#When You Hold Me
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Wake Me Up - Part 3
Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader
Summary: A few weeks after you and Ben celebrate your first Christmas together, Ben is returning from another mission with the Supe Affairs team. When he discovers that you’ve been taken, he’ll do whatever it takes to find you. And then, to help you heal.
AN: Get ready for some angsty, but fun attempts at memory jogging. 😅
Song Inspo: “I Can Read Your Mind” by the Doobie Brothers.
Word Count: 4.3K
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only for some...mature talk lol. Angst and hurt/comfort, fluff, PTSD, protective Ben, tinge of spice~
💚 Wake Me Up Masterlist || Break Me Down Masterlist
Part 3: “When You Hold Me”
Those first few days were the hardest ones.
Marie ran out of paid time off, which meant she had to go back to work. That left you alone with Ben during the day.
He was standing in the middle of the kitchen, arms crossed, and glaring at you after you’d just pushed away the bowl of bland instant oatmeal he’d “made” for you.
“We’re not gonna have this discussion again. You need to fucking eat,” he said. “I could feed you, though I promise you’re not gonna like it.”
His surly, frowning face was annoying you. His deep voice was annoying you. His tall, ridiculous wall-of-man body in your line of vision was annoying you, clothed in the rumpled shirt and sweatpants he’d slept in.
Everything about him annoyed you right now.
But that could also have something to do with the pounding ache in the back of your skull, radiating forward and between your eyes.
“Bro, I’m on like, three kinds of medication,” you replied in weary irritation. “With what appetite do you expect me to eat?”
Bro? His eyebrow twitched. He saw the pain and tiredness written across your face though, and the way you were sitting hunched at the breakfast bar, arms crossed on the counter. He softened a little.
“Look, I get it,” he started to say.
“No, you don’t,” you snapped. Your eyes closed as the pain sharpened. You lifted your hands to either side of your temples. “You don’t know what this feels like.”
You huffed and dropped your hands flat on the counter in frustration. Your eyes opened, and you looked down at the various healing scars littering your arms. You knew there were a few more across your neck and chest, and even your thighs. No matter how you stood, sat, or laid, it was painful to move your body. Even your face still hurt, with the fracture and bruises.
“You’re not the one who looks like Edward Scissorhands had a party,” you said, gesturing at yourself as you glared up at Ben. Emotion began to rise in your throat. “Or for a reference you’ll actually understand, how about this: I’m the Bride of goddamn Frankenstein. A fucking patchwork quilt.”
Ben hardened again, even with the deep pit forming in his stomach.
“That’s enough—”
“And despite what little you, or my mom, Grace, Annie, or even the doctors have told me, I can’t even remember who did this to me or what the hell happened,” you said. Hot tears welled up in your eyes. You wiped at them furiously and turned your face away.
“So no, the indestructible supe doesn’t understand. You literally can’t!” You pushed away from the counter and did your best not to lose your balance when a wave of vertigo hit you.
Ben started toward you, but you held up a hand against him.
“Just leave me the hell alone,” you muttered.
It wasn’t the first time you’d ever said that to him, but somehow, this one cut into him worse than the last.
Over the next several weeks, you did begin to heal from your injuries. Your doctor even noted that you were healing better than she expected. Bruises faded, wounds slowly became scars, some of their stitches removed, and with the right topical medication, a couple of them began to disappear.
The memories remained—at least for Ben. Finding you in that dark, disgusting place, breaking your chains, seeing how thoroughly that piece of shit had worked you over…
It still made him angry at times. He’d broken a couple of mugs, and one near-empty beer bottle. (You’d only caught him once, though he’d given you some bullshit excuse as to why.)
Your memory, on the other hand, still didn’t return.
And you weren’t an easy patient. That episode in the kitchen wasn’t the first, nor was it the last. Often the pain made you crabby and irritable, whenever your medication wore off. The head injury was also causing vast mood swings that Ben could barely keep up with.
It was all he could do to stop himself from snapping back at you at times (and sometimes he failed). He wasn’t exactly Mr. Rogers.
Marie was the only buffer. At least, when she was home. On more than one occasion, she’d had to try and diffuse the tension.
She was working during the day though, which of course, left you with Ben.
You were prone to headaches and dizziness, so he was careful with you, more than he’d ever been. You were starting to notice how he sometimes had to correct himself before he touched you, or forced himself to be deliberately slow when he helped you.
Your mom had also been doting on you, laying out your clothes, brushing your hair, trying her best to cook for the three of you in the evening. Apparently, she’d been taking lessons, though she still couldn’t cook for shit. Ben often suggested takeout, since he was also no “Betty fucking Crocker,” in his own words.
Still, it was a foreign feeling to be taken care of. It often left you unbalanced, even after your vertigo settled, or your headaches eased.
