#Which tbf is important in my line of work

[bonefall]

where’s that little horror piece about kits never growing up in Starclan? because I remember it so vividly but I can’t find it.

The one about Bright Stream?

Weird that it's so hard to find! It's probably because it's got such heavy tags lmao.

I really mean it though like, canon's permakitten system and the idea that Bright Stream is up there, forever taking care of fetus children who were filled by sudden knowledge and yet never grow past that point absolutely horrifies me. Jesus Christ. I don't know how anyone reads that final scene in Path of Stars and isn't filled with itching, white-hot existential dread, man.

Sometimes you just gotta write horror about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

hang on are cougars like panthers

[gender-euphowrya]

the way i'm finding so many areas and quests that i completely missed on my first playthrough has me wondering if i even had my eyes fucking opened

[manonamora-if]

May Check-In

Hi. It's been.... almost a year since I did one of those. And until Harcourt, I hadn't posted here since October. During that time, things... happened in my personal life. I'm not going to get into it* here, but it affected greatly my ability to create and interact with IF in general. I'm getting back on the tracks, slowly returning to my original routines and circles. *maybe through more cathartic writing? after more settling.

Let's get into the longer things:

Recap of last month's progress what I've been up to since July

The 2024 To-Do List

Plan for this month

Some general lines for the rest of 2025

TLDR on the important things because it's really long: Harcourt was my announcement of some return to normalcy. I'm in the process of moving. There's going to be an announcement later this month. It's good to be back. Here's to a healthier rest of the year!

What I've been up to since July?

Some posted here, some missed (I should make some separate posts). Instead of comparing posts, I'm just recap'ing it all.

The 100% Good Assets

I created a Harlowe guide for Saves and Settings, updated the huge SugarCube Guide to match the 2.37 release, generalized the Tweego Folder for Mac users and other Twine formats, expanded the ChoiceScript to SugarCube Guide, made a Harlowe template to resemble Chapbook, updated all the SugarCube templates to 2.37, ported Cloak of Darkness to Adventuron, started Chapbook templates (Save System out, Config.style still a WIP), and finally, made a Chapbook Reference Page for convenience*. *the Guide is already chef-kiss, but the Ref Page is easier CTRL+F'ing stuff

Releases

I participated in a secret jam from the Sacred Veins collective with Svipul (an excuse to create in Twine 1/SugarCane). The theme was Righteous. This is not a happy story.

And as a final hoera in 2024, Dénantir for the Partim500. It's a mini French parser made in Donjon.FI (which had been on my to-try-list for at least two years). Some more sadness and reminiscing.

As you can see, there was a mood...

Updates

Aside from the assets listed above, obviously, the major one: the final story update of The Trials and Tribulations of Edward Harcourt. Released 6 months later than announced, but out nonetheless. Granted, the game was 90% done last October, but I dragged my feet (when IRL wasn't in the way to begin with) to deal some major coding issues that messed a lot of things.

Neo-Interactives and other Events

After the major success Neo-Twiny Jam, where we raised more money than last time (help us repeat it?), there was the Single Choice Jam, Bring Out Your Ghosts, Anti-Productivity Jam, The Bare-Bones Jam, (from here, I was less involved) Educational Jam, ShuffleComp 2024, Smoochie Jam, and the recently ended Dialogue Jam. A lot of participation overall with pretty neat entries! After a very busy, but very exciting, first full calendar year of events, we've decided to scale it back a little*. In 2025, at least, only the month-long jams will be held. *I have a huge backlog of stuff to play now... and NTJ25 is coming soon...

In other events I've helped, there was the IFCOMP for which I did Socials and Moderation, and the SeedComp! that kinda fizzled out at the end (tbf being completely MIA didn't help).

And finally, the Interactive Fiction Showcase 2024 which had so many entries. Which reminds me, I didn't announce the 2025 Showcase yet, which I should do sooner rather than later.

I did play some games, and reviewed a bunch last winter, but that fell off as well earlier this year.

Awards and other cool things that happened

I interviewed Chandler Groover for @the-rosebush-mag, following his win at the 2024 IFComp. This was such an honour to sit down with him and talk about his journey through IF.

I PROMISE I AM WORKING ON THE GAME and machina caerulea was included in the 56 edition of Indiepocalypse! A double feature~ And included with some really cool other people too!

I PROMISE I AM WORKING ON THE GAME was in a 1st-place tie for Best Use of Interactivity at the IF Short Game Showcase.

Les lettres du Docteur Jeangille won Outstanding French Game of 2024 at the IFDB Awards!! And a bunch of nominations for most of my 2024 games (though none came as close). Really proud of this. Twice in a row too! Won't happen this year, because no French Comp for me.

And David Welbourn included Not Another Sad Meal in his monthly parser walkthrough (January 2025). It's kind of wild. I've been using his amazing walkthroughs when playing many old-school parsers. And now I'm in the list! That reminds me, I need to fix some things.

~ And I think that's it? I've missed some pretty eventful periods, so a lot of stuff fell through the cracks.

It does look like I've done a lot, even during my quiet times, but it's really been more in spurs. Short periods of extreme activity and long ones of nothing (half of the summer, the whole of November, most of December, most of January, and from February until mid-April). In other words, when I had some quiet time to actually do something and when shit really hit the fan. It's been hard to balance, but I think I'm regaining my footing. April's been somewhat of a blessing in disguise.

~

The 2024 To-Do List

... has not really been followed. I haven't fixed the bugs on any of my older projects, or finished any of my WIPs (well, Harcourt, but 6 months too late). Instead, the first half was filled with unplanned game releases. On the bright side, I've fulfilled my wish of testing out new programs, or getting better at them. Well, and with Harcourt now out, I guess one thing got crossed out.

On the other hand, I haven't reviewed/played as much as I had hoped*. Even updated my website is completely out of date. Also dropped the ball on all the social media stuff. Very lacklustre year. *esp. the Neo-Interactives entries. It was important to me that every entry got some comments, to ensure everyone knew people looked at their work.

So hum... yeah. ⭐for "participating", lol.

~

The PLANtm for May

Not so much of a plan, more of what to expect this month, which... won't be much. Because the thing is: I'm moving at the end of the month. So between packing, selling, cancelling stuff here, and unpacking, opening, and probably buying things there, my IRL To-Do is arm-length at this point. It's both super stressful and a huge relief. I picked such a good time to come back, lol.

