#Weird shit in the mirrors and stuff like that.. the mirror scenes were all very awkward and I did not enjoy them. However I will say the

[dykevanny]

ok I watched VIM and a) I didn’t like it very much and b) I kept stimming with the word vim the whole time. Vim vimmy vimvim… Awww vimnessa we’re really vimming in it now…

[talentforlying]

father grimaldi: forgive me, lord, for i have sinned. constantine: — understatement of the bloody century, that is. father grimaldi: the chapel is closed to the public! who are you? how did you get in here . . .? constantine: did you know vatican city has the highest per-capita crime rate of any nation state in the world? i'd have thought a touch of breaking and entering's pretty much par for the course around here.

so #1, an undeniable slay.

#2, how long do we think he was sitting in the confessional booth waiting for the guy to wake up from ellie's fake vision quest. like an hour? checking his light, practicing his Big Reveal Pose TM? he probably brought a book with him and just shoved it underneath the seat cushion when it was time to show off.

#3, knowing how intensely he studied & continues to study in order to teach himself magic at such an absurdly advanced level without any teachers to formally guide him? and how that level of dedication would absolutely carry over into researching a mark / making sure he had every corner of a confidence scheme nailed down pat? i like to imagine that the day before this meeting was spent with his severely under-caffeinated ass parked at a public library computer, squinting at articles for 'most important things to know about vatican city before you travel' or 'top 10 little-known facts about vatican city' and using the back of his boarding pass to take notes on what would be the best throwaway line to blow off all the usual questions with.

also, he probably woke up still in his travel clothes less than two hours before this scene and had to hustle to get suited up in time for his Dramatic Apparition. the demon blood was boiling so bad in that chapel that it was giving him a killer migraine. he didn't get breakfast so his stomach was growling the ENTIRE time. but all that meant was he had plenty of room to eat UP the runway and that's EXACTLY what the fuck he did.i'm

[b0ng05]

Over this - Toxic!Amber Freeman x Reader

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Word Count: 6151

Prompt: Y/n receives a text from an unknown number. Only to find out it's her ex. She can't help but think about all the toxic stuff Amber did to her.

Warnings: Toxic Relationship! Mentions of abuse! Angst!!

Also, Not Proofread💅

Masterlist

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Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

I thought I was over it. I thought things had been left in the past. I thought she forgot about me. But after receiving a text from an unknown number, it was clear she didn’t. I laid in my bed, gazing at my ceiling as tears streamed down my face. It had been over 3 years. Yet the traumatizing memories that flooded back in felt so very fresh. Each incident vividly clear as my eyes fluttered shut.

Amber stares into her mirror, adjusting her dark hair and touching up her makeup. My arms were wrapped around her waist, my hand gently rubbing her stomach as I watched over her shoulder. Her TV was hooked up to her phone, playing her playlist that wasn’t all that rangeful. Most of the songs were just replaying, mainly the same artist’s songs. It was getting quite bland hearing the same voice over and over for the past hour. But I endured it while staring at her, utterly smitten.

“Isn’t she kind of overrated?” I tease playfully, referencing the artist singing, knowing she was one of Amber’s favorites. While poking Amber’s side in a playful manner, hoping to gain her attention for at least a moment. Having had been watching Amber for a while with no commentary or affection on her end for 15 minutes. Not that I minded, being with her felt more than enough.

Instead of hearing a sarcastic quip back from her like usual, my head is whipped to the side faster than I can register. Her hand hung in the air, giving me an explanation to my now turned face. “You just slapped me.” I say slowly, registering what the fuck just happened. “Yeah. Quit saying dumb shit.” She scoffs, turning back to her reflection, quite unfazed with her own actions.

I remove my arms from her waist after seeing the forming red print of her hand on my cheek in the reflection of her mirror. I backed up, going to grab my phone off her charger to leave, wanting out of the situation. But before I can even make it three steps away, her hand is wrapped tightly around my wrist in a strong grip. She turns me to face her, one hand trailing my hip.

“Where are you going?” She asks, her tone turning seraphic and sweet. “I’m leaving, I don’t want to be here.” I say, trying to move away from her grip to no avail. “Oh don’t be a baby. You know I didn’t mean it, Y/n/n. You know I wouldn’t hurt you like that seriously.” Amber's deceptively sweet tone calls out. Her hand moved to caress my cheek softly.

“Don’t go. Please?” Amber hums softly, a small pout on her lips and her eyes pleading with my own. I give in, unable to ignore the ache in my heart at the desperate look in her eyes. I put my phone down and move to sit beside her once more.

That was just the beginning of a toxic relationship that was to soon blossom. A lesson that I wasn’t aware I needed to learn. You hear the stories of toxic relationships and think it could never happen to you, that you would never fall for the sob stories and the twisted manipulative ways of lovers that seek oblivious prey.

Amber and I were at Tara’s house, all sitting in her living room watching some action movie on the TV. I was curled up to Amber’s side, her arm wrapped around my shoulder. Tara was sitting on the other side of me, her arm resting on the armrest and her chin resting in the palm of her hand. Tara lets out a huff of a laugh as a new actress enters the scene of the movie.

“Don’t you think that chick’s dress is ugly?” Tara jokes, the dress the actress wore was adorned with yellow and orange polka dots with a weird neckline that was not at all flattering for the actress’s figure. “I don’t think you should be judging Tara, especially with your body,” Amber chuckles as she glances over at Tara with a douchy smirk. Her hand rubbing along my shoulder as they have a moment of a silent stare off.

“Fuck off,” Tara mumbles, before setting her popcorn bowl down on the coffee table and walking upstairs to her room. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I whisper, looking at her completely disgusted with her rude behavior. “Oh come on, it was just a joke. She’ll get over it.” Amber rolls her eyes, attempting to pull me closer to her embrace.

“No. That was seriously fucked up. You don’t comment on someone else’s body.” I state, removing her arm from me as I stand up, going to follow Tara upstairs to apologize for Amber’s unacceptable behavior. “Seriously? Tara made a mean comment and you didn’t give her the cold shoulder!” Amber huffs, as she stands up, her arms raised outward in anger as she tries to make an excuse. “No. She commented on a dress design that was ugly. Not the woman’s body.” I scoff, walking over to the stairs. Fully intending to apologize to Tara on Amber’s behalf.

As I step on the landing to walk up the stairs, my vision goes black. Everything was too fast to understand. I feel a heavy pressure around my neck, and the back of my head aches with the force it slammed into the wall with. My body feels a numb tingly feeling, my legs much like jelly. As my vision tunnels back in, the sight I’m met with is Amber’s hand around my throat, slamming me against the wall behind me. Her grip was so tight that I could barely gasp for breath, surely to bruise later on. Her eyes were darker than before, the look was terrifying and had a sadistic essence that left my skin crawling and spine shivering. Her cocky smile no longer there, in place was a twitching snarl. I felt my heart drop in utter fear.

Before I could say an attempt to stutter out anything, she tried to play off her violent actions after seeing the fear written on my face. Her lips shifted into a flirty smirk, and leaning in to kiss me, her lips pressed against mine in a bruising manner that left mine aching and not in a good way, her hand still gripping my around throat tightly. As my senses start to come back to me, I push her away as hard as I can, making her stumble back a bit, and then I rush upstairs to Tara’s room, not bothering to knock. I open the door and shut it behind me. Tara looks up at me bewildered as she sees the fear, betrayal and confusion written on my face.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Tara asks, getting up from her bed to wrap her arms around me in soft gentle embrace. “I- I um- I’m sorry for how Amber was acting, it wasn’t right.” I apologize, struggling to find the words that I desperately wanted to speak. Fear eating at my mind, knowing Amber was just beyond the door. “Hey, hey, no, you don’t have to apologize for her, Y/n. She is her own person, and so are you, okay?” Tara soothes, her hand softly rubbing my back trying to comfort me. “I-”

Before I could speak another word, the door swung open, Amber entering the room. Her gaze hardens at the sight. She walks over and grabs my wrist, pulling me towards the door. “We gotta head out,” Amber states, but her tone was more so demanding. “What- wait-” Tara tries to intervene but to no avail with the intense glare that Amber sent her way.

Amber drags me out of Tara’s room towards the stairs, and once we got downstairs, she didn’t waste a second getting us out the front door and into her car. “What did you say to her?” Amber demands as she enters the driver’s seat of her car.

She quickly floors it out of Tara’s driveway, taking a left turn, wheels squealing, meaning we were going in the direction of her house. My stomach turns, a sickening feeling overcoming me at the sound of her tone and the look in her eyes. Mentally, I couldn’t help but think back to the psychology class Amber and I had attended yesterday at school. More so the lesson, the one on gut-brain connection. Never thought I’d actually use the information, but seeing and feeling it happen in real time made something click in my brain. I didn’t deserve this.

“I just apologized for you being an asshole.” I huffed, a new found confidence bestowed in my mind. “Excuse you? I was the asshole? No. You were a bitch for running off when I was trying to kiss you and make up.” Amber quips, her face contorting in anger and annoyance as she grips the steering wheel tightly. “You’re the one that wants to be a stubborn bitch about everything.”

“You put your fucking hands on me. I had a pretty good fucking reason to run. Pullover.” I uncross my arms, one hand going for the door handle. “No! I’m not fucking pulling over.” Amber seethes, running a hand through her hair in frustration.

“I don’t want to be near you right now! Pull over.” I demand, my head whipping to the car door when I hear her press the lock button on her side of the car. “I’m not fucking pulling over, we are gonna talk this out. I don’t wanna lose you!” Amber starts to make herself cry, a skill she had mastered in order to manipulate me into letting her have her way.

My phone starts to ring in my back pocket, I pull it out and check the screen, the caller ID showing my mom’s name. I let out a sigh of relief. “My mom is calling.” I state. I don’t bother to glance at her direction as I answer the phone. My parents taking priority over my highschool girlfriend. “Hey honey, we need you to come home and watch the dog. Your father and I are going out for date night,” My mom’s soothing voice informs.

“Yeah of course, I’ll be home in a few.” I say before ending the call, making sure to say an ‘I love you’ at the end. “My parents need me home.” I state. “Okay, so we’ll talk this out at your house.” Amber nods, wiping her tears with the sleeve of her hoodie.

“No, my parents don’t want anyone over while I’m home alone, and they just got new cameras installed last week.” I throw in a lie at the end, just craving some space away from her.

I had spent my whole summer, every single day at her home, at her side. It was already halfway through the school year and I still barely had room to breathe with her constantly at my side. Not only that, but she had been so controlling. The whole summer, she would refuse to let me go home when I wanted to unless my parents called me practically begging me to come back home. She went through my phone, blocking every friend that she deemed a threat to our relationship, some that didn’t even do anything wrong at all. All just so she could feel more in control of our relationship.

“Okay, so you can still facetime me when you get home right?” Amber asks sternly, her hand moving to grip mine in a tight grasp. “Yeah, I’ll call you after my parents leave.” I lie through my teeth, planning to fake a low battery before the call.

“Okay… Promise?” Amber asks, glancing at me for a brief moment before her eyes turn back to the road, taking a turn towards my house to drop me off. “I promise.” I nod, lifting her hand up to my lips to kiss the back of it. She smiles and caresses the back of my hand with her thumb. “Also, we gotta talk about Tara. I don’t want us hanging out with her anymore.” Amber commands. “But why? I thought you liked Tara? She’s nice.” I say bewildered by her.

“Yeah, a little too nice to you.” Amber scoffs, her hand moving to grip my thigh possessively, “You are mine, and I don’t want you seeing her. Is that clear?” Amber questions, her hand gripping my thigh in an increasingly painful grip. “Yes ma’am.” I mumble, wincing in pain.

“Good girl.” Amber smirks in satisfaction as her hand gently rubs over when her nail marks are now indented. Amber turns into the driveway of my house, parking her car in the driveway. She turns to me, reaching out to caress my cheek. Looking at me with the same look that always won me over. “I’m gonna miss you.” Amber pouts, tracing over my bottom lip with her thumb.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” I say, feeling a pang of guilt at the sight of her pout. “Okay… Give me one more kiss?” She asks, leaning closer, her breath brushing against my lips. “Okay,” I nod, leaning in to kiss her softly before pulling away. “I love you,” Amber calls as I unbuckle my seatbelt and open the car door. “I love you too…” I say back before closing the car door behind me.

I walk up my driveway, feeling her eyes on me as I get to the door. I quickly get inside and lock the door behind me. Upon entering, my mom appears from the entrance of the kitchen. “There you are,” She walks over to me, “Your dad and I will be back in a couple hours, take care of our dog, alright? Make sure he isn’t lonely.” My mom laughs a bit at the end as she hugs me.

She grabs her purse and coat, “Let’s go!” She yells up the stairs to my dad who was taking his precious time on his hair. He quickly rushes down the stairs, nearly tripping down them, but catching himself with a nervous smile as he looks over at my mom who was unamused by his inability to be careful. “We’ll be back soon, love you kiddo,” My dad grins, patting my shoulder before offering his arm out to my mom as they walk out to their car.

Once they exit, I make sure the front door is locked, checking the back door too. No, I wasn’t expecting Amber to show up again, but I wouldn’t put it past her. Once I made sure they were secure, I called my dog to come with me up to my bedroom.

Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.

I sigh as I rub my eyes with the back of my hands. It hurts to think I was so naive. And now, with her texting me, it was all just carving open old wounds that weren’t fully finished healing. A speedy thump to the heart in my chest, one that I didn’t want but couldn’t control. My mind flashes with memories that I wish I could forget.

We were laying in Amber’s bed, her head resting on my chest as we watched videos on my phone that I held on my stomach. Her hand was softly rubbing my hip. “She looks familiar.” I comment, referring to the woman in the video who was explaining an ongoing situation in the world. “You think she’s pretty, don’t you?” Amber scoffs, lifting her head off my chest to look back up at me with an unamused look, her eyebrows furrowed.

“No, I’m just saying that I think I’ve seen her videos before,” I elaborate, softing stroking her hair trying to ease her mind. “Don’t fucking lie to me.” Amber scoffs, sitting up and taking my phone out of my hand. “I’m not lying, baby. I promise.” I say softly, my hand moving to gently caress her cheek, but she pushes my hand away. “I can’t even trust anything you fucking say.” Amber gets up from the bed, pacing her room, her face contorted in anger, that dark look in her eyes coming back.

