour. Keefe turned towards Alvar who mouthed five minutes. Keefe nodded, handing the bag of sugar to Alvar who grabbed the flour from Fitz.

 “I’ll bring this out to mom, find the flavoring,” Alvar told the boys as he walked out of the pantry. Keefe heard the lock click behind him but Fitz was too busy reaching for the vanilla to notice.

 “Fuck it,” Fitz muttered which was never a good sign. Keefe glanced Fitz’s way to see him shuffling over some containers so he could step on one of the lower shelves. dumbass

  Fitz tested his weight, he must have thought it was sufficient because he pushed himself up on it reaching for the vanilla. Shit, Keefe thought a moment too late as the shelf started creaking. 

 “Fitz,” Keefe said lowly.

 “Almost there…” 

 Fitz had no self-preservation apparently because he pushed his other foot off the floor putting all of his weight on a shelf as old as the house. The shelf, as expected, collapsed with a dull snap. Fitz released his hold on the bottle of vanilla as the ground rushed towards him. 

 To Keefe it all seemed to happen in slow motion as he stood there, useless. The bottle of vanilla shattered sending glass shards in all directions. Fitz meanwhile was attempting to soften his fall by catching himself with his hands.

 “FuuUck,” Fitz screamed as glass impaled his right palm. That seemed to spur Keefe into action because he rushed to Fitz's side, hesitating before resting his hand comfortingly on Fitz’s bicep.

“Why is it locked?” Della’s voice could be heard through the pantry door as she tried the handle. When Della swung the door open she and Biana were gazing worriedly down at the pair.

 “I told you guys,” Alvar said as he casually made his way to the door, “they’re fin-”

 “I am fine,” Fitz said through gritted teeth, hiding his palm so his mom wouldn’t see it. Della muttered something about cleaning the mess up. Keefe’s eyes shifted to Fitz’s hand and he saw blood surfacing around the glass.

 “I’m gonna go check to make sure Fitz doesn’t have any cuts,” Keefe announced, dragging Fitz through the door by his uninjured hand.

 “Ah, good idea,” Biana said, grabbing an old rag from the cabinet. 

 Keefe pulled Fitz into the small bathroom at the end of the hallway shutting the door gently behind them. Fitz eased himself up onto the countertop wincing even though he only used the fingertips of his right hand.

 Keefe wiggled his fingers, a nervous habit he has had since he was little and bent down to open the cabinet. He held Fitz calf as he propped open the cabinet door searching for antiseptic and a towel.

 Keefe stood back up cradling Fitz's injured hand who winced at any movement. Keefe drummed his fingers nervously against the cabinet as he inspected the wound. Honestly, it was a nasty cut but not too deep, though the glass was still wedged in Fitz’s skin so that was gonna be a pain to remove.

 “Fitzy,” Keefe said gently, reaching out for his hand once more, “we need to remove the glass okay?” 

 Fitz nodded in response, biting down on his lip when Keefe opened a drawer to get some tweezers. Keefe positioned the tweezers above the glass, attempting to gather up the nerve to pull it out. 

 It was a lot harder to care for someone else’s injuries than his own. It’s not like his parents hurt him, but they didn’t care for him either so he had to learn how to clean a scrape when he fell from a tree around 8 years ago, Keefe was well practiced at this point.

 Fitz’s hand involuntarily flinched as Keefe gently started to pull the glass out. The tweezers dug deeper into Fitz’s wound drawing a sharp intake of breath from him. Keefe gritted his teeth and finished the job, pulling the glass out and placing it down onto a paper towel. 

 “Sorry, are you okay?” Keefe asked, placing his hand gently on Fitz’s knee. 

 “You’re overreacting it was just some glass Keefe,” 

 Keefe ignored that last comment grabbing a cloth and silently working at cleaning Fitz's hand. Keefe knew from personal experience alcohol stung but Fitz sat there stoically as Keefe used the alcohol wetted tip of a cloth to clean his wound. 

 “Keefe,” Keefe looked up from where he was tracing the lines of Fitz’s palm lightly. They were nose to nose and wow Fitz’s eyes were so much prettier up close. Keefe searched Fitz’s eyes for something, anything to indicate what he was feeling.

 Fitz’s uninjured palm came up to cradle Keefe’s jaw before his thoughts could spiral too far. Fitz’s thumb ran against Keefe’s cheek and any coherent thought he had flew out the window. 

 “Can I kiss you?” Keefe managed. Fitz’s eyes widened in surprise but a shaky nod was enough confirmation. Keefe leaned in slowly, still unsure if this was happening. Their lips touched and Fitz was warm, so warm. The kiss was sweet and innocent but enough for them. 

 “Oh,” Fitz said a little breathlessly after Keefe pulled away. Keefe blinked at Fitz in shock then burst into a fit of laughter leaning his forehead against Fitz’s shoulder. Fitz’s arm wrapped around Keefe’s back comfortably remaining there even after his laughter dissolved. 

 Keefe finished wrapping up Fitz’s hand and tugged him down from his spot on the countertop. The two boys walked back into the kitchen which was, well chaos at best. Alvar was stirring a pot, nose crinkled, and brow furrowed as he attempted to change the temperature on the stove. 

 When Alvar met Keefe’s gaze he raised his eyebrows to which Keefe responded with a thumbs up.

@never-ever-too-many-fandoms @loverofallthingssmart @comas-are-for-sleeping @you-are-the-vacker-legacy @clearlykeefitz @theofficialkai517

[kane-m-killer]

Here’s a small horror story draft

________________________________________

Has anyone seen Pete? He’s 25,6’1,black curly greasy hair,pimple face? Used to frequent this subreddit often? I wanted to ask you all if you have seen them cause I’m an old friend of his and I wanted to say if any of you saw him or have seen him.

Run away, Run far away.

No I’m not joking either,Or trying to paint him in a bad light. This guy is serious bad news, and if you won’t take my word for it. First off, good on you for not trusting a random Redditor. Allow me then to start from the beginning as to why the next time I see this man it will be in a morgue when we are both dead.

