#Why is she like this? :')

[magnesiumxp]

these blank plushies existing was a mistake i have too much power now

[aaandbackstabbed]

Goldie: I made tea

Scrooge: oh I don’t want tea

Goldie: I didn’t make tea for you. This is my tea.

Scrooge: then why are you telling me?

Goldie: it’s a conversation starter.

Scrooge: it’s a very lousy conversation starter.

Goldie: well we’re conversing aren’t we? Checkmate.

[canyousonicme]

You're so wrong for this, Alex. 😅 Happy, happy birthday! | 11.3.1963

[huntervioletbaudelair]

MC after breaking into Zayne's house: aww he's asleep, I should take a picture of him

Me: girl, no!

[queensnitchy]

Bruh my friend just sent me how male deers only live to about 20 years old some about 6 years from a college project. And I went okay and? And she went

Just like James potter

I'm done with friends

Like James even did the animagus spell 6 years before he died he did it at 15 then died at 21 THATS LIKE SIX YEARS WTH IM DONE

[welcometoaurorashell]

I’m trying to do laundry! And she deadass just sits there right on my clothes

I NEED TO FOLD MY DAMN CLOTHES

[lifewithdedee]

[reasonsilovemywife]

She told me a joke last night

Her: Why didn’t the two tampons didn’t talk to each other? Me: ..... (dreading what’s about to happen) .... why? Her:  They were both stuck up cunts ...... dead.  I’m dead.  Services will be held Sunday.  In lieu of flowers, please donate to your local animal shelter or food bank.

[congregamus]

Last week, Sunday work was *very* bumpy. This week, I was at maximum powers.

[pangur-and-grim]

one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."

I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.

[bakedbananners]

it cracks me up that tatsu wanted dandadan to strictly have just a girl main character but he eventually caved and was like. fine I’ll put a boy. but I’m taking his balls away.

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[inkskinned]

the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.

when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."

but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.

now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.

the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.

but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."

the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.

but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?

because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!

and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.

[soothedcerberus]

Does anybody remember Dragon Tales? 🥺

[eonars]

Last summer I was on a very expedited acid come up at a music festival and my entirely unaware mother thousands of miles away was at costco and texted me incredulous at how they already had halloween stuff out for sale in the summer but all I saw was a message preview of a giant 10 foot tall skeleton with glowing eyes and "can u believe it??"

[nataliescatorccio]

"Originally it was not called 'Good Luck, Babe!', it was called 'Good Luck, Jane!", but my co-writer and I kept getting in arguments about it, so it became 'Good Luck, Babe!'." CHAPPELL ROAN on 'Good Luck, Babe!'