I felt my heart race in my chest, not liking when she got like this, usually I could calm her down before a total meltdown. “You’re such a fucking liar! I saw you at school talking to Tara on Tuesday, y’know that?!” She seethes, lifting her arm back as she chucked my phone with no intent in direction. It felt like it happened in slow motion as the phone smacked me right in the face, hitting my nose and lip in a harsh manner. My hands quickly rush to cradle my face in pain.

“Fuck!” I cry in pain, blood gushing from my nose, my lip now busted from being pinched hard between my tooth and phone. Blood dripped down my lip and momentarily stained my teeth. “God don’t be so dramatic, it was an accident.” Amber rolls her eyes as she grabs a towel that was hanging off the back of her closet, walking over to hold it to my face.

“One that you could have fucking prevented!” I scoff, trying to push her hands away as I tried to hold the towel myself. “Baby, you know I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t do that to you on purpose, I just got angry” Her tone turns sweet and soft, her hand running soothingly through my hair. “But you did!” I say, trying to move away from her. “It wasn’t my fault!” Amber huffs, pulling me into her arms, tight enough that I couldn’t get away.

She leans down and presses soft kisses on my cheek, whispering sweet nothings to calm me down and get me to stop trying to squirm away. After almost 20 minutes, I no longer fought her embrace, rather leaning into it as she rubbed my back softly. Her hand holding the towel to my face, coddling me. My mind was busy thinking on how I would explain the injuries to my mom when I got home.

Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.

Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.

I let out a shaky breath, my eyes closed as I stewed in my thoughts. My hand brought up to my face, tracing over where the bump on my lip used to reside, the memories felt so fresh that I could almost feel the old wound. Then another memory flashed through my head, an invisible stake of pain piercing through the back of my skull. Remembering her was only gutting my stability further.

Amber and I were walking around a bar in a busy part of town, her mom was a busy woman, and one of her friends was having a cancer benefit. Her mother was only able to attend for 30 minutes before having to leave for a work meeting. She requested that Amber and I stay behind in her place, also asking us to make sure her name was at the top of all the raffle items for the benefit. Amber agreed after being lectured by her mother. I remained by her side, trying to be a supportive girlfriend.

We walked into the room that held the raffle buckets next to the items and the clipboard to list your name along with your bid for the item. Amber’s mother did not spare a dime with the tickets she bought, wanting to be as supporting as she can for her friend, as well as wanting to win a full massage and mani pedi. “God this is boring,” Amber whispers, guiding me to a wall for us to lean on. I lean my back against the cold brick wall, Amber moving to stand in front of me, her hand caressing my waist. “Calm down, we only have to be here for a bit longer like your mom asked.” I mumble quietly, my eyes scanning the room, observing the people in the crowded area. “Why not make it a little interesting~?” Amber smirks, her hand moving to cup my jaw as she leans in and connects her lips with mine, trying to start a heated makeout session, I push her back slightly. “I don’t feel like this is appropriate. This isn’t the time or place, I don’t feel comfortable doing this here.” I voice my concerns softly, trying not to upset her as I caress her cheek gently.

“Uhuh sure~” Amber’s smirk doesn’t falter as she leans in and forces her lips against mine once more. My hands move to her shoulders trying to push her back. Her hands move to grip my waist tighter, trapping me between the wall and her. With the crowd as busy and as drunk as they were, didn’t notice my struggle. Except for one woman, who just so happened to be working at the cancer benefit. “Excuse me, you two need to go. Out. Now.” An older woman with dark brown hair and a Monroe piercing scolds, her thin eyebrow quirked up.

I recognized her as one of the women Amber’s mother was talking with earlier before she took her leave. I felt a disgusting guilt building up inside me. I felt dirty, not in a good way, in a vile way. Amber knew how I felt about PDA, especially in settings like this. “Yeah, yeah.” Amber rolls her eyes, smiling cockily as she grabs my hand dragging me out of the room into the bar area where they would soon announce the winners. I went to sit down on one of the only empty stools left, but Amber stopped me, sitting down in the seat, making me stand in front of her as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. A blonde woman with glasses in an olive green dress stood up to begin announcing the winners from the raffle and bids. After a harrowing thirty minutes, all the winners were announced, none of which were Amber’s mother. My legs were killing me, having stood the whole time with the pressure of Amber’s head and arms resting on me.

“Whatever, let’s go.” Amber scoffs, feeling some sort of selfish anger for having wasted her time. I couldn’t understand her anger. But Amber got mad over a lot of minor things, so it wasn’t really a surprise that this was sparking a flame of anger in her. Amber grabbed my hand and dragged me through the crowds of people in the small bar. We get out the door and after a few steps outside, Amber stops me. She was shivering, having worn only a t-shirt and jeans in the middle of fall.

“Give me your hoodie.” She states, holding out her pale ringed hand. “Why? You chose to not wear a hoodie when I told you to wear one.” I say, my eyebrows furrowing, still kind of pissed off about her making me stand up the whole half hour. “Maybe because I’m your fucking girlfriend and your ride home.” Amber snaps back, her jaw clenching as she snaps her fingers, cueing me to give her the hoodie. “Okay..” I sigh, peeling off my dark green hoodie and handing it to the girl, leaving me in t-shirt and cargo pants. I didn’t want to walk home tonight, so I didn’t see the point in arguing with her further. I could feel the cold dry sting of the air hit me. I shivered, and we began to walk to her car. When we got to her car, she was livid, the parking meter had expired, a ticket sat under the windshield wiper. Her eye twitched a bit as she hastily walked over, snatching the ticket off the windshield and getting in the car. I quickly follow suit, not wanting to piss her off more. I get into the car, shutting the door behind me. I buckle my seatbelt, feeling an absolute need to, knowing she’s seething in anger. As I got in, she seemed cool for a minute, before her fist drove into the steering wheel, punching repeatedly. I reached out and held her hand with mine, preventing her fist from hitting it again, not wanting her to hurt herself. I unbuckle my seatbelt and lean over, holding her head to my chest, embracing her tightly. I move over to straddle her lap. Her arms wrap around me, holding me breathlessly tight, letting out a frustrated and muffled cry out into my chest.

I felt guilty. She was having a hard day already, her mom yelled at her earlier, a woman scolded us, she was upset about the raffle, I argued about the hoodie, and now she has a ticket. I kissed the crown of her forehead and whispered sweet nothings trying to calm her down. Once her breathing was more normal, I pulled back and looked back into her eyes, feeling a jolt to my heart as hers met mine.

“You okay?” I whisper softly, kissing her cheek a few times. Her lips were puffed out in a small pout and her eyes were teary as she stared back at me. “I’m sorry, I just- I got overwhelmed.” Amber mumbles, pressing her face back into my chest

Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.

Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.

Unknown: I need you 11:30 p.m.

I bit my bottom lip, as I thought about her eyes. Back then, I thought I always saw her eyes softening when she gazed back at me, but now that it’s been years, I have come to realize it was her loving the power and control she had over me. The way she had me wrapped around her finger no matter what.

It was a few days after the incident where she had slapped me over a joke I made about her music.

Amber and I were cuddling in her bed when my phone buzzed in the sheets next to us. She picked it up and checked the notification. My head was nuzzled into the crook of her neck, her hand that wasn’t occupied with my phone was stroking my hair softly. “Your ex fucking texted you.” Amber scoffs, opening the text. Her hand stopped stroking my hair, moving to aid her other hand with the phone.

“Block her,” I mumble, too sleepy to care about whatever my ex wants. “She said she found your hoodie and wants you to come pick it up.” Amber says after reading the text. “Tell her to throw it away.” I say, pressing a soft kiss to her neck. “No, actually…” Amber pauses thinking, “Go pick up the hoodie.” She states, pushing my head off her neck. “Why? I don’t want it.” I huff, a bit pouty about her ruining my comfortable position.

“Well I do, because then the next time that bitch stalks your instagram, she’ll get the pleasure of seeing me in your hoodie.” Amber smirks, handing my phone back to me. “Why does it matter if it’s that one? You’re on my instagram wearing my hoodies in most of our pictures,” I ask confusedly as I lean over to kiss her cheek before putting my phone in my pocket. “Because, I get to rub it in that you’re mine. If she’s willing to go through the trouble of giving you your hoodie back, she gets to go through the trouble of seeing me in it later.” Amber states before kissing me softly. “Now go get that hoodie.” She smiles, waving me off. Within a ten minute walk, I was outside my ex’s house. She stood on her burgundy colored porch, holding a familiar black hoodie in her hands. I walked up to the stairs of her porch. She smiles at me, sitting down on one of the steps as she hands it to me. “Hey… how are you?” She asks, her tone nothing but friendly.

Before she and I had broken up, we used to be close friends. Even after the break up, we remained friends until I met Amber. We broke up for the main reason that while being with me, she discovered that what she thought were romantic feelings towards me were nothing but platonic. I had felt the same way and hence the being friends thing. “I’m okay, how are you?” I ask, my voice a little rough from having walked over on a hot summer day with no water. “I’m alright. But I’m worried about you,” She pauses, “Mindy told me that you stopped talking to most of the group. What’s going on with you?” She asks softly, her hand touching my shoulder in a comforting manner. I let out a shaky sigh as tears welled up in my eyes. “Things have been difficult lately.” I state vaguely, running a hand through my hair. “What do you mean? You can talk to me. You know I won’t say a thing,” She says, knowing I’ve had a past of people telling my business to other people who have no right to it. “Amber has been getting more controlling, and well…” I sigh and wipe my face with my hand. “And what?” She whispers softly, trying to remain supportive and comforting. “She slapped me the other day,” I mumble, not wanting to have to face the reality, but knowing I need to. “What? Y/n, that’s not okay,” A small gasp comes from her mouth as she rubs my arm comfortingly. She knew this kind of behavior from anyone, especially a teenager, wasn’t okay whatsoever. She didn’t honestly have any other words besides, “You need to tell an adult.” She pauses her words, to try to lay them out more kindly, “What she’s doing isn’t right. You don’t deserve to be hurt.” She says. My phone buzzes in my back pocket, I pull it out to check it. The realization of how much time had passed brings me concern as the notification from Amber popped up. She asked what was taking me so long, and told me to hurry up.

“I gotta go, I’m sorry,” I say, slipping my phone back in my pocket before turning to walk off, missing the look of pity that my ex sent me as I walked off. I quickly hurried back to Amber’s house, despite the smoldering heat that threatened to wind me down to the sidewalk. I get back to her house, to see her waiting on her couch with her feet propped up on the dark brown coffee table in front of her. “You get the hoodie?” Amber asks, looking up from her phone. “Y- yeah.” I say through heavy breaths. I toss it over to her. She picks it up, inspecting it and the design.

“What took you so long?” She interrogates, looking back up at me with a bated stare.

“It was a long walk in hot heat,” I excuse, moving to sit beside her as I pick up her water bottle off the table to take a swig. “BS, what took you so long?” She scoffs, turning to face me with a raised brow. “My ex asked how I was doing,” I admit, looking up to meet her eyes. “And what did you say?” Amber asks, squinting her eyes. “I said I was fine,” I shrug, setting the water bottle back down on the table. “And that was it?” Amber asks, not convinced at all. “That was it.” I say, my eyes accidentally diverting from hers out of guilt. “Bullshit. What else?” She demands, grabbing my chin to force me to look at her. “She said that Mindy told her I wasn’t coming around the group as much anymore.” I admit further, wanting her to let my chin out of her tight grip. Amber lets out a dark chuckle, pinching the bridge of her nose. “A whole month without speaking to you and she still can’t keep you off her damn mind. No wonder I felt the need to keep you away from her.” Amber rolls her eyes, pulling me into her lap. I don’t say anything, not wanting to argue and cause a bigger reaction from her. Instead I silently snuggled up to the crook of her neck as she ran her ringed hand over my back in small soothing circles.

Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.

Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.

Unknown: I need you 11:30 p.m.

Unknown: Answer babe 11:33 p.m.

I didn’t hate her, after all the bullshit she did then. Not until Richie. That’s when I started to.

I walked into Amber’s home, a happy grin along my lips. I came over planning to surprise her with a cute box of snacks and drinks I made for her. I spent hours on the box alone, painting each side, attempting to recreate her favorite Stab movie covers on each side, paying close attention to each detail to try and make it near perfect for her. The box was nearly overflowing in her favorite snacks and drinks. I walked up the stairs towards her bedroom, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as I heard a bed creaking. I didn’t see anyone else’s car in the driveway so I made the stupid assumption of her having a reasonable explanation like taking care of her own needs. I balance the box on the side of my hip as I open her bedroom door. What I didn’t expect to see was Richie on top of her as she moaned out his name. The box dropped from under my arm, loudly crashing to the floor, capturing the attention of both of them. Amber’s eyes widened as she was at a loss for words. I saved her the brain power by running out of the house and driving away before she could even reach me. By the time I reached my house, I ran inside, tears leaving my eyes as I called one person that I thought I’d never call again. Tara. I called Tara. No explanation, just telling her I needed her to come to my house immediately. I went to each door and window in my house, making sure they were locked and if possible covered with the curtains and blinds. Knowing that Amber was persistent and if I didn’t pick up her calls eventually, she’d show up. I just prayed Tara would be here before then. I needed to tell someone the truth, because I didn’t quite frankly know what to do with it. Being a teenager, you don’t expect to be used like a punching bag or cheated on with a grown ass man.

I was sitting on my living room couch, my phone was tossed on the coffee table, buzzing with texts from Amber. All I knew was that I didn’t want to hear it. As I cried on the couch, a knock on the front door broke me from my sob session. I got up quickly, making my way to the door quietly before peaking out the peephole, seeing Tara standing at my doorstep. I unlock and open the door, letting the girl in before locking the door back up.

“Hey, what’s going on with you?” Tara asks softly, seeing my tear stained face. I shake my head to prevent a sob from breaking through as I hug her, burying my head in her shoulder. As my cries wrack my body, she holds me close, stroking my hair softly, shushing my cries. “It’s gonna be okay, we’ll get over this.” She whispered, unsure of what the situation was, but more than willing to try and help.

Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.

Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.

Unknown: I need you 11:30 p.m.

Unknown: Answer babe 11:31 p.m.

Unknown: Fucking answer me 11:33 p.m.

“Babe, turn your phone off, I can’t sleep with the constant notifications,” A tired brunette groans beside me in bed. She turns over in the sheets, burying her face in the crook of my neck with a tired pout. “Sorry, love. I’ll turn it off.” I kiss the top of Tara’s head, turning the do not disturb on my phone. I hover my finger over the button on my phone screen. I press down on the block button. I’m over this.

[bluesbonney]

♡ baking with billy (modern) ♡

"Stupid, jerk, come on..." You're trying to pull the stupidly heavy mixer from the corner of the counter, but it's acting like a dog that doesn't want to walk.

This metaphor comes from experience, you think, as you look over at Gus. The normally hyper Border Collie sleeps by the front door, passed out on his back with his stomach on display. It's funny when he sleeps like that; pink belly peeking out, his legs sticking up randomly. The position doesn't seem comfortable and yet, that's how he sleeps quite often.

Usually in the kitchen. But he also sleeps like that in you and Billy's bed, much to your boyfriend's extreme annoyance.

Boy and dog often fight over who gets to cuddle you. If dog is already there, sleeping in his weird position, and Billy tries to move him?

Boy loses.

Speaking of Billy, you hear his truck pull up as you finally manage to pull out the mixer. You gather ingredients; flour, butter, eggs. gross mushy bananas and plenty of other stuff; and set it all out on the counter. There's just one thing you still need.

As you pass Gus on the way to the front door, his tail wags, but he doesn't move. You prop open the screen door and lean against the doorway, smiling at Billy as he gets out of the truck.

He was sweet enough to run to the store this morning when you stated that you wanted to bake something but found the sugar missing. His hair curls wildly under the brim of the backwards baseball cap he's wearing. It's red and though he doesn't like the color, he wears it because Joe gave it to him when he started playing baseball at the University of New Mexico. Billy's very proud of his little brother and he shows it in many ways.

He looks up at you and grins. "Hi, sweetheart."

"Did you get my brown sugar?" You ask, mirroring his smile.

"No, they were all out." Billy looks entirely serious.

"What?" You heave a sigh. "Are you messing with me?"

He grins and then reaches back into the truck, and pulls a bag of brown sugar from the passenger seat. "Yeah. I got it, baby."

"You're annoying." You pretend to complain as Billy climbs the porch steps and then gives you an enthusiastic kiss.

"Ow. My heart." He whines a little and pouts.

Patting his cheek, you laugh and then take the bag of sugar from him. "You'll live."

Once you both are inside, Gus jumps up and starts whining excitedly as he trots over to Billy, who happily kneels down to start petting him. The dog takes in his attention happily, even rolling onto his back again so Billy can rub his belly.

"This morning you tried to bite the shit outta my hand, and now you're all good?" Billy asks the dog, a little bit of disbelief in his voice. "I guess we're gettin' along after all, huh? Good boy."

You try to watch the scene behind you while also throwing all the ingredients into a mixing bowl. This of course doesn't work, but you resolve to pick up the spilled flour when you're done.

"Can you bring me the butter, please?" You point with your free hand to the stick sitting on a little dish.

Billy brings it to you, smiling as you kiss his cheek with a sweet: "Thank you, my best helper."

He hands you things until you have a solid batter to work with. A few seconds later, he gives the hem of your t-shirt a little tug, letting you know he wants your attention.

"Before I forget, I wanted to let ya know that you've been invited to dinner on Friday." He takes off the cap and tosses it onto the counter; somehow his curls are messier without the containment.

Out of shock, you spill a little cinnamon. "Dinner with your family?" You start whisking to stave off some oncoming anxiety. You haven't met his mother or brother yet.

"Joe's finally back from his study abroad." Billy answers, barely avoiding an elbow in the ribs as you keep whisking. "Ma's wanted to meet you for awhile." His voice softens at that and so do you. There's nothing more that you want than to meet the two people that Billy cares about most in this world, besides you, of course.

"That sounds nice." You say brightly as you set down the whisk.

Billy's whole face lights up. "Thank you, angel. I can't wait for them to meet you...my best girl." He leans in and kisses you again. Once, then twice. And that smile might be stuck on his face for the rest of the day.

Once the bread is baking in the oven, Billy helps you wash all the dishes, chatting aimlessly about work this week and how he's curious to hear all of Joe's stories.

While you load the dishwasher, he passes you and sets one hand on your lower back. You look up at him, quirking one eyebrow. In response, you get a wink. And a little pat on the ass.

"Patience, cowboy." You giggle, and then give him things to put back in the pantry.

He takes a little too long, you think, or maybe he's doing something else. Your back is to him as you scrub a stubbornly dirty bowl.

Except, you wonder why he's being so quiet. Looking over your shoulder, you twist your neck and see...

"Billy!" You shriek when you see that he's left a flour handprint on your ass, stark white against the fabric of your black athletic shorts.

He's already booking it out the back door before you can get him back.

I was baking banana bread earlier and had all these thoughts, so I just decided to share. Gus is inspired by my irl dog who passed away a few years ago :( he always used to sleep like that in my kitchen and I miss him a lot <3

also in the modern au, I like to headcanon that Kathleen and Joe are still alive. this is just my interpretation!

[musiccgor3]

Gonna ramble about a movie I watched because it ended up far more interesting than I thought, and reminded me of a few things. It has some spoilers tho so (long ass post....)

It's kinda like Dead Poets Society, but if it was set in ww2 nazi boarding school for history buffs

Я убейся бля. It reminded me so much of dps. The scenes, the characters, legit everything with just a few changes here and there. I honestly just viewed Friedrich and Albrecht as best friends, but some people apparently see them as romantic interests, and honestly, I can't even argue with that. A few scenes felt like it. Still, no matter what your views on them are, it's still pretty devastating.

It also kinda hit close to home, which may be a weird thing to say for a film with nazis ☠️, BUT I meant specifically how the school and teachers acted and Friedrich's roommates. Obviously, it's not as comparable. Napolas were literally teaching teens to kill, but it reminded me just a tiny bit, k??? The strict ass teachers, and don't even get me started on the humiliating punishment. That one scene with the instructor and shit reminded me of my own teacher. Whenever we failed a test or quiz, he'd make us chew the paper and spit it out. We'd also get hit sometimes in front of everyone, among other things.

Another thing it reminded me was my friend. I think one of the main reasons I mainly viewed them as friends was because I might have been projecting from how much Albrecht reminded me of a friend lmfao. This shit is very personal but well whatever. It was mostly their personalities. He was also reserved, kinda soft spoken and quiet, like Albrecht. He had some family issues, mainly with his dad, and because of his personality, he wasn't severely bullied or anything, more like outcasted and ignored by the others. I was the only one he actually talked to casually without purpose, so I suppose being his only friend, I kinda influenced him too and vice versa (since it was also a pretty shitty time in my life where I was a bit stupid lol). He really stood with what he thought. Friedrich and Albrecht were like mirrors to me, almost. But unfortunately, too much alike. Due to some stuff happening, I also ended up losing him to suicide. I wasn't even able to attend his funeral, so the scene where Friedrich requested an obituary and they refused to give Albrecht a funeral in the school???? Ouch. And I also already felt a bit guilty with what happened, so when that fuck said the parents blamed Friedrich to be partially responsible for Albrecht's death, uhh, double ouch. It got me thinking a bit.

I'd be lying if I said I don't miss him bad, but shit, enough of that. I rambled about it wayy too much.

Yeah, this movie is great as hell. Not only is it a good film, but it'll probably hold an important place in my brain. I'm gonna think about this for the next week thx. Super cool movie. There should be more films where they allow guys to have more emotional relationships than just "oh, I'm super masculine. I don't care about others." Yeah, most of us are raised to be more emotionally reserved and probably cant be affectionate for shit with friends or let alone anyone, but don't lie when you say you haven't atleast had one friendship where you let go for once damn. "Bromance" or not, some ppl need to learn how to care. You can be masculine and still care for your friends deeply, ya know.

This movie might have some intentional or unintentional homoeroticism in it, but эххххх whatever.... Gay or not, we can all agree it's depressing in both ways someone can view it

(Just realized I probably liked this film due to more personal reasons than a cinematic view LMAO)

[kapczan]

Watermelon - Billie Joe Armstrong x fem!OC (Part 1)

Summary: He shouldn’t want her. She shouldn’t need him. But Billie has always been drawn to things that burn, and Poppy has never been good at saying no. A careless argument turns into something breathless, something neither of them can stop. And when it’s over—when reality sets in—Poppy learns that desire always comes with a cost. Was this love, or just another lesson in what it means to be young and reckless?

Warnings: Angsty, kinda toxic romance. Age gap. Coming of age typo shit. No actual smut, but it's heavily implied. Cheating. Billie's kinda a bitch. Basically, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT.

A/N: It could be a x reader fic, but I kinda suck at these. Don't worry, the OC isn't described very specifically. I'm gonna totally write some x readers tho. It's one of those fics you write when you're having a huge mental breakdown and you're horny, so don't blame me. Late 90s/early 00s Billie.

See also on my AO3

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

She didn’t feel comfortable after meeting his wife. Fuck, she wasn’t even sure if she will ever recover. Her calm eyes and polite smile… The brunette acted like Poppy wasn’t dreaming about her husband since she was fourteen, like her husband didn’t take it to the next level of flirting with the poor, lovestruck girl. For the redhead, it was all too much. Too much pressure she was not used to. Too many vulnerable, hurtful emotions.

And yet there she was. Standing next to Billie Joe fucking Armstrong. Her hands warm and sweaty, as if she was after an intense performance on stage. His green eyes made her feel as if she was melting, legs collapsing. Billie was no prince charming. Actually, he didn’t care about anything. And it was the problem. Because she cared, cared about him so much it made her struggle to breathe. And he was just an older guy, rebellious, confident punk with “green day” every day.

The biggest absurdity was the fact that Poppy could be described as a brave rebel from this little punk band that blew up out of nowhere. She was proud, she was loud, she was funny and, most of the time, she knew what she’s doing. But with this black-haired guy? Life suddenly was hard and soft at the same time. She wasn’t a stressful person, but when someone only mentioned Billie, she grabbed a mirror, asking Dahlia if she looks good. And everything was funny and stuff until he noticed her. Until he started talking to her, making her feel high. The validation he gave her was something she did not expect, but she thought she needed. 

“You’re weirdly quiet, Pops.” Billie noticed, brushing his messy, raven hair. This small gesture always made Poppy dizzy. Her eyes wandered through the room, as she felt a little bit under pressure. “It’s ‘cause of my wife?” His smirk widened, probably because he actually enjoyed her shy act, which made him feel like he was the one leading. He wasn’t very wrong.

“Yeah. But, it’s not like she’s the only reason I feel uncomfortable.” Tone of her voice was showing how unsure she felt. She bit her lower lip, exhaling through her nose. “The way you looked at me there. As if I was nothing, nothing to worry about. Maybe I just imagined this whole scene differently. I thought that you’ll be nervous like me, that your wife will be jealous, or at least suspicious. Why was she so okay with this?”

“I mean,” His teasing smirk faded for a moment. “I guess she didn’t see anything weird here. You acted just the way you always do when I’m near. It’s funny. I told her about this, so this wasn’t a big surprise for her.” 

His words were like little knives, stabbing her chest violently. He humiliated her, like if she was just another stupid groupie. It was disappointing. “Oh, so you told her that I’m acting like a stupid teen next to you, but you probably hid the fact that you’re enjoying this shit? That you’re being all flirty next to me? Great.” She murmured, turning her head towards her hotel room, which was only two doors away. Billie chuckled, he did it a lot, and nudged her shoulder to make her look at him again.

“Well, you got me. But you know that I’m a motherfucker. And you absolutely love it.” He leaned in, whispering the last words certainly into her ear. “Get a goddamn grip and stop proving that you’re a ‘stupid teen’, alright?”

The silence between them was heavy. Poppy’s heart pounded so fast that she could swear it wanted to run away from her. If the moment wasn’t so awkward, she’d probably say it out loud. The tension made her want to puke. She loved him. But she still didn’t know what love even means. And it was fucking exhausting. The way she had all boys wrapped around her finger, and she still managed to choose the one that was an absolute menace. It felt like he just played her, but she still wanted him badly. She wanted to be held by him. She wanted to cry with him, laugh with him, talk with him. Wanted to feel that he also treats this relationship like something important. Getting attached to someone with a free nature was the worst thing possible. It was even worse when the person was married for five fucking years and already had two little sons. 

“But you know what?” He broke the silence. “I’ll never regret meeting you. You’re fun, Poppy. You’re something else.” As the words flew by, they got closer and closer, and she slowly grabbed his hand. The redhead always had her hands near him, as if she couldn’t live without physical touch. It wasn’t sensual or something, she just enjoyed the warmth, even if he was the coldest man she ever met. Which he was.

“Then why did you act like it’s nothing near her. You didn’t even flinch. For a second I thought y’all are poly or whatever.” A dry, stressful laugh escaped her mouth. 

“What did you expect me to do?” Their foreheads touched, and she closed her eyes. She tried not to cry, but emotions that filled her up were making her teary. His hands found her cheeks, cupping them softly. His expression softened. “Don’t bother yourself with this stuff. You’re overthinking again.”

Those words hitted her hard. Billie knew a lot of her traumas. He knew she had problems in the past with overthinking everything. She thought her lame self was gone, and that old Poppy would never come back. But then she met him. He ruined her whole new persona, and maybe it wasn't his intention. She felt like she was eight years old again, listening to her father argue with her aunt. She felt like she’s fourteen again, having dad’s drug dealer looking at her like a true predator. Every possible embarrassing or awful memory came back to her, gripping on her brain hard. 

And in a quick moment everything was gone. 

Why?

Because he kissed her.

