#Where you just too many ideas and thoughts at once

[nsharks]

bleeding blue | apocalypse au

part thirty —other parts

pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader words: 3.8k tags: death. blood and gore. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. enemies to lovers. SA and implication of child SA (very subtle). summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: this chapter is all from Blue's perspective. if anything regarding the abuse or suffering of children triggers you do not read. though it is really not graphic at all (imo) and the SA is EXTREMELY implied and subtle (just a woman looking/potentially touching Blue's private area to check for virginity). I wanted to tell you so there are no surprises.

B

Blue hasn’t been without her father for more than an hour in over five years. There were moments when she'd imagined him disappearing, especially when he said no to her, when he could annoy her, push her too hard, or withhold the words she craved. And yet—now, with her head resting in Twix's lap, she can only long for him. The thought of his absence fills her with cold dread. The kind that erupts goosebumps on her arms despite the stuffy air in the room. Twix’s fingers gently stroke the back of her scalp, but it does little to ground her as her mind drifts to Ghost. He’s alive, that woman said. But it's been over a day, and he still hasn’t come for her.

"Do you think he will come soon?" she asks quietly.

Twix's fingers pause at the top of her hairline. "I think... I think he is doing everything he can to find you."

Blue is old enough to know that is a non-answer.

She knows, deep down, that Twix doesn't think he'll be coming, either.

"I will figure something out, okay?" she promises.

"Okay," Blue whispers noncommittally.

"Hey." A faint smile. "I've done pretty good at getting us out of shit in the past, right?"

Blue mumbles, "I guess so."

But this time felt different from those times. No matter how many times she catches Twix squinting around the room, murmuring things to Nereida, even Blue knows that a bright idea won’t magically appear. Not in here, where there is nothing except the three beds, the bolted cell, and the out-of-reach door that Ghost has yet to barge through.

When Blue's fingers instinctively search for her wrist, Twix’s face softens, and she gently encloses her palm over Blue's knuckles. "Alright. I want you to close your eyes and imagine that beach you showed me once. The one with white sand, and super blue water." Blue plays along with a deep sigh, closing her eyes as she feels a callused thumb brush her cheek. "Almost as blue as your eyes. See it?"

"I guess."

"Good. Now, I want you to imagine that you are lying on the sand, eating all the Twix bars and Nutella you want. Oh, and Grim is there. He was trying to make a sandcastle but got his head stuck in the sand."

Blue's lips twitch despite herself. "This is dumb."

"Dumb? Well, I don't think Grim finds it dumb. He can hardly breathe right now so you better stop eating chocolate and haul his ass up."

Blue snorts quietly, eyes screwing tighter as she imagines it; pulling the bunny out of the sand, giggling, the waves crashing. She falls back onto the sand with him in tow, but he darts away from her hands, toward the water. When she looks over, sun glaring, someone else is there. It's her father, and for a moment she is ready to jump on his back and beg him to play in the waves with her. That's when she notices he is keeled over, ripped apart, bloodied and battered.

Blue jolts, inhaling sharply. When she reopens her eyes, the image is still there. 

"What's wrong?" 

"I just saw—" she rubs her eyes profusely, but he's right in front of her. Blood begins to spurt from a sever in his throat. His head snaps forward, hanging by a thin thread of tissue. "I see him! H-his head is..." 

She jerks upright from Twix's lap, her eyes blinking rapidly as if trying to shake off the vision. When that doesn't help, she buries her face in the pillow, but the image remains too real to ignore. The thread snaps, and her father’s head rolls away silently.

Twix’s voice cuts through, her hands gently shaking Blue’s shoulders, but it feels distant, like a shadow compared to the sickening thud of her father’s headless body hitting the ground. Thick blood pools at her feet, and she tries to move, but her muscles won’t obey. The blood rises and rises, suffocating her, until she can’t breathe.

"Blue, it's just... you're imagining it."

"I can't... I can't..."

Someone flips her over on the bed and hugs her shoulders.

Twix's chapped lips press into her cheek.

"Please, Blue. I'm here."

The touch is enough to drain the blood and free her lungs. Her father's dead body floats away. She gulps for air, cold sweat clinging to her neck, and curls into the body beside her. Lingering panic races through her heartbeat, but then, after a minute, it begins to slow considerably. A new feeling washes over with the force of a tidal wave; fatigue.

Blue suddenly feels so tired that she can't keep her eyes open. It’s as though the terrible images have drained her entirely, leaving only murky water in their place. Her mind begins to float, and the edges of the world blur. Twix's face is in front of her yet feels so far away. Her lips try to part for words to come out, but it takes three tries just to manage: "I feel strange."

Across the cell, Nereida whispers, "I do, too."

Weight shifts on the mattress as Twix tries to sit up, leaning against the wall. Her head dips slightly, then snaps back up. A shaky inhale. "That... that fucking bitch. The oatmeal!"

The oatmeal? Blue’s thoughts latch onto the warm meal they’d been forced to eat, but the memory slips away before she can hold onto it. The slow descent snowballs. Twix’s voice distorts, blending with the chirping of birds outside the window. Her body slides down the wall, crumpling back beside Blue. She tries to hug Twix again, but her arms won’t cooperate.

Minutes later, or maybe hours, Blue hears the metal screech of the cell door swinging open. Veiled ghosts drift in. She can do nothing to run from them. Murmured voices, speaking words she doesn't understand, bleed through the heavy blanket of fog lying over her.

"Vous avez dit que celui-ci était intact?"

"Oui, Maman."

"Nous offrirons son corps pur au Seigneur. Les deux autres seront aptes à avoir des enfants."

"Mais elle est une... Je veux dire, oui, Maman."

She feels something cold and sinuous lifting her—snakes. No, not snakes. Hands. Cold, unfamiliar hands. Twix shouts something slurred. Then Blue is dragged by her feet, her spine no longer supported by the bed. She tries to squirm free, but her limbs feel heavy, useless. More hands clamp down on her arms.

No, no.

She wants to call for Twix, but her voice is muffled beneath a palm, the sound dying in her throat.

A weathered voice coos in her ear. "Sweet child. There is nothing to fear."

She can't scream.

All she knows is Twix is no longer the one beside her.

Cold fear surges through her veins, and she claws at someone’s arm. The retaliation is swift—a prick to her neck.

The strike of pain intensifies her dizziness, the last fight in her body fading away. They're dragging her again. The hard floor beneath her feet melts into soft grass, and the stark white ceiling shifts into a blue, cloudless sky before everything fades to black.

A gentle melody repeats in her subconscious until she rouses.

The same three-note tune, over and over.

Peeling her eyes open against the buttery sunlight, the first thing she notices is an open window above her head, its thin white curtain dancing in the light breeze. Upon the windowsill sits a small, cooing bird with pearly grey feathers and a black ring around its neck. Its head tilts almost mechanically, two little black eyes regarding her. She stares for a long moment before her eyes fall closed once more, lulled by the familiar call. Only when the bird quiets does she truly come to her senses. The sudden silence jolts her upright.

This isn't the same room she was in before. There hadn’t been a window in the cell, and certainly not one left open. The air there had been thick with the scent of old wood and lingering dust. But here... here, the air is different. It smells of fresh flowers, of the tall grass she used to wade through with Ghost while hunting. 

The bird calls once more before flittering away, leaving her reeling.

"A collared dove."

Her gaze snaps to the right where an old woman sits in a mahogany chair, knitting needles in hand. Without looking up from the red yarn she weaves, she explains idly, "They are very common. Lovely, but common."

The accent of her old voice is nothing like Blue's Mancunian one. But she understands each word.

Her voice pulls through her teeth with great effort. "I don't... Where am I?"

The old woman's brow furrows as if she is deep in thought, but it smoothes over after she undoes a stitch and loops it again, hands moving with an unnatural slowness. "You had them in England, yes? They are very common there, too."

Blue's fingers spread into the fine linen, her pulse ticking as she blinks a few times to sharpen her vision. The woman before her is older than anyone she has seen in a long time, though there is a faint resemblance to a woman deep in her memory who she believes was her grandmother. Unlike the woman who visited their cell with food, this one does not wear a veil over her face. Long wisps of gray hair fall over her shoulders. Wrinkles etch around her eyes and lips. She is still cloaked in white, but around her neck hangs a red cord beaded with a cross dangling at the end.

Her fingers clench. "I don't care about the-the stupid bird. Why am I here? Where are my friends? You..." she swallows the feel of sandpaper in her mouth, "You put something in the food. You made me lose control of myself again!"

Finally, grey-blue eyes flicker up beneath a questioning brow. "Oh, sweet child. You are so full of fire." With an unsettling calmness, the woman sets down the knitting needles on a carved side table. Pressing a palm to the surface of it, she rises slowly, then laces her hands in front of her. "Come, and perhaps your questions will be answered. Though, I wouldn't try to run." She moves toward the door, her gait shuffled but steady. A glance over her shoulder beckons. "Your friends are under my care."

The mere mention stiffens Blue's spine. She forces herself to her unsteady feet, swaying slightly, bare toes digging into the wood planks. Each small step feels lighter than the first time she woke up from being drugged, though her body still protests. Ahead, the woman is already walking away. It wouldn’t take much to catch up, but Blue lingers, her eyes sweeping the room with deliberate caution—always stay aware of your surroundings.

For a moment, she considers grabbing the knitting needle and stabbing the woman. But then what? Everyone, her father included, is under her care, and any misstep could mean their deaths. Ghost always told her to never act without some type of plan—to wait for the right moment. Blue doesn’t even know where the others are.

As she hesitantly steps out of the small house, the realization hits her. There are more people here than she’s seen in a long time. Almost like a town, but not really. Smaller than that, but more than her group. The building they just left is a small, home made of light grey stone. To her right are more homes, smoke billowing from the chimneys. She counts at least four of them. Straight ahead of her is gravel road. This is where the woman heads, with Blue trailing behind her. To the left is a stretch of green lawn, bright and lush. She has the itch to sprint over it, but a voice ends that idea.

"Catch up, girl." 

Gravel bites her toes as she walks to the woman's side. She is still only dressed in the simple, white slip. She hasn't worn a dress before.

"Where are you taking me?"

"There are some things I wish you to see." 

"Why... why can't the friends I was with be here to see them, too?"

From the corner of her eyes, Blue catches the woman smile lightly. "What do you think of France?"

