#Welcome to the rest of your life
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guppygiggles · 8 months ago
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I turned 18 an hour ago. I feel so grown up
💪💪💪💪
Happy birthday!
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inevitablemoment · 2 years ago
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Anyone want to hear me ramble about my Ghostbusters/Frighteners crossover?
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story-thief · 2 years ago
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YOURE RIGHT. IT WAS NEVER EVEN YOUR CHOICE TO BEGIN WITH.
*carefully yet swiftly scoops you up before marching off into the woods*
and now to add you to my collection!!
YOU THERE! GIANT!
You have been selected to hold me.
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THAT WASNT A HEKKIN REQUEST
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monstersinthecosmos · 1 month ago
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I read your answer, where did you say "Pandora is his actual type and Armand was his pet"
But how could Armand be just a pet for him? He is one of only three of his turned children. Marius speaks of him as the greatest love (along with Pandora). Although I see some hypocrisy in this. Marius loves no one as much as Pandora. But certainly more than just a pet
Well !
Babe the thing is that, I said what I said and it’s okay if you don’t agree!!! And I’m gonna take this opportunity to double down. (Assuming that you’re asking in good faith and not to pick on me for my analysis lmao please this fandom has traumatized me too much.)
(((TLDR the text never treats Armand like he’s Marius’s equal but also I never said that being a pet was a bad thing.)))
I want to start by talking about the concept of MAKER in VC and how canon tells us that vampires exist outside of human social constructs, including traditional family roles right? Like for example, the moment Gabrielle is turned, she ceases to be Lestat’s mother. 
But with Marius I think a lot about how he’s crafted a persona for himself, and tries to operate in a very rigid set of rules. And part of this is like, how determined he is to live by stoicism even when he’s a mess on the inside, but I also think about in TVL when he says that thing about how it’s easier to just knock a glass on the floor, and how he goes out of his way to appear more human and retain human gestures. 
So like, in the way a MAKER is kinda like, a parent/lover/companion/something too big for our tiny human minds to comprehend. We still get a Marius who is determined to be a father & mentor, and I think a lot about how his need for stoicism and humanity is probably also expressed with his need to be the paterfamilias. 
I’ve been also thinking a lot lately about Bad Fathers in Media—specifically people like Tony Soprano, Logan Roy, Roderick Usher—and how the toxic patriarchy affects their relationships with their sons. Tony Soprano in particular is one who resonates with me a lot when I think about Marius—Tony often indulges in anger because he enjoys being feared (he thinks it’s respect but it’s usually fear), and that’s a bit different on a material level from Marius “anger is too pathetic” de Romanus but they’re both sort of obsessed with the idea of stoicism and trying to be a ~ strong silent type ~ on the outside, even when they’re actually quite messy and emotional underneath.
But wait — put a pin in this for a second. We’ll come back to this, and the concept of fathers and sons. I want to pause real quick to swerve to clarify:
Armand being a pet isn’t a bad thing.
It wasn’t “pet (derogatory) 😒” —  it’s “pet (adorable creature that I care for) 🥰”.
Here’s the thing about MARIMAND if you will (I hate all the VC ship names oh my god theyre all hideous lmao) but like OKAY OKAY. THE THING IS. WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR IF WE’RE NOT INTO THE FUCKEDUPEDNESS ? 
Like I’m not telling anyone how to enjoy a ship, please have fun ! Do you! But to ME? That inter-species friction and 1,517 year age gap is like WHAT THE DYNAMIC IS ABOUT, THAT’S THE FLAVOR BABY!!! Anne Rice herself even said the book was about “a boy’s love for a monster” !!
WHAT’S THE POINT OF MONSTERFUCKER EROTICA IF HE’S NOT A MONSTER LOL
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And YEAH I get that not everyone wants to read TVA as a monsterfucker story. That’s okay! It also reads as a savior fantasy. But I enjoy the messiness of it—I LIKE that Marius is an apex predator & ghoulish ancient thing. I like that it’s problematic. I LOVE that Marius really does love him, though, amidst all these other themes. I find it SO compelling.
But I never once said that Marius doesn’t love him. Of course Marius loves him. What I said is that he loves Armand the way we love a pet. I would fucking die for my cats. I regularly burst into tears looking at my cats because I love them so much. But they’re fucking cats lmao.