I met him at a A&A meeting. I was in bad shape when I met him, addicted to drinking at 21 and down on my luck. He was a new member we had to say hi to and he sat next to me once he introduced himself.

I can’t remember the details of the conversation but I know we talked about something boring like the weather maybe.

He was there for a few more sessions until he stopped coming.

I didn’t think much of it until one autumn night when I left the building after the meeting,7 weeks sober then mind you, he was there leaning against the building. It was like he was trying to seem cool but in actuality just looked dumb and a try hard.

But nevertheless I still went up and talked to him, I can’t tell you why but I guess it doesn’t matter now. We talked more and his slow monotonous voice gave an air of disturbed charm to me. I thought he was like one of those guys that are bland on the outside but fascinating on the inside. And strangely because of that we became friends.

Friends for 3 years for that matter. And through all that time he was a good friend, he offered his advice and gave me a shoulder to cry on when needed. It’s just that something about his behavior sometimes really should’ve told me he was trouble.

For example when me and him were at a bar being the sober friends at a party and he was flirting with a girl next to us, me being too tired to be a wingman I stayed quiet but listened to his conversation.

“So what are you doing tonight honey?” He started off with

“Nothing to do with you that’s for sure” she retorted and I held back a laugh.

“…You should shut the fuck up then before I take those hot lips of yours and cut them off.” He said with a voice that I haven’t heard him use ever. It was fucking creepy

“Excuse me?!” The lady said immediately getting up to leave

“I’ll be able to kiss your sexy lips all the time if I cut them off, you sure aren’t using them much if you're using them to talk shit.” He continued grabbing her arm. I was utterly shocked and disgusted with him and got up and punched him clean in the face. He reeled back and gave me the dirtiest look and yelled at me, we argued, screaming at each other for a good minute before we were kicked out the bar for disturbing the peace, he left in his car and I was there with no ride.

I was about to call an Uber when someone tapped my shoulder. It was the girl who Pete harassed, she wanted to thank you for defending her and asked if I needed a ride. We talked on the way to my house and I’ll cut off at this bit to just say Her name is Desiree and she’s now been my best friend for three years.

The reason I’m telling you this is because me and Desiree became close enough to move in together, and throughout that whole move from my mothers house (yes I know, cringe) I haven’t told Pete about her and me, in fact I don’t think I had a full conversation with him since the bar fight. And honestly I was fine with that.

I just wish it stayed that way.

It’s been a couple weeks since I fully moved in with Desiree and I was home alone while she worked the night shift. I was messing around on my phone when I felt eyes on me. Not the kind of eyes you feel from a worried mother or annoying friend but just eyes, cold unmoving eyes.

I got up from the couch and looked at the windows. Desiree had one of those studio apartments with the balcony window the size of the wall. I tried to stare into the blackness that was night outside but of course I saw nothing of anything or anyone. But the eyes still wouldn’t leave me. I looked everywhere in the house but no dice.

The eyes felt like it was amused at me failing to try and find its source. I decided it was just my mind messing with me and I just went to bed.

I fell asleep pretty easily after I calmed down and the eyes almost went away,until I woke up.

Now there’s this thing about humans that can detect if it’s life is in danger. I think my body activated because of that. Cause when I woke up I felt a weight at the side of the bed.

Someone was in the bed with me.

I didn’t dare move, I didn’t dare speak. Anything that could have indicated I was alive save for my breathing ceased. I tried to access the situation but a hard metal object touched my back, it felt like every nerve in my body prepared me for this moment but when the moment came I just froze. It’s such a pathetic thing to do but I couldn’t do anything other than freeze.

I felt the person scooch up to me pressing the knife closer at my back, to the point where I was drawing blood and the person’s chest was touching my back. I could feel their hot breath on my neck that night.

We stayed that way for what felt like hours. I think they were waiting for me to move or show that I was awake or something cause I stayed froze in that position, at that time I couldn’t even feel my body with how hard I was trying to keep it together.

The worst part about it was that they never spoke a word, but their eyes were unmistakable. They were the same eyes watching me from afar earlier now staring at the back of my neck waiting for me to mess up.

The front door soon opened with what I assume was Desiree coming home from work, the person in my bed slowly moved away and came off the bed. Their weight being so heavy I almost flew up when they got up.

While they opened the door out of my room I slowly reached for my phone on the desk. I heard him walking downstairs and typed in a number quickly.

Pretty soon I heard it. Desiree’s phone rings. She picks it up and her sleepy but joyful voice almost makes me cry of relief.

“Hey dude, what’s up? Did you go to sleep early?” She said, I can hear her smile as she puts down her things and opens the fridge. I can’t hear the person who was in her house.

“I’m fine, just wanted to say hi, and yeah…could you do me a favor and go outside real quick?” I said trying my best to not sound like I’m shaking as my body finally responds to moving as I snuck out of bed.

“Um,what? Listen man I’m too tired for any games rn.” She said sounding a little annoyed. I don’t blame her.

“Just, go outside like right now.” I hear a creak of wood on her end of the line “please.”

I raised a glass cup high above my head, the plan came to me during the call as I was straining to listen for the intruder. I smashed the glass against the wall and I heard it double on the phone.

“Now!” I screamed into the phone before hanging up and jumping out the window of my room, her apartment was thankfully on the second floor to the way down wasn’t deadly. But concrete on bare skin hurted like a bitch.

I heard a scream from the window and my heart dropped, but the next thing I saw made my whole body stop again. The intruder was looking at me recon the window I dropped from.

And it was Pete.

Me and Pete stared at each other for what felt like eternity, his dark eyes and pimple faced morphed by the dark room into something hideous to look at. I heard the building door open and out came Desiree with blood coming from her arm.

We both ran away with him close behind. It hurt to move after being still for so long but I had to keep running. We managed to lose him in traffic and alleys and after thirty minutes found a police station. We came in scared and with bloody bare feet, we told them everything and we stayed there for the rest of the night.

