#Williams I will always hate you for taking his JOY

[aaron04jpg]

“Very different environment than I’m used to”

[something-tofightfor]

A Wonderful, Awful Idea / 1

Pairing: Pero Tovar x Female Reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 10,196

Summary: Since meeting Pero Tovar through your friends William and Lin, you've wanted - and tried to get to know him. But he's always been less than enthusiastic about making it happen.

This Christmas, thanks to an assignment Pero and William take... everything changes.

Rating: M: language.

Author's Note:

I decided to write this last week and have worked on very little else since. I've always wanted to write for Pero, but have been really nervous to do so. He seemed like the perfect Christmas Grump to get the "discovering the true joy of the season" Hallmark-ish treatment. @oonajaeadira says that if he doesn't fight you the whole way when you try to write him, you're doing it wrong - and let me tell you, he's been a menace, so ... we'll see.

There are going to be three parts to this. The second is almost completely written, and the 3rd should be close behind. I'm sorry it won't be done by Christmas like I planned, but it is what it is.

The title comes from Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Thank you for reading, and happy holidays!

*dividers by @/strangergraphics

“You want me to what?” You froze with one hand on a hanger, turning your head to look at your friend. “Repeat that, please.” 

“I think you should be Tovar’s date for the holidays.” Lin shrugged her shoulders, flipping through a rack of long sleeve, button down shirts. “He’s single and you’re single, you’ve said you think he’s hot, and you know what they do, so he wouldn’t have to lie about it.” 

You stared at her, dumbfounded, as Holly Jolly Christmas blared out through the store’s sound system. There’s more to it. “Tell me the truth.” You set the hanger back on the rack, stepping closer and crossing your arms. “Why does he need a date? Isn’t his work … private? Like, they’re not exactly supposed to be in the public eye, or -”

“That I can’t tell you. You’d have to talk to William about it.” She sighed, finally looking over at you. “But what I can tell you, is that I’ve been listening to my husband complain for a week that none of the women he’s reached out to will agree to do it because his best friend is kind of a grump.” 

“So why would I?” You scoffed. “Tovar is … I think we’ve spoken about twenty words to each other in the three years I’ve known you. He isn’t exactly friendly, Lin. Why would I want to spend the holiday season with someone that hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t really hate anyone, he just doesn’t trust people, and doesn’t know how to … be gentle about saying it.” She held up a dark blue shirt, arching a brow. “How’s this one for William?” 

“It’s a good color.” You sighed. “I think he’ll like it.” She beamed at you, draping the fabric over her arm. “Lin, this thing with Tovar, what is it? Really, I mean. Why are you suggesting this?” 

“Because you’re both my friends. And I think it would be good for you.” She moved closer, reaching over to take your arm. “And good for him, too. He’s like that movie, the one with the Grinch?” You laughed at that, and she joined you, her fingers curling against your sleeve. “He just needs to find a reason to soften up.” 

Two days later, you were sitting in Willam and Lin’s lavishly decorated living room, waiting for him to come downstairs and talk to you. It’s just curiosity. You looked around the room, eyes lingering on pictures of you with the two of them, reminders of memories you’d made together on vacations and at parties. I just want to know what this is about. 

And when you found one that included Tovar, too, you lingered there, frowning slightly as you chewed on the inside of your lower lip. “Nobody should look that upset sitting in front of a Christmas tree.” William stepped into the room, holding two mugs in his hands. “Lin said you’d drink this.” He set one down in front of you and then sat on the chair next to the couch you were on. “Thank you for coming over.” 

“No problem.” Sighing, you reached for the mug and lifted it to your lips. He did the same, and then for a few seconds, William just watched you, a thoughtful expression on his face. I don’t like that look. “What’s this about?”

“To make a long story short,” he started, one side of his mouth twisted upward into a smile. “Tovar and I have a client for almost the entire holiday season that needs … extra protection.” That wasn’t a shock; they were in private security, and commonly took on high profile clients. “She’s got her own team, but they want local backup. Tovar and I will provide that, but to do so, and to make it look less… well.” He rolled his eyes. “Less like she’s got a ton of people surrounding her at all times and more like he’s here celebrating the holiday, the plan is for us to attend the same events like we’re guests. That way we can be there if necessary.” 

“Is Lin going with you?” He nodded. “Won’t you be distracted by her?”

“Yes and no.” He leaned in, linking his fingers together. “We’re supposed to blend in, but we’ll be connected to the main team at all times with earpieces.” He wet his lips. “Unless we’re actually needed, we’ve just got to be on-site.” It didn’t sound terrible, and you assumed that if the client was famous, the events would be fun - and probably have good food. “You would be there to keep him occupied. You’d be there to make it look like he wasn’t just hanging around and waiting for something terrible to happen.”

“As his date.” William nodded twice, eyes locked with yours. “Does he know about this?”

“Yes.” William blinked. “Lin suggested you last weekend as a joke, and he didn’t … he didn’t react the way that he has to other people’s names.” What? That made no sense to you. We’ve barely spoken. He’s never gone out of his way to talk to me. “It’s a paying job, of course. And it pays well, since it requires an NDA and multiple nights. I’ve drawn up the contract for you to take a look at. It’s standard, and what we’ve offered to other people in your position, but you can tell me what you think.” 

He shuffled a few of the papers on the table in front of you and then pushed a small stack at you, gesturing with one hand. He had it waiting? 

William stood, letting you know that he’d give you a few minutes to read over it in case you had any questions, and then left you alone in the room. “What the fuck?” You stared at the tree for a few seconds, thinking… and then picked up the contract and began to read. 

When William came back into the room about fifteen minutes later, you’d pulled a pen from your bag and made notes on the papers, crossing things out and jotting down a few ideas. “I see you’re making changes.” He laughed, settling back into the chair. “Does that mean you’re interested?” 

“Only if they can be accommodated.” You handed over the contract and leaned back, taking a deep breath. “The timing of the events means I wouldn’t have to miss work to attend them, so there aren’t lost wages to make up for.” He nodded. “I’ll sign the NDA, but there’s no way I can accept the amount in there. That would make me feel like you were paying me to spend time with Tovar, and I don’t like the implication of that.” 

William raised his head to look at you and you were surprised to see an alarmed glint in his eyes. “That’s not what it is. You’d be paid for spending part of your day working, not just for -”

“I’ll accept payment in the amount of whatever costs I accrue for the job.” You held up a finger. “Clothes, shoes, transportation, if I needed to get my hair done or anything like that. If I had to make a donation to get into the party, I assume that it’d be a substantial amount that I’d rather not be out, but …” You swallowed, thinking of Tovar’s dark eyes. “Spending time with him isn’t something you need to pay me for, William. My pay can be TBD based on what I have to spend in order to meet the parameters of the job.” 

“Of course.” He kept looking through, and then laughed when he got to the end, where you’d scribbled a longer note. “Unfortunately I don’t think I can meet that request. You’d have to talk to Tovar about that.”

“I know. It’s just …” You looked down, picking at the cushion of the couch with one hand. “I just don’t know how we’re supposed to play it off like we’re dating if he won’t speak to me, William. I can only pretend so much when the other person acts like they’d rather be anywhere else.”  

“I’ve offered this job to two women already.” He set the papers down and reached up to rub at his jawline. “And they’ve both said no, because the amount I offered wasn’t worth it to have to deal with his moods.” He cocked his head to the side. “And you … are offering to do it for less, but only if I can promise he won’t scowl the entire time.”

“I am.” You gestured to the one of the pictures of the three of them. “There’s got to be more to him than that. I can see it in pictures and I’ve heard him laugh, William. I know it’s in there. Maybe it just needs an opportunity to come out.”

“It does.” He leaned forward, reaching out to set a hand on your knee. “He’s my best friend, and he’s been through a lot. I don’t blame him for a lot of his behavior, and I don’t think others would if he let them get to know him.” William sighed. “I’ll make the changes you’ve requested, and email you the new one to sign virtually. The NDAs will be signed as soon as the client gets here. But… how would you feel about meeting with us and Tovar for dinner?” 

“Why?” William raised both eyebrows, staring at you. “When?”

“Tomorrow? We’ve got plans already, and you’re more than welcome to come.” 

There was no reason for you to say no. You’d have to spend at least three nights with him throughout the course of the contract, and starting early - on a night with nothing to lose - would possibly help the two of you become more comfortable around each other. And I’d like that. “What time and where?” 

“I’ll have Lin text you.” He leaned back, tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair. “Excellent.” 

“Wait. William.” You released a slow breath, closing your eyes. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell him that you’ve already asked me. You know I said yes. But I think … it might be better if it seems like it’s a spur of the moment thing. That way I can see if … how he reacts when I’m right there.” He watched you for a few seconds, and you saw him narrow his eyes, lips turned down into a slight frown. 

“That might be a good idea.” He cleared his throat. “Ok. That’s what we’ll do.” 

The restaurant that you met them at the following day was nothing special; just a local place that had - according to almost everyone that had eaten them - the best chicken wings in the city, and some of the coldest beer to go with them. 

But when you pulled the door open to step inside, you learned something else: they’d turned the interior into a winter wonderland for the holiday, complete with fake snow and hundreds of twinkling lights hanging from almost every available surface. Oh, he’s going to hate this. 

You found the table immediately, and were thankful to see that Lin and William were sitting across from each other, leaving the other two seats at the table open. She waved you over, and when you lowered yourself into the chair beside her, she reached over to squeeze your hand, giggling as she did. “I thought you weren’t going to come.” 

“I said I’d be here.” You said hello to William, too, and then gestured to the empty chair next to him. “Where’s -”

“He got a phone call.” William rolled his eyes. “He went to take it in his car.” It gave you a few minutes to prepare for Tovar’s entrance, and as you and the Garins looked over the menu and made small talk, you were thankful for it. 

The truth was that Tovar’s behavior toward you had always bothered you. 

Not because it made you angry, but because it was frustrating. You’d never given him any reason to avoid you, and had been nothing but nice to him since the first day you’d met. You understood that it wasn’t just you; he took a long time to warm up - even slightly - to anyone. While his personality was likely beneficial to the work he did, giving clients reassurance that he was focused on the job and didn’t allow distractions, it wasn’t as helpful in everyday life. And it can’t be good for his love life.

So when you knew that the two of you would be somewhere together, you needed time to prepare, because you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that it bothered you that he didn’t ever give you a chance. You didn’t expect to become best friends, but it would have been nice to be able to hold an actual conversation with him that didn’t feel like pulling teeth to get responses. 

You felt him before you saw him, his presence almost imposing as he approached the table and walked next to you to reach his seat. Even though William was still talking, your attention shifted. 

He wasn’t scowling when he dropped into the chair, but his face was impassive, his dark eyes darting around the room before they landed on your face - and then kept moving. ��Phone call go alright, Tovar?”

“Yes.” He nodded, shrugging a shoulder at William. “Just business. They wanted to talk about the new client.” 

William hummed but didn’t say anything else, instead reaching for the menu in front of him and opening it. To your surprise, Tovar pushed one of the two laminated pieces of paper toward you before picking his own up, though he didn’t make eye contact again. You felt Lin’s foot knock into yours and fought back the roll of your eyes - but the truth was that the single, simple gesture was enough to make you think back to what both she and William had said earlier. Maybe he doesn’t hate me. 

After the waitress took your order and brought out a round of drinks, conversation began again. At least for three of us. Tovar silently watched the rest of you talk to each other, two fingers tapping against the tabletop. There were a few moments where it seemed like he wanted to interject, but it wasn’t until Lin spoke to him directly that you heard his voice again. 

“Did you find anyone to come to the party with you, Tovar?” She rested her chin on her hand, her attention fully on him. “William said -”

“No.” He sipped his drink, brow furrowed. “I am going alone.” He spoke with an accent, each word punctuated with purpose. “Maybe I will be a third wheel for you two.” Did he make a joke? You couldn’t believe it, but when Pero continued speaking, you felt your eyes widen. He did. “I can spike the punch, or -”

“You know, there’s an obvious solution to you taking a date. We talked about it last weekend.” William turned slightly in his seat, gesturing at you with one hand. “I think all you’d have to do is ask.” The shift in conversation took you by surprise, but you figured there was no point in putting it off. Here goes nothing. 

“You do realize I’m right here, William?” He winked at you and then laughed, holding both hands out. “Is there a party I don’t know about, Tovar?” When you said his name, his gaze shifted to you, and instead of looking away immediately, he maintained eye contact. Oh. “Don’t let him put you on the spot.” Smiling at him, you reached for your cup again. “But -”

“For work.” He nodded once, and you caught the tightening in his jaw. “The client I mentioned earlier.” It was a start - full sentences were a change of pace, and you felt a shiver of excitement at the way he was looking at you; like he was actually seeing you for the first time. “William and Lin want me to take someone, but I have found no one to ask.” 

You focused on his lips as he spoke, the sound of his voice soothing. You liked hearing it - liked the cadence of it, and the sincerity in his tone. Maybe it’s a good thing he’s never talked to me before. “When is it?” 

“Christmas Eve.” Lin cut in, resting her hand on your arm. “And it’s really fancy. But there’s other stuff before then, too. The client they’re talking about, she -”

“She cannot know.” Tovar leaned forward, eyes narrowed. “The more details we give, the more dangerous it -”

“She’s not dangerous.”  Lin exhaled, waving one hand. “And if she goes with you, she’s going to need to know something.” 

“No one’s asked me to go anywhere.” You spoke quietly, looking between the two of them. “But I don’t have plans on Christmas Eve.” You cocked your head to the right, attention back on Tovar. “So maybe I could fourth wheel.” Lin laughed again, but neither Tovar or William spoke up. 

You’d done your part - admitting in a roundabout way that you were open to acting as his date… and it was up to him to decide whether or not he wanted to act on it.  If he didn’t, William would have to go over his head and force the situation, and that was the last thing you wanted. Giving him an option was one thing, but making a choice for Tovar? He’d never speak to me again after that. 

The thought made you uncomfortable, and you hoped that none of them could tell. 

Luckily for you, the food arrived then, giving all four of you a distraction - and William another opportunity to tease Tovar about the amount of wings in front of him. 

“What? I am hungry.” He huffed. “It is not my fault that you didn’t order as many.” That made you chuckle, and you caught the way he looked back at you briefly before you dropped your eyes to your own plate, lips pressed together. “And just so all of you know… I don’t share.” 

You laughed out loud then, looking up and meeting his eyes - and if you weren’t mistaken, you saw the most fleeting hint of a smile on his lips before he reached into the basket, picking up his first piece of chicken.

Maybe there’s hope for this yet. 

All of you walked out into the parking lot together, William and Lin holding hands and you and the other man on either side of them. They veered off to the left after saying goodbye, William catching your eye and mouthing good luck before he turned away… which left you and Tovar alone. 

“I’m parked over that way.” You pointed. “So it -”

“I am too.” He gestured with one hand. “We’ll walk together.” It wasn’t much, but it was a start, and even though neither of you said anything as you approached your car, you noticed that he stayed closer to you than he had been before. “This is your car?” He stopped and pointed. “I remember it from William’s.” 

It stunned you that he’d paid enough attention to what you drove to remember which one was yours in the full lot, but you murmured in agreement, turning so that you could lean against the back end of it. “It is, yeah.” You eyed him, watching as Tovar stuffed his hands into the pockets of his dark gray coat, the ends of his hair blowing slightly in the breeze. “Have a good night, Tovar. Dri-” 

“Did you mean it?” He shifted from one foot to the other, eyes narrowing. “About going to the party?” 

“I did.” You nodded along with your words. “Lin mentioned it to me the other day while we were shopping, she seems excited.” 

“You would go with me?” He inhaled, holding his breath. “And stay with me at the party, like we were -”

“On a date?” You pressed your lips together, watching as he gave a single nod. This is hard for him. “I would. I know it wouldn’t be a real date, but… we could pull it off, Tovar. Especially if you had to do it for work.” 

“There…” He cleared his throat. “There are two other events that I need to be at, too. Would… could you …” He looked down and then away, turning his head to give you a clear view of his profile. You stared at it, trying to memorize the slope of his nose and the line of his jaw, Tovar’s mouth set into a pensive pout. “Lin will be with William, and I am supposed to…” He looked back at you. “Having someone with me would be good.” 

“Yes. On one condition.” 

“Go on.” He inched closer, the surprise evident in his eyes. “Please.” 

“I know you don’t like me much, Tovar, but … if we’re going to multiple places together, and we’re supposed to be together, I’ll need you to pretend like you want to be around me.” You gestured between you with one gloved hand. “This is the longest conversation we’ve ever had, and we met three years ago. I need more of this, and less of your two word responses and you looking like you want to snap at me.” 

“You think I don’t…” He lowered his head and swore, pulling his hands free from his pockets. “Alright. I can do that.” He held out a hand, waiting for you to take it. His fingers closed around yours, Tovar sighing as you shook hands. “And you should call me Pero. Tovar is what William has always called me, but …” He squeezed your hand again and then released it. “That does not sound right for a date.” 

You agreed - and wondered if he could see the surprise in your expression. No one called him by his first name; even Lin referred to him as Tovar. So I wonder why he’s … hmm. “Ok, Pero.” You bit your lip, watching as his cheek twitched at the sound of your voice. “What’s the first thing we need to be at?” 

“There is a charity event next week.” He reached up, rubbing the back of his neck. “And then a concert the week after, and the party on Christmas Eve.” This is spread out, Jesus. “If you give me your phone number, I can send you more information.” 

You agreed and he pulled out his phone, waiting for you to recite the number for him. You felt your phone vibrate a few seconds later as he confirmed that he’d sent you a message, and then Pero sighed, closing his eyes. “Will this make your job easier?”

“Yes.” He pressed his lips together. “And it will get William off my back, too.” You laughed, covering your mouth with one hand as you stared at him. Another joke? “It’s getting late. I should go.” 

It really wasn’t, but you understood that he was trying to end the conversation gracefully, and so you let him, looking down at your bag and digging for your keys. “Goodnight, Pero.” Fingers wrapping around the metal, you raised your gaze again, meeting his eyes. “I’m looking forward to next week.” 

That got you another smile, and it lingered for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and stepped back turning on one heel and heading further down the line of parked cars. He stopped when he was about ten feet away, looking back over his shoulder at you. “You’re wrong, by the way.” About what? He closed his eyes and straightened his shoulders before continuing. “It isn’t that I don’t like you, it’s… more complicated than that.” 

It sucked the breath from you, and all you could do was stare at him. What? Luckily, Pero didn’t say anything else before he resumed the journey to his car, leaving you standing behind yours. What just happened? 

You hurried to the door and then sat down, putting both hands onto the wheel after you started your car, fingers gripping it tightly. You had plenty of questions, and wondered if he’d actually answer any of them. I think he will. I think he… I think he does want to talk. 

You hoped that you were right. Reaching for your phone, you typed out a quick text to William. 

 Send over the new contract. I’ll sign it. He asked me.  

Whatever happened with Pero would likely test not only your patience, but your self control… and you couldn’t wait. 

He texted you a few times throughout the following week, and while the messages weren’t quite friendly, they weren’t cold, either. 

He filled you in on the events, even though the information that William sent over with the contact did, too. 

The first one was casual, a charity fundraiser where the client would be in attendance and raising money for local organizations by hosting an auction and early dinner. 

The second event, the concert, would require you to go to a meet and greet with Pero, that one held in the club level of the venue, followed by attending the actual show as part of the crowd. 

The final event was a party on Christmas Eve, which was meant to welcome a mix of the people that the first two events set out to benefit, as well as higher-end donors and other people of the singer’s status. 

Each of the events was highly publicized, and people in your city had been looking forward to them for weeks, along with the boom in business that people coming in for the events would bring. You felt a surge of pride in the center of your chest that William and Pero had been chosen to act as local security. Even though you knew there wasn’t a high chance of anything happening where they were needed, you were certain that they could meet the challenge if necessary. 

But on the night before the fundraiser, you were anxious about the following day. 

It wasn’t the event, or that you’d be in the presence of a celebrity for a few hours. It was that during those few hours, you’d be one on one with Pero Tovar, trying to pretend like you hadn’t just started speaking actual words to each other. 

So before you could second guess yourself you picked up the phone and dialed his number, pressing the device against your ear as it rang. He answered almost immediately, tone clipped as he said your name. “You are calling to cancel.” 

“No. I… what?” Inhaling through your nose, you whipped your head back and forth, even though he couldn’t see you. “No, I was calling to see if … if you wanted to meet up tonight for an hour so we could talk.” 

“Talk? About what?” 

