#Which tells me they are rather hard to come by
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Okay, seeing the one where we have to get permission to have a job is kinda funny. Especially since in the state I live, at 16 or older you're able to get a job without a parents permission. If it doesn't require extreme labor, NDA's, or requires being 21 and allowed near drugs or naughties.
So, what job was Reader going for? Secretary work? Lol, if we just decided to work at a cafe or something, we wouldn't have to worry about a permission slip.
Which leaves me to wonder, if Alfred set Bruce on Reader, but Reader said nothing and got a job? Bruce finding out Reader has a job, instead of just asking for money?
Especially if Tim recognizes Reader after getting a drink? But he's questioning why we're working there. He chooses to sit back and observe. Only to watch as an absolute Karen yells at Reader and dumps hot coffee on them.
oopsy poopsy i am NAWT familiar the usa child labour laws, but honestly imagined mc as just snatching the first job she sees, like yk when u apply for a bunch of jobs only for like the worst one to call you back?
like u apply for 30 jobs, each of them being like a barista or a cashier or something normal but the only one to reach back to u is a taxidermy LMAO (true story)
masterlist
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honestly, you getting some minimum wage job as a barista -- working in some relatively nice area of gotham then one day you just see tim.
just sat there, some over-expensive drink in his hand as he stares at you in confusion? why is his sibling working at a coffee shop? bitch, your dad is bruce wayne WHY are you working a minimum wage job?? if you wanted a job so bad, you should've applied for wayne enterprises or something!
he tries to talk to you only for you to ignore him, acting like you don't know him, it stings. you were preening for his affection a month ago, how could you casually just ignore him?!
whatever plans he had, cancelled, he spends the day sat in a booth, watching your every move. anytime one of your co-workers come up to him and ask him to leave he just tips them like $100 to shut them up.
then, he sees you handling yourself and sighs, maybe you're okay at this, it's good for you, as helpless as you are, to get some experience.
until a nasty customer comes in, shouting at you and berating you, all you can do is lower your head and apologise -- because it's a customer! you can't fight back because if you get fired you'll have to go job hunting again, you'd rather get beat up by damian.
but the sight of you, your head lowered and a frown on your face. well, tim just can't have you working in such environments, he'll just let bruce know.
you pull up home, you're tired from working a 9-5, you smell like caffiene and your social battery is in DEBT only for your father to put his hand on your shoulder and sigh,
"quit your job." he says softly, as if he's doing you a damn favour. when you obviously refuse, he says nothing, just sighs.
and then you pull up to work the next day and your manager tells you you've been promoted and will now work at wayne enterprises ?!
bruce bought the coffee shop just to have you work with him! isn't that great? he can keep an eye on you AND you can spend time with your family!! don't worry, he won't let you do any hard work, in fact, the only thing you're tasked with is spending time with your family !!
just remember to thank tim, he got you a better job AND he gave you oppurtunities to spend time with them, that's all you've ever wanted, right?
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if yall sent in a request i PROMISEE i will get back.. i'm just switching between writing the next chapter and giggling at all the nice things yall r saying >3>
#dc fanfiction#batman#platonic batfam#platonic yandere#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#platonic yandere batfam#yandere tim drake#yandere bruce wayne#platonic bruce wayne x reader#platonic tim drake x reader
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The Unexpected Move
Itoshi Sae x Suzuki Azumi (fem reader, y/n, as you like)
Synopsis: You and Sae were a couple a few years ago and as a result of that great love you had your son, but Sae decided to leave you just before you realized it, and you decided not to tell him.
Warnings: mentions of sex, English is not my first language, swearing, Sae being a jerk to you.
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Azumi and Sae met in Madrid, Spain. She was Japanese like him and was there to study marketing and public relations. While he had already been living there for a few years, chasing his dream of becoming the best soccer player in the world by playing for Real Madrid.
Azumi was 18 and he was about to turn 19, they were both neighbors. At first, Sae was surprised because she was the only Japanese person in the building, but after that, he didn't pay much attention to her. Azumi, on the other hand, was happy to have a neighbor who spoke the same language as her, but that happiness faded when, after trying to start a conversation with him several times, he only responded with what was necessary.
The situation changed when Sae was very sick one night and left his apartment on the verge of fainting, and being who he is, he didn't want to ask anyone for help. Luckily for him, Azumi was also leaving her apartment to get something to eat and found him in such a weak situation.
She helped him, told him to go back to his apartment, went out to buy medicine, and also made him a very typical soup in Japan to cure colds.
That was the beginning of their relationship.
They started spending more time together to get to know each other better. Sae stopped being so cold to her and started opening up more.
Although they were nothing alike, they managed to complement each other. Azumi had the grace and kindness that Sae lacked. And Sae had the common sense and selfishness that Azumi lacked.
Sae put aside his typical coldness, and let out a side that only his little brother knew. He asked her out on dates, he started noticing the smallest things that Azumi liked, he started inviting her to come watch him play, he started giving her things, and one night he told her to stay and sleep.
With him.
The stolen kisses began to be more frequent, the caresses, the hugs. Until the night came when both of them got to know each other's bodies in depth.
They began to live together on a daily basis. Their faces were what they saw when they woke up and when they went to sleep.
Sae would take her to college and he would go to training. Azumi would usually come back early and make them lunch, they would eat together while they both talked about how their day had gone.
Everything was perfect.
They lasted two years until Sae started to feel like he wasn't concentrating on his game. He was in a match and he was always looking to see if Azumi was in the stands and how she was doing. At first it wasn't that big of a problem, until his coach noticed.
""Itoshi, come here, we need to talk," his coach told him one day during a training session after a match, in which Sae had not done very well.
Sae entered the office with his usual cold expression, guessing what this talk was about.
"I'll be blunt. What's going on with you lately? Your level has dropped, and it's not because of a lack of skill, but rather a lack of concentration. I notice you're distracted." said the coach looking at him seriously.
"It's okay, I'm just training as usual," Sae replied, not wanting to admit the real reason.
The coach sighed, "Don't give me excuses. I've been in this sport longer than you've been playing football. I know exactly when a player is distracted by something off the field. And in your case, it's not hard to guess."
Sae raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?" he asked.
"That girl. Your girlfriend, or whatever she is to you. Look, I'm not going to get into your personal life, but I'll make one thing clear: Women, for a footballer, are a hobby, not a priority. You're not here to fall in love, Itoshi. Are you here to be the best in the world, aren't you?.If you really want to be one, you have to let go of whatever takes you out of focus. And if you can't do that, I'll do it for you." The coach spoke in a serious tone.
Sae looked at the coach angrily, "What are you trying to tell me? Are you going to stop me from playing?"
"I'm saying that you have to decide what's more important to you. Football or a girlfriend who can be temporary. "Think about this, Sae: sacrifices are inevitable if you want to be the best. You decide which ones you're willing to make." The coach ended the talk.
Meanwhile, Sae stayed on the court longer than usual, thinking about what to do. He loved you, maybe he didn't say it often because it wasn't typical of him, but he liked to show it to you. And he knew that you loved him, he knew that with that decision he was going to hurt you, but he was in Spain for one goal, and he could not allow himself to deviate from that goal.
That night, Sae came home later than usual. His face was as impassive as ever, but with a weight on his heart that he had never felt before. He found Azumi preparing dinner, As always with a warm smile on his face, although lately he had noticed that his girlfriend had a new sparkle in her eyes, but he had not paid much attention to it.
He was going to miss her. He was going to miss that smile that, although he didn't admit it much, had given him peace in the last few years, he was going to miss her kisses, the warmth of her body, the pleasure that only the two of them could make each other feel.
However, his mind was already made up. He couldn't allow himself any distractions, even if it hurt.
Azumi didn't hear when Sae arrived, so she was surprised to find him standing there looking at her seriously. "You're here! Why didn't you say anything, love?" She approached to greet him with her usual kiss, but he moved his face away from her, which left her confused. "Sae, what's wrong? Is everything okay?" I asked a little worried.
Sae took an imperceptible breath before speaking, "This isn't going to work anymore, Azumi. We have to end it."
The redhead stopped suddenly, taken by surprise. "What are you saying? Why?" She thought it was probably a joke in bad taste, but it was Itoshi Sae, he didn't make jokes.
"Because I don't have time for this, Azumi. My goal was always clear and you're becoming a distraction." Sae spoke to her coldly, while avoiding her gaze.
His words managed to hurt her. "A distraction? Sae, do you really think that? I've never tried to take away your dream, I just want to be by your side. Is that a problem?"
Itoshi clenched his fists, trying his best not to let out any emotion. "You don't understand, football is everything to me, there's no room for anything else. Since we've been together, I can't concentrate. On the pitch, in training... I'm failing because I'm thinking about you."
Tears were already forming in Azumi's eyes, but she didn't want to give up just yet. 'Sae, you're so obsessed with being the best, that you forget about more important things, you're going to be left alone.'
He finally decided to look at her and Azumi noticed that Sae's eyes did not show the hardness that her voice wanted to appear, they showed sadness. "Yes, I prefer to be alone. Football is unforgiving, if I don't give my all, someone else will and surpass me. I don't plan on risking that, even if it hurts me, even if... I love you. I can't let that stop me."
"If you love me, then why are you doing this? Sae, we can find some way..." she tried to reach out and grab his hand, but he pulled away.
"There's no way. Loving isn't enough. I have to be the best, and that means sacrificing a lot of things, including you." Sae's mind was already made up, and Azumi decided to give in and accept it.
