#What the fuck French pronounciation

[chryseiswriting-blog]

Fuck all y’all. I’ve been pronouncing it Jean like blue jeans and I ain’t about to stop just cause some French man on YouTube told me how it’s actually pronounced 😤

Jan?!? JJJAN? Like JAUN!????

YOU SERIOUSLY WANT TO TELL ME IT RHYMES WITH SEAN AND IS CLOSER TO SAN AND JAN THAN APPLE BOTTOM JEANS, BOOTS WITH THE FUR?!?

No. Denied. Go home, you’re drunk.

[ymdslf]

nothing humbles me quite as much as trying to order food in france

[8ubblemint]

i'm starting uni in less than a week and i'm scared shitless

[thatdeadaquarius]

OKAY BUT I HAVE MORE IDEA FOR BLUNT READER CUZ I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCHANDMDJFKSLDKF

So you know how french people's insult are always outta pocket (from a person who's first language is french I can tell you that no other language compares in insult -apart for African languages)

Like,, some "bad" insult here would be : bitch, fuck off, whore,..

Which we can all agree is boring...

BUT THEN IN FRENCH!!!

We be getting creative with it

Eg.

"mange tes mort" wich translates to "eat your dead (relatives)"

"vas te fair enculer" means "go get yourself pegged in the ass"

(yes, we have a specific word for being fucked in the ass 💀)

AND THOSE WOULD BE THE COMMON ONES AS WELL

English could never compare ✨

BUT ANYWAYS

how would the characters react if reader was from france/ belgium/ canada(or any other french speaking country) and started cursing people out like they eould do in their home countrie !?!?

The eay their face would drop

We would make a couple of people cry

AND GOD(us haha) FORBID A KID OVER-HEAR US AND STARTS REPEATING US

Trying to un-teach them would be hell *cries*

Your thoughts?

Love yaaaa~

ABSOLUTE TOP TIER ORAH MY BELOVED!!

Nobody has any idea how much I HATE ENGLISH both for its rules/pronounciation BS/etc. But also, most importantly, THERES LIKE NO GOOD CUSS WORDS- OR LIKE CUSS PHRASES??

I HAD TO PUT THIS GIF BC THAT WAS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAD THE REALIZATION TO LOOK UP OTHER LANGUAGE CUSS WORDS AND I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THEY WERE- HOW CREATIVE- 😫😭🥲 ENGLISH WHY R U SO SHITY IN EVERY POSSIBLE LANGUAGE SITUATION-

like idk we got "eat shit and die / fuck off / go fuck yourself" ???? Like- thats pathetic 😟.

I love hearing someone just cuss smbody out their native language/non-english, it’s so badass and cool to see

Anyway u already know i love non-native english speakers from the bottom of my heart✨️

GOD I FUCKING LOVE BLUNT LANGUAGE AU ITS LIKE ONE OF TOP FAV AS U CAN PROBABLY GUESS I COULD WRITE A LITERAL FANFIC ENTIRELY OFF THIS SIMPLE PREMISE 💖💓💗💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

omg so i HAVE SPECIFICALLY HEARD ABT FRENCH BEING RLLY CREATIVEEE

and i researched french cusswords/phrases,,,

😭 BRO IM CRYING

“bête comme ses pieds!” IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR-

(trans: you’re as stupid AS YOUR FEEEEEETT)

idk what’s funnier, you translating urself in real time and saying all these phrases to ppl,

OR just scaring the ever-loving shit out of every teyvat citizen within a mile radius bc oh wow- you look pissed, so yeah somebody’s about to lose all their self-esteem for the rest of their life bc ur insults are known to be extra cutting bc ur so blunt-

OH CREATOR ABOVE (…oh creator, present??)- you changed to your holy language FOR THIS???

everybody just giving the npc the most bombastic side-eye for pushing you to do this,

or even just you stubbing ur toe/ate food when it was too hot

or my favorite, getting onto ppl like Wanderer when they do smth silly lmao

STOP I HAD A FOUL THOUGHT OF GETTING ONTO Ei AND WANDERER (like ei for not keeping him/at least giving him to someone else to raise, then all the shit he did as Scaramouche lol)

