#Why do so many Black women die in pregnancy?

[ausetkmt]

Chapter One

Why do so many Black women die in pregnancy? One reason: Doctors don't take them seriously

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. – Angelica Lyons knew it was dangerous for Black women to give birth in America.

As a public health instructor, she taught college students about racial health disparities, including the fact that Black women in the U.S. are nearly three times more likely to die during pregnancy or delivery than any other race. Her home state of Alabama has the third-highest maternal mortality rate in the nation.

Then, in 2019, it nearly happened to her.

What should have been a joyous first pregnancy quickly turned into a nightmare when she began to suffer debilitating stomach pain.

Her pleas for help were shrugged off, she said, and she was repeatedly sent home from the hospital. Doctors and nurses told her she was suffering from normal contractions, she said, even as her abdominal pain worsened and she began to vomit bile. Angelica said she wasn’t taken seriously until a searing pain rocketed throughout her body and her baby’s heart rate plummeted.

Rushed into the operating room for an emergency cesarean section, months before her due date, she nearly died of an undiagnosed case of sepsis.

Even more disheartening: Angelica worked at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, the university affiliated with the hospital that treated her.

Her experience is a reflection of the medical racism, bias and inattentive care that Black Americans endure. Black women have the highest maternal mortality rate in the United States — 69.9 per 100,000 live births for 2021, almost three times the rate for white women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Black babies are more likely to die, and also far more likely to be born prematurely, setting the stage for health issues that could follow them through their lives.

“Race plays a huge part, especially in the South, in terms of how you’re treated,” Angelica said, and the effects are catastrophic. “People are dying.” Angelica Lyons tears up while recalling her birthing experience during an interview in Birmingham, Ala., on Feb. 5, 2022.

To be Black anywhere in America is to experience higher rates of chronic ailments like asthma, diabetes, high blood pressure, Alzheimer's and, most recently, COVID-19. Black Americans have less access to adequate medical care; their life expectancy is shorter.

From birth to death, regardless of wealth or social standing, they are far more likely to get sick and die from common ailments.

Black Americans’ health issues have long been ascribed to genetics or behavior, when in actuality, an array of circumstances linked to racism — among them, restrictions on where people could live and historical lack of access to care — play major roles.

Discrimination and bias in hospital settings have been disastrous.

The nation’s health disparities have had a tragic impact: Over the past two decades, the higher mortality rate among Black Americans resulted in 1.6 million excess deaths compared to white Americans. That higher mortality rate resulted in a cumulative loss of more than 80 million years of life due to people dying young and billions of dollars in health care and lost opportunity.

A yearlong Associated Press project found that the health challenges Black Americans endure often begin before their first breath.

The AP conducted dozens of interviews with doctors, medical professionals, advocates, historians and researchers who detailed how a history of racism that began during the foundational years of America led to the disparities seen today. Angelica Lyons carries her son while her younger sister, Ansonia Lyons, finishes her snack in the background.

Angelica Lyons’ pregnancy troubles began during her first trimester, with nausea and severe acid reflux. She was prescribed medication that helped alleviate her symptoms but it also caused severe constipation.

In the last week of October 2019, while she was giving her students a test, her stomach started to hurt badly.

“I remember talking to a couple of my students and they said, ‘You don’t look good, Ms. Lyons,'" Angelica recalled.

She called the University of Alabama-Birmingham Hospital’s labor and delivery unit to tell them she was having a hard time using the bathroom and her stomach was hurting. A woman who answered the phone told her it was a common pregnancy issue, Angelica said, and that she shouldn’t worry too much.

“She made me feel like my concern wasn’t important, and because this was my first pregnancy, I decided not to go because I wasn’t sure and thought maybe I was overreacting,” Angelica said.

The pain persisted. She went to the hospital a few days later and was admitted.

She had an enema — a procedure where fluids are used to cleanse or stimulate the emptying of bowels — to alleviate her constipation, but Angelica continued to plead with them that she was in pain.

“They were like, ‘Oh, it’s nothing, it’s just the Braxton Hicks contractions,'" she said. “They just ignored me.”

She was sent home but her stomach continued to ache, so she went back to the hospital a day later. Several tests, including MRIs, couldn’t find the source of the issue.

Angelica was eventually moved to the labor and delivery floor of the hospital so they could monitor her son’s heartbeat, which had dropped slightly. There, they performed another enema that finally helped with the pain. She also was diagnosed with preeclampsia, a dangerous condition that can cause severe pregnancy complications or death.

Then she began to vomit what appeared to be bile.

“I got worse and worse with the pain and I kept telling them, ‘Hey, I’m in pain,’” Angelica said. “They’d say, ‘Oh, you want some Tylenol?’ But it wasn’t helping.”

She struggled to eat dinner that night. When she stood up to go to the bathroom, she felt a sharp pain ricochet throughout her body.

“I started hollering because I had no idea what was going on," she said. "I told my sister I was in so much pain and to please call the nurse.”

What happened next remains a blur. Angelica recalls the chaos of hospital staff rushing her to labor and delivery, putting up a blue sheet to prepare her for an emergency C-section as her family and ex-husband tried to understand what went wrong.

She later learned that she nearly died.

“I was on life support,” recalled Angelica, 34. “I coded.”

She woke up three days later, unable to talk because of a ventilator in her mouth. She remembers gesturing wildly to her mother, asking where her son, Malik, was.

He was OK. But Angelica felt so much had been taken from her. She never got to experience those first moments of joy of having her newborn placed on her chest. She didn’t even know what her son looked like.

Maternal sepsis is a leading cause of maternal mortality in America. Black women are twice as likely to develop severe maternal sepsis, as compared to their white counterparts. Common symptoms can include fever or pain in the area of infection. Sepsis can develop quickly, so a timely response is crucial.

Sepsis in its early stages can mirror common pregnancy symptoms, so it can be hard to diagnose. Due to a lack of training, some medical providers don’t know what to look for. But slow or missed diagnoses are also the result of bias, structural racism in medicine and inattentive care that leads to patients, particularly Black women, not being heard.

“The way structural racism can play out in this particular disease is not being taken seriously,” said Dr. Laura Riley, chief of obstetrics and gynecology at Weill Cornell Medicine and New York-Presbyterian Hospital. “We know that delay in diagnosis is what leads to these really bad outcomes.”

In the days and weeks that followed, Angelica demanded explanations from the medical staff of what happened. But she felt the answers she received on how it occurred were sparse and confusing.

A spokesperson for the University of Alabama at Birmingham said in a statement to The Associated Press that they couldn’t talk about Angelica’s case because of patient privacy laws. They pointed to a recent internal survey done by its Obstetrics and Gynecology department that showed that most of its patients are satisfied with their care and “are largely feeling respected,” and said the university and hospital “maintain intentional, proactive efforts in addressing health disparities and maternal mortality.”

Angelica’s son, Malik, was born eight weeks early, weighing under 5 pounds. He spent a month in intensive care. He received home visits through the first year of life to monitor his growth.

While he’s now a curious and vivacious 3-year-old who loves to explore the world around him, Angelica recalls those days in the ICU, and she feels guilty because she could not be with him.

“It’s scary to know I could have died, that we could have died,” Lyons said, wiping away tears. Top: Ansonia Lyons, left, finishes a snack while her mother, Shelonda Lyons, takes care of her son, Adrien Lyons, as her nephew, Malik Lyons-Law, plays in the kitchen. Left: Shelonda Lyons looks after her grandchildren, Malik Lyons-Law, center, and Adrien Lyons. Right: Malik Lyons-Law and Adrien Lyons play with their dog.

For decades, frustrated birth advocates and medical professionals have tried to sound an alarm about the ways medicine has failed Black women. Historians trace that maltreatment to racist medical practices that Black people endured amid and after slavery.

To fully understand maternal mortality and infant mortality crises for Black women and babies, the nation must first reckon with the dark history of how gynecology began, said Deirdre Cooper Owens, a historian and author.

“The history of this particular medical branch … it begins on a slave farm in Alabama,” Owens said. “The advancement of obstetrics and gynecology had such an intimate relationship with slavery, and was literally built on the wounds of Black women.”

Reproductive surgeries that were experimental at the time, like cesarean sections, were commonly performed on enslaved Black women.

Physicians like the once-heralded J. Marion Sims, an Alabama doctor many call the “father of gynecology,” performed torturous surgical experiments on enslaved Black women in the 1840s without anesthesia.

And well after the abolition of slavery, hospitals performed unnecessary hysterectomies on Black women, and eugenics programs sterilized them.

Health care segregation also played a major role in the racial health gap still experienced today.

Until Congress passed the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Black families were mostly barred from well-funded white hospitals and often received limited, poor or inhumane medical treatment. Black-led clinics and doctors worked hard to fill in the gaps, but even after the new protections, hospitals once reserved for Black families remained under-resourced, and Black women didn’t get the same support regularly available for white women.

That history of abuse and neglect led to deep-rooted distrust of health care institutions among communities of color.

“We have to recognize that it’s not about just some racist people or a few bad actors,” said Rana A. Hogarth, an associate professor of History at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign. “People need to stop thinking about things like slavery and racism as just these features that happened that are part of the contours of history and maybe think of them more as foundational and institutions that have been with us every step of the way.”

Some health care providers still hold false beliefs about biological differences between Black and white people, such as Black people having “less sensitive nerve endings, thicker skin, and stronger bones.” Those beliefs have caused medical providers today to rate Black patients’ pain lower, and recommend less relief.

The differences exist regardless of education or income level. Black women who have a college education or higher have a pregnancy-related mortality rate that is more than five times higher than that of white women. Notably, the pregnancy-related mortality rate for Black women with a college education is 1.6. times higher than that of white women with less than a high school degree. Ansonia Lyons bottle feeds her son, Adrien Lyons, in the television room of her parents' home.

In Angelica Lyons’ home state of Alabama, about 40 mothers die within one year after delivery. The toll on Black mothers is disproportionate.

The state's infant mortality rate for 2021 was 7.6 deaths per 1,000 live births. The disparities between Black and white babies is stark: The infant mortality rate in 2021 for white mothers was 5.8, while the infant mortality rate for Black mothers was 12.1, an increase from 10.9 from the prior year.

Black babies account for just 29% of births in Alabama, yet nearly 47% of infant deaths.

A 2020 report by the Alabama Maternal Mortality Review Committee found that more than 55% of 80 pregnancy-related deaths that they reviewed in 2016 and 2017 could have been prevented.

Alabama launched its Maternal Mortality Review Committee in 2018 to investigate maternal deaths. But Dr. Scott Harris, Alabama’s Department of Public Health State Health Officer, said work remains to collect a fuller picture of why the disparities exist.

“We certainly know that from national numbers as well that Black women have worse maternal outcomes at every income level, which is pretty startling,” said Dr. Harris. “Age matters and just overall ZIP code matters. Unfortunately, where people live, where these children are born, is strongly associated with infant mortality. I think we’ll see something similar for maternal outcomes.”

And concerns about access and barriers to care remain.

In Alabama, 37% of counties are maternity care deserts — more than 240,000 women live in counties with no or little care. About 39% of counties don’t have a single obstetric provider.

Alabama is not alone in this. More than 2.2 million American women of childbearing age live in maternity care deserts, and another 4.8 million such women reside in counties with limited access to maternity care.

Angelica Lyons said she wanted to seek maternal care at another hospital but the University of Alabama was the only one near her home equipped to handle her high-risk pregnancy, which included high blood pressure near the beginning.

Dr. Harris acknowledged the lack of access to care is a barrier for Black women who live in the state’s rural areas. Much of the state’s public health efforts are targeted along the rural Black Belt, which gets its name from the rich soil but it was also a region where many plantations were clustered.

Centuries later, the Black Belt continues to be a high-poverty region with a large Black population. More than half of the nation’s Black population lives in the South.

“We’ve talked a lot about structural racism and the impact of that on African American women and how it has no place in society,” Harris said. “I think we have to publicly call it what it is.”

