#Whose gonna stop them indeed

[divinekangaroo]

The number of times in s1 and s2 when they crack jokes about shooting officers, too - all without explaining, all never brought to a head until S5 and the ‘whist’ scene with the blackmailed judge.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

tee time

words: 1.5k

warnings: really really overly fluffy, lots of golf talk that idk if its correct yall im not a golfer, rafe squeezes her butt but its not a sexual fic :), lots of kisses omfgggggg these bitches in LOVE (this is a really boring fic im sorry)

“does this look golf-y enough?” you ask rafe as you pout in the mirror, adjusting your skirt again, feeling like your tennis shoes are out of place when you'd usually be wearing heels or sandals.

“baby, we are just playing for fun. you look cute.” rafe says, glancing at his watch.

“should i do my hair differently? pigtails maybe?” you question, twisting your ponytail around your hand.

“baby…” rafe sighs.

“okay, okay.” you raise your hands up. “im done. sorry.” you giggle as you turn to him, pressing a kiss to his lips, having to bend down to where he's sat on the edge of the bed.

“it's okay, you're excited.” rafe says softly, reaching around you to grab the back of your thighs, fingers moving up to your skirt, squeezing your ass.

“i am excited.” you gleam at him. “me and bianca went to putt putt the other day to practice.”

“you're gonna do great, baby.” rafe gives your ass another squeeze before standing, taking your hand in his and leading you towards the door.

you've been wanting rafe to take you golfing ever since you started your relationship, but usually he'd already have plans with topper or his other country club friends, and you didn't want to intrude.

when rafe offered the other day to let you putt for him, you jumped at the chance.

“im not gonna like, ruin your average right?” you ask as rafe pulls into a parking spot.

“no, baby.” rafe laughs softly. “don't worry.”

“okay.” you smile as he gets out of the truck, rounding it to open the door for you. nobody would ever guess that rafe would be a sweet and caring boyfriend, but he looks at you like you put the stars in the sky, and treats you better than you could have ever imagined.

he takes your hand in his as he leads you towards the golf cart, frowning when he realizes you're squinting in the sunlight.

“stay here.” rafe says, allowing you to sit down on his family cart, his clubs already loaded onto the back.

“okay.” you watch as he goes to the truck, jogging to get back to you as he hands you a pair of sunglasses.

“whose are these?” you ask. they look like your style, but you're certain this isn't a pair you own.

“i saw them one day at the mall and thought you'd like them so i bought them.” rafe shrugs. “figured i could keep them in the truck in case you ever forgot yours.”

“raaaafe.” you coo out, pulling him in for a kiss, which he happily accepts.

“ill let you drive once we get further out on the course.” rafe says, sliding into the driver's seat and turning the cart on before wrapping his arm around your shoulder, willing to drive with just one hand even though it was harder, needing you close to him as you press your side against his.

rafe pulls up to the first tee, waiting for a moment to feel the wind on his face before he turns to look at you, noting the way your ponytail is being blown slightly eastward.

“give me a good luck kiss for this drive, baby.” rafe says.

you pucker your lips and press a smack against his lips before he grabs a club. 

you let out a cheer when rafe hits the ball, but honestly you lost sight of it in the air and even if you watched the whole way, you wouldn't have known if it was good or bad.

“yes.” rafe pumps his fist. “need you out here more often, my good luck charm.” rafe climbs back into the golf cart, taking off towards where his ball landed.

“gonna land this on the green for you, baby.” rafe says with a confident smile, and he does indeed get the ball pretty close to the hole. 

you're not sure if cheering is generally accepted on the golf course, but you can't help but hype your man up.

“alright.” rafe pulls the cart to a stop near the ball. “it's on you, princess.”

you step out of the cart, looking at your options before grabbing what you assume is the putter, only because it looks similar to clubs used for mini golf.

“if you don't make it the first time, that's okay.” rafe says, removing the flag from the hole. “i won't be mad.”

“mkay.” you look at the distance to the hole, no silly obstacles in the way like there was in your practice.

you give it the ball a tap, frowning with disappointment when it stops rolling only a foot away from the hole.

“that was actually so good!” rafe says, a smile on his face. “just a little more power and it would have been in for sure.”

you nod, taking a breath before lining up your next shot, letting out a scream and jump in the air as the ball falls into the hole.

“that's par, baby!” rafe wraps his arms around your waist, twirling you around.

“oh my god, we crushed that!” you cheer. 

rafe sets you down carefully, but not before pressing a kiss against your lips.

“wanna drive us to the next tee?” he asks, laughing when you enthusiastically nod. rafe drives you literally everywhere, so you haven't been behind the wheel of anything in months.

rafe retrieves the ball and places the flag back in the hole before getting into the passenger side, a smile on his face as you stick your tongue barely out between your lips in concentration. 

rafe loves the look on your face so much that he insists you drive for the rest of the holes. you're tired by the time you reach the last hole, but don't wanna disappoint rafe by not putting.

“you okay, princess?” rafe asks, running his hand over your ponytail, smoothing it down comfortingly.

“mhm.” you nod, but rafe can see that you're getting sleepy, no doubt ready to go home and take a nap.

“how about we do this putt together, yeah?” he asks.

“yes, please.” you pout out your lower lip, rafe leaning forward to capture it between his teeth, tugging it gently before releasing and kissing you.

rafe stands, moving slowly as you get yourself in position before coming behind you, wrapping his arms around your body to grip onto the stick over your hands. he controls the swing and you watch, your back pressed up against his chest, as it falls into the hole.

“perfect job, baby.” rafe says, snuggling into your shoulder, giving your neck a quick kiss before allowing you to go back to sitting on the cart. you slide over to the passenger seat as rafe returns.

he chuckles gently before driving you back towards the clubhouse, thumb gently stroking against your upper arm as you lean against him, tucked into his side.

“someone is sleepy.” rafe says.

you let out a yawn. “it's not my fault you like to golf early in the day. why can't tee time be after like noon or something?”

“i usually golf at this time because you're still asleep and i don't like to be away from you.” rafe says, parking the cart and leaving it to be put properly away by the workers, needing to get you back home and in bed.

the sun has been covered by clouds, so when you climb back into rafes truck, you take your sunglasses off and place them in the center console for next time you forget yours.

you struggle to keep your eyes open for the short drive back to tanneyhill, not wanting to fall asleep in the truck. you know rafe will drive around aimlessly to not disturb your nap, even if he's tired himself. one time he drove around for an entire night just because he said you looked so peaceful sleeping he couldn't bare to move you.

“home, darling.” rafe says, yours eyes fluttering open, not having gone fully asleep yet but the soothing driving by rafe and hum of the engine had your eyelids drooping.

rafe carries you inside and up the stairs, getting out a pair of pajamas for you to change into despite it being midday.

“how long do you expect me to nap for?” you giggle, changing quickly with the last bit of energy you have left.

you sit down on the bed, knowing you should take your ponytail out and brush through your hair, but your arms don't feel like lifting.

you don't even need to ask rafe before he's moving, carefully taking out your elastic before grabbing the brush off your vanity that he set up in his room not long after you started dating.

he brushes gently through your hair, getting out any tangles that accumulated throughout the golf trip.

you crawl up the bed as rafe changes into a pair of sweatpants, going without a shirt as he sees your eyes closing, struggling to stay awake until he's in next to you.

you snuggle instantly into his chest the second hes underneath the covers, sighing happily when you feel his warmth.

“goodnight, princess.” rafe kisses the top of your head. “i love you.”

with your last waking moment, you manage to mutter those three words back to him.

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[seelestia]

— ❝𝐎𝐇 𝐌𝐘 𝐆𝐎𝐒𝐇, 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍!❞

SUMMARY. "oh my gosh, you're literally my dream person!" here's a list of red flags for you, honey. (inspired by a tiktok trend! the one with the soundboard, iykyk.)

CHARACTERS. wanderer, alhaitham, albedo, childe + GN!reader.

GENRE. full-on crack, some fluff, not-so serious and light-hearted character slander.

CW. has heavy refs to albedo's story / 2.3 event and wanderer's story, brief mentions of blood in childe's part (not detailed/graphic), one brief mention of kissing in wanderer's part, light cussing and terrible humor. + read the alt text on the headers for extra captions, hehe!

THOUGHTS. this is my most unserious work yet and for that, i apologize if this gets too unhinged or inaccurate at some point LMAOOO. red flags are fine, red is my fav color anyway (it's actually light purple) <33 can you guess who's the favorite here 🧍‍♂️

✰ masterlist.

[ WANDERER ]

❝Dream person, huh? That's oddly fitting because the day you win me over is only gonna happen in your dreams too.❞

Has some abandonment and mother issues. ...Yeah. These issues may result in emotional walls as strong and firm as the Great Wall of China but when you break through them, he's never ever gonna let you go (unfortunately). I'd tell you to start running but this silly guy can float and zoom in the air, so best of luck.

You'll only hear crickets if you fall asleep on his chest. On the very rare occasions where he allows you to, that is. If you're into that romantic "falling asleep on your lover's chest while listening to their heartbeat" stuff, you're not getting it with Wanderer here. But if you listen hard enough, maybe you'll get to hear termites or something because he's canonically made out of white wood. (I'm joking, I love him too.)

Terrible with feelings. He'd rather jump off a cliff than start talking about his feelings. ...Okay, fine. Harboring humane emotions is an annoyingly blurry line that he has vowed to stop caring about after regaining his memories. It doesn't mean he doesn't cringe at himself every now and then, though — knowing that he has talked about his feelings to someone else (only you and Nahida) keeps him up at night, as embarrassing as it is to admit. ("Hey, do you remember that one time when you told me—" "I don't.")

May prioritize his pride over you sometimes. Let's take a rainy day as an example. It's pouring cats and dogs which means that the risk of catching a cold is high as ever... thus, as the rain begins to soak you, you turn to your companion (whose clothes are saved by the hat on his head) with puppy eyes. His reply comes in the same speed as a lightning strike; "No," he says. Beg and cry if you want, he is not letting you under his hat because it's "not a damn parasol". Fine, maybe he just doesn't care about your well-being and that's totally fine (sarcastic) — but the very next second, as he grabs your wrist and starts dashing to a nearby inn with you in tow — you can't help but let a small smile slip. Maybe he does care? Pride just gets in the way sometimes.

Might accidentally suffocate you when you two kiss because how the heck is he supposed to remember that humans need to breathe when your lips are just so soft for no reason? Ugh, humans and their ridiculous needs (derogatory but he still loves you simp).

Has a long list of crimes and felonies that we don't talk about. Ah, yes, the courtesy of being a previous Fatui Harbinger, indeed. Irminsul may have forgotten about this list, but the Wiki sure as heck hasn't.

[ ALHAITHAM ]

❝So, you consider me someone who fits your type? I see. Unfortunately, knowing whether or not I fit into another person's ideals doesn't have much value to me.❞

Books > people. Is that really a flaw? He doesn't think it is. Books are a source of knowledge and aren't they supplements that enrich the minds of those who read them? Not to mention, there is no need to cater to whatever social standards with inanimate objects unlike when you're around people. ...But apparently, Kaveh told him that this mindset "makes him look like an absolute loner with no social skills and no friends whatsoever" to which he'd usually bite back with an "at least, I have a stable housing." TLDR: books are Alhaitham's closest friends and that's a little sad (he doesn't care about other people's opinions, though).

Unreachable when his soundproof headphones are on. Shush, he is in his official (but not-so-official) 'Do Not Disturb' mode. Sorry in advance, he may or may not accidentally ignore you when his soundproof headphones are on. If you want to have a few words with him, either be patient and wait or make sure they're of absolute importance lest you risk being given the deadliest, emptiest stare ever known to mankind. If looks could kill, you would've keeled on the spot. Instant unintentional (??) homicide, so true of him.