AND THIS CUSSWORD COMES OUT UNDER UR BREATH OR SMTH- DOES THIS FIT BC THIS KILLS ME:

“Putain de salope…” (whore of whore, I LIED IT MEANS FUCKING BITCH LMAO😭)

JUST GETTING THE MOM AND THE SON IN ONE FULL BREATH CRYINGGGG

STOPPP wanderer using it against other ppl ever since u used it lol

oh no stop dont bring the kids into thisss 😭😭

Klee would deffo be the first one to pick up ur words and use them, omg she just uses them as catchphrases like when throwing her bombs 💀

“Mange tes mort!” JUST WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AS SHE THROWS HER HUGE SKILL BOMB INTO A FISH POND

Venti would definitely make sure the winds “pass along phrases of the sacred All-God language!”

which just means anyone who UNDERSTANDS YOU JUST GETS GENTLY CREATIVELY CUSSED OUT BY THE WIND IM SOBBINGGG

☆

i hope u guys are having a great summer! its basically too hot to go outside where I am, not unless ur going straight into the water or smth

which hey, ill be doing that this weekend, floating down the river about an hour away from my house with friends! :]

which,,, if anyone sees this, U GOTTA HELP ME THINK OF A 1000 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE THING TO DO IDK WHAT TO DO BUT I WANNA CELEBRATE IT BC I NEVER THOUGHT THATD HAPPEN!! lmk what u think in the comments if u read this!

☆

Safe Travels 0rah,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi

[zimt-deathnote]

does mello teach matt any croatian or german,, or other languages he speaks?

Mello and Matt both lerned German and Russian at Wammy's (Mello probably also took French because he's an overachiever and Near took it as a first foreign language and he needs to trump that little brat >:((( ).

Matt picks up some Croatian from Mello as he mutters it a lot under his breath or straight up yells it at people. He sometimes asks what certain phrases mean but he maps most of it by context in his head.

But yeah, I think they have a little heated discussion at Wammy's as to where the hell the difference between the Croatian č, ć, dž, đ, š, ž is - that's all the same sound??? And Mello gets really agitated trying to get the right pronounciation out of Matt "No it's CH not SH don't you hear the difference?? Come on, try again, what's this one?" "Sh :)" "OH FOR FUCKS SAKE, MATT, IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT"

Matt's just trying to annoy Mello as much as possible at this point.

[youraveragecatastrophe]

Rating VILE operatives' codenames in french

(Season 1 edition)

Black sheep = Mouton Noir. Literal translation. It works. Longer and more of a mouthful than Black sheep though. 9/10

Crackle = Crackle, or should I say Craqueul. God does the french accent shine through in those English words, it's embarrassing. Anyway they didn't try very hard but Crackle is nice. Short, sweet, straight to the point. Though it's not a french word, it's close enough to french words and onomatopoeia like crac and craquement to bring to mind electricity with a threatening edge. Deducting a point because it's still not that transparent for french speakers. 9/10

Le Chèvre = La Chèvre. YES YES THEY CORRECTED MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE!!! "Chèvre" is a feminine noun in french, you say "la chèvre" and never "le chèvre", it just doesn't make sense. I am so happy. 100000/10

El Topo = El Topo. You know what they say: if it ain't broke... Also very glad they didn't translate as there are few names in spanish. 10/10

Tigress = Tigresse. Literal translation, which works well bc the two words are very close. The french pronounciation keeps giving me a double take so I'll deduct a point. 9/10

Mime Bomb = le Mime Marteau ("marteau" literally means hammer but it's also a colloquial way of saying "crazy"). Okay I used to think it was fucking stupid but I was just an uncultured swine. It references Marcel Marceau, aka "le Mime Marceau", a french mime and actor. I do prefer Mime Bomb bc it's both funny and gives a subtle air of menace, while to me "marteau" only conveys weirdness, but Mime Marteau is pretty good too. 10/10 for the effort.