She looked at him with tears streaming down her face. While Sae tried her best to stand firm, even though internally she felt like she was breaking into pieces.
"If that's what you want, then I'm not going to stop you" She told him
Azumi wiped away her tears and began to gather all her things, which were a lot. She still had her apartment, she just practically lived with Sae. She tidied and packed as quickly as possible, He tried to help her but she didn't let him.
When she was leaving, she passed by him, looked at him and tried not to break down in front of him. "I hope you achieve what you want so much and be the best, Sae"
And so, just as one day she came in with a heart full of love, she left with a completely broken heart.
Azumi wasn't going to force him to stay with her. He was free to decide what he thought was best for his life, and if he thought he was better off without her. She wasn't going to beg him to stay with her.
A month passed when Azumi decided to move to another apartment complex. In that month she had done everything she could to not run into Sae and luckily she succeeded.
Three months later, when she was living in another apartment, she started to feel strange. She was hungry all the time, she was vomiting, her sleeping schedule had changed and she felt tired all the time.
A not so crazy idea began to emerge in her mind.
Sae and Azumi were quite the fiery couple. They were very active in that regard and as far as Azumi could remember, they hadn't been so careful the last few times. And considering that she was almost four months late, the idea of being pregnant began to become increasingly certain.
When she took the pregnancy test and it came out positive, she cried a lot. She was still studying, she didn't have anyone in that country apart from some friends she had made at university. The father of her child had decided that she was a nuisance to his career and he was surely going to consider her child a problem as well. On top of that, she didn't have a job and lived off the monthly payments her family sent her, and while she lived comfortably with that, having a child was a much bigger expense.
She didn't know what to do.
She decided to talk to her parents, she didn't know what to do and they were the ones who always advised her in difficult situations. At first, they didn't take it well, "Azumi, you were supposed to go to Spain to study, not to get involved with someone and get pregnant" her mother told her. But her father, who had always supported her, told her to stay calm. They would support her in whatever she decided and if they had to send her more money for the baby, they would do it. But the only rule was that she should not drop out of school.
The thought of abortion was on her mind more than she liked to admit. She knew it was going to be difficult to have the baby alone, but this baby had been made with the love she and Sae had for each other, It was the only thing left of her great love.
The months went by, and she found out that she was expecting a boy. Her belly wasn't that big, but she liked taking pictures.
Sometimes she would come across a Sae game on TV, Apparently he was doing very well, he was always a starter, and in the football news there was always talk about how Real Madrid won matches thanks to some goal from Sae.
Apparently he was right, she was just a distraction in his life. He was better off without her.
The thought of telling him never crossed her mind. He had been clear about his goals and she was sure that having children was not part of them.
The birth was natural, it was not easy. But when she held her little son in her arms, all the pain disappeared.
She named him Suzuki Souta, and as soon as he opened his eyes, he showed those blue-green eyes and long eyelashes, he looked just like Sae. He had also inherited her ex-boyfriend's reddish-brown hair color.
As he grew up, he showed that the only thing he had inherited from Azumi were her dimples. Other than that, including his personality, he was Sae in the mini version.
Azumi built her life around her son, Souta. She got a part-time job in marketing while continuing her studies. Her days were exhausting, balancing work, college and the demands of a young child, but every time Souta smiled or called her "Mom," she felt all the effort was worth it.
Souta, now six years old, was an energetic boy with an undeniable resemblance to his father. His striking blue-green eyes used to catch the attention of strangers, and his natural talent for sports began to show when he started playing soccer for a local club. Azumi couldn't help but see Sae in every shot at the ball, in every determined look on Souta's face when he was focused on scoring a goal.
One afternoon, as Azumi was walking home with Souta after soccer practice, they passed an electronics store. A live interview with Sae Itoshi, fresh off another spectacular victory with the Japan national team, was being broadcast on the big screen in the window.
"Mom, look!" Souta pointed excitedly toward the screen. "It's the poster boy my coach has in his office! He's super cool!"
Azumi froze, feeling her chest tighten. She didn't want Souta to acknowledge Sae, at least not yet. She knew that would only raise questions she didn't have answers for yet.
"Yes, it is," she said quickly, tugging on Souta's hand before he could say anything else. "But we're already late, let's go home."
As they continued walking, Azumi couldn't help but look back, seeing Sae's figure on the screen. Although her face was as cold as ever, her success and confidence were undeniable. Her heart shrank at the thought that Souta might grow up not knowing who his father was.
"Maybe someday," she murmured to herself, holding Souta's small hand tightly, "but not today."
However, fate had other plans.
#itoshi sae#itoshi rin#sae itoshi x reader#sae itoshi#sae imagines#blue lock x female reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock anime#blue lock#itoshi brothers#bllk x you#bllk x reader#bllk
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Do you have a soulmate?
Yes, but let me tell you about them anyways. Buckle up because this will be a long ass read, get some snacks, something to drink, and cozy up! This post is about the many different types of soul connections!
Disclaimer:
This is my rendition of research and personal experience. I implore you to do your own research!
So, soulmate is just an umbrella term, there are many different types of soulmates and soulmates are not always romantic- I mean who’s to say they’re always human? Soulmates are just that, mates for your soul. Mate means companion, it can be in a romantic/sexual/procreation context like with wolves, or it can just be your best bud. In my opinion, there are fifteen different ways to classify a soulmate which can better help you understand and learn the lesson they are in your life to teach you. The purpose of a soulmate is to carry your soul through a specific experience to aid you on your journey. Everyone has a soulmate, everyone has multiple soulmates, everyone is interconnected through a web of lives, every soul on this earth and past this realm is connected. You could have many soulmates and one person can classify as multiple types of soulmate which is why the term soulmate should be seen as an umbrella term rather than a thing itself. There is nothing that separates us except for the perception of separation, the ego, and the humanness of life. Sometimes we get swept up into someone else's journey, and it sucks, because we may get hurt, which is why the first soulmate type I will be talking about is a Karmic soulmate.
Karmic Soulmates:
A karmic soulmate is someone who comes into your life to teach you hard lessons. The entire purpose of this connection depends on your lessons but they can serve as major teaching moments, or the connection that wrecks you so bad you turn to spirituality to heal. In life, there is duality, as with karma there is dharma, so while someone may be a karmic soulmate, it doesn’t always mean that they will be abusive or bad, just that you will be learning painful lessons through and with them. A karmic will either force you to choose yourself by putting you in terrible situations where you have to either choose yourself or allow yourself to be harmed, or they are going to push you to choose yourself by being in your corner, making you make the hard decisions for yourself. For example, if you have been told since childhood that you’re never good enough but you really want to be a creative person, but the trauma makes you avoid being creative, a karmic person would either try to reinforce that trauma and hurt you more until you retaliate, or they will push you into being creative by calling out you avoidant tendencies. It depends on your personality! Either way, a karmic will always be a hard relationship, purely because it forces you out of your comfort zone, it forces you out of your habits, out of the behaviors you have created in the name of safety or ease that do not serve you, to show you the habits, coping methods, and tactics that you use that actively put you at a disadvantage in life and leave you feeling less than what you deserve. It opens you up to a path you would’ve never considered because of your programming, background, childhood, trauma, etc. It allows you to see another path, different to the one you have always chosen or were taught to choose, allowing you to see more, which brings us to the karmic being a spiritual awakener. Just as they are a lesson for you, you are a lesson for them as well and they could be the precursor to your spiritual journey, even if you are already on one, they could cause you to dive deeper and reawaken for lack of better terms. The Karmic is meant to feel alluring, as though you cannot avoid or get enough of them, they draw you in because they are a destined soulmate, you are drawn to them because you have something you can learn from them. Relationships- romantic wise with a karmic are not known to last, more often than not they are there for a reason and season but, there is a possibility that they can stay for a lifetime as long as no one is going against their purpose or causing the other harm or choosing the other over themself. A Karmic soulmate can be abusive, but they don’t always have to be, the end goal is you choosing yourself and your betterment, not martyring yourself for them, as well as clearing out past life cycles, or karmic debt. We often start off in life with the same cycle that we experienced in the life before that we could not heal in that lifetime as well as the baggage of karma in our past lives that we are meant to heal and release during this current life. With that being said, a karmic can be anyone, it can be your best friend, it can be a parent, it can be a lover, crush, stranger, your pet, literally anything or anyone. You know that person is karmic when you come out of the relationship having either learned a harsh lesson, or experienced harshness from them.
