#Where Kindness Grows
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geralts-yenn · 2 years ago
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“I don’t rightly know. But what I do know is that I want to be with you every chance I get. I want to talk to you every waking moment. I want to go on walks with you. I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss you good morning and goodnight. And if you give me your permission to court you, I’d like to try figuring out how to go about doing it.”
Sy asking Seraphina for permission to court her is just so awfully cute 🥰
@rmtndew I think you get it by now, I really love this story. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Also, that header! 👀 That hands and the suspenders 🥺😍 This does things to me 😁
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Where Kindness Grows
Chapter 5
Summary: The Great Depression took its toll on a lot of people and some had to get creative to survive. Seraphina’s father decides his solution is to sell his only daughter to a much older man. But when Sy overhears a conversation about the young woman, he makes a decision that will change his life - and Seraphina’s - forever.
(An arranged marriage AU with Captain Syverson)
Pairing: Sy and OFC Seraphina
Rating: PG
Warnings: Slight mentions of past parental abuse, discussions of death.
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16
Tag List Round 1 - @hollydaisy23​, @onlyhenrys​, @omgkatinka​, @lawfulgranola​, @gearhead66​,  @thethirstyarchive​, @oddsnendsfanfics​, @littlerinoa​, @agniavateira​, @aaescritora​, @justaboringadult​, @beenthroughalot​, @seriouslygoodlookinggents​, @xxxkatxo​, @musicartmayheminmyheart​, @lilliannaansalla​, @dashingcavill, @mariestark​, @summersong69​, @sugarpenchant​, @ruthoakenshield​, @rn7rocks, @feralrunaway​, @mzchievous-blog​, @kmuir1​, @the-space-between-heartbeats, @thereisa8ella​, @daddys-littlewhitegirl​, @jaded808​, @secretlywriting​, @princesssterek​, @witcherfan​, @the-problem-of-leisure​, @inlovewithhisblueeyes​, @amberangel112​, @eldarwen333​, @mary-ann84​, @legendarywizarddetective​, @vikingsbifrost​, @sanjaaaaaaa​, @mrsshiddleston​, @batgurl1989​, @absolutepie, @wonderlandfandomkingdom​, @elena-myth, @mis-lil-red​, @stxlemate​, @tuckersgirl​, @excalibur22​, @diegos-butt​, @missredherring​, @coloraturadiva​, @that-chick212​, @momowhoo​, @nothingbettertosay81​, @goatboats​, @radkesgirl83​, @n-st-lg-cb-tch (IF YOU’RE CROSSED OUT IT WON’T LET ME TAG YOU)
If you’d like to be added/removed, just let me know! 
The next day I was sitting on a blanket near the garden, stretched out under the morning sun as I tilted my head back, watching thick cottony clouds roll through. But I wasn’t paying those clouds any mind, instead I was looking through them at the bright blue sky. It was the same blue as Sy’s eyes. My favorite color. I couldn’t recollect when it changed, I’d always loved yellow the most, but somewhere along the way that color meant a little bit more to me than just pretty yellow. It represented happiness and feeling safe and being cared for. It was only a color and yet it felt far more than that.
Weiterlesen
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starry-bi-sky · 4 months ago
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Out of Context Stuff for a Danyal Al Ghul au i haven't posted - Pit Beast Danyal
Damian, 13: Look, Danyal, -- I am so sorry for everything that happened between us in the League, I hope you can forgive me.
Danny, 10 (allegedly): (has been secretly plotting to murder Damian this whole time, is still gonna do it obvs, but is going to make it significantly less painful now)
Danny: I-- of course, older brother. :]
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Bruce: what do you have there, Damian?
Damian:
Danny: (a hulking 10ft pit beast standing beside him, growling idly with ram horns gouging out his eyes and a second set of horns jutting into the air, spines down his back, and a long, spiked tail with an animalistic, skull-like face)
Damian, who smuggled him in (they've made amends): a smoothie, father
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Damian: this is my little brother Danyal, i murdered him when he was five. He festered in rage for the last half-a decade, took over a League mountain base in Switzerland, murdered everyone inside and then tried to murder me when I went to investigate with Drake.
Danny: hello!
Damian: we're cool now
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Damian: thoughts on resurrection
Danny, (a full ghost): i will succeed in murdering you if you try it
Damian: we'll put a pin in it then
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Danny (still instilled with League values): why don't we just murder him??
Damian, on patrol (Danny followed him): we don't murder people, Danyal
Danyal:,,,,are you sick, Dami?? Have you been possessed? Why not!?
(There is raucous laughing through the comms)
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Danny, five, pre-death: Dami! :D
Danny, dead, vengeful: Older brother (:
Danny, post-forgiveness: Dami! :]
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For some actual context: Danny is fully dead in this au, its a result of the classic DPxDC Demon Twins "death duel" trope but instead of Danny getting revived, he stays fully dead. Danny was five, Damian was seven. His ghost lingered though, and due to the proximity of the pits his ghost steadily absorbed the ambient energy it was letting off. The pits are not corrupted ectoplasm in this au, it's just liquid ecto.
Which means Danny's corruption from an angry and hurt little ghost boy to an unrecognizable monster is from his own doing. It's a result of him stewing in his hurt and anger for years, it physically warped him. He's very powerful. Danny can travel between League Bases but chose a small, out-of-the-way base in the Swiss mountains to fester in and then just. Never Left.
His influence steeped into the very foundations of the building, allowing him to transform and warp the rooms and hallways for his own bidding, Meaning he could turn it into a seemingly unending labyrinth if he so wished to, and block the entrance.
Eventually, blinded (both metaphorically and physically) by his own rage, Danny grew powerful enough to appear physically in the living realm and attacked everyone in the base, slaughtering them all and leaving the base abandoned. He attacks anyone who dares enter -- whether that be other league members, or the unfortunate hiker who stumbled across the base. His conscious is steeped into every nook and cranny of the building, there is nowhere you can hide where he can't find. Nobody leaves without his explicit say so. Nobody ever does.
Him appearing as ten years old before Damian in the skits above is his own physical doing. First it was to prevent Damian from being suspicious of him. Damian initially thought Danny was revived with the pits, he was too busy with his own training afterwards to notice that Danny never showed up again, and when he did notice, he assumed it was because Danny was too ashamed of his loss to face him. He'd always forget to ask about him.
Then it becomes a personal choice to appear as ten. It's how old he would've been had he been alive.
danny forgiving Damian is kinda for an offshoot branch of the main au. Whereas the main au takes the form of a ps4 first person horror game where Damian and Tim are investigating the Base for Plot Reasons. There's no sign of the rumored "monster" living inside until the end, where Danny, who was found inside the Base and has been happily "helping" them look around, manages to persuade Damian into splitting off from Tim in order to "show him something."