I never for one minute forget that Marius isn’t human. He’s operating on a whole different wavelength with different points of references and ethics and life experiences. Like, people get so hung up on Armand being 17 and IT WOULD BE JUST AS BAD IF HE WAS 18 OR 25 OR 30 LOL. A frail little human cannot comprehend !!!!!
What’s interesting with Marius’s fledglings though is that he tends not to treat them as equals. Like I think you could read TVA thinking: Once Marius turns him, they’ll be real partners. But no, they stick to their mentor/mentee, dom/sub, father/son roles. We don’t have tons of examples in canon of other maker/fledgling relationships but it’s not a coincidence that Roman Patriarch Marius maintains status over his fledglings. Even once Armand is a vampire, he’s still not Marius’s equal, and Marius’s age and power are still held over him. 
BUT LIKE.
That’s weird, right?
I MEAN THE DARK GIFT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE but it’s interesting to me that Lestat & Gabrielle’s relationship completely dissolves once she’s a vampire, but Marius & Armand’s doesn’t.
(Sidebar that like, I think there’s also ways to acknowledge that if we think their relationship is good that it’s OKAY for them to maintain these roles because Armand WANTS to be his sub but let me focus on my point here. We should also make time to talk about diegetic BDSM and whether or not it’s appropriate to use a D/s framework for this discussion if the roles are baked into the text and not a choice for the characters and not a game they are agreeing to but that’s for another post.)
So back to the thing about fathers.
I’ve been thinking a lot about bad father characters, specifically Logan Roy and Tony Soprano (also bad mother Margaret Chenowith) and the impossible standards they give their children. Logan and Tony are both men who are disappointed in their sons for being soft, because they were able to provide better lives for their children. They both spoil their sons with all the material wealth that they did not have in their own lives. For Logan we see how badly he resents his kids—Kendall even accuses him of being jealous of what they have—and for Tony he seems to be at a loss on how to parse his feelings. Part of him literally hates AJ for being such a whimsical little fuckup, and at the same time he wants to protect that part of AJ and doesn’t even WANT AJ to follow in his footsteps. Still, he hates to see that AJ is spoiled with no work ethic, and doesn’t know how to set an example for him.
Everything in Venice is designed to spoil Armand with all the things Marius didn’t get—it’s such a specific & deliberate opposite of how Marius was turned. And I think him seeing Armand as a pet puts a little bit of distance between the hurt he’d feel if he thought of Armand as a true son, or even an equal. He doesn’t have to resent Armand for having it easier than he did, but also doesn’t have to feel extremely betrayed by Armand fitting in with the cult. Like, let’s never 4get that by the time Marius catches up with Armand, Armand is right at home and thriving with them. A CULT? THE THING THAT KILLED ME????? Marius has no idea what the fuck they did to him, he just knows that Armand settled in just fine and has discarded everything that Marius tried to teach him. 
I think these roles are appropriately all muddled because it’s VC—like we said, the No Social Constructs series—so like, how do we compare the words SON and PET and FLEDGLING and SUB, I’m not sure. But my point is that he’s never seen or treated Armand as an equal, and perhaps never even a full adult person. 
ARE THESE IDEAS CONFLICTING? A little. But that’s okay. Am I incoherent and ill-equipped to tackle this analysis or is it because Marius is not a consistent person and never quite lives up to the ideal he’s trying to be? Does he want Armand to be his pet but secretly has feelings? Does he fail at being a father figure? Is he brushing off his Big Big Emotions so that he doesn’t have to admit how wrecked and destroyed he is and how badly his feelings were hurt? Idk man. I’m sure you can send me another anon to tell me I’m wrong. 
I wonder sometimes if like, keeping Armand at this lower status (like a pet) actually protects Armand from Marius’s ire and disappointment. Marius is sort of a father, but sort of not. He’s crafted a role for himself that is never all the way sincere, and it allows him some space to protect his own feelings of betrayal and disappointment when it comes to Armand. Marius is also classically bad at following his own rules, and never quite sticks the landing on the people he’s trying to be. 