Blue digs her nails into her palms, swallowing down her frustration at the non-answer. "It's... nice, I guess." It isn't a lie. The beautiful beach they left from, the fields of wheat and flowers, were things she'd only imagined before. 

"Good. My husband was from India but owned this land. I never wanted to leave it. France is the most beautiful place. I knew I wanted my son to grow here." She exhales in a quiet appreciation. "My husband said this land would thrive, even after the plague. He was right. The Lord spared it. He did not spare Ashwin, though."

Blue doesn't know what to say to that. If she should feel sorry for this person or not. She didn't state her husband's death in a sorrowful way, merely factual. As they walk, they pass a few men hunched over tree stumps, chopping wood. The smell of fresh earth and spilt sap wafts up her nose. The men glance up, their gazes lingering on Blue a moment too long, making her shift uncomfortably. Then, they lower their heads respectfully toward the woman. She speaks to them in French, and their chuckles follow her words.

Under a warm afternoon, they approach what looks like a large barn, bordered by wooden fence posts strung with taut wires. Inside the fenced area, Blue notices a white horse, smaller than Cherry, along with four cows. More men are working nearby, some tending to the animals while others, farther off, wield sickles to harvest stalks of wheat.

When they stop in front of the fence, Blue can't stop herself from asking, "Where are all the girls at? Like the one who fed us? I've only seen guys so far."

The woman doesn't look at her. "Our community is built around the roles God intended for us. Men have bodies made for working under the sun. Women, like those beautiful young ladies you traveled with, are vessels to be cherished, protected. Especially in these times when they have become rather scarce."

A few of the words fail to make sense to Blue, never having learned them from any of the books Ghost read her. "Um, is that why you separated the girls in my group from the men?"

She hums, a slow sound. "Women are kept in their own quarters with the infants."

"Okay," Blue rocks on her feet and grips the hem of the dress before the light air can catch it. So is her dad one of those men working, then? She squints, confused, and shakes her head. No; if he was anywhere out here, he would've come to her. He must be locked up, too. A wave of anger buzzes in her chest, louder than the cicadas. "That still doesn't explain why you are holding Twix and Nereida prisoner. If women are so special, why are they locked up and I am out here? And where are all the men from my group?" Her mind briefly flashes to the others; Kyle, Price, and... Ari. 

"None of them are prisoners, child. They are merely being readied for the role their bodies were created for, by God."

Blue grits her teeth. "You're not really answering my questions. What about me? Why did you bring me to," she glances back at the working men, who haven't stopped to look at her like the others had, too engrossed in the strenuous labor. "A fucking farm. What could you possibly want to show me here?"

"There is someone I need here before our next stop." She leans closer to the barbed fence and calls out, "Pierre! J'ai besoin de toi et de trois hommes pour nous accompagner jusqu'à la cale. Apporte les chaînes."

A man—Pierre, she guesses—strikes one of the cattle's hindquarters, wipes sweat from the back of his neck, then shouts in French to three others following behind him. They unlatch a gate in the fence and slip inside a small shed for a brief moment, emerging with rusted chains in hand. They approach, causing Blue to falter and step back. An old, strange woman is one thing, but three strong men are another. A fissure of terror cracks through her, and she inhales shakily.

"You need not be afraid."

She blinks up at the woman, who for a moment, conjures something similar to a comforting expression. Blue nods, and then they are walking again, with the four men trailing behind them. The sound of the chains dangling in their grasp makes her feel uneasy. What are they for, and why are they coming with them? She is ready to build the bravery to ask when the woman ghosts a hand on her shoulder.

"What is your name, child?"

"It's... um, Blue."

A soft chuckle. "The English and their strangeness. This is not your real name, is it?"

For some reason, Blue finds the truth stuttering out of her. "No, it's—the name I was born with is Amelia."

"Amelia. Much better. Tell me, Amelia, did your mother have blue eyes?"

Blue nearly chokes, her footsteps halting in the grass as she flinches away from her hand, curling her fingers into fists. "What the fu—why are you asking me that?"

The woman stops beside her and clasps her hands together, the long sleeves of her gown falling over them. She is a small woman, hardly taller than Blue, and can't be any stronger than she is, but something about her emits control. Blue can't look away from her eyes, even as her jaw tightens, stomach swirling.

"There are many answers to questions that can be discovered on their own if one simply looks for them. I know which one of them is your father—"

"How could you know?" Blue demands. "I haven't even said any of them was my dad."

Thin lips twitch at the side. "A daughter gets the shape of her face from her father." A bony finger reaches to trail the edge of Blue's cheek, and she trembles from the cold feel of it. "But the features are all from her mother." She looks away and continues walking, speaking over her shoulder, "A little dove might have also told me he was asking for you."

When the men step forward, Blue is forced to continue walking. It feels hard to breathe, even though the canopy of trees offer fresh, rich air. "Then why are you asking about my mother?"

"Your eyes are blue, but your father's are not. I was simply curious."

"My mother is dead," Blue finds herself gritting out. 

"I figured. Neither of those women were her, and many mothers have been lost. A very terrible thing. A child needs its mother. You will call me Maman, Amelia. This is what French children call their mothers."

"I am not going to fucking call you that. Tell me where we are going," Blue presses, swallowing as she looks back at the farm behind them. Through the gaps between the men's shoulders, she sees that it is rather distant now, along with the small homes. She looks back ahead; nothing but overgrown vegetation. Even the flowers have grown sparse over here. It is quiet and still. She can hear the thrum of her own heart.

"Your fire is admirable, but you need to learn respect." For the first time, Maman's voice carries an edge, one that sends a shiver down Blue's spine. A foreign bird call echoes through the leaves, and the woman holds up a hand, signaling for everyone to stop and listen. "Ah. That’s the Bluethroat, if I’m not mistaken. Much rarer than the dove. You won't often find those in England."

The bird calls again—a trilled chirp—as they crest over a small hill, and the air suddenly grows heavier, more pungent. A smell Blue knows well makes her freeze, but a strong grip on her arm keeps her moving toward the source of the stench: an old, smaller building made of much darker stone. The sharp rustle of wings through the trees fades into the distance, but the tension in her body doesn’t ease.

"You, too, are rare, Amelia," Maman continues, voice steady and unhurried. "A pure, young female like you—so virtuous—carries more favor from God than any other. Your friends have their purpose, and you have yours. Each of us plays a part in shaping the new vision of God's children."

The men move in front of them now, except for one who continues gripping Blue. The tremble in her body intensifies, and a cold pit grows unbearable in her chest, thundering. She is forced to stand about four meters in front of the large door, where one man grips the handle while two others, including Pierre, stand beside it, their hands ready with chains and their stances wide. It’s now, through the stinging film that grows over her eyes, that Blue notices large metal muzzles attached to the chains.

Blue is too stunned—too confused, yet frightfully aware—to move a muscle when Maman procures a knife from inside her robe. Pierre shouts something in French, but Blue can barely hear him. Her senses are fixed on the bead of sunlight glinting off the knife, and on the scratching and snarling she hears from the other side of the door.

"Please—" she gasps, unable to finish the thought.

Maman ignores her in favor of snatching hold of her wrist. Cold fingers force her arm to extend, and a burning pain cries out when the knife slashes a laceration from her elbow to the rim of her palm. 

"Une seule coupure pour les attirer."

The blood weeps, and the door shakes from the ignited frenzy behind it.

Tears finally escape Blue’s eyes just before the door opens. She feels it—the sensation of her body being torn apart beneath rotten teeth. She squeezes her eyes shut, thinking of Ghost, when she hears more shouting and the harsh sound of chains being whipped through the air. When she opens her eyes again, the men are wrestling two Greys into the muzzles.

"Deux c'est bien!" Maman orders, and the door is slammed shut over the others that threaten to spill out toward the fresh wound. 

Blue is alive.

Her arm numb and bleeding. 

Maman yanks something else from her robe—a strip of cloth. She wraps it roughly around Blue's forearm, then issues another command. Without warning, Blue is hoisted from the ground and callously tossed over the shoulder of the man who had held her in place. They start heading back the way they came, the leashed Greys trailing behind them, and finally, a scream rips from Blue’s throat.

"You said this one was intact?" "Yes, Maman." "We will offer her pure body to the Lord. The other two will be fit to have children." "But she is a… I mean, yes, Maman." "Pierre! I need you and three men to accompany us to the hold. Bring the chains." "One cut to attract them.” “Two is good!”

[grudgecollector]

Afterglow | Nam-gyu / American!Reader

You're reading part five

Story Summary: Nam-gyu gets a new job and finds himself falling for the girl behind the deli counter.

Words: 2.3k

Tags/Warnings: Nam-gyu and Thanos have PTSD, canon divergence, Thanos lives, Nam-gyu doesn't know how to process negative emotions, angst, self harm, fluff, smut, dry humping, p n v, unprotected, creampie

A/N: Haiii what a whiplash of tags

It's been absolutely forever since I've written smut so I apologize if this isn't good LMAO

I just felt I might as well give you guys a little gift after last chapter

Anyway I'm not sure if this is going to be the last chapter. But I feel like it's a fitting end for these two. I might do some little tid bits in the future, I've got some ideas already, but you'll just have to bare with me.

I'm a little iffy about this chapter. I have no idea if it makes sense or if it's actually good, but I think that's only because I kind of struggled to write it and have been staring at it WAY TOO LONG.

MASTERLIST

Lightning strikes rippled through the dark rainy skies above Nam-gyu’s apartment. Streaks of yellow light blooming before each thunderous boom echoed above. The awning above shielded Nam-gyu from the downpour that fell in thick drops, smacking against the ground in quick succession. 

Nam-gyu’s chest felt hollow, emotions numb, but his head still had a storm raging inside. He felt terrible. You had been so excited to show him and Su-bong all that Halloween had to offer in America.

He would be lying if he said he didn't share your enthusiasm, but the events of this morning had ruined everything.

A particularly bad nightmare had woken Nam-gyu up. Sweat was covering his chest and the back of his neck. He blinked several times trying to register where he was, your horrified screams still echoing through his head. 

He had wanted to call you, to receive the comfort your voice always brought him, but he didn’t want to worry you so early in the morning.

Throughout the day his thoughts ran wild, the nightmare playing over and over in more and more gruesome scenarios. Nam-gyu felt like he was being sucked back into that nightmarish place with each minute that passed. 

Nam-gyu flicked the flimsy ashes of his cigarette onto the pavement below. He picked at the skin around his fingernails carelessly. His eyelids sagged a little, his lips downturned in a cold expression, irritation jabbing itself into his side. 