Both of his hands wrapped around her jawline and neck, making her look up. He was leaning in so intensely that they nearly fell on the ground. She was taken aback. They kissed only once before, and she didn’t even remember this (because she was drunk as hell). So, it was magical. Maybe there wasn't a pink aura and little hearts like in cartoons, but it still felt like something surreal. She kissed back, filled with devoting her hunger. 

After some lovey dovey moments, he became violent. He bit her lip, pinched her to the wall, was so intense that she nearly passed out breathless. Both flushed looked at themselves after finally ending this starved make out session in awe, like if they didn’t believe it would be so good. 

“Fuck.” He mumbled, wiping his lips with his knuckle. “We shouldn’t do those things here.” His expression flickered for a second when he looked around. When he noticed a camera he just laughed and took a step back, searching for room keys in his jeans pockets. As he found them, he quickly opened the door next to them. Before entering the hotel room, he gestured to Poppy, wanting her to come with him. She was still breathless, though, slowly analyzing everything that happened seconds ago. 

“You comin’?” He asked, his face quickly went from amused to slightly annoyed. Suddenly, she was not listening to him. She wanted to ground herself a little bit, and the best thing to ground yourself is to watch your surroundings and describe it quietly in your head. At least that was her method.

The hotel hallway was dim, the buzzing fluorescent light above flickering like it was seconds from dying out. Poppy stood there, arms crossed over her chest, her heartbeat still a little too fast for her own liking. The walls felt too close, the air too warm, but she wasn’t sure if it was the shitty hotel or just the fact that Billie Joe was standing a few feet away, jingling the key to his room in his hand. She should go to her own room. That was the smart thing to do. But she didn’t move. 

“You gonna just stand there all night?” His voice was lazy, amused, like he already knew she wouldn’t leave. Poppy swallowed. Her throat felt tight. 

“I don’t know,” she murmured. “Maybe.” Billie let out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head as he tapped his fingers on the door. He pushed it a little bit more, then looked back at her, raising an eyebrow. A silent invitation. Her stomach twisted. She shouldn’t. She really, really shouldn’t. But her feet were already moving. 

Inside, the room was dimly lit by the glow of the city outside. The air smelled like clove cigarettes and whatever cheap soap the hotel stocked in their bathrooms. Billie tossed his key on the nightstand, then flopped onto the bed like he had all the time in the world.

Poppy hovered near the door, her fingers twitching at her sides. “What?” She asked after noticing his green eyes checking her unkindly, impatiently, her voice barely above a whisper.

Billie’s smirk was there, the same one that made her stomach knot up. She couldn’t keep her eyes off him. “Nothin’. Just wondering how long you’re gonna pretend you don’t wanna be here.”

Her breath caught. She wanted to argue, wanted to roll her eyes and scoff and call him an asshole. But the words never came, because he was kind of right. And everytime he was right, which was a lot, she felt smaller. 

“Jesus, just come over here.” He begged her, for the first time looking desperate and a little bit pathetic. It worked. She blushed and slowly came to the bed. She sat and took her big, chunky shoes off. For a moment she looked at the shoes. Her dear friend, Dahlia, gave her the shoes. She started missing her bandmates, or rather sisters-not-in-blood, more and more. 

Redhead’s breath came shallow, the weight of the moment pressing down on her. She should’ve run. Should’ve slammed the door behind her, should’ve let the space between them stretch until she forgot how his voice felt curling around her name. But she didn’t. As soon as his hand slowly caressed her fingers, she forgot about any bad thoughts. His touch was like drugs. So addictive, so wanted, so needed. She could do anything to just feel him.

After taking her shoes off, she curled next to him. Billie pushed himself a little higher, as if he wanted to take a good look at her face. He tilted his head, slow and deliberate, eyes dragging over her like he was memorizing the way she folded into herself. “You look fucking scared.” He uttered under his breath, there was a hint of sarcasm in his words. Then, she also got up a little bit, with furrowed brows. 

“I’m not.” She grimaced a bit. 

His fingers brushed her wrist, barely there. Like he was testing her. Seeing how much she’d let him get away with.

She should’ve pulled away.

She didn’t.

His touch was light, feather-soft as it trailed up her arm, fingers ghosting over the inside of her elbow before curling gently around it. A slow, torturous climb up to her shoulder, then her neck. His thumb brushed over her pulse, and she knew he could feel how fast it was beating. How unsteady she was. She hated how easy it was for him. How he didn’t even have to try, she was already so flustered next to him. And now he was dragging her down, his torso attached to her back.

His voice was quieter when he spoke next. “You can still leave, y’know.” It was funny. The way he acted like a humble king, knowing damn well she would not leave. Knowing she was all his, melted and dreamy, as her unsureness was fading away under his intense but delicate touch. The words sounded like a formality, something he had to say just to say it.

A deep, gnawing ache settled in her chest, one that only worsened when he moved himself suddenly, ending on top of her. His breath was warm against her cheek, the air between them thick with something she wasn’t ready to name. Poppy’s fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, gripping it like a lifeline. Her body moved before her mind could catch up, closing that last inch of space between them.

The kiss wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t soft or slow or sweet. It was a collision, a crash, something that felt inevitable from the moment she stepped into the room. Billie’s hand slid into her messy, curly hair, fingers tangling at the base of her skull, pulling just enough to make her gasp.

It was enough for him to slip his tongue past her lips, to taste her in a way that felt more like a famished claim than anything else. His free hand found her small of her back, fingers digging in just hard enough to make her shiver and want more. It was new for her. And she loved it.

They melted. They burned. Together. 

It’s crazy how two living beings can become one in an act of “dirty, sinful” desire. 

It’s crazy how quickly desire can turn into peace. 

Or regret.

[marumafan]

I don't know if you've watched the anime but I swear season 3 is the most Yuuram season even after the animators decided to stray from some of the original storylines.

I have watched the anime, yes. It was the first type of maruma media I consumed. I have to disagree with your point of view. Saralegui is presented as an obstacle to the royal couple's relationship from the get go in season 3. Also, all the yuuram episodes are lifted from novel stories. My opinion: Here are my problems with season 3, other than the fact that 'the story is different'. Problem 1. The main sin of season 3 is that it's "Saralgui-focused", and I don't like him. The main reason I don't like him, is that Saralegui was presented as a 'contestant' for Yuuri's love in the anime (not the case in the novels, where he was always presented as a lil shit). If anything, it's when Yuuri and Wolf's relationship gets stronger, in the Seisakoku arc. Problem 2. Characters have no growth. No one changes. So it's all stagnant characters with no development in the anime. Biggest problem is Yuuri, because he's the FREAKING MC! (this is also a problem with seasons 1 and 2) Problem 3. The royal couple is taken as a joke. In the anime: Yuuri doesn't accept anything, Wolfram still gets jealous. There's no closeness. Any time there's a hint of anything moving forward, they take it back immediately. Boo! Give me novel yuuram or give me death. I just remembered they also TOOK the arrow scene from Wolf! Yuuri and Wolf's relationship is CHANGED forever with the arrow scene and they gave that to Saralegui! Problem 4. Magical Boy Sailor Yuuri reviving everyone with the power of love. Please, no. Things I liked about season 3:

Season 3, episode 4: Greta and Yuram. Cute episode adapted from "When I was lost a kuma.. ha .. chi?!", story. Original story by Takabayashi-sensei, gaiden 3 special edition. (one of the OVAs was also adapted from this SAME story)

Season 3, episode 15: "Wind's Lullaby" is inspired by "The Girl's a Witch", published in Beans Bunko, number 10. - Interestingly enough, this story was used to announce Season 3. This can very well mean that Takabayashi-sensei wrote the story to give the anime team something to work with. (Also, story: In Greta's Mirror, novel 16)

Season 3, episode 39, "Until we meet again". The last scene is beautiful. Yes, when Yuuri comes back, yes. But that's it. I watched the third season 11 years ago, so I may be forgetting something (I'm not including the OVAs here btw. But most stories there were lifted off the novels too, like that Kumahachi one with Gwendal, that's also inspired by "When I was lost a kumahachi!" They used it for 1 OVA and episode 4 of season3. The OVA where Yuuri and Wolf "kiss" could very well be inspired from"'It happens to everyone" and all that. I can imagine GEG trying to pitch ideas and the anime team trying to make it funny... yikes.)

Anyway, as said before, the anime in general, not for me. Season 3 is especially bad because nothing works. They had changed the main story of maruma in season 1 AND given the anime story an ENDING in season 2! In season 3, they were cutting and pasting random stuff from the novels (adding all the weird Berias and who knows what characters to it too), trying to piece together a story... but it doesn't make sense ! Don't get me started with the coffin scene with Sara instead of Conrad (the moment when Yuuri realizes Conrad is NOT his enemy in the novels!), or the Gunter/Conrad fight (s.3.ep10) being a stupid random thing instead of what it is in the novels! (vol.9, chpt.8) Freaking blasphemous! -> THE FREAKING ARROW SCENE! WOLF'S ARROW SCENE! They gave THE most important yuuram moment to Saralegui. FFS! The more I think about it, the angrier I get XD Lol . I'm going to stop now. Season 3 is gonna be a 'no' for me.

[thesudokukid]

Chapter Five: Things Are Looking Up

WC: ~2,600 AO3

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Summary:

Do you like inner monologues? Do you like Ainsel? I hope you do because everything after the first scene in this chapter is in Ainsel's POV. (I'm not gonna let them be shoved into a corner and get ignored just because they can't speak atm)

You also think losing hope one more time might break you forever. You can't afford to break. Not forever, not now when your dad has lost pretty much everyone else. You can't afford to let yourself think of Connor staying. Of how badly you want for him to stay. (You think of it anyway)

Things to Note:

* Another reference to earlier when Connor said he wasn't a "real person"

* Usage of the words "break you forever". As in losing the will to live and probably not getting it back.

* Temporary usage of "The Big Light" aka Neurodivergent's Bane.

*Ainsel uses TTS (text to speech) to speak for the length of the chapter.

Connor sits in the passenger seat, looking in the rearview mirror. Ainsel is buckled in and asleep. Their Dracula audiobook is still playing.

This seems as good a time as any to ask his question.

"Last week, when we were chasing those Deviants, neither of you wanted me to cross the highway. Would you be able to explain that to me?"

Hank is quiet for a very long moment and Connor is opening his mouth to say the man can forget it. Because he clearly wants to focus on his driving. He has more important things to worry about than Connor's irrelevant questions.

Hank sighs, "Not sure if you knew, but it's pretty damn obvious my kid's had a fuckin' big influence on you."

Connor pushes down the impulse to feel nervous or afraid. He isn't a Deviant, he isn't doing anything wrong. It is entirely normal for an android, even one like himself, to be influenced by its owner's behavior.

"How so?"

Hank looks both ways as he turns before answering, "The way that you talk. It's not about the words you use to say things, it's how you set up the words. I'll try and explain later 'cause I'm fuckin' driving but I just thought you should know."

Connor thinks it over for a moment, unsure what to say next.

Hank interrupts his thoughts with, "It's a good thing. Trust me. Means you're less likely to swear for one since they don't really do it much. Them being your main influence also means that whatever else you end up being, you'll be a good person. Hopefully. Shit, you asked me a question, what was it again?"

Connor brings the matter up again, attempting to be less formal. "Last week when we were chasing those Deviants, neither of you wanted me to cross the highway and I'm struggling to understand why."

"Most people have been...shitty." Hank says before looking at Ainsel. As if there were any debate about the person being discussed. "You've been the exact opposite of that. You caught us both by surprise with that one, I'll admit. I'm sure you know that by now. You can probably connect the rest of the fuckin' dots yourself, but if you can't? For someone as lonely and they are, being good to 'em's reason enough for them to keep you from breaking your fuckin' neck. No guarantees whoever turns up to replace you is gonna be have as nice to 'em right?"

Connor nods and allows himself to sit quietly for the rest of the journey. The programming objects to this and only stops objecting when he begins his independent research on autism.

---

You're packing up your stuff to go home and as you're doing it, you hear Connor answering your dad's question about why he's "goofy looking" and has a "weird voice."

"Both my appearance and voice were designed to make it easier for me to blend in. Cyberlife androids are designed to work harmoniously with humans after all."

You finish packing up your things and find, when you look up, that Connor is already looking at you. You think maybe he's waiting to see how you react.

That your dad is waiting for the same thing.

As you turn around to look at him, your dad raises his hand before holding out a twenty for you to take.

"Make sure you stop at a gas station for some food," he says.

You begin typing, "I don't have a choice in this do I?"

"Fuck no," he says, putting it on your desk. "You almost died today. You're fuckin' taking it. And if you don't take it now, I'll just put it under your doormat or maybe in your mailbox."

"I won't take the twenty if you don't apologize to Connor for what you just said. For calling him goofy looking and saying he has a weird voice. I don't like it when you tease people like that. It's mean. And you know I can never tell the difference between joking and teasing, or bullying. And it's not very nice of you to do that to Connor when you know he can't do it back. It's, what did you call it?"

You nod at him when the TTS finishes speaking so that he can know it's okay for him to tell you.

"It's called punching down. And you're making a good point. I am being an asshole teasing or not since he can't say anything back. It wasn't fuckin' fair of me to say it where you could hear in the first place. Especially since you got bullied for half of sixth grade and you still get nervous n' embarrassed if someone laughs when you happen to walk past 'em. But it's also just not fair of me to say at all."

You raise an eyebrow, "You know, I'm hearing a lot of 'I should apologize to Connor'. But so far you've just been making your apologies to me. And not really any apologies to the person who's actually owed the apology."

"Yeah that's fair. Hey Connor?"

Connor looks around as if there might be another person named Connor behind him. Upon presumably seeing there isn't he looks back at your dad and points at himself in confusion. As if he's not sure your dad is talking about him. It's the most human gesture you've ever seen him make.

Your dad sighs wearily and looks in Connor's general direction.

"I want to apologize to you for bein' a shithead and being rude to you the same day I made a fuckin' apology about being an asshole to you the whole time I've known you. I get it if you don't wanna accept the apology. I won't hold it against you if you decide not to believe me. Or accept it. I don't fuckin' deserve to have it accepted so easily. But I wanted you to know I think it's a good thing you're here on the team. Best way I know how to do that is teasing, you know? Giving you shit the same way I do everyone else. But that only works when the other person can give as good as they get. Otherwise it's just bullying. And if there's one thing I can't fuckin' stand it's a damn bully. So, again, I'm sorry for being a shithead and calling you goofy looking and sayin' your voice is weird. That wasn't true. And even if it were that ain't your fucking fault. You're just fine, you got it?"