I can imagine a version of events where Armand does gain some ground with Marius, maybe pays his dues and matures into someone that Marius trusts and respects, but that’s not the version of events we get in canon. Marius turns Armand, Armand remains his pupil, they visit Kiev and Marius is jealous of Armand’s father, they make it all the way to the raid without Marius ever confiding about The Parents. Even in the present day, during a dispute, Marius tells Armand he has the savage & ignorant soul of a child. Even in the present day, Marius won’t stop calling him Amadeo!!!! 
And like!!!!! It feels like Marius is more upset about Santino wronging him by ruining his home and taking his toys than he is about what Santino did to ARMAND. It’s more about Marius’s own feelings and possessions than it is about Armand’s own feelings and experience of what happened. AN ARMAND FRIDGING, IF YOU WILL. 
Anyway.
By never seeing Armand as a complete person, Marius never has to feel threatened by him. We see this in toxic parents a lot. Like, I want you to be good, but I’m insecure if you’re better than me. Or I can never fully respect your feelings because I always see you as a child and not a fully grown adult. And the truth is that Marius is actually quite threatened by Armand, on the inside. He is very hurt. He cares what Armand thinks of him. He’s relieved at the end of BCtu when he assumes that Armand wants to open his heart again. 
So idk like. I think the books end with a little bit of a hope for them; we see a lot of growth and self-acceptance from Marius in the last book and it’s reasonable to assume that he and Armand might have a long chat and nice long cry and work it out. I don’t think it’s completely set in stone, but it’s nice to think about! A nice happy ending. And I wonder if this is when Marius finally takes Armand seriously and listens to what he has to say without demeaning him! 
Am I gonna add 2000 more words to this point by tying it what the whole like “I fear him because I could love him again” thing in TVA means? No I’m not. But like. Again! It’s okay to be a pet, I think Armand liked being his pet. :) 
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sirjo-esque · 3 months ago
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Somehow my outfit got even more Circe-coded today???
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goldkirk · 1 year ago
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When did the latest 1,000 of you follow me??? good lord hi and welcome, I should maybe pay attention to my notifications and activity page more 😭
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nihongoseito · 2 years ago
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@onigiriforears oh my god shay
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shared the さかな song with some friends tonight which was a great idea bc they loved it (who wouldn’t) but a bad idea bc now it’s going to be stuck in my head until death 🐟
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rolandkaros · 12 days ago
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holiday season sucks
#im chill about it and that's the part that kinda breaks my heart#being home these days feels like a freakshow#sucks worse this time because i actually was so excited to come home this year#and it really hit me like wow. this is just not the place for me#there's just no scenario where i feel good about it. even though i'm chill??#i guess what i mean is like. i'm not tearing myself up over any of it#i could be a lot more sad angry upset etc about it if i wanted but i just don't really mind#and there's a part of me that wishes that i cared more because i deserve to feel safe and welcome with my own family#but instead i just still here like :/ well. i guess this is just how it is.#and i'll spend the rest of my life coming home and feeling like the court jester#and i dont rlly miss it at all.#but its like i have this weird sense of duty. that i should be the best son i can be because i wasn't the daughter they wanted#and i just think of all the things i want to do that i know i'll never do because i have this thought in my mind of *maybe*#if im good enough for long enough then they'll get used to it. but i cant do anything else#i wasted all my rebellion on transitioning and anything further would be over the line#i should be proud of the person that i am and to almost everyone else i am proud#but to them i just feel like. well this is me i guess your disgusting cringefail daughter with mental illness#tryiing to make up for existing. whatever#and thats what the holiday season has become. which sucks.
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littleplantfreak · 5 months ago
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Mari I understand….the aritizia worker asked me, “do you want a bag, love?” and I was like O///O
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the real question is, did you get a bag?
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secondpersonpoetry · 12 days ago
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hi! oh my goodness. i am SO sorry i didn’t say anything earlier. i did read everything a couple days ago, and i Have been chewing on it, rotating it in my mind, etc etc…..and the graphic has been my phone lockscreen since i first read it!!!!!
frankly i am obsessed and have also been a little frazzled this month lol. saw your post late because of the general whirlwind that is december and then couldn’t quite get my thoughts into sufficient words n got worried “oh no would it be weird to say something now…..” which is incredibly silly in retrospect, so sorry for that. 