Angelica Lyons’ traumatic birth experience was not the only one in her family.

After two miscarriages, her younger sister, Ansonia, became pregnant in 2020, and it was difficult.

Angelica Lyons and Ansonia Lyons pose for portraits.

Doctors told her she was suffering from regular morning sickness, though she was vomiting blood.

She was eventually diagnosed with an excessive vomiting disorder, hyperemesis gravidarum, and was extremely dehydrated. Ansonia spent months in and out of the same hospital where her sister had been treated.

“They said, ‘Welcome to the pregnancy, sweetheart. This is what pregnancy is,’” Ansonia, 30, recalled. “I told her, ‘No, this is not normal for me to be throwing up 10 to 20 times a day.’ My own primary care wasn’t listening to me.”

Ansonia said throughout her pregnancy she encountered hospital staff that made stereotypical jokes, calling her child’s father her “baby daddy,” a trope often lobbed at Black parents.

“She said, ‘So, your baby daddy, where does he work?’” Ansonia recalled. “I said, ‘I don’t know what a baby daddy is but the father of my child is at work.’ She asked where he worked and I told her he had two businesses and she acted like she was surprised.”

Ansonia said staff assumed she didn’t have any health insurance, when she had insurance through her employer.

Ansonia has Type 2 diabetes and had issues with her blood pressure and heart throughout the pregnancy. She started to see a cardiologist and by the time she was 21 weeks pregnant, she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. She was placed on a medley of medications, and her doctors decided to deliver the baby early via C-section.

Ansonia was scared, given everything she witnessed her sister go through nearly two years prior.

“There were several times I told my boyfriend that I thought that I was going to die,” she said.

The C-section went well. Ansonia’s son, Adrien, was due in July 2021 but he was born at the end of May.

He spent his first five days in the intensive care unit, then was hospitalized for some early breathing problems.

Ansonia Lyons spends time with her son, Adrien Lyons.

Cesarean delivery rates are higher for Black women than white women, 36.8% and 31%, respectively, in 2021.

Problems continued for Ansonia after the delivery. She ended up needing a blood transfusion and was unable to see her son for his first few days of life.

A few months postpartum, she was still vomiting and having fainting spells that led to her being admitted to the hospital off and on. Her arms suffered from bruising from needles used to treat her throughout the pregnancy. She had always been slow to heal from any bruising, a common problem for diabetics.

Yet a doctor who had been involved throughout her entire pregnancy questioned why she had bruises on her arms and asked if she “smoked weed” or took any other recreational drugs. The hospital declined to comment, citing patient privacy laws.

“I said, ‘This is from me being stuck so many times and having to be in the hospital.’ I told him I don’t do any drugs,” she said.

He still sent her blood work off to be tested. The tests came back negative.

“That just made me not trust them, it made me not want to go back,” she said. Ansonia Lyons walks down the corridor of her parents' home with her son, Adrien Lyons.

There are indications that the sufferings of Black mothers and their babies are being recognized, however late.

In 2019, U.S. Rep. Lauren Underwood, an Illinois Democrat, and Rep. Alma Adams, a North Carolina Democrat, launched the Black Maternal Health Caucus. It is now one of the largest bipartisan congressional caucuses. The caucus introduced the Black Maternal Health Momnibus Act in 2019 and again in 2021, proposing sweeping changes that would increase funding and strengthen oversight. Key parts of the legislation have been adopted but the bill itself has yet to be approved.

Biden’s budget for fiscal year 2024 includes $471 million in funding to reduce maternal mortality and morbidity rates, expand maternal health initiatives in rural communities, and implicit bias training and other initiatives. It also requires states to provide continuous Medicaid coverage for 12 months postpartum, to eliminate gaps in health insurance. It also includes $1.9 billion in funding for women and child health programs.

U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services Xavier Becerra told The Associated Press more must be done at all levels of government to root out racism and bias within health care.

“We know that if we provide access to care for mother and baby for a full year, that we probably help produce not just good health results, but a promising future for mom and baby moving forward,” he said. Ansonia Lyons looks at a photograph of her younger self, right in photo, posing with her sister Angelica Lyons, left in photo.

Shelonda Lyons always taught both her daughters the bitter truth of racism, hoping it would prepare them to navigate life growing up in Birmingham, the Deep South city known for its place in civil rights history.

“When we were young, she was showing us those images of all the Black people being hung, being burned on the trees,” Angelica said, pointing to a book that remains on the family’s coffee table. “She wanted us to understand it, to know where we lived and that racism was something that we might have to deal with.”

But Shelonda never could have prepared for the treatment her daughters endured during their pregnancies. She remembers feeling helpless and angry.

“It’s like a slap in the face to me because at what point do you realize that you’re dealing with human beings? That it doesn’t matter what color they are,” she said, adding that now she worries any time they or her grandsons need to go to the doctor. “I don’t have a lot of trust.”

Angelica underwent two surgeries in the weeks that followed her C-section to repair internal damage and address her infection. She had to wear a colostomy bag for several months until she healed.

More than three years later, her stomach remains disfigured.

“I love my child, I love him all the same but this isn’t the body I was born with," she said. “This is the body that they caused from them not paying attention to me, not listening to me.”

First: Angelica Lyons secures her son, Malik Lyons-Law, into his child car seat while her sister, Ansonia Lyons, prepares to ride with her after their breakfast outing to celebrate their father's birthday. Second: James Lyons kisses his grandson, Adrien Lyons, in the kitchen of his home.

[offtorivendell]

On Elain, Gwyn and their apparent romantic worthiness.

TW: mentions of death, violent or sexual assault, infertility and pregnancy/childbirth related trauma. Please do not proceed if these topics bother you.

Disclaimer: please, please engage with this post with kindness. I promise I am not writing it to stir the pot, but because I - and many others - are fed up with seeing hurtful and harmful rhetoric spewed by the fandom, yet having no back up when dealing with it. Word vomit incoming, I'm sorry. This has been bothering me for a while.

My love to everyone who has been hurt by things they've read in this fandom. 💜

It's 2024 and I cannot believe we are still seeing posts, almost daily, about both of these women; all giving reasons why they cannot possibly be with Azriel. And I don't mean the debatable but utterly harmless discussions about Elain not looking good in black or Gwyn blabbing to Merrill when asked not to. Whatever, go nuts. I mean the truly horrific takes based around things these two women have had no control.

Now, my post history makes it very obvious where I stand in terms of ships, and yes, I'm well aware I've spoken before about the inherent power imbalance - that I perceive - which would exist if Azriel ever became involved with any of the priestesses in the women's shelter he is charged with protecting (to be clear, that's not me suggesting that Gwyn and her story isn't powerful, or powerful representation to those who see themselves in her, nor is it personal to Gwyn, or indicative of any of the sheltered priestesses and their ability to heal; it's purely a function of Azriel's position of authority over their sanctuary). I want to reiterate that my stating my feelings about this was never done with the intent to shame people who do ship them; we all ship who we like, and real world ethics should rarely come into it.

That being said, the following, in my opinion, is one of those times.

Firstly, I just want to say that lived experience informs how we interpret fiction, so please let me clarify something: the people who have said that they don't think Gwyn is ready for a relationship yet, and that NSFW fan art of her with anyone makes them uncomfortable, are not in any way in the wrong. They're simply the other side of the coin to those who find it empowering, and both are valid responses, often related to personal trauma. The problem lies with those very few who say that Gwyn could never have a romantic relationship, and call those who talk and/or post about it "gross." Some have called her "damaged goods." This is absolutely wrong and whoever is doing it needs to stop.

The entire fandom, even those who find romantic or NSFW content involving Gwyn uncomfortable to consume, frequently acknowledges that her trauma doesn't define her, and of course she should be able to enjoy love whenever she feels ready for it. Those who say otherwise are readily condemned from all corners. I've seen it happen and called the people out myself, as have many other Elriel shippers when necessary. However, Elriels are still very regularly and very publicly blamed for the actions of a few (some of whom I truly believe are burner accounts wanting to cause chaos, with their Elriel themed usernames and no post history), despite our largely collective action to call them out when we see it.

Could we do better? Absolutely, but so can you!

Because, on the other hand, I've noticed that, whenever I or others have tried to explain why the pliable bones "theory" - which attempts to reason that Elain could never be endgame with Azriel, as she and any baby would die during the course of pregnancy or childbirth - is equally as harmful, we are met with people publicly and wholeheartedly refusing to understand why (especially recently). Some horrific comments have been made to my friends, not to mention all of those I see well after the fact, which are never widely condemned by any but us. People will argue back that we're wrong, and have even suggested we're weaponising infertility! On Mothers' Day, of all the fucking painful days to say that.

Some of the push back I've seen recently includes:

"Nobody has said Elain is infertile."

No, nobody has, and that's not what we're saying or have ever said. We know you don't think this, as the Elucien fandom loves to write and draw Elain and Lucien's hypothetical future children (which is super understandable, as this is a romantasy fandom after all - no shame, enjoy your warm fuzzies).

What we are saying is that, if it's true that Elain's anatomy wasn't changed as Feyre and Nesta's was - and to be clear I cannot stand that entire plot, I wish SJM had chosen literally any other reason why Feyre's pregnancy was dangerous, as it is simultaneously degrading and doesn't fit with her previously established lore - then Elain and Azriel, together^, would be functionally infertile. Yet it's only ever framed as Elain's body not being able to work with Azriel's, never the other way around.*

^Why didn't the bat boys have to sacrifice their wings to keep their wives/mates safe? Why did the women have to change their anatomy? Because it would make it harder for them to be all powerful? Well Nesta sacrificed her powers! Why not just have Feyre be cursed by an enemy or something, and Nesta found a way to use the Dread Trove to save them all. Ugh. I love SJM's books, but this was such a miss.

*HOSAB/HOFAS SPOILER: funnily enough, this was never said about Ruhn and his eventual mate, even though he actually did think he may be unable to father children, thanks to the Oracle's prophecy. People shipped the hell out of him and a couple of different women throughout the CC series, despite the chance he could never get them pregnant.

"People haven't called Elain damaged goods, so it's not the same. We're allowed to not like her."

My faerie porn* lover in christ, what the fuck do you think the pliable bones "theory" is actually doing? It is suggesting that Elain's hypothetical inability to survive having children with Azriel, and for those children to also survive childbirth, is impaired. Ergo, she's damaged.

We don't care if you don't like Elain, we're allowed to have different preferences in characters and ships. That has never been the problem.

*I use this term with affection as a great lover of the genre.

But "damaged" vs a functionally "impaired" uterus? It's the same damn thing, and sorry, it's misogynistic af, not to mention ableist and homophobic at a minimum. In the same breath you are also reducing your favourite to her apparently functional uterus (even though the pliable bones argument is medically inaccurate, by the way - this is really damning of the state of health education across so many countries).

"Hahaha/lol."

Yes, I have seen people laugh and treat this as a joke. As recently as tonight, in fact. It's disgusting.

Regardless of your lived experiences and shipping preferences, both of these takes about Elain and Gwyn are equally degrading and horrific and need to stop, but if you're only calling out the comments that hurt you/your friends/your ship and not the others, then you should maybe attempt some basic self reflection and analyse those double standards you're carrying.

This entire fandom needs to do better. I'll say again, for the umpteenth time, to any of my fellow Elriels that if you think mocking Gwyn's past is funny, then you're not mature enough to read an adult series. But this works both ways, and if you think mocking infertility is funny/use it as a win, then you're just as immature. I would really and truly appreciate it if we were not left alone to argue over and over again why discriminating against someone who couldn't "have a man's children" is wrong, and why many, many people in this adult fandom - that is largely comprised of women! - might find such a theory, and the resulting discourse, incredibly upsetting.

Infertility hurts; not having a kid when you want one can be viscerally painful. Besides that, I know very few people who have given birth who don't carry around some sort of emotional or physical trauma from doing so. Treating a character's hypothetical infertility with one man as a joke is gross.