But I hope to have time to do some things. If not in updates/engaging, at least in planning for the rest of the year.

Harcourt: while the story is finished, there are still some kinks in the code/interface that can be handled better. As mentioned in the the update post, it's currently an Open Beta. There are a couple of things I'd like to add in-game. Nothing major. I don't expect the polished version to be out this month, but I'd like to make some progress on it, at minimum.

Secret Project: this will have a proper announcement later this month, but I'm currently planning a summer project for myself. It's both related to IRL and IF. Some good stuff I hope.

Really Bad IF Jam: is back by popular demands. The whole month of May, you can let out some steam by making terrible stuff. If I manage some free time, I might wing something?

Website Update: because it's a long time coming. Half a dozen games are missing, so does a bunch of new info. And it could do with a new interface.

Reconnect with the community. As a whole. I want to catch up on a lot of stuff I missed, and return notes that have been sitting in my inbox for too long.

I think if I can update the website and manage to tick off enough from planning of the secret project, I'll be pretty pleased with myself.

~

Some general lines for the rest of 2025

Normally, this is where I whip out my yearly to-do list of things I want done but probably not even manage to make a dent into it. You know the list from the start of the year, when I do my retrospective. Which hasn't happened this year either. So there's no list.

But for now, my main goal is to get back into a good healthy rhythm, where I can balance IRL stuff, IF responsibilities, and my own projects, without burn out looming or me being unable to do the things I enjoy doing. I think I'll need to make peace with my own capabilities, and stick to proper limits.

In terms of limits, the first has to be participating in events. It's not sustainable for me to try and make a game for all the IF events/game jams that catch my eye - even if I really want to or find them inspiring, and even if I can combine them. Almost all my projects have been created for or ended up submitted in a competition or jam; with ~90% of those being done on a whim/last minute. And because nothing I put out is a perfect bug-free experience, that means re-adding more to my plate with each submission. Because I still like those events very much, I need to be more realist with what I can do, and back out when things are not attainable. Like I have so far this past year. I had full planned or some form of ideas for the SingleChoice, Anti-Productivity, Educational Jam, ShuffleComp, the French Comp, the SpringThing and the Text-Adventure Jam, which all passed without a peep from me; as well as projects I've pushed for a later time for the ParserComp, IntroComp, IFComp (can't since helping organising), and EctoComp from last year. It's both been a disappointment (because I can't work on those ideas), and a relief (less stress to meet a too-short deadline!). So, for now, I'll most likely stick to just @neo-twiny-jam (for a good cause), and the Partim500. In huge part because it's only 500 words max. But also because they are the most fun experience I recall having, consistently. For any other jam, I'll restrict myself to long length (>= 1 month dev) only if I have actual time and a concrete plan (not just a vague idea/vibe - even if I want to test a new program). As for competitions, no submissions until I've finished at least one more WIP - and the entry is actually polished and tested properly (maybe I'll get better reviews now lol). That should leave me with more time to fix older projects, and complete current (and secret) WIPs. Actually actively removing stuff from my desk. For actual realsies now.

In terms of limits pt.2, IF responsibilities. I've been a part of a bunch communities, at different levels of organising, and with different amount of required efforts. Since getting more involved in the community, I've given more than 100% of myself to everything I've said yes to. It was working great for me... until I realised how much piled up. It was already too much last year, and I knew it - I couldn't keep up with most things then. Which is why I said my goodbyes to the great @interact-if last summer, and left a bunch of other discords/spaces. As mentioned above, Neo-Interactives is scaling back as well in terms of events. I had the foresight of preparing a bunch of stuff in advance (this is why @neointeractives has had scheduled posts with reminders). It's been less hectic and stressful, since not having something looming and having to untangle every 2-3 weeks. Gotta give major props to @lapinlunaire-games and @cyberpunklesbian for all their work too (esp during my breaks), they've been real rocks! As for other events, I can be pretty laissez-faire with random unranked events (like the Showcase or Really Bad IF), like posting it and let it be. But comps (and anything with more than one clear rule) require a minimum of admin and promotion*. Time and energy I need to see if I can spend (especially if I delegate) and reevaluate. *seriously... it's more work than you think it is, because it's very concentrated on specific days. It's exhausting. Rewarding too! but exhausting. That would give me a a more balanced planning at least. More time for updating stuff (the reason why yall are following me) :)

A potential path for myself in the soon future (brought to me by moving) is maybe being able to start a Ko-Fi or Support author button on itch. There's a bunch of legal mumbo-jumbo attached to that, but it's definitely something more attainable than it was while being here. It's something I'll be checking out this summer, and if possible, there will be an announcement (maybe even a new dev name?). Anyway, that's at least for late-2025-me to worry about. Also will need to find a new job first...

In any case, a slower, calmer, healthier "normal" on the horizon. And a new website! 🤞

[fima11]

Can I ask about artists that inspire you? I don't know if you've answered this before, but you once mentioned surrounding yourself with artists you'd like to emulate. Do you have any online? Love your stuff btw!

Hello! Yes, I have active artists who inspire me. As I wrote in the post you mentioned, it's important for me to have an artist to learn from. So here are few whose posts I never skip! (it's gonna be long ughh)

Kamome Shirahama (author of "Witch Hat Atelier" manga) (@ shirahamakamome on twitter)

Kamome Shirahama is incredibly talented, and I admire the way she always manages to give her figures visual weight through the fabric movements. To me her art is a perfect balance of realism and stylization, and that's just what I want to pursue in my own art. I think I need to admit I always look at her illustration to find the way to give my characters fluidity of movements and ease of shape.

Ryoko Kui (author of "Dungeon Meshi")

I don't really know if she has an account, but to me her art is a way to learn shapes better.

I am a very big fan of "less is more" concept, so when I see artist being able to put their characters to life within simple lines and soft shapes, I am automatically interested.

I know Ryoko Kui's, as much as Kamome Shirahama's art, is far from simple - it's perfectly balanced in terms of realism and style, her characters feel volumetric and grounded, that's why I like to study her art, trying to break it down piece by piece.

But let me share my favorite artists who are not mangakas, whose works I never skip!