You considered it while you and Ben were channel surfing together from opposite ends of the couch in the living room. Your mom had just given you a blanket to cover your shoulders, before she went off to water your potted plants on the balcony for you. It was a Saturday, so she had the day off work.
You watched her go with a measure of disbelief.
“Look at Mother Theresa go,” you remarked. “You’d think they replaced my mom with one of the Stepford Wives.”
Ben snorted, because he actually knew the movie you were talking about. You’d forced him to watch it with you a few months ago, mostly to tease him.
“She’s never babied me this much in my life,” you said. “Not even when I was still old enough to be babied.”
Instead of commiserating with you, Ben just sighed, shaking his head a little. He glanced away from the History Channel on the screen to shoot you a glance.
“Maybe you should cut your mom some fucking slack,” he said. “She’s doing a hell of a lot for you. Even more than I am.”
You raised a brow at him. While you had a feeling that wasn’t so easy for him to admit, something about his words annoyed you.
“You clearly don’t know her like I do,” you said.
Your childhood had been no picnic. While you didn’t necessarily blame your mom (anymore) for staying with your father when you were a kid, you had never truly been a child. Your self-imposed job had been to protect your sister’s childhood, and sometimes, your mother too.
Ben gave you a more direct look.
“I know plenty,” he said.
And in his eyes, you saw that he did know something. Perhaps too much. You gathered the throw blanket closer around your body and sank further into your side of the couch.
The last thing you wanted to talk about was your messed up childhood, let alone your father. You couldn’t even remember his death, though Marie told you that you had been there. And so had Ben.
You snuck a look at him while his attention had returned to the TV. He’d settled on Ice Road Truckers. You weren’t impressed.
“Ugh. Can we watch something else?” you asked. “Something funny maybe, like How I Met Your Mother?”
Ben shot you a look. “Sounds like a chick show.”
“Not true! It has universal appeal,” you argued. Slowly you raised yourself from your corner of the couch, grimacing just a bit as it disturbed the delicate equilibrium of your still-fractured skull. It was healing, but that, of course, would take the most time. Your headaches would turn into migraines if you weren’t careful.
Ben knew that full well as he watched you move towards him across the couch. He couldn’t help but reach out a hand to steady you by your arm. You gifted him with a smile and grabbed onto him.
“Please?” you implored.
Ben tried to remain unaffected, but that smile of yours was endearing. Plus, it wasn’t often that you willingly reached out to him, touched him.
“I’ll do you one better,” he said, turning off the TV with the remote. You gave him a curious look. He turned to you with a smile.
“Let’s go for a ride.”
Of course this man would have a Benz, you thought. The car was black and sleek with beige interior, and it was both comfortable and decked out with all the modern bells and whistles.
You wondered if he knew what half of these buttons did as you gazed across the dashboard, but the path of your eyes continued until you settled on the man himself. Ben was casually dressed in a burgundy sweater and dark brown slacks, a silver Rolex on his wrist. He had one hand casually on the wheel and the other resting in his lap.
Part of you itched to take his hand, but you decided against it. You could admit, if only to yourself, that you were warming up to him.
Maybe you even liked him.
You knew you didn’t always make it easy, but he had been as patient and gentle as he could be with you, for a man who clearly wasn’t used to being either for anyone.
Despite his gruff exterior, however, you knew he had to care about you to put up with all this. It made you more willing to trust him…and even more curious about him.
“What’s my favorite color?” you asked.
Ben gave you a furrowed look. “What?”
You crossed your arms over your blouse.
“We’ve supposedly been together for a year,” you reasoned. “You should know what my favorite color is.”
He shook his head in disbelief.
“Come on,” you nudged his arm, trying to get him to smile. You succeeded, just a little.
“I don’t know…blue,” he guessed. Your mouth fell open in shock.
“How do you not know my favorite color’s red?” you said. “That’s the most basic thing ever.”
“What are you, five years old? Who fucking cares?” he said, rolling his eyes.
“I do!” you said. “Well, fine, Mr. Grump. When’s my birthday?”
With another shake of his head, he did correctly answer that question, at least.
“What’s my favorite food?” you asked.
“What’s with the goddamn quiz?” he retorted.
“I’m seeing how well you actually know me,” you countered. “Come on. Impress me.”
Ben slowed to a stop at a busy intersection. He’d been trying to jog your memory by passing certain landmarks he thought you might recognize, like the grocery store you two always shopped at, or the park where you liked to go for walks. So far, you seemed disinterested in the sights and more interested in grilling him.
Despite his longsuffering sigh, he had to wrack his brain in order to come up with something for you.
“The Beatles are your favorite band. Specifically the Abbey Road album,” he said.