Some police went back to the apartment and by a stroke of luck found him waiting for us in Desiree’s room doing stuff that I won’t repeat here. He was arrested for attempted murder and breaking and entering. I later found out he was outside watching me through the window via a ladder. So that would explain the eyes.

But something happened in court and he was let go due to good lawyers from his family. He’s out free and I haven’t seen him since

So that’s why I ask, have you seen Pete? I don’t know if he’s moved to another country or is still around here. He could be anywhere and I wouldn’t have the foggiest idea where to look.

Remember what he looks like. 25,6’1,black hair and pimple face. Don’t trust anything he says to you and just run.

And watch the people you meet in a AA meeting

[anika-ann]

Nothing but the Truth - Pt.1

The Photo Evidence

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader        Word count: 2480

Summary: A fake dating AU. Be sure that when you have one lunch outside the Tower, you will be found and accused of dating Steve Rogers, aka Captain America. Yep, that’s just your luck.

Warnings: swearing, fluff...?

Story Masterlist

“So…” Tony crossed his arms on his chest, raising a challenging eyebrow, making you sink into your seat. He stood next to the hologram, staring you and Steve down with a glare so intense you thought he might have got possessed by a demon or something, because since when was Tony Stark able to look like a disappointed parent? That was Steve’s domain as far as you had been informed! “Either of you have anything to say for yourself?”

You gulped, averting your practically-boss’ gaze and pressed your lips into a thin line as your fingers fumbled with the hem of your blouse.

“So? Just so you know, the press is loving this. They have a freaking field day,” Natasha added, crossing her arms as well and you truly felt like you were five and were being hauled over the coals, your father and now your mum giving you a hard time over a broken vase or something.

You eyed Steve, who shifted in his seat, his eyes fixed on the photograph. He didn’t utter a word and you bit your lower lip, wondering what was on his mind.  

You would love to say that you had no idea how this happened.  

Except you had every idea.

Meeting Steve in the lobby just outside the cafeteria, you couldn’t help but smile up at him and he returned the favour, a crinkle of green in his blue eyes.

There had been a time you had been intimidated by him – it had taken you several encounters to lose the stiffness in your shoulders, the barely audible tremble in your voice (that was when you actually found the courage to speak) – but now, seeing him almost every day, welcoming him with the corners of your lips upright felt like a second nature.

After all, he was one charming bastard. And what worse, he was a gentlemanly, honest and witty bastard, who was one of Sam’s closest friends, if not the best one; replacing you, which... okay, you could be Sam’s best female friend, you were alright with that.

You and Sam went a way back; you had been the first person to welcome him at the VA centre and as he was yet another charming bastard, even at that time, you instantly hit it off, mostly because of him; it was near to impossible not to seek his company, he was like… like some sort of a life-charger.

If you were being honest, there was a time when you thought you might even become more than friends, because who were you kidding, that man was ridiculously attractive, but when you met… he was still healing from losing his wingman and a relationship was the last thing on his mind. And later… you were too deep into your friendship, friend-zoned for eternity and too comfortable with each other, you guessed. You were alright with that and you wouldn’t trade his friendship for the world.

And then the world turned crazy, Sam had a literal run-in with Captain America, became at first a part-time and then a full-time Avenger and practically dragged you to the Avengers Tower to apply for a job in administrative. You had been hired on spot despite still being employed at the VA. But seeing as it was the only way of keeping Sam and your lunches together and as you weren’t too opposed to a change of scenery…

Sam introduced you to Steve way too early and against your will. Well, not that you didn’t want to meet the Captain, alright, but he was the kind of man that was not running in the same social circles – until recently – as you and Sam just brought him to one of your friendly lunch dates in the Tower cafeteria and nearly shook your hands for you. Which was… odd. You were rendered speechless and you didn’t say a word during the whole lunch.

However, Sam apparently had a vision in his head, needing his two besties going along perfectly and lunches in three became a regular thing so you would crawl out of your shell. And funnily enough, it worked and you and Steve fell into a rather easy friendship, most of that happening when Sam had been called away and you were forced to have lunch without him. You might have started to enjoy those even more than when he tagged along.

Which brought you back to today.

“Hey, Steve. No Sam today?”

He shook his head and you swore there might have been a tiny eyeroll to go with that gesture.

“Tony needed him, because of the Falcon wings. Urgently,” he emphasized, making you chuckle at the billionaire’s insistence. It didn’t surprise you, you heard of that infamous feature of his enough times.

You most definitely did not run in the same circles as the Avengers, unless they were Steve or Sam; sure, you had met them, because Sam was a mingler who mingled and adored you enough to insist on introducing you – bless his soul – but just because you worked at the Tower, it didn’t mean that you were in everyday contact with the Earth’s mightiest heroes. You were nothing but an office rat, one of way too many at the Tower, one wheel in the huge machine that was needed to run Stark Industries, which founded most of the Avengers’ work.

You just happened to be Sam’s – and if you dared to say it, Steve’s – friend.

“Where are you today?”

You blinked as he held the glass door opened for you, smiling at him in thanks and snapped back to reality.

“Huh?”

“You keep zoning out on me. Anything… troubling you?” he asked gently as he fell to the line with you, ignoring the menu boards in favour of scanning your face for signs of distress. He was sweet like that.

You just shook your head, deciding on partly admitting the truth; partly, because you knew he wouldn’t be happy to hear you say anything resembling him being out of your league (of any kind of social interaction) and you wondering how the hell that happened.

“Eh, just remembering when we started getting lunch here,” you shrugged, eyeing the menu absently. “You know, all three of us?”

He hummed in affirmation, following your suit. “You wouldn’t talk to me.”

“Can you blame me?” A gorgeous man and a hero, biceps size of a bowling ball? With a smile that might as well serve as a powerstation with its brightness? “I was a bit stark-stuck, cut me some slack.”

“You wouldn’t talk to me until the third lunch.” Your heart stopped. He remembered the number of lunches? Worse, he remembered that at all? You felt your face get hot. Not in a pleasant way. “Sam was trying so hard to get us to talk and laugh, but it wasn’t working until-“

“Don’t,” you basically growled over your shoulder, only to see his signature shit-eating grin. Why had you ever thought he was a virtuous man?