ELIOLI / @/ elioli-art (Elena and Olivia Ceballos)

(Especially their 2021 art, which fascinates me till this day)

Variety of their art is wide, but I like to learn the most from their scenes and landscapes. Check their account (they also have a twitter account as far as I know)!

And also these arists!! Their illustrations and skills really inspire me: everything from colors to structure of their scenes.

Tbf I have endless amount of artists who I am willing to learn from, but I have adhd and can't even remember who I follow!!

Don't forget that you should look at every artist with desire to understand their work, if you are an artist too. Maybe I just want to complicate things, but every piece of art to me is an opportunity to learn and try out something new. But it's really important to find something you are comfortable with!

Sorry for yapping so much though. <3

[hello-is-anyone-there]

Vague Guide to Gothic Academia

Lebanon Hanover (totally not because they're my favorite to write to nooo)

Franz Gordon has some really beautiful piano pieces I highly recommend if you want more classical goth music

Danse Macabre

Hannibal Lector (NBC included)

Criminology

Law in general actually

Religious studies

Come on guys the catholic aesthetics are pulling through here

Victorian collars

Leather gloves

Menthols (this one is just a personal preference, don't smoke)

As much as I hate to say it, Schopenhauer and Roubiczek

I really dislike dark philosophy but it just lines up so well >:[

Moving on to something I like far more: Taxidermy

I'm thinking mostly bones or wet specimens

Normal taxidermy works too but I think it'd clash with dorm space

Leather, silk, and velvet are good staple textures in my opinion

Which does make this harder to style in the summer but tbf dark linens have such a nice flow

The moon, obviously

Astrophysics in general. The stars and the vast existentialism of space are such a good niche. Also I don't see as much STEM majors in these things as I'd like

I'm an arts man for sure, fucked up over literature and philosophy sure, but SCIENCE BRO

That shit is so dark especially going into death studies or psychology

Honestly being a doctor in general can fuck you up

Always smelling like a cadaver (perfume or otherwise...)

Long coats, heavy boots, ties, chains, trad and victorian goth gear both work here

I do like to lean more into dark academia visually with gothic academia, just because my wardrobe would have too much of the same shit going on

Dark sweaters, waist coats and corsets, well fitting suit pants, a well structured light colored blouse usually help balance out

Gothic academia in my opinion is balance between structure and loose chaos

Makeup can also be important for a look so I suggest, strong sharp contor, white accents and dark liner. A red/maroon lip is a good choice for dark makeup in general.

I got distracted by the visual elements woops

A lot of the staple dark academia books work really well

A good murder plot always helps

The Divine Comedies - Dante

The Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux

Carmilla - Sheridan Le Fanu

NIGHT CLASSES!!!

I can't believe I forgot that one

Getting drunk on Absinthe and red wine like a damn vampire

[hischierlovebot]

11, 12 and 17 for the fic writer asks <3

Hello my friend <333

fic writer asks

11. a WIP you’d like to finish someday

Oh there are so many. Right now, that's fake hanahaki, although that one should be getting finished soonish, because I'm 30k deep already and we will come out victorious. other fics that have been on the backburner for a while now are the auswilly fake dating, and the werewolves with no werewolves fic, which has been haunting me for around 2 years? And I hope I can get to those this year!

12. a trope you’re really into right now

Well I recently finished my leverage rewatch so I'm very into heists and cons but tbf most of my free time (dead hours at work) is spent fighting fake hanahaki so there hasn't been that much reading from me! I am, however, itching for the kind of fic that you finish and leaves you feeling hollow because of how good it was so if you have any recs, I'll take them <33

17. talk about your writing and editing process

Man this will be very long and also maybe a bit confusing. I'll post under the cut.

The most important part to understand about my process is that there's no editing. There is a final revision, where I go over the text to polish it and catch stray typos, but I don't really write in drafts: what you get posted to ao3 is what the fic has looked like, most of the time.

So, my process goes a little like this: I get an idea, I write down the scene that comes to mind (most of the times with the longer fics, we're not talking about a fleshed out idea, just a scene that I build the rest of the story around. In soulmates, for example, my goal was to tackle my issues with the concept as a whole, and in fake hanahaki, there's a scene that encapsulates this very well, but that I still can't share for obvious reasons), and then the rest of the story is built around it.

If it's a long fic, or a more complex one, say soulmates or hanahaki, to name hrpf examples, then I need to figure out the plot before I write it. It's something that only really happens with these fics because I can't write if I'm not satisfied with what I've written before.

I think of it as building blocks. I need to have a solid foundation to build on, because if it's wobbly, then I keep worrying it's going to bring down the rest of the structure, and there's nothing I hate more than spending hours on a thing, only for it to be absolutely pointless. Sometimes I get stuck with the base and I can't continue until i figure it out, but I can focus on other stuff, that helps me see the whole picture a little clearer. It's why I tend to write out of order, and, afterwards, I take all the pieces and line them up until they make sense. Currently, fake hanahaki is 60 pages long, and there's only like 45% in order. The rest are disconnected scenes that would probably confuse the fuck out of a reader, and that I have to line up to figure out what's still missing.

Once that's done, then the fic is pretty much done. Because I can't write if I'm not satisfied with the build up of a scene, I've gone over them a bunch of times, so there's no need for further rewrites. They were done as the scene was written. What it needs is a final revision to catch any typos, and then it's ready to go out.

If you're wondering, yes, this means that I rarely if at all use beta readers, also because I worry about annoying them with how much I write and switch wips and fandoms lol there are no deleted scenes either because if they weren't going to make it then they never got written and if they were on the page then I just have to figure out where they go. Is this method of mine the most efficient? Probably not, but it's what works with me and I don't think my works turn out that bad so I'm going to stick with it.

And I think that was it lol sorry for how lengthy this was, and let me know if there's anything that wasn't clear!

[kaija-rayne-author]

I guess the discourse today is about Astarion being the favourite poster boy of the devs to the detriment of the other characters.

Yes. That's unequivocally true. Wyll having so little compared to Astarion is also an example of racism.

It's also capitalism. Larian can't make more games unless BG3 does well. So far it has, so in their choice of poster boy they chose correctly.

Every business, especially entertainment ones, follows a similar model. Develop stories or games that the previous game helped fund. It's common in book publishing too.

(Which, tbf, is my realm of knowledge, but the business facts are the same.)

What you, if you're indie, or the publisher, if not, chooses to spend time on is the thing/character/aspect/story that will sell the most copies so they can stay in business.

