#We pay a lot of taxes but in return I get this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

madelynraemunson · 1 year ago

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CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪

(Book 1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen's Club)

(strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove! reader)

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ MINORS DNI

006: The Eddie Special

Rent is paid, food is on the table, and Max finally has a YMCA membership! All because of you. But just when you think you've got your two lives under control, Robin and Vicky show up to Hellfire for date night — and see you dancing center stage.

* = somewhat smut

** = smut

↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014**, 015, 016**, 017, 018, 019, 020*

word count: 5.2k words

warnings — eddie being an asshole again but also very sweet, mutual pining, angst, yearning, profanities, power imbalance, double standards, smoking, alcohol, sexual harassment, health issues/disparities, trauma, pedophilia, incest, name-calling

“A compromise would surely help the situation.”

♡

“Hey, stranger.”

Robin flashes you a “good morning” smile as you’re washing the dishes. Scooting to the side, you continue to scrub as she leans against the sink with her back, munching away at her breakfast sandwich that Vicky had prepped for her the night before.

“Morning,” you grin in return.

“Funny,” she says. “We live under the same roof now but our friendship still feels long distance.”

“Sorry… ” you frown. “Work’s just been a lot.”

So is living a double life. To shake off the guilt that constantly gnawed at you, you dry your hands and proceed to make yourself some coffee. When you scan the fridge, the only creamer you can get your hands on is...

Hazelnut. Just your luck.

There’s a tinge in your chest as you dunk it into your mug. You stir aggressively. Robin notices how tense you are and walks over to you.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, my guy,” she says as she pats you on the back. “Healthcare is tough. I dated a travel nurse once and that poor woman had back problems for days.”

“Such a physically and emotionally taxing job,” Vicky adds as she emerges from their room. “I don’t know how you do it, Hargrove.”

“Good morning, baby.”

“Good morning, sweetheart.”

Smooch.

You chuckle to yourself as you sip your Eddie-coded coffee.

“Yeah. I don't know how I do it either…”

The wooden stairs creek and crack as a pair of Vans stomp against them. Max is awake. This morning is an exciting one. After many, many overtime shifts at Hellfire, you've accumulated enough tip money to pay for Max's membership for 12 months. On top of that, rent had already been paid so you had a hefty cushion leftover for leisurely expenses.

You can hardly contain yourself. Seeing the surprised look on your sister's face is sure to be the highlight of your morning.

Max stares at you in shock when she sees you in the kitchen.

“Whoa,” she says. “She’s awake.”

You only ever see Max in passing when she comes home from the skate park. And that's right when you leave for work. From what she tells you she hasn't made many friends, but her main priorities right now are her hobbies and preparing herself for college classes in the Fall. Sometimes Max will tag along with Robin and Vicky to run errands, but you can tell she misses spending time with, and seeing, her sister.

“Shocker, right?” you sigh. “Thought I'd catch you before you head out.”

With your hands behind your back, you stride over to Max to give her her well-earned gift.

“What’s this?” she wonders.

“Your ticket to the Y,” you explain. “A band and a quarter, should last you a year.”

"Whoa!" Vicky exclaims.

"Holy shit! Look at that!" Robin cheers.

Max's eyes widen as she takes the money from you. “ $1200?! What bank did you have to rob to get $1200?”

“No bank,” you shake your head as Max counts all of the Benjamins. “Just the pockets of old, retired folk.”

You grin from ear to ear as you watch Max get bombarded with hugs that she is reluctant to accept, but does regardless. Vicky and Robin hoot and holler and squeal and cheer, reaffirming to Max that she deserves it the most.

“You’re really giving the elderly a run for their money,” Max says as the celebration comes to an end.

You watch in amusement as Vicky and Robin take turns counting Max's money.

“Yeah well it’s the least they can do for me,” you sigh. “My body feels like it’s aged 10 years.”

Max excuses herself from your roommates and throws herself onto you this time. You do your best not to cry. You've really missed her hugs.

“Thank you,” she says. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

Seeing how happy your sister is makes all your struggles worth it. Anything for Maxine.

———— 🔥 ————

“I don’t know who you think I am, but I don’t really give a damn right now.”

The past couple of weeks at Hellfire have been nothing short of awkward.

Eddie only really comes to you when he needs something, which — now that you've taken off those rose-tinted glasses — pretty much fits the bill of who he is as a person.

But he still lingers. For example, when you and Chrissy go on breaks together, there is always something for Eddie to do in close proximity. Table needs wiping? Eddie is there. Aisle needs sweeping? Mike, go help in the back. When you're dancing on customers, Eddie comes out from doing paperwork in his den to greet the regulars. And whenever you would turn to look at what Eddie’s doing, his gaze is already fixed on you and what you’re doing.

Like cat and mouse. But of course, he does it with all his dancers. Right?

A part of you wants to confront Eddie and his behavior, but before you even can he's out the back door to go on a "smoke break" with Argyle after closing, which usually is a short jump to him leaving. So you try to act unbothered by it by staying just a while longer with Henry… just in case he does come back.

But Henry puts you to work when you stay. He typically has you make sure all doors are locked, all chairs are stacked, and that any stray garbage is thrown away. You two play music while you work alongside one another, talking shit about customers and about how every day is starting to look the same.

You’re aware of how you openly contradict yourself, saying the days all bleed into one another and how you miss your bed. Yet you’re still at Hellfire. Way past closing time. Henry for sure has caught on to your odd behavior, but he doesn’t seem to mind because he enjoys your company.

It’s like clockwork now, this ritual-slash-routine.

Today is different for some reason.

"Hey!" Eddie calls out. “Shy Girl!”

You’re alone eating in an isolated part of VECNA’S LAIR when Boss Man makes his way over to you.

You’re frozen in your spot as he approaches you…willingly. Although you could care a lot less about his presence, the gesture still causes you to sit up a little straighter and blot-dry any remnants of your food with your napkin.

Eddie sets down new laminated prints of his menu in front of you. Plop.

"New item on the menu,” he gloats, very amused with himself. “Waffle fries. What do you think?"

Annoyed, you huff.

"Sure."

Two weeks of barely uttering a sentence to one another. Two weeks of avoiding eye contact and possibly one ‘excuse me’. Two weeks of being a background character in Eddie’s life and his icy shoulder making sure you knew it.

Now you’re more than an extra today. Because today Eddie decides you’re something of value, and that just for today your input actually matters. It's pathetic. It all makes Steve and Nancy look like best friends.

Your eyes travel to his firm hands. His silver rings. You hate to admit that you miss how they felt against your skin, especially since your skin seemingly isn't the only one he grazes. I do this with all my dancers. Your hands ball into fists. How can someone be so okay with using someone the way Eddie did with you?

"So we'll do regular waffle fries and the crinkle cuts will be our sweet potato fries from now on,” he explains.

“Mhm.”

“And eventually,” Eddie booms dramatically. “We’ll introduce the concept of different types of fries. Cajun fries, cheese fries, chili cheese fries. Then we'll introduce new cuts like curly fries... wedges..."

Not a word from you.

"Then we’ll do animal style fries like how you Californians do it at In-N-Out. I’ll call it ‘The Eddie Special’. It’ll be amazing!”

"You call the shots, Eddie."

Like he always does.

Eddie finally gets the message. You watch as his shoulders droop as he surrenders.

"Are you okay?" he dares to ask perplexedly.

"Never better!" you exclaim.

You grab your finished meal and dart past him, not even bothering to pardon yourself when your shoulders brush his slightly. You hear Eddie exhale, super displeased as the taps he makes on the table with his fingers render themselves fast and impatient.

“You don’t wanna stay and chat?” your superior demands sharply.

“I have to clock back in,” you answer coldly. “Sorry.”

“K then,” Eddie quietly mutters, returning the energy.

You try to look busy, so you pull out your phone and pretend to check something. Luckily, a text message from Robin pops up for you to reply to.

ROBIN BUCKLEY ☀️🤍

Date night with Vicky tonight. Breakfast/lunch/dinner waiting for you in the fridge when you get home 😁

You smile.

You da bestest 🩷 thank u

Buzz.

ROBIN BUCKLEY ☀️🤍 loved “You da bestest 🩷 thank u”

“Hey, Hargrove?” Eddie calls out to you.

His voice sounds a lot softer and apologetic. With the optimism that your tactic worked, you spin around to face Eddie with eager eyes. Maybe today is the day things go back to normal again.

“Hm?”

“No going on your phone when you’re clocked in, k?”

A blow to the chest. Bitter and agitated, you shove your phone into the back pocket of your booty shorts. Yes sir, you mutter to yourself mentally.

After thanking you, Eddie struts to the kitchen, using his own phone to pull up Dio on Spotify. He and Argyle like to head-bang and fuck around in the kitchen when they’re together. Messing around is only okay if Eddie does it, you assume.

To make matters worse, Eddie then proceeds to use his stupid phone to send someone a text. You scoff at the irony. Fucking prick.

Another trigger of yours? Power imbalance and double standards.

Attempting to be drama-free, you ironically make your way over to Steve and Jonathan, who are posted up at POTIONS.

“Hey Shy Girl,” Jonathan nods.

