#Whoever my future wife is there will be some days where things get tough

[theexodvs]

Was it going to be an surprise that the guy who nipped my ankles about me moving warm fuzzies, "emotional fulfillment" and other DCOM-tier trash far away from the center of my relationship would also be the same person who's unwilling to commit to his own relationship by marrying his girlfriend?

[suikung]

Hello!

My request is:

Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha deflowering their new Concubine together. She is young, pretty and precious for the clan leader and his wife. Truly a status symbol.

It was such a high honor for your family. You came from the lower branches of the Uchiha clan with only two options to rise up. Marry into a higher branch family or become a concubine for them. Being the only daughter, your family prioritized training you for a future life as a concubine. Love was not a certain thing but a position in this job would be. Your life up until today, your 18th birthday, was spent how to take for a home. But most importantly how to care for the husband and wife that’d select you, in more ways than another.

You were now 18 which meant your training was over and soon you’d join a new family. To your fortune you were a high valued concubine, almost from birth you were trained for this and that made you highly desirable. One of the few concubines directly praised by an Uchiha elder. Meaning, whoever was fortunate enough to pay such a price would be directly receiving an honor from the elders.

It was now time for goodbyes, it was almost noon which meant your new family would arrive soon. It was a bit hard since they were your birth family but you had spent most of your time in training. Soon, there was a knock outside the door. Anticipation weighed heavy as your father opened the door only to see Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha on the other side. Appearing next to your father, you bowed. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you both. I’m looking forward to being with you”. A smile gracing both their faces. They were lucky, fighting tough and nail to get you and now here you are infront of them. Such a beauty would bring them great status and recognition within the clan.

Soon you were on the way with them. Arriving in a part of the Uchiha compound where higher branch officials lived. It was quite nerving, only having been here a handful of times it made you feel out of place. A hand coming to rest on your shoulder, Mikoto. “Don’t be nervous. This is your new life, your new home. You belong here now with us.” She was so tender, her face so loving and warm. You couldn’t help to smile back at her. Continuing forward as she lowered her hand down your back as they guided you home.

Once within their home, you were readily introduced to their two sons. Itachi and Sasuke Uchiha. The boys were sweet, Sasuke more shy than his older brother, but you just hoped the boys would get used to your presence soon. After introductions, the couple showed you to your room to get settled down. They didn’t expect you to do any household duties yet, first they had a special plan to initiate you into their family.

The sun was now setting, spending most your time with the boys. Supervising them on a trip to a nearby forest, it was quite nice Sasuke had asked you to play hide and seek with him. A knock at the door caught your attention, disrupting your remembrance of that evening. Slowly rising up, to greet who ever it was. Mikoto, and she held a plate of tea in her hands. Quickly you went to retreat it from her, bringing it to the chabudai in the center of your room. “Please if your request for tea arises ma’am let me know I can make it for you.” Bowing quickly for bringing it to you. She only swatted off your statement.

“You can call me Mikoto dear. I just wanted to come have some tea and get to know you better.” You both now sat opposite of each other, pouring her a cup. “My husband should be here soon, so please pour an extra cup.” And on cue the tatami of your room opened to reveal Fugaku. He set to the left of his wife. “Good evening, I see my wife has already joined you. She was quite excited when she knew you were to join us.” Mikoto laughed in embarrassment, “Oh don’t say that dear! But he’s right, we’ve had our eye on you since the day you received the elder’s praise.” It was now your turn to laugh in embarrassment.

The three of you continued to enjoy tea as they filled you in on how their household usually runs in a normal day. Slowly they had both gotten closer to you. Mikoto’s hand now resting on your shoulder as it did on the way here. “We want you to feel a part of this marriage. So we shall do as a married does on a wedding night.” Fugaku spoke up, his cup now empty as his eyes stared into yours looking for any sign of resistance. You simply nodded, this was not something you didn’t expect but instead prepared.

Mikoto worked steadily on undoing your obi sash, while Fugaku took your face into his hand. Slowly he began to kiss you, his tongue intruding into your mouth. You allowed him to explore the inside, until he pulled back. Your tongues now dancing around each other. Mikoto had successfully undone your obi, slowly she brought down the shoulder of your kimono. Starting with kissing your collar bones and making her way up to your neck. A soft moan left you as she suckled on your soft spot. The three of you stayed like this for a few more minutes until Fugaku and Mikoto switched positions. Fugaku now on your neck and Mikoto kissing you. Fugaku’s hands roamed further down your kimono, opening up the front. With this new access, he made his way down to your breasts. Arching your back at this new found pleasure from him, Mikoto took it as entrance into your mouth with her tongue. You both continued fighting with your tongues until she pulled away.

They both detached themselves from you, Fugaku offering his hand to bring you up, Mikoto from behind pulling off your kimono. You now stand naked infront of them, they were now able to take in now your full beauty. “Such a prize to this family, you’ll bring great honor”. Fugaku spoke almost as if he was admiring ancient art, now unclothing himself after you. From behind clothes ruffled signaling Mikoto was undressing as well.

You kneeled beneath him, grabbing his half hardened cock with one hand. Sliding your hand over his tip, earning a groan from above. Mikoto moving to kiss her husband. Your lips gradually replaced your hand on his tip, tongue settling on the underside of his cock. To start, you went slowly, hand pumping up and down stopping just below his head. Your mouth focused on his tip, swirling your tongue around, and hollowing out your cheeks to amplify his pleasure. His hand coming down to hold your head, offering a guiding push down his cock, and you obliged. Taking in as much as you could before gagging. Your pace quickened, his grip in your hair tightening you could tell he was close. Using his grip on your hair, he pulled back. “Not yet dear. Let’s save that for later.”

Waiting on their guidance on what to do next, Mikoto came down infront of you. Spreading her legs as she lied on her elbows to balance herself, quickly moving down to level with her pussy. Your breath grazing over her clit, kitten licking her. From behind Fugaku positioned your ass up to eat you out . You both started slowly, the vibrations of your moans from Fugaku rumbles through Mikoto, earning a sweet sound from her. Your mouth moves down to her entrance, poking it with your tongue, your index and middle working steadily at her clit. Her thighs begin to shake as you quicken your fingers to match Fugaku’s pace on your pussy. Quickly you switch the position of your finger and tongue, two fingers now inside of Mikoto and your tongue continuing on her clit. Together you both reach your orgasms, her thighs closing around your head.

It took a few moments for you all to catch a breath. But by the end, you had all moved to your futon and off the tatami mats. Fugaku motioned for you to lay down infront of him, Mikoto would take her spot to the right of you. “Relax, and open your legs for me.” He spoke. Slowly he lined himself up, as Mikoto lowered down to continue kissing you. It was a piercing pain, your hymen ripping open at his entrance. Whining into Mikoto’s lips was the only thing you could do, your legs instinctively closing around Fugaku from the pain. He stopped, allowing a moment for the pain to subdue. “Sh sh it’s okay” Mikoto caressing your head, “We’re gonna take care of you, just relax your body.” At her words, your legs opened again, releasing the hold they had around Fugaku.

Within a couple of minutes he had fully sheathed himself inside of you. Tears escaped your eyes from the new found pain, Mikoto wiping them away for you. He began to move, it almost felt as if a puzzle piece had been connected. It felt fulfilling to be able to give yourself to them untouched. His hips snapped quicker as Mikoto’s hands came down to play with your breast. Moans could now be heard coming from Fugaku and you. Your legs now wrapping around his waist, bringing him in closer to you. “Awe come on don’t forget about me my dear.” Mikoto whined, feeling left behind. To include her you brought her in for more kisses. Her assault on your mouth continuing with her tongue, feeling every moan and groan from you.

Fugaku’s orgasm from before steadily began resurfacing. He sped up, hands on your waist. Your cries only became louder, Mikoto had left your lips, focusing solely on your nipples. Pleasure from different points only brought out a knot in your stomach, and for the second time tonight you’d cum. His hips bucked faster, then they faulted. His white seed spilling inside of you, rhythmic thrusts no more. He groaned, collapsing onto your chest. Mikoto laying on her side next to you. In unison they both spoke, “Welcome home.”

—————————————————————————

A/n this one def stomped me, but I hope it’s good 🤔

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

The One Where Jensen Ackles Confirmed Cockles in 2016(????) No. Seriously. For real.

this is a DOOZY. strap in folks.

DISCLAIMER: this is chock full of rps. if you are against cockles/jenmish in any way, this post is not for you. however, if you’re like me, ummmmm...

alright. so. we are REALLY in it now, cockles truthers. and make no mistake, i DO NOT want to undersell the significance of what we have found on this glorious day in 2021.

BUT HEY! DISCLAIMER FIRST, THOUGH IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING! do not EVER bring this to jensen and misha’s attention. do not comment disrespectful things on social media. when cons/panels start again, don’t ask them questions about it. ever!!! that’s super weird, for one thing, and for two, they won’t give you the answer you want anyway! so, yeah. just be decent, y’all. let’s continue. 

so my dear mutual @green-blue-heller made this post today and i promptly lost my mind. in it, they link this video:

as far as i can tell, it’s from VegasCon 2016 but was only unprivated on january 24, 2020(dean winchester’s birthday??? wow ok) for some reason, and we have overlooked it until now. to whoever it was that posted it, THANK you for my reason for being and this delayed gratification five years later. anyway, let’s get into it.

right off the bat, those expressions in the thumbnail kind of tell you all you need to know about what we’re venturing into. i have to thank BOTH jensen AND j*red for being ridiculously transparent. i mean...j*red purposefully avoiding eye contact with jensen and looking at the ceiling with his eyebrows raised sky high? jensen hiding his face in his hands, smiling and blushing like a fool, the misha face™ & grin???

so let’s break down what happens with timestamps and everything.

so! i looked up what the question was, i scoured through the entire Vegas Con video, and here it is:

‘My question is for Jensen and Jared. You guys are both happily married, and I noticed that many people had a hard time explaining how they know their significant other is the one. The one they want to spend the rest of their life with, the one that they want to be with, and so, I wanted to ask you guys, how did you know that your current- who you’re with now(audience laughter cuts the rest of the question off and it’s unintelligible)’ ….i’m solidly guessing that the end of that question boils down to ‘was the one’. (....i...uhhhh....have some thoughts on how this question affected jensen, and i will be going into them later.)

Jared: *laughs* Jared, Jensen. When did you first meet your future ex-wives?

*both of them laugh*

Jared: I’m just kidding-I get what you’re trying to say and thank you, um...I, uh, I guess my current wife, uh-

*both laugh again*

Jensen: (sarcastically) Let’s start with her.

Jared: (repeats) Let’s start with her. I, uh, I...you said something kinda, uh, amazing in your question, which is that a lot of people have a tough time or a difficult time explaining to their significant others or to themselves what it is. And I guess I feel that I have no way to possibly explain it to myself or to her... I remember that I had been in a relationship and that I was single and I was like ‘I am not interested in getting in a relationship’ and then she and I went on a date and I was like, ‘I can’t go anywhere else. I’m not interested.’ So, that was kinda what, um, what started it for me *clears throat loudly* Uh. Yeah, I just feel like (searching for words) she makes me a better person-there are a lot of people that make you a better person, and so that’s not enough, I don’t think-or maybe it is, who knows-um...I don’t know, I can’t really...if I could explain, I’d be a poet.

here’s where things start to get interesting. before jared says ‘If I could explain, I’d be a poet,’ Jensen’s face looks like this:

stoic, thoughtful, composed. and then AFTER jared says that his face makes THIS little journey:

go watch it for yourself. this man is ridiculous. in terms of body language? he gazes up and AWAY from jared. it is a private thought, he is not sharing in jared’s joke with him, if at all. it is his own personal musings that make his face LIGHT up like that. this fool looks lovestruck!!! this fool is lovestruck!!!

now, i think it goes without saying, but there is an obvious cockles reason that springs to mind for this reaction. (hint: misha is a poet. that’s it, that’s the reason.) i don’t think jared intentionally said this with misha in mind, but jensen’s thoughts IMMEDIATELY went there. whether or not this is because he was already planning on answering and hinting at his relationship with misha before jared says this, which i think he was-you can certainly see the wheels turning in jensen’s head before this moment-his brain involuntarily makes the connection and it shows in his glowing smile. after that remark...jensen’s gone. he’s whipped. and he HAS to say something about it. 

continuing from where we left off:

Jared: ...and I would love to be a poet. (thought it would be fun to mention that at this point Jensen catches what his face did and immediately looks over to Jared and WIPES the expression of his face...but it’s too late, because someone recorded it, i saw it, and now i’m writing about it five years later)

Jared: But uhh…

Jensen: (interrupting) Just tap me when you want me to take over. 

i think that jensen is simultaneously joking and is also more than ready to say what he’s been composing in his head diligently for the last thirty or so seconds. he has made up his mind, and is now ready to drop the bomb on us.

*audience laughs, Jared playfully swats at him*

Jared: Uh… *thinks in silence for a bit* It’s really difficult, it’s really difficult. She makes me feel safe, she makes me feel loved. Uh...when...I’m in a position where I don’t love myself, I know she loves me, you know, um...she’s just an awesome, awesome lady.

*audience claps*

alright! so in terms of my OWN analysis for what’s happened up until this point, the conclusion i have come to is that there was something in the question that was asked that sets jensen’s mind off about misha, and i think it was the ‘the one’ comment. if we’re putting our cockles goggles on, jensen doesn’t HAVE a ‘the one’. he resents thinking like that. i’m also very intuitive, and i get a sense that jensen is an honest person and can’t really tell a convincing lie. i mean...we all saw that horrible airbnb debacle, right? and his slip up when he accidentally confirms that misha woke up and said ‘i miss (maison)’[which how would you know that unless you were...nvm] and became a stammering mess and had to sit down and cover his face. and that misha is always the one to take the lead when it comes to denying clothes sharing, for instance. jensen has never ONCE attempted to explain that away, because i don’t think anyone would believe him, and i think he’s incapable of doing so because he’s not a dishonest person and can’t lie easily. i’m the same way, so to avoid telling a lie i always speak partial truths, and i’m 99% sure jensen is well versed in this talent as well. oh, also, just to really land my point....we all know how he feels about the finale because he can’t make himself speak well on it. he’ll gush about 15x18 and the PEOPLE BEHIND the finale, but he has not uttered one. positive. word. about the actual finale itself. i mean, we all know what he thinks about it. in his own way, he has made his rage glaringly obvious. and i think he’s doing that exact thing here, where he resents the implication that daneel is the only ‘one’ for him, because that’s simply not true, and he can’t and won’t lie about something like that. 

i watched it back again and wrote notes on jensen’s body language as he’s processing the question. here they are:

from 0:13 to 1:21, jensen: 

looks down - tenses face - searching eyes, lost in thought - jared’s comment brings him out of it but it takes a second - fidgets, adjusts clothes, looks at jared - bites the inside of his cheeks and moves tongue around his mouth(pacifying gesture) - eyes start wandering away from jared, looks down and tenses face, looks back at jared - then looks away, eyes and mind far from the panel and pondering the question itself - somewhat wistful expression, gears clearly turning in his head, lips pursed, stops reacting to what jared is saying, fingers start fidgeting, eyes have moved downward as he is lost in thought - something shifts in his brain, he looks to the ceiling, fidgets and adjusts his clothing, squints and seems to resolve an inner thought - slightly comes back down to earth with newfound resolution - and then jared’s ‘i would be a poet’ comment happens while he’s coming down from that

i mean, this obviously doesn’t necessarily mean anything huge(yet), all it shows is that this question took a lot of thinking for him. when you compare it to how jared kind of just dove in? 

anyway; so then jared’s done, he slaps jensen’s thigh to indicate it’s his turn, jensen makes THAT face you see in the thumbnail, jared’s eyebrows raise, jensen looks down and scratches his forehead, and then makes the statement of a lifetime. 

here’s the link for this next part

Jensen: Ummm..I kind of feel like there’s two types of people ..uh..in regards to marriage and the, the one. Uh, it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you. And, I kind of find myself in between both of those(...types of people). And uh, and so, it can be a scary endeavour, and it can, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, um, but I think it’s a, uh, it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey that, uh, if you’re willing to stick it out with one another, can be an amazing, beautiful thing and I’m glad that I picked the partner and the teammate that I have, so.

i’ll give you like a second to recuperate before we dig in. 

let’s start with both jared and jensen’s body language first, because it wasn’t even the words that clued me in, it was whatever the hell was going on with jared’s face. 

i really wish i could gif, but i can only attempt to convey the SPEED and VIGOUR with which jared snaps his head toward jensen. 

these pictures are objectively hilarious because you can see the entire mental journey that jared goes on. he was aloof and kind of relaxed because he was done, it’s jensen’s turn now, he’s surely not gonna out himself with this question right? and then jensen goes ahead and says ‘there are two-’ and jared instantly zones right into jensen with a look of horror on his face, that he tries to contain, but does so unsuccessfully. that is the face of a man who is internally freaking out, thought to himself ‘did he seriously just say...’ and is kind of staring at the culprit in shock and awe.

i know that’s what’s happening, because this is not the first time we’ve seen him react like this to something jensen has said. the classic head whip. a few examples, just off the top of my head:

1. ‘he has, hasn’t he?’ 

2. ‘he sounds like that in the morning’ ‘how do you know’ 

3. when he whips his head around when he notices jensen’s face(and instantly understands when he realizes it’s misha)

so yeah, i’m sure you get it by now. jared can’t really keep it off of his face. there’s no real analyzing to be done here...it’s just an obvious tell on his part. there’s no real reason for him to have reacted this way if jensen was saying something inconspicuous, is there? he would have continued to just kind of space out if jensen hadn’t just said something jarringly questionable. 

as for jensen’s body language, i can’t really tell where he’s looking from either angle of both videos i’ve seen. sometimes it seems like he’s looking straight at jared, and maybe nods at him once, but he could also(and is most likely) looking at the fan who asked the question. i don’t think there’s anything particularly telling about his body language because i think he rehearsed his answer in his head and also, he’s not shying away because he’s not lying about anything. like...everything he’s saying is true, so he’s not going to have any tells. and it’s the fact that he is TELLING THE TRUTH that is freaking jared out.

now for what he actually says. because oh my god. 

right off the bat, he says “i kind of feel like there’s two types of people..” and first off, what? what does that even mean? if you think of it in terms of ‘this is about daneel and only daneel’....isn’t this a realllyyyyy strange thing to start out with? objectively? the question that was asked to him was ‘how did you know they were the one?’ and he goes ‘actually there’s TWO types of people’ ...like, jensen never answers the question at hand. 

and then he goes “in regards to marriage and the one”. i hope i’m not the only one who noticed he said the words ‘the one’ in a resentful and kind of degrading tone? seriously, listen to it again. he seems like he’s almost mocking that sentiment. i swear i’m not making it up, it really sounds like that to me. 

and then he says “-it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you.” *NON TINHAT VERSION OF EVENTS* what he could mean, i guess, is he was both scared to be with daneel but also knew she was the one for him. which....ok. alright. *TINHAT BACK ON* first off, there’s absolutely no risk with daneel. that’s not a judgement, because i love her; it’s just true. she’s a pretty, talented, amazing woman and they are very much in love. i’m not sure what risks he’s taking there. next up: pretty strange wording then, don’t you think? idk, if it were you, and you wanted to get that point across, wouldn’t you use words like ‘she both scared me and i knew i wanted to be with her at the same time’ and NOT this convoluted mess of ‘there’s two types of people and they are both drastically different but also one and the same’? 

SECOND OF ALL, as many people have pointed out.....he never uses pronouns. this is strange. jared does. jared says gen’s name, even. and uses ‘she’ and ‘her’. jensen never once does that, he practically refuses to do so. and yes, i fully believe it is entirely intentional.

because if you look at this phrase from a cockles lens it makes more sense then if you do not. 

the one that jensen knows, unequivocally, with the utmost certainty, is the one for him, no doubts, no risks; is daneel. the one that he doesn’t know about, is scared of being with, but is willing to take that leap of faith anyway; is misha. and all of a sudden the puzzle pieces fall into place.

because he goes on to say “I kind of find myself in between both of those.” 

he doesn’t say ‘i find myself in between both of those...with her.’ nope. he’s just...in between. caught in the middle. of those two types of people. translation: of those two people. mish. dee. 

“And it can be a scary endeavour, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, but I think it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey...” 

every single one of those words can be applied to more than one person. think about it. bond(between three people). connection(between three people). friendship(between three people!!!). there’s no ‘partnership’ in here, which does only apply to two people. 

lastly, “i’m glad i picked the partner and the teammate that i have.”

ok, look. you can easily say that it’s just one person he’s talking about here! of course you can. but this is jensen ackles we’re talking about. jensen ‘rock and pebble’ ackles. jensen ‘mish. dee.’ ackles. so yes. i definitely think that ‘the partner and the teammate’ fall into this category. and i think daneel is the partner and misha is the teammate. 

to put it matter-of-factly: you simply cannot prove that this isn’t about a poly relationship. there is absolutely nothing he says that makes it obvious he is talking about one person here. because he isn’t. 

i just feel like, in the simplest terms, if this were about only daneel, that he would not be using these weird phrases that are half-hidden truths. just to compare, i watched another panel where pretty much the exact same question was asked, minus the whole ‘the one’ debacle, and, just as i suspected, it was an entirely different answer. he talks about the moment where he knew he liked her. her, specifically. says the name daneel. gushes about her. there’s no tiptoeing and weird pronoun usage and vague terminology. 

tl; dr : i think he answered the question this way because there is no ‘the one’ in his life. and he is physically incapable of leaving misha out when talking about ‘the one’ because he has TWO ‘the ones’. and he wants to answer the question to the best of his best ability, but lying is unnatural to him. he will talk about daneel at length and misha at length, but i honestly to my core don’t think you could make him choose between the two. oh! and we literally had confirmation all the way back in fucking 2016, we just never paid attention until now. so......thanks, jensen?

sorry, this got super long, but i hope i warned you well enough. 

