#While I was drawing I was looking for references and the truth is I'm not surprised by what I saw.

[art-flordesalonviejo]

I just want to draw Caldarus with the farmer, I imagine he must have been feeling lonely all this time.

I wonder if a tree grew in front of it, if it is possible that over time flowers would have grown on its body.

[lambilegs]

best friend's older sister!sevika headcanons pt. 2

contains: modern!au, nsfw content (so minors/ageless blogs dni!!), cursing, reader is mentioned to have family issues, hcs + blurbs set pre-confession and post-confession, mention of spanking, strap-on sex (reader receiving), breeding kink, dirty talk, degrading (the word "slut" is used), humiliation kink, sevika physically teasing reader at family dinner, mention of smoking, reader's body is referred to w the terms "pussy" and "clit"

pt. 1

best friend's older sister!sevika who pauses outside her door when she hears the muffled noises of your crying, followed by her sister's voice. her eyebrows immediately draw in concern, stomach turning as possibilities run through her mind. you mentioned having an exam earlier this week -- did you fail it? was someone bothering you? did you need her to do anything?

when her sister's in the shower, she knocks quietly on the door, your call of, "yeah?" pushing her to enter.

once she does, her eyes immediately scan your face, looking for signs of distress. when she finds your eyes pink and glossy, a bolt of nervousness shoots through her, taking her off guard for a second.

once she swallows down the feeling, she tilts her head at you, leaning on the frame. "all okay?" she asks, trying to keep her voice levelled, not wanting to reveal just how much worry is stirring within.

"yeah." your mouth is twisted in something resembling pain, and she eyes you carefully as you sit up in the bed. "it's just, you know, family stuff."

she nods. she understands that, alright. most people would think that being the older of the two, she'd fight with her father less than her little sister, but the truth is that out of everyone in her house, they butt heads more than anyone else. she usually shrugs it off when anyone asks, with her most popular coping mechanism being fuming in her bedroom with a cigar while heavy music blankets over all her thoughts. probably not the healthiest way to react, but it's worked for this long. besides, she doesn't have the patience to sit at a desk and do that journalling bullshit her sister always prattles on about.

"sorry." she contemplates for a few moments on what else she could say to help, rocking on the balls of her sock-clad feet. all she comes up with is, "families suck," silently berating herself for being so incompetent.

but, at least you laugh, the noise a bit breathless, so sevika takes pride in that. "yeah, that's the understatement of the century."

"do you wanna, I don't know, talk about it?" just to ease the weight of the question, she mutters, "you know, I'm pretty good at belting insults at anyone who deserves it."

"oh, yes, I'm sure of it." you nod at the wall where the shower can be heard from. "she's told me how vicious you were in middle school."

she bristles, feeling her stomach tighten in embarrassment. she was a little asshole, alright, and she can't lie, her younger sister bore the brunt of it. something she secretly regrets now -- not that she'd ever admit to it. she probably never would've revealed it you in the first place if not for her sister ratting her out.

"well, I-- that was middle school. I'm not like that now."

your eyebrow raises, lips tilting up. "you know, some people would argue that who you are as a kid shows what kind of person you are at the core of it."

she scoffs. "who, freud? considering the other stuff I've heard about that guy, I think I'll pass on believing that bullshit."

"oh, c'mon, I can tell you all the merits about his theories."

"and while that sounds riveting, I guess, I'd prefer knowing if you... you know, need anything?" she shrugs, her eyes trained on you.

you smile softly, the corners of your lips crinkling. "thank you. I don't feel like talking about it much now, but I appreciate it a lot."

she nods, rasping on the doorframe, unsure as to how to proceed now.

"huh, someone's not really used to this."

she rolls her eyes, sending you a half-hearted glare. "oh, shut up."

best friend's older sister!sevika whose attention towards you is beginning to become obvious, even for you. she's started seeking you out instead of any of your other friends when she's looking for her sister, and when she enters the room, her eyes always flicker to you immediately. it makes you feel like a spotlight is casted upon you, your entire body, your entire being, reserved for sevika.

one day, one of the girls in your group leans over to you, her tone lowered with conspiracy. "you know, I think sevika has a thing for you."

your best friend groans, smacking her arm. "god, please! that's my sister, for god's sake."

"and? she's hot?"

her face morphs into complete disgust, eyes squeezing shut. "please, that's so fucking gross."

while you laugh along with the conversation, you can't help but warily glance to your best friend, mind whirring with thoughts of whether or not she's being earnest. you and sevika aren't, well, anything really -- at least not anything officially declared or acted upon. for months, it's just been tosses and back-and-forths of teasing and flirting. but, there has been no step over the threshold that divides you two between nameless, vague chemistry and the agreement to work towards a real relationship.

but, still, there is something there, and you cradle a hope in your chest that it'll turn into more one day, an actual thing that can be named. but, it's hard to feel positive about that outcome when you're not even certain if your best friend would approve or feel comfortable.

she meets your pondering stare, and you immediately backtrack, turning away so she can't read what's on your face.

a moment later, her palm rests on your knee and she laughs, tone as casual as ever when she says, "honestly, if anyone could tame her, it's you."

your lips part in shock, but she simply squeezes down gently before carrying on with the conversation.

best friend's older sister!sevika who pretty much wants to wring her cousin's neck out when she spots her conversing with you. well, it's not the conversing that's the problem -- she's not that crazy. or at least, she pretends not to be.

it's the fact that she knows her cousin hits on every one of her and her sister's friends, and she's clearly doing that with you right now, eyes half-lidded and voice lowered to what sevika hopes sounds more like darth vader than sexy to you. god, she nearly wants to kill her sister for being stupid enough to leave you alone with her. but, judging from her sister's shit-eating grin from where she stands at the food table, sevika suspects that it was intentional.

she tries not to crush her plastic red cup in her hand and send her vodka-spiked punch spilling everywhere. when her sister had casually mentioned last night that you'd be showing up to this family barbecue, sevika, much to her own embarrassment, had felt an immediate buzz of anticipation at knowing you'd be there. it's stupid, she knows. she's a grown ass woman, not some teenager -- yet, there she was, biting back a smile as she walked up the flight of stairs back to her bedroom. and when she reached her destination, she could barely focus, her thoughts straying to how she'll get a rise out of you rather than remaining on the toy she was meant to be building for the kid she babysits, isha.

she couldn't lie to herself about it. she was goddamn excited.

if only she had known how the day would wind up. it's nearing to late afternoon, and still, she hasn't spoken to you once. as soon as you and her sister had reached, the two of you had met with your usual gaggle of girls. and sevika hadn't been in the mood to entertain their giggles and leering stares upon coming to get you from them. and so, she waited. and then, you were dragged off to talk to her sister's favourite cousins, and then, to the idiot you're currently speaking to. a few minutes into what sevika hopes is a cringe-inducing conversation, her sister had left you to go to the food table.

she knows she has no reason to be jealous of her cousin. after all, look at the dimwit, she barely has game. she's so flashy with it, no subtlety. if you weren't the object of her cousin's attention, she might've actually taken some amusement in watching from afar.

but, no, it just had to be you. she can't even blame her cousin -- after all, you do look damn good, that's for certain. if this wasn't a family event, she'd be dragging you to the nearest corner, pushing you against the wall, and teasing you until you're a squirming little mess. god, she's just throbbing at the idea of it.

but, the feeling gets washed over with ice when her dumb cousin starts stroking her knuckles against your arm. stupid kid. and why are you smiling at her? do you not realize she's flirting? do you like that she's flirting? oh, now that thought leaves a sour taste in her mouth.

her composure snaps when she sees you laugh, and with a firm toss of her cup in the nearest garbage bag, she calmly makes her way to you. she knows she ought to be better than this. she should be the one with sense, with rationality -- the one who keeps her shit together while you become a fumbling mess whose feelings might as well be written on your forehead. that should be you. not her.

but, it's like her mind is working on overdrive, all her instincts honed in on making sure she takes you away and has you all to herself.

when she slides next to you two, your jump in surprise, looking up at her. her eyes rove over your features, drinking you in, wondering momentarily if you even realize how crazy you drive her.

"hey, sev, are you looking for your sister? because she's--"

"no," she cuts in, her palm bracing against the small of your back. "give us a sec."

"wha-- but, I--"

sevika doesn't give her cousin a moment to protest, firmly guiding you away to the front of her house, which has been left secluded now that people are eating in the backyard.

when you stumble into her back from her sudden halt, you blow out a frustrated puff of air. "what the hell was that?"

she feels her thick, dark eyebrows furrow, her gaze casted down on you, unwavering and focused. "I should be asking you that. why were you talking to her?"

"your sister left me with her!" you protest, your voice raising a pitch she'd find cuter if it weren't for the sour taste in her mouth.

"and? that makes you incapable of leaving a conversation afterwards?"

your eye twitches. "and why should I have left the conversation?"

sevika swallows, feeling her throat bob with the movement. if she acts like some jealous girlfriend, it'll be all too clear what it is she feels. and that's a bit too exposing for her. sure, you two flirt and push-and-pull, but it's something she could easily pass as a game if ever needed be. but, jealousy, disliking you talking to someone other than her? that's way too obvious, and there's no way of covering that up.

so, she takes a different route. "you know, if you're gonna be hitting on someone at this thing, it should be--"

"you?"

she nearly splutters, blinking hard at your growing smirk before continuing. "no. it should be someone other than the fuckboy-wanna-be relative who hits on anything with a pair of nice legs and pretty eyes."

your smile only widens and sevika has the sudden urge to bend you over her lap until you're a sobbing mess.

"so, you think I have nice legs and pretty eyes?"

"are you dense? how is that what you focus on?" despite the harsh undertone of her words, she can feel her body stiffening up under your watchful gaze, desperately hoping you don't realize just how badly she wants your attention. it feels pathetic, really, to be putting up a fit like this because just you spoke to someone flirtatious other than her. shit, she needs to save some face.

"yeah, because I think it's weird how you're dictating who I can speak to as though you're my girlfriend or something!"

"that's not how I'm acting--"

"yes, it is!" you scoff, stalking up to her and pointing a finger against her chest, the contact making her jerk back from the spark it leaves. "you wouldn't be this pissed if it was just about concern."

she's silent for a few seconds, her mind running through possible comebacks. the only one she can think of is a hard, "you don't know that."

you tilt your head at her, as though she's some kid in need of a scolding. it only exacerbates her frustration, causing it to flare up low in her gut. "well, if it's just about you being concerned, then let me continue talking to her. you warned me, I took it in stride, and if things go wrong, you can always rub it in my face late, okay?"

she sighs, beginning to regret having ever acted out now that this is the turn the situation is taking. you were supposed to take her words in, and do as she says. instead, you're arguing back, just like you always do. but, she knows that at this point, she'd be a hypocrite to complain about it. she knows it's why she likes you.

"you really want that?"

you cross your arms over your chest, and sevika tries not to let her eyes stray downwards. "is there a reason why I shouldn't?"

stupid mind games. sometimes, she hated being gay because of this.

she likes you, sure, but she doesn't have the patience to beat around the bush. which she's aware is hypocritical and stupid, considering that's what she's been doing this entire conversation. but, still.

so, she shrugs. "beats me."

your eyes flash with something, jaw clenching. sevika can't tell if it's a look of determination or anger.

but, what does it matter if you're spinning around to stomp back into the backyard?

she releases an exasperated breath, fishing for her cigarettes.

best friend's older sister!sevika whose voice makes you jump when you're stirring instant noodles in a frothy pot of water later that night.

"jesus, sevika!" you gasp, your other hand flying to clutch your chest. "what the fuck are you doing here?"

"it's my house, remember?" she dryly remarks, padding over to the fridge and grabbing a carton of milk. pinching the flap open, she drinks straight from it. you'd find it gross if it weren't for the way her lips wrap around the soggy cardboard material, the muscles of her neck protruding as she gulps it down.

when she bends down to put it back, you turn away, your stomach churning from how any bit of laughter is totally drained from her voice, leaving it flat and achingly unfamiliar.

you've felt guilty since the barbecue. sure, it's annoying that she makes demands of you without actually admitting her feelings. but, it's clear that she was upset in that moment. so, maybe you should've been a tad nicer.

"uh, sevika?" you meekly call out right as she's about to exit the kitchen.

she freezes in the entryway, casting you a sidelong glance over her shoulder, which is pinched from the strap of her tight tank top. god, you wanna kiss the indent it leaves.

"I..." you trail off, shifting side to side on your feet, the low bubbling of the water the only noise filling the room. you don't know what's too much or too little, so you mull over your words before tentatively saying, "you know, I'm not interested in your cousin. like, at all. I had no intention of flirting back with her, or, like, pursuing something with her."

she's silent for a few seconds, her eyes flicking away as her jaw tenses, which sends her cheeks hollowing out. you stare at her for a few seconds before focusing your attention back to stirring the noodles, needing something to occupy your thoughts other than the thick, stifling tension seizing the air.

finally, she speaks, her voice low but firm with surety. "well, I didn't want you to flirt with her... for reasons other than what I said."

your stomach tightens up in anxious, gut-wrenching excitement, forcing your mouth to remain in a clenched line. you know this isn't exactly a confession, but it's unspoken between you two -- what she means, that is. there could only be one reason other than concern that would explain how protective she was earlier. a reason that, sure, you're not certain about regarding the details or her intentions, but that nonetheless has you feeling like you could jump with the amount of energy surging through you at the mention of it. no matter how vague.

you can sense she won't say anymore, though, her body rigid with tension. so, to try to lighten the mood, your own body sagging in relief now that you two have somewhat made amends, you drawl out, "yeah, that much was clear."

she snickers, turning fully to you and propping her arm on the door frame. you expect her to give her own retort, but instead, she just... watches you. smirk slowly curling on her face, eyes crinkling in amusement, she simply stares at you.

after a few moments of feeling like the side of your head is burning from her razor-sharp gaze, you say, "what?"

the corner of her mouth quirks up further. "for someone who says it was obvious, that was a pretty big grin you had on your face just now."

you huff indignantly, ducking you head down to the noodles in order to avoid getting caught in your flustered state. "well, I'm just grinning because my noodles are almost done."

she peers at the time flashing over the stove before shaking her head and grimacing at the pot. "why are you even eating this crap at 2:00AM? we have actual food in the fridge."