"Hey Johnny," you greet him.

You turn to the literal love of your life.

“Sup, Steve.”

"Hey, Hargrove," Steve nods. "How'd you do on tips last night?"

"Stellar," you answer. "Fucking love Fridays."

You and Steve are still casually hooking up. But just as you predicted, things aren’t quite the same. The problem this week is that Steve is struggling to finish, and you start to feel discouraged and insecure when he softens up inside of you.

Steve always used to finish. Now when you look up at him his gaze is fixed on something else, his strokes are less enthusiastic, and he mistaked one of your kinks for someone else’s once. But you pretend not to notice. A part of you even feels like you deserve it.

Steve is struggling with the eye contact today. You kick at the floor, trying to find a way to make your presence relevant in this corner of Hellfire. Knowing very well what you’re doing, Steve holds up a French fry from his red picnic tray as a supportive gesture.

"Would you like some?"

You beam at him and open your mouth so he can feed you. Steve obliges.

“Thanks boo,” you say to him as you chew.

He blushes. “Welcome.”

“You guys are cute,” Jonathan smiles as he wipes his hands with a hand towel. “I gotta run to the restroom, you mind watching the bar for a bit, Hargrove?”

“Not at all,” you oblige. “I’ll be here. Eating Steve’s fries.”

“Great,” Jonathan says, excusing himself. Then he halts. “Oh! If you open the register, Eddie has something for you underneath. Code is 0-1-1.”

Eddie has something…for you?

You turn to Steve and he just shrugs. As if it weren’t already obvious, you and Eddie weren’t exactly on friendly terms. What could that man possibly have for you?

It’s a termination notice, you can feel it. Bracing yourself for the absolute worst, you punch the code in.

0 - 1 - 1.

CHA-CHING! The register pops open. You lift the till that housed the cash and coins to unveil a pile of cash joined together by a small paper clip. There is a tiny note that was written onto a ripped piece of paper.

You pick it up. This couldn’t be for you, you think. But the sloppy handwriting with a partially bleeding pen says otherwise.

‘Hargrove: $600 — YMCA MONEY’

----- ❤️‍🩹 -----

“She the devil, she a bad lil bitch, she a rebel.”

Tonight you’re doing private dances with customers and also doing tip rail. But you wish you were just doing tip rail 'cause tonight’s clients were ballsy.

One patron said you look like his daughter. But it’s okay because ‘she’s married and out of the house’. Another said you look like one of his students. But it's totally okay because he teaches at the community college, therefore almost every pupil there is ‘at least 18’. It still doesn’t make it any better. All you could think about is your 18 year old baby sister — someone’s daughter and someone’s someone — someone who will also be walking the halls of Hawkins Community College later this month.

This customer, however, takes the cake. After guiding his hand away multiple times during the lap dance, he always manages to find the straps of your bra again. Upon strike three, you lose all patience.

“Yo, can you not do that?” you hiss, your inner Cali dude coming out to play. “I moved your hand away many times.”

The man is almost appalled. “It’s a strip club, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I strip on my terms.”

"I paid for your services," he spat. "So I'm sure I get to do what I want, hoe."

“Don’t call me that!”

“I'll call you what I want,” the customer insists. “It’s what you are anyways if you’re in this job right?”

He takes out another dollar and tucks it into one of your cups. You could only stare in shock. The audacity of this guy.

“Here,” he says degradingly. “Looks like you really need it. Now let me see those tits. Please.”

Anger consumes you. Whatever amount of the Neutral Wolf you had left in you has now melted away. The Big Bad Wolf is taking over now. You give the man a shove, hoisting yourself off his disgusting body.

"What the FUCK is your deal, bruh?" you bark, a piece of Billy coming out of you more than you intended. "You want a piece of me that badly, don't you?"

Your words cause a scene in the surrounding area. Not even phased by it, the patron decides to push you further.

“Easy, easy,” he rolls his eyes. “If it’s that much of an issue I’ll just take my money back.”

He yanks the dollar back from out of your bra. His knuckles just grazed your tits.

“What kinda strip club is this anyways? Theme is janky as fuck. The STRIPPERS don’t even strip. They’re RUDE, and they’re butt ugly. The owner should be ashamed. Oh and by the looks of it, you don’t have much tits to work with after all.”

“Pull up your shirt,” you quip. “I think I found ‘em.”

This poor man. He didn't know you're a Hargrove.

And soon you’re throwing shit. His money. Your shoes. Every curse word in the dictionary, both traditional and urban with the exception of a few. You’re seeing all red now, and you’re pretty sure if no one stopped you, you’d have ripped the guy’s head off.

“If I don’t have tits, why you trying to get at me?” you roar. “You like little boys or something, bitch?!”

“HENRY!” Eddie shouts.

You turn in the direction of Eddie’s voice. He had been watching. Through your furious, free-falling tears, you can see in his dark eyes, closed fists, and flared nostrils that he is angry as well.

“On it, boss!” Henry shouts as he scampers on over. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, asshole?”

The friendly bouncer swoops you off to the side and asserts himself between you both. Lucky for the guy, no dislocated limbs were in the cards today. All it took was another person with a penis to get this fool to back down. He tries to reason with Henry but it’s far too late. Henry’s already pushing him towards the door.

“I’ll be coming BACK to have my way with you,” the beast growls and spits. “Fucking SKANK!”

“I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO, MOTHERFUCKER!” you challenge him. "I'll be right here waiting!”

A calloused hand lands on your lower back. Thinking it’s another customer, you turn aggressively, fist winded up. As quickly as you lunge, a large palm catches it mid-air.

It’s Eddie.

Worry washes over your boss’s face when you two lock eyes for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity. He looks at you with the utmost concern. You almost see a tear glistening in his eye. A portion of his hair falls over his face in attempts to conceal it.

"Are you okay?" Eddie asks again, genuinely.

You nod, gulping.

You aren't okay, that's the thing. Not when Eddie looks like that. And not when he's looking at you, like that. Suddenly, Hellfire melts away and you're back in his van, fighting back every urge to fall into him and his musky, pine aroma infused with nicotine, weed, and beer. Just like home. Eddie feels like home.

Papers beat rock. Slowly, Eddie lowers your fist with the palm he had draped over you. The pulsing music and blinding strobe lights trickle back into your system.

"It's okay if you aren't..." Eddie starts. “You know... alright.”

"Eddie," you stop him. "Please. I'm alright."

“That was a lot.”

“But it's nothing new to me.”

He studies you. Doesn’t speak for a while.

“It's true!” you insist, attempting to diffuse Eddie's concern. “It kinda reminded me of the frat parties in San Diego I used to go to. You know what I’m saying?”

You try to laugh. But Eddie doesn’t. Henry and some dancers come to check up on you, especially Chrissy, to ask if you're okay. They even try to start a petition to jump the guy. You repeat the very thing you've been saying since it happened — yes, you are okay — and thank them for their concern. Then it's back to you and Eddie the moment they all disperse.

"Want a break?" he offers.

You shake your head. Dancing it off would help more, actually. And besides, if his offer is just another attempt to get you alone in his car and fire you up only to extinguish it all again in one sitting, you'll pass.

"Wanna go on stage now then? Get a break from individual dances?"

You smile and nod. "I'd love that."

The night can only get better from here. Eddie offers you his hand and helps to hoist you onto the stage. The DJ announces your name, and you’re back in business, putting on your million dollar smile and batting your seductive, little lashes.

Your song comes on and you start to shake your ass. Lost in the trance of the song, you become one with the pole, climbing it and gliding along it, twirling from it, and hovering with it, twerking and spreading your legs whenever you saw fit. The audience revels in it.

It all feels so good. Yes you are being provocative, everybody and your brother's worst nightmare -- but you're the one in control. No one can ever take your body autonomy away from you. Never again. Not anymore.

You do a death drop to the floor and quickly ease into your splits. The crowd goes wild as you roll your hips to the song, allowing yourself to get showered by the dollar bills that were raining down on you like a storm.

To thank everyone for their overwhelming support, you spin yourself around to face the crowd. But your heart nearly stops.

“Oh my god,” you gasp aloud.

Nothing could ever prepare you for what... or who rather... you see in front of you.

“Oh…my god,” Robin repeats, face sheet-white like a ghost.

Vicky is right beside her with the same shock on her face. Of course, your roommates have acknowledged this place before, so it wouldn't be a surprise that they eventually made this place their date night.

Your mind short-fuses and all you can do is crawl away backwards. Luckily, no one in the crowd seems to suspect how thrown off you just became. Your body quickly calls on another dancer as your mind races. And soon Emmy is taking your spot at the tip rail.

You look over at Eddie, who was in the corner leaning against the wall, but now he is standing upright and confused. Throwing on your cloak, you thank everyone for coming out and run out to the back alley.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit," you mutter to yourself, as your heels click against the cold floor. Your cover is blown. What do you do now? "That's what you get for working local, Hargrove."

You find an area in the alley to rest and hit your dab pen ferociously. As you pace back and forth, you start to develop your exit plan. Nothing new, you develop these plans all the time.

Eventually Robin and Vicky find you. Clumsily spilling out the back door comes Thing 1 and Thing 2, assessing your body language and emotional well-being before finding the right words to say. It’s uncomfortable for everybody.