This something turns out to be Danny revealing that he never really forgave Damian for that fight, and he reveals through a horrifying transformation, that he was the monster the whole time. Which the game subtly hints at throughout as Danny's strange behavior becomes harder to ignore.
First from his insistence to only refer to Damian as "older brother" (when before the duel he always called him Damian or Dami), to him right off the bat denying the existence of a monster when questioned. ("There's no monster here, older brother. It's just me.") To other various things, like his knowledge of the outside world not matching up to modern times or things going on with the league outside of the base, or what happened to the other league members.
This whole idea was inspired by the song "Scylla" from Epic the Musical, with Danyal being the voice of Scylla as well as Odysseus, while Damian stands as Eurylochus. The instrumentals after Scylla says "hello" is him turning into the pit beast, and Scylla's "drown in your sorrow and fears" part is danny, as the pit beast, snarling at Damian while he attacks him.
There's a Good Ending, a Bad Ending, and a True Ending. The Bad Ending results in Damian being killed by Danny, it happens when Damian decides not to question or suspect Danny and treats him kindly. The Bad Ending is a cutscene, where Danny kills Damian quick and painlessly.
Meanwhile the Good Ending is Damian killing Danny. This is a boss fight, and it happens when Damian treats Danny coldly and suspiciously the whole time. Danny as a result, decides to make Damian's death painful as he had planned to, which is why it's a boss fight because it only causes him to double down on his anger.
The True Ending is Damian escapes with Tim. It happens when you treat Danny warmly up until the last minute, where when Danny proposes to Damian that he wants to show him something, Damian goes to talk to Tim and finally, reluctantly agrees that something is off with Danny, and that he'll be careful going in. It starts off with the boss fight until a third through, where it then changes to a cutscene where Tim manages to get the door open and Damian escapes out. It's then a chase scene down a never-ending hallway as the building actively works to keep you trapped inside. But you eventually make it to the exit so long as you avoid all the projectiles and doors.
Remember when I mentioned that Danny only lets people leave when he wants them to? That's where the treating Danny kindly throughout the game comes into play. It causes him to second guess himself and, eventually, reawaken and strengthen the love and admiration he had for Damian prior to his murder. It's why in the Bad Ending he kills Damian quickly -- because by then, he loves him enough that he doesn't want him to suffer, but is still so consumed by his rage and need for vengeance that he kills him anyways. That quiet part is what allows Damian (and Tim) to find the exit, because some part of Danny still loves Damian enough that he wants him to live.
The True Ending ends with a cutscene of Damian and Tim tumbling out into the snow/grass outside of the base. Damian looks up back to the entrance to see Danny standing there. But rather than a ten year old boy, there's a little five year old Danyal Al Ghul instead. He stares at Damian emotionlessly, blood seeping from his chest, staining his clothes, and little, bloody sword in his hands and tearstains on his cheeks, before he turns away and disappears back into the building.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#danyal al ghul au#danny phantom#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#pit beast danny#danyal al ghul#dpxdc au#damian and danny forgiveness route is kinda like a post-true ending idea where damian decides to return to the base and find a way to help#danny.#and also because nobody in that fucking family processes grief in any kind of sane way he is also plotting a way to resurrect his dead#brother with the lazarus pits. he just needs to find where he was buried. and also hopefully get danny's permission. he's gonna do it anywa#but it'll be nicer if danny agrees to it beforehand. that way danny isn't angry with him when he eventually revives him#also if tim dies at any point during the game you have to restart to your last save point. there's not many opportunities for him to becaus#danny is honestly not that interested in him but its still there. some details for the game: danny's pit beast model has the highest#resolution out of everything there. meanwhile his human model has the lowest. he also lacks a shadow and his voice carries a strange echo#that's subtle enough to sound like an accidental audio mistake. his voice gets more warped as the good ending progresses and becomes more#human during both the true and bad ending. it indicates his forgiveness and growing care for damian. while in the good ending he gradually#grows more pissed.#danny has shit eyesight as a result of his eyes being gouged out for years. but since he's literally one with the building he doesn't#need any help walking through it. he can travel it with his eyes closed. if he's anywhere else though he needs to be holding onto something#he also has one eye covered in bandages in his ten year old form because he can't get that eye to heal and look human.
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stonebutchery · 5 months ago
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it's kind of baffling to me that entire sub-groups of queer folks endured a decade of being singled out and targeted for being asexual, aromantic, bisexual, pansexual, nonbinary, polyamorous, etc. and i have yet to see any substantial apologies from people who were directly responsible for causing genuine harm. i find it completely bizarre that there are so many people who want to sweep their past contributions to widespread lateral aggression toward specific queer groups under the rug like it didn't happen so they can wash their hands of it... there are people who are irreversibly traumatized because of this. there are people who took their lives because of it.
i'm wording the post like despite the fact that exclusionism targeting these groups (and more) continues to persist partly because it was a really frighteningly common trend to harass people just because they were ace, aro, bi, pan, nonbinary, poly, etc... and it's crazy to me that many of the people who were affected by this massive multi-pronged public online bullying campaign against the 'unacceptable types of queers' are the ones still receiving messages like "my url got put on an aphobe blocklist in 2016 because apparently a post i made making fun of asexuals got some teenage asexuals harassed and i still distrust asexuals to this day because of that" ...are you fucking kidding me?
we will never achieve any kind of unity as a queer community while we are insisting upon ignoring the hurt that lateral aggression has caused, and acting like the burden lies on the shoulders of the people who were harmed to forgive the people who harmed them and 'just move on', many of whom are not sorry for what they did! or they don't consider what they did to be wrong! how is that not deeply disturbing and troubling to more of you?
03/06/2024 edit: i’m putting a complete moratorium on this post because i am really sick and tired of having my point not only completely misconstrued and distorted entirely but also weaponized against transfems (particularly in replies i have decided to delete about how “ugh yes, exclusionism, and now transfems are bullying transmascs”) i find that really sickening and i’m demanding that it stop, and i can make it stop by turning off reblogs. so i have.
my objective in writing this post was never to request an apology from people who have been laterally-aggressive exclusionists in the past. i don’t think we’ll ever get more than a handful of apologies from those people, anyway. my point was that it was pretty terrifying to witness and experience a lot of lateral aggression that transferred from the real, in-person world to the deeply online spaces back into the real, in-person world in a really fucked up feedback loop and being a young queer person during this time and having that shape me, snd shape the experiences of my queer friends who have been traumatized by it.
however, it is absolutely unacceptable to me that the issue of transmisogyny is so blatantly overlooked by our entire community. for decades, transfems have experienced oppression and exclusion from transmisogyny-exempt women and queers. their exclusion from political queer liberation movements has caused many of the major schisms within our community we are still having arguments about to this day. if you want collective queer liberation, you must uplift transfems. there is no other option. you don’t get to write off all transfems just because one person who happened to be transfem was mean to you online or something.
i have answered and responded to way too many conspiracy-brained transmisogynist reactionaries to allow this post to keep fucking snowballing with people writing paragraphs in the tags about “transmisandry” or “transandrophobia.” please get your heads out of your asses.
this absolutely is the transmisogyny website, as always, and the place where all basic textual comprehension skills go to die, apparently.