[lisinfleur]

In your arms

The request:

Author’s Notes | Fuck the whole universe. I can't see that shitty ending for our pup and not doing anything about this. So, here is the first of the many things I'll write to correct what made us bleed in this last season of our beloved show! Hope you guys like it! Universe | Vikings Pairing | Hvitserk x Reader Info | Viking age AU, fixing plot AU, requested by anon. Words | 2941 ⁑ Warnings: Spoilers ahead. Mention to major character’s death, some angst.

"No brother! You've done your work! Do not interfere anymore. All my life has been a preparation for this moment. Stay back."

The sound of Ivar's voice and their last conversation for a long time populated his mind.

The many times they'd tried to reach for each other's ends and failed miserably made sense all at once in a single sentence.

"I could never kill you..."

What was left untold for their whole life, finally spoken.

"I love you. Now go. Go!"

Screams of strength and bravery overcame Ivar's final words of fear in Hvitserk's mind.

"Are we afraid of the death? No!"

For days he laid among the Christians after burying his brother like a true Viking lord, ensuring whoever was to find his grave would know what his brother wanted...

"Here is the grave of the most famous Viking that ever lived!"

The last promise he made before his little brother's eyes were lost from his to go into the golden doors he wasn't able to see, but was sure were open for Ivar to enter, engraved in his mind as if they were marked by fire.

"No one will ever forget Ivar, the Boneless."

He had to do it. He had to push forward his brother's legacy and what better way than doing what Ivar intended when they came back to stand on those cursed lands once again? Those poisonous lands that took his father, two of his little brothers, and the memory of the older one from who he separated in that place. That terrible place.

He would burn that place to ashes! And then he would spread those ashes over Ivar's grave like a gift to his brother's memory.

And so... He would come home. To fulfill one last promise also marked on fire in his mind and his heart.

"I'll come back, Y/N. I'll come back to you."

He had just found you after the many years of tragedy in his life. So, you became his secret in Kattegat. A secret he didn't tell not even to his beloved little brother, afraid somehow Ivar's hands could reach and rip his heart from his chest one more time.

You served his tables when he was younger and became a free woman since no one was caring about the fleeing slaves in the middle of that whole war he and his brothers fought with each other. But you'd never forgotten him and when he came back with his brother under the angry words of the town, you came after him, spoke of long-gone times and memories. And you offered your services for him who was once a good master in exchange for his mercy since now you were lost and helpless in the middle of the confusion Kattegat had become with so many rulers in so little time.

It didn't take too long for him to see you were a gift the gods had blessed him with. In a matter of days, his heart was bent.

To fall in love with you was easy. To leave you at the cabin when the time to leave had come was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

You cried in his chest and he could still remember how hard it was to hold your tears. He knew it could be his last battle... You knew he could never come back from that trip. But they had to do it.

You couldn't argue with his fate.

You couldn't beg him to stay.

So, you made him promise he would come back to you and swore you would wait for him. To warrant his promise was real, he left his recently recovered arm ring in your hands.

His fingers touched the pendant on his chest. Another hacksilver, placed alongside the one he had earned from his father on his necklace. You had given that pendant to him saying you wanted it back and so, he would have to come back to give it back to you.

Sometimes Hvitserk would wonder what was in your mind now. He knew the news of Ivar's defeat and Harald's death had reached Kattegat at that point. Would they say he was dead as well? Did they know he was a prisoner for so long?

Would you be there, waiting for him yet?

Promises were promises. Things were close to an end.

Hvitserk stopped a moment to admire his little brother's mind and toughness once again: it was hard as fuck to play games with the Christians and mislead them was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. Hvitserk was a berserker. The mindless battle was his favorite game and those mental games were Ivar's specialty.

Maybe it was why he decided to do it that way.

Ivar's way.

It was his brother's legacy after all.

For months he had played the Christian. He accepted that stupid baptism and walked with a cross around his neck. He spoke meekly and accepted that stupid name they gave him as if it could erase everything he was and would ever be.

From behind, his crows were cawing at the Dane kings' ears at the settlement beside Wessex, remembering them he himself was also a son of Ragnar, fated to Valhalla, who, unlike Ubbe, wanted those lands entirely to their people as a fair payment for the lives those Christians had stolen from them.

Ragnar Loðbrók.

Harald Finehair.

Ivar, the Boneless.

The whole unavenged settlement prince Aethelwulf had destroyed years ago in time...

Their blood was considered a fair price for his people to rise. The position of third Dane king, abandoned by his older brother, was a vacancy Hvitserk was considered fitting to occupy.

Under the mantle of lies and with the night by his side, Hvitserk dressed his armor once again and headed up to the doors of the Royal Villa to open them to his people like once his brother Ubbe had opened the gates of York for them to enter.

Standing in the middle of the gates as the army of Vikings invaded the town, Hvitserk could almost hear his brother's voice screaming and the sound of that unmistakable chariot filling the air as if Ivar was riding with them into the Royal Villa, conquering what he wasn't able to see falling in front of his eyes.

Alfred fled with Elsewith and their child. Hvitserk spared their lives as they had spared his own. What's fair is fair and Ivar would forgive him for denying the royal blood to his vengeance, but Alfred had respected his brother's death, his grave wasn't touched and his life was preserved.

But the town was on fire, invaded and taken as Ivar once planned.

With the dawn, Hvitserk received a mark on his face to resemble his crown as the third Dane King his brother didn't want to be. But he knew he wouldn't stay as much as Ubbe didn't stay.

He was wounded and tired, but Ivar was avenged and it was time to fulfill his next promise.

"I ordered them to build a shrine for you, brother. They must start soon and the Danes ensured me they'll use the stones from the royal castle to build it around your grave," Hvitserk said, touching the stones of the simple tomb he had rose with his own hands. "They'll paint runes and make sacrifices. And this place shall be marked with your story, my brother. No one will ever forget who you were and, in the future, when they find this place, everyone will know here is the grave of the great Ivar, the Boneless, son of Ragnar Loðbrók, feared by many around the world and for whom this land fell into our hands."

His fingers caressed the stone as if he could touch Ivar's face once again.

"But now I think you know I have to go... And leave you behind, brother. For you'll be always alive in my heart, but she's waiting for me. I know I never told you anything about her... I had my reasons, you know them very well," he sighed. "I did it all for you, Ivar. And if she ever gives me a son, I'll name him after you, so he can keep telling your story throughout the years. I'll never forget you, brother. Hail and farewell, Ivar. We'll see each other again when the time comes..."

Leaving behind the first hacksilver of his necklace as a gift to his brother, Hvitserk left, mounting his horse and riding towards the docks where a Dane boat was already waiting for him, ready to take him home.

For a moment, Hvitserk placed his eyes on that land once again. Maybe it was the last time he would ever see that cursed place. Maybe one day he would come back to see Sigurd and Ivar and his father as well. Or maybe, like Ivar, he would come and die there alongside the ones he loved. The time would say. Fate would say.

He was finally coming home.

The boat took ages to make a trip he didn't remember was that long. Ingrid was the new queen and he could see the awe in her eyes when he jumped out of that boat, holding himself whole in spite of his tiredness.

"We thought you were..."

"Dead, like my brother. And your husband, I suppose," Hvitserk didn't care about cutting the queen's sentence. "Release your breath, woman. I have my own crown and have no interest in the one on your head. You're Harald's wife and he was Norway's king. This is now your problem, but still, my homelands so get used to having me walking around from time to time," he said, carelessly pointing down to the ground. "Now you excuse me, your highness... I have more important matters to treat. Spare me from feasts in your hall: The son of Ragnar may be back home, but I'm tired, exhausted... All I want is to find my woman and rest in her arms."

"Your what?"

But he left Ingrid and her whole surprise behind, walking away from the boat as the Danes were preparing to move with their trip. They wouldn't stay. He wouldn't come back, at least, for now.

If he ever had to die in those cursed lands, he would do it like his father: before growing too old.

After living his whole life.

His steps were still limping and for a moment, he giggled, remembering how Ivar had limped that whole pier under horrible words where now there were smiles and grateful faces blessing his return. Would they bless if Ivar was back as well?

Oh, they would. But his brother wanted more than just their blessings.

And he wanted more than just their words.

Hvitserk straightened his cloak. His limping steps walking through the streets with many memories, sometimes sad memories, sometimes sweet ones. And as his steps shortened the distance towards his cabin, the sweetest memories came, remembering him of his sneaky movements through those streets to find you without his little brother's eyes over him. The kisses you'd exchanged. Your hands against his skin.

His heart pounded when his eyes finally reached that door. It was still the same... The cabin was still exactly as his memories could build it in his mind. But it was silent and it, for a moment, stopped everything into Hvitserk's heart.

Could it be that the news of his death had sent you away for good?

Did he take too long to come back? Did someone tell you he was turned into a Christian and you believed it was for real?

His fingers touched the door and he hesitated before knocking on it.

What if you weren't there to answer?

What if there was another with you in his place now?

It was easier to burn down the Christians' village than it was to knock on his own house's door, but the sound of footsteps inside approaching the door turned Hvitserk's mind completely blank for a second.

The lock was opened and his eyes watched as the light from outside invaded the darkened cabin, covering your figure and showing the pale tones of your apron dress.

"Now it's not a good time, I'm..."

Your voice died into your throat. And your eyes met his in a long moment of silence where the whole world seemed to be stopped along with time itself.

Hvitserk could watch as the line of your eyes filled slowly with tears. He observed as the tears became thicker and broke the line, rolling down your face. Your beautiful face... He thought so many times he would never see you again.

You sobbed, losing the strength of your legs. And Hvitserk held you in his arms, feeling the warmth of your body against his chest once again.

It wasn't one more of his dreams. You were there.

He was home.

His scent invaded your nose and your sobs engulfed you whole as you nestled into his arms, holding him so tight that your knuckles became white against his clothes.

"Shh... Hush, my sweet love. I'm here now. I'm here with you," he mumbled as your sobs became louder.

You thought he was dead.

They told you he was dead.

You cried your soul out on that pier, begging the gods to drag your body into the waters and allow you to swim towards him into Valhalla as queen Gunnhild had done after her beloved Björn.

But instead, they held you back.

And as Hvitserk's hands cupped your face before he could seal his lips against yours, tasting your flavors he missed so bad once again, you understood why the gods had given you a reason to keep yourself alive.

It was for him. You were his gift.

And the gods had decided to bless him once more.

"I brought it back to you, my love," he said, giving your pendant back with his necklace. "The other... I left with him," he mumbled.

Eyes full of sadness for his brother you knew wouldn't come back with him.

You gave back his arm ring, caressing his hand as he smiled.

"I thought I would never see you again," he mumbled.

His warm and big hand caressing your face, drying the tears from it before you could finally speak between the sobs.

"They told us you were dead, my sweet prince. I mourned alone and wanted to follow you into Valhalla to serve your feast. But the gods forbade me. They took my freedom for it wasn't my choice anymore."

Hvitserk looked at you curious, not understanding your words until you brought him into the cabin enough for his eyes to land on the basket over his bed.

"They filled me with life and entrusted me with your legacy. I couldn't go. They made me stay. And now I understand that's because you're here, my love. You're back to me."

There weren't words in his mouth anymore.

Hvitserk's steps limped towards the bed and he sat, looking at that basket with surprise and admiration. Inside, a pair of icy blues was facing him, remembering him of so much in his life inside those little eyes.

Ragnar's eyes.

Ubbe's eyes.

Ivar's eyes...

All looking at him into the little one's orbs as his son was trying to eat his own hand, hungry like himself.

"His name is Herleifr, son of Hvitserk. For he's indeed the son of a warrior and I wanted him to know where he came from..." you mumbled as Hvitserk gently lifted the little one from the basket, holding the baby against his chest.

This time it was his eye line unable to hold back his tears as his fingers gently touched the little one's hands and face.

He had seen so much death...

He had lost so much on that trip...

His hands had buried his own little brother and burned that town to the ground, but now, they were holding his future.

Hvitserk giggled.

"Herleifr... My brother shall forgive me once again. I must have to produce another so I can name it after him as I promised," he said, making you smile at his teary face.

You came closer, caressing his cheeks, drying his tears.

"We shall take care of you, my precious prince. And so, when you're healed, we shall produce as many heirs you think you want to honor all the ones you lost and more," you smiled, feeling his hand touching your face, pulling you closer so he could kiss you that way you loved so bad.

The baby cooed in his hand when your lips separated from each other and Hvitserk smiled.

"Now I'm home... Now... I'm back where I belong," he said, touching his forehead to yours, caressing your face with his thumb. "In your arms, my love. I belong in your arms and this is my place in this world."

For a second, Hvitserk could feel Ivar's eyes over him. And he smiled remembering he could be there to watch for him.

"Valhalla will wait," he said, almost being able to hear his little brother's giggle as he caressed your face, smiling at you. "I have a whole dynasty to produce with you first."

His time to find his beloved ones at Valhalla would come, he knew that. But until there, he would enjoy his place in Miðgarð and produce as many heirs as you were up to bear for him.

His time to fight was over for now and now it was time for him to be happy. And he would, by your side.

By your side, he would.

Do you like my work? Support me!

Tagged ones:

|| @bluearchersstuff​ || @ivarswickedqueen​ || @directionlessbuthappy || @akamaiden​ || @bang-kim-bap​ || @cris101071​ || @elysias-temple​ || @alicedopey​ || @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla​ || @lol-haha-joke​ || @readsalot73​ || @rekdreams247​ || @naaladareia​ || @laketaj24​ || @therealcalicali​ || @grungyblonde​ || @arses21434 || @honestsycrets​ || @2thequietone4​ || @blackspiritshake​ || @vikingsbifrost​ || @x-valhalla​ || @lyanna-the-giantsbane​ || @chinduda​ || @isthat-tyra98​ || @xinyourdreamsx​ || @thiahilmarsdottir​ || @queenbeeta​ || @winchesterwife27​ || @gold-dragon-slayer​ || @mzliterarydreamer​ || @marvelouuse​ || @lif3snotouttogetyou​ || @lordsexmachine​ || @deathbyarabbit​ || @ietss​ || @tgrrose​ || @alexisshoto​ || @letsloveimagines​ || @thorins-queen-of-erebor​ || @astrape-the-weatherwitch​ || @destynelseclipsa​ || @charming-merlin​ || @violetidk​ ||

Want to be tagged? Ask me!

[lifeofroos]

Masterlist of retellings/fanworks:

This list is seperated by category, with a short summary of each story beneath the title. The older the story, the higher it is listed in the category. So for the newest, probably best stories, look at the very end! 

Greek Mythology:

Much too lovely a night for commitment: 

Apollo got himself drunk (Or, as he calls it, ‘a little tipsy’). Dionysus decides its time for him to take a break and they end up talking.  

I am not necesserialy asking for your blessing (But I'd love to get it):

Artemis' afternoon rest is disrupted by Ariadne, who has something to say. Artemis doesn't necessarily disagree, but...

The Night:

Ariadne wandered far into the forest at night. It makes Dionysus nervous, but she can't help but feel calm and in love.

Vultures:

Vultures, Athena called them. Enyo and Ares take a break from battle in the encampment. They have to kindly disagree with their sister.

Ghost Story:

Ariadne is awoken one night by a ghost girl named Cora. They keep meeting again and again, through different stages in their lives.

The girl who likes dogs: 

Hades needs someone to walk his dog a few days per week. He asks Persephone to do it, as she walks more people's dogs. Yet, that might not be the only reason he asked her...

Back: 

Dionysus thought it would be impossible to get his beloved Ariadne back. When she is there again, in front of him, he thinks it can't be real. There is no way he can just hold her now, and love her again...

The Queenly Ghost:

Ariadne raises the spirit of Pasiphae, her mother. Although she isn't sure exactly what to say, she knows she has to say something.

I Hope For The Future:

Hades comes to the surface for a moment to have a chat with Demeter. They are still new to their domains and it is unsure who their allies will be. They hope it'll be each other.

The Story Of Tonight:

They should have held back Artemis, Apollo and Hermes before they climbed onto the buffet table. Now that they are already drunkenly singing, it is a little too late, don't you think?

I’ve Got A Proposal:

Usually, Dionysus tends to be quite smooth. Not when asking the woman he finds the best if she wants to marry him, though.

Test Of Courage: 

Dionysus and Hephaestus are nearing Olympus, meaning the end of their quest is in sight. Hephaestus wonders whether he'll dare to complete the mission when the time is there. Dionysus tries to show him he probably will.

I Told Him To Try A Little Harder:

Zeus wants Hera as his queen. Hera wants Zeus to prove he really thinks she is worth his efforts, with something big. Something unexpected.

Hide (Just a little longer):

Hera will be the queen of the universe, with her husband Zeus as the king. There is no denying it. Yet, she would like to keep it under the covers for a little longer - until she knows she finds the courage to tell her mother.

Give Me Anything But The Giraffes:

During his meanderings, Dionysus came to Africa, too. Without his army, he trecks further south into the country. A guide helps him over the savanah, where they meet some creatures Dionysus hopes he'll never encounter again.

The Walk: 

Aglaia loves Hephaestus and the other way around. Yet, so shortly after Aphrodite left, they don't know what to do about it. Maybe it's better that way. It means they can slowly discover their love instead of crashing into it.

Right Hand Men:

In order to create a destructive power the world has never seen before, Ares and Enyo decide to get married. Right now, at this very moment.

Kiss Me Not (Yet):

Ariadne wants to kiss Dionysus, she really does. Yet when she tries, all she can do is recoil. All Dionysus wants is for her to feel comfortable.

Mind and Matter:

Hephaestus never expected Athena to show up to his forge ever again. When she is there anyway, it takes little for the tears to come out.

For I Am Not A Weapon To Be Wielded:

Phaedra can hardly accept the feelings she got for Hippolytus. She starts to wonder why she has them and soon enough, she decides she doesn't want to be a weapon of the gods anymore. A retelling of Phaedra's story. Because I stuck to the source material, I can only advise viewer discression. Contains themes of suicide.

Mom Isn’t That Angry:

After Dionysus hasn't been seen on Olympus for a long time, Athena is send out to find him. She does, in a sleeping bag somewhere in the middle of nowhere, healing from injury. She decides to sit by and hold his hand until he feels better. Sometimes, it's the wisest thing a person can do.

I wish I could keep him:

Due to the danger on Olympus, Zeus gives Dionysus to Persephone, so she can raise him in secret for some time. When spring comes, he needs to come with her. She can't help but hope that she can keep him, just slightly longer, even though she knows the danger makes her hope idle.

Egyptian Mythology:

Two-faced:

Set killed Osiris. When Isis left to search for him, she left her son Horus drifting down the Nile. How big is the chance that Sets' wife Nephthys finds him? She takes him in, but whenever Sets' with her, she can't tell: Does he know, or not? And what does this mean for the baby, or more importantly, for them?

Riordanverse:

Hotel Walhalla’s weird activities to the death:

We all know of sword-fighting, spear-throwing, and yoga to the death. Yet, what other weird, totally peaceful activities have they managed to make dangerous in hotel Valhalla?

Percy Jackson one-shots: 

In this book, I write Percy Jackson one-shots. Most of them were previously uploaded on my FanFiction and Wattpad account, but I decided to transfer them here as well! ! I write romance, random headcannons and ideas, cute stuff and funny ideas (No angst, very bloody stuff or anything like that). The One-shots get better in quality further in the book. The first ones are not amazing, but I added them to be complete. Update: I have decided to stop writig one-shots, but all of these stay right where they are!

At Least He Got The Minotaur:

Percy has just arrived in camp. A camper runs to Chiron and Dionysus to tell them. The camp directors are more than a little surprised at the news that a new, young camper could defeat a minotaur. It couldn't be the prophecy, could it?

There are always reasons: 

Percy is in camp to meet with some friends. He seizes a chance to ask Dionysus about why the god released him from the Chrysler building, all those years ago. He gets a more profound answer than expected.

This Might Be Crazy:

Nico has some issues and needs help - even he agrees. He is just not really sure if Dionysus of all people will be able to help him. Or: A fic in which Nico gets therapy from Dionysus, learns to live again and regains control of his life, inspired by what was said in Tower of Nero. Updates every three days! This fic was nominated for the Solangelo awards 2021.

Elevators and Boys keep me awake:

Nico is going through a tough time. Luckily, he has his upstairs neighbour Dionysus to help him. Or: A Nico-gets-therapy-from-Dionysus-story, but in a mortal AU.

The Biters:

Short stories about Clarisse, told via those around her, ranging from when she was a little girl to getting claimed to getting a boyfriend and becoming a hero.

A Question:

Nico figures out Will went to Dionysus a couple of times, with questions about how to make his boyfriend feel more comfortable. Nico finds it adorable, really.

 Loki (2021):

Maltesers: 

Loki notices Mobius carrying a bag with a sweet scent coming off of it. Perhaps he would like to try some of that, too.

See You later, Alligator: 

Loki is bored on Asgard. On a wim, he decided to transform a few things in his room into animals. After all, what can come from that except for some harmless fun?

Bohemian Rhapsody, or: Misschief on ice

Finding out that Loki can figure skate is one. Finding out that he has qualified himself for a world championship is in a whole other ballpark. Still, Mobius and Sylvie support him to the best of their abilities. Even when Loki decides to skate by his own rules.

Whoever you are:

Loki is gender fluid. Before they knew Mobius, they casually slipped in and out of different looks, whatever felt right at the moment. When they began dating, it suddenly felt so weird. Mobius tells them he'll love them, no matter who they are.

Rangers’ Apprentice:

High school could go many ways:  

 For a group of five orphans, the time for high school has come. Will is determined to get onto a sports team. Yet, is that truly what he wants, or has he been putting up an act for himself?

During all of this I have one question: 

Crowley has an idea and plays a prank on Gilan and Halt. They handle the situation quite well, I would say.