You placed a soup on your tray and moved over to the salads.

“-until you attempted to stab a tomato-“

On a second thought, you weren’t in the mood for a salad today-

“-and it landed in my plate.”

“I hate you,” you mumbled, turning around with your tray, only to feel a bump from your side, causing you to sway the tray hazardously.

You would have been able to balance it and save it, but the soup was fucking hot as it splashed from the bowel to your abdomen and your hand and with a yelp, you let go of the tray in order to pull the burning-hot material of your blouse from your skin, your afflicted hand shaking wildly in attempt to cool itself at least a bit.

Before you could fully comprehend what was happening, you heard a shattering noise as the tray hit the ground, a ‘shit’ and a ‘sorry’ and you were being cooled down from a bottle of water which Steve charmed out of fucking nowhere, the cool liquid like a balm on your burned skin.

Yeah, you were soaking and you’d feel like dying of embarrassment because of people probably watching you later, but at the moment, you adored Steve for his quick reactions.

He was asking for another bottle of water, but you stopped him with a simple raise of your hand, eyes closed as you breathed through the pain; less sharp, but still present.

Whoever you had collided with was long gone, the staff eyeing you with concern and already rushing to you with cleaning supplies. Steve’s gentle hand led you away from the mess, brows furrowed as his eyes kept flickering from your face to spy in how much pain you were, to your slowly reddening burns.

“Let’s get you to the bathroom and then get you some dry clothes, okay?” he whispered over the buzz of cafeteria and nodded at the staff as they dismissed you both with a wave of a hand. You felt a different kind of burn in your face as many, way too many people stared at you.

You were sure some of them were cackling, you noticed even when you tried your best to keep your gaze glued to the ground; when you looked up and saw their gaze travel up a bit, whatever mean smile they had froze on their lips and they swiftly minded their business again. You only guessed that they had met Captain America’s disappointed glare; you had seen it, never been at the receiving end, luckily, but you didn’t blame them one bit and you were immensely grateful to Steve for not letting you do your walk of shame – in which you were an utterly innocent participant – alone.

He waited in front of the ladies’ room until you cooled your burns again, walked you to your office where you stored an extra set of clothes just in case of whatever and offered you an apologetic smile and soft ‘I’m sorry’ on his lips.

“…what are you sorry for?” you asked him, utterly confused and it distracted you for a minute from the embarrassment that had come knocking at the door of your mind. Christ, how many people saw your little scene? Did anyone snap a picture?

“If I haven’t been teasing you about the-“

“Oh my god, Steve,” you groaned when you caught up, your hand landing on his bicep on autopilot, a gesture to get him shut up, which was something you were used to from when you wanted to silence Sam whenever he was being stupid.

You quickly snatched your hand away when you realized that the sensation was slightly different, the bicep under your palm felt just a bit thicker and firmer than usual and you had in fact very much groped Steve.

Great, now both of your hands felt like on fire.

You gulped, hoping foolishly that he hadn’t noticed your slip. You had noticed, okay. You would have very interesting dreams tonight…

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you added.

He frowned, dissatisfied, but then his face lightened up. “Come on. Let’s grab a lunch-“ you froze at the horror image of you coming back to the hellhole of cafeteria only about a half an hour after you giving them the super-awkward show. “-somewhere. I’m paying. What are you in the mood for?”

And he asked with such cute inviting smile, his eyes shining, that stupid green spark dancing in blue sea and you didn’t even have the heart to point out that you hadn’t crashed into anyone, but had in fact been crashed into, let alone to tell him no.

It ended in a lovely lunch date and it… kinda felt like a lunch date, his long fingers gingerly checking on your burned hand at one point which wasn’t hurting at all anymore because he was your hero and… yeah, you might have been crashed into, but it was getting harder and harder to ignore that you had a freaking crush on Steve Rogers.

Thinking about it, the photo did make it look like a date as well. So, you didn’t really blame that the tabloids plastered it over the front pages with Steve being who he was and him usually keeping his private life secured as Fort Knox. This was huge and would have been even huger if it wasn’t one big misunderstanding caused by a ridiculous game of chance.

“It was, eh, a coincidence, honestly. One thing led to another, we had a little incident in the cafeteria-“ Steve finally started to explain and you felt just the tinniest bit of the burden that had seated itself on your chest when you had been called into the small conference room disappear.

You had utterly and truly freaked out at the idea of explaining to Tony Stark and his PR why did every tabloid and some newspaper too now – only a day after, less than 24 hours in fact – thought that you were Steve’s girlfriend. One of the reasons being that you were not running in the same circles as the Iron Man, not really knowing him, another one that at some point you would have to admit how stupid it all was, because hello? You were no one special. How had they even drawn a conclusion like that?

Eyeing the photo, you were reminded exactly how.

Steve could apparently be very tender when he wanted to, which was by some miracle visible in the photo and in return, you might have been looking at him like he was the eighth wonder of the world. In addition, he had a teeny-tiny soft smile on his lips and the way his brows knitted in concern was not helping the whole situation.

Speaking of Steve’s tender fingers, they were connected to a large hand, to an impressive forearm and a massive bicep you had possibly dreamt about last night-

“Well, normally I’d say don’t tell me, tell the PR,” Tony smirked shortly and sighed. “But…”

Uh-oh. You did not like the ‘but’. What did the ‘but’ mean?

“…but this in fact might be a blessing,” Natasha finished, resigning to her posture of a disappointed mum and relaxing.

Huh?

You were confused to no end by their cryptic talk. Shooting Steve a look, you were slightly relieved to see that he seemed to share the sentiment.

He was also apparently at loss of words.

So were you, but you managed to stutter out two: “…what? How?”

Tony grimaced and with a motion of his hand, ten different faces, five different men and five women, each in an individual frame, paired up as the line of men was on top (rude) and the women below them, appeared in the hologram, replacing the infamous photo evidence of your supposed relationship with Steve.