Twin flames:
The most controversial type of soulmate is a Twin Flame. Mhm, yep, get those eyerolls out, yep, done? Great, so! A twin flame is complicated because of how over sensationalized it is in pop culture media. It is seen as the epitome of soulmates, it is idealized as hyperreal love, the goal, often seen as a fantasy version of real life where things are all sunshine and rainbows and happiness, but people forget or are so wrapped up in the idea of finding their perfect half that they forget the intense healing work that comes with twin flame connections. A twin flame is just that- your twin flame lmao. The names are very forward. So twin flames, at least how I understand it, are based on the Greek mythology of the creation of humans. The idea comes from humans having been created with two heads, two hearts, four arms, four legs and in order to sew discourse they were separated, cursed to find their “other half”. Here is the thing, your other half does not exist, you are you, you are a whole, yes you can find someone that matches your freak perfectly (twin flame) but they are not the other half of you. Think of a real life example of duplicates, fusions, they are two whole beings that come together. When you meet twin siblings, they are different people but came from the same source at the same time. When you peel a banana and find two bananas inside, they are two separate beings that came from the same source. Your twin is literally only someone who matches you to near perfection. But, because they are their own being and have lived their own life completely separate to yours, they have vastly different yet somehow oddly similar experiences. They are your true mirror, in the sense that a soulmate is your mirror and mirrors reflect an inverted image, a twin flame shows you who you are in your rawest and naked form. Which is why they are insanely difficult to be in. They show you who you are in the rawest form and when you avoid that, you run from yourself and create disharmony, discord within yourself and the connection. If you are used to running from yourself, avoiding yourself, avoiding your trauma, your mistakes, hating yourself, and you fall in love with someone who is basically your mirror, that forces you to learn to fall in love with yourself and that is a hard task. If you learned to hate yourself for years upon years, to then be face to face with literally a mirror of you, you would resent the parts of you that you see in them at the same time adore those same parts because they are attached to the person you love and again it creates this disharmony with the self. It confuses you until you learn to love yourself, until you heal and come into union with yourself. Many people view the idea of union as meeting your twin flame and starting an instant romantic connection but- no. the laws of nature, the universe, human nature does not allow for that 100% of the time. Oftentimes, coming into union would mean reconnecting with who you are at your core. Ask yourself, if you are in a twin flame connection, what does inner union look like to you? If you are in a twin flame connection, are you putting more emphasis on your partner, who they are, what they represent rather than yourself? The thing is about soul connections is the fact that we often get lost in our companions that we forget the self, to take care of the self. You must not forget that you are part of the equation, you must heal, be open, do not let your ego run your mind and actions. The epitome of twin flames is yin and yang, without balance between the nodes, there will be chaos
Animal Soulmates:
The easiest soul connection to have is an animal soul connection. It is as it is, this is your pet, your best friend, your lil baby lol. It’s when you come across a pet by chance and form a deep bond that is unbreakable and unshakable. This pet will be perfect for you as they would have your exact personality, always be there for you, they match you to a T. the bond is filled with ease and overflowing love and respect for each other. It is akin to a witch and her familiar as they become a part of you that will never leave even if they cross over that rainbow bridge. As you may or may not know, I have a cat, her name is baby and she is 100% my soulmate, she was made for me and I for her as she found me randomly one day and never left my side. I do everything I can for her and she in turn makes me so abundantly happy. Just seeing her cute face can turn a terrible day around.
Soul Partner:
This is probably what you think about when you think of the term "soulmate" and what is seen the most in media. It's the most common, most idealized, most written about, most fantasized type of soul connection. Even with all of that, all it is, is someone who you will spend the rest of your life or a significant portion of your life with. Again, this can be platonic, or romantic. This could be someone you grow up with, someone you marry, someone you start a business with, someone you co parent with, your pet, someone you will be tied to for the rest of your existence even if they were to pass or leave your life. Your soul partner often enters your life to support you emotionally or professionally. We as humans are social creatures, you cannot go through life without ever relying on or interacting with another human, which is why, a soul partner is just that, your emotional support buddy for life! A soul partner is a very basic, simple, and the most common type of soul connection, therefore everyone knows about it but refers to it as a soulmate. The terms are interchangeable, because they mean the same thing and are both umbrella terms for soul connections and soul connections overlap so don't worry about having a clear distinction between the two because they are the same thing.
Soul Tie:
A soul tie is someone that comes into your life for a very specific reason or season. By that I mean, this could be your first love who you date for only a couple of months that teaches you that you know nothing about actually dating someone, or this could be your fifth grade literature teacher that compliments your writing and encourages your talent. A soul tie is the reason why soulmate types overlap because every soul connection you have is for a reason, and that reason is what ties you together. Another example of a soul tie is having a friend that has to move away but can't take their pet with them so you take the pet and that pet becomes the most important thing in your life, or someone you met six weeks ago who introduces you to your twin flame, or that one lover you just can't seem to let go of. Think of the connection as a courier, someone meant to deliver you something or someone and go. They don't often stay for long and are often passing strangers. A soul tie can also refer to spell work, in the sense that someone or something has tied the strings of fate of your souls together into a knot that makes it hard to leave or separate yourself from that person.
Important reminder, not all soulmates are "good" soulmates, some are here to teach you hard lessons.
Past Life Soulmates:
A past life soulmate is exactly as it sounds, a soulmate you were in connection with in a past life. The purpose for past life soulmates returning in this life is often to finish or close out unfinished business or past life cycles. Remember how I said a lot of soulmate types overlap? Well, a past life soulmate is often your karmic, twin flame, or a specific person you promised to reconnect with. First, Karmic soulmates. A past life karmic soulmate is someone you were with in your past life, but one or both of you moved on to this life without closing out the cycles from your past life and are now reenacting/reliving these cycles until you can close them out. Technically a twin flame is and isn't a past life soulmate because they are your souls twin- created at the same time and in likeness of each other. Your twin flame can be your past life soulmate if you were in connection with them in your past life. Now, think of all the times you've promised to meet someone in another life, you've basically created a future life soulmate lmao, that is how you get past life soulmates, by promising to meet someone else in another life.
Romantic Soulmate:
It's as simple as the name, this is someone you have a romantic soul connection to. It is purely to classify non platonic relationships. For example, you could have a completely platonic connection with your twin flame while someone else can have a romantic connection to their twin flame. That does not mean you won't ever feel romantic feelings for your twin flame, it only determines whether or not you will have a long term romantic relationship with them. By long term I mean longer than 3 months. A romantic soulmate is just a soulmate that you will be romantic with, that would be your future spouse, who could also be your soul teacher (another type of soulmate) or anyone who you date.
Plantonic Soulmate:
Again, as simple as it sounds, just another way to further classify your connection with a soulmate. A platonic soulmate ranges to literally everything, your best friend, your mom, your professor, your coworker. It is someone you have a close and profound platonic connection to that affects your life exponentially.
Soul Family and Soul Tribes:
Soul family and soul tribes relate to the found family trope. This is a group of people that are connected to each other in intricate ways. This could be your actual family if you have a tight knit and healthy family, or it could be a group of friends that came together in an unexpected way but have a bond that transcends time and distance. This is and will always be a positive connection, doesn't mean that there won't be any difficulties or discourse in the connection, but it does mean that you will always find a way to mend the bond. It is a strong connection. This could be a community of people you've surrounded yourself with, could be you closest friends and or future partner, if you are polyamorous could be both! The purpose of a soul family/soul tribe is to heal familial traumas, break generational or familial curses, could be from past lives as well. This can be your very distant cousin who is the generational curse breaker of their direct lineage and is your role model, or your diaper mate lmao. More specifically for soul tribes, you can create one, or be inaugurated into one, these connections are often formed with people who have similar goals, and hurts to you. Either way, a soul family or soul tribe is or makes you feel as though you were cut from the same cloth.
Kindred Spirit:
A kindred spirit is technically not a soul connection but it is, but it isn't, let me explain. A kindred spirit is someone who you randomly meet that you can connect with effortlessly, it's as if you have lived the same life, they like what you like, have experienced eerily similar things, have the same dislikes or specifications, same job or talents etc. however they are someone you meet in passing. It could be someone you randomly strike up a conversation with in the grocery store. Often times you meet these people because you are vibrating on the same frequency and that energy draws the two of you together to meet. This person could literally pass as a clone for you, you may look alike (doppleganger) or you may just have very similar lives. For example, you could be married to a pro wrestler, believe that frogs are the meaning to life, have a disdain for tomatoes, and are obsessed with Vincent van gogh and this person would be married to an mma fighter, believe that toads are the meaning to life, absolutely despise tomatillo, and have a blog dedicated to only Leonardo da vinci. It's uncanny similarities that would give "uncanny valley" a run for their money, but just someone you meet in passing, however it is possible to form a bond over the similarities.
Soul contract:
Also not a soulmate type but the reason why you meet certain soulmates. A soul contract is confusing and deep territory that I won't be getting into in this post, however I will only talk about it in relation to soulmates. So when you have a soul contract with another person, it generally means that if certain conditions are met, the two of you will meet in this life to then hash out the terms of said contract. You usually have a soul contract with people who are integral to your souls journey. For example, you could have a soul contract with a karmic partner and in the contract there will be a clause that they are there to teach you a specific thing and once that thing is learned the contract will be fulfilled and you'd be left to do with the relationship as you please, or the agreement to start a business, have a child, literally anything that aligns you with your true purpose. It's a lot more complicated than how I make it seem, it is not a term to be thrown around willy nilly however. It's very confusing and I'm only mentioning it to give insight to soul connections. These contracts are mutable and are constantly changing because whether or not you meet someone hinges on whether or not you have "fulfilled" the terms for lack of better words. Basically, you have to be vibrating on the same frequency to be in connection with certain people and in order to vibrate on that frequency there are things you can or need to do. For clarity sake, not saying this is how it actually is, just for clarity; if you are aware of a specific future partner and that they are vibrating at 78 hertz but you're vibrating at 42 hertz, you need to get to 78 hertz by following a specific path, this could mean healing, or doing a job, it could mean anything that changes the trajectory of your life so that you align with that persons frequency/energy/wavelength and that pulls the two of you together in a way that allows you to cross paths and this would be handled by your guides.
Soul Teacher:
Finally back to the easy and simple soulmate types and explanations! So, a soul teacher is someone who comes int your life to teach you something spiritual which refers to me or other spiritual practitioners. This is the one you're experiencing right now! A soul teacher is someone you meet by chance and they impart life altering knowledge onto you that opens your eyes and changes how you view and move through the world. Sometimes they are only meant to teach you about certain topics, for example about soul connections, or the akashic records, or they can be a full mentor, teaching you about witchcraft, spell work, and deity work! These soul teachers are there to make sure that your soul or you as a person learn something either very specific or a genre of things and can often trick you! By trick you, I mean in a way that will force you to handle a situation differently to how they taught you to further broaden your horizon and what you know. Basically view yourself as Harry Potter interacting with one of the many professors at Hogwarts.
