#everybody: doomed toxic yaoi

[rystiel]

i feel like a fish swimming against the current in a river of angst enjoyers as someone who wants to make those characters happy for once

[marc--chilton]

they sunk their claws so deeply into one another that trying to pull away is sure to draw blood

[myersesque]

know now and forever that whenever i say sappy shippy shit abt hoffstrahm i mean it in the worst possible way

"they r married <3 they r deeply in love <3" = everybody they meet thinks they've been married for a decade and is eagerly awaiting the divorce. they cannot live in apartment buildings together bc they get too many noise complaints. even in non-jigsaw AUs they are THIS CLOSE to killing each other at any given moment. toxic doomed yaoi <3

[davekat-sucks]

im slightly concerned for dirkjake fans who romanticize gore and violence against your partner. people love drawing dirk and jake beating each other to (almost) death, but i’m more worried about people seeing that and thinking that it’s ok for a partner to do those kind of things to each other.

dirk jake is also pretty toxic in canon because jake is most likely aroace spec and dirk wouldn’t be able to except that he can’t be with jake. people are just grasping so hard to the kinda-canon-toxic-doomed-yaoi, or KCTDY as i have been calling it

They just need to know or be aware that fictional themes like abuse is not the same as reality. There have been lots of dark fiction that uses those similar themes. Some better or worse in execution and varies how people like them or hate it. As long as they don't try to apply it in real life to harm others or themselves. As well as the material being tagged properly for being NSFW or warning about the explicit materials. And of course, the person being OLD enough to draw/write and see it. But hey, everybody LIES about their ages, so of course the dumb 12 year old would want to see adult stuff because he thinks he is as mature as any other teen.

[sukisukidaysook]

Okay, I have thought of more pairings for you for the bingo game:

• Lanamia;

• Krisnix;

• Wrightworth;

• Solkat;

• Vrisrezi;

• Zosan.

I'm sorry if it's too much. If you don't want to do a bingo for all of these, it's fine.

I’m putting in depth thoughts under a readmore bc it’s gonna get LONG BABY!!!

LANAMIA:

OUGHHHH THEY WOUND ME!!!! Intellectually attracted. Lana fumbled Mia soooo badly and honestly I ship them as an OT3 including Diego <333 Lana had to become corrupt to save her sister while Mia fought corruption and died because of it… Lana the chief being called by Mia’s killer and informed through that (which I get was a translation error BUT MY GOD THE IMPLICATIONS!!!)… Imagine Godot trying to contact Lana to discuss Mia after he wakes up or them meeting in prison after TT…. UGH. Lanamia.

KRISNIX:

I’m fuckding crazy. They are toxic. They match each other’s freak. They pretended to be friends but they knew they were lying to each other (but what if those feelings got too real? What if it wasn’t an act? but you can’t let your guard down, no, not now, not after everything you’ve worked for). THEY SPIED ON EACH OTHER. for seven years. Kristoph made Phoenix more corrupt but Phoenix made Kristoph more human but they damaged each other and spiraled into madness. Kristoph ruined Phoenix’s like and Phoenix returned the favor. They are the same polar of a magnet, the same in every sense but always five steps away from each other, never able to get too close.

WRIGHTWORTH/NARUMITSU:

What is there to say that hasn’t already been said? I went through the pipeline. I hated Edgeworth and then instantly understood why the pairing is so popular. Childhood friends, to strangers, to enemies, to friends, to enemies again (one sided), to friends, and then lovers. They have long periods where they don’t talk or see each other and yet their bond only gets stronger each time. I don’t believe in soulmates and I hate the concept but if soulmates did exist, Narumitsu has that going.

SOLKAT:

Homestuck is fucked for separating them but at least they were put back together RECENTLY. They are so DOOMED in the main webcomic. They are best fucking friends and the closest each other has (outside, maybe, Sollux and Aradia). “kk dont u2e the computer explo2iion code iit wiill explode your computer” “FUCK YOU” and then the computer exploded. Sollux is Karkat’s IT guy (romantic). I think they could easily vacillate flushed and pitch and pale and. Yeah they are soo multi quadranted (with flush as the main). Goddd I miss them. When Sollux left it BROKE me. Davekat could never have what they have.

VRISREZI:

EVERYBODY GIVE IT UP FOR TOXIC DOOMED YURI!!!! WOOOO!!! They find each other in every universe. They are perfectly pitched (but also a little flushed). They have a POWERFUL rivalry like nobody else and are always evenly matched, bouncing one step ahead of each other. They act like they hate (platonic) each other at times but it’s sooo clear how much they care about each other. They would do anything to stop the other (cuz they are pitched rivals) but they would do anything FOR each other too. They make my head hurt and I mean this positively.

ZOSAN:

The fandom has them so wrong they are NOT CUTE YAOI they are MEAN and they FIGHT and that is their love language. They are a great example of Homestuck pitched. Sanji cooks Zoro’s favorite food because he has it memorized and Zoro eggs him on and threatens him but he’s eating the food and so clearly enjoying it and they keep up their bickering which escalates to a fight but they are fully in sync every step. They are a POWERFUL duo in fighting and they cover each other’s weaknesses FLAWLESSLY. They CARE about each other and their “love to hate” was clearly shown early on through Dorry and Broggy’s parallel, which is the same arc where this dynamic started. I don’t want them canon because I do like the friend dynamic the crew canonically has, but they are WONDERFUL in fanon.