He honestly felt embarrassed, a brief insecure thought of “Am I overreacting?” passing through his head. Nam-gyu was used to acting like this around Su-bong, having witnessed each other at their very worst many times. But to have you see this part of him? It made him want to crawl out of his skin.

You shouldn’t have to be with someone so broken. 

Nam-gyu didn’t want to admit it to himself, but his friend was right. 

He couldn’t keep tearing himself apart like this. And he knew once he fell down that slippery slope, he would drag you down right alongside him.

He would become the worst version of himself all over again. The self centered, arrogant, careless asshole he always became when he was high. 

The cherry of his cigarette was so bright against the blackened night sky, the white paper burning back, peeling into a burnt black before turning grey as he took another slow drag. 

Just one more score… One more hit… Just one more bump… One last time…

The cigarette sizzled against Nam-gyu’s wrist, he sucked in a loud hiss through his teeth. The burning pain bloomed through his skin as he let the remains of the orange filter fall to the ground pathetically, an angry red burn staring back at him. 

~~~

The next few days dragged on at an agonizing pace. You hadn’t seen Nam-gyu or Su-bong since that night, and it left a pit of hopelessness in your stomach. You constantly had to remind yourself to put your phone away, rereading the text Su-bong had sent you over and over again. 

“Just give us a few days and I promise you’ll get some answers.”

Each passing second you waited for that chime to come. Glancing back to the black screen of your phone more often than you would like to admit. That nausea stirred by anxiety bit at the back of your throat for hours on end during the second day, tears threatening to fall from your eyes. 

In a way you were terrified that this would somehow result in the end of your relationship, overthinking every possible outcome that could happen once Su-bong finally does text you. 

You knew deep down that you were being ridiculous. But in the past your relationships have ended over much more trivial things. Stupid things that could have been talked about, solved with a simple conversation. 

No, this couldn’t be what ended things with Nam-gyu. You couldn’t let someone like him slip through your fingers like that. No matter how broken or bruised he thought he was. 

But as you sat on his couch listening to Su-bong recount the events they experienced while in South Korea, you finally started to understand. 

The blood and carnage they witnessed, it would have been unbelievable if Su-bong didn’t show you the articles to back up everything he said. 

“BREAKING: Underground deathmatch operation in South Korea finally comes to a halt, forty two people rescued, number of arrests unknown at this time.” 

You looked over at Nam-gyu who was at the other end of the couch, legs tucked into his chest as he smoked a blunt lazily, looking everywhere but at you. He hasn’t said a word since you sat down, his fingers dragging across his bottom lip softly as he listened to his friend talk. 

A tense silence hung in the air after Su-bong finished. His eyes lingered on Nam-gyu before looking at you. 

How does someone even respond to something like this? Where do you even begin? You have never watched someone die, let alone be murdered. In all honesty you thought that Nam-gyu might have just relapsed, and that he was too scared to tell you. 

You could have never guessed it was something as horrifying as this. 

Nam-gyu cleared his throat, “Please don’t feel like you need to pity me. The stuff we went through was… It was bad but-" He was quiet for a second, stuck on his own words, "Fuck I don’t even know how to talk about this shit, nevermind.” He laughed bitterly, going back to smoking. 

Being stuck in an environment like that can fundamentally change a person for life. Preyed upon at their lowest points, broken down into the worst versions of yourself. Hundreds of people ripping each other apart lest they fall first, having to fight your way out with no guarantee that you would live to see the sunlight again.

You couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must have been like for them. 

“All we’re asking is for you to be a little patient with us.” Su-bong said finally, picking awkwardly at the strings on his pants. 

You realize that they both must have felt extremely vulnerable right now. One of their darkest secrets finally out in the open, revealing the throbbing gash that was their minds. 

“Of course.” 

~~~

Nam-gyu’s room was freezing. A fan humming loudly in the corner of his room, the notch turned to the highest setting. The curtain over his window fluttered, the streetlights from outside briefly lighting his sparsely decorated walls, illuminating your soft gaze. Nam-gyu could almost trick himself into thinking stars were in your eyes, sparkling as they stared into his soul. 

Your fingertips kissed the skin of his cheek, your lips a sweet caress against his as you whispered softly to him. Words that soaked into his skin like sunlight on a summer’s day, he could almost hear birds chirp in the back of his mind as his eyes slipped closed.

That storm raging inside of him slowly turned into a soft drizzle, and for a brief moment Nam-gyu almost felt like a rainbow could bloom from behind the grey clouds of his mind. 

You made everything feel right. 

Every thorny fear stabbed into Nam-gyu’s quickly beating heart kissed away by each touch. 

“I love you, Nam-gyu… More than I have ever loved anyone.” You whispered against his cheek. 

His blunt fingernails scratched oh so softly at the skin under your shirt, drawing meaningless patterns as you continued showering him in your adoration.

Nam-gyu swore that his heart was going to beat out of his chest, the only thing that plagued his mind now was you. 

“I’m really sorry…” Nam-gyu finally spoke up, his voice weaker than he had expected it to be. 

You looked at him curiously, fingers combing through his hair gently. Goosebumps rose up on Nam-gyu’s arms as he tried to think about what he wanted to say next. 

“I know that you were really scared a few days ago… And I just feel bad, I should have told you about all of this sooner, but…” He took a deep, shaky breath, “I was terrified that you would see me differently. Like I'm some broken… thing that needed fixing.” 

A kiss was pressed softly to Nam-gyu’s forehead, then to his cheek, there was a long beat of silence. Nam-gyu could tell you were carefully figuring out how to word your response. 

“Don’t apologize for not telling me. I’m just thankful that you felt safe enough to let me in like this.” 

~~~

Over the next month things started to settle back down. Nam-gyu still struggled, as any normal person would in his circumstance. But eventually your usual routines were slowly restored, and things felt like they were back to normal again.

Nam-gyu was smiling a lot more, his usual playful attitude finally shining back through. It seemed as though a weight was finally being lifted from his tense shoulders, allowing him to relax back into his life. 

And as a way to provide a helpful distraction from their troubles, you got them into one of your favorite shows that you watched as a teenager. 

It was an American show that neither man had heard of before, they were interested enough to start watching it, and now they were hooked. You wished so desperately you could watch for the first time all over again. Wishing you could share their shocked reactions when their wide eyes would meet yours. 

“Oh my god- get this bitch out of my face.” Nam-gyu groaned, a particularly annoying character walking on screen. 

“He’s really not that bad.” Su-bong commented, crunching loudly on a piece of popcorn, “At least he killed that one guy.” 

Nam-gyu glances up at you from where his head was laying on your thigh, as if to say “Can you believe this guy?” before rolling his eyes and saying,

“Yeah that was the most useful thing he’s done this entire season.”

A small laugh leaves you, your fingers softly playing with his hair. Your fingertips softly brushed against the shell of his ear, making him shiver a little. There was a certain heat to your touch, grabbing his attention as you trailed closer to the base of his neck and around to trace the side of his adams apple. 

You watched him carefully. Watched as his hand slowly came up to your thigh, gripping just above your knee, his body was more tense than before. But his eyes didn’t leave the screen for a second, not even as your fingertips dipped below the collar of his shirt and your fingernails scratched against the skin just below his collarbone. 

~~~

His lips whispered across your skin, fingers gripping harshly on your hips as he brought you closer. You could feel how hard he was against your clothed center. You could feel the heat of his cock pressing into you as you grind down against him, small moans slipping from his mouth between breathless kisses. 

Your neck was wet with his spit, bite marks already blooming into delicious bruises. One of your hands weaved through his hair, deepening your desperation as his tongue made its way past your parted lips. 

He guides your hips with precision, the press of him making your desire heighten with each salacious movement. You felt like a woman starved, every fibre of your being craving him. With every sound that left his lips, every time your name dripped from his tongue. 

“Fuck, honey.” He whispered against your lips, he braced a hand on your back as he flipped the both of you over, his hips working against yours harder than before, “Fuck…”

Nam-gyu separated himself from you for just a second, pushing his boxers down just enough. You were quick to remove your own underwear, throwing it to the floor. Your legs quickly found their way back to his waist, your hands pulling him back down for another kiss. 

You couldn’t keep your hands off of him. Your lips pressed soft kisses to his jaw when he leaned his forehead against your shoulder, pushing himself inside of you so slowly. The stretch of his cock made your lips part with a gasp, your nails bit into his shoulder as he started grinding into you, the tip kissing your cervix. 

“Shit, baby, always so fucking tight.” His words sent jolts through your whole body, “So good...” He whispered into your ear. 

His first thrust almost pushed the air from your lungs, a steady pace being set as his hands explored your chest. He squeezed your breast before he brought his hand to brush his thumb against your throat. 

Sweet moans poured from his mouth as he pressed messy kisses to the side of your throat. His hips slapped yours loudly, his cock ramming so deep inside you that it leaves you breathless. You felt like you were vibrating with pleasure. 

“‘S fucking good- shit.” His hand trailed down between your sweaty bodies, his middle finger finding your clit. Sparks traveled through your body to the tips of your toes, his fingers massaged against your bundle of nerves softly.

“Please…” You whine out pathetically. 

“You gonna cum baby?” You could see the smirk playing at the corner of his lips. 

His hips were slamming into you harder now, fucking into you like it would be the last time. He was savoring every single drag of his cock inside your velvet walls, squeezing against him so tightly, pulling him back in. 

“Nam-gyu, oh fuck!” Your thighs shook against him as your orgasm crashed into you, your fingers clawing against his shoulders. 

“Shit.” He gasped, his hips grinding into yours and you could feel him twitch as he finally came, hot spurts coating your insides. 

Nam-gyu’s eyes met yours. They were soft, swimming with unspoken emotions, a small smile tugged at his lips. His fingers brushed away the sweaty strands of hair from your cheek, fingertips grazing your jaw as he brought you into a crushing kiss. A kiss that said, 

I love you… I love you… I love you…

[writingwisterias]

I know you have so many requests but can you whip up a delicious smut where chris and leon take the reader on different dates in a skimpy little skirt every other week and make her sit on their cocks in public?? They're fighting to see who can fill you up and make you squirm in the most deranged places without getting noticed, and the reader is just stuck, cockdrunk in the boys silly little game... 💝

Fuck Yes, I can...I need them both anyway! Sorry it took me a while I again wanted to flesh it out, I hope you enjoy it.