Please don't call Gwyn "damaged goods" or suggest that Azriel would choose somebody else over Elain because she couldn't have his kids.

They are the same thing.

It's not hard to be kind. Pain is not a competition.

We should all do better, and take care of each other.

[vintageseawitch]

this message is for American white women especially during this election season. specifically, those who are still thinking about or fully intending to vote for donald trump:

what the actual fuck are you doing. should trump win, not even your whiteness is going to save you. even YOU will be expendable to the men in power. they will be banning abortion & any care should your state forced pregnancies have any problems. YOU ARE JUST AS EXPENDABLE AS THE REST OF US. these men who want this power don't give a flying FUCK about you once your usefulness has come to an end (in this, it's using your voice now that will absolutely be taken away later aka voting & then eventually making enough white babies until you're physically unable whether because of age or complications from another pregnancy making you infertile or you just straight up fucking die).

YOUR 👏 WHITENESS 👏 WILL NOT 👏 SAVE YOU 👏

they hate ALL women, you most of all, because some other man (probably your father) has already broken you. these men want to fucking break other women who dare stand up to them or be different. you're fucking BORING to these precious men of yours. you will be forgotten once you're no longer pretty or able to give them their precious white babies they don't intend to help you raise. you're expected to do ALL the childcare, household chores, keeping track of appointments, etc. your precious masters won't let you have your own voice or opinion.

deep down inside, & that's deeeeeep down inside of your subconscious that maybe once in a while flares like a minor toothache, you know this to be true. but not only is your whiteness important to you, but so is the colonized status quo, & anyone who isn't white, especially POC women, deserve to be looked down upon. you're DISGUSTING. you're recklessly allowing yourself to be sacrificed in order to maintain the illusion of superiority. NO WOMAN WILL BE SAFE IN A SECOND TRUMP PRESIDENCY WHERE THEY WILL IMPLEMENT PROJECT 2025. the USA is going to fucking crash & burn. the economy will fail, WWIII will be imminent, & millions will suffer & die, but at least your white men will be in charge & kicking those they & you don't even deem human down.

fuck you. your whiteness will not save you. i say this to you as a white woman myself. FUCK. YOU. this is why i can't entirely get on board with the "i support women's rights... & women's wrongs" because your particular brand of wrong is beyond despicable & hateful & hypocritical. they want their white babies sooooo fucking badly. you voting for the orange traitor won't save you.

be a better person. listen to other voices that are trying their hardest to save us all, especially black women. they've done so much but we as white women have the duty & responsibility to use what privileged power we have to do something good. if you're voting for him because your husband demands it, please know that your vote is PRIVATE. please, don't allow yourself to be a victim of the state. be better. vote blue.

check your registration status!!! there's Republican scented fuckery happening everywhere - Oklahoma, Montana, Texas, Arizona, Georgia, Nebraska, etc. don't stop talking about Project 2025. WHITE WOMEN, PLEASE DO BETTER. I KNOW MANY ARE TOO FAR GONE IN THEIR ROTTENESS BUT I HAVE HOPE FOR SOME. vote blue 💙

[marvelmymarvel]

Summer Heat

Iruka Umino x Pregnant!Reader

Synopsis: In his paternity books, it said that pregnancy makes a woman extremely hot, and it doesn't help that you're in the third trimester in the middle of August.

A/n: I love a pregnant reader, so scroll now if you aren't into sweet tooth-rotting fluff between Iruka and his pregnant wife

“Oh my gods, it’s so hot in here. I’m going to die.”

Iruka looked up from the papers he was grading, eyebrows furrowing as he took in the scene before him. You were spread out on the couch with three fans going all at once, but the August heat in Konoha would be the death of you, that and the child you were currently growing. “Do you want me to get you some ice to chew on? Will that help?”

“No, Ruka, but you turning down the AC would help.”

“Honey, it's already set at 55 degrees.”

“It's still too hot.”

Iruka cocked his head in thought, the AC was as far down as possible, all of the fans you had in the house were pointed your way, and you were currently wearing the bare minimum in terms of clothing. Then an idea came to mind. In one of his “What to Expect When Expecting” books, he read that pregnant women found comfort from the heat while swimming. It was worth a shot.

“Why don't we go swimming at the pool? The book I read says that can help.”

You rolled your head to face him again, hand fanning your sweating face as you took in his words. “That requires moving.”

Iruka chuckled but moved towards you. “Tell you what, if the pool doesn't work, we will get ice cream,” He stated cheerily as he helped you off the couch. You pouted at him, “How about going to the pool and getting ice cream?” An eyebrow shot up at your suggestion, but he wouldn't argue with you. Whatever you wanted, you would get. He quickly kissed your lips before pulling you towards the bedroom to grab your swimsuits.

“I promise you swimming will do the trick. My book has been right so far!

“Iruka, please tell me you have not been referring back to that book throughout this entire pregnancy….”

Iruka’s cheeks heated up as he scratched his neck, “No comment,” he breathed out before pushing you into the bedroom to help you prepare for the pool. You plopped onto the bed, already out of breath and sweating buckets from the short trip. “What swimsuit do you want to wear?” Iruka called out from the closet, causing a soft smile to form on your lips. 

“The black one! It will be the only one that’ll fit anyway.” 

Silence filled the air as you waited for him to emerge with your clothing. What did you do to even deserve him? The second you laid your eyes on him so many years ago, you knew he was too good to be true, untouchable even for a person like you. But here you were, heavily pregnant with his baby, in your shared house. Something you’ve dreamed of but didn't dare believe could come true.

Iruka entered the room again, holding a yellow sundress and a black swimsuit. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the two clothing items, hoping you would agree with what he carefully picked.

“Okay, I grabbed a dress for you as well. But I can grab another one if you do not like the color-”

You stood swiftly from the bed, causing him to jump in shock at your speed, “Is something the matter-”

Your lips collided with his, hands plunging into his hair as you encouraged him to deepen the kiss. The love you felt for him was overwhelming you, more so than the heat was. Once the shock wore off, Iruka melted into it and dropped the clothing, allowing him to cup your face. You sighed into the kiss as he finally deepened it, making you feel lightheaded at how he made you feel. 

He pulled back as you let your hands fall from his hair, “What was that all about?” he teased, yet he couldn't hide nor deny that he was blushing intensely at the actions that just transpired. “I just love you, is all. Can't wait to start a family with you.” He smiled brightly at your words, their pure love and adoration making him feel like he was on cloud nine. His hand dropped to your stomach, lightly rubbing it gently, “You two are the best things to have ever happened to me, ya know that?” 

“I don't know. If we were, you’d throw in dinner with our little outing.”

He chuckled at that before bending down to get your clothing that he dropped; your pregnant brain was very food oriented, that was for sure. “Sure, we will go swimming, get dinner and then get some ice cream. How does that sound?”

You nodded happily, “I accept your proposition, now, if you’ll excuse me.” You grabbed your clothes with a sweet smile before heading towards the bathroom to get changed. You knew that Iruka had always treated you like the queen you were, and you were excited to see how he would treat your child when they asked for things. 

Closing the door, you looked down at your stomach lovingly - “You are one lucky kid, that's for sure. You’ll have your daddy wrapped around your finger as I do.”

[odinsblog]

FROM BIRTH TO DEATH, Black Americans fare worse in measures of health compared to their white counterparts. They have higher rates of infant and maternal mortality, higher incidence of asthma during childhood, more difficulty treating mental health as teens, and greater rates of high blood pressure, Alzheimer's disease and other illnesses.

The Associated Press spent the past year exploring how the legacy of racism in America has laid the foundation for the health inequities that Black people face.

Links to each article beneath the “Keep reading” cut

Why do so many Black women die in pregnancy? One reason: Doctors don't take them seriously (link)

Black children are more likely to have asthma. A lot comes down to where they live (link)

Black kids face racism before they even start school. It's driving a major mental health crisis (link)

High blood pressure plagues many Black Americans. Combined with COVID, it's catastrophic (link)

A lifetime of racism makes Alzheimer’s more common in Black Americans (link)

Medical Racism in History (link)

[coldblooded-angel]

Taking you up on your Challengers ask. While the question of who is Lily’s father is an interesting question I think there is a more pertinent question being ignored: Why did Tashi have Lily in the first place?

Like Tashi already went through a major traumatic physical event that cost her a promising tennis career. Like she had to really redefine her relationship to her first love, tennis. That relationship went from an active love affair where she was a participant to a passive one where she had to vicariously live through Art. While Tashi has made the transition that doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel a way about it to this day.

Pregnancy and birth are also intense, physical events that can alter your body for the rest of your life at best and possibly disable or kill you at worst—especially if you are Black like Tashi is. (I can go into a deep dive on the Black maternal mortality rate in the US and how even across class Black women are 3 times more likely to die after giving birth and up to 80% of those deaths are preventable…but I rather not do that here.)

Considering that, it’s not clear why Tashi would commit to having anyone’s child. It’s clear that while she loves Lily, parenting is not a priority to her. To be clear, I am not saying that Tashi is a bad or neglectful parent, I am just saying it’s very clear that tennis is still her true love. So why do it?

This is the one question I left the movie with wishing for something that points to a clearer answer.

ANON !!! It is actually crazy to me that I never questioned it. I was very suprised tho when she appeared and definitely when Patrick mentions that Tashi hates him (at that point) I shoulda asked this question. Why did she have Lily??

There are several reasons I can think of but one might be (for me) expectations?? Like the “natural progression” that people expect is you get married then have a kid. It might be the reason Lily doesn’t have a sibling as well. They had to have a kid so they had one that that’s it. I do agree that parenting doesn’t seem like a priority to her but I think it’s because she built her life around chasing a dream she can never have. I do think she still loves her tho just not as much as tennis.

The other possibility (which maybe more likely) was because Art wanted it. We don’t get to see it but from what they’ve shown, he is the most likely of the 3 characters to want to settle down and have a life outside of the sport. I think having a child mightve always been in the cards for him.

Now though I believe (and so many of us do) that Tashi isn’t in love with Art, she still loves him and cares for him to an extent. I think in a way she was convinced at some point that maybe being a family (having a child) might be enough (it’s not) and she could be happy outside of tennis.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BPP!

Non-kpop related ask.

This is coming right out of left field, but the way you logically work through your ideas makes me very curious about your answer to this question:

What do you think about abortion? Rather, the abortion debate, specifically in the US.

***

Now…

It’s a bit sadistic of you to ask me this publicly, in a post- Roe vs. Wade -world.

But I'll bite.

I’ll use the US as the basis for the discussion here because I think their abortion debate is the most sensationalized.

People take it for granted that just because women have been giving birth to babies for thousands of years that childbirth is a very safe procedure. The reality is that it’s not. Unfortunately. Many women today die in childbirth, even if everything went relatively well during pregnancy. In the US, the maternal mortality rates for Black women is 3x higher than it is for white women due to unequal access to quality healthcare and other factors. And none of these factors are changing soon.

And so, it seems like a no brainer to me that since the only person exposed to life-altering and life-threatening outcomes not just in carrying a fetus to term but in the delivery of the baby, is the woman or person carrying said fetus, then that person should be the only person whose opinion determines what happens to them regardless of the fetus. So long as the fetus is dependent on and physically attached to that person’s body, it’s their call. With their doctor’s counsel. That to me seems like the most humane approach, especially for a society that refuses to provide structural support for childcare, food affordability, education, and a means for people who have had children to seamlessly integrate into the workforce again.

You know, all the things that society would do if it valued life and the fulfillment of it.

No offense to the Catholics, Muslims, and Zoroastrians who follow me but if you’re not pro-choice, why aren’t you?

*

The nature of the abortion debate in the US and many other countries, the way it’s framed in the first place, kinda bothers me tbh.