Soul Crossing:
A soul crossing is similar to kindred spirit in the sense that they are someone who enters your life very briskly but opens your eyes to a lot. A soul crossing is someone who is your soulmate through and through but they are only in your life for such a short and sweet time. For example, this could be someone you meet on vacation or on a cruise, you spend so much time together having so much fun but once the cruise is done, they're gone with the wind. This connection can be very sad in the fact that they last so shortly but are so amazing to experience. This is someone you meet purely by chance, often times through a series of unconscionable actions that wouldn't have usually happened, it would literally seem as if the universe randomly brought the two of you together solely for that short time only. this type of connection can usually last for barely a couple of months, sometimes as short as a week. It often feels like a zing from hotel Transylvania but- without the long lasting love lol.
I want to preface what I’m about to say,
Just because you are someone’s soulmate does not mean you are there future partner. Someone can be your soulmate purely because of their effect on you and your soul's journey through this lifetime, just because you are someone’s soulmate does not mean that you will ever meet them nor will there ever be romance involved, nor that there will be or was a lifetime where the two of you were romantically connected. There is no guarantee that you will ever meet all of your soulmates because sometimes, that just isn't in your path, sometimes they are only there to be an influence or inspiration. Remember, soulmate is an umbrella term for someone/something that has a profound presence in your soul's journey.
I’m going to hold your hand when I say this, your cognitive dissonance will deactivate your critical thinking the moment you feel triggered, yes you can be a soulmate to a celebrity, they are people too, they are not gods, or deities, they are human. HOWEVER, just because you feel profoundly connected to a celebrity or idol (looking at you kpop community) doesn’t mean that the connection is romantic. Yes, it is possible that it can be, but that does not give you the right to stalk them, harass their partners, try to force a connection, nor does it gives you the right to act like a pompous douche that's better than everyone just because your soul decided to connect to someone of influence. If it is meant to be, you will not have to force it and should not force it. Forcing yourself to be in proximity with a celebrity (i.e stalking them) just because you think you belong together rather than letting that be in the back of your mind and focussing doing what you are meant to do in life will not make it happen, in fact it will never happen because you refused to do the work and scared the shit out of them, shot yourself in the foot so to speak. If you are on the path to union with a romantic soulmate, there are things that you absolutely need to do and if you try to undermine that, thinking you can use a shortcut, you will be dropped on your ass pretty painfully. The universe has rules to the game and going against them will not win you anything other than harsher lessons. This is NOT the go ahead to start a witch hunt for “fs’s” This is NOT the go ahead to delude yourself into thinking you are a celebrities fs, this is PURELY educational. The "title" of "soulmate" does not give you any special abilities, special powers, it doesn't make you special or different at all it is just a connection. If you think you are a celebrity fs, consider talking to a professional, ensure that you are not experiencing limerence, having a parasocial relationship, feel free to message me if you want to talk or have more questions.
The only reason why I am mentioning this is because we as a society have treated celebrities and have made them out to be monoliths when they are humans too. I feel as though knowledge is very important and anti-intellectualism is on the rise especially in communities where things aren't "verifiable" such as spirituality which makes the content we make and consume either a very powerful or harmful substance. I'd much rather my content be as educational and grounded as possible to free the minds from the boxes we put them in than to uphold societal ideologies that are rooted in toxicity such as classism and beauty standards and further constrict our nature and divinity. I am fully aware that my words have consequences within others, which is why I am very serious and put great consideration and research into what I am saying. I am going to be as careful as possible when I say what I say, however, if you find issue with what I am saying, please feel free to message me and we can have a conversation about it. I decided to add this in last minute because of how the media frames celebrities and how people interact with celebrities and the parasocial relationships it creates.
I may make another post talking purely about this concept because of how highly and nuanced it is and I have so many personal thoughts that I want to share but, this post is only for educational purposes. When you make room to speak about what exists, you no longer have to spend time wondering about everything left unsaid.
Celebrity Soulmates:
Celebrities can be soulmates in the sense that they do impact our lives in some ways. I personally classify a soulmate as someone who has a profound affect on your life path, for example, inspiring you to take a leap of faith. Celebrities are highly influential people and what makes them famous is the affect they have on society, with that being said, having a celebrity be your soulmate is not as weird or as a cringe take as it would seem. To understand what I mean, you'd have to refer to the other types of soulmates. Celebrities, depending on how they affect your life can be seen as a soul tie, a soul teacher, a kindred spirit, a soul crossing. Because we see them in media and often idealize them and their lives are so public, we can learn so much from them. Removing them from the mental pedestal and seeing them as someone who is in the public eye opens you up to learning a lot more from them. For example, Chappell Roan, she is literally just a person, someone who is deserving of respect and having her boundaries respected. But just because she makes music that a lot of people love, her image has gone from a fellow human to this elevated view that is both toxic for the fan and the celebrity. This type of connection is hard to talk about because- I mean you're going to be seen as someone who is mentally unwell. At the end of the day, celebrities are people, but because they are celebrities, a soul connection can be seen as or is nothing more than a parasocial relationship or infatuation.
I'm trying to be as careful as possible with what I say because of the way people tend to be overly attached to and obsessed celebrities to the point of convincing themselves that they're soulmates and it is a dangerous and slippery slope to have that mindset without mindfulness and discernment. Maybe the reason why you're so infatuated with this celebrity is because there is something you can learn from them, either from their life story, or from the content that they create, maybe they're just an outlet or source of comfort to help you get through a rough time. Maybe you come across Kenji and his videos help you get through a nasty divorce, or maybe you come across Hozier's music and it inspires you to create your own content, or you come across CoryxKenshin and he inspires you to go out and make a difference in your community. That is the impact that celebrities often have on people, all without even knowing this is their role in so many lives. I like to think that often times, the reason why people become famous is because they have something or create something that helps the collective in any way and because they have their own lessons to learn. Sometimes, we are unknowingly a huge part in someone else's journey, whether it is positive or negative. I personally believe we come across these specific celebrities or creators because they will have the most impact on our lives and further our journeys. For example, Jay from the Kubzscouts! He has stated the reason why he posts so often is not only because he loves what he does, but also because he grew up watching youtubers and those youtubers being his comfort and he wishes to provide that some comfort to others and he does! Because of that, he inspired so many other people including me to want to do the same which furthered people in their journey. I hope you've seen from the other soulmate types that a soulmate does not have to be someone who is overtly profound presence in your life, just someone who has a profound affect on you that further pushes you on your life path.
To finish off this section without saying too much and deconstructing social constructs, yes, it is possible to have a celebrity as a romantic soulmate, but that is something that I cannot say with ease or lackadaisically. If it is in your path, it will happen naturally, just focus on yourself, your healing, and following your life path and you will get there some day. I must warn that, because of the fact that celebrities are famous and in the public view and are the object of many peoples attraction, you must be aware of things called limerence, parasocial relationships, obsessions, love addictions etc. These are things that can influence a person into believing that there is a soul connection when there isn't one. It is easy to say you love a celebrity and feel a connection with them because you can consume their content without limit, but you are not interacting with them, you do not know them. You cannot use your feelings of attraction or romance to justify the idea of a connection, either you have one or you don't, and you will know the difference because it isn’t a vice or a distraction from your problems. It’s something that will put you in a position where you will have to do a lot of grueling mental, emotional, and physical work to get to where you need to be. It is also important to note that your guides might allow you to believe that a celebrity is a soulmate because that is the only way for you to genuinely follow your life path.
Final Statements:
With all of that being said, you might be thinking "that sounds like anyone can be my soulmate?! How can I tell if a random joe on the street is my soulmate or not?!" Well, yes and no LOL. Literally that is the beauty of human nature combining with spiritual purpose. Anyone can be your soulmate, but it depends on the stage in life you are in that determines whether or not they will be in your life. It is also very common in romantic soulmates, more specifically twin flames to pass each other several times in life before getting to the point of actually meeting. There are so many instances of people taking family photos or pictures of themselves with their partners in the background without even knowing!
If you are trying to call in a soulmate, following the guidance of your guides, they have an invested interest in your wellbeing and highest good however they cannot force your or force things to happen without your willingness. Their job is to guide you, not to do things for you, and if you heed their guidance, they will guide you to your highest good.
Again, if you have any questions, anything you want to say, add, need clarification on, would like to talk about, or would like to request, or would want an in depth post about a specific soulmate type, please feel free to message me! My inbox and ask box are always open and I will never judge you 🤍 I hope this post was as informative and I hope it gave some insight!
Here are some links with more information related to soulmates and soul connections!:
12 types of soulmates
Another 12 types of soulmates for clarity sake, this one contains content related to childhood soulmates, that would fall under the umbrella of platonic soulmates.
8 types of soulmates
10 types of soulmates
Types of soulmates
13 most common types of soulmates
A third 12 types of soulmates
#spirituality#soulmates#bts tarot#kpop tarot#celebrity tarot#spiritual journey#celeb tarot#spiritual awakening#spiritualgrowth#spiritual topics#romantic soulmates#platonic soulmates#soulmate types
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When black people tell you that some of your talking points are racist, you should probably sit up and listen rather than slinging accusations of terfism back at them. Just a suggestion.