Warnings: SMUT, MDNI, Public Sex, Degradation Kink, Cock warming, Cow girl riding, Soft Dom! Leon, Dom Chris, Praise Kink Leon Kennedy x AFAB! Reader x Chris Redfield

You got the best of both worlds being in a relationship with them. As they both take different approaches in terms of their affection. It was rare you got to spend time all together and when you did, they were too tired. All of you opted for lazy sex or cuddles as you made them catch up on the movies you have missed. You got all around constant attention and in the grand scheme of things who was going to complain about that? One of them was always home, greeting you with some morning head, nibbles at your thigh and blissful orgasms. Leon always favoured your taste, his cock always spewing his pre cum against the sheets as he feasted upon you. Whilst Chris couldn’t wait to have you clenching around his cock, enjoying the way it split you open. It was perfect.  

Today, Leon was home. You watched him get dressed from where you perched on the bed. The blue shirt hugged his frame perfectly, the sleeves outlining each curve of his bicep. Proof of his endless fighting turning his form into a perfect chiselled statue that you got to look at. With how much you increased his ego over the years you were surprised he didn’t make you pray to it like he was a Greek statue. “Are you ready for our day out princess?” He spoke, watching you from the mirror he was currently in front of. Your pleated skirt fell around your thighs perfectly, just short enough that when you were sat it gave him easier access. The plaid material made his imagination run even more wild with plenty of sick fantasies, his cock twitching just at the thought.  

He had to wait though, he had plans for you today. What you didn’t know was that Chris was back in town. Spending the last few days in the office making sure the reports he needed to do were complete so he could spend more time with the two of you. You will find out soon, during lunch with Leon. “More than ready, I’m just waiting on you” You smirked, your legs kicking out in front of you creating a steady beat against the bed frame as they swung back against it. Leon watched you, the frill socks you had picked out looked perfect with the Mary Jane’s. 

Your style was one of the things he always loved about you. “You always show me up, I want to look like I tried this time” He retorted. You loved his smile and the banter you shared with Leon. The two of you often create bad puns as you walk around together, his one-liners coming out as bad dad jokes. It was something you couldn’t share with Chris, his grumpier more dominant attitude normally scoffed at the idea. Rolling his eyes instead of laughing - though you both swore you’ve seen him attempt to hide a smirk every once in a while. 

“You always look good but you should wear the black leather. You always look good in that one” You smiled, pointing towards the jacket hanging on the back of the door. Leon smiled again, a large toothy one showing off his perfect whites. His hand however moved for the jacket with the white stripes causing you to shake your head. “Why not? It will match your white socks” He commented, despite his apparent protest he still took off the jacket that you recommended. You rolled your eyes, hopping off the edge of the bed to meet him. His hands landed on your hips as he kissed you. The stubble coating his face tickling your cheeks as he began to pepper you with them.

“Enough, we have a reservation don’t we?” You giggled, pulling away to look at his face. Your fingers swiped away at a few strands of his hair away from his face. His hand grasped yours bringing the palm of yours to his lips. They were soft, the pressure light as he smiled against it. “Bossy today are we?” He teased, mumbling against the softness of your skin. Your giggle was cute as always causing the man to break out into a larger grin as he led you out the door. 

The diner as always was fairly busy, the guys favorite spot to eat due to the booths that gave them a small amount of privacy. Leon watched your expression change when you spotted Chris in the usual spot. The smile growing, your eyes lighting up with affection. It was cute. Your skirt lifted slightly as you did an awkward run to him showing off Leon’s favorite lacy thong. Of course you wore his favorite, after all Chris was just a surprise. Chris smirked from over your shoulder as he watched Leon adjust himself during his approach. “Surprise” Chris whispered, nipping at the skin on your neck enjoying how your frame tucked nicely into his. His display bothered the man behind you, despite their mutual love for you, the throple you seemed to act sometimes didn’t exist, only merely two men that fought for your attention and pussy. 

That's why when Chris slid back into the booth, you were tugged onto his lap. “I like the outfit today, sweetie” He whispered in your ear as you settled. His hands squeezed your thighs, inching further towards your covered cunt. The waitresses were used to this, you wouldn’t be surprised if you found out that they both tipped extra so they ignored what was going on. “Thank you, Leon thought it was cute too. He tried to match” You giggled. Chris gave off a low chuckle, lifting his eyes to the man that was opposite the two of you with an unamused look on his face. They ordered food quickly, the drinks leaving rings on the wooden table in front of you as you waited. All whilst this was happening Chris’ fingers now began to explore the dampened fabric of your underwear. He didn’t miss the floral lace design underneath his fingertips, tracing each petal in a teasing motion. 

Florals - that was Leon’s favorite. Irritation began to pulse through his system, his touch becoming possessive as he cupped your pussy. “Lift up a second sweetie” He instructed, stopping your pleasant conversation with Leon. You did as you were told, your obedience to Chris never faltered. You never teased or acted bratty with him - his punishments were far worse than Leon’s. You heard his fly unzip, his thighs bumping against the back of yours as he eased his hardened cock out. He tugged you back on his lap, making sure your thong was pulled to the side. You gasped when his cock slid in with ease, your arousal helping you adjust to his thick length. What Chris lacked in size he gained in girth. “Fuck, So tight” He chuckled as he adjusted his hips making them jolt up inside you. 

Leon smirked at your face, despite his cock not entering you he got the enjoyment of you trying to act casual and continue his conversation. At seeing all of your pretty faces as you did so. “You alright there darling? You haven’t even started to eat yet and you look a little…full” 

Your scowl was cute, the bit in your lip was cuter. Chris jolted his hips again the movements were shallow - not enough to give you the overwhelming pleasure you were used to. It was a slow build up. Your hips began to circle, desperately trying to at least get him to speed up. Hoping your movements would tease him and encourage him to go faster. It was working to your credit, the man had leaned back. His legs now man spread allowing you to have more range of motion. How something he initiated had become your issue to fix was beyond you. 

“No one is paying attention to you being such a cock slut it's okay. Just focus on making us both feel good” Chris whispered in your ear after having noticed your eyes watching the diner full of people. Your brain dissociates causing your movements to falter in case someone was watching. Leon shuffled in his chair, his hand palming himself lightly to get some ease on his cock. “Such a good girl, Now if you just cum we can eat” Chris whispered in your ear. “What about you?” You whimpered back. Even cock drunk you valued their own pleasure above yours, you wouldn’t cum until you knew Chris would. It was mostly the only bratty thing you would do. “You know I won’t miss the opportunity to cum inside you after Leon has had you for weeks. Gotta make sure you remember what I feel like. Now cum” 

Leon’s hard on was gone now, his face was unimpressed as Chris’ words made you cum. He watched your eyes roll back, your teeth tug at your lip to hide your whimpers. So Chris wanted to make it a competition then. Game on. 

It was hard to concentrate on the rest of their conversation and the food you were eating as Chris’ load dripped down your thighs. If you were paying attention to the conversation they were having you would have heard them arguing over where to go next, why Leon despite knowing Chris was going to be here let you wear his favorite underwear. You also didn’t miss the way that despite Chris currently having load dripping out of you his hand was splayed out possessively on your thigh, smudging the cum into your skin. Something Leon also didn’t fail to notice. 

The walk to the next place Leon got more touchy, his hand was around your waist tucking you into his side. His fingers teasing along the waistline of your skirt. He ignored any conversation you and Chris were having, opting to stay silent as he thought about burying his cock inside you – making sure that he gave you enough of his cum that you would forget about Chris’. 

The bar was dark as it always was. Your usual seat was taken, the larger booth that Chris normally scowled anyone away from. Leon didn’t feel like doing that today, instead opting for one of the more exposed tables near the wall. The window, despite being covered in vinyl, still provided minimal coverage. Maybe it was because he was angry or needed to prove a point but his cock was entering you as he tugged you on his lap. Something that happened so fast you barely registered him taking it out. Chris’ brows furrowed when you gasped, your knuckles turning white as Leon made sure you immediately bottomed out on him. His cock was longer, a slight curve to it that you loved so much as it moved against that spongy spot inside you. Of course he knew this. 

The music was louder tonight, any signs of what you were doing were hidden from the volume of the place. Your skirt worked wonders to hide what was going on. “You think I would let Chris just make you forget what I feel like once he’s back. Come on now Darling we both know who fills you up the best” Leon chuckled deeply in your ear. His breath causes you to flinch and jolt on his cock. Leon never needed to do any work, you just needed to squirm enough to do it yourself. He would never instruct you to do it like Chris. No he liked to play on the idea of you believing you are in control. It was more fun that way. 

Your orgasm with Leon was a slow game; he never rushed these things. He held you close making sure his lips or breath teased you, his fingers tickling your thighs and sides as he held a conversation with Chris about the man's latest mission. Your cheeks darkened in colour, the blood rushing to your head as you felt that coil tighten. He smiled as your hips moved on their own. To everyone else it just looked like you were getting comfy, but he could feel it. The way his tip grew deeper, each clench of your walls as you hit a spot you liked. Much like Chris earlier he didn’t do anything. Just sipped on the whiskey that made his head spin. 

“Such a good girl for the both of us today. Maybe we will have to treat you when we get home hmm?” Leon spoke as Chris left for the bathroom. His attention finally fell on you as he nipped at your neck. Hand closest to the wall slipping up your skirt to tease your clit. You both looked passionate, drunk as you made out in the back. No one is paying attention. It spurred you on that all someone had to do was look under the table to see what was happening. The way you rode Leon and his finger grateful circled your sensitive bud in return. 

“Do you like being this naughty? Doing this where everyone can see…me and Chris competing for your cunt. Such a naughty Slut” 

It was too much, his words made you spin. Chris’ chuckle as he made his way back opposite you. You came, your cunt like a vice around Leon as he then came. The thick vein that ran up his cock pulsating inside you as he spewed his load. With Chris’ leftovers still inside you, it began to drip out – making a mess on the front of his trousers. “I always liked the messy ones” Chris chuckled as he handed Leon a few napkins. To at least prevent an embarrassing stain as you would soon leave the bar. 

The volume of their glasses was like a timer, each sip getting you closer to a well deserved night where they would continue to compete for your attention. 