Awkward with small talks. Alhaitham is good at talking about topics that really matter and he very much prefers it that way too. But that's the thing; when the discussion of that particular subject ends, that's it. He often dodges the silence in a 'cool' way, though; either by taking an early leave or bringing out a book if the situation there still needs him present. (In his defense, if no one wants to start and carry the conversation, then isn't it a bit hypocritical to count on him to do that too?)

Physical affection stupefies him (it'll take time). Alhaitham doesn't hate it, no, but something about it just doesn't align much with his sense of familiarity. He usually keeps his distance; even with new acquaintances, shaking hands has never been his thing and it's been a long time since Alhaitham has had someone he feels comfortable enough to receive physical affection from or to give some of it to (his grandmother was the last, maybe). By all means, this isn't meant to be a sob story — it's just brought up to explain that physical affection is a thing he's not familiar with, so it'll take some time to get used to. Good luck to those with physical touch as a preferred love language (me), this feeble scholar who may turn into a stiff log when you hug him is in your capable hands!

[ ALBEDO ]

❝Is that a compliment of some kind? I must say it's certainly not one I hear very often, thus I feel inclined to appreciate it all the more. Thank you.❞

Has a lab located in Dragonspine. Yes, this is a red flag because look me in the eyes and tell me you would realistically travel up that death trap of a mountain every single time just to spend time with him. He comes down from the mountain at least twice or thrice a month, so you'll still get to see his pretty face regardless, just not as frequently — so, it's either you exchange letters every week or you go trekking up Dragonspine to see him yourself. (There is a better place to die on than that wretched mountain, but I digress.)

His mother caused world destruction and he has a twin brother that is out for blood (Imposterbedo). ...Seriously, what the heck is going on in this family? We need to keep an eye on them like they're fascinating wild animals on National Geographic, for real. If you don't mind crazy in-laws that might commit felonies against you (also looking intently at Alice as I say this, by the way), then you're all good to go! Aha, just watch your back and be safe out there, comrade.

Babysitting Klee comes as a 2-in-1. If you're good with kids, great! If you're not, good luck! You know what they all say; a child's curiosity is only limited by the skies (and a guardian's supervision), so be prepared for when Klee starts tugging you around to go fish blasting or exploring with her. Being with Albedo means you get to see her a lot and she's such an adorable ball of sunshine! But the way she innocently hands you a little bomb like it's a slice of Fisherman's Toast and not a weapon is certainly something to remember, huh? (At this point, this is basically an extra to my previous point about questionable in-laws.)

Eats spiders (not often, but has eaten them and that's concerning). Granted this only applies to a specific type of large spiders that can be found at the roots of Petrified Trees in Domains (in the words of the Chief Alchemist himself), but there will definitely be a time where he goes: "Are you hungry? If I remember correctly, there are still some smoked spiders left from the other day. Fortunately, the temperature here in Dragonspine aids in the preservation method—" Spiders can be cute to some and a nightmare to some, but the fact that he has a whole recipe for it really makes you want to know the how and most importantly, the why. Does he sprinkle parsley on them or some stuff like that, ayo? (at least, if you ever get stuck in a domain one unlucky day, this recipe might help you survive? thanks??)

[ CHILDE ]

❝Oh? I've never been called a dream person before. ...Heh, that sounds new, I like the sound of that!❞

Thinks combat and battles are a better substitute for oxygen. Okay, that may be somewhat of an exaggeration — but it isn't an understatement to say that the thought of challenge rushes the blood into Tartaglia's veins. Not one for the secretive schemes most Harbingers do, this man would even go charging ahead if that guarantees he'll encounter a good fight. Like seriously, if he and a fellow Harbinger are heading to a place where there is a good opponent, you bet Childe is about to speed there first. You could say he is speeding towards uncertain death, essentially.

Might have come home with blood on his cheek once or twice. And what's worse is that this guy probably doesn't even realize it's there. Sorry, he was just too caught up in the moment to properly notice any leftover 'trophies' from his previous fights... Aha, don't worry about it! ("I'm home!" Tartaglia cheers loudly as he, quite literally, throws open the front door to your shared home — only to be greeted by that dumbfounded look on face. "Please tell me that's just juice on your cheek," you frown. He scratches the side of his neck awkwardly, "Uhh. Things didn't go particularly well when I was collecting debts.")

A warrior in the streets, also a malewife who can make you treats. Why does he have that double side for, huh? For other people to swoon over and fall for? No way someone can be a househusband and a good fighter simultaneously. What do you mean he can cook and clean then beat up anyone who threatened you the next? And you're saying he is genuine about it too? I say deception, deception, deception! Sue this fellow for fraud this instant. (This might actually be a green flag in disguise, but you didn't hear that from me.)

No good with saving money. He's stinky rich and most of it might be from the Fatui. You have to wonder whether each Mora he gives goes on the Fatui's tab or something like that... You don't find the idea of owing something to the Fatui fun, but it's so ironic how you're more worried about this than the Eleventh Harbinger is. Welp, at least, you don't have to worry incessantly about saving money now...? ("There's that thing you said you wanted to buy the other day, right? Here you go, honey!" "Tartaglia, why is this Mora pouch heavier than a toddler—")

Has a long list of crimes and felonies that we don't talk about #2. You could definitely argue that Childe might have the least mind-boggling list of crimes amongst the Harbingers all, though. (And does he slay for that? Who knows.)

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

© SEELESTIA, mar 2023. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.

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[save-the-villainous-cat]

Could you write a spicy thing with a villain and hero who’ve been fighting for a long time and basically see each other as friends or friendly rivals at this point, and the villain starts trying to flirt, expecting the hero to just brush them off, but the hero flirts back— like, really well— and it’s agonizingly (sexually) tense for a moment and then the hero just snatches the moment away with a joke and a wink, leaving the villain dumbstruck?

Very specific I know— it is absolutely okay if you don’t want to do it, no pressure!! I love your writing style <3

"Oh my god," the hero gasped. Their lungs burnt from the fight and they needed to put their hands on their knees as they took in greedy gulps of air. Sometimes, they asked themselves why they had chosen a job which forced them to do physical activities. What an actual nightmare. "That was..."

"Unexpected, yeah." The villain next to them looked down at the bodies and they seemed fairly unimpressed. They were completely calm, not even breathing heavily. They had been efficient and the hero would've found it unfair if the villain wasn't so nice about it.

"Unexpected? I thought we were gonna die." Slowly, their body calmed down. Their racing heart found a rhythm even the hero could agreed with. Their gaze turned to their nemesis whose eyes were basically glued to the hero. At times, the villain looked at them like they were the centre of the world but the hero figured, they did that to everyone every once in a while, just to freak people out.

"I thought no one was supposed to be here," the hero said. The mission, in its entirety, was rather simple: break into the facility to steal documents and get out alive. The team-up was spontaneous. Months ago, the hero would have been suspicious but now, the villain was rather an annoying friend they disagreed a lots with than someone they wanted to decapitate.

"That was the plan." The villain tilted their head and closed their eyes, as if they were trying to gather their thoughts.

"We need to be more careful," the hero said. "Security seems to be more intense than we thought."

"Nothing we can't handle." The villain shrugged. "You're bleeding."

"Wha—?" The hero followed the villain's gaze and, indeed, there was a huge cut in their biceps. The hero hadn't noticed it, hadn't even felt any pain. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, they could see this being a problem.

"Sit down."

"I'm okay," the hero answered.

"You're not okay and I won't catch you if you fall over. Sit down." The hero rolled their eyes and (reluctantly) sat down. Immediately, the villain was on their knees and held the hero's arm, observing the injury. Luckily, they had thought of bandages which was something the hero never did. They wondered if they should start carrying those around with them.

"You're being dramatic." The villain's hands worked fast as they bandaged the hero's wound. It hurt more than the hero wanted to admit. Whenever the villain was a little too harsh, they swallowed a groan. "It's just my arm."

"Yeah and in an hour it's just your pretty face." The hero stared at them. Admittedly, their face felt quite hot. Suddenly, they were all too well aware of the proximity between them. The villain's fingertips were warm and they were gentle, despite the raging pain the hero endured. The villain was kind and funny. They cared enough to make the hero greedy for more.

Someone they could give everything, the good and the bad. The hero wished they could be that person for the villain and vice versa.

Was it a sarcastic comment, though? Or did the villain mean it? Did they really think the hero was pretty? And not this broken thing that needed help? God, the hero sometimes really felt like they weren't anything more than a burden. Even back then, the villain had done most of the work.

"I don't have a problem with that," the hero answered quickly. "If it means that you'll be on your knees for me again."

The villain stopped and looked up. Their eyes found the hero's before they dropped down to the hero's lips. Shy. The hero had managed to make the villain shy. Even though the villain had always tried to portray someone heartless and cold, they were blushing now and the hero's heart was beating so loud, they feared the villain could hear it too.

Sometimes, they wished they weren't enemies. Sometimes, the hero hoped they could trust the villain forever. But they knew that was a dream and they were scared of the day when it turned out that the villain would betray them.

"I-" The hero watched them swallow.

God, they wanted to kiss them so bad.

"We should go," the hero said. They forced a smirk and winked. "I doubt the documents will fly away but you never know."

"Oh...yeah..." The villain watched as the hero stood up and for the rest of the day, they seemed rather distracted.

[carlyraejepsans]

The outer walls of the castle are cold and hard under your hands as you flatten yourself against them in your descent. The castle is close enough to the mouth of the cave that a chilly updraft laps at your clothes even here, underground, threatening your balance. You don't try to look down. You already know it's a nasty fall from here.

Yet as you reach the window ledge and finally haul yourself into the room to plant your feet on firm carpeted ground, two things make themselves apparent to you.

The first is that you are now in significantly more danger than you were hanging over a precipice only a moment ago.

The second is that there's a tornado in the room.

Some small part of your brain finds it funny how the two things are completely unrelated.

You were never sure what to expect, but this certainly wasn't it. Calling the room “messy” isn't just an understatement, it's an insult to its art.

Its former life as a simple, perhaps even elegant castle bedroom peaks through the layers of grime and scattered junk like the skeletals remains of a slowly digested creature. The Mediaeval styled wooden structure of the bed is undermined in effect by the cheap, bare mattress laid on top of it, and the ball of crumpled bed sheets standing proud in its centre like a king. All around the room papers, clothes (socks mostly, you spot a literal pile of them in the corner), assorted bags of snacks and colorful confetti litter the floor. Even the carpet itself is disgusting, something that becomes obvious when you take a step away from the window and the fibres stick to the soles of your shoes. Greasy like sugar coated fingers, or sweat or…

You decide to stop thinking about it.

The room is furnished, if furnished is indeed the right word, with a decrepit library covered in a good two inches of dust, a dresser, a writing desk with what looks like a week worth of clothes and a pair of sunglasses haphazardly thrown over the back of its chair, and a lit fireplace whose light doesn't quite match the flames you could glimpse from the outside, underneath the door. Pink glitter faintly dusts the floor, but that doesn't tell you anything. Glitter is everywhere in the palace. If anything, this room is abnormally clear of it. Perhaps the only thing about it that could ever be described as “clear”.

And, right in the middle of it all, a treadmill.

You're not sure if it's more or less surprising than the tornado.

You take a deep breath and focus. You came here for a reason, after all.

-->

[orionsangel86]

Seeing criticism of Good Omens Season 2 on here is a wild ride for me because I generally seem to agree with everything gomens critical people are saying whilst at the same time still absolutely loving gomens S2.

It's like this: Okay so you have written this super popular book revolving around this precocious kid who happens to be the antichrist whose birth kickstarts the apocalypse. The four horseman turn up as well as these other strange human characters one of which is an actual witch whose great great great grandmother wrote an accurate prophecy book which predicts armaggedon. Through a series of somewhat hilarious events, the kid, his friends, and the other weird humans manage to stop the apocalypse.

Also throughout the whole thing there are these angel and demon characters fussing about getting into arguments but not actually doing anything to forward the plot or make any difference to the main storyline. For some reason everyone reading the book finds these characters far more compelling and entertaining and seems to think they are the main characters. But they are not.