“Well this is quite the nursing home,” Robin remarks.

“Babe!”

“What?!” Robin exclaims. “I’m trying to lighten the mood.”

“Yeah but that can kinda come off as witty and sarcastic.”

“Well I don’t mean for it to.”

“Just because you don’t mean for it to, doesn’t mean it won’t come across that way.”

“Well knowing Hargrove I would hope she knows it’s not meant to come across that way.”

“GUYS!” your overstimulated self shouts.

All is quiet on midwestern front. Vicky and Robin switch between looking at you and back down at the ground while you resume your stress-filled nic break.

Finally, you speak after exhaling.

“So how’s everyone’s niiight?”

Robin gets straight to the point. “Why didn’t you tell us you work here?”

“I was protecting Max.”

“From what?” Robin wonders. “Ass and boobies? Extensions and falsies and freakishly high, high heels?”

“Doesn’t sound like nightmare fuel to us,” Vicky shrugs.

“It is when you consider the women Billy’s brought home.”

“What does Billy have to do with any of this?” asks Vicky.

“A lot, actually,” you answer.

You shove your pen back into your cloak pocket.

“Look,” you say. “I really needed the money. And I needed it fast. With my server and dancing background, I figured being a stripper was the best way to make it. And I was right. It’s quick money, but it’s sure as hell not easy. It’s draining for the most part, but—”

You stomp at the ground in frustration.

“My sister is fed and she can go to the Y and go to school and she’s away from Billy anditsallthatI’veeverwantedokay? That’s why I did it.”

“Okay, but I don’t see the point in coming up with this elaborate story that you work nights at a nursing home,” Vicky squints in thought. “Come on Hargrove, we are the least judgmental house in the boonies. I mean look at us.”

“Art Hoe Lesbians in a red state,” Robin points out. “I’m sure exotic dancer is a very mild offense.”

They did have a point. And it's not like Max is the type to slut-shame either. But you wanted Max to live as normal of a life as possible. Having a stripper sister also didn’t seem like the best conversation starter in Hawkins.

"I guess I'm just used to living a lie," you admit exhaustedly. "And running away... I also know Max would be worried sick for me."

"You only live lies if you tell 'em," Robin points out. "But as long as you're here with us, you're free to be your true and authentic self."

"Your job right now is to provide," Vicky adds. "And you're doing a wonderful job."

You beam. "Yeah?"

They both nod, yes. Sometimes you forgot what a support system is like. It always used to be everyone for themselves.

"Thanks guys."

"You're welcome," Vicky grins. "For now we'll keep our lips locked. We did not see anything."

"But you are going to have to tell Max eventually," Robin scorns.

"I know," you sigh. "I appreciate the stall."

The three of you hug. That's another thing you've been needing these past few weeks. A warm, authentic hug.

"Nice ass by the way," Robin compliments you.

"And tits," Vicky adds.

"Thanks."

———- ❤️ ———-

“I’ll kindly take you up on that Eddie Special, please,” you mumble.

Eddie had last-called everyone 15 minutes ago, but deep down you hope he had enough room in his heart for you. It’s been a dumpster fire of a shift.

Sure enough Eddie caves, judging by the way he starts up the fryer again after having shut it down right before you got to him.

He grins warmly. “Coming right up.”

As the fryer starts to bubble, Eddie loads in the last of the crinkle cuts. He waits close by with crossed arms.

Eddie’s first to break the silence.

“You seemed to know those customers,” he comments, referring to Vicky and Robin. “Judging by how fast you ran from them. In pumps too.”

“They’re my roommates,” you reply. “My best friend and her partner. They didn’t know I work here.”

He raises the eyebrow at ‘best friend’. “Even they didn’t know you work here?”

“I don’t know what they’d do with this information,” you utter defensively. “I guess it’s just hard for me to trust people.”

“Is it really, Miss Flight Risk?”

He’s referring to moving in with a girl you met online. You shoot him a look. The “I-didn’t-really-have-any-other-choice” look. He quickly digresses.

“I’m kidding,” he surrenders. “Okay? I understand that there are some things you gotta keep secret.” Eddie wriggles the basket full of fries around in the fryer. “…Even from your loved ones.”

Something tells you he speaks from experience. You shrug it off, ensuring he’d elaborate if he wanted to eventually.

Meanwhile you just decide to hit him with some small talk.

"How’s Chef Lucas been doing back here?"

"Fine and dandy," Eddie breathes. "For the most part. He burnt some things a couple of days ago, but that's part of being an apprentice, right?"

"Totally,” you nod. “Mistakes are bound to happen."

"Ohhh yeah," Eddie mutters, almost to himself. "Lots and lots…of mistakes."

"Trial and error, if you will,” you pitch in.

"Yup,” he draws on. “Seeing what works and what doesn’t. Testing the waters..."

Your eyes meet again. Briefly at least.

Eddie struggles to hold his gaze and instead resorts to clumsily playing around with a cloth nearby while whistling a tune. You can feel it getting awkward again so you find a way to keep the conversation going.

“Thank you for being there,” you attempt. “And helping out with my sister’s membership. You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to,” Eddie insists. His back is towards you so you can't read his expression. “You’ve been working very hard.”

“That’s why you don’t have to,” you say as-a-matter-of-factly. “It’s already paid off.”

Eddie chuckles. “Okay, then use it to buy yourself something nice. You deserve it.”

A hoot sounds from the opposite end of the hall. It’s Henry making his way over with some keys.

“Alright Babyboy, I’m out,” he announces. “I can lock up if you’d like? Not like I have anything to do.”

“I can take it from here,” Eddie insists. “Sweet dreams, Mr. Creel.”

Henry makes his way over, narrowing his eyes.

“Thought you normally go see Wayne after this.”

“I do,” Eddie replies. “But he had company earlier and I’m sure he already put himself to bed by now. I’ll stop by for breakfast.”

Henry’s eyes shift between you and Eddie. There’s a small smirk but he tries to conceal it. You’re staying late again, huh?

“Your words not mine,” Henry says. “Goodnight you two.”

You both bid Henry goodbye and he sees himself out. Eddie proceeds his periodic check-ins with your taters.

"You've uh, been appointing Henry a lot," you point out.

"Hell yeah, like clockwork," Eddie shrugs. "This industry is predator central. Just hate when dickheads think they can disrespect my girls. I don’t play that way.”

My girls.

“Not his first time doing shit like that,” Eddie adds, referring to the customer. “I regret giving him another chance. I should just get Henry or Jim to print a picture of his face and plaster it all over the walls. DON'T LET THIS ASSHOLE IN.”

You laugh. Eddie laughs at your laugh and then goes to melt the cheese for your dish.

“Yeah,” you say. “You give a man another chance and all he does disappoint you.”

Eddie sighs and nods timidly. “Yeah… Men ain’t shit huh?”

It falls silent for a bit. Eddie slowly stirs the melted cheese concoction he had going on in his pot while eyeing the time. You fiddle around with your cloak out of habit. Eddie speaks first again.

“You know what Shy Girl, I’m gonna do it,” he says. “Gonna broadcast his face and I’ll have you sign off on it.”

“Really?” you say.

“Of course,” Eddie shrugs. “You know how I am. I don’t play when it comes to you.”

The rasp in his voice sounds like melted butter. For a fraction of a second, you start to wonder what you were even mad about earlier.

You really missed talking and bantering with Eddie. Aside from whatever the hell was going on between you both, his companionship was not something you felt was fake.

Eddie begins mixing some sauces, and when he's done he hands you what you assume is your tips that you forgot to collect. You know, when you bolted off the stage.

"Already tipped everyone else out," he explains. "Rest is yours to keep."

You thank him and count all your bills. Now you have $600 of reallocated YMCA money and tips from tonight to pay off your bills and splurge.

You haven't had this much money since your waitressing job. You are forever grateful.

“Is there...anything I owe you Eddie?” you question. “Like at all? You’ve done a lot for me lately.”

“Ehhh you’re in the clear, I guess,” Eddie sheepishly smirks. “Lucky for you I’m a sucker for flattery.”

The fries are now cooked to a golden crisp and Eddie adds the components needed for The Eddie Special. He spends a decent amount of time to perfect the presentation before sitting down in front of you. In true Eddie fashion, he takes a bite of his own creation.

"HOT," he comments, trying to blow on the fry that's already in his mouth. "Hot, hot, hot. Fresh out the fryer."

Judging by his face, however, he approves. You can’t help but giggle over and over again. He gestures for you to try some.

It’s love at first bite.

"Mhm," you coo. "Thank you, Eddie."

"You're welcome," Eddie says. He grabs a washcloth to clean up the area. “Now… when you’re finished, how about I treat you to a real dinner?”