"I was craving this," you defend with a squeak, shooting her what you pray is a convincing glare despite your heart racing from her earlier words. "besides, I didn't know if your family would be having the leftovers."

"don't be stupid," she chides gruffly. after a pause, she adds, "you know you're family."

this time, you can't resist the beam that overtakes your face, eyes squeezing in delight as your cheeks throb pleasantly from the joy embracing you. you've, of course, heard this sentiment from your best friend plenty of times before, but never from sevika.

"thanks," you murmur feebly, sending her a small, bash smile.

she simply nods in return, her lips pressing together as she continues observing you.

part of you basks under it. the attention of her focused grey eyes, the heavy weight of her gaze -- it all sends a thrill to you that's hot and burning, making you feel you're being revived from a lifelong slumber. how did you ever manage without the life-altering feeling which is sevika's gaze directed to you?

"so, I guess I should head up," she says, sticking a thumb behind her.

your body immediately tenses in protest. she can't leave -- not like this, not after this tender moment you two just shared. not when her presence here holds the contrast of warm assurance and ice-cold surprise that you're always craving.

a loud "no!" bursts from your lip as she's just about to turn.

when she sends you an inquisitive stare, forehead wrinkled in confusion, you feel your face heat up in embarrassment over your over-eagerness. but, it's too late to scale back, so you force yourself to proceed with, "I just-- why don't we hang out a bit? maybe watch gilmore girls. and, I don't know, share the noodles and, well, left overs."

her eyes widen, lips parting in surprise, and it almost makes you want to cackle. how could she even be surprised you want to spend time with her? are you just that good at hiding your want for her, or is she that romantically dense?

"um, yeah, okay," she says, a hand curving up along the back of her neck. "but, don't think I'll eat that crap you're making."

your shoulders ease at the joke, laughing as you wag your wooden spoon at her. "it's good, okay? I don't know why you'd deprive yourself of it."

"if I didn't deprive myself, I wouldn't have these." she flexes her bicep, and you try not to let your gaze roam over the toned muscle bulging out. no need to satisfy her that much. "and wouldn't that be a pity for you?"

you bristle, but still find yourself unable to quell the laughter that bubbles up your throat. "fuck off. my life isn't so sad that your muscles are my sanctuary."

"fair point -- maybe 'religion' is a better term."

ugh, her grin is infuriatingly coy as she heads back to the fridge, pulling out a tupperware, her veins bulging out as she grips it.

you want to fuck her so bad. and then, yell at her. and then, fuck her again.

"just, shut up and heat up the leftovers," you grumble, turning your back to her as her laugh, hearty and scratchy in all the right ways, flows from her lips.

honestly, the lack of eye contact is for both of your guys' benefit. god knows how you'll react if you see that cute gap again.

best friend's older sister!sevika who, after you two start dating, places her long fingers on your thigh when you join her family for dinner. she knows it's a bit evil of her, but she can't help it. your body is just so reactive -- a fact that she was delighted to learn upon your first time sleeping together. it just makes it so much fun to toy with you like this.

your leg immediately flinches when her fingernails skim along your skin, and she'd probably smile if she wasn't so well-trained in public play to know exactly how to keep a straight face.

but, you? she knows you're struggling. she can feel it in the way you shift in your seat, shoulders rolling as her warm palm flattens against your skin, her fingers sinking into the plush of your thigh. or how your body suddenly lurches forward when she suddenly pinches her nails into the skin, causing everyone at the table to dart concerned glances your way.

you sheepishly laugh it off, shaking your head and saying, "sorry, I, um-- I just got a weird shiver."

sevika honestly feels impressed that you're able to keep your cool this well, glancing at you with a raised eyebrow. she knows it probably goes against the whole supportive girlfriend thing, but seeing you manage to remain calm only makes her want to test you even more.

and so, she inches her fingers up so that they smooth along the tender skin of your inner thigh. you immediately stiffen up, your back straightening to an almost comedic right angle. sevika's mouth twists, trying to hold in a chuckle at how you writhe when her blunt nails begin to trace shapes into the hot patch of skin. god, she wants to dip her fingers in further, feel the tight heat of your pussy wrap around her digit as she pumps it in and out of you.

she clears her own throat to cut off her breaths from getting too shallow. god, she needs a cold shower or some shit. plus, the entire point was to get you hot and bothered, not her.

trying to gather her bearings, she presses her fingers into the sensitive area, slightly digging in the curves of her nails, trying to replicate she sharp sting you feel when she sinks her teeth into that spot before eating you out.

it seems se's successful, based on the way your legs shift again, pressing together and trapping her hand there. and your cute face is noticeably distracted, expression glazed over, lips hanging open.

when your fingers curl around her wrist, keeping her hand there, she smirks behind the rim of her glass, taking a careful sip before wrenching her hand free from your grip, continuing with her meal.

through the animated conversation her sister and old man are having, she can hear you grunt in frustration.

but, she doesn't even turn to you. after all, what would be the fun if she just gave you what you wanted?

best friend's older sister!sevika who shakes you from your deep sleep when you're curled up on the mattress in her living room, your best friend fast asleep on the couch. before you can mumble incoherently, your eyes barely making out her broad frame through the sleep-tinged blur, she presses a finger to your mouth, quietly shushing you.

you nod, your heavy eyes blinking rapidly to register what's going on. but, you can barely get a whisper in before sevika scoops you up, her strong arms easily carrying you up the stairs to her bedroom. you have to bite back a gasp at the sudden manhandling, though a spike of arousal zips through you from how easily she takes you to her bedroom, dropping you unceremoniously onto her navy blankets.

you frown at her, eyes sharpened into a glare. "sevika, wha--"

she plants her lips on you, crawling on top of you and pinning your body to the bed with hers. she's sloppy and ungraceful with it, shoving her tongue into your mouth and swirling it around yours as a hand slides up to loosely grip your throat.

"you didn't think I'd leave you hanging, did you?" she mumbles against your lips, her hand drifting down your body to start fiddling with the waistband of your pajama shorts.

"well, you already did once, so I wouldn't be surprised if it happened again," you murmur against her prodding mouth, trying to keep your voice dignified in light of all the pants and whines beginning to crawl up your throat.

"awe, c'mon, baby," she snickers, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your cheek while the rest of you practically combusts from the low, scolding tone she takes when calling you that. "even I have my limits."

and, oh, how fucking good it feels for sevika's limits to be broken, you think as she pounds into you with her dark purple strap-on, her hand over your mouth as she pumps her hips steadily, hissing whenever her bed frame bumps too loudly against the wall.

you wrap your legs around her, nails raking up her back as the toy plunges into you over and over again, stretching your walls taut. it feels good, so good, the dull ache of her nearly-too-big dildo making your entire pussy throb in a way that makes you feel impossibly full.

"listen to that," she whispers against your ear, the hot moist of her breath making you break out into shivers. "your pussy is soaking my new sheets. such a mess you're making."

god, you just leak even more from those words, the mix of your juices and the lube creating deliciously loud squelching noises in her room, only growing more pointed and firm when she begins to drill particularly hard, intentional thrusts into you. the movements have the bulb her of dick pushing against your g-spot with every rock of her body, and it sends a warm tingle through you, wrapping your nerves in pleasure and sparking them to life.

you whine against her hand, eyes rolling back when her cold, mechanical finger begins to flick along your clit. the cool, steel-hard texture of it against your swollen little nub has your body arching up, each brush and flick feeling so heightened through all the other sensations running through you.

"yeah," she chuckles darkly, grazing her teeth along your earlobe. "you like that, don't you? getting this pussy slutted out, having me fucking up your guts and making room for my babies?"

your hips jolt up at those words, a loud whine erupting from your mouth before you can stop it. sevika hisses at it, pressing her mouth to yours, her thighs smacking against yours as she continues drilling you into her mattress.

"be quiet," she rasps, her breaths shattering into uneven little pants. "you want everyone in this house to know what a slut you are? you want everyone to know you couldn't last a night in here without getting dicked down by your best friend's sister?"

you can barely respond, your entire body set aflame with the pleasure of her on top of you, surrounding you with nothing but warm skin, hard muscle and filthy, nasty little noises.

"ah," you moan quietly against her mouth, fingers tracing the indents your nails have left in her back. "feels s'good, I just-- I can't--"

"I know, baby, I know," she grunts, fingers wrapping around your jaw and shaking your face like you're her personal doll. "no need to worry your pretty head with talking, yeah? just be good and let me cream this pussy."

and so, you do. over and over and over again.

best friend's older sister!sevika who tries not to smirk too hard when her sister asks over breakfast why you're wearing a turtleneck in the middle of july.

[kyotosworld]

just confess already!

pairing: steve rogers x fem!reader 

summary: the team is sick of seeing how in love Steve and you are while you both pretend you’re just friends. 

(the office au: moments when the teams talks to the camera, like in the office)

warning: language, very cute confession at the end

word count: 1.3k

—

“..andd they’re doing it again,” bucky smirks at the camera before motioning it towards you and steve who were sitting way too closely for “friends”

you were both giggling and whispering about something he was showing you on his phone, before you noticed the camera and very badly tried to act normal by clearing your throat and refocusing on your computer.

steve’s brows furrowed for a second as he watched you leave, worried that he might have done something to upset you. before also realizing that the cameras were directed toward you both. leading him to return to his work in a similar clumsy manner as you.

steve could only hope that the camera didn’t catch how long and how longingly he looked at you after you left.

meanwhile, bucky was still smirking at the camera, “ you see what i mean?”

bucky of course was referring to the ongoing belief of everyone in the office—but you and steve—that you guys were dating.

—

“they need to confess already. i'm sick of the heart eyes,” natasha says before fake gagging. “but seriously, the only people they’re fooling are themselves.”

while natasha was talking to the camera, you and steve were in the office kitchen proving her exactly right. 

“have you heard the…rumors floating around the office?” you ask nervously, while holding a cold water bottle, and standing beside steve as he looks into the fridge for a snack.

at that, he froze because yeah he had heard them but he was also too scared to talk about it with you. then in an attempt to act normal, he hit the top of his head on the ceiling of the fridge. 

“shit!” he exclaimed.

“omg, are you okay?” you wince before putting down your water bottle and checking his head. 

he has his hands on the spot he hit like that’ll help ease the pain, which of course it doesn’t. so, in an attempt to do something other than just watch him in pain, you pick up your cold water, gently move his hands from his injury, and place the bottle against it. 

“there, that should help.” you say softly while still holding the bottle against his head. you’re too focused on easing his pain to notice the way steve is looking at you.

—

“oh those two? we’re still talking about them?” tony asks, “that’s old news. instead, lets focus on me–”

— 

“aww they’re soo cute i cant wait for them to realize!” wanda says excitedly with the biggest smile on her face. she’s a sweetheart.

—

“what, when did this happen? why did no one tell me?!” thor asked with a frown, being the clueless himbo that he was ♡. 

his smile reforms as an idea forms in head, “i must congratulate them!” he exclaims while getting up.

the camera follows thor out of the room and into the main office where steve and you were actually focused on your work for once. 

“CONGRATULATIONS ON THE RELATIONSHIP DEAR MORTALS!” thor yells as he pulls you two into a tight hug. drawing the attention of the rest of the team.

“what?” you ask, gasping but laughing when thor finally lets you out of the bone crushing hug. 

“you and steve! you know i always suspected, but wasn’t a hundred percent sure. why didn’t you tell me?” he questions, getting a bit sad again.

 this time steve pipes up, “you ‘always suspected’ what?” he asks in confusion.

honestly he was getting a bit nervous. you both were, thinking somehow your crush for the other got out and that’s what thor knew.  

but the truth surprised you guys even more, “that you’re dating of course!”

at this, you and steve look at eachother wide eyed and flushed for a moment before looking back at thor. 

“where did you get that information from, thor?” you ask. 

“well apparently, everyone knew but me.” he looks down, “no one ever tells me anything.” 

you guys look around at the rest of the team with surprised looks on your faces, “really?” steve asks, perplexed.

a collection of nods and “yeah”s spread around the room.

clint speaks up, “i honestly thought you guys were engaged already.”

—

after all of that, you and steve kind of avoided each other for a bit. feeling too awkward after the news you both had heard.

but that only lasted for about an hour before you both ended up in the break room at the same time. 

you walked in, distracted, looking down and counting the coins in your hand to see if you had enough for the chips you were craving. due to this, you failed to notice that someone else was in the room with you.

“oh, hi.” steve spoke up, surprised to see you. 

you jump and look up to find steve sitting at a table across the room.

“hi,” you stop in your tracks, surprised and suddenly nervous at the sight of him.

you both stood there for a bit, staring at each other, not knowing what to say.  

“soo–”

“umm–” 

“you go first!”

“no you!” you insist.

“i was just going to ask if uh we’re okay?” steve asks nervously. 

“yeah.” you reply quickly, “why wouldn't we be?” you ask, trying really hard to act normal and like you weren't affected by today's news in the slightest.

but of course steve saw right through it, right through you as he stared at you for a moment before responding, “i'm sorry that things are weird now, and it's all my fault and i totally understand if you don't wanna be friends anymore–” 

“what?!” you interrupt immediately, “steve, of course i don't want to stop being friends.” you say sincerely looking deep into his eyes. 

“and if anything, it's both our faults for being together all the time, no wonder they thought we were together.” you finish while pulling up a chair next to him. 

steve chuckles and shakes his head at that before getting serious again, “so we're good?”

“yes. we’re good.” you smile, causing him to do the same, “plus their assumption didn’t bother me too much…” you looked down as you said the last part.

“what.” steve’s head turns towards you swiftly, he couldn't have heard you correctly, right?

“what? it's not like you’re the worst guy ever. and i guess it's not the worst thing that they saw us as a couple.” you try to answer nonchalantly but are still avoiding his eyes. 

this time, steve’s lips upturned a little, noticing your nervousness, “so you think i'm ‘not the worst guy ever’ huh?” 

you look up and notice he looks a bit amused. “oh shut up, you know what i mean.” you playfully shove his side with your shoulder. 