[obae-me]

How He Kisses

Hey there, so things are...kinda awful right now, and while I don't want to fully distract myself from my other works I'm chipping away at, I did want to post something a bit short and sweet to hopefully- well, saying "to make everyone feel better" feels sort of self-inflated, but if I can make everyone stop and think about something happy for just one second, that's more than I can ask for. I have no idea how similar this is to my hug headcanon ones. Not really checked for too many errors, this was all kind of done in the spur of the moment, but I don't think that matters too much.

Lucifer

Proper and slow. He likes being patient, kissing you once before pulling back to look at your face. He feels a sense of Pride when he can see the effect he has on you, knowing that he can comfort you like this. He's a perfectionist, he likes the whole experience to be included. That's why he likes to do it more often when you two are alone, knowing he has the freedom to do whatever it takes to make this moment perfect. Whether it's music, a lit fireplace, over a dinner, under the comfort of a blanket, everything is set up for you. To show his love for you, nothing less than high quality will be accepted. The kiss is simply the bow that ties everything together. And he'll take his time to relish in this moment with you.

Mammon

Fervent and greedy. He cannot contain his love for you. Even around his brothers, he lets it slip. So when you find yourselves alone, it's like pulling the lid off a stuffed container. Your eyelids, your ears, your forehead, cheeks, chin, lips, none of them shall be spared in his spree. It's almost frantic, as if he doesn't get as many now, he'll never have them again. He craves all of you, and he wants to be only yours in equal measure. Love, soul, attention, all of it is for you. It's as if he has to make up the seconds lost whenever you're apart. He never wants it to end. He hardly breathes. Every one is just as good as the last, and he is focused on making it just as wonderful an experience for you as well. After all, he wants you to be greedy too. Tell him your every desire.

Levi

Eager and grateful. Push past the anxiousness and the self-doubt, and you find a Levi that adores you more than anything. Like an ultra rare drop he can't get anywhere else. If he can stand in line for days for something he wants, he will stand with you till the end of time. His kisses show that, how deeply in love he is for you. Given the chance, he has the confidence to prove to you how special you are to him. Every kiss gets him more excited than the last, and in turn, he's determined to do whatever it takes to make you feel just as joyous as he is in these moments. Thank you for being here with him, your presence means more to him than you currently know, and he'll spare no effort to start showing you that.

Satan

Meek and curious. Whether or not it is considered if he's kissed someone before, every time he kisses you, it feels like the first time. He almost always has a distant look on his face, as if he's thinking about a million other things at the same time, and every million of those thoughts is something about you. He learns something new every time and commits it to memory. Which way your head naturally tilts, where you prefer his hands to be, how many you like, how long they take, he's going to remember them all. Well, he says that, but oftentimes its as if his mind wipes after every kiss. It's hard to think during those moments. But he's not worried about it, that just means he'll have to keep going. He has no plans to leave your side anytime soon after all.

Asmo

Uplifting and addictive. He likes to kiss for every occasion, every emotion. Happy? Kiss. Excited? Kiss? Sad? He says he saves his best kisses for those moments especially. Maybe it's shared love that makes his kisses almost tingle, or maybe its some kind of magic. It makes you feel light. And he'll give you as many as you want. He adores kissing you, not able to get enough of it. It's as though he's almost on clockwork, having to give you an embrace at perfect intervals throughout the day. He can't get enough of you, and he can't help but get giddy at the thought of running to your side and letting you know exactly just how much he loves you.

Beel

Warm and encompassing. Gluttony often gets mixed up with Greed, but this is one of those instances where the differences are clear. Every kiss is slow, and feels as if it lasts several lifetimes. It's as if he's drinking you in, savoring this moment in it's entirety. Of course he'll come in for seconds, and thirds, and fourths, but it comes steadily. Something about his kisses fills you with a warmth that's hard to describe, similar to soup or a hot beverage seeping through every part of your body to endure the coldest of days. It makes your toes curl like they're in warm socks. It makes you feel as if nothing can get to you. And with him around, nothing will.

Belphie

Soft and persistent. No amount of drowsiness can stop him. Even if he's asleep, the demon that will normally sleep like the dead will wake himself up and make sure to give you a kiss. They're so gentle, and it's difficult to tell if its tied to his personality, or if he's afraid of hurting you. Sometimes they're as light as a feather, almost tickling you. If you're falling asleep, they'll never wake you, only guiding you towards sweeter dreams. With every movement you make, you'll almost recognize the sensation of his kisses. They're like a promise, an assurance, that even in the deepest darkest of dreams, he's right there. They always lull you into a sense of peace.

[emryx]

When two NPCs with maybe 5 total minutes of screentime have you so obsessed you give them a child 🏃🏻

BEHOLD—my Teiago fankid, Elias de Riva (plus an info dump about him and his parents below because I’m very normal abt them but you can skip that and jus look at all the art if you want 🫣)

Realistically, it’s really hard to imagine a scenario where these two have a kid. But that’s what fanart and hcs are for 🙌 As of right now, I hc that around the time of the dialog from one of the crows abt Teia and Viago being "on again" is when he's conceived. But they don't really find out until after the ending of Veilguard. Any symptoms Teia might experience beforehand are just written off as stress or straight up ignored because of how much they have on their respective plates with the Antaam and the gods. Viago even calls her out for never going home and insists she takes a contract to “kill a vacation.” So I don't think it'd be too far fetched for her to look the other way until things are settled in Treviso again because of timeline stuff.

No clue how they react after the initial news rn but that can come later. They start being a little less childish with their back and forth break-ups at least once the seriousness of it all sinks in lol

Viago did not like the idea at first, I know that much. Mans was STRUGGLING with Elias in the early stages. Babies are loud, unpredictable, often inconsolable little heathens that he can't analyze or have a consistent system for. It would drive him nuts. A tiny human who can't yet care for itself and constantly needs to be held and directed, paired with his touch-aversion, OCD, and need for set routines? Yeahhh…Teia understands, but on one hand that woman just went through 9 months of her own hell and she's shoving that boy into his arms sometimes regardless of his bad days LMAO

It helps, in the end. Pushes him to gradually get used to it over time. Viago starts to realize there is somewhat of a system to the whole dad thing and fatherhood grows on him because I said so.

He holds a lot of resentment and hatred towards his own father. As a bastard of the king and one of his drunk mistresses, I doubt Viago’s upbringing was too great. The whole “demon teeth” comment was enough to hint as such. He wouldn't be thrilled about taking care of a baby, but the thought of entrusting his son to nannies? Strangers?? No. That's something his dad would and did do and he’s better than him. This is his kid; He doesn't care if it's gross, he'd rather feel uncomfortable sometimes for the sake of Elias’s comfort than stoop as low as the king.

On top of spite, the paranoia with poison extends to Elias in a way; one of my favorite hcs I’ve seen is Viago being exposed to assassination attempts on the king or his mistresses/servants while he was growing up before joining the crows, whether it’s via stories or witnessing first hand. The thought of entrusting Elias’s life to anyone else gives him flashbacks to being a child himself, scared to eat or drink anything prepared by anyone because of how many times others were killed that way around him. Even doing extensive checks and handpicking a trustworthy nanny is not reliable and doesn’t guarantee safety. We love a paranoid dad.

Teia on the other hand? | think she'd like a family tbh. Maybe she didn’t react well to first finding out she was pregnant, but otherwise the idea grows on her quickly compared to Viago. As an orphan, she didn't get much of a family—the crows became her family, Caterina as her "nonna" and some of the older Talons as her weird uncles. Being able to experience what she never had with a child she can ensure has a good life feels fitting for her character. Heals a bit of her own inner child too, yk? 🫠 She’s such a caring woman despite her occupation and she’d make a good mother. Scary, but good LMSKSKX

Life as a crow is harsh. Being the child of not one but two Talons?? On one hand that kid is very protected but on the other he has a huge target on his back. If Viago was worried about people thinking House de Riva and House Cantori had an alliance, I can only imagine what a wholeass child would stir up. They both would prepare him well for the future in their own ways. It’s not canon to him, but the thought of Elias being ridiculously resistant to poisons because Viago started building his immunity up so young is funny to me 😭

Anyways ramble over. Some creative liberties were taken, such as his eyes being more golden like how Teia’s are described in Tevinter Nights. I may give Elias his curls back because he looks goofy next to Teia and Viago with his emo hair JAKAMC

I love their little family…

[becauseimswagman1]

Illusion vs Reality: When Did the Lines Blur?

Content Creator!Kelvin Harrison Jr. x Virgin!reader

--Reader is sick and tired of her family asking where her man at so she buys one--

A/N: this is a request! AND it's part 1 (idk what it is about breaking up fics into parts but I'm addicted! I get so caught up in the plot that I need to break it up). And boy when I say this spoke to me on a personal level, I mean it!

warnings: shenanigans are afoot.

-------------

Your family could be so mean sometimes. They constantly made you feel bad for not being like your older sister, married with children.

But you were only twenty-four, you had plenty of time to do all the things they wanted you to do… NOT! You wanted to live a little more than you already have… that literally just means losing your virginity. 

That’s right, a hot girl like you is still a virgin, by choice. You had a love-hate relationship with sex. Combine that with too many rom-com movies growing up, you wanted things to be special. But as growing up would have it, things were not like the movies. You were not a prude, but you never felt too comfortable with the guys you grew up with to take their time and not jackrabbit inside you. 

And by the time you turned eighteen, it seemed like everyone was getting their back broken! 

Now you weren’t a complete virgin though, you’ve done things like given blowjobs and sent nudes (of like your breasts and maybe an ass pic here and there). It’s just no one has touched you there, except yourself.

Fast forward to the big twenty-four and you’re more confident than you’ve ever been about everything except having sex. And that’s okay! Everyone moves at their own pace. 

It’s not like you never had the chance to do it either! You never trusted anyone enough AND once you got to the point with a guy where you’d tell them you’re a virgin, they either acted weird about it (“Oh you want me to be the first to tap that?”) or they wanted nothing to do with you (“I don’t know if I can be with someone that’s a virgin. I’m sorry.”). 

And with Thanksgiving coming up soon and no man in tow… you’re gonna be roasted alive by your family. But not this year! You were determined to figure something out. So you face-timed your bestie, Brianna. 

Thank God she answered for real, “Hey, Bri! I got a silly ass question.”

“Wassup girl?”

“How does one get a man in less than a month?”

“...You want a real relationship and not a situationship right?”

“Duh.” you thought that was kind of obvious.

“OH!” She laughed, “ Yeah girl that’s a silly ass question. Don't ask no shit like that again!”