-------

author’s note: school has been taking over my life but i’m so glad i got to crank out this chapter for you guys 🖤 i’m excited to see how y’all are gonna react to shy girl’s orientation dinner…. 👀

tag list: @changemunson , @the-fairy-anon , @ali-r3n , @corrodedcoffincumslut , @bebe07011 , @mmunson86 , @eddiesguitarskills , @chelebelletx , @imonhereforareasonsadly , @eddies-trailer-babe @hideoutside , @motherfckerrr , @jxpsi , @munson-magic , @lindseyj23 , @sidthedollface2 , @manda-panda-monium , @elvendria , @micheledawn1975 , @hereforshmut , @siriuslysmoking , @nymphetkoo , @m-chmcl-rmnc , @holabeans00

#Spotify #eddie munson #joseph quinn #stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #joe quinn #stranger things 5 #Eddie #Eddie x reader #reader x Eddie #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #hellfire club

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seat-safety-switch · 9 months ago

Text

"I hear there's a whole crew of eager young faces out there just ready to ride the rapids!" hollers our rafting guide, a man who I would later discover from the TV news was actually named Ralph. This man continued to give us a short-form version of his life story, before instructing us on the proper way to wear a life vest (or "personal flotation device," if you're German.) The tourists around me oohed and aahed and snapped pictures, enough to be already halfway through what, in a simpler time, would have been a roll of Kodak film.

Why was I engaging in this pursuit, one which was not just dangerous but without the involvement of any motorized transportation whatsoever? Simple. I had gotten a free ticket from a coworker who "couldn't make it," and I had heard that there were some old hoopties crashed in the forests around the white-water rapids.

See, way back in the era when old cars were new cars, there was no good way to recycle them. Tow truck technology was in its infancy. Junkyards were just called "yards." And China hadn't been invented yet. Or it had, but they were probably also busy building their own new cars and didn't want to take some idiot's old Ford Business Coupe off his hands. So folks just left that shit on the side of roads, in forests, or pushed them off a cliff and watched what happened before driving off in their new car. Tragic, I know, but it means that lots of perfectly good running gear is all over this part of the country.

Ralph led us out on the water. He was pretty good, except for the part where he kept yelling at me to perform manual labour for which I was receiving no compensation. After a couple hours into the trip, I had seen no cars whatsoever and was beginning to lose hope entirely. I was damned to be stuck on this orange pool toy as we shot down the water in order to be rewarded with yet more water. Thrilling though it may be to some people, I was perfectly familiar with going dangerously fast and getting uncomfortably wet from any daily commute in my harem of rusty cars.

That's when I saw it. Anyone else would have easily missed a glimpse of the fender of a 1929 Chevy International roadster. I pulled my backpack off, discarding my oar to do so, and retrieved my homemade grappling hook from within. With a quick burst of compressed air and a not-so-quick burst of nitromethane-fuelled Sanden air-conditioning compressor exhaust, I was flown from the piteous grasp of Mother Kinda-Wet to the warm embrace of Mother Earth. And boy, did she ever have that fender. Not much else, of course, but if you squinted, you could kinda see part of the headlight was now being adopted by the accumulated moss.

After guessing the vague location of it, I dug in and left with my quarry: one extremely rusty, pig-iron "Oakland" vee-eight engine. It was really light, because almost none of it was left, which is good because I had a long way to walk home. A chipmunk kept me company along the way, probably because he used to live in #3 before I picked up his whole sub-development.

As for the other occupants of the river rafting tour, I'm told that at least half of them, perhaps deluded by hours of direct sunlight and lack of access to proper nutrition, believed my sudden escape was actually proof of my having been abducted by angels. I rolled that into a few other paying gigs upon my return to civilization, but it didn't really do much for the fleet. Tax-exempt crooked megachurches have very strict rules about only buying new cars.

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drdemonprince · 16 days ago

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Would it make more sense to contribute money to my employers 401k to max out the match contribution or to instead just contribute a small amount and use the rest to pay off high interest debt or building an emergency savings (I have like 1.5 months worth of expenses saved and… $30k of credit card debt….). I was unemployed for a long time but now have a stable salaried job where I make enough to cover my expenses (credit card minimums, loans, groceries, rent, etc) and have a little left over that I divvy up between small treats (a movie ticket, a nice pastry, thrifted clothes), donation posts, and like an extra $50 credit card payment and I’m not fully sure the optimal way to use that small amount of money. I do need a small treat from time to time to not lose it (and socializing often costs money even if it’s a cheap activity) but maybe it’s better saving on getting a $10 movie ticket each month to potentially pay off my debt like a month faster a couple years from now? how do I create financial security without feeling like I’m putting my life on a depressing pause for a debt free future that won’t happen for a couple years (assuming I make the same money and don’t incur additional expenses)?

Yeah, you've hit on a really important piece here, which is motivation and long-term resolve. The Mr Money Mustaches of the world talk up the importance of stoicism and shit and preach reducing living expenses, but it's equally important to keep in mind what actively gives you enough hope, pleasure, and reinforcement to keep you going.

Cutting back on expensive nights out is one thing; removing all joy and socialization from your life and therefore nerfing your long-term ability to remain employed and earning is another matter entirely. Enjoy those movie nights out. Supplement with having friends over to stream something on your laptop and eat snacks, free museum days, you know, do lots of cheap shit in addition to the little treats, but dont deny yourself the treats. those arent extravagances, that's being ALIVE! and the only reason we aspire toward financial independence is so that we can live life as we wish to, rather than being owned by an employer.

Employer matches are pretty much a guaranteed double on your money, which is better than even paying off a loan in terms of earning potential. so I'd recommend socking away that 5% from your paycheck automatically, so that you never even have to think about it, and then budgeting any remaining expendable income on knocking out that credit card debt.

30k is enough to really hurt, especially with interest over time, but not so great that knocking it out is impossible. you can do this! make sure in particular to focus any unexpected income on paying down that debt. birthday money, tax returns, perhaps filling out some class action forms online, any little bit helps -- you may want to check out the Snowball Debt Repayment method, in particular, as a lot of people find it more motivating to have a few shorter-term goals. (Basically, if you have multiple credit card debts, focus on paying off the smallest one first, so you'll get the rush of having vanquished at least one beast).

Good luck!!

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posttexasstressdisorder · 7 months ago

Text

GOP has gone rancid—and it isn't fair decent people have to keep cleaning up after them

D. Earl Stephens

April 23, 2024 5:27AM ET

People await the arrival of former U.S. President Donald Trump at a rally for Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) at the Miami-Dade Country Fair and Exposition on November 6, 2022 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

This article was paid for by Raw Story subscribers. Not a subscriber? Try us and go ad-free for $1. Prefer to give a one-time tip? Click here.

I’ve heard more than enough from people identifying as Republicans to last for whatever is left of my life.

By words and actions, Republicans have proven they are not serious people, and most definitely do not love or care for our country. We have learned without any doubt during the past decade that there is no line they won’t cross, rule they won’t break, or lie they won’t tell to further their dirty causes, which have absolutely nothing to do with making America great.

They are incapable of good governance, and have settled into mob rule. The Republican-led House of Representatives is a complete and nasty joke, where members literally elbow and hiss at each other, and that is both true and terribly, terribly sad.

With help from our inept Justice Department and a bought-off Conservative Supreme Court, Republicans are making a mockery of the notion that our nation is protected by the rule of law. They know better than anybody, that this simply is not true.

They have exploited a system they have learned to eagerly spit on by refusing to allow nominations for Supreme Court Justices in some cases, while rocketing other Conservative nominees through the Senate in record time.

READ: Breaking our democracy is all part of the GOP plan

They call violent terrorists who attack our country hostages, and expect the press to keep swallowing it whole, because that’s what they do.

Cheating and underhandedness is in their DNA.

They are long past the point of no return, and will either pay for their felonious behavior, or will somehow be rewarded for it at the polls this November, in which case we are done with our Democratic experiment after 248 years.

It is now up to Democrats to once again save this nation from the sick arsonists eagerly trying to burn it to the ground, and that is helluva lot to ask, and isn’t remotely fair.

Here’s a damn truth we don’t hear near enough about: If the Democratic candidate for president was facing 91 felony counts, had been convicted of fraud, was a serial abuser of women, told a documented 30,573 lies in four years, spread a big, toxic lie about an election he lost, and praised dictators, the party and the people who support it, would drop him/her like a rock.

He or she wouldn’t stand a chance. They’d be banished to the nearest dumpster. No decent person would want to be associated with such obvious scum.

The people who vote on the Left and the Right in this country are not remotely the same, and I am way past sick and tired of hearing that they are.

Something as despicable and odious as Donald J. Trump could NEVER happen in the Democratic Party. We simply would not allow it.

That right there is an ironclad fact.

Democrats and left-leaning people are not perfect, because no person is, but we still believe in truth, decency and manners. ALL children are important in our world, which is why we believe feeding them and getting them the healthcare and the childcare they need is vital, and far more important than paying the taxes of filthy-rich, bloated billionaires. We still believe that how the United States projects itself to rest of the world and our children means something.

We love our country, warts and all.

We still believe that when we’ve made mistakes, or said stupid, hurtful things we should apologize for them, not recklessly double down like ill-bred maniacs.

We have not, and will not, surrender to the lowest form of life like Trump. It is simply not in us.

As of this writing, I am officially DONE listening to the unmitigated gall that “both sides do it” or “both parties are the same” because that’s a complete load of bullshit. It is brutally insulting to the tens of millions of people in this country who play by the rules, believe all people are created equal, and still know a damn lie, or attack on our country when they hear it and see it.