Then the book gets adapted into a show and the focus shifts onto the angel and demon characters because obviously they are the popular ones that everyone loves. So what's a writer to do when the fan favourite characters basically don't have any part in the primary plot points? Give them a more coherent side plot steeped in romantic tropes and claim that they are in love. Boom. Instant fandom catnip.

But then you are presented with a problem. The show has become super successful and everyone wants more story. You may have discussed a sequel over the years with your writing partner but it never really came to anything probably because its difficult to plot out a sequel centred around two characters who weren't the protagonist of the first book, and that story is done and dusted. Whats a writer to do?

Lean into the fans thirst for more angel on demon action and write what amounts to high budget fanfiction pulling the love story b plot of season 1 into the main focus for season 2. Of course book purists are gonna hate that!

Any legitimate sequel to Good Omens should have centered around Adam. The former antichrist now coping with everything he went through growing up a normal human whilst still having a creeping sense that its not quite over, that maybe heaven and hell still have a part for you to play in their grand plan. Sure, Crowley and Aziraphale could have been involved, continuing their b plot love story, but at least this way the sequel would have been more consistent with the plot of season 1.

The problem with continuing Adam's story is that, and I mean no disrespect here, no one cares about Adam. Adam and his friends are the weakest elements of season 1. People tune into Good Omens for the Crowley and Aziraphale show, and Neil Gaiman knows this.

The plot of Gomens S2 is weak. The mystery around Gabriel is a bit silly, and is only connected to the season 1 plot in the loosest sense. The fact that he and Beelzebub speedrun an angel/demon romance is bizarre and does come out of left field... like something out of fanfiction. It also does indeed rob some of what made Crowley/Aziraphale so special - the fact that they were unique in their love and respect for each other despite being on opposite sides. Also I wish Maggie and Nina were given more development (and less clunky dialogue).

The only criticism I really don't agree with is the criticism that Aziraphale was written out of character, because quite simply, season 1 never ever resolved the fundamental issue at the center of Crowley and Aziraphales relationship. Throughout season 1 Aziraphale constantly insults and berates Crowley, claiming he's the "bad one" and refusing to accept that they aren't on opposite sides. There have been plenty of metas stating that this was all out of fear and a need to protect Crowley, and sure, you can interpret it that way, but not once in season 1 does Aziraphale actually say "yes we are on our side. Yes we are the same. I was wrong to claim you were bad when you've clearly been showing me how good you are for millennia." Its maybe implied that he has learned, but its never truly confirmed, because season 1 wasn't about Crowley and Aziraphale and their relationship. But season 2 takes its lead from that.

It's just rather amusing to me how the discourse that has built around season 2 seems to be fundamentally forgetting these points. GOS2 isn't really a sequel to Good Omens. It's a spin off. It's a spin off about Crowley and Aziraphale and their silly relationship drama whilst they deal with a silly low stakes mystery regarding Heaven and Hell (also characters that were barely involved in the book if at all!). It doesn't really tie into the first story at all.

In my opinion, all it needed to link it more closely to season 1, was to bring back Frances McDormand as God to do the narration. If that had happened, season 2 would have been just fine. As it stands, it comes across rather like a spin off fanfiction. But I love fanfiction, and I have always only ever watched Good Omens for Aziraphale and Crowley. To me, season 2 is fantastic, its like if Supernatural had a spin off show all about Castiel in which he is the lead character, and part of the main A plot is him getting together with Dean finally - Dean being the love interest in this particular show. Amazing. 10/10 would watch another 15 seasons of just that - but general Supernatural fans who aren't fandom specific would probably HATE IT.

So yeah, I do understand the criticism its receiving, but I find it funny, because ultimately Neil Gaiman gave fans exactly what they wanted, he gave them an Ineffable Husbands fanfiction - M/M Romance, F/F OC Side Pairing, Rated: Teen and Up, #Fluff, #Dancing, #Excessive Jane Austen References, #Crack Treated Seriously, #Surprise Final Pairing (check the end notes for spoilers!), #Miscommunication, #Love Confessions, #First Kiss, #Angst #Hurt/No Comfort, #Cliffhanger Ending.

Can any of us really say we wouldn't immediately click "proceed" on this fic and then stay up til 3am reading it til our eyes bled? Me neither.

[browneyedartist01]

My thoughts during the final hour of acomaf:

(Bare in mind that I notched up the speed to 1.5 then 1.75, and these thoughts are not in order)

-"You don't need proof that it works, I'm proof that it works-"

Weren't you made by high lords?

-"I will destroy your court."

And I will hate you. More so than I already do

-"He held out his hand like I was some pet."

"Come home."

My thoughts:

"Come home with me."

"Who are you?"

"The man whose gonna marry you, I'm Orpheus."

"Who am I?"

"Eurydice, *laughs* the girl who makes me wanna sing, the women I'm marrying."

-Why dose the evil man sounds like a radio announcer?

-Lucian really setting the bar higher already in how to care for your mate, as expected. (Go little Rock star)

-He broke through the bounds that a high lord couldn't break through just to go to her?!?!

-And he gave her his coat to cover her??

-"There were different kinds of torture I realized, there was ones I went through, what Rhys went through and then this."

Yeah, now you know how Tamlin felt utm.

- Did Nesta just give the evil king the middle finger? Ew, sarah cringe stop it.

-Cassian just keep dying sweetie, don't touch Nesta.

-Nesta be nice to your future brother in law.

- Freye unlocked a new power, somehow.

-Cheesy, this is all so cheesy.

- "his green eyes met mine, the sorrow and tenderness in them was the most hideous thing I've ever seen."

Wow, ok...

-Tamlin acting like Ryhsand though with Tamlin it's justified/understandable

- *me counting down the final 22 minutes while freye is dying*

-"I nerely gagged on his scent."

Freye darling, I get your upset about his deal with evil king. But he literally tried to save your sisters, stop being so dramatic.

- "my family."

It's been 3 months girly.

- "Tamlin ignored Lucian, so I did too."

Sums up Freye and Lucain's friendship

-Of course all the queens' want is eternal youth,

- Lucian naturally being the smartest one in the room.

-Noooo, not Ryhsand pov. 😭 this better not be the last 17 minutes.

-Holy crap, I just realized how similar this ending is to season 2 of lore olympus ending.

-Don't worry, the bat boys plot armor is thick. Sarah loves you monsters too much.

-Mor don't rip out the arrow it will only make it worse.

-Ryhsand please think, do you really think Tamlin would actually partner with evil king? He didn't even trust evil fae women when she first appeared, what makes you think he would actually help him beyond getting freye back?

-"she is my mate, my wife, the high lady of the night court."

BANG, CRASH A LIGHTING BLAST! (no joke there was thunder after he said this in the dramatized version)

I have 2 thoughts on this one:

1. There was a fan theory during the court trial in lore olympus (persephone was on trail for mass murder, long story) where hades and persephone got married before the trail started because at one point he called her his wife. This wasn't the case because she was 20 and he was in his 2000 (aka 40's) Idk if Rachel was a fan of acotar and wanted to steal from it (since acomaf was released in 2016 and the trial was released in 2020) but because people guessed it she dropped it. Idk that's just a my own theory.

2. How can she be the high lady when the mother is the one to give out titles? Do you realize what you just start Ryhsand? This could lead to more war against the more religious courts, this could lead to the end of the night court if the mother finds out... oh wait, this is acotar. Not real high fantasy, there's no real religious world building.

-"I've forgotten how quiet it was here, how small, how empty"

You do this every time freye, anytime your some where "better" you always just stick your noise up at your old home.

-Freye acting high and mighty towards Tamlin as if she wouldn't had praised Ryhsand for doing the same thing.

- Lucian, you are truly the best character.

-"My sister mate, the mother did indeed seem to have a sense of humor."

What do you mean? He would be a great mate. But then again you're suffering because of it...which makes it so much better.

- "as if he could do that to anyone."

But- but he did freye. And tbh I think he would have done worse to you if he deemed it necessary.

-Freye is really giving evil queen vibes. I wish I could enjoy it, but I know sarah is going to make her the "hero"

And that's it, Thank Saints.

[mageofseven]

Hi there! I love your blog; I found it in 2022 and fell in love with your writing, and was disappointed to see you weren’t active anymore. I stumbled across you again when a mutual reblogged one of your more recent fics, and I’m so happy to see you’re back (and indeed alive)!

If it’s possible, could I request headcanons or a scenario (whichever you prefer) for poly!mc (who is dating all 7 brothers. And the dateables if you feel like it) announcing they’re pregnant, but bc they’ve been sleeping with all of the boys, they have no clue who the father is? I totally understand if you don’t want to write this.

Haha, yes I am alive. I had to leave for multiple reasons; one being the most common reason: life, man 😅

Still, thank you so much for checking out my stories even when I was away! It's always good to hear that people get enjoyment out of the things I write.

Also, another Nonnie recently requested some poly!MC where they date the brothers so I think they'll be happy to read this too~

I think I will add the unDatables to this as well because I've developed an extra strong love for them lately 🥰💕

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

How MC Found Out:

MC discovered she was pregnant through Simeon.

Angels have a special the ability to sense life (or in this case, pre-life) and this man had been sensing something different within the human for a few weeks now.

When he discovered that the blurry feeling attached to MC was a baby though, he didn't know how to bring it up.

He didn't know how his Feather would feel about her condition, but assumed that if she wanted a child, she would have brought up with at least one of the men that she loved so dearly.

The angel could just sense that this would be hard on her

And he was right.

MC cried into his embrace, scared of how the other men would react.

No matter how much she thought about it, the human couldn't pinpoint which man could be the father. I mean, it's not like she writes down in a notebook every time she sleeps with one of them.

And what if the one who is the father doesn't want their baby? Or what if the others are upset because its not theirs? Or...what if none of them wanted to be with her now that she'll be a mom?

He reminded her that the other men were good people who loved her just as dearly as he did.

MC had to tell the others and Simeon was going to support her every step of the way.

With Simeon's help, she gathered all of the men at HoL and tearful announced that she was pregnant, that someone in this room was going to a father.

Lucifer:

The only emotion he let show on his face was shock

But there was so much more swirling around in his chest.

The idea that this child could be his truly scared him.

I mean, he's already a father...and a terrible one at that, he felt.

He did not want this baby to be his; he did not want a second child to risk hurting.

Still, if this child was his then he wouldn't abandon them; abandon MC.

Regardless of whose child they are, Lucifer was going to be there for his Love no matter what.

Summary? This man is scared shitless and doesn't want the child, but is ready and willing to support MC.

Mammon:

"What??"

Unlike Lucifer, he is obviously upset.

I mean, MC is freakin' pregnant.

And that means either he's gonna be a dad and has to get his shit together

Or one of the others, even one of his own brothers, knocked up his Human and honestly, he's not okay with that.

Yeah, he knows this poly relationship thing means he has to share his girlfriend but he did not sign up for one of his brothers to knock up MC.

Honestly has no fucking clue what he wants.

I mean, yeah, he's always kinda wanted a kid, but not now.

One look at the tears flowing down his girlfriend's cheeks though was all he needed to toss all of that that complicated shit aside and promising her that she doesn't gotta worry because The Great Mammon is gonna be here for her no matter what.

Summary: Scared, confused, but has MC's back just like always.

Leviathan:

Levi.exe has stopped working

Which, in fairness, happens a lot because of this women

But it's not funny this time!

Like Mammon, he's both terrified of it being his kid and not being his kid.

Unlike Mammon though, the third brother isn't sure he could handle it if the baby turns out not to be his.

Honestly, he's not too sure what he'd do if the baby's not his.

Hell, he's not sure what he'll do if it is.

This man just wants to hide away in his room indefinitely.

Summary: PANICKING, doesn't think he wants the kid, just wants to hide away.

Satan:

This is one of the last things the wrath demon wants to hear, but he also acknowledges that this was bound to happen at some point.

I mean, he's not exactly found of children.

Even if this child isn't his, the man still has the issue of his Kitten becoming a mom and essentially making him a step dad.