That didn’t exactly answer your earlier question, but…he wasn’t wrong.
“Okay, you get a point there,” you said.
“And you fucking love Christmas,” he said, somehow with both annoyance and fondness. “Tacky as hell, with the…the ribbons, and the red flowers, and the jingle balls, and whatever the fuck else you can get your hands on. You love that shit. Because when you were a kid, that was the only time of the year your family got any peace.”
You were smiling at his description, but you sobered when he got to that last bit. Ben met your gaze.
“I know that you’ve had three boyfriends before me,” he said. Then, a smirk grew across his face. “But I’m the only one who’s made you come. Every time. Like a goddamn faucet.”
You gaped as your face grew red with a hot blush. “Excuse me—”
“You claim to like getting taken from behind the best. And you do. You’re all too happy to get bent in half for me. Hair pulling, ass-slapping, the whole sticky nine yards,” he continued, with an even fonder gleam of memory in his eyes. His hands caressed the leather wheel of his car, long fingers flexing.
“But you actually like it better when you can see my face, watch me work. I don’t blame you,” he added, smiling. “I mean, if there was an Oscar for laying it the fuck down, I would’ve taken that shit year after year. Would’ve beat out Burt Reynolds by a fucking landslide.”
You thought you were about to combust, whether from indignation, or straight up embarrassment, you didn’t know. (And you were going to ignore the little tremble of heat between your legs.)
But just as you were about to blow your top, figuratively speaking, Ben’s expression became more serious when his gaze returned to you.
“I know that you’ve had to take care of yourself. And that you’ve been alone all your life,” he said. Then a slight pause, before his attention went back to the road. “That’s something you and I have in common.”
The light turned green. Your anger and embarrassment settled, somewhat, into contemplation. You didn’t know what to make of this man.
He was infuriating, with all kinds of audacity. He was crass, and at times, he grated on your very last nerve.
But somehow, he knew you. He seemed to know the parts of you that you didn’t even want to know.
Sensing your angry gaze on the side of his face, he turned to you with a devil-may-care grin.
“You hungry?” he asked.
“Ben, I’m not dressed for this,” you said, leaning in close to whisper to him.
He’d taken you to a nice steakhouse for dinner, on the even more affluent side of town. You still couldn’t believe you’d moved out of New York City to Scarsdale, of all places.
Ben wrapped an arm around your waist and guided you closer, enough for you to feel his body heat.
“You’re just right,” he looked down on you with a teasing wink. It made you blush, despite yourself, with a small smile.
You went with him to a secluded booth in the back, by his request with the hostess. They seemed to know him, so maybe he was a regular. Or more likely, both of you were regulars. This place was only vaguely familiar, but when you saw the menu, you knew you were going to get the salmon.
Ben snorted when you said so.
“Yeah, that’s what you always get,” he said.
He smiled though—at the fact that this little outing was helping you make progress after all.
He didn’t need the menu either. He always ordered the dry-aged porterhouse steak. You couldn’t drink on the medication you were on, but he ordered a glass of bourbon for himself.
When the meal eventually came out, you glanced at his enormous plate with wide eyes. That had to be the biggest damn steak you’d ever seen, along with a huge loaded baked potato and a side of broccoli. You doubted the greens would do all that much for him, nutrition-wise.
“Whoa. Did they cut up a stegosaurus back there?” you quipped.
Ben chuckled. He’d actually missed your sense of humor, no matter how dumb it was sometimes. He unwrapped the steak knife they gave him from his napkin and started to carve a big piece.
You raised your brows, but shifted your attention to your fish and mashed potatoes. It was delicious. Like melt-in-your-mouth good, and you weren’t sure fish was supposed to be “melty.” No wonder you two liked coming here.
But then, your thoughts were entirely derailed.
Hearing the sound of his knife hitting the plate, carving into the meat—it struck a discordant note in your mind. You looked over, and the sharp, silvery gleam of it caused a vision to flash across your eyes…
Of a blade sliding against your skin, over and over. Along with questions. The same questions being asked of you, over and over.
You can’t. You can’t. You can’t.
“Tell me!” a man demanded. “Give me something.”
He grabbed your face, squeezed your neck until you choked on blood and spit.
“Hey!” a more familiar voice cut through it all. “Come on, sweetheart. Answer me.”
You blinked and caught yourself mid-gasp, staring into the deep green of Ben’s eyes.
Your head was resting on his shoulder, his hand pressed to the side of your cheek, which stung slightly, as if he’d had to try and wake you. His arm was wrapped around your waist in the booth.
He was gentle in sliding your hair away from your face, but his own was hard and almost angry, as his brows were knitted together. His gaze then traveled across the room, and you realized that there were other people in the restaurant now watching you and Ben. Even the servers stopped what they were doing at the sound of his shout.