They bet on Astarion being popular because:

1. Vampire, vampire stories don't seem to get old. People want more.

2. White hair, if you're at all into gaming or anime, you should recognize the white-haired anime boy coding Astarion has.

3. He's pretty. In games & books like these, people want to get turned on or be sucked into emotions, that's rather the point. So, of course, they made him pretty and gave him an angsty backstory about it. Have you noticed that his vampire fangs are the more traditional style and the rest have funky (and likely more efficient) chompers with the fangs on the front teeth?

4. Twink, you'd have to be really not paying attention to not notice that one. They tend to be attractive to the largest section of players.

6. Slow burn, a lot of people prefer slow burn romance.

7. Classically handsome. You could turn him into a statue (and can!) and he wouldn't look out of place.

I don't experience this type of point form character building, my characters tend to march fully formed into my head and demand I write them.

But Astarion was built as a fictional character that would (hopefully) capture a broad cross-section of players and give the game some more sex appeal.

Sex sells.

I'd lay money I don't have on every aspect of Astarion's character having been a deliberate choice to encourage sales.

And that's fine. That's what capitalism does. Don't like it? Start voting for social support programs and things like ubi so that people can create without worrying about the bills.

Is it fair to the other characters and to the gamers who love other characters more than Astarion? Absolutely not. I do hope Larian gets the message and produces more content to make them all equivocal.

Especially for Wyll, they did him so dirty.

Is Wyll having the least lines and scenes racist? Yup.

Larian, despite their faults, produced something that so few games companies have done recently. A single purchase, single player RPG without micro-transactions that was an excellent game straight from release.

Other games companies are bitching about that because it's like sand in the oyster of their business models.

Which, for a while now, has been to roll out a game that wasn't ready yet and use the players as unpaid, uncompensated labour to find bugs etc. As a gamer, I've really hated that.

Did Larian fuck up? Uh, yeah. On several issues. But they also made an amazing game that was awesome from release.

It would be a shame to lose sight of that.

It's important to call out the shite when we see it, but the current 'it has to be perfect for me, or I won't play' attitude rampant on the 'net these days is disturbing to say the least.

I've read Larian has a feedback thing on fridays. If this really bothers you, hustle on over and participate in the feedback session.

They're still actively working on the game. They can still make changes and they seem reasonably responsive to fan feedback.

But just remember... the reason Astarion is the poster boy with the most content is because of capitalism. It was likely a cold, business focused decision vs anything else.

Which doesn't make it better. I just figured inserting a bit of entertainment business knowledge might be helpful to the discussion.

[blasphemy-no-repentance]

AO3 wrapped!

How many words have you written this year? 132,943

How many works did you publish this year? - Twelve!

What work are you most proud of? - I’m pretty proud of my ElevenRose fic the girl who didn’t have to wait! It’s a silly AU I never expected anyone to care about but yeah!

What work of yours has the most hits? - A Harry Potter one I’d rather not talk about. I’ve moved on!

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? - As I said already, I really wasn’t expecting the girl who didn’t have to wait to pop off, but I’m super proud of it!

Favorite title you used - The Second Monopoly Incident made me laugh when I thought of it

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? - I don't use song lyrics, but I listened to so much Kesha while writing lmao

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? - TIMEPETALS MY BELOVED

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? - I ONLY WROTE TWO BUT TIMEPETALS TOPS

What work was the quickest to write? - It was never meant to happen was a drabble so that one

What work took you the longest to write? - NESTING TOOK ME FOR FOOKIN EVER ONLY TO GET SEVEN KUDOS (Tbf the ship isn’t even a tag soooo)

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? - 0-0 too many

What’s your longest work of the year? - The girl who didn’t have to wait at somewhere around 60k!

What’s your shortest work of the year? - It was never meant to happen

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? - GIRL WHO DIDN’T HAVE TO WAIT BABYYYYYY

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? - Bisexual Rose Tyler, not because it’s important to the fic, but because it’s important to me

Your favorite character to write this year? - LITTLE AMY POND she’s practically a self insert for little me so yeah

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? - Reinette is driving me batty currently

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? - Timepetals. They’re my vibe rn

Which work of yours have you reread the most? - The girl who didn’t have to wait gets reread regularly because of continuity

How many kudos in total did you get this year? - 1,099!

Which work has the most comments? - The girl who didn’t have to waits comments outweigh kudos

Did you do any collaborative works this year? - nooooo I’m bad at those

Did you write any gifts this year? - Yes!! One for Bobcatblah who was having an awful day, and one for Caedmon to entice her back to the fandom like its a trail of cookies make her feel better too!

Did you receive any gifts this year? - No lol, I’m always the gifter cause im good at it

What’s your most common category? - Hmmm het this year I think, but can Rose/Doctor really be counted as het when the Doc is genderqueer?

What do you listen to while writing? - KESHA and silence.

Favorite work you wrote this year? - The girl who didn’t have to wait will always take out that title

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? - “Amy, wait up love!” Rose called as the excitable nine year old bounded away from the TARDIS. Unfortunately as children’s ears are purely ornamental, Amy ignored Rose and continued her galloping pace right up to Jackies flat. Rose sighed, but had been expecting nothing less, and so increased her own speed to a jog.

Biggest surprise while writing this year? - Hmm probably just how much I actually enjoy writing!

[sleepymccoy]

Alright, I have been thinking about spaceships!!

Basic premise, we don't have light speed tech so it's all within the solar system. Moons and some planets are terraformed, there are space stations, so on. I haven't designed anything with fake gravity, so the ships would need to handle gravity and zero grav in space. That's mostly fixtures though, the structure is fairly unchanged I reckon, cos it does all still need to work in gravity. Because of that, the engines are taking up a bit of space. And i've tried to leave some dead space in the ship cos i'm sure i'll come up with more scientific necessities, like I'm already thinking about constantly having to create fuel to burn to leave orbit.

Other thing, this ship has to work in three ways. One, space flight/leaving orbit stuff. Two, can park on solid ground and has a functional trade door. Three, has some way of fishing while hovering over the open ocean. That's why every ship has a "fishing" zone for the fishing part of things. They're all at the bottom of the ship, obvs.

Also, you'll probably get this from my writing the pros and cons, but this is for a romance that just happens to be set in space lol

First of all, the UFO

Basic UFO design premise. One big wide disc, on one level.