You still didn’t understand. And what Tony Stark said next didn’t help either.

“Because we need your help.”

Part 2

‘I solemnly swear I’ll work on that fic I’ve been promising to finish for ages.’

Eh, failed again.

For some reason, Smallville popped up in my mind recently (I blame Tom Welling’s cameo in the mega DC crossover). This fic is inspired by episode 8x05 ‘Committed’, if it means anything to anyone :D

Also, fake dating was on my non-existent to-do writing list.

Enjoy and leave feedback if you’re willing :-P

Tags:

@mermaidxatxheart​

If anyone wishes to be added or removed from the tags, let me know, it’s no trouble.

[imaginedigimon]

Im back on my kenkeru bs and im very sory for it. Can you imagine the disaster that would be Davis and kari wing-maning for Ken and Tk respectively because im imaginging the distasters these two would end up getting their bffs into lol. -Cute Anon

How dare you apologize when you’re the one who got me on this Kenkeru BS in the first place

And I am all for this

Wingmen & Wingwomen

(They’re Horrible at What They Do)

“T.K. I’m gonna do it.” Kari had that look on her face, the one that told T.K. she was long since past the point of no return.

“Kari, NO--”

It was too late, though.

At the exact same time, Davis was looking back and forth between Ken and T.K. with narrowed eyes. The gears were certainly turning, though it was really unclear how fast or slow they were going.

“I’m gonna talk you up,” he finally said.

“Davis, NO--”

He was too late. Davis was making his way over to T.K.

This was a veritable disaster.

Kari, meanwhile, was bolder than Davis. She approached, leaning her elbow on Ken’s shoulder, and asked bluntly, “So when you are you gonna kiss T.K.?”

“What.” Ken was... horrified? Stupefied? Shocked? One of those. His genius brain was not computing any of this. He couldn't even put a question mark on the end of his confusion.

T.K. wasn’t faring much better. The moment he saw Davis walking toward him, he was expecting trouble.

“Ken’s a great guy, T.A.”

Huh?

Normally, the failure to say his actual name was amusing, but this was just confusing. He already knew Ken was a great guy...? What was going on?

Wait, both Ken and T.K. realized. Are they... doing the wingman thing?

“I’m just saying, you know,” Davis continued, “that he’s really smart, great at soccer, has that awesome hair. Any guy would be lucky to have him.” Though his voice sounded smooth, the completely out-of-context nature of this entire conversation made T.K. want to laugh. How things had changed between him and Davis since that first day.

Kari was a little more forward. “I’m just saying, you two would be really cute. I mean, can you imagine all the cool hats he’d find for you? If you don’t kiss him soon, you might miss out on that, Ken.”

Ken really wasn’t sure how to proceed with this. Also, why was Kari so insistent on kissing as the first step?

Ken and T.K. caught each other’s eyes across the sea-like expanse that was their respective best friends. T.K. raised his eyebrows, while Ken widened his eyes in a gesture that clearly meant, “Get me out of here!”

This would not be the first time Kari and Davis would pull these stunts, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last. However, this would be an anecdote of great amusement in the future, once T.K. and Ken had gotten over how dumb their friends had been about it.

This time, however, the two boys did what only true men do when faced with wingmen (or wingwomen, in Kari’s case).

They got the hell out of there.

---------

Okay obviously that wasn’t a full scope of what happens when Kari and Davis pull these stunts. So here’s some bonus headcanons of other stuff that’s happened:

The four of them have gone to baseball games where Kari and Davis ask the Couple Cam guys (or whatever it’s called) to zoom in on T.K. and Ken, who end up glaring behind them at their friends instead of kissing like the stadium’s asking them to

Kari takes T.K. to Ken’s soccer games and says shit like “blow him a kiss” and T.K. gets embarrassed because she SCREAMS it, and Ken gets distracted and misses the goal

Kari and Davis spy on their dates and it causes much disaster

It’s really reached a point where T.K. and Ken need disguises to even hang out together

Matt helps them with that (Tai’s an awful wingman)

And there we are! xD

[guessmonsta]

Kuroo x Reader- Wingman

Inconsistency is key. Everything I write is for my dear friend Emily. Anyway, here’s some fun, low-key raunchy, high-key reference-y Kuroo content for everyone in quarantine rn. Stay safe and wash your hands <3

Kuroo was, at some point tonight, going to lose his mind. 

He knew showing up to Bokuto’s stupid little “house party” was going to get him in trouble one way or another. By “house party”, Bokuto meant he was going to try to cram the volleyball team starters, his roommates basketball friends, a couple of girls, and miscellaneous friends on the side into his college campus dorm room. 

It ideally didn’t sound like much fun, but he was going to take whatever chance he got to get out of his dorm. As much as Kuroo got out in high school, in college he felt bound to chemistry textbooks and volleyball practice. He liked to joke around with his friends and say it wasn’t easy being smart, athletic, and sexy, but there really wasn’t anything sexy about under eye bags and lab goggles. 

He usually showed up to Bokuto’s dorm before anyone else did. His roommate was out of town, so it was just some volleyball guys and a few others for the night. Kuroo didn’t really mind, the basketball guys were too much to handle for him right now, anyway. A cluster headache started forming behind his right eye, and he must’ve made a stank face, because Bokuto started stifling laughter from the bed across the room. 

“Do you have to go take a shit or something?” He asked, picking up a pillow from the bed and chucking it at Kuroo’s head. 

“Nah. I’m just starting to think I peaked in high school.” 

“See? This is why you should’ve majored in business like me. I keep it cool, I keep it classy. I focus on three things, volleyball, whatever business majors do, and boobs.” Bokuto made a gesture as if he was flipping hair over his shoulder. Kuroo shook his head. 

“When I come up with a cure for stupidity twenty years down the line, you’re not getting any of it.” Kuroo stuck his tongue out, and Bokuto feigned shock. 

“I thought we were bros.” 

“Bros support bros. And you’ve gotta support me through fucking-” Kuroo took a deep sigh then exhaled, “Chemistry-y.” 