Dash Haber = Dash Haber. 0 effort and it's not even a pun in french, for fuck's sake. 2/10

Paperstar = Origamine. There's been an effort, I'll give them that. This is a portemanteau word of "origami" (don't think I need to explain this one) and "gamine" (feminine form of "gamin", french informal word meaning kid). Buuuut... why would Paperstar call herself a kid. Yes, she has a soft singsong voice and does that humming thing, but she doesn't really... make it part of her identity?? She looks young but she doesn't strike me as wanting to be called a kid. 5/10 because i'm still very lukewarm about it.

Cookie Booker = Cathy Compta. Cathy like the name and Compta as the shortened version of "comptabilité", as in "accounting". This is the worst name ever. I love it. It HAS to be the name of a character from an old game or show because they would never have just invented it for the 2019 show. It's cheesy and sounds absolutely terrible and it cracked me up, this is so classic Carmen Sandiego. 9/10

[bisonaari]

Rambling about the finnish language because I have thoughts. They probably won't make a lot of sense, but it's mostly for me hahaha

First of all if you haven't downloaded the app Drops, you should!! It's super fun to learn vocabulary so far, and the interface is soooo cute!! Idk how effective it is on the long term, but it can't hurt to practice more hahaha.

Then this should have actually been first but whatever lol. I'm having so much fun learning the language. I hadn't felt that since I started learning japanese in 2006, and I've tried maaaaany more languages since then lol. I'm genuinely looking forward to my duolingo everyday! Every time I understand a new word in a song or an interview or something it's like my brain has solved a new puzzle and the SEROTONIN I SWEAR

Finnish has started to sound familiar for me now? Like earlier today I was watching an estonian/finnish comparison video and when the guy started speaking estonian I was like "oh yeah I def recognise the intonation and a few words, but that's it". Then the other guy started speaking finnish and my brain had a moment of "OH!! I know this!!! This is our stuff!!" Like I don't even feel that with spanish, and my spanish is better than my finnish by a LONG shot lmao. (It's still shit though I'm like three years old toddler level lol)

Idk I wanted to say something else but I'm just so so so happy a a a a a

OH YEAH also I'm a dumb fuck and since my third language is japanese I've hard-wired myself into pronouncing stuff the japanese way every time a language is nor english nor french, and it PISSES ME OFF. Because I KNOW how to pronounce the sounds but my brain is like oh did you mean [japanese sound] lemme fix that for you NO I KNOW WHAT I MEANT LET ME SAY WORDS GDI

So here is a list of stuff that I need to deprogram

from japanese

U pronounciation. In japanese, u is like a y/u mix and it's so hard to undo once you start doing it URGH

Soft-rolled r. Rolling r hard is kinda bad manneers in Japan so I never really forced myself to do it

L/R confusion. Since it's the exact same sound for both in japanese sometimes I just L my R or roll my L it's so silly hahaha

From french

T/D stridulation. It's pronouncing t as ts and d as dz instead of a hard t or d. It's only found in quebec french and it took me A BILLION YEARS to learn when I moved here, and now I have to undo it???

Ä/A distinction. Already said it, but it's more of a matter of accent in french so I need to stop using them interchangeably

Learn to fucking read y/u and ö/o GDI BISON IT'S NOT HARD

Stress of the first syllable. Almost impossible for a french speaker BUT I SHALL PERSEVERE

From both:

THERE IS NO GENDERED PRONOUN IN FINNISH STOP THINKING ABOUT IT THEY DO NOT EXIST STOPPPPPP

Thank you for reading my scrambled mind lol. I'm training for another department at work and it's a lot of info so my brain is about to leak from my ears, and it shows in my writing lmao

[bonaesperanza]

Once again I participate in the "get to know your mutuals" chain mail meme (I'm 100% this is not the correct term but my brain is really fried atm), this time I was tagged by @stripedroseandsketchpads :D I feel like I do this every two months at least so I'm kind of out of people to tag who haven't done it recently, and I've also been kind of dissociated from Tumblr due to work stress so I don't remember if I added anyone new recently :/ So whoever wants to do it, let's pretend I tagged you :D

Last song I listened to: Them Crooked Vultures - No One Loves Me & Neither Do I - I just discovered this band! Even though it's made up of really famous people from other more famous bands! And I really like it!