Pros: I can fuck around with the design on the one level pretty freely, and don't need to commit to shit For example, storage and rooms should def swap cos rooms can have windows then. This can have whole areas the pov character doesn't go to very easily. Open plan means secrets and privacy are harder to have, encourages drama.

Cons: The design doesn't make sense against like air drag and leaving orbit. It' so not aerodynamic. Maybe it takes off at a 90 degree angle, so like every room has a take off chair fitted to the wall cos it's gonna flip to its side. Okay, that's kinda fun, this shouldn't be in the con line anymore but whatever. It's a good example that all cons can be overcome x

Second, let's look at the Slice

Pros: Small and intimate. There's less rooms so everyones sharing a room with another shift, which gives everyone a unique friendship with one person on another shift schedule. Can't hang out in your room, so gotta see other people, encourage interaction. Tbf, I can make that happen in the other designs if I decide it's too cool to skip

Cons: also not aerodynamic. Very good in space or staying in gravity. Maybe it has another way it sorta collapses in to leave orbit, like the angle bit on the hangy downy slides up to be more like an arrow head. Yeah alright, there' another con that's become a cool pro. Actual con! Not having your own room lessens how easy it is to have sex. Although i guess the shifts undo that, cos you wouldn't want to risk waking the person who's got the room rn. Could be a fun pro as secret sex is much harder to do. Ugh

The Ball

Pros: Hysterical. Quite a bit of space. Confusing layout gives you nooks and crannies to bump into someone in a sexual tension way. Aerodynamic enough i guess? Fucking wild looking, it's just a big ol ball. I could redesign this a bit to be like a luxury yacht that's been refitted to be a fishing boat, which'd add some fun world building stuff. And some crazy down time options

Cons: This feels the most disjointed to me really. And it would be so damned hard to build. Oh, the multi level idea, which i kinda forget when drawing, is that 1B would be accessible through floor holes in the 2C corridors. They probably dont line up cos I forgot about it. Actually, they kinda nearly do. Cool.

Here's a poll so you can choose lol. I'll do another poll in reblogs with some of the features so you can suggest what you think is the most important feature, if you really want to have a say! I love feedback and brainstorming, so please, bring your heart <3

[jensownzoo]

MOAR beets!

Omnomnomnomnom. Gonna grate these ones up for the freezer to add to homemade veggie burgers and veggie meatloaf and veggie lasagna. The no-thinning method of growing beets continues to work out for me.

Will be working on getting the seeds out of this bok choy over the next few days. I actually have double this amount to do but I'm waiting until evening to harvest those plants (seed heads for me, plants for the chickens' dinner).

I've also started on this:

Lettuce seed is such a pain to clean that it's slow going.

But I did notice a shield-type assassin-type bug on the plants a few days ago and now there's noticeably fewer aphids, so yay ecology! With that happening, I'm considering going through my seed to see if I have any varieties that are at all heat-tolerant if I start them inside. I've got space opening up in the shady earthbox where the bok choy was and some lettuce would be nice...

Bush beans are flowering! Patting myself on the back for picking two varieties that have different colored flowers so I can tell what I sowed where. They're tucked in here and there instead of being in discreet, label-able beds, plus one is harvested small (French filet) and one full size so distinguishing them is kinda important. The pole beans still have a long way to grow before blossoming yet.

This is kinda disappointing though. The African marigold flowers look pretty pathetic. It's from saved seed so either the original doesn't breed true or I had contamination. We'll see if any of the flowers look nice enough to save seed from this year, otherwise I'll just plan on buying or trading for new stock and toss the old in an abandoned lot or something.

However the candytuft I grew from saved seed is finally blooming and looks great! It's supposed to be perennial but none of the plants I had last year survived the winter. Which, tbf, was really weird weather-wise. But I gathered plenty of seed and have plenty leftover so I can just let this year's seeds drop.

Otherwise the garden tasks today were tying up all the tomatoes in the windstorm that decided to happen instead of rain. (Which was fine because my laundry dried on the line in less than an hour, so bonus). Lots of cherry tomatoes in development plus a few Cherokee Purples. Probably no harvest until next month though.

[gabiwritesboox]

Fanfic breakdown!

I'm getting kinda tired of only reblogging things here lol and I also have A Lot Of Thoughts™️ to share about my works sooooo if no one reads this I guess I'll just have to suck it up. Anyways here's my breakdown of the first chapter of my High School AU <33

More under the cut!

First of all, this entire fanfic idea started after that Chaos Twins (Acheron's and Aventurine's EN VAs) live stream last year where they tier listed hsr characters in a group assignment. The reason why the first chapter is from Ratio's pov is because I, as the no. 1 Ratio kinnie, thought they severely mischaracterised him and had to fix that (even though almost none of the group assignmenting made it into the actual fanfiction lol). Anyway that stream got me thinking so much, I now have almost 4h of voice notes material about the high school versions of these characters haha

I will also add that by that time I did NOT start Penacony yet (it was like May lmao) so as much as I loved these characters and tried to portray them accurately, I had not technically met them in game yet.

That being said: the main focus of the first chapter is Ratio and Aventurine's relationship and I was positively terrified with how accurate they came out when I actually got to their interactions in the quest XD The chapter took me about 6 months to write and I obviously finished Penacony by then, but when I tell you I didn't rewrite anything in their dialogues just because I saw more of them. And some quotes still sound exactly like what they said, just a tad different vocabulary. That's like. Crazy wow.

Moving on to the actual writing. My goal was actually to keep as close as possible to the way Hoyo writes these characters, when it comes to their personalities, themes, relationships etc. Because of that, I did set on keeping Ratio and Aventurine's relationship platonic in this universe, despite all of my friends readers telling me they should kiss or something, which might come off a bit as queerbaiting, but I promise, there are stronger hints that they're both queer men down the line, just not necessarily in a romantic relationship with each other (which, ironically, makes it all the more similar to Hoyo's portrayal of them imo).