KoFi - AO3 

[sunfloweradoring]

the one where five become four

masterlist

Hey everyone! I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone that has been following my writing recently, it’s absolutely insane to think nearly 300 people have read a couple of them! It means the world to me, so thank you <3 K xxx

word count: 2.7k

The boys had been on tour for a matter of months now; I couldn’t actually remember the last time I physically saw Harry. However, what got me through the lonely nights and long hours we couldn’t speak to each other was the knowledge I had - knowing he was doing what he loved and enjoyed above all else. There was only a few weeks of tour to go before they would all be home and with the people who loved them.

Everyone seemed just that little bit extra excited at this tour break because Zayn was to be getting married in this interlude. Perrie had kindly asked me to be a part of the wedding party, meaning me (along with many others of her close friends) had been beavering away back home, rigorously planning away from the wedding that seemed to be speeding towards us faster than we could process.

It made me so happy to see her so looking forward to the marriage - it was evident how she felt about him; and I couldn’t help but think about what it would be like for my own wedding. This year would be mine and Harry’s fifth together, and it only encouraged the small flame of excitement within me. Of course we’d spoken about marriage and the future we could have together, but he was yet to pop the question. I knew that it was definitely something I could do myself, but there was something in me that really wanted it to be Harry that asked me to be his wife - for the rest of our lives. 

I didn’t mind though, I was beyond happy where we were in our relationship currently. I felt so lucky to be a part of his hectic life and I loved to hear all the tour stories each time we got to sneak in a phone call or text. 

He really was the love of my life.

I couldn’t contain the smile that was threatening to come across my lips as I dialled Harry’s number and patiently listened to the dialling tone.

“Hello, love.” Harry’s gravely tone greeted me. Almost instantly, a frown took over my features as I pulled the phone away from my ear to quickly inspect the time. I’d been careful to leave my call late enough in the day to avoid waking him; yet his voice sounded like I’d done just that.

“Hiya, baby.” I gently responded. “Did I wake you up? I thought it was the afternoon or something there?” I questioned, leaning my body back against the pillows of our bed, my right hand absentmindedly stroking over his side of the bed as I spoke. There was a brief amount of shuffling on the other side of the phone before he spoke again.

“Y-yeah, it’s like three or something.” He replied. Now I was a little concerned. It really wasn’t like Harry at all to be so blunt on our phone calls - especially after so many weeks apart. Perhaps he was just feeling the distance particularly hard today, or recording hadn’t quite gone as smoothly as hoped. 

“You alright, Haz?” I was careful to keep my voice soft and smooth to prevent him from detecting my concern. 

“One sec,” Harry quickly replied before I heard his voice again, this time, though, at a distance from the phone. “Mate, I’m on the phone,” There was a muffled response from whoever ‘mate’ was. “No, I don’t wanna keep talking about it. We’re all in the same boat, here, I think we’ve talked about it enough for one day, don’t you think?” There was a brief moment of silence before: “You still there?”  I hummed in response, now completely confused as to what was taking place on his side of the the phone. 

“Baby...” My voice was met with a loud huff.

“Zayn’s thinking of taking a break.” He suddenly said. “He said he’s feeling too pressured and wants to go home for a week before coming back and continuing the tour.” Whatever I was expecting to be wrong, it certainly wasn’t anything like that.

“What?”

“He said we’ve been doing this almost nonstop for years and that he needs time to go home and breathe.”

“Oh my god.” I muttered, hand pushing the hair from my face. “Have you guys been talking about it all day? Is that what you just said?”

“Yeah; he just announced it at breakfast this morning and then just kinda shut himself in his room. He missed all the recording we were meant to be doing today. I don’t even know if he’s gonna come to the show tonight.”

“What are the others saying about it?” 

“Liam and Niall seem to having some sort of existential crisis about it. But honestly I’ve never seen Louis so angry before in my life.” As he spoke his words seemed to become more and more strained. 

“And you?” I spoke after he finished.

“What about me?”

“How do you feel about it?” His sniffles told me all I really needed to know but he did speak up after a minute.

“God I feel so conflicted.” His tone was a mixture of frustration, sadness and pure disappointment. I didn’t speak, allowing him time to continue. “This is like... the best thing that’s ever happened to me; this opportunity to go around doing things I love in different parts of the world, meeting fans, you know? And yeah, of course I understand the pressure he’s going on about; we’ve been putting out an album basically every year since X-Factor, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel like a chore - it’s something I want to do. It’s something we all want to do!” Pause. “Well, I thought we all wanted to do it.” He added quietly. I really felt at a loss for words. I’d never heard Harry sound so manic before and I worried what would come of this new situation. 

“Are you coming home?” I asked.

“N-no. Well, at least, I don’t think we are. I think it’s just him.” Another silence came over the phone. I really didn’t know what to say to him that would make it any better. “Baby...” Harry trailed off.

“Yeah?”

“Can you come? I just... I just really need you here right now.” I could hear him feverishly fighting back tears.

“Do you want me to come?”

“Yeah...” It almost sounded like a child, desperately calling for the comfort of his mother.

“Of course I can, my love. I’ll get there as soon as I can.”

                                                    ----------------

I managed to get a late night flight out that same day, getting me in the next day, early morning for his timezone. The hours on the plane seemed to pass at a snail’s pace; I couldn’t contact Harry; I couldn’t see if there was any news about anything for that period of time - only fuelling my anxiety at the situation. 

Finally, though, the plane landed and I was able to get into the airport, through immigration and retrieve my bag without too much delay. My knee nervously bounced against the floor of the car the entire ride towards the hotel. Harry had already notified the reception that I was to be arriving, so they gave me a key to the room without trouble. I almost ran to the lift, pressing the button about four times; as if it somehow sped up the process. 

I scanned the numbers on the walls next to the doors as I made my way down the corridor; I was pretty sure that this entire floor was dedicated to the boys and their extensive team, but I wasn’t about to waste time knocking on a million different doors. As I came closer to the end of the corridor I could hear shouting from inside room 803. I quickly glanced down at my phone, open on the text Harry had sent me with the information for the hotel.

‘Mine is 803, they should give you a key but I’ll leave it open for you xxx’

I huffed out a breath, pulling my small suitcase to a stop as I reached out for the door-handle. Before I could pull it, however, the door swung open and a red faced Niall was stood in front of me. 

Since 2011 Niall had become one of my best friends. A part from Harry (obviously) he was the one I was closest to in the band. We shared many things and I’d often been the one he called for advice on girls, or even held him (in a purely platonic way, of course) as he cried about his most recent heartbreak. He’d also been my shoulder to cry on in the times Harry and I experienced a particularly tough fight and was always willing to help both of us out in any way he could. His surprise to be met with me was evident in the way he spoke my name.

“Hey.” He cleared his throat, rubbing his palm roughly against his face. “I guess you’ve heard, then?” He asked, stepping to the side to allow me to enter the room, seeming to have forgotten about his departure of the space.

“Yeah.” I nodded in sympathy, reaching out to rub a soothing hand up and down his arm. 

“I just can’t fucking believe he could do this.” Harry came into my view as Niall spoke, his eyes red rimmed. 

“He’s just stressed, I’m sure he’ll come round. Just let him go home for a few days and cool off.” I suggested, walking towards Harry to pull him into a hug. 

“Let him go home?” Niall repeated.

“She doesn’t know, Niall. She’s just got here.” Harry speaks, voice croaky. 

“Don’t know what?” I asked, keeping my arms around Harry’s middle as I pulled away enough to look up at him. 

“He’s gone.”

“Gone?” I spoke Niall’s words again, looking between the two men in the room in utter confusion. “What do you mean he’s gone?” Harry pulled away, taking my hand to lead me towards the sofa in the room as Niall pushed the door closed and followed us. Harry and I sat, legs touching, on the sofa as Niall sunk down into the chair opposite. 

“Well you know that I said he just made the announcement at breakfast yesterday?” Harry asked, leaning back in the cushions, arm slung over the back of the furniture behind me. I nodded, urging him to continue. “He just stayed in his room pretty much all of yesterday; he spoke to Lou before the rest of us left for the show, he didn’t come, even though he said he would.”

“He was gone by the time we got back.” Niall finished. 

“Oh my god.” I breathed, my head falling into my hands. “Well what the hell does that mean?” 

“We don’t know.” Harry replied. Both men looked in a right state; I wouldn’t be surprised if they told me neither of them had a wink of sleep last night. Both of their hair, usually pretty immaculate, was now roughly sticking out every which way as if they’d been pulling and pushing at it in frustration. 

“Has any of his family said anything?” I asked. “Perrie?”

They shook their heads in reply, looking down sorrowfully. Suddenly the door was pushed open and one of their body guards walked in. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” He started, shooting me an acknowledging nod. “There’s been some... developments.”

“What developments?” Niall asked.

“I think you should just come into Liam’s room, there’s a meeting.” He said, refusing to say anything and standing to the side of the door, watching the three of us. 

“I’ll stay here.” I offered, watching Harry and Niall get up.

“No, come.” Harry said, holding his hand out. I took it, following him as he pulled me towards him, his hand at the small of my back as we were led by Niall out of the room. Collectively we muttered a ‘thanks’ to the man holding the door open as we went to the room three doors down.

“One sec,” I said, feeling my phone vibrate in my back pocket. “I’ll meet you in there.” I slipped it out, giving them an encouraging smile and nod before answering it - not looking at who the caller was. “Hello?” I was answered by someone crying out my name. “Perrie?” Harry stopped, reaching out and grabbing Niall’s arm to stop him continuing into the room as they both spun around to watch me.

“It’s Z-Zayn.” She continued to cry.

“What’s happened? Has he made it home?” I asked, exchanging a worried look with Harry. As I spoke, Louis, Liam and their tour manager emerged from the room, all standing and watching me.

“What’s going on?” Liam whispered. Niall quickly explained.

“He just texted me. He said he’s back in London, but he said that was it. He wasn’t going back. The band is over for him. And so are we!” She hiccuped between each sentence, her explanation laced with sobs. My heart seemed to come to a juddering holt at her words.

“The band’s over? What do you mean? You’re over?”

“He’s called off the wedding!” 

                                                   ----------------

I sat in Liam’s room next to Harry as their tour manager explained the situation. “So he’s quit?” Louis asked after what felt like an eternity of silence between the seven of us. It was evident in his ton and body language it was taking every fibre in his body not to rage.

“What the fuck?” Niall cried, face falling into his palms. His shoulders were shaking, showing us that his tears were falling. Liam moved to sit on the arm of his chair, pulling him into a hug, but it was clear he himself was fighting tears. 

“And he’s broken up with Perrie?” Liam confirmed, looking between me and their manager. We both nodded. 

I was absolutely stunned. I didn’t know what was going on. The last twenty four hours and been a rollercoaster, a whirlwind, going from one thing to the next in what felt like a flash.  

“Christ... I can’t believe this.” Louis said. It hadn’t gone unnoticed to me that Harry remained silent. I turned my head to look at him; he seemed to be in a sense of shock. I gently squeezed the hand that was in mine. 

“Haz...” I prodded quietly, my other hand rubbing up and down his thigh gently.

“Can we go?” He croaked, averting eye contact. 

“Um... I think we’ll be right back.” I spoke up, standing and waiting for Harry to follow. The other seemed to have an unspoken understanding; all feeling this sense of numbness and loss. We made our way back to Harry’s room in silence. I pushed the door shut behind us, watching cautiously as Harry went straight to the bed and almost fell onto it, his gaze staring up at the ceiling. I slowly approached him, laying beside him without a word. Both of his hands were sort of cupped around his mouth, eyes welling with tears. 

“Come here, baby.” I whispered, pulling his body into mine as he let out a choked sob. His head rested on my chest as I wrapped him in my arms. Soon more sobs escaped his mouth, morphing into an almost continuous cry as his body shook. “Shhh, my love, it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay. Just let it out.” I spoke gently into his hair as I kissed the back of his head. With each passing moment my heart was breaking more and more. Never had I seen him like this and it saddened me to no end. 

About half an hour had gone passed where he had uttered no words or sounds. “Thank you,” His voice was hoarse and muffled into my jumper.

“What for, my darling?”

“For coming, for being here. For just... being you.” He whimpered. I sniffled, a couple of my own tears falling from my eyes.

“Of course.” I replied, squeezing him gently. “Of course.” 

Neither of us knew what was going to follow this day; would the band continue? Would this be the end of the road for all of them? All I did know was that as long as Harry and I were together, we could weather any storm thrown our way, because we loved each other, supported each other, unconditionally. 

[wayward-mikaelson]

Winter’s Doll-Chapter Nine

Word Count: 1887

About: Nadia regrets her one night stand with Thor. Steve and Nadia talk about Nikola’s belongings. Bucky somewhat flirts with Nadia.

Characters: Nadia, Bucky, Wanda, Steve, Thor (Mentioned) and Natasha (Mentioned), Timothy Ketch (OC) 

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Language, mention of death, and mention of corrupt government

A/N: Sorry this took for-freaking-ever to get out. It’s going to be that weird, odd short part...sort of a filler. 

*This work contains content made for the 18 and up crowd. Please read at your own discretion.

**Please do not copy and paste my work. Reblogs and sharing the link are fine.

***This work is also posted on others sites like WattPad and AO3 for those who prefer to read there. Links can be found in the pinned post on my profile

****Go follow my other accounts. Links can be found in the pinned post on my profile

*****Currently NOT taking requests (hopefully in the future)

******Feedback is welcomed!

Forever Tags: @hobby27 @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @elansaidaris @magssteenkamp @440mxs-wife

Marvel Tags: @soccer-100000

Winter’s Doll Tags: @supernatural-love14 @loudlylovingalpaca

Bucky/Sebastian Tags: OPEN

Masterlist

Marvel Masterlist

Winter’s Doll Masterlist

Chapter Eight

Favorite Fics Masterlist

Nadia woke up the next morning not remembering how she even got to her room. Hell, she barely remembered a majority of the night. She recalled skipping out on the debriefing and drinking an entire bottle of vodka while talking to Thor. Bits and pieces sort of pieced together like a dream. There was some kissing and touching but, Nadia couldn’t remember anything else. 

“Oh shit,” she hissed as she rolled over and felt a twinge of soreness between her legs. Then she remembered what Thor and her did. It was more than touching and kissing--It was one hundred percent pure filth. “Oh God,” she whispered and ran her hand along her face. 

Nadia got out of bed and noticed a folded piece of paper on her nightstand. She didn’t want to open it but, her curiosity got the best of her and she grabbed the paper and opened it. In really fine print the short note read:

Lady Alekiev, I’m sorry to have to leave before the sunrise. I received word that my brother, Loki, is what you mortals say up to no good. I hope to make it up to you whenever I am on Earth next.

“Oh, Thor,” Naida whispered as she closed the note. Nadia wasn’t going to lie, the note was sweet, but Nadia knew that she couldn’t. Yes, she thought that the God of Thunder was attractive, but she wanted nothing more. “I’m sorry.” 

Nadia showered and got ready for the day. She knew that she would need to meet with Steve about last night's mission. Part of her still didn’t want to, she knew that Steve would want her to open that crate. All her thoughts about it the night before, flooded her head once again. She popped some Advil and chugged a few glasses of water before heading out. 

Nadia stared at herself in the mirror and saw a faint, dark circle at the base of her neck. Getting a closer look, she realized it was a hickey. “Damn it,” she groaned as she reached into her drawer to find a hair band and did her best to cover it up. Now Nadia hoped that she didn’t have anyone to spare with. 

Nadia finally made her way out of the room.

“Hey,” Bucky called from behind her. She turned around to see his eyes bright and a smile on his lips. “I went to see how you were last night but you weren’t in your room. Steve told me not to worry about it because you were with Thor.”

Nadia slightly jumped at the name Thor. Did he know? Oh God, she hoped not. She didn’t want to admit it out loud, but she wished it was Bucky last night and not Thor. Nadia’s little crush had turned into huge, blown feelings. 

“Yeah,” Nadia rang her hands together. “We drank a lot. He helped me to bed I guess, cause I have no memory of going to bed.” Nadia took notice of how his eyes furrowed when she said Thor helped her to bed. It disappeared just as fast too. “I’m fine, Bucky.” Nadia smiled.

“Good,” Bucky smiled back. “I worry about my best girl sometimes.”

Nadia scrunched up her face. “Just sometimes, Barnes?” she teased. She didn’t let it slip past her that he called her his best girl. Maybe another timeless term like when he calls her doll? Nadia didn’t care.

“The other times I know that you have your ass covered and would beat a mother fucker down,” Bucky chuckled. 

“Without hesitation,” Nadia began to walk towards the kitchen and Bucky followed.

“Without hesitation and no help needed.” Bucky had leaned down, Nadia could feel the closeness and heat of his breath by her ear. Then just like that, it was gone and he was gone. Nadia felt a shiver run down her spine.

She watched as he walked away and metally kicked herself that it wasn’t Bucky with her last night. Nadia has had a few one night stands before. She’s had her few where she’s regretted it. But it didn’t come close to what she was feeling right now. 

Wanda had been right.

“What was I right about?” Wanda asked when Nadia entered the kitchen. She was making toast and by the look on her face, Naida knew that it was meant for her. “I made you something small.” She slid the toast to Nadia who willingly took it.

“I’ll tell you later,” Nadia took a bite and eyes Bucky in the corner of the kitchen making himself a cup of coffee. She knew that he would be listening. She didn’t forget that little face he made when she said Thor’s name. “I have to meet with Steve about last night.”

“Okay,” Wanda chirped but you could see the curious look in her eyes. Then her head snapped towards Bucky. “Dude, calm your thoughts, I do not need to picture what you’re picturing right now.” 

Before Nadia could ask, Steve came into the kitchen. He was still in his gear and it looked like he didn’t catch any sleep at all. He poured some coffee and turned to Nadia. “You ready?” Nadia could hear the tiredness in his voice.

“Did you sleep at all?” Nadia asked standing up. She had finished her toast and went to pour a cup of coffee only to have Bucky hand her a cup. “Thank you,” Bucky smiled and winked at her. The action surprised Nadia and she felt her cheeks get a bit warm that she quickly turned away from him back towards Steve.

“Not really, there was a lot to take apart from last night,” Steve sipped on his coffee. “There was a beeping sound in your brother's crate and we had no choice but to open it.”

Nadia nodded. “I see,” she said calmly, taking a sip of her own drink. “I’m guessing you guys went through it?” Nadia wasn’t mad. How could she be? She was just glad it was open.

“I’m sorry, Nadia,” Steve started to say. “When we got that beeping sound to stop, we saw a journal of his opened and it talked a lot about what you said before. Nat and I got so caught up in going through things…”

“It’s okay,” Nadia reassured Steve and mindlessly placed her hand on his arm. She also didn’t miss the look from Bucky in the corner of her eyes. His eyes zeroed in on the action that Nadia quickly dropped her hand. “Should we get this over with so you can sleep?”

For the next two hours, Steve and Nadia went over all the notes he and Natasha made last night. There names of soldiers that Nadia served with. There names of officers, like Timothy Ketch, were a part of this group. Nadia’s name was linked with a group of soldiers that were ready for the next phase. A phase that Nadia never saw. Among those, there were charts Nikola drew. There were random little notes. 

This was worse and much more dark than Nikola had made it out to be that night. He wanted to protect his sister and it brought tears to Nadia’s eyes. There were letters to the president that were obviously intercepted along with letters to home. There were letters to Nadia that were never addressed. Each letter was opened and Nadia read each and every one of them.

Including the one for Fury.

“We didn’t touch that one,” Steve had said as he held back a yawn. “If it’s anything like the others your brother wrote to the government, then…”

Nadia snapped her head up from the paper in her hands. “That’s it,” Nadia pulled all the letters written to government officials. She looked at all the names and they were all top officials. Then she read the one that Nikola wrote to Fury. She saw that the date was posted two days before his death. 

While Naida read it, she couldn’t contain the expressions on face. What Nikola wrote, it was horrifying and made her sick to her stomach. When she finished reading it, Nadia slammed the letter down and covered her face. 

“He was scared,” Naida finally said after a few minutes. “He thought someone was following him and that someone could be watching him and his computer. He discovered his letters being intercepted. He took a chance with this one thinking if he dropped it off at a random letter drop, you guys would step in and help. He even gave information on how to get into his computer remotely.”

Steve took a seat and pulled the letter towards him and read it over. “Do you think that there are top officials that know about this? Maybe they gave the order to kill your brother?” 

“It’s possible, did you try his computer?”

Steve’s blue eyes looked deep into Naida’s. “It was blank. We got into it but it looked like whoever this group is, they wiped it clean.”

Nadia laughed a little too hard that had Steve’s head tilting sideways. “Nik was clever at hiding things. So was I. Let me see it.”

For the next hour, Nadia worked at getting into Nikola’s computer. When she finally got in, she just about cheered. “Nik, you son of a bitch, that was tough.” Nadia looked up and saw that Steve was drifting off. “Steve,” Nadia’s voice startled him awake. “We can do this later tonight, but I got in. I emailed files to myself just in case this thing crashes. It’s pretty slow.” 

Before Steve could say anything, from the corner of Naida’s eye, she saw the entire computer start to spark and smoke. Steve jumped up and pulled the computer away from Nadia and chucked it out the open window. 

Nadia was horrified. Not by Steve throwing the computer, but the computer itself just catching fire. She didn’t know what to say while she stared at Steve. Nadia knew that Steve was asking those same questions as she was in her own head. What could she have done to make Nikola’s computer start to fry itself?

Then her phone rang.

“Agent Alekiev?” She answered not recognizing the number on the screen.

“Ah, Nadie,” Timothy Ketch’s voice rang in her ears once more. Her stomach dropped and looked at Steve. He nodded his head and Nadia switched the phone to speaker. 

“What do you want, Timothy?” Nadia asked more harshly than she anticipated. “How did you even get this number?”