“About some of the basic things we’d know if we were actually on a date tomorrow.” You bit the inside of your lip. “Nevermind. We’ll just do a crash course before we go in to the fundraiser. Have a -”

“I’ll pick you up.” He coughed, and your mouth dropped open in surprise. “Send me your address.” 

You hung up moments later, typing out the information and pushing send. He replied that it would only take him about 20 minutes to get there, and you nearly dropped your phone. Oh, shit. 

There was no time to get ready - no time to do anything more than brush your teeth and check your clothes to make sure that you looked presentable, and pull on a pair of thick socks before you shoved your feet into boots. He’d taken you by surprise with his suggestion, but you were excited for the opportunity. And if he suggested it, then it means he wants to talk. 

Lights shining in your front window alerted you to Pero’s arrival, and after grabbing your wallet, keys, phone and a coat, you headed out to meet him, hurrying toward the passenger side of his car. 

Before you could touch the handle, the door popped open, and when you pulled it further, you peered in in time to see him sit back up, his right hand returning to the steering wheel. “Hi, Pero.” Climbing in next to him, you turned your head to look at him. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

“Sure.” He nodded, putting the car into reverse once you’d buckled in. “Where would you like to go?” You thought for a few seconds and then decided, hoping it was a good choice. 

“That 24 hour coffee shop would be good. There are tables and no one will bother us.” 

He agreed with a nod of his head, and for the few minutes it took to get there, you and Pero sat in silence. He paid attention to the road and you paid attention to him, watching him out of the corner of your eye as he drove. There was plenty that you wanted to say, but you didn’t want to distract him; it was likely a huge step for him to have invited you out, and you figured he was focused. We’ll talk over coffee. 

The parking lot was full, but he found a spot after only one circle through it. After crossing the parking lot to the entrance, you went to open the door. Pero inched forward and then reached past you, mumbling that he’d get it. Ok. That’s fine with me. You thanked him as you entered, going straight to the line to place your order. 

It didn’t surprise you when Pero ordered a large black coffee, but it did surprise you when he paid for both of your drinks, passing over a handful of cash to the barista and telling him to keep the change. 

And when you led him to a booth in the back, sinking down onto one of the plush cushions after taking your coat off, you waited until he was seated, too, to speak again. “Thank you. You didn’t have to -”

“We are supposed to be dating, right?” He blinked a few times, head shaking back and forth. “It’s just a coffee.” 

He was right - technically - but it was also something that he hadn’t needed to do because that night wasn’t a date. “I don’t want to keep you out late, I just …” 

“What do you want to know about me?” He wrapped both hands around his cup, and your eyes were drawn to them. Tiny scars criss-crossed his skin, the healed areas a slightly lighter shade than the rest of it. “Ask.” 

“When is your birthday?” You led with something simple, taking a sip of your own drink. “What’s your favorite food? Where are you from? Do you like movies or TV, and if you do, what do you watch?” He seemed stunned by your questions, and you wondered what he thought you’d lead with. “We obviously aren’t going to be one of those PDA couples, but is it alright if I touch your hand or your arm or -” 

“My birthday is in June. The 9th.” He narrowed his eyes. “I like all food, but if I had to choose a favorite, it would be sweet things.” 

“Then why did you order your coffee black?” Pointing with one finger, you cut in. “You could have added sugar or caramel or -”

“Because I always do.” He looked down and then back at you. “I was born in Spain, but moved to the United States when I was very young. I don’t watch many movies, but when I do watch TV, I like shows about history.” He paused. “And home improvement.” You smiled at that admission, thinking of Pero doing construction or household maintenance. “I live in a small house a few minutes from Lin and William.” 

“That’s good. It’s helpful.” You flattened one hand on the tabletop. “Would you like to know anything about me?”

“I already know some things.” His eyes flicked to the right and he lowered his shoulders, but when Pero looked back at you, you saw determination in them. “Would you like to know what I know?” Lips lifting into a smile, you gestured for him to continue - and he did. 

Pero knew your birthday and your parents names. He knew where you worked and where you’d gone to school. He knew what shows you watched, what you liked to eat, and who your celebrity crush was. How? How could he possibly know this? “Did you talk to Lin? Did she -”

“No. You put too much information online.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I just typed your name and things came up.” The matter of fact way he spoke to you made you laugh, but as soon as the sound erupted from your lips, he flinched. Shit. “You laugh at me.” 

“No, I just…” Sighing, you pinched the bridge of your nose. “Hearing it all laid out like that is … weird.” He spun the coffee cup between his hands, keeping his eyes on you. “It’s right, but it’s still…” You didn’t know how to explain it; the way he’d recited the facts to you, it just made you seem typical. 

“Why did you agree to do this?” He finally took a drink of his coffee, tipping his head back slightly and giving you a glimpse of this throat as he swallowed. “To let me pretend with you?” 

“Do you want me to be honest?” He agreed with a single yes, leaning back in his seat as he waited. Here goes nothing. “You’ve always been a mystery. We’ve been in the same place at the same time a lot since we first met, and I’ve always gotten the impression that you were just … uninterested in being friends.” He frowned, but didn’t interrupt. “I’ve tried. I don’t know if you realize it, but I’ve tried to talk to you. I’ve tried to get to know you, and you just…” Sliding your hand up and down your forearm, you finally looked away, staring at the table. “This seemed like an opportunity to make it happen. And that makes me sound like an asshole, but -”

“You are not an asshole. That would be me.” He cleared his throat and said your name, the frown gone from his face but replaced with concern. “Making friends is not easy for me, and so I made the choice to keep people away on purpose.” He gestured to his face, fingertips following the line of the scar that slashed across one side of it. “This makes it easier.” 

“Pero, it -” You felt your chest constrict at the thought that he viewed his appearance as a reason - and a way - to further isolate himself. “If I had my way, we would have had this conversation a long time ago.” 

“You did not ask.” He gestured to the scar again. “Everyone always asks. But even when we met for the first time, you didn’t mention it.” 

“Because that’s rude.” Tilting your head to the side, you chewed on your lower lip. “If you wanted to tell me or anyone what the cause of it was, you would.” That took him by surprise, and you could tell by the widening of his eyes that he hadn’t expected any combination of those words to come out of your mouth. But it’s the truth. “I’d love to get to know you. And if I can do that and help you with a job, that’s even better.” 

He stayed silent, turning his head toward the window. After a few seconds, you did the same. It was late but there were still people on the street, and since you’d gotten to the coffee shop, it started snowing. It wasn’t coming down hard; instead, the sky was spitting snow almost lazily, the flakes falling down to land on the existing piles from the previous snowfall. “Do you want to know why I said it was complicated the other night?” 

“Yes.” The answer was automatic, and through his reflection in the glass you watched as he straightened up, shifting until he was facing forward again. What is he going to say? You turned back, too, waiting. 

“It’s complicated because I want to know you. I have wanted to. But why would you want to know me?” He scoffed. “You know what I do for a living. What I have done, and how I have treated you. Every time you tried to talk to me, I had to force myself to remain quiet. If I answered you it would have encouraged you. If I encouraged you, it would be so much harder to -”

“Wait. Pero, wait.” Your heart racing, you leaned in. “Are you trying to tell me that this whole fucking time, you’ve been … you don’t hate me? You’re just … like this because you thought your interest had to stay one-sided?” It took a second but he nodded, the frown back. Oh, you silly man. You groaned and put both hands over your face before taking a deep breath. “Pero, I’m friends with William, too, and he does the same thing you do for work. Why would you think it’s any different?” 

“Because I’m dangerous. William does not like to get his hands dirty. I don’t mind.” You believed him - or at least believed that he believed what he was saying. “People look at me, and they see…” He gestured to himself. “It frightens some of them. Others just stare. But I use that to my advantage.” 

“Neither of those things apply to me.” It was your turn to frown. “Let me be very clear, Pero. I agreed to this, to help you, and expected nothing. I hoped, though, that at the very least, we’d come out of it friends.” His eyes were narrowed and he was scowling, but there was something new there, too, and it gave you courage to continue. “And I know that you do have to work while we’re at these events, but if … if you wanted to use them as actual dates? I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t say no.” 

 He blinked slowly, and the scowl morphed into a look of disbelief. “You wouldn’t?” Shaking your head, you waited, the moment stretching between you. If he denied you, you’d have to spend three nights with him knowing that you’d laid it out and he’d chosen to ignore your admission - and his own feelings. But if he agrees… “Give me your hand.” He flipped one of his over, holding it out to you, palm up.

It was the second time you’d touched him, but when you reached across the table and laid your fingers against his, you sucked in a breath. His hands were warm, and when Pero’s fingers curled around yours and pulled back toward himself, you looked up at his face. His lips were parted, and Pero was staring at your joined hands like he’d never seen anything like them before. “Pero?” 

“You can hold my hand.” He squeezed your hand, nodding. “Tomorrow? We will be walking around a lot, and it might look … strange if we didn’t at some point.” That made sense to you, and you told him as much. “I also…” He groaned, his thumb rubbing against the outside of your pinky. “Since I have to be alert, it might be easier if I put my arm around your shoulders, or -” 

You moved without letting him finish, pulling your hand free so that you could stand. He watched you intently, sitting up and leaning back against the booth. Is this a bad idea? Probably. Definitely. 

You’d made progress with Pero in the previous few minutes, and your action had the potential to derail all of it. But when you sat next to him and turned your head, arching a brow, you were confident. “You can try it out now.” Something flashed in his eyes then, and for a split second, you thought he was going to say no. 

Instead, Pero raised his arm and slipped it behind you and across the top of the booth. “You’re sure?” 

“Yeah, Pero.” You held your breath but didn’t look away, and then his arm went around you for the first time, the weight of it heavy across your back. You didn’t know if he did it on purpose, but when his hand settled against your  shoulder, fingers curling against it, he nudged you closer, your body pressed to his side. “See? That’s not so bad, is it?”

“Not at all.” It was the closest you’d ever been to him, and as you stared into Pero’s eyes, you realized that it would be easy to get used to being that close to him. “It has been a long time since…” He took a deep breath. “Since I have let myself touch someone like this.” 

It seemed unbelievable to you that someone who looked like Pero could be successful at keeping someone determined away from him. But look at how he’s been with me. And if what he said was true - that he worked hard to make sure no one got close - you had to assume that his behavior toward you had been less overt than with others. Because I’m friends with Lin and William. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get rid of me easily. 

“Can I ask you something?” It was voiced with reluctance, but the question was answered with a yes. Ok. Here goes nothing. Wetting your lips, you were emboldened by the way his eyes dropped to follow the movement of your tongue. “Why? Women like dangerous. They like dark, mysterious men. A lot of them like men they feel like they have to work on before they open up, and -”

“Is that what you are doing?” He leaned closer, searching your face and lowering his voice. “This because I am dark and mysterious? Because you want a challenge?” 

“Not entirely.” You drew in a shaky breath, knowing that he was aware of the effect he had on you in such close proximity. “I’m doing it because I think you’re worth it. Lin and William wouldn’t be friends with you if you weren’t, and -” 

“Liar.” He smiled then, the growl in his voice making you shiver. “You are one of those women that like to be challenged.” 

You groaned at his words, jabbing your elbow into his side and scooting away. Pero’s hold on you loosened as you stood, putting a hand on your hip. “Fine. I admit it. But, if you’d said no to this, or if you’d said yes but just wanted to keep things professional and focused on work, I wouldn’t have fought you.” You paused and then winked, relishing in the way he inhaled sharply. Gotcha. “I can take no for an answer, but I’m glad it doesn’t seem like I’m going to have to.” 

You sat again, reaching for your cup and taking a long sip. None of what had happened was expected - but things had gone much better than you’d anticipated. And that’s a good thing. Because now even if things are awkward, they’ll be awkward because we’re figuring it out, not because - “That is enough for tonight, I think.” He reached up, scratching the side of his head. “I have to meet the client tomorrow morning. Early. And then I have to come and pick you up, and -”

“Oh, you’re picking me up again?” He nodded, eyes locked with yours. “I thought I’d drive over myself, and -”

“No. We stay together.” His tone was firm. “The whole time.” Ok then. 

Raising your cup and tipping it in his direction, you gave him a wide smile. “Sounds perfect to me, Pero.” 

While you got ready the following day, you replayed the end of your coffee “date” with Pero over and over in your head. 

You hadn’t stayed out much longer, but the drive back to your house wasn’t quiet. Instead, you talked the entire way. It was mostly about Lin and William, but it was still progress. And when he’d parked in your driveway, he’d paused before saying goodnight, followed by the sound of your name in a voice so low you barely heard it. 

He’d reached for your hand, fingers curling around yours as he lifted it to press a kiss to your knuckles. That took you by surprise, but instead of voicing that surprise, you only bit down on your lip and squeezed his hand back before letting go and telling him to let you know when he was on the way the following day. 

Compared to other first dates you’d been on, Pero’s behavior was tame. 

He’d made no move to actually kiss you, hadn’t even suggested a physical attraction or a desire to stay close after you’d moved to sit next to him and essentially forced him to practice putting his arm around you. 

But you went to bed feeling hopeful about the three dates you’d go on with him. You were interested in seeing if you could get him to open up more. You wanted more nights like the time you’d spent in the coffee shop with him, but with less distance between you. 

You’d always been attracted to Pero, and his attitude hadn’t done what he’d likely hoped it would. Instead of scaring you off, it made you cautious about the way you approached him, but no less interested. You weren’t hung up on him, but there’d always been a part of you that wondered what would - or could - happen if he let you in even a little. 

You’d asked Lin once during a girl’s night, the two of you wrapped in cozy blankets on her couch with snacks in front of you and a rom com playing on the TV, why he was so distant. She hadn’t been able to  give you an answer, aside from “he does it to himself”, but you’d seen the way her lips twisted into a frown as she spoke, sadness flitting across her features. You were curious about Pero’s scar, as you imagined everyone was, simply because of its position on his face, and how deep it looked. 

It wasn’t a lie that his demeanor was attractive to a lot of women; what you had lied about was the way you felt about it. He would be a challenge, no matter how you looked at it, but with anyone else, the amount of time and effort he’d put into trying to push you away would have been a total turnoff. But not with him. 

After gathering your things, you headed into your living room, sitting on the couch and checking the time. You expected his text within the following few minutes, but since there was nothing else to do, you leaned back against the cushions and closed your eyes. 

The event that day was the fundraiser, and with the advertising you’d seen for it over the previous few weeks, you knew it was going to be a lot. Pero and William’s client was a celebrity that also dabbled in singing, and the fundraiser featured items from throughout her career up for sale, along with opportunities to do things like attend premieres, have VIP at one of her future shows, and to meet - and spend time with - her and her costars on a set in the new year. 

It would raise a lot of money, but it would also bring a lot of people into the area - and the need for updated security wasn’t a surprise to you. And they’re the best. They probably won’t be needed, but they’re the best. 

Your phone vibrating startled you out of your thoughts, and after replying to Pero’s text - and confirmation that he’d be to you in under fifteen minutes - you stood and stretched, taking a deep breath. I can do this. 

Putting your boots on, you moved toward the kitchen and pulled your coat from the hook by the door. “I want to do this.” 

You didn’t give him a chance to get out after he parked. By the time he was reaching for his seatbelt, you were outside and almost to the passenger door. 

“Why will you not let me meet you by the door?” You laughed at his scowl, and when you met his eyes, you saw that for the first time, there was no weight to it. This is good. “Is that not -”

“I’m not that old fashioned, Pero.” You buckled yourself in, adjusting the strap. “There’s no reason  for you to get out of the car just to get right back in.” 

“Women.” He grumbled out the word, shaking his head. “Maybe it’s better I do not try to date. You are confusing.” It made you giggle, something you rarely did, and the sound caught Pero’s attention, his dark head turning toward you before he could put the car in reverse. 

“What?” You pressed your lips together. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“No reason.” He smiled then, the look in his eyes softening. “No reason at all.” 

“Well that was a nightmare.” You and Pero were standing at one of the raised tables off to the side in the main exhibit room. “You have to do that every time you get a new client?” 

“Most of the time it happens before they get here.” He gestured to you. “But because you are a new piece of the puzzle, it couldn’t be done early.” Thank you, William. “They just needed to make sure you weren’t dangerous.” 

“Me?” You rolled your eyes and then let your gaze wander over the room as it filled. “I’m probably the least dangerous person in this room.”

“Not true.” He rested his elbows on the table, leaning closer. “There is more than one way to be dangerous.” You didn’t have time to question him about that, because the emcee stepped onto the stage and tapped the microphone at the podium. 

“We’ll be starting the bidding in just a few minutes.” He pointed at the table set up along the far left wall. “For smaller items on that table, you can check in with one of my employees to place a bid.” He gestured to the empty space beside him, a pristine tablecloth draped over a second platform. “And for the more valuable things, those will be available here, one by one.” The crowd murmured in agreement, and you watched as Pero looked around the room, too. 

He was alert, but in a way that still looked relaxed, and it was impressive. “I’m going to go and get something to drink, do you want anything?”

“No alcohol.” He looked back at you, shaking his head. “Not until later. Not until she is safely out of the building.” Agreeing, you left him to join the short line waiting for drinks. You hadn’t seen Lin yet, and wondered where she and Willaim were. Maybe back in the dressing rooms. That would make sense.  

You waited in the line, listening to the way people around you were chattering. They seemed to be having a good time, and excited about the fact that they’d get to bid on the items - and be in the same room as a celebrity. You didn’t blame them, it was a neat opportunity, but truth be told, you were looking forward to the time with Pero more. Even if he’s working. 

Carrying the drinks back to your table, you paused long enough to watch your date for a few seconds, relying on the people passing between you to keep you hidden. But when, moments after you stopped, his attention shifted and his eyes landed on you, you realized that there was no being stealthy when it came to him. 

He raised a brow but didn’t look away. I should have known better. You smiled at him and then started moving again, weaving through the crowd until you were by his side. “Nonalcoholic beer.” You set the cup down, glancing over at him. “For both of us.” 

He grumbled when he raised it to take a sip, and you watched his lip curled at the first taste of it. “People pay for this?” 

“They do.” You swallowed your own drink, sighing. “So what do we do now? Do we have to bid? Should we walk around and look at the stuff for sale?”

“We do nothing.” He trailed a finger through some of the moisture on the table. “I stay alert. William and Lin are back with her right now, and when she comes out to talk to the crowd, then I move closer so that I can keep my eyes on her.” 

“You said we stay together the whole time.” You frowned, elbowing him. “So that means I’m going with you when you get closer.” He was quiet for a few seconds, but then Pero’s shoulders relaxed and he lowered his head. 

“I did say that.” 

The first portion of the auction went smoothly, and just after they closed the bidding to give everyone a chance to get settled for the main segment, you saw William and Lin step out from a set of doors on the right, his arm around her waist. 

“Look, there they -” You spoke up but were interrupted when Pero started talking, too, nodding his head. 

“Yes, I see you. We will move to the other side of the room now.” He’s had an earpiece in. I didn’t even notice it. 

That meant that William had been able to hear everything Pero had said to you - and likely most of what you’d said in return. You hadn’t had any deep conversations, but knowing that your privacy was limited changed things. So was he answering me with that in mind? Or was he … shit. 

To your surprise, Pero reached over and took your hand, hesitating only slightly before sliding his fingers between yours so that you could press your palms together. We’re holding hands. Actually holding… wow. “We will move to the chairs on the left. William and Lin are staying on the right.” He squeezed. “Are you ready?” 

You were, and as the two of you found a new place to sit, you paid close attention to the way he interacted with the people you passed. Pero didn’t speak to anyone but he looked at all of them, assessing the other attendees with practiced ease. You wondered what they were looking for - or if they expected there to be trouble. 

Pero waited until you were seated to take his place next to you at the end of the row, and you were disappointed when he let go of your hand to do it. While everyone was getting settled, you took a deep breath and leaned over, turning your head to speak into his ear. He sat with the earpiece on the other side. “Is this as awful as you thought it’d be?” He stiffened, but there was a minute shake of his head before he turned in your direction. 

“I never said it would be awful. Just … difficult.” He looked down, his eyes on your hands where  they rested on your thighs. “And it has been.” You frowned, thinking, and opened your mouth to ask him how. “It is starting.” He pointed. “I have to pay attention now.” Pero reached into his pocket and handed you a slip of paper with a number printed on it. “In case you want to bid.” 

“I’m not bidding on anything.” You took it, though, laughing quietly. “But -” But it will look less suspicious if we pretend. “Thank you.” 

For the next thirty minutes, you watched as item after item was brought out onstage to cheers and applause. There were three autographed scripts, a tour-used microphone, some wardrobe and prop pieces, and a handful of signed items both by their client and her costars and band. It was an impressive assortment of memorabilia, and when each winner’s name was called, you felt how excited they were. 