The people who populate the Left and Right in our country are wired differently, and it’s time this was said out loud, and repeatedly. It is also long past time our media reported this. Especially because they know it to be true.

In the newsrooms where I used to work, if something so obviously bad and as evil as Trump and his enablers had burst on the scene, we would have been sounding alarms and reporting on it 24/7. The man means us and our country harm. We know this because he is SHOWING US AND TELLING US THIS.

There is seldom a day that goes by without him saying or doing something revolting and egregious. The media doesn’t even bother asking his Republican followers in Congress to account for his larceny anymore. They just accept it as somehow normal when it most certainly is not and never can be.

There are two sides to the story that should be told in America right now. One is called, good, the other is called, evil.

The only reason our national press does not report on this legitimately and accurately is simply because they are pathetic cowards, plain and simple. They know they are failing, but are carrying on despicably, anyway.

I’ll always have ammo to burn addressing their egregious behavior these days, but for now, I want to continue unwinding this thread of how the Left and Right are completely different and how unfair it is that we have to deal with the never-ending recklessness on the Right.

Back in 2015, when Trump laughably announced he’d be seeking the Republican nomination for president, many prominent Republicans rightfully scoffed at the possibility. You’ll get no better example than Lindsey Graham’s evergreen tweet: “If we nominate Trump we will get destroyed.......and we will deserve it.” Graham went on to call Trump, “a jackass.”

The Bushes, Rubios, and other red-blooded Republicans all saw Trump for what he was: completely disgusting and ridiculous. That was before the big-mouth, lifetime loser started blasting them off the debate stage by imitating a slobbering, belligerent drunk at the end of the bar.

Instead of bouncing him from the party, they allowed him to play to the delight of the silent minority in America, who had watched him bravely fire people on his TV show, and lick his toilet seat by degrading President Obama with his putrid, racist, noxious birther blather.

These were the fine people whose tongues bled from self-censoring the bile that flowed from their broken brains, into their big, fat mouths, and had taken centuries to finally go out of taste in this country. It killed them that there were actually awful, hurtful things they could not say out loud anymore.

Now they were free to be themselves again, and let the sludge flow freely from their chapped lips.

Their freedoms had nothing to do with breaking free from any chains, or breaking glass ceilings. No, their freedoms meant having the permission from the very top to be just as disgusting and appalling as they wanted to be. It meant belittling the disabled, and dragging women into the gutter. It meant coddling Nazis and calling cities that terrified them with their sophistication, “s--t holes.”

Before we knew it Nazis and white suprematists were coming out of their caves everywhere and lighting their tiki torches. They were finally on the march to the point of no return, where their disgusting leader was waiting to tell them that he loved them.

Once you have coddled a racist, a traitor, a two-timer, a friend of our enemies, an environmental terrorist, a serial liar, and a sociopath, you are completely lost and broken. Done.

Now the mob rules the Republican Party, which makes it fitting they are represented by this two-bit thug, who is currently sitting in a court room for hiding campaign money he paid to an adult movie star he slept with named Stormy, while his wife was at home caring for a newborn.

Yeah, that’s good and wholesome and normal right there.

A few have broken free of the madman’s grip in the Republican Party, while others have tried, and have crumpled into a heap and back into the mud and slime.

In February, Trump’s very own attorney general, the morally corrupt, Bill Barr, stumbled into bravery and truth when he said that voting for Trump would be “playing Russian roulette with the country.”

By this past Wednesday he had once again devolved and said, but “I’ll support the Republican ticket” if Trump leads it.

Also in February, New Hampshire Republican Governor Chris Sununu said of Trump: “A--holes come and go. But America is here to stay.”

On Sunday, he admitted he had changed his tune and said: “Look, nobody should be shocked that the Republican governor is supporting the Republican president.”

That’s exactly right, governor: A--holes come and go, and apparently you will do everything you can to hang around for a while. You are a revolting person, sport.

Nobody should be surprised by these things anymore, because the Republican Party is irredeemable and incapable of surprises. They can ALWAYS go lower, and prove it literally every day.

This is what happens when you are morally busted and are not bound by any rules or self-control that guides the rest of us.

This is what happens when you surrender to depravity.

This is what happens when you rubber stamp abuse of women, lies, insurrection and support for dictators as anything in the vicinity of normal.

So what happens when standing by the truth and playing by the rules gets you nowhere as a political party and as a country? What happens when millions discover there is no justice and a depraved mad man once again has the keys to the kingdom?

Thanks to the Barrs and the Sununus, and the tens of millions of below-average, broken-down Republicans littering our country, we are terrifyingly close to finding out.

It is up to the Left to take out the garbage once again in America, because the Right has lost its damn mind, as well as its sense of taste and smell.

At what point can all this FINALLY be delivered as fact and shouted on Page 1?

At what point can we quit pretending that both sides are even remotely the same?

NOW READ: What most assuredly happens when Trump sits down with the New York Times

D. Earl Stephens is the author of “Toxic Tales: A Caustic Collection of Donald J. Trump’s Very Important Letters” and finished up a 30-year career in journalism as the Managing Editor of Stars and Stripes. Follow @EarlofEnough and on his website.

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thefirstknife · 1 year ago

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Ishtar updated so some stuff is on there finally. Didn't want to spam with too many huge posts with just walls of text.

Absolutely losing it about Chivalric Fire seasonal sword. We finally have a canon reason for ornaments from each vendor. It's becuse they argue what the weapon should look like.

"It should be elegant," says Zavala, striking his breastplate with a fist.

Shaxx isn't having it:

Shaxx's firm gesture of denial drives the side of his hand into a shelf. An Omolon-branded canister falls off and rolls across the floor. "It must be an unstoppable force in sword form! It should spit fire! Also, it should be red."

And then Drifter:

"No, no," the Drifter says from the doorway. He kicks the rolling canister away without looking down. "I'm a law-abiding citizen. I pay my taxes. You can trust me. It needs to look mean. You want people thinking: 'They're madder, badder, and hungrier than me. I'm not tangling with them.'"

I'm losing it over him emphasising that he's a law-abiding citizen. It makes him least likely to be a law-abiding citizen. Then poor Banshee is like can you guys settle on a single design and they continue arguing. Absolutely incredible.

A lot of people already posted about the exotic sparrow Nostos. It's about Eramis reminiscing about her wife Athrys and their children and thinking where she might be now. And then she just basically more or less decides to go to them:

It was the same map that Eramis's mate, Athrys, had followed out of Sol. It even included the habitable zones she'd tabbed as potential landing sites. By now, Athrys might be Kell of her own settlement, living happily alongside their grown hatchlings. Or they might all be long-dead. In truth, Eramis hadn't wondered at either possibility for decades. But ever since she saw the Witness disappear into its portal, Eramis could think of little else. All her prior aspirations were made suddenly small. Eliksni solidarity, revenge against the Traveler, enmity with the Humans… they were all irrelevant. If a second Whirlwind was her fate, Eramis would suffer it as she had the first: with Athrys by her side.

Btw, "nostos" is a theme in Ancient Greek stories, about a hero heroically returning home.

Gloaming Journeyer has also been posted by pretty much everyone. It's about Drifter and Eris sharing an incredibly tender moment and finding peace with each other. Just read it.

Wyrmguard seasonal arm piece has a devastating update on Shaw Han's lore in which it is revealed that the Ahamkara exotic he wears is what he made a wish to. He wanted to have his own fireteam. At the end, he gets a call from "Caster-3" aka Cas, one of the members of his fireteam (alongside Maeve) that ended up dying to Navota. The backfire of a wish. Man.

And one more funny for the end, for Dragon's Breath. A return of Marcus Ren and Enoch Bast! They're doing fine and they're being dumbasses together with their friend, Ariadne Gris. Ariadne might be familiar to people who remember obscure lore from the vanilla sparrow lore Dinas Emrys in which Ariadne was called to the Vanguard to explain why she has a dragon symbol painted on her sparrow. She was being suspected of having an Ahamkara. Ikora found this whole thing ridiculous and Ariadne defended herself by saying a dragon painted on a sparrow was "cool."

And she's back at it again in Dragon's Breath, offended that it's called Dragon's Breath but not having a dragon painted on it. Enoch and Marcus then get a deal with her: she'll race her sparrow against the speed of the rocket. What happens next will shock you. Also, important:

Enoch says. At his side, Marcus studies the case.

Not beating the allegations that they're partners.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the wish #season of the wish spoilers #zavala #shaxx #drifter #eramis #eris #shaw #marcus #enoch #just lore.#so many cool little tidbits

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thatbadadvice · 2 years ago

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Help! My Girlfriend Bought Me A Million Dollar House And Raised My Kids And All I Got Was This Million Dollar House And Someone To Raise My Kids, When Is It Finally Going To Be My Turn To Get A Break??????