“Pro-life” is a misnomer. It only actually represents being anti-choice. That is, the moment you’re pregnant, the choice to carry the fetus to term has already been decided for you by the government. A power that only a deity or god is supposed to have, has now been given to the State. As a woman or person carrying a child, your free will is rendered moot and you become nothing but an incubator, carrying a child that the State immediately loses interest in the moment you deliver it. And that’s if you’re one of the lucky ones who actually make it through childbirth. The less lucky ones could end up with life-altering injuries impacting the quality of the rest of their lives, an added burden that could tip the most vulnerable people further into poverty (since the US provides very limited structural support), or they could literally die while giving birth and this is more likely to happen in the US if that person is a Black woman.

It’s grotesque.

And yet, the country cannot bring itself to admit the barbarity of a 12 year old child forced to deliver a child. If the priority is to save lives, why would the government force pregnant people into a situation where not just one life could be ended, but two?

In fact, one of the most disappointing indications that we’re probably in the later stages of societal collapse in the US, is when the abortion debate became the litmus test for 50% of the country’s voting decisions. In my opinion.

[medusasbush]

read in march 2023

articles (ones behind a paywall are linked through webpage archive):

articles

Reverse boundaries How good are we at respecting when someone else says 'no'?

"Slow Pleasure" in a Fast World

Should People Be Allowed to Like Things? Are we discoursing ourselves to death?

The Divine Delusion of Gender: On "Energy" and the TikTokification of Spirituality

Spiritual misogyny is flourishing on TikTok

How ‘Poker Face’s’ Stop-Motion Animation Episode Was Brought to Life

Are there too many sex scenes in movies?

Man Says BetterHelp Referred Him to Conversion Therapy Supporter

Who's Afraid of Mark Rothko?

When Everything Becomes an Event

Meet the Lipsdick: A Dick Shaped Lipstick

How Do We Define the Female Gaze in 2018?

Do Words Mean Anything Anymore?

It’s Been Over Two Decades Since We’ve Had a Non-White Best Actress Winner. Will That Change in 2023?

I'm Coming Clean about Friend Envy & You Should Too

A Friend Doesn't Have to be "Toxic" to be Bad for You

Does Anyone Mend Clothes Anymore?

The Moral Case Against Equity Language

Inspiration Is Everywhere. Literally: The "We're Not Really Strangers"-ification of social media.

Men Are Lonely. But Women Are Being Attacked: Male Loneliness is Not Women's Problem to Solve

Romance isn't Just for Dating

What is Romantic Friendship?

The Case of the Missing Perpetrator: On Mysterious Pregnancies, the Passive Voice, and Disappearing Men

Dingus of the Week: Women’s History Month

Friends and mentees remember Judy Heumann, mother of the disability rights movement

The Language of Place

One of Walgreens biggest stockholders commissioned Fearless Girl

Fine I'll admit it. I Like Titanic.

A Plan Forms in Mexico: Help Americans Get Abortions

Can Nostalgia Be Sinister?

The Stay-At-Home Girlfriend Phenomenon

A Conversation With Stay-At-Home Girlfriend & Content Creator Kendel Kay

The Soft Boy Brigade: Was He “Written By a Woman” or Is He Just Wearing Nail Polish?

The Scientific Reason You Love Watching Reruns

Take Some Pills for Your Hysteria, Lady: America's Long History of Drugging Women Up

Everybody’s a Critic. So Stop Hating Critics.

A League of Their Own Is The First Great Gay Movie-to-TV Reboot

The Bear: At Last, A Chicago Show For People Who Are Not From Chicago And Have Never Stepped Foot There

the science of giving pain

i bet she has a nice scream: in praise of X, the new novel by Davey Davis

the persistent desire: on erotic identification

leatherdyke gender technology

‘The Last of Us’ Finale: First-Person Shooter

The ‘Last of Us’ Finale Is Just as Ambiguous and Agonizing as the Game’s Indelible Ending

What Exactly Is the Point of ‘The Last of Us’?

Do We Need Another ‘Love Letter to Cinema’?

Everyone needs to grow up: Whether it’s people who mention their Hogwarts house on their Hinge profile or literal white supremacists, culture is awash with adult babies

Instagram Store Core: A Manifesto Against Avant-Basic Home Design

Who Gets Care and Who Gets to Die?

Shoppers say secondhand stores like Goodwill are getting too expensive as Gen Z makes thrifting cool

Where Does Discarded Clothing Go?

How ‘travel aesthetics’ are ruining travel for everyone

Why is everyone so obsessed with frontal lobe development?

the sinking pleasure of a bath

Love, Sex, and Disabled Women: we want to be sexy too.

“Nope” Perfectly Encapsulates My Disappointment with the Biden Administration

What really killed Jane Austen?

On (Not) Discovering Disability in the World of Jane Austen: Disabled characters are present in Austen’s novels, but largely invisible in her cinematic remakes

Nathan Lane: Robin Williams ‘Protected Me’ From Coming Out as Gay on ‘Oprah’ in 1996 Because ‘He Was a Saint’

'The Last of Us’ finale isn’t controversial, it’s correct

The Oscars are beyond repair. Let’s make something better.

The House That Mr. Mayer Built: Inside the Union-Busting Birth of the Academy Awards

‘A League of Their Own’ is based on the 1992 movie, but has an identity all its own

Black Southern food isn’t killing us:The ‘plate’ is not the real problem

In the history of hip-hop fashion, there’s no ignoring Lil’ Kim

The next first ladies of rap

books:

Wear, Repair, Repurpose: A Maker's Guide to Mending & Upcycling Clothes by Lily Fulop

[ravnlghtft]

black women

WONG MAYE-E / AP

Sisters Angelica Lyons, left, and Ansonia Lyons pose for a portrait at their parents’ home in Birmingham, Ala., on Saturday, Feb. 5, 2022. As a public health instructor, Angelica taught college students about racial health disparities, including the fact that Black women in the U.S. are nearly three times more likely to die during pregnancy or delivery than any other race. Then, in 2019, it nearly happened to her. Ansonia also had several difficulties when she became pregnant in 2020

[frigid666]

we're never going to end patriarchy if we make the rejection of motherhood a requirement of feminism. most women would choose their children + families over feminism, especially if they feel they are j going to be judged + condescended for being mothers in feminist spaces (even if it's not the case); even if we magically convinced every woman on the planet to not have any more kids, most of them would already have at least one. what then? are these women expected to self flagelate?

and let's be real, radical feminism is a niche ideology that will likely remain niche because of how childish + out of touch most of the women involved are; radical feminism in recent years has produced nothing to offer the average woman due to how easily it allowed itself to be absorbed by the anti-trans conservative establishment. its currently going nowhere, so can normie women really be faulted for prioritizing their children + families over a half-dead movement that doesn't even see value in helping them and in fact sees them as class traitors because they had kids (esp if it was w men)?

and on the topic: i don't think it's productive to frame women having kids as solely doing so in service of a man like someone in the replies has framed it as. not everything women do is solely a product of patriarchal brainwashing, that's some polilez rhetoric. motherhood is not a male invention. as an institution, it is currently patriarchal because men have used religious, economic, and sexist influence to artificially overstate their importance in human reproduction. in nature, males are disposable; this is an existential truth that has tormented men since the start of humanity, so they weaponised what they had at their disposal + the vulnerabilities that come with pregnancy/motherhood to control mothers (who make up the bulk of womankind) and by extension daughters. it's an almost air-tight setup that ensures their continued male supremacist control over women and society (because women create the people within society). idk how radfems can recognize womb envy and yet insist the root of patriarchy is reproduction itself rather than how its been weaponised against the natural creators [women]. the issue is men coveting women's role as the creators of people, not women's reproductive capacity itself. i think that's the biggest revelation ive had regarding radical feminism - it offers so many good analyses + salient observations about women's oppression, but it completely falls flat on resolutions.

we aren't going to uproot shit if our game plan is to somehow convince women (which btw also includes lesbian + same-sex partnered bisexual women, not just straight women) to stop wanting + having kids instead of seizing control of motherhood so it's dictated by + benefits women instead of men. like what a waste of time. radical feminism because it IS intrinsically tied with antinatalism is a waste of time. like did we forget patriarchy literally means "rule of the FATHER"? we are handing the win over to male supremacy if, as feminists our only response to male-dictated reproduction is "lol stop having kids" ...what kind of childish black and white thinking...

honestly i wish more women who are truly committed to improving conditions for women abandoned radical feminist framework. we should take what is valuable from it, but discard the rest. as it currently stands, most radfems seem to think the solution to female oppression is to end humanity. that's sad. that's basically saying "women can't be free ever, so let's just allow humanity to die off." im beginning to understand why radfems have accrued the reputation of infatilizing women + not caring about mothers.

radfems are always going on about how "other movements aren't expected to do [xyz]!" then turn around and insist on denying women a fundamental aspect other social movements share: aspirations for the future. truly, no other oppressed group is expected to abandon hope and j choose to die off without having experienced even one day of liberation the way women are per radical feminist doctrine. activists don't only fight for the best interests of their oppressed class - they're also meant to inspire hope.

full offense but some of you need to touch grass and realize most of the women whose liberation you claim to be fighting for are normies and being aggressively anti natalist does not serve women who have already given birth in any way. Some of you truly don't care about women, only about being holier than thou. fun fact not even radfem theorists were perfect radfems. such thing does not exist. imagine calling a woman a sociopath for birthing a child and still believing you are the compassionate one lmao. literally go outside interact with random women on the street I beg u guys.

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

12:16 am pt 31 may 2023 Wednesday

After I saw Scott wrote on his Facebook that I’m a whore, in that moment in I think July 2010, I decided I was going to be celibate until I found the right man. I needed to prove to myself that I wasn’t a whore. Words can be empty and meaningless when they’re lies. I really didn’t want to be a whore. 12:19 am pt but now that I’m falling apart, I wish now that I was! Even more!!!!! 12:20 am pt

12:21 am pt my aunt who had a baby at age 42? She said she was a virgin until she got married. She even said in 2015 that she wish she wasn’t a virgin. 12:22 am pt mayb being a virgin runs in the family? My mom’s first pregnancy resulted from being black out drunk. And she was always working up until that party, her whole life. She said she usually got in trouble with her mom if she ever tried to sneak out to have fun. She always had that bad luck, but all her siblings got to sneak out and not get caught. 12:24 am pt

12:25 am pt except I got the Saint Lucia/Mickey mouse toy curse.

12:44 am pt incubus miñions are my neighbors. They’re making the place shake a lot more louder than me. It sounds like maybe they’re jumping. Angryly. Destruction of buildings seems to be in their job descriptions. 12:46 am pt

12:47 am pt a lot of women stay in abusive relationships Bcz incubus makes them stupid enough to stay. And then they die. 12:48 am pt I was stupid to see Scott again in 2007, and 2010.

12:49 am pt incubus miñion warned me all men are heinous. All including Scott Cano? I guess????? & unfortunately I guess incubus then, too. 12:50 am pt it’s unfortunate that he thought it was ok to pretend he was my husband and then burn me almost to death many times to say NOT! I probably am nearly dead inside. 😞😤🥵😖😭 at least I tried to like whoever I was with. It wasn’t a joke I was playing on anyone. But he didn’t want to understand or see it that way. It seems now. 12:54 am pt

12:55 am pt oh I’m making that assumption Bcz I found Hanes men underwear 🩲 in my room. 12:56 am pt

1:26 am pt I’m thinking now maybe 🤔 he did understand but he was going to pretend he doesn’t understand Bcz he doesn’t like me and he wants me dead ☠️. 1:27 am pt

This has gone way too far. I think the world 🌎 will never change. And if men really like to rape 11 year olds then why and how would it stop 🛑 if that’s who they naturally are? 1:29 am pt me, I can argue that a lot of unnatural things were done to me. So unnatural results occurred. 1:29 am pt

2:40 am pt anatomy I think 💭 has to do with the shapes of structures like bones 🦴 and organs? Physiology I think 💭 has to do with function of those structures. If woman cannot rape man Bcz she “can’t make love to a bush” an unerect p*nis, then rape is inherently a man/male only trait. Kissing and touching leads to s*x, so a predatory male who wants to have s*x is more probable to initiate those actions to get to the s*x/rape. 2:44 am pt

2:48 am pt therefore desires/hormones would have to be traced back to the source donor. To really eradicate the problem. 2:49 am pt therefore truly a man would have to pay the price. 2:49 am pt

3 am pt I have been seeing headlines of weird cases online.

