#Which tbf is important in my line of work

[bonefall]

where’s that little horror piece about kits never growing up in Starclan? because I remember it so vividly but I can’t find it.

The one about Bright Stream?

Weird that it's so hard to find! It's probably because it's got such heavy tags lmao.

I really mean it though like, canon's permakitten system and the idea that Bright Stream is up there, forever taking care of fetus children who were filled by sudden knowledge and yet never grow past that point absolutely horrifies me. Jesus Christ. I don't know how anyone reads that final scene in Path of Stars and isn't filled with itching, white-hot existential dread, man.

Sometimes you just gotta write horror about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

hang on are cougars like panthers

[gender-euphowrya]

the way i'm finding so many areas and quests that i completely missed on my first playthrough has me wondering if i even had my eyes fucking opened

[fima11]

Can I ask about artists that inspire you? I don't know if you've answered this before, but you once mentioned surrounding yourself with artists you'd like to emulate. Do you have any online? Love your stuff btw!

Hello! Yes, I have active artists who inspire me. As I wrote in the post you mentioned, it's important for me to have an artist to learn from. So here are few whose posts I never skip! (it's gonna be long ughh)

Kamome Shirahama (author of "Witch Hat Atelier" manga) (@ shirahamakamome on twitter)

Kamome Shirahama is incredibly talented, and I admire the way she always manages to give her figures visual weight through the fabric movements. To me her art is a perfect balance of realism and stylization, and that's just what I want to pursue in my own art. I think I need to admit I always look at her illustration to find the way to give my characters fluidity of movements and ease of shape.

Ryoko Kui (author of "Dungeon Meshi")

I don't really know if she has an account, but to me her art is a way to learn shapes better.

I am a very big fan of "less is more" concept, so when I see artist being able to put their characters to life within simple lines and soft shapes, I am automatically interested.

I know Ryoko Kui's, as much as Kamome Shirahama's art, is far from simple - it's perfectly balanced in terms of realism and style, her characters feel volumetric and grounded, that's why I like to study her art, trying to break it down piece by piece.

But let me share my favorite artists who are not mangakas, whose works I never skip!

ELIOLI / @/ elioli-art (Elena and Olivia Ceballos)

(Especially their 2021 art, which fascinates me till this day)

Variety of their art is wide, but I like to learn the most from their scenes and landscapes. Check their account (they also have a twitter account as far as I know)!

And also these arists!! Their illustrations and skills really inspire me: everything from colors to structure of their scenes.

Tbf I have endless amount of artists who I am willing to learn from, but I have adhd and can't even remember who I follow!!

Don't forget that you should look at every artist with desire to understand their work, if you are an artist too. Maybe I just want to complicate things, but every piece of art to me is an opportunity to learn and try out something new. But it's really important to find something you are comfortable with!

Sorry for yapping so much though. <3

[hello-is-anyone-there]

Vague Guide to Gothic Academia

Lebanon Hanover (totally not because they're my favorite to write to nooo)

Franz Gordon has some really beautiful piano pieces I highly recommend if you want more classical goth music

Danse Macabre

Hannibal Lector (NBC included)

Criminology

Law in general actually

Religious studies

Come on guys the catholic aesthetics are pulling through here

Victorian collars

Leather gloves

Menthols (this one is just a personal preference, don't smoke)

As much as I hate to say it, Schopenhauer and Roubiczek

I really dislike dark philosophy but it just lines up so well >:[

Moving on to something I like far more: Taxidermy

I'm thinking mostly bones or wet specimens

Normal taxidermy works too but I think it'd clash with dorm space

Leather, silk, and velvet are good staple textures in my opinion

Which does make this harder to style in the summer but tbf dark linens have such a nice flow

The moon, obviously

Astrophysics in general. The stars and the vast existentialism of space are such a good niche. Also I don't see as much STEM majors in these things as I'd like

I'm an arts man for sure, fucked up over literature and philosophy sure, but SCIENCE BRO

That shit is so dark especially going into death studies or psychology

Honestly being a doctor in general can fuck you up

Always smelling like a cadaver (perfume or otherwise...)

Long coats, heavy boots, ties, chains, trad and victorian goth gear both work here

I do like to lean more into dark academia visually with gothic academia, just because my wardrobe would have too much of the same shit going on

Dark sweaters, waist coats and corsets, well fitting suit pants, a well structured light colored blouse usually help balance out

Gothic academia in my opinion is balance between structure and loose chaos

Makeup can also be important for a look so I suggest, strong sharp contor, white accents and dark liner. A red/maroon lip is a good choice for dark makeup in general.

I got distracted by the visual elements woops

A lot of the staple dark academia books work really well

A good murder plot always helps

The Divine Comedies - Dante

The Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux

Carmilla - Sheridan Le Fanu

NIGHT CLASSES!!!