“no no, i really don't. please. explain it to me.” he jokingly but also somehow convincingly insisted. 

figuring that you weren’t gonna be able to leave this place if you didn’t just admit it, you very speedily say, “fine. you’re an attractive guy and you’re funny and really kind and anyone would be lucky to have you.” at the end of that you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in. 

it’s quiet for a moment and when you finally look back at steve he’s smiling softly at you. “i feel the same.”

“you think i’m an attractive guy?” you tease.

“you know what i mean.” he whispers, still smiling.

“i think i do.” you say softly while leaning closer towards him.

but of course thor had to walk by right when steve closed the gap between you two. 

“i knew it! they are dating!!” thor yells as he runs towards the main office. 

[leighsartworks216]

I Heart You

Sylus x gn!Reader

I was struggling so hard against the abyss that is writer's block yesterday and then this suddenly came out of me

Warnings: fluff, domestic fluff, children, parenthood, silly, kissing, references to Sylus's Mountain Journey and myth

Word Count: 1,152

Main Masterlist

First Love and Deepspace Masterlist

Second Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

Something touches Sylus's face, undeniably the felt tip of a marker. It tickles his cheek. Stifled giggles tell him exactly who is behind it.

The marker clicks shut and he strikes, grabbing the culprit and hugging them close to his chest while they squeal with surprise. "What mischief have you gotten into now?" he asks, leveling a narrowed stare at his daughter.

She laughs freely now, with a smile so bright it lights up the entire N109 Zone. "None!"

"Oh, really? Then what's that in your hand?"

"Nothing!" she giggles out. She tries to throw the marker away, but his Evol catches it midair and brings it right back to him. "That's cheating!"

He chuckles. "You're sneaking around to attack a poor, defenseless man while he sleeps, but I'm cheating when I catch you red-handed?" He pokes the capped end of the marker to her cheek. "What did you draw on my face?"

She sits up, slipping down to sit in his lap. Maybe it's his fault for thinking it was safe to drift off in the living room chair, open and exposed for his devilish child to have free rein in messing with him. Tiny hands reach up to hold his face.

"You have to guess!"

"Do I? Well..." He pretends to think about it for a moment. Truth be told, he recognized the shape immediately, from a time years before his baby dragon was born. A time before she was even a concept. "Is it Mephisto?"

She giggles again and shakes her head.

"No? How about... a self-portrait?"

"What's that?"

"A drawing of you."

She shakes her head. "Uh-uh, not me."

"Is it a drawing of me, then?"

"Nope!"

He sighs, as though this game is simply far too difficult for him. "I need a hint. Can you trace it for me?"

Sylus gets almost giddy at the feeling of her little finger as it follows the drawn shape on his cheek. It's overwhelming, sometimes, the love he has for his little girl. An ache forms in his chest every time he remembers he gets to watch her grow up. He has to swallow it down even now to focus solely on their little game.

"I know what it is," he says once she's traced it twice. He smiles. "It's a heart."

Her eyes light up as she nods enthusiastically. "Yeah! Missus Staf- Stef-"

"Stefano."

"Stef-ano said that it means 'love' and that we should give the people we love a heart to show we love them!" She pokes his cheek, right in the center of the heart. "Cuz I love you!"

Sylus chuckles softly, heart overflowing. He hugs her to him again and kisses her chubby little cheek. "I love you too, sweetie. Do you want me to give you a heart?"

She looks up at him like the thought never occurred to her that she could get a heart in return. She nods. "Yeah!"

"Okay, but we shouldn't draw on people's faces. Give me your hand."

He uncaps the marker with one hand. With his other, her little hand rests in his palm, dwarfed by the sheer size of it. In two quick lines, a heart is drawn on the back of her hand. She turns her hand every which way to see it. She looks at it like it's worth a billion dollars.

The door to the room clicks open. "Sweetie, I told you to leave daddy alone while he's napping."

She doesn't process that she's being scolded at all as she climbs out of his lap and runs to the door where you stand, hand outstretched. "Look, look! Daddy gave me a heart! Cuz Missus Stef-an- Stef-"

"Stefano," you supply.

"Cuz Missus Stef-an-o said to give a heart to the people we love!"

You smile. "That's very sweet, baby! It's beautiful."

"I had to return the favor," Sylus says, showing you her own crudely drawn heart on his cheek. There's a knowing gleam in his eye. "You need one, too, beloved."

Your daughter is immediately taken with the idea. She grabs your hand and bounces on her feet as she drags you over. "Yeah, yeah! We should all have one!"

You sit on one of Sylus's legs as she crawls up into the other. He passes the marker back to her. "Not on the face," he gently reminds her.

"Right!" She grabs your hand to hold it in place (rather clumsily) so she can draw the heart. She tries to be more careful with it this time, to make it extra pretty. The lines end up wobbly and the heart is larger on one side than the other, but she beams at her masterpiece when she's finished. "Now we all have hearts!"

"Did you give uncle Luke and uncle Kieran hearts, too?" Sylus asks.

She gasps. "Oh no! They need hearts!" She scrambles off his leg, nearly falling to the floor in her haste. In no time at all, she's out the door and on a mission.

In the quiet left in her wake, Sylus picks up your hand and interlaces your fingers. He places little kisses to your knuckles. You readjust in his lap to rest your head on his shoulder, taking in the rare peaceful moment.

"Too bad she took the marker with her." You poke his bare cheek with your free hand. "I could've given you a heart from me."

He looks down at you with a smile. "It's still there, from our little roadtrip."

"I'm surprised you remember that."

"Of course I remember it," he scoffs. "We still need to go back there, after all."

You smile wistfully. "The tree..."

He nods with a hum, leaning down to kiss your forehead. "It's almost been a decade. We can bring her along, tell her the story about it."

Memories flood through you. Back then, you were both holding back, truth be told. Real affection hidden under teasing and banter. It was safer to hide under that layer of protection. You're glad you don't have to hide anymore.

You trace your fingers along his jaw to guide his mouth to yours. A kiss so sweet and simple, soft and slow. He lets out a noise of contentment against your lips. When he pulls away, he nuzzles his nose against yours, grinning triumphantly when you giggle at the ticklish touch.

"You can get back to your nap now," you tell him, voice just a whisper.

He shakes his head before you can get off him. "It's almost dinnertime. I'll help you cook." His arms wrap around your back and under your knees, lifting you effortlessly as he stands and carries you out of the lounge.

You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his cheek once more. "I heart you, Sy," you say teasingly.

He chuckles and rubs his cheek against your head until your laugh fills the air. "I heart you, too, sweetie."

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021 @angel-jupiter @thelittlebutton @pikachuzhc @pomegranatepip @cordidy @an-ever-angry-bi @thejysemongko @deusfoundry

[starkeygirlposts]

Boyfriend turned Step-Bro Rafe Cameron x Reader

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: You've been dating Rafe Cameron for 3 years, and one day Ward and your mom tell you they're getting married.

This is a snippet of a fic I'm going to see if I want to continue writing. Please let me know if you'd like it to be continued.

I'm not diving too deep on details or character traits in this, as it's just a blurb/idea for a full fic.

Trigger warnings: stepcest, underage, drugs, pregnancy

----

The Rafe Cameron who became your boyfriend when you were sixteen years old was not the Rafe Cameron who people referred to your step-brother at eighteen.

The complete opposite, really.

Your parents separated when you were in your sophomore year of high school, your dad moving across the country to California when he met his mistress on a business trip while you and your mom kept a tidy home. The affair nearly killed your mom, and she learned to lean on none other than your boyfriends dad.

Ward was the perfect fill-in for your mom for a while. She was just having a good time, she'd told you. "He occupies my mind Y/N, does that make me such a bad mom?" Like you being upset with your mother being however which way involved with your boyfriends dad was so out-of-this-world believable. Truth was, yes it made her a bad mom. Not just because it put you and Rafe in an uncomfortable position, but because you were struggling yourself after having your family as you knew it blown apart.

But she wasn't just "having a good time." Or rather, maybe she was having too good a time. Because on a Thursday evening at the Cameron's dinner table that you all had gathered for, Ward held your moms hand and told you all that they were getting married.

That day, your world fell apart, and Rafe started to become someone you soon would not recognize. Rafe's hand slipped from your thigh, gone the tender loving warm fingertips, drawing lazy hearts on your skin.

You looked over at Rafe before doing or saying anything to anyone else, and his eyes were higher than yours, connecting with his father's in an expression you could only imagine was pure hatred. Because Rafe could never live up to his father in any sense, and now he was taking away the one thing that kept his feet planted to the earth. Of course he was. You flinched when Rafe's chair scraped like nails on the tile flooring, as he darted from the table outside to his truck, leaving you to pick up the pieces. How badly you'd wanted to chase after him. But when your eyes connected with Ward's, the decision made for you.

You didn't even need to ask.

"Unless you want to live with your father in California, you and Rafe will stop whatever it is you two have going on." Ward had told you.

You looked to your mom as if she'd help you - feel some semblance of remorse for you. You'd met Rafe first. Three years ago. You'd been the only reason your mother even met Ward. But why should you be so surprised that what she wanted was more important than your happiness?

From that day, Rafe started slowly slipping from you. A hollow shell of the boy you loved so deeply and painfully. He'd drink himself to sleep every Friday and Saturday night, breathe cocaine on the other nights, and wave you off when you tried to ask him to slow down.

"Y/N, you want me to stop? To make you happy? What do you do anymore that makes me happy?" You'd touch his cheek and guide his head down to make his eyes meet yours, and you'd stare into them - hoping for a shimmer of your boyfriend to snap back and remember.

He'd shrug away from you, his hand brushing you off and leave you watching his back as he'd resume slowly killing not only himself, but you too. But his coldness didn't stop him from sneaking into your room past midnight to have sex with you. Not that you wish he'd stop, because you so badly craved his touch, eager for it any way he'd offer it. Mean, rough, kind, tender; you'd take any of him just to feel connected.

So when you'd texted Rafe to meet you in your room after dinner on Thursday night nearly one year after your world truly blew apart, hoping you'd get to him before the white powder did, he locked the door behind him and the black in his eyes told you he'd already gotten his fix. But your small hand came up to his chest as he approached you, seated cross legged on your pink floral bed spread, clutching the stick in your other hand. You looked up at him and when you locked eyes, he understood, because he took your hand from his chest and squeezed it in his own before leaning down to touch his lips to yours.

"I miss you, baby. My beautiful girl."

His breath was hot against your mouth, his scent so familiar and home to you. You couldn't stop the tears from falling from your eyes, your hand loosening from his hand to hold onto his forearm that connected to the fingers clutching your jaw tenderly but firmly in place, kissing you like he loved you again.

How badly you missed him, too.

"Rafe, please..."

Your hand falls and his breaks from your jaw, and you take this moment to capture his hand with your fingers and place the stick into his palm. His eyes break away from yours to look down at what you've given him, and you watch with tears streaming down your face as his brows furrow, his feet shuffling to back up and you brace yourself.

He doesn't do what you expect him to do, though. He stares so deeply down into his palm that when his eyes do reconnect with yours, confusion in his own eyes, his head tilting just the slightest and you're trembling, waiting for the shoe to drop.

"This...this is a -- you're..." His eyes screw up shut and he shakes his head like he's imagining things and he's crazy. "A baby?" He finally asks, looking up at you again and you can only nod.

"My baby?" He asks again, and you nearly scoff, because really? Was he kidding? Who else was sneaking into your room after midnight, invading your body and your thoughts?

"Yes, Rafe, I'm pregnant with your baby." You tell him, standing and he's still shaking his head, eyes bunching up as if he's being told the craziest thing in the world - because really, he is. But you've sat with this for the entire day and while your reaction wasn't as confused, you too felt the familiar disbelief.

You watch his chest rise and fall, deep breaths in and out before you're in a whirlwind and he closes the distance between you and pulls you to him, tucking your head underneath his chin, the back of your skull rested protectively in his large palm. His lips are at your forehead when he tells you

"I'm going to take care of it. They're not keeping me from my kid."

----

AH, what do you think? My ask box is open for feedback. Please feel free to use it to ask for what you'd like to see from this fic!

[uva124]

THE MOMENT WE WERE ALL WAITING FOR, FINALLY FINISHED THE DESIGN OF ASTER YESSSSSS ✨✨✨✨✨✨❤❤

This design belongs to the Wish rewrite called "The kingdom of wishes" (Written by @annymation and soon illustrated by @emillyverse and me)

Sorry for the delay, but this guy had so many things to draw and I also had a thousand ideas that it took me a while to capture them all (4 drawings wow, even I'm surprised lol)

Now after this introduction I will tell you the procedure of its design :]

2D MODEL:

-Maybe some don't notice it, but for the 2D drawing of Aster I didn't add many shadows, because in the classic Disney movies the animation doesn't have many shadows if we look closely, this is for several reasons (at that time they had to inking FRAME BY FRAME, can you imagine how much longer it would have taken to add detailed shadows? I really have respect for the animators)

(Here are some examples of what I'm trying to explain)

-As I said before, I didn't detach myself much from the concept art of the movie, I just added some other details that occurred to me, Anny and Emy.

-We decided that his cape would have the constellations of the signs of the zodiac (It was Emy's idea), which in the final result are on the cape, the constellations are noticeable more or less depending on Aster's mood.

-In the Wish rewrite it is mentioned that Aster's hair is like a candle (Reference to Hades) so I decided not to add the lineart in that part

His hair changes depending on his emotions, but not only that, but also his lineart, the calmer he is, the cleaner his animation will be, however with strong emotions (anger, sadness, nervousness) his details will be more neglected, especially when He is REALLY angry, by the way I made his hair look like a flame to give more drama to his design and also make a reference to Ember from Elemental

And as a final detail, the star-shaped gem that she has as a brooch changes color, just like her earrings.

3D MODEL:

-When Aster disguises himself as a human, his details on his clothes would disappear and the shape of his accessories would change to ones without a star shape, also the tone of yellow would look duller, you know so as not to draw attention (although he is dressed like a prince with a giant cape, the boy doesn't know how to hide the truth very well lmao)

-In general, it's just that the design becomes simpler, the only thing that changes is her hair that is no longer a flame, her freckles that are no longer little stars, her clothes no longer have so many details and her mark on her eye disappears(￣▽￣) .