4:27 am pt when an incubus touches a woman 👩🏼 in an intimate way, don’t be fooled. They only want you to not arrest them for their s*x crimes. 4:28 am pt they want you to stay quiet 🤐.

4:29 am pt when an incubus tells you he loves you, it’s a lie. He might as well be holding up a mirror 🪞 and telling it to himself. He will only love 💕 himself. 4:30 🕟 am pt

4:39 am pt I feel pain in my throat that is probably a hole 🕳 from being eaten by acid repeatedly. The incubus/miñion, when I had my eyes closed, put his or her mouth 👄 on my neck under chin area and closed their mouth 👄 sliding it shut. So it felt intimate. And they’ve been doing this to me forget how long probably at least a whole month. So, if they do that to you, beware. It’s not a good sign 🪧. They all lie about love 💕. Like David Scott cano, and they are “bros.” Guilty by association. Birds of a feather flock together. 4:42 am pt “Brendan” wanted to buy me airplane tickets 🎫 when I was 16 years old to see him to have s*x with him, back in 2001. So Bcz they’re “bros”, best friends, we have to suspect cano does the same thing. In 2010 after I saw Scott again, I got a phone call ☎️ from a private number. She said she was a friend of a friend of a friend etc of scott. She told me a friend of his also did that sudden no condom s*x thing, cat hair thing?, to someone. She seemed to be telling me Bcz it seemed to be trending among his friends. Sometime we see in movies guys try to do bets. They try to out do the other. 4:47 pmpt 4:48 pm pt. I’m guessing this person heard me getting upset at Scott when I complained about taking plan b. 4:48 am pt

4:53 am pt this thing is never going to be over. I can tell. Bcz I’m dying 😵. 4:56 am pt I realized this now, that neighborhood is very quiet. I don’t recall hearing anyone around. Probably could hear a pin drop from the other side of the street. The only thing Scott complained about were the sound of birds in the morning. 4:57 am pt

5:19 am pt incubus protects other rapists. And he likes to kill women he had s-*x with. So, it makes sense that he would mess with a woman 👩🏼 zombify her to make her do things that she wouldn’t normally do but is characteristic of .... 5:21 am pt

5:22 am pt Scott had a friend named Marisa. She seemed to have a crush on him and they knew each other probably since high school 🏫. He seemed to start messing with her after he stopped seeing me, and b4 Courtney. I’m not sure but I think 💭 he was using her for something and wasn’t genuine when he started hanging out with her. I had took her shopping at a little grocery store 🏬. She probably showed him which store 🏬. She wrote on Facebook “hanging out with a brother from another mother.” And she posted a picture of herself blushing 😊. I read online blushing is a sign 🪧 a girl likes you. It was probably for Scott. Then on his wall after he seemed to pull away from her she wrote Scott likes boobies. It was basically a tactic to try to get attention. About a year later she got a new boyfriend and wrote she was so thankful she found someone who didn’t have something wrong with him. I think 💭 he hurt Marisa. And set her up for disappointment. 5:27 am pt

5:52 am pt guys like an easy loose girl for themselves but not for anyone else. 5:53 am pt

I5:55 am pt Scott probably touched Marisa’s boobs. A guess. 5:56 am pt

11:09 am pt the incubus is willing to hurt me this much for things he tricked me into doing. He is willing to change (lie) about the past (autocorrect acid 11:11 hot acid? Butt pain). Example: my drawings. Pictures of my face.to show me that he doesn’t care or he doesn’t want people to know that he told Nick v/b I was a whore and he probably used me. And probably use it psychologically to break me down by losing the opportunity to date someone I started liking too late. I think 💭 Adam Noah Levine is dishonest and dishonorable. I think 💭 he’s embracing who he really is when he tortures and kills me and hides truth from me. 11:17 am pt

3:57 pmpt I think 💭 i figured it out: when a man 👨 asks to have s*x with you, and he hasn’t said: I love 💕 you be my girlfriend/wife - it probably means he has already decided you aren’t the one ☝️ for him to marry, he’s going to stop 🛑 seeing you soon 🔜, and he’s going to try to get whatever he can from you (acid mouth 👄 pain 4 pm) for instant gratification to hold him off? Until the next interested girl shows up 🆙. He already decided you’re a whore. 4:01 pmpt

4:02 pmpt stop 🛑 trying to like him to see if he could potentially be your husband. It’s the end. Either you enjoy the s*x and acknowledge to yourself this is the end reallly of dating this guy, or you go back home 🏠. Know that this is highly probably the case. I formerly heard if a guy really likes you he’s careful about how far he goes with how soon 🔜 like Heath ledger in 10 things I hate about you. 4:05 pmpt

6:52 pmpt I didn’t touch the skin of children. They tend to touch anything and sometimes they are covered in snot and anything germy 🦠. Even at work when the eczema got bad on my hands 🙌 I wore gloves 🧤. The skin of my hands 🙌 got very dry easily Bcz I washed my hands a lot. I was ocd about it sometimes especially if I had to fold laundry 🧺. Maybe other things too like when preparing food 🍲. Ever since high school 🏫 probably senior year it was especially troublesome. It started out like that in elementary school 🏫 when the eczema started when I was 8 years old. I had an episode of washing my hands 🙌 a lot Bcz it was already dry and I had the misconception that washing it would rehydrate it/moisturize it. A momentary misconception. 6:58 pmpt

7:03 pmpt I was prescribed medication for my eczema every year since I was 8 years old for my eczema. My first boyfriend was very clean 🧼 and conscientious probably about hygiene 🪥 with the exception of his pillow for some reason (I complained about it). But that’s the only thing I probably ever complained about. He was half Asian and wanted to be Japanese I guess even though he wasn’t. He liked anime and took Japanese language classes and karate 🥋 and a holistic medicine class. He was allergic to cats 🐈 but they had a cat 🐱. But she could never come into his room. 7:08 pmpt

[sabrinaloscar]

I keep talking about this. It is an epidemic. This happened in my own extended family. When are they going to take this seriously? Glad to see Associated Press is talking about it.

[linnorabeifong]

Women’s lives are so easily thrown away. Demanding women carry pregnancies is ridiculous when complications are commonplace.

Women are disabled for life by pregnancy and America has the highest maternal mortality rate of any developed nation because of our culture and poor healthcare.

Women aren’t valued in our society so when they complain of symptoms like excessive pain, bleeding and swelling they are ignored. Women aren’t valued so many don’t receive prenatal care. Women aren’t valued so they aren’t given proper medical treatment during an emergency. Women aren’t valued so they die in childbirth.

If we are not killed or disabled by childbirth they will execute us or disable our rights out right.

If these people believe in the right to life then what of a woman’s right to life and further why not fund sex education (ignorance is a cause of unwanted pregnancy) , why not fund free birth control (would prevent unwanted pregnancy, why not take better care of foster children (the lives already in existence) why not create harsher punishments for sex offenders ? (as many rape victims seek abortion and this move would help to deter sex offenders from recommitting and causing unwanted pregnancies)

If you are to believe in the right to life then you must believe in it thoroughly. You can not say you value life and then support the death penalty.

The truth is this is nothing to do with life and all to do with the death of woman. (Some) Men are jealous of women. That we have the innate ability to create life and can choose whether or not we do.

Criminalizing abortion only pushes women to pursue black market abortions and will create massive child abandonment and infanticide across the nation. The blood and suffering of those children will be on the hands of those who voted for anti abortion laws and the responsibility on their wallets.

Criminalizing abortion will simply cause more children to be born into poverty and more women to die of pregnancy complications.

[tricky-ghoul]

How are you most likely to die while pregnant? Murder.

The study, published in Obstetrics & Gynecology, found that pregnant women and women who have recently given birth in the United States are twice as likely to die by homicide than pregnancy-related causes such as hemorrhage or hypertension.

Just one of the many examples of why sex segregated spaces are vital for the health and well being of women. All women should feel like they have a refuge within reach if they find themselves in an abusive and/or violent domestic situation. Especially when a child is involved. Women should feel comfortable and confident that the services available to her are safe, i.e. free of the sex that has abused her.

Women who are afraid to carry a pregnancy to term due to domestic situations should be able to terminate the pregnancy, no questions asked. The harder it is to access abortion, the more women and birthed children we’re putting in danger. Black women and young women are even more at risk.

Not to mention the complete disparity in quality of health care when it comes to men/women and white people/people of color. Black women face disproportionately more discrimination in health care, so there’s much higher chance for adverse outcomes in pregnancy and labor/delivery. Just one reason found to explain the increase in fetal/maternal deaths for black women? Stress. The amount of stress that women of color face on the day to day is enough to increase stress hormones in the body and contribute to an adverse outcome.

We should be allowed to speak out about these issues without being asked to consider how a man feels, without being asked to acknowledge any man for any reason. We should be allowed to fight for our sex based rights without the threat of our livelihoods, and lives, being destroyed. We should be allowed to talk about our lives and bodies and realities without being asked to change our language. (Glad to see the Insider used “women”) It’s really the least society could do. Someone, anyone, besides us, really should care. Women deserve better. Their children deserve better.

[untaemedqueen]

Third Wheeling

CEO!Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Chapter 32 (Final Chapter).

Warnings (Updating Still): Smut, Cheating, Unexpected Pregnancy, Unfaithful, Emotional Damage, Love

Warnings For This Chapter: Daddy Kink, Degradation, Hand Job, Lactation Kink, Milk Drinking, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Pregnant Sex, Unprotected Sex, Riding, Begging, Praise, Spanking

A/N: This is the FINAL, FINAL chapter.... Wah, can you believe it? This is so crazy! I'm so so happy that everyone has enjoyed Third Wheeling so much! Thank you to my forevers @xjoonchildx​, @ladyartemesia​ and @ppersonna​ for being behind me on everything about this series

The sharp whistle that Yoongi chirps, bleeds through the living room of the mansion.

His two year old son turns to him with round, curious eyes. His small hand is outstretched trying to pick up the million dollar vase you have on display on the coffee table.

"What're you doing, my little troublemaker?"  Yoongi murmurs, wrapping his arms around his son and throwing him up in the air.

Honggi squeals loudly, curling his arms around his father's neck like needy vines.

"Maya, please move that vase before Y/N has a fit." Yoongi whispers to the woman he's always admired.

"Yes, Sir." she giggles.

"Dada," Honggi squeals into his neck and Yoongi's heart clenches at the sound.

"Yes, bud?" he inquires, tilting his head to look down at his son.

"Hungry." his son breathes.

"Mommy's making food, let's go see." Yoongi chirps, running his large hand over his son's small back.

Taking in the new mansion, Yoongi is really happy with it.

He didn't bring over a special architect from Greece, he didn't fawn over the marble this time around. He let you pick the house.

And like always, you're incredible.

The house isn't particularly gaudy like the last one which he shared with his ex-wife. It's warm wooden interior and gray and white furnishings scream home. And that's what Yoongi always needed -- a home.

Although, anywhere with you is home, he's noticed.

The wings that spread out far and wide throughout the house have pieces of art that make Yoongi feel comforted and he's astounded everyday by how thoughtful you are.

"Mama!" Honggi screams and it rips your husband out of his daydream.

"Uh oh, here comes trouble." you sing, slinging your towel over your shoulder.

You extend your arms over the quartz island for your son and Yoongi is incredibly cautious.

"Be careful, please," he begs.

You give him a sweet nod, accepting your son into your arms and Honggi leans over the pot curiously.

"Cow?" he asks and you snort loudly.

"Yes, beef." you reply, wiping his chin with your thumb.

"B-Beef," he repeats and Yoongi beams.

Honggi isn't one to stay in anyone's arms for long, despite how much he adored being held as a newborn. He wriggles almost immediately to get down and Yoongi takes a sharp breath between his teeth cautiously.