Timothy chuckled and it made Nadia even more heated. “Nadie, I have my ways. Now,” Naida could picture that cocky smile she hated. “Why don’t you listen to me for once and back away from this. Or we would be forced to kill you as well.”

Steve took the phone from Nadia’s hand. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Well, in that case, you and that team of your have made the list.” Then he hung up. 

“I’m sorry,” Nadia whispered. “I feel like this is my fault.”

“Don’t ever be sorry,” Steve handed Nadia her phone back. “Your brother died doing what he knew was right. He’s a hero. Now,” Steve held back a big yawn but failed. “I’m going to get some shut eye. We can get at this tomorrow.”

[ourplaceinthecosmosphff]

Chapter 4. Him

‘be gentle my little thunderstorm, the world is just not ready.’ a.j. lawless

The day we had tea with the Cambridges ended the same way many before: with Lourdes sending a video of her ice skating routine asking for my opinion; that time I didn’t even pretend to see it. I ignored the text and tried to sleep. 

Louis barged into the room soon after.

“Will you stop ignoring our sister?”, he asked, rudely. “She notices, Maggie. And it’s really unfair.”

“Okay.” I said. “Goodnight.”

I heard him sigh, and nothing else. No steps out of the room, no creaky Clarence House door closing, no light down. Finally, I pushed away the cover and sat up.

“I can’t do this now, Louis. I have a headache.”

I’d come up with the headache excuse in order to skip dinner with the Prince of Wales and his wife, but my brother knew that excuse better than anyone. 

After leaving the Cambridges, we had gone back to Clarence House, where we were hosted for the trip, and changed into black attire for a military ceremony in town where I managed to avoid my brother to try and focus on being less upset. He wasn’t about to make it easy for me, though.

At one point, Harry came to stay in line with us as my father and Prince Charles received the compliments from the officials. He gave me that look of his I was now coming to identify as a signature look, one with more intentions than verbalized; one with more feeling than was allowed. 

“Nice dress.” He said. Leaning in close enough that only I could hear him, close enough that his lips brushed my hair and couldn’t be read by prying reporters, he added, “The person wearing it is prettier.”

It took all in me to contain an eyeroll, but the amused smile in my lips was impossible to hold back. Just as I felt my cheeks redden, Louis joined in.

“It’s probably our mother’s. The shoes definitely are.”

It wasn’t a dig for the untrained ears. My mother, in all ways, was more stylish and beautiful than a woman her age should be allowed to be. But knowing my brother for all the twenty-two years he’d been on this earth, I knew very well how to distinguish his honest compliments to his sarcastic ones.

Still, the moment passed, and I maintained the posture expected of me. Coming home, however, I had to tell my father I had a headache so I could come right upstairs before dinner, or else I might lose it in public. 

I had a nice, warm shower, put on my softest fleece pajamas, and brushed my hair while talking to my friend Constance on the phone about our other friend Stella and her terrible taste in men, allowing it to distract me from my brother and wild, unruly thoughts of Harry. 

After that, I got under the blankets and prepared to stare at funny pictures on pinterest - an app I had a fake, incognito account on - until sleep took over. I promptly ignored my sister’s text, as I was known to do, and not ten minutes later Louis barged into the room.

I finally heard the door close, and was overtaken by a familiar struggle against tears, but before I could decide if I should succumb to it, the mattress dipped as my brother climbed onto bed with me. A few seconds went by in silence before he finally broke it.

“Look. Maggie. I… I was talking to Will earlier.”

“Prince William?”

“Oui. I guess I just… I didn’t realize- of course I knew you were helping a lot back home. I just didn’t think it bothered you so much.”

I took it in; he was… almost apologizing.

“Well, now you know.”

“Yes, I do. And, I don’t know, I just…”

I pushed the blankets down and sat up, still not looking over at him, but allowing myself to be in the moment as well.

“I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy.”

I sighed, and finally looked over at him. 

My brother didn’t look too young or old, he had that odd quality of looking precisely his age. He had a light stubble growing around his thin, pointy jaw; it was the same color as his hair, blonde, which was now growing almost to his ears. It waved about, framing his eyes, a nice, dark blue shade just like mine - Lourdes had them too, all three of us had inherited them from our mother. The blonde hair we got from dad’s side of the family, as well as an unwavering determination.

“I’m not unhappy, Lou. I just… I could be happier, I suppose.”

He nodded. “And I want you to be.”

Letting out a long breath, I attempted to also let go of the anger, and focus on what I knew for sure about Louis.

He had the biggest heart of anyone I knew. No matter the signs, or how often he was told of the contrary, Louis was always decided to give people the benefit of the doubt. It was a trait we got from our mother, too, and I wasn’t sure what had made me slightly more cynical than him in this aspect, but I suspected it happened somewhere in Law School.

Louis wanted people to be happy, to excel. He wanted laughter and adventure and success for every person that crossed his path. I knew for a fact there was no way he would ever really wish the contrary, on anyone. I knew something else, too, something much more important.

I knew exactly why he was afraid to come home.

“I know you’re trying to figure things out.” I told him. “I don’t blame you. I know it’s tough.”

He nodded, slowly, and took in a deep breath. When he spoke, his voice was wavering; barely a whisper.

“I’m not, though. Not anymore. I think you know that. I haven’t been figuring things out anymore. I’ve known, really known, for a while now.”

All thoughts of the fight forgotten, I felt my heart tighten on my chest. I looked at my little brother, shrunk down and resolute, sitting by my side in bed. He was staring off into the room, but I knew, somehow, he was perfectly aware of my every move.

“You’re sure?” My whisper matched his. I presumed my fear did too.

He sighed, gulped, and shut his eyes tight, before opening them again and smiling at me, scared.

“I’m in love with him.”

The words were new, but the sentiment wasn’t; Louis was fifteen the first time he told me he thought he might be gay. I remembered the day as if I had been replaying it in my mind at least once a month ever since, because it was accurate. 

It was summer; I was almost eighteen, fresh out of my secondary school graduation, but still a few weeks before my adult future. We had been spending summer with our grandparents at the place they lived after my grandfather abdicated as king, Haydell Castle, in the east coast of Savoy. The Castle sat on a hill overlooking the Atlantic, and Louis, myself and Lourdes would go to the beach most afternoons to play volleyball and tan. One late afternoon, Lourdes was applying finishing touches to a sandcastle she’d spent hours working on. Louis had been helping, but left her to get some water from the cooler near where I was laying, struggling to read a book on the darkening light of the fast approaching sunset. 

He sat down by my side with a thud, drank half a bottle of water as I complained about the sand he’d inadvertently thrown my way, and then, without looking at me, said, “I think I have a crush on a classmate.”

Louis went to an all-boys boarding school. The boy in question was a very handsome senior, with kind eyes and handsome dimples. My brother spent a while telling me about how he liked sports and theater and wanted to backpack through South America after school. Then we spent the rest of the summer brainstorming what this could mean.

Monarchies weren’t built on diversity. The core of the system our family was built on was genetics and catholicism, two elements that were famously not very lenient. The Royal Family of Savoy had branched out from the French Royal Family many generations ago. Though we prided ourselves, then and now, that we were different, we still inherited some very big elements from them. A few tiaras, a few titles, and Catholicism. Though Savoy had freedom of religion, the monarchy’s official creed was still Catholicism. It was involved in most of our protocols and traditions, a king couldn’t even be crowned if he hadn’t been baptised in the church. 

The idea of a gay, catholic King of Savoy was ludicrous even to us, no matter how much we wished it wasn’t.

And then, there was the issue of the line of succession. Say the church and country allowed my brother to reign as an out gay man, say they allowed him to marry a man in the Catholic church, say they allowed him to be crowned as king with a prince consort… It would be his duty to secure the line of succession; a king’s job is to produce a child to be the next king whose child will be next after him, and so on. Though it was the 21st century, there was no precedent to a king’s heir being anything other than his own, biologic child. And even as we tried to consider the idea of my brother having one with an egg donor, using a surrogate, we immediately knew what that would mean: whoever this woman was, her privacy would never be respected. People would want to know everything about her. 

As to adopting, what were his options? In what world would the press not hunt down every possible information about the child’s biological family? Interview every distant relative for money? Come up with every way to embarrass them for clicks on an article? How could that child possibly be raised to be king with that kind of scrutiny surrounding them? 

I thought of it as we sat in silence. He loved Peter. Peter loved him. And yes, they were young and that might change, but Louis being gay wouldn’t. Louis wanting to be a father was unlikely to change. But there was no precedent for a king to have an adopted child as an heir, and having a biological child through surrogate would be too hard on a surrogate and her family, being harassed and forever linked to us. If he sacrificed his own wishes and decided not to have children in order to spare them, then me or my children would have to inherit, which to me was simply unthinkable.

“They’re not going to cut you out.” I told him. “You know mom and dad, they love you. They love us. It might be hard dealing with everyone else, but they’ll always support you.”

He gulped. “The thing is… they might love me, but that’s not enough to change centuries of tradition just so I can-”

“Be who you are!”

He was silent, pulling on a lose thread on the blanket.

“I suppose I could just do what they did back in the day.” He considered. “Marry some poor, naive girl, sleep with her just enough to produce an heir and make Peter my secretary so we can carry out a scandalous and secret affair.”

I gave him a sarcastic look, and he rolled his eyes.

“I’m kidding.” He started biting a nail. “I could just… not have children.”

“You want children.”

“...yeah.”

“We’ll think of something.” I told him, confidently. “It’ll be easier once mom and dad know. They’ll figure something out. They’re good at this. They’re not going to make you keep this a secret, they love you too much.”

He sighed. “It would be easier for me to abdicate.”

“That’s not happening!”

“Why?! Because you can’t fathom the idea of having to inherit?! You think it’s okay to put me or my children through hell so you can hold on to your comfort? Who’s being selfish now?!”

I stared at him, mouth agape.

“That’s not fair.” I wasn’t even sure the words had come out, so low was my volume and so loud my shock.

He reached out and held my hand in his, leaning over to lay his head on my shoulder.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

I laid my cheek against his hair, holding his hand tightly. 

The worst part was knowing he was right. As unfair as it was, the easiest path was for him to come out and simply not have kids. But I didn’t want the headache of figuring out how to raise children to inherit after him, or worse yet, to have to be the heir if he was made to abdicate. It was such a colossal thought I couldn’t even think of it too much without feeling a panic attack creeping in.

He was 22. My little brother shouldn’t even be concerned about children at this age. And yet, because of the backwards traditions we were embroiled in from birth, he had no choice, and all our lives depended on how accepting the world would be of who he was.

“Hey.” I called, and he raised his head to look at me. “We will figure it out. I promise.” 

His smile was so small it broke my heart even more. He didn’t say anything, though. He just nodded, slowly, and stared at his hands.

“I love Peter.” I said, tentatively. I had said it before, but it carried a different weight now. Louis’ smile grew. 

“I want to introduce him to Lou. She didn’t come that time you met him, I think they’ll get along.”

I bumped my shoulder to his. “Just tell him to compliment her skating, she’ll love him.”

He chuckled, then looked at me very seriously. “Speaking of our sister, you could be more patient with her, you know?”

I sighed. “I am.”

“No, you’re not. Patient would be watching her videos and offering useful advice.”

“You’re asking too much.”

“I can do it, so can you! You think I care about ice skating?”

“Kinda.”

“Well… okay, I do. But they wear really sparkly dresses. Honestly, Maggie, she just wants to make you proud.”

“I don’t…!” I sighed, “I don’t really know how to talk to her, sometimes. I only had a couple of years with her before going to boarding school, you at least got to see her more often.”

He fished into his pockets, found his phone and opened the messaging app. I watched him create a group, add both me and Lourdes to it, name it ‘Louis’ Girl Gang’, and send the message, ‘this way it’s easier to chat!’.

“This way you can just watch how I interact with her and mimic.” He said. “Just react like me and soon you’ll be able to do it yourself.”

I opened my phone and replied, ‘this chat name is ridiculous’.

“Ouch.” He said, emotionless.

I gave him a dirty look, and we laughed. Both our phones buzzed at the same time with Lourdes’ reply, the first of many.

‘yay i love this! miss u guys!��

I smiled. She was too sweet for her own good. 

I had no idea what the future held for us, but I knew with one hundred percent certainty I loved every single atom of my siblings.

---- ---- ----

The drive to the polo club the following morning - our last one in Britain - wasn’t long, but we had to leave early enough that I had to do my makeup in the car. Did I need makeup to play polo? No. But would the press comment on how ‘tired’ I looked if I didn’t? Yes, so shaky hands on a tiny mirror it was.

Harry and William were already at the club when we got there; we were introduced to the horses we were using that morning, and the rest of the people who would be playing. There was a small breakfast laid out, with mimosas and champagne flutes, which we ate as we made some small talk and got to know everyone. 

“So,” Harry started, finding me alone by the water jugs.

“So.” I replied.

“I’ve been doing some googling.” 

“Yes?”

He sighed. “And I cannot, for the life of me, figure out when we may have met.”

“Oh.” I smiled.

I had started to think he’d forgotten it, or worse, simply didn’t care. But apparently he did. He cared enough to look it up.

The thought felt… oddly warm.

“I asked my people. And then I asked my people to ask your people, who weren’t able, or willing, to come up with an answer. So I do not know, for the life of me, when we may have met before two days ago.”

I nodded, smiling slightly. “Your efforts are noted.”

“Look, I feel like a jerk.” He sighed. “I’m sure I would remember you if we met before. You have a face a guy would remember.”

I swallowed the electric shock that line sent through me. “Apparently not.”

“Give me a hint. Was it here or in Savoy? Or another country? Day or night? Was it more than a year ago?”

I looked at him, brows raised. “It was in another country, during the day, more than a year ago.”

He nodded, attentive, scratching his beard. Then, he sighed dramatically. “God, I have no idea!”

“So you give up?”

He grinned. “Is that a challenge?”

“No. It’s a question.”

He stared into my eyes for a beat, as his smile grew.

“No, I don’t give up. I’ll figure it out.”

I nodded, silently, holding his stare.

I suddenly realized I didn’t have a plan. I hadn’t planned on making this a big deal, but now when I eventually had to tell him, we would both be faced with a story that wasn’t as interesting or sexy as we had made it sound.

“So, what are we thinking?!” My brother interrupted, joining us with William. “Heirs against spares?”

“What, and lose the chance to massacrate Harry on the field?” I challenged, as the ginger looked at me, mouth agape.

“Nice! I love the sentiment, Margueritte!” William cheered. “She’s on my team, dibs on Margueritte!”

“Excuse me, I believe I already have dibs on Mary.” Harry interjected, making his brother laugh.

The line was so unapologetically flirty I felt my jaw drop as I looked around. We were at a tent in the back, where the players were getting ready before being sorted into teams. There was no press around, but there was a lot of people who hadn’t signed NDAs or anything.

Louis was squinting at Harry with a mischievous grin on his lips. “Excuse me, are you flirting with my sister?”

I felt my stomach twirl in anxiety, and tried to give him a warning look, but before I could, Harry answered.

“I’ve been trying to, for the past three days.”

He was smiling at me now, again so unapologetically it felt as if I had lost all ability to function. William was watching the whole thing with an amused look on his eyes.

Louis’ grin grew into a smile, as he slowly moved his eyes from Harry to me, “Huh.”

“Is that a problem?”, Harry asked my brother.

“For me? No!” He assured him, “For you? Well…”

“She hasn’t exactly made it easy for me.”

“Sounds like her.”

“Louis-Adolphe!” I admonized, earning from him a roll of his eyes.

“Don’t use both my names as if you’re mom.”

William laughed.

“Any tips?” Harry asked Louis, very seriously, but looking at me as if studying an animal on the wild.

“Hm,” my brother considered him, “Patience. Her only relationship was with a family friend we’ve known all our lives, and that took forever.”

“Lou!” I warned, again.

“What?! It’s not like he can’t google you.” He shrugged.

“Okay.” I said, before turning on my heels to exit the tent.

I made myself busy elsewhere, but couldn’t keep my mind straight. My heart was racing and I couldn’t tell if the reason was Louis’ teasing or Harry’s unabashed flirting, or both. Before I knew it, though, we were stretching as a group, and getting our uniforms on; I did stay on William’s team, while Harry and Louis played together. 

He found me as we made our way into the field, while I was busy trying to tie the upper half of my hair on a low ponytail.

“Have I told you you look fantastic today, Mary?”

“No, but I’m sure you’ll remedy that as soon as possible.”

“You look fantastic, Mary. White pants suit you.”

Harry’s eyes hovered down my body over my form-fitting white jeans under the black riding boots.

“Thank you.” I said, curt, and paced faster to my horse, starting to fasten the girth to adjust the saddle.

“...I’m sorry.”

I stopped, and looked back at him, only half surprised he was still there. A little more than half surprised by the genuine fear and sadness in his eyes. 

“Oh. For?”

He grimaced. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable before, when I was talking to your brother. I was just… trying to lighten the mood. Be, you know, funny I guess.”

I gulped; funny?

“Right. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” I resumed my work on the horse’s saddle.

I even added a short smile to go with the lie, but it didn’t seem to convince him.

“Really, I didn’t want to upset you.”

“Why would I be upset?”

He took a quick step closer and wrapped my hand in his; I felt my breath caught in my throat as I noticed how big they were, his knuckles were protuberant, his veins popped against his pale skin. In a dark corner in my mind I wondered what hands like those might feel like on my body.

“Mary.” He whispered, softly; I gulped, not daring to meet his gaze. 

“Marie.” I whispered back.

He sighed. “Marie. If you want me to stop, and just… be your friend, or even just a polite acquaintance…” 

He allowed the end of his sentence to hang in the air, ominous; It felt horrifying, specially hearing him call me my actual name. It made me look back at him, meeting his eyes a lot closer than I thought they would be.

“...all you gotta do is say so.” He finished, finally. 

The offer sounded awfully simple for a feat that sounded amazingly difficult, though I couldn’t understand why. He was being so annoying, so infuriating for the past three days. It would be so easy to tell him to back off, if only it weren’t for that little part of my heart that was trying to tell me he wasn’t that annoying. And really, wasn’t the only frustrating thing about it that we had had so little time together? After all, his hand was still on mine, and it did feel like my whole body was warmer than the British sun on that morning warranted.

“What’s this?” I asked.

As I looked back to his hands, I noticed once more that he had something written in them. He turned his palm towards me, while the back of his hand still rested in mine.

“This says ‘call Gil’, it’s the manager of my foundation in Lesotho. I have to get back to him about something. And this other line says ‘figure out trip’. It’s my mate’s birthday next month and the lads asked me to figure out how we can organize a hunting trip for him.”

As he explained his little reminder list on his palm, I traced it with the tips of my fingers lightly. After I ran out of the ink to trace, I started tracing the lines in his palm, very slowly.

“Bad memory?” I teased.

He sighed, “The worst. Well, not about important things. I remember important things. But names of people I met only a couple times, but should definitely know? Nope. And the deadline to things I have to do? Even worse. Hence the writing in hand.”

“Have you tried setting alarms on your phone?”

“I barely know how to make calls.” He rolled his eyes.

“Drama queen!”

“I’m serious! We’re not allowed to use social media, so really what’s there to do? I just don’t use it much.”

“God, it’s like you’re 80.”

He chuckled, and his hand closed on reflex over mine. Now it was almost as if we were holding hands. The thought, the warmth of his skin on mine, sent a shock wave through my body.

“Come on, Harry, no flirting with the competition!” Louis called out as he rode by.

We chuckled, timidly.

“Things seem better, with Louis.” He commented. 

I smiled. “We talked.”

“Did he understand?”

I nodded. “Yes. He’s got a good heart. He’s young, but he’d never willingly do something to hurt anyone. It’s just…” I sighed, giving him a side glance. “He’s got… some stuff to figure out. And I wanna help as much as I can. I just… Can’t sacrifice myself for it. And I think he gets it.”

There was a pause, a more comfortable one this time, and next time he spoke, he had a whisper of a smile on his lips.

“You didn’t ask me to stop.” He whispered. I looked at him. 

“I guess I didn’t.”

We exchanged a smile, and just as I felt my cheeks redden at the long pause, his brother rode by already on his horse.

“Stop flirting with my player, Harry, get to your horse!”

We jumped, startled, but chuckled timidly as he rode away.

“So, how confident are you that you’re going to beat me?”, he asked.

“Oh, only about 89%.”

“Oh, is that all?”

“Ninety-six, tops.”

He nodded, amused. “Care to make it interesting?”

“What are you thinking?”

“Loser buys dinner.”

I bit my inner lip to contain a smile. It almost sounded like he was asking me on a date. Was he asking me out on a date?

“I… I have to leave tomorrow morning.”

“Well, Savoy is, what? Four or five hours away by train?”

“Another one and a half to the city where I live.”

He nodded, then shrugged. “I can do that. What do you say?”

I placed a foot on the stirrup, and jumped up to take my seat on the saddle.

“Win first, Your Royal Highness. Then we’ll talk.”

“Game on, Mary.”

--- ---- ---

[A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!!! please let me know if you like it? I’m open to notes, suggestions, all of it =) just liking this chapter would really help me know!

I don’t know how to say this without spoiling a big plot point in the story, but to be fair it is sort of the main premise, so if you’d like not to be spoiled on plot points, maybe come back later? Cool. Let’s get to it.