And when the auction shifted to the new items - the ones that would bring in the most money and had the most potential to cause trouble for Pero and William to step in and fix, you shifted slightly closer to him, your arm brushing against his. 

He didn’t say anything, but a few minutes in, Pero reached over and brushed his knuckles over the back of your hand briefly - the contact taking you by surprise. It was a good sign, you thought, as you glanced over and saw his lips twitch. And that’s almost a smile, which is even better. 

He stiffened slightly when the emcee announced a special guest to present the following few experiences, and even you felt your heart rate rise as the woman walked out onstage to a much louder chorus of cheers and applause. 

She introduced herself and said hello to a few people in the crowd, but then got right down to business, slipping into the persona that you were familiar with based on seeing her performances and interviews. 

You found yourself laughing along when she started the bidding on a visit to set, describing it as an opportunity to see her - and her castmates - make a mess out of their lines for the first dozen takes. And the laughter continued when she paused between items to tell a story about working on her first show, and how anxious she’d been, which turned out to be for nothing, because it had ended up being one of the smoothest filming experiences of her career. 

There were a few tense moments toward the end of the auction when someone stood up and shouted over the rest of the crowd that they loved her, and you felt Pero stiffen again, his body angled slightly toward the sound. But as soon as she responded, telling the man that she loved him, too, and thanked him for coming, he sat back down and Pero relaxed against his chair, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. 

“We’re almost done, Pero. Couple more bids, and -”

“And then we can get out of here.” He sighed, nodding. “I know.” 

The night had passed much more quickly than you’d anticipated, and you were sad that it was coming to an end. As soon as the hammer fell on the last auction item - and the grand total of winning bids flashed on a screen behind the podiums, everyone started cheering again. You risked a look over at Pero - and then another at William and Lin - and noted that while both men were watching the stage, Lin was watching you, her eyebrows raised and a knowing smile on her lips. I’m never going to hear the end of this. 

The client was ushered offstage by a few men that you assumed were her personal security team, and once she was gone, Pero stood, reaching over to pull you to your feet. “Come on.” He tugged you toward the doors opposite the ones William and Lin had emerged from, and moments later, you were in the back hallways with the people behind the scenes. He kept holding your hand as you made your way back to the room you’d given the information for your background check in, fingers linked tightly together. 

The two of you joined a small group of others in the security room, and watched on monitors as the client’s team navigated her out the back entrance and into a waiting car. The moment it pulled away, another with her small entourage following close behind it, Pero breathed out deeply, his hold on you relaxing. “Night one, done.” 

It shocked you that they were getting paid to be bystanders, but part of you wondered if he and William preferred simple, safe jobs to the ones that required lengthy trips or the potential for danger. And so close to the holidays, he gets to stay home with Lin. “Do we need to meet with William before we leave, or -”

“No, I can take you home.” He flexed his fingers, his chin tilting downward as he realized you were still holding hands. Please don’t let go. Please don’t let go. He didn’t, pausing before he spoke again. “Thank you for -”

“Tovar.” William’s voice cut in, and you looked up in time to see him and Lin making their way through the room and toward you. “Good job tonight.” Pero nodded, immediately releasing your hand and crossing his arms, shoulders straight. “Lin and I are going to get something real to eat. Want to come?” 

You wondered if it was purposeful - if William was inviting Pero to see if he’d say yes for just himself, or if he’d invite you to go along. “We drove together, so I hav…” Your stomach dropped at his response, and you knew there was no hiding the disappointment on your face or the way you flinched at his sudden change in demeanor. “No. That is not …” Pero turned his body so that he was facing you and took a deep breath. “Do you want to go and get food with them?” 

“Yes. But only if -” His eyes widened and you watched his lips part, Pero clearly surprised by your reply. “Only if you want me to.” 

“I want you to.”

Part 2 coming soon!

[abbyfmc]

Yandere Story Idea #30:

"The traitor /fake friend".

Yanderes must have had some friends before meeting their senpai. I like to think of those kinds of "friends" who envy everything you have, to the point of doing anything to take it away from you (yes, like those friends who steal your partner). Let's say your partner has an envious friend, who is so in love with you that he will do ANYTHING to have you.

So this is the basic story I came up with: Two boys (who I'll call Anderson and William) have been friends since the end of high school (A/N: or as long as you decide), being classified as the "inseparable duo". Anderson came from a financially well-off family, to the point of inheriting the family fortune and businesses along with his brother Axel; while William came from a lower-middle class family with parents who weren't exactly the best.

William was overshadowed by Anderson in everything; in his studies, at work, in the family, economic and social spheres; however, Anderson did not do it on purpose. He always tried to be good to William, since he always defended him from the mockery he suffered for being considered poor.

Anderson was very good and kind to everyone, whether family or not. Unlike many rich and upper class people, Anderson could never look at middle or lower class people as inferior; on the contrary, he treated them as normal people.

William always felt envious of Anderson and secretly hated him for, according to him, "stealing a lot of things from him," when Anderson even gave him work and NEVER stole anything from him.

That's why William set out to steal EVERYTHING from him.

That is, until you met both men. You were a lawyer (or any other profession of your choice) that Anderson and William stumbled upon.

William fell in love with you at first sight, but you never really got interested in him, since you were really interested in Anderson. Anderson also slowly fell in love with you, and over time you became friends, best friends, then boyfriend and girlfriend, and finally married. Needless to say, Anderson was an excellent man to you.

You politely and cordially rejected every flirtation William made, but he refused to lose you to the possibility of Anderson "stealing" you.

This is where William starts to transform into the Yandere fake friend.

Yandere fake friend went crazy when you and his best friend first became a couple.

Yandere fake friend heard how happy you and his best friend were and he couldn't stand it. He would pretend while he was with you or in public, but in private he would curse Anderson for everything.

Yandere fake friend wanted you to look at him at least once the same way he did, but he didn't want to accept the reality that you deeply loved your husband. He hated seeing the fact that you talked nice to him, hugged him, kissed him, or gave him a child.

Yes, the yandere fake friend hated your child so much because is Anderson's child and not his.

However, William wouldn't take off his mask just yet. First, he'll try to take advantage of all the opportunities Anderson has given him to meet people and climb the ranks; second, he'll pretend to be a nice guy to your son; and third, he'll make his best friend believe that he would never hurt him, and that he could trust him.

Then, the yandere fake friend will try to create conflict between you and your husband, with the aim of separating you and making you disappointed in him.

Now, Here I have a couple of scenarios in mind:

You get divorced:

1. The yandere fake friend saw how his plan was successful after finding out about your divorce. You could say he was jumping for joy in his house. 2. The only bad thing would be that your son is between the two of you, but he would deal with him later. 3. Whatever the rumor or reason for your divorce (caused by William), William will make sure that no evidence reaches your hands. 4. Now, the yandere fake friend will try to manipulate you with comfort, support, and brainwashing. He will control situations in such a way that if Anderson sees you in these situations with him, he will become even more disappointed in you. 5. Or maybe the yandere fake friend kills Anderson and somehow manipulates Axel into helping him get a good place in his business. 6. The yandere fake friend will try to seduce you and if he succeeds, he will want and do anything to marry you (and maybe want to have another child). 7. If he fails, he will kidnap you and your child. 8. It is likely that if you fall for his manipulation, marry him and so on, William would make your son a puppet to keep him quiet, since he knows that your son is not stupid at all despite his young age; and that the little boy is suspicious of him. 9. Did I mention that William would secretly despise your son? You don't get divorced:

William will be very angry and will fly into a rage.

He would proceed to plan B, which is to murder his best friend. He would plan an "accident", then take advantage of your pain shamelessly to get closer to you.

Then the yandere fake friend would pretend to be hurt to try and manipulate you.

Since there are no witnesses (according to William), the yandere fake friend was able to continue lying to try to take Anderson's place.

If you fall for his game and fall in love, he'll do the same thing I said before. If not, he'll kidnap you and your child.

When your child is old enough, he will send him to study far away with the excuse of letting him know other places to expand his mind and knowledge, but in reality he just wants to get rid of him.

He only does this because he knows that your son is a hindrance simply because he is the son of your enemy.

If he had a child with you, he will treat it like a treasure.

William would also treat you like a precious diamond.

William will also try every possible way to ensure that Axel doesn't suspect anything of what happened and that he doesn't get close to you, his son (let's call him Dereck) or yours either so that he doesn't investigate what really happened.

If there happens to be a witness, William will extort him, give him money or kill him so that you will never find out the truth or be separated from him.

Ending #1: William gets away with it and never pays for his crimes. He gets rid of Axel and your son with Anderson (Anderson. Jr.) and passes it off as accidents, leaving him with you and only you. 12.1- If you find out the truth about his crimes against Anderson, Axel, Anderson Jr and other witnesses; the manipulations towards his own son Dereck; the hatred against Jr and all the lies, William couldn't believe what you are claiming from him with pain and resentment for all those deaths and tragedies. When he saw the pain, anger and sadness you felt for those people, his heart broke as he desperately tried to manipulate you that it was an accident, but you didn't believe anything and finally you yelled at him: -"Anderson gave you everything! He advocated for you many times, helped you with money and in your studies, he faithfully supported you when you needed it and gave you many job opportunities, HE CONSIDERED YOU AS A BROTHER! And I foolishly fell into your game…"- And with that, William began to show his true colors. 12.2- If you even think of trying to escape or call the police, William will not accept it and will probably keep you kidnapped. If you continue to love Anderson and advocate for him, William will not tolerate his resentment or envy and will kill you because he cannot accept that you, the love of his life, loved his best friend more than him. 12.3- Poor Dereck, upon learning of all the crimes and manipulations his father has said and done, would be so devastated that he would leave that house hating William or he would take his own life rather than continue being his son.

Ending #2: 13.1- The beginning is similar, except that Jr and Axel team up to investigate what really happened to Anderson. 13.2- While William is brainwashing you, Anderson.Jr and Axel are trying to gather evidence, until they finally find a witness. 13.3- It turns out that this witness had not confessed anything because William had him under surveillance and threatened, which is why he could not speak in all these years, with a weight on his conscience. 13.4- Anderson. Jr and Axel managed to convince him that nothing would happen to him, so the witness talked about how he saw William tamper with Anderson's car (the same car that Anderson crashed and died in). 13.5- Obviously both Axel and Anderson Jr. were devastated. 13.6- They both decided to tell you about it and finally open your eyes. Needless to say, you were very disappointed and started to hate William. 13.7- When they got all the evidence, the yandere false friend was arrested, especially for the crime of murdering Anderson. 13.8- Dereck managed to confront him before and after much discussion, William confessed his hatred for Anderson because he "stole" everything he could not have, ignoring the help and consideration that Anderson had for him; the deep hatred for Junior, Axel and the murder of Anderson. However, William tried to manipulate him and did not realize that he was recorded by Dereck himself. 13.9- You felt pretty bad, but not for him but for your children, for Axel and for yourself. You hated yourself for falling for his manipulation, but you hated him even more for everything he did against someone who had nothing but attention for him.

-The End.

Yes, i made an entire story in my head.

[whore-era]

never meant to be

☁︎ ellie x fem!reader ☁︎ summary: in which you and ellie go through the heartbreaking realization that love is never fair. ☁︎ warnings/themes: cheating (ellie cheats on current gf with you), dina is your sister, heartbreak/forbidden love, not a happy ending, familial issues | fingering/thighriding (r!recieving), use of strap, fem anatomy ☁︎ a/n: hi. don't hate me lol. sometimes i write stories like this to feel a little something. also it's 2:30 am and i have to be in class by 7:00am so this is not proofread lol. there will be NO part two. ☁︎ word count: 9,800 words aka my longest fic yet

for as long as you could remember, you were always in dina's shadow.

despite you being the youngest daughter, dina was your parent's pride and joy. she was the smartest and prettiest daughter, who never failed to win the family's attention.

dina was the 'perfect' daughter in your parent's eyes. she followed in mom's footsteps and won prom queen 3 years in a row and was crowned 1st place as miss wyoming since she was 14 in the annual pageant every year. last year, she got accepted to yale university with the intention of going to law school and becoming a criminal lawyer just like father.

your parents were set on having two extremely intelligent daughters who attended ivy league colleges and strived for an above-average career like an award-winning surgeon or a ground-breaking research scientist.

but that wasn't you. at all.

from a young age, you were always attracted to art — such as sculptures, paintings, murals, and various types of music. you had a keen eye for things more abstract, which always set you apart from your own family.

sure, math and science were subjects that came easily to you, and you had no difficulty with keeping straight A's at school, but you always knew you wanted to do something different than what was set for you.

despite being the black sheep of the family, you did find yourself envying dina. she had the bigger room, nicer clothes, a car, and always got money whenever she asked mom and dad for it. it was hard not to be jealous.

especially since she started bringing ellie williams around.

dina met ellie during her freshman year at yale, and the two hit it off. they officially became a couple this summer, and with the approval of our parents, ellie followed dina back home and agreed to stay the entire summer with her and the family.

from the first moment you met ellie, you were smitten.

it was the first week of summer, and you were relishing in all the much-needed vacation time, knowing by the time summer was over, you would be on your way to los angeles for college.

you were relaxing in bed with your copy of 'pride & prejudice', reading it for probably the 70th time. from your bedroom, you can hear a car pulling up in the driveway followed by your mother's loud voice yelling "welcome home!!", and then slamming car doors. getting up from your comfortable position, you drew the linen curtains to the side and took a peek out your window, down at the driveway.

from above, you could see mother taking dina in her arms, giving her a hug and placing a kiss on her forehead.

your eyes drift to father, and to the girl he was shaking hands with.

she was unlike anyone you've ever seen. her short brunette hair was cut short, hanging right at her neck in the style of a mullet. her slender arms revealed one tattoo on her right forearm that was visible underneath the folded flannel layered over a plain white t-shirt.

she held this charming aura about her, evident by how your father let out a hearty laugh as he gently nudged her on the shoulder. this woman must've been impressive because it was a rarity to see your father laugh, let alone when first meeting someone.

as dina grabbed the girl's hand to drag her inside the house, her eyes flickered up toward you, lingering on you for a little too long.

-

"so, ellie, tell us. what are you studying at yale?" your father's deep voice resonated throughout the dinner table.

"ugh, daaaad, please. no more interrogating my girlfriend," dina groaned out, "you're gonna scare her away, and we've only been together a month!"

"i was just asking a question, sweetie. no need to fret," your dad interjected as he took another bite of chicken.

ellie cleared her throat before putting her fork down, "uh, i'm actually in a computer science program— i'm in the works of developing my own software."

father's eyes widened, "wow! how impressive! what kind of software is it?"

"it's actually a type of software used by government agencies to store highly classified government documents, sir," ellie added, "it keeps unverified users locked out of the servers so they don't access the documents unless they recognize the IP address, and the software reports any unknown addresses back towards us to be monitored for criminal activity."

your ears would usually tune out the boring conversations held at the dinner table, but you couldn't help but be completely absorbed in everything ellie was saying and it only left you wanting to know more.

"how exciting! glad dina found someone who's doing something significant with their life," your father complimented, "unlike our youngest."

"such a shame. you graduated top of the class this year, yet you want to attend art school." your father's eyes bore into the side of your face as you pretended not to notice his words, distracting yourself by poking at the cold piece of broccoli on the expensive china plate.

"art school is cool too," ellie complimented, "what are you majoring in?"

you picked your head up, surprised by ellie's sudden interest in your studies. you were used to everyone else asking about dina and talking about dina and would compare you to dina. it was exhausting.

"um— fine arts. i'm also minoring in graphic design," you managed to squeak out, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

"and what are you planning to do with that, young lady?" your dad prodded in his signature stern voice, "you're 18 years old, almost 19, you have to start thinking about your future seriously."

you take the glass of water, and take a sip from it, suppressing that urge to cry from his words, "okay, father."

your mother places a hand on your dad's shoulder, attempting to calm him down, "honey, not at the dinner table."

he doesn't say anything else, and continues eating his dinner, whereas you lost your appetite a long time ago, and are no longer feeling in the mood to be around your family for another second.

the fork falls from your hands, creating a clinging sound against the ceramic dish. "may i be excused?" you tremble, ignoring the burning gaze from the brunette's eyes. you couldn't put into words the humiliation you felt at this moment, and you couldn't bear to look at dina's mocking smirk or at ellie's pitiful stare.

"okay, sweetie. goodnight." your mother murmured. you got up from the chair, and scurried out of the dining room, wanting nothing more but to curl up under your covers and lay in dark silence.

as you ascend up the stairs, you can hear dina continuing the conversation as if nothing ever happened, laughter and jokes ensuing in your absence.

-

the past two weeks with ellie in the house was an adjustment you had to get used to.

there have been a few occasions where you'd forget to lock the bathroom door, and bam, ellie barges in. luckily, she was a gentlewoman and always covered her eyes even though you were fully clothed. but it was extremely awkward, to say the least.

one morning, you thought the house was empty and took the opportunity to blast your favorite pussycat dolls song and belt out the chorus while shaking your hips around in the living room, only to find ellie looking down at you from the top of the stairs with an amused expression on her face.

needless to say, you put an end to your one-woman concerts and kept them in the privacy of your bedroom.

it was currently 2:45am, and you just wrapped up a painting you started this morning. the house was still and silent, and no one else but you were awake during this time of night.

feeling the gurgle and rumble of your belly, you take off your headphones and tiptoe down the stairs. with your socked feet pitter-pattering on the cold tile of the kitchen, you opened the door to the fridge and scanned the shelves for a tasty late-night snack.

"hmmm...." you hummed, "strawberries and cream might do the trick." you pulled out the bowl of strawberries and a tub of cool whip, and sat down on the tile, opening the lid, and dipping the berry in the creamy topping.

you were about 5 berries deep before you heard a voice clearing their throat, causing you to jump in your spot.

"isn't it a little too late to be eating dessert?" ellie queries. she was in a grey hoodie and plain grey sweatpants with half of her hair tied up. it was evident she probably just woke up, and a part of you felt a little guilty that you possibly were the reason for that.

unable to speak with a mouthful of fruit, you slowly shake your head left and right, eliciting a chuckle from the brunette.

"alright, no judgment here." ellie puts her hands up, "can i join you?"

swallowing the lump of red fruit down your throat, you respond, "sorry, yeah. of course," you hold up the bowl of berries, "want some?"

the girl crouches down and sits next to you on the floor, grabbing a strawberry and dipping it in the cool whip, then taking it all in one bite.

she chews momentarily before shaking her head in satisfaction, "not bad, not bad. never tried this combination before."

"really? i've had this snack for years, ever since i was a little girl," you smile, "it was my dad's favorite snack growing up..."

your voice trailed off as you reminisced about the earlier years when life was easier and you didn't have the pressure of worrying about college or career aspirations. all you and dina worried about was grilled cheeses and finding your bratz doll's missing feet.

ellie spoke again, "were you close with your dad growing up?"

you bit your lip, the sweet taste of strawberry and whipped cream present upon the skin, "yeah. we were," you laughed dryly, "we used to watch those cheesy law and order SVU shows all the time."

"yeah?"

"mhm," you hummed, "they were always entertaining to me. he thought that it'd eventually influence me to become a lawyer like him. he always said that we'd become the dynamic duo or whatever and that we'd kick ass in court."

ellie sat intently, watching you, listening to you as you told her this memory. from the moment she first met you when she got here, she knew you were quite the opposite of dina. dina was type A. she was occasionally uptight, a bit boring, and not really fit for ellie. ellie was chill and was a 'go by the flow' person, which was one thing dina hated about her. don't get her wrong, ellie liked dina, and she liked how dina was funny and smart, but she didn't really see them lasting long-term.

it was shitty. it was shitty how ellie didn't see herself being with dina for that long, and it was worse that ellie didn't have the guts to tell her.

but, for her own selfish reasons, ellie didn't want to tell dina, not yet anyways. she gravitated toward you and often found herself staring at you for a little too long during meals at the table and thinking about what you were doing in the next room over while dina was cuddled up in her arms.

ellie knew this was a bad idea. she could not get attached to her girlfriend's sister. it was nothing but a recipe for disaster.

but ellie was only human. she couldn't help her ever growing curiosity.

"you didn't want to be a lawyer?" ellie asked.

you shook your head, "hell, no. looks stressful and boringgggg," you sang out.

ellie laughed, "yeah, can't disagree with you there. dina tells me it involves lots of reading."

"yea, i'm good." you giggle, "what about you? have you always known that you wanted to work with computers 'n stuff?"