Even though I am personally in love with this ship (which you can see in the posts I reblog), I don't see it as a negative thing to explore solely the platonic part of their relationship. I believe it's great as long as they have each other's backs, but what can I say, I wrote that-

Other than that, I'm a person who loves throwing little easter egg references into my works and the first chapter doesn't yet have a lot of it, but oh boy, the rest of what's coming XD here's a little list of what was said and what I was consciously referring to:

Kakavasha paying someone to do his school work for him is obviously inspired by what Allegra and Camden said about Aventurine in the aforementioned stream lol

“What is it, Ratio?” Kakavasha sighed - I'm pretty convinced it was a reference to the exact same line Aventurine says in his first dialogue with Ratio in Penacony (but tbf don't trust my goldfish memory)

"Maybe I’m just a failure.” - this is one of my personal favourites, it's a reference to one quest description during All The Sad Tales in Cat Among Pigeons, specifically the first epithet Aventurine describes himself with (and it will be important for the future updates)

“Ratio, you wretch” - this one is really on the nose but I couldn't stop myself lol obviously, what Aventurine tells Ratio after the "betrayal"

“You seem distressed,” Veritas noticed. - a reference to one of Ratio's voice lines (Greeting) (look, I changed one word and thought I was smooth with it)

“I said some… insensitive things last time,” [Veritas] started. “I did not mean to hurt you." - ok ok, this one is not so much a direct reference, but what I had in mind was that moment from Ratio and Aventurine's first dialogue when Ratio "apologises" for calling out Aventurine's upbringing ("I did not mean to offend" or something along these lines). I wanted to expand that a little, showing that this is just how he is with apologies, even if he himself knows it sounds kinda stupid

Beside that, there's a crap ton of references to things from other media (mostly songs that just refused to leave my mind when I was writing, if you see some quotes from Epic The Musical, no you don't), most notably the "One does not simply" quote.

Although the theme of this chapter didn't occur to me immediately when I started writing, I think it's still kinda in-character that it reveals itself a little later into the story. This chapter focuses on Ratio's loneliness - he's too dumb for the geniuses, too smart for the mediocre and ultimately self-isolates as well (like how he thinks Acheron and Argenti are weird without noticing how weird he himself is to other people). It's also expressed in the way he calls everyone by their full government names even though many of them have some nicknames most others use. That's why I can't stress enough how important it is when he switches to calling Kakavasha 'Aventurine'. Like, it's just a very visual sign that they're getting closer, he respects Aventurine's boundaries and their relationship just becomes personal at this point.

(I would also love to point out that with time Aventurine starts calling Ratio 'Veritas' too, pookies are both opening up and shedding their walls, I can't)

I really hope Ratio's tsundere came across well too. With his dialogues I really tried to mimic the way he usually talks (smart words and structures, calling everyone an idiot) and then explore what he actually thinks in the narration bits (noticing how he might come off as awkward or rude, overthinking whether Aventurine and him are friends or not, because he really wants to but doesn't want to give himself false hope etc). Not just that, but even in his head he actively denies some things, not to look like he cares too much. He can't even be fully honest with himself and I love him for this.

But yeah, the entire point of this fic was that the teenage Veritas Ratio really wants to have friends but is in denial about this. That's the whole plot. Featuring a desire to help Aventurine cuz the little dude really needs it (but more about it in the future).

So, this is all I can think of at the moment. I doubt anyone will read this far lol but if you did, thank you, it means a lot. I will gladly answer any additional questions or just yap some more if I remember anything interesting.

See ya! <3

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Florrickology, Part 3: Wyll's Womancrush Wednesday

If Wyllyam Ravengard is gonna do one thing, it's gush about powerful ladies his dad works with big misty heart eyes and his goblet overflowing with Respect Women Juice. While it seems BabyWyll didn't hold a candle for Florrick like he did for Duke Stellmayne, he regards her as a knightly badass to aspire to, just like dear ol' dad.

Thus, when probed about her in Act 2, he delivers the following glowing endorsement... which is also implies some weird things about his (s)hero, when you really think about it.

Player: Can we trust Florrick? Wyll: I was eleven when the counsellor spotted and slayed an assassin who stalked father from the shadows. Wyll: I was thirteen when she brought word of a goblin warband advancing on Rivington. Her keen scouting saved a hundred lives that day. Wyll: The counsellor's loyalty to my father is beyond question. She's as steady as Tyr's heartbeat, as upstanding as the Sword Mountains.

These lines are a prime example of what exactly I meant by 'unintended characterization' in Florrickology Part 1. The point of this conversation is just to confirm that, yes, the player should trust and continue to cooperate with Florrick because her loyalty is well-proven. What Wyll literally says about her isn't important; it's the impression they leave you with that matters.

The writers possibly didn't really mean to imply anything extra with these lines.

But, they did.

What's more, is they seemingly managed to imply two consistent, if odd, things about her.

Wyll, what do you mean she 'spotted and slayed an assassin'?

Wyll, what do you mean 'her keen scouting'?

Both of these are pretty weird things to say about a woman otherwise presented as a urban public servant... but are they weird things to imply about Florrick? Let's dive in.

Side note: it's also funny yet perfectly in character that Wyll looks upon these subtly bonkers accomplishments with such high esteem, since he is also completely insane but manages to maintain a veneer of "the only reasonable person in the room"

In this universe, the threshold for killing people is admittedly pretty low, but the implication that Florrick kills people sounds sort of strange, especially the add-on that she just straight up and killed someone on the streets--no judge or jury, just executioner.

Florrick, a woman presented as a paragon of virtue, whom Wyll promptly then describes as 'upstanding as the Sword Mountains', kills people? And she is a wizard, so she kills people instead of casting any number of incapacitating spells like Sleep, Command, Hold Person, etc?

Yup-- if they're coming after Ulder Fucking Ravengard!

I will have many thoughts about the debacle that is her confrontation in Act 3 in another post, when she believes Wyll sold his father up the river for his freedom, slaps on a fuckass hood, and comes directly for his head, but at least it's consistent with something. She, like Wyll, looks upon Ulder as a hero and the soul of the city she loves and serves so faithfully, and so she, like Wyll, will scuttle all over creation to find him, take on any enemy to save him, and will treat any attempt on him is an attack that must be answered with impunity.

Moving on to the second line, whereas Wyll's other above is echoed in something else that comes up later, Florrick's alleged prowess as a scout is actually mentioned earlier, in Act 1... to a much less frustrating and much more amusing effect:

In Waukeen's Rest, Florrick states "the Duke has been taken westward, if my eyes and ears are to be believed."