He gave them all a pointed glare.
“What? Nothing to fucking see here,” he snapped. Most of them were wise enough to turn away, back to their meals and conversation. Ben focused on you as you caught your breath. You were finally able to support yourself, though you stayed leaning on his shoulder. He wasn’t about to let you go either, until he got some answers.
“What the hell happened?” he asked. You frowned at his gruff tone, until you met his eyes. Somehow, you could see that there was worry there.
You glanced down, and you closed your eyes when you saw it. You pressed your face into his arm to steady yourself.
“The uh…the knife,” you whispered. “It made me see something…remember something.”
“What did you remember?” he asked quickly. You sucked in a shuddering breath, squeezing your eyes shut tighter.
“Nothing good,” you whispered.
You felt him pause. You heard the shuffle of silverware, a thump on the table. Then his hand came up and cupped your cheek.
“It’s okay. I put it away,” he said.
Tears burned behind your eyelids, and you buried your face harder against his chest. At this point, it wasn’t just about seeing the knife. It was knowing that whatever had happened to you, it had truly been hell. Unlike anything you’d ever been through before.
“You want to go home?” came Ben’s voice, deep and steady in your ear.
You sniffed and nodded, as your tears seeped into the fabric of his sweater. He rubbed your back, holding you more securely.
“Okay,” he said. “Let’s go.”
Unfortunately, the episode at the restaurant led you to a migraine. Ben carried you to the master bedroom and laid you down, helped you undress down to your underwear, and gave you a shirt you liked to sleep in. He turned all the lights off and made sure the curtains were closed tight.
Marie brought you your pain medication with a glass of water. Ben hoped there was enough in your stomach that the pills wouldn’t make you nauseous as well, like they occasionally did.
After you took the meds, you curled up on the bed and closed your eyes tightly, trying not to whimper like a child. You’d dealt with pain before; that was nothing new. But this was getting ridiculous.
Ben gave Marie a certain look. “I’ve got it from here.”
She gazed at you with sympathetic tears in her eyes, but she nodded and touched his arm.
“If you need anything, just call for me,” she whispered.
Ben nodded, but he closed the door behind her and began by taking off his watch, then his shoes, pants, and sweater. He changed into a pair of sweatpants and a loose shirt.
You were too busy hugging your pillow and pressing your face into it. You didn’t realize he was still with you until the bed dipped behind you.
Ben turned you around and gathered you into his arms. You inhaled sharply, but then you clung to him. His chest and middle were warm, a bit unnaturally so.
“You’re hot,” you muttered, splaying a hand against his chest. “Like a radiator.”
Ben quirked a smile. “Yeah, you tend to complain about that.”
You shook your head and pressed yourself closer to him. “Not today.”
He wiped the tears from your cheek and laid a kiss on your forehead. He held you that way for a while, just silence and the sound of your breathing covering the room. Eventually, the pain medication began to kick in, helping to ease your pounding skull.
You pulled back enough to see Ben’s face. He was still awake, but he opened his eyes and met yours in the dim light. You reached up and touched his bearded cheek, hesitantly.
“Why can’t I remember?” you asked, in a broken voice.
Ben’s brows furrowed. He curled his hand around yours and let out a breath.
“I don’t know,” he said, but all he wanted was for this to be over.
“I could take this from you,” he said. “What’s the big fucking deal about a blood transfusion?”
Your fingers stilled against his cheek. Your tearful eyes averted from his, but you weren’t as opposed to the idea as you were before.
“The last time, it healed me?” you asked.
“Within the hour,” he said. His hand tightened a fraction on yours. “It’ll be like it never happened. And your memories could even come back.”
You sighed, briefly closing your eyes. Your hand fell from his cheek, but you nodded.
“Okay. I’ll think about it,” you said.
Ben’s frown remained, but at least it was a step in the right direction. He took your chin and slowly tilted your face up to his. You stared up at him with shining eyes. He didn’t like the pain he still saw there, but he did like the way you glanced down at his lips.
He took a chance, and he leaned down to meet you with a kiss. What first was a gentle touch, soon became heady as your hand slid up his arm and into his hair. He brought you flush against him and deepened the kiss, when his tongue swept past your lips and brushed against yours. You welcomed him in with a surprised moan.
He hadn’t tasted you in so damn long, it was like indulging a craving he’d been denying himself. It was even harder to slow down and ease away from your lips.
You rested your forehead against his chest afterward.
“Wow,” you breathed. “Okay.”
Ben chuckled. But unlike the movies, a kiss didn’t break the spell. You were his, but not completely.
He wanted nothing more than to show you how much you could be…but your body was still weak. He would have to continue protecting you, even from himself.
“I want to stay here tonight,” he said.