Pay Dirt, Slate, 17 April 2023:

Dear Pay Dirt, My longterm girlfriend and I disagree about whether a $30,000 inheritance left to her by her great-aunt should be “her” money or “our” money. She wants to spend a large part (almost a third!) of it on expensive supplies for her hobby. I think that we should save most of it and use some of it on a vacation since we both find traveling extremely romantic. My argument is: 1) I don’t care about her hobby, but we’ll both enjoy a trip abroad; 2) we’ve lived on only my (admittedly low, since it’s academia) income for over a decade, so according to her own rule about entitlement to “her” windfall, shouldn’t she technically have been entitled to none of my wages all these years? Her argument is: 1) she had to put aside her hobby for many years to raise our children (it’s not a safe art form for young kids to be around) and yearns to return to it; 2) she paid entirely in cash for our $950k house at the beginning of our partnership (though my income pays the property taxes and maintenance costs), therefore she alleges that we haven’t actually been living on solely my income because I’ve been saving on rent all these years. I feel resentful of the double standard about control over finances and hurt that she would rather prioritize her own joy over our shared joy. She feels impatient to reconnect with her hobby and hurt that her contributions to our lifestyle are unseen. How do we reconcile our different viewpoints? How should the money be allocated? Is there something that we’re missing? —I’m About to Glass(Blow) a Fuse

Dear About to (Glass)Blow a Fuse,

I hope you don't mind that I corrected your very clever parenthetical sign-off! You're understandably dealing with a lot of hurt right now at the hands of the cruel and self-absorbed girlfriend who bought you a million-dollar home and abandoned her beloved hobby to raise your children, so I totally get why a brilliant, overworked, and under-appreciated academic genius such as yourself would fuck up something so incredibly simple and obvious, you poor thing. Really speaks to the distress you're in as the victim of this woman's sordid scheme to steal every ounce of joy from your life by experiencing some of her own after decades of managing your household for you for free.

Great relationships are built on the exactly equal division of all resources, and it sounds like your girlfriend has trouble grasping this because she seems to believe that the home you live in and the time she has invested raising your children for you have value, when of course they do not. The only thing that has value in this world is cash money, which is why we call it money. If parenting were valuable, you'd be able to trade it on the stock market! And what was your girlfriend going to do, not live in a house? These are things she'd have done with her life anyway, and they don't get to count toward her contribution to the household just because she did them for and with you instead of expressly and specifically pursuing her art. Whereas who knows what you could have done with your life if you hadn't been locked into a free house and a partner dedicating herself full-time to keeping your children alive for you?

Now, after all these years of being nothing but a worthless freeloader whom you support out of the generous goodness of your kind heart, your girlfriend has finally acquired something of value, and she wants to keep an entire third of it for herself? To do something that doesn't directly benefit, enrich, or entertain you personally? That's not equity, and it's certainly no way to repay you for periodically writing checks to the plumber. Isn't it about time you finally got something out of all of this for your trouble?

What benefit is there for you in having a partner who enjoys the sweet satisfaction of creative fulfillment after years of yearning to express herself? What kind of weirdo wants their girlfriend to have her own interests? And what kind of ungrateful hussy doesn't jump to spend thousands of her own money on a romantic vacation with someone who actively resents even entertaining the possibility of the idea of her doing something that makes her artistic spirit sing?

The balance sheet of this relationship is indeed all out of whack, and it's too bad that it's taken this long for your girlfriend to see just how uneven your bargain has been. If we're going to get technical about what has "value" in a relationship — and it does seem like your girlfriend is an inveterate bean-counter in the worst way around this stuff — the best way to reconcile your mutual account, as it were, is to present your girlfriend with an itemized bill for all the services you have provided her over the years, such as allowing her to buy you a home, permitting her to forego a wage-earning career, and gifting her with the opportunity to abandon her favorite hobby. That should pretty swiftly put everything you're "missing" in stark relief, and solve the question of how she should allocate her money in the future.

#advice #bad advice #money #financial advice #slate #pay dirt #vacations #inheritances #finances #this goofy chucklefuck

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 7 months ago

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I think, Meghan (allegedly) filed a case against the IRS to contest some charges/tax returns that she felt were unfair. Or because she thought she was charged extra and deserved a hugher refund than she got. And then she lost the case and had to pay the IRS for the filing a case against her. I don't know how true that is, just that she did file a case against the IRS. This was probably around 2010/11 so around the Trevor years. This is off the top of my head though, no factual receipts. Just something I remember reading on the old Tumblrs that are now defunct.

But about the financial fraud, I don't know if it counts but it is interesting to me that Meghan's lifestyle was mostly sustained on gifts and favours. She hardly paid for anything. At first, while she was auditioning, she lived with Trevor. They had a decent enihouse. But her dad says that he sometimes gave her money and it was mostly Trevor who sustained their day-to-day. It's believable and nothing wrong in that if that's the understanding that the couple has.

Then in Toronto, the suits producers got her a rental home. And later, a chauffeured car to get her to and from the set. This was a favour pulled by her friend rick hoffman.

There are some conflicting reports that say that she moved in with Cory mainly to save on rental. As in, it was his place and she moved in with him immediately after they started dating.

The Soho ambassadorship that she did, and later her small scale endorsements and Tig sponcerships got her a lot of goodies. All of her hotel stays, 1st class travels, food etc was almost always sponcon.

The only thing she allegedly spent her own money on was (probably) the air travel when she started dating Harry and they had their 2week arrangment. (Either one of them would travel to the other every 2 weeks). But she later moved in with himwhen suits ended.

So I'd say, Meghan does not understand finances, other than accumulating money in her own name in her own bank account. She has big dreams - foundations, charities, galas, UN missions, commonwealth, holiday homes, private jets etc etc... but has never paid for anything out of pocket so does not know how to sustain those dreams.

I was thinking of a different case of financial fraud - in 2020 or 2021, it was revealed that the SussexRoyal Foundation was being investigated over some allegations made about the way Harry and Meghan handled some transactions. I don’t remember the specific details and I can’t look it up at the moment, but there was a very haughty Sussex “we told you we didn’t do anything wrong” statement made when the investigation closed/cleared the allegations.

Whenever the Sussexes get in the news for their finances or Archewell paperwork, I always remember that incident, and specifically their response. It really rubbed me the wrong way and because they seemed to be gloating about having been cleared of wrongdoing, it makes me think that there actually really is something shady happening behind the scenes. I think they’re lucky it hasn’t been caught yet, chiefly because their MO is to distract us with semantics and petty “it’s the AG’s fault” blame game-type BS, but this week makes it clear they’re living on borrowed time.

#sussexes #brf #theories #rumors

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uboat53 · 22 days ago

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It's two days after the election and Republicans are already insisting that Democrats need to drop their opposition to Trump and try to work together which… yeah, really.

If you find yourself wondering "sure, why shouldn't they?", I'll go ahead and lay it out.

First of all, Republicans have never done this, certainly not in my adult lifetime. Before Barack Obama was even sworn in the top elected Republican announced that his number one goal was to make him a one-term president. They spent eight years stonewalling every attempt he made at outreach and arguably caused a lot of pain to Americans in the process by preventing any efforts to ease the recovery from the Great Recession. In 2016, when everyone thought Clinton was going to win, every elected Republican was vocal about how their top priority was preparing to resist, attack, and investigate every aspect of the expected administration. Even in Biden's term, while some Senators did join him to pass an infrastructure bill, most Republicans spent the entire four years even denying that he was legitimately elected.

There's an idea in game theory where you set up a game that gets played over and over again ad infinitum. On each turn, two people independently choose to either cooperate or not for that turn. If they both cooperate each gets a 70% prize and if they both refuse then they each a 30% prize, but if one person cooperates and one person doesn't then the person who cooperated gets nothing while the other person gets a 100% prize (these numbers aren't exact, but they make the point). So how do you win the game? Well, obviously, long-term, the best strategy is cooperation, but if one person always cooperates the other person can take advantage of this to do even better by refusing their cooperation.

I'll spare you the math and game theory behind this idea, but it turns out that the optimal strategy, the one that leads to the best rate of return, is to cooperate on the first turn and then simply do whatever the other person did before on every turn after that. In this way you always leave open a return to cooperation, but you also prevent yourself from being taken advantage of.

Basically, when Republicans ask for (demand, really) cooperation, they're asking for something they've never been willing to give themselves. Maybe if, for once, they were at least magnanimous in victory, we might able to talk, but that leads me to my second point…

What, exactly, is there to compromise on? Look, if we both think that we need to invest in roads and schools but we have different ideas about what kinds of things need to be invested in or how much to invest, then we can have a conversation and that can lead to compromise, but that's not the nature of the disagreements on key issues. Republicans think that LGBT people should not have basic rights, that states should have the right to gerrymander minorities out of political power, that women have too many rights these days (abortion, no fault divorce, etc.), and that corporations and rich people pay too much in taxes.

Don't believe me? Look at the legislation they're already lining up and the policies they're preparing to put in place, they're not planning a single bill or policy that does anything but the things that I listed above. So what should the Democrats compromise on? Should we agree that LGBT people only deserve some rights? Should we trade women's rights against minority rights? Should we give up on tilting the economy back in favor of working people and accept even more national debt to give money to rich people?