By the way, I wanted to thank @the-autistic-idiot for giving us the great idea of ​​Aster having a star-shaped mark on his eye :D.

-Also, I think that those who have seen my other Wish redesigns are wondering why it seems like I had spit a rainbow at Aster's 3D drawings, what happened is that when I was painting my neurons said ✨Change your coloring✨ and well, The drawing in the end came out like this, although I honestly like it better, it better represents how I draw in a traditional way

Yes, basically the coloring of my drawings is as if a unicorn had spit on them lol

FINAL COMMENTS:

-It was very fun to draw Aster! The boy really has a lot of changes, but thanks to him I already discovered my digital drawing style so I am satisfied.

-Again sorry for the delay, I know that for many Aster must be their favorite character so I hope your wait was worth it :]

See you next time!✨✨

[thesenau]

Spoilers Beast Yeast 7-30

Kinda a random rant of mine that leads nowhere. If you're interested in that, then be my guest, lol. I'd appreciate some feedback too!!(≧з≦)

So I've finally scrambled my thoughts while drawing corrupted PV, and I've finally caught onto a revelation!!

Please tell me I wasn't alone with being SO CONFUSED during the whole episode. Nothing made sense, and it was getting quite boring being in the dark the whole time.

But I was also focused on WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK SHADOW MILKS intentions are in the first place. Because it all seems so.. useless?? Shadow milk is powerful as fuck so why he didn't just warp reality and sneak off with the soul jam confused me heavily. Like I know he likes to have his fun and I don't doubt he did all that just for shit and giggles, before running off with the soul jam but it all seemed so.. well not worth it? PLUS Shadow Milk cookie didn't even take the soul jam from PV after he corrupted so..???

But now I've finally brought all the pieces together. Mostly. As well as a sleep deprived idiot can...

Shadow Milks words were all mostly full of deceit and lies, that much even I get - but he kept being extremely possessive (?) of Pure Vanilla, like the way he kept referring to PV as his marionette, his cookie, and as his second half (and probably more nicknames I forgot about). But still, every "nickname" contrasts one another in a way, which you'd expect from the beast of deceit, but still.

So this is where the whole key(-hole) imagery in beast yeast episode 7 comes in and ESPECIALLY in pure vanillas corrupted form.

A lot of people pointed out how a lot of key-hole imagery was shown in the trailer, and now that I've played through every stage, I kinda see it myself, too.

I don't know why, but Shadow Milks gacha animation makes PV kinda looks like a key to the soul jam , which is probably referring to something else? Perhaps the soul jam and PV being some kind of key might lead to the sealing ritual, or if we're going off on SM's convenience, then probably some kind of knowledge SM seeks? Perhaps witch's magic?

PV's corrupted form having a keyshape just proves it even more why Shadow milk cookie would go through the whole trouble of corrupting PV (wich wasn't AS hard as I'm making it out to be (PV is extremly strong willed but SM is extremely clever too, so..)). Like I said, I don't doubt he wouldn't do that just for the sake of it, but still the sheer possessiveness shadow milk had whenever he referred to pure vanilla(compared to beast yeast 1-2), plus the whole key-shape/key-hole imagery tells me there's more to it then what meets the eye.

Plus, it seems there was some kind of "knowledge" shadow milk cookie that wanted to show Pure Vanilla (end of ep.7 quest "Goodbye Fools") or well shadow milk cookie SHOWED Vanilla that knowledge. Whether that truth corrupted Pure Vanilla because he couldn't fathom it or he was corrupted so that he COULD understand that truth, is still unclear, wich is why I won't explore THAT any further (,,・д・).

Anyways end of rant. Perhaps my words have some truth to it but it hasn't even been a day since the update so I might change my direct look onto the episode in a few days or something. I'd like some of your thoughts on the episode too!! (I know I'm expecting a bit too much since Beast Yeast 7 has been out for like more than half a day but still ヽ(；▽；)ノ).

[astraystayyh]

when you're feeling sad, changbin will do anything (being silly) to cheer you up!! fluff and comfort.

this was so fun to write, binnie is so iconic i wanna be his friend so bad. hope you'll enjoy <3 this won't make sense if u don't have some binnie references tho

"Baby, I'm home!" Changbin's voice echoes loudly through your apartment as soon as he opens the door. You bury your face in your pillow, turning around in your bed so he'd think you were asleep.

It's not that you didn't want your boyfriend to see you. But the day has been overwhelming, small mishaps piling up on you. And as trivial as it sounds, your last straw was not finding your favorite cereal in the cupboard.

You couldn't possibly tell him that you broke down crying for cereals.

Changbin comes into your room, tiptoeing to your side of the bed when he notices your seemingly sleeping figure. He stares at you fondly for a while, before leaning down to kiss your cheek. He frowns to himself, before repeating the action once, then twice.

So he wasn't dreaming- your skin is wet. He skims a finger tentatively down your cheek, and sure enough, he can feel the tears drying slowly on it.

"Baby," he calls out gently, and when you don't respond, he says it again, his tone a bit more urgent. "Baby!"

You open one eye to look at him, "what?"

"Were you crying?"

"No." your response is curt and Changbin stares at you pointedly. You huff, because he can read you like an open book. "Yes."

That's all it takes for him to slide into the bed next to you, placing his back against the headboard. He then easily manages to pull you over his lap- he's strong, and you are too tired to resist him.

"What's wrong?" he asks and you look up to the ceiling, avoiding his penetrating gaze.

"Nothing."

"Okay," he simply responds, grabbing strands of your hair in his hands. You watch silently as he braids them, or atleast attempt to, eyebrows furrowed in the utmost concentration.

"What are you doing?"

"Welcome to Changbin Salon," he grins, his voice suddenly high-pitched. You can't help the giggle that leaves your mouth at the absurdity of his words.

"Changbin Salon, you say? What other services do you offer?" you tease and he drops your hair, holding your hands instead.

"We can bring you food."

"Like what?" you smile a bit and he smirks mischievously at you.

"Chili chili crab crab."

"Not again," you whine, hiding your face in his broad chest. It took you three weeks to convince Changbin to not sing it anymore. And two additional weeks to get that silly song out of your mind.

"Say the truth. You just want an excuse to lay on my chest," he coos, hitting your back with his fists like a kitten.

"Binnie, you are insufferable," you laugh loudly, and his eyes soften at you. His teasing smile morphs into a genuine one, and you know that he's being this way just to cheer you up.

"Why were you crying?" he asks again, drawing soothing circles across your palm.

"Today was stressful, nothing seemed to work my way. And then, I got home and I was craving cereals. And there were no more cereals, so I started crying."

"So you were planning on sleeping hungry?! As if Seo Changbin isn't your boyfriend?!"

He's fully outraged as he picks you up, and your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, his warm hands holding your thighs with ease.

"But now we can eat together," you grin, bopping your nose with his and he nods, "what's my pretty baby craving?"

"You know, I think I really want to have that chili crab."

"Let's order it then," he smiles at you as he walks to the living room, "Should I do it singing?"

"Please," you giggle and he places a tender kiss on your forehead.

"Anything you want."

[whenmemorydies]

The legerdemain of racism: demands for season 4 of The Bear

Alright folks, this one has been sitting on my chest like a fucking elephant for the last week. It's a long one (when are they not, I'm sorry lol), so if you'd give me the grace of your time and eyeballs, lets have a cup of tea and do this.

Legerdemain: the magic trick

In 3x07 Legacy, we're introduced to the concept of legerdemain (French for 'sleight of hand') in the form of notes and drawings, etched into one of Carmy's notebooks:

Other possible definitions of legerdemain include:

'the skilful hiding of the truth in order to trick people';

'skilful tricks done as part of a performance'; and

'cunning, deception or trickery.'

There have been important discussions on this app about the concept of legerdemain in The Bear, and how Storer, Calo and co. appear to have peppered season 3 of the show with references to their own use of the concept in breaking the fourth wall, to comment on filmmaking, on cooking, magic, and perhaps, using the legerdemain of season 3 as a distraction while they take a dish their industry further in season 4.

Have a look at the below metas for some helpful background to what I'm talking about here.

Fourth Wall/Magic Trick Metas for The Bear:

@brokenwinebox's Fourth Wall (being broken)

@brokenwinebox's The New Paradigm

@thoughtfulchaos773's meta on the fourth wall

@currymanganese's Richie's journey is not over (on Richie being the author avatar for creator Chris Storer

@currymanganese's masterful consolidation of fourth wall analysis and their speculative analysis on the role of the Faks

@ago0112's analysis of the blurring of fact and fiction during the Ever funeral service

My post Richie and the viewer.

See also this beautiful reblog thread discussing how the creative decisions involved in season 3 have elicited sympathetic responses in the audience that mimic the emotions of the characters on The Bear, possibly contributing to a division in how this season has been received generally. Shout out to @moodyeucalyptus, @vacationship and @greekyogurttragedy for this generous and thoughtful discussion. And this insightful breakdown on the treatment of characters of colour this season between @hwere and @mxmajor + this discussion on the sidelining of Black grief this season with @melfinawins , @suellenalmeida and @moodyeucalyptus.

An ache: POC on The Bear

After I finished my first watch of season 3 (which was an ill-advised binge while recovering from the flu), I felt like I had sat through a year's worth of television. This was purely for the fact that I was emotionally SPENT by the end of it (still didn't stop me from wanting to rewatch the entire thing immediately - I didn't, thank god. Shout out to my nervous system for threatening a revolt and stopping me). Anyway this is to say, I had to really stretch my memory to recall a lot of the content in this season's early episodes. One that stood out though was the beginning of 3x02 Next.

3x02 begins (hilariously) with Syd and Papa Adamu fighting for bathroom time and then Syd leaving the apartment for work. As Syd makes her way to work, we hear Eddie Vedder's cover of "Save It For Later" playing, which @brokenwinebox has referred to in the context of the fourth wall.

We then leave Syd but get a tour of early morning Chicago with documentary-style footage of an array of workers beginning their daily grinds, preparing the city for its day. These workers are diverse in lots of ways including cultural background and employment, running the gamut from food service, hospitality, newspapers (shout out to the Chicago Tribune which will give The Bear its first review in 3x10 Forever), sports, etc.

What is striking about this beautiful opening to 3x02 are the lyrics of "Save It For Later" that are playing as we see all these hardworking people pass by on our screens:

We hear Eddie Vedder sing, "run away, run away and let me down" over and over while diverse, working class folks wave at us, the viewers. And if I'm being honest, in relation to people of colour and Black folks being represented on this show, this is a good chunk of what season 3 ended up feeling like for me (and undoubtedly, for a lot of other BIPOC viewers too): racialised people waving, hailing the creators behind this show, and screaming DON'T LET US DOWN, DON'T RUN AWAY FROM US. WHY THE FUCK SHOULD WE SUFFER LIKE THIS?

And then we get the remainder of 3x02, which myself and others have described as having two too many Faks and one too many unnecessary conversations about Claire in lieu of the attention that should have been paid to Marcus and the loss of his mother. Where the fuck was Chester, who looked after Mrs Brooks when Marcus was in Copenhagen? I needed to see their sweet friendship in that episode and was actually blown away when we got none of it.

And things got progressively worse from there.

In this pre-season 3 meta on The Bear, I spoke about how part of the tragedy of Carmy's fridge spiral was the (white) saviourism of his speech to Tina ("I failed you guys") which rubbed me all sorts of wrong ways given that the largely POC crew rallied and turned Friends and Family into a success while our man was stuck in the fridge. White saviourism can also be described as the trope of the 'white man's burden' (itself named after the Rudyard Kipling poem written as a justification for European imperial conquest of the Global South).

I'm not saying that the white saviourism here is intentional or that Carmy would even identify his behaviour in this way (unconscious biases are just that - unconscious - after all). But Carm is the product of the fine dining industry which is predominantly white. His access to those fancy kitchens was predicated on the fact that his family owned their own restaurant to begin with. That access would have been dictated by privilege and power which are inextricably tied to things like race, class, gender, ability etc. Marcus got his start in the culinary world via McDonalds while his single mum busted her ass looking after him. As far as we know, Syd had no connections in the culinary world before she embarked on her career and she's got the imposter syndrome to show for it (this is part of why I will fight to the death anyone who slags her off, she's too precious to me). 3x06 Napkins gave us huge insight into Tina's journey to fine dining which was also not easy. Likewise in 3x07 Legacy when Ted Fak (?!) gives Sweeps the latter's "I know who you are" moment. I'm still waiting on the origin stories of Ebra, Manny and Angel.

These differences between Carmy's journey and those of the characters of colour on this show matter and it was heartening to me to know that the writers of The Bear thought they mattered enough that they made them canon. These stories make it clear that of all of the people at The Beef and then The Bear, Carmy is likely the person with the most race and class privilege. And sometimes, the man acted like it! (e.g. Carmy disregarding all the work put in by the largely POC crew after he got locked in the walk in, dismissing their victorious service led by Sydney and Richie in 2x10 when he talked to Tina. He'd do this again when he spoke to Sydney in 3x01 and she has to remind him that everyone helped get the restaurant through Friends and Family).

Let me be clear: I wasn't and am still not mad that Carmy becomes an entitled, privileged little shit when the shit hits the fan. This is all in character for him (he's been this way since season 1 folks - recall 1x07 The Review).

I even expected the white saviourism to shoot itself into the stratosphere in season 3 while Carmy entered Michelin Mode. Because that is how this white man has been trained (in a largely white industry) to operate in a high pressure culinary setting that prioritises the reputation (and the glory) of the EC at the cost of everyone under them. Add to that Carmy's clear trauma, his learned behaviours from dealing with an abusive mother and absent father, his discordant relationships with his parentified siblings, his psychotic ex-boss, his grief...I was certain the man was going to be a hot, dysregulated mess for at least part of this season. And he was.

BUT...