Currently watching: The Borgias. So far it's... okay? I'm enjoying the character beats but the actual plotty plot (i.e. the politics and wars) is so slowly paced and overly linear. They seem really scared of the audience not getting it so they only allow one plotty thing to be happening at any given time, and they make sure to spell everything out at least once per episode. Which is... not what I'm used to in my historical political drama (quite the opposite in fact!). Perhaps I could have benefited from this approach if it were a fantasy world or a country I don't have much to do with (I remember having to open up a map of Scotland so many times while reading the first Lymond because they kept going from one city to the other and I didn't know where they were in relation to each other), but it's set in my own country and half of the "as you know" recaps are just basic Italian geography for the anglophone audiences lol. After the fifth time one well-educated character explains to another well-educated character that Florence is in the north-west and Naples is south of Rome, I kind of want to scream. The pronounciations are also all over the place - three guys are sitting at a table looking each other in the eyes and pronouncing "Medici" 3 incorrect ways, at least they could have streamlined it between the actors. Like far be it from me to demand proper pronounciation with the way Italians butcher English words constantly, but at least make it consistent! Luke Pasqualino is the only one pronouncing anything as it should be pronounced, and I really felt bad for him in that scene where Lucrezia keeps asking him to say her name and they're both repeating it over and over, because he's the only one pronouncing it correctly while she's saying it as if she had a mouth full of rocks. Btw my favourite Holliday Grainger fucking up the Italian scene so far is when she needs to ride breathlessly up to the French king and say a long line about her brother Juan the Gonfaloniere and basically she's supposed to repeat "Gonfaloniere" several times and you can literally see her going "my brother is the gonfalonsajkdnajsdsbaj" and making a "fuck it, whatever" expression when she gets to the complicated part. Anyway I am enjoying the show, the pronounciations make me laugh they don't make me mad. And the costumes are gorgeous!

Sweet/spicy/savory: Savory or spicy, depending on the mood. I dislike sweet things.

Current Obsession: Nothing really, I've been really tangled up with RL things and am feeling vaguely anhedonic because I keep thinking about work, so it's hard to get into something haha. This is actually why I'm able to focus on the Borgias, because they have quite low bandwidth requirements (i tried to watch it before and found it slow-ish). This too shall pass I suppose :)

[musigrusi]

Aight this is Pt.2 of my list, enjoy

Part 1

Farah

HABIBI MY SISTERRRR

Will cook Couscous all day every day for her istg

Inshallah may your days be forever blessed and your plans always sucessful

Mashallah

The rEAL kind of Tea Time with pine nuts and everything, fight me

Will probs bicker about different pronounciations, 10/10 tho

I will make use of all the bomb/arab jokes I have been told and rate em with her. Will also make use of my new bomb skills I learned from Soap lol.

Throwing shoe contests

Alex

I feel like he would be the kind to speak arabic with that horrible western accent

Will defo tag team with Farah to make fun of him

Will also console him when he feels bullied

"You're doing great baby, it aint your fault you are linguistically challenged. DW we still love you"

That kind of shit

Will teach him niche curse words and tell him it's a compliment

Will watch from afar how he gets decked by Farah lol

He has a crush on Farah, say what you want. And I will bully him relentlessly about it.

I will, however, be his wingman and tell him all the things she likes/dislikes. Will teach him how to cook and season AND, most importantly, how to evade the flying shoe™

Laswell

MOTHER

I wanna be adopted by her and her wife

Will chase her with adoption papers until they are signed

That is all

Thank you for comming to my TED Talk

Valeria

The love hate of siblings, but make it two sisters.