“Hey listen, you sound like a big major bum right now and it’s making me wanna hit you with another pillow.” 

“Do it, I dare you.” Kuroo grabbed the pillow previously thrown at his head, and spiked it back over at Bokuto, who dodged it. 

“I’ve got some cool people coming over though.” Bokuto exclaimed while contemplating on throwing the pillow back.

“Oh, like the guy who chugged three beers in a row last time and puked all over that one girls lap? And you had to calm her down from crying because All Star started playing from Shrek on the TV and we all were holding back laughter so she wouldn’t cry harder?” 

Bokuto made a face of disgust in response. “Absolutely not. It’s just gonna be me, you, Tendou ‘cause he’s got the goods, Ushijima ‘cause he makes me think god might just be a man, Yukie ‘cause she makes me remember god is actually a woman, a couple of Yukie’s girl friends ‘cause girl power, and __ too ‘cause she didn’t come last time and I miss her.” 

__ was Kuroo and Bokuto’s mutual friend they met in their first semester of college. She sat with them during their freshman orientation course, and they hit it off from there. She was a funny thing, always had bright eyes and a smile on her face. Kuroo noticed his cluster headache wasn’t as bad as he previously thought. 

There was definitely something about her that made Kuroo wish he had time for a serious relationship. Even then, he would make all the time in the world for her if he really could. He hadn’t seen her for a couple months- his only contact with her was sharing memes back and forth on Instagram. The thought of seeing her again made something flutter in his stomach. 

“Oh wait.” Bokuto must have noticed the look on Kuroo’s face, because he started laughing. “O-oh man I forgot you had a thing for __!” 

“I haven’t seen her in forever bro.” Kuroo looked up at Bokuto and fake pouted his lower lip. “Like if I could make that one puppy eye emoji face in real life I would do it.” 

“Awh, does somebody have a cwush?” Bokuto teased in a baby voice. 

“Yes.” He replied, in the same fashion. Then a smile extended on his face. 

“Du-ude if you told me __ was coming over I would’ve made myself look nicer. I’ve been wearing the same gray joggers for like, three days.” 

“College do be doing that to you, doe.” Bokuto got up, then flopped on the couch next to Kuroo. “Listen though, I’m your number one wing man. I gotchu.” 

“Do you mean that, bro?”

“Always, bro.” 

Without knocking, Tendou burst through the dorm door, holding a big brown bag of god knows what under his arm. 

“Your king has arrived.” He announced, and Ushijima awkwardly followed in behind him, muttering a respectful, “hello.” 

“I’m sorry, did I walk in on something… intimate?” Tendou glanced over at Kuroo and Bokuto, who were sitting closely together on the couch. 

“No bro, we’re just two bros, sitting on a dorm couch, one inch apart cause we’re comfortable with our sexuality.” Kuroo winked, and Tendou clutched at his heart in mock embarrassment. 

Yukie and her friends followed soon after, all carrying different bags of chips. 

“Just so y’all know.” Yukie announced, “All this food? It’s mine. None of you can touch it.” 

“Would you trade the bag of popcorn for a brownie?” Tendou winked. Yukie tilted her head, and nodded slightly. 

“I’ll see. Our offer still stands.” 

Another widespread conversation started, something about which movie to watch this time, or something along the lines of that. He heard “Bee Movie” and “Shrek 2”, but nothing more. All he could really think about was when __ was going to show up. He felt stupid for feeling nervous about seeing her again, especially when they were always so comfortable with each other. He had to stretch to try to calm the butterflies down in his stomach. 

Then there was a knock at the door. Bokuto quickly kicked him in the shin as a sign to stand up and get the door. Kuroo shot him a look, to which he only stuck his tongue out. Why the hell did he feel nervous getting the door for her? As far as he knew, they were only friends, just buddies, just bros. But god, even if he was dying to see her, he was sure hesitant to open that door. 

One he did, he was met with a bright smile and a playful punch to the forearm. 

“Aye!” She exclaimed, quick to then pull him into a quick hug. “I haven’t seen you in forever!” 

“I know! What happened, __? What have you been up to?” Kuroo was almost hesitant to hug her back, but allowed himself to for it. His hand creeped into her hair and he allowed himself to exhale deeply. Whatever was remaining of his headache from before vanished. 

“Man, it’s been the absolute pits. I’ve been swamped with work ‘cause of the new semester.” 

“Well, I’ve-” Kuroo caught himself quick before he could continue. “Bokuto and I have missed you a lot.” 

“Awh, really?” She chuckled. “I missed your dumbasses too.” 

She set her jacket down by everyone else’s, then was quick to take a seat next to Bokuto, who already pulled her into a hug and ruffled her hair. He was saying something to her, but Kuroo didn’t hear it. There was a quiet white static in the back of his mind that was dragging him in and out of reality. “The Road To El Dorado” was playing on TV. Who’s executive decision was this, again? 

Kuroo sat down next to __, and Tendou and two of Yukie’s friends sat down too. The couch was definitely too small for six people, but somehow they were making it work. Tendou was pretty much half a person, anyway. But what Tendou didn’t have, Bokuto definitely made up for.  Kuroo then noticed that he was right up against __’s body, and it took a lot of power in him to keep his cool. She had really nice thighs, really nice thighs that were touching his. He wondered if she knew that, that she had nice thighs. It was definitely a terrible day to be wearing gray joggers. 

Kuroo then quickly assessed the situation in his head. On one side of him, there was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. She was dressed in this cute little oversized sweater and she smelled like a mix of pretty girl and coffee shop. On the other side of him, was Tendou, who didn’t nearly have half the sex appeal as __, so it was a conflicting situation for Kuroo for sure. 

“To pop a boner, or to not pop a boner, that is the question.” Kuroo thought to himself, then immediately made a face at his own thought. “Tetsurou, you’re so weird. You’re acting so weird right now.” 

Kuroo then looked over at __, who was now watching the movie with what seemed like half interest, half confusion. 

She really did look like an angel. 

“Tetsurou, do you hear yourself? Do you even hear yourself?” 