"i guess. i was always a 'nerd' and all that bullshit. loved watching sci-fi movies and shows and i'm also a huge gamer so—" ellie began, "i can't imagine myself not doing anything else other than techie shit."

you nod, putting another cream-covered berry in your mouth, "that makes sense. at least you're passionate about what you do."

"yeah, i guess," ellie snacks on another strawberry, "how 'bout you? you're an artist?"

you cover your mouth to muffle a laugh, "i wouldn't call myself an artist. but i do love painting. it's all i ever want to do."

"then it wouldn't be too much if i could ask to see some of your art."

your eyes widen, and you nearly choke on the fruity snack. "what?" your voice almost comes out sounding shocked.

"yeah, i mean, i'd love to see some of your stuff," ellie looked toward you with a sly smile.

"um, no," you laugh, "my parents haven't even seen some of my work."

you were hesitant to show anyone any of your artwork, and only allowing your best pieces to be kept in the security of your personal portfolio, only to be viewed by colleges for applications and such.

"aww, c'mon. i wanna see."

you huff, "maybe."

ellie smirked, "i'll take what i can get," she continues, "besides, think of me as....an art critic."

you let out a giggle, "oh yeah?"

the night progresses and you and ellie get lost in conversation, talking until 4am about life and whatnot. ellie was an easygoing person to talk to. she never seemed to judge you for any of your own opinions, and it felt like she was actually interested in what you had to say. it felt like you've known her for years, even though it's only been a matter of weeks.

you could already see the rays of orange peeking up from the navy, blue sky. it was already early morning.

"we should probably head back upstairs," you suggest, nodding your head towards the window, "the sun's gonna rise....and dina'll wake up soon."

it was like clockwork. dina woke up every morning at 6:30 am, never earlier nor later. you definitely did not want her to catch you and ellie here, alone and together.

for a moment, ellie forgot that she was here with dina. it was fucking terrible and she felt guilty, but she really liked spending the night talking with you and she knew she needed to do it again.

"uh— no, yeah, of course," ellie stood up first, holding out a hand to help you up next.

you took her warm hand in yours and hoisted yourself up until you were stable on your feet.

"thanks," you murmur.

"yeah, no problem."

ellie didn't pull her hand away, and neither did you. it was like your hands were two pieces of a puzzle, fitting perfectly in the spaces of each other's fingers.

realizing what was happening, you quickly pulled your hand away from hers, "uh—"

"fuck, sorry," ellie stammered, "i'm getting— um— awfully tired."

good excuse, ellie thought to herself.

"it's fine, no worries. let's head upstairs," you lead the way up toward the stairs with ellie alongside you. you stop in front of your bedroom door and ellie stops in front of dina's, her hand lingering on the doorknob.

"yeah?"

"um— just wanted to say goodnight, ellie." you smile at her, and she returns the favor.

"goodnight." ellie whispers, and you both head inside.

with dina still fast asleep, ellie crawls into bed next to her. she pulls the blanket close to her body, and turning away from her sleeping girlfriend, a small smile makes its way across her face as her mind drifts to you and how you were just a few feet away, a wall being the only thing separating you both.

and as you crawl into the comfort of your own bed, you couldn't help the wide smile that curls upon your lips as you thought about ellie, and how badly you wanted to talk to her again, ignoring the fact that she was probably laid up against your sister's body, holding her close.

it was an unfortunate thing — the slow formation of the connection between two people who were right for each other but were bound by the fate of knowing deep inside the chance of them being together was just not a possibility.

-

ellie could not get herself to fall asleep. she's been here for weeks, yet found herself tossing or turning in bed, never sleeping soundly for more than 3 hours at a time.

it happened again tonight. she fell asleep at 11:00pm, and here she was, wide awake at 3:00am.

she never knew how dina could do it— how she could make her body sleep at the same time, and stay asleep until morning.

ellie blamed it on the idea that her body wasn't adjusted to being at dina's house with her family. she thought that spending her summer vacation with dina's family would be fun and that it would be a good getaway from all the stress at school.

but ellie fucking hated your dad. from the first night she met him, she hated how he talked down to you. he was an asshole. it was obvious to ellie that he favored dina, and she knew it was only because she was following the same career path he was on. ellie didn't agree with how he felt about you at all, and desperately wished she could say something to him, but she thought it'd be best to not interfere...for now.

sighing, ellie took the covers off and quietly walked towards the door, slowly opening it and gently closing it.

she didn't know what the hell compelled her to walk over to your bedroom door, but before she had any time to even consider her actions, her fist planted three soft knocks on the surface.

ellie thought you must've been fast asleep by now, but a small part of her hoped that you would still be awake.

you swung your bedroom door open, unsure who would be knocking on your door at this hour, but was relieved to see it was ellie, "oh, hey."

ellie's eyes trailed up and down your body, taking you in and letting her eyes rake over the way your sleep shirt hangs loosely off your shoulder and how your cotton shorts stop mid-thigh.

she had to force her eyes back up on your face, and she was beating herself up for even letting her look at you that way, like a piece of meat.

"uh- er- sorry, i was just—" ellie stuttered, "i couldn't sleep."

you nod slowly, and step aside to let her inside your room.

god, this was such a bad idea.

after letting her inside, you close the door and lock it. walking back over towards your bed, you plop down on the mattress as ellie awkwardly stands in the middle of your room.

"you can sit down, you know," you giggle, and ellie shrugs and chooses to sit on your swiveling desk chair.

silence fills the air for a moment before ellie speaks up first.

"were you busy?"

you shake your head, "nope, was just reading a book."

"ahh, okay," ellie was silent for a moment before speaking again, "sorry again, for uh— bothering you."

"you didn't bother me," you laugh, "i'm usually up around this time anyways, jus' doing whatever."

ellie nods and turns the chair to face your desk where she sees your black leather sketchbook. her fingers open the book to a random page, and it was a sketch of a cat napping on a window sill in incredible detail.

the sound of pages flipping caught your attention, and you immediately jump to your feet as the realization hits you.

"hey! my sketchbook!" your hands quickly try to snatch the book from her hands, but ellie was faster, and got up and held the black book up and out of your reach. to your loss, ellie had the advantage of being a couple inches taller than you were, which made it extremely difficult for you to get to your book.

"these are amazing! let me just look through them a little bit longer—" ellie says, flipping through the pages of all the sketches you made, "holy shit— is that— is that me?"

your eyes grow wider, and you could feel the sweat seeping out of your pores, "give that back!"

you jump and try to grab the book, but ellie has this annoying smirk on her face as she holds the book high above her head, knowing you wouldn't be able to grab ahold of it due to your shorter stature.

"ugh, seriously?" you whine, flushing red in embarrassment, feeling like she just read an extremely personal section of your diary. in a way, your sketchbook was your diary.

"let me take a picture of my sketch and i'll give it back to you, deal?" ellie attempted to negotiate with you, but you narrowed your eyes at her, really not wanting her to have any evidence of your sketch at all. but she doesn't seem like the type to take no for an answer.

luckily, you were quite the trickster yourself. it's a youngest child thing.

you huff, "fine."

ellie smiles with pride, and as she lowers her arm to put the sketchbook down, you act fast and seize the book. but before you succeed, ellie snatches it back, and suddenly she's falling back onto your bed. you fail to steady yourself, following suit and landing on top of her, your forehead thumping against hers.

"ouch."

both of your eyes meet, and for a second, everything stands still. you and ellie don't move, afraid that whatever happens next, it'll end up with you both in a compromising situation.

"i— uh—" you sputter, "sorry." you quickly scramble up to your feet, getting off of her, and standing back to create some distance.

the absence of your body made ellie feel cold, but she pushed that feeling to the side and stood on her own two feet, handing you your sketchbook.

"thanks," you take the book from her hands and stuff it in the top left drawer of your dresser, where it usually is anyways.

"you know, those were really good," ellie mutters, scratching the back of her neck, "especially the one of me."

heat rises to your face once again, "it was from the day i saw you in the driveway— when you first got here with dina."

she nods, "i can tell, 's really good though. i swear."

you blush, "thanks," you think of something quick to change the subject, wanting to stray away from your sketch of her, still reeling in the embarrassment of her finding out.

"wanna watch the office?"

4:58am

you know what? imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so i thank you.

"god, i love dwight so much, dude," ellie laughs, throwing a chip in her mouth as she watches jim's character pull out the bobblehead and place it on his desk.

identity theft is not a joke, jim! millions of families suffer every year!

michael!

oh that's funny— michael!

you let out a sleepy giggle, cuddling your pillow. you and ellie had been on your bed with the show playing on your laptop for an hour already, while she munched away on a bag of chips you had in your room.

ellie turned her head to check on you, and she could tell by your heavy eyelids that you were about to knock out in any second, "you sleepy?"

"mhm," you manage to hum out.

she smiles, in awe at your cute, sleepy state.

"go 'head and sleep. i'll finish up this episode and let myself out when it's over," ellie murmurs. she unfolds the blanket that was sitting at the edge of your bed and places it over your body.

"you sure?" you ask, nearly half asleep.

"mhm. i'll be gone by the time you wake up." but you knew you didn't want ellie to be gone when you woke up and ellie didn't want to go either.

as the show continues to run, you close your eyes and fall into slumber.

you weren't sure what woke you up, but you did. you hear the sound of 'the office' theme song playing, causing you to stir slightly, but you were surprised by the pressure present around your waist.

you sit up a bit, and you see ellie fast asleep, with her arm wrapped tightly around your waist, spooning you.

you look at the clock next to your bed and read the time: 6:23 am.

the air is sucked out from your lungs. dina is gonna be up soon.

"ellie! wake up!" you whisper quite loudly in her ear, shaking her awake. she doesn't wake up, and just groans, pulling you back to hold you again.

ignoring the butterflies going rampant in your belly, you attempt to wake her up again, "ellie! please, wake up," you shake her arm, "dina's gonna wake up in any minute."

ellie's green eyes open, and for a moment she's glad it's your face she sees when she wakes up, until the realization dawns on her.

"shit, shit, shit," ellie curses, getting off your bed and standing up, "i have to go."

and she exits your bedroom, leaving you alone in your bed only with the memory of waking up in her arms.

as ellie slowly and quietly enters dina's bedroom, she's relieved by the sight of dina's body still fast asleep. she gets back in bed and turns away from her, trying to calm her fast heart rate down.

on cue, dina's alarm clock goes off at 6:30 am sharp. ellie can feel dina turning and shutting off her alarm clock, and then she scootches closer and wraps her arms around ellie's body, planting a kiss on her cheek.

"morning, babe," dina whispers, and ellie shuts her eyes, pretending she's still asleep.

ellie lets out a mumbled 'morning' sounding groan and nestles her face into the pillow. she feels dina get up from bed and head into the bathroom to begin her morning routine, leaving ellie alone, wishing she had you wrapped up in her arms instead.

-

two days had gone by and you barely talked to ellie, sharing nothing but longing glances and brushes of fingers when you handed her a plate during meal times.

you didn't purposely intend to avoid ellie, but your mother had filled your agenda with errands for your 19th birthday party this weekend. you had to go talk to the caterers, talk to the florist, get fitted for a dress, buy new shoes, send out invitations— it was all so tedious and tiring, but you didn't want to make your mother upset by disappointing her.

the contractors were currently setting up the house with decorations and such for the party, and ellie was outside in the backyard with father, helping the rest of the workers set up a stage and other things needed.

you hated hot days, especially ones like these, where the air was scorching and dry. but you couldn't complain today, ellie was in a tight, white tank top showing off her muscular biceps and arms. you couldn't help but stare a little longer, trailing your eyes over the beads of sweat that would roll down her neck.

thank god for hot days like this one.

"honey, will you please do me a favor and bring out this tray of refreshments to everyone outside please?" your mother handed you a tray of cold drinks and fresh fruit.

"of course," you smooth out your sundress and take the tray from her hands, walking out of the kitchen and through the open doors leading to the backyard patio.

you walk over toward where they were working and set down the tray, "here are some cold drinks everyone."

your father and the workers mutter a quick thank you and take the offerings, sipping on the chilled drinks and talking amongst themselves.

however, what ellie needed wasn't a cold refreshment or a fruity snack. in fact, the only thing she could think of that would help ellie in this heat right now was you.

she couldn't tear her eyes away from the way your tits looked, the way the fabric hugged the soft, pillowy flesh. she definitely couldn't look away when you walked back towards the house, only wishing she can run her hands over the smooth skin of your thighs, grabbing on your ass.

the way you made ellie sweat was incomparable to the sun's radiating heat.

"excuse me, i'm gonna use the bathroom," ellie muttered, making her way back inside the house.

as you neared the kitchen, you overhear your mother's conversation with dina.

"yeah, we'll be leaving a little early. i have stuff to do back on campus," dina's voice remarks.

"oh, that's too bad. i really like having you both here," your mother pouts, "when are you and ellie leaving?"

"the day after the party," dina replies, "it'll give us time to rest and pack up."

your heart sank in your chest. ellie was leaving? and so soon?

you ran back inside the house, jogging up the stairs, not wanting dina or your mother to see the tears watering in your eyes.

"sweetie? you okay?" your mother yells out from the kitchen.

"uh, yeah! just need to get something from my room!"

you make a bee-line to the bathroom and shut the door behind you, looking at your reflection in the mirror, and letting yourself break down in tears.

something like this was bound to happen. you knew ellie wouldn't stay here forever, and you would be leaving for college. but why did this hurt so bad?

you hear the bathroom door open, and you quickly wipe your eyes.

"e-ellie?"

the brunette was surprised to see you in the bathroom at first, knowing you did have a habit of leaving the door unlocked sometimes, but that all went away and concern washed over her as she noticed your tear-filled eyes and red, stuffy nose.

"hey, hey, hey," she whispers as she takes a few steps toward you, "what's wrong?"

you blink a couple times, a tear falling down your cheek. you hesitated to answer her question.

"you know you can tell me anything, right?" ellie coos, her hands soothingly rubbing up and down your arms.

you nod, and bite your lip, thinking of how to word your response correctly, "d-dina said you both were leaving after my b-birthday."

ellie softens and an evident look of disappointment appears on her face, "yeah, we are."

you wipe your nose, looking up at her with glossy eyes, "it feels like you just got here and— and—" you sniffle, "you're leaving already."

ellie's heart soars understanding that you were upset because she was leaving. "i know and i'm sorry," she snakes her arms around your waist, pulling you close to her, "i wish i met you sooner."

ellie wished she met you first, she would actually have a chance at giving you both a shot without the guilt of betraying dina.

you bury your face into her shirt, the scent of her perfume wafting in your nostrils. god, there was just so much to do and so little time.

you pull your head back to get a good look at her face, to memorize her features, and sear them into your brain.

your eyes fell to her lips, and before you could even form a single thought, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against hers.

ellie instinctively pulled you closer by your waist, kissing back, moving her lips slowly with yours.

you slowly try to pull away from her lips, but she brings you back in for more, her grip on your waist never releasing.

"ellie," you breathe out, but it comes out sounding more like a moan, "w-we can't," you whine, "d-dina's here."

fuck. she stops, and pulls away from your lips, leaning her forehead against yours for a brief moment.

ellie plants a small kiss on your forehead, before letting you go and exiting the bathroom, leaving you alone once again.

-

"happy birthday, dear," the lady greets, leaning to give you a kiss on your cheekbone, "19 is such a fun age, don't take advantage of it, alright, hun?"

"sure," you hum, smiling back as the lady retreats back to the party, getting lost in the sea of people.

you had no idea who she was. actually, you didn't know a lot of the people here. a bunch of them were your father's associates from the law firm, some of your mom's book club members, and dina's friends from high school.

it was your birthday party, but your parents never turned down the idea of hosting a celebration if it was an excuse to mingle and network.

you head upstairs toward the balcony and step outside to the cool, summer night, leaning against the railing. you took a deep breath in, briefly closing your eyes in an attempt to gather your thoughts and clear your head.

"not enjoying the party?"

the sound of the voice causes you to spin in your spot, and you're met with ellie standing at the doorway. she was dressed in a white, collared dress shirt that was slightly unbuttoned at the top, with black slacks. her hair was down, in her signature mullet. you could tell she'd been drinking, as her eyes appeared dazed and she seemed more relaxed.

"uh— it was getting hot and stuffy in there," you tore your eyes away from her, "i just needed some air."

ellie sauntered over, standing next to you and placing her arms against the rail. her eyes raked over your body, drinking in how absolutely gorgeous you looked in your dress.

"you look beautiful tonight."

heat rose to your cheeks, and luckily the blush you wore today camouflaged the deepening crimson fading on your cheeks, "thanks."

"you always look beautiful, but you know, it's your birthday tonight and i had to remind you."

it was possible that ellie's words just fell from her lips because she was slightly inebriated, but it was true. ellie thought you were the most beautiful thing this earth could offer. you were the closest thing to heaven on earth.

but ellie couldn't have you, and without you, she was in her own personal hell.

you cleared your throat, attempting to wave off the tension in the air, "are you enjoying the party?"

she shrugged, "yeah, it's okay. i mean— dina's been introducing me to all your dad's friends and shit, trying to show me off like some kind of fuckin' trophy or something." she lets out a harsh laugh, "have you met my girlfriend ellie? she's a computer science engineer at yale! she's already done work for google and apple! isn't that so cool?"

ellie mocks dina's voice, and you can tell she has this slight bitterness to her. but you couldn't blame her for how she felt, dina only cared about the superficial things.

"oh...i'm sorry," you turn your head to face the view, "she's always been like that. trying to compete with everyone else and prove that she's better."

"yeah, i fucking hate that."

silence falls between you two again, and the elephant in the room couldn't be more obvious. it's been two days since the kiss in the bathroom occurred, and neither of you had even acknowledged it since then.

ellie would occasionally find herself thinking about the way your lips molded onto hers, and how she'd risk her relationship with dina just to experience it one more time. hell, she'd break up with dina.

it was hard for you to think about ellie without having the guilt bubble in your belly. you couldn't get ellie out of your head at all, and frequently spent those late nights fantasizing what it'd be like to be in dina's position, as ellie's girlfriend.

but, those feelings of shame always came to the surface and you tried to suppress them, pushing them into the dark corners of your mind, but as the day's progressed, it got harder and harder to do.

even being next to ellie made your body feel like it was on fire, and the urge to kiss her again was coming full throttle. you had to leave before you did something you both would regret.

"umm, i'll see you down there," you quickly sputter out before turning your heel to leave, but you felt ellie's hand grip your arm, stopping you.

"wait."

you force yourself to look at ellie, and your eyes connect with hers. your heart rate picked up, and suddenly the oxygen left your lungs. it was insane how one person could make you feel like this— like you could die if you were to let go.

"i—" ellie was about to let her heart speak for herself, and she was going to tell you everything. she was going to put her heart on the line and risk everything, for you."

"ellie! elllieee! where are yo— oh! there you are!" dina appeared at the doorway, a wide smile on her face as she finally found ellie. "where were you? i have to introduce you to this guy who works for this video game company! come on!"

before ellie can say anything, dina grabs her arm and drags ellie away.

the party happened and ended. you blew out your candles and cut the cake, and soon enough all the people left by midnight. dina was fast asleep on the couch in the living room downstairs, as the expensive, bubbly champagne had officially defeated your older sister.

your parents were asleep. dina was asleep. the only two people awake in the house was you and ellie, a deadly combination.

ellie was in the next room, intoxicated, and thinking about what her next moves were. she was leaving tomorrow and she knew that soon enough that you would be leaving for los angeles too, for college.

the thought of you possibly meeting someone new during college made her skin burn. ellie wanted to be that person for you, to be the one who made you laugh, to be the one who you called at the end of the day to tell her all about what happened in class, to be the one who gave you butterflies and made your heart flip.

fuck it, ellie thought, and the next thing she knew she was walking to your room and knocking on your door.

you swung the door open, and ellie swore she could've died and gone right to heaven. you were still in your birthday dress, but your hair was down, and you just looked like the most beautiful thing she'd seen in a long time. it was impossible that you were a real person.

"....ellie?" you spoke softly, and the sound of your voice knocked her out of her thoughts.

"huh? yeah— uh— fuck. sorry," ellie stammered, "can— can i come in?"

"sure."

you could smell the mixture of whiskey and her sandalwood perfume radiating off her body, and it was an addicting combination. you just wanted to bury your face in her neck and sniff her, as creepy as that did sound.

you sit down on the edge of your bed, crossing your legs, and ellie leans against your wall, with her hands stuffed in the pockets of her black slacks. she was still in her outfit, but the top of the buttons of her shirt were opened much wider, revealing a bit of skin.

silence falls in the room, and there was tension in the room. the room was beginning to feel humid and hot, and a small bead of sweat rolled down your temple.

ellie's eyes raked over you in your little dress, and how the dress bunches up just enough for her to get a peek of the sweet skin of your inner thighs, a paradise she's been dreaming of.

she wasn't sure if it was the little bit of alcohol still left in her system, but she could feel that familiar heat bubble in her core, making her feel even hotter.