Don't touch my stuff or I will eat your liver

But also don't touch her or I will eat your liver

Will throw chanclas at her for no reason

I can see her make my blood boil by teasing and annoying me

But I would give that vibe back tenfold

Will start a new rumor abt her and Alejandro every week

Will make and execute plans to lock her and him in a room and shit like that.

Gift her a cool shirt and wait until she wears it comfortably as her PJs before telling her that it's Alejandro's

Will send video footage of her sleeping in it and then her finding out to Alejandro and all of Los Vaqueros

Roach

I don't have too much to go off of him but the mother instincts are tingling

Teach me ASL, this is not a request, thank you

I *will* mother him just as badly as Gaz and Rodolfo, if not more.

Can't handle spice? Blasphemy, but I shall make you a serving with minimal spice.

König

Strap in, this is gonna be a long one

Listen up you Austrian Fuck

Honestly, I feel kinda bad for him because,

If he speaks English, I would have a meltdown over his pronounciation

If he spoke German, I would have a laugh flash over his dialect.

There is no way he could evade my bullying

Constant bickering over whose pronounciation is correct.

Listen you fuckwhipe, it's "Brätzel" with a nice and short ä NOT "BREEEEETZEL" OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU CALL IT.

This would all be in good humor

Not

Will bond over mutual hate of English and American"bread" listen, i dont know what bread ever did to offend you so much to lead you down such a dark path of mutilating its recepie but pls come back to the light

Cook off, because I like Austrian dishes and I will bribe him with Maultaschen, Röschti and Fondue.

Will have him speak French for comedy (have you ever heard an Austrian speak French? You are missing out on A-tier commedy my friend)

Mutual agreed silence

The germanic awkwardness is not felt between us.

The 'tism will also be happy, 10/10

Will force it to cuddle

Horrible Schlager and Après-Ski playlists playing on enless loop just to piss him off

Will use increasingly cringey pet names on him

Mausi/Müüsli, Schatzi/Schätzeli, Schnuggeli, Gaggibolle, Pupser, Zuckerschnute, Zimtschnecke/Schnäggli, (Creme)Schnittchen, Spatzi/Späzzli, Schnuggelpupser, Hasi/Hääsli, Bärchen, Entchen

Listen I have an endless list not only in German, but Swiss German too, which is infinitely more cringe fight me

I would not be above using French and Italian terms of endearment either because, do you know how sappy they are? You'll get a stroke just hearing them

Mon bijou, Amore, mon chéri, Caro, mon âme, Tesoro, Chouchou, mon coeur *insert gagging*

Can't rlly curse him out in my dialect since there's a 85% chance he'd understand it all, but also

He could not curse me out in his dialect bc there's an 90% chance I'd understand it all lmao.

Can and will constantly complain that he is TOO DAMN BIG and promptly abuse him for whatever one can use a large strong man for.

Will compliment on said strength and revel in his subsequent shyness over the compliment.

I could see myself be overly agressive with compliments for the sole benefit of turning him beat red or very quiet.

I love Nietsche and Kafka, two german speaking authors that the majority of german speakers hate with a burning passion. Naturally, if he were bed ridden with injury or sickness, I'd read him works of the two to him.

I am such a kind and compassionate friend, am I not?

Anyways that is all lol enjoy

[oaxleaf]

mag 102 - nesting instinct

SOMEHOW i did not notice the bug wife stuff the first time i listened to this. i must not have been paying attention to it cause all i remembered was that it was in french. so imagine how horrified i was when i heard second hand what it was actually about. like, i don't fucking know how i didn't notice?!

but, um, yeah. this episode has a lot of classical corruption traits - a desperate ache for been loved and needed being quite prominent. personally i wouldn't fulfill that through a bug but eh. i've never been much for marriage lol. i've heard people say that the french pronounciations here kinda suck, which, based on how jonny says 'ny-ålesund' is not exactly unbelievable. still, always fun to hear statements set in places beyond england

elias is, predictably, fucking useless. i get why he's being like that but honestly this might be the most infuriating behaviour he's displayed yet - i hate him more for being frustrating than for murdering leitner tbh. stan melanie king for wanting to kill him even if at the cost of all their lives - a decision that is surprisingly much like a smaller scale version of what jon ends up doing. they are, truly, so similar. still, like always, her anger and emotions come in the way of her being able to express her quite frankly pretty rational conclusions

what do you imagine it's like working in any part of the institute that isn't the archives? do you just hear about these weirdos running around and dying? are most of them paranormal enthusiasts or academics that just couldn't find positions anywhere more reputable? they live generally pretty normal lives, right?