Despite his earlier thoughts, he didn’t think he could take one more night of not being with you in this bed. He could control himself. He just wanted to make sure you were all right, and safe with him.
It took you a moment to decide, but you nodded.
“You can stay,” you agreed, with a more teasing smile. “I don’t think your old man back can handle the couch anymore.”
He snorted in amusement. There was some more of your sense of humor peeking through.
Meanwhile, you still weren’t totally convinced that him sleeping in the bed with you was a good idea. A good part of you craved his nearness, and how he made you feel safe…but you also weren’t sure if you were ready to continue being so vulnerable with him.
Just when you were about to put some distance here between you and tell him to stay on his side, Ben rolled you back around so that your back was pressed to his chest. He slid a warm, strong arm around your waist. His lips pressed to your bare shoulder. The sleep shirt you wore (one of his old shirts) had ridden down your arm.
“Just relax,” he said. “I’ve got you.”
And you actually believed it.
You felt comfortable and secure in his embrace. Soon enough, you relaxed into him.
Sleep wasn’t easy, but you got there in time. It even lasted for a while.
Just not long enough.
In your dreams, there were flashes of things that didn’t make sense. They were jumbled together like white noise on a TV, occasionally screeching with color, and mostly red with blood.
You woke up shaking and sweating.
Ben was a light sleeper at best. He was startled awake in confusion, disturbed by how you had been tossing and turning and making sounds of distress. He turned toward you and moved his arm to make room for you, but he decided he would let you come to him this time.
You didn’t disappoint him. You reached for him and buried your face in the crook of his neck for a while, trying to ground yourself in him. He held you and rubbed your back until you calmed down.
When you pulled away slightly, and spoke his name in the dark, Ben looked into your eyes. For a moment, he could’ve sworn you were there. The real you.
“Thanks for staying with me,” you whispered.
Ben was disappointed. This wasn’t you remembering. But at least, this was you being you, thanking a man like him.
He just nodded and guided you back into his arms. You let him hold you for the rest of the night.
AN: So close, but yet so far. 🥲
But just wait for the last part...
Next Time:
You brushed your fingers over that picture in wonder. You didn’t remember that day, even though you were sure you must have been there…
It was so odd to see so much of your life in pictures, yet it was all still so fuzzy, or entirely blank in your mind.
You paused, blushing once again when you saw the picture of you getting out of the shower with the towel barely wrapped around your body. Why the hell would this be in a photo album?
You quickly moved on. Though you stopped next at a picture of you and Ben in what looked like a dark nightclub. The way he was holding you, looking at you like he was ready to devour you, and the way you were looking up at him, with a smile that said he’d better damn well try…
It made a sharp pain lance behind your eyes.
▶️ Keep Reading: PART 4 (Finale!)
Ko-Fi Me ☕
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#When You Hold Me#Wake Me Up#Part 3#soldier boy#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy/ben#soldier boy x you#soldier boy x female reader#Soldier Boy/Ben#the boys#the boys AU#the boys season 3#the boys amazon#soldier boy fanfiction#the boys fanfiction#jensen ackles characters#jensen ackles#Break Me Down#BMD-verse#the boys x reader#soldier boy fic#zepskies writes
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When you hold me
by Hyde (@hydeomonster)
Relationship(s): Smalletho
Rating: Teen and Up
Word count: 8k
Summary: So Joel didn't kiss Etho. Ae can't bring aerself to say anything but ask, without saying it, if Etho could bear to see aer again.
"Will you write me?"
The knight nods solemnly, ever so good at staying composed in front of others, when Joel can see the blood rushing to his cheeks. "Of course," he replies, "as soon as we hit land."
OR : Etho's leaving for Pixandria, Joel's seemingly alone in Mezalea and life likes to challenge aers faith and will to live on. That's to say ae is as confused as ae is scared,
Read When You Hold Me on AO3!
Full art pieces will be posted with their associated chapters!