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silusvesuius · 4 months ago
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baby👶 drawings. these are very dear to me rn.. 2nd pic is my Nelavis with @barvin0k's Varonur 🩵 last one is a baby bosmer and snow elf, hairiest of them all. although the bosmer was meant to be my girl Barletta too lols
#tes#skyrim#my art#oc#nelavis#barletta#😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔 babies are so sweetum ugh my heart is crumbling rn#referenced some anne g*ddes stuff for dis#i call them snow elves instead of falmer like g*lebor would want me to#i never really get to talk about my elf anatomies at length cus i'm lazy but i sprinkled some info in the first pic#altmer society is EugenicsLand so you could only tell if your child has 'good' traits when they hit puberty#ex. height and shoulder width is something very important to them#if you don't have those traits ur pretty much a failure#other elves have it easier 🤓#idk i still might make some kinda infographic for the way i picture them but umm maybe not who knows#on snow elves and bosmer the fur is still 'confused' when they're in baby stage and is pretty much everywhere#it evens out w/ age and stays on the back; neck; sides of face the most and in places where human body hair wud be#idk ummm..and i think all elves grow their nails out unless they're very intertwined with humans in their life#ex. my snelf elisif; she has her nails trimmed to be regarded as more human i guess#nails are most important to altmer tho and might be a status symbol of some kind... they like using them in combat too#it's shameful for an altmer to not have long nails for any reason but there can be exceptions#like my el*nwen that can't physically grow nails out because of burn injury#so she has fake ones on her combat gloves#it's cute#elf nails aren't as frail as human nails and are more like an animals claws (corny) but bosmers' are the sturdiest#and their nails are curved in shape. for U know. Climbing and stuff#cause dunmer and altmer etc. have straight nails. they can hit the nail salon
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hypokeimena · 4 months ago
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i literally don't understand why all golf courses are green. when i was a kid i assumed that golf courses in different places reflected the natural environment in those spots and that that's why golf travel tourism was a thing. like maybe you wanted to go play a xeriscaped course in arizona or whatever. when i realized that people were traveling across the country or world to totally different natural environments to play an identical game that looks identical to what they had at home i simply did not understand it conceptually. and honestly i still don't.
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elllteo · 2 months ago
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That voice has taught you wrong.
You can't outrun yourself, you can't guilt yourself away until you are left with someone "good".
You can't cut away a shadow, it will follow where you go.
You can't treat yourself like a solvable problem.
You are unfixable.
You were never broken to begin with.
Just taught wrong.
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hoarding-stories · 10 months ago
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Going wild about how each chapter shows a different facet of horror
The circle of Vassal and Veil: horror in the environment.
A classical look at things, there are forces in this world beyond your understanding, they will chew you up and spit you out. See them, know them, survive them, adapt to them.
The circle of Needle and Thread: horror in humanity
Really powerfully done, a showing in how people can be horrifying, do horrible things to each other with the most human of reasons. Nothing beyond our ken is necessary for true horror to take place.
The circle of Tide and Bone: horror in the self
Rather complex and with a sprinkling of cosmic flavoring there but, where did you start? Where will you end? It is always a rough road and how will you change, be changed? What will you lose, what will you give up? What parts of yourself are worth the losing if it means you get a step closer to what you want, what you need. Who are you, if not for the people and things you care about, what happens to you when they're gone, how far will you go in their absence? Will you look back and see the person you were as someone entirely different, something in you twisted, lost? Will it have been worth it? The horror in change and the fact that you cannot go backwards to the way things once were.
Cannot wait to see what the Circle of the Crimson Mirror has to offer
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rystiel · 1 month ago
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i feel like a fish swimming against the current in a river of angst enjoyers as someone who wants to make those characters happy for once
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bonesblubs · 1 year ago
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I’ll never get over that it took just one strangers small moment of kindness to change Xie Lians path. All of the suffering he went through, all of the despair, the disillusionment, all not forgotten or even forgiven, but reconciled. All because one person, not Hua Cheng, not family, not his ex friends, not his people, reached back to him when he’d been starting to lower his own hand in defeat. It’s possibly my favorite and most meaningful part of TGCF for me, because for me it stops being about these two guys who were meant for each other and were impossibly lucky enough to have found each other, and becomes a story about a person who had lost his way in his world so thoroughly that he lost himself, only to be found and put back on his feet by that same world that he mourned so terribly. His world stops being a concept of scale of numbers, black and white, good and bad, and becomes about the individual. What he can do to help individuals, the connections he can make with them. Their histories, their names, their faces. Inside each person is it’s own world. He’d been knocked off his pedestal, and the fall hurt to the point of breaking. But now that he’s risen to his feet, he’s able to look all these people in the eye, and they’re so much taller than he’d seen before.
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shallowseeker · 3 months ago
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I'm breaking this one out by itself because it's a little funny.
*Dean's phone rings*
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*Dean answers without looking*
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*Dean proceeds to yell at Cas*
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Ah, right. What could possible be so important?
/////
Sam goes on to tell Dean that *drumroll* Sam is Lucifer's true vessel.
WOW! Scary!
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DEAN: *sarcastically* Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh Sammy? SAM: That's it? That's your response?
It's... completely lost of Sam, though, the REASON for Dean's sarcasm.
See. It's this: now that Sam's found out that HE'S a vessel, he's in his car, an absolute FIRE lit under his goddamned tail, EAGER to get back in and fight.
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Sam.
SAMMY.
🤦🤦🤦🤦
Dean throws a hint.
DEAN: *sarcastically again* I guess I'm a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point. SAM: Well what are we gonna do about it?
And Sam... still doesn't get it.
Sigh.
Here's the thing. Sam wasn't panicking when they learned that Dean was a vessel. Only Cas and Bobby were panicked and stressed. They were mean, but they were at least aware of the reality of things.
But Sam.
Yes, Sam was going through things, struggling with things, and taking time to go through things is okay. But on the other hand, it definitely still hurts that Sam wasn't insisting on staying in the fight on Dean's behalf, to protect Dean from becoming a vessel.
But now that Sam's learned that he's a vessel?
Boom.
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It's not even that, though. It's this whole conversation.