When I first started writing this story, I hadn’t intended on Margueritte’s brother, Louis, to be such a big character. I expected his time with us would be… well, shorter, after all the main idea for this story starts with his - again, spoiler alert - death. But as I wrote a little of him, I I liked him so much, and I ended up writing more and more and soon it was really heartbreaking killing him. As you’ll soon find, Louis fits into a trope I didn’t intentionally set out to write: the kill your gays trope. I don’t want to go into details because that’s enough spoilers, but suffice to say mea culpa, and also I hope you’ll give me a chance to show I do have a bigger intention with this: one, monarchies are famously heteronormative. They essentially can’t survive otherwise, or so we are told. I have always wandered about this. We’ve all read the historical examples of homosexuality being swiftly repressed for the good of the succession line. As a modern royal, Margueritte will have to look this issue in the eyes, too. She’ll have to realize the role she plays in a system where for her family and its history to survive, some families cannot exist in their purest form, and she will struggle with not being able to tell the world the truth about her brother - since it is not her place - knowing this makes her an accomplice in rewriting history to fit her best purpose. 

Which choices she makes and which path she decided to take in this issue are something I’m excited to explore, as I honestly believe monarchies will have to have a solution for this at one point or another.

TL/DR: though this story adds to the kill your gays trope, which I know it’s problematic, I want to write about the way monarchies perpetuate heteronormativity and how they will have to find a way for all their members, regardless of sexuality or gender identity, to feel at home in the institution, and I intend to add more non-straight characters so delve into this issue.]

[popculturebuffet]

Jake Reviewcaps Stuff: Amphibia: Truck Stop Polly/A Caravan Named Desire

A day two days late but no dollars short, we reach the middle of the Plantar family vacation. Polly super runs away from home after feeling negelcted and gets a neat trucker hat while Hop Pop is forced to choose between his love of theater and aiding and abetting, Sprig tries to fit in with the cool kids and Anne tries to just finish her damn Koala puzzle already. The show must go on under the cut

Okay first why this was late... I had a LOTTT of cleaning to do for a vistor coming to the house, so while I did get the episode watched I didn’t have time to write about it till today.. ironically hours before my sister from another mister is having her wedding,  a small one in her backyard with all the food pre-packaged, but still it’s obviously a lot .. and yes this has been going through my head. 

Point is life’s been busy, this isn’t the first thing to get delayed, but I do want to try to get these out on saturday at least.  Second.. these eps faced an uphill battle.. see like the Lost Harp of Mirvana during my ducktales coverage earlier this year, this is what seems like an average ep from the summaries given out by disney.. right before a stream of far more important and intresting ones.  For this one it’s two fairly standard eps.. right before another fairly standard one.. that then leads into finding out both what Sasha’s doing and presumibly, why she’s still on the bad guy side like the intro suggests or if the intro is just lying. We won’t know till next week. And to make matters worse after that we have Kermit the frog’s episode.. as in kermit doing voice work not whoever his voice actor is now just doing a diffrent voice. And i’m so glad disney is continuing this beautifully insane idea that started when Fozzy voiced a character on Big City Greens. See this is good quality use of your muppets. Hopefully muppets now will keep this up later this week. Anyways paired with Kermit is the long awaited gravity falls homage “Wax Museum” with Alex Hirsch himself doing both stan stand in, a stan-in if you will, teh curator and frog soos. Which is the greatest name in Disney history since Sharkbomb. Oh and THEN, we finally get to newtopia and finally meet marcie.. and if that weren’t enough, the newt king is voiced by keith motherfucking david, disney royalty as voice of Goliath in Gargoyles (Which I really need to get off my ass and watch already, I have no excuse for taking this long. At least with Darkwing Duck the absolutley baffling airing order that isn’t disney plus’ fault for once but they scould still fix is a mild one.. if not enough of one) and Dr. Facilier in “The Princess and the Frog”, in which he sang one of the best villian songs in the disney canon. Never fails to kill me. He also should’ve been sexist man alive by now but fuck if I know why he hasn’t been.. even at 64 he’s still in the running and I will not back away from that sentence. That man can get it and his wife is a very lucky woman. SO yeah, Sasha, Kermit, Frog Soos, and then a one two punch of Marcy and keith fucking david, followed by i’m assuming a good helping of world building in newtopia and i’m not assuming thanks to the episode summaries including guest voices even MORE Keith David. So yeah like Mervana proceding Fenton and Boyd and then Daisy! an episode i’d been waiting for since last year’s comiccon, and was not disapointed by, this episode is before a giant pile of stuff i’ve been waiting for plus a thing I had no idea was coming with Keith David. And this show isn’t alone: next week’s owl house is another king episode about him making a big style wish that goes wacky.. right before we get Willow and Amity’s backstory, then the episode where hopefully the gays will win. This isn’t a new thing and will doubtfully occur again but like with Mirvana I gave these eps a fair shake. How did they shake out with the added pressure? let’s find out.

Truck Stop Polly

We start in the Wagon, or Fwagon as the family calls it but i’m not because no. Just no. Plus there isn’t a catchy song for caulking your Fwagon sung by the talented, and recently engaged congradulations Joey and Lauren now that was the kind of news I needed this week, Joey Richter. 

But no Bessie isn’t being caulked down for glue, Sprig and Anne are driving the wagon, Hop Pop is asleep, as he probably hasn’t slept and Polly.. isn’t doing so good. She’s clearly missing home seeing Miss Croaker.. onlyt o find a rock.. and then because this is Amphibia some kind of nightmare that reminds me of a baby xenomorph. Anyways the reason Polly ain’t doing so good is well she’s like.. 5, on a scary trail with no one to comfort her, and none of the old comforts of home to help her forget her very likely death before she’s even big enough to rip a man’s heart out with her bear hands. I mean that’s been in her 7th birthday plans for like, forever. She TRIES to replicate old things, first trying for story time.. which fails because while Hop Pop tries, he can’t stay awake because he apparently, as the episode will prove out, hasin’t heard of caffine, while trying to get her older siblings to read to her just gets them and her in trouble when she gets bessie ran into something and Polly’s attempt at bath time afterword just floods everyone out. Thankfully while the episode does go with the “Character tries things multiple times and is destined to fail” thing, something i’ve seen a lottt in animation and as i’ve made clear in my handful of loud hosue reviews i’m not a big fan of it... but it works well here. It takes up only a portion of the episode and is used well. Nuff said. But it’s with the aftermath where things really start to shine and we really get why this episode works: Polly messed up bad yes.. but she’s also , again 5. Her family just sorta forgot that 5 year olds need a lot of attention because this is one who probably has ripped a man’s heart out... the bear hands thing is more just because it’s cooler that way. But Polly isn’t really thinking about anyone else but herself and this episode reveals a problem polly has: She puts up such a tough front she has trouble  opening up.. which makes sense. Polly wants to be taken seriously, as seen with the inn episode last season, and likely feels acting her age will just get them to stop doing that.. but as we saw there while she’s utterly capable in a crisis.. she’s still a small child, it’s still scary and she needs what all little kids need as much as she needs a freshly ripped out heart with breakfast. But what really makes the scene is, as Polly hides, Hop Pop loudly and crushingly for the poor tadpole, outright wonders if they should’ve just left her with Ms. Croaker. And yeah this is a .. hard thing to hear.  That her only parental figure regrets bringing her and feels he woudl’ve been better leaving her away from her family for what’s at the very least a month and will defintely be longer.. and not just because of future episode synopisis. And if they succeed with anne.. one of them wouldn’t be coming back. She’d miss telling her big sister good bye and that’s a LOT to take away from her and probably explains,besides Polly being badass, why they still took her: She may never see Anne again. And if Anne can’t get home, she wouldn’t of b een there for her. Polly tears up and it’s a ROUGH scene. But what really makes this scene already amazing work.. is the immdite followup. Sprig and Anne are both shocked by this and Anne , in typical “the character only heard the bad part” fashion, and as Della has proven even full grown adults aren’t immune to this so don’t feel too bad polly, asks if he really meant that. And he didn’t. It’s what makes the scene work so hopping good: it’s realistic. We’ve all had moments where a parent, a friend,  or even ourselves has just said something, something hurtful, or yelled or screamed or what have you at osmeone without meaning it.. and sometimes you can’t take that back. But we’ve all been pushed to the limit, stressed or tired or upset and just.. snapped and said something terrible. And it’s this realness that really makes it worse. Hop Pop explains he’s just exausted.. which makes sense. He has trouble deligating, being utterly terrified of Anne and Sprig taking up watch duty, and has probably been driving without sleep for a week at the LEAST given the trip’s been said to have gone on longer than planned. So he’s not in any good shape, and Anne and Sprig do consider she had her reasons. Anne does give Hop Pop coffee for the first time, which perks him right up. Polly however is still hurting and decides to use 5 year old logic and leave a fake, a convient purple ball she find sthat she dresses up with a sleep mask and her bow, and figures once they find out she’s not there, they’ll feel bad and come back. it’s a short sighted plan but we’ve all probably thought of something like this at her age. I once ran away from home carrying among things i’ve forgotten by cyclops helpmet from the x-men.. must’ve been from the 80′s as by the 90′s he let his hair out. Wish I still had that thing or at least a cyclops visor. Love that guy. This naturally backfires as while Sprig and Anne try talking to polly, Sprig thinks she’s alseep and warns anne never to wake her.. never... how.. how many stabbings did she give you before that sunk in man? Are you okay sprig? Polly naturally freaks the fuck out upon thinking her family abandoned her, but vows to start a new life.. with flapjacks and more story times. She dosen’t know anybody.. cue swampy joe from last season. A welcome return, horay! Anyways Swampy naturally not leaving a child to die because this is amphibia and not an average night in Monkey D Luffy’s childhood, and also gets her a sweet trucker hat off screen. I assume she put it on exactly like this. Polly gripes about the situation.. but in a refreshing and suprising, to both me and polly, change of pace we don’t get them agreeing or her getting a new life: The Truckers point out the main issue: She’s homesick, and she’s trying desperatley to seek comfort in old rituals without adapting to the fact that some simply don’t work as well in their new situation or taking the fact her family is busy and this is stressful for them too into account. It’s also a nice moral for thes quarantine times; sometimes you can’t get normal back easily, and have to adapt and you have to consider others feelings as hard as it might be. They also peg her being so hardned on the outsdie she dosen’t let things in and again while this is new.. it does track. We’ve rarely seen polly upset, or vunerable or any of that.. so this simply makes it a character trait.. that part of why she rarely acts like the 5 year old she is is she’s scared of letting people in and loosing what ground she’s gained with Hop Pop. As for why their so wise it’s because when your alone driving for miles on the open road you have nothing but self improvment.. and in a great bit the lone female trucker among them got her PhD, and celebrates with her friend with a high tounge. Of course bigger problems arrive. Turns out taking some random object you found without checking for a zany scheme isn’t wise as a man comes in wondering where his roc’s egg went.. roc’s bein ga type of bird.. a giant bird. That kills the first frog it sees upon hatching, like imprinting only more horrifying.. so like the twilight version of imprinting then. And yes i’m aware i’m bashing twilight still, and while I largely don’t care, having an 18 year old man romantically imprint on a baby, rapid aging or no, is fucking creepy and not a good ending for the character. And yes that actually happened. Polly gets Soggy Joe, now speedy joe complete with hat and yes you need to call him that Polly finds out, to give her a lift back home. Meanwhile back home, Anne decides to read to polly anyway. I mean she just watched her sorta girlfriend sacrifice herself and then get carted off by the scary asshole who wanted to presumibly put her grandpa’s head on a spike outside his tower as a warning. Polly stabbing her a few times dosen’t really stack up. But she discovers she’s not there and gives out a code purple.. which ges the rest of the family right on time. Polly and Joe catch up with them and find the roc emerging out of the caravan and everyone fighting. Thankfully polly static clings on Joe’s fringe seats, which Joe grumbles about, and builds up the static before having him fast ball special her into the bird, which beats it. Polly takes credit for about five seconds.. before Hop Pop uses her full name as he’s pissed.. not about the giant death bird, a giant bird trying to murder you seconds after birth is just an average tuesday on this hell planet.. though i’d still trade it for our hell planet if they could get streaming down. No like any good parent he’s upset she ran away.. and devistated when Polly tears up and reveals she heard his whole thing earlier, with Hop Pop gently apologizing and explaning he took just how grown up she is for granted, with the Anne and Sprig naturally agreeing and the four hug. I do wish Polly apologized.. but it still works anyway as she’s still 5, she does feel bad about it, and she did just save their lives. The episode would’ve been slightly better with it but works fine. Soggy Joe offers to tow them, because he’s a class act, and Hop Pop decides to have storytime with everyone.. Anne points out she’s 13 but eh why not. Also I did like getting conformation how old she is as before it was just conjecture by me that she was 13 or 14. For the record as you can tell I peg polly as five, Sprig as 9 or 10, and Hop Pop as me shrugging. Also Polly’s normal story is a gritty noir story about a man trying to murder his wife’s killer.. which is funny enough and explains a lot about polly enough.. until we get a POP UP BOOK POP UP OF A HAND HOLDING A KNIFE. Just.. (Chef’s kiss) my god. Of course Anne loves it. 

Final Thoughts for this Episode:  A really good one, that has  a lot of intresting dynamics and remembered Polly’s age without overwriting her character.. it still felt in character and was a nice reminder she’s still a young child, just one that can Volt Tackle large birds and who likes noir revenge quests as her bed time story. It added some more depth to Polly and it was something she really needed, giving her a vunerable side again and expanding on that. The first third does drag a bit.. but once the episode gets going it gets really fucking excellent.. while “child feels neglected and runs away” isn’t a new story, it works here both due to it’s realism, giant muder bird, or birderer if you will, non-withstanding, and due to being rooted in the Plantar’s characters.  It’s damn good and like Mirvana was a nice suprise of an episode. 

A Caravan Named Desire Suprisie a wedding is exausting and not only did I have to abandon finishing this review to get ready for it, but was too tired to actually finish this when I got home.  Aw well. Let’s keep it going. 

We open as our heroes are about to enter the thirsty swamp, another desert region, but this time more deserty. Anne scoffs at needing hydration.. before a cut to her utterly dehydrated and pouring the canteen on herself.. which she pulled up including sprig who gives out a whee. As adorable as it is chuckle worthy. Hop Pop is worried because as his faviorite plays says the area is full of terrible monsters and bandits.. and the kids groan because he’s clealry talked about this play a lot. As it turned out Hop Pop always wanted to be an actor, but gave it up.. and this is where I feel the episode missed some good character stuff: We never find out a lot about Hop Pop at that age: why he wanted to buck tradiition when why by present day he’s nothing but tradition, or why he gave up after one failed audition.. it’s not a bad episode, but I feel we missed out on an opprutnity to learn more about Hop Pop’s past, an area the show really hasn’t dug into apart from “He and sylvia were into each other once and he has a rvial and now he’s dating Sylvia for real this time so yay”. And speaking of which it is weird he hasn’t brought her up.. I mean he dosen’t have to miss his girlfriend every 5 minutes, that’d get fucking annoying , and the silver age fantastic four comics where Johnny storm would constantly pine for a girl he met for all of 5 minutes, carried over to the 90′s cartoon but toned down, are proof that’d be annoying. But it’s still just.. weird it hasn’t come up once so far.. we have a full season for it too, but it just feels like the show abrubtly left most of it’s supporting cast behind without asking how any of htem felt about Anne and the plantars leaving after spending a full season having them go from mildly tolerated to beloved by the town, especially Anne.  Anyways before Hop Pop can bring up his one time as Tony in the wartwood production of west side story, they have worm sign and soon a sandworm is chasing them because of course Amphibia has sand worms. Their thankfully saved by a mysterious woman and her caravan, Renee Frodgers, the writer of the play Hop Pop won’t shut up about and no one else cares about.. kind of like me with.. everything. Pretty much everything. But with auditions going on Hop Pop gladly follows Renee back into her office, while a nearbye actor kid offers to take the Plantar kids to the kids car. Sprig and Polly are entirely on board, but Anne’s answer?

Turns out when Anne was widdle, somewhere from 4 to 6, she was in a school play about dental hyginee as a tooth tripped.. and everything caught fire. “4 out of 5 detinsts say I was traumatized.”, a great line. So Anne’s noping out of this one and decides to instead work on her Kola’s of Passion jigsaw puzzle.. which if that’s for an animatied ripoff of titanic but with Kolas I will give all my money to see that.. well no I need that but I do have an unopened can of pringles on my desk and a penguins of madagascar dvd I got for free at a garage sale. Will that work? Please? So we have our two main plots and running gag: Sprig trying to fit in with the kids, hop pop living out his dreams and anne trying to finish a puzzle. And since the plots really don’t intersect till the last moment apart from one scene with Anne, i’ll be covering both seperatley.  Sprig’s plot is very simple: He wants the theater kids to like him, the lead actor treats him like crap, Polly gets accepted but is just sorta there htis episode outside of one great gag that we’ll get to in a moment, and eventually sprig just gets fed up and tells the guy off. It’s not all that enjoyable as I relate a bit too much to desperatley wanting to be liked in high school by people who were utter dicks.. and breifly in college online, so it brings back too many bad memories but hte punchline of sprig jumping back into frame in cosutme the minute he gets acceptance for telling the pissant off is priceless.  Now with that out of the way, back a few minutes ago Hop Pop tries auditioning but tries to hard and fails, and dosen’t get the part, in part because he has no experince but later storms back in and tells Renee off.. and that honest passion gets him the lead. And .. turns out Hop Pop is a master actor getting love from the masses and living out his dream. Again it’s where I wish we got more drive, more of his past. I don’t know why other than “I want to act” why Hop Pop wants this so bad or why it means so much. I know what he wants, paul, but not WHY he wants it. I do get time constraints.. but if that was the case.. why keep the sprig subplot? He could just be an extra or stage crew or making a puzzle with anne or some other shenanigan that required less screentime. I do REALLY like spirg, this season if nothing else has made me realize how good the character is, I just feel for this episode the other minutes could’ve gone better to set up Hop Pop’s love of acting and past better and give us more of how Hopidah went from a wannabe actor ready to leave tradition behind to someone who clings to it like something clingy. This episode isn’t bad but there’s more it could’ve done.  Anyways the good times, and the tour and if your curious the wagon is being stored somewhere on the caravan since they can’t safetly travel alone, end when Hop Pop walks in on Renee planning a heist. Now granted instead of the obvious of “oh their just theives’ the troop are legit actors, directors etc... the heists are because, much like on earth, no one supports the arts and they need money to keep going and keep putting on shows, hence Renee and her two goons rob the towns they visit during the more powerful moments of Hop Pop’s performance. And this is something like. While “Character wants to do something and ends up getting recruited by shady people for a scheme to do it” isn’t at all new, here it’s intresting because instead of being bad at it or the scheme being related to the heist or the normal twists.. Hop Pop is legit good, we even see a bit of his performance later and loved, instead of just being so bad it’s useful, and the theives aren’t just after money but keeping their art alive.  So Hop Pop is conflicted and turns to Anne.. and ruins her puzzle because of course he does, but while Anne tells him the obvious: Stealing is bad even to support our badly unfunded arts, otherwise modern artists would be pulling daring heists all the time.. seriously that should be a show, Hop Pop decides he’s such a godo actor he can convince himself nothing’s going on. Sprig comes in for his subplot and annoys anne further and also dosen’t listen to her and Polly.. just tells Anne she loves her with Anne screaming it back. It’s a great punchline to the scene and also really sweet. Aww.  So Hop Pop tries to get used to aiding and abetting but realizes during his big scene he just.. can’t turn his concsen off, outs renee then gets into a chase with her, with renee making hte mistake of detaching the front car to escape.. only to end up Worm food. She’ll make good spice at least.. I guess? I don’t know how Dune works. She’s arrested, and Hop Pop and family book it after the kids accidently spill he knew about the crime ahead of time and did nothing. The end. 

[kevintor]

I Watch a Movie I Should Have Seen: Hocus Pocus

I miss doing these entries. Mostly I miss adding movies to my watched list. Obviously, I’ve never seen Hocus Pocus. That’s why we’re here.

What did I know about Hocus Pocus? I knew there were witches and I knew Bette Midler had fun teeth. And she certainly did!

My thoughts:

We open on Salem in the 1600s following the shadow of a flying witch. The music was straight out of the Danny Elfman playbook but I guess they couldn’t get him so they found an equivalent Ray Parker, Jr. to Elfman’s Huey Lewis. (If you don’t know)

Pink smoke comes out of the chimney of the witch house which means someone’s gender reveal party resulted in a girl! Unfortunately they had to sacrifice a different little girl to find out.

The old-timey boy we meet is wearing a shirt that can only be described as billowy. He should take off like a kite when he runs. Yet somehow when he violently tumbles down a forest hill, none of that very excessive fabric gets caught on anything. Is the fabric even there or are we imagining it?

The witches (Sanderson Sisters) use a book made of human skin and a functioning eyeball. I shall call this book “Columbo.”

It’s very nice of them to put a mill wheel next to the witch house for the boy to climb.

Okay, so Bette Midler has lightning fingers like Emperor Palpatine.

I honestly thought the witches were going to be misunderstood and everyone would win at the end but killing a little girl for her youth and turning the boy into an immortal cat really puts a big wrench in the redemption arc chances.

The townspeople stage a hanging. The witches curse the town that they will return much like Pennywise only scarier.

We fast forward to find out that the opening is a story that is told in a Salem high school class where the kids apparently range in age from 14-28.

A new-to-town California boy (Max) doesn’t buy into all the witch lore. No mention on why his first day of school is Halloween. Parents did not plan that move well.

Max is into Allison, the pretty girl in school that leads with her teeth in every conversation. Did Rami Malek pull some his Freddy Mercury from her?

Max rides his bike home from school at super speed. He is either an exceptional mountain biking improviser or he practiced it the day before to be really ready for school. Probably the latter.

On his shortcut through the cemetery, he runs into two kids, Jay and Ice. Jay seems to be all the bad parts of Bill and Ted combined and Ice seems to be 40.

Jay and Ice take Max’s sneakers because that’s what bullies in the early 90s did. It makes pedaling home slower which may be for the best. He rode his bike too quickly.

Max does not like being here in Salem anymore. We learn this as he angrily takes off his hat, backpack, and jacket.