I can't believe I forgot that one

Getting drunk on Absinthe and red wine like a damn vampire

[kaija-rayne-author]

I guess the discourse today is about Astarion being the favourite poster boy of the devs to the detriment of the other characters.

Yes. That's unequivocally true. Wyll having so little compared to Astarion is also an example of racism.

It's also capitalism. Larian can't make more games unless BG3 does well. So far it has, so in their choice of poster boy they chose correctly.

Every business, especially entertainment ones, follows a similar model. Develop stories or games that the previous game helped fund. It's common in book publishing too.

(Which, tbf, is my realm of knowledge, but the business facts are the same.)

What you, if you're indie, or the publisher, if not, chooses to spend time on is the thing/character/aspect/story that will sell the most copies so they can stay in business.

They bet on Astarion being popular because:

1. Vampire, vampire stories don't seem to get old. People want more.

2. White hair, if you're at all into gaming or anime, you should recognize the white-haired anime boy coding Astarion has.

3. He's pretty. In games & books like these, people want to get turned on or be sucked into emotions, that's rather the point. So, of course, they made him pretty and gave him an angsty backstory about it. Have you noticed that his vampire fangs are the more traditional style and the rest have funky (and likely more efficient) chompers with the fangs on the front teeth?

4. Twink, you'd have to be really not paying attention to not notice that one. They tend to be attractive to the largest section of players.

6. Slow burn, a lot of people prefer slow burn romance.

7. Classically handsome. You could turn him into a statue (and can!) and he wouldn't look out of place.

I don't experience this type of point form character building, my characters tend to march fully formed into my head and demand I write them.

But Astarion was built as a fictional character that would (hopefully) capture a broad cross-section of players and give the game some more sex appeal.

Sex sells.

I'd lay money I don't have on every aspect of Astarion's character having been a deliberate choice to encourage sales.

And that's fine. That's what capitalism does. Don't like it? Start voting for social support programs and things like ubi so that people can create without worrying about the bills.

Is it fair to the other characters and to the gamers who love other characters more than Astarion? Absolutely not. I do hope Larian gets the message and produces more content to make them all equivocal.

Especially for Wyll, they did him so dirty.

Is Wyll having the least lines and scenes racist? Yup.

Larian, despite their faults, produced something that so few games companies have done recently. A single purchase, single player RPG without micro-transactions that was an excellent game straight from release.

Other games companies are bitching about that because it's like sand in the oyster of their business models.

Which, for a while now, has been to roll out a game that wasn't ready yet and use the players as unpaid, uncompensated labour to find bugs etc. As a gamer, I've really hated that.

Did Larian fuck up? Uh, yeah. On several issues. But they also made an amazing game that was awesome from release.

It would be a shame to lose sight of that.

It's important to call out the shite when we see it, but the current 'it has to be perfect for me, or I won't play' attitude rampant on the 'net these days is disturbing to say the least.

I've read Larian has a feedback thing on fridays. If this really bothers you, hustle on over and participate in the feedback session.

They're still actively working on the game. They can still make changes and they seem reasonably responsive to fan feedback.

But just remember... the reason Astarion is the poster boy with the most content is because of capitalism. It was likely a cold, business focused decision vs anything else.

Which doesn't make it better. I just figured inserting a bit of entertainment business knowledge might be helpful to the discussion.

[princess-pine-cone]

AO3 wrapped!

How many words have you written this year? 132,943

How many works did you publish this year? - Twelve!

What work are you most proud of? - I’m pretty proud of my ElevenRose fic the girl who didn’t have to wait! It’s a silly AU I never expected anyone to care about but yeah!

What work of yours has the most hits? - A Harry Potter one I’d rather not talk about. I’ve moved on!

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? - As I said already, I really wasn’t expecting the girl who didn’t have to wait to pop off, but I’m super proud of it!

Favorite title you used - The Second Monopoly Incident made me laugh when I thought of it

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? - I don't use song lyrics, but I listened to so much Kesha while writing lmao

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? - TIMEPETALS MY BELOVED

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? - I ONLY WROTE TWO BUT TIMEPETALS TOPS

What work was the quickest to write? - It was never meant to happen was a drabble so that one

What work took you the longest to write? - NESTING TOOK ME FOR FOOKIN EVER ONLY TO GET SEVEN KUDOS (Tbf the ship isn’t even a tag soooo)

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? - 0-0 too many

What’s your longest work of the year? - The girl who didn’t have to wait at somewhere around 60k!

What’s your shortest work of the year? - It was never meant to happen

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? - GIRL WHO DIDN’T HAVE TO WAIT BABYYYYYY

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? - Bisexual Rose Tyler, not because it’s important to the fic, but because it’s important to me

Your favorite character to write this year? - LITTLE AMY POND she’s practically a self insert for little me so yeah

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? - Reinette is driving me batty currently

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? - Timepetals. They’re my vibe rn

Which work of yours have you reread the most? - The girl who didn’t have to wait gets reread regularly because of continuity

How many kudos in total did you get this year? - 1,099!