Because what's missing here? Empathy for Dean's plight.
Sam doesn't realize that this is why he's perpetually at... the kids' table. This right here.
In this whole conversation, Sam is eaten up with ranting about his own feelings, about how he's sick of being a puppet, and how he's going to hunt Lucifer down and gain redemption.
Sam's all about "how he can do this," how he's "gonna prove it to you."
It makes him seem a lot younger than he is.
....
There's no acknowledgment of how helpless Dean must have been feeling all this time, knowing that he's been targeted by an archangel, about how scary this whole thing is.
Hell, even Cas acknowledged Dean's fears re: Michael.
I mean: He did it in his Cas way, but it still acknowledged the enormity of the fear.
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Cas:
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///
Meanwhile, Sam back in 5x01, right after DEAN learned about being Michael's vessel: Geez, why is everyone so cranky and stressed?
🥺Dean, what do you mean that you didn't mean your pep talk to Bobby? Whaaaat? 🥺
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///
....
And the thing is. Not "getting it"? That's understandable. But this conversation is just... devoid of support for Dean.
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And they're not. Sam's zapping all the strength for himself.
When they've been together lately, Dean is the big brother who lends support, and Sam isn't giving anything back. Sam's out to prove himself, not to support others.
And they tell older siblings and parents to be patient, to let them learn, to step back and forgive, to be "a soft place to land."
That's hard to do. And it's exhausting.
And aside// Sam's apology to (demon) Bobby was SO MUCH NICER. Sam, where is this humility and energy for other people????
SAM: No, actually. Bobby, this is all my fault. I'm sorry. Lilith did not break the final seal. Lilith was the final seal. I killed her, and I set Lucifer free. You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn't listen. I brought this on. I'm sorry.
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rmtndew · 4 months ago
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Aw! Thank you, dear heart! I appreciate this so much! I had no idea how many people were going to embrace this AU because I knew it was a little different but I'm so glad that you've enjoyed it! 💜
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Where Kindness Grows
Chapter 10
Summary: The Great Depression took its toll on a lot of people and some had to get creative to survive. Seraphina’s father decides his solution is to sell his only daughter to a much older man. But when Sy overhears a conversation about the young woman, he makes a decision that will change his life - and Seraphina’s - forever.
(An arranged marriage AU with Captain Syverson)
Pairing: Sy and OFC Seraphina
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mentions of illness.
Word count: 4,800+
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16
Tag List Round 1 - @hollydaisy23, @onlyhenrys, @omgkatinka, @lawfulgranola, @gearhead66, @thethirstyarchive, @oddsnendsfanfics, @littlerinoa, @agniavateira, @aaescritora, @justaboringadult, @beenthroughalot, @seriouslygoodlookinggents, @xxxkatxo, @musicartmayheminmyheart, @lilliannaansalla, @dashingcavill, @mariestark, @summersong69, @sugarpenchant, @ruthoakenshield, @rn7rocks, @feralrunaway, @mzchievous-blog, @kmuir1, @the-space-between-heartbeats, @thereisa8ella, @daddys-littlewhitegirl, @jaded808, @secretlywriting, @princesssterek, @witcherfan, @the-problem-of-leisure, @inlovewithhisblueeyes, @amberangel112, @eldarwen333, @mary-ann84, @legendarywizarddetective, @vikingsbifrost, @sanjaaaaaaa, @mrsshiddleston, @batgurl1989, @absolutepie, @wonderlandfandomkingdom, @elena-myth, @mis-lil-red, @stxlemate, @tuckersgirl, @excalibur22, @diegos-butt​ (IF YOU’RE CROSSED OUT IT WON’T LET ME TAG YOU)
Let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list.
The weeks ticked on and with fall creeping closer, the heat finally let up. But even with the cooler weather, Sy wouldn’t let me do a single thing around the farm. He hadn’t since the night of the barn raising party. I couldn’t even so much as hang up the wash anymore ‘cause he was afeared I might faint again and hurt the baby. I was a mite scared of the same thing myself so for the first time since we got married, I didn’t try to talk him into letting me do any of the chores. I let him handle all of it.
Keep reading
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awsok · 1 year ago
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shin hati — season one character study
introduction in the odyssey, emily wilson / ahsoka, 'master and apprentice' / ahsoka, 'fallen jedi' / so we must meet apart, gabrielle bates & jennifer s. cheng / ahsoka, 'far far away' / between dog and wolf, rené-xavier prinet / ahsoka, 'far far away' / ahsoka, 'dreams and madness' / ahsoka, 'dreams and madness' / camp damascus, chuck tingle / ahsoka, 'the jedi the witch and the warlord' / the sun is also a star, nicola yoon
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puppyeared · 30 days ago
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the heaven and earth siblings
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deadsetobsessions · 5 months ago
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Pt. 4
Sorry this took so long. In the hospital still. Out of the hospital now!
For @unadulteratedsoulsweets
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It had been early in the morning when she’d stepped foot in the manor. It was closer to noon, now, that found the reincarnation attentively sitting in one of the (if she remembered correctly from the blue prints) three massive kitchens located in Wayne manor.
She sat atop one of the island stools Damian had ushered her into, spaced a comfortable distance from the man that was her biological father in this life. Her mask dangled at her hip, a comfort she indulged in after unpacking her things. In truth, she’s had cookies before, but it had been so long since she’s tasted it that she might as well have never tried it before. Damian and Alfred Pennyworth worked with maximum efficiency, measuring out flour and sugar and chocolate like there were no tasks more important than this.
Alfred Pennyworth also avoided a specific cabinet that smelled slightly of metal polish and gun powder. It was kept away from the perishables.
Perhaps the manor was smaller and much more homely than the palace, but the reincarnate could see the sense in and approved of the various well-hidden caches of weapons around. Meant for non-lethal take downs, of course, but anything can be lethal if you tried hard enough. Or, considering the vigilante filled manor she had agreed to vacation in, anything could be lethal if one did not try hard enough to keep it non lethal.
The scrape of a spoon drew her attention back to Damian, waving away the off topic musings her mind had wandered into now that a large portion of her brain power was freed from the duty of fear.
She tracked how Damian existed within this space he had so clearly made for himself. He was… happier. Kinder. More. More at ease, more settled into his skin instead of where he stretched it to fit the cast of the Demon’s Heir. Simply, more. He was more Damian than he had been in the league.
When Damian was locked within the walls of the palace, his shoulders were always held straight. There’d been a- not quite darkness- cruelty in his eyes and gait that their grandfather had eagerly nurtured. His chin had remained lifted, his actions closed and callous. She’d feared, for while, that Damian would follow their grandfather’s footsteps. Until the day she saw him sneak a bird into his room to heal, her heart had trembled and grieved to see someone she loved imitate the worst parts of her abuser. It didn’t change the fact that she loved him, but it changed how she taught him.