You look at Connor as indirectly as you can, trying to give him space to react however feels best to him. You don't want him to feel obligated to react a certain way just because he knows that you're watching.

"Thank you for apologizing to me...Hank. I understand that you didn't initially want my presence on the team and that your kind words, in addition to the apology, are a good faith gesture you're making so as to make up for any past behavior. It's one thing to say that you'd like to change your behavior and quite another to actually begin the attempt at doing so. It's a very brave thing for you to do. And it isn't a thing everyone has the capacity to achieve. And while I don't entirely think the apology is necessary, I do appreciate the spirit in which it was meant. Consider the incident forgotten. I won't hold it against you in the future and I would ask you not to hold it against yourself either as I plan to delete the incident from my memory entirely.”

He says the last sentence with a soft smile that makes you think he's probably joking. The smile is then accompanied by a wink as if to emphasize the same.

You chuckle and smile despite yourself as you pick up the twenty your dad laid on your desk. You also ignore the warm feeling pooling in your stomach. When that's done, you look straight at Connor and then begin making gestures for him to follow you. Things are looking up.

---

“I wanted to thank you for intervening on my behalf,” Connor says. “Especially since I upset you earlier. Which I'm sorry for doing by the way. I didn't…It was not my intention to cause any unpleasantness for you.”

You're beginning to see a split between Connor and his programming.

You suspect his programming would have wanted him to apologize just for upsetting you. After all that's how his words read on a surface level.

But the way he’s structured his words means that he's not only apologizing for upsetting you. He’s also apologizing for what caused you to be upset to begin with, calling himself “not a real person”.

And he's more than smart enough to know that's what he's saying. You know he is. And you're aware how big of a risk he probably took to convey that to you.

“Thank you for your apology. And you're welcome. For the help.”

You don't bother with saying what his apology is for because you're pretty sure that both of you know.

You're sorely tempted to talk more. To explain to Connor what goes on in your head when your ability to speak shuts off but reason that if it's going to happen, it's best to do it at home. And so you don't.

It's not that you doubt his ability to multitask or hold a conversation while driving or anything. Far from it.

But what you've learned about him suggests that he'll want to give your explanation his full attention. After all, he's never been anything but laser focused on you when you speak. About anything. No matter how boring or mundane the subject matter. There's no reason he wouldn't want to continue the pattern.

And besides, he might need it someday on another assignment. With someone else. He'll have to leave one day whether you like it or not. Best to give him as much knowledge as you can before that day comes.

You're admittedly a little curious to see how much you'll be able to teach Connor before he has to leave. And more than a little anxious Cyberlife will try and make him forget everything you try to teach him.

But you have to try. You just do. You just...do. He deserves to know about life and the world and the way he should be treated. And if that means you have to be the snake in Cyberlife's walled garden, that's what you'll be. If it means you have to help Connor open his eyes, help him bite into the apple with the forbidden knowledge of good and evil, that's what it means.

You just hope he'll be receptive to what you have to teach him. Whatever decision he makes in the end... Whatever side he ends up on, you want to know that he's deciding with his eyes open. And that he understands the ramifications of his choice. You won't be able to live with yourself if things go any other way.

---

When you get home, Connor asks you where your dad lives.

"In case of an emergency," he says.

You point across the street.

"In that direction," Connor asks.

You shake your head, smiling, and type out, "No, he lives in that house. That's his home."

Connor goes into your house first after you disarm your security system and give him permission to go inside.

Any other time, you'd insist on going in first and you think he'd allow it since after all, it's your house. But today is different because you've had a near death experience. And your dad, insofar as you can tell, explicitly asked him to look out for you today.

His behavior earlier that day suggests it's also genuine concern on his part. But you can't afford to be sure. That way lies danger.

There have been too many times when you've thought of someone as your best friend when in reality they barely tolerated you.

Hurtful words are a million times more familiar to you than kind ones. You don't want to give yourself any false hope bout how much Connor means his kindness. Or let yourself believe that he'll mean it enough to Deviate so he can stay with you.

The world has granted you enough miracles for one day. No matter how badly you want him to stay, you can't ask the universe to grant you this. You just can't. You owe it too much already. If the universe grants you this miracle, if it lets Connor stay, you'll have to abandon all hope of being able to pay back the debt that you owe to it already. The thought of that scares you more than you'd like to admit.

You also think losing hope one more time might break you forever. You can't afford to break. Not forever, not now when your dad has lost pretty much everyone else. You can't afford to let yourself think of Connor staying. Of how badly you want for him to stay. (You think of it anyway)

---

Heading into your home you're all kinds of distressed to see that the ceiling light is on. The "Big Light" as a fellow neurodivergent person might say.

You sigh, because he doesn't know better and then walk inside.

You close the door behind you so the outside air doesn't rob your home of its current coziness. But after that's done, priority number one is turning on the hall light. The hall light, due to being trapped in the hall, has been rendered docile. Meaning of course that it's much kinder to your overstimulated eyes than the "Big Light" aka Neurodivergent's Bane.

When it's flipped on you carry out the most urgent, important task ever to exist. Turning off the big light.

You take your phone out of your pocket and explain to Connor why you did it.

"I don't think, in a scenario where I'm already overstimulated, that it's a good idea to have on a ceiling light."

Connor nods and he shrinks back a little. Almost as if he's expecting that you'll go off on him for making such a simple mistake.

"I'm not mad at you," you clarify. "Because you were just trying to help and you might not know where the other lights are. But I want you to know, that light there in the hall is usually enough light for me to navigate even when it's dark."

---

You suspect Connor's probably like you and Does Not Do Well when it comes to sitting idle. You decide right then and there you're going to find something to do and then maybe invite him to join you.

You're not sure what will distract him. Aside from maybe showing him one of your favorite shows. And then letting him to try to puzzle out why it's your favorite.

Whatever you expose him to, it's best if it's for families. It's, as far as you know, his first time watching anything that isn't the news. Or maybe even his first time watching anything generally. And you'd like it to be a nice experience for him. Pleasant even. You don't want to traumatize him right out of the gate.

When you've made your decision, (The Eleventh Doctor's first episode Eleventh Hour, a classic in every respect) you lie down on the floor, and start searching for it on your TV.

That "goofy-looking" comment always sort of bothered me. It's not wildly out of character for Hank but it's ALSO not out of character for him to hate bullies. Felt right for him to call himself out for being a bully.

If there was anything you liked, I'd love to hear it. Long or short, question or not.

[sillyname30]

I just listened to the latest episode of and that's what you really missed on Glee. Part 2 of the Darren episode.

Jenna: Somewhere Only We Know is a fan favorite. Darren:  Keane was one of my favorite bands in highschool. I was doing it in LA and I remember I was really weirded out by it because I love this record. I didn't dislike it. I just was this is such a good record. I don't want to tarnish this and this is how I felt on the day we were at that school. I have really sensitive eyes. And they had those giant mirrors. I was melting. (You can tell by looking at the performance.) But the lesson I take away with this is once you make something and it's released to the world it does not belong to you any longer. Whatever experience people have with something that you made belongs to them and their experience.

Kevin: I want to hear when you first started working with Chris because Blaine and Kurt became a worldwide cultural sensation. Darren: I came in with luckily the tools to really appreciate for what I was doing in some way. I just so happen to have a strong and comfortable relationship with queerness itself. I live a very cultural queer life. I felt a huge responsibility but also was like 'Man, I'm glad that it's me because I don't mind talking about this. I don't get skittish.'

I met Chris and I watched him on TV and I know how much people love him. I'm supremely aware any time spent with him be near impossible outside of Glee once the episode is on. I had tickets to go to see Sutton Foster. I just met this person. And he's like a big deal, very recognizable cultural figue at this point. And I say: 'Hey, man. I have an extra ticket to see Sutton Foster tonight. Do you wanna go? My treat. Let's get some dinner, get to know each other a little bit. We have all these scenes coming up and it be nice just to start this relationship in a more personal way than we're doing on set.' And bless his fucking heart he said yes.

Darren: I have never met any from your side. We were two different planets for a long time. I'm on my own show. Different people, different building. By the time I interacted with you, you guys were your own cliques/family. I remember the tour was the first time I spent time with you guys personally. I will never forget walking around Toronto by myself. I remember walking into a bar and Naya and Dianna were having drinks in the back. And at this point I don't really know them. They were like 'come, sit down.' And I remember at the end of that I was like 'so good to meet you guys.'

Darren on the difference of his Glee experience: I'm came in like the 11th hour, but I'm not shooting every day. I'm maybe shooting a day or two and when I do, it's just my shit. If I was there I was doing something. Even on the tour you did 85 % of the show. I park my fucking blazered ass on stage for 10 minutes, do 3 songs and I was out.

What is the feeling that Glee leaves you with? It's such a gleeful experience. I know there are a lot of hairy things that people may think they know happened on the show or project happened on the show. Maybe because I'm a happy idiot, because I can block out that stuff, maybe because I just was at the right place at the right time. I had an A+ experience on that show. I loved every minute, every person truly. I have a wonderful, positive story about every single person individualy.

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

thoughts on every gravity falls episode except the last time we watched the full series was back when we had our wisdom teeth removed and they range from actual insightful thoughts to ‘heheh >:]’

first!! honorable mention: the pilot episode! ae always liked this one, though the show we got definitely is much better. also boo-berry

tourist trapped - immaculate intro episode. introduces the characters we’ll be seeing most often, gives us a decent idea of what they’re like (even stan, we get to see him giving the kids stuff for free just to cheer them up), and it introduces the weirdness of gravity falls, all in a pretty well-paced manner. good episode, very good, 10/10

the legend of the gobblewonker - fiddleford introduction episode!! also gobblewonker our beloved <3 the photos of them spending time with stan in the end are so wholesome, they all look so happy, *squeak of delight*

headhunters - so incredibly depressing once you know about ford. is so startled to see a statue of himself that he shouts and falls backwards (is that how he would’ve reacted if ford had shown up in the shack suddenly?). screams and stutters when he finds the statue beheaded, something we never really see him doing, at least not all that often. cries and has to run out of the room when he’s in the funeral. is so happy to get the statue’s head back and put it back on the body. :[

the hand that rocks the mabel - UNCOMFY. it was good! we learn there’s another journal, and it introduces an antagonist we’ll be seeing a lot of. dipper being willing to break up with gideon for mabel because she feels too trapped to do so herself is so lovely, ae love them. episode really nailed the whole icky squirmy bad she was feeling

the inconveniencing - this was our favorite episode for a while, and it’s still one of our top beloveds

dipper vs. manliness - TRANS TRANS TRANS TRANS- oh ahem sorry. got overtaken by a ghost or somethin for a moment there

double dipper - the clones were fun, ae liked them a lot. it’s a very neat concept that a lot can be done with, it was nice to see dipper and tyrone make up and talk, and ae’m very glad they kept dipper 3 and 4 alive to the very end. also ae completely forgot the reason the clones were even made was cause romance or somethin

irrational treasure - ae live for mabel having it affirmed to her that her silliness is not a bad thing, and that’s she’s best just being who she is and not trying to dampen that

the time traveler’s pig - waddles yippie!! also stan turning mabel, who is so depressed she’s been standing in the same place long enough for vines to grow on her and just keeps knocking her head against a pole and muttering ‘waddles’, into a tourist attraction is wild. time travel is confusing, that too

fight fighters - ae am firmly under the belief that stan’s fear was not as cured as he thought it was. mabel and him being on the water tower was neat. we liked those scenes

little dipper - always liked the scene with stan in the mirror maze with gideon. he’s so clever, but then gideon starts breaking shit and stan’s like ‘hEY KNOCK IT OFF’. stan just sort of. kicking him out the door and closing it with such a ‘done with this bullshit’ expression on his face

summerween - another one of our top beloved episodes, and the most nostalgic one for us. we love summerween <3

boss mabel - this was an interesting, but good, one. ae saw some really neat fanart of a scene from it, but ae don’t know who made it and ae have since lost it. basic rundown is that it was art of the scene where the couple look into the gremloblin’s eyes and need to be brought to the hospital, except there was like. a gif of multiple pictures of real eyes in the gremloblin’s eyes. cool stuff

bottomless pit - ae liked the stories :]

the deep end - it was good, we just aren’t that into it personally. it’s like…one of those episodes you put on in the background cause you like it so you don’t mind listening to it but it’s not your favorite enough that you’re going to be distracted by it y’know

carpet diem - ohhhh this is also a very very very good one, yes yes yes

boyz crazy - remember lebam

land before swine - yippie, dinosaurs!! but also a very uncomfortable episode for us, just for. personal reasons

dreamscaperers - wh- there’s two ‘er’s?? since when??

gideon rises - spoilers, he, in fact, does not. also poor waddles :[

scary-oke - ae like this one a lot!!! that’s it! ae like it! it’s good!

into the bunker - idk shifty seemed kinda like. murderous. and intentionally traumatizing. to us. more than anything

the golf war - poor sergio man. honestly the first thing that comes to mind when watching this episode is 1. pit colas have actual pits in them and 2. pacifica getting yanked backwards into the bushes

sock opera - puppet boy puppet boy you’re the one ae glooooooooooovvvvveeee

soos and the real girl - melody intro!!! also soos has a cousin that looks almost exactly like him but is significantly less desirable

little gift shop of horrors - ae liked stan’s stories. also he canonically kidnapped someone and put them on display

society of the blind eye - gives much more characterization to fiddleford plus a bit of his past. the scene of him accepting it and thanking the kids for helping him is so heartwarming

blendin’s game - ae invoke gLOBNARRRRRRRRRR

the love god - ae’m sure you can guess our thoughts on this one

northwest mansion mystery - ae love this one just for the characterization and growth it gives pacifica. main reason that she’s one of our top favorite characters

not what he seems - FERAL SCREECHJNG (POSITIVE)

a tale of two stans - 12/10. it was the best of times. it was the worst of times

dungeons, dungeons, & more dungeons - this is where one of our favorite ford quotes came from

the stanchurian candidate - we never really liked this one. not sure why. it’s just not for us, ae guess

the last mabelcorn - very good episode! very very…imperch

roadside attraction - is it bad that we consider stan getting baited and fucked over by a spider lady the best part of the episode

dipper and mabel vs. the future - top favorite episode of all time. our number one

weirdmaggedon one - oHHHHHH SHIT

weirdmaggedon two - mabel and dipper. pat pat. you agree

weirdmaggedon three - sobs it’s so perfect…stan :[ and the credits ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

y’know. ae think making this list was a good idea. reminds us why we love this series so much. yeah, the fandom sucks, but that was never what it was about. it was about the world and the characters and what it all means to us. and what it means to us is everything <3

[twilightknight17]

On this round of P3R, we’re heading to the red-light district!