"Watch mommy's belly, please." he yelps, setting your son on the floor.

"Jesus," he bleats, kissing your cheek.

"It's okay," you promise him, bending down to fix your son's black hair.

Honggi hugs your neck tightly, kissing your cheek so sweetly that it turns you into a puddle of love.

"What should we name your brother and sister?" Yoongi inquires of your son as he leans both elbows down on the island.

He pops a grape in his mouth, looking at his kid expectantly.

"Pororo... Poby!" Honggi giggles, swaying back and forth.

"Oh yeah, good idea! We can name them after penguins!" Yoongi teases, giving his son a grape.

"Poby is a polar bear." you inform him, stirring the stew.

"Yeah daddy! Bear!" Honggi scoffs, tugging on Yoongi's pants playfully.

"Oh, I'm sorry daddy doesn't know what anthropomorphic animals his son watches while he's at work." your husband murmurs.

"An-Anth-Anthr… Animals!" Honggi gasps and you laugh gently.

Yoongi takes a deep breath through his nose, allowing the comfort of being surrounded by his family to enrapture him.

He steps behind you, wrapping his arms around you and your growing stomach.

"I missed you today, little dove." he breathes, kissing your temple.

"You miss me everyday," you state, turning around in his grasp.

"That's true. Because I love you." he coos, pushing some hair back behind your ear.

"I love you too," you giggle, accepting the kiss he gives you.

Since Yoongi became a father he's learned so many things like patience and showing love to his child, the likes of which his younger self never got to see. He wants to give his family the entire world if he can, he wants to give all of you everything you could possibly desire because it was so terribly lacking when he was a kid.

"Dinner isn't going to be ready for a bit." you tell your family.

"But I'm hungry now!" Honggi cries, throwing his head back in a dramatic two year old fashion that both of his parent's laugh at.

"Okay. We'll have yogurt and go play with the Gaesu until Mommy is done cooking." Yoongi announces, picking up his son and slinging him over his shoulder.

"I love you mommy!" Honggi squeals.

"I love you too, bub." you reply, kissing his forehead.

"Give mommy's belly a kiss before we go." your husband instructs, patting his son's backside.

Honggi kisses your growing stomach and you can only snort at your husband's silliness.

"Okay. Now dada!" your son says, clapping.

The CEO kisses your stomach and then your forehead.

"You're gonna wrinkle your suit." you chide him, leaning back against the counter.

"So worth it." he retorts, giving you a gummy smile.

Two years have flown by in the blink of an eye.

There has, of course, been hard work that's been poured into your marriage whether it be for Honggi or just to be able to spend time together but the honeymoon phase has never truly died down.

You bask in each other's company like lizards under the hot sun.

You thrive when you're both together.

It's fate, really.

"He's asleep," Yoongi announces, stepping into your bedroom.

"Oh, nice. It only took two hours instead of three like yesterday." you know you sound sarcastic but it's really true. Honggi never seems to be able to sleep when he needs to, he's hyperactive in waves and thoroughly enjoys spending time with his father.

"Well tonight we read the big bad wolf and then he got scared so I had to calm him down and stay with him until he finally fell asleep." your husband rambles, peeling off his clothes.

You hum in agreement, sitting up gently.

Yoongi's tattoo of the large family tree on his bicep seems to shine in the dull lights of the room and it makes a smile spread over your face.

"How are my other babies?" he inquires, laying down beside you on the bed.

It's no secret that you adored your son and it's no secret that Yoongi wanted you pregnant almost immediately after Honggi was born. He missed your big belly and the closeness it brought the both of you when you were pregnant. But after Honggi was born, your paintings were flying off the art exhibit walls like hot cakes and you needed time to create new works of art.

While your husband had his tantrums and gripes about it, he understood. Being pregnant is difficult and he knows that, so when you told him he had to wait, he begrudgingly accepted it.

Your art was on hold now, with over two hundred pieces out in the world at any given second, you decided to focus on family.

"They're okay," you promise, running your fingers through your hair.

You can remember when you found out you were pregnant again for the second time. All of your symptoms hit so much harder than the first pregnancy.

"Baby? We gotta go. We're gonna be late." Yoongi calls, peeking into the bathroom.

He didn't expect to find you heaving over the toilet but when he does, two things happen simultaneously. There's a sharp bout of worry and a thinner vein of excitement that spread through his bones.

"What's the matter, my dove? You feel sick?" he pouts, entering the bathroom to rub at your back.

You shiver gently, waving your hand to the large gray cabinets beneath your sinks.

"I'm not a mime, I'm sorry." your husband whispers, raising an eyebrow.

"Pr-Pregnancy test," you plead.

He could just about pass out and die from happiness from those two words.

"Really?! You think so?!" he beams, ripping open the doors and tearing open the cardboard box like some sort of rabid animal.

His hands are shaky when he gives you the test and he helps you off of your knees immediately.

His thumbs rub at the tile indentations on your kneecaps and like always he stares up at you like you hang the moon on a string for him each and every night.

"I'm sorry we're late." you whisper, blotting your mouth with toilet paper.

"This is way more important. Fuck that. Jeongguk can wait." Yoongi avows, watching you cap the pregnancy test.

"We probably aren't even going to make it there anyway," your husband breathes.

"Why not?" you inquire, standing up and smoothing out the skirt of your dress.

The CEO wraps his arms around you, burying his face into your neck. "Because if you are pregnant, I'm gonna have to do some celebratory stuff."

You laugh aloud, running your fingers over his arms. "Stuff like what?"

"Like eating your pretty pregnant pussy and fucking your pregnant cunt." he murmurs against your skin.

You shiver at his words, glancing down at the test.

You hope you are pregnant. There's something insane in women's brains which makes them forget just how painful childbirth is so they can always look forward to more.

But the euphoric feeling of having a baby is well worth the pain, that's something you'll always remember.

"God, I think you are pregnant." he hisses, running his hands over your sides.

"Why do you say that?" you ask, tilting your head to look at him.

"You just feel different in my hands."

"I think you're crazy," you retort with a laugh.

"Why?!" he gasps.

"Because you didn't say anything yesterday when we… y'know."

"When we fucked?" he goads, kissing you softly.

You hum in agreement against his lips and he snorts softly.

"You did feel warmer around me." he announces, hooking his chin over your shoulder.

"It should be ready." you inform him, both of your eyes glued to the face down stick.

"Go on, show me that my baby is in you." he urges, kissing your temple.

Your heart races and your fingers begin to shake as you flip over the stick.

Yoongi holds his breath and you find yourself doing the same.

When you flip it over, the plus sign screams at you and Yoongi breathes a sigh of relief.

Your husband groans happily, picking you up off the ground and spinning you around.

"Thank you baby, thank you!" he cheers.

When he sets you down on the ground, you can't help the thrilled giggle that seeps from you.

"Should we head out?" you ask your husband softly.

The scoff he gives only seems right. "Yeah, right. I have more important things to celebrate than a boxing match."

You can only squeal when he scoops you up bridal style.

Putting his head on your shoulder, your husband takes a deep, calming breath.

His fingertips dance over your distended skin and his lips traipse over your exposed collarbone.

"You're so gorgeous," he breathes, letting his eyes flutter shut.

The smirk that spreads over your face is goofy and flushed, sometimes you find it astounding that he can even be so sweet with you.

There's a tiny kick beneath his fingertips that makes his head lift off of your body.

"What are you up to in there, guys? Fighting or something?" he gawks, feeling another flurry of taps below his hand.

"They don't have enough room," you announce, lolling your head back to the pillow.

"Well, just four more months and you won't have to be cramped anymore." Yoongi promises, sliding down the bed to kiss your belly.

"We should sleep, we have plans for tomorrow."

"Caleb's first birthday party." Yoongi remembers, drifting his lips over your skin.

You nod in agreement, tucking your hand beneath your head to get comfy.

Your husband knows just how difficult it is for a woman with a set of twins inside of her to fall asleep and he's nothing if not doting.

"Lemme put my babies to sleep," he murmurs, sliding his fingers over the soft skin of your inner thighs.

It's fascinating how the Kisung CEO can make you feel as if black coffee pumps through your veins even when you're completely exhausted.

He watches you avidly, making sure this is something you're up for. When your nipples begin to pebble and strain under the flimsy nightgown that can barely contain your swollen flesh, Yoongi knows he's got the green light.

His eyelids lower with lustful intentions and the tip of his tongue glides slowly over his plump bottom lip.

He knows you're excited for anything and everything when your hips lift expectantly.

Clicking his teeth, he pushes your body back down to the bed. "Easy now, little dove. You should know who's in charge here, baby."

Your whimper sounds like the most earnest plea as it passes through your parted lips and Yoongi can feel his cock straining against his briefs for some semblance of relief.

He kisses at your clothed pussy, already feeling how sodden the material is getting in a matter of seconds.

It continues to astound him, two years in, how willing your body is for him.

"Daddy," you breathe softly, carding your fingers through his hair.

His hands caress whatever he can find whether it be your thighs, your belly, your breasts.

"Wet little slut for me." he murmurs, tugging your panties off with his teeth.

You're quick to discard your nightgown, wanting nothing more to be touched anywhere you can get it.

Your husband hums at the sight of your core, pussy lips puffy and swollen with greedy intentions and slick with arousal.

"There she is," he breathes, kissing over your belly.

Palming your breasts in hand, you understand why he's taking so long -- to drive you insane.

He wants euphoria and adrenaline to course through you like wildfire so when it ebbs away, you'll be completely exhausted.

"My beautiful dove." Yoongi professes, spreading your legs wider.

Your eyes are glued to his abs, the way the muscles contort and constrict with each shallow breath he breathes.

You can thank each and every god everyday for the man you're married to.

You know the hierarchy in this bedroom, it rarely ends up with you on top, but the temptation of his thick, hard cock straining against his Balenciaga briefs has you throwing all cares to the wind.

He hisses gently against your distended skin when you cup his long length with your hand.

Yoongi will be the first to admit that he's missed this. He's been sweet and caring, not wanting to trouble you for sex with you being as huge as you are. He knows two babies are way more difficult than just Honggi. But, he needs you. In every single way.

"Play nice, my dove." he chides you softly, kissing up your belly to your swollen breasts.

You don't heed his words, tugging down the band of his briefs and swallowing thickly when his large cock bobs in the air before smacking up to his toned honey stomach.

His eyes flutter shut at the feeling and you know you've neglected him for too long. His cock is throbbing and needy as sin, beads of precum endlessly spurting from the top and slowly traipsing down the head.

"Baby girl," he gasps when you pump his cock in hand.

Yoongi kisses over your puffy nipples, scoffing at the pleasure that vibrates through him with each jerk.

He coos softly when you bead milk for him and his eyes snap to yours. "You didn't tell me your milk came in."

"I-I didn't know," you chirp, pumping his cock harder.

He shivers then, wrapping his lips around your peaked nub and tugging softly. He groans happily at the distantly familiar taste of your milk and his needy hands grip and massage your thighs as he situates himself further between them.

"Daddy, fuck!" you cry out gently, arching your back.

The tip of your husband's tongue is quick against your sensitive skin and you can only whimper for more.

Your shaking thumb runs circles over the swollen, red mushroom head of his cock and he gasps above you, pressing his forehead into your breast.

"Ba-Baby, this is about you. Please," he begs, wrapping his hand around your wrist.

You give a smirk, feeling high and mighty at how quickly you can break him down to a mere lustful animal.

Your free hand rubs circles to your stomach and he can just about cum at the sight of you.

His cock throbs wildly and he forces your hand off of him with narrowed eyes. "Behave, little dove. I won't say it again."

You hide your smirk, laying back down for him.

He eyes you wearily for a second before continuing his dissent on your body. His fingers caress over your sodden lower lips and his name tumbles from your mouth with a quickness.

"You're messy." he prods, spreading your lips with his fingers and tapping your throbbing bundle of nerves with the pads of his fingers.