Which work has the most comments? - The girl who didn’t have to waits comments outweigh kudos

Did you do any collaborative works this year? - nooooo I’m bad at those

Did you write any gifts this year? - Yes!! One for Bobcatblah who was having an awful day, and one for Caedmon to entice her back to the fandom like its a trail of cookies make her feel better too!

Did you receive any gifts this year? - No lol, I’m always the gifter cause im good at it

What’s your most common category? - Hmmm het this year I think, but can Rose/Doctor really be counted as het when the Doc is genderqueer?

What do you listen to while writing? - KESHA and silence.

Favorite work you wrote this year? - The girl who didn’t have to wait will always take out that title

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? - “Amy, wait up love!” Rose called as the excitable nine year old bounded away from the TARDIS. Unfortunately as children’s ears are purely ornamental, Amy ignored Rose and continued her galloping pace right up to Jackies flat. Rose sighed, but had been expecting nothing less, and so increased her own speed to a jog.

Biggest surprise while writing this year? - Hmm probably just how much I actually enjoy writing!

[sleepymccoy]

Alright, I have been thinking about spaceships!!

Basic premise, we don't have light speed tech so it's all within the solar system. Moons and some planets are terraformed, there are space stations, so on. I haven't designed anything with fake gravity, so the ships would need to handle gravity and zero grav in space. That's mostly fixtures though, the structure is fairly unchanged I reckon, cos it does all still need to work in gravity. Because of that, the engines are taking up a bit of space. And i've tried to leave some dead space in the ship cos i'm sure i'll come up with more scientific necessities, like I'm already thinking about constantly having to create fuel to burn to leave orbit.

Other thing, this ship has to work in three ways. One, space flight/leaving orbit stuff. Two, can park on solid ground and has a functional trade door. Three, has some way of fishing while hovering over the open ocean. That's why every ship has a "fishing" zone for the fishing part of things. They're all at the bottom of the ship, obvs.

Also, you'll probably get this from my writing the pros and cons, but this is for a romance that just happens to be set in space lol

First of all, the UFO

Basic UFO design premise. One big wide disc, on one level.

Pros: I can fuck around with the design on the one level pretty freely, and don't need to commit to shit For example, storage and rooms should def swap cos rooms can have windows then. This can have whole areas the pov character doesn't go to very easily. Open plan means secrets and privacy are harder to have, encourages drama.

Cons: The design doesn't make sense against like air drag and leaving orbit. It' so not aerodynamic. Maybe it takes off at a 90 degree angle, so like every room has a take off chair fitted to the wall cos it's gonna flip to its side. Okay, that's kinda fun, this shouldn't be in the con line anymore but whatever. It's a good example that all cons can be overcome x

Second, let's look at the Slice

Pros: Small and intimate. There's less rooms so everyones sharing a room with another shift, which gives everyone a unique friendship with one person on another shift schedule. Can't hang out in your room, so gotta see other people, encourage interaction. Tbf, I can make that happen in the other designs if I decide it's too cool to skip

Cons: also not aerodynamic. Very good in space or staying in gravity. Maybe it has another way it sorta collapses in to leave orbit, like the angle bit on the hangy downy slides up to be more like an arrow head. Yeah alright, there' another con that's become a cool pro. Actual con! Not having your own room lessens how easy it is to have sex. Although i guess the shifts undo that, cos you wouldn't want to risk waking the person who's got the room rn. Could be a fun pro as secret sex is much harder to do. Ugh

The Ball

Pros: Hysterical. Quite a bit of space. Confusing layout gives you nooks and crannies to bump into someone in a sexual tension way. Aerodynamic enough i guess? Fucking wild looking, it's just a big ol ball. I could redesign this a bit to be like a luxury yacht that's been refitted to be a fishing boat, which'd add some fun world building stuff. And some crazy down time options

Cons: This feels the most disjointed to me really. And it would be so damned hard to build. Oh, the multi level idea, which i kinda forget when drawing, is that 1B would be accessible through floor holes in the 2C corridors. They probably dont line up cos I forgot about it. Actually, they kinda nearly do. Cool.

Here's a poll so you can choose lol. I'll do another poll in reblogs with some of the features so you can suggest what you think is the most important feature, if you really want to have a say! I love feedback and brainstorming, so please, bring your heart <3

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Florrickology, Part 3: Wyll's Womancrush Wednesday

If Wyllyam Ravengard is gonna do one thing, it's gush about powerful ladies his dad works with big misty heart eyes and his goblet overflowing with Respect Women Juice. While it seems BabyWyll didn't hold a candle for Florrick like he did for Duke Stellmayne, he regards her as a knightly badass to aspire to, just like dear ol' dad.

Thus, when probed about her in Act 2, he delivers the following glowing endorsement... which is also implies some weird things about his (s)hero, when you really think about it.