She then leaned her head against his arm, and he heard Bokuto snicker quietly, and shoot him a look. He could see his face out of the corner of his eyes, but refused to look over at him. 

“Oh my god, Tetsurou, you’re gonna pop a boner. You’re gonna pop a boner because she’s touching you and she’s so pretty- Do I go to the bathroom? Should we go to the bathroom?” 

Kuroo noticed her look up at him, and he was quick to catch her eye. 

“Is this bothering you?” She muttered. 

“Nah.” He smiled. “I get it, chicks dig these volleyball arms.” 

__ giggled quietly, and her attention was directed back to the movie. 

“Chicks dig these volleyball arms? Are you KIDDING me right now?” 

A couple more minutes passed in silence. There was a quiet mumbled conversation between Tendou and Yukie about those brownies, but Kuroo toned it out quickly. Suddenly, __ announced. 

“Y’all know what? Honestly? Tulio could get it.” 

Kuroo watched as Bokuto quickly shifted, and cleared his throat to reply, 

“Don’t you think Tulio kinda looks like Kuroo?” 

__ lifted her head up from Kuroo’s shoulder and looked at him, to which he tried to hold back a smile. Bokuto might not have been the smoothest wingman, but he made it work. 

“Oh shit, you’re right. I can see it.” 

Kuroo then sat there, saying absolutely nothing. He knew if he said something his voice would probably crack. There was nothing sexy at all about being related to a cartoon character, but it was kind of sexy that she said that he looked like a cartoon character that could get it. In some fragment of his mind, he started thinking about how she could totally get it. One of his arms slowly and inconspicuously fell between his legs. With the other, he flashed a quick peace sign and made a kissy face. 

Oh my god, he was gonna die tonight.

“__, do you think Kuroo could get it too?”

“I, for one, definitely think Kuroo could get it.” Tendou announced. Well, there goes his pants issue. 

“Thank you, bro.” Kuroo managed to spit out. 

“Kuroo could get it.” Ushijima muttered from the ground, which was the most anyone had gotten out of him all night. 

“I dunno, he’s not my type. But in the perfect world he could get it.” Yukie laughed.

“I mean shit.” __ shrugged. He wasn’t sure if it was from the lighting, or what, but Kuroo noticed her face flush red. “Yeah Kuroo could get it.” 

And pants. 

There was a wavering silence for another half hour. He was still hyper aware of her leg touching his, and every other minute detail about his setting, despite the movie. What was the movie even about, anyway?  It was about halfway through, then __ announced, 

“I have to go pee.” 

“Thank you.” Bokuto muttered in reply. 

As she stood up, Kuroo found himself grabbing her hand. 

“Hey, lemme go with you.”

“To… to pee?”

“No this, this is a guys dorm. You don’t wanna get lost going down to the general bathrooms and get caught by somebody.” Kuroo stammered slightly, but followed her out of the room. “You never know what kind of guys there are out there.”

“Awh, are you protecting me?” She cooed, bumping into his side lightly.

“Yeah. I am.” He shot her a quick smile, then looked away. His heart was pounding in his chest. This was the perfect opportunity to back her up against the wall and just kiss her, or something, but he couldn't find it in him to do it. 

People always liked to say he was the sexy friend. The attractive friend. The lady killer. The sex god. He had absolutely none of that, and it showed. 

“Hey, uhm, I hope you didn’t think it was weird when I said you could get it.” 

“Hey, hey, no offense taken.” He chuckled. “I’m just offended you weren’t serious.” 

The moment he said that, he quickly regretted it. She started laughing, but was quick to stop. 

“Wait, are you serious?” 

Kuroo then stopped walking and sighed, almost dramatically. 

“Listen.” 

“Listening.” 

He noticed her clasp her hands together underneath her baggy sweater sleeves. He inhaled sharply, then exhaled. 

“You’re really important to me. As a friend and as a human being.” Kuroo watched her sniffle, and her face go red. “I would use a stupid pickup line on you right now but I’m way too nervous. I really like you, __.” 

He watched a goofy smile spread across her cheeks. Her face only got redder as she looked down at her feet, then back up at him. 

“I never knew if you liked me or not cause you jokingly hit on everyone.” She smiled. “I like you too. I thought I made it pretty obvious.” 

“Oh my god, come here.” Kuroo then scooped her up in a hug, and placed a soft, tentative kiss on her lips. She stumbled a little bit, and he backed her up against the wall. He pulled away for a brief second to chuckle, then kissed her again, his heart slamming against his rib cage. He couldn't believe he actually did it, after all this time of pinning and waiting over her texts- 

__ then pulled away, but not before planting a soft kiss on his nose. 

“I like this a lot, Kuroo, but I still have to pee.” 

[originaldanganronpascenarios]

Can I request an oumaede/amacha scenario? So basically both ouma and tenko are aliens and they dropped down in earth by accident Ouma is a very serious alien and Tenko is a bubbly one They disguise themselves and then they meet Amami and Kaede. Ouma is very suspicious of them at first since THEY made tons of movies killing aliens that look like him, while tenko thinks their adorable. Sorry for disturbing u!!

Amacha??? You mean ship I wish I could write for more often??

Alien! Kokichi and Tenko fall for Kaede and Rantaro (Amacha, Oumaede)

Tenko was real mad right now. Becouse Kokichi was being annoying little shit who got her in trouble they had to face their punishment. Wich was sending them on earth.

For Tenko it was more of a prize since she was really curious about humans and she was actually happy to be able to live with them.

Kokichi on the other hand wasn't so happy about it... He thought humans were boring and predictable. But messing with some might be fun.

Still when they were traveling Tenko was mad at him and the two argued almost entire ride. Wich caused them to crash "Great Tenko now we won't be able to come back home" to wich she just scoffed "uh please if you just apologize to general and we'll be back home if you want it so much! Now turn on your disguise or we will have even bigger trouble" she said as she started covering the ship.

"Whatever I'll just go since it's no use to talk to you" before he could go she grabbed his hand "The hell like you will. We don't want anyone investing our ship" he tried to get away "Geez why your grip is so tight. Fine I'll do it" the two managed to perfectly cover their ship.