Max comforts himself by awkwardly hugging and cooing to his pillow pretending it’s Allison. His little sister, Dani, catches the awkwardness, gets on the bed, and simulates being Allison which is normal.

The house appears to have an unlimited number of stairs to climb up to get away in frustration.

Max reluctantly takes his sister trick-or-treating. He has the appropriate level of older brother standoffishness.

Jay and Ice stop the sister asking for her candy. Max gives the candy to the bullies and she tells him he should have been a man and fought them. Again one of them is like 40.

Max makes up with her using a pouty face. Like! A! Man!

They find a rich house that they assume will make them bob for apples. This is a bad idea even in non-pandemic times. Never bob for apples at a stranger’s house. No matter how rich they are. That’s how rich people fatten you up to make you easier to hunt.

Max and Dani let themselves inside and start robbing the place of their Raisinets and O Henry bars. Rich people give out terrible candy.

Turns out the rich house belongs to Allison. They are having a party and everyone there is authentically dressed like royals. They did not get any of these costumes at Spirit Halloween.

Dani tells Allison that she can’t wear Allison’s royal dress because she doesn’t have yabbos and proceeds to tell her that Max loves her yabbos. This girl is outrageous. Or rude. It was a fine line in 1993.

Max asks Allison to take them to the Sanderson Sisters’ house. She tells him she’s going to quickly change out of a dress that must have taken her 45 minutes to get into.

The house is no different than it used to be. The spell book is still there. How have Jay and Ice not stolen anything from it?

Immortal Cat attacks Max when he wants to light the “virgin candle” that will bring back the Sanderson sisters. It’s a great sequence where he says the name of the movie (always important), then pulls a Zippo out of his pocket (which all kids who don’t smoke have), and lights the candle.

It starts things. Hair blows a lot. This is why they had Max be a surfer boy from California. For this hair effect.

This movie cares a lot about someone being a virgin. Even Dani knows what a virgin is. Are they covering this in her second grade class? Do the parents know? What does the PTA think?

The candle makes the Sisters return and they try to keep Dani. Bette Midler uses more of her Star Wars lightning fingers but Allison saves the day.

The cat can talk and the chances of me liking this movie just took a huge hit.

Max steals Columbo, the spell book.

The writers of the movie do the right thing by having the Sisters be scared of everything modern like roads and fire trucks. Nice touch.

The Sisters only have tonight, which adds the right amount of stakes, to get the spell book back. I don’t think I could make it if they had a week or so.

The Sisters raise the dead causing a very reluctant zombie (RZ) to chase after the kids. Most zombies love what they do so this is a fun choice.

Immortal Cat gets run over by a bus but lives because he’s immortal. We needed proof because the 300 years of being a cat was not enough.

Garry Marshall plays a guy dressed as the devil which they play for fun as the Sisters worship him but we can’t gloss over that fact that Fake Devil’s wife is played by his real-life sister, Penny Marshall. It’s not disturbing. They’re acting!

Children steal the Sisters’ brooms which probably won’t matter later.

They find a Halloween party that Max’s parents went to. When Max’s dad meets Allison, he kisses her hand. I am going to do the same to whoever my kid brings home one day. “It’s from Hocus Pocus. That movie’s fun. It’s not weird.”

Bette Midler gets to sing a song. That should satisfy the requirements from her contract. The song puts a spell on the partygoers forcing them to dance until they die. Somehow the kids are immune to it. Can they shut off their ears? Are they also magical?

The kids lure the Sisters into the school incinerator and burn them alive. It’s a strong play. The kids celebrate as if there is not 30 minutes left in the movie.

Immortal Cat, in a time of reflection, brings up his sister and Max says “You really miss her, huh?” He has been trapped as a cat after failing to save his sister’s life 300 years earlier. He misses her. Why not “Hey, do you ever wonder what might have happened if you saved her life?”

Without any explanation, the Sisters are fine. They run into Jay and Ice who insult them. The Sisters cage Jay and Ice and make them hang from the witch house ceiling. The bullies are crying. Maybe they aren’t so tough after all. <High Fives No One>

Allison decides to find a spell to uncat Immortal Cat. She opens Columbo causing it to glow. The glow lures Bette Midler and the Sisters to her. Allison fails to notice the glow but learns that salt can keep them safe.

The Sisters steal the book and Dani when Allison only uses the salt to protect herself. She really took care of number one here.

Now Sarah Jessica Parker gets to sing a real creepy song that summons all the children from the town. It really shows you the power of song. Again, Max and Allison must have turned off their hearing for this.

Max and Allison trick the Sisters into thinking sun is coming early by using a car headlight. It works but I don’t understand why. They had the sun 300 years ago. They know what it looks like. “Is that a person in a brown sweat suit and green hat or a tree?”

While the Sisters are scared of the car headlight, Max steals back his sneakers but doesn’t save the bullies. How does he know he won’t need the bullies to be on his side in the future? Has he not seen every other high school movie?

They drive away and Bette Midler brooms after them. We know how fast Max likes to go so it is impressive Bette Midler can keep up.

Reluctant Zombie shows up and Max pulls a knife on him. So Max has a knife and a zippo. He might be a problem.

They take the final showdown to a cemetery which is an odd choice. Why not a miniature golf course or a TCBY. Were they still around in 1993?

Max brings a bat to a magic fight. Allison still has her salt. “Bats and salt: Working together to inconvenience witches since 1881!”

Max sacrifices himself to save Dani. The sun comes up as Bette Midler is sucking the life out of Max. Just when you think it might be a better sun-impersonating headlight, Bette Midler turns into a statue and explodes. Definitely the sun.

Immortal Cat dies so he can be with his sister. Billowy shirt ghost appears to say thanks with a kiss on Dani’s cheek (so normal) before he runs off with his ghost sister for eternity.

They did it! They saved Salem! Quite a first day for Max..

The movie was fine. I hate talking animals unless they are cartoons so that didn’t help. And why did they care so much about virgins? A friend told me that “virgin” meant “pure of heart.” Well then they should have said “pure of heart.” And if I can suggest, between Max’s predilection for weapons and Allison’s selfishness with the salt, I don’t think they should stop being “pure of heart” with each other. They aren’t a good couple. Going through a traumatic thing like killing summoned witches from the Pilgrim days causes feelings that can’t last.

[coffeedrivenfiction]

An Interview With Minato Namikaze!

"I am now sitting down with one... Namikaze Minato, Fourth Hokage to the Village of Fire, spouse to Kushina Uzumaki, and father to Naruto Uzumaki. Is this correct?"

"Um, yes. To the best of my knowledge, that's correct. ...So do I just pick any chair or...?"

"Any will do, yes...Great, there you go. Before we get started, would you be so kind as to state your name for the record? Voice recognition and all that there."

"Oh, uh, sure. Ahem... my name... IS... the legendary Minato Nami—"

"If I could stop you right there to ask what you're doing? With the whole voice thing and the menacing smile…?"

"…Welp. Now I'm feeling kind of dense but, uh… it was something my wife suggested. She said I lacked the kind of presence that kowtows others instantly, doesn't really think I'm a very intimidating Hokage compared to the others before me, which is… arguable, I'll give her that, so she—"

"—so your wife doesn't see you as fit to run the village, does she?"

"Oh, ha! No, no, on the contrary—she honestly believes I'm the best to ever hold the title. Personally, I think she's lost her mind on that one but I double dog dare myself to say that to her face…."

"Your wife believes you to be the best suited Hokage… in a hallowed line that includes the likes of Hashirama-dono and Tobirama-dono."

"Yuuuup."

"Is she perhaps on drugs?"

"Not that I know of, no."

"Ah."

"Mhm…."

"And where do you think you sit on that scale, Minato-san?"

"Me? Hm... Now that's a tough one. Where do I see myself, where do I see myself…? Well, honestly, I don't like to think in terms of strength—far as I'm concerned, nobody's topping the Godaime and even then, you can't really brute force your way into governing people—buuuuut… overall? I'd put myself somewhere in the top three, at least. I might not have had the longest tenure but what I did manage, I'd like to think made a big difference."

"You say the top three… including who else?"

"Whoever else fits the other two spots. You pick."

"My thoughts on that are superfluous, aren't they? As a previous Hokage, the only input that matters should come from y—"

"As the Yondaime, one thing I learned even before I took the mantle was that the thoughts and viewpoints of those who look to you for advice are just as important as any lone thought you might have on your own. A man who rules without guidance is doomed to fall under himself, but a man who takes in many perspectives expands his gaze beyond the stars."

"…That was surprisingly wise for one so young."

"I have my moments. Like I said, strength alone won't get you far as a Hokage, there has to be some sort of light on upstairs."

"Indeed. And do you think you filled the position as adequately as your wife feels you did? Or could?"

"As good as Ku-chan thinks I could have? Not even close, but her standards are ridiculously high. Perfectionist, loud, commanding—I could live three lifetimes and still not match the greatness she sees in me. Bring it down to normal standards, though, and I don't think I did too bad…."

"Any regrets?"

"More than you or I have the time to go over."

"I imagine so..."

"Better to only imagine than live with it, I say."

"Are you scared of Kushina-dono?"

"Question outta left field there, but am I? Yes."

"That… was a surprisingly quick response."

"You asked a surprisingly easy question."

"I—well, normally, most would hesitate, not really want to answer one way or the other, but you…."

"Ha, my wife is scary as all hell, that's just facts. I fear her more than any enemy I could ever cross kunai with on the battle field. At least I know I stand a chance at beating them. My wife? Naw. Might as well call it done."

"Are you really saying that a Hokage cannot defeat his own wife in battle?"

"What I'm really saying is by default of her being my wife, she automatically wins. I was defeated in all the ways the moment I said 'I do' as far as I'm concerned. That's what she said and I don't even mind."

"Interesting…."

"Just a course of life that I've learned to lean into, really. My wife is adorably headstrong, I want her to be the best."

"And what about your son?"

"What about Naruto?"

"We have a staggering amount of questions here, mostly from fans, some from interested third parties, who want to know your true feelings on his treatment at the hands of those belonging to the village you pledged to defend?"

"Ah… my honest feelings…."

"Yes, if you could honor us with such a thing."

"…Once you become Hokage, I remember the Third telling me… it's like every single one of Konoha's citizens, they become your child. Yours to protect and guide and nurture. Sometimes, it's a trying thing… to watch as your children squabble and hurt one another, especially when most of that ire seems aimed at one of the children you quite literally created. Then, it becomes something different… your views get twisted, nothing makes sense anymore and all you feel is this undying, all-consuming rage coursing through your veins.

"In the beginning, it really hurts, that rage… it's probably best to be by yourself during the first few waves because it's not something anyone should ever let influence their moves. I was… lucky, to be gone. Extremely so. Over the years, watching him, watching them… ah, I'd be lying if I said it got easier. It never did. Did it become tolerable? Not really. In fact, if I'm honest, as you've asked me to be, I still hold a great deal of loathing in my heart. More than I'm comfortable with carrying—more than I thought I was capable of carrying.

"Eventually, in the end, it was my child who saved me from my own anger. Kinda odd when I think on it because… normally, subjecting someone to that kind of brutality for so long, they would naturally want to seek some sort of revenge, right? But Naruto never did. He took all that hate and… and he gave them shelter. That… I would swear he wasn't my child at times because I don't know where in the world he got kind of strength. To this day, I'm still confused, ha. Like… such a small human that I made—me—and well, wife included, but still—and he just… without any guidance… he didn't let any of that hate change who he was, you know? He had every right to, every inclination, and yet…."

"Minato-sama… are you okay?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah… yeah, I'm… just thinking is all…."

"About what?"

"How truly blessed I am to have had a kid like Naruto."

"I think most would agree with that sentiment now."

"Yeah…."

"Were you excited to see him learn the Rasengan?"

"Was I? And in a little over a week? That's the point where I was like 'my son is a prodigy'! Well, I always figured—Ku-chan, too—but that right there, just wow….Took me three years, took him less than ten days. Amazing…."

"Do you wish you could have taught him your Hiraishin jutsu?"

"Every single day, yes."

"Cute. Did your wife ever want to learn it?"

"Not initially, no, but once I put a mark on her so I could teleport to her side if she ever needed me, she saw that side of the technique, how powerful it was on the protection angle, and wanted to learn it just so she could come to Naruto for the same reason. Obviously… that didn't really come to happen…."

"Unfortunately, no, although I daresay your wife probably would have driven that newfound ability into the ground."

"Pft, that's an understatement. It takes a fair bit of chakra control to orchestrate but the Uzumaki's are known for their near bottomless chakra reserves so she would've been teleporting all day and night and you know what? Actually, on second thought, her not learning my technique is probably the single best outcome out of all of this."

"Would you say that in front of her?"

"Absolutely not."

"Ah. Well… I think that'll just about do it for now, um… yeah, we got through a lot of questions—definitely not all of them, but we'll save some for next time, yes?"

"You like it, I love it. This was okay, I'm glad Ku-chan pressured me to do it."

"Then so am I. Does that mean you'll be open to more questions in the future?"

"Of course. As the former Hokage, I am in service to those who need me."

"Excellent. Well, until next time, this has been… an interview with Namikaze Minato-sama."

"Well, erm, not to be rude or anything but I'm just gonna teleport out of here, okay?"

"As you please."

"Great. See ya!"

[whateverisbeautiful]

Reveling in Richonne

#148: The Defender (9x07-9x12)

So before 9x14, there were more little notable tidbits here and there. Michonne had to defend her stance a lot and go through it. And even though she didn’t seem to have a whole lot of people behind her, I was on her side completely. I could see her perspective loud and clear so you know...

As for 9x07, I like that Siddiq seems to be one of Michonne’s closest confidants because he’s a really good person and because Carl’s the one who brought him to her. Grimes looking out for each other even after they depart. 

Michonne has a moment in 9x07 where she tells Yumiko, “I know what it’s like. To worry about your family. To carry the burden of protecting them. To feel guilt when they suffer.” Everything Michonne is doing and has done is for her family, and not just her immediate family but for the larger community family they’ve built. She wants to do what’s best for all of them. 

Yumiko says they’ll all be fine. And Michonne says, “Because you have to be. I would know.” And she reassures them they’ll find a home. That’s also something Michonne would know since she went from being a lone wolf type to truly finding her home and the family she was meant for.  

We also learn that Maggie left without even saying anything to Michonne which is tough and strange. For some reason the two had a falling out that doesn’t ever quite get explicitly addressed . 

Michonne tells Siddiq she kept her promise to Judith by getting that new group to Hilltop and so now she’s going to go home. And it’s sweet how all of this really was because she heard Judith out and wanted to honor her daughter’s wish. 

Siddiq asks what about her promise to Carl and she says it’s not that simple. And it’s true, after everything she’s been through sometimes the rules change. Just like if Carl or Rick would’ve gone through that Jocelyn stuff they would’ve adjusted too.

Y’all, I don’t even want to address the uncalled for hostility Michonne’s met with when she pulls up to Hilltops gates in 9x08. 🙄 But I will say that Tara needed to turn that attitude all the way down cuz she had me watching like... 

Michonne and Carol have a little exchange and get to talk about the kids which is nice. I’m glad someone acknowledged Michonne as a mother and not just the Head of Security like we’d been seeing. And it makes sense that Carol would be the one to do that. 

I’ve alway wanted Carol and Michonne to have more scenes together since they’re both strong women who have gone through a lot of the same things. So I appreciate that in this moment they at least acknowledge the similarities in their journeys when Carol says, “You and me, we both lost children and we kept going.” 

It’s deep cuz losing a child is the toughest thing to go through and they two of them have seen it happen many times and been personally affected from it. And yet years later these two are still standing cuz they have an immense strength within them. 

(Side note: So the wigs…can we talk about it for a sec? 😬  For Michonne’s wig, I get the idea and I like the idea. But all I gotta say is they are lucky Danai can pull off anything cuz the execution of this wig was not always on point to say the least. Like the taping of the edges to start. ���🏽‍♀️ They are in Atlanta! Black hair capital. To have a wig like that...they could have done better. I’m just saying. But again, Danai makes it work cuz she just got it like that.👌 And for Carol’s wig, again the idea and the significance of the longer hair isn’t bad, but still that execution was not the move.🏽)

Later in this episode, Michonne says how she knows she didn’t make easy choices but, “at least they’re alive so they can hate me for it.” I’m still unclear as to what would make the others behave this way towards Michonne. 

Even if she did cut places off, no one ever stopped and said hey I know Michonne used to have the most sound head on her shoulders of us all so maybe if she’s making a drastic decision there’s a valid reason for it. 

People seem to know what Michonne went through, or at least the gist, but still gave no understanding. Michonne’s mantra now is that there’s a whole lot of broken world between the communities so they’ve gotta focus on taking care of their own. And yes would it be nice if they could all just be united? Definitely. That’s what she’d really want. But also right now Michonne’s at a point where she has to do what she has to do for her family, the same way Rick did. 

Rick straight up kicked Carol out of their community in season four to protect his own, so drastic measures have been taken before for the sake of protecting your family.

Michonne really does feel like she’s looking out for the best interests of everyone if they stop traveling so much cuz it would keep everybody a bit safer. Not just Alexandria, everybody. When she tells Siddiq at least their alive to hate me it’s because she genuinely sees her decisions as having kept everybody alive. She didn’t cut things off to punish, dismiss, or divide. It was to protect and save.

So next, it’s interesting cuz my favorite part of 9x09 was in the “previously on” part lol. 

Michonne’s voiceover does a briefing on the past and mentions everything that went down. And she says “We lost friends we loved…my true love.” And y’all, that alone took me out. 😭🙌🏽

I really loved hearing Michonne refer to Rick as her true love, even if it wasn’t within the show. Rick is her true love. It’s just the gospel truth. 💯

And then she says, “But even now, six years later, his hopes for the future live on.” And it’s so sweet cuz she says that over clips of Judith and RJ. They’re Richonne’s legacy. 😊👌🏽

So listen, during 9x09 Negan got out of his cell and if the goal is to redeem him, then having him immediately go into Michonne’s home at night and walk right into Judith’s room ain’t a great start. That’s so creepy and violating. 😖

But I do adore the precious  drawing Judith has above her bed. It’s Rick, Michonne, Carl, RJ, and Judith. The royal family. And it says the truest statement ever on the top, “My family is always with me.” Amen, Judith. 😊🙌🏽

As Negan’s about to hop the gate, Judith stops him with a gun cuz she’s about that life. (Although whoever was supposed to be watching her, while Michonne was away, was def slacking.) 

Then Negan and Judith have this whole little exchange and Judith is quite fearless. 

Negan tells Judith, “You know when your mom and dad - when they locked me up, they told me that I was gonna be good for something.” And I just appreciate hearing Rick and Michonne be referred to as “mom and dad”. 

And I like that he acknowledges the wonderland that Alexandria’s become. Despite Judith’s knack for making her own decisions she does at least know who’s boss when she tells him, “Rules are rules. My mom decides not me.” Which is nice to hear, even if she does let him go afterwards.

Michonne and Daryl also have their first convo post time jump and it’s nice to see them together.

(Side note: I knew they wouldn’t address it or show it but I was very curious as to how the conversation would go when Daryl explains to Michonne why Rick was even in that bridge situation in the first place. Cuz if it was up to Rick…he would’ve been at home with her that day. But Daryl, Maggie, and a fake friend horse unfortunately had other plans.😒)

Michonne tells Daryl that Judith found the new people and vouched for them so she does too and Daryl’s with it. In regards to Paul dying and them bringing him back to Hilltop for closure, Michonne then says, “It’s gonna mean a lot to them. Bringing him back. Burying him.”  You know this speaks to her because she didn’t get that closure with getting to bury Rick.😔

Daryl knows too and sincerely says, “Sorry I couldn’t do that for you.” I appreciate him saying for her specifically, cuz of course he wanted to find Rick for him and everyone else too but he knows that it would have especially meant a lot to Michonne, cuz in losing Rick she lost her soul mate. 

And Michonne looks at him and says, “I’m sorry I couldn’t do that for both of us.” Cuz it’s true these two are the closest people to Rick. It’s his wife and brother and so it is sweet to see them have this moment of understanding more than anyone, what not finding Rick has felt like. 

It’s nice that now Rick has a wife and best friend who still feel the weight of his loss six years later and keep his memory alive. 

Michonne also thanks Daryl for trying to find Rick and “for after” cuz those two went through it big time in between this time jump. 

When they’re confronted by Whisperers at the bridge, I love the shot of Michonne walking with two walkers behind her like her OG days in season three. 

But what’s cooler is that, while the image is reflective of the past, this isn’t the same s3 Michonne. This Michonne has a whole family now and doesn’t just get her strength from the dead, she lives for the living. And slays for the living too.👌🏽

I’m glad Aaron is a real one for at least starting to understand where Michonne is coming from with why she feels these communities need to stay in their own lanes. There’s some sadistic people out there, with Alpha being top of the list, and they know that now.

I’m also here for Judith being a woman of her word. She said she’d shoot next time she sees Negan and that’s what she does. On site.👏🏽

Next time we see Michonne is in 9x12 and she’s confronting these deceptive Alexandrians about the radio stuff. She has to give them a dose of reality when she lets them know this sneaky stuff not only could get people killed, it already is getting people killed. 

She tells them that putting themselves out there when they don’t have to is dangerous but Father G feels like cutting themselves off from their friends is dangerous too. 

Aaron steps up and defends Michonne’s point of view because there are literally masked enemies out there now that confirm exactly what Michonne has been saying. 

And Aaron speaks nothing but facts when he says, “We put Michonne in charge of security for a reason. Her judgement has saved us time and time again.” Thank you Aaron for that dose of solid truth. Louder for the people in the back. Michonne’s judgement stay saving lives. 👌

🏽Siddiq brings up the fair and that Michonne turned it down which upsets the people. But, after seeing how the fair went down, I’ll be honest, the petty in me was like…do 👏🏽y’all 👏 🏽see now 👏🏽that 👏🏽Michonne’s 👏🏽insctinct👏🏽 is 👏🏽always👏🏽 right!? 