Player: Can we trust Florrick? Wyll: I was eleven when the counsellor spotted and slayed an assassin who stalked father from the shadows. Wyll: I was thirteen when she brought word of a goblin warband advancing on Rivington. Her keen scouting saved a hundred lives that day. Wyll: The counsellor's loyalty to my father is beyond question. She's as steady as Tyr's heartbeat, as upstanding as the Sword Mountains.

These lines are a prime example of what exactly I meant by 'unintended characterization' in Florrickology Part 1. The point of this conversation is just to confirm that, yes, the player should trust and continue to cooperate with Florrick because her loyalty is well-proven. What Wyll literally says about her isn't important; it's the impression they leave you with that matters.

The writers possibly didn't really mean to imply anything extra with these lines.

But, they did.

What's more, is they seemingly managed to imply two consistent, if odd, things about her.

Wyll, what do you mean she 'spotted and slayed an assassin'?

Wyll, what do you mean 'her keen scouting'?

Both of these are pretty weird things to say about a woman otherwise presented as a urban public servant... but are they weird things to imply about Florrick? Let's dive in.

Side note: it's also funny yet perfectly in character that Wyll looks upon these subtly bonkers accomplishments with such high esteem, since he is also completely insane but manages to maintain a veneer of "the only reasonable person in the room"

In this universe, the threshold for killing people is admittedly pretty low, but the implication that Florrick kills people sounds sort of strange, especially the add-on that she just straight up and killed someone on the streets--no judge or jury, just executioner.

Florrick, a woman presented as a paragon of virtue, whom Wyll promptly then describes as 'upstanding as the Sword Mountains', kills people? And she is a wizard, so she kills people instead of casting any number of incapacitating spells like Sleep, Command, Hold Person, etc?

Yup-- if they're coming after Ulder Fucking Ravengard!

I will have many thoughts about the debacle that is her confrontation in Act 3 in another post, when she believes Wyll sold his father up the river for his freedom, slaps on a fuckass hood, and comes directly for his head, but at least it's consistent with something. She, like Wyll, looks upon Ulder as a hero and the soul of the city she loves and serves so faithfully, and so she, like Wyll, will scuttle all over creation to find him, take on any enemy to save him, and will treat any attempt on him is an attack that must be answered with impunity.

Moving on to the second line, whereas Wyll's other above is echoed in something else that comes up later, Florrick's alleged prowess as a scout is actually mentioned earlier, in Act 1... to a much less frustrating and much more amusing effect:

In Waukeen's Rest, Florrick states "the Duke has been taken westward, if my eyes and ears are to be believed."

By "my eyes and ears", one might assume she means informants... until you remember she's trapped alone and escapes with the player, so there's no way someone debriefed with her during the 15 seconds between busting down the door and this conversation.

So clearly, she was in the burning inn staring through a burning window , mad as fuck, at the drow dragging him away like

tbf "her eyes and ears" could also be people yelling what's going on from the ground while she's trapped upstairs but shhhh this is for fun

While this is again an odd thing to imply about an urban bureaucrat, this one actually makes a lot of sense... because she's a wood elf, a race famously good at scouting the wilderness.

This is slightly debatable because the game randomly doesn't list her subrace and she lacks the Fleet of Foot trait (implying she's a high elf), but I assume her dress is simply so tight and impractical that it nerfs her movement speed. On top of having a distinctive wood skin tone, she's filed under "wood elves" in the list of character models in game files, and if she dies in Waukeen's Rest, you can report finding a dead female wood elf to the Fist and they immediately know it's her. So it seems the intention was for her to be a wood elf, even if they didn't execute it fully.

So, what's strange isn't so much that she possesses this skill, but rather that she deploys it on such a notable basis.

So, unlike Wyll's first line which reinforces something we come to learn later, this line opens opportunities to wonder what we don't know about Florrick.

In the previous installment of Florrickology, I posited she was possibly around 120-130 years old, but Wyll's examples only account for what she was doing 13 and 11 years ago. Other commentary, such as by Ulder, indicates she's been a friend of the family and a public servant for quite some time, but how long? We could have up to 100 years of life to play with. She well could have been wildin' since before Ulder was even born.

Has she always lived in Baldur's Gate? Was she always a government official? Is she even a Flaming Fist (I don't think so tbh, I think she's just understood to be Ulder's stand-in) or was she and if she was, what kind of shit did she get up to? When and how did she meet Ulder? Was she always a wizard (she is only level 6 in Act 1...)? And endless more questions!

The implication seems to be that she's been an advisor as long as Ravengard has been duke, so like... what was she doing out there at all, 11 years ago, discovering goblins far enough away from Rivington that she could intervene and save the whole town? Hiking? Keeping up with her secret ranger multiclass levels? Picking up a patrol shift to stunt on all the humans by having 4 extra hours in the day to spend in service of the city? Visiting her wood elf polycule in the woods and happened across goblin tracks?

For the discerning background character fan, this is a goldmine.