I mean, I have been listening, anon, and I've actually been reading pretty widely, and as I said yesterday in this post, which I assume is the one you're replying to, my talking points aren't being addressed at all. What's happening is that strawman arguments are being created for people to demonstrate my apparent racism which are built on things that I never said and would never argue, because it's easier to do that than actually engage with the nuances of what masculinity is and has been.
One of the ways that I've been listening was in regards actually to that post I was linked to yesterday which talked about the fact that Louis doesn't embody Black masculinity in 1910, which was genuinely an argument I was really curious to know more about, but because it was a stated point and no argument was actually mounted, I did / am doing my own research - I read Michele Mitchell's The Black Man's Burden: African Americans, Imperialism, and Notions of Racial Manhood 1890-1910 last night and I've read parts of Alexa Dagan's These Hard Times Gon' Kill You: Black masculinity, racial and intimate violence, and the blues in the Mississippi Delta, 1918-1945 with the intention of reading it in full over the next few weeks - and those have provided really useful context, so I'm very glad to have read the former and be reading the latter, but they don't support the argument that Louis doesn't mark traditional Black masculinity for the era. In fact they argue the opposite - particularly the first one that specifically goes into Black men being emasculated by white supremacy and the impact that had on Black masculinity, and the effect of class mobility being Black men would distance themselves from lower class Black men when they attained wealth, both things which I think are really present in Jacob's astonishing performance.
I've also previously read Jesmyn Ward's The Men We Reaped, Maxine Beneba Clarke's The Hate Race, and Clint Smith's excellent poetry collection, Counting Descent, among many others, which all explore topics of contemporary Black masculinity (although are broader explorations of Black history, life and identity), and yeah, obviously I don't have lived experience - I'm open about being white and Australian - but y'know. I'm not completely ignorant, and I am listening to voices. A lot of them actually. I just don't agree with you, and I'm not sure why that offends you so much that you've come into my inbox a couple of times now to say words to this effect (calling me a racist before saying 'just saying' / 'just a suggestion' is kind of a tell, anon), but I would say that when you send me asks like this that you're being disingenuous. I don't think you're asking me to listen, I think you're telling me to shut up, which really goes back to that point about this whole thing being an exercise in control, not conversation, which I made in that last post.
I'd also just pose a question to you too, if that's alright. Why is this request for self-reflection never one that goes both ways? I am interrogating my internal biases, are you? Do you ask yourself the question of why TERF rhetoric is really, really pervasive in these talking points? Do you think about why it is you try to apply heteronormative gender essentialism to a queer character / couple? Do you ask yourself why it's so important to you that this character be 'female-coded'? I can appreciate the challenge of that - trust me, working internally in this sort of way is a lot, I know how hard it can be to unpack this sort of thing, and I really do mean that genuinely, so I hope that you take it that way - and look, it can be really hard to know where to start, so here are a few resources, just in case you do want to explore this and maybe start tackling your own biases, because it's not enough to put TERFs DNI in your bio, and it's not enough to only be listening to the terminally online on tumblr.com (I say as someone who's often on here, haha):
Archer Magazine is a great magazine that explores gender and sexuality, with a really big focus on trans and non-binary identity and queer sexuality. There's a physical magazine, but they post a lot online for free. Here's the gender tag, if you want to have a look. I'd really recommend signing up for their e-news though.
TeenVogue's On Queer Fandom and the Radicalization of the Underdog
Who's Afraid of Gender? by Judith Butler
The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson is a really interesting read on her romantic relationship with the trans artist, Harry Dodge, and merges memoir and philosophy. It talks also about gender and parenthood in ways that might be interesting in regards to these particular conversations.
Of course, the documentary Paris is Burning, which is available to watch free on YouTube here.
I also haven't read this one yet, but a few friends have recently recommended Invention of Women: Making an African Sense of Western Gender by Oyeronke Oyewumi that sounds genuinely pretty fascinating.
So, yes! Anyway. Not really sure how to close this one out, but again, just to reiterate, I've got no issue with you enjoying femme!Louis. Good for you, have fun, we interpret the character and the show differently. That's okay, anon, there are lots of people who like your interpretation more than mine, and I hope you guys have a great time with that in the hiatus and over the next season, but I'm gonna keep doing my thing over here.
#i also didn't tag that last post with the main tags so i'm genuinely curious if i have people like#hate checking this blog already#it took YEARS for that to happen in the gg fandom lmao#i've only been posting in this fandom for like what?#six months?#i actually am glad that that last post prompted me to read those papers btw so thank you to the strawman argument poster#the papers were really interesting and have my brain ticking over#anyway#iwtv asks#i guess?
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f24fa6112572dea54eb57aba50a92c05/78682d02051a7878-bf/s540x810/f975d6d395843a41de6ae4c421a1298eff7cdb49.jpg)
So one thing i absolutely love about Gangle's episode, is how deep a look it gives into our lovable comic artists heart and soul, for good and ill.
Gangle manages to get the job of being in charge for an adventure, to shape it as she sees fit.
And she gets a mask that lets her act exactly how she wants to, with NO filter at all for the occassion.
And rather than actually taking advantage of this and having a nice, peacefull day with the crew as they work at a burger King, she instead goes right back to acting like she did at her old job as a mcdonalds manager, only exagerated, and BOY does it paint a picture.
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She makes an interactive video where she blatantly tells the employees to give up on all hopes and dreams, and resign themselves to working the fast food joint forever.
And while it's clear projecting on her part, it's not hard to imagine her acting the exact same with people under her employee back on earth. Resign yourself to this life, like i did... Except resign yourself to being at the bottom, under me.
Gangle had her hopes and dreams of being a professional comic artist crushed, and gave up... And rather than try to balance doing a webcomic and being a manager, she basically just compensated by throwing herself into being a boss, because it was the only part of her life she felt she had control over.
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When Pomni points out that it is all just a game, she really begins to crack, because it would mean that there really wasn't any meaning to it, or her job. It really was just a routine for a paycheck, one Gangle was never able to balance with anything else.
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This entire section where Pomni was flirting with Gummigoo, could have been a fun time, one Gangle could have encouraged as the point of these adventures is to have fun with the scenarios, but instead she went right back to being a manager, to wanting to be the one in control.
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She was miserable, and she wanted, subconciously or not, that everyone else working there had to feel just miserable as well.
Because if she was the only one who felt that way, then it was all "pointless".
She could not just see her role here as "just a job". It HAD to be something else, because she never had the maturity or life experience to balance and separate her "Job" and her "actual life" and so when her dream crashed and burned, the job was all she had left in her eyes.
She could not separate herself from her job "Mask".
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And we also see that Gangle understood, and was fully willing to use her power to get what she wanted.
Jax being uppety? Use Caine, aka her superior to get the power to bring the hammer down on him, which she does with glee.
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And of course there is the whole Ragatha in the fry hell thing, where Gangle(Who has very mixed feelings on Ragatha) leaves her in the frying misery to instead focus on stomping down on Jax, rather than helping someone who needed it.
Because rather than wanting to help someone, she wants to be in charge, to be powerfull. Because it hives her job meaning. It makes her feel big.
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Except as she slowly begins to realize, it doesnt.
Gangle starts to crack over the course of the episode, as she slowly starts to realize that not only was she miserable at her old job(Which she already knew), but there wasn't any meaning to it anyway.
It was just a paycheck, but rather than acting like it was just a job she did to earn money, she used her power to take out her feelings of misery on other people, to try to force it to mean anything. She deliberately hurt other people to make herself feel like she wasn't a failure.
Rather than being a responsible and fair boss, she was the leader everyone hated because she was an absolute bitch.
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Only at the end, after Pomni showed her kindness despite her awfullness, did she finally manage to discard the mask for good and all, and accept herself, flaws and all, and finally manage to feel free and alive again, and become ready to move on with her life.
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After the truck crash, and the high wearing off though, reality comes crashing down, and Gangle suddenly realises that one, brilliant moment of selfawareness and growth does not make up for everything.
She treated everyone like garbage, and showed her absolute worst traits for all to see.
And so she thinks everyone hates her now, just like she thinks(Probably more accurately) that every single person under her at her old job hated her... And yet she accepts that's her own fault. Her responsibility.
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Why? Sirius Black x Reader
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Sirius is starting to feel a bit desperate to cum inside you again.
CW: Breeding kink. NSFW (obviously). Use of pet names. AFAB reader. Maybe a bit of coercion if you squint.
Sirius never put much thought into having children of his own. There were always more important matters taking over his mind: school, running away from his family, war, the Potters’ safety, being sent to Azkaban, a Potter’s safety, and then war again.
So, it’s probably safe to say this is the first time in Sirius’s life where he’s been able to settle down and focus on himself.
If you ask him, he’d say he’s doing pretty well so far.
He lives in a comfortable home adorned with plenty of windows. After spending so many years of his life stuck in dark and cramped spaces, natural lighting and a sense of openness is a must-have for him.
He spends most of his days working with the Weasley boys at the joke shop. Coming up with fresh and profound ways of helping the newest generation cause mischief is a good way to pass the time.
He has people he loves, and people who love him in return. Including you, of course.
For the first time in a long time, Sirius has roots. He’s comfortable and happy.
And maybe that’s why it’s becoming increasingly difficult for him to pull out when he’s fucking you.
It started a few months ago. You were casually complaining about the side effects of your birth control, and Sirius convinced you to stop taking it.
He promised he’ll pull out. He won’t penetrate you during your ovulation week: oral and hands only. Sure, it won’t be ideal, but he’ll do it if it means easing your pain.