By "my eyes and ears", one might assume she means informants... until you remember she's trapped alone and escapes with the player, so there's no way someone debriefed with her during the 15 seconds between busting down the door and this conversation.

So clearly, she was in the burning inn staring through a burning window , mad as fuck, at the drow dragging him away like

tbf "her eyes and ears" could also be people yelling what's going on from the ground while she's trapped upstairs but shhhh this is for fun

While this is again an odd thing to imply about an urban bureaucrat, this one actually makes a lot of sense... because she's a wood elf, a race famously good at scouting the wilderness.

This is slightly debatable because the game randomly doesn't list her subrace and she lacks the Fleet of Foot trait (implying she's a high elf), but I assume her dress is simply so tight and impractical that it nerfs her movement speed. On top of having a distinctive wood skin tone, she's filed under "wood elves" in the list of character models in game files, and if she dies in Waukeen's Rest, you can report finding a dead female wood elf to the Fist and they immediately know it's her. So it seems the intention was for her to be a wood elf, even if they didn't execute it fully.

So, what's strange isn't so much that she possesses this skill, but rather that she deploys it on such a notable basis.

So, unlike Wyll's first line which reinforces something we come to learn later, this line opens opportunities to wonder what we don't know about Florrick.

In the previous installment of Florrickology, I posited she was possibly around 120-130 years old, but Wyll's examples only account for what she was doing 13 and 11 years ago. Other commentary, such as by Ulder, indicates she's been a friend of the family and a public servant for quite some time, but how long? We could have up to 100 years of life to play with. She well could have been wildin' since before Ulder was even born.

Has she always lived in Baldur's Gate? Was she always a government official? Is she even a Flaming Fist (I don't think so tbh, I think she's just understood to be Ulder's stand-in) or was she and if she was, what kind of shit did she get up to? When and how did she meet Ulder? Was she always a wizard (she is only level 6 in Act 1...)? And endless more questions!

The implication seems to be that she's been an advisor as long as Ravengard has been duke, so like... what was she doing out there at all, 11 years ago, discovering goblins far enough away from Rivington that she could intervene and save the whole town? Hiking? Keeping up with her secret ranger multiclass levels? Picking up a patrol shift to stunt on all the humans by having 4 extra hours in the day to spend in service of the city? Visiting her wood elf polycule in the woods and happened across goblin tracks?

For the discerning background character fan, this is a goldmine.

Speaking of headcanons and Wyll, I have also decided that one of his best and funniest ambient dialogues references Florrick, even though it's completely unsubstantiated:

Wyll: When I was a child, father sent me to Sharess' Caress to deliver messages. How was I to know what went on behind its closed doors? Lae'zel: Eating, sleeping, and sex acts of all manner, of course. Wyll: Hm. What's plain to you wasn't so plain to mini-Wyll. Lae'zel: Mini-Lae'zel wasn't so sheltered. On Creche K'liir, very little is hidden behind doors.

We all know Ulder only has one person he'd need to talk to so damn bad that he'd send his son to bother her at the damn brothel!!!

[exeggcute]

hello! you seem to know a lot about skincare stuff, so i'm curious what products you use for general daily use? i also have adult acne and it's very annoying. i would also appreciate any lip moisturizing ideas if you have any. thank you, and hope your day's going well!

oh yes! although fair warning that I am not a skincare expert at all (I don't even understand half the lingo that people use when they talk about products lol) so take any of my recommendations with a grain of salt...

other than sunscreen, literally all of the stuff I use is either from paula's choice, the ordinary, or good old cerave. I don't even bother trying other brands at this point because I assume they'll just be overpriced junk—plus, you can get almost all cerave products and a good chunk of the ordinary's products at, like, target. I'd also note that you don't need to (and really should not) go out and buy a million things at once; I have a pretty good arsenal at this point but it took me a couple years to build it up by trying one or two new products at a time and seeing what I like.

both paula's choice and the ordinary have "shop by concern" sections on their websites, so if you want actual targeted advice about what to try then I would definitely defer to them lol. but for some specific examples of what I like:

diehard fan of cerave face soaps. they have a foaming pump and a non-foaming pump, depending on whether your skin is more oily or more dry. I mostly use the latter, but since noelle uses the former I'll occasionally steal a pump of the foamy one if I'm having an oily streak lol.

likewise with cerave moisturizer, specifically for your body, but also works great on your face as a final skincare step. will not make you break out. however (important info incoming!!!) the pump lotion is far inferior to the giant tub of lotion—the pump stuff is just kind of watery and sad in comparison. get the tub. you deserve it.

the ordinary hyaluronic acid 2% serum is another "help I have dry skin but also acne" lifesaver. you can apply it directly to (damp!!!) skin or (wet!!!) hair or put a couple drops in your lotion for extra-moisturizing lotion. but it works by drawing outside moisture into your skin/hair, so make sure you're not applying it to dry skin/hair or it can backfire and actually dry you out.

paula's choice enriched calming toner = dry skin savior.

for acne specifically, paula's choice pore-reducing toner fucking rules. it's not harsh at all so you can use it as much as you want. pairs well with paula's 5% AHA exfoliant (which only use when I'm really flaky, since it is a little harsh, but you can temper it by applying lotion right after).

the ordinary azelaic acid 10% suspension is a little tingly, so I only use it when I'm actively breaking out (which tbf is often lol), but it's a great at starving out pimples.

from the paula's choice CLEAR line, I looooove the purifying clay mask. I use this one a couple times a week as needed, usually right after I get out of the shower, and then I'll wash it off and do the rest of my face potions as usual. even if my skin is pretty clear I just like how tight and clean everything feels after. I also recently tried the CLEAR 5% benzoyl peroxide daily skin clearing treatment (only because I got it as a free gift... otherwise I would Not have tried a benzoyl peroxide product lmao. bad memories of childhood acne treatment snake oil shit.) and was surprised how much I liked it, although I've been applying it verrry sparingly. the bottle recommends applying it (1) to your entire face and (2) EVERY DAY, but I've had luck using it as a sporadic spot treatment. pairs well with the enriched calming toner.