But first, I just want to say, Fuuka’s link requires MAX COURAGE to start? Omg. Now I’m assuming Mitsuru needs max academics. Good god. NG+ is absolutely gonna be needed for this.

So it’s now the third (technically fourth) full moon! And now that I’m thinking about the Magician and that whole mess, I think it’s a little funny that no one in SEES, in any of our downtime, has ever questioned, “Hey, what the fuck was that thing that ripped itself out of Orpheus and bodied the Magician in one shot? It might help with some of these slogging battles.” But no. It’s fine. We don’t need to know what that vastly powerful persona was. Whatever. Let’s rock.

Shirakawa Boulevard, despite Ikutsuki’s attempts to talk around it, is where the love hotels are!

I’m pressing X to doubt, sir!

So we’re off to the Champs de Fleurs hotel, and actually other than the weird curtained waiting area and sexy price list next to the front desk, it does look pretty normal? Like, it’s a hotel. It’s got hotel hallways and elevators and stuff.

And then we get to the third floor and the equivalent to the presidential suite.

This is labeled as the Hierophant’s Chamber, and… Lovers is supposed to be here? Did the P3 movies just straight-up skip the Hierophant Shadow and I never noticed? XDDD The Hierophant is very round and kind of looks like a really big guy with a lady with a head made of coral behind him.

Hierophant wasn’t bad, actually, and we get to explore the room afterwards before heading back downstairs. The kids clown on a lot of the décor, but like, the silly round bed would be cool for the novelty, and who DOESN’T want a tub that big???

But when we try to leave, we all get knocked out, and Minato wakes up in a different room, where Yukari is taking a shower.

This sounds very like Orpheus, but it’s definitely not Orpheus, because Orpheus would know that Yukari is not our soulmate!

Yes I will continue being biased. XDDDDD

If you say anything other than the correct answer, you get a “wait, that doesn’t seem right” thought bubble, and the dialogue just loops back to the start. You cannot fuck up the mission and game over on a night of brainwashed debauchery. XD

Minato comes to his senses, gets up from the bed, and Yukari comes out wrapped in a towel. She abruptly realizes where she is, screams, and slaps Minato before running back in the bathroom. And… Yukari? I was literally just standing here. Holy shit. Is this the pre-Kyoto warmup scene? God.

NONE OF THIS WAS MY FAULT???

Fuuka gets through to us, and we go back up to the second floor to meet up with Junpei and Akihiko.

I can only assume Junpei and Akihiko were put in the same room.

No one accused you of anything. Although now I’m giggling wondering what would have happened if I’d brought Mitsuru along instead.

We roam the hotel to find the mirrors we need to break to get back into the suite, and this is weirdly hilarious, all things considered.

But eventually we find our way back into the boss arena, and the Lovers has the perfect design, honestly.

GOD is it a bitch to fight, though. This fight took AGES because EVERY time it cast a spell with a charm effect, people got brainwashed. God forbid anyone other than Minato ever dodge an attack. Jesus fuck. I used every single one of my patra gems and dis-charms. Plus it cast diarama halfway through and of course when a boss does that it heals THOUSANDS of HP back to full health. Just give it salvation if you’re gonna do that.

As a brief side note, I love that when Minato casts the Jack Bros’ fusion spell, he just casually walks “offstage” afterwards and leaves them to it.

But finally, we’re out of here.

...Yukari volunteered so that I couldn’t take her out of the party and ruin my scripted undeserved slap. X’D

Gee, Yukari, I wonder if it’s because no one ever has anything nice to say to him? He just gets treated like the comic relief.

Also, we’re being watched by these dudes.

So when you say “we” do you mean you three, or like… humanity as a whole?

Back to the dorm to sleep this bullshit off, and then we move on with our week!

...christ, dude, I just came to see how you were doing. Can I please have a dialogue option so we can talk about this??? No???? Okay… God, this is Mona all over again. My god damn Magicians are always having problems.

...well, that’s nice. I wasn’t expecting that.

People at school are gossiping about how the school was rebuilt after an explosion ten years ago, and I’m getting texts from my attendant, who I apparently haven’t added to my phone? But at least she texts nicely.

It’s pre-exam week, so all my social links are busy. Instead, my academics are lagging, so I’m studying with the members of SEES who aren’t cranky with me. That means Yukari and Fuuka, and Mitsuru and Akihiko. Akihiko recommends doing a quick workout after every few problems, because then, you’ll power through the next set in anticipation of getting to your next workout!

Everyone I live with is insane. I love them. :’D

Ikutsuki calls a meeting to discuss something important, but before he can get to it, Yukari wants to speak. She’s had Fuuka looking into some stuff from the incident that happened ten years ago, and now she wants answers, because she thinks Mitsuru has been hiding things from us.

Other than the explosion, students were sent to the hospital, even though they were formally noted as just “absent”. It’s the same thing that happened to the girls bullying Fuuka; they fell unconscious and were unresponsive. Turns out, yeah, it was the same sort of thing. And it was Mitsuru’s grandfather, Koetsu Kirijo’s fault.

In greater Persona lore, knowing that he broke off from the Nanjo Group, he probably had access to tech that made his bullshit significantly easier to pull off. At the very least, we know he had the blueprints for a prototype anti-shadow suppression weapon, and the method to create artificial persona-users. But of course, he pushed too far.

(Sorry that these subtitles are kind of blurry. Basically, they gathered up a shitload of shadows and then lost control of them, because of course they did.)

Tartarus and the Dark Hour exist because of all of this. The lab explosion happened because they lost control, and because the lab was around/under Gekkoukan, it ended with the school needing to be rebuilt as well.

Yukari is not pleased with this development. She feels like we’re just being used to clean up other people’s mess. But as Ikutsuki puts it, we’re the only ones who can fix things. Normal people can’t fight shadows.

He also says that no one knows why the Arcana Shadows suddenly reappeared after ten years, but… Well.

No one is okay after this.

Junpei is angry because he feels like nothing he does is good enough, and that all he’s really good at is fighting, which won’t be necessary anymore if the Dark Hour vanishes.

Akihiko goes to see Shinji, who he apparently grew up with in an orphanage with someone named Miki, to tell him that they know how to stop the shadows now. But Shinji still won’t come back to SEES.

Me and Minato aren’t okay because I’ve finally started this guy’s social link, and he’s a dick.

Yukari’s dad was the lead researcher on the shadow stuff that led to the explosion, so I assume that he’s the one who got blamed for everything. Ikutsuki mentioned that the media picked one dude and demonized him.

I think this date is wrong, though. If it was ten years ago, that’d be 1999. Right? :/ It’s also just funnier if the lab exploded like 3 weeks after the Sumaru crisis ended.

But I saved the cat! So everything is not a complete wreck.

Pharos comes back to see me and implies some sketchy shit about my parents.

My parents (and my sister, shush, I’m pretending it’s canon) did not explode, though. So this isn’t their fault.

We’re absolutely friends.

After affirming that at least one person will stick by me to the end, even if that one person is a strange child who keeps waking me up at midnight, I come home from school the next day to find everyone sitting around experiencing the most awkward silence ever conceived.

Akihiko, no!

Thankfully, we manage to talk through what’s bothering the group as a whole (Junpei is still mad at me, I think), and Ikutsuki shows up to suggest that after exams, we all go on vacation to Mitsuru’s family’s summer home on the island of Yakushima. Her dad is going to be there, apparently!

Mitsuru reluctantly agrees, Yukari apologizes to her for being too gung-ho and accusatory the other night, and I think we’re all chill again. Which is good.

…….it’s my last night before exams and my option for study-buddy is Ikutsuki???

Nah. I’m out.

[skeletons-eat]

I watched 'the last Jedi' for the first time (for real not only clips n stuff) and here are my thoughts.

Okay can we please talk about the last jedi????? Because!???? I just watched it and I absolutely loved it ngl. I am huge fan of the force awakens but hadn't watched the last two of the sequel films due to the hate n stuff but I adored this film, especially the end.

So let's start at the last scene of SW:TLJ.

That kid telling his friends about what we had just scene beforehand (or perhaps another part of Luke's life as a reference to this moment?), then grabbing the broom with the force and then afterward showing him in a 'Jedi pose' with the resistance-symbol-ring ? Amazing. Especially with the Context of Luke saying beforehand that kylo was wrong when he stated that there will be no more rebellion and jedi.

We as the audience think in that moment of our protagonists i. e. Finn, rey, Poe, etc, but what I believe is more significant is that there will always be people out there who wish to do good and who will rebel in the face of oppression. Neither the Empire nor the first order or any sith in the galaxy can destroy all hope there is because that's something that will never die!

And hope is in star wars synonominous with the light and the Jedi, thus making it the major statement that comes with this movie.

This is also underlined with Luke's final ending in that movie.

When we were I triduced to him in the sequels he was supposed to mirror Obi-Wan from the OT, which we dont think makes much sense at first because we still know Luke as our Luke. The one who redeemed Vader. The one who beet Palpatine. Our chosen one who helped rebalanced the Galaxy and who rebuild the Galaxy.

What we as an audience begin to understand is that even paragons of light like Luke are able to fail. Are able to make mistakes and hurt others in a persute to do the right thing. That even they will be affected by traumas and fears no matter what.

And I believe that that was the right thing to do. We saw Luke in his prime so it was good to see him at his lowest simply because he was able to heal from that. And only because someone believed in him. Someone he had never met but had a undeniable connection to. Which again reflects what he did for Vader in RotJ.

I also loved Finn and Rose in this movie they were amazing and funny and cool and no I dont take criticism.

I also really liked Poe's character development from what one would consider overconfident soldier to true leader that we saw in the movie especially since it manifests to us that these characters are actively growing.

And I can't leave before mentioning rey simply because I love her for her character and hate how the made her pretty dependant to kylo as a character. I am a person who dislikes kylo/Ben and this whole ship since I'd find it better to have more of her alone and less of him but anyway.

Rey was figureing out a lot of stuff in this movie, though I enjoyed her actually verbally beating the shit out of Luke since she has no social etiquette which is AMAZING.

Her whole development with the force training and stuff was also really cool and I simply loved her screen time (except for Kyle).

Getting to my least favourite part (though I kept to the major points here);Kyle Ron/Ben.

I personally greatly dislike him as a Person. The idea behind his Character though is quite good if you think about it. The whole point of the ST is to mirror the OT and twist it up weirdly in the which comes off as 'history rhymes but is ever changing', but in this case it twists it in a way which makes the first order seem rediculous and pathetic.

Which makes sense since eveil generally is.

I like how they made the bad guys actually unlikable and weird and only out to do what is best for themself and don't understand how horrible they come off as, because evil isn't smart ( at Keats not in most cases) .

And it mirrors the Empire in way which worsens that very image because this empire is this big machine of terror and power and the first order just...tries to be that even though they can't. It's truly as easy as that and I love how they redicule evil and make it seem stupid. Because that's what it is simply put.

[diagonal-queen]

thungo thursday: how the hell did we get here so fast

'dad never even came to pick me up' SAME AYA LMAOO

they really did make the right choice for bram's va. i don't remember his name but all i know is that he's a seasoned anime va, but it like REALLY fits him fr

i'll never get over how much i love this intro you guys like it's so chaotic and colourful and dark and granrodeo is so good and this song especially is so epic and kishow supremacy

OH MY GOD watching chuuya struggle to breathe is like stressing me out so much that i need to pause and take deep breaths of my own lmao

AYO WHY DOES DAZAI LOOK LIKE A CRYPTID LMAOOOO

also i'm so jealous of him being able to cup sigma's cheek while I cannot

dazai and sigma are so weird to me as a ship because most of the ships i like are '[character that is just like me] + [character who i would have a crush on if i knew them]' but i kin both dazai and sigma so it's like watching the two opposite sides of me frolick around and it's so chaotic

sigma, literally drowning: 😰😰😰😰😰 dazai, also drowning: •-•

if i had a nickel for every time dazai stood on sigma's back/shoulders while they were breaking out of prison i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

(yes i know i use that meme format a lot NO I WON'T STOP)

WET CAT SIGMA (and no i didn't replay the sounds of him gasping for air, why on earth would you think that)

we have both now <3333333333 thumbs up dazai best dazai

imagine someone asks atsushi how he knew to do things or how he had the mind to move forward and he replies 'the voices' but like he's deadly serious and it actually was the voices

wait dazai literally did that to sigma in prison didn't he shfkjhdhgjkhsk

wait so in the manga sigma can read russian, but in the anime he can't? is bones actively bimbo-ifying characters??? how are we letting this slide

akutagawa doing some goku type shit is the funniest thing ever bro actually said 'SHIAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH'

bones you don't need to remind us all about how much you fucked up akutagawa's death scene ok. his dub va literally predicted that his death would be done poorly and he was RIGHT ABOUT IT

(who would win. gonta and monokuma vs dazai and akutagawa)

if dazai's got a broken leg and losing blood very quickly then why is he grunting and moaning like that huh what's that all about

YEAH GET FUCKED FYODOR LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

fyodor: because of dazai you realised something about yourself sigma...[describes me, dia, in disturbingly accurate detail]

i'm sorry but the gay agenda has warped me into viewing a man putting a gun to the head of a man on his knees not as a serious and threatening crime but as foreplay. this is what the gays are doing to today's youth. way cup america

brams life must suck. imagine life exactly the same except you can't frolick in the sun, smell roses, wear silver jewellery, finger gun yourself in the mirror or eat garlic bread. also the 'lacking a body and personal autonomy' thing but who needs those amirite