Check out the amazing artists for this team:
Choco (@bad12amcomic):
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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post-graduation trip airport looks
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen fanart#these took ages but fr once i am choosing to forgive myself given th fact tht i was coming out of A State when i drew them#im normal now dw drawing the first years wearing merch of my comfort content fixed me#when in doubt play dress up. life hack#i am holding fast 2 my hc tht megumi is a fiend @ indie platformers and is a household name on the celeste speedrun leaderboards#argue with a wall this is my jujutsu kaisen#megumi designated Drink Runner also#alr in line at a cafe texts their gc 'what do you guys want' n gets mad @ nobara fr making him go to a Second shop 2 get her bubble tea#anyway theres not much 2 say abt these just bc i needed sth Light n Easy 2 get me out of my head#no lore to fashion pieces which is both a blessing and a curse but it Is what i needed#nobara serving looks fr a flight i love u so much. it's probably 8 in the morning n she is in a fully coordinated fit#its so criminal tht we don't have more alt hairstyle official art fr her???? iirc it's Just the lost in paradise mv with her in buns no????#robbed. i am fixing it immediately.#wonder where the 3 of them wld go on a trip
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mouse bites™
#anybody do this yet?#house md#hate crimes md#house md game#mouse bites#gregory house#hilson#james wilson#lisa cuddy#robert chase#allison cameron#eric foreman#house md meme#he needs mouse bites to live#shoutout to whoever made the house game generator thing#this took me way too long#house#dr house#also if you notice house's clothes kinda changing colors when he holds the mouse bite serum#its because i had to recolor it myself#i couldn't get the shades of gray to be exact#oh well#i also drew the nosebleed lmao#every house episode ever#generic house episode#editing this to say#this is not an original meme at all#I just ds-ified it tbh#ive seen some people not know it but i recommend you look it up#or like iykyk i guess
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something something katsuki can't keep his hands off you when he's had a little too much to drink (see: denks the worst at-home bartender in the world, believes a shot of vodka really means four).
it starts off innocently enough, gathered in eijiro's living room, when he cracks a foul-mouthed joke and you double over into side with laughter. the heat starts to creep up his neck, but it's easy to blame it on the alcohol. he nudges you back playfully, a grin quirking at the corner of his lips.
two more shots of whatever vile concoction denki mixed up and he's melting into the couch. he's sitting on one end, a little squished with how mina, eijiro, hanta, and denki are piled on top of each other - chatting away, drinking, and desperately trying not to make eye contact with the wasted blond. katsuki's got you perched all pretty in his lap because "there isn't any room left to sit." a convenient excuse.
you're flushed and trying to keep up with mina's story and you're having a great time with your friends but katsuki's hands are looping casually around your waist and pulling you closer to him and he's leaning a little on you for support and you feel a zing speed down your spine as his lips brush against your arm. an accident.
his head's a little fuzzy, but katsuki's practically melting with the alcohol swimming through his veins. and you're so soft it's making everything even fuzzier. before he even finishes that thought he's testing out the plush of your waist, your thighs, pinching a little at the small of your back, and back down to your thighs. you squirm in his hold, and he retaliates with a soft grunt and by biting what he could reach.
the spit on your arm is more uncomfortable than the rather tame bite he gives you. you can see his eyes wobble, flitting to different parts of your face. "hol' s'till," he garbles and your heart leaps into your throat. you can feel four sets of eyes boring into you both, but you can't break away from katsuki's heavy, lidded, lovesick gaze.
#no idea where that came from#the holy spirit took hold of me#maybe i'm just touch starved cries#i think katsuki doesn't drink often so his tolerance is piss shit#and he already struggles to keep his emotions at bay when it comes to you sober. even worse when drunk#and i like to think this is early enough your friendship / crush that the physical barrier has not yet been breached or#has just recently been breached#he wants to touch you so bad! not even sexually (although he does) it's just a matter of a new level of intimacy#that drives him wild and spills over when drunk in a single-minded way#ok goodnight#bun.writes#char.katsuki#suggestive ?#bakugo x reader#bakugo katuski x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo headcanons#bakugou headcanons
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monologue
#they said i couldnt have a worse speech bubbles to image ratio and i said 'bet?'#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#two hats spoilers#isat#lucabyteart#sifloop#not rlly but it gets the tag in case ppl r backscrolling my tags on my blog for some reason#anyway this dialogue has been kicking around in my files for about 2 months as it is known to do & i wanted to play with typesetting#'write a fic if you like words so much' absolutely not . what if it was pictures instead. and also i wanted an excuse 2 loop gradient#but yeah uhhhh this is very . very loosely the result of me thinking about the 'island is trapped in the fucking future' theory.#like if so. would it just like. reappear. when the rest of the world catches up w where it was stuck in time. like . 20 more years on.#and thus the q: god wait at what point would sif be older than the age they last knew their parents to be. theyre nearly 30 now so like.#you can see my logical path thru these thoughts yes? anyway i think its fun when these two put their braincells together to realise#the horrors. and kind of exclusively the horrors. wahoo!!!#anyway food for thought re: island reappears and to the islanders it's not been any time at all. but its been like 30 years for the rest#fuck do you do: your boy returns 30 years older plus a family (maybe even a child) and minus . a fucking eye.#also theres a fucking angel with them? update. thats also your boy what the fuck. wait fym theyre married. hold on. wait--
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Just had a friend show me a conversation in a fan discord about Suvi as a Black American woman in the context of the fallout from the election. And honestly? Yeah. The blueprint is simple: Black women are expected to put their own priorities and emotions on hold to show up for everyone else's battles and hold endless space for everyone's feelings while simultaneously weathering attacks on our character (oh she's so angry/aggressive/violent/rude) and authority (she's a woke hire/affirmative action quota/nepobaby) without complaint. We're expected to save the day under nigh-impossible circumstance, and with fewer resources and support that is AT BEST, conditional.