I've also been using this prescription tretinoin cream off and on for the past year (from the dubious skincare-as-a-service online pharmacy "forhers" lol) and it's Good but not a miracle. my skin is already pretty sensitive so I try not to use it that often, but it would probably work a lot better if it did. also makes you photosensitive as hell so watch out (sunscreen is a must).

specifically for lip moisturizer, nothing beats plain old burt's bees lip balm imo but if you need something heavy-duty I do like the paula's choice lip and body treatment balm. it's a little greasy but has great staying power and the tub lasts forever!

also important to note. you should always do stuff in this order: wash your face (duh) > toner > other stuff > lotion/moisturizer. I know you're supposed to do the "other stuff" in a specific order if you're stacking multiple products but tbh I just kind of wing it lol.

[bonesandthebees]

PHIL’S POV!!!

I’m gonna cry. The carriage story. How fast his brain works. The stone cold worry for his son’s safety. The threats! His son will be found and the person who did this will pay. Oh and this line single handle destroyed me: [But now, for the first time in his whole life, Wilbur was too far for Phil to reach.] He loves the boy so much, Bee. I can’t handle this amount of love. These are just words on a page. Yet I can feel all the grief and love and worry and anger and sorrow. (Not the mention the constant tension I felt knowing what he was about to be told, just waiting for the anvil to drop).

Also, Wilbur being unable to sleep on carriages is much more of an important plot point than I expected it to be. He falls asleep faster/easier than Tomys because he couldn’t rest on the way there. He must be so tired even his panic can’t keep him awake. (Tbf, the panic attack would probably seep energy too). And then we know both Niki and Phil know him well enough to know he can’t sleep on a moving vehicle. And there’s already so much love stored in Phil deciding to let Wilbur rest first because his son truly is the most important thing to him.

[and Wilbur would jerk his head up with a sharp gasp. For a moment, his eyes would be filled with fear. Then, he would see Phil sitting above him, and all the tension and terror in his small shoulders would drain away as he laid his head back down.] given everything else, I think stabbing me might have hurt less than reading this.

We also know how Niki and Phil know this, which is when they visited Summerdam. And I am, so soft. Phil not sleeping but keeping an eye on his kid and then his kid can’t sleep because things keep waking him up and he gets so upset that his little boy can’t sleep (also the self-control he had then is getting thrown into the wind when his child is in actual danger).

Side note: this is your usual technique of hitting us with the fluff to make the angst hit that much harder. I can’t cope with the fact that Phil forgets to breathe. And he’s so protective, but the one time he lets his son out of his sight / sends him away on his own, something happens to him.

Lastly (because there’s so much in this single section, not to mention everything else, I can’t possible get it all yet, I am still skipping over So Many Things) Phil’s brain works so damn fast. He subconsciously knows the second the turns around and sees Sneeg (though hearing him already kinda sets off the alarms). And then everything else quickly falls into place. He knows something happened to his son and he knows it was foul play and whoever responsible better pray that Wilbur returns alive because there will be no mercy (there will be no mercy at him returning with a broken leg either).

P.s. poor Sneeg who knows this man and who much he loves his son so well (because of now confirmed constant surveillance of said beloved child) and has to be the one to tell him his son might be dead.

-🌲

HE LOVES HIS SON SO MUCH!!! I literally added that carriage story to show everyone how much phil loves that boy. he's not the best at showing it but the love is there. and I wanted to show that while phil does like getting his answers fast and prioritizes information, he would rather let wilbur rest and catch up on his sleep before asking him what happened at L'mannes. he's doing all of this for wilbur, so his wellbeing comes first and foremost

love that you felt like you were stabbed. that's how I felt writing it. I did this to myself but oh my goddddd

he just wanted wilbur to sleep on the carriage ride but he just couldn't relax and he'd be so scared when he was startled awake until he saw his dad and he was so little spruce he was only ten years old and phil just wanted his little boy to get some rest aaaaa

it's so funny when you point out that technique of mine because I don't even always do it intentionally. with this I didn't sit there going "oh I'm going to add this fluff scene specifically to make everything that follows worse" I added it bc I wanted to show the depth of how much phil loves wilbur. it just also has the bonus effect of making everything so much worse

yes phil's mind works so quickly because he's incredibly smart. he knows how these things work. not to mention there's also parental instinct at work here because the second he sees sneeg he can feel that something has gone wrong. and he's going to get revenge on whoever hurt his son.

poor fucking sneeg man is just here for a paycheck and now he's gotta tell the consil that his beloved son is missing will probably be presumed dead if they don't find him soon

[uvanuva]

Hi Uva <3 Tell me about your OC?

Hi mira <3 Well, it all started with therapy KSKDSNSKSK

(NOTE: sorry if this becomes a vent session, mira)

(spoiler: it did)

My therapist used to say how important it is for us to name the schemas, feelings or/ and behaviors that weren't actually healthy so we could separate ourselves from those bad thoughts/lines of thinking. That helps understanding they are one way of answering the stressful scenarios instead of "the only way".

So, when I got the bpd diagnosis, she applied the Jeffrey Young's schema test (I'm a sucker for it tbh) so we could work on those traits. One of the most strong ones was Abandonment (which was obvious from bpd) and she asked me to name it. I couldn't go up with any names but I could clearly imagine this angry hurt child. It helps me to understand that sometimes what I'm feeling comes from her, from bpd and fear of abandonment, which is only a part of me and not the definition of uva herself.

It also helps me to not get flooded with the bad emotions and gives me some distance that helps to analyze the situation with a more rational perspective instead of getting drowned in resentment. Imagine her, imagining border, being sad and feeling alone, makes me wanna calm myself down and help her. Almost like helping myself as a kid. Being hero I longed to see.

(She's super honest too, like, brutal chaotic honest)

So yeah, an oc but my personal friend. She's a kid that floats around like a spirit, has an angry face, don't trust people and will leave people behind before they leave her. She can't stand the feeling of abandonment and has anger issues. Black eyes, pigtails, black hair with bangs and she's just trying to protect herself from the scary world tbf. Border can be mad sometimes but she just needs to feel safe and a cozy hug.

(BTW, the therapist idea was for me to give it a name to the schema and actually tell it to shut up. Like: "hey you, shoosh, get lost, I don't wanna hear this negativity cause I'm okay and things are not as bad as you're saying", BUT I COULDN'T DO IT. I WANNA ACTUALLY HELP HER, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO SAY SHUT UP AND BE RUDE??)

For once I'm trying to enjoy myself, having some alone time without feeling alone and she helps me with that too. I'm loving making picrews of her! So fun!