“Whatever! You got an actual answer or what?”

Bri sat up in the camera, “You have a better chance at buying a man than getting one that’s not in it for sex in less than a month.”

You had an evil look on your face.

“Oh hell no! Don’t tell me you’re actually considering that shit?”

“I mean… I could! Just for Thanksgiving weekend.” It's not like you had a better idea.

She sighed, “I’m gonna trust you with this cause you gone do it anyway. Just make sure he’s a stand-up guy at least, girl.”

“Well, I kinda have someone in mind already.”

Brianna's eyes grew wide, “ALREADY?! You work too fast for me.”

You giggled, “I know. I’ll text you if it works?”

“Duh, girl! I gotta see how this plays out.”

You blew her a kiss, “Muah! Thank you again for the idea! And I love you!”

“I love you, too, girl!”

You hung up and opened your laptop. You really did have the perfect guy in mind.

—--------------------------

Kelvin Harrison Jr. The perfect guy’s name is Kelvin Harrison Jr. He’s an on-the-smaller side content creator with a super loyal fanbase. He’s become your internet crush. He’s so real (as real as the camera makes him look) and so damn funny! It wouldn’t hurt to shoot him an email with the proposition of being your fake boyfriend for a weekend, right?

--------------

taglist (comment to be added, dm to be removed): @gaydakiss @sharmelasworld @ayeeeitsmiracle @femdisa @luvrsluxe @papithetia @mzv11 @gg-trini

[lavender-butterfly-cookie]

https://www.tumblr.com/lavender-butterfly-cookie/773044782003011584/now-im-curious-how-cream-ferret-got-her-hands-on?source=share

Hey since you got list of y/ns...do you plan to do this idea or no? If not, I perfectly understand, there are so many y/ns lol!

Ok- Let's try to do this and NOT break my hand >:3 Might be my longest post yet, I won't lie. The things I do for y'all sometimes - -

How every Y/N met Cream Ferret cookie

The Twin Y/N's (Placeholder name for now will be the Yin Yang twins)

It had been several months since these two had a place to rest after escaping their witches home. To say that they were completely and utterly lost was an understatement. So lost and hungry that eventually Yin could go no further. In hopes of helping their twin, Yang settled them at a place to rest until they returned with food. It was in this short mission that they came across Cream Ferret cookie, Who seeing their condition, offered to help. The two went back for Yin and returned to Cream Ferret cookies house. At first, they thought they'd have to leave at some point. But Cream Ferret cookie, being the motherly cookie she is, took them in permanently. Eventually though, the twins moved out and lived with Original Y/N, who didn't live that far.

350 kilos Y/N

350 Kilos Y/N had been a traveler of sorts, Going to all sorts of places and having an adventurous time whilst doing so. However, without a place to stay, they had eventually exhausted themselves. They rested under a tree on a cold and cloudy night. To add onto their building exhaustion, it began to rain. Realizing they would eventually crumble, they went knocking on the first door they came across. And that door just so happened to be Cream Ferret cookies door. However, after the long journey, the cookie collapsed in front of the small ferret. When they woke up, they were in a comfy bed with new clothes. Cream Ferret cookie came in with hot tea and offered to let them stay. And they did, up until they realized they were a bit too strong for the house to withstand, even breaking things by accident. To take the load of their mothers shoulders, Original Y/N took them in.

Batman Y/N

A cold hero of the night, a wealthy cookie by the day. Do you think this came o be out of nowhere? Nope. Growing up as an orphan, Batman Y/N didn't have that many important people in his life. Up until he met Cream Ferret cookie. At first they tried to ignore her, believing her attempts of giving him care were futile. But eventually she got to him. His demeanor softened for the first time in years because of her. For this, he vows to protect her. And he's staying true to that vow. As long as crime exists, He'll be with her.

Frost Y/N

A cookie so cold on the outside, but warm on the inside, Frost Y/N never got out much. She didn't live with anyone in particular, spending her time roaming snowy places. Up until they found a fluffy cookie practically freezing to death. Feeling pity for the small cookie, she took them to a warmer place and tried aiding them, even despite knowing how the heat wears her out easily. Once the cookie regained consciousness, it was revealed that it was Cream Ferret cookie, looking for Frost Y/N. She offered to take them in, but they kindly declined and explained why. Disappointed, but determined, Cream Ferret cookie suggested a place for her to stay and where she could find her when she needed any assistance. Frost Y/N is forever grateful for such an act of kindness, always sending messages to Cream Ferret cookie whilst she resides with Frost Queen cookie

Merchant Y/N

Merchant Y/N was by far the easiest to get... technically. She simply had to find them, get to sign papers without them knowing what they were signing, reveal that she practically just adopted them, and badda bing badda boom. They were a bit iffy about it at first, but upon seeing how sweet and caring Cream Ferret cookie was being, they gradually caved in and settled with her. It was far better than sleeping in their shop. Plus, free food. Who's gonna say no to free food?

Child Ancient Y/N (Light of innocence)

After the Beasts were sealed away and the cookies of their kingdom abandoned them, CA Y/N had been all alone with not a soul to care about them. Up until a certain cookie came looking for them. When they met, CA Y/N was a bit scared at first. Their whole world just fell apart before them and they didn't know what to trust anymore. But their view was easily swayed and changed by Cream Ferret cookie and the amount of love she was willing to provide them with. It also didn't take much for them to cave in. Being alone had taken such a toll on them that when Cream Ferret cookie hugged them, they couldn't help but cry.

Child Beast Y/N (Shadow of grief)

In another timeline, where CA Y/N had lost it all and become a beast, a time rift opened. Of course, the child was scared and in tears (Literally oceans of them) But the cookie that stepped out seemed to pose no threat. In fact, they just yanked the child and pulled them into the rift before dropping them in a different timeline, which was right in front of a house. A small fluffy cookie walked up to the cookie in the time rift and pain them before they left. Scared and confused, CB Y/N Began to cry again, clouds slowly forming once more. But their cries came to a halt once Cream Ferret cookie popped a jelly into their mouths and ushered them into her house, where she comforted them and promised to love them no matter what. Obviously, with all the heartbreak this cookie endured, these words struck deep, and they immediately gave in to her promises.

Ancient Y/N (Light of patience)

After the dark flour war, Ancient Y/N disappeared, as did all the other ancients. But wouldn't you like to know, when they were on the verge of death in a crater created by their fall, a fluffy cookie is what saved their lives. They stayed with that fluffy cookie since then, vowing to protect her. Plus, Cream Ferret cookie saved their life.

Beast Y/N (Shadow of wrath)

In their new dark castle, Beast Y/N was alone. Aside from the Beasts imprisoned in their dungeon, of course. It was on a random day that they were visited by Cream Ferret cookie, who offered them something they've been needing for a long time. A break. Solace. Rest. And hearing that, Beast Y/N gave her a chance. Their castle is under the current care of Duck cookie, who's just there to make sure nothing crumbles.

Timid Y/N

This particular Y/N was having a bad day. They fumbled a lot and ended up tripping down the stairs, dropping the coffee (That was already a struggle to buy with how timid they were) in the process. They sat down at a bench, wondering how things could further escalate. And just when they thought it was over, it started to rain quickly. It was in that moment that Timid Y/N just broke down. They put their face in their hands and began crying up a storm (Pun unintended) However, the raindrops stopped falling upon them, and they looked up with teary eyes. A fluffy cookie stood in front of them, holding out a bagel. At first, Timid Y/N wasn't sure if they should accept it, but gradually took it, expressing their gratitude. Cream Ferret cookie offered them a place to stay, and after some hesitation, they accepted. Timid Y/N will never forget that day.

Ticklish Y/N

The cookies found a Y/N who was ticklish. And thus, a chase began. Ticklish Y/N had one goal and one goal only. ESCAPE. And they did, momentarily, by ducking into the first house they found and hiding under the desk. However, Cream Ferret cookie walked into the room with supplies to prepare it for the next Y/N to come and found them. She was welcoming, yes, but the moment she adopted him, she tickled him ruthlessly. Eventually, she sent him to live with Original Y/N, Both believing it was for the best.

Shy Y/N

This Y/N was found through a shop, to simplify it. They needed to buy themselves something to eat and pushed through their shyness just to get to this point. But OH how they absolutely hated it! So many people, so much noise, how were they gonna cope? They tried walking up to a stand, hands shaking more than ever. They tried ordering, but they're voice was drowned out by the noise. Oh how the noise was overwhelming them. The cookie behind the counter looked at them worriedly, asking if they were ok. But Shy Y/N couldn't respond. They felt everything closing in on them. They abruptly cancelled the unmade order and bolted, looking for anywhere that was clear. Their heart racing faster than it should've, their breathing quick and short. So much noise, too many people- Everything was closing in on them. They hid behind a stand and began crying, trying their hardest to recollect themselves. This was a mistake, they thought. But as they sobbed there in the shadows, a new aroma filled their sense of smell. They look up to see a cookie offering them freshly baked goods. They weren't sure how to react, but the cookie comforted them. They offered Shy Y/N a place to recollect themselves and they agreed. But that temporary getaway became a home overtime.

Isekai'd Y/N

After randomly being transported to the cookie world after Truck-kun decided to give 'em a big kiss, Isekai'd Y/N didn't actually have anywhere to stay. And despite how many cookies were willing to take them in, a little butterfly suggested a house they should try first. Only after knocking the door were they pulled in and adopted on the spot. Before they could even object, they were bribed with treats and love. And boom, thy began living with Cream Ferret cookie.

Baker Y/N

The same thing more or less happened to Baker.

Ghost Y/N

Whilst haunting a graveyard, the ghost stumbled upon a cookie. They tried jumpscaring them. But their mission came to an abrupt stop when they saw the cookie offer them ghost cookies and a cozier place to stay.

Thief Y/N

They broke into Cream Ferret cookie's house in hopes of stealing food. Hey, thieves need food too. And they were pretty well known so going to buy that food wasn't an option. But whilst they finished closing the window they came in through, they were bonked and went unconscious. Upon waking up, they realized they weren't tied up or in a cell, but rather in a cozy bed. Cream Ferret cookie walked in with a tray of food and offered them some. And from then on they stayed with the one cookie who managed to successfully stole their heart

Streamer Y/N

Whilst on a stream, a certain cookie paid them a buttload of coins to stay with them. It was WAYYYY too high a price to simply just ignore it. So they went through with it. And they never regretted it, because those coins couldn't compare to their newfound love for their mother.