So you stopped taking your birth control, and Sirius stuck to his word.
…for a little while.
Without your contraceptives in the way, it seems your libido shot up ten fold. Especially during your ovulation week. Sirius needn’t even track your cycles. He can tell what time of the month it is just by how often you’re pawing and grabbing at him.
The ‘oral and hands only’ rule didn’t last two months. The first month wasn’t too difficult, but by the second month, it just seemed too tedious, really. Why limit yourselves to certain body parts when Sirius can just pull out before cumming inside you?
It’s not rocket science.
It was a bit hard for Sirius to stick to his word, but he did it. Moments before he could shoot a load as deep into your pussy as he could reach, he’d force himself to waste it by releasing it over your tits and stomach.
It felt…. disappointing to see his ropes of cum littered all over your skin, rather than watching it drip out of your tight cunt. Even the idea of filling you up made Sirius hard again, but he couldn’t risk it.
Neither of you were ready for pregnancy, no matter how much the thought of seeing you with a newly rounded stomach made Sirius’s cock twitch and ache.
But Sirius stuck to his word. Every time he fucked you, he made sure to pull out. And it worked; you didn’t get pregnant. Sirius couldn’t help but grit his teeth and roll his eyes when he discovered you’d gotten your period that month.
Which leads us to now.
Sirius—for the third time today—sloppily making out with your cunt. His mouth feels incredible, your hands tightly gripping the bedsheets, but it feels empty. It isn’t enough.
“Sirius?” You breathe, opening your eyes and lifting your head to look down at him.
“Hmm?” He hums, circling his mouth around your clit and sucking lightly.
“Fuck—!” You gasp quickly at the small change, back arching. “Fuck me—please?”
Normally, Sirius wouldn’t need to be asked twice, but he’s feeling strangely agitated at the moment. He raises his head from between your legs, tightly gripping your inner thighs with his long fingers. He sits up on his knees, looking down at you irritably.
“Why?” He asks.
Your brain spent and foggy after several orgasms and on the brink of another one, the question confuses you. Your mouth opens and closes, not quite knowing how to answer that. It’s such an obvious answer, so what does he mean ‘why’?
Seeing your bewilderment, Sirius’s jaw sets. He isn’t sure what kind of answer he expected. Rather than explaining himself further, he aligns himself up with your cunt and pushes in. He gives you very little time to adjust, opting instead to completely bottom out inside you in one swift motion.
It’s quite easy, given that you’d already came on his mouth twice prior, but it still catches you by surprise. It’s a big change—going from being cruelly empty to achingly full.
Once inside you, Sirius rocks his hips slowly, leaning down until his lips are next to your ear. He murmurs lowly, “Do you miss me cumming inside you?”
“Miss when we’d go rounds and you’d be so full, it was practically spilling out of you?” He continues, his breath tickling your ear. “I know I do.”
“S-sirius, we can’t—I’m not-” You stutter, protesting weakly, barely believing your own words. Your fingers grasping at him, nails digging into the skin of his back.
“Why?” Sirius asks again, his voice hoarse and words sincere. “I love you. I dream of seeing you out and about, a little round stomach, knowing that I did that to you. That you’re carrying my baby.”
“A-ah!” You gasp out. Your legs wrap around his torso as he moves slowly in and out of you, the head of his cock continuously hitting that gummy sweet spot within you.
“Come on, sweetheart.” Sirius whispers, his voice intense as he can sense your fading hesitation. His hand cups the side of your face. “Tell me to fuck a baby in you.”
Breathing heavily and desperately grasping at him, you nod, giving him the go ahead to do as he pleases with you. The idea doesn’t sound half bad, after all.
#i’ve been sick as a dog for a day or two so i apologize in advance for any typos or grammar mistakes#or if this just isn’t good at all#i have a fever i’m a bit slow rn#forgive me#i love breeding kinks so i’m sure this won’t even be the last of it lmaooo#i’ll reread and correct this when i’m feeling better#but i promised to have this out soon so here it is lol#sirius black#post azkaban sirius#sirius black x reader#post azkaban sirius black x reader#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black one shot
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achilles-rage's twelve days of christmas
day nine: there is no place like home for the holidays (ft. maddie buckley)
summary: it's your first christmas with maddie, and she doesn't feel the christmas spirit, so you spend your day on the couch, watching movies.
word count: 1.1k
series masterlist
a/n: this is kind of like maddie and chimney's first christmas, my b, but i love the premise so much!! and this also feels like half reader's pov and half maddie's, idk why, it just came from my brain that way lol. anyway, enjoy<3
warnings: mentions of doug (derogatory), no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader
“I’m sorry. I just- I don’t really feel like celebrating Christmas this year. It just doesn’t feel right. I don’t know.” Maddie tells you, a frown on her face as she looks at you with sad eyes.
You lower the tickets you had surprised her with into your lap, both of you sitting cross legged on her couch and facing each other. You had seen that your local theatre was doing their rendition of A Christmas Carol, and you thought that Maddie might want to go.
Your eyes soften at her words, because you know exactly why she doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas, and you completely understand.
She’s been slowly revealing more to you about her life with Doug, and all that he’s put her through, and you feel a little stupid for even bringing it up.
“Oh, my God. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t even thinking. It’s just that it’s our first Chrismtas together, and I thought that maybe doing something like that would be cool, but I totally understand. I can just sell the ti-” you ramble quickly, your arms flailing about.
She cuts you off quickly with a shake of her head, though, reaching a hand out and placing it on your forearm. Her touch feels warm, and gentle, and as loving as the last few months have been with her, and you’re just glad that your decision hadn’t completely fucked it all up.
“Please don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong. I just- I’d rather just sort of, not do anything for Christmas. Is that okay with you?” she asks unsurely. You can see the doubt swirling in her eyes, as if she’s waiting for an outburst, and your heart aches.
Maddie has been nothing but kind, and sweet, and you can’t believe that Doug had been able to strip her of her safety and her loving heart for so long.
“Of course it’s okay; this doesn’t change anything. If you don’t want to do Christmas, we won’t do Christmas.” you tell her earnestly, placing your hand over hers, which is still on your forearm.
She lets out a quiet sigh, smiling softly as she nods.
“Thank you.” she whispers, and you smile back, tilting your head to the side as you admire her features.
You can feel yourself getting pulled in by her warm, brown eyes; just like the first time you had met, and you lean into her slowly, pressing your lips together in a featherlight kiss.
She moves just as slowly towards you, and you melt into the kiss, feeling the cool metal of her rings against your cheek as she raises a hand to cup your face. You mirror her actions, one of your hands moving to her cheek as the other holds her wrist gently, and you feel the scent of her perfume enveloping you as you inhale a deep breath when your lips part.
“You never have to thank me for listening to what you need.” you whisper back, keeping your foreheads pressed together for a moment. She smiles, and you can see the heat rushing to her cheeks at your words.
You’re such a harsh contrast from Doug, one that she welcomes completely.
While Dough was hard, and loud, and all rough around the edges, you’re soft, and warm, and someone who would never dream of raising your voice at someone you love, let alone your hand.
When Christmas finally comes, you show up at Maddie’s with snacks, some Chinese takeout, and a teeny tiny Christmas tree hidden away in your bag. She might ask you to put it away, and that’s okay, but you want to give her the option of having at least a little piece of Christmas today in case she changes her mind.
When she opens the door, her heart nearly bursts at the sight; you in your comfy clothes, a large bag of what she assumes are her favourites, chinese food, and a wide grin on your face.
“Merry not Christmas.” you joke softly, raising your shoulders as your smile turns to a sheepish one.
She pulls you in with a giggle, lips meeting yours effortlessly as she ushers you through the entryway and into the living room, like you’re both so used to it that neither of you have to think about your actions.
When you’re finally situated on the couch, you grab your bag from beside you, holding it in your lap as you look over at her unsurely.
“Okay, I brought you something, and you can totally tell me to put it away, or go to hell, or whatever. But, I didn’t want you to completely miss out on Christmas. I know it was your favourite time of the year, and I figured I’d give you the option of having a little piece of it today.” you explain.
Her brows furrow, a small smile on her face as she waits. You finally sigh, then pull the tiny Christmas tree out of your bag and hold it in your hand.
You watch her face as she looks down at the tree, and when one side of her lip quirks up, you let out a relieved sigh, seeing that your surprise isn’t completely unwanted.
“I like it. And, I do miss Christmas, I just didn’t think I could do the whole thing, so this is perfect.” she tells you, then pulls you in for a kiss.
This kiss is more passionate, as though Maddie is pouring all her appreciation for you into it. Her lips are soft against yours, and you hum softly, extremely glad that you hadn’t overstepped.
“Okay, so what do we want to watch? I’m guessing no Christmas movies, so we could do romcoms, or action, or drama. Whatever you want.” you begin when you pull away, moving closer towards her on the couch.
Your sides are pressed together when she sighs contentedly, resting her head on your shoulder. She feels so safe in this moment, and she can’t believe that you knew exactly what she needed. She looks down at the Christmas tree you placed on the coffee table in front of you, and she feels herself grinning as she lets the calmness invade her senses and bring her back down to Earth.