As much as he hates the idea, he acknowledges that this is the best alternative.

Leaving MC over this is not even an idea that the fourth brother is humoring

But he'd also rather that the child not be of his flesh and blood.

Has decided to never let MC hear such thoughts from him though.

Summary: logical but adverse, does not want the child to be his, but will stay by his Kitten's side no matter what.

Asmodeus:

Immediately runs up to his Dolly to hug her

And kisses her tears away.

Promises her that everything will be okay and this is a happy thing!

Plus, he'll be by her side through it all, no matter what!

Tries to get the other men in the room to speak up too and tell her everything is fine

Because hello! Crying MC over here! Get your priorities in order!

Summary: Worried about MC, will be happy regardless of whether the child is his or not, and is fiercely supportive.

Beelzebub:

Boy's brain is buffering

Like he was so confused at first about why his Muffin was so upset.

Like, there's gonna be a baby here in HoL! How can that not be a happy thing?

Then he remembered how his twin dislikes kids and realized that he doesn't know how the other men feel about them.

Suddenly becomes very upset for MC and walks up to give her a big hug

But is very mindful about how tight he hugs her because he understands that his Muffin is basically a walking plus one right now so he needs to be gentle.

Tells her that he's here for her and her baby no matter what.

Yes, Beely would love it if the baby was his own, but will still love this child if it's not because it's his Muffin's.

Summary: Confusion melts into concern, wants the baby to be his but will love it even if its not, agrees with Asmo that MC is the priority and wants everyone to be on the same page.

Belphegor:

"You gotta be kidding me."

Believes this is one of the worst things to happen to him

And is now becoming paranoid that maybe he's the one who fucked up.

I mean, they always used protection, but those runes aren't foolproof.

All it could have took was his hand to be just slightly sloppy when drawing the rune below her navel beforehand for the whole thing to be faulty

And the sloth demon didn't always check his work, so to speak.

Does not, under any circumstances, want this kid to be his.

Hell, he doesn't want this kid to exist at all.

But that's not his decision and he knows this.

He felt like things were going so good and now its ruined.

Still...the man was still indebted to her. He killed his Human once before and it was the worst mistake of his life.

He can't take it back; that's why aims to just make her happy

So this man isn't going anywhere, no matter how miserable he gets.

Summary: angry at himself and paranoid, does not want the child at all, but is going no where while his Human needs him.

Diavolo:

The prince's initial feeling was excitement.

I mean, MC's pregnant! He could be a dad!

And honestly, this man would love nothing more than to have a child with his Queen.

He understands why MC is upset and is very vocal with comfort, telling her that she'll get through this, that they will all get through this.

Another man that would be okay with the child not being his.

Don't get him wrong; he wants that child to be his so badly

But will also be accepting if it turns out that they're not.

If the child is not his, he will still be good them to them and his Queen

But also plans on asking MC in the future if she could give him one of his own.

Please MC, make this man a Daddy 🥺

Summary: Excited and tries to help the situation, really wants the baby to be his, stands by his Queen no matter what.

Barbatos:

Pursed his lips at the news, but ultimately says nothing.

Is pained just by seeing his Dear's tears, but hesitates to step forward and comfort her because of the other men already doing so.

This situation was one of the reasons why he wasn't too pleased about this poly relationship.

The butler didn't necessarily mind sharing his girlfriend with the other men

Nor did he mind that her baby might have been conceived with one of the other men.

What he did mind, however, was just how spread thin she seemed some days.

MC put so much effort in keeping the peace and trying to keep things fair for the men, even when it became mentally exhausting

So for her to be made afraid of the very reactions of the men who could have been the one to have brought her into this situation?

Grows a bit of resentment towards some of the others.

Barb couldn't hold much sympathy for them while knowing all that MC has done for them.

Will stick by her and her child no matter what.

Hopes that this child is not his, but only because his power to see into the future is genetic and when you lack the skill to control it, it can be mentally torturous.

Barb would never wish such a thing on a child hence why he'd prefer it to not be of his blood.

Summary: Concerned for MC and resentful of the men who are making this worse for her, does not want the child to be his because of a genetic issue, but is prepared to take care of MC and the child.

Solomon:

Frowned upon hearing this announcement.

It wasn't because of the pregnancy though.

In truth, the sorcerer was more or less ambivalent about children.

I mean, he did well enough with them and got along well with Luke

But its never exactly been a priority to have his own.

Honestly, Soli didn't even mind the idea of his little Minx carrying the baby of another man; I mean, they all agreed to share her and things like this happen sometimes.

What bothered him was how upset she was.

Told his little Minx that there was nothing to be afraid of.

There's this saying that it takes a village to raise a child and in truth, MC had quite the village in front of her.

Things will work out; it will just take some time.

Summary: Concerned for MC, does not care if the child is his or not, prepared to weather through this storm with his little Minx.

Simeon:

Kept an arm around her while she broke the news to the others.

The angel wished he could take her suffering away, but could only stand with her as she cried.

Has never stopped supporting her since the moment he sensed her pregnancy and will continue to support her.

These other men, many of whom he'd consider a friend, surely will understand.

The situation is difficult, yes, but MC needs them all now more than ever.

Does not truly stop to consider if this child is his or not.

Angels generally don't procreate. Then again, that is because the method of doing so is forbidden in the Celestial realm.

Yes, he and MC have a pretty active bedroom life

And yes, he has just as much of a chance of being the father as the other men

But such thoughts have not even occurred to him yet because he's been so focused on MC and her feelings.

Still, if the child does end up being his, he will love it dearly.

If the child ends up not being his, he will still love it dearly.

This child is his Feather's after all so he will make sure they grow up safe and loved.

Summary: Solely focused on MC's wellbeing, hasn't realized the fact that he himself could be this child's father, will fervently support the woman during this hard time.

[sea-owl]

You know, I still want an AU where Mebuki and Kizashi become the team parents for team 7. I have only found one so far and that's Rays of Spring Sunshine by sparklyfaerie over on AO3.

So let's add some more to the internet, lets make a childhood friends au for team 7. For shits and giggles we could also potentially add Sand Cousins to this AU later, also Merchant Haruno clan. (For those wondering what those are here's a link or two or three)

Okay, so here's what I'm thinking. We have merchant Kizashi Haruno who moved to Konoha to help expand business. Mebuki, who was originally from Suna, was a chunin level ninja during the war but retired after and moved with her husband. After the move to Konoha they have Sakura.

Mebuki has gotten a job in the village as a social worker or the equivalent to that. Because of her previously being a shinobi, a lot of her cases are children whose ninja parents died on missions. Most of them being clan kids, it was easy to find new living situations for them with other clan members and then do check ins. A lot of clans already had procedures put in place for this, too. Then, one day, she got her newest cases with a muttered good luck. Mebuki looked them over, Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki. The only survivor of the recently massacred Uchiha clan and the vessel for the nine tailed fox.

Oh dear god, what the hell?! The mom in Mebuki was ready to fist fight someone. What moron deemed it okay to let two little boys who are obviously traumatized live on their own? Nope not on Mebuki's watch.

As the new case worker for each boy, Mebuki does have to go make house calls. She takes Sakura with her, so not only will Mebuki stay calm, with several little eyes watching her, but sometimes having another child there will relax the other, and having them play together gives Mebuki more insight.

"Sakura, be nice to these boys," Mebuki tells her daughter. "Life has not been kind to them, so we must."

The little girl nodded as she followed her mother to the first apartment.

Mebuki almost fainted at the state of the apartment she entered. Does no help this boy clean? Or at least show him how?!

"Are you my new social worker?" Naruto asked, recognizing the symbol on the file in Mebuki's hands.

Mebuki nodded, getting down on the boy's eye level while she talked to him. "Yes, I'm Mebuki Haruno, and this is my daughter Sakura. May we come in?"

The boy was on edge which Mebuki didn't blame him for he has gone through almost as many social workers as he had years on this earth. But after a gentle nudge to her daughter Sakura got him to relax a little. The way he bombarded her daughter proved Meuki's suspicions true, the boy was starved for attention. It was partly why Mebuki brought her along, and her daughter's empathy was sometimes needed to help gaining other children's trust.

Sakura spending time with Naruto also gave Mebuki an insight that this boy was indeed left to fend for himself. Well, she'll have to change that. One of these days later this week, she'll have to come back with Sakura to start teaching Naruto basic life skills. She'll be damned if this boy is only surviving off ramen.

The next stop was Sasuke Uchiha's apartment. This one Mebuki was more hesitant on bringing Sakura to. Trauma and the reaction to it is unpredictable, especially in ones so young. Mental health is also often ignored among shinobi and ninja clans. Mebuki highly doubts Sasuke has received anything in healing besides his physical body.

Unsurprisingly, the boy is angry and demands they go away. Unfortunately, Mebuki is just as if not more stubborn. She's a former shinobi. Does he really think a locked door is gonna stop her?

She makes a deal with Sasuke, if she can get in then he'll work with her since he'll be seeing a lot of her in the next few years. Sasuke snorts but takes the deal thinking she won't get in, after all this women is just a civilian.

30 seconds later, Mebuki Haruno is standing inside his doorway file ready in hand.

Mebuki is right that this visit was completely different from the one she had with Naruto. Sasuke kept his focus on her with maybe one or two glances at her daughter after introductions. Sasuke seemed more interested in getting them out as soon as possible and isolating himself. Well, that won't do either. Mebuki makes a mental note to make frequent visits to Sasuke's place. According to his file, the last social worker didn't even try to help this boy with his isolation issues. Guess Mebuki will have to go the exposure therapy route. Even if it's in small bursts with her or with her and Sakura, the boy needs some sort of human interaction.

Maybe she can get him and Naruto to hang out one day? Though they may need Sakura there to buffer out the two as a middle man.

So Mebuki got to work. The Academy was currently on a break for two weeks, and Kizashi was currently away on business, so all of her visits she did have to bring Sakura. Naruto liked having her around. Sasuke seemed to tolerate it. Naruto eagerly took to learning from her, whether it's because he was learning with Sakura or Mebuki actually took the time to patiently explain things to him, she wasn't sure. She still had to break into Sasuke's apartment every time, but she actually got that boy to go out into the world even if it was just errands. And he's acknowledgumg Sakura more on the visits even sorta speaking to her. So that's a win in her book.

It was during this time that Mebuki learned the boys were actually in the same class as Sakura in the academy. She knew they all went to the academy but not the same class. This info from Sakura and the information on how they're treated helps Mebuki adjust on what she needs to do with the boys.

"Mama, Naruto, and Sasuke are lonely," Sakura stated to her after one of the visits.

Mebuki nodded. Her daughter was sharp minded. It did not surprise Mebuki Sakura picked up on the boys' loneliness.

"I want to help them."

"Continue being kind to them Sakura," Mebuki instructed. "They both need it, and maybe a friend."

When the academy started again, Mebuki wasn't surprised to hear the kids didn't interact much. The classroom and children themselves have their own social rules they tend to follow. Sakura was also friends with Ino Yamanaka, one of the most popular girls in class. So by proxy, Sakura was in the middle of the social circle, too. Sasuke wouldn't dare get close to it, and Naruto wouldn't have the chance.

What did give Mebuki some surprises was her first time checking in on the boys without Sakura. Kizashi had recently returned home and was gone again with Sakura on a daddy daughter weekend trip. Naruto, being disappointed that his new friend was away, didn't surprise Mebuki much. But it did hurt to think he thought it was because Mebuki or Kizashi didn't want her around him. Surprisingly the boy let Mebuki comfort him saying no they weren't forbidding it, this was just a planned trip before Naruto became Sakura's friend.

"Where's Sakura?"

Sasuke's question would have thrown Mebuki off had it not been for her ninja background. But she had seen the boy slowly warming up to her daughter.

"She's with her father right now."

"Hn."

This gives Mebuki an idea. On Friday afternoon, while children were in school, Mebuki had placed a sealing jutsu on the boys' apartments, one that locks them out. She also left a note saying they are to come over for dinner. After she sends Sakura to go get Naruto while she goes get Sasuke, and Kizashi starts on dinner.