Entity Y/N and Black Sun Y/N

The two stayed with each other in the forest, scaring and sometimes eating cookies who passed by. But their lives were very dull. So when they found a cookie who didn't fear them or try to hurt them, it was a surprise. The cookie, sweet as ever, offered them better living conditions along with love and affection. Both thought about it first, a bit iffy on the idea. But gradually gave in and decided to give Cream Ferret cookie a chance. Best choice they made.

Robot Y/N

Lavender was chilling until a fluffy cookie bust down her door holding up a robot design. She begged Lavender to make it. At first, Lavender was tired of making more Y/N's. But that cookie knows how to guilt trip and lets just say the robot was built shortly after. Cream Ferret cookie took it home and to this day she still doesn't know how Cream Ferret cookie managed to make that bot feel emotions.

Tarzan Y/N

Go jungle. Find wild Y/N. Give it love. Adopt it. Done.

Pure Lily cookie Y/N

Babysitting turned into mothering.

Deadpool Y/N

She didn't even adopt them, they just got out of the cookie jar, went to her place, stayed there and Cream Ferret cookie didn't let Lavender take them back.

Tired Y/N

She prayed. And Lavender delivered.

Military Y/N

After Military training concluded, it was none other than Cream Ferret cookie who took in this fine soldier. But they... were a bit too strict on the others. Leading her to sending them to Original Y/N. But it wasn't a problem, don't worry. Because considering what equipment Original Y/N already had, they'd be very occupied.

Meme Y/N

He kinda just... existed in her house and she decided to keep him. Yeah...

Cartoon Y/N

She actually didn't adopt this one. Original Y/N was watching tv and they fell out. The twin Yin Yang Y/N's were the one's who hung around them the most. Original Y/N just kept updating Cream Ferret cookie on how they were doing and she'd occasionally visit to see them in person.

Mother Of Pepper Pangolin Y/N

They don't know each other, and she's too old to be adopted.

[martiansodas-blog]

🎾 🤍💐✨🎀

standford!art who’s your best friend finds out no guy has ever hit your gspot before :(

“are you being serious?”

but it's so fuckin easy! he thinks

your cheeks get warm. you focus on the various hangnails you have instead of making eye contact.

“um...yeah.” you say quietly.

he immediately regrets having such a big reaction and scolds himself.

those rotten frat guys, they only care about one thing.

“hey, hey,” he touches your cheek and crouches a little so he's no longer towering over you. “i didn’t mean to embarrass you, sweetheart. it’s not your fault. they’re just inattentive."

“thanks.” you mutter with no expression in your voice.

he was too curious not to ask,

“have you ever found it by yourself?”

a laugh involuntary escaped.

“i’ve never tried.”

art fake pouts.

“you poor girl,” he coos, putting it on thick.

you scoff, but the heat in your cheeks only gets worse and you cant help but smile. he’s way too good at breaking your walls down, and he knew it

“i can show you, if you like.”

your body becomes unmoving.

"what?"

the most logical explanation you can think of is that he spoke a different language and it was lost in translation. because surely he wasn't offering what you think he was offering.

“what kind of friend would i be if i didn’t?”

he had that stupid smirk on his face.

“wait, you’re serious?? wha-”

he steps closer to you, close enough you can feel his body heat.

“we’ve always been closer than most friends, no?”

you shake your head.

“i mean, yeah, but that’s-“

his body goes stiff, eyebrows furrowed like that's the worst news you could've given him.

now he's the one shaking his head. his mostly blue eyes become fixed on the ground. he looked like a kicked puppy.

“that was a stupid idea. you're right. m'sorry. i don’t know why i brought it up."

he begins to walk off.

are you actually going to reject this offer from your insanely handsome best friend? half the girls at stanford would kill for this opportunity. and here it is, falling into your lap.

“wait!”

he wipes the smile off his face before turning around.

“yeah, uh… i’d like that.”

he breaks into a smile.

"really? i truly didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

there's still a frown gracing his features.

"you didn't! you didn't. i was just caught off guard. that's all."

"...okay" he smirks slightly.

"okay."

another awkward silence presents itself. what should you-

"come over to my dorm at 8 tonight. that is of course unless you want to do it at yours and risk your roommate catching a free peep show."

his sudden confidence caught you off guard. he's giving you whiplash at this point.

"uh, no. no. yours is great."

who the hell can afford a private dorm as a sophomore?

oh right. tennis champions...

before he goes, he kisses you on the cheek. the first of many that would occur that day. his lips are the perfect proportion for his face and they feel like being touched by a pink cloud.

3 hours later

''FUCK, art, please"

"aww, i know baby. no one can treat you like i can."

its relentless. the entire time. the top half of him babys you while the bottom half tries to leave an imprint.

you didn't know your back could arch this much.

"are you gonna cry from how good it is? poor girl."

and you do. saltwater flows down your cheek and he wipes it off and cradles your head, showing you some mercy.

"you can do it, babygirl. you can give me one more, cant you?"

you nod fervently. it wasn't even about orgasming (of which you've done twice) anymore it was about making him happy.

"yes," you pant "ill come for you, artie, shit hnnn."

once you started babbling you couldn't stop. he thought it was adorable, honestly. he's never made a girl dumb on his cock this quickly. you really needed it.

you're gonna be so fun to play with. he thought.

he pecked your cheek while coaxing you through it.

"atta girl, make my cock all creamy for me. you can do it."

you feel every muscle, no. every atom in your body relaxes. and where your bodies met was so warm and slick and art might slip if he's not careful.

"there you go" he whispered into your neck. "so beautiful. such a good girl, im so proud of you. knew you could do it."

you think he is peppering kisses across your face and chest but you cant will your eyes to open yet and every inch of your skin is tingling.

your semiconsciousness works to his advantage because he loves resting inside you. he could fall asleep just like this but you probably wouldn't like that.

he strokes your hair and stares at you while you recover. he wants to let you fall asleep right away but knows that's not wise.

"c'mon, angel," he says softly as he scoops you up. "lets get you cleaned up."

[plumeria1]

Happy Birthday Powder

Note : I wanted to publish it for Jinx's birthday but I couldn't wait until October 10th.

Masterlist

Pairing: Timebomb Powder x Fem Reader

Content: Fluff, angst (I'm not sure if it's angst) timebomb au

Warning: None

Summary: It's Powder's birthday and you got a surprise for her

It was Powder's birthday today, and everyone at the Last Drop had been there to wish her well. Mylo and Claggor had done the decorations, Vander took care of the drinks, and Silco handled the meal.

But it was Ekko who had been tasked with the hardest part of the day: keeping Powder away from the bar until everything was ready. You would have gladly taken his place, but you had to finish the surprise you had made for her.

Powder had been very happy to see what everyone had done for her and had spent the entire afternoon talking with her friends and family.

When it was time to receive her gifts, she had been spoiled by everyone, with new tools, notebooks to jot down all her ideas, and many other things.

The only gift she hadn't received yet was yours.

-It's not here.

That was what you had told her, and since then, she had been trying to guess, but no one wanted to give her a clue; she was too smart, and would have surely figured it out very quickly.

Once the cake was blown out, you still wondered where Silco could have found that all-blue cake covered in edible glitter. After the meal was finished, everyone said goodnight and went home.

There was only you and Powder left. You got up from your chair and extended your hand to her, which she took with joy.

-Come on, it’s time for your surprise.

You walked to your hideout, but before entering, you covered her eyes with your hands to maintain the element of surprise.

-Watch where you're stepping.

-Maybe I would see where I’m going if you took your hand away from my eyes, don't you think?

Powder couldn’t see you, but she knew you, and knew that you had just rolled your eyes.

-I already know where we are, why don’t you want to tell me anything?

Sometimes she was really too curious, but that was why you loved her.

-Because it’s a surprise.

All you hoped was that it would make her happy. You would have felt guilty if it made her sad. You continued to move her forward, being careful not to let her get too close to the edge.

She smiled when you made her stop, realizing that you had arrived.

-You ready?

-Come on, take your hands off.

She was eager to know what you had done for her. She squinted a little, letting her eyes adjust to the light, and smiled upon seeing the fairy lights and the chairs you had set up. You had created a real cozy little nest in that unused part of her hideout that she had never known how to use.

-That’s awesome!

With a big smile, she stepped forward to hug you and thank you, but you gently pushed her away, making her furrow her brows.

-Look further.

She noticed that she hadn't seen everything and approached. She remained silent in front of what she saw. A small table was set up against the wall, on it were candles and incense that had never been lit. There were also some of the little things she had made over time and her stuffed rabbit.

However, it was the center of the table that caught her attention the most: there was a portrait of her sister, Vi, just as she had seen her for the last time.

You had approached her while she was sitting on the floor, facing the table.

-Ekko painted it. I know you miss her, so I thought with this you could have her with you whenever you want.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a tear rolling down her cheek.

-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad. It might not have been a good idea to do that.

You lowered your head. Making Powder cry was the last thing you wanted, especially on her birthday. But you were surprised to feel her wrap her arms around you.

-I think it's the best gift I've received. Thank you.

She didn’t say anything else, just contented herself with holding you while looking at Vi's portrait with a smile. You kissed the top of her head and held her in your arms in return.

-Happy birthday, Powder.

[nordicfiord]

Do you have any other dynamics between the voices that you like,besides Cold and Contrarian?

Love your art,by the way,especially Contrarian!I love how soft and puffy he looks!

Ohhh, thanks for the question! And thanks for the kind words!! Have another Contrarian – he is pretty sure his friendship with anyone would be good!

it also would consist of bullying half the time but if everyone is content that it can lead to some of the best friendships out there!

And now… IT’S RUMBLING TIME!!

tldr: I am semi-interested in most dynamics, but am currently obsessed with just one. Crossovers and AUs make dynamics more fun for me to think about because of backgrounds.

So! Voices, huh? What a wild bunch.

I love those little guys. I love that mostly here at the stp fandom we are just interpreting them through our own lenses of understanding – through our own perspectives. It is very fitting, and it allows all of us to view these dynamics in many, many different situations.

Honestly, my brain is a mess. It is a giant cauldron, where everything at once is boiling and twisting and turning. That’s why everything is mixing up into lots of crossovers and weird ideas. 