"so, i was thinking, and i realized that i didn't say 'happy birthday' to you," ellie spoke softly, "i didn't even get you a gift."

your eyes widen, and you let out a small laugh, "it's fine, don't worry about it."

"nah, you've been so good to me, and— i mean— the least i could do is buy you something or take you out for dinner when me and dina come back for winter break."

your smile falters. when me and dina come back. the words echo throughout your head. me and dina. come back.

shaking your head, you try your best to respond without choking up, "i-it's okay..."

"what? don't be ridiculous-"

you cut her off, "it's f-fine, ellie," you breathe out, "i'm gonna head to bed now."

a pang hits ellie in the chest, and a look of hurt washes over her. "w-what? but i-"

you couldn't contain the jealousy that simmered in your belly, and it was partly due to the specialty cocktails you had tonight. you just had to have a midori sour.

"you and dina have to leave early tomorrow," you spat, with venom dripping off every word. it was enough to be noticed by ellie, and she received your message.

ellie doesn't say anything and her mind whirls in search of the words she wants to say.

after a few seemingly long minutes, she speaks up, "i think i'm gonna break up with dina."

your head snaps in her direction, your expression in utter disbelief, "what?"

ellie nods, "yeah."

"but, why?" you ask, "dina loves you and my family loves you—"

"dina is not who i want to be with."

you freeze, and your heart skips a beat.

"who do you want to be with?" you had an idea of who, but you played dumb, eager to hear her say the words.

"you."

time stops, and suddenly, everything feels like it's frozen in time, and the only two things that were present were you and ellie. for a moment, you let yourself imagine how things would be if she did break up with dina and went with you instead. of course, you would be over the moon being ellie's girlfriend, but at what cost?

dina would surely hate you if she already didn't and she'd make your life a living hell. and your parents? your dad would think you were a bigger disappointment, especially for ruining his perfect daughter's relationship.

you and ellie would face ultimate backlash, and wouldn't be on the receiving end of support from those close to you.

it pained you to think about it, but you had to be realistic.

"ellie......" you whispered, your voice coming out slightly strained, "i don't think we could be together."

ellie shakes her head, "we can. i'll break up with dina and— and— we'll have a long distance relationship and we'll come back—"

"and we'll be here? together? in front of dina and my parents?" you cut her off, hurt evident in your voice.

her demeanor faltered, and she was quiet for a moment. ellie understood your point of view, and how it'd be difficult to continue a relationship with her ex-girlfriend's sister.

"just stay with her."

ellie sighed, "no, even if we can't be together, there's no way i'm going to stay with her. no fucking way."

"but—"

"no. i don't want to be with her," ellie comes closer to where you were, causing you to stand on your feet and back up, "everyone is talking about how everyone else would feel. what about me? i can't fucking stand not being with you. you think i enjoy thinking about you while i lay with dina? do you even understand how hard it is for me to just look at you? do you know what you do to me?"

you feel the cool surface of the wall press on your skin as you were backed up against the wall. she had you cornered and you couldn't do anything about it, and a small part of you enjoyed this.

ellie's voice is low and raspy, "do you have any idea how much i think about you? having you as mine? thinking about the things i would do to you?"

you swallow hard, and you shake your head left to right, "ellie, you're just d-drunk."

she shakes her again, "i'm not. i'm one hundred percent sober."

"you're talking nonsense—" you try to convince her, but deep down inside, this was you trying to convince yourself.

"why can't you just face the fact that i want you?"

"because you're dating my sister!" the tone of your voice shocks the brunette.

"i can't— i can't have these feelings for you," you breathe out, "you're with dina."

ellie closes her eyes at the mention of her name, and again, silence fills the space.

"then let's forget about her, okay? for one night, i just want to forget about her," ellie whispers, "all i wanna focus on is you."

you search her face, and you bite your lip, actually contemplating the idea.

as you and ellie make eye contact, it was then you realize how close she was to you, you can nearly taste her lips if you leaned in further enough.

and in a swift move, ellie presses her lips against yours, pushing you against the wall. her hands cup your cheeks, kissing you with a sense of urgency and passion.

she takes control, and pushes her tongue in between your lips, roaming around in your mouth, eliciting a mewl from the back of your throat.

ellie's hands move to the back of your neck, and wrapped up in each other's lips, you both continue your way over to your bed, falling onto the mattress.

you pull away for a brief moment to flip her over, straddling her and sitting on her thighs.

ellie bunches your dress around your hips, fully exposing your thighs for her enjoyment. her cold hands send a shudder up your spine as they make their way to your thighs, "so fucking gorgeous."

ellie whispers, and she reconnects her lips against yours, and you couldn't help but grind your core against her, eager for friction as you feel a pool of wetness gather in your panties.

you let out a small whimper against her lips, and ellie grows more greedy, and slides her tongue inside your mouth again. the burning heat forming in your core begins to be harder to control, and you couldn't help but grind your pussy harder against her again.

the brunette smiles against your lips, and she takes hold of your hips, guiding you and placing you securely on her right thigh, "there, baby. grind that pretty fuckin' pussy on my thigh."

desperate for more, you place your arms around her neck for security and begin rubbing your panty-covered pussy against her pants, the fabric providing some friction on your swollen clit.

you couldn't suppress the soft whimpers that leave your lips, and ellie presses her lips against yours, drinking in every single moan that reverberates through your throat. she has you right where she wants you, wet and desperate for her.

"ellie.." your parted lips whine, "want more."

your pleas come out sounding as pathetic moans, and she smirks at the sight of you, eager for more.

"yeah? you want more, baby?" you nod frantically.

the brunette flips you over, takes you off her thigh and lays you on your back. using her knee to part your thighs, her fingers slowly trail down your inner thighs, and she uses her index finger to slide your panties to the side, sliding her finger down the wet slit of your pussy.

"shit," she curses, "so wet for me."

your hips buck up, craving more and more of her touch against your sensitive cunt, "ellie, please."

smirking, ellie pulls down your panties, the damp fabric pooling at your ankles, and she uses two fingers to spread your lips, the wet skin creating a slick-sounding echo throughout the room.

she uses one finger to rub your soaked, swollen clit, drenching her finger with your wetness.

"hmmph," you whimper, gripping her arm tight. ellie takes your lips in hers, muffling your pleading moans with her mouth as her fingers rub agonizing slow circles on your pussy.

she briefly pulls away from your lips, breathing heavily, "god, you're so beautiful when you moan."

ellie continues the circles against your clit, and you grab her wrist, stopping her, "e-ellie, please, i-i want more.."

the brunette pauses and thinks for a moment, "alright, baby, give me a second and wait here."

ellie places a kiss on your forehead, pulling her fingers out of you and quickly hurrying out of your bedroom. seconds later, you hear your door open and you see her come back in with a black strap and a harness.

"do you use that with—"

ellie cuts you off, "no. this one's new."

she takes off her shirt, and her black pants, leaving her in a plain black sports bra and plaid red boxers. she quickly hooks the harness around her hips and attaches the strap.

coming back on the bed, ellie looks at you with soft eyes, "is this okay with you?"

you nod, "yes, it's perfect."

she smiles, and she leans in to kiss you again, this time the kiss being much gentler than the previous one before. her hands make their way down your hips, and taking the hem of your dress in her hands, she slips it off of you.

pulling away, she takes the chance to gaze at your body. there was nothing but absolute adoration in those pools of green.

"you're beautiful, have i told you that?"

"only a couple times," you reply shyly, and ellie smiles, kissing your cheek.

her hands gently part your thighs, and she lines her cock up at your entrance. "we'll start off slow, yeah? you let me know if anything hurts, and i'll stop, baby."

looking up at her with glossy eyes, you nod. ellie takes the base of her strap and slowly slides it inside of your pussy, slowly filling you up.

"oh my god." was all you could muster.

"fuck," ellie curses, "you're so fuckin' wet for me, sweet girl."

filling you up almost completely, she grabs your waist and begins thrusting her hips, the strap easily sliding in and out of your wet pussy.

your eyes roll to the back of your head and you grab onto her arm, your grip tightening around her limb with each striking thrust.

the sound of clapping skin and wet slick fill the room, along with a combination of your soft whimpers and ellie's groans.

"keep your eyes on me, babe, wanna see those pretty eyes as i fuck you," ellie groans out, tilting your chin to look up at her.

how can something so wrong feel so right? she had your legs spread apart, with her strap buried deep inside you as dina slept soundly just downstairs.

it was hard to feel guilty when she was hitting every sweet spot inside you.

ellie leaned her forehead against yours, her thrusts never losing rhythm as you coat the black silicone in your white, cream.

as her strap slides in and out of your pussy, that familiar knot begins to form in your belly, and you feel almost as if you're nearing the edge.

"god, ellie— i think i'm about to cum," you stammer out, feeling your pussy tighten around her cock. ellie's eyes never stray away from yours, wanting to make sure you kept your eyes on her.

"yeah? come on, pretty girl, cum on my cock," she coaxes you, and her words cause that feeling of euphoria to wash over you, as you tip over the edge and writhe beneath her.

"ellie," you cry out, "i-i l-love you, fuck." you whimper out, as your pussy clenches around her, the black plastic strap squelching as your juices drip all over it.

"i love you, baby," ellie groans out, as she does one last thrust inside you, falling over in exhaustion onto the bed.

moments later, ellie gets up and takes the strap off. she cleans you up with a clean, wet rag, and climbs into your bed, the both of you still without clothes.

she drapes the blanket over your bodies, and she pulls you close to her.

"you okay?" she asks.

"mhm, i'm more than okay," you hum.

a comfortable silence falls, and you speak up again.

"i just wish you didn't have to leave tomorrow," you whisper, a stray tear falling down your cheek.

ellie kisses the top of your forehead, and rubs your back soothingly, "me neither, baby."

and you and ellie both fall asleep in each other's arms, just for this one night.

-

you really didn't want to have to see dina and ellie off.

it was sad enough that the girl you were in love with was dating your sister, but for her to go to university almost halfway across the country was something close to heartbreak.

luckily, ellie woke up early and got ready and packed up her things before dina woke up. but unfortunately, you woke up alone.

and for the rest of the morning, you stayed cooped up in your bedroom, not wanting to endure the sorrow of seeing ellie leave.

but she had to.

from your upstairs window, you watched as your father and ellie both began loading up the car with suitcases and other bags.

you didn't even want to say goodbye to her, knowing that the minute you saw her face, you'd burst into tears.

so, you just decided you wouldn't say anything to her at all. it was easier that way and it made a cleaner cut.

you hear a knock on your door, and your mother's head peeks out in your bedroom.

"hey honey," she coos, "come downstairs and say goodbye to ellie and dina."

you sigh and turn your head away from the door, "no, thanks. they'll be good without me."

you hear your mother sigh, and she shuffles into your room, closing the door behind you and sitting next to you on the bed.

"don't you wanna say goodbye to your sister, before she leaves?"

you shrug, "dee will be fine without my goodbye."

and for a moment, your mother is silent.

"well," she begins, "don't you want to say goodbye to ellie?"

you were stumped and you didn't reply.

"after all those late night conversations and such, i think ellie would want you to say goodbye."

your eyes widen in surprise, and you turn to look at your mother. "hold on, you know about that?"

she scoffs, "i may be your mom, but i'm not stupid." she laughs, "i can see things from a mile away, and my motherly intuition is telling me that...you like ellie."

you sigh and tear your eyes away from your mother, feeling ashamed, "i know, and i'm a terrible sister for that."

your mom soothingly rubs your back, "no, that makes you human. you can't help who you get feelings for, hun."

she tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and smiles at you, "ellie is an amazing girl, and i'm glad she realizes how wonderful you are."

tears fill your eyes, and you completely break down. your mom looks at you with sympathy, her heart cracking seeing her daughter experience heartbreak, "i love her, mom."

you let out these muffled sobs, and your mom takes you in her arms, comforting you as you cry.

as soon as you come back, she wipes your tears, and takes hold of your hands, "listen to me, sweetie," she coos, "if you love her, let her go, and if she comes back, she was always yours. but if she doesn't, it was never meant to be."

you laugh a little bit, "ugh, mom, that was corny."

"it is, but it's also true," she says, "which is why i think you need to say goodbye to ellie. life will take you in two different paths, and you'll regret it if you don't say anything."

absorbing her words, you nod and wipe your face with the sleeve of your sweatshirt. you get up from your spot, and hurry outside, nearly sprinting to the driveway, seeing dina already in the passenger seat and ellie about to get in the driver's side.

"wait!" you call out, and ellie's head snaps in your direction, a wide smile curling on her face.

first, you jog over to dina, "bye, dee. have fun at yale and stay safe."

you kept your words short and sweet.

"thanks, kid. go crazy in LA, okay?"

smiling, you nod at her and make your way over to the driver's side of the car, where ellie was standing and waiting.

you stand in front of her and you take a deep breath, before wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling her in for a tight hug.

you take this opportunity to whisper in her ear, only for her to hear, "maybe in the off chance we see each other again, and things are right, we can give us a shot."

"you better stay true to your words, pretty girl, because i plan on seeing you again," you can hear the smile in her voice as her arms wrap around your waist.

before anyone notices the prolonged hug, you pull away from her and stand next to your mom and dad, where you all wave goodbye to them as they pull away and disappear into the road.

maybe in another life, in another time, in another dimension, you and ellie were together.

you would have this big house overlooking the hills, and you'd have this amazing studio with huge windows to paint whatever you wanted and ellie would have her own office, dealing with her own ordeals. you would have a dog running around with a grumpy cat trailing along with them. you and ellie would always end the day with dinner together, and by the end of the night, you would be curled up in her arms and life would be perfect.

but this wasn't another life. for now, you and ellie were just two souls who are merely passing by each other in this lifetime. from strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and strangers again.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

[blushblushbear]

Hi, hi! I'm so happy to see someone who writes/ enjoys Blush Blush—I swear the content creators are countable on one hand lol /lh

Anywho, here's some stuff I wanna ask ya. Feel free to do as much or as little as you want (top 3 of each if ya can):

>Who would be the best and worst cook?

>Who would hate and love pda?

>Who would throw the most elaborate celebrations and who'd be the most lowkey?

>Who'd make the best and worst surprise dads?

>Best uncle?

OKAY LET'S DO THIS! *cracks knuckles*

LET THEM COOK

Best Cooks: Nimh (specializes in baked goods!), Dmitri, William, Cole, Seth (but only barbecue), Logan, Haru

Worst Cooks: Eli (will order food for you tho!), Scale (bless him he tries tho), CASHEW, Sven, Aki

EVERYONE ELSE: they're alright. Maybe not the best, but def not the worst. Can make something edible!

PDA??

LOVES: Nimh, Kelby, ELI (mwah mwah mwah!), Garret, DMITRI, William, MYX, Stirling, COLE (especially when it's you loving on him-- let them other boys know <3), Cashew (almost in love it and hate it cause flustered but NO NO HE CAN'T HE LOVES IT TOO MUCH), LOGAN, AKI, HARU

HATES: Anon (but will accept some hand holding and cheek kissing),

Oh they love it and they hate it at the same time: VOLKS, Scale (wants the loving BUT WHAT IF HIS ENEMIES SEE), Poe (gets embarrassed), FUYU (he must keep his composure but it's hard when he's getting sweet kisses <3 <3)

Okay with it: Ichiban, Sven, Seth, Reece

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!!

High key: ELI, Ichiban (might make a video of it), Stirling (THERE SHALL BE A BALL IN YOUR HONOR AND HE SHALL HEAR OF NOTHING LESS), Sven, Seth, Aki, Haru (though he's planning an after party for just the two of you <3)

Low Key: VOLKS, Nimh, Garret (thinks it's high key, but it's actually really chill), Scale, Cole, Poe, Cashew (college kids only speak broke, same goes for Poe),

Would depend on the partner/could go either way: Kelby, Anon (leans more low key but whatever suits ya luv), Dmitri (he'll shout your name to the heavens or whisper it in your ear, you're call), William, Myx (though he really wants to throw a massive party), Logan,

Low key but High Key: Reece (big party? maybe not. take you to see the birth of the universe?? mayhaps ;3 ) Fuyu (it's a simple date of a show thrown for you, a feast in your name and a night giving you anything you wish-- ya know, nothing too big)

You ARE the father!

(for clarification all of them are staying by your side no matter what and will always step up as a father, just... some may have bigger steps than others....)

Total shock: VOLKS, Anon, Ichiban, Scale, Poe, Seth, HARU (lol, get dadd'd idiot)

Excited: Nimh, Garret, Dmitri, SVEN, LOGAN

Shocked but happy: Kelby, ELI, William, MYX, Stirling, Cole (maybe a little too happy...), CASHEW (big shock, so happy), Reece (he honestly goes back and forth between shock and joy until the kid is like 5 lol), AKI, Fuyu (he cried, can't believe he got so lucky)

Greatest Uncle (a Grunkle if you will)

Haru, Kelby, ELI, ANON, Garret, AKI, William, Myx, LOGAN

hey hey, rapid fire, PACHEW, PACHEW!

[anonymouse1312437]

Hidden Away

*Sorry for being away for so long*

TRIGGER WARNING:

This book might be too depressing for some. It is going to contain a lot of angst, some slow burns, and talk of depressing topics.

This will have a series of depressing thoughts coming from the main character played as Y/N.

This contains topics such as

Depression

Anxiety

Self-harm

Suicidal thoughts

Suicidal thoughts

Sexual assault.

Physical abuse.

This is going to be something the also contains in later chapters:

Smut

Breath play

Age-gap

Degradation

Shaming

This is not intended for everyone. This in not at all to run along sign the other passage I am writing which is American Amongst The Brits. This is to be read on its own. I will try to post to both frequently but, this is a favoring one for me at the moment as it is an escape from the current feelings brought on by the seasons. I do hope you enjoy the read. I intended to write this as if it were something that someone could relate to other than the smut sections. I hope you enjoy the read.

Please comment if you enjoy the read. It does bring joy to me to see the comments.

Chapter One:

Another year at a school. However, I was sent to a new country where I knew no one. I had a cousin here who lived in the UK but I have never met or heard of them. Yet here I am about to go to school with them. I don’t even know if they know I exist. My father hated his brother. His brother was a wizard who married a witch. My father was ordinary who married an ordinary woman so when I sneezed and something to do with magic happened it was like I was disowned. Mind you from what they told me when I first sneezed, I was merely a baby.

They raised me to believe that if I were to give into the temptation of learning any magic that it was the work of the Devil and that I would be damn to hell for eternity. My dad, I think, blames me for what happened to my sister and brother. They both never had magic but, when they played with me and something weird would happen, I was the one to take the blame. It was eighteen years of this before they found out the could legally get rid of me. We have always lived in America from my understanding but, clearly my parents have lived here in the United Kingdom. They had British accents that had slowly mended into an American accent. I was born in America and to hide the past they tried their best to make sure I only had an American accent. Some how I just know this will be a problem here. It is probably best to pretend that I am mute at this school.

“Hello dear. It is so good to finally meet you. Welcome to the family home. I am Amber and this is your Uncle Tom. This is your cousin William.” They said and I looked at them and just felt out of place. They were all well-kept, and it was as even the house knew I did not belong here.

“Hi I am y/n. I guess it is nice to finally meet you. I know it’s a bit rude to say this but, I truly did not know any of you existed until just this month.” I said and Tom and Amber smiled at me.

“I knew sweetheart. That is not your fault though. We also did not know in the beginning but he did call and inform us about your abilities at your very first sneeze. He thought we had cursed you with the abilities. He never did understand that it is something you are born with.” My uncle Tom said and of course I should have assumed my dad would do the sort.

“Come now darling. Come inside. Let’s get some food inside of you.” My aunt Amber said. She grabbed onto my shoulder and pulled me into a hug inside of her house. Tom and William just waved at me and escorted me to the table alongside her. She sat beside me and in front of us was a feast. It was odd to see so much food.

“What is America like?” William asked me.

“I am not too sure. I had a lot of strict rules I was forced to follow just because of my abilities. I wasn’t allowed out of the house and once I got into trouble in kindergarten, they forced me to homeschool. I didn’t get to see much outside of my home there. My mother and father didn’t even let me spend time with my siblings.” I said and looked towards my lap. I am fighting back tears right now because I love my siblings deeply but, even they began to be ashamed of me when my parents did not let their friends come over because people forgot I existed. I was just a name they whispered and if their friends came over, they would be questioned about why I was not in school. Then they would have got into trouble and could have ended up in jail. To everyone, I no longer existed.