Sasuke was glaring at her when she got to his apartment. "How did you do this?"

Mebuki smiled, with that pout he was trying to hide Sasuke almost looked his age. "Just because I retired being a ninja doesn't mean I still don't know how to use jutsu Sasuke. Now come on we have some things to pick up before dinner."

And that's how Friday dinners started, leading to weekend sleepovers after Mebuki and Kizashi insist that it was too late for the boys to be wondering in the dark. Kizashi's jokester nature warmed Naruto up to him fast and she swore she saw Sasuke smirk once or twice at one Kizashi's awful jokes. After a while Mebuki could stop putting the sealing jutsu on the apartments when the boys just started following Sakura home on Fridays but she kinda wants to see who figures out how to break the jutsu first.

They still don't interact unless they have to in the academy but Mebuki is starting to suspect that's more on the boys wanting this friendship to be private. Sasuke is naturally a private person and Mebuki suspects that Naruto is afraid of the public either turning one of his friends away from him or that they'll be ostracized like he was.

Mebuki knows this is technically crossing some professional boundaries but honestly she does not give a damn. And technically they're over at her house as Sakura's friends. Good luck trying to deny these boys one of their only two friends.

Mebuki can do without the pranks though. Naruto may be the only one the village blames for them but she knows better. That is not Naruto's handwriting and Naruto was never that detailed before.

It was around the time of graduation that Mebuki was starting to become a little worried. She was excited for the kids don't get her wrong but the politics of the whole thing was a pain in the ass. Newly graduated genin in Konoha were pretty much considered emancipated minors. Genin who were wards of the state like Naruto and Sasuke would be aged out of their social workers care. They would then be put on teams based on skillset. Mebuki was worried how well that was gonna work out for the children. The only ones she can see them working well with is one another but likely hood of all of them ending up on the same team was not very high.

Well she might as well start preparing. She'll have three jonin showing up soon. One to talk to the parent of Sakura and two to talk to her as the social worker to Naruto and Sasuke.

Mebuki couldn't help the laugh when she learned that all three meetings would be with Kakashi Hatake. Oh is he gonna have his hands full, she hopes her little brats gives him hell.

I'm imagining after the war team 7 stumbles into the Haruno's house at some point because Mebuki put that same damn sealing jutsu on all of their apartments. Mebuki starts chastising Sasuke like "Where. Have. You. Been?!" like he's a teenager who missed curfew and not a wanted missing ninja for the last three years. Later on when Sasuke and Sakura start traveling together Mebuki and Kizashi have a bet on how many grandchildren they'll have by the time they return and what the genders will be.

[oxygenbefore1775]

stalemate

zeke x gn!reader

tags: fluffy suggestive stuff (as fluffy as it can get with zeke)

cw: suggestive (kisses and stuff), chess and a lot of it (there's gonna be some chess terms thrown around just for the show - no need to understand them to know what's going on), zeke being zeke (needy pos that is), coercion elements (very mild)

wc: 2.2k

summary: perhaps challenging zeke to a game of chess was a bad idea - so chivalrous of him to offer you his help to defeat him, though

a/n: don't perceive me, i barely understand the chess theory myself

Stalemate is a situation in chess where a player's king is not in check, but they have no legal moves left, resulting in a draw

Such a poise coming from someone whose lips were twisted in a shit-eating grin. Both annoyed you to no end already, slowly chipping away at your composed facade — but the combination of those two? You could already sense the steam escaping your ears. Truly, both of those opposites could only coincide in Zeke.

"Any moment now," his calm voice prompted you to make a move, although you had stalled for only ten minutes longer than expected.

It was ten minutes too long — considering your own knowledge in chess, you shouldn't find this so hard to navigate through this game. But you did. You bit on your lip as you stole a glance at Zeke before finally moving your bishop across the board. The challenge of the game was all courtesy of his.

All pleasure that you intended to find in this leisure game of chess with Zeke was nowhere to be seen now. Some mental exercise was always welcome but not at the expense of your own brain cells that ended up being fried in the unfolding mental gymnastics. Too bad it was only you who was laboring over each move.

He was a monster at chess. And just like one, he was tearing you to shreds.

Your lips curled into a malicious smirk, catching up on his hesitation.

But not this time.

Zeke quirked his brow at your choice of the move.

Finally, you got him in a predicament that he'd be forced to ponder over to search for the best solution. Spolier - there was none since the strategy you devised in such a short span of time was impeccable. He would have no other choice but to back down his attack and ultimately weaken his control of the board center. You couldn't help but to give yourself a mental pat on the shoulder as you imagined him losing more and more advantage in the game. Your careful planning would leave him totally crushed, utterly defeated, absolutely destroyed, unequivocally--

Zeke took your queen.

You had to lend a second look at the chess board to finally register that the queen, your queen, was indeed removed from the game by one of his rooks and lied by Zeke's side.

How could this have happened? Virtually nothing could predict this move happening in your mind. All the defenses that you've put up ended up being ultimately useless since Zeke easily slid one of his figures behind your line of defense. Good thing that you were thoughtful enough to do the castling earlier or else the king would also be endangered right now.

A glint of mild interest ignited in Zeke's eyes upon seeing you so distraught about the move that he spent maybe a minute contemplating. It just started to get fun for him.

"I hope that was intentional." The soft mockery in his tone puzzled you as your brows knitted together in confusion, prompting his explanation. "You letting me take your queen so easily? It better be the first step to the closing game or else it'd be pretty disappointing."

The tiny vein on your temple started pulsating with anger as you composed yourself.

"Just-- shut up."

Of course, you had no aces up your sleeves that would tip this miserable predicament into your favour. A fact he was well aware of.

Good thing he listened and indeed stopped riling you up even further. Another word out of his mouth and you would've skipped over the entire anger phase right over to tears.

It was your turn again. After being cornered up with his previous attack, you were all out of moves, let alone useful ones. In a desparate attempt to bring him back into the game as soon as possible, you opted for taking at least a bit of advantage back to your side.

Your hand already hovered over one of your pawns, ready to grab it, when you noticed Zeke's unbroken gaze on you. His pursed lips were a subtle sign of his disapproval, the silent one which was by far the worst one.

Frustrated, you threw your hands in front of yourself. "What?"

This in turn perplexed him. Dumbfounded by your sudden (and quite rude for his taste) inquiry, he looked at you in confusion, benevolence coloring his features in a halo-like light.

"Why-- why are you staring at me like that?" you had the courtesy to elaborate although your voice was bubbling with irritation.

"You were the one to tell me to shut up," unabashed he replied. "Can't I express my critique in some other way then?"

You were determined to prove all his attempts at annoying you futile. As if he wasn't already getting off of the fact that you were losing to him, flaunting his chess skills in the process.

"Alright." you asked calmly as you caved to give him the response he wanted. "What is your critique?"

With your permission granted (not that he cared for it that much), he took a second look at the chess board. This brief moment of scanning was of no use to him, admittedly - he knew what was wrong way before that.

"A pawn to b4? Quite unproductive, if you ask me."

"You just had to point that out." Completely devoid of witty remarks, you simply crossed your arms on your chest in meek retalliation. You pressed your lips tightly when they began to tremble.

For the first time during the game, his voice aquired a slightest hint of seriousness. As if a sudden bout of compassion had befallen him.

"Do you want to win that badly?" he tried to meet your gaze as he asked this question to gauge your honest reaction.

Who doesn't want to outsmart the Zeke Yeager? It'd be akin to David and Goliath situation, safe for the physical altercation followed by the lethal outcome. And this would certainly humble Zeke a bit, as he was known to get on your nerves, brandishing his intellectual exclusivity.

To your luck (or rather not), you were the only one vain enough to try and pull it off.

"Of course," you huffed under your breath. "But seeing as you bash me at every turn, there's no way."

This begrudgingly uttered confession returned the sly expression to Zeke's features — the one he's had for the duration of the game. The one that made you distrust his last question even more.

"Maybe I can help you to win this stupid little game," he began in an alluring tone, stroking his beard as if pondering his countless options of aiding you.

You, however, were not in the slightest bit amused nor intrigued.

"Really? Just like that?" your voice dripped with sarcasm, an eager response propmting him to finally reveal his real intentions.

There was no way for him change his mind all of the sudden. Zeke was never the one to go easy on you in all sorts of games - especially now as his imminent victory drew closer and he seemed to get a high at the expense of your frustration. What could possibly convince him to take pity on you now?

Turned out, you were not wrong in your suspicion.

"Of course not," his answer, as expected, didn't surprise you. "My assistance has a price."

You wanted to drop all of your defences and start giggling at the sight of his features dripping with triumph. His over-confident demeanor seemed almost childish sometimes.

"A price," you mocked, an amused smile tugged at your corners. He responded in kind, as if you both were in on the joke that was about to take place. "Ok, name it then."

if he's the one suggesting it, you'll go along with it. How bad can it be? Not that washing the dishes for the next week or taking charge of cooking would be all that burdensome - not that he does those chores regularly anyway.

Instead of responding verbally, Zeke gently tapped his finger against his cheek, as if directing your attention to the spot. Throughout the exchange, he held an unbroken eye contact with you, to see if you were watching him. But it was unnecessary. His gesture was all too familiar to you.

"You dick," you accused him, clearly unamused now. "No, no way."

He smiled at the way you violently shook your head no, turning away from the chess table in a plain refusal.

"C'mon, just a liiittle kiss," he reasoned (more like whined, really), "Not like you've never done this before."

As competitive as you were, this was something you couldn't bring yourself to do.

You wagged your finger at him, reinforcing the fact of your disapproval. "Not in this climate," you rebuked. "It's extortion."

"It's barter and quite fair one at that." Zeke remained relentless in his persuasion attempts, like he wasn't the one with the higher ground. "A kiss for a hint. And, if you uphold your part of the bargain, you'll be able to win."

The gall to assume that you'd agree to trade your affection in exchange for useful information even just once, not to mention multiple times all for the sake of a tainted victory. Did he really deem you this weak-willed? You'd give him no such satisfaction.

"Thanks but no thanks," you cut him off bluntly, directing all of your attention back to the chess board. "When I beat you in the game, I'd rather it be a clean victory."

When - it's if, rather but you couldn't afford to give up so easily.

Your refusal did nothing to upset him, though. As if nothing had happened, he returned his attention to the game, too.

"Your loss," he stated, pressing his lips to hide a grin as he made a move that he spent mere seconds thinking over but managed to tip the scale in his favor. "I win either way."

And you thought he had been merciless before that. Well, he was now. It is only after your refusal that he shed all the self-restraint and went into full obliteration mode. At this point it wasn't about winning for him anymore rather than stripping you off your valuable figures, completely ignoring openings for potential checkmates.

Much to your dismay — yet to his triumph — this tactic of his seemed to have worked as your despair grew from one loss of a piece to other, removing all logic from your play style. The already miniscule chance of deafeating him thawed with each of his devastating moves. It seemed as if he wouldn't stop until you had only the king left at your side.

You caved once you lost most of your pawns and each one of the paired pieces. Turned out, you were mistaken about your own moral compass and intellectual capabilities. Maybe the end does justify the means.

"Alright, fine," you exclaimed, getting increasingly exasperated. "Let it be your way."

Ready to abandon your dignity (not that there was much to begin with), you plopped your hands at the either side of the board to reach over to the opposite side of the table where Zeke was.

"But I'm gonna win, right?" You had to make sure before sealing the agreement with a kiss.

"Well, not anymore."

You suddenly stopped leaning forward, mere inches away from his face.

The glare you sent his way must've shot the sharpest and biggest of daggers since Zeke rushed to deliver an explanation at the sight of you. "You would have, if you had agreed sooner," almost analitical tone of his voice failed to soothe your frustration. "The best you can settle for now is stalemate."