But experience is a better teacher than she will ever be, and Damian had little chance to experience true kindness in the pits of the league.
Here, Damian is light. Perhaps less aware than he normally would have been, on the look out for fatal attacks as she had trained him to be within the league, but here he is free and safe and relaxed. It feels like she’s sitting in a haze, the chirps of birds and the clouded noon sun casting everything into an unreal light.
“Ukhti, assistance is requested.” Her brother holds out a bowl of dough. Her heart hurt with how happy it was. She squished the dough between her fingers like a child rediscovering her childhood. In some ways, she was.
——
As she watched Damian, in turn the others observed her. Bruce sat beside her, cataloguing every minuscule expression of his child, the first and the eldest, in an attempt to make up for lost time. And truly, it was minuscule. For all Bruce trained in micro-expressions and movements, his eldest- god, he had another daughter, the eldest- daughter remained a mystery from which he gleaned little of. Her face never lifted from that trained neutrality, having resettled back into it after first bite of b’stilla. He cradled the mug of coffee in his hands, the tang of grief and guilt roiling in his stomach as his daughter hesitantly but skillfully rolled a ball of dough.
“Pennyworth has divulged his secrets to me.” Damian plucked the ball from his sister’s hand, who allowed it with traces of… bemusement, perhaps? His eldest daughter flicked her eyes up in question, perhaps mildly amused. Even if she had more than two decades worth of training, Bruce was frustrated that he could not read her. She was his daughter.
Already he fails her. For too long, he had failed her.
“He chills the dough for a chewier cookie. I, and some of the others with adequate taste, prefer this texture. But which would you find adequate?”
His daughter flickered through that sign language again, the one he had no knowledge of. Considering he knew multiple from each continent, that was saying a lot. He was catching a few repeated signs, but nothing concrete.
Alfred waited patiently as they had their conversation, paying sharp attention to their motions. Bruce… felt like he was sitting next to Cassandra. He supposed they were the same, except his eldest daughter hadn’t gotten free.
“That wasn’t what I meant, and you know it.” Damian grumbled, resting his hands on the counter, making sure to keep it away from his meticulously clean clothes. “We’ll cook them immediately.”
Bruce, in a fit of inspired parenting, offered a compromise.
“We could do two batches. One for right now and save a batch for later.”
Unspoken were the words ‘so she can try the cookies now.’ Despite the silent nature of his intent, Bruce thought that Alfred and Damian understood anyways.
“A fine suggestion, Master Bruce.”
“Thanks, Alfred.”
——
She sensed them before she saw them. Her father had slipped out after his suggestion, no doubt intercepting his flock of traumatized orphans before they could pile in.
Perhaps she had inherited something from Bruce Wayne after, considering how many of them she’d taken under her wing. She rolled the ball of dough between oiled fingers in a haze. Faint memories, impressions of a life long faded, guided her hands as she smooshed the cookies to her preference.
“Penny for your thoughts, Miss Al-Ghul?”Alfred Pennyworth asked her.
‘A Pennyworth for my thoughts?’ She swapped sign language, eyes slyly watching for Damian’s reaction.
Damian, right on cue, clicked his tongue, looking defeated. Alfred, on the other hand, smiled wider.
“A Pennyworth for your thoughts indeed.”
Her humor faded into something softer. Longing. Melancholy.
‘It’s been a long time since I’ve made dessert for myself.’
She glanced at Damian, who was trying his best to pretend like he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation lest he caught another stray pun. ‘Or used it to inoculate poisons.’
“I see.” The butler patted his hands dry onto a towel, a sharp eye on Damian’s efforts at covering the dough meant for freezing. “I assure you that these cookies will remain poison free, have no worries about that. Now, would you like some tea?”
She shook her head. ‘I’ll make it myself later. Thank you.’
“Very well, Miss-”
“Hi, Alfred. Making cookies?”
Her hands continued to work on her tray, placing cookie dough on the tray with military precision. Damian remained relaxed, though watchful of her reaction.
“That’s correct, Master Tim.”
Tim shuffled over to her, and she turned. Ah, her partial benefactor.
“Little photographer.” She smiled, slightly. Her eyes, however, were warm. Alfred stilled for a brief second at her voice.
“Hi. It’s been a while.” Tim plopped down on the seat next to her. His whole body screamed of nostalgia. It’s odd to see the little scrawny Bristol boy grow into a full fledged vigilante. It seemed like yesterday she was keeping him from slipping on Gotham’s manifestations of its rot and plummeting down on its stone heart.
She hummed. ‘Not too long.’
“What is that supposed to mean? When had you met Drake, recently?”
She glanced at the little- not so little- photographer.
“She helped me bring B back.” Tim lied. She didn’t like how easily he lied to Damian… but on account of her fondness for him, she let it slide.
“Did you, Miss Al-Ghul?” Alfred wiped his hands on the hand towel he carried. “Then I suppose we owe you our sincere thanks.”
She blinked slowly.
‘I didn’t do much. I kept him alive just the once.’
“That is a harder task than one might think, Miss Al-Ghul. Master Tim has, arguably, the worst self preservation instincts out of the life risking vigilantes I have known.” And he has known many, Alfred seemed to imply.
She tilted her head in acknowledgement.
“Hey! What is this? Gang up on Tim day?”
“I would participate in that even if it wasn’t,” Damian stated, packing the frozen cookies away in the corner. “Come and help, Drake. My ukht is about to have her first cookies and we will bake it to perfection. Bring the tray.”
Tim scoffed but slid the tray away from her, Alfred seamlessly dropping a napkin for her to wipe off the dough from her fingertips.
“Thanks, by the way. For saving Z and Owens.”
‘They were my assassins. Even if you did manage to sway them to your cause.’ She tapped the marble island, before opening her mouth. “Thank you. For destroying his pit options. It helped me kill Ra’s.”
In her peripherals, Damian settled back, disgruntled but willing to rest his curiosity as gratitude towards Tim’s part in her freedom overrode his need for answers.
Tim stilled. “…What are friends for, right?”
‘Of course, little photographer.’ She relaxed as her, arguably first, friend and now brother popped the tray into the oven.
“Anyways, they sent me in here to see if you’re ready to meet the rest of them.”
“And they said that?” Damian scoffed, coming around the island to stand beside her as she slipped off the stool.
“Nah, they actually wanted me to subtly vibe check her, but it’s not like she wouldn’t catch me doing it.”
“Ukhti’s ‘vibes’ are perfectly fine,” Damian said crabbily, crossing his arms defensively. She tapped the back of Damian’s neck and he relaxed.