[when-they-meow]

OKAY so this list isn't about like which characters i hate or like more because i like pretty much every character on these lists. :3333 here is an explanation for why they are here!!:

dream among us lobby would be chill and engaging. beatrice would bring some light ribbing and banter. beatrice and the doctor are there to bring the challenge. i think the 15th doctor would also be very sweet with everybody and go "oh wow! you're clever! good job!" whenever somebody has like a good point or something.

carl is there cuz i think he'd bring the chill vibes and possibly weed. hideyoshi also, i think he'd be fun to be around. meow also she seems sweet. nanba would be chill too.

jerma is there so i can go "lmao i played among us with jerma" but also i feel like he'd be fun.

blahaj is there because i think he'd be very polite and also a familiar person to be around

rose because she's sweet and also i love her saint olaf stories.

nightmare among us? well it'd be dreadful. fucking TERRIBLE.

chase and leo are just bringing the entire night down with their toxic doomed yaoi stuff. mion decides to kill celeste first which leads to celeste having a tantrum, also i feel like mion would probably cheat at among us with could possibly annoy everybody (except for beatrice who is like YES GIRL).

erika + celeste are taking the game too seriously which beatrice trolls them over. raqio and erika eventually start arguing over who is more intellectual. beatrice says "you're both equally as stupid". everybody just starts trying to kill everybody while basil sobs in the corner.

and then afterwards Izanami throws me and Basil into the torture nexus as punishment for our sins (having mental illness)

[red-might-be-dead]

everybody say thank you alienstage for the doomed childhood friends yuri and the confusing sudden yuri and the tragic slightly toxic yaoi

[blueiight]

my opinions on spaceboys hets nobody care about spoilers galore for the handful of ppl watching !!

jessica/yang: unironically think its greatness like jessica was one of the few ideological challenges to yang on the fpa side & even in the whole series she rly represented that political homefront in a way hilde is introduced for the empire jessica is that for the fpa grassroots organizing then in the face of loss is mobilized to rise up against the govt its rly some of the best or rather the most resonant the fpa side gets is thru her imo + her entanglement w yang was even better. usually i hate a rebound but the fact that both jess + yang rly cared about lapp and for eachother n never rly had a chance to admit that to themselves much less eachother before it was too late makes it such a good ship nd rly sets a lotgh precedent [love triangles from the pov of the 'loser' in love..who broke tanaka's heart back ina day]..sunglasses is to yang as locket is to reinhard. ova needed sunglasses yang

reuenthal/elfriede: also unironically think its greatness. elfriede is one of the best characters in lotgh to me . she literally only had 10 minutes of screentime, and 6 of them were like “you’re doomed to die ingloriously and i wanna be the bullet that ends your life”. reuenthal is like please, id gladly welcome it, if you knew how to use that gun woman. thats so romantical to me. unironically my fave type of hets r either jessyang or reufriede toxic. i do support queering reufriede its literally ripe in ova canon.

dominique/rubinsky: dominique is a citygirl in my canon, she wanted rubinsky as a come up for her career & got entangled in his ??? lotgh ‘logic’ defying actual logic plots. loved her snitching to oberstein in the end.

annerose/kircheis: i think kircheis really loved her like he rly did but i have a hard time getting a grasp on annerose’s feelings + how much of her feelings were ‘sieg is a safe boy’ (in that hes not a 70+ yr old emperor) & later on entangled in her feelings toward reinhard in feeling like they were both responsible for kircheis death

reinhard/hilde: they have to be miserable + not ‘oo guy fucks the one girl of the group’ or even reufriede miserable but really and truly. miserable. i cant see them as having feelings for eachother. i think hilde feels a lot of grievances at taking this subsitute of kircheis (+ annerose) in the emotional aspect for reinhard . mfw i joined for the political coup & became someone’s workwife my hc for their first time is that rein had the worst stroke game (he was wine drunk) + called her kircheis when he came. god (tanaka) had to send reuenthal to his maker bc seeing this happen to His Kaiser wouldve rendered him apopletic

frederica/yang: i think theyre cute & yang needs a mommy dom but it shouldnt come at the cost of frederica’s overall chara. also frederica + julian parallels hey. where julian ‘outgrows’ the domestic frederica ‘matures’ in the domestic which is. Hm. not sure how to think abt that

julian/katerose: theyre technically yaoi to me in the sense that theyre their father’s ‘successors’ of sort. cute!

mittermeyer/evangeline: everybody is so so wrong about them. u can love ur wife and be gay too bros. why r ppl so insistent on like. taking away what makes mittermeyer fun… he even says hes playing the Straight Laced guy bc kircheis aint there thats not his nature!! hes the gale wolf. the short guy with a lot of spunk. i think he loves eva & loves his friend/s. my Q/As: what does infertility reprsent, who r they compared to, and why is it only thru reuenthal that the infertility issue is revealed sorta w/ reuenthal saying ‘the reuenthal line ends with me’ & him later apologizing to evamitt n why is it thru reuenthal that mittermeyer has a kid at last! sorry. fujo glasses off

[winstrates]

the notes on the toxic doomed yaoi poll are extremely funny, and i would recommend everybody reads them. i'm especially loving all the write-ins.