Speaking of headcanons and Wyll, I have also decided that one of his best and funniest ambient dialogues references Florrick, even though it's completely unsubstantiated:

Wyll: When I was a child, father sent me to Sharess' Caress to deliver messages. How was I to know what went on behind its closed doors? Lae'zel: Eating, sleeping, and sex acts of all manner, of course. Wyll: Hm. What's plain to you wasn't so plain to mini-Wyll. Lae'zel: Mini-Lae'zel wasn't so sheltered. On Creche K'liir, very little is hidden behind doors.

We all know Ulder only has one person he'd need to talk to so damn bad that he'd send his son to bother her at the damn brothel!!!

[exeggcute]

hello! you seem to know a lot about skincare stuff, so i'm curious what products you use for general daily use? i also have adult acne and it's very annoying. i would also appreciate any lip moisturizing ideas if you have any. thank you, and hope your day's going well!

oh yes! although fair warning that I am not a skincare expert at all (I don't even understand half the lingo that people use when they talk about products lol) so take any of my recommendations with a grain of salt...

other than sunscreen, literally all of the stuff I use is either from paula's choice, the ordinary, or good old cerave. I don't even bother trying other brands at this point because I assume they'll just be overpriced junk—plus, you can get almost all cerave products and a good chunk of the ordinary's products at, like, target. I'd also note that you don't need to (and really should not) go out and buy a million things at once; I have a pretty good arsenal at this point but it took me a couple years to build it up by trying one or two new products at a time and seeing what I like.

both paula's choice and the ordinary have "shop by concern" sections on their websites, so if you want actual targeted advice about what to try then I would definitely defer to them lol. but for some specific examples of what I like:

diehard fan of cerave face soaps. they have a foaming pump and a non-foaming pump, depending on whether your skin is more oily or more dry. I mostly use the latter, but since noelle uses the former I'll occasionally steal a pump of the foamy one if I'm having an oily streak lol.

likewise with cerave moisturizer, specifically for your body, but also works great on your face as a final skincare step. will not make you break out. however (important info incoming!!!) the pump lotion is far inferior to the giant tub of lotion—the pump stuff is just kind of watery and sad in comparison. get the tub. you deserve it.

the ordinary hyaluronic acid 2% serum is another "help I have dry skin but also acne" lifesaver. you can apply it directly to (damp!!!) skin or (wet!!!) hair or put a couple drops in your lotion for extra-moisturizing lotion. but it works by drawing outside moisture into your skin/hair, so make sure you're not applying it to dry skin/hair or it can backfire and actually dry you out.

paula's choice enriched calming toner = dry skin savior.

for acne specifically, paula's choice pore-reducing toner fucking rules. it's not harsh at all so you can use it as much as you want. pairs well with paula's 5% AHA exfoliant (which only use when I'm really flaky, since it is a little harsh, but you can temper it by applying lotion right after).

the ordinary azelaic acid 10% suspension is a little tingly, so I only use it when I'm actively breaking out (which tbf is often lol), but it's a great at starving out pimples.

from the paula's choice CLEAR line, I looooove the purifying clay mask. I use this one a couple times a week as needed, usually right after I get out of the shower, and then I'll wash it off and do the rest of my face potions as usual. even if my skin is pretty clear I just like how tight and clean everything feels after. I also recently tried the CLEAR 5% benzoyl peroxide daily skin clearing treatment (only because I got it as a free gift... otherwise I would Not have tried a benzoyl peroxide product lmao. bad memories of childhood acne treatment snake oil shit.) and was surprised how much I liked it, although I've been applying it verrry sparingly. the bottle recommends applying it (1) to your entire face and (2) EVERY DAY, but I've had luck using it as a sporadic spot treatment. pairs well with the enriched calming toner.

I've also been using this prescription tretinoin cream off and on for the past year (from the dubious skincare-as-a-service online pharmacy "forhers" lol) and it's Good but not a miracle. my skin is already pretty sensitive so I try not to use it that often, but it would probably work a lot better if it did. also makes you photosensitive as hell so watch out (sunscreen is a must).

specifically for lip moisturizer, nothing beats plain old burt's bees lip balm imo but if you need something heavy-duty I do like the paula's choice lip and body treatment balm. it's a little greasy but has great staying power and the tub lasts forever!

also important to note. you should always do stuff in this order: wash your face (duh) > toner > other stuff > lotion/moisturizer. I know you're supposed to do the "other stuff" in a specific order if you're stacking multiple products but tbh I just kind of wing it lol.

[bonesandthebees]

PHIL’S POV!!!

I’m gonna cry. The carriage story. How fast his brain works. The stone cold worry for his son’s safety. The threats! His son will be found and the person who did this will pay. Oh and this line single handle destroyed me: [But now, for the first time in his whole life, Wilbur was too far for Phil to reach.] He loves the boy so much, Bee. I can’t handle this amount of love. These are just words on a page. Yet I can feel all the grief and love and worry and anger and sorrow. (Not the mention the constant tension I felt knowing what he was about to be told, just waiting for the anvil to drop).