‘Thank you for the… assessment of my character and general disposition.’ She signed dryly.
“Ugh, I should’ve made the connection. Your syntax is exactly like Damian’s.” Tim joked, dodging the punch Damian aimed at his nonexistent spleen.
The reincarnation huffed. ‘I spoke perhaps three words to you.’
“And how many people use disposition on a regular basis?”
“I do, Drake!”
“I know, Damian. That was the point, you little walking thesaurus.”
——
They left Alfred in the kitchen, the man all but shooing them away so he could get working on lunch, and made their way to a sitting room. The floor was covered in a plush blue carpet, a fact that made itself vividly present to the reincarnation when she placed her foot on it, the fabric brushing the back of her heels. She was too trained to allow the slip to visible, but for a microsecond, the memories of kneeling and choking clawed their way past her defenses. She made note of the trigger and moved on, compartmentalizing that fact for later.
“It’s you,” Nightwing breathed out, tensing. The others behind him freeze, even more alert than their regular state. Bruce whipped his head towards him, sharp and searching.
“Nightwing.” She greeted. She felt a kinship with this vigilante turned brother. She watched him soar and fall alongside the little photographer. She watched him grow new wings and watched them get tainted with blood and fear and grim hope. She lived vicariously through him, he who flew when she was chained. In some ways, she had ended up watching his back for a long time, both in yearning for the ease he was allowed at her father’s side and to protect the vulnerable back that knew not of its openness. Bruce inhaled deeply at her voice.
Dick stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. She does not disembowel him for it. Instead, she allowed the giant octopus hug her new oldest little brother gave her. There was no aggression in his countenance. Only relief and gratitude.
“You know Dick?” The little, ah, no, she doesn’t want to sound like Ra’s, Tim asked. Dick tensed, clearly unwilling to speak about it. She stepped in.
“I met him once. Eliminated a spider for him on a rooftop. I did not think he would remember.”
“Is that why you were so adamant on knowing who ukhti was?” Damian demanded, scowling. She immediately freed an arm and wrapped it around his shoulders. Damian ducked away with a rather petulant scowl. "Not because of my safety but because she crushed an arachnid for you?"
Dick nodded at him before looking up at her. “I really hated that spider. It was super scary. Thank you for getting rid of it.”
In lieu of an answer, she gently hugged him back.
“I get the feeling.” She said solemnly, voice coming out soft and borne of an implicit understanding. ‘Talk later,’ she signed to him.
“I was not aware you were afraid of spiders, ukht,” Damian muttered. “Though, Richard, I would believe.”
“Hey!”
Dick detached himself and pasted on a mostly genuine smile. “Oh! You should meet the others!”
He turned to the rest of Bruce Wayne’s wards and children to cheerfully point them out.
“This is Duke! He’s Alfred’s favorite grandkid, because he hasn’t burnt down the kitchen yet and reports when he’s injured.”
“Hey. Nice to meet you.” Duke Thomas raised a hand, smiling. “The bar was literally on the floor with you people. ‘Sides, Jason did just fine.”
The reincarnate nodded. Yes, she knew of him, though her memories were hazy. It had been over two decades, after all.
Dick steamrolled onwards. “This is Stephanie-”
“But you can call me Steph!” Stephanie Brown interjected, bouncing in her seat. Despite her bubbly demeanor, her gaze was sharp. Seeing. She liked that sharpness. It was tempered by the same rough and tumble kindness she’d seen in Grave- ah, Jason.
Spoiler, her memories reminded her. It was a soothing distraction from the anxious memories of the league. She found herself collecting little hints and information about this family. Her family, even if it were tentatively so. She caught Bruce staring at them intently, visibly anxious about this meeting.
‘A pleasure to meet you.’
“So… what do we call you?” Steph tilted her head. Hm. A tell Ra’s would have beaten out of her, had Stephanie had the misfortune of being in his presence for more than a day.
“Al Ghul will be adequate.” Damian cut in. The glance he threw her promised a discussion upon the topic of her name. Later, it promised.
“Wow. That’s kind of impersonal though.”
“Steph!”
“What?! I’m not wrong.”
“Anyways!” Dick loudly said over the two bickering kids. “That’s actually it for now.”
“The rest aren’t here as of this moment, but they’ll be around for dinner.”
A white lie. She studied Bruce for a moment before acquiescing. He meant no harm. Despite his capability to inflict harm, his willingness to do so, she could not read a single instance of ill will in him. Not, at least, towards her. She allowed the lie to slide.
‘I wish to see the grounds.’ She put a hand on Damian’s shoulder. He knew what it meant for her to retreat to the wilderness. Nature, where most things were free and where one does not often find Ra’s after he’d had a taste for luxury.
“We will go to the gardens. Ukhti wishes to explore.” Despite the rather curt way he pronounced it, Damian had stepped closer to her side in a gesture of concern. The pit inside of her stomach eased.
“Sounds good! Let’s go!” Steph bounced out of her seat.
“We could tell you stories,” Tim offered from behind her.
“Yeah, like that one time Dick face planted onto one of Poison Ivy’s flower beds because he was distracted by an ice cream truck.” Duke grinned, eyes crinkling.
“Hey! That ice cream truck was full of Scarecrow thugs!”
“And they weren’t worth an Ivy-lecture. I’m surprised she didn’t skin you and make a pot out of your bones, Dick.” Tim yawned.
“Ooo, we should tell her about the time I hit you in the face with a brick!”
“Literally what more is there to that story, Steph?” Tim grumbled.
“I would like to hear this tale,” Damian said, beginning to tug his ukht towards the garden. The rest of the group followed.
“Actually, why don’t we tell her about the time you tried getting Batcow to the barn and he just sat down? Didn’t you bargain with her for an hour, Damian?”
“Tt!”
Duke leaned back and took in the chaos he unfolded with a twinkling grin and Bruce’s sigh bolstering him. And if their newest and oldest addition to the family relaxed in his chaos, well, that was between him and her.
——
Cassandra found her in the gardens, the both of them weaving in between the foliage like light footed cats. Her contingent of Bats were behind them, watching the two former assassins approach each other.
Cassandra had frozen, mirroring the reincarnator’s stillness.
“Ukhti.” The word was torn out of Cass’ throat, filled with tears and relief.
“Cassandra,” she called, fond and kind and loving. Damian’s eyes darted between his sisters. They knew each other. How? She called his ukht, ukhti. A title he had assumed only he could use.
Cassandra scrambled and launched herself at her, silent sobs shaking her frame.
“Hello, Cass,” she caught the flying vigilante, crushing her first little sister into a tight hug. “Freedom suits you, habibti.”