So yeah, relistening to Suvi's speech in The Witness hurts now. Because that's exactly the feeling I'm wrestling with, and what I see mirrored in the Black women around me. We are exhausted and angry and sad. Those voter percentages are a betrayal of "we" that was promised by other marginalized groups when speaking of the interconnectedness of our liberation. And the unexamined expectation that we immediately rise from the depths of our despair to prepare for the next fight is a cruelty. Suvi isn't real, but if this helps lend empathy toward actual Black women in the world, then I'm glad.
#worlds beyond number#the wizard the witch and the wild one#there's a reason I spent so much time scrapping with fans misremembering plot#always with the aim of painting Suvi as 'the bad/mean one' universally responsible for any party friction#i've clocked dozens upon dozens of threads maligning her and nitpicking every choice she makes#and holding her alone to a ridiculous standard of behavior#while rooting for her to experience enough pain/loss to bend her to their preferred trajectory#and dismissing her emotions as Citadel programming unworthy of consideration#it's just more fucking misogynoir at the end of the day#i saw a post calling her an abuser for not being *nice* enough to Ame when she arrived at the conclave#and all i can think is 'why do you need her to mask her VALID emotions for others' sakes?'#and then i remember she's a black woman#and i get really tired for her (and me)#don't worry#i'll return to funky lil shitposts and art reblogs soon
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Honestly, there is a certain type of fetishizing of violence that occurs when you are the victim of abuse - wherein people talk directly to you about how much they fantasize about your abuser/s dying and being killed - "all abusers must be killed!" they say.
As a victim of prolonged abuse, I never felt cared for when people indulged that information to me. It often feels like my abuse is being exploited for others to enact their own violent fantasies and secret desires - my abuse means nothing to them in the same way that I didn't matter to my abusers. It's not support - it's just another cycle of violence.
I'm begging people to care more about victims and survivors than they do about retribution of abusers. Nowhere along the way should your focus on the abuser outweigh the people affected by their abuse. If you truly want to support abuse victims and survivors, start with us
#mental health#abuse#abuse recovery#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#i for one find it SO insulting when people take MY abuse story and make it about THEIR homicidal fantasies toward my abusers#let me be selfish and say: let MY experience if abuse be MINE#that's a position i hold for every victim and survivor. it is YOUR story and you at the LEAST deserve to narrate it as YOU see fit#maybe you DO agree and wouldn't care if your abuser/s died. that's not up to us to decide for you though#and you CERTAINLY don't need other people to speak *for* you about how you ought to feel
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#discord#discord chat#out of context discord#submission#admin boa#food //#it bothers me#people are using not-rollout cookie dough and then getting surprised when it doesnt hold its shape#you have to have a higher dry to wet/butter ratio for it to keep its shape
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Fic Idea where Fiddleford helps Stan rebuild the portal, but Stan finds out that Fiddleford has a wife and he's like
"You have a WIFE?? That DIDN'T marry you to steal your car and money???? What are you DOING here???"
"Yeah, well.... She's better off thinking I'm dead somewhere....."
"A WIFE. That LOVES you. Get outta here and go explain yourself, Idiot!!"
"She and our son shouldn't have to deal with--"
"YOUR SON???!!?!!??"
Anyways, so Stan helps Fiddleford reach out and explain himself to his wife, but expresses that he wants to keep being in Gravity Falls, so his wife and kid go to live with them in The Shack instead.
Blah blah blah, bonding happens, Stan bags Fiddleford AND his wife and becomes a step dad, God bless 🙏
#I don't see enough of Fiddleford's wife ngl#i just want Stan to be loved#this fic idea has been in my mind for ages 🙏#LET THEM BE POLYAMOROUS AND IN LOVE!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!#Stan is such a poly bi-con TRUST 🙏#Stan and Fiddleford's wife help Fidds stop using the memory gun#Fiddleford and his wife help Stan feel loved#JUST HEAR ME OUT THEY COULD HAVE A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP#Tate gets 2 dads for the price of 0#cause in canon Fiddleford left when he was a baby and lost his mind so he didn't get any dads#let that kid grow up in an unbroken house hold 🙏#omg you know how in canon Tate works at the bait shop next to the lake#Stan would SO take Tate fishing#he would be such a good dad guys give him a chance😭#cole's talking#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddlestan#fiddleford x stanley#fiddleford x fiddleford's wife x stanley#just hear me out guys 🙏#fiddleford's wife
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Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him
Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.