A draw it is. Quite a good result, admittedly, especially from the game of chess with the Zeke Yeager. And you had only yourself to blame for stalling so much. You took a deep breath to compose yourself. Although the impulse was strong, Zeke did his best not to flaunt his favourable position over you. Even so much as a hint of non-verbal 'i told you' from his side and he would most certainly fall from your grace.

"Why do I love you again?" you whispered under your breath as you were about to press your lips against his cheek. You crinkled your nose as the stubble tickled your skin.

"I ask myself this time to time, too." he replied, sham embarassment dripping in his tone as he melted under the touch of your lips.

Suffice to say, you weren't capable of harboring anger for a long time, let alone towards Zeke. Who was he but an insufferable yet starved for affection man in your eyes?

At the tenth kiss mark it just got ridiculous, to the point when you couldn't suppress your laughter as you leaned over the table, risking to knock over the pieces on the board, time and time again for the exchange to take place. Your dignity right now was of little importance - Zeke would never stop reminding you of this day but you couldn't care less as long as you got that coveted result (even if it was achieved through less than fair means).

Your lips hurt by the time the stalemate was announced - something you weren't aware they could do.

All out of breath, you leaned back against your chair, taking in the piece configuration on the board that finally put the end of this back-and-forth 'barter'.

"I'm never playing chess with you ever again," you firmly stated, watching him rise up from the seat.

"What a pity," his voice failed to convey the sincerity to his statement as he began putting the pieces back into the board - not that he cared for the way you'd perceive him anyway. "Gotta think of other ways to lure the kisses out of you now."

"You could always ask for one, don't you know?"

"I know," he assured, "But it's more rewarding this way."

[asherlockstudy]

So, the journey was more about them (not the chicken). 👀

Of course.

I am gonna analyze the video here and... well... I have reasons that make me feel and think strongly about it and this may be evident in this post. Sometimes I might get a little judgy, a little confrontational... just fyi.

I have this feeling now, I feel vindicated, not so much about this video being obviously once more about their journey towards coming out but instead because I am vindicated in that they WANT people to pick up on their hints and some "brightbrains" who say "don't assume blah blah blah" are actually working AGAINST what Rhett and Link are trying to achieve right now. They are making their job HARDER. I will talk about it in a minute. Let's analyze this.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD

So they get to pick from four chickens in specific, they intentionally asked for four. My assumption is them and the wives, because obviously here we do not have just the issue of the sexuality, we also have the issue of what happens next with the marriages. It's not just a sexuality coming out, it's likely a coming out from two marriages, very well established situations, which makes it much harder overall under the public spotlights. (If someone gets hives at the implication that they will not come out together just because they get hard when they watch a Kevin Costner movie next to their beloved wives, well, it's not my problem. Perhaps stop reading at this point. What is going on is not just a label issue.)

The chicken was used as an allegory of a scared, even cowardly individual. Rhett says the initial idea was to give them names based on personalities (which strengthens the argument they were symbolizing four particular individuals) but kinda gave up on it and they named them Chloe, Lucy, Birdie and Drumstick. Chloe - short for Cloaca - is Link, she's the most eager one, Link has his mentality changed by the egg song, he is the chicken in the egg, he gives that speech for the choice of Chloe, and then of course he is the one who helps Chloe "cross" the road. Cloaca Chloe is Link.

Drumstick is the only one whose name could be perceived as derogatory (makes me suspect the name was indeed pre-selected) and Drumstick stubbornly remains last. Rhett very consciously says that apparently "Drumstick is the slowest one to pick up on what's going on". That's obviously either Jessie or Christy but I am a little confused as to who it really is because I would think the one, let's say, more innocent to start suspecting things would be Jessie but the one intentionally more unwilling to follow through with this plan would be Christy. Unless something has changed lately, I don't know. Maybe I am wrong about the "innocence" part though. I just think Christy is way more suspicious but on the other hand Jessie is very socially skilled and emotionally intelligent. So even though Christy could have been always more suspicious of Rhett and Link's relationship, in the end it may have been Jessie that picked up on the things that were really happening.

I wonder whether the shot of Drumstick hidden in the plants was a conscious choice...

Anyway, next. Eggs here is a symbolism for sex. Link confesses to Rhett he's not big on them and Rhett informs him there are so many ways to try eggs until you find the way you enjoy them. (What if this is how it all started?) But it actually has a double meaning. This is not the first time Rhett has implied Link is too vanilla and too hesitant to try new things. In GMM many times, like once he laughed "We are the most vanilla men in the world" and you can rest assured he doesn't consider himself responsible for it. Back to the video's context, this is an epiphany for Link - this realisation. He is pictured inside the egg, expressing his confusion and despair. The sequence of the song does not end happily. The egg does not crack yet and Link says how he is so confused he is on the verge of dying.

An easter egg (hehehe) is how many egg dishes Rhett is shown enjoying throughout the video. We know it, he loves sex A LOT and he loves it in as many ways as possible.

The roads where they are training the chicken are not coming out attempts, but technically the "coming out with each other". In the very first road, the chicken is very hesitant and uneager to walk. Eventually, Rhett loses patience, grabs the chicken and rushes it across the busy road, to Link's bafflement. They later both agree that this is not the way to do it, because the chicken did not enjoy the crossing. It was all too rushed and haphazard. This is perfectly aligned with what I have described before in at least two posts such as They dug a hole and PUZZLE: The recurrent Rhink storyline is not even new!!!!!!! If you know, you know. If you don't and are positively interested so far, I really think you should read them. AND I REALLY have to remind to everyone that the PUZZLE VIDEO IS FROM 2015!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS FORGET THAT, YOU VERY FEW FOLKS WHO KINDA BELIEVE ME BUT NOT QUITE. Sorry for the screaming. it's just... it's hugely important if you want to put things into perspective.

Want more argument line after line?

Rhett: Come on, Chloe. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Get it. Get it. Get it. Come on, come on, Chloe. We're running out of time Chloe! (grabs the chicken) Link: 10 seconds- what? What are you doing?! (fast road crossing) Four, three, two, one. Rhett: Ah. Ahhh, God... I'm sorry, I panicked.... (apologetically to Link) I was just going on instict. The numbers were getting low*, single digits... Link: You are a results oriented person. Rhett: Right, I mean, she got to the other side! Link: Yeah... but it did not feel... great. Let's go back to the question. Why did the chicken cross the road? What if it wasn't to get to the other side? What if it was to have a glorious crossing experience?

Now compare this to the digging and the Puzzle videos or the paragraph with the bike pedalling in TLCOBC. They are all the same exact thing, the same incident. Digging is crossing, up to this point at least. *Rhett saying digits getting low, AKA falling, compare this with the missing head puzzle piece situation in the Puzzle and the hardship of pushing the shovel in the hard ground in We dug a medium sized hole. Like I have described, Rhett was having some physical limitations the first times and Link's ground was too tightly hard. (Link has numerous times also blessed us with the information that he has a very tight asshole. Sorry. He has chosen to say this.) Plus, Link makes an argument that... for the chicken it was not about getting to the other side, like, getting this done for some reason or ticking something off a list or just because it was a way to confirm something about the chicken's identity etc, but instead he wanted this to be a glorious experience. For him and, I dare say, for the other one who was involved. So this crossing was supposed to be ultimately founded on sincere emotional reasons, according to Link.

Anyway since Link, I mean, Chloe did not enjoy that very first rushed, rapid road crossing, they decide to try again in conditions more suitable for him her. They go to a small neighborhood road, where everything is just more peaceful and intimate and slow paced. And they are just the two of them.

Uhhhh except Jason Segel shows up with his own chicken and advices them that a chicken can't be forced into it but has to take the lead. "Incidentally", Segel's chicken is Paul Rudd and Rhett and Link emphasize on the fact that Paul Rudd is his friend and co-star. Segel and Rudd have played in a few movies together but undoubtedly the reference here is this one:

Now, the movie is exclusively a bromantic comedy, however it has some themes such as that the one's fiancé feels like a third wheel and initially the friend causes strain to the couple's relationship. Also, Rudd, the shorter more brunette half of the duo is the chicken in the stroller and Segel is his tall guide who "walks him out". Just in case you needed more proof Chloe was actually Link that Rhett walks out in various modes of frenzy or calm intimacy. Ahem.

The scene changes abruptly after Segel's advice. We do not see how the second attempt unfolded once they left it to Chloe to take the initiative while crossing the road. I don't remember in which post it was (could be in the linked ones) but I wondered once why they always talk or are inspired by the first, very unfortunate time and never the second or, say, the first mutually enjoyable time. I had reasoned they probably keep this off limits, just for them. I respect this fully, although the cave-girl in my brain dies to know what an inspired metaphor from that experience would look like!

The chicken couldn't realistically cross this highway. So they had to come up with a plan - a van with a build in simulation of crossing the road. I believe this could be an allegory for the fact that the official crossing will happen through an isolated, monitored, secure environment - that of a studio. I mean, aside from the fact that it was a necessary measure for the chicken in this case. We see again Rhett doing weird-ass maths with a hint of delirium in his eye - this is consistent with his overthinking anxiety while trying to take a nap and with his overpreparing for the night in the ghost-free house and for the quest for the brown diamond. It shows how Rhett, who struggles more with the actual crossing, has assumed a position of supposedly curating the crossing experience and overfixating about it, instead of doing it.

True enough, they go on a little competition about who gets to drive the car (plan the whole thing) and who is with the chicken (comes out). Unsurprisingly, Rhett convinces Link he is the one who has to be with the chicken.

A VERY interesting moment to me was the commentary about the animal monitor from the American Humane Society. Given how much of a serious deal this is, I can't be sceptical about whether this man was indeed the animal monitor or just acting like one. However, I am having so many thoughts about how Rhett and Link decided to make use of his (non)involvement. Usually, you don't make monitors and everyone else checking what you do a part of your final project. Usually, they are edited out or somewhere in a corner since their job is not to be part of your movie but instead to ensure all your practices remain lawful, harmless and sensible. The fact that he sits next to Rhett and is depicted multiple times, always taking notes (writing comments?), albeit blurred, makes me suspect Rhett and Link (certain they wouldn't mistreat the chicken), asked him to have a tiny part in the video. They also stressed he was checking on Chloe through a monitor showing him everything, like an audience. But why make a deal out of it? They make a big deal out of his UN-responsiveness, which is a little strange, since it is not his job to be responsive but rather to be as discreet as possible. And yet, here we are, Rhett and Link have something to say about it.

Would anybody make an educated guess whether the animal monitor is used here for another metaphor? The animal monitor is the fanbase. The unresponsive, stone-faced fanbase. They did explain recently they are not getting the reaction they wished for from the fans regarding the videos. And just so you do not get confused, they did clarify they are seeing and are thankful for the positive reception from the viewers. Still, they said, it is not what they were looking for! It's not a "bravo" they are after, they are after getting their message across, they are after seeing some understanding or realisation from the fans, who insist on not understanding or not wanting to understand. That's what I have been saying for months at this point. They want you to understand and acknowledge and expect this BEFORE they speak openly about it. I am not being evil or incosiderate or delusional for discussing this here openly as a few very clever individuals have insinuated - THEY WANT THIS TO START BEING DISCUSSED. They want to minimize the shock impact this will have if they do it on their own suddenly one Monday morning on GMM. And there's MORE proof of that later.

The highway goes in two directions of five lanes each and then there is also the median. They do the first five lanes with Link holding the chicken to walk on the treadmill. Then they reach the median, what they call liminal space. They stress this a lot so I think there is significance to it. They employed Hank Green to explain this better;

Liminal space is the concept of having left one state of being, but not yet having arrived at your next stage.

And because it is stressed, I think it signifies Rhett and Link's current stage: they are in liminal space, which means they have given up on their past selves but are not still quite where they are determined to be. Quite possibly it also means Link (and perhaps Rhett) has already done half the work; in his private relationships, with family and friends. And he is now in liminal space because he is hovering between his previous life and the future one where he can't get yet as long as he is a public persona who is still obligated to cross the next half of the road; the world.

Once they reach the median Rhett helps Link turn around the equipment, in order to give Chloe the illusion she is crossing the opposite direction lanes.