Cass trembles in her arms, hands clutching at the fabric on her shoulder blades like Damian’s. Her eyes softened, and she rested her chin on Cass’s head.
“You know Cassandra too, ukhti?”
She nodded.
“Ukhti named me.” Cass said, voice wobbly. ‘Cass. Cassandra.’ Cass did her name sign. The one she had taught the slip of a girl back when Cass was stuck in a senseless prison and she was only free in terms of movement.
‘First word too.’ She smiled, proud of Cass and how far she’s come. Cassandra reads the pride in her language, the safety and kindness that she’d never forgotten even after traversing the world for years before arriving home, and she burrowed deeper into the hug.
“Oh. I see.”
“Two ukhts.” She smiled at Damian.
Cass shook her head, but before Damian could settle into his hurt at her supposed rejection, Cass explained her confusion. “Ukhti is your name? I’m Cass.”
“Ukhti means older sister.” Damian informed her.
Cass blinked and looked back at the reincarnation. Her shoulders relaxed and drew back, eyes softening and body loosened from its confusion. She smiled, bright as the sun, and deftly clambered around to perch on her older sister’s back.
“Two.” She declared. And truly, the reincarnation was weak to her younger siblings because that was that. Cass declared it so, and it shall be so. Damian grumbled but seemed like they agreed.
“How did you two meet?” Bruce piped up, intent and surprisingly considerate.
“Saved me,” Cass sighed, resting her chin on her ukht’s head. ‘From father and the league. Taught me to speak, a little. My name. Cass. Taught me..’ Cass paused. “Taught me I am not a weapon.”
The former assassin carrying Cass on a piggy back ride hummed in agreement.
“Oh.” The rest of the family glanced at each other. Dick had his shiny teary eyes on, the ones he got when Jason initiated a hang out.
“Not a weapon,” Cass repeated, pressing firmly on her ukht’s head.
A less sure hum. Cass scowled.
“No. Bad,” Cass scolded. “Not a weapon.”
An acquiescing hum, full of fondness and exasperation.
Cassandra Cain will take that answer. For now.
“You named Cass?” Duke asked. Bruce looked at them with gentle eyes.
“After a heroine I knew.” She replied, shifting. Cass hugged her tighter, intently listening. “She was strong. Lethal if need be. But… kind. She had an inherently kind heart. Full of love. Like Cass.”
“Oh, that’s really.. that’s really sweet.”
Cass hugged her ukht closer, touched. She had never known why she had been given the name, but finding out that it was after a heroine her sister looked up to made the day that much brighter. Hopeful. Honored.
“You have not told me this story,” Damian said.
‘I will. One day.’
——
Jason found her at the lunch table. Along with the rest of the brood. Except for, jarringly, an alien named Jarro.
“He’s our alien brother!” Duke said. He smiled, and it was a smile of unassuming harmlessness. A well crafted mask that she knew better than to be fooled by.
She offered three long blinks that had Cassandra, stuck like a limpet on the reincarnator’s back, muffling a laugh.
“Telling truth,” Cass whispered, sentences punctuated by giggles.
She hummed, shifting to more securely carry Cass on her back. Damian sighed and dutifully carried Cassandra’s pack. She smiled at her little brother, who straightened. Adorable. All of her siblings were adorable. She would kill for them. Ah, right. They frown upon murder here. So had she, once. Before Ra’s broke that part of her heart and forced her hands to commit evils that grew gnarled vines through her very soul.
“Oh.” She blinked.
“Hm?”
“Killing is… a choice.” The conversations around them fell silent. Cass’ arms tightened around her shoulders.
“We don’t have to do it, anymore,” Damian agreed. Yes, he understood what it was like, to be raised to kill and suddenly having the option not to.
“Did you not want to kill, before?” Bruce asked, suddenly a bit closer. Her mind was slipping, she realized. It felt… safe, to slip.
‘If I did not,’ she admitted, like throwing stones off of a lock-laden bridge. ‘Damian would bear the consequences.’
She sounded… young. Afraid. Two things she had always been and were never allowed to be.
Bruce Wayne looked at her like his heart was breaking, like he wished he could shoulder her pain on top of the weight of the world he willingly carried since his parents died. This, she is reminded, was why she swore Damian to secrecy regarding her existence. She wondered if he had ever taken the burden of more grief than he could bear.
‘And I could not say no, regardless,” she told them, absent and tired.
She wondered if she would be the one to break him, should she allow him a glimpse of the scars on her back.
“I could have taken it.” Damian grabbed her arm, clutching at her sleeve once more.
“No,” she whispered, haunted. ‘Not while I drew breath, habibi.’
“You don’t have to kill here. We’re all very good with no murder.” Tim reminded her firmly.
“Unless it’s the Joker.” Steph chimed in, bubbly smile gentled into something kinder.
“Unless it’s him.” Duke agreed. His eyes were more serious now.
“No,” Bruce replied, tired. Heavier, in a way that made sour tang of guilt scratch the back of her tongue. She hadn’t meant to give him the weight of knowledge, but she had inadvertently done so with the things she had and hadn’t said. He wasn’t the world’s- she glanced at Tim, who quirked a smile at her- second best detective for no reason.
“Yes, but you’re not ready for that conversation.” Dick snapped, lightheartedly.
Ah. That’s what was off.
They’re kind. They choose to be and they inherently are kind.
It showed. And she wasn’t used to that.
“Lunch.” Cassandra reminded them. She was a solid, grounding presence at the reincarnator’s back.
“Oh, Jason said he’s on the way.” Duke commented, nodding when she quickly did a subtle thank you sign.
“Why does he text you and not me?” Dick whined.
“Wow, man. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because of the emoji wall you send?”
“They’re nice! How else are you supposed to know what I’m feeling, right, Cass?”
Cass nodded and gave a thumbs up from her place on ukhti’s back.
“See?!”
“I love you Cass, but you also use a wall of understandable emojis. Dick just spams them.” Steph retorted.
The reincarnator turned to Damian, a silent question in her eyes. He sighed. “Yes, the imbeciles argue all of the time.”
She nodded and the group made their way to the green house for lunch, bickering all the while.
When they get there, Jason Todd, along with Alfred Pennyworth were already at the table.
“Grave.” She greeted as Cass slipped off her back.
“Ain’t no fucking way, Trainer?” Jason leapt to his feet. It was odd, seeing him in casual clothes. Ra’s had kept him in armor most of the time.
“You know each other?”
“At this point, who doesn’t ukht know would be an easier question.” Damian grumbled. She tapped him on the head twice, a light reprimand.
‘Grave was part of your guard,’ she told him. ‘He protected you well.’
“You’re the demon brat’s older sister? That makes so much fucking sense.”
She felt her eyes go cold, lifting to stare at Grave’s rapidly paling face. He visibly backtracks.
