#What am I even doing here?

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

I'm starting to get really upset here. It has happened repeatedly that a mutual couldn't see my posts and had to manually visit my blog. This has been going on for months. I thought it was a problem with her tumblr, but the way that except for once in a blue moon one of my posts gets a good reach, my posts have been getting little to no interaction for at least the same time. If it wasn't for my friend, I would wonder whether my posts are so bad or boring that my followers scroll past them.

I've tried to find out whether I was shadowbanned, but many of the features of being shadowbanned on tumblr don't apply. On the other hand, the fact that they refuse to appear in someone else's dash (that is strictly set to following without any additional features to "enhance the experience" turned on), is not normal social network behaviour. Ironically, my reblogs from other blogs get liked and reblogged all the time, which tells me that it's a me-problem.

It feels like no matter what I do, I remain invisible. I've started to reblog the posts I want to be seen, like writing posts, chapter posts etc but with zero effect, which is so so frustrating because I'm trying so hard to give my works more visibility. I'm used to twitter being fucked up, struggling on the last algorithm-free platform as well is downright disheartening.

[sophie-hatter-jenkins]

On Repeat Shuffle

Thanks for the tag, @nodirectionhome-ao3 and @thelighthousestale

Go to your “on repeat” playlist and hit shuffle!

Confession - I don't use Spotify, I'm an Apple Music person, so I used my Favourites Mix (which I didn't know existed until I googled for an equivalent, to that's a win!). Anyway, it gave me....

Honestly, I swear I do listen to must that is less than twenty years old! And more often than this list would suggest

Blur – Parklife

Kaiser Chiefs – I Predict A Riot

Aztec Camera – Good Morning Britain

They Might Be Giants – Birdhouse in your Soul

Happy Mondays – Step On

The Lightning Seeds – Pure

Soul Asylum – Runaway Train

Bon Jovi – You Give Love A Bad Name

Prince – Cream

Eurythmics – Here Comes the Rain

Not sure who hasn't been tagged in this yet! So I'm tagging: @practicecourts @ginnyw-potter @fizzyginfizz (but feel free to ignore!)

[phdmama]

Oh my gosh, you're blogging about hockey things and I'm now vibrating with excitement at such a high frequency oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh

Every time I think it would be impossible to love your blog more, you just add something else I like 💜🏒

HAAA I am so glad at least one person is fine with my descent into madness (AGAIN)!!

I grew up in a college town (D3) in winter state so I grew up going to high school and college hockey games but I never really made the transition to the NHL other than seeing the Bruins/Habs in the old Boston Garden once. I have, however, a long-standing deep-seated love of hockey spicy romances, published and fic, so honestly I'm not sure what took me this long??

So glad you're here for the ride! (Everyone else sorry, feel free to block the hockey tag, I'll do my best to use it haha!)

[cryptidcryptic]

Do you ever feel like someone has sawn your face in calf and one side is different to the other ahd someone else is running it?

[joshuamj]

Hero.

[coddda]

I wish we could have met in some other way.

Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates

If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3

Still frames/Individual gifs:

If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way

[inkskinned]

the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

[delicourse]

i miss them a little if im gonna be honest

[xxplastic-cubexx]

[right to left]

finally finished This Wip from Ever ago and so now i ask you ever look into another dudes eyes and suddenly want to do whatever he wants

[deep-space-lines]

okay but like. I just had the weirdest thought about that ‘don’t look I’m naked’ comic. Which is that that’s essentially the same thing Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of knowledge of good&evil. So I feel like the theological implications of that could kneecap Gabe if he doesn’t think V1 is a being with free will.

yeah ok. i dunno man. is this anything

((side note. this isn’t necessarily meant to be in-character or story-accurate or take place at any particular point in time, just a way to explore some Thoughts. i was also imagining more that V1’s words aren't actually spoken, more like Gabriel’s more articulate interpretation of whatever garbled mechanical noise V1 is using to communicate. I think an angel could do that.))

and then they fucked nasty the end

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Sublime Equine.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[theshenanijiang]

I love all y'all poll takers. Thank you for your votes!

[twinstxrs]

so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.

[teaboot]

tranny freak :)

[deskatt]

It's a sickness at this point

[frosted-woods]

autumn time to be gay and totally fine and not miserable at all