The agenda that Republicans have proposed is so radical and so violently opposed to everything that the Democratic Party stands for that there's no room for compromise. Even if Democrats wanted to set aside party differences and do what's best for the country, Republicans aren't doing anything that Democrats could remotely agree is good for the country. And here's the thing, most Americans agree. Yes, I know, the United States just elected Republicans to power but, while they did so, they also voted almost entirely against Republicans on almost every issue that I noted above that was up for a vote, even in deep red states! Americans may like Republican vibes and messaging, but every time it comes down to actual policy, the policy that Democrats prefer wins over and over again.

So, as a Democrat, I'm expecting my party to resist. They won't be able to stop everything, but I expect them to raise hell, throw sand in the gears, and investigate fully to point out every last bit of self-dealing, hypocrisy, and flagrant disregard for the rule of law that goes on on the other side.

If Republicans don't like this, if they want cooperation, then they need to think long and hard about what they're actually willing to offer. Just getting less of this far-right policy isn't enough, we can probably stop more of it by resisting anyways. If they want cooperation, they need to think about which of our issues they're willing to give. Are they willing to pass legislation to protect the rights of women, LGBT, and minorities? Are they willing to nominate moderate judges instead of Federalist Society operatives? How about giving 80% of their tax cuts to the working class instead of the rich?

They'll find plenty of Democrats willing to talk if those things are on offer, including me. Of course, they're not actually offering anything; to them, "compromise" just means that we give in to what they want and that's why I have no problems saying that I intend to fully resist the policy of the upcoming administration and I expect my party and all its elected representatives to do the same. When compromise becomes a two-way street, I'm fine with going back to it, but I'm done with the one-way "compromises" the GOP keeps demanding.

And, if you're one of the "why can't we all just get along?" people in politics who want politicians to be bipartisan, I hope I've shown you what it will take to get there.

#politics #us politics #bipartisanship #democrats #republicans

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warningsine · 8 months ago

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The funniest show on television is Girls5Eva, which transplanted from the backwoods of Peacock to the mires of Netflix for its third season. While a lot of shows have taken off after landing on Netflix — You, for instance — Girls5Eva, from the data available publicly, didn’t get many viewers on the platform. I’m no expert on the mechanics of streaming, but I have one radical explanation for why this is happening: There are simply not enough episodes of Girls5Eva available to watch. On Peacock, the show had two eight-episode seasons. Netflix has given it an additional six. That means that Girls5Eva has aired, in total, only 22 episodes, about the same number as a full-season order of an old-fashioned network sitcom like 30 Rock, to which Meredith Scardino’s series is deeply indebted (Scardino wrote on 30 Rock; Tina Fey is a Girls5Eva executive producer). Over a three-year period? This is simply not enough!

Sitcoms are built for mass production and consumption, with dynamics between characters designed to generate an endless stream of story lines, and it can take a season or two to fully gel. Girls5Eva is lucky enough to have a distinct sensibility and a strong cast from the start, but it hasn’t had the space to work through all the possible material. There’s so much to mine in flashbacks to the girl group’s checkered early-aughts past, in Wickie’s failed solo career, in Summer’s wackadoo Christian upbringing, in Gloria’s fraught lesbian drama, and in Dawn’s attempts to find her own way as a songwriter (plus the larger meta arc of Sara Bareilles coming into her own as a comedic actor). Season three, in which the crew goes on tour around the country, tries to cover so much ground it’s like a distance runner sprinting at her vO2 max. The overarching plot — they want to perform at Radio City Music Hall — encroaches on all the fun along the way, rushing past a guest appearance from Cat Cohen, the reveal of Wickie’s real backstory, and an intricate Harry Styles parody. Sitcoms should be about all the fun everyone is having along the way, and we’ve lost that.

But there is another and perhaps more important reason that we need longer seasons of Girls5Eva: holidays. Network sitcoms, airing on a traditional schedule, have the opportunity to set episodes around the holidays near which they would air; think of the Thanksgiving episodes of Friends, The Office’s Christmas episodes, 30 Rock’s impeccable use of Leap Day. In my ideal universe where Girls5Eva has 22-episode seasons, Netflix would also abandon the binge strategy and air those episodes weekly, but that’s not a necessity. You could still drop them all at once, which gives me the opportunity to revisit the holiday episodes as those holidays occur throughout the year. If you need convincing, here are my suggestions for some holidays the Girls5Eva might celebrate:

Christmas (duh): Dawn tries to write a Christmas song; Wickie reveals a longstanding feud with Mariah Carey (she claims one of the items from her riff rolodex appears in “All I Want for Christmas Is You”; Mariah does not know her).

Thanksgiving: The girls try to book a gig at the Macy’s Parade (as Peacock actually had the stars do, to the confusion of my parents watching at home) while also atoning for their past sins at the event (revealed in flashback).

Valentine’s Day: Gloria revisits a past relationship with Taylor Lautner (she was his dentist).

Tax season: Summer reveals she hasn’t been paying taxes for years (thought you were covered if you already paid your church).

Presidents’ Day: Dawn tries to write a song about Lincoln being sexy, inadvertently offends a gay activist group.

Pride month: Return of Bowen Yang’s lip-sync influencer.

Cuffing season: Big for Gloria.

The Feast of San Gennaro: Big for Dawn (why is the show so all-in on Sara Bareilles being Italian??).

V-E Day: Wickie and Dawn’s husband, Scott, discover their mutual fascination with the Eastern Front: “I spent a lot of time touring post-Soviet states, okay!”

Casimir Pulaski Day: Gloria has beef with Sufjan Stevens.

#girls5eva

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matt0044 · 1 year ago

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So… Magnifico was Disney, right?

I mean, you got his dabbling in dark magic corrupting him from a ruler who makes selfish decisions behind his benevolence. One could liken him to how Walt Disney likely started out with decent intentions for art on top of money.

However, those calling out his unfair working conditions as has been historically documented show that he became a lot more about business than about letting artists flourish. A baton that has clearly been passed from each CEO to the next.

I mean, Asha's posse and their song would totally be what would've been sung during the Hollywood Strike. The big bad is even defeated not by one lone hero rising against the odds but the whole kingdom coming together in solidarity. In a union, you might say.

It's honestly a good take on acknowledging that Disney's founder wasn't exactly squeaky (wink, wink) clean the more he ran the show.

Furthermore, the Wishes here feel like IPs here. Some are granted and allowed to flourish. Many others are rejected and hoarded even. Why hoard when you could keep back? Well, the king though Saba's wish to inspire with music could spark a rebellion against him.

A real life analogue could be that of the Disney Vault where certain stories aren't sold anymore because of taxes they can totally afford to pay but don't want to because that's... beneath them.

Even more pointly are other companies creating their own vaults for shows that don't even get the dignity of going out and getting cancelled for their own shortcomings. Returning certain IPs, ones not born from studio heads first, back to the original creators would also increase competition that a megacorporation would fear.

I mean, we rave about The Amazing Digital Circus now but it's only one in a long line of small studios and small creators working not within a studio system that's liable to screw them over. Rather they take their Wishes and work their own magic.

#disney #disney's wish #wish #wish 2023 #wish disney #disney wish #wish movie #king magnifico #queen amaya #asha #asha disney #knowing what i know now #animation #megacorp #intellectual property #analysis #meta

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bionicle-ramblings · 3 months ago

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Onto our boy himself:

Onewa!

@chancetimespace I hope I did him justice!😅

I mentioned in the intro post he was trying to get his honor back and make a name for himself.

Before the AU takes place, he was actually a renowned carver and was working his way into knighthood, as he was skilled with handling weapons and was pretty well known for building statues and a few buildings. People had a lot of respect for him, knew he was someone that was reliable, even though he often had a chip on his shoulder. By all accounts, he was honored as a skilled architect and an artist. He was also able to support his family(namely his parents and younger siblings) pretty easily, and had really made something of himself.

So what happened?

A night where the village was attacked and he not only worked alongside a fugitive to save everyone, but then also didn't think to capture or alert the guards that the fugitive was even there in the first place. And when he tried explaining what had really happened, most people didn't believe him, as a rival carver who saw everything twisted the events and spread it like wild fire. It cost him just about everything, as his titles of artist, carver, builder, etc, were all stripped from him and his family was left in shambles. Hard times fell on them and most family members blamed him for it, doing so to his face and behind his back.

The only one who really believed him and was still in his corner was his friend Matau, who had heard what happened from his travels(we'll get there when we get there), and offered what he could to support his friend, even offering to helping supporting his family and offered Onewa an easy way out; "Long-travel with me! You never know! People in the North love a good share-story, especially when the hero's someone like them!"

As much as he appreciated it, he turned both down and instead did whatever work he could, much of it being physically taxing for hum and not paying well because people knew who he was and didn't really trust him.

He started getting ideas when someone from a group of ten returned from a journey, being in pure hysterics and going on about a princess locked in a castle and being guarded by a dragon, one that was cunning and ruthless and killed the rest of his group. The dragon also guards a vault, but no one's been able to get close enough to it.

While everyone fretted about an unstoppable creature and a poor girl doomed to die in its clutches, Onewa really got to thinking about what he'd heard and tracked down the princess's family, who revealed their daughter was indeed trapped, having been trapped under a curse and now with a dragon, and they don't have the means to rescue her; everyone they send winds up never returning.