[feardot-com]

sometimes i like to think that if the lost boys encountered someone from Quebec they’d laugh

because as québécois we don’t swear normally at all, we go “Osti de tabarnak de sacrament, de câlice de ciboire de criss de marde!” which is basically just saying fuck in different ways

i had this conversation a while ago with a friend and i love pretending that it’s one of the boys in my friends place

my friend: dude, dude, i just learnt a new french word, what does it mean?

me: what’s the word?

my friend: Tabarnet

me: do you mean tabarnack?

my friend: yeah tabarnette !! what does it mean?

me: it’s basically tabernacle, a holy word but we use it as fuck

my friend then goes up to all his friends and just yells “TABARNEK”

he never did get the pronounciation right but it was so funny

[whoreslut-supreme]

Actually i have a story from a couple months back cause it's funny. There was an english competition and the first elimination round was at my school, the second at the school the competition itself was in and the competition as a whole. So at the first round we just had to listen to a recording of someone reading a text and write it down. So yeah, i did that, i just wasn't sure about a single word that appeared a few times. The girl who was sitting next to me asked the teacher later what was that word, and she told us. Except. Later on, i was told that i did it perfectly. As in, no mistakes. Which means i guessed the word right. But the word the teacher gave us was different. So, by process of elimination, she must have told us the wrong word (she didn't read it from anywhere, she just told us, so i think she just said what she thought she heard). BUT WAIT there's more. The final round, so the actual competition, was different - we chose an envelope, there were ten words inside, and they got a guy who was american, so he had an accent, to read them out and we had to spell it letter by letter. Except. The guy did not know these words. And how do i know? He pronounced quite a few wrong. And this isn't me insulting him, they specifically chose words that were long, uncommon, complicated and had a lot of silent parts (i heard two that were french for some reason, but that only makes it funnier), so like, he had the full right to not know them just like that. Why didn't they give the words to him first, before the competition, so he can know what's there? No clue. They probably just had this idea and went "hey man, you're ✨american✨, so can you read them out in your ✨american accent✨ for us for a competition with monetary prizes?"

Meaning that not only did they not prepare the teachers for elimination rounds, fucked up the recording on the second elimination round (which i didn't mention, but it was a badly cut accidentally sped up, yes they said it was on accident, part of an audiobook that we had to write down on a way too small piece of paper), they didn't prepare the guy AROUND WHOM THE FINAL ROUND LITERALLY CENTERED, they also used words that aren't even english, with a non-english pronounciation, in an english competition.

So yeah, polish schools everyone. It's just exquisite how organized they are. I aspire to be like them.

[suttttton]

i started learning french, which will be my third language after english and arabic, and after 5 years of studying arabic i am FLOORED by how easy this language is

[naupactus]

i hate french. what do you mean the é doesnt mean that the e is the stronger syllable in the word. why is this language like this

[felikatze]

"German is complicated"

The German language: this is a shape with four corners. We call it “fourcorner”

[crowned-ladybug]

i saw your tags on the "marvin picking up french" post, and as a french person ( well, french canadian, but yee) i have to say that you description of french make absolute sense. this language is a big mess

thank you i’m glad to have my ideas about it backed up by a nativer speaker. so far i’ve only had the opinion of non-native speakers on the matter, mainly in the form of my many ex-classmates who took french and seemed to have greatly regretted it

tho let’s be honest all latin languages are a Mess bc latin itself is a Mess