Can I say that I like voices dynamics in canon? Sure! I like that one Adv-Fury route with Stubborn and Contrarian having the “I may not have a brain, gentlemen, but I have an idea” moment. I like that Hero tried to stand up for us in Cage and Paranoid helped Skeptic to insist on his solution by “physically” restraining him?? What a power move. Pretty much every interaction between voices is something interesting to think about, honestly.

But, uhh…

My brain just chose two random clowns and said “Them. I wanna rotate them.”

Honestly I don’t even know why he (my brain) did it. Maybe he just projected my favourite dynamic (clown and clown enabler). But I like other dynamics too??? Why not them???

Genuinely don’t know.

BUT!

Remember I talked about AUs, crossovers and stuff? Those are bigger dollhouses for my brain. There he can assign some dynamics to characters and watch them unfold.

Examples? Sure!

Skeptic being “the mom friend”. Originally it went from the need to have anyone that could control ContraColdChaos. But when I thought about putting voices in my old Steven Universe AU (I will talk about it here I swear it is just too much to unpack….), it all just made so much more sense. Because there Skeptic was the one responsible for revolution and leaving their home world, ended up on an unknown planet with some very troubled teammates (traumatised disabled leader, “I-died-so-many-times-I-can’t-be-stable” general, repeated killer of said general, army refugee and a high-quality spy) and he HAD to take responsibility and make sure nobody dies. Also that created a very interesting dynamic with Hero, because Hero is basically a young abused ruler who doesn’t believe he has any autonomy… and here Skeptic is, his subordinate, who literally is making all the decisions. Like, it’s clear that Skeptic cares and wants the best for Hero… but he is pretty much adding to a family emotional neglect.

And there’s more. Opportunist feeling like he owes Smitten for saving his life. Cold and Skeptic trying to process that they’ve killed and revived the very same person. Smitten being this person and trying to live a normal life with his murderer and resurrector in the same home.

I guess I just… Can’t operate inside of the canon universe with the little outside influence there is?

Maybe in my head-universe, when TLQ left, he left the voices a big fun playground, where they can put various masks and play many, many different stories. They need something to occupy their “forever” too, after all.

Anyway thanks if you’ve read this far!! I appreciate it, really. Sorry if it’s not uhh… organized? Like I said, my mind really is a mess, haha.

Have a nice day everyday!~

[xf-cases-solved]

a+ addition and a+ photo set edit. they are so respectful of one another. even when they're fighting with each other, they're respectful. the first things we hear either of them say about the other is positive. scully saying he was the best behavior profiler in the vcu, and mulder telling her he read and liked her thesis. (you could argue that he was being slapstick and dismissive, but you'd be wrong, bc years later that mother fucker quotes her thesis off the cuff at her to prove a point, i fully believe that the porn folder on his computer is just a pdf of "einstein's twin paradox: a new interpretation")

[i had to go back and add a read more after i finished this bc i ended up rambling for 84 years again, my b]

and you're so right about them both defying the other's expectations. this episode shows how mulder is totally willing to accept it with grace, and even admiration, when she proves him wrong, like how he tells her, "you were right," when they catch tooms in the parking garage after he argued he wouldn't come back there, or later when she's berating him for being so Extra™️ with the other agents, he's like, "maybe i thought you caught the right guy [and wanted to be thorough in my investigation as a result]"

and scully obviously defies his just by standing by him. i think it's also probably extremely meaningful to him that at NO point does she ever join in on the "playful" bullying of him. not just in this episode, but ever. it's like you said. SHE can tell him he's fucking insane, but the second someone else does she is ready to throw down. and mulder fully knows the difference between scully's, "i respect your intelligence and think very highly of you, but the words that came out of your mouth go so far beyond my scientific worldview that i have no choice but to point out that you are fucking bonkers," vs everyone else's "ha ha, spooky mulder and his silly aliens and his career he ran into the ground"

idk man. i think that in addition to just mutually recognizing the intelligence the other possesses, and having a shared need for truth and justice, they also are exactly what the other needs in terms of their insecurities

mulder wins scully's heart by treating her as an equal from day one. even when he was suspicious of her, he never once insinuated she was lesser due to her gender, and in fact just immediately assumed she would understand complex topics. like in his slideshow where he has that chemical compound? he put that in there as a "gotcha!", except in order for it to be a "gotcha!" he had to have just deduced that she would be smart enough to read and understand that there was something wrong with it. he didn't trust her, but he never once doubted her intelligence, and as soon as he realized she was on his team he instantly started to check in with her and take the time to consider everything she had to say, even when they were in disagreement, and he just like. never stopped doing that. he's still doing that to this day

and scully won mulder's heart in a very similar way, like you said. she, too, has never doubted mulder's intelligence the way everyone else does. the reason she gets so "🙄😒🤬" at him when he says ridiculous things is bc she knows for a fact that he's brilliant. and he adores the fact that she actually challenges him in a way that matters. how many times has she said the words "for the sake of argument, let's assume xyz"? no matter how impossible she thinks his theory is, she is always willing to at least play in the sandbox with him (often in order to point out his flaws in logic, but hey, she's still playing). he literally tells her, verbatim, that her doing so SAVED him. she is a deeply principled person, with a firm belief in science, but she is willing to entertain his ideas, giving him someone to intellectually challenge him and make him be better, without ever making him feel inferior. (and! and!! the trust she puts in him? i'm thinking specifically of "folie á deux," where she shows him that, when it comes down to it, she will put her trust in him above her ingrained principles as a scientist. that? that has to mean the world to mulder, who values truth and trust more than anything else)

i have completely lost the plot here. i think this post used to be about "squeeze"? who knows. my adhd meds wore off hours ago, bro, i don't even know if i have a point besides that they are equal parts complementary to and foils for one another, and it makes for the most intense, enduring love story ever to be on network television, or anywhere else for that matter. they invented soulmates

and also they both desperately need therapy, but that's a different post altogether ✌🏽 😘

today we are sitting in our office at 6 in the morning thinking about...

that scene in "squeeze" that everyone knows by heart, where mulder asks scully, "do you think i'm spooky?" and it's very cute and weirdly sexually charged like all of their interactions are, but also that scene is really important to their character development actually??

this is episode three, and with the understanding that these two are unhinged and kind of speedrun the whole "i would die for you, you're everything to me, you jump i jump, etc" thing, ostensibly they're still getting to know one another, and, more importantly, mulder's still trying to gauge if scully is hashtag legit. like, his gut tells him that, yes, for some reason the fates aligned and made it so the shadow government fucked up real bad and actually sent him an ally instead of an enemy (and also she's not hard on the eyes either, just sayin'), and also she held a security operative at gunpoint for him just one episode earlier, so i think by this point he does genuinely trust that she doesn't have a secret agenda

what he is LESS certain of, however, is whether or not she is going to want to stick around once she fully understands just what a fucking bummer it is to be fox fucking mulder, resident hoover building loser. like she is this literal genius agent and medical doctor, who's professional and hot and kind, and she could easily have an extremely promising career ahead of her, and he doesn't think she understands just how detrimental it is for her to go all in with him. and this case, with these by-the-book buddies of hers, is the first time they are really facing that issue head on

going back to the aforementioned scene, mulder is testing her. through that whole bit, he's testing her. ("why didn't they ask me about the case?" "bc they're my friends and they're more comfortable with me" "why would i make them uncomfortable?" "bc of your reputation" "rEpUtAtIoN?? who has a reputation???") like he is trying SO hard to get her to stop talking around the issue and just say "they think you're a fucking freak, mulder," which ofc she won't, which is why, when she gives him the perfect set up with, "they think your theories are..." he IMMEDIATELY swoops in and asks, "spooky?"

and then he looks her in the eye and asks, "do you think i'm spooky?"

and he says it in his joking tone, but i fully believe that there is a genuineness there. he already knows before talking to colton and his cronies how the conversation is going to go, and he doesn't care, bc he doesn't care about their opinions, but he DOES care about her opinion, and i think that scares him. i think it's been a very, very long time since he last gave a shit about what someone thought of him, and he's extremely uncomfortable. i think that's why he goes so hard just seconds later with the straight faced "aliens are actually grey" thing with colton. he doesn't do it to taunt colton, or for his own amusement, but bc he wants to show scully flat out, "this is what they think of me, and this is how i am going to act in response. can you handle it? can you handle being a social pariah? or do you think i'm spooky?"

the theme comes up repeatedly in this episode, actually. he outright admits to being territorial over her, but in the same breath gives her permission to work on the case with colton instead of him, bc he KNOWS what a shit meal she's been served by the fbi, pairing them up together, but then she's like, "hmmm, idk, i think you must know more than you're saying and i wanna know what it is," and he is so delighted, bc not only does it mean that she's really committed to finding the truth, not just closing the case as fast as possible, but it also means that she's choosing him over them, and that N E V E R happens

but later in the episode he also makes the remark about how in thirty years she'll be "head of the bureau," which is another peek into his mind grapes, showing us that he's still very stuck on this idea that working with colton & friends is going to make her suddenly come to the realization of "oh wait, what am i DOING with this loser??" he's afraid of that happening, and he's afraid about the fact that he's afraid of it in the first place, and bc this is mulder and scully we're talking about, and neither of them are physically capable of saying what they're feeling, he just keeps making jokes and quips and being a dick to colton (who deserves it, but still), bc the alternative is admitting to scully, "hey, i really like your company and would kind of really very much like it if you didn't leave me for the cool kids agents," and he's not going to do that. not just bc of the vulnerability aspect, but bc he would view it as selfish, bc he fully believes that being stuck with him is bad for her (lol i wonder if that will become a theme throughout the entire series ha ha)

but anyway, turns out his worries are unfounded, bc it turns out scully will take being mrs. spooky over climbing the career ladder any day

"do you think i'm spooky?"

"no, i think you're a fucking nerd, now shut up get me my own desk. if we push them together we can play battleship, and then later we can get to know each other carnally"

or something

they're in love, your honor

this is only episode THREE

unhinged

[i-like-cats-and-stars49]

Thingy I drew in class on our school tablets while I definitly should have been doing something else

[dykedvonte]

wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment

Thank you and this is what I want to get across.

A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.

I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.

He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.

He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.

Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?

Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.

[theokusgallery]

I hate that I have reoccurring themes in everything I make. YES this guy has a complex over the fact that everyone prefers his sibling AGAIN. YES he was ostracized by his peers since he was in primary school and never knew why until years later. URGH

[vibingforjudaism]

I need a therapist who I can argue with and who will give me jewish advice ....a rabbi. I need a rabbi

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos