#White men and their audacity

[idontmindifuforgetme]

Every guy who goes on a date with me should be afraid they’ll end up on my Tumblr if it’s an exceptionally bad date

[bikananjarrus]

just had the most bizarre conversation with our hr manager. like bizarre doesn't feel like a strong enough word because what the actual fuck but yeah. call me baffled. call me flabbergasted.

[dust-and-grave]

i am so royally pissed off about how some leftist men are acting since election day. i've had multiple men this week tell me (and i've seen more telling other women) that trump has won so we need to get over it.

"he won, and there isn't anything anyone can do about it now."

"look, i voted against him too, but it is what it is. you need to get over it."

"it's gonna be a rough 4 years, but you'll live."

"you'll survive."

firstly, miss me with this condescending bullshit. people who are grieving the election results, people who are scared and worried about the future, aren't waiting to hear permission from you to stop feeling the way they do.

second, the stakes are so high rn. we've just been told that there's a high chance that everything is going to take a turn for the worse for a huge amount of people. women, lgbt folk, poc, immigrants, disabled people, poor people, elderly folk. i think anger and disappointment and sadness and grief are all very valid feelings.

if your response to people feeling despair about the results of the election is to disparage and condescend to them, to deny them space to process and feel, then i really need you to shut the fuck up right now. you do not get to dictate to others how they are allowed to feel and how long it takes them to process.

it hasn't even been a week since election day, for crying out loud! if you're telling other people they need to just be okay with the results of the election after less than a week, we all would benefit if you'd stop to reflect about why that is. why do you feel safe enough to say that to someone? why do you think you get to dismiss the concerns of others? why do you think you get to dictate to others how they process their feelings?

[tariah23]

He apparently has 2 kids with 2 different women and doesn't take care of either of them

Women, I will protect you-

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

The ghosts of penises past strikes again... twice in one month.

I finally had cut ties with M. Like deleted his contact info from EVERYWHERE so I couldn't dig it back out some time when I was feeling lonely and unattractive.

I didn't block him, because he hadn't been responding the last time I tried talking to him, and because I made a promise once to always be there for him if he needed me. He may have no sense of honor and he may never keep his word, but I'm not that person. If I PROMISE (rather than just saying I will) I fucking stick to it. I have too many broken promises and cracks in my heart from them to do otherwise.

So I'm sitting here one day chilling, working on some research, and I see the whatsapp notification on my bar. I assume it's this company that always sends me promos or a back up running. Nope, it's him.

He beats around the bush for awhile before making it clear he was looking for sex. And I said no, that he should remember my stance on casual meaningless sex. He suggested an ongoing thing getting to know each other. When I asked why he reached out to me when he could find someone easily to cheat on his gf with he gave me some bullshit. Then said how he didn't want to get back together, it'd take a lot of long conversations before we got there and I straight up laughed. For a solid 3 minutes straight. Then went why would I want to repeat the worst mistake I ever made. Not that he meant it -- those conversations would never happen unless he needed me to feel guilty about something and he was never going to want a relationship with me. It was the equivalent of the married man leaving hints he'd leave his wife for you if things worked out. I listed all the shit he pulled and he got mad, how it reminded him of how I'd berate him and never let go of anything (a, he kept doing the sane shit and b, funny how that's the same thing he said about all his exes to me way back when) and he'd just been thinking with his dick again and should find someone easier and thanks for the reminder. So I responded even his dick should have known better than to try to hook up with me after making his disdain for me clear, abd that he absolutely should find someone else bc not only did my mind not want him but I was bone dry at the idea of him ever touching me again.

Then I think he deleted whatsapp despite needing to talk to people in Europe, because his pic and stuff went but it didn't tell me I was blocked which it usually does, I think. Fucking coward.

So we'll see how long this sticks, as it's fine for him to ignore me but he can't stand when I don't want him. Hopefully forever.

Then I get a message yesterday. A guy I went out with 3 times in January or something. Guy wanted me to accept scraps of time when his wife thought he was with friends bc she wanted a don't ask don't tell. Even I had more self respect than that. Oh and he wanted a lifestyle partner, not a life partner. Not bc he loves his wife but bc he likes his life the way it is and if he could squeeze in some kink on his terms only, so much the better. I shot that shit down and called him out for being completely manipulative and selfish, qualities he thought he'd left behind and no, still the same guy he was when some other poor woman had to call him on it and I said so. I'm not shy.

He acknowledged I'd been right, apologized, asked to be friends first, and to unblock him on fet. I said I'd agree to friends, and he proceed to pull all kinds of manipulative crap in the course of one conversation -- still saying he wanted a lifestyle partner to which I asked why I'd want that now when I already turned down that same offer from the same guy months ago. I called him out on his refusal to compromise or adjust anything in his life, because I'm worth more than his leftover crumbs. He said how not many guys would drive out to the city I'm moving to and again I laughed -- does he think that a college town is devoid of men? No, most guys from the burbs probably wouldn't drive out there which is why I'm not dating at the moment and will find one out there if I want one. Fuck, with as young as I look I could probably have my pick of frat guys. I'm like that was manipulative implying I should settle for my last chance, and it wasn't subtle or accurate. Do better if you want to con me.

I'm so not interested in men. They continually disappoint me, with one exception who sadly lives too far away for more than occasional sexting and being an exceptional friend.

The ghost can start passing me right on. I can't think of a man I've dated that I feel the urge to test drive again. Thanks but I finally figured out that chasing my mistakes won't undo them and the time I spent is a sunk cost, and trying to recoup sunk costs has never ended well for anyone.

[lorephobic]

finally watched the ew interview and emerald was so brilliant and fascinating but i will never forgive this interviewer for having to ask EMERALD if he was pronouncing archie madekwes last name correctly (he wasn’t) when it is so easy to do a fucking google search

[comradecowplant]

50 bucks james somerton is on vaush or keffals stream within the week lmao

[hey-must-be-a-devilbetween-us]

whenever the girlies and the gays at the store say that mads mikkelsen just looks like an uglier viggo mortensen i can understand kissing someone so gently on the forehead and then throwing them off a fucking cliff.

[halechief]

claire + looking at francis.

[alethiometry]

what the FUCK do i have to do to make my dipshit coworker remember to RETRIEVE OUR CODE FROM THE ORG before he makes changes and deploys back into the sandbox because i swear if i have to comb through diffs across 4!!!!! orgs!!!!!! ONE MORE FUCKING TIME and waste my time investigating defect tickets due to his constantly overwriting everything i do i AM going to fucking SNAP

[hopelessgingerbread]

I am still stuck in the liminal space between the two but honestly? Self-deprecation will lead you nowhere. Learn to value yourself and your work. You can even go a bit overboard if you were raised as a girl bc I have a nagging suspicion that you might struggle with it more than menfolk do

newbie fic authors, shooting themselves in the foot: This fic is bad haha I suck at writing lol I am being mean to myself in the hopes that you will be nice to me but actually am dissuading anyone from even clicking on my fic because all I have done to advertise it is tell you why you shouldn't read it

me: I am King Big Dick of Fanfic Mountain and I have arrived in your fandom with the Express Intention of writing my Very Favorite Fics, which I will generously allow you to read. You're welcome.

[s3d-sd]

Men multiply, women don’t. If you sit next to a table with a single man there is a high likelihood that he will attract more. If you sit next to a single women, she may greet those that pass by but will continue to sit alone. Groups of women move together in packs, groups of men appear out of no where and make you wish you were any where else.

[rottenlittlefink]

Ahhh like… vent in tags i guess (i said what i said :3c)

[3moonfree]

BERKELEY LEAVE ME ALONE I DECLINED MY OFFER MONTHS AGO i DONT WANT TO TAKE YOUR GODDAMN SURVEY

[viennatodd]

when you tell them what your name means and they go "that's interesting, if you were [white ethnic group] your name would mean this instead."

I’m a broken record at this point but people messing up your name and not caring is absolutely a racialised experience. no one expects people to know how to pronounce names they’ve never heard before the first time they see them, but it’s an issue when they don’t care about getting it right at all (when, in contrast, people are generally very apologetic when they screw up white people’s names and they generally correct the error). there’s a generalised disrespect and disregard for the names of nonwhite people, especially if those names are non-European (which occurs interpersonally but also shows itself in discussions of public and historical figures). ask any given person of colour (including ones with European or Europeanised names) and they could probably write you a dissertation about how their name is responded to and how those responses are clearly calling on racialised scripts. no one here is upset over nothing.

[adhd-as-my-personality]

One of the weirdest things to me is how straight men go to other straight men to tell them what women find attractive.

My brother in christ, do you not see the issue in your ways?