Also, Wilbur being unable to sleep on carriages is much more of an important plot point than I expected it to be. He falls asleep faster/easier than Tomys because he couldn’t rest on the way there. He must be so tired even his panic can’t keep him awake. (Tbf, the panic attack would probably seep energy too). And then we know both Niki and Phil know him well enough to know he can’t sleep on a moving vehicle. And there’s already so much love stored in Phil deciding to let Wilbur rest first because his son truly is the most important thing to him.

[and Wilbur would jerk his head up with a sharp gasp. For a moment, his eyes would be filled with fear. Then, he would see Phil sitting above him, and all the tension and terror in his small shoulders would drain away as he laid his head back down.] given everything else, I think stabbing me might have hurt less than reading this.

We also know how Niki and Phil know this, which is when they visited Summerdam. And I am, so soft. Phil not sleeping but keeping an eye on his kid and then his kid can’t sleep because things keep waking him up and he gets so upset that his little boy can’t sleep (also the self-control he had then is getting thrown into the wind when his child is in actual danger).

Side note: this is your usual technique of hitting us with the fluff to make the angst hit that much harder. I can’t cope with the fact that Phil forgets to breathe. And he’s so protective, but the one time he lets his son out of his sight / sends him away on his own, something happens to him.

Lastly (because there’s so much in this single section, not to mention everything else, I can’t possible get it all yet, I am still skipping over So Many Things) Phil’s brain works so damn fast. He subconsciously knows the second the turns around and sees Sneeg (though hearing him already kinda sets off the alarms). And then everything else quickly falls into place. He knows something happened to his son and he knows it was foul play and whoever responsible better pray that Wilbur returns alive because there will be no mercy (there will be no mercy at him returning with a broken leg either).

P.s. poor Sneeg who knows this man and who much he loves his son so well (because of now confirmed constant surveillance of said beloved child) and has to be the one to tell him his son might be dead.

-🌲

HE LOVES HIS SON SO MUCH!!! I literally added that carriage story to show everyone how much phil loves that boy. he's not the best at showing it but the love is there. and I wanted to show that while phil does like getting his answers fast and prioritizes information, he would rather let wilbur rest and catch up on his sleep before asking him what happened at L'mannes. he's doing all of this for wilbur, so his wellbeing comes first and foremost

love that you felt like you were stabbed. that's how I felt writing it. I did this to myself but oh my goddddd

he just wanted wilbur to sleep on the carriage ride but he just couldn't relax and he'd be so scared when he was startled awake until he saw his dad and he was so little spruce he was only ten years old and phil just wanted his little boy to get some rest aaaaa

it's so funny when you point out that technique of mine because I don't even always do it intentionally. with this I didn't sit there going "oh I'm going to add this fluff scene specifically to make everything that follows worse" I added it bc I wanted to show the depth of how much phil loves wilbur. it just also has the bonus effect of making everything so much worse

yes phil's mind works so quickly because he's incredibly smart. he knows how these things work. not to mention there's also parental instinct at work here because the second he sees sneeg he can feel that something has gone wrong. and he's going to get revenge on whoever hurt his son.

poor fucking sneeg man is just here for a paycheck and now he's gotta tell the consil that his beloved son is missing will probably be presumed dead if they don't find him soon

[uvanuva]

Hi Uva <3 Tell me about your OC?

Hi mira <3 Well, it all started with therapy KSKDSNSKSK

(NOTE: sorry if this becomes a vent session, mira)

(spoiler: it did)

My therapist used to say how important it is for us to name the schemas, feelings or/ and behaviors that weren't actually healthy so we could separate ourselves from those bad thoughts/lines of thinking. That helps understanding they are one way of answering the stressful scenarios instead of "the only way".

So, when I got the bpd diagnosis, she applied the Jeffrey Young's schema test (I'm a sucker for it tbh) so we could work on those traits. One of the most strong ones was Abandonment (which was obvious from bpd) and she asked me to name it. I couldn't go up with any names but I could clearly imagine this angry hurt child. It helps me to understand that sometimes what I'm feeling comes from her, from bpd and fear of abandonment, which is only a part of me and not the definition of uva herself.

It also helps me to not get flooded with the bad emotions and gives me some distance that helps to analyze the situation with a more rational perspective instead of getting drowned in resentment. Imagine her, imagining border, being sad and feeling alone, makes me wanna calm myself down and help her. Almost like helping myself as a kid. Being hero I longed to see.

(She's super honest too, like, brutal chaotic honest)

So yeah, an oc but my personal friend. She's a kid that floats around like a spirit, has an angry face, don't trust people and will leave people behind before they leave her. She can't stand the feeling of abandonment and has anger issues. Black eyes, pigtails, black hair with bangs and she's just trying to protect herself from the scary world tbf. Border can be mad sometimes but she just needs to feel safe and a cozy hug.