“How about a Christmas movie?” she asks in a quiet voice, just barely above a whisper. She didn’t think she’d want Christmas at all after Doug, but with you, having a day dedicated to spending time with people you love and telling them you love them, makes so much sense.
notes: likes/comments/reblogs would be much appreciated if you liked this<33
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#911 abc#maddie buckley#maddie buckley han#maddie han#maddie buckley x plus size!reader#maddie buckley x plus size reader#maddie buckley x reader#maddie buckley fic#maddie buckley imagine#maddie buckley oneshot#911 x plus size!reader#911 x plus size reader#911 x reader#911 fic#911 imagine#911 oneshot#plus size!reader#plus size reader#twelve days of christmas
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But I gave you evidence of more symptoms present in Nico's character? Like, yes, flashbacks and nightmares are the most prevelant in the narrative, but I didn't really stretch the narrative to find the other criterium, they're very strongly alluded to. And I think you're forgetting the story is from Apollo's POV, not Nico's, so how in depth we can go is depended solely on Apollo's knowledge. Like, I said, I will not be speaking on how accurate the rep is, but I've given you all the criterium and where he's met it, and I wouldn't say I extrapolated most of it. Much of it just comes from common subtext, ie, the irrirability is extremely present throughout TON but especially in the scene following where you quoted (ie, his apple rotting unintentionally) Also note, I'm not talking about Nico's anger at Will for leaving out a line of the prophesy, that was justified, and something that they had to work out (off page, because if I'm being honest, I would not want to read a scene of them getting over their miscommunication from the POV of one of the character's fathers.) But, I'll admit Will was definitely in the wrong for that.
And yes, I know he's not a toddler, but he's still a kid? He's fifteen, sixteen at most. And repetitively being placed in trauma does grow you up prematuraly but rarely is that in a healthy way. Maybe Will is a jerk, as you eloquently put it, maybe he's not, but his age, and everyone's age, should still be noted. Not everyone has healthy outlets for trauma, and Will's, based on context, is taking control of situations (especially under medical juristicion) to the point where he seems mean. Is that healthy? No. But I don't think that makes him a bad person (character) but rather a realistic teen that has character growth to do. Like you said, the narrative mentions Will to be kind (my first thought is him buying Apollo clothes in TON), and I think that he tries to be but stress makes it hard. Having to do it constantly doesn't negate that fact.
As for Will telling Apollo without a scene of Nico giving explicit permission, I have always read that scene as Will having prior permission to tell Apollo from Nico off screen, though I may be off base with that. It makes sense to me that Nico and Will would have had a conversation about telling Apollo since Apollo is heavily involved, but I get that could be interpreted otherwise. HIPPA is very important, and maybe we should've gotten a scene where Nico says it's okay, but Apollo hasn't seen Nico since he ran away when Jason's death was confirmed when this scene takes place because Apollo passes out right away and the next day Nico is eating breakfast with Mr. D, so there really isn't a time for Will to have asked Nico on page as the novel is now.
Also, it's not too out there to think that Nico and Will would have talked about it when they talked about the poem prophecy, especially since at no point in TON Nico seems surprised that Apollo seems to know about his PTSD.
Though, I must admit doing it at breakfast where Kayla cam listen in (and, Austin, Jerry, Yan, and Gracie) isn't the best move on Will's part unless we assume they already know, but I have no evidence that sways either way in that case.
And I like doing this research and deep dive into their characters. I wouldn't have studied psych and english if I didn't, so I'm not wasting my time. I'm having a great time looking into deeper motives and examining their personalities. But, at the end of the day, we both can be right, because both Nico and Will are fictional characters whom we are just dissecting through reader response theory and psychoanalytic theory (both of which I am mostly using to dissect my argument) if I know one thing about Critical Methods and the study of analysing literature is that every person has a different view, and comprehend things differently.
That being said, I have been enjoying learning about your point of view and how your comprehending the media, even if it differs from my own. I believe I am picking up the subtext that you are getting annoyed at wasting your time with me, and for that I am sorry, but if you are willing, I can continue talking about this. I sort of do this type of analyses and research for fun, even if I usually don't post them.
@reblogdumpforme
I'm prolly going to get flamed for this, but I'm actually sick and tired of people defending Rick's tokenist queer rep. I feel it is insulting to authors who genuinely write good LGBTQ+ characters.
Now let's take Nico, for eg. People pull out wildest mental gymnastics to make sense of his implied,small PJO crushes on Juniper and Annabeth. Rick retconned it later (nvm the fact that he forcibly and violently outed his first gay character, and basically treated the said outing as a plot point to convey that he's gay...)
But anyways, whenever you try to explain it's tokenist, people say "oh he was blushing around Juniper because Percy was right there!"....yeah, like totally...his so-called crush invited him to his (Percy's) birthday, and Nico didn't even bat an eyelash, yet I'm supposed to believe he's blushing around a random girl because Percy's standing there? Like how does that even make sense...?
Personally, I also feel so miffed that he turned Nico's deep, beautiful platonic love into a crush. (Call me biased if you like; I'm aspec so I always feel put-off when people pretend that platonic love can't be as deep as romantic love).
Also, If that interaction with Annabeth in BotL is brought up, arguments are "oh, he misses his sister"... honestly, it was written like a crush:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b5e9c492b5cdabc9240898fc811efac9/4cfb919108be7385-fd/s540x810/7e81a8ea1f41ac2a3fe22fc3ec31c097c5519f2d.jpg)
Anyways, I'm sorry if this came across as offensive; I'm willing to hear your constructive criticism. This is just an opinion.
Lastly, I'd like to add that Bi and bispec people exist, and Rick could've considered that.
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would you bite the hand that feeds you?
#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#wild life smp#namemc spoilers#i hope these two never get along in the storyline i find them fascinating#OKAY SO#originally i had this sketch back in session 2 when scott manages to throw her something actually edible JUST IN TIME#and now with the namemc spoilers of pearl ACTUALLY having a yellow eye which does! kind of match scotts esp since he died for this#i figured itd be an appropriate time#i did edit it though the original was pearl eating smth#now do i think scott and pearl has had any Major (heh) interactions to warrant this fanart in WL?#frankly no LMAO theyve been very civil you go guys . but i like the dynamics between them anyway#also i finally got a piece with scott!!! hes been very hard to draw goodness#anyway long rambly tags#eydidraws#my art#mcyt#trafficblr#galaxyduo#majormoon#** i say civil because its just been more on verbal light jabs at each other rather than anything Really significant ?#and well. its obvious all 3Gs are being very careful around each other which makes me JUST A L IL SAD#id love to see them let loose and be vicious but i also understand the angle theyre coming from#anyway can you tell i like the 3g dynamics
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i was experimenting with face markings, and i realized putting a slice/line over the mouth makes it look unnervingly like a third eye in the right positions. its kind of cursed and i love it, so expect this to be a new oc if i dont use the idea for another slugcat of mine
#gosh i love these plus sign eyes but if i said it wasnt a pain in the ass making facial markings id be lying#its hard for me to come up with shapes that work *with* the eyes rather than fighting against them for attention/real estate#i did okay with varkey and struck fucken gold with knoll and thats about it#which is why i normally rely on facial/body diversity instead of markings if i want to tell two uncolored slugcats apart#but to be fair while there is a lot of stuff that gets hard to pull off with this eye shape#theres also design potential that didnt exist before like the eye mouth thing. so tradeoff#rainworld#my art
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6bb5905475832f661df2ac9f5297da58/9f219b7b60959324-d6/s540x810/b51af79eb16270ad43a3cbb9d3a6d4d4c29f6c04.jpg)
#p4#persona 4#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#EVERYDAY IM HOWLING. EVERYDAY IM SCREAMING.#for context this comes at the heel of yosuke charging at mitsuo kubo in rage because of his flippance towards killing saki and he's hit har#but souji and kanji jump in to protect him#like ok a lot of things going on here such as the obvious OH MY GODDDD yosuke being yosuke and taking things on for himself#because he doesn't want to bother people?? because he's made it his own responsibility? because his survivor's guilt is still lingering?#i mean don't tell me he doesn't look at how he surrendered to his shadow like apart from his self-sacrificing propensity#i low key feel like everytime yosuke demands answers about saki's death from the murderer/god/etc there's this undertone of how#he would rather it have been him#he cheapens his own life so much and for what#BUT ALSO!! ALSO!! not just souji jumping in because we know he would he's down bad for yosuke BUT ALSO KANJI#listen you've all heard me talk so much about how i adore kanji yosuke friendships#i can't really tell whether it's kanji or souji that says “haven't we earned your trust yet” but it's a line that hits SO HARD#regardless of which one of them was saying it and i think it hits hard in slightly different manners#it's kanji's admiration and how he looks up to yosuke and how he wants to be closer to yosuke as a friend/kouhai/whatever you want#tatsumi “who's your partner now!” kanji has so much respect for yosuke he wants yosuke to rely on him too!!!#and this stands out because kanji is very conscious of social hierarchies and such but as a kouhai as yosuke's junior#he's so specific about wanting yosuke to treat him as an equal#i smtimes feel bad for kanji because he has a bit of that vibe of a poor puppy trailing after souyo because he wants to be in their convos!#he wants to be included! but critically he also just! wants them to SEE him!!#going a lil off tangent but i think kanji's attitude towards souji is very much one of kouhai respect like he understands his place#of like deferring to souji or getting advice from him and just generally regarding him as a reliable mentor#and it's the same with chie and yukiko? but idk man. with yosuke. guys. with yosuke i always feel like kanji wants to break that hierarchy#that convention. that social norm. to cross a line and be closer to yosuke.#he's more willing to tease yosuke in a way he doesn't with the other 2nd years. and this isn't coming from a place of disrespect either#AGAIN. KANJI REALLY LIKES YOSUKE. he wants to protect yosuke!!! he jumps at the opportunity for yosuke to rely on him!!#i'm getting delulu but there's those hints of “yosuke senpai i want you to see me as a man!!!” kind of energy here and i'm it's yknow hmm