What I wasn't counting on was the overabundance of the Faks (I am still not over John fucking Cena taking up screen time on this show OR that it was Neil and Ted at the end of 3x08 Ice Chips, visiting Nat and Donna after Nat's delivery), and the overabundance of Claire content, while we had the season running away from our characters of colour.

Sydney spent most of season 3 mediating between two dysregulated white guys (Richie and Carmy - though her character didn't do this without a fight, a la "I'm not your fucking babysitter" in 3x03 Doors) and being subjected to Carmy's tirades all through service and prep, without much exposition at all about her and her motivations for staying at The Bear (we get a glimpse - a beautiful one that absolutely devastated me - just before her panic attack in the season's last episode 3x10). We even had Marcus in 3x03 Doors (this particular choice PISSED me all the way off given the absolute lack of care given to this character and the passing of his mother in the same episode) pushing both the Magical Negro trope and the white man's burden trope as he tells Carmy to "take us there Bear": a plea to Carm to make the restaurant work for the crew's sake. In 3x05 Children, we get Carmy treating Ebra like an actual Magical Negro in one of the few exchanges between the two of them this season, when Carm asks Ebra, "Am I fucking this up?" about, well - in a moment I'd like to think was fourth wall knocking - this entire season/the operation of the restaurant.

@kensatou in this brilliant gifset (of one of the funniest bits this season) also points out how the restaurant is contributing to the gentrification of its neighbourhood, further driving the restaurant and us viewers towards an increasing whitening of the world of The Bear.

Then we've got one of the most frustrating aspects of racism and misogynoir associated with this show and a seemingly bewildering response from the cast and crew in tackling it: the INSISTENCE at different points in time by some fans of the show, the cast and the crew that Sydney and Carmy are platonic and nothing more. All the cues and subtext in the show itself, be damned. I won't go through all the arguments as to why this is bullshit but will say, many folks have talked about how many m/f platonic relationships there are on this show (Richie/Tina, Richie/Sydney, Marcus/Sydney, Marcus/Tina, Richie/Nat, Michael/Tina, Carmy/every other woman apart from Sydney etc). There’s no shortage so why are folks so pressed with Sydcarmy? *cough* anti-black racism and misogynoir is why *cough*. Anyway...there's been LOTS of exposition about this on Tumblr by folks much more well-versed in this discourse than me. Just search the #sydcarmy hashtag for that brilliance.

Some (including me) have wondered why the cast and creators don’t directly address the obvious racism behind calls for Sydcarmy to only be platonic, or at the very least, just tell people calling for this to watch the damn show and see. Instead Sydcarmies were met with official denials of any kind of romantic relationship between Syd and Carmy right up until premiere of season 3. I know I personally felt that the insistence by the cast and crew to actively deny any romantic relationship between a Black woman and white man on this show was frustrating to the n'th degree. But then I jumped on Tumblr, as we do, and fell into the fourth wall, magic trick and legerdemain discussions and I got thoughts...if you're still here, I promise I'm almost at my point lol, stick with me.

Racism as the sleight of hand, white supremacy as the deception

The singular Toni Morrison famously described racism as a distraction (tres legerdemain-ish, n'est-ce pas?):

"The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language and you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn’t shaped properly so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Somebody says you have no art, so you dredge that up. Somebody says you have no kingdoms, so you dredge that up. None of that is necessary. There will always be one more thing."

The above quote is from a talk that Ms Morrison gave at Portland State University in 1975 entitled "Black Studies Center Public Dialogue, Part 2". You can listen to the talk in full here. A transcript of the talk can also be found here.

What if, the racism driving the anti-Sydcarmy antagonism and the cast and crew not addressing it or letting it fester is the point. Racism doing what racism does: distracting and deceiving. What if the pay off from this sleight of hand is that in season 4 we get what we know is destined to happen? An outcome based on the cues and clues that are littered throughout this show for anyone with a modicum of media literacy and without the blinders that a racist worldview grants: Sydcarmy.

And what about what Morrison said next in her talk,

"The distraction is no different than bombing Cambodia to keep the Northern Vietnamese from making their great push. And since not history, not anthropology, not social sciences seem capable in a strong and consistent way to grapple with that problem, it may very well be left to the artists to do it.

For art focuses on the single grain of rice, the tree-shaped scar, and the names of people, not only the number that arrived. And to the artist one can only say, not to be confused, [sigh] not to be confused.

You don’t waste your energy fighting the fever; you must only fight the disease. And the disease is not racism. It is greed and the struggle for power.

And I urge you to be careful. For there is a deadly prison: the prison that is erected when one spends one’s life fighting phantoms, concentrating on myths, and explaining over and over to the conqueror your language, your lifestyle, your history, your habits.

And you don’t have to do it anymore. You can go ahead and talk straight to me."

Now Morrison was speaking directly to Black artists, creators and thinkers when she gave the above talk but I would argue that all creators who are telling stories that feature people of colour, or people from communities that have been systemically discriminated against for whatever reason, have a responsibility to heed her call. Speak DIRECTLY to the communities you are representing in your work. And if you are doing your damn job properly in 2024, that is ALL OF US, in some shape or form. What Morrison is asking folks to do, is de-center the white gaze.

Ok so bearing in mind the above, back to the fourth wall, the magic trick and an invitation to believe. Recall this screenshot from 3x09 Apologies:

@currymanganese has theorised that Richie is the author-avatar for The Bear creator Chris Storer. Storer is partners with Gillian Jacobs (the actress who plays Tiff, also pictured here) in real life. In essence, we are looking at some version of "mom and dad" of this show (ideally, we'd have an avatar for showrunner Joanna Calo in here instead, but I'm working with what I got). After Tiff says "Well, I know my demographic" in the above scene, Richie/Storer stays looking at the camera long after Tiff turns away from it.

Let’s be real, in any other circumstance, if two white people were looking me dead in the eye and saying they knew who their demographic was, I’d be worried lmao. I'm still worried because for a white showrunner like Storer to even begin to understand just HOW paradigm shifting what I'm going to suggest below is, would be huge.

But...what if the demographic is us? The viewership that was drawn into this show by the unapologetic and unambiguous representation of Black characters and characters of colour in season 1 of The Bear? A show that had Sydney making stew and plantains for the family meal from the jump in 1x01 System, that had Tina calling Carmy a puta while next second claiming no Inglés, that had Marcus, Sydney and Sweeps code switching to AAVE with no explanation to anyone; that had Marcus lovingly applying Palmer's Cocoa Butter (iykyk) to his bedridden mother's hands? A viewership that includes many people of colour who have been so frustrated by the sidelining of the characters of colour this season because of the show's focus on Carmy, the fucking Faks and Claire?

Now there has been some analysis on the purpose of the Faks and Claire which has lightened my heart somewhat. But the treatment of racialised characters this season still doesn't sit completely square with me.

Do Storer and Calo have what it takes to do what Toni Morrison commanded and not be confused? To go ahead and talk straight to us in season 4?

Will they make things square like Carmy alluded to in his description of what he wants his legacy to be, in 3x07?

As much as I went into my issues with this season here in this post, I am hopeful. I love this show. I love how it deals with grief. I love the symbolism and the quality of the writing, I love the acting, I love the cinematography. I love the music. This thing is a veritable feast. And I know it can be yet greater, if it heeds Ms Morrison's demand.

There's glimpses that its doing this and hopefully, will take the thread and run with it head-first into season 4: at the end of 3x10 Forever who is it that brings all of us viewers back to the idea of chosen family (what the showrunners have said the show is actually about)? Which character is seen remembering the original crew of the Beef and their trajectory to the end of season 3? Who has refused to run away from them all throughout the show (and when she did, she came back)? Whose arrival at The Beef kickstarts this whole ride in the first place? Its the CDC of The Bear: Sydney Adamu.

If Storer and Calo want to take this legerdemain shit seriously, then season 4 needs to centre Sydney as the main protagonist. It needs to return to its characters of colour. It needs to paradigm shift the fuck out of this show.

We already got Ayo directing the season premiere for season 4. I am cautiously holding out hope for more of the same next season. Listen, I know I am asking for folks to suspend maybe everything we know about systemic racism in the entertainment industry here lol. But if this season has been about the suspension of belief and distraction, maybe Ms Morrison’s words are more prescient than ever. And if these showrunners are committing to the bit as hard as I think they are, maybe the final season of The Bear is going to be its best yet.

[soaringwide]

Pick a Card: Month Ahead #01

This was written for May 2024 but with the intention to be timeless, so even if you find it later there might be a message for your next month.

We'll look into your energy coming into the month, but also what will be the theme/area of focus and what you'll need to pay attention to, as well as the surprises that might come your way.

It's my first time doing a pick a card like this so we'll see how it turns out! I love doing those privately though.

As always, be mindful that this is a general reading meant for multiple people so it might not be 100% fitting for your situation, and that it's based on the energy you hold at the moment of selecting a pile that draws you to one of them.

PILE 1

Cards: Page of Cups, Queen of Wands, 9 of Cups, Ace of Swords, the Emperor, Strength, 5 of Cups, the Moon, Queen of Cups, 5 of Wands rx, Ace of Pentacles, 4 of Cups, Page of Wands

For your energy coming into the month, I see you being in a state of being in tune with your heart, opening up to the possible rise of a new romantic connection. I get the sense that you're cautiously optimistic about it, because while you feel confident within yourself and in a happy place, you're also aware that it's too early to tell. But you're not letting that deter you and you're fully embracing your own power, feeling good about yourself and where you're at while looking ahead hopefully and waiting for an opportunity to move forward. I think for you the process of the month ahead has already started a bit before the start of the new month and you're continuing the process.

When it comes to the theme of the month, I see the importance of putting your emotional fulfillment at the forefront and being actively working towards it. There is a need to bring clarity about the situation, clarity that will bring you contentment and tie loose ends. You will be determined to work through that with willpower and determination by taking the lead and stop wasting time around. I think you are seeing the path forward for this connection and you're determined to go for it and not let it escape. You got four cards here and they all represent a different element, which I interpret as the fact that harmony within and for yourself will be a big theme as well. Between your feelings, your thoughts and your actions, everything will be grounded in your authentic self.

I think these past few months have not always been great for you and you're determined to leave that behind and enter the new chapter of your life. You've learned all you had to about your old ways and now you're ready for a change. So for the goal you'll have in mind, you will be focused on not falling back into the same patterns of thoughts and behaviors and keep moving forward with determination and a sense that you can't go back to what you once where.

The challenge that will arise will come from your own psyche. I get the sense that you still have unresolved issues within yourself that may cloud this great picture, so you will have to be extra careful about not letting your fears and doubts making you spiral down and do or say something that doesn't align with your truth. You might go through times where you feel irritable or anxious and you may take that as a proof that things are going to shit again and you might want to run away, but it's an illusion. It just means that you still have some inner clutter to sort out. Be careful about not shutting yourself off from others as a reaction to your inner pain.

When it comes to a surprise coming your way, it seems there will be an event that will create a shift from a confusing and chaotic situation to one of open communication of feelings, laying out a more positive base for the future. I'm getting the sense that this is what the theme of the month was referring to, and while you seek it, you don't really know how it will unfold so it will still be a surprise when it happens. When this even happens, be as open and honest as possible in order to clear out any possible miscommunication, be kind and listen to what the other person has to say with empathy and love at heart.

What you'll have gained by the end of the month will be a stable and solid start towards the future. Things are blossoming but you'll have learned that there's no point rushing into anything and that things come when the time is right. You'll be set to build on that for the months to come. Maybe the start of a new commitment although things are in their very early stage.

As a final advice, it is important not to shut yourself off from your emotions and not to stay stuck in your old ways of remaining passive. Stay open and assertive, go after what you want and I get the strong message that you need to communicate openly about everything that isn't clear in this connection. Don't just wait around for things to fall onto your lap. Be passionate and enthusiastic and again be clear about your intentions. Also, you're learning something new and important so be gentle with yourself if you don't get everything perfectly from the get go, what matters is to do your best.

PILE 2

Cards: King of Wands, Queen of Cups, the Lovers rx, 8 of Cups rx, Queen of Pentacles, Ace of Swords, Memento Mori, 10 of Swords, King of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, 2 of Wands, The Chariot, Knight of Pentacles, 6 of Pentacles, 3 of Cups rx, 7 of Cups

For the general vibe of this pile, it feels a bit overwhelming like there is so much to pay attention to that you are somewhat disconnected from yourself as a result, because your feelings are so confusing that you get lost in them. There are A LOT of court cards, which may mean that there is a situation that brings the intervention of a lot of different people, perhaps it will be busy at work, or something involving family, creating a very messy situation where everyone has something to say and you can't hear yourself anymore. Really there is so much external influences here that I had a hard time picking up on YOU until the end of the reading.

For the energy you have coming into the month, I really think you are in a committed relationship with someone (and if not it's not your pile), but there is a big disharmony here. It seems one of you is on the way out of the relationship (represented by the King of Wands), and the fact that the Queen of Wands shows as a challenge later in the reading, I'm getting that this person already has someone in mind. It seems you are longing for the way the relationship used to be and it feels over, but you are having difficulties moving on right now. It's also possible you're just longing for the idea of Love altogether and wishing you could drop everything you have right now to run towards it. There is a choice to be made but right now at the end of the month, you are not making a move one way or another.

The theme of the month to come for you pile 2 makes a lot of sense considering what I already wrote. You will have to focus on your own clarity and get grounded in yourself, trying to find stillness in the chaos that surrounds you in order to get the answers you need, based on your own guidance. I'm also getting that you feel resistant to change and the call of life, and that you may feel a bit dead inside and numb as a result. There is a need to find excitement for the miracle of life again which has been lost due to your complex situation. ''The meaning is in the Middle'' is what's written on the card and writing down in case it speaks to anyone.

For what you'll consciously focus on this month, I'm getting just like...trying not to break down completely and at the same time keeping up with your demanding job and practical life issues. Perhaps this impending breakup is causing financial stress and you don't know how things will turn out. So your goal will be navigating that in order to stay on top of things both mentally and professionally/financially.