(BTW, the therapist idea was for me to give it a name to the schema and actually tell it to shut up. Like: "hey you, shoosh, get lost, I don't wanna hear this negativity cause I'm okay and things are not as bad as you're saying", BUT I COULDN'T DO IT. I WANNA ACTUALLY HELP HER, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO SAY SHUT UP AND BE RUDE??)

For once I'm trying to enjoy myself, having some alone time without feeling alone and she helps me with that too. I'm loving making picrews of her! So fun!

[cheesemonky]

the queen's society

an overview of the universe of mark, david and all their other friends

head's up, this is a very chaotic story line and the amount of illegal activity that these guys discuss and do is unholy 😭

don't blame me, this is all with my friends' input, and this was created a long while back!!

⋆˚⭒｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡⭒˚⋆

CHARACTERS :

DAVID:

he is (not so secretly) in love with his best friend

may or may not have a tiny weenie alchohol addiction

does drugs. and by drugs, i mean caffeine. which he gets from an old lady with dementia. and the caffeine in question is kopiko

dropped out of high school in year 11 because "the IB course is way too hard broski" (tbf it WAS difficult)

used to work at a club... not as a bartender...

met almost all his friends in some sort of sexual encounter. 'almost all' being the key words.

swears on his life that he once lived with 8 other people (he didnt, it was one night, and they were all drunk)

shares an apartment with mark, but mark pays the entire rent. like, david payed the first time, then mark moved in and paid for everything after that, including bills

is 25 but only just started uni because mark says he needs a proper job

MARK:

david is his best friend and love interest

aced high school and actually has his life together

rich ass surgeon but had a side job as a bartender for a while

he says he's only living with david because of david's tendencies, but there's definitely an ulterior motive...

his ex-girlfriend is his therapist, so there's tension there

has this weird thing where he gets kidnapped like, every other day, but somehow makes it out???

prefers wine to beer and makes that one 'ew' face when he sees david's cans and bottles laid all over the floor (which is all the time)

adding onto that, has to give constant reminders to get david to clean them out of the tv room, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, etc. but they're never gone

KAMERON:

gets mistaken for a woman and has to explain that he wears thigh highs and heels solely because they're comfortable ("tf you mean 'heels are comfy'?")

went to high school with mark and david yet still can't handle either of them

no one knows what he does for work, but he's got a pretty good house and a decent car

closeted gay (the closet is made of glass)

visits david every other week to drink, game and get high

the only friend in the group that has never had any sort of romantic relationship

also pretty smart cos he likes to code

STANLEY

rascist asf and no one knows why he's still in the friend group

he's schizophrenic and insists his name is Andleeb (he has names for everyone else as well)

met mark at a convenience store after he tried to rob the cashier, and mark later bailed him out of jail

is dating his drug dealer (actual drugs this time)

finished high school but dropped out of uni

used to be a car mechanic but got fired after a multitude of cars broke down and the company was sued

pretty sporty, major cricket fan

CLYDE

makes and sells meth to most of his friends

tells people that his name is walter white

met david at a brothel an unholy place

went to school with harriet and jim

was never actually part of the main friend group, he was always just... there ig

he and david dated for a while but turns out he only needed david's basement for meth making so they broke up

is dating his client

CHARACTERS THAT AREN'T THAT INTERESTING BUT ARE IMPORTANT TO THE STORY:

Harriett

Jim

Greg

Rebecca

Elizabeth

Rashmi

@hanjiquokkaaa @jinnie-ret <3

[kindred-spirit-93]

and now for a post this blog was made for (take this as free trial of what to expect down the line. fair warning; not to scale)

If I had a nickel for every time a protagonist had to choose between a sword and a guitar, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

the first (and tbf only) two that come to mind are Manolo from the book of life and Kubo from Kubo and the two strings

quick background: manolo had to fight a giant toro (all the bulls his bullfighter family killed ever, and kubo had to defeat his grandfather the moon king in his final form. also he uses a shamisen not a guitar. but it fits the category so theres that)

and its such a beautiful and strange concept; to be presented with the choice of peace via music, or violence (so to speak) by the sword, and it works. the apology song moved me to tears the first time i heard it and kubo's words are truly beautiful and ones i wont forget.

i think its what the music relays rather than the instrument that brings about a change of heart or leads the hero to victory; their empathy and humanity. family is a prominent theme too, one of love and guidance and ocassionally a source of greivance lol.

i havent watched either films in quite a while (BoL 10 years ago oof) but both songs/ pieces speak so much truth they are able to do what the sword could never achieve. and now for a segment i like to call from where i stand, where i get to link fiction with my life and experiences to provide insight from, say it with me now, where i stand: as an aspiring psychiatrist in a part of the world where mental health is still finding its footing in the public eye and sadly among other healthcare students, its hurts to see how little we listen to each other, compounded by how simple and effective just basic human connection is in somehwat alleviating (albeit temporarily) whatever it is someone is going through. empathy my dudes. it goes a long way.