i’m relatively new to hockey fandom and the Narratives don’t always quite click for me (yet, at least :)) because i don’t know all of the lore for a lot of the popular pairings haha, so it means a lot that you’ve taken time out of your day to break things down for me and share your own thoughts <3 tysm. again, super sorry for the delayed response. i’m very sorry if you felt as though you’d wasted your time or something along those lines :’) just wanted to let you know that i really appreciate you and the time it took you to get everything down and make the graphic!!!! and like i can’t overstate how much your tags both over here and on your other blog have helped me to Get It since the start of this season, so thank you.
but now the house is quiet, the in-laws are gone, and no new work stuff until january :) so i can finally get some stuff down. every point you brought up hits in it own way but gosh you are very incredibly right the mcstrome of it all…..that’s sort of the lens i’ve been listening to the song through since you mentioned it.
the golden boy and the “draft bust” and the ever present notion of “isn’t it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?”.  like idk looking back on a bestfriendship from when you were a teenager that was Super intense and the lines were blurred and maybe realizing (if you hadn’t had the words or the “guts” or awareness or wtv to put a name to it at that point in your life) that y’all were a smidge more than just friends. 
best friends forever until you just aren’t! growing up and growing apart. it’s just the way things go but it can and will ache for a damn long time! you think you’re over it until their birthday or the holidays roll around and you wonder in a distant sort of way who they’re spending it with. what you would’ve hypothetically gotten them as a present if you still spoke. what do they even like nowadays, anyway?
maybe having the friendship end subtly. going from playing and traveling together and living in one another’s pockets to 2,080 miles of distance? (i may have my timeline/details confused here so sorry in advance) texting as much as you can at first but he’s a phenom he’s mcjesus he’s the next in line he’s expected to win the cup with his new team and end the drought for Canada. and they have him now but he was yours first, wasn’t he? but it’s fine. because you’re busy too. you’re captaining the team now. you’re gonna get the memorial cup that he couldn’t. it’s fine. you’re fine. you don’t even have time to worry about it anyway. 
one conversation a week turns to one a month turns to once in a blue moon turns to stale words until it goes cold. these days you can’t quite seem to remember who ended things, but does it really matter all that much now?
or maybe it doesn’t end like that at all. maybe it ends in a flurry of angry words and digs in some or other of the endless hotel rooms you’ve shared together over the years. who knows!
and that’s not even getting into the rest of the 2015 draft class. or the ld19 of it all! ooh hoo hoo. you grew up with him but he’s not your waiting room. he grew up with you but he’ll grow “old” (end his career) with someone else. and isn’t that just something! 
i don’t think it’s totally them, but sort of the sentiment of “I hope you get everything you ever wanted and I hope I never hear a word about it.” I want one ticket off of your carousel!!!! merry christmas, please don’t call!!!!!!!
dylan being sent up and down and traded around until finally landing in washington, a place where he is clearly at home and LOVED for the guy and player he is!!!!!!!! watching a game and seeing all the strome jerseys in the crowd……..wagh.
all that said. some other songs that are mcstrome to me in various ways: hot & heavy by lucy dacus (lol kinda the whole song). before the world was big by girlpool (“i just miss how it felt standing next to you wearing matching [jerseys? sweaters?] before the world was big”). happiness by Taylor swift (“i guess it’s the price i pay for seven years in heaven”), cut your bangs by radiator hospital (maybe? possibly? unsure. i like the whole dog thing there). i’m so glad i feel this way about you by insignificant other (!!!!!). there are so many THEM lyrics in there……..waough.
anyway. other things off the top of my head: 2015 connor specifically saying something like “hey let’s wait a minute so we can see this” to stand by the stage when dylan was getting drafted after him. MAN. you reminded me of the fact that they couldn’t even make eye contact at the handshake line!!!!!!!!! they didn’t go to each other’s weddings!!!!!!!!!! (do you think once upon a time they ever thought they’d being each other’s best man?). just a couple months ago dylan liking the tweet of connor getting that goal during the playoffs!!!!!!!! makes you wonder if he texted him………..