Your body jolts, bottom lip tucking between your teeth.

God, you've missed this.

You've missed him doting on you so eagerly.

Yoongi continues to take his time, enjoying how your entrance clenches around nothing.

You're a needy little thing and you're all his. The way it should be.

"Daddy, please!" you beg, rubbing circles over your distended skin.

"What's wrong, beautiful? You're too much of a slut to enjoy this? You want gratification now?" he quips, lowering his head to your core.

You can't even see him over your belly and it drives you absolutely mad. You can feel the puffs of hot, needy breath that pass his lips but it does nothing but earn more dripping arousal from your center.

"Such a pretty pussy you have," he purrs, suckling your swollen lips.

You gasp loudly, screwing your eyes shut.

He plays with your entrance, swirling the tip of his index finger around it until your racking with sobs above him.

Yoongi presses the tip of his tongue to your throbbing clit and he groans gently at the feeling.

"Shhh, my dove. Daddy is going to take care of you, I promise." he avows, lapping at your nub with slow strokes.

It's so pleasurable, but it's not enough. You're on the precipice and he keeps you there for what feels like eternity.

"God! Daddy, please!" you beg, bunching your hands up in his hair and tugging.

He hums in fake confusion, adoring how your body shakes before him.

He's good at the long game.

He thrives in it.

When he slips two fingers inside of your slick cunt, you're about ready to burst but he pulls away from your core with a devilish smirk.

"My pregnant wife is so needy," he jeers, curling his fingers with ease to the soft patch of nerves within you.

Your chest constricts, heaving for breath. Your skin develops a thin sheen of sweat and you feel yourself possibly going insane within his grasp.

Picking his face up between the apex of your thighs, the sight of his soaked chin and cheeks hurdles you to the precipice.

"Wanna cum, need to cum!" you chant, cupping your belly while you grind yourself down onto his fingers.

"You hold it," he orders sweetly.

You can only scoff and the animalistic pride within you snaps.

You sit up, as quickly as you can, before pushing him down on the bed.

"Baby," he warns you, pulling his fingers from your heat and entering them into his mouth.

"I need it!" you whine, straddling him.

His hands immediately hold your hips to protect you from any imminent danger you might face. He goes to chide you but when your soaked cunt glides against his hard, thick length, he can only take a sharp breath between his teeth.

"I missed your cock Daddy, I missed it so much," you whine, rocking your hips.

"Oh Christ," he murmurs, gliding his hands from your hips to the globes of your ass.

With every rock of your hips, your clit thrums pleasantly at the feeling of the head of his cock prodding against the bundle of nerves.

Your shaky hands grip at your breasts, swiping your thumbs against your leaking nipples until your sobbing with pleasure.

"You're so gorgeous, fuck," Yoongi curses, enraptured with the sight above him.

Your eyebrows furrow and you're losing yourself in the pleasure as your mouth drops open.

His hands knead at the supple flesh of your backside before rearing back and spanking you with a fierceness that you adore.

"Yes, more!" you gasp, sitting up and positioning his cock at your entrance.

"You're a little cock slut, you know that?" he seethes, leaning up on his elbows to kiss at your belly.

"Your cock slut, Daddy. I'm yours," you whimper, slowly sitting down on his length.

His mouth opens at the euphoric feeling of your warm, wet cunt sliding down on him and he can only fall back to the bed with a heady thump.

"Shit," he breathes out, looking up at you like you give him the universe.

You do.

You give him everything and anything that exceeds his expectations.

You take a second to adjust to his length, preening as the head of his cock prods against your soft cervix.

"Good girl, little dove." he bleats, running his fingertips over your outer thighs.

Yoongi can see the way you swallow thickly and he can tell how fucked out you already are with your eyelids being as heavy as they are and pride blooms in his chest.

"Want you to suckle," you beg, palming your breasts.

He can only scoff at the arousing thought, he's up in a flash, minding your stomach. His lips pluck and suckle at your sensitive skin until you're shaking like a leaf under his ministrations.

"Your cock feels so big in my pussy, feels so good," you purr, rocking your hips.

He moans against your breast, gripping your hips with needy hands.

The rhythm you set as he suckles from you is slow but the impending orgasm you've been denied comes back in waves. The head of his cock taps against the sweet spot inside of you with each jolt of your hips and you're losing your grasp on reality.

"D-Daddy!" you gasp, letting your brain free of any thoughts besides just how pleasurable he feels inside of you.

"That's it, baby girl. Take it. Take what you need from me." he announces, laying back down.

Your hands push down on his chest as you begin to pick up speed and he can only cry out your name like a man possessed.

"Jesus, just like that, little dove. Fuck!" he curses, spanking the globes of your ass until your skin is smarting.

Then you feel the precipice again, you feel yourself teetering.

Your mouth opens to give a silent scream and your eyes well up with tears.

He coos softly, running his fingers through his hair as if the pleasure he's receiving is truly unbelievable.

You groan loudly, pressing your hands beneath your stomach. "I'm-I'm-"

"Cum for me, little dove. I can feel how badly your cunt wants to milk my cock. Cum." he orders and your gasp echoes throughout the room.

Your hands rub comforting circles to your stomach while your hips rock at an unfound speed.

"Yoongi!" you cry, squeezing your eyes shut.

Then -- euphoria.

Your orgasm explodes within you like a million shards of glass. With deafened ears and tear streaked cheeks, you don't even feel your husband lay you down on your back.

He fucks his cock so deeply inside of you that it brings you back to reality in waves.

"God, you look so beautiful taking what's yours, baby." he coos, sitting up.

You can only cry out gently when his strokes become erratic and deeper.

"You want me to cum inside you? You want to drip with me?" he inquires, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth.

You nod incessantly, spreading your legs wider when you feel his cock throb within you.

"Yeah? You want to be my little cum slut? Get so full of my cum when you're already pregnant with my babies?" he seethes through his teeth.

"Y-Yes, want to feel your cum so badly," you hiccup, running your hands over his chest.

His eyes screw shut when your hips meet his every stroke.

"Oh fuck, I'm cumming. God, your cunt is incredible!" he whines.

His hips give one last thrust, burying himself as deeply as possible before the warmth of his cum floods through your battered core.

You hum happily, rubbing your belly.

"I love you," he whispers, bending down and planting a passionate kiss to your lips.

"I love you, too." you reply, hooking your hand around the back of his neck.

After cleaning you up and situating yourselves back to normal, Yoongi pulls your body to cuddle against his. His fingers drift over your bare back and he sighs happily.

You're out like a light in mere seconds when you finally get comfy and he can only chuckle at your shallow breaths.

His hand comes to rest beneath his head and he can't begin to express how lucky he feels.

His attention falters to your stomach when he feels a gentle prodding against his hip. He smirks, kissing the top of your forehead and closing his eyes.

"Mama!" Honggi screams and you know better now than to rush to him whenever he shouts for you.

"Yes, baby?" you call to him, fixing your earrings.

"Want to play with Yumi!" he calls, peeking into your bedroom.

"We're going to see Yumi now." you reply, turning to him.

Your eyebrow raises as you look at your husband's spitting image. "Where are your shoes?" you ask your two year old.

"Dada said I don't have to wear them!" he beams, rolling on the floor with your corgi.

"Oh yes you do, you're not going over to Aunt Leena's house with no shoes on." you reply.

When your husband steps into the doorway, he knows he's made a mistake. Just the look you give him makes him want to run and hide.

"What?" he bleats.

Min Yoongi is obsessed with giving his son whatever he wants. He's obsessed with spoiling him and sometimes you have to look like the bad guy.

"He needs to put on shoes." you tell your husband.

Both of your boys frown at you and it's almost so ridiculous that you can barely contain the eye roll.

"Why?" Honggi chirps.

When you place your hand on your stomach, Yoongi nods. "Mommy's right, you need to wear shoes."

He's quick to avoid chastisement today.

"But why, dada?" your son inquires.

You love the 'why' phase… when it's directed at your husband.

"Because your little feet are gonna be cold and because mommy said so. And what did I tell you about when mommy says something?" your husband whispers conspiratorially to your son.

"That you do it! Mama has two babies a-and mad isn't good for babies!" Honggi says, sticking up two small fingers.

You can only snort, shutting the bathroom light off and leaning against the door frame.

"That's right, bud. So let's get you some shoes."

When your husband goes to leave the room, he widens his eyes apologetically at you and you can't help but giggle.

"Silly," you mumble, grabbing your purse.

Caleb's first birthday is a huge deal.

You know how much work his mother put into it and you know that it needs to be over the top and perfect for her to be thriving and happy with the day's events.

"Miss Thing!" Leena gasps, throwing herself out of the door to hug you.

"Hi Beena," you giggle, wrapping your arms around her.

Taehyung is right behind her with a smile plastered on his face.

"Happy birthday Caleb!" you gasp, taking him from Taehyung's arms.

Yoongi kisses your best friend on the cheek before looking over at her one year old son.

"Hey buddy! Happy birthday!" your husband cheers, watching as Caleb tucks his face into your neck.

It's always astounding to see how much of a one eighty Leena has done when it comes to Taehyung and her family.

You remember how adamant she was on not getting pregnant and not getting married but then when you gave birth to Honggi -- she wanted that.

And you completely understood it.

Now that your best friend is married and having a family, you can see how content and happy she is. It's something you're really proud of.

"Everyone is in the backyard." Leena announces, fixing Caleb's small suit.

"Yumi?!" Honggi screeches, looking past Taehyung.

"Yeah, Yumi too." Leena's husband quips with a laugh.

Yoongi snorts, following after his son.

"Miss Thing, I have to tell you, I would have never in a million years thought we'd see him today." your best friend blurts, guiding you into her mansion.

"Who?" you inquire, handing Caleb back to his father.

Leena's hands clamp down on your shoulders and her eyes widen. "Jin."

"Shut the fuck up," you gasp, pulling her towards the backyard.

There are a multitude of people in the backyard but your eyes find his tall, handsome stature easily.

He's standing by the fountain with his wife by his side and he looks in his element.

It's been months since you've seen your other best friend.

You aren't really sure why he dropped off the face of the Earth. You know he's probably been busy, you all have been.

But you know Leena has taken it the hardest. Jin has always meant something deeply to her so when he didn't return phone calls or texts… you know it burned her.

It's almost as if he feels your eyes on him the way he turns to look at you.

He gives you a warm smile, immediately leaving his wife to make his way across the large backyard.

Yoongi notices how your eyes get glassy when he looks away from Honggi and Jimin's daughter, Yumi. "Jimin, watch him." he orders, leaving to comfort you.

Now, Yoongi doesn't hate Jin, by any means. He respects him and in all honesty, appreciates him for helping him in his dire time of need.

But the CEO will be damned if he doesn't coddle you, his pregnant wife, to his side when you're emotionally distraught.

Seokjin is wary when he sees your husband loop his hand around your hip protectively.

"Shhh," Yoongi coos, hearing your gentle sniffles.

Leena on the other hand, just folds her arms, widening her eyes expectantly at your best friend.

"Hey guys," he bleats, running his hand over the back of his neck.

"That's it? All we get is a 'hey guys' from you?" Leena scoffs.

Jin blushes furiously, cupping his whisky tighter in his hand. "What do you want me to say, Beena?"

"How about a sorry, Kim Seokjin? That'll be the start. Then you can veer off into how apologetic you are for pushing us into the background for her." Leena sneers, nodding her head to Sera.

You take in how nervous Jin is and you absolutely hate it. You hate how small he's making himself look.

"I am sorry." he agrees, grabbing for your hands.

"Maybe you guys should take this inside," Taehyung whispers, looking over the party guests who have stopped their conversations to look over at all of you.

Leena doesn't even give an answer, only trudging back into her mansion with narrowed eyes.

Taehyung clears his throat awkwardly, walking with his son towards Jimin and Anna.

"Do you want me to stay?" Yoongi inquires, brushing some hair back behind your ear.