Rhett: I am not doing a lot. Link: I know you are not doing a lot! Rhett: I'm trying to remain in liminal space.

If you have doubts, consider please, what is the point for Rhett saying this in the context of the chicken's crossing? Does he want to keep the car forever in the median? Does he want to stay in the median while Link and the chicken leave him with the car? Does he want to stop the project? What does it mean? Nothing. It means nothing in the text plot of the video, but it means EVERYTHING for all the things we've been saying all this year and is the reason for the occasional apparent strain between Rhett and Link. Rhett does not want to leave liminal space as much as Link. Or, rather, he wants to but he is too scared of the consequences, especially when it comes to the reaction of his father and their fanbase, which could affect their career. Rhett here confirms indeed that he'd rather keep what's happening between them a secret or only known to their closest people (the ones it affects) but Link can't suffer it anymore. Rhett complies with it for Link's sake, both out of necesity and perhaps also out of love.

They also make a huge deal out of passing the bridge to reach the other lanes and of course they are much more excited about the second half. That's what happens now. We are at that stage of crossing the second half but unlike in the video we have not reached the EXIT (out). I wonder whether there is significance in that Link opts to keep the chicken in the stroller for the second half. My assumption is that in the first half (coming out to the loved ones) it was a process that took a lot of time like with the baby steps of the chicken, with a lot of pauses in the beginning. But once they decided to leave the liminal space behind, now the developments will be much faster and consequential. Now the chicken will be running on wheels.

Meanwhile, as the job's done and Rhett and Link are cheering for their success, the animal monitor is still taking notes in pure apathy. This alone makes it very likely something's up in his case. He almost certainly stands in for the commentators of their channels, who write, write, write irrelevant stuff while so many things happen under their nose.

The video ends with another cry from Rhett and Link that people will understand it's all about them and it's not just silly meaningless content.

Yes, the journey Link has been talking about the entire year.

Y'all, this is a cry at this point. If it was just cryptic work inspired by their private lives, which however they would want to keep entirely secret, they wouldn't make such pleas to be understood. They want people to start considering it, thinking it, discussing it. They want to prepare the fans' brains before the news falls on them in the likes of a huge asteroid. Still not sure about it?

Like I said, Rhett and Link have freaked out by their failure to communicate their message. So, this time Rhett wanted to check on the situation himself, in real time. They released the video in a later time, when more people could watch and Rhett did something he almost never has done before. He was liking and replying to comments personally. He did like a lot of the positive comments... perhaps he sighed in these ones

but there were SO many which were like this one

This person got nothing from that video and the last scene and everything they have said about their scripted videos and I can sense Rhett's disbelief and sarcasm from here. Also, notice how he did not heart that comment lol

Anyway from a quick scroll through the comments, I believe there are a few which could give them a little faith but ultimately the results were still underwhelming.

Last but not least, Rhett wasn't the only one reading the comments in real time with no chill left. Link found a different way to drive the point home:

Doodling hearts over the video, above their heads, on Rhett and on the first comment, which indeed was ambiguous.

(shoutout to @mpay22 for the screenshots)

They have no chill anymore but who's to blame them... Even I have no chill anymore with all the stuff I see regarding that situation and the whole thing does not concern me one bit.............. let alone them, whose entire future and happiness depend on it.

Thanks for reading my long - occasionally intense - answer / post.

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

hi it's mermay and i'm thinking about sirens. i'm gunna do some looking of my own (at seadragons, probably) but can you think of any fish that look like their tails/features would make a cool mermaid?

Hello! I've actually answered a similar question before, here is my answer to that one:

But since your question is a little different, I'll feature some unique fish species you could find inspiration from!

The rockmover wrasse! Here is an adult, the juvenile is a little wilder:

Crazy patterns! Should go to good use :)

Eels! Just any type of eel, really. They come in such varied shapes and sizes, and have various abilities too! If you're the type of person who likes to give merpeople the features of the fish they're based on, just imagine a moray eel merperson with two jaws! Or a ribbon eel merson whose tail sways like a ribbon while swimming. I'd suggest looking into eels!

Electric eels too! Despite the name, they aren't actually eels at all, so I'm mentioning their genus separately here. Long fish that sense things with electricity and can generate it, even being able to cause prey animals to stop or start swimming with careful shocks... need I say more?

Here's one that could have many ways to be interpreted as a merson. Stargazers! They're ambush predators that hide in the sand, only having their eyes and mouth showing. I'd like to see how those would be interpreted as merpeople.

Mudskippers! The semiaquatic fish that live most of their lives on land.

Another one that walks, frogfish! Many species not only have a lure, but also walk along the bottom of the seafloor. How's that for an interesting merson challenge?

I don't think I've ever seen a merson who looks like a billfish, as in like a swordfish, sailfish or a marlin. The particular fish here is a sailfish!

I don't see some reef fish often, either. How about a moorish idol?

Perhaps the similarly-shaped butterflyfish?

Oh hey, maybe mandarinfish! That's one colourful guy :)

Deep sea fish are always a treat, too. They look very otherworldly compared to the fish we see often in everyday life! My personal favourite is the barreleye, but any friend from the deep is a friend indeed. The stoplight loosejaw who has a private red flashlight, the cookiecutter shark who sneakily bites chunks off bigger animals, bristlemouths with their large jaws and tiny teeth... I recommend looking into fish that have photophores, aka light-producing organs! They're fish that glow in the dark!!! Extremely cool and mysterious...

Lanternfish are a good example of this, I think. They're thought to be the most abundant group of vertebrates, they're deep sea-living, they have photophores, they migrate vertically in humongous schools that literally look like false bottoms to sonar.

Deep sea anglerfish are a classic, old but gold. Seldom used in merfolk! I've tried tackling anglerfish merfolk myself before, I'll feature my concept sketches below for possible inspiration... though they contain artistic nudity, so I'll only feature them under the cut. Nothing major. Cartoon tits.

And there you have it! I got kinda carried away, I'm sure no one minds. Have a fun Mermay! I'm gonna draw some art for it myself, but in the meantime, have this fish ramble :)

Her first initial concept on the left and some additional ones on the right. Anglerfish of all kinds use lures to trick prey, so I wanted to mix the lure aspect with mermaids to create a siren that lures in sailors with her human half and eats them with her fish half. The human half has working eyes, vocal chords and lungs to first spot sailors, then call and sing to them, but besides that all the other organs are in the fish half. No doubt similar merple exist, but this was my take on it! It's a lot of fun to be creative, I recommend just going with the flow and doing what feels the most natural or coolest. You've got this!

[vole-mon-amour]

3x09, part 3.

The symbolism of Ted being the one who starts this and binding them all together. The symbolism of Beard following Ted, just the same way he followed him from USA to UK.

If they don't stop with this tension, I'm gonna beat Isaac's ass. These hands? How it should be. Colin is trying so much, baby boy.

Something something, Jamie struggling with namings and identities and maybe generally being dyslexic? Aside from still being the heart of the team, that sunshine. He's trying.

It makes me think of that "You thought I was the best?" moment. The moment on the bikes where Jamie thanks Roy for doing it for him or "for the team". He's often not sure & I feel that. There is soooo much to Jamie and his personality. I always look for him on the screen before anyone else. I love him.

Can we talk about how previously in the show it was established that Isaac, Colin, and Sam are best friends? And Colin was looking up to Jamie in s1? And in s3 it's obvious that Jamie and Sam are best friends, and Colin and Jamie are actually really good pals, too? I find it VERY curious that both Sam and Jamie get themselves in between Colin and Isaac & it's Jamie who tells Isaac to "Relax." Jamie is such a good boy & my heart is just so full of love for him. Sam is, too, obviously, it's just that my heart belongs to Jamie. :)

*screams* COLIN DESERVES BETTER. The team deserves better, but the tension is fucking REAL.

This is a mess & I'm very sad, but at the same time I'm glad to see that it's Roy who tries to resolve the situation. As an ex footballer that played with this team and now their coach. I can't fully explain it, it just gives me feelings.

!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE this moment. Roy's "Good lad" at Isaac & forcing the security to get that homophobic fan out. Speaking of. Queer Roy? Supportive Roy? Roy whose ex is bisexual and dated a woman and he won't fucking stand for homophobia?

Fast forward to this scene. Roy as the voice of reason, indeed.

Can we discuss that while Isaac is enraged after being called a bunch of faggots, the camera focuses on BOTH Colin and Jamie? Jamie looks at Colin then at Isaac. The boy knows (or at least feels). The boy is also bisexual himself.

My heart belongs to him completely. Emmy winner Phil Dunster when?

No but the drama of Trent always having a pin in his jacket pocket? And the camera focusing on him after the "other f-word" was clarified? Then on Colin?

They went with the poopeh again, huh?

Why does he often has such puppy eyes? I'm— Also, the injured knee. That's football for you.

Yeah, well. That's homophobia for you. As a person that lives in a country where homophobia is legalized by law and queer people are being targeted, I agree, that sucks. But as one person, you can only show your support through socials, I think.

[drpsps]

Random shit I said while watching different saw movies!!! Pt1

Spoiler Warning

Saw - “Adam isn’t THAT fine” (lying right through my teeth).

“Teehee Larry you naughty boy” (was extremely high).

“Y’all their actually gay” (chainshipping bitches)

“I just know if Adam survived he would NEVER stop fucking with Lawrence” (Annoying bf who?).

“My pookie John is so silly!” (Besties hear me out, sometimes the pookie is a crazy old man).

“I hate you Lawrence.” (During the whole “I gotta go get help” thing).

“Adam’s thoughts were “Why is that body throwing it back?” during the scene where John gets up.” (I am crazy).

Saw 2 - “Y’all fuck that kid.” (I’m a hater fr).

“His dad is a fucking dick and I hope he DIES!” (He indeed does not die).

“Amanda you’re so silly.” (She was being crazy).

“I hate everyone but Amanda and that dumb ass kid.” (It was that first scene where someone died).

“Okay okay just can everyone calm down.” (Literally any fight scene).

“Damn HE’S BALD AND TORTURING PEOPLE WITH HAIR!” (Gotta quote a good ole tiktok).

“Shit man’s is beating an old guy whose dying.” (I thought it was funny).

“I’M SO GLAD THE KID SURVIVED!” (Me before the reveal).

“Oh fuck that.” (Me after the reveal).

Saw 3 - “Amanda calm your tits.” (Teehee).

“John what the fuck.” (I think he said some dumb shit).

“Okay bitches calm down.” (Anytime Amanda was beefin with the doctor chick).

“Shitttttt!” (x20 because y’all wtf).

“I thought he was gonna change!” (Dude remained vengeful).

“Well everything is fucked now.” (Amanda montage).

“Girl shut up.” (The doctor chick said something super cunty).

“Yas queen!” (Amanda said something super cunty).

“NOOOO!” (any fucked scene).

“YASSSSS!” (Any good scene).

Saw 4 - “OMG IT’S MY POOKIE BEAR MARK!” (Mark appeared on screen).

“I wonder how they didn’t know it was Mark. The constant side eye was a dead giveaway.” (We were barely a few minutes in and he did it three times).

“My pookie wookie isn’t crazy.” (Mark hoffman is extremely crazy).

“His delulu became trululu.” (Mark casually killing).

“If John is dead, then why would Mark join now?” (Before reveal).

“OOOOOHHHH.” (After reveal).

“Mark definitely listens to slipknot.” (Casual observation and definitely not a projection).

“I would NOT survive a Hoffman trap.” (Bitch rigged everything).

“Oh pookie…” (Near the end of the movie).

“I’m glad Eric died..” (Randomly remembering he’s there).

Saw 5 - “IS STRAHM HERE YES HE IS!” (That’s my genuine reaction when he showed up).

“Perez get your dog on a leash.” (Strahm was being a little asshole).

“Meow.” (Anytime both Hoffman and Strahm are on screen).

“I wanna eat them up.” (Me at Hoffman, and Strahm).