“Uh- I mean, you’re Damian’s older sister?”
She regarded him for a beat longer before blinking, ice melting away at the change. The nickname chafed at her neck, too close from a fate she gave everything to save Damian from.
Her head dipped into a small nod.
“Wild.” Jason sat back down. “So, uh, how are you handling the pit?”
‘I am not.’ She informed him, settling down in her seat. Damian claimed the spot next to her and Cass quickly took the other, much to Bruce’s chagrin. Tim plopped down to the seat next to Cass, eyes zeroing onto the chamomile tea Alfred had set out for him.
Duke smiled at Bruce before sitting next to Jason, Steph skipping over and sitting next Dick and Jason at the same time.
“Ukhti managed to get rid of the side effects,” Damian informed the table at large.
Her little bat had the worst ability to make sure attention focused on her, the reincarnation groused. She sighed.
“How?” Clearly, Grave had forgotten how much she beat him into the sparring mat because he leaned forward to glare at her. Well, she hadn’t wanted him too afraid of her.
‘Magic.’
His face fell at the assumed non answer, but Damian’s nod had the entire table once more expectant.
She sighed and began weaving her magic.
——
She stalked through the shadows of the manor, at ease. Bruce and the others had left on patrol, hours ago. She was clad in her sleeping clothes, one of her less favored clothes. Her hands would get dirty again tonight but she was long past the point of lingering on those regrets.
“Miss al-Ghul,” Alfred turned as she stepped towards him, having made sure she made adequate noise as a forewarning. “Having a good night?”
She tilted her head, eyes inquisitively peering at the spotless china display behind the butler.
“Ah, you must be curious about the fine ceramics we have currently displayed,” Alfred smiled. “Would you be so kind as to indulge an old butler on this topic?”
She had an idea about the kind of gift Alfred Pennyworth would appreciate.
——
“Uh, whatcha got there?”
She blinked, pulling bloodied hands away from her clothes where she had been inspecting them. The assassin that caused the damage on her clothes laid beneath her feet, still and lifeless. She blinked again.
Nightwing, Dick, stood in front of her, freshly showered from his patrol.
Some form of long forgotten instinct rose from the dry rotted fabric of her faded memories had her responding, ‘A smoothie.’
“…That’s… not a smoothie,” Dick said as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “I’m pretty sure that’s an assassin?”
She shrugged. “He was after Damian. To force him into being the Demon’s head.” She paused. ‘I am tying up loose ends.’
Dick considered her. And the he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Right, okay. I’ll help you get rid of the evidence.”
She waved him off, clicking her fingers and looking over the room with critical eyes as the body and traces of the fight disappeared.
“Woah, handy.”
‘Very,’ she agreed. ‘Did you need something?’
He made a face. “That’s weird. It’s usually me asking that,” he muttered. “Uh, yeah. I just… wanted to thank you again. And uh, let you know that the others don’t know so if you could not tell them, that would be great?”
With a huff, she reached over and up to gently ruffle his hair. ‘Of course. Damian did not know either.’
“Right,” he breathed. “You get it.”
She gave him a knowing look. “Been avoiding thinking about it?”
He swallowed. “Yeah.”
She looked at him, silent. Offering a space to listen, and a quiet promise to offer no judgement.
“I don’t- it- I could have stopped her,” he told her, guilt and shame and the lingering whispering voice Catalina burrowing into his ears and heart.
And when he started, it seemed to him like he couldn’t stop. Dick told her of the things he felt as she got on top of him, of how numb and far away things were. How, if it rained, he couldn’t be in the quiet because it made him relive it.
“But… but you stopped her so I shouldn’t even be like this!”
‘It wasn’t your fault.’ She told him, the first thing she’s said since he’s started talking. ‘The only one at fault was her. You trusted her to stop. She did not. Her crimes were not yours to bear.’
She paused, taking in the refusal she could read on his face. “If someone beats another person, would you blame the person who was beaten?”
“No!”
‘Then you are kind. But you are so kind to others, why not yourself?’
Dick fell silent.
“I killed Ra’s,” she reminded him. “He allowed many others to partake in my body without my agreement.”
She leaned towards him, the admittance of something she had not even told Damian ringing painfully in her heart but made all the easier to say by the fact that one of her little brothers (the free, first Robin, the son who stood by Bruce’s side when she could not) needed her. “He himself partook in me. And yet,” she added, when Dick looked up. ‘It is difficult to forget. I am still afraid when I step onto the carpet on the sitting room.’
“The carpet? The rug? The fluffy one?” He asked, confused.
“It is like… your rain and silence,” she crossed her arms. ‘That and the sound of rustling silk reminds me of his chambers.’
“Oh.”
‘I killed him and it will not go away. Would you blame me for that?’
“No, that’s how healing is- oh.”
“Be kind, to yourself.”
His chin trembled. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“Ukhti.”
“Ukhti,” he parroted, aiming a watery and small smile her way.
She held out her arms and, with Dick’s tacit understanding, tucked him beneath her wings like she did with Damian. “Thank you for offering to get rid of the body, habibi. But I would not want you to get in trouble.”
“Eh, I’ve helped Jason deal with worse.”
‘Comforting.”
“I know, right?”
——
“Why the hell do you keep calling me Grave?” Jason asked her, grumbling as he tried to wire his new helmet after the last one got damaged.
She leaned back, basking in the sun on the new rugs. After their conversation, Dick had set fire to every fluffy rug in the house-
“What the hell, dude?!” Duke gaped as he watched Dick cheerfully toss an expensive rug into the impressive bonfire they had going on.
“Ukhti doesn’t like fluffy rugs,” Dick said with a straight face. Damian dragged another roll to the bonfire with a scowl. “Alfred Approved project, if you want to join~!”
Duke stared at him… and picked up a roll to toss into the fire.
- and bought new ones using Bruce’s credit cards.
“You got some of your memories back, in the league.” She hummed. “You liked reading. Poems.”
“What does that even have to do with Grave?”
“I remembered one. A line. Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there, I do not sleep…”
Jason twisted around. “Are you kidding me?”
She continued. “Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die.”
“But I did die.”
She shrugged. ‘People still remembered you. Gotham and Bruce cried at your loss. I saw it.’
She straightened and smiled a small smile at him. ‘Besides. You got better.’
Jason snorted. “You too, I guess.”
She hummed an agreement, eyes slipping closed in the warm light of the sun, relief after a long second life of cowering in the shadows of a man more like a demon than he was a grandfather.
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simplykorra · 2 years ago
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sometimes the simple truth of being alive just...moves me
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akakris10 · 8 months ago
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" If medicine is useless, then is it not true that I, as a practitioner of medicine, is even more useless? "
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