lol this was all over the place and i was probably wrong on some things and there’s SO much more that someone else could say way more eloquently, but i digress. i dunno everything about them is so nuts to me!!!!! needless to say i will be incredibly sat for the game january 21 🙂‍↕️
thank you again for your time :) hope you have a good one and a happy rest of the holiday season! <3333333
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what a lovely message to receive 🥰😭🥹 i had to break it up into chunks because i couldn't sit down to read all of it at once without just. bouncing right back up and shrieking. i am also at heart terribly shy so i understand the struggle but it is never too late to say something <3 you are always welcome here
first!!! i love sharing!! i think most of hockey tumblr loves to see people finding out the Lore for the first time and the wonderful thing about hockey is that. it keeps going on. so there's years and years and generations and generations and always something new to learn about. i've learned to just not be afraid to ask!!! between different teams and players i'm always discovering new narratives (learning about the sharks old man yaoi rn... cbj rarepairs...)
no... to my heart's despair... you have the timeline right. i think in the best most tragic sense there's a mcstrome narrative where it is truly that nothing went wrong. the love was there. we couldn't do enough to save it because we didn't see it slipping away. i didn't notice when you didn't call until you never did. i don't know you now but i still remember when i did, do you?
HE'S NOT YOUR WAITING ROOM?? passing out. i do see "i hope you get everything you ever wanted and i hope i never hear a word about it" as them because!! they didn't go to each other's weddings!!! i don't wish you harm but i'm not going to put myself through that!! i hope you're happy and i'm never going to look on purpose.
i love dylan strome so much and the best part is that they all love him so much too. he wore a cool vintage ovechkin jacket!! and got slapped in the face with a tortilla!! he loves to gently rag on the rookies!! it just takes some time, everything'll be just fine. you're only on the middle of the ride.
OKAY WHEN I READ THIS PART I SCREAMED BECAUSE I DO HAVE A MCSTROME PLAYLIST AND!!!! HOT & HEAVY BY LUCY DACUS IS IN FACT ON IT!!! SO IS CUT YOUR BANGS (BUT BY GIRLPOOL SO DOUBLE JINX)!!!! i have dorothea by taylor swift on there but i don't know happiness so i'll have to give all the other songs a listen. mostly i just shrieked because i was like NO YOU GOT THE VIBES EXACTLY
🧠〰️🧠 truly the mind meld happening here. the handshake line. the mutual wedding non-invitations. i won't block your number or your name on twitter i just hope i don't see it come up on screen!! i do think that we got confirmation the last time they played each other that dylan did text him to say congrats on a milestone but i would have to check the archives
p.s. i think you said it perfectly eloquently :) what matters is that you said it at all and i was delighted to read it 💕
#liv in the replies#HI HI HI HELLO!!! IT'S SO NICE TO HEAR FROM U i hope u have a lovely quiet end of the year <3 with lots of time to rest & find ur own joy#& YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SORRY!!!! <33333 ANY MESSAGE IS A GOOD ONE!!! WHEN I TELL YOU I 🥹💕😭☺️🥰🦋💕💗‼️‼️❣️❣️ UPON RECEIVING THIS HEARTS FOR THU#ALSO IMPORTANT😭😭 I DIDN'T MEAN TO GUILT TRIP U I HOPE U DIDN'T TAKE IT THAT WAY i personally just. need to work on reblogging my own stuff#i hate reblogging my own fic announcements even so i was like listen this is for ME because EYE want it here and that's FINE. ok brain???#and also i think i have just accepted the slide that there WILL be hrpf here mostly because i keep tagging it but i always don't want to#plug this blog over on cbpc-hrpf or anything bc do you really need to follow me in multiple places or is that just being greedy you know.#obviously i don't because why else would i be dithering in the tags. anyway tl;dr i consider u beloved & also my friend welcome in the dms#at any time always. i hope everybody knows just yeet yourselves in there i am a Yapper and i love discussing. getting asks is one of my#favorite things :))) & getting messages from people is how u make friends!!! sometimes u tell people u love their work & now u are bffl <3#we all have like. Quintessential Moments that are secretly niche & the joy of going U DON'T KNOW ABOUT IGUANA WRESTLING??? is unmatched#also do you want to publish that poetry like?? hit after hit after hit. three paragraph six feet under. put it on the ao3 second person pov#dylan strome sitting at his fogged up kitchen window looking at the snow outside in washington the same as it was in erie the way it never#was in arizona and thinking about you know. maybe you know now what it was then. and does it matter? and in the end#he sees his girls run through the yard snowballs in their hands when he's done thinking everything through and he puts on his mittens and#walks out the door to his life. into the cold unknown you know. honorary fuckin' mention to what has secretly been percolating in my head#ever since i said the fogged glass window which