You nod immediately, wanting the comfort of your husband with you.

"Alright, my love." he promises, kissing your temple.

Seokjin chases after Leena and you can only sigh at the impending yelling you're about to hear.

"Miss Thing, please sit." Leena gushes, pointing to the couch inside the library.

You take a seat, watching Jin wade back in forth nervously like he's waiting for a scolding.

"Did you know that Y/N is pregnant again? That she's having twins?" Leena spits.

"Yes, I did. I'm very happy for her and her husband." Seokjin replies, helping you sit down.

Yoongi pours himself a small glass of scotch, draping his arm over your shoulders.

"Do you fucking understand how sorely you've been missed?" Leena inquires to the handsome man as she sits down across from you.

Seokjin clears his throat awkwardly. "Yeah, I-I do."

"Then where have you been?" you prod, folding your arms.

Your best friend leans back against the large wooden desk. "Listen guys, I've missed you guys so deeply. I need you to know this, okay? I'm sorry that I've been absent from your kids and your lives. I've been dying to spend time with you all."

"Okay. Then where have you been?!" Leena yelps, repeating your question.

Jin takes a deep breath, letting his eyes flutter shut. "I've been trying to start my own family. It's not easy! I've been taking Sera all over the world to different doctors and hospitals to try and see why she can't get pregnant! I've been depressed and down on myself until recently. I'm fucking sorry I abandoned you guys but I needed time to heal my heart."

The news resounds in your ears and you cuddle closer to your husband who rubs your shoulder with his thumb soothingly.

The smugness is wiped off of Leena's face within a second.

"Why didn't you tell us?" she whispers softly.

Jin's fingers card through his hair and with a frustrated huff, he lolls his head back.

"Because it's…it's heartbreaking and not what I want to bring to the table when you guys have families and lives already. I don't want to burden you guys with my troubles." he mumbles, spinning his wedding band with his thumb.

You take a sharp breath between your teeth, standing with the help of your husband who urges you to be careful.

"Jin," you whisper, hugging him tightly.

He stiffens at your touch before wrapping his arms around you. He sobs gently, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

"I did miss you guys, so much. I'm sorry," he cries loudly.

"You don't have to hide your feelings from us. You should feel comfortable to tell us anything and everything. I'm sorry if you didn't trust us enough with your worries." you murmur into his ear.

"No! I just… I was scared, I didn't want to trouble you both." he breathes, pulling away and cupping your face.

"Jinnie," Leena pouts, standing up and hugging the both of you.

"You're never a bother to us, don't ever think that." you coo, fixing his hair.

He takes a deep, calming breath, running his hands over your belly. "One of your kids is kicking me in the ribs." he mumbles.

You can only giggle, patting your eyes with a tissue.

"That's the least you deserve for not trusting us with your fears," Leena scolds him gently.

He nods, exhaling sharply until his cheeks are puffing out.

"So is she?" your best friend asks him.

"What?" he mumbles.

"Is she pregnant?" Leena inquires.

He takes a sharp breath between his teeth, tilting his head. "Something like that."

Your eyes drift slowly over the perfectly manicured lawn watching Honggi offer to share a toy truck with Yumi. His smile is the spitting image of Yoongi’s and it makes you sigh happily. You lean against the arm of the lawn chair, resting your hand against your cheek.

You can barely believe how happy you’ve become over the past two years.

Everything just falls into the right place, everything just fits like a perfect complete puzzle.

Honggi turns to you, flailing his hand wildly and you can only giggle. Waving back, your heart expands to the size of the universe.

Yoongi laughs at something loudly, drawing your attention. You watch him sling his arm over Taehyung’s shoulder and you can only snort at the sight.

You can remember when you never heard his laugh, you didn’t know what it sounded like for quite a while and then… once he began to laugh, it never seemed to end.

That’s something you revel in, your husband’s happiness is yours well.

It gives you great pride to see him beaming from ear to ear. And you don’t think it often but --  you got him here. You got him to this state of happiness.

It’s your best artwork, yet.

“Hey Y/N.”

You look away from your husband to the one person you’d never thought you’d speak to.

“Sera… hey,” you breathe, looking up at her flawless form.

“H-How are you?” she inquires, sipping her water nervously.

You haven’t seen here in two years. She looks good, that isn’t hard for her. Something about her seems calmer and more poised then when you knew her.

“Can I sit?” she asks gently, running her hand over the back of her neck.

“Please,” you insist, sitting up straighter.

You can feel eyes on you and you can only imagine who it is but you don’t dare look away from the actress before you.

While you weren’t her biggest fan, she’s made Jin happy over the past two years and you can’t fault her for that. He hasn’t loved anyone since Leena and you can see that his heart has bloomed since being with this woman.

“No drink?” you quip, pointing at her water.

“I thought, y’know, since my surrogate can’t drink then I shouldn’t either.” she shrugs.

You don’t know what to say if you’re being honest. It must be a sore subject…

“Yeah-” you breathe awkwardly.

“I’m not upset about it, we can talk about it.” she announces, putting her hand to your shoulder.

Sera in all the time you’ve known her has never touched you and you’re surprised at how normal it is, honestly.

“I’m sorry that you… y’know… you’ve had a difficult time.” you say honestly.

You can’t imagine how hard Sera and Jin have been trying, how many hospitals and specialists they’ve gone to, how much heartbreak they’ve gone through.

“At least I’m getting a baby at all, right? I always used to be so angry about the whole situation… Maybe that’s why I was so mean to you.” she admits, carding her fingers through her long, now blonde hair.

You hum thoughtfully, looking up at the dusky sky. “I mean it mustn't have been easy for you either. I came into Yoongi’s life and flipped it upside down. You were comfortable with the situation and I just spun things around like a top.”

“Well… yeah, true. But if you didn’t come into Yoongi’s life then I wouldn’t have been able to become a better person and find the person that’s right for me.” she avows, looking over at you.

Her words resound through you and your eyes widen just the slightest bit. She’s really different these days, huh?

“Well, I came over to say I’m sorry for treating you terribly the whole first time you were pregnant, it was in bad taste and I was so selfish back then that I couldn’t begin to understand how horrible that could be for you.”

“I accept your apology.” you reply, giving her a small smile.

She breathes a sigh of relief, letting her body go lax in the chair beside you. “Oh good, I was so nervous to talk to you. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack or something.” she gasps.

You find yourself giggling and she snorts softly.

“You’re kid is cute,” she comments, watching him run over to you.

“Thanks,” you whisper, widening your eyes at Honggi curiously as he stops in front of you.

“Mama!” he cheers, holding up his paint covered fingers.

“Yes, baby?” you murmur, pushing his hair back.

“I’m painter like you! Look!” he squeals, tugging your hand.

You look over at Sera apologetically, standing up to follow your son.

“It was nice to see you Sera, I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.” you call back to her.

She smiles warmly, giving you a gentle wave goodbye.

Jin could have done worse.

Lowering your head, you look at the picture that your son has painted. The fingerpaint is thick and blobbish but you can see a few distinct shapes that stick out to you.

You don’t say anything at first, letting him finish a few small details that he thinks are important. He gives you his gummy smile, seemingly proud of himself and it makes you smile too.

“It’s very nice, baby. I can see how much work you put into it.” you coo.

“It’s mama and dad, Honggi and baby!” he beams, picking up the picture which is almost too heavy for him with all the paint on it.

Your husband sweeps in beside you, planting a wet kiss to your cheek and taking the painting out of your hands.

“Mommy is having two babies, not just one.” Yoongi reminds him, pointing at your stomach.

Honggi nods fervently, opening and closing his small hands demanding the picture back from his father.

Your husband snorts gently, lowering the picture for his son. You can barely contain the ridiculous giggle that tries to escape you as he draws a black circle next the one already painted.

"Two!” he cheers, sticking up two of his paint covered fingers.

“Good job, bud.” Yoongi chuckles, kissing the top of his head.

“I saw that interaction. You okay?” your husband inquires softly into your ear.

You hum in agreement, wrapping your arm around his waist and laying your head down on his shoulder. “Better than okay,” you murmur, feeling his lips caress over the top of your head.

“Do you think he’s okay?” Yoongi inquires, pulling over the car.

You can’t help but laugh at his worried expression. “He’s fine,” you promise, putting your hand on his knee, “we can go out on a date without him around us all the time. Maya’s got it. Honggi loves her.”

He shuts off the engine, turning to you with a pout spread over his face. “I just miss him, I didn’t get to read him a bedtime story.”

Your heart is warm and you can’t help the giggle you give. “It’s our anniversary, besides it’s just for a few hours.”

He picks up your hand, placing a soft kiss to the back of it. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Happy anniversary, little dove.”

“Happy anniversary, babe.” you reply, with a smile.

The inside of Magic Shop is pristine like always, you’re so surprised that Jin has kept it exactly the same as two years ago. He always loved to change things up but you realize that he probably got so busy since you’ve last been here, he probably hasn’t had time for anything.

The music is quieter than normal and there isn’t a soul in the club. Which makes you understand immediately that Yoongi rented the whole place out.

“You shouldn’t have,” you hiss, giving Hyun a small wave.

“Of course I should have, you deserve the world, baby. Plus, loud music isn’t good for the babies,” he whispers, kissing your cheek.

Your eyes immediately land on the black velvet curtain and the memories of first meeting Yoongi flood through you like water.

“Thanks,” your husband murmurs, grabbing a whisky from Hyun.

When you pull back the curtain, you can only smile at the same leather booth from that fated day.

“Jesus, it even smells the same in here.” Yoongi breathes, running his fingers over the top of the couch.

This room holds so many memories for you but nothing beats the one with your husband.

“God, it’s like it was yesterday. I can still remember that black dress you were wearing,” your husband chirps, sitting down in the same spot he did two years ago.

He pats his lap, setting down his whisky onto the floor and you’re absolutely gobsmacked by how much this feels like dejavu.

“I’m a little big,” you murmur, sitting down slowly.

“Never, you’re gorgeous, little dove.” Yoongi coos, wrapping his arms around you.

His warm hands caress your practically bare thighs and when he looks at you, you can see the sheer love and devotion in his eyes.

“My little dove,” he breathes, drifting his thumb over the apple of your cheek.

You can remember just how smoking hot you thought this man was, how intrigued you were by him in an instant. You remember every single second of your time in this back room. You remember every minute of your days when you found out you were pregnant and how absolutely scared you were.

You can remember his good times and his bad when he was working out his feelings about you.

Nothing has left your mind and you treasure each and every memory -- because they make up who you are. They make up your life.

And it’s perfect. Because you have him.

“You were a good girl that I wanted to break so badly,” your husband announces, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“Well… you did that,” you quip, humming when he presses his face to the crook of your neck.

“Thank you, little dove, really. Thank you so much for loving me and giving me such a wonderful family,” Yoongi gasps.

“Thank you for opening up to me and showing me that our love could blossom into something as perfect as this.” you reply, running your fingertips over his arms.

When he lifts his head, you can see how glassy his eyes are with tears.

“God, I love you, little dove.” he whimpers.

“I love you too.” you reply, kissing him softly.

His lips are plush and soft against yours and you can feel the tears that careen down his cheeks until they’re soaking into your skin. He’s so gentle with you, drifting his hands from your back to your distended stomach.

“My wife,” he chuckles, capturing your chin between his thumb and index finger, “my beautiful, gorgeous, powerful wife who has given me enough love to last eons. I love you so much, little dove, it hurts me.”

There are one hundred and fifty eight ways to say ‘I love you.’ And, they all pertain to Min Yoongi.

He’s a gentle soul and a loving husband that holds high standing with billions of people worldwide. He is sweet, wonderful and a perfect man at the end of the day. And now, everyone sees this side to him.

In the media he is praised and renowned for being a fantastic father and an equally fantastic husband. And to you, nothing could ever be more true,

It was March 23rd, when you saw him and met him. You tasted the finest of liquors and smelt the smoke of the richest Cuban cigars.

It was March 23rd when your life had truly begun.

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