Okay this is where it finally clicks because I was confused whether you where the one with the third party of the one who is perhaps cheated on. With the King of Pentacles longingly looking at the Queen of Wands (the third party I mentioned before - don't take gender into account though) standing next to him, I'm getting that YOU are wondering how to welcome this new passionate connection into your busy life and how to make it fit from a practical standpoint with your current relationship. The Queen seems to be both a challenge and an opportunity, I don't necessarily get that this Queen is a bad omen, it's just a difficult situation that require a choice on your part.

For the unexpected thing that will happen this month, I'm not getting a particular event but rather, how it will change the course of what you're doing. This surprise will force you to weight your options and start pursuing what you desire, getting out of that rut you are in. There will be progress moving forward as I don't think you'll be left indecisive for too long. There is a sense of urgency here, whether it's perceived or true, you will feel it deeply and it will push you into actions. You will be surprised by how determined you suddenly feel after the indecision of the past.

What will be gained after the month ends is a newfound stability as you'll have regained your footing. From that point in the spread it's like things have cleared up a bit and there's open space. There is a new beginning on the horizon but unlike the urgency that led you to that point, there is now the need to take things slow and build strong foundations.

The advice you got was that, well, it's time to choose what you want to do with this third party. You can't keep holding things like that without making a choice. You might also need to distance yourself from bad influences around you like friends or family and again focus on yourself. The second advice is about restoring some type of balance between giving and taking. It seems someone has or will give you something and you'll have to give something in return so that not to break the flow of the relationship.

PILE 3

Cards: 4 of Swords rx, 8 of Pentacles, 4 of pentacles, 3 of Pentacles rx, 7 of Pentacles, 9 of Pentacles, 5 of Wands, 9 of Wands, Justice, 4 of Wands, King of Cups, the Moon, 9 of Swords, Temperance, 6 of Swords, the Fool

For your energy coming into the month, I see that you might have been feeling burnt out for a while now due to over-exhausting yourself with work or your studies, something you've put a lot of care and energy into in any case. You feel stagnant and somewhat demotivated and the whole thing is weighting on you. It's like you've put so much effort into working on this issue that you feel totally depleted emotionally. However, you can't seem to let go a bit in order to get things flowing again and you remain stuck, fearing everything is going to go to waste if you relax a bit.

The theme of this month will be to find your support system and reach out for help in order to get you to find new solutions to your issue. Not everything can be done alone. Furthermore, not every project can be rushed through all the time, sometimes you have to let it rest for a bit and let it grow under the surface of the soil. You will find great benefit from focusing on your own enjoyment and pleasure for a change in order to find a new perspective on your situation.

Despite that, it seems your mind will still be set on proving yourself this month. It's like, you feel burnt out and stagnant, and instead of getting the cue that you need to slow down a bit, you look at others and wonder why you can't hustle like them. Basically you're sensing there is an issue but you're trying to solve it in a toxic way by comparing yourself to others and feeling threatened by their success, triggering your self esteem issues.

The challenged you will have to face have to do with accepting to restore the balance in your life and take a break to have a bit of fun. Sounds like a false problem but it seems it's quite difficult for you to do at the moment because you're so focused on your tasks. It's a critical point though because if you don't cut off the toxic behaviors that are burying you into the ground, you will face the repercussions of your own non-action further down the line. You might have a hard time socializing because your heart is not there and you might feel left out, even though it would do you good to get a change of scenery and get out of your cave for a while.

For the unexpected thing that will happen this month, this will have to do with some type of emotional reconnection that will lead to more balance. It's very possible that it'll be uncomfortable at first as all the negative feelings you've been pushing under the rug all this time are resurfacing, but if you manage to stay afloat you will find a greater sense of mastery over them. I'm not getting anything precise as to what's gonna happen, but it will have to do with you being forced to take the blindfolds off and finally pay attention to your mental health. This might be the inner crisis you need to get back in a better shape.

What will have been gained by the end of the month has to do with leaving behind this way of doing and thinking you were holding onto at the beginning of the month. You will finally be able to get moving again, even if it will feel somewhat bitter and hard to do, remember it's for the better because you could not keep going on like you did.

The advice for you to help you navigate things is to not take everything so seriously all the time. Don't focus too much on what's not working or what you could do better or even on what you can't control, but try to find hope and the sense that a new beginning is at hand if only you open yourself up to it. Whoever is sending you this advice really encourages you to enjoy the little things and find your youthful spirit again. Things won't stay bleak forever so the best thing you can do is let yourself move along the stream.

[nenoname]

Journal 3’s references to Stan

(Is this just a chopped up version of a post i made earlier so i can experiment to see why it didnt show up in the tags? ....maybe

But hey now I'm transcribing it all so I hope that helps those who can't read Ford's handwriting lol)

Pre-Portal Ford

"I recall finding a shrunken head in the family pawnshop & bringing it to show-and-tell. Every other student brought a football, a football trophy, or a book about football. All of these objects were thrown at me as I gave my report. If my brother hadn't shielded me and punched one of the other kids in the nose, I might have spent the rest of the year in the hospital."

“Worst of all, I was born with a rare birth defect: six fingers on each hand. Although my family tried to convince me that this made me special (and it did help with shadow puppets)”

[Truth Teeth page] “It would be quite interesting to see what my brother and mother would act like while wearing these!”

[Dream Hipster page] "I tried to shake my hand to make it stop, and it fell off my arm! My hand grew and grew, and began to chase me! Suddenly, I realized my hand wasn't chasing after me at all- it was chasing after my brother; and it was going to squeeze him to death! It grabbed him and lifted him into the air. I tried to run to help him, but my feet were frozen.

Just when it looked like my brother was done for, the Hipster appeared, and said, "LOOKS LIKE YOU FINALLY GAVE YOUR BROTHER A HANNNDD!" The entire thing was just a setup for one of the Hipster's stupid snarky puns!"

“It occurs to me that if I must keep secrets from F, I might as well begin writing certain passages of this book in code. I aced Cryptology in college, so this will be fun! (At least for me. It would be deeply tedious and annoying for someone trying to decipher it.) It amuses me to think of their frustrating effort!” (ok this is likely for the reader and likely ain’t a direct stan reference. but like. it is to me)

(Caesar cipher) "I still recall that one summer Stanley and I hunted for the Jersey Devil in the Pine Barrens. Mom and Dad never believed that we really saw one...."

"Reminds me of camping with my brother. I wonder what he's up to...."

“When I sat down, [the fortune teller] quickly grabbed my hands and said, "What took you so long, Sixer?” I felt a chill run down my back. How she knew my childhood nickname was beyond me."

"It reminds me of the tree forts me and my brother used to build... when we dreamed of being adventurers...."

"I collapsed by the parking lot of the Twin Bed Motel. I stared at the word "twin" as I tried to catch my breath, and I realized that there was only one person left in this world that I could possibly trust with my secrets. I began forming a plan."

[Blacklight Hiding Places page] “Journal 3: The volume I hold in my hands. Describes my embarrassing defeat at the hands of Bill and the loss of my very sanity. Also contains a pretty good drawing of a plaidypus. Will soon be bestowed upon S and hidden at the ends of the Earth (I hope).” (he wrote the wrong journal to give to Stan lmao)

"Ironically, the only other person left that I can trust is the least trustworthy person I know. He is a thief and a charlatan- but a well-traveled one. I have no doubt that he is familiar with mob hangouts and back alleys the wide world over. He will find somewhere to hide Journal 1. I have sent word to him and now must await his arrival.

Perhaps he can yet prove his worth to me. Perhaps the mistakes of the past can be undone. There's nothing I can do but wait."

"The time has come to bury this tome. After that, all there is left to do is wait for S. And save the world. Or lose my life in the effort.”

Other sections: Post-Portal, Post-Weirdmageddon, Lost Journal pages + Ford's letters

[lunarcloak]

Blue Lock Chapter 266: Visual Storytelling

I did a similar post for Chapter 262 and people seemed to like it, and the poll I put up for a 266 interest check was overwhelmingly positive. So I'm back here!

Let's go.

Kaiser Impact. Magnus-- yes, but at this point it looks like he's taking a shot in the dark. His eyes are completely white, it's in perfect contrast to the last times where his eyes go completely black, with white pupils.

He's truly evolved, in the full sense of the word. The fact that the lines are thicker, darker, usually used for weight of movement-- as you can see in the shot panel-- are also being used for the face. It signifies weighted emotion, like he's really in a do or die moment right now. This means so much to him, and the fact that the face is DARKER than the actual shot itself means it's less about the technicality and more about the evolution it took him to get here.

AND HERE IS THE MAGNUS. This is where it's about the technicality. You cannot see Kaiser's face anymore-- it's not as important in this frame. Here, your eyes are drawn to the impact of his shot. In fact, at first glance, you could quite literally miss the ball speeding past Rin. Why? Because after that impact frame, the ball is no longer in Kaiser's control. He can only control it until the point where he shoots.

Secondly, I draw your attention to the rose petals. We've already established that it is his aura, but not how they are, again, concentrated at the impact point. Not the ball. This is partly to emphasise the speed of movement itself, and partly to reinforce the previous point. And tertiary notes are of course, the expressions on Rin and Charles' face being of pure shock. They cannot react, not with the speed of this particular shot. Only Lorenzo has been able to stop it, anyway.

He did in fact, make the air also his ally, but this is also the beginnings of the vine motif that follows the ball for the rest of this chapter. Notice how the air is curling around the ball, not in a streamline motion, but in the pattern of what will be vines later. It's already telling you that, while the ball spin is no longer in Kaiser's control, he's already done it. He's given it the impact of his shot. It's going to move exactly as he wants it to. (after this is Ness willing the ball to bend, which doesn't have any particular visual significance, but the boy deserves all the love <3)

And here the vines are fully obvious. That ball is bending exactly as Kaiser willed it to. But this is the moment of truth for him-- he's not Michael Kaiser, the NG11 prodigy, as he's watching the ball. He's Michael, the little boy who had a worn out football, and a dream. (I will remind you here that the last chapter's final panel ended with him referring to the ball/himself as a "piece of shit" again-- as he continues to refer as such in this chapter. It's signifying how he's ripping himself back down to the bare, barren life of a small child with a will to get away from the terrible hand dealt to him.)

The petals are still there, of course. No roses without thorns, no vines without roses.

I'm very intrigued by the silhouette behind the ball here. I'm not able to place exactly what it is, but it looks exactly like a woman's silhouette. His mother, perhaps? I will admit I do not fully understand why that is there, it must be linked somehow, but if anyone has any ideas they'd like to add here then please feel free to do so!

That's why the last row of panels transitions into small Kaiser from the back of current Kaiser.

This sequence isn't just to remind you of the beginnings of Michael Kaiser. But it's symbolic in that, look at the actual sequence of events. He kicks the ball at the wall, but it rebounds and hurts him instead. He gets angry, and he kicks it away again. But he takes a moment. And then he runs back to get the ball, and hugs it.

In the end, the ball will always be everything. He will miss, and he will get mad when he misses. But he will always-- ALWAYS-- pause. And think. And then, in the end, he goes back to the ball. Because the ball is his everything.

If you compare this to the sequence of this match's events for Kaiser, you will realise that it is a direct parallel. Albeit on a bigger scale-- the higher you are, the harder you fall. But that's the point. The fact that in the end he's going back to his roots. The beginnings of Michael Kaiser.

The next panel is, of course, his disgusting father. It's not really supposed to signify much by itself, but moreso leads up to the next panel. We already knew his father is abusive, but what we didn't know was the root of his dream and his ambition.

Note how here the moon is full. The moon is used as a symbol for a lot of things in fiction, but here I interpret it as the peak of his ambition, partly because it reminded me of a football the first time I saw it. The heights of his dream. To reach it, would be to reach the moon.

Also note how he once again refers to the ball/himself as "piece of trash" here.

Ugh. UGH. THE THINGS I WANT TO SAY ABOUT THIS PART. But I shall refrain. This is a visual storytelling analysis, not a character analysis.

His eyes are bright. Brightest we've ever seen them, actually. Because he's looking up at the moon, reaching out to it, reaching out to his dream. He's envisioning a world where he can get exactly what he wants and be happy. (Money, food, humanity, and the core of it all, love.)

The text "I want to be loved" is placed in a similarly 'dreamy' dialogue box. The kind that's used in shoujo backgrounds for the sake of "imagination". Very interestingly, it's placed directly on top of the path of the ball towards the goal. Even more interestingly, the vines aren't there at the beginning of this page's trajectory. They only start once we return to present time. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

The flashbacks starts, and ends with the ball's trajectory. The vines, however, are solely for the present.

Also, remember how he's reaching out upwards in this panel? Yeah. Keep that in mind. You'll know why in two pages.

The goal page itself is not particularly filled with visual storytelling. Points which are mentioned there are already spread throughout this chapter: vines coating the ball as it finally lands in the goal. But I want to ask you to note that, the side of the page is dedicated to people who are watching Kaiser. Rooting for Kaiser. I doubt that is the kind of "love" he needs, but it's telling that part of the celebration of the goal comes from the numerous fans watching him around the world, waiting for him to show them Michael Kaiser the prodigal striker.

Ah yes, the Kaisagi panel (I'm kidding). No, while this feels like total Kaisagi bait, it's also just... symbolic of their rivalry in general. Isagi has always looked up to Kaiser's football prowess. He's always known that Kaiser is incredible at what he does. He's marvelling at the fact that after everything, after all those failures, he pulled himself back up and scored an absolutely stunning goal. Note the colour of his eyes vs the dialogue. When they're entirely white-- evolution dependent- it's the fact that Kaiser scored a goal Isagi didn't. It's the incredible technicality of it (As someone who understands the physics behind it, yes, it is magnificient. Magnus-ificient? Heh.)

On the super star dialogue, however, it's just Isagi and his black hole gaze. The football player who has never shit on those above him, only ever looked up to them. Admired them, used them as role models for his own growth. He's calling Kaiser a superstar, because he is, but it's inspiring. He's frustrated, but he's also in awe. Those are the eyes of when he's just found someone new to understand and integrate into himself to become better. Of someone who's just found a new ideal to look up to.