They were trying to find their way towards the town and Kokichi was a bit whiny about it. He was tired.

They saw few humans but neither of them interacted with anyone. The thing is both Tenko and Kokichi were covered in dirt and looked a little bit beat up.

So as soon as Kaede and Rantaro noticed them they approached them. The sudden kindness stunned Tenko while to Kokichi was suspicious.

She gladly accepted their help and Kokichi followed but he was full on guard.

It all was tricky when Kaede asked "So what happened to you two? Should we call somewhere or give you a ride?" Tenko didn't knew how to respond to this but luckily Kokichi was there to cover them "We ran away. I rather not get into details but we pretty much don't have anywhere to go" his voice was super convincing.

So they decided to leave it be and don't ask any further questions.

Rantaro had an idea "You two can stay at our place at least until you'll find your place" it was a bit risky but they looked like they escaped from tough situation not some kind of jail.

They had one free room but hell like Tenko whould share a room with Kokichi. So she decided to sleep on the couch. Not like she complained about it.

Kaede was really curious about the two so she decided to have a movie night together.

It all went good until it was the alien movies. Kokichi felt lowkey scared. He knew it wasn't any real but he just thought that he (and Tenko) might get killed here second they whould be found out...

Oumaede part

After almost a month nothing changed and she knew that something was definitely wrong with him. So she asked if he was feeling alright. If he didn't answer she whouldn't mind it much after all it could be linked to what he escaped from.

He lied "Aw man it really took you long to see that your guest feels bad you are a terrible host but I forgive you" he laughed at the end wich made Kaede think that she just was imagining things.

One day when Kokichi yet again locked himself in the guest room he heard very calming music. So he went towards source of the noise.

It was Kaede’s room so he knocked on the door and she let him inside. Even though he was here for a while he never heard her play and asked if she could play it again.

Smiling at him Kaede played yet again. The tune was very similar to one song from his planet it was different but similar.

Kokichi didn't even realize that he was starting at Kaede. She looked so peaceful while playing and her smile was beautiful.

"I whould never guess that you liked classic music! You looked almost hypnotized!" her comment brought his mind back on earth "Wow you are so mean! Judging me while you don't know anything about me"

Instead of getting defensive she just laughs "You really are something Kokichi" he didn't understand what he was feeling at this point.

The two of them hang out a bit more often ever since. The thing is... He kept lying to her.

I mean he just couldn't tell her the truth she whouldn't believe him either way.

Amacha part

Tenko didn't trust Rantaro as much as she trusted Kaede but she gave him a chance. But she still wasn't letting her guard down around him.

The movie didn't change the way she acted around them however. She found it pretty funny that humans came up with similar kind to hers but it was just ways weaker.

But there was one thing she couldn't deny no matter how much she'd like to... Rantaro was pretty cute. 

Of course she didn't wanted to be a burden so she tried to find a job and earn money but it wasn't as easy for her since she didn't had much knowledge about humanity.

He saw how much she was trying and one day when she came back she got really upset that she couldn't find job of any kind...

When she sat down Rantaro asked her "Do you want some tea? It might help you relax" she noded so he headed towards the kitchen.

When he got her tea ready he sat down next to her "You know you don't have to rush with things right?" she turned towards him "I know but I don't want to be a burden to you and Kaede" it was what she honestly thought.

Rantaro smiled at her "Tenko you are far from a burden" this made her a bit flustered "Y-you really think so?"

His smile got wider "I know so. Now drink your tea before it gets too cold" just now Tenko noticed how Rantaro was nice to her all this time and she felt like a fool for finding him tiny bit suspicious.

After that around him she felt safe and for a while she forgot that she wasn't human.

Ending 1- They stay on earth

It was now three months and Tenko had very serious conversation with Kokichi but she made triple sure nobody heard it "I know this is going to sound wierd but please let's stay here".

Kokichi thought for a while and he knew he'd miss this place more than home so he agreed much to Tenko's surprise.

I mean they both did great on earth Tenko found a job (with Rantaro's help) but they just all decided to stay roommates. 

But they couldn't lie to their partners forever... So one day Kokichi and Tenko said that had something very important to say "You see... We are aliens. I know you probably won't believe us but it's the truth" Tenko said being quite afraid of how they whould react.

There was a moment of silence... This moment drove Kokichi insane "If you don't believe us then..." he took off his disguise wich was followed by Tenko doing the same. It made both of them feel shocked.

"Wow I never knew that aliens were actually real... But don't worry we will keep this secret" Rantaro gave Tenko thumbs up and Kaede noded "It kinda explains some things. But I'm pretty excited! I never expected to meet real alien!" she smiled.

And it was just as Rantaro said. Their secret wasn't revealed and the two were safe.

After some time Kokichi realized that he fell for Kaede and he didn't hesitate to tell her how he felt even though he was afraid. But it all worked out in the end.

In Tenko and Rantaro's case it was a bit difficult but Kaede did great job as a wingman and they made it.

Ending 2- they come back home

Kokichi noticed his feelings for Kaede and he didn't knew what to do. He thought it was bad that he felt the way he did so he told Tenko "I'm contacting general and I will apologize for what I did we just can't stay here any longer" she was shocked.

"WHAT!? WHY!?" she yelled at him. And he rolled his eyes "Becouse humans are dangerous and even though they helped us who knows what they are going to do if we tell them the truth!? We might end up just like the ones in that stupid movie"

She was angry at this point "You want us to go back over a godamn movie!?".

"Tenko we don't belong here you idiot! Say goodbye to these two and let me handle the rest"

She knew that she whouldn't have any choice so she agreed.

The story Kokichi came up with was that a relative of his was chasing them both and he saw that relative around.

So Kokichi and Tenko had to run away in order to not he found. Of course Kaede said that she could call the police but Kokichi told her that it was no use and they tried to seek help there.

Rantaro and Kaede understood and they gave them a ride so they could continue running. They never saw each other again...

~Mod Angie