OH MY GOD THE GIRL **WAS** BRAM'S DAUGHTER!!!!! IT WAS HIS KID THE WHOLE TIME!!!!! YOU GUYS OH MY GOD/??????!!??!!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't even feel bad for laughing when fyodor started having his mental breakdown like bro what is that face. is this what nikolai sees every night??? man no wonder he went insane

tfw they fisheye atsushi from afar while he's being stabbed in his vitals

i hope they have a stash of strepsils for atsushi's va in the recording studio

BRO WHY IS FYODOR MOANING TF

yknow that episode when teruko aged tachihara down to a child and he looked rounder and stuff? thats fyodor right now

no but actually imagine being pulled so hard that your leg and arm come off OUCHIES what is it with people and taking atsushi's body parts and like stroking them or whatever. if it were me, the only body part of atsushi's i'd be stroking is his di

fyodor you're a great character but i can't help but notice that you just stabbed my husband and then kicked him in the face. unfortunately you have no choice but for me to ruthlessly kill you dead

so much is happening rn i feel bad for the anime onlys who have to process all this shit within one episode whereas we got several chapters to soak it into our skull sponges

yeah, me too sigma. me too

LMAO DAZAI CALLED CHUUYA A BITCH????? THEY LITERALLY BICKER EVERY TIME THEY INTERACT WHY IS THIS PARTICULAR THING SO FUNNY TO ME

maybe its just cus like 'bitch' is a funny word especially. they can call each other 'ass' and 'bastard' and 'dick' all they want but nothing tops a good 'bitch!!'

hold on bones no. NO. you can't do that. dazai was shot once in the head by chuuya, then he smiles and laments before the scene ends and it's left ambiguous if he dies or not. YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE CHUUYA USING HIS CORPSE AS TARGET PRACTICE

asagiri: i wonder how i should design one order flowey from undertale: asagiri: amazing. brilliant. this will be perfect

well, fuck. im terrified for next week!!

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: One Cursed Rose by Rebecca Zanetti

3/5. Releases 6/25/24.

Heat Index: 8/10

Vibes: dark romance, fantasy x Black Mirror, stalker/virgin, dudes who speak Gaelic (if that's your thing)

Alana, heiress to a social media giant (in a word where tech and magic collide) is being forced to marry the heir to a competing family. That's derailed by an assassination attempt... and Alana being kidnapped by Thorn, head of a rival company. Obsessed with Alana, Thorn refuses to let her go. What he doesn't know is that she has no plans to submit; but she'll welcome the pleasure he offers.

So... yeah. I have really mixed feelings on this one, and I want to add a few caveats. First, I think there is an an audience for this. I'm just not that audience. Second, I think that Rebecca Zanetti has a style that for sure fits the fast, snappy pacing you want from a dark romance. And the sex scenes (while I have a quibble) are hot. I enjoyed how this went full camp in terms of the kidnapping, and there were some really cool touches.

However, this one has a LOT of world stuff happening. The world is run by social media! I mean, timeline. The social media is run on crystals! Kinda meta, I can see it. But there are mafia vibes, and a subplot about like, Thorn killing bad guys including pedophiles, and I think this suffered from Zanetti having to keep too many balls in the air at one time. If this had been a couple of those things versus all of those things, I think we could've focused more on the couple, and really developed the good things there.

Quick Takes:

--This actually got off to a good start for me! Thorn is a stalker. I love a stalker hero. (By the way: Zanetti offers content warnings at the beginning of the book; I did not take issue with any of them myself, and they do not impact my view of this book.) And you know what? I loved that he kinda stayed a creep. Thorn? Was weird as hell. We just went with it.

I do wish that Thorn hadn't been like... so hypercompetent with Alana, and so self-aware. When a hero's inner monologue in first person is like "I'm a sociopath, I guess"... it just feels very... edgy. It's not that I'm against a sociopathic or psychopathic hero. I just feel like that kind of awareness and acknowledgment is tough to sell in the first person. Maybe through dialogue? Not through the inner monologue.

--Alana is a nice heroine, but I don't think she was nearly as distinct as Thorn. A major part of Alana's personality seemed to be responding to Thorn and being a virgin. (More on that later.) I think that for me, a lot of the issue was that she really responded to him sexually far too early in the book, while at the same time being so inexperienced.

Now... I'll acknowledge that the "virgin jumps into shit after being kidnapped" thing has worked for me in a couple of books. However, it is a HARD sell, and it's a harder sell when a heroine is as inexperienced as Alana seems to be (I didn't get the vibe that she was a totally inexperienced woman, but I also didn't get the sense that she was an "everything but" girl, the way one virgin heroine who worked for me in this scenario was). She just moves REALLY fast on accepting Thorn and the type of sex he wanted to have. The sex he wants to have isn't crazy, but it's a lot for a girl on Alana's experience level.

--Now, the world here is interesting and high stakes. But again, I think there was just too much going on. I never really got what the magic system... was. And I kind of couldn't help but feel like Zanetti wanted to write a mafia romance (this read in a lot of ways as a mafia romance) but also wanted to connect it to fantasy and a higher concept. It's not a bad idea, and I can always appreciate a big swing. It just didn't really work for me.

--This is a very clear Beauty and the Beast retelling. I love that. But there is a character named Coggsworth here. I've gotta tell y'all: it is kind of a pet peeve of mine for retellings to directly reference Disney, versus doing a new spin based entirely on the actual fairy tale. It just takes me out of the story, and it definitely did here.

--Thorn has Lexical-gustatory synesthesia. It basically means that he tastes voices, and I REALLY liked that. It was unique, it added texture (he chews mints a lot when he's around shitty people because their voices taste bad, Alana's voice tastes like honey which also adds to why he wants to do Certain Things) and I haven't read it before. Do I know if Zanetti portrayed it accurately? I don't know. But in terms of the way it was portrayed, it was really interesting.

The Sex:

The sex was hot. I wouldn't say it's intense BDSM, but there's definitely flavor there--you have edging, orgasm denial, lots of spanking (and I did appreciate that Thorn used lotion to try to prevent bruising, I don't know that it was effective but the boy tried) and some rough sex with light dubcon vibes. It's well-written, and I won't lie, the sex scenes were probably my favorite part of the book.

What I did struggle with was the fact that this was set in a world pretty much like ours but with magical social media stuff... and there was SO much emphasis on the hymen. Like, I kind of let it pass when it was a part of this virginity test situation mentioned by the bad guys. But then Thorn continued to reference it, there was an anatomical reference during the first penetrative sex scene... I don't know. I don't mind some virginity fetishization, especially in dark romance, but the emphasis on the hymen SPECIFICALLY felt kind of dated. Couldn't he have just talked about her tight pussy or whatever?

Anyway--this wasn't for me, but I do plan on trying more Rebecca Zanetti stuff. She came highly recommended to me, I can tell she's talented, and I'd like to see a less crammed plot or world from her.

Thanks to NetGalley and Kensington for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[violettierre]

Oh wait ykw this whole barbie movie talk makes me remember the barbie centered stuff in my life hold up i gotta rant this.

Honestly i think all my peers or whoever grew up between early 2000s or late 90s knows the absolute power of barbie toys in that era, personally i had a wild history with em when i was like still in elementary school and my parents get me a barbie doll i just feel like a high class coolest kid in town and yet i also had this weird urge where within 24h that barbie or gonna be stripped and cut with scissors all limps cut to cubes and beheaded and i just take her head and clothes and throw the rest near my parents' mirror desk and that place around that time is where you find the gruesome crime scenes i commit on barbie dolls and then have to beg my parents to get me another one but i get yelled at for the wasted money and then cry and rant about the cruel world in my fairy notebook, but then once again wgen we go out and i see barbie dolls i have to male an entire speech and promise to my mom that i won't practice my serial killer career on it and she gets me one and again within 24h the remaining of another victim is found nesr their mirror desk beheaded and stripped and cut into pieces, and repeat the process, but you may wonder, what was i doing with the head and clothes ? First i cut her hair and then diy my very own aesthetic pencils from 2000s if anyone remembers those colorful pebcils with something on top of it like a heart ir a unicorn while i put barbie heads on regular pencils to act cool infront of my classmates who were too weirded out to make a remark and so did the teachers, meanwhile the clothes i collect i just cut them from different colors into cubes that were messy and out of line and then like glue each one into a string yk like these carnival decorations but very ugly and short and cheap version and hang them on top of my bed, cuz i thought i did something, but my childhood room was like really plain it had nothing colourful or toys in it just like a desk with school items and messy clothes and these normie stuff so back then when i added shit like that i thought i just decorated the coolest room you've ever been into, until my mom ripped it off cuz it was ugly and i had a mental breakdown and felt as if she just ruined my very own special career that i had just came up with and was like "YOU'RE JEALOUS OF ME" bit then i got a good beating with the special arab mom silicone slippers for talking back to my mom, so yah then the creativity dyi era was over. Psycho barbie fan era never was tho, cuz in the 2000s if you didn't have barbie or hello kitty or these merchandise stuff on in my school you're a loser and i didn't want anyone else to find out im a loser so i beg my mom once again to buy me any pink shit i see and after begging and crying and getting beaten with slippers for being noisy i just show up at lunch breaks in outdoors time as if im a celebrity trying to impress the crowd with my latest pink hair clip that costed me my dignity infront of my mom, my little brother, and the seller while no one gave a fuck so i got angry and punched my neighbor in the nose for ignoring me showing off my hairclip so she told her mom, and her mom told my mom, and i got another goid beaten.

You'd think i stopped as i got a little older but nooooooo, when i was pre-teen i was more babyish than before about these stuff, why ? Cuz they got a little sister more barbie toys than me cuz she never pull a dr. Frankenstein on them (what a loser) so like the older and more mature child i fool her to watch tv or something so i can play silently with her barbies, and in that time they got her the dreamhouse and all these extra mini barbie stuff that i never got for being such a good kid so i get jealous and lock her out if her room to play with them, then take a doll hostage to threaten her if she tries to snitch on me, like the good older sister i am <3 (she still snitched btw and i deserved the beating that time)

[centrally-unplanned]

Delayed Season 4 Buffy thoughts! Should have posted the messy first draft as a metaphor for Season 4's plot composition eyooo - *cough* okay Buffy stuff first:

Pathetic!Spike is hilarious, I love him <3 It is certainly a "weird", choice, like there is incredibly simply no reason for the Scoobies to keep him alive as long as they do. They did not put in the work to have this all make sense. But he is the lodestone of some of the better episodes, you can tell they wanted it to work and so waved away the logic a bit.

Halloween is cringe is so great, and I like to note that Season 2 Spike, while not intentionally doing, did not pass up an opportunity to try to kill Buffy on Halloween. All vamps are secretly cringe.

“I tend to hear the actual words that people say and accept them at face value”: Finally, the tumblr autism representation we needed

Re: Hush, no soundtrack would have been cool but I think it would have just authentically been too daring for TV. This is one of the episodes that wasn't a "fight" but was a bit of a ~execs handwringing~ moment, so I think pushing it too far wasn't really in the cards. Also am curious now if Buffyverse just has a different Bible - they definitely haver a different theology!

"Willow’s crusader costume is cute": I also appreciated Oz as God, very "of the era" adorkable but it works - just like crushing on Willow, right of passage for 2000's nerds.

"Joyce/Giles Dating": First off amazing to find a Joyce/Giles shipper, you aren't settling for second place on the niche awards. I agree they have some chemistry, but authentically? I think Giles ain't into her. The reality is they hook up under the influence of magic drugs, Actual!Joyce is much more straight-laced, and as history shows Giles's type has a bit of a roguish streak. Setting aside the fact that he doesn't wanna fuck where he eats as it were, I think authentically he doesn't see spark-sparks even if they have physical chemistry. Leaves you free to date Giles though, bonus!

Thanksgiving Episode: I have a soft spot for this one because, yeah, like it doesn't "age" well? But also it kind of does - it really is a 2000's bottle of the same concoction 2010's Social Justice internet is gonna be dunking into its own mix drink. It is cringe but college freshman being cringe about ethics is so real. Also Spike is pro-genocide, my precious <3

Faith Arc: I agree this sort of "therapy" arc actually hits really well because it "goes there", that totally could be the actual, trauma-inducing consequences of a body swap. Freed from her own social prison and, probably, straight-up chemically-imbalanced mental state, she gets to step back and go "uh, wait, what the fuck was I doing?". They did it well, and they had a ton of fun with it too - I have ofc blown my "because it's wrong" gif usage already, but the mirror scene is also hilarious.

Also "he just wanted to be a big snake" lmao, Faith you gotta bring back the mayor solely for the family hijinks, do it.

Oz's fate is tragic, it is 100% because of silly, should-have-been-fixable contract disputes about requirements for set-time, and miscommunications between the various parties. Never heard their be any ill will, it was 100% "welcome to the business, shit happens". But yeah, he needed to leave, they didn't really have the prep time to write him off, they did what they could. Conceptually I do really like it, I think it is nice for him to realize that maybe being a werewolf isn't the "nap for one day a month" health condition he is making it out to be? And I think he is a really effective foil for Tara, he offers a very different relationship dynamic than her. Would have been great to explore it. Very funny you confused Oz and Spike in a sleepy fever dream ^^

On that thread, Xander going to Angel is honestly not a bad idea? And I like Xander. I think this season he got good material and he improves at it goes on - his role as the "everyman" is not as sexy but kinda raw. Still, while he has good arcs personally, his mechanical role in the plot is yeah totally shot, and the Angel setting could have revitalized him.

The Initiative is definitely one of those things where you kind of touch the "worldbuilding stove" - he military can't really know about Demons because then the whole "world behind the veil" thing falls apart. So they make the military out to be this insane science cult thing, because that will maybe make them showing up for one season and noping out make more sense? But obviously none of it makes sense. I think it hurt Riley's arc too, as he has no *real* military to relate to and care about, and so needs steroids arc instead.