Mmm. The vines and rose petals wrapping around Isagi, though? That is EXTREMELY Interesting. there's a lot of ways to interpret it. The fact that at that moment everyone was watching Kaiser's shot, under his control. Or maybe the fact that Kiyora passed to Kaiser and not to Isagi. Or maybe the fact that, in the end, the Emperor is always the emperor, and sliding the throne out from underneath him is simply not possible. It's the one shot Isagi can never actually copy, because Kaiser Impact has always been, well, Kaiser's. And so is the Magnus version. It's the one thing that Isagi will always, always stay below Kaiser on.

Kaiser's screaming, his eyes are still white. But they still have the pupil outline. It's his moment of pure evolution. He's achieved something he hadn't achieved previously. He's done something incredible. He's taken back his dignity and his power, reclaimed his identity as a star striker.

And, finally, of course. We have to talk about this panel. NO vines. ONLY petals. He's not restricted by the thorns clasping onto him anymore, there's only the blue rose petals of the impossible feat. As @/bachibachis had pointed out on one of the chapter reblogs after it dropped. He's pulling his shirt down. To showcase his tattoo, yes. But it's the meaning BEHIND the tattoo. A blue rose. Impossible. But it's exactly what he's always aimed for, to achieve the impossible. This panel also showcases the crown on his hand, for similarly significant reasons.

His eyes are blank. Entirely. Now it's not about the evolution, but the emotion. The last time we saw them was when he was in a fit of anger at Isagi's goal. Now it's catharsis. At his achievement, at the goal, at the fact that he's living upto the tattoo on his neck, the name, everything he's built up for himself.

His hand is reaching upwards, to the sky. For the far away dream of money, food, humanity and love. He's achieved two of the three already. But now he's reclaiming his humanity. Maybe some day down the line, he'll reclaim his love too. Any of you yelling about Ness-- I get it, I do, but you have to understand that Kaiser doesn't see it that way. He's never seen it that way. It's complicated. We will simply have to wait and see.

As for the rest of this panel, well, it's framed as though there's quite literally light shining down from the heavens for this man. Kaiser has always had a lot of religious symbolism, and I'm not particularly qualified to talk about them just yet. But this ties in to all of that, and more. It's about the fact that stars really did align for all of this to happen here, now. The fact that this happened in the NEL, and not the World Cup. The fact that Kiyora passed to him, and not Isagi. The fact that he finally had Luck on his side, and it worked out. The fact that Rin and Charles weren't able to stop it, despite being star players themselves.

The stars aligned, the light shone down from the heavens, as the fallen Emperor rises up once again, reclaiming the throne that was always his. He screams up at the very heavens that had forsaken him, years ago, as they finally let him have the moment of increduilty he's wished to impose on the world. To achieve the impossible, is to be Michael Kaiser.

What a stunning, stunning chapter. Thank you, Yusuke Nomura. Thank you, Muneyuki Kaneshiro.

And thank you, for reading my take on this.

[escespace]

Merlin And Arthur modern settings with a twist

Merlin walks into his trusted coffee shop. Locally owned, familiar customer service, he's known them since he moved to the city. Strangely there's someone at the cash register when he goes to place his order , it's not a place where there are lines or a lot of new customers.

He doesn't pay much attention until the conversation in front turns up the volume beyond what is normal for the quiet place.

"There is no way to screw up a simple order of black coffee and yet human idiocy ends up surprising me!" Said the burly blond who turns his back on him

"Hey hey! that's enough, My friend"

"Do I know you?" He turns to it and can tell that the front is just as impressive as his back had indicated.

"I'm Merlin..."

"so I don't know you"

And we know how this romantic introduction continues. The difference is that this time Freya, who is working the cash register, has been tired of the customer since he came into her store like a wrecking ball pushing other customers and ordering fancy franchise coffees until that after a lot of time wasting she forced him to make a normal request, then she decides to push the coffee in the hands of the unknown man as a courtesy of the house hoping that he would eventually go away (and hoping she would not have to intervene in whatever that pair is referring to by " Take You Apart" and "blows")

The unknown blond does not leave but has the decency to seem surprised by the attention he's been drawing as he retreats to the corner table.

Merlin is near the cash register to talk to Freya but it seems that the only thing he wants to talk about is the blond idiot, which tires his friend out. With a cake stuffed in his mouth she shushes him away, which makes him sit at a table with a direct view of the blonde.

From that position Merlin comes up with the brilliant idea of playing a harmless joke.After all, anyone who yells at the adorable Freya deserves it, right? I won't say yet what happens but it involves public wifi.

It's only when Arthur arrives at his apartment complex, where of course all his loved ones live, that he notices people looking at him strangely. Leon handed him a cream without saying anything when he passed by. Morgana can't stop laughing like a deranged hyena and Gwen is hovering around him like a disappointed mother, trying (and failing) to give him a lecture on safe practices (SAFE PRACTICES OF WHAT?)

After a while they finally take pity on him (more like they want to see his face when he finds out) and they show him a Twitter post he apparently made that same afternoon where he asked: "what could it mean if there are itchy welt near my You know?"

HE DOESN'T EVEN POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA

That one was definitely not posted by him. But then, what happened?

He delegates to Morgana the task of investigating what happened because he has no experience with technology and she has contacts. It is clear that someone entered his media but they doubt that it was only to post a silly message in an abandoned account.

The problem was that Morgana's contacts couldn't find anything even the next day. Luckily, Arthur was expecting it and didn't stop, instead preferring the old way. He checked the time the post was made and remembered that right at that the day before at that moment he was in the annoying cafeteria.

Surprisingly, the tall black-haired man is there again. And Arthur's not lying to himself, the back and forth he had earlier with that guy distracted him from the terrible day he'd been having, you could even say it was fun. He can go and bother him and do what he came to do, he is a multitasker and a skilled one at that.

"looking for trouble again?"

"That would be looking for you and, no thanks, I wouldn't disgrace myself that way"

...

"You think you're so smart but the truth is it takes more than just a quick tongue to get you far"

"You wish you could see my tongue being quick, my friend, you're not so lucky"

...

"that's not even a word!"

"Didn't you hear me say it? Let me repeat it, DOLLOPHEAD! That's what you are! "

...

And somehow they end up talking about why Arthur is there:

"Hahahaha! Whoever made this is a genius!"

"It's an eight-year-old's joke. It's not funny or stylish. Apart from that, this person entered my abandoned social networks, I don't even remember the last time I logged in... Who knows what else he has done with my data"

"You know what? I have exactly what you need"

He hands him a card that says "Golden Age: Private Investigation" and Arthur laughs

"What? You a private investigator?"

"If you don't want it..."

He tried to take it from his hand, but Arthur quickly put it in his suit jacket and, without stopping to stare at it, he walked away.

A week passed before he decided to visit the supposed offices of Golden Age and it was not in the least because of his problem with infiltration of his social networks. The truth was that nothing happened after the damn post. There was no missing money or corrupted files, and Morgana had her best technicians checking the devices associated with the organization at all times.

Before Arthur reaches the building where the offices are, he notices that there is a commotion in a remote place. There he finds Merlin surrounded by unfriendly looking men and what does the idiot do? He makes them even angrier with his mockery.

Arthur couldn't even get close because Merlin ended up showing them something from his phone. He held the device being too haughty and it seemed to be well earned given the cautious reactions he received

It seems that it was not enough because the next moment the thugs were advancing on the slender black-haired man. He was agile enough to get under the pile of arms but almost ran over Arthur, who was stupidly blocking the exit from the alley, before continuing straight towards the road with tremendous car traffic

Arthur will never admit that he was paralyzed when he noticed that Merlin didn't even take his eyes off his cell phone as he continued running. The thugs followed soon after, though not as nimbly, among the honking vehicles.

It was a miracle (more likely thanks to his obsessive observation skills) that he noticed what was really going on.

It wasn't that Merlin was a lucky bastard. The bastard was controlling the cars in some damn way until he finally reached the opposite end of the street Just as the police sirens started to sound nearby and the thugs had no choice but to start running towards a parked van

Now, now. If there's one thing Arthur is grateful for in life (and there isn't much of that) it's for making him smart. He's gotten to where he is because of his abilities, despite what anyone says, among which he takes most pride in his ability to recognize talents that would be valuable in his organization, and no matter what Merlin was doing he surely could serve well in the team.

Unbeknownst to Arthur, of course, that during the week he took to think about whether or not he should go to Golden Age, Merlin was also doing research and nothing he found about Arthur sat well with him.

This is then just the beginning of the most ridiculous and exasperating relationship of rivalry-friendship (and perhaps something more) between a genius hacker with a Robin Hood complex and a corporate who works on a line not very legal (aló? Mama? I'm in love with a criminal)

.

.

.

Holy heavens, have mercy on me and stop sending me ideas because I don't know how to write them!!! 😫😫😫

I swear that after so much thinking about this idea I already know what the first meeting between Arthur and Merlin's associates in Golden Age would be like: Lancelot and Gwaine (a disaster involving weapons and a very stressed Merlin). I also know that Arthur is in a relationship with Vivian at the time he accepts his friendship with Merlin for what it is (and neither of them like each other romantically at this point but they don't need to be in love to be their weird themselfs with each other) And VIVIAN BEGINS TO COMPETE ALONE FOR ARTHUR'S ATTENTION (She thinks she's competing against Merlin but the reality is there's no competition to begin with)...

Now now if only I could SIT DOWN AND WRITE INSTEAD OF FANTASIZING

[astrodances]

"Now I've had the time of my life No, I never felt like this before Yes, I swear it's the truth And I owe it all to you"

This is a very, very special drawing for me. ✨

In September of last year, I watched Dancing With The Stars' "Step Into the Movies" special again, at the end of which they recreate "The Time of My Life" scene from Dirty Dancing. And that sent me on a nostalgia trip back to my high school theater days over a decade ago now, where the drama club accepted my idea to do a "Time of Our Lives" theme, and a performance for that song à la Glee. Mind you, I was mainly the stage manager/techie sort, but I did some scenes for the showcases, and participated in this song with my then-boyfriend, along with two other couples.

And while we were hanging out in the green room backstage, a friend took some pictures of us. Including the one that directly inspired this drawing of Webby + Lena.

This started out as a memory remix of that photo, after watching the DWTS special, because I thought these two lovebirds would be really cute subjects for it.

But once I got going, it turned into a love letter, for many things.

As part of the remix aspect of it, I now picture myself in Lena's spot in the photo, getting to have the short hair I wish I had had back then, and getting to wear a suit and tie! (Yes, in the original photo, I am wearing the dress and red bow Webby's sporting here, and I have long hair. 🙈 Though I will say here that the little heart necklace she's wearing is exactly like the one I had, too! :)) Drawing this was really cathartic for my nonbinary self. 💜

And as for Webby, in this remix, she represents someone that, in retrospect, I wish I had shared this moment with from back then. In many ways, she really was the Webby to my Lena. 💜💖💝

(Literally) beyond the subjects of this though, this is indeed very much a love letter to a lot of things, to passions. The background is pretty much a replica of the drama classroom wall we were in front of for the photo, at least as far as layout goes, with a few direct recreations of things that were on the wall and on the table there. Everything else was me being a passionate (theatre) nerd.

(Details (many details) of said nerdiness and alternate versions below the cut!)

I've included un-blurred and background-only versions (and a version with drop shadow lines on the girls, because why not? it's a cool effect!) below, but I just want to point out the details, because I'm so dang proud of this.

The posters/programs for The Phantom Blot of the Opera, Featherspray, Chickago, and My Fair Dewey are obvious duck-parody references to their real-world counterparts (with the latter being the exact poster they use in DuckTales, in Dewey's dream in "Nightmare on Killmotor Hill!" So thanks, Dewey! 😂). The Featherspray one was also included because Hairspray was one of the shows we did in high school! And lemme just say, creating theater posters is really fun!!

The MJ the Musical poster and the half-shown Notre Dame de Paris "Duckbill" right behind Lena's head are particularly special to me, since they (along with Phantom) are my favorite musicals, and getting to draw those two was especially fun!

The L'Orange Theater poster in the top-right is a bunch of duck easter eggs in one - the L'Orange Theater is mentioned and seen in the very first episode of DuckTales 1987, and of course, there's Aquarioon from DT17! Looks like it toured in Duckburg a long time ago. 😉

And the sheet music is the DuckTales theme! (Or at least the left side of it :P)

The "Congrats" card, calendar (the whale for upper half was my own touch), folder, page of random backstage stuff behind Lena's head (which includes little Star Trek and Darkwing Duck references), and golden "Theatre" card (with my old director's favorite quote) are directly from the photo (or at least based on what I could see through its blurriness 😝), as is the very edge of a cast photo in the upper-right. The purple note (totally not with any secret messages whaaaaat) below that, the certificate of excellence, and the little pride heart pins everywhere are little garnishes/dedications. 😊

The stage/theater diagram below the certificate is really cool, because that's a direct recreation (+ another hidden message) of a project a friend and I did for stagecraft back in our freshman year - I was even able to copy my own handwriting for the labels! 😄😂

The "Time of Our Lives" poster is a reference to the showcase I mentioned above that inspired all this, though the real-life poster looked very different, from what I remember.

The green bag below is sorta a nod to the secret pal exchanges we used to do during shows. 😉

And finally:

The Glittering Goldie show poster is me just having an absolute blast drawing her once again and coming up with something for her Blackjack days! And bonus - I'll be posting a gradient-only version of Goldie tomorrow! Really happy with how she turned out!

And the "All the World's a Stage" poster is me combining all of my theatre nerdiness with my passion for space and a good pun! 😁

ANYWAY...

I learned a lot with this drawing, about creating and about myself.

And I just had so, so much fun with it - it was all love, all passion, all happiness for this one. 💜💖💝

Wishing the same for all of you. ✨

Love, Astro 💜

[cycat4077]

Gator's room: foreshadowing & clues

I went back to take a look at the scene of Gator in his room. While the "flag", girly posters, blaring heavy metal and handcuffs were an immediate stand out to all of us, I wanted to have a look to see if there were any other clues to who Gator is.

First up, here's his room:

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT FOR EPISODES 1-8

Let's look a little closer at the obvious foreshadowing.