manolo appologises for the centuries of grief his family profession has inflicted on the bulls, and extends a warm hand of understanding and sincerity, while kubo uses the power of memories and love to prove to his grandfather that so long as he has his eye, an eye capable of seeing (and by extension a heart capable of loving and a soul capable of feeling), he will live and prosper. their humanity prevails and brings peace.

final word: to quote Jonathan Decker from a CT episode i cant remember lol: "Kindness won't always change someone, but it shows them you won't be changed." and i think its an important gap to mind, in the sense that the magic of music or whatever wont fix our real life probelms, like a failing relationship, but kindness and empathy and humanity are all necessary for healing and growth. and that, i believe is the message behind the trope. a good day to you all.

me, an intellectual:

[haljathefangirlcat]

tragic! fanwriter who insists on reblogging "first drafts can be shitty! you don't have to keep editing as you write!" posts actually lowkey obsessed with the idea that all the lines in each paragraph of her stories should not just be well-written but also align in an at least somewhat "orderly", at least somewhat aesthetically pleasing way and absolutely bringing that nonsense into her first draft, which will 100% be edited as she writes for both "this line must be meaningful, poignant, and sound pretty" reasons and "this line can't be this much fucking shorter/longer than that line or the whole paragraph will look ugly" ~reasons,~ leading to a fic more or less already complete in her head taking hours and a ridiculous amount of procrastination just to get to the end of a simple introductory scene.

unreasonable head goblins on record saying "simply justifying the text is cheating/makes the text look flatter."

tbf this weird hang-up's been getting better recently in the sense that a lot of times now it only applies to stories I feel are important to me in some way and that I really care about turning up as good as I can make them. with "lighter" works, I think I'm not quite as finicky anymore. plus, it actually makes me rework my sentences a lot, because ofc they can't just look good together, they also have to make sense singularly and as a whole, say something about the characters and the world, etc. etc. while they're at it, and sometimes that takes some real effort. I was once complimented on my "tight, smooth" paragraphs by someone I think is a very good writer and I admit that my reaction was in part simply beaming at the comment and in part "holy shit, clearly my method works" despite it not really being anything like a method and all evidence that my life would probably be a little easier without it. don't fix ir if it ain't broken, I suppose.

[viperwhispered]

hiiii ner!! throwing you 💭🧪💡and💌 for the fanfic writer ask meme!! -diodellet

Ty for the asks @diodellet! (also good to see you around again, hope the exams and stuff went well!)

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

Tbf, for my reader inserts a lot of it is wish fulfillment - quite often, they’re more or less thinly veiled self-inserts in disguise. Things I’d like to see, things that I personally enjoy, stuff like that. Write what I want to see in the world, basically.

However, there’s also a big part of wanting to elicit emotional reactions in other people. I kinda alluded to this with my previous answers, but like, for me, the important thing is to tell a clear, impactful story - I’m not that interested in experimenting with language, for example, though of course some that comes with the territory, too.

I was an absolutely voracious reader of books as a kid / teenager (until I got my first laptop, oop), and I’d often just chew through books - which means I have forgotten a lot of what I’ve read. However, I still remember one book where the twist in the end hit me right in the feels, and I specifically took a moment to sit with those feelings in order to remember them.

So I just always love it when I can make my writing impactful enough for it to affect someone. I’ve gotten so many great things and highs and lows out of reading, and I want to give some of that back, if I can.

🧪 Do you research for your fics?

If I need to, certainly. I do typically prefer keeping canon-compliant if I can (unless it’s like an au or something we’re talking about), or true to life in general, so I’ll certainly be checking facts and stuff and trying not to get anything wrong. Plus, just refreshing myself on the tone or speaking patterns of a character feels like research, too.

And of course there’s been those times when I’ve been trying to find out when Japan got flip phones or other things like that. I'm totally that writer who goes down a research rabbit holes for like one or two lines of fic.

💡How many WIPs do you currently have?

Uhh… Depends? WIPs I’ve actually put some words in? Two that I’m actively aware of, probably others buried somewhere in the depths of my files. WIPs that I have ideas for… Well, on my list there’s six more or less vague concepts that might or might not become something.

I’m not really one to bounce between wips, so it’s pretty much one main wip at a time for me, rotating in the brain until it gets cooked (or left waylaid).

I suppose it helps that I kind of had a break from writing before Fixation happened so I don't have much of an idea backlog, so to speak.

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

Where do I even start… I mean, with the recent fics, pining sure is high on the list. Just, all the fluffy parts of a (pre-)relationship. For more specific tropes (like only one bed or fake dating or whatever), I don’t think I have strong preferences. Whatever works for the particular story, really.

For my smut I’ve been told I tend to play around with power dynamics a lot and yeah I can’t disagree with that.

(ask game here for anyone else curious)