“He’s delulu.” (Talking about Hoffman).

“He’s trululu.” (Talking about Strahm).

“He’s not that bad.” (Talking about Strahm).

“Sorry he sucks sometimes.” (Talking about Hoffman).

“Eat shit asshole, die in a trap.” (Hoffman at Strahm).

“Y’all I’m so cool.” (Me on liking all the apprentices).

“My pookie wookie is trying.” (Me about Hoffman).

“HE NEEDS LOVE!” (Me about Strahm).

“I HOPE YOU ALL DIE.” (Minus Strahm and Hoffman).

“I’m so sorry baby girl..” (Me anytime Strahm is on screen).

“He’s cringe but he’s free.” (Me at Strahm and Hoffman).

“Damn someones salty.” (Angry Hoffman scenes).

“Bro is down bad.” (Strahm investigated Hoffman).

“Y’all this shit is crazy.” (About the traps).

“I’m still mad at hoffman.” (About the trap he put Strahm in).

“Okay what the fuck!” (end of film during Strahms death scene).

I need to watch 6-9 and I’ll make a second post.

I love these films with all my heart and you can definitely tell that my faves are literally every jigsaw apprentice (Including Logan from the later films) and most of the male characters (I.E. Adam and Peter Strahm). I honestly think the first three movies tie in together better than the later movies (seeing as we keep this crazy shit going).

I hope y’all enjoyed reading this shit.

[theforsakenprince]

Two things I wanna know! (feel free to ignore obviously ^^ )

What are your top 5 favorite characters and why are they your favorite? Could be current favorites, favorites over the years that you still like, favorites in general, etc. Also any media

And/or gimme 1-5 of your ocs - whether they're your favorite, most recent, the one you've been having fun with recently, etc. Tell me some fun facts about them, and why you picked them!

Hope you're having a great day/night - and remember to stay hydrated!

ooooh boy top 5 characters is gonna be hard I have so many... I think I'm gonna keep it to destiny characters because it's what I'm thinking about currently and I don't wanna be here all day JDFHSJDF

Uldren sov. is anyone surprised by this. ever since I read the forsaken prince I've been obsessed. something about someone who's been doomed from the beginning get me... like was it all avoidable? yes. but at the same time it wasn't because none of the characters would've made any other decisions. I love him so much outside of the tragedy of his whole life too lol he's just. such a dumbass. guy whose first reaction to getting his throat cut is to run back home and yell "aliens!! I found aliens and one of them cut my throat!". He also just cares so so so much about his people, the birds he raises, the eliksni who remind him of himself, the children he tells stories to. He unequivocally did horrible things but that is absolutely part of my I love him. I'm gonna stop here or else I'll be here all day but if you ever ask me about him it's gonna start an unskippable cutscene LMAO

Crow! it feels like cheating putting him and Uldren on the same list since (arguably) they're the same guy... but also Crow isn't him because he woke up initially without any memories of Uldren's life but then later got them back... it's complicated. Point is I love him because of what he chose to do with that second chance. He actively wants to be better and right Uldren's wrongs, even if he would've been entirely in the right for not wanting anything to do with it. He's also a dumbass in the same way Uldren was. also so much more of a loser I love him <3

MARA!! I cannot mention Uldren being my favorite without mentioning Mara sov... girl who has so many things wrong with her but she's trying! genuinely proud of her improvement and growth. I also just absolutely love women who are terrible at expressing their emotions with everyone except one person they trust their entire being with <3 that being said I'm fistfighting her mom Osana for making her feel like she's responsible for her twin brother and also everyone that has ever looked up to her when she was 19. I love her Mara Sov haters dni

Eris Morn! I loved her from the beginning tbh, she is the character I picture when I think of "violent optimism". because she is nowhere near soft but goddammit things WILL get better if she has anything to say about it. She's so committed to making sure no one has to go through what she did and helping others through their own trauma and grief. Season of the Witch was SO good specifically because it had Eris using the tools of the enemy to best them. And then at the end rejects it, because she won't continue the cycle of hatred and violence that's been perpetuated for millennia. "this is the rejection of your sad legacy" indeed.

Osiris. tbh picking #5 was hard because there are SO many good characters and this spot honestly could've gone to anyone but man... Osiris just resonates. He is a man who cares about humanity so much he'd do anything to keep them alive. A man who broke time to save the man he loves and succeeded. His journey through grief after losing Sagira (his Ghost) in Lightfall hit so hard for me too. "I am afraid that if I open my hand, I will find it no longer hurts, that the thorn I have imagined there for so long is already gone." is.... such a good quote and has lived in my head ever since I've played it. He's rough around the edges and can be harsh but at the end of the day everything he does is because he cares so deeply.

Honorable mention goes to Jolyon but I cannot in good conscience put him on this list because he has nowhere near the same screentime and also I think I made up like half his characterization in my head.

and OCs... man I have been thinking about them a LOT lately. Working on writing more for them but in the meantime I do have a ton on my ao3

Apollo... my beloved, probably my oldest Destiny OC. He's a laidback, easygoing Hunter who can be reckless and say things without thinking but overall means well. He has so much love in his heart but his centuries alone during the dark ages and the Great Disaster have made him a little rough around the edges. I won't say too much about him since it is part of what I'm writing!

Coyote! basically my "what would happen if a child was a Guardian?" character and then I got attached lol. She's an upbeat, awkward kid who gets excited/stressed really easily like a dog, hence her name. Currently trying to find out more about her past life with the help of a certain conman (Drifter). Again, won't say too much because it's the plot of a fic I'm writing!

Thank you so much for asking btw, I'm always happy to talk about characters!!

[helianthus21]

for the Early Adoption/Always Brothers AU ✨ following @nalivaa's idea that Han-seo was introduced to the Jang household earlier in this one so a younger, even less patient Han-seok decided he was just Not Gonna deal with a whole stupid toddler so he dropped him of at an orphanage (where Vincenzo found him<3 (there's a lot of details that don't,,, make sense so just posting on tumblr for now)

When Han-seo was dropped off at the orphanage, Vincenzo had already been there for a while.

The weeks, months, years had bled away his hope that his mother would ever come back for him, and the realization had poured like molten lava around his heart and, hardening, turned it to stone. Since then, he had kept to himself, glaring away every well-meaning kid that approached him with doe-eyes, kept everyone at arm's length because he hated the world, he hated his mom, he hated himself.

Other kids came and went.

Kids with similar fates as Vincenzo’s. Kids without parents. Kids who were all alone in the world. Kids who were angry like him, empty like him, lonely and lost. 

But Vincenzo didn’t care about their fates. Because nobody cared about Vincenzo’s either. 

Because most of the kids here, Vincenzo found, were here because their parents had died, and not because their mom dropped them off somewhere only to never show up again.

Kids left and came. Some ran away. Some got adopted, by young couples, rich couples, middle-aged couples. Couples whose gazes drifted right over Vincenzo because Vincenzo wanted them to. His mom hadn’t wanted him, and so Vincenzo didn’t want anybody else either.

Mostly, Vincenzo never even learned the names of the new kids. They’d be gone soon anyway, and their stories were all the same. So when a young boy walked right into the orphanage one day, an even smaller boy tucked in his arms, Vincenzo didn’t even lift his head from the little figure of a bird he’d been carving from a chunk of wood while everybody else was out on a field trip.

“Stop crying,” said the boy. It’s possible he’d been saying more to the younger before that, but it was the sudden sharpness in his tone that made Vincenzo prick up his ears.

Turning his head slightly, he chanced a glance at the pair. The older of the two looked younger still than Vincenzo, and what was strange about him was that he was dressed very formally: instead of streetwear, he was wearing one of those little suits for kids that Vincenzo had worn only once, when his mom had made him attend the funeral of his grandfather. Back then, Vincenzo had found it very confining, the suit. He’d kept pulling at his sleeves and his collar, but this boy seemed to feel right at home in his clothes, confident even.

The other boy, the smaller boy, was indeed crying. Vincenzo must have simply blocked it out before.

“You’re just useless, you know? Stupid,” continued the boy in a voice that was in stark contrast to the words he spoke. The sharpness gone, it was like he was just stating a simple fact, like water is wet, the sky is blue. “Stop crying,” he said again. “Nobody wants you anyway. So this is the best for everyone, you see?”

Between the sobbing, the boy hiccuped, “H-hyung.”

The older boy, the brother, as Vincenzo assumed now, slammed his fist on the table, right next to where he had placed the younger. “Cut that out!” The venom was back in his voice. “I’m not your brother! We’re nothing, not even by half from now on. Got it? Bye forever.” 

Vincenzo looked around. None of the adults were in the room at that hour, just old man Don who was too drunk most of the time to notice what was going on in the world around him. 

There was no one there to witness how another little boy was abandoned at the very same orphanage. No one to witness his fate, the beginning of his story, except for Vincenzo. 

Vincenzo, who watched the older brother walk past him, out of the orphanage without a single glance back, looking much lighter now, like a burden had been lifted from him. 

And the little boy continued sobbing. 

Vincenzo abandoned his woodwork and stepped closer to the table. The other boy had pushed a chair to the table and climbed onto it to be able to place his brother there, but Vincenzo could reach it without any help. He had a round face, the boy, red from all the screaming, with puffed cheeks that made him almost look cute, and head full of dark hair, curling slightly behind his ears. He, too, was wearing a little suit, and Vincenzo wondered if they had indeed been at a funeral. Looking at the boy now, he couldn’t be much older than 2 years. Maybe less. 

"Nobody wants you, huh?" 

The moment he spoke up, the boy stopped crying. 

Not because all his tears were dried up, Vincenzo guessed, but rather because listening to Vincenzo seemed to take up all his attention. With big eyes, he tracked each and every movement Vincenzo made like it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

"No mother, no father? A bastardo of an older brother?" He shot a venomous look at the door through which the boy had disappeared, moments ago. When he turned back to the boy, though, he made sure to keep his face neutral. "Well, you’re in good company. Nobody wants me either.”

Tears welled up again in the boy’s eyes but he stayed silent and that was almost more tragic. And for the first time in a long time, Vincenzo felt something in his chest change shape. Like a crack running up a stone. But nothing can break stone, can it?

This boy, though.

This boy was like him, more so than any other kid that shared this fate, it seemed. This boy was wrong, like Vincenzo – no! This boy had something about him that made other people cast him out, discard him like yesterday’s trash. This boy, who was only beginning to learn how to speak or walk on his own two feet. No, it wasn’t his fault that people couldn’t accept him. 

So, before the thought had even reached his mind as anything more palpable than a mere idea, Vincenzo had already made a decision.

“Let's just take care of one another from now on, huh?" He stretched out his index finger and the little boy reached for it, little fist closing around it with surprising strength. Vincenzo smiled. The stretch of his cheeks felt foreign on his face. "I'll take care of you." He turned the word around in his mind before he said it, "Dongsaeng."

It felt right. 

The boy tilted his head at him. "T'seng?" 

"No. Not me." He tapped his palm against his own chest. "I'm Vincenzo."

"'Cenzo."

Vincenzo crinkled his nose at the messy pronunciation. The word must feel foreign on his tongue, too. "Actually, for you it would be hyung,” he decided instead. “Can you call me hyung?"

The boy laughed, and forgotten seemed all the tears he had spilled just a minute ago. "Hyung!"

His chest almost hurt from the debris behind his ribcage. "That's it!” he agreed. “There you go."

Vincenzo would remember that day, as clearly as when it happened, for the rest of his life.

Han-seo, though, would forget how exactly he came to be at the same orphanage, right when Vincenzo had needed him most. He would forget the older boy, no longer his brother but a stranger now, who abandoned him at the very doorstep where Vincenzo lost his mother. He was still too young, then, to remember. He would’ve forgotten that he and Vincenzo had ever been anything other than brothers, too, if not for the other kids and the adults at the orphanage reminding him that legally, biologically, they were not. 

It didn’t matter to them, anyway.

Not until a new couple entered the orphanage, and their gazes didn’t just drift over Vincenzo.