It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.
So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.
Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.
Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).
Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?
All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.
Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.
One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.
They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.
Memes For The Vibes:
#captain's posts#this has been haunting me#the flash/any of the speedsters:*exist*#danny:*can feel the speedforce on them* i like your vibe funny man#basically danny is actually an alternate version of Ra's Al Ghul and gets chucked into the dc vesrse#because natural portals are bitches hijinks ensue#and while i do love batfam adopting danny i think its very funny for flash to just yoink him while the big bad bat isn't looking#i desperately need him and tim to be besties tho specifically before they find out danny is an alternate Ra's Al Ghul#danny:*sitting in a park and tinkering with some circuitry* oh hey flash :)#flash: hey kid! great news i might be adopting a kid soon!#danny: oh really? thats cool-#flash:*holding out adoption papers and doing his best puppy eyes* its you. sign here.#danny:*vague memory of clockwork complaining about speedster pops into his mind* hmmm#danny:*deciding to be a little shit cause what else do you do when you're almost a year into being stuck in an alternate dimension* >=)#danny: sure why not? soooo full name or what?#flash:*didn't expect to get this far* uh-#i also really like danny being clockworks apprentice/time line clean upper so danny just remembers cw bitchin about the speedsters#also cause im a sucker for tim x danny...#tim:*having a crisis cause the cute meta kid he befriended/has a crush on may or may not be a vlone of Ra's Al Ghul* aaaaasaaaaaaaasaaaaaaa#dick: you okay buddy?#tim:*aggressively points at the dna match of danny to Ra's Al Ghul on the bat computer* AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#dick: Oh-#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dpxdc
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bro will master art just for her
#guys you dont know how much i love them#& this concept. really#i always loved drawing my crushes#even after i got over the last one i still hold the drawings dear to me#we'll see what happens when i get over my current crush haha#murder drones#md#md fanart#murder drones fanart#nuzi#uzi x n#uzi doorman#serial designation n#n murder drones#my art#fanart#hamo stop yapping in tumblr tag challenge impossible
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ENG PLAYERS I BESEECH YOU
I have been informed that you guys are getting part 4 of episode 7 tomorrow, which means we are FINALLY going to get the official romanization of Revaan's name, somebody please tell me because I need to know what it is.
like, yes, it's probably just Revan/Levan, but look, I'm sitting here with my finger over the button of all these Laverne and Shirley jokes and just waiting for the opportunity to deploy them --
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#(not me realizing that meleanor doesn't actually appear non-silhouetted until part 5 so uhhhhh. whoops.)#(i know a bunch of you read the spoiler-tagged stuff though so i'm putting my life in your hands)#revan would be the funniest one i think because it's just raven but with the vowels switched and i'd be over here going WHAT COULD IT MEAN#anyway i'm here to give the people what they crave and it's obviously references to 70s american sitcoms that spun off of happy days#mork and grimdy. i-is that anything.#the problem of course is now that i might have to actually come up with a bunch of laverne and shirley jokes#when i haven't...actually watched it in a million years#(my personal pool of media i consumed growing up is a good 60% made up of random things i found to watch at 3 am because of insomnia)#(this probably explains a lot about me) (the opinions about zorro adaptations anyway)#hold on let me marathon all eight seasons and -- wait i'm just now finding out there was also an animated series#in which they joined the army and their sergeant was a literal cartoon pig but also they went to space and fought giant gorillas?#but how does boo boo kitty factor into this
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My beautiful boyfriend @spellboundcities made art of the wonderful DDVAU (made by @xmaruu11 and @kitsuneisi respectively) and, obviously, i took that as a CHALLENGE!
So here's some fanart for a wonderful AU!
#are they holding hands? are they not holding hands? the better question is ARE YOU A NARC? /ref#i looove this au#i binge read every single thing i could when i found it months ago#and then my beloved partner#my darling angel#had the AUDACITY#to draw fanart BEFORE ME! /lhj /nsrs#so i could not let that stand#ddvau#ddvau fanart#desertduo vigilante au#trafficshipping#hermitshipping#technically but not technically?#gtws fanart#grian fanart#my art#the textposts were supplied to me by my beautiful boyfriend#with brown eyes#he tells me what to do and i say yes sir#on it boss
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Finished :D
#Let me know if you want to learn about the process for this one#full disclosure: I roughly traced my reference image#because I didn't want to hold myself back with anatomy and proportions when all I wanted to do for this was studying colour#and trying to find the right colour balance#studying texture and how to render things...#I really like how this turned out!#I have a few more leyendecker studies planned but this is finished for now#malevolent podcast#digital art#artists on tumblr#malevolent#arthur lester#arthur lester malevolent
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