is the one that knocks ME the fuck out every time but is so strongly a dylan/zach song to m#dream song by shallow alcove. just wanna press my nose up to the glass of your life. EYE cannot mcstrome w/that but it is incredibly vibes#also just. the queer experience of that Intense Friendship that you’re like WOW uh. maybe i need to think some things now. assigned to Them#HELP SOS what is ld19??? you will have to come explain this to me i fear. oh no you have to send me another message 😈 my brain said leon#but also london knights because mitch marner and the draft class of 2015. also had to laugh like i started singing phoebe bridgers waiting#room then immediately went into the argument of defying gravity 'i hope you're happy' (OBCR) because. i think they wish they could be spite#maybe. but maybe they know they only want them to be happy. also with the handshake... me when i. think about updating the goodnight chicag#cam now that stromer's in washington goodnight chicago goodnight indeed. DO WE EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT KITTY?? DEBRINCAT???? ALSO IN ERIE#also me🤝you🤝 caps/oilers game. they're like oh are u sick of the mcstrome teammates broadcast and i say no never thank u with my popcorn.#mcstrome
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bardnuts · 11 months ago
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OH MY GOD
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asurrogateblog · 11 months ago
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one thing I really appreciate about nick’s book is that, although there are plenty of sins of omission (e.g., the cocaine use; a lot of the infidelity), he is very open about how they treated syd. he doesn’t sugarcoat it or attempt to defend their behavior. instead he reflects honestly about how they were not at all compassionate to syd’s situation at the time, and that their prioritization of the band’s success over his wellbeing only made things worse for him. it needed to be said, and I really appreciate nick for not attempting to save face over what is clearly a very touchy subject
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chloecorvid · 2 years ago
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Welcome Home by @partycoffin​ is right up my alley and has been consuming my thoughts for the past month. Finally bit the bullet and started making some fanart of this Silly Guy! 
I have some ideas for actual videos (ooh hoo hoo!) to make down the road dedicated to this wonderful project, but for now have this art and the spotify playlist I’ve been making based on it!
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  🌈☎️ A “Welcome Home” Fan Mix 👁✨ ...Enjoy, Neighbor~
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skeletalheartattack · 1 year ago
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thamks
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you after i free you from the tetrisphere
#ask#anon#im not sure what the thanks is for without assuming it to be like ''thanks. for those tags.''#anyway youre welcome? youre free from the tetrisphere now. find and enjoy life. out from the egg made of tetronimoes youve hatched from.#or whatever.#im still recovering from that nap#its fucked. i nap on my bed sometimes if i havent had enough sleep earlier in the day. and instead of using the bed normally#my ass just sleeps at the end. watching my moavies (youtube streams)#like a dog#ended up having to wake myself up cause i had my legs rested over a nearby table cause the width of the bed is not very wide#and my body feels so good when i wake up. scrunched up and shit. i feel So normal#anyway tetrisphere is a game i got long ago that. i dont know from where.#i either got it from a yard sale. or ebay. but im leaning towards yard sale. since it was around the same time i got hey you pikachu#also did you know the mic quality for hey you pikachus microphone is actually pretty decent#anyway i dont remember a lot about tetrisphere beyond you picking a robot to play as. and you drop tetrominoes onto a fucking ball#i completely forgot you freed a thing from within#as for why this was the first thing i used to reply to the ask. anytime i get an ask im not sure how to respond to. i look through my phone#and. this tetrisphere image made me laugh seeing it back when i first downloaded it#i think i had more i wanted to say but im at a loss for words now that im looking at this image again#its so beautiful and hes so free#that is how baby birds leave the egg. but opposite. they do it from the inside. instead of needing tetrominoes to open the egg.#can you tell im still not fully recovered from my fuckim nap#anyway thanks for the ask anon. i think!
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neverbelessthan · 1 year ago
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Just having such totally normal PG thoughts about this.
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dove-da-birb · 1 year ago
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"The worst thing you can do with your life is spend it with the wrong human being."
My good people, I give you: Amatonormativity.
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