“You are accepted here dear. You do not have to hide who you are here. Now William is just slightly younger than you, so he is in a different grade, however they are going based off age and that puts you at the start of fifth year. It is a bit advanced. Do you have any knowledge on your magical abilities?” Tom asked.

“I-“I started to say but, I do not wish to get into trouble with them.

“If you have practiced in secret, I promise you will not get into trouble.” Tom said.

“I have practiced. I just don’t have much knowledge outside of hand magic.” I said and Tom smiled.

“Mind showing me something that you have practiced?” Tom asked.

“Really?” I asked and smiled.

“Please.” He said. I waved my hand, and the table cleared. I waved it again and it was put away. I waved my hand once more and I had cleaned up any mess that remained. I waved it for a fourth time and my bags appeared inside the house.

“I am impressed.” Tom said and I felt myself feel something that might be considered happiness.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes. You have managed to learn a lot by being so sheltered from it. How were you able to study and practice it in my brothers’ house without him knowing?” My uncle Tom asked.

“I only practiced when everyone was asleep and only when they were not at home.” I said.

“We learned how to do that before our first year though dad.” William said and then I felt the happiness drain from me.

“That is only because you had people teaching you. You had someone there to help you practice. You had someone to applaud for everything you had done. She didn’t get the opportunity to have that though.” Tom said. William put his head down slightly.

“Sorry, I do not want to cause any trouble.” I said and looked at my hands. Things around me started to shake a little and it had felt like everything around me was unstable. Stop thinking like this. It is going to become a problem. I tried to silence my mind and when I managed to do it everything around me stopped shaking.

“My-my you are quite powerful. Does that happen often?” I heard Tom ask.

“What do you mean?” I asked him a bit confused.

“Does that happen when you are upset? Do things seem to feel unstable and become rather shaky? That does not happen to everyone. Matter of fact I haven’t heard of that happening before now.” Uncle Tom said and My Aunt Amber just looked at me with her mouth slightly ajar.

“Yes. I have tried many times to control it. No one over there knows this stuff I don’t think. So, they would think it was an earthquake and I would just have to go with it and pretend it wasn’t me who created the problem. Of course, my father would know it was me and then some stuff would happen.” I said and returned my eyes to the table.

My aunt Amber clapped her hands, and all the food reappeared in front of us but on plates.

“Are you not hungry?” She asked me. I shook my head and just played with my hands under the table.

“I do want to let you know the school you are going to relies on magic. It is taught in every subject. You have a few professors who have offered to aid in getting you caught up and trained with the necessary spells. However, there is always a problem professor, and I must warn you he has offered to assist you because he thinks it is going to be a testimony to how great of a wizard he is.” Uncle Tom said and I felt myself smile.

“Really? Everything is just purely magic?” I asked.

“Absolutely.” He said and smiled.

“The teachers there are nice?” I asked.

“They are called professors here dear. For the most part the majority are. However, I will warn you that once again the teacher that is primarily going to be helping you is not the kindest. He has a permanent scowl on his face. There is also one other who is not a teacher but has taken a temporary leave from the ministry of magic to help you get caught up as well. I do apologize if it becomes overwhelming, but it is necessary for you to get every bit of knowledge. He added and I smiled.

“Oh, that is kind of that person. Are they kind? I haven’t been around nice people before.” I said.

“Kind is not the word we would use for him. He is a Slytherin. He feels very entitled. He also has an ego that is massive. He is also arrogant. I would never use the word kind in association with him. I barely like to use his name but, it is best you know it. His name is Lucius Malfoy. He is Draco Malfoy’s father and for you I would just address him by his last name.” He said and started to eat the food in front of him. This encouraged William and Amber to eat.

“When will I be going to this school?” I asked.

“We will be leaving here shortly to get you to the platform. William will be sure to get you to classes. That is until you are able to get to them on your own.” He said and I looked towards William, and he smiled.

“Thank you I really appreciate it.” I said. They all continued to eat but, I avoided it. I don’t want to upset my stomach. There was not much I could do about it anyway. My stomach doesn’t tolerate food that well anymore. I didn’t eat properly with my family. They had these wonderful meals that would smell amazing, but I was not invited to eat with them ever. At first it hurt my feelings but, after a while it was just normal for me. The only things I was fed were peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or dry bologna sandwiches. After a while I just didn’t want to eat anymore. I will be fine though. I think this is just nerves.

“Why not go and freshen up and afterwards we will get you over to the platform to get you into the school. You two will ride by train and then William will take you to Hogsmeade to get some last-minute books. What you are not able to find there the teachers who have offered to help will give you the rest.” Tom said and I smiled.

“Where is the?” I started to ask where the bathroom was but, was interrupted by Tom.

“It is the second door in the hallway. It is on the left.” He said and I gave him a small smile and walked down the hallway. I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I look awful. No wonder they asked me to freshen up. I waved my hand in front of my face and my appearance returned to something that was better suited to be around people. I walked out of the bathroom and noticed everything was cleaned up again and put away. William was standing by the door and so were Tom and Amber.

“My, you look wonderful. Sorry, I hope it did not come off as rude to have you go and freshen up.” Tom and Amber said together.

“It was not rude. I just wanted to say thank you for telling me to freshen up. I was unaware that I looked like that.” I said and looked down.

“Come now. Let’s get you over to the platform.” Tom said.

[paceypeternathanslawyer]

Over the years I have found that actors who are great friends for real life have the best chemistry onscreen. You can't manufacture that kind of chemistry. It's just natural. The physicality. The effortless comfortability they have around each other. The fire chemistry. These couples are James Lafferty and Bethany Joy Lenz from One Tree Hill who were great friends for real and are still close to this day. They've been to many comic cons and the chemistry is still on full display at these events (Nathan and Haley), Joshua Jackson and Katie Holmes from Dawson's Creek dated for real life and remained friends even after breakup. Josh said that Katie was his closest friend on set (Pacey and Joey), Jaleel White and Kellie Shanygne Williams from Family Matters were friends onset and Kellie recently said how she had a crush on Jaleel. They recently were reunited in an interview and their chemistry is still fire (Steve and Laura), Tom Welling and Erica Durance from Smallville were great friends. I love to hear Tom talk about Erica because there's clearly so much respect and love between them. They really loved to work with each other (Clark and Lois), Kennedy McMann and Alex Saxon from Nancy Drew are great friends. I don't know much else about their relationship. I just know that Kennedy has said they are close friends and also Kennedy is a big supporter of the Nace ship. I've also heard of little improvs and story ideas that they came up with for Nace so they clearly are very simpatico (Nancy and Ace), Erin Moran and Scott Baio from Happy Days dated on and off through the years (Chachi and Joanie), Rachel Brosnahan and Luke Kirby from The Marvelous Mrs Maisel are amazing friends. And this is another situation of two actors who really support each other and have a huge amount of respect for each other (Midge and Lenny) what all these couples have in common is that they are friends and/or romantically involved. One or both of the actors in each ship are major supporters or shippers of their characters together, they all have had amazing chemistry all through the years even after the shows ended, they all respect each other as actors and each other's talents, they all have fire chemistry that remained strong through the entire run of the shows, and insane physicality where they are so comfortable with each other and and great at adding little physical intimacies to their fictional relationships.

Some chemistry you can sort of manufacture. You can create the long looks, the stolen glances, the yearning, the jealousy. But then there's the upper echelon of TV couples that just have it all. They have all these things but the chemistry endures past the yearning stage 💖

Then there are some couples who maybe weren't overly close. They either hated each other or just got along but weren't super close and those couples mostly have that manufactured chemistry and I'm not saying that it doesn't take talent to do that. It takes acting talent and some of it is genuine. Also this chemistry is not bad. I love the long looks and the stolen glances but these types of couples need long ass slowburns because some of that naturally goes away when they get together like the yearning and stolen glances for instance. They don't have those crutches to fall back on and all they have is that little bit of genuine chemistry. I do wanna clarify that I have always hated when writers make couples on and off unnecessarily. Give them the slowburn but keep them together once they get together you cowards lol

There are other couples with insane chemistry who are close for real life but I had to end this post sometime but they exist and those are special ships to be sure! 💗

[vinnysimmer]

My Mystery Stories #1

Chapter 5: Hell Week

It didn't take long for the news to spread - that a serial killer was on the loose on the campus of one of the largest universities in the world. During the break, people could only be seen walking in groups and always talking about who the supposed killer could be or who the next victim would be, but to the joy and peace of delegate Sierra, no gossip page or news report had written or mentioned anything about the Tartosian actor and the influencer being suspects. The red-haired detective had received the news that Luca Maglioni had arrived on campus, but he only attended his classes and soon left to give an interview - at first the detective was worried, but was reassured when he saw what it was about on social media, Luca had given an interview to promote the new season of Residency of the Heart and no one mentioned anything about the murder on campus and to the red-haired man's surprise, the actor acted as if nothing had happened, which Luke preferred to believe he didn't know yet. So, the detective decided to contact the actor's profile on Simstagram and explain the situation and why he wanted to talk, and received an almost immediate response that they would forward the message to the actor as soon as possible. Luke was drinking a milkshake sitting at a table near the UBrite common area, while reviewing everything he had heard from the witnesses and suspects so far - of all of them, the main suspects in Luke's mind were: William, because many didn't see him at the party; Dominic, because the detective hadn't bought the idea that he didn't remember anything; Daichi, because just like William he had no alibi; and as much as it bothered him to imagine, Luca. Luke was counting on Lionel's testimony to have a better view of the whole case. As much as he imagined that Lionel wasn't a suspect, his opinion changed after Dominic claimed to have seen him entering during the confusion.

Luke was waiting for Lionel - he had asked the dean to find him when he finished questioning all the boys from ΩKB. The young detective was observing the campus and a group of girls caught his attention - he managed to identify Grace, Regina, Althea and Angela, but he didn't recognize the others who followed her - they probably intended to hold the demonstration and that made Luke roll his eyes. A boy walked past them and he could hear the women shouting at him like a choir: "You're next! You're next!" The boy walked towards Luke, ignoring the screams behind him and he soon assumed that the young man was Lionel Blake. He sat down in front of the detective and gave a forced smile, which the detective didn't return. Before Luke could say anything, Lionel energetically introduced himself and said: "I'm not in trouble, right? I'm following the stay-away order properly!" And ignoring that, Luke asked bluntly what the young man had seen that day - and everything Lionel said, he took advantage of to promote his podcast and confirm his theories - and mainly, if Lionel had really been at the party.

“Anyway, I barely paid attention to the game because I was finishing editing my podcast about the cult that roams the campus, and as you could see just now, everyone hates me and I had no intention of going to that party. Yes, I know the party was for EVERYONE on campus, but no one would want to see me there, believe me! But I changed my mind when I found out that Luca would possibly be there. I had no intention of harassing him or anything, as I said in my last podcast that I used to defend myself, I just wanted to explain to him that it was all a misunderstanding and maybe then he would withdraw the complaint and understand me, I'm just a fan who loves him and his work, have you watched the last season of Plumbob Horror Story that he participated in? He only played that character because he's probably tired of being seen as the Disney Prince, that's why it was so vulgar, I wrote a review on one of my podcasts… but anyway, I knew that if I showed up at the party with a clean face everyone would humiliate me until I left, so I put on my sweatshirt, wore the hood and went in. When I went in, I heard and saw the confusion and the absurd words that Finlay was saying, and well, everyone who is a true fan and has followed Luca's entire trajectory knows why he was acting that way, and it wasn't just because of drinking or jealousy. August had auditioned for Fattoria Incantata at the time, and he was chosen to play Pedrito, but then Mr. Maglioni contacted his father, who was the scriptwriter and creator of the series, to cast Luca as Pedrito, and so August went from being the main star to a mere replacement actor, and since then he has been chasing Luca and trying to destroy everything he has. Did you know that it was August's fault that Luca and Tyler Swift's relationship ended?! Yeah, it was tense, but he and Luca are friends and songwriting partners now… Getting back to it, I did take advantage of the confusion to go to the party and watch everything. I stayed in my corner, no one saw me because I mixed in on the dance floor and I saw August leaving. So I took the opportunity to get closer to Luca and I heard Windenburg calling him to the room, and as I imagined they would go, I went up first, because I really wanted to talk to Luca. When I got up there, I was lost, there were several rooms and in one of them it seemed like there was a couple arguing, and then the door opened and I went into the first room that had the door open and I closed it. And then I saw through the crack that it had been the merciless Regina who had left the room of the closeted Daichi and he went after her still getting dressed, until he ran back to the room and also closed the door and then I saw Luca passing by, but I didn't have the courage to leave, because Daichi was at the front door and could see me. When I heard that they had locked themselves in the room and that Daichi had also completely closed the door, I waited a few more minutes and left the party really quickly before anyone noticed me, but I think they saw me… if I'm not mistaken, the crazy Goldstein and Luca's cousin, when he saw me, he frowned and came towards me and I just ran back to the dorms, I didn't see any body, I just didn't want to be caught by Luca's cousin, he's very serious and closed off, and more arrogant than any Gatti or Maglioni! I found out about August's death in the morning and decided to include his death in my podcast to make it more eye-catching, you know? And… I don't know if you've heard, I broke a listener record after this death, my listeners increased by 50% and I know it's kind of morbid, but there are some listeners wanting more deaths so that I can post more episodes! Not that I'm happy or wishing anyone dead, and I know that makes me a bit suspicious too, but what would become of the coroners if no one died, right?”

After the interrogation, Luke noticed that the girls had already outnumbered them and were shouting at each person who wasn't part of a sorority that they should be the next victim. The afternoon was beginning to arrive accompanied by a strong storm, and Luke was satisfied that Lionel had already left, he was getting ready to leave, when he bumped into a young man. At first he imagined it would be Luca, but he quickly introduced himself as Riccardo Gatti, Luke's cousin, and the detective wasted no time in asking a moment to ask him a few questions, starting a quick and revealing interrogation - and in the end, to his delight - Riccardo told Luke where he could easily find his cousin later that night.

“I can answer some questions, if you’re quick. I arrived at the party a little after Luca, and I only went so I wouldn’t leave him alone. When my cousin drinks, he loses his sense of direction a little, and Mr. Enrico asked me to keep an eye on him and take care of him while we were here. We grew up together and our relationship has always been like brothers. He may have several famous friends, but I’m Luca’s confidant. And that day he told me that he was super excited about the party, but he didn’t plan on getting with anyone because he was still getting over the end of his last relationship. When I arrived, I saw Luca drinking with Dominic and I thought: ‘damn, this isn’t going to end well’, because I know Dominic and Luca didn’t need another Johnny Zest in his life. I went to them just to let Luca know that I was there and that if he needed help, he could just call me! And I also went to have fun, and I noticed Regina talking nonsense about my cousin, I turned to her and said: 'I think your problem isn't my cousin, but your ridiculous boyfriend!' And then a conversation started among her friends that Regina should break up with Dominic, and then she looked at her cell phone and went upstairs, and… I don't want to be considered a gossiper, but she had seen a nude of Daichi and for a moment I thought that was funny, she was going to get back at her own boyfriend. And then the argument about August started, and I controlled myself so as not to go after that loser, I did go after him, but I didn't do anything, I just took the opportunity to get some air and cool off, I even bumped into a girl who is in my class, she mistook me for Luca, because everyone always says we're almost twins! And when I came back, I couldn't find my cousin and Dominic anymore, and then a boy from his fraternity… said that he had gone up with Dominic, and I started to get nervous and went to drink, because he had told me that he wouldn't be with anyone. Until I saw that idiot Lionel coming down from up there all hooded. First I was scared, because that crazy and obsessive guy, and then I got pissed and when I saw him, I was running after him, but I didn't catch him and went back. And this time Luca was talking to a guy from the team, I went up to him and said: 'Is everything okay? It's already late, tomorrow you need to wake up early to finish filming' and he replied: 'Relax, Ric, I'll sort it out with the director tomorrow!' and I proved that he wasn't drunk, because he himself said: 'If I don't show up at the studio tomorrow, there won't be a filming!' Those are the perks of being a leading man, and then there was an argument that ended with Dominic getting beaten up and for me, it was the best moment of the night. Soon after, Luca went back upstairs and that annoying Dominic followed them. I followed him just to see what he would do. When he went into the room, I continued drinking and dancing until they came in screaming that someone had died. I ran upstairs to get Luca, but I heard that they were busy and… I decided to send a message and wait downstairs until they were done and I could accompany Luca to his fraternity. I got scared when I saw that it was August, and I think it might have been that crazy Lionel, because when I saw him, August had left a few minutes ago and, coincidentally, when I ran after Lionel, I couldn't see where August was anymore. I just don't want anything you said to involve my cousin's name. Luca is not to blame for anything. Did you try to contact Luca through Simstagram?! They send that message to anyone, the team that takes care of my cousin's social media thinks that anyone just wants to have something to print and share saying that Luca replied to them, you'll easily find him at Pimenta's Pub, after midnight, because it's emptier, sometimes they open just for Luca, I'll let him know that you want to talk to him, and you can find him that night.”

Créditos: Vinny & @jakisimmer

[bizlybebo]

please use this ask to scream at me when you finish season 1 💜

I want to see your reactions

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUH HOLY SHIT.

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HIOLY HSIT.

god. so.

i finished season one at like 1am and it fucking tore me apart. i sat in silence and just stared at the wall for a HOT minute. i couldn't actually comprehend wtf i just witnessed.

and holy fuck i have some WORDS

first off.

ASHE WINTERS WHAT THE FUCK ASHE WINTERS HO YMGOD ASHE WINTERS I LOVE ASHE WINTERS MORETHAN ANYTHING ON THIS STUPID FUCKING GODFORSAKEN PLNET. SHES. SO. :((((((((((((((((((

ASHE WINTERS AND DAKOTA COLE/?? TLIKESRERJKHTAWKJR THEY WRE LITERLALY IN LOVE.

HOLY FUCK THE IMPACT THAT THIS IS GOING TO HAVE ON DAKOTA??

AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON WAVELENGTH. MARK LITERALLY LOST EVERYTHING. HIS SON. HIS FREEDOM. LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK. HOLY UFCK WHAT THE FUCK

IT'S SUCH A SUDDEN ENDING AND I LOVE/HATE IT SO MUCH. HOW SUDDEN THE LOSS IS MAKES IT FEEL THAT MUCH MORE REAL

BUT HOLY FUCK ASHEEEE. SHE MADE HTE GREATEST SACRFIICEEEEEEEEEE OH YM GODDDDDD. I GET PHYSICALLY ILL THINKING ABOUT HER. LITERALLY I WAS TELLING SAMMY THE OTHER NIGHT THAT I THOUGHT ABOUT ASHE WINTERS WHILE LISTENING TO A SAD SONG AND NEARLY THREW UP. SHES SUCH A BEAUTIFULLY PUT TOGETHER CHARACTER SHES SO FUCKING. AUTHENTIC. MY HEART BROKE A THOUSAND TIMES OVER.

THE TRICKSTER?? SO FUCKING METAL.

ASHE GAVE UP EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER FRIENDS.

SHE GAVE UP EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER FRIEDNSSSSS

SHE NEVER HAD FRIENDS BEFOREEEEE

SHE LOVED THEEEEMMM

THEY CARED ABOUT HER THEY CARED ABOUT HER THEY CARED ABOUT HER

SHE USED THE THING SHE HATED MOST ABOUT HERSELF TO SAVE EVERYBODY. SHE CARRIED HER GRIEF AROUND, LITERALLY. SHE HAD A PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF HER GRIEF IN THAT ONE PAGE OF HER BOOK, THE TRICKSTER. IT WAS ALWAYS IN HER POCKET. SHE COULD NEVER LET GO OF HER PAST CAN YOU HEAR MEEEEEEE

"IM TRYING."

"TRY HARDER."

AND SHE DID. SHE GAVE IT HER ALL.

SHEEE TRUSTED THEMMMM. SHE TRUSTED THE PRIME DEFENDERS TO TAKE CARE OF WHATEVER WAS TO COME FROM THIS.

AND WILLAIM TRIED TO BURN HER BOOK AUUAOGOUAHGOUAHGOU IM GONNA MAKE A SEPARATE POST SOON JUST ABOUT THAT BECAUSE OAOOAOOAGAGAGAGAUGHAUGAKRTEJRK HO,Y. FUCK OH MYOGD

AND DONT. GET. ME. STARTED. ON. WILLIAM. WISP.