Buffy is absolutely inconsistent on magic, but there is a thread throughout of "dark doesn't mean bad" with magic - dark is dangerous to the user, not evil. And this connects to the wider Wicca cultural movement - explicitly "anti-Christian" and so reclaiming dark gods as positive. I think in Season 4 this is holding together okay - in Season 6 the inconsistency is gonna be a real problem...

Okay, Angel thoughts now - I will just have a few here, as I am not as much of an Angel fan (I enjoyed it, but it makes some odd choices - as you say, it shoots the worldbuilding full of holes)

Angel-in-Angel may be far less menacing as our new wisecracking lead most of the time, but every once in a while he does throw down, it's pretty great

I also enjoyed Doyle, though agree we didn't need any love triangle stuff. I find myself *very* confused about Demon biology that he demon side did not "express" itself until he is 21? Face o' spines take some time to settle in? But yeah, it is weird how demon cultures just fly all over the place - some are totally chill, some will just kill you over an off-hand apparently-binding contract! That episode is one where the "formula" of a comedic battle-style ending got in the way imo.

Re: Demon-humanness, as they explain in Buffy around the mayor, you learn in Season 3 that all demons on earth are just like shades or hybrids, and a true demon manifesting is super powerful, etc. It is good lore! And also totally not what they had planned in Season 1 and not a rule they follow lol. Angel has to face this far more problematically - these demon societies they encounter just do not play by that rule. And honestly they could have done better, it was just sloppy.

Faith <3 <3 her arc in Angel is really good, and honestly it is a bit sad that it is *in* Angel because it is hard for someone watching Buffy today to jump over to those episodes mid-season. Classic "marketing getting in the way of the story" moment, but it still works really well. Angel hits his stride as the guy who "gets" darkness in a way that say Buffy never could, so he can function as the grey-morality side of the heroing.

Re: Romani slur, yeah the "time marched on" aspect here is just particularly harsh - it wasn't a slur in the year 2000! No one mainstream had even an inkling of that. And to be fair this is contentious today - people in Europe, including Romani, still use it heavily (though they debate it there too). But of course in the US this is settled, it is a slur, and Buffy+ was just a few years too late to the party.

I too really appreciate the focus on the finances in Angel - both slots into the Grey Morality thing and also, hey, this is Los Angeles. Rent ain't cheap. Allows them to do stories Buffy just isn't set up to do.

You should let me know your "net" opinion of Season 4, if you have one ofc, as I can see the ups and downs - curious how it all comes together! For me it is a messy season - the Initiative is weak, weird moments like Oz being written off don't work, multiple bad filler. But I like Willow/Tara - team Gay Wicca baby - Spike is hilarious, Anya/Xander is fun and kinda real, and one-offs like the Faith arc are some of the best in the show. You also like Adam! No one likes Adam! A huge boom for you in liking the season.

bbb s4 / aaa s1

just sending this in ask format is growing increasingly untenable.

I...have tried to organize this a little bit. The first draft was much worse.

I keep forgetting to mention how weird it is to regularly hear the attack SFX from Alpha Centauri (though it is slightly different in Angel, which is also weird). 

Xander should get more mileage out of his Halloween military experience. 

I really liked Adam a lot more than I expected to. 

Spike is great: still ““evil”” but unable to hurt anybody, is great.

Buffy Episode thoughts

Buffy 4x4 

“Creatures of the night shy away from Halloween. They find it all much too crass.” lmao. Halloween is a night of safety not because the monsters are scared but because they think that you’re cringe. 

“I tend to hear the actual words that people say and accept them at face value” I rarely have occasion to say this, but I’m proud of Xander. 

I like how Buffy nearly murders a guy because he’s wearing a costume. Was it a very realistic costume, or do demons really look like cheap Halloween costumes? 

Buffy 4x10 How dare Giles cheat on Joyce! 

What did the Gentlemen wear before suits? Did they invent suits? 

Revelation 15:1 doesn’t have anything to do with a plague of silence. And it’s Revelation, singular. 

Who wrote this? Joss? Fie on Joss. 

It’s pretty cool that they got a voiceover from Stephen Hawking. 

Probably Unpopular Opinion: Hush should have gone without a soundtrack, or at least less of one. 

Shorter episode thoughts in re Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy 4x3 "The gem of amara is like the vampire holy grail." Giles, buddy, vampires are Christian. Or, they were Christian in the 10th century when they were looking for the gem of amara, anyway (Spike definitely does not go to vampire church). I'm pretty sure that the holy grail is the vampire holy grail.

Willow’s crusader costume is cute. This reminds me of when I had a crush on — “I’m Joan of Arc!” Well then, no wonder. 

Buffy 4x7 “Buffy likes cheese.” Does she? I’m not certain I’ve ever seen her eat cheese, let alone express fondness for it. 

Buffy 4x8 Is there anything to say about the Thanksgiving episode that hasn’t been said before? It sure is something. Sucks that there are some incredible bits in here. 

Buffy 4x11 “I don’t see a scratch on you,” says guy who doesn’t have a scratch on him. Holy shit, Gravity Falls reference!? The Buffy writers were ahead of their time. (checks notes) By twelve years. 

The Giles & Spike team-up in 4x12 is fantastic, but they are really making the “Giles is her dad” subtext just plain text. Why is he not dating Joyce? They didn’t even try to date, because Joyce says that her last boyfriend was the robot! Joyce, why aren’t you dating the hot librarian that sings like a god, and fucks like a stevedore, and – incredibly important detail here – already loves Buffy as if she were his own daughter? They’re clearly physically compatible (which they, ahem, rather explicitly brought up again this season), they have overlapping interests, and he’s already aware of the Slayer thing, so there won’t be any awkward lies about Buffy’s extracurriculars or terrible revelations or whatever. 

4x15 It’s incredible how Faith gets therapy in the worst ways possible. Being able to step into Buffy’s literal shoes for a bit seems to have done some good for her – showed her that, like, it’s possible for normal people to actually love each other. 

4x21 Xander: “Does anybody else miss the mayor?” I do too, buddy. I do too. God, that video that he recorded for Faith... He just wanted to be a big snake, and the Scoobies murdered him for it.

4x22 Giles & Spike team-up: literally a dream. 

General thoughts re Angel the Untitled Spin-off 

Angel pushing a vampire out the window of a skyscraper in broad daylight: incredible. 

Do you think that Angel is still a Vampire Christian? I mean, the Master seemed to like him (pre-re-ensoulment) and he even seems to have a preference for Latin exorcisms instead of some witchy thing. 

I don’t like Doyle. If they needed a Xander on Angel then they should have sent Xander to LA. Never mind, he redeemed himself, in more ways that one. 

Poor Doyle. He just needs to meet a monsterfucker. Oh no, he was married to one already. I guess it’s true what they say, and it’s no use marrying somebody who would fuck you if you wouldn’t fuck yourself. 

The bachelor’s party episode was pretty good – especially with the revelation that Doyle’s marriage was ruined by his own insecurities – but I thought, when the fiance said that the ritual hadn’t been performed in years, that the demon-anthropologist lady was going to discover + explain that they were misinterpreting things, it was all symbolic, something like that. Or, since it’s noted that some of the fiance’s family aren’t terribly observant in other ways, that they’d be convinced to let things go. I guess the writers just really wanted a love triangle with Doyle and Cordelia. 

You know, there’s all this talk of evil from demons, down to when the Nazi demons say that tolerating “half-breed” demons is “as good as giving up the call to evil altogether” and “as good as becoming human ourselves.” Now, souls seem to be related to the conscience (Angel’s morality depends on whether he’s got a soul, the bad kid from 1x14 doesn’t have a soul) but it’s possible for demons to be decent people, so what’s going on here? It feels like “evil” is a label that demons use in rejection of whatever the soul confers, but also I’m fairly sure that the writers never sat down to work out a complex demonic philosophy of opposition or whatever, and this is just fannish epicycles. 

I hate this “Angel can get into any building in LA via the sewers” thing. We know that indirect sunlight is fine, so just give him an umbrella. 

<3 Faith. First time I've really really liked Angel, he's so good for this, I'm sad to hear through the grape vine that she's going to go away for a while.

Angel 4x3 Spike dropped the ball when he called Buffy "Slutty the Vampire Slayer" instead of "Slutty the Vampire Layer." Genuinely what the fuck, how did the writers miss that one? Was it for the alliteration? "Slutty" is a positively tortured replacement for "Buffy," Slutty the Vampire Slayer < Buffy the Vampire Layer, every time, if they had to pick just one then they picked wrong.

Angel 1x6 left me sort of mad that the sensitivity training was from a baddie. Some of it was decent! Nobody under his influence told a goddamn lie – that was brave, that was inappropriate for the situation, he is hiding behind humor, an act of kindness can be manly, etc. (What they did under his influence is another story) Well, alright, people said some untrue things in the last ten minutes. But before that, it was all good! Also police brutality probably went down a bit. This just tells me that we need, maybe, twenty-percent demon magic in our lives, and not the whole whammy. 

Angel 1x9 I don’t like how the fascist demons hate demons with human blood. In Graduation Day Pt 1 we learn that all the demons on Earth have at least a little human blood. I don’t think this is supposed to be a subtle mistake in their ideology because the episode is hardly subtle about these demons being fascists, and you’d think that one of the characters would ask, “How come these fascist demons, being partly descended from humans like all the other demons, don’t get melted by the Human-Melting Lantern that melts other demons? 

Angel 1x14 I am trying to not pick every nit I see, but when Angel and Wesley find out that the priest at the local church is dead… (1) how is there not another priest at this church, when he died six months ago; (2) why do they not go to one of several hundred other Catholic churches in Los Angeles; and (3) why do they not look for somebody who is not a Catholic priest? 

Angel 1x15 Kate, finding out that a dude is a demon: “Well I guess I can forget about reading him his rights” no you fucking cannot, that demon was probably born in this country. 

Angel 1x15 “although technically demons aren’t otherworldly, I mean in fact they were here first” #LandBack 

Angel 1x16 “Did you know that there are a dozen species [of demon] indigenous to LA County alone?” Indigenous! But for real, there actually are a legion of demons in LA. I assume that this is a consequence of the Hellmouth being a hundred miles away, but still, if the masquerade ever breaks then I expect demons to be a noteworthy minority that local politicians have to keep in mind. 

Angel 1x18 “We’re not in the business of giving up on people.” Cool. But earlier: “That’s not a person. It’s a demon.” :screaming: :screaming: :screaming: 

I really fucking hate prophecies. 

Cordelia

Some things about the Buffangelverse haven’t aged well, but Cordelia’s willingness to live in a haunted, deadly apartment because it’s rent-controlled has only gotten more relatable. 

It feels like Cordelia lost a little bit of character development. What possible reason does she have to say “Crybuffy” instead of “Crybaby”? I don’t think she did that kind of thing even in the original series. 

I appreciate her focus on finances. You would think that if The Powers That Be are going to keep sending Angel Investigations to save people who can’t pay to be saved, then they could at least occasionally give Doyle the winning lotto numbers or something. You can’t save people if you’re dead because you ran out of food, and two-thirds half two-thirds of the company still need to eat. 

Oz…

So, I fell asleep halfway through “Wild at Heart,” then woke up near the beginning of “The Initiative” without realizing that I’d slept more than a few minutes and I was in a whole new episode (the downside to being able to sleep anywhere is that…when you’re tired enough, you could sleep anywhere), and back when I was very young I caught part of an episode that (from what I could recall) involved Oz, werewolves, and a secret U.S. government agency, so I thought that Oz disappeared because the Initiative nabbed him (and…put a mind control chip in his head? my recollection from the long-ago time was vague) and all this talk of him “withdrawing from class” and “sending for his stuff” was a dirty Initiative lie. 

I mean, would Oz really ghost his gf like that? My Oz? Sweet, lovable, dependable Oz? 

Cue la surprise when that laconic motherfucker just shows up at the door from his adventures in fucking Tibet. 

It feels bad that the Oz/Will/Tara love triangle got resolved mostly because Oz just skipped out again. Will should have had the opportunity to dump his ass before he decided to skip out again, and Tara should have gotten the sure knowledge that she wasn’t just Will’s consolation prize. 

I read that Oz left the show because he wasn’t getting enough opportunities to Do Stuff. This is terrible. They really should have sent Xander to LA. I mean, I don’t hate Xander, but I certainly don’t like him as much as I liked Oz. At least let Xander get more mileage out of his Halloween military experience so that he can do something interesting. 

The Initiative

How is there an entire underground facility beneath Sunnydale? Why does it exclusively employ early twentysomethings for its muscle. 

I was sure we were going to find out that the Initiative lads were clones, maybe with fake memories and maybe just cover stories. They called Professor Walsh “mom,” describe each other as family, and except for the doctors they’re all kids very young adults, even the ones in leadership roles (except for the colonel who later comes in to supervise). 

What exactly is the organizational structure of the Initiative? Riley’s rank is “agent,” one of his subordinates is “private,” and Maggie Walsh is called ”mom” “professor.” I won’t pick at Xander’s mention of “Secret Forces,” because that’s clearly a minor mistake in the script, but overall it feels like the writers know as much about the military as they do about the price of tea in China. 

It just bugs me…

What is this shit about Willow Wicca and darkness? She talks about dark powers, about calling on the ruler of darkness, et cetera et cetera, as if she hasn’t spent three and a half years helping Buffy to fight against (to quote the intro voiceover from the first two seasons) the “forces of darkness.” You’d at least expect this to be a point of contention in an episode by this point. 

Also really bad how the First Slayer is accompanied by animal sounds. 

It’s really weird how, the first time we’re introduced to Angel’s curse, we’re told that he was cursed by the Romani – and then, every single time they came up again (even amongst themselves) the shows use the slur. I can understand “just using the slur” and I can understand “using the slur in a sort of, ‘you know, the g*****s,’ way and saying ‘Romani’ or ‘Roma’ or whatever afterward, now that the viewer knows what we’re talking about,” but it boggles my mind that they use “Romani” just once, the very first time, and have failed to use it again for five seasons. 

The worldbuilding in Buffy hasn’t been incredible, but Angel (the series) really introduced a lot of problems, most of them related to demons.