Based on the previews and the Instagram post from the makeup artist (along with the subtle nods to Oedipus), it appears Ole Munch is going to torture Gator. We see him holding a knife to his eyes, and in the original trailer, Gator is bloody and blindfolded while being led by a noose.

Gator's own posters, decor, and drawings seem to depict this fate.

#1 The poster immediately behind his shoulder depicts a man with no eyes - potentially gouged out.

#2 The drawing below it has the eyes blocked out in colours that suggest necrotic (dead) tissue.

#3 The animal skull on his wall obviously has no eyes.

The Oedipus parallel and removal of his peepers were foreshadowed right in Gator's room from episode 3.

Linda's fate (mommy issues)

We learned in the last episode that Linda is dead. Roy tells Dot that he can burry Dot right next to Linda. When Dot confronts Gator and tries to win him over via his mother, Gator gets visibly emotional and shaken. We see hope and heartache run through him simultaneously. I think Gator knows instinctively that his mother is dead, but some small part of him hopes she is still out there.

I also think Gator's drawings depict his mother.

#1 This drawing not only depicts a person with eyes blacked out, but the drawing is clearly of a woman - possibly a corpse. She has breasts and long hair but is drawn in purples, reds, and blues; colours that represent bruises, blood, and dying flesh.

#2 The other drawing with missing eyes is also of a woman. This drawing once again has long hair, but she is smiling.

Perhaps Gator accidentally saw his mother's dead body. He has a drawing that represents a scary corpse (reality) and one that represents an almost comical one. Maybe the smile is how he tries to remember Linda - dead but somehow still smiling for him.

Other little things

#1 Robbed of childhood innocence. Gator's room is filled with "tough boy" items: swimsuit model photos, car photos, alcohol, heavy metal posters, etc. But he also has children's toy cars. The hot rod photos are in direct contrast to the toy cars on his shelf. The boy trapped inside the man. A boy robbed of his childhood by abuse and traumatic events.

#2 Jack Skellington. I'm probably one of the only people on the planet who have not yet watched The Nightmare Before Christmas, but the Jack Skellington parallels go beyond just the mask Gator wore. To me, it looks like he also drew Jack - and yet another reference to death. The skull's mouth is sewn shut too, just like Gator is sworn to obey his father and not speak the truths about what Roy has done.

#3 Red or Blue Pill? Again, I have failed to watch yet another classic film: the Matrix. But this poster seems to be a clear reference to it, I think.

According to Google, "The red pill and blue pill represent a choice between the willingness to learn a potentially unsettling or life-changing truth by taking the red pill or remaining in the contented experience of ordinary reality with the blue pill."

And if there's anyone with the last name of Tillman who will be forced to see reality (and potentially change), it is Gator. Gator will likely be forced this "red pill" by Ole Munch, either finally seeing the reality of his father's ways, or by becoming the next sin eater.

Whatever the outcome, the poster must have some sort of meaning!

That's all for now 😊 But I really love all the subtleties in this show! It's fantastically written and acted, and Joe is doing such an exceptional job playing this mutli-layered and morally ambiguous character of Gator!

***EDIT***

A post by @familyfriendlyhoho got me thinking about the drawing on Gator's wall. I was thinking that his drawings represent his dead mother, Linda and that he may have accidentally seen her corpse. The post theorizes that:

"I feel like Gator knew Linda was dead. but worst, I feel like Roy showed it to him."

And I think that this is the most-likely scenario. Roy is sinister enough to do something like that to his own son. I can imaging Roy telling Gator to stop being a loser and become a winner and, to drive the point home, he could have led Gator to Linda's corpse warning "this is what happens to losers".

If so, Gator's drawings would depict the corpse he witnessed. Even here, before Gator gives himself the "I'm a winner" pep talk, we see him glance towards the drawing - a reminder of what happens to losers. He then feels the need to convince himself that he is not one, despite what his father says.

[hoshigray]

Only You Can Tie My Hands | K. Nanami

Hear me out: Nanami returns home from work to his loving partner, and you happily welcome him. Taking off his blazer, led him to the bedroom, giving him a "massage," doing all the things to help ease the poor blonde of stress. But what does a "massage" entail, and why does it involve his necktie?

A/n: Although it may seem like I only write for Toji because most of the stuff I put out is about him (bc I'm his one and only domestic wife outside of his late one whom I respect), don't get it twisted!! Some of these JJK men can make me swoon just like him (Choso and Nanami, my darlings~~~), so I'm writing yet another lil something in honor of one of them! This draft was an option for a poll but wasn't picked for a drawing. However, that doesn't mean I can't post it at all sooooo you get a win, Nanami stans :D

Cw: slight dom! reader x Nanami - the reader is androgynous or gn! bc I wrote pretty ambiguously in this piece - slight bondage (you tie up Nanami's wrist with a ribbon cloth) - sex with a blindfold (using Nanami's tie) - sensual touching - kisses on the body - handjob - ball massaging - blowjob - pet names (Nanami calls you beloved, darling, love, sweet pea; you call him "babe" and "honey") - throatfucking kind of (??) bc you go at your own pace.

Wc: 2k

It was a difficult day, but that's usual for Nanami Kento.

Today he had meetings after meetings with many of his sorcerer subordinates, had to go on two missions, and, of course, had to deal with the ever-annoyingly casual Gojo Satoru.

Nothing he couldn't handle, but the poor blonde man would be a fool to say he wasn't exhausted. All he wants to do is be in his space, his home. He can practically feel the soft surface of his bed.

It's all he's thinking about when he opens the door to his apartment and crouches to take off his shoes.

"Kento!"

Okay, that was a lie. There was something else he's been dying to see once he left work. Something more precious than his bed.

Then comes you walking from the corner, and your bright smile was the first thing that captured him. It was filled with such a glow that his fatigue almost vanished there and then.

He offers a small smile and straightens himself to greet you. "Hello, my love."

Your smile beams harder. It was a good thing Nanami wore his goggles before removing them. You rush to kiss him, and he hums into your lips. Then your gleeful glow is substituted with instant worry. "Oh honey, what happened to you? You look as if you didn't eat anything!"

"I didn't," Nanami admits as you unbutton and take his tan blazer. He follows you to the bedroom, where you hang his suit in the closet while he flops onto the bed.

"Kentyyy~" You use his nickname before you lecture him. A smile quirks up on his lips because you're the only one who refers to him with said name, and he prefers to keep it that way. "You're so lucky I cooked up something. You know you have to eat!"

Nanami hums, readjusting to lie on the pillow and headboard. His eyes follow your figure sit beside him, a warm hand coming up to stroke his cheek. "I know, darling. I was just caught up in too much, is all."

And you know he's telling the truth. It's the fourth day in a row that Nanami comes from work looking way more exhausted than he'd allow. But it was worse yesterday when he returned from past daylight hours, surprising even him. His face still looks the same, but you can make out slight depictions of dark circles forming under his eyes and muscles tensing, not from lack of sleep but because of his body being worn out.

Despite your worry, all he asks is for you to stay safe and smile. And you do just that with a willing heart. Thank goodness it's a Friday.

"Well. since the weekend is finally upon us," a brow is drawn upwards from your building excitement. "I cooked your favorite: chicken alfredo. But!" You cheekily stop him from saying something because his mouth opens, yet no words dare leave until you finish your sentence. "With a bread bowl! And yes, the pasta isn't ribbon."

A chuckle is well-received as you smile harder. "Oh, really? Is that what you've been working on all day?"

"Uhh, of course!" You proudly huff as you lightly pinch his cheek. "You've been working too hard this week, so you deserve to be spoiled by me!"

"You spoil me already just by living with me, my love." He leans in to kiss you, which you gladly reciprocate. One kiss leads to two, and two leads to three.

You break the kiss when you feel a hand finds its way behind your head, giggling at his sneaky action. "Aht aht aht, can't go having dessert without a meal."

"Oh, I know," his forehead gently lands on yours, "but wouldn't you be so kind as to let a tired man like me have a little taste?"

The way his mocha brown eyes survey yours, practically begging you for any sign of yielding to his request, it almost has you drop your guard down. But something else comes to your mind, and you can feel your grin go from ear to ear.

"Perhaps I have an idea to relieve you from your stress, Mr. Nanami." You lightly push his back onto the headboard, your eyes silently commanding him not to move from that spot. He indulges as you get up and grab for something in the closet. You come back to the bed with a smooth ribbon fabric. "Please put your hands up above your head."

A brow is raised, yet Nanami continues to oblige your wishes. With grace and patience, you wrap the fabric around his wrists and tie them onto the headboard. Nanami now voices his thoughts. "Something tells me you're going to get more out of this than me."

You only giggle as you untie his necktie from his blue dress shirt. "I wouldn't say that when I haven't even started yet, Kenty." You then tell him to close his eyes and wrap the dotted material around them.

Completely vulnerable in his line of sight, Nanami feels the weight of your body dent the bed as you move from the side of him down to where his legs are. He feels your hands slide down from his chest in tease, fingers delicately tracing his abdomen after you unbutton his shirt to reveal his well-built physique. You sensually kiss his body as your hands roam to his tan pants.

His breathing goes uneven when you spread his dressed legs apart, leaving his clothed groin in your line of vision. He hears you hum in loving anticipation. Oh, you're definitely getting a kick out of this. The sound of the zipper on his trousers alerts him, and he'd be a fool if he denied the titillation brewing inside him.

As for you, the image of his hard cock in his briefs has you swooned. The urge to pounce him beats your head like a drum, but that will have to wait for later. Because right now is meant to be a moment for him to relax and possibly give you something to do after cooking all day. The groans from Nanami when you stroke his member through the underwear are so hot to the ears that your ass sways from side to side to ease the heat growing south.

When his length is set free, your breath hitches at the marvelous sight. Even after all this time being together, you can't control the arousing pulsation of your core that manages to creep up whenever you see his dick. It's good that Nanami's blindfolded because how you liked your bottom lip would've baffled him.

Speaking of him, the blonde isn't used to this. When it comes to intimacies, looking at you is the highlight. Watching you ride him while his rough hands propel you down to his cock, how your body struggles to take his fingers drilling inside your sensitive hole, or the beatific expression on your face as you beckon him to come close for a kiss as he drives himself deep within you.

Just looking at you as he does whatever with your body can drive him crazy. Take that away, and Nanami feels like he's in an uncertain territory where you do what you want with him. It's a rarity and totally out of routine...That doesn't mean he doesn't like it, though.

How can he, when he silently gasps for air when he feels a wet muscle slide along the underside of his shaft? Or when your lips place teasing kisses on the beautiful veins that decorate his dick? And, oh Lord, when your tongue laps around the tip, causing the man to bite down on his lip?

You laugh at his attempt to suppress himself. "It's alright, honey, no need to limit yourself. Let it all out." You coo at him as your hand snakes up to his dick as the other massages his inner thigh. Pretty fingers slide up and down the length, and the pads of your fingertips rub against the sensitive tip, causing the poor blonde to groan through gritted teeth.

"Haaaah, haaah—Hnngh!" You could listen to his whimpers all day. "Aghhh—Y/n, my beloved, you're so..." The way he slightly ruts his groin towards you is telling. You smile at him even when he can't see it, but he knows you are. He knows you're watching and listening to him dissolve into a mess.

"I know, babe. I know just how to make you relax, huh." The hand on his inner thigh moves to his sack as the other strokes the base. Nanami jolts at both your hands, sculpting his dick simultaneously as his mind runs in circles at the pleasurable torture.

When he senses your plump lips faintly kiss the tip of his cock, he knows he's too far in. He curses the restraints on his wrists and eyes because he only wants to see you take his length to the base right now. Now those thoughts are challenged as your lips take in the pink tip of his member and slowly inch downwards.

Your jaw relaxes while you take in all of him at your own pace, his cock sinking further into your mouth until your lips almost brush his pelvis. His penis pulsating inside your mouth and throat has you under a euphoric spell. You slowly bob your head up and down, putting your hands on his thighs to hold him down before he starts thrusting and screwing with your slow tempo.

Nanami does all he can to maintain his composure, but God, the feeling of your throat on his shaft is doing wonders. Not only do the inner walls of your oral cavity feel so warm around him, but the blindfold has him using his imagination of how you look right now. He can just picture your pretty hooded eyes looking up at him, gauging his reactions as your ass rocks to and fro, tolerating the neediness between your legs.

It kills him that he can't physically see and touch you; however, your fleshy touch, paired with his creative fantasy, is doing just as much. That is, until a hand returns to massaging his balls, urging him to hunch further. He's now close.

"Hnngh!! Oh fuck, fuck, fuck," If you weren't so full in the mouth, you'd giggle at the blonde's curses. "I'm about to—Mhmm! Oh God..."

You decide to help him in his release, slowly withdrawing his cock from your mouth and going for the head, your tongue lapping and licking in his most sensitive glands. Your hand on his sack kneed presses down harder, and Nanami wastes no time shooting his load to you. You happily take in his cum with your mouth, none going to waste as you're licking in any excess amounts.

Once he's done ejaculating and you're done drinking his essence, a pop leaves the mark as your lips leave his twitching head while you sigh blissfully.

Nanami breathes heavily in euphoria, "I thought you said...dessert shouldn't come before a meal."

"Don't question the methods of a cook, babe." you climb on top of him to undo the ribbon cloth on the headboard, your pants mixed with his. "So, I hope that helped ease some stress of yours."

"No."

No??

And it was at that moment you realized you probably shouldn't have untied his wrists first. Because one moment you're above him, your back sinking deep into the mattress the next. His hands pin you down by the shoulders, and a leg is positioned between yours, a knee rubbing against the aching sensation between your pants.

Nanami takes off his tie to free his eyes, brown orbs now cast with the intoxicating guise of lust and want. Your blood runs cold. Oh, I'm in danger.

"N-Now, Kenty, we shouldn't be doing this now," you try to plead before he does anything rash. "You have to take a shower and freshen up before dinner or else—"

"No, sweet pea. I don't think it's fair you get to have a piece of me, but I'm subjected to wait afterward to do the same." He removes your pants in seconds and sets your legs on his shoulders. Heat spreads around your face when his face draws near your opening, and you already have a hand grab for his hair in anticipation.

"Dinner can wait, darling. Right now, I just want you."