HOLY SHIT.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

HE DIED. HE DIED AND HE CAME BACK AND HE JUST. HAS TO LIVE WITH THAT. AOGUHOAUGHAOUGHOAUGHA

AND. AUGHUHUHUHUGAHGUAHUGHUAGUHAGU HIM AND VYNCENT. FUCK I LOVE GHOSTKNIFE THEY MAKE ME SO HOMOPHOBIC.

DAKOTA COLE IS MY SHINING STAR HE IS ALL THAT IS BEAUTIFUL IN THIS WORLD AUHGUAHUUGHUG. FUCK

HE IDOLIZES HEROES SO GREATLY BUT THEY KEEP FAILING HIM. AND HES STARTING TO GET ANGRY. HES STARTING TO GET ANGRY BEACUSE HIS IDOLS WERE THERE. HIS IDOLS WERE THERE BUT THEY WERE TOO LATE. THEY SHOWED UP A MINUTE LATER, NOT A MINUTE BEFORE, THE WAY HEROES SHOULD.

AND OUGH. HOUOUUH. HIS BACKSTORY. FUCK

HE. HE. I CANT EVEN TALK ABOUT HIM I CANT PUT HIM INTO WORDS (SLASH VERY AFFECTIONATE AND POSITIVE)

"BUT I WASN'T DC BACK THEN."

"I CAN BARELY EVEN REMEMBER HER NAME. BUT I REMEMBER HER FACE."

"SHE WAS JUST A KID, TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM SOMETHING TOO."

DO YOU KNOW WHA TTHIS MEANS TO EMEEEE. WHAT HEEE MEANS TO MEEEEEEE. ADKOTA COLEEEEE. BOUCNING HIM AROUND IN MY BRAIN FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER

NEVER BEFORE HAS A CAMPAIGN MADE ME FEEL. SO MUCH. HERATBREAK AND LAUGHTER AND LOVE AND ANGUISH AND JOY.

IM IN PHYSICAL PAIN SLASH POSITIVE. THEYRE. SO. :((((

AND GOD. DEMONKICKS. FUCKCKKKCK THEY WERE IN LOVEEEEE THEY WERE IN LOVE THEY WERE IN LOVEEE

the final 40 minutes of s1 ep24 tore me apart.

absolutely nothing was resolved, but there was so little time left.

and then ashe pulled out that book, and the trickster was out, and ashe was waning, but there were only 5 minutes left.

and she was gone.

she is gone.

ashe winters is fucking gone and im actually going to cry aagain

[aftoonfamily]

Hey same anon who send the first ask abt mikes hypothetical pokemon, to add to to it, what if they (the nickit) eventually had lost a foreleg and eye (to further mirror foxy) by the time it evolved into a thievul? Maybe William forces mike to train his pokemon against his own, (which are obviously stronger, hes had them for years and years), and whenever his lopunny is 'a little too rough', he makes it seem like it's mikes fault that his pokemon got hurt, and that he should be taking better care of them, etc. Makes mike make do at home with health potions and stuff when this happens becuase it would all be over for him if a nurse joy saw. The pokemon setting introducing new, inventive ways to be a shitty parent and pet owner fr

I hate you so much how could you fucking say this to me. Nickit doesn’t deserve this :(( But they are besties and I love them. Two abused dogs deemed criminal just for being alive.

To make shit even sadder, I really want to give Evan a Cubone. The Pokémon just fits him so well. And when Evan dies, I was thinking Cubone could carry Evan’s Fredbear instead of the bone. The fella also HATED Mike after Evan was killed and would try to attack him, but little Nickit would always defend him.

I hate this this is so sad and terrible.

[scuttlingcrab]

Hi! Once you get this, please tell us 5 things you like about yourself. If you've received that already, don't mind skipping the message. You can post it to five other people you follow for them to respond :)

👀

Hello @certifieddilfenjoyer ! 🫡 Thank you for this, I usually don’t do these types of asks but you’re amazing so why the hell not!

Here we goooooo:

1) My sense of humour. I think I’m pretty funny 🤣 Sometimes. My heroes are people like Conan O’ Brien and Larry David. My humour has taught me not to take life too seriously. I like to make people laugh and feel good, so there’s nothing that brings me joy than seeing a smile or sensible chuckle from anyone lol. I will accept a “LMAO” too. 😅

2) Learning to love myself from the inside out. All my anxieties and depression and accepting every quirk and flaw I HATED when I was younger, and understanding that they make me unique. Also learning to love myself when I look in the mirror every day — I’m only going to be 32 once, and in honour of one of my favourite quotes: “I will never have this version of me again, let me slow down and be with her.” ✨

I also had a health scare in late 2020, (lmao time of my life) so just valuing being alive, and taking one day at time.

3) My writing. Really proud of some of the things I’ve started writing again since getting back into fan fiction. Thanks Raphael! 😈✨I wanted to do nothing but be a writer when I was a child but for some reason I stopped when life got in the way or when I had other hobbies and pursuits. So I’m just gosh darn happy to be here, writing again, and maybe I’ll get a book idea out of this. Maybe not! Or a film idea?! Who the hell knows! Even if it’s nothing I’ll be happy — my fan fic ain’t stopping!

4) Where I’ve come from and my career. I’m originally from America and now I live in the U.K. — I’ve been here for 5 years now and fully settled which means I can apply for dual citizenship this year. (Or when I have an extra £1500 lying around lmao, in this economy?! 😐). I always wanted to travel and live abroad but could never afford it growing up. So it blows my mind I’m here now. 😂 I also work in animation — the industry that took me away from my writing dreams! Lol! When I take a moment to step away from my computer or crippling to-do list, it’s actually pretty damn cool how far I’ve come, haha.

5) My style and range of tastes in film, music, books, obsession with Japanese culture, anime, etc., etc., I’m so weird!!! And I love it! I am obsessed with old films and have been in love with various dead men and women through out my entire life, lol. Ask me about William Powell or Katharine Hepburn, I’ll talk your ears off. I also love all types of music from Japanese Jazz, City Pop, Swing Bands like Glenn Miller, to melodic techno and hip hop like A Tribe Called Quest. Also my favourite band of all time is HAIM. 🤣

Thanks again for sending this to me — now back to obsession about Raphael. 😏✨🪦

[blametheeditor]

Tempting Fate | Chapter 1

Run Down: The disappearance of Fazbear Entertianment's original owners has left the company declining with every year. Afton Robotics is out of business, only one location is in operation, and night guards have been disappearing. But why should Mike Schmidt care? He wouldn't, if it wasn't for the fact he was dragged kicking and screaming back into the center of it all.

Content Warnings: Cursing. Body horror. Gore. Mentions of death and murder. Darker themes and tones

Canon lore, in this household?!

___________________________

The more Scott has been turned to when it comes to making decisions for Fazbear Entertainment, the more he’s faced with the fact he never had a clue how it worked in the first place. 

Granted, he was never supposed to. Help out wherever he can of course, but never run the business. This is Henry and William’s pride and joy. Something they wanted to share with the people they love and care for, but always at a distance. Because friends and family always get messy when dealing with money. 

So where the hell are the actual owners.

Trust him, Scott has tried everything in order to get in contact with Henry and William. He should’ve stopped a while ago, a few years to be exact if he’s being completely honest with himself, but he holds onto the hope they will come after disappearing off the face of the earth. Especially when Henry came to him even though they barely knew each other. Scott was William’s best friend, however, so that meant he could be trusted. 

Trusted to look after the business until they could return, in which he would willingly sign everything back over to them. But it’s been five years. William disappeared two years before that. Henry disappeared two years after making Scott the sole owner. Absolutely no sign either of them will ever return. 

Scott sighs as he slumps in his chair, head tilted back to stare at the ceiling. Taking advantage of the very few moments where he can just be alone with his thoughts. They are dangerous, however, so maybe it’s a blessing he rarely has them. 

Because he starts thinking about selling the company. Or at the very least signing it over to someone who actually knows how to run a business in the children industry. Maybe even just leaving without a word. 

He never wanted this. William would be disappointed in how his best friend has been caring for the thing that kept him going after that horrific day. 

Scott jolts as a knock suddenly echos through his office, confused before jumping out of his chair to answer it when he remembers Jeremy is working a shift. 

“Hello, hello,” he greets. Expecting an angry parent telling him about an incident that at minimum involved cussing in front of children, at maximum there being a fistfight. Possibly one of the waiters or cooks telling him there’s yet another thing needing to be fixed. 

It’s neither. Instead there’s a young man standing nervously at his door, hood pulled up to cover his features. 

“Sorry for interrupting, Uncle Scott,” reveals who it is, however. Despite the shaking voice and acting like the police will come knocking at any moment, a bright smile spreads across Scott’s face. 

“You never interrupt, Mike,” the sandy haired man says earnestly. That earns him the head tilting back to show familiar features near identical to his father’s. Something Mike hated for a while considering the constant comments of looking like William Afton even after he did everything to erase those connections. At least those have all since gone away with the eldest Afton himself gone. “Come in, before someone drags me into something.” 

The young man smiles as he quickly walks into the office. Scott doesn’t miss the fact it doesn’t reach Mike’s eyes, meaning he opens his arms for a hug once the door’s locked. One that’s immediately accepted, even if it mostly one sided as he’s simply leaned into. 

“I take it your trip didn’t go well?” Scott asks. 

Mike takes a sharp inhale of breath. Holds it before sighing long and loud. “No, no it didn’t.” 

“Would you like to talk about it?” 

Instead of a huff and sarcastic ‘no, that’s definitely not why I came here in the first place’, Mike only gently breaks the hug. Blue eyes refusing to meet Scott’s worried gaze. 

“...something happened at the sister location.” 

God, please don’t tell him his nephew really is running from law enforcement. 

There’s a few moments of silence. Of Mike wanting to say more, but not being able to. Scott then gently pushes the young man into one of the chairs. Doesn’t try and coax the story out, simply walks over to the coffee machine he installed strictly to avoid needing to leave the room in order to refill his fifth mug for the day, starts up a fresh pot. They both sit in silence as the sounds and smell of coffee brewing fill the room. 

This was something William never understood with Michael. He might’ve loved his son, but the man didn’t realize the kid didn’t talk about his thoughts and feelings like the eldest Afton did and could. Michael needed a moment to be able to just sit and think before talking about something like wanting his dad to be at home more often. Or get out the words for an apology. 

Scott wishes he could’ve done more before. If he knew the problems going on in the Afton household, maybe he could’ve stopped everything from happening. If he had, William most likely wouldn’t have disappeared, and Mike would still be an Afton. 

He can’t go back in time. But he can certainly help now. 

Mike finally takes a deep breath before clearing his throat. “The Funtimes are all destroyed.” 

Scott doesn’t let any emotion show at the news. Mike had said he would be going to Afton Robotics to shut it all down. Said he thought about it for a long time, and even though that was William’s last known project, there weren’t any good memories attached to the animatronics. There wasn’t anything to do with them either, not with Circus Baby’s Pizza World having been shut down several years ago. 

He’s not disappointed, far from it. Scott can’t lie and say it doesn’t send a shot through his heart knowing something his best friend worked on is gone forever, though. But that isn’t what Mike needs, so he doesn’t voice his feelings. There’s still Fazbear Entertainment after all. 

“I actually debated not going through with shutting everything down. Especially with how long the elevator ride was. Gave me a lot of time to just...think. But then it just got weird. Like crawling through vents weird. I know Afton Robotics was barely hanging on, but...it was so much worse than I thought it’d be.” 

Scott allows a confused expression. He had heard the same thing about there being quite a few problems, especially considering it was his own signature that pulled the plug of no longer letting the Funtimes get rented out anymore. He made sure there was at least one person visiting it weekly to make sure the facility was still running, but there wasn’t a lot of money to spare with upkeep. Yet he was never given a report about needing to crawl through vents in order to get to other areas. Hopefully Mike wasn’t doing it without actually needing to. 

“The worst part was the Funtimes didn’t act like the other animatronics,” Mike murmurs, eyes locked on the ground as he remembers. “It was surreal, Uncle Scott. Instead of just playing recorded lines, they were taunting me. And HandUnit actually betrayed me. Like, multiple times.” 

Now he’s getting worried. Scott knows this must’ve been a big shock for Mike. Such a big decision and the subsequent actions that’d need to be taken no matter what was chosen would be hard on anyone, and for the young man even more so given his past. But the animatronics built to entertain children taunting him? The AI designed by William to help perform any assigned duties betraying him? These are nothing but robots. It’s not possible for such things to happen. 

It’s honestly a little concerning. And it only makes it worse when Scott realizes that Mike sounds like Jeremy whenever the man starts spouting off conspiracy theories about the animatronics coming to life to kill the night guards for revenge. 

“Something happened when I scooped the last one,” his nephew continues before it can be asked when was the last time he slept. “She, it- I can’t even explain. I, I-I changed.” 

Scott stares into Mike’s eyes as they tear up. Glances down for a moment at shaking hands held out pleadingly. The poor kid looking lost, hopeless. 

That’s when he realizes this must’ve been such an emotional toll. To hate your father is one thing. To destroy his life’s work is another. Even though it may have seemed like the best thing to do and it wasn’t done out of revenge, it’s something that would tear anyone with a kind heart in half. And Michael has always been that kind of person no matter what his past says. 

It makes him feel ten times better knowing Mike isn’t being hunted down by the law. And yet the young man not knowing if he made the right decision can arguably be worse. Because Scott can post bail and hire the greatest lawyer in the state. He can’t fix a broken soul. 

“You know there’s nothing that could possibly happen to make me not love you, Mike,” Scott confides. 

There’s a moment of silence until Mike visibly relaxes. “I know. I know. I just, how would anyone react to someone getting their insides ripped out and replaced with a sentient machine?” 

Well that’s...certainly one way to put how Mike feels. 

“I might not have felt exactly like that before” Scott chuckles. “Mostly just my heart being ripped out, but this was never going to be easy. I know it feels like there’s a big hole inside you, but I’m really proud of you, Mike.” 

Scott blinks when it almost looks like his nephew’s eyes turn violet for a moment, but it disappears in an instant. Hopefully color changing contacts aren’t becoming a trend or else he’ll start thinking he’s seeing things. 

“No, I don’t feel like I’ve changed, I am literally some fucked up cyborg zombie,” Mike almost pleads as he gestures to himself. “I’m not human.” 

Scott hesitates, worried he might accidentally upset his nephew. This isn’t the first time Mike has called himself a monster. Though giving a detailed description on the exact type is new. But it’s been years since the last talk, and facing such a horrible past all over again is hard to endure, especially alone. It resurfaces all of the painful memories that have long since been healed, but the scars never leave. 

“You’re not a monster, Mike.” 

The young man looks like he’s been electrocuted. There’s a long moment of silence as he watches Scott for a moment. Suddenly looks down at the ground as his voice goes soft. “Even if everyone else says I am?” 

“Yes,” is his immediate response. Just like every time before when he was asked. “They don’t know the whole story. They don’t know you. And if you are saying it, you need to remember you’re wrong.” 

“I swear you actively try to make me cry every time I talk to you. Cruel and unusual punishment,” his nephew grouses after a moment. Not happy, but not as tense. Almost completely relaxed compared to when he first entered the office. Sounds more like himself. 

“That’s my job,” the sandy haired man smiles. “How good did I do this time?” 

“You failed, eyes aren’t even misty.” 

“Don’t challenge me, Mike.” 

“Or what, old man,” earns him the smirk he’s been waiting for. “Seems like you’ve lost your edge.” 

Scott rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t even trying and you were already complaining.” 

“Critiquing,” Mike corrects. “So, I heard your night guards keep quitting.” 

That’s just wonderful. If the person who actively tries his hardest not to hear any news on how Fazbear Entertainment is loosing employees left and right, then that means the entire country knows Scott has no idea what he’s doing. 

“Do you actually want to know, or just making small talk?” 

“I actually want to know.” 

Scott doesn’t know if it’s a good thing for Mike to genuinely be interesting in his father’s company, or a really bad one. The only issue is it always having been impossibly hard to tell what the young man’s emotions are from expressions alone. Hopefully this wasn’t spawned out of guilt. 

“I don’t know what changed. A year ago, everything was fine. But recently people have just been quitting during their shifts. I’ve done everything I could think of to stop the excessive turn over, try to contact them and ask if there were any incidents. Yet it’s like they just vanish.” 

Scott swears Mike’s eyes actually turn violet this time as the young man straightens up. “Need someone on the inside to check it out for you?” 

What? 

“No one knows we’re associated,” Mike shrugs, because Scott does nothing to hide his genuine shock from the suggestion. That’s also not why his jaw is on the floor and his nephew knows it. “No one could guess either since we didn’t come from the same family tree. I’ll join the night shift and see what’s going on.” 

“Who are you and what have you done with Mike?” 

Scott actually grows a little worried when he’s given a humorless loud laugh. “Oh, this isn’t to help Fazbear’s. This just gets me unsupervised access with the animatronics.” 

“You will not destroy our only working animatronics!” 

“But I got a taste for destroying robots designed to entertain children!” 

“And that’s the only taste you get!” Scott exclaims, hoping Mike is just trying to get him riled up it’s not an actual threat it was promised a degree in engineering would be used for good God damn it. “I swear to God you will regret it if you get within ten feet of them!” 

“Attach a screwdriver to a fifteen foot pole, got it,” Mike grins. He’s quick to lift his hands up in surrender as a death glare is aimed. “If it’d really help you, I don’t mind joining the shift. Promise not to touch the animatronics.” 

Scott hesitates at the serious tone. At Mike looking genuine to fulfill the favor if it’s accepted. Concerned just how much of a toll it was going to the sister location. If there’s truth in the AI turning against any employee that went down there, or if it was just stress making it bigger than it really was. 

“You know you can just say you missed me.” 

“Pass. I prefer keeping my promise of giving you a heart attack one day.” 

Scott pulls Mike into another hug. “Well I missed you.” 

He knew there wouldn’t be any words said back, but a hand gently pats his back to say the sentiment is shared. And for once, the young man let’s him have as long of a moment as he wants. So he takes it. Happy to finally have Mike home. Away from anything that can hurt him without Scott there to help. 

“What do you think about starting this Friday?” Scott asks, still not making any move to end the hug. When Mike realizes his generosity is being taken advantage of, the standing figure turns into an almost limp one. The sandy haired man only hugs tighter so escape is impossible. “You will need to be trained, so you’ll be working with Fritz for a week, but I think you’ll like him. He’s the only one who’s stayed for more than a month.” 

“I can last a week and give you a report at the end of it.” 

“You’re my favorite nephew.” 

“I’m your only one, old man,” Mike grumbles. “Now free me, I want to steal a pizza from the kitchen before heading home.” 

“Please don’t take one that’s going to a table.” 

“No promises.” 

Scott sighs as he finally frees Mike. Smiles down at the young man. “Go order a pizza and say you’re a new hire so they won’t charge you. I’ll get the paperwork taken care of so you’re set for Friday.” 

“Thanks boss.” 

“And I will be asking Fritz if you so much as look at the animatronics!” 

Mike gives his uncle the middle finger as he exits the office. Carefully closes the door. Groans softly as he puts his forehead against the wall. 

Well that could’ve gone better. 

I warned he wouldn’t believe you.

The sentient machine currently acting as his internal organs doesn’t have to rub it in. He knew it’d sound too farfetched to immediately be taken seriously, but Mike thought Scott would laugh at him. Not think he’s being metaphorical. How would he know the old man would immediately get sentimental instead of panicked! 

Then again, it might be for the better. Scott looks tired and on the edge of wiping his hands clean of everything. Mike doesn’t want to add something else to top it all off. And learning his nephew had his guts scooped out might actually kill him. 

Nope, he’d rather have his uncle by his side even if the full situation isn’t known. Because he loves Scott. Would do anything for the man, including working for his father’s company after swearing to never step foot in a Fazbear location if he didn’t need to. 

That just means he has to figure out the whole never going within fifty feet of a metal detector on his own. Great. 

I can answer any questions you have.

Yeah, he’d rather pass. He’s not trusting spaghetti wires with anything, including the assumption all information given to be truthful. 

Mike takes a deep breath. Brushes back his black hair to fix his hood to make sure it covers most of his face since he learned the hard way certain lighting reveals the fact he’s a zombie. Finally turns away from Scott’s office to make his way to the kitchen. 

Is forced to pull himself up short as a slightly taller figure steps in front of him. Wants to snap how irresponsible it is to assume someone doesn’t have inhuman strength and could accidentally kill them if he hadn’t stopped in time. 

Mike holds his tongue, looking up at a man with curly brown hair. Only glances at odd scares decorating his forehead before raising an eyebrow. “Can I help you?” 

As if he doesn’t look extremely suspicious walking around a children's restaurant after coming in through the back door while actively trying to hide his face. 