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casey is obvs funny with this rivalry stuff because on the one hand he's very 'well I don't care who I beat' (lie) and 'I don't motivate myself using my rivals' (also a lie) and then he's also repeatedly emphasising that valentino was ONE of his biggest rivals and he only competed against him a few years... like a lil side quest in the story of his career. Those Few Years where valentino was his big rival. whereas dani and jorge were his cohort so he did compete with them for a greater span of time... and this is technically true and does MATTER but it is also extremely noticeable in his output which rivalry he has the most thoughts about. and yes casey would say that this is because everyone ELSE cares the most about That One Rivalry the most and also his opponent being an annoying dickhead means it's the one he has the most complaints about... but at a certain point, it doesn't really matter, because there's still one rivalry you're talking about way more than any other. you can tell that he's at least given jorge's interiority a bit of thought, kinda went 'well he was arrogant but also Learnt From The Error Of His Ways and was maybe misunderstood so' -- but also he's not going beyond that, he's not examining jorge's soul, and he's not even doing any of that with dani. it's very much a rhetorical commitment to those other two rivalries. ultimately the point is that he's doing what he can to not talk up his biggest rivalry TOO much, because, you see. he Did Not Care That Much. (lie.) now objectively speaking this kind of framing literally does not matter, who cares which one of these was the most meaningful rivalry, but it's interesting that it matters to him!! casey's problem is that he is extremely sensitive and cares deeply about what other people say about him, but one of the things he's most sensitive about is the idea that he could let himself be mentally affected by ANYTHING, worst of all his rivals. they cannot be granted that much power over him. and all of this has kinda funny consequences in that he has pretty rigid patterns in how he talks about this stuff that are at times quite convoluted because he has to simultaneously emphasise that a) none of his rivals massively mattered to him, b) That Rival didn't matter more than the others, c) what That Rival did to him was completely beyond the pale, and d) none of that affected him mentally whatsoever. at most one of these is true. there are so many things casey wants so badly not to care about but it keeps spilling out of him anyway, this oozing sludge of resentment and repressed hopes and desires and frustration and longing and bitterness. he keeps giving himself away... he cares so much and he can't stand it
#i do feel bad sometimes using a clip from when he was like. eighteen as my smoking gun piece of evidence for the prosecution#but come on. that valencia 2003 clip is insanely telling. like yeah right you loved beating a guy sponsored by the circuit#it's kinda like dyke!vale tormenting his first gp rival into throwing in the towel. those are the Key Character Traits they're exhibiting#//#brr brr#heretic tag#i do also think there's some interviews where there's like. some real retconning. like casey that was Not You#that one interview where he was going in HARD about how jorge/dani were confused about how happy he was for them winning#and like casey buddy there's an element of truth to but you could be a notoriously sore loser!! mr 'a podium this far off isn't worth it'#and it's partly stuff he's talked about before with how self-critical he was... but of COURSE it could come across as unpleasant#i am doing my best not to get repetitive so this is the LAST time i am airing this complaint for a couple months at least#but the problem is if you have the starting point of him as like. a straight talking straight shooter or whatever#you do automatically miss a lot of the nuance with which he's constructing his own image#it's honesty based on vibes rather than literal honesty. u can be blunt and calculating idk what to tell u#im so fascinated if the jorge wheelchair story is true... i recently remembered it was also in the broadbent book#and that ducati pr people had like. gotten mad about it. which does fill one or two gaps and makes me think maybe it DID happen#idk there's something quite revealing about it!! casey isn't just a dickhead in the classic athlete mould. he's got a *nastiness* to him#all the aliens are occupational dickheads. only two of them i'd say have a real inclination towards nastiness
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#i told my friend i would go to a con with her in december and paid for my portion already but i kept getting super depressed thinking about#going to the con#and i mainly said yes because she has bad social anxiety and i wanted to support her#but i went to a con with one of my other friends a while ago and i am totally out of it#mentally and emotionally when it comes to anything fandom related. exept anime con but that's because i like seeing ppls costumes.#it's like i am a ghost of myself.#also i have expenses that keep piling up and i was like 'even if i don't get the whole refund i would rather have the money than go#on a trip just to be miserable'#so i kept putting it off but then i was like 'well i need to tell her at least a month before or else that is going to be really bad'#so i told her last night that things came up and i couldn't go (things is work/needing to save my money). like i know i already paid for it#but my partner is having a hard time making rent and i am having a hard time keeping a job so...#and i haven't told her any of this i just said 'things came up'#so she was naturally quite upset with me and said she “didn't give a shit if [i] lose money” but would pay me back for the con tickets#and the flight#like... she has always been brutally honest and (maybe?) autistic-coded so i tried not to let it get to me. i totally get being upset#and i am somewhat bothered with myself that i even said yes in the first place & then went back on it/waited so long to decide#but also i didn't expect to be paying my partner's half of the rent for a few months sooo.....#yeah#at least i will get half back and then i don't have to worry about asking for time off if i get a secondary job soon which i definitely nee#vent#delete later#tw financial issues
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idk man I just think of all the franchises you could try to make the Next Big Thing by creating a bunch of new shows and movies, maybe don't pick the one with the notoriously nitpicky obsessed with canon fandom ?? if you don't plan on applying any sort of consistency to the world, characters, alien cultures, entire ethical and moral framework of the universe, etc etc ????
#I'm reluctant to tag this as star trek and get a bunch of angry folks coming at me#though also lbr SW isn't looking too crash hot these days either for the same reasons#but yes this is about that snw trailer#and the section 31 trailer#and all of the new Kurtzman Trek era lbr#like if you like the new stuff then you do you bestie#I've been enjoying Prodigy myself!!!#but I've bounced off every other show pretty hard after each first season#because the simultaneous disregard of FUNDAMENTAL aspects of the universe / established characters and lore#while also religiously adhering to SOME of the established canon (mostly the newly established stuff)#has been driving me up the wall#hell even Prodigy has been hard now they've set it up to lead into Picard#like no thanks I don't accept any version of events where Bev never tells Jean Luc about their son and goes to raise him alone#like they make all the stupidest shit canon and adhere to it#while also making say being a Vulcan a matter of DNA rather than cultural upbringing#nevermind literally half a dozen other shows which show that's NOT how that works#I am genuinely curious how many folks like me have bounced off the new stuff never to return lol#(though okay I do keep up with trailers and sometimes reviews to see if it sounds worth coming back for which it never does)#or only watched bits and pieces#and are meanwhile enjoying their eighth or ninth or twenty second rewatch of TOS/TNG/DS9/VOY/ENT#like do they really have the numbers showing up to even watch this new stuff???#lower decks was the most popular it seemed and that's ending#but I can't help but think that if they'd stuck to the quality storytelling and a more or less coherent established universe#that were ... you know ... the defining aspects of the franchise ....#that they might have actually succeeded at finding a new audience looking for prestige science fiction television
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:/
#Is there anyone who could recommend me a good vpn?#Last time I had trouble with reading the new chapter because m/angadex apparently became blocked in my region#and the scanlation team didn't upload it to Tumblr :/#Normally I use the vpn that comes with Avira but the day the chapter dropped it didn't work for some reason#and I really don't want it to happen again.#It's quite hard to tell which sites are trustworthy online so I actually rather be recommended something by someone#random rambles
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yes it's just me whining about the same thing for the billionth time, pls just scroll past nothing new to see here 👋
#i just want to enjoy the summer but i feel like i don't deserve to if i'm not constantly trying to become employed again 😭#''apply for jobs then? problem solved'' uh-huh yes but!! i also hate applying for jobs#job seeking can be so incredibly humiliating#first i have to send them a letter BEGGING to be invited to an interview#and then i have to try and convince them that i am actually competent and good at my job even though you have my cv right there#and then afterwards they call me to tell me they found someone who they liked better than me#(or rather someone who was more competent than me judging by their work history etc.)#it's like ''yes we are hiring but not YOU specifically lol''#like. at school if you take a test you get the grade you deserve based on how you did in the exam.#it's something you can actually directly affect yourself#but if someone who's applying for the same job with me has more work experience or whatever they will get hired over me no matter what i do#(at least that's how it usually works on my field)#in which case it doesn't matter if i do well in the interview or nah. bc the other person was always going to be picked for the job anyway#and yes one could say i can then be satisfied if i did my best but it's little consolation when i'm still unemployed!!#and so every time i apply for a job and get rejected it feels like a personal failure#and to avoid that feeling of failure i want to avoid applying for jobs altogether#so yeah. being active in job seeking is more likely to relieve me from this misery but job seeking is ALSO misery. so 🤷♀️#that on top of the fact i don't even _want_ to apply for all the open positions on my field#but i feel obliged to because it's what i have a degree on. and when i'm unemployed i don't have the luxury to choose which ones i apply fo#i can't afford to be picky#I DON'T DREAM OF LABOUR I JUST NEED MONEY TO LIVE BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO DO JUST ANY JOB! I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THAT!#i don't want to come home crying from work every day because i hate every single aspect of my life INCLUDING my job 😭#when this semester i actually HAD a job i didn't mind waking up to every morning 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair#to conclude i don't deserve to enjoy myself in the summer because i'm not doing enough to fix my unemployement situation#(just like i don't deserve to feel sad about being lonely because i don't work hard enough to maintain deep friendships#but that's a crisis for another day! stay tuned ✌️)
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