They’re lucky she’s not the “told you so” type because she knew the fair could be dangerous and leave them all vulnerable and well, exactly that happened. Yes Michonne is leading with an iron fist and I’m not saying she’s perfect, but they gotta at least understand that sis has a point. A lot of valid points, if you ask me. 

It’s good Michonne is so levelheaded and mature too because a lesser person might’ve been like; you Alexandrians better listen to me...

In Michonne’s first exchange with Negan since the time jump, she shows up to his cell and wants answers as to how he got out and why he came back and what he was planning. 

Negan really is still trying to talk all big like he’s in control and tells her how he was in her house and could’ve killed her and a lot of people but Michonne calls him right out and knows he came back cuz he knew there was nothing out there for him. It’s a read. 💯 This whole scene is a read from Michonne and I’m here for it. 😌

Negan again gets too personal when he tells her, “You’re keeping me in here to remind everyone how merciful the great Rick Grimes was.” Keep that name out your mouth, Negan. 😤 

And then Negan really tries to offer to be some kind of sounding board for her which is low key insane lol. 

I was a little shook that he’d even think Michonne would even consider an offer like that. Sounding board!? Ain’t nothing sound about that man. Being in that cell so long clearly has him not thinking straight. 

When he refers to Michonne as the leader, she says she’s not but both Negan and I were like come on girl, you’s the leader. 😂

He mentions he knows she wrote up some constitution, and it was cuter when Rick referred to it as that. Just saying. And then Michonne sees Judith by the window and is surprised and I was like yes girl, your daughter is buddy-buddy with Negan and we need to nip that in the bud asap.

Michonne then confronts Judith at home. But first she watches as Rick and Michonne’s peaceful prince, RJ, sleeps. Precious. ☺️

Literally everytime they show RJ I just feel like we’ve won the best award. Whenever he’s on screen I’m just like...

Michonne asks why Judith was spying on her and Judith says she wasn’t, she went there to see Negan. Michonne is surprised to learn she’s been talking to him and so she asks why. Judith says she feels sorry for him and Michonne is adamant when she says, “He is not your friend, sweetheart.” It’s the truth.

And then Judith has the tween response of, “Well obviously.” Michonne asks, “So if he’s not your friend then why are you talking to him?” and Judith says, “He listens to me. Not everybody does.”

It’s interesting cuz so much of what a parent does can go unnoticed. Michonne listened to Judith with Connie and Co and personally escorted them to Hilltop to keep her promise to Judith. But sometimes when you’re a kid you don’t see that.

This moment between Michonne and Judith reminds me a bit of Rick and Carl’s exchanges in the past. And in both situations, even when they don’t see eye-to-eye, the love and care they have for each other is always so evident. It’s why they so fiercely protect each other. 

Michonne tells her, “I don’t want you to ever go near him again.” And Judith asks why not so Michonne explains, “There’s a reason that he’s in a cage, Judith. He is a monster.” And I was like...

And then Judith gets passionate when she says, “No he’s not. He’s a human being.” Girl, if you were in that lineup you’d feel different. 😬 Pretty sure that’s a direct quote from Michonne’s mind. 😂 

Michonne clarifies saying, “But he has done monstrous things.  He’s killed people. People I cared about. People your dad cared about. And if we ever let him out it would start all over again.”

Judith counters with, “But mom, he did get out. He’s not like that anymore.” And Michonne says, “I get why you want to believe that. But people don’t really change.” 

And then Judith responds with the deep statement, “You did.” This really resonates with Michonne. And I think this moment resonates with her for a lot of reasons. 

Michonne has changed and evolved a lot over the seasons. Especially from a lone wolf to a valued family member. She also changed leadership styles after going through trauma. So she knows Judith has a point that she changed. And I think it hits her that Judith has noticed these changes within her. 

You can tell it stirs up a lot in her so she pauses and tells Judith to go to her room. And Judith again has the tween response of, “Why?” and Michonne is just honest and says, “Cuz I need a minute.” It’s the healthiest approach to be honest like that and take some time to process all this. 

Again, it’s tough cuz Michonne is expected to balance so much. She’s expected to be hands on as both the Head of Security/Leader and as a mother of two. It makes it difficult to have moments to breathe. So as weighted as she clearly feels in this moment, I’m glad she at least takes a moment to herself to process. 

Michonne has a good heart and a balanced character, so she’s open to hearing people out. And we see that when she has a sweet moment with Aaron where she thanks him and Aaron again reiterates his understanding of where she’s coming from. 

Because she’s willing to be a team player, she tells Aaron that she won’t veto the councils desire to go to the fair. She admits she thinks it’s a terrible idea (and she’s right) but she also cares to value their rights, plus it’s for the Kingdom, which she cares for. 

Aaron says he hopes they don’t regret this and Michonne agrees and unfortunately they all will. 

But at least this moment shows that Michonne is willing to do what the best leaders do which is take a step back every now and then and let people lead themselves. 

As people pack up for the fair they stay on this shot of Michonne alone and sitting very contemplatively. And it’s tough seeing how much she has to endure alone when normally Rick would be right by her side. 

It’s also tough cuz Michonne’s gut feelings are so right so often, so it can’t be easy to know that her people are willingly putting themselves at risk for something she knows will be a mess. But they lived and they learned…well most of them. 🙃

And that’s everything that goes down with Michonne and her family in the events leading up to the meaty Michonne episode we get in 9x14. It’s a tough one but also really significant so you know I’ll break it down. 👌🏽😭

gifs source: @michonnegrimes

[emma-nation]

Thinking Of You (Mona x MC Fanfiction) - Chapter 6

You said move on Where do I go? I guess second best Is all I will know

Summary: Years later, Allison has everything she wants, a brand-new internship as a doctor, a handsome boyfriend… but her first nightshift won’t go as expected…

Genre: Romance, Angst

Tag list: @zoe6111, @simsvetements, @mvrinettes, @whoinvitedalx, @scarlet-letter-a0114, @abunchofbadchoices, @kamilahmademedoit, @janurary, @talkinlikeateen, @eagle-one-1, @andreear17, @tia-bi, @monagf, @monahott, @fal-carrington, @crazzyplays, @honorablebicycle​ (let me know if you want to be tagged!)

Notes:

- English is not my first language, forgive me for any mistakes.

- Things will start to get really wild next chapter. Stay tuned! 😜

"I've said no," Mona said, once again, placing her very few clothes inside a bag.

"After all you've done against the police, it's the least you can do!" Detective Wheeler insisted.

"I got locked up for eight years, I owe you nothing anymore."

"Well, I have something that may give you some motivation."

Mona was determined to go back to New York. Nothing else was holding her in Los Angeles anymore. She didn’t have any attachments, she didn’t owe anything to anyone, and Allison would be getting married really soon. Though she'd never admit, it was killing her inside. She spoke to her mom, who was more than relieved to have her around again. She even managed to buy a house, for the two of them to start a new life.

Detective Wheeler came back to the bedroom, tossing her a keychain.

"What? Are you bribing me with a car, Pops?" She chuckled. "I'm not allowed to drive remember?"

"If you accept the mission, you are," he affirmed. "And it's not any car..."

She followed him to the garage to find her 2008 Yottsume Halberdier.

"My car!"

The painting was conserved, intact. Impressed, Mona carefully examined every detail of the engine, concluding that whoever had been keeping her car did an impressive job.

"I missed you, baby," she sat down at the driver's seat, remembering the good old days. "Where did you find her, Pops?"

"It was out of radar for a while, then a couple years ago the police found it in a dealership and took for possible evidence, to track the rest of your... friends."

The word 'dealership’ caught her attention. She had a bad feeling about it, related to someone from her past. When she opened the glove compartment, her suspicions were only confirmed by a small handwritten note. He had been keeping her car, for all these years. She scowled in rage.

"I don't want it anymore," she threw the keys back to Detective Wheeler. "Sorry Pops, find somebody else for you investigation."

----------

"Griffin, I have to tell you something," Allison was sitting down in front of her laptop, getting ready to tell her fiancé she wanted to take a break. She had invented a perfect excuse, about this stressful moment of her life and how she wasn't ready for marriage.

“What is it, Allison?” He asked from the other side of the screen. “Is it about our future house? Didn’t you like it?”

“No, actually it’s about...”

The door opened in a slam and an angry Mona stomped inside. She was never in a good mood, but something had seriously upset her that morning.

“Could please stop with this kinkiness and come to the living room?” She angered. “It’s important.”

After convincing Griffin it was only her cousin who was spending a few days at their house, Allison went to the living room, where a heated argument between her dad and Mona was taking place. Which she found strange, considering Mr. Wheeler had been treating Mona surprisingly well in the last few days. Too well to be true.

"You're bribing me!" Mona yelled. "Into a suicidal mission."

"Oh please, what can be worse than allying yourself with the Brotherhood?" Mr. Wheeler argued.

"Act as a bait for a serial killer?"

"Guys," Allison shouted. "Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on here?"

Detective Wheeler explained his plan. Mona would be infiltrated in an university as a new student, where she’d socialize and find out who was selling a dangerous synthetic drug.

“With her reputation, these tattoos and the tough girl attitude... she’s perfect for the job,” he finished.

“Then you could lock me up again for buying drugs?” Mona asked.

“The police and the university will be aware of your disguise! We're even offering you a reward.”

“Whoever is developing this drug is too big and powerful, I’m not willing to get shot a second time.”

Allison completely understood Mona's point of view. It was risky and she was just recovering from a surgery. If she wasn’t careful enough, the lesion could return and become something more serious.

“Dad,” she spoke. “It’s up to Mona to decide. If she doesn’t want it, I'm sure you can find someone else.”

“Thank you, Allison,” Mona had some sarcasm in her voice. “At least for once you stood by my side.”

She knew exactly what she meant. Mona was attacking her for the possibility she’d go away to New Zealand, after confessing her feelings.

She scowled at both of them and grabbed her car keys that were lying on the coffee table.

"I'm going out for a while. I have something else to solve."

Before Mr. Wheeler could protest or reinforce the fact she wasn't allowed to drive, unless she accepted the task, she was already gone. Allison took a concerned and weary sigh, wondering how or when she’d find a quiet moment of peace.

"I'll see what I can do," Mr. Wheeler shook his head and left for work.

Alone, Allison sat down at the couch. She reflected and somehow her mind clicked. Without even knowing, she had just found the most perfect solution for all her issues. A sly smile appeared on her lips.

----------

Mona entered the dealership in her best bad girl attitude. She was sure that most of the employees there had heard about her at least once, through the old 'wanted' posters that could be found all over LA and the internet.

She confirmed the dealership’s owner was indeed living in Los Angeles for the last couple years. Lying she needed an exclusive model of car, she demanded to speak directly to him.

She waited a few minutes inside his office, kicking her feet up on his desk. She examined the surroundings, if it wasn’t for that security camera pointed at her, she’d take one of those expensive pens as souvenir. The door opened and a tall, black haired man wearing a fancy suit, came inside.

"Hello! How can I help you, miss..." that annoying, usual smirk he usually had on pictures and outdoors suddenly faded from his face. "Y-You... What..."

"Hello, David. Long time no see."

Uncomfortable, he sat down in front of her, almost panicking.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, in a low tone, making sure no one was listening. "I thought you were still in prison."

"I came to return the car," she told. "Since you've laid your dirty hands on her, I don't want it anymore."

David handed her back the keychain. His fingers slightly brushing her hand.

"What's the problem with a father taking care of his daughter's most prized possession while she's in jail, huh?" He looked her straight in the eyes, trying to intimidate her with his words. "I even made improvements for you! You should be more grateful."

"I'll never be grateful for anything you do!" She stared even deeper, showing she wasn’t feeling threatened. "You abandoned us when I was two. We went through hell because of you!"

"Let me tell you something. A few years ago, I was watching some videos online and I was fascinated by Mercy Park Crew's skills. Especially one particular driver, the one behind the Yottsume. Can you imagine my surprise when I found out it was my own daughter? The one who fled from New York after a mysterious man bailed her out of jail. Oh, sugar. We have more in common than you think.”

Mona clenched her fists in rage. She knew what awaited for her when she decided to meet that man. He was extremely manipulative and sadistic, but that was too much to listen.

"I'm not even a single bit like..." she interrupted.

"Let me finish,” he silenced her. “I've met Kaneko, I worked for his dad when I was a kid. He taught us everything we knew about cars. He even hooked us up in some of his... jobs. Then when the police was hunting for our heads, that was when I went to hide in my grandparents' house in Lebanon, where I met your mom."

"You?!" Mona let out a laugh, pointing to the portrait on his desk, with his current wife and step-daughters. "The perfect family man used to steal cars?!"

"Like you, I was fascinated by that life. The adrenaline, the speed, the expensive cars, the easy money... but all of us have to grow up at some point," he told, in a cold and insensitive tone. "Don't get me wrong, I loved you and your mom, I truly did, but my job as real estate agent didn't pay enough. I wanted more. I wanted to be near these beautiful speedy machines somehow again..."

"Then you met her. Your rich wife, who has helped you to build all your empire."

"Exactly, I was only seeking for my best interests. Sorta like you, when you joined the Brotherhood. You could've escaped along with your friends, but you were aiming higher. You wanted more."

"Wrong," Mona smirked. "I was saving my life, and my girl's too. They were going to kill us both."

"And there you made a mistake, putting somebody's life above yours. You could've died, besides wasting almost a decade of your life in prison."

"I'm not like you or I'll ever be. I don't know what you want, but stay away from me. You never wanted to be part of my life, so screw off!"

Mona stood up, throwing the car keys on her father's desk again.

"Take it, it should be enough to pay the costs you had, hiring me one of the best lawyers in the country. What was your intention, huh? Was it to torture my mom? Show her you're in control?"

"What are you talking about? I never hired you a lawyer. I could've gotten you out of prison immediately if I wanted, with my powers and contacts. But like I said, you needed to grow up. Otherwise, right now you'd be still acting like a stupid kid, stealing cars in some other state. God knows if you'd even be alive."

"As if you care."

It was useless to keep arguing with that man. He was a sociopath. She was only putting herself under unnecessary stress. His presence in Los Angeles had now became the main reason why she should return to her mother's home. She had no idea of what he was planning, but it shouldn't be good. Nothing good ever came from that man.

She decided to keep her car. She still could sell it and use to money to rebuild her life from zero in New York.

----------

“I’m sorry, Dr. Carlson,” Allison said, inside her father-in-law’s office. “I can’t go to New Zealand right now.”

“Why not, my darling?” His eyes widened in shock. “It’s a lifetime opportunity. There’s so many doors it will open for your future…”

“Actually, I’m quitting my internship too. Temporarily.”

“What?!”

“I'm enrolling myself in a six-month course in university. I’m feeling kinda lost, so I'm searching for an specialization, as Griffin suggested.”

The mention of his son’s name should be enough to not upset the man too much. In the end, after speaking to Griffin, he was convinced it was really the best for Allison at the moment. She left his office feeling accomplished and victorious. Part of her problem had been solved.

Back to her house, Mr. Wheeler wasn’t home. She knew he wouldn’t be thrilled with the news, but when she told her real purposes, he’d eventually forgive her.

She went to her bedroom, where Mona was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to some music on her cellphone.

"Hiya, gorgeous," Allison grinned ear-to-ear.

She looked at her, rolled her eyes and unplugged the earphones.

“What are you doing home so early? And why do you look so happy?"

“I’ve quit it, Mona,” she bit her lower lip mischievously. “I’ve quit my internship and I’m not going to New Zealand either.”

“What?!” Mona stood up. “But good. It was about time, considering how miserable you were looking. What about Gavin?”

“Griffin is supporting me,” she told. “But he doesn’t know my real purposes, of course. I’m enrolling myself in this six-month course to play the role my dad needs to catch these criminals.”

“It’s stupid and dangerous. Besides, your father will freak out and blame it on me. I’m not letting you do this.”

"Then stop me,” Allison challenged, “or... there’s another option.”

Only a couple of hours later, they were both inside Mona's car. They had just left the University, where Allison enrolled herself in the course and Mona filled the papers she needed, to be play spy for the police.

“Whoa, your car is looking great. The dealership did a great job on it.”

“I’d have done better myself.”

She noticed Mona was quiet and tense. She thought the news and her company in university would make her feel better, but her behavior barely changed.

After buying burgers and milkshakes, they were at home eating. Mona was still looking angry and very anxious.

"So, will you tell me what's bothering you?” Allison finally asked. “I mean, you don't have to be part of this job, if you don't want to."

"It's not that," Mona answered. "It's a personal issue. Someone from my past. He's living in LA and I'm sure his intentions aren't any good."

"Who is this? If you don’t mind me asking."

"No one important."

Allison knew that was all she'd get from Mona, so she decided to change the subject. She burst into laughs.

"Can you just imagine? You and me, in college together?"

Mona gave in, laughing too.

"Yeah, babe. We're going to burn down that place!”

[raleigh-ocean]

raleigh’s archive | headcanons

☾ - sleep headcanon

She always sleep in the left side of the bed, no questions allowed. It’s like the thing she always sticks, even when walking in the street she always has to be at the left. Only once she ‘slept’ in the right side and it was the day Wilhemina and her met, just because she was afraid of hurting her by moving her. Raleigh also has the habit of sleeping with two pillows, because she curls up when she is asleep and her head always ends up out of the regular pillow to rest in the other one, always placed to her left side - like a barrier for her to not fall from the bed. Sleeping in the same bed with Raleigh is a blessing, she won’t ever complain about anything + she’s like a heating blanket, providing warmth and comfort with that. She is a heavy sleeper when she manage to sleep too, once Cordelia freaked out because she thought she wasn’t breathing at all after more than 15 hours sleeping - her record.

★ - sad headcanon

She only cried a handful of times in all her life due to sadness. When her father died, when Fiona put the hex on her, when Cordelia comforted her after appearing in the Academy in 2013, when Queenie accompanied her to see her mother’s grave in 2019 and after Wilhemina and her broke up. She is really tough, not to lie here, she really had to endure a lot of things in her life and she never let herself show it, afraid of what would happen if she showed an ounce of it. It’s a bit terrifying watching her cry, mostly because she doesn’t sob. Her sadness is truly something else, almost as strong as her rage. However she is really good at hiding it and it led to some ugly encounters with people she loves, since she gets mean and her patience is reduced to nothing, which presented herself to the rest as someone unstable. 

☆ - happy headcanon

None really knows how Raleigh looks when she is happy. It’s a feeling that she has never reached fully, being ‘content’ the most she had felt. Her constant pensive expression doesn’t help neither, even when she cracks a smile from time to time it never reach her eyes. Cordelia is the one who has known her the longest and she wanted to believe that when they were together, at age 17/18, she was genuinely happy but she knew that it wasn’t till she had Eric, Misty and Raleigh’s son, in her arms that Raleigh was really able to say she was ‘happy’. Raleigh told her afterwards, when they were alone, that it wasn’t the fact of having the child in her arms what made her happy but the fact of being able to not feel for a day that she didn’t deserve whatever good was coming her way. 

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

Raleigh is terrifying when she is angry. She doesn’t need to say something is her whole aura and magic boiling and ready to act, as if she is capable of destroying the source of her annoyance by just staring at it. But it takes a lot to make her reach her limit or too little if that person hit the right button. It’s only one button that has a lot of things, but overall are names of the people she cares about. As I said in the MTL I did for the originals, she is second in getting physical because she doesn’t hesitate in take the matter in her hands and finish it. Aside of that, Raleigh always feel extremely guilty for showing that extreme of her emotions since she always tried to control herself and it takes a few days to feel that she’s in control of her body and mind again. She doesn’t like a single bit of this part of her and Raleigh beat herself up each time she has shown it. 

✿ - Sex headcanon

Due to all the magic she has gathered thanks to both Mallory and her own being finally free from the main leak - her Future Sight, which took it all for it -, it hits like Cordelia’s magic when she let herself just go. Only Cordelia can fully stand the whole thing, both having too much magic in display. Misty was lucky she was used to being with Cordelia, but still they don’t team up in case something bad happen to her. Wilhemina had to expand her magic and take several concoctions during some time to help with all the ‘blacking out’ each time they made out a bit more intense.

Aside of that, Raleigh’s sexual drive is really really low. She doesn’t care most of the time about that aspect of her life, is like she has a switch in her to be honest. When is time to actually do the thing, it turns on and she just goes for it. Maybe is because she didn’t experience the time where all that start to grow and flow, maybe is because she really doesn’t need it at all. Yet still, she isn’t bothered by this, her partners always knew what to do to have a reaction from her.

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

Cordelia and Mallory can testify that Raleigh is the messiest roommate ever. Her head may be all methods and whatever, but she can’t keep order outside for shit. It’s a ‘ordered disorder’ as she likes to say, which is half the truth since she knows where she placed everything in the mess. However, this only happens in her room, outside of it is like completely the opposite and gets annoyed by people when they keep letting stuff lying around everywhere. Misty doesn’t mind though, but Cordelia yeah; so after little Rhiannon was born, Cordelia made Raleigh keep her room clean in case the kid wandered around so she couldn’t get hurt.

♡ - romantic headcanon

How someone that hurt can have so much love inside? Raleigh always goes for the tiniest details to please her partners. It’s not about the money, not about big stuff, it’s about her being able to show how much she care and love them. But her ‘romantic’ side is complex and sometimes she feels helpless. With Cordelia is easy being romantic because she is also one of tiny sweet gestures and the soft spot both have for each other makes everything easier; with Wilhemina is not about the kisses or stuff like that, it was something unspoken and both knew with each ‘let me take you to the doctor’ or ‘here have my jacket’ it was her way to put in words all the love; but when it comes to Misty is really difficult for Raleigh since Misty does need to be reassured of that love and being vocal about it and Raleigh isn’t like that but is trying her best.

♥ - family headcanon

To this day, Raleigh doesn’t know what happened to her family. Like she know a tiny bit of information thanks to Mallory’s grandmother, who told her that her mother died around 2010, but aside of that she doesn’t know a thing. She doesn’t even know she has a half brother that’s a warlock, because her mother had a child a couple years after her disappearance with a boyfriend she had at that time. Raleigh’s father died when she was fourteen. Hawthorne’s have been taking care of him since he was ten, he doesn’t know about Raleigh’s existence neither. To this day, Raleigh thinks of Robichaux’s and it’s people as her family, and well, later when Cordelia, Misty and her have their own little big family of three kids, three moms and like four step-grown up children that feeling grew. Sometimes she goes visit her parents’ graves, Queenie is the one who accompany her to do so always. She finally encountered her half-brother, Rowan, when she accompanied the council - ‘I’m not letting my pregnant wife go into the wolves dent without all the possible protection, sorry, this is my last word about this Cordelia.’ - to pay a visit to Hawthorne’s, where Rowan was teaching new warlocks. Behold Chablis was the only one knowing who was Rowan’s mother and when he saw Raleigh, everything clicked. Raleigh is 20 years older than Rowan, they are trying to know each other.

☮ - friendship headcanon

Raleigh never had many friends, mostly because how she is, so she never got along with anyone aside of Cordelia. It wasn’t until she was older when she started to make more friends, as it shows with Queenie, Sally, Wilhemina and Coco. She is very loyal to those she care about and she is always ready to step up for any of them. When she was young Raleigh was pretty okay with having only Cordelia though, her main focus was keep on building their friendship even when they soon realized they had feelings for each other. Raleigh’s kind of love - romantic, friendly, etc - is pretty strong, so she gives her all to those close to her. Her friendships are those that last forever. Raleigh is the kind of friend that tells you ‘c’mon we going out for lunch’ and whoever she says this is ‘but i don’t have money’ and she is like ‘I didn’t tell you you have to bring money’. 

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

Raleigh have pretty much a couple of hobbies, one being reading and the other one was collecting CDs. It isn’t until she is again in the Academy, around 2018, that she picks up a new hobby: videogames. Her intuitive side comes in handy always, so those that are strategy oriented or have puzzles in them are her favourites of all times. It was thanks to a youngling under her care that she reconnected with this after showing her the new pokemon generations. 

And well, a nice quirk of Raleigh is that she can fix everything without using her magic at all. She had fixed the coffee machine several times and also helped Kyle to build the arbor in the back of the backyard. She is very handy with building stuff, after all she takes it from her papa.

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

Raleigh is someone methodical, she likes having her stuff sorted and ready for her to take it which is really big contrast with how messy she is when it comes to her bedroom per example. When she was a teen this part of her was more ‘aggressive’ but now she is trying to be more indulgent when things aren’t done her way. This always gets her in trouble, and being Misty totally the opposite freaked her out at first and led them to argue a lot. Cordelia always knew how to take this matter in her hands without Raleigh feeling she is out of control. 

Which is actually one of the few things Raleigh dislike: being powerless in the sense of not having things under control. She dislikes touching things that aren’t hers (as shown in ‘take my soul, not my body’) but in times of need she is more than willing to step over this; she also dislike not being listened, being disrespected or having someone disrespecting another person; and cauliflower.

▼ - childhood headcanon

Raleigh grew up in a loving home, her parents adoring her to pieces. They were young parents; Raleigh’s mom, Kaya, got pregnant not long after she left the Academy and Eric, Raleigh’s dad, took care of her as soon as he knew about it. He was a warlock too, but didn’t like that part of him a lot, so he soon found a job as a mechanic to support his little family while Kaya used her Future Sight to earn some easy money until she found a job at a library. It’s obvious there were some ups and downs, but which family doesn’t have them, right? Eric loved to take Raleigh visit Kaya at the library, letting her daughter to lead him where her favourite books were. Kaya taught her spanish growing up and Eric learned spanish too thanks to that. Sometimes they used to get their stuff and go to the park, having a little family picnic. When Raleigh started showing up her magic at young age both worried she would have the Future Sight, and when she didn’t develop it - Kaya said it all started after their tenth birthday - they kinda threw a party. The days Raleigh doesn’t have nightmares, she always dreams about her childhood, of big meadows full of flowers, her mama’s laugh, her papa’s using his magic to play with her and both listening to her reading after eating her mama’s best sandwiches.  

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

Taking in count Raleigh thought she was going to die before her forties, she is loving so far getting old. It only made her more hungry of knowledge and she thinks she is at her best to finally help the rest to shine in their own areas of expertise. She also thinks she is getting sexier for some reason, at least she likes to joke about it with Misty and Cordelia even when she doesn’t truly believe it. Both think that getting older is doing wonders to Raleigh, so they kinda believe it for her. She was the first one to actually have white hairs, which only added up to that thought from Goode-Day’s perspective and suit her a lot. For the time being she is not looking forward and letting herself be, whatever waits for her the day she will become an old lady with all its letters, should have to wait there.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Raleigh is a champ when it comes to cooking. As someone that likes to eat and find food so enjoyable, she always tried to level up in her cooking skills. She doesn’t do anything fancy, she likes to keep the ‘homemade’ feeling in everything she cooks so it’s not weird to catch her cooking things for a bazillion. Mallory once joked that she had the spirit of an abuela inside and Raleigh joked that she didn’t because she was an abuela already.  At first, Wilhemina believed that it was luck that she made a good breakfast (in ‘take my soul, not my body’) but when she started to live with them in the Academy and was exposed to this side of Raleigh really shocked her. Misty is the happiest, because she loves eating as much as Raleigh but she only knows basic stuff; Cordelia always loved it, she always said that if Raleigh wasn’t a witch, she would have pursued a chef career. Raleigh also have tiny list in her head with everyone’s favourite dishes, so that way she can cheer them up in bad days.

☼ - appearance headcanon

Raleigh dislike her physical appearance a lot. Her body is covered with scars and marks, mostly because of her lost and gain of weight and all the times she harmed herself unknowingly in order to wake up from the trance her power put her in. She always tries to cover her skin as much as she can, it makes her feel both uncomfortable and self-conscious, but with time she is coming to terms with it. Cordelia, Misty and Wilhemina have been of great help with this, boosting her confidence so she can be more open to them. Sometimes she can’t look at herself in the mirror, hating the scar that cross her face. Only Cordelia has been able to make her feel better about that one, which is quite a thing since it was Fiona’s fault that she ended up with it in first place. Summer is like hell for Raleigh, hating how she can’t wear anything long to cover herself. However, she likes her hands the most, because they are bare of any marks; and she also likes her hair and eyes, because is a nice combination of her parents.

ൠ - random headcanon

She was -and still is- a fanatic of The X Files and the first thing she, jokingly, said to Cordelia that she missed the most was not being able to know if the show ended with the fifth season or it kept airing. When Cordelia told her that it did until 2002 + all the extras it had, Raleigh was even more sad that she won’t be able to watch it...until Cordelia told her that when the whole series got out in DVD, she bought them in case she returned and now that she was there again, they could watch it together. Cordelia stopped watching the show too, so she was up to binge watch everything again with Raleigh. In 2018, when Raleigh finally got a cell phone of her own, the first thing she did was put Dana Scully as her lockscreen and, as the disaster she is with tech, Zoe renew from time to time the lockscreen with new pics. Raleigh almost had a stroke when Queenie watched with her all Gillian Anderson’s filmography from 1998 onward. Once Cordelia started to talk to Raleigh again, she confessed that there were two new seasons of The X Files and she didn’t have courage enough to watch them without her. They ended up watching it once they started to ‘date’ again, being that one of their favourite dates.

[vroomvroombaek]

Like Strangers (pt.1)

Part 2 Part 3

A/N:I do not own the picture

Summary: After having given up hope on your marriage, both you and Jongin come to the conclusion that divorce is the only option. But at the poking and prodding of your friends, you decide to try and give it one last try.

Your plane finally touched down in Korea at about three in the morning and you tightly squeezed your eyes shut as the pilot’s final announcements began, resting your head against the window. The flight had been, to put it lightly, a long and uncomfortable one. The bratty, snot-nosed kid seated directly behind you had kept kicking your seat the entire time, the food had been cold and inedible, your neck was sore from an ill-timed nap and you could feel the signs of an oncoming migraine. Honestly, you couldn’t be home soon enough.

Home. The thought of it weighed heavily on your heart and you shifted in your seat, absentmindedly tracing the buckle of your seat belt as you allowed your thoughts to carry your attention away from the announcements.

Your short trip away hadn’t gone as well as you had hoped. It was supposed to have been an opportunity to get away from everything for just a few days—away from your boring regimen, away your studies and, as much as you hated to admit, away from your marriage. You had just wanted a small break, preferably at a sandy beach under the hot sun with cocktails beside you. It was supposed to be a way to distract you from thinking too much. 

Unfortunately, your entire stay at the resort had been cold, gloomy and filled with an unbearable sense of loneliness and guilt. With the weather not on your side, all you could really do was think, think, think.

You couldn’t help but feel like a horrible wife for having tried to run from Jongin. The regret of not having tried to talk things out with him more that night before you’d just got up and left had haunted you the entire time. 

You were both dreading and eager to confront him the second the two of you had a chance to sit down and talk. The miserable trip had left you with an uneasiness that scared you. 

To be honest, it wasn’t just the last time you’d seen him that had been bugging you. Things hadn’t been well between the two of you for a while.The last few months had been increasingly hard to deal with and you had to admit that it had taken a serious toll on your marriage. 

Between your school tuition and the bills, as well as Jongin’s growing taste for a lavish lifestyle, money had become tight over the years. You’d thought that things would have been fixed when Jongin had told you he’d had gotten an office job at a prestigious company. The money was good, so what would there left to fight about other than whose turn it was to wash the dishes?

Yet really, his new job had practically put your marriage in a coffin. It had started to leave him with a shorter temper and an unwillingness to so much as interact with you unless it involved convincing you to attend a work function with him.

Everything you did seemed to set him off. If you were speaking to him, you were smothering him. If you were resting from a long day, you were taking his hard work for granted. And you, having developed a short fuse yourself from months of arguing over the same things, became more sensitive—even the small details that had never bothered you about the man you loved began to annoy you. His late responses to your messages, the amount of importance he placed on his work, the way he brushed off plans to spend quality time together in favor of sucking up to his boss, it had all begun to be too much for you.

Nightly screaming matches over “this” and “that” would predictably end in you locking yourself in your bedroom and him storming out of the house to god knows where and returning at odd hours with alcohol on his breath.

You had pleaded with him to at least try to understand you, to hear you out. Yet time and time again he’d meet your eyes with silence.

A few days ago, the latest fight between the two of you had been the last straw.

You’d gotten back from a long day of classes. You were in your second year of medical school and were having your ass handed to you as of late. The library had more or less become your makeshift home. The feeling of insecurity that you weren’t ready for next year’s transition from lectures to the clinical world as a third year student would gnaw at your insides, growing stronger on a daily basis. 

Fortunately,an upcoming holiday meant you’d been given a few days off to stew in your insecurities without the fear that any form of relaxation meant that you were procrastinating on studying for an upcoming exam.

You’d slumped down onto the sofa the minute you stepped foot inside the house, covering your face with a pillow and hoping that the feeling of doom over your grades would cease. 

You heard the sound of keys jingling shortly after. 

Jongin was home. You heard him walk in and stop by the door, probably to take off his shoes. 

“Sorry babe, I don’t think I have the energy to make dinner tonight. Can we get take-out instead?” You muffled through the pillow, practically inhaling the pillowcase.

You could hear him groan from the hallway. “Y/N, I’ve worked hard all day. The least you could do is have a meal waiting for when I get home.” 

Your eyes twitched in irritation. Was he seriously expecting you to play the role of a wife from the 50′s? You tossed the pillow away and sat up, narrowing your eyes at him as he entered the living room.

“The least I could do? Do you even hear yourself right now? How about you stop to think that I’ve had a tough day too...Jongin, I’m exhausted right now.”

This had become so typical of him. He never so much as asked you about your day anymore. Before, he’d ask you about what you were learning and, even though he could barely comprehend what you’d answer, he’d chuckle at your passionate tone and tell you how proud he was. 

You’d given up hopes of having a normal conversation with him lately and had stopped mentioning your day altogether. Every time you so much as hinted at your tough schoolwork or strict professors, he took it as whining and would go into a whole spiel about how it couldn’t possibly compare to the level of stress his job was giving him. 

Jongin had always been your rock. These days, he just made you feel as though you were being weighed down by a rock instead. 

Jongin scoffed as he unbuttoned his jacket and loosened his tie. “Can we not get into this right now? My boss has been riding my ass all day and I don’t need your usual dramatics adding to my headache, alright?” 

You felt your face heating up as your blood began to boil.

 “What is wrong with you? You never put value into anything I do.” You stood up and crossed your arms, walking closer to him until you were standing less than a foot away so you were properly in his face.

“And what exactly is it that you do?” you shrunk away from his sharp voice, he’d never spoken in that tone to you before, “because all I see is me going through hell to pay for your tuition so that you can have some kind of future.” 

“Face it, Y/N, you’re nothing without me," he growled.

You were frozen in shock, the usual scent of alcohol on his breath making you nauseous—it had become so familiar to you that you had trouble remembering when he last smelled like himself. Was this really how Jongin saw you? The man who’d stood up in front of your family and friends and had sworn to love and respect you forever? 

Whoever this man was, he flashed you a cruel smirk when he saw the hurt expression on your face. “Not too quick to speak when it’s the truth, huh?”

He turned away from you and walked into the kitchen, leaving you to stand there staring at the wall. The sound of the fridge opening knocked you out of your trance and you took in a deep breathe. Saying something else right now would set him off and make this an actual fight. And you were so tired of fighting. 

Since when had you started walking on eggshells around your own husband? 

You ran a hand over your face, moaning. You needed a real break, not just the one your school had given you. If you didn’t get one now…there was no telling what you’d do. 

You followed Jongin into the kitchen and saw him seated at the kitchen table, wolfing down a poorly-made sandwich. He didn’t make a move to say anything and instead continued eating as if the last five minutes had never happened.

It was easy for him to do that because this form of interaction had become normal for the two of you. 

 “I’m…going away for a bit,” you whispered, the usual confidence in your voice having taken a beating from his earlier comments.

He stopped chewing and raised an eyebrow, but kept quiet. 

 “Just for a few days. I think,” you sighed, “I think we need a break. Just some time to catch our breath and be in a space where we're not always arguing.”

You braced yourself for his response and allowed yourself to be hopeful. This was it. He’d go down on his knees and he’d admit to what an absolute dick he’d been. You’d apologize for not understanding his own problems more and he’d apologize for not having been there for you. Things would work themselves out. 

Except he didn’t say any of that. Instead he shrugged. “I have a company party in two days. I can’t go alone, what would the CEO think?”

Your heard your heart shatter and you willed back the tears. He didn’t care. Jongin didn’t care that your marriage had gotten so bad that you wanted to leave. He just cared about his precious job and a CEO you’d never even personally met.

 “I-I’m sure you’ll manage. You always do.” You forced a smile and left him to pack, wishing you could clutch the broken pieces of your heart together and take away the pain.

You’d walked out the door with a passport, suitcase and a weight on your shoulders and now, you’d be going home the same way. 

The cue to open your seat belts brought you back to reality. You sprung to your feet and quickly grabbed a hold of your bag. Sticking out your tongue at the devil child behind you and ignoring the nasty look his parent threw at you, you fast-walked off the plane.

Immediately, you reached for your phone and dialed your husband. You’d informed Jongin when you’d be arriving back from your trip after you’d gathered up the courage to call him yesterday. He’d told you that he’d be there to pick you up. Things were terse between you two and he’d sounded so cold over the phone, but you needed to believe that he’d be waiting for you.

You needed to have faith in your husband.

Your call immediately hit his voicemail so you sent him a text telling you that you were going to head over to baggage claim before meeting up with him.

By the time you had collected your belongings and had looked around for him to no avail for a good thirty minutes, you realized he didn’t come and had probably forgot.

“Of course,” you muttered bitterly. You were a fool to have expected anything different.

You shrugged on your coat and wrapped a scarf around yourself before braving the cold and heading outside the airport. 

Fortunately, there was a single taxi cab waiting just around the corner. You rushed towards it and reached out to open the door only for someone else to beat you to the handle.

Great. Just great. There wasn’t another cab or bus in sight. You’d have to make a call to a taxi company and hope it sent one your way quickly.

You hung your head tiredly as the man in front of you apologized. You shook your head at him, refusing to make eye contact.

“Don’t worry about it,” you grunted through your teeth, “I’ll just get the next one.”

The man looked around, unsure. “Doesn’t seem like there’s another cab around. I don’t want to be responsible for a pretty lady wondering around in the cold when it’s this dark out, you mind splitting it?”

You raised you head in surprise and were met with the brightest smile you’d ever seen and a jawline to die for. “I’ll even let you get home first. It’s not like I have anywhere to be at this hour,” he added in a friendly tone.

You returned his smile, your heart warming at his kindness. “Thanks, that’d actually be really great.”

He opened the door and let you get inside first, sliding in after you. You gave your address to the driver before settling in, unsure of whether to say anything to the man next to you. He was dressed really nicely in what you could only assume to be expensive clothing and carried himself with an air of confidence.

He must have read your mind because he stuck out his hand, absolutely beaming. “I’m Jongdae, by the way.”

You shook his hand and introduced yourself “Are you usually this nice, Mr.Jongdae?”

He snorted playfully, “Oh yeah, this is a regular Wednesday for me. Pushing strangers into sharing a ride with me, I’m just desperate for human interaction.”

His smile got even wider at your pout and you stared at him in awe, how could a man be so cheerful and have such a wonderful smile?

Throughout the drive, he tried to make you more comfortable by asking where you were coming in from and whether you were simply visiting Korea or staying for good. When you told him you were back from a school break, he asked about your career plans and genuinely seemed curious.

You had to admit it was nice that someone was actually interested in what you were doing. It had been so long since you had freely talked about yourself to anyone other than your classmates without feeling shame that you hadn’t realized how shy you had become.

When you had blushed at his astonished praises after you’d told him you were a medical student, he nudged you playfully and let out a quiet whine, making you laugh. “Hey, don’t be like that. You should be proud, it’s really a big deal that you’re gonna be out there saving lives one day. No point in selling yourself short.”

You decided that you liked Jongdae, he was like a personal hype man. You found yourself really enjoying your conversation with him and didn’t even notice that you’d already arrived to your home until the driver turned towards you and asked for his payment.

Embarrassed at not having paid attention to the road and slightly disappointed that the two of you hadn’t gotten around to talking about him, you scrambled for your wallet.

Jongdae put his hand on your shoulder to stop you and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it. Besides,” he tapped the ring on your finger, “your husband is probably going crazy waiting for you. You shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

“Thank you!” you exclaimed, “but this really isn’t necessary. I have the money, I can pay.”

He waved you away. “I have a feeling we’ll meet again, Y/N. Maybe I’ll let you pay me back then.”

The taxi cab drove away, leaving you staring off into the direction it had gone with a grin. Really, who’d have thought you’d meet someone so nice?

Turning back to face your door, you felt your stomach twisting and turning, unsure of how to face Jongin after practically walking out for a week. Was he even home? Sleeping in his office when he was mad wasn’t too unusual for him, perhaps he’d been more angry than you’d thought when you’d spoken over the phone. 

You entered your home, turning the lights on in the hall as you did. You jumped in the middle of taking off your shoes when you heard the sound of glass breaking. You immediately rushed to find Jongin stumbling through beer bottles littering the hardwood floor. 

“H-hey,” he hicupped, greeting you with bloodshot eyes.

“Jongin...” You didn’t know why you were still disappointed after all this time, but you were. 

“I don’t wanna hear it,” he said, grabbing your shoulders for balance, “I’m too tired to deal with you right now.”

Instead of being there for you like he’d said, he’d chosen chicken and beer. He didn’t want to deal with you like always. God, why did it still hurt? You should be used to it by now. 

Not saying anything else, you grabbed onto him and helped him to the bed. He uttered a lot of unintelligible protests so you gave up on undressing him. Instead, you urged him to crawl inside and covered him with the thick blankets. Wiping his forehead with a warm towel, you left him to fall asleep.

You went back downstairs and began cleaning up the scattered bottles and leftover food, turning off whatever movie he’d been in the middle of watching. You grabbed a pillow and blanket from the closet and laid down on the sofa. 

You stared at the ceiling in silence for a while, only the ticking of the clock on the drawer next to you keeping you company. 

You don’t know when or how you started crying, but suddenly you found yourself choking on your own sobs. When did your marriage get so bad? Why hadn’t you done more to save it?

You were in hysterics, crying into your pillow so that Jongin wouldn’t hear you and come downstairs. Not that he would anyway, you couldn’t remember the last time he’d been there for you.

The familiar feeling of loneliness washed over you. You were alone. You were married, your husband was sleeping in the same house as you, but you were alone. 

When you had been on your trip, the time away from your husband had allowed you to isolate this feeling and you had thought that you’d simply been feeling it because you were physically alone. But clearly, it was exactly the same even with him here. You were always alone. 

You cried your heart out until the tears ran out and exhaustion put you to sleep.

You didn’t wake up until you heard footsteps down the stairs. You opened your eyes to see Jongin standing in front of you. 

You sat up, refusing to meet his gaze the same way he’d done time and time again.

The tension in the air was thick and it was clear that Jongin was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. A dark part of you was satisfied. Good.

He cleared his throat. “Listen, about last night—”

You cut him off. He didn’t get to speak. He was always the one talking, never the one listening. God be damned, it was your turn.

Your head snapped up. “Jongin,” you said in the most monotone voice you’d ever heard yourself speak, “I want a divorce.”