“I know what you are.” 

Mike’s blood runs cold...or was that replaced with oil. Ask that later, give attitude now. “Excuse me?” 

“I know what you are,” the man repeats ominously, grey eyes seeming to stare right into Mike’s soul. “And I’m only going to say this once. Fuck with Scott, and you’ll have to deal with me.” 

So the ‘what’ was intentional. He thought he was recognized as an Afton but no, it’s worse. Someone knows he’s not human. How, he doesn’t know, but it seems like his secret is safe as long as he doesn’t fuck with Scott. Which, depending on the definition, might be an issue. 

How does a complete stranger believe it though if they did find out? Not even Scott took him seriously. 

“Oh I’m sorry, is it Freddy tradition to try and intimidate new hires, or are you just an asshole?” 

“Both,” the man smirks. “If you can’t handle it though, then you won’t last a goddamn week.” 

“Well unless your name is Fritz, I won’t be seeing you anytime soon,” Mike growls as he walks away. “Nice meeting you, dick.” 

“Nice knowing you, bastard.” 

And ouch, the randomly chosen moniker hits a little too close to home. Such a wonderful cherry on top of everything else. 

He tries to shrug it off. Walks up to the counter and orders meat lover’s pizza instead of snatching a pizza waiting to be taken to a table. Waits in the corner despite the fact he look suspicious as all hell. Too drained to really care. 

...how did he know? 

The operation was not recorded. Via video, audio, or observation. 

Oh, fascinating. It’s not like someone can’t take one good look at him and realize yep, that’s a walking corpse. 

He may know you aren’t human, but it’s impossible for him to know the details.

Oh. Okay, fine, that’s a good point. Meaning there’s no proof to be spread around if Mike makes an enemy of the man. He has no intentions of ever talking to him again. Though, if he was protective of Scott, there might be discussions concerning the weird new hire. Ones that makes his uncle realize Mike meant it when he said literally. 

So, hypothetically, what can the robot inside him do? 

We can go over the blueprints you took from Afton Robotics.

Guess it’s a date.

[sowingseedsandshootinghoops]

Love Without Freedom: Dysfunctional Families

Note on the text: I used D.H. Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers as published by Penguin Books in 1994

This is one of the most realistic and psychologically complex depictions of an emotionally unhealthy relationship between a mother and her son. While Mrs. Morel is definitely not a traditionally abusive woman, she is an extremely unhappy one. As a result of that she decides to pour all of her energy into her kids (especially her son, Paul) and forms her life around them in such a way that it creates an unhealthy dynamic between her and her kids.

​This is a beautiful book about a deeply dysfunctional family. When we first meet Gertrude and Walter Morel it’s clear that they are a match made in Hell. That whatever their feelings for each other might have been in the past, those feelings have long since died. Mrs. Morel is an extremely unhappy woman for whom the “world seemed a dreary place, where nothing else would happen for her” (13). While her husband isn’t an evil man per say, they are ill suited for each other and serve, despite their best intentions, to aggravate each other. However they have four children (Paul, Arthur, William, and Annie) who are the absolute apples of her eye, especially Paul, and she makes them into the center of her universe. No matter what else was going on in her life, she knew that she always “had the children” (25). Everything comes to head when she tells her husband that she is only staying with him for the sake of the children:

And I would’, she cried, suddenly shaken into tears of impotence. ‘Ah, wouldn’t I, wouldn’t I have gone long, long ago but for those children. Aye, haven’t I repented not going years ago [when] I’d only had the one’- suddenly drying into rage. ‘Do you think it’s for you I stop- do you think I’d top one minute for you’.

‘Go then’, he shouted beside himself. ‘Go!’

‘No!’ She faced round. ‘No’, she cried loudly. ‘You shan’t have it all your way. You shan’t do all you like. I’ve got those children to see to. My word’- she laughed- ‘I should look well to leave them to you’

‘Go!’ He cried thickly lifting his fist. He was afraid of her. ‘Go!’

‘I should only be too- I should laugh, laugh, my lord if I could get away from you’” (33).

Although she loves all her children, she has an especially close relationship with Paul. In fact, it’s when Paul is born that we start to see the fanatical, obsessive, quality of her love take shape. As much as she hates her husband, and the world at large, she decides when Paul is born that “with all her force, with all her soul, she would make it [up to Paul] for having brought him into [an unloving world]. She would love [him] all the more now that [he] was here, [she would] carry [him] in her love” (51). And therein lies the problem. Kids are meant to grow up and make their own way in the world. They can’t be children forever. They have to grow up and make their own way in the world. They leave their parents behind, in some way, and create their own lives. However, the vice grip which Mrs. Morel has on the emotional lives of her children, makes it impossible for her to really let them go. This becomes obvious when Paul accepts a job offer in London, far away from her:

It never occurred to him that she might be more hurt at his going away, than glad at his success. Indeed as the days drew near for his departure, her heart began to close and grow dreary with despair. She loved him so much. More than that, she hoped on him so much. [She almost] lived by him. She liked to do things for him: she liked to put a cup for his tea and to iron his collars, of which he was so proud. It was a joy to her to have him proud of his collars. There was no laundry. She used to rub at them with her little convex iron, to polish them, till they shone from the sheer pressure of her arm. Now she would not do that for him. Now he was going away. She felt almost as if he [was] going as well out of her heart. He did not seem to leave her inhabited with herself. Tha was the grief and the pain to her. He [was taking] nearly all of himself away (78-79).

​Again later, when Paul falls in love with, and wants to marry, Miriam, Gertrude finds herself complaining that Miriam is taking Paul away from her and that she is “not like an ordinary woman who can leave me my share in him” (230). Even now, she doesn’t know how to let Paul go. And Paul is starting to resent her.

​Paul starts sensing that his relationships (with both Miriam and later Clara) is hurting his mom and he starts resenting her for it. He doesn’t understand why she can’t just be happy for him, and instead he feels guilty for having unintentionally hurt her: “Paul hated her because, somehow, she spoilt his ease and naturalness” (217). It’s natural that he should fall in love, it’s natural that he should want to live a happy life, and he resents the fact that his mother cannot allow him to do so. It’s only once he breaks off his engagements with both Miriam and Clara that he starts to get a sense of just how emotionally unhealthy his relationship with his mother is. Which is why he tells her that he “shall never meet the right woman while she is alive” (395). Unfortunately, he winds up being more right than he intended to be. He breaks off both engagements as a result of the emotional pressure resulting from his relationship with his relationship with his mother, which means that when she dies he is alone.

​This is a great, realistic depiction of an unhealthy relationship between a mother and her son. She clings to him so tightly that at the end she winds up destroying everything, including that relationship. In order for love to flourish it has to be free, otherwise it dies. This even applies, to some extent, to a mother-son relationship. Mrs. Morel wasn’t willing to give Paul the freedom that he needed and that, in the end was what did them both in: she, in a very real way, lost her relationship with him. There’s a lesson to be learned in that for every person, in every walk of life.

[seanssimsblog]

"An Addition to the Family" - 1842

Approaching the third year of the century, Reginald and Nora continue to grow their love for one another, making up for the lost time.

Nora's literacy and academic knowledge have greatly improved around this time with Michelle's help, and her faith continues to grow with the help of Darren. She's been helping Reginald with reading and writing, although catching onto things takes him a while. Darren and Reginald's bond grows as they share extensive common knowledge in agriculture and cultivation. Nora is in her. 16th chapter of her book. She plans to stop at 19 chapters to signify the turn of the 19th century in which she gained freedom.

While on her way to the market, Michelle came across a sheet of a gossip newsletter that read that Aspen, the daughter of Parker and Amalia Howell, had run from home at midnight dressed in layers of clothing, with the possession of three horse carriages. The carriages appeared to have had some negro passengers who were seated in the back of each. She was also seen with two shotguns in hand. Incredibly in shock, Michelle rushes back home to relay the message to the rest of the household. "She did what now??" Nora asked, "What a courageous young woman she is!" Darren exclaimed. "Oh and she's got some heat in her hands too, I'd hate to be the sucker that gets in her way!" Michelle says, making the others laugh.

"I wonder who the negro passengers were??... wait a minute, could it have been... slaves? Their slaves??" Zachariah, questions. "I think so, Zach. The Howells owned eight other slaves, including us; one passed away. God rest his soul. Aspen has always made it clear that she was different. I always saw that there was something special about the girl ever since she was a lil' baby. Something pure," Nora says. "Well, may God bless and keep them on their journey... the church will certainly be praying for them," Darren adds. "Do you think she went up North?" Michelle questions, "Wherever they are, I just hope she takes good care of 'em," Reginald says." I wish my ol' buddy William could've held out a little longer. He could've been right along with them in that carriage ride, ya know? He's probably somewhere watching over em'. Makin' sure they have safe travels..." Reginald says as Nora goes to embrace him.

As nine months spilled into the first couple of months of 1802, Nora gave birth to a baby boy named Reginald McNeil Howell Jr., named after his father and the family who helped Nora and Reginald find their freedom. Nora had a successful home birth, assisted by Joclyn, who is training to become a midwife. Over the course of nine months, Nora wrote every experience down into her book, including the new birth.

The two new parents immediately began to welcome the new bundle of joy into their love. Reginald especially becomes infatuated with his new son, determined to never have him experience the shackles of slavery but to grow and become his own man.

Nora and Reginald embrace each other, uniting in love with their new family.

[sodascherrycola]

Instagram Intros (James Barnes’ Kids)

James Grant Barnes Jr.

DOB: May 24th 1938 DOD: September 18th 1959 (21 years old) Hometown: Brooklyn, New York Nicknames: Jack, Jamie S/O: Isobel Stratton Kids: Henry and Wesley Best Friend(s): Alexander Rogers and Theodore Preston Aesthetic: He was very secluded guy, didn’t talk much and didn’t want to. His mother never understood because he was always running around so much, just assumed he was too busy in his head. When he was a young boy and his father went off to war, he wanted to be just like him. Brave, Strong, and Patriotic. When he got drafted however everything he thought he wanted was gone like that. He was suddenly that quiet shy little boy he used to be. He died when he was 21 clutching a locket with his wife and mama in it.

Thomas Michael Barnes

DOB: February 14th 1942 Age: 81 years old Hometown: Brooklyn, New York Nicknames: Tom, Tommy S/O: Sylvia Carter Kids: Emily, Hannah, and Jamie Best Friend(s): Phillip Rogers, John Desmond, and William Banks Aesthetic: Thomas was the complete opposite of his older brother. He was loud and couldn’t sit still. He was his father’s son alright. He used to follow his dad to the garage and try to sit without fidgeting while his dad worked. The only way his father could see his son sit down and pay attention is when he was helping him with the cars that were brought in, that or shoving plastic magnets on his father metal arm to see if they’d stick. Bucky would chose the first one.

Matthew Everett Barnes

DOB: December 25th 1946 Age: 77 years old Hometown: Brooklyn, New York Nicknames: Matt, Matty S/O: Hattie Evans Kids: Jocelyn and Evelyn Best Friend(s): Robert Rogers Aesthetic: Matthew was a direct cause of Bucky’s first night back from war. His mother absolutely loved it. He was her little angel baby. Made from love and joy as she would say. Matthew hated that. Though he was very close to his mother of course. He would follow her anywhere. She had to go to the butcher for dinner? Matty’s coming to. She needed to tidy up the house before his father came home from his 9-5? Matty was right there picking up next to her. He loved and admired everything she did without question. The only thing he “hated” about her was that she would only ever call him Matthew, and if she was present, correct everyone else too. “You were named after the bible Matthew, so help me god if I hear one more person call you Matt or Matty I’ll slap them silly” she’d say. Bucky thought it was silly, but he was too scared to say anything of course. “Wives are scary son, you’ll understand when you’re older. You know how if you’re bad mama’ll take away your toys? She does the same thing to your ol’ man an-” “JAMES YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!” “...See?”

Russell Alistair Barnes

DOB: July 22nd 1950 DOD: October 3rd 1970 (20 years old) Hometown: Brooklyn, New York Nicknames: Russ S/O: No One Kids: None Best Friend(s): Clara Rogers Aesthetic: Russell was never really a troublemaker growing up. Never really had any friends, except for Clara Rogers, and he supposes her little brother Timmy, because he followed them everywhere. He always liked Clara, of course he would never say it aloud. Beg his mother to sit next to Clara at church, her only agreeing because his father told her to. Little did he know Clara liked him too. She would tell her friends everything about him, they started to get annoyed. They were each other’s first everything. First kiss, First makeout, First time. Yet they both said that they were only friends. Insisted really. When Russell got drafted for the Vietnam War they both held each other and cried. Neither one confessed their love for the other. That was until October 3rd 1970, when Russell got a letter from Clara herself, explaining how much she loved and adored him. He died that afternoon, letter in his army jacket. Clara almost killed herself. Then she met Harry. She named her son after her first love.

Holly Elizabeth Barnes

DOB: November 28th 1952 Age: 71 years old Hometown: Brooklyn, New York Nicknames: Holls, Dolly S/O: Jacob Stevens Kids: Hailey, Lauren, Penelope, and Jessica Best Friend(s): Rachel Borne and Queenie Macks Aesthetic: Holly and Bucky were inseparable. From the very beginning when he held his first daughter in his arms he was enamored. He didn’t mind playing dolls or having tea parties, in fact he loved having a fresh air from his rowdy boys. Of course he loved his sons very much and loved spending time with them, but something about playing dress up with his little girl sent him over the moon. Holly would always run around singing and dancing with her father while her mother smiled and filmed her home tapes for memories. Bucky loved to take Holly on little father daughter dates, pulling her out of school so they could go to their local diner and go dancing after like he did with her mother. He could never be ripped from his little Holly Dolly.

Kevin Christopher Barnes

DOB: August 24th 1956 DOD: January 4th 1975 (19 years old) Hometown: Brooklyn, New York Nicknames: Kev, Kacey S/O: Alison May Kids: None Best Friend(s): Ricky Wells and Marcus Little Aesthetic: Kevin was the biggest mama’s boy there ever was. Bigger than Thomas even. All the girls were infatuated with Marilyn’s boy, with his big brown eyes and southern manners & charm. No one ever caught his eye like Alison May though. She was the daughter of one of his mother’s church friends and they hit it off quick. As quick as it started though, it ended just as quickly. He was only 18 when he signed up for the war. He got in. Kevin always said he was going to finish was his brother couldn’t. He looked up to them in every way possible. He was very close to his older brother Russell, who died when he was 14 years old. That’s when he knew it was his destiny. He hated to leave his mama, after all she lost due to wars. Her husband was never the same after the war he endured, she lost two of her babies as well. He didn’t want to put his mama through it again, and promised to make her proud. He died thinking she must’ve hated him for signing his life away so easily, the life she had made and carried with her. Little did he know, she made him prouder than ever.

Jesse David Barnes

DOB: August 24th 1956 Age: 67 years old Hometown: Brooklyn, New York Nicknames: Jess, Jay, JJ S/O: Mary Peterson Kids: Jennifer, Cameron, Oliver, and Tyler Best Friend(s): Timothy Rogers Aesthetic: Jesse and his twin brother Kevin were as close as can be. They could be seen anywhere together. His mother thought it was the cutest thing she had ever seen in her whole life. When they were little she used to dress them as identical as they were, so bad his daddy had to write their initials on each piece of clothing like a tag so he wouldn’t mix em’ up. As they got older they grew apart. Started hanging with different crowds and their personalities crashed a lot. Kevin was seen as the “good” kid who did nothing wrong and was god’s gift to the world, it make Jesse sick, because for everything Kevin did good, he did wrong. They fought constantly as they got older. His parents couldn’t make sense of it. They went from being two peas in a pod, to barely ever speaking together while still sharing a room. Jesse was the first one to know about Kevin’s plan to sign up for the army. He yelled and screamed at him, “How could you be that stupid Kevin!? Are you really that dense? Or do you just think this’ll give ya more dumb praise?! You aren’t special Kevin! You are just like everyone else! Mama only likes you cause you listen to everything she says! You ain’t your own self, your a copy of her! And it’ll kill her if you go off and die like the other two!” Kevin didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how jealous Jesse really was. He didn’t know how easy he had it from his parents. He didn’t understand how Jesse couldn’t even say there brothers names. He left for war 2 weeks later. Jesse wishes it didn’t end like that.

Julia Winifred Barnes

DOB: November 11th 1959 Age: 64 years old Hometown: Brooklyn, New York Nicknames: Jules, Julie S/O: Sean O'Connor Kids: Mallory and Mitchell Best Friend(s): Allison Marx, Andrea Jones, and Lori Richardson Aesthetic: Julie was your typical teenage girl. Loved partying and boys, her father couldn’t stand it. She was her mother’s daughter. Loved playing rich girl, loved playing cat and mouse with the local boys, just like Marilyn did when she was young. She admired her parents love story and begged her mama to tell her how they met each and every night before bed. She wanted a man just like her daddy to love and hold each night. It was very old fashioned but she was a hopeless romantic. She tried to find it in every boy she ever met, and she had many heartbreaks and many talks with her daddy about how he can’t talk to any of them because they restraining orders against him. Julie finally met Sean. Bucky didn’t like Sean at first, I mean no one was good enough for his Little Julie, but I digress. Sean was the first guy that Julie met that truly reminded her of her father and she made sure to never let him go.

[angelwiththeblue-box]

aight so here's the thing

episode six, "the sound of her wings" is important to me for three reasons. one i've just thought of and is comic related so i'll get to that later.

FIRST!

its portrayal of death. not only is she a black woman, she is also endlessly kind. in most media, death is portrayed as either evil or resentful. always coming to take us away in our prime, or hating us for making them do their job, face all these upset people. and here's the thing -- Death of the Endless had a phase like that. she talks about it in e6. she says that she used to think she had the hardest job of all of them (being the endless), and that she was always so upset by it. she felt forever alone, like she had to do her job all on her own. but then she came to a realisation -- one that most portrayals of death are never seen reaching.

she realised that not only is her duty inevitable, she can also make it beautiful. they are so afraid to enter the sunless realms, she says, and she isn't there to make it worse. in the end, all we need is a kind smile and an outstretched hand. neither of them (death or the dead) are alone.

SECOND!

god. just. hob gadling's whole thing. disregarding the dreamling, his entire storyline is amazing. he's a human being gifted immortality. what could go wrong?

the first time they meet up, in 1489, you have expectations -- the same ones dream has. you expect hob to be begging for death, because that's what's been shown to us. every piece of media that shows someone being given immortality has them inevitable on their knees begging to be taken to the sunless lands. so that's what you expect of hob.

but when dream asks him what he thinks of the world, of his extended life, what does hob say?

"it's fucking brilliant!" he's amazed by how far they've come in so little time. he's so madly in love with the world around him. (also, the way the sCORE PICKS UP WHEN HE SAYS IT IS FUCKING WICKED)

the next time we see him, in 1589, he's a bit of a prick. he's rich and he's mean and he wants dream's attention -- attention that he doesn't get. not much to say about this one except that it's where hob's eternal hatred of william shakespeare began.

but 1689. oooh boy. golly gee. my oh my. i have SO MUCH TO SAY about this one.

in 1689, hob gadling comes crawling into the white horse tavern, starving, having hated every moment of the last eighty years. he is at his lowest -- lower than he was when he started out. do you know how hungry you can get? when you can't eat but you can't die?

and dream, so sure of himself, so sure he'll prove his sister wrong, asks this starving, dirty, 300 year old man in so much pain if he wishes to die, yet.

and what does hob say?

"are you crazy? death is a mug's game. i've got so much left to live for!"

and. oh my god. i cried when i got to this part today. because. there is a reason why such a popular headcanon for him is as hope of the endless (forgiving the lack of alliteration).

he has been beaten and bloody and starving. he's lost everyone he's ever known. his wife and unborn child at the same time. his son.

dream is offering him escape. he's giving him a way out of it all.

but hob still hopes. he still finds joy. he still knows that things can change on the head of a pin. he still wants to live.

theres 200 more years but honestly i just wanted to talk about 1689

also in 1889 he tells dream he doesnt think he'll ever want to die which is like. HHHHHHHHH YES

point is, e6 (and death and hob's storyline beyond that) breaks down two very prominent media tropes - evil death and begging for death. it's important to me.

and THIRDLY

in the comics, dream is the one narrating death's bit of e6 and he marks down every time she takes a soul to the sunless lands as "the sound of her wings" and its SO GOOD because it doesn't focus on anything except the transportation. he doesn't hear the pleading or sobbing or cursing. he comments on the sound of his sister doing her job as best she can and nothing else. something special about that to me

GOD YES I LOVE THIS