It's here that Onewa offers himself and himself alone to take on the task: he will rescue the princess and bring her home and defeat the dragon, but in return, he wants the treasure in the vault and he wants to be able to be a carver again. They are skeptical on letting him go through with it, but Onewa never mentions that in saving someone who really might need help, he'll get his honor back and show that he's good for something. And if he fails, at least Matau will mourn him.

After some negotiations and talking, the family agrees and Onewa prepares for his trek and his mission. His own family is even more livid, but this time it's the kind of anger where you don't know how to express that you're scared for your son/brother, so it comes off more as, "You're a fool and an idiot and this will literally be the end of you," rather than, "We don't want you to do this because what if we never see you again?"

The only one to really voice the latter is his sister, who makes him promise he'll come home.

With that, he leaves, and everyone has now heard what he's planning to do and equally bid their farewells and wish him luck, as he really is going to need it.

He's not alone, though: Matau has tagged along and won't be leaving because if Onewa wins against this dragon, he wants to see it, and the GLORY it will bring them both is terrific to even think about: "They'll cheer-hail us! Write songs! Drink-toast our names! WE CAN HAVE OUR OWN STATUES!"

#bionicle #ramblings #fairytale au #onewa #long post #not saying who the rival is yet

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phoenixyfriend · 2 years ago

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Ko-Fi prompt from @kayasurin:

Economy topic - Trickle Down Economics, why they work/don't work

HI it's been two months since I got this prompt, so. Sorry about that. been a lot going on in my personal life, so let's hope this makes up for the wait.

(To anyone who was considering doing a ko-fi prompt... I promise to get to them, but I cannot promise a reasonable time frame, sorry.)

So, Trickle-down economics, and if they work.

Short answer: They absolutely don't.

Longer answer that you actually paid for:

Trickle-down is basically a propaganda-driven hustle that rich people run against the working class. It's an economic theory that is known to not function, but since it serves the people up top to keep pushing it, we still have to deal with people pretending it's a real thing.

The basic concept of it is that if the capitalists at the top are allowed to retain more money (less taxes), then that money will naturally find its way lower down the pyramid through natural market forces. If a wealthy individual is allowed to keep an extra 50% of their marginal income, then the bulk of that 50% will go into their businesses, reinvested to generate more wealth by purchasing new equipment, running R&D, and paying more money to more workers. By not paying the taxes, they wealthiest classes can direct their money as they see fit, so really they don't end up with any more money than they would have if they paid their taxes!

As you can guess, this is not what actually happens in almost every possible application of the theory.

First, let's address the concept of marginal tax rates. They get a lot of hate, but I find this infographic explains the reality best:

(source: This post, but originally from Kasia Babis on The Nib/@thenib)

To summarize for those using a screen reader:

Let's say you earn 50k every year, and we're not going to bother with currency, because this is a simplified explanation. In this scenario, there is a national/federal income tax of approximately 20%. With that, you give 10k to the government, and retain 40k for your own purposes.

You have a neighbor who makes 500k every year. In this hypothetical, a marginal tax rate applies to earnings over 100k. The marginal tax rate is 70%. What does that mean for your neighbor?

They pay 20% on the 100k, which is 20k. Then they pay 70% on the remaining 400k, which is 280k. Combining the base tax and marginal, they are taxed 300k. At the end of the day, they are left with 200k. The total tax on their income is 60%. If you're following along, you can tell that regardless of the final percentage, anyone that the marginal tax applies to is always going to get to keep at least 80k, the amount left of the pay that is taxed at the base rate.

The more you earn, the more you are taxed. Again, this is super simplified, but this is the most basic way marginal taxation works. (Tax brackets are related but not entirely the same thing.)

With a marginal tax, exorbitant wealth is curtailed by forcing that wealth back into the system. The understanding is that nobody can actually perform hundreds of times more labor than their lowest-paid worker, and so all that surplus income was in some way not distributed properly. They get to keep enough to live on, quite comfortably, but not all of it.

There may be some companies that are willing to cap their highest wages in relation to their lowest, but those are far and few between. There's a reason the average ratio of CEO to entry level worker in the US is nearly 400:1... up from 1965's 20:1. (source)

Trickle-down theorizes that, if allowed to keep that exorbitant wealth, the Capitalists will distribute that wealth back to their workers or reinvest it into productive enterprise, and do so in response to market forces or out of fear of a return of the marginal tax.

This is not what happens, basically ever. People do not earn that much money if they are already paying a living wage and distributing wealth properly. You cannot get exorbitantly wealthy through anything other than wage theft, system abuse, or capital-based market manipulation (see: hedge funds, housing market).

I suppose you could inherit the money, or win the lottery, but the latter is actually taxed higher than the former, believe it or not. The United States federal government doesn't have an inheritance tax, and most states also don't. There might be various legal fees and such, but not any actual taxes.

Where we end up is that those taxes the rich don't have to pay go instead towards 'passive income' schemes and market manipulation like the housing market.

(That is an entire separate rant, but yeah, most of the housing market at that income bracket is, to some degree, deliberately manipulated by those involved in it. We are all 100% watching for that bubble burst that is inevitably heading our way.)

The wealth does not trickle down to the workers. It is guided by those who have it, and they are significantly more likely to put it in foreign bank accounts, liquid assets, and real estate that they hope will gain value for a capital gain at sale.

Trickle-down economics relies on the goodwill of the wealthy, but almost nobody gets that wealthy by having goodwill to spare.

(Prompt me on ko-fi!)

#trickle down #trickle down economics #economics #economics prompts #ko fi prompts #ko fi

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theverystrangegirl27 · 7 months ago

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♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ Triple Fun That Way

Summary: After starring in Alex's show The Idot Box with Keanu, some dormant feelings arise, and the influence of weed helps you act on the impulses that you've denied for so long.

Warnings: smut, threesome, oral (m receiving), recreational drug use

You knew Alex from NYU, striking up a casual friendship that had lasted for a good few years as you both came up in the industry.

When he asked you to be in a new bit for his show, The Idiot Box, you were excited- not only to be working on such a fun project, but to be reconnecting with an old friend.

Keanu, who you knew in passing and from the movies he and Alex had worked on together, was your co-star.

You could tell it made Alex happy, old friends combing with new friends, and you liked Keanu.

He was funny, soft spoken, and gentle with you when the scene called for him to thrash you around a little, his villainous persona so ridiculous you had to bite your tongue to keep from giggling.

The bit was simple but funny- Keanu playing the overly cartoonish villain holding you, the helpless damsel, hostage. Alex, dressed in a ridiculous outfit of his own, attempting to rescue you while also trying to keep the show rolling into the next bit.

It was silly, fun in a way you haven't gotten to experience in your career as of late. You've been cast in a lot of dramatic, emotionally taxing roles, so Alex's goofiness was a nice change of pace.

You're standing by one of the monitors after shooting, watching the replay of the scene you just filmed when Alex comes up behind you.

“You critiquing my performance?” He asks, giving your shoulder a nudge with his own. You look back at him with a grin.

“Oh absolutely, somebody's gotta keep your ego in check.”

You turn back to the monitor, pretending to look for a mistake to point out. It's hard, because Alex hardly gives less than his all.

“Ah ha!” You exclaim, pointing out the way Alex stumbles a little up the hill in the scene.

“Sloppy footwork, Winter. What do we pay you for?”

He clutches his chest, tossing his head back in mock distress.

“You wound me, Y/N.”

You laugh, eyes following the bounce of his curls and the way his mouth turns upwards in a smile. Your heart gives a sharp tug that you tamp down.

Of course you've developed a bit of a crush on Alex. After being friends for so long, it's only natural.

He rocks back on his heels and glances at the monitor for a second before looking back at you.

“Keanu and I are gonna head back to my place after I get a few things done around the set, you wanna come?”

Butterflies begin to flutter around in your stomach, and you nod.

“Yeah, that sounds fun.”

Alex smiles in return.

“Cool,” He says, running a hand through his hair. When it springs back into place over his forehead, the butterflies intensify. “Keanus's gonna head over now if you wanna catch a ride with him, I should only be like fifteen minutes.”

You look over his shoulder to where Keanu is talking with a stage manager, hands in his leather jacket. You swallow, suddenly a little nervous.

You like Keanu, but he's handsome in a way that really intimidates you. Despite his gentle and kind demeanor, his intensity makes you nervous and- to your embarrassment- turns you on.

You can't help but feel a little ridiculous, having a crush on both Alex and Keanu. You were a professional, not some stupid school girl.

You smile wide, hoping to hide your nerves.

“For sure, I'll see you back at yours!” You say, and Alex looks content with that as he heads off to talk with the camera man.

The stage hand and Keanu have just finished talking when you reach him, his focus now solely on you.

He looks pleased to see you, and that does little to quell your nerves.

God, he's so pretty.

“Alex said you were heading to his, mind if I tag along with you?” You ask.

Keanu smiles, and you can hear your pulse as it thumps in your ears.

“Totally, you ever been on a bike before?”

You shake your head, but you're up for anything.

He reaches out a hand, and you take it, the weight of his palm in yours warm and oddly comforting.

He's got that smile aimed right at you, and you know you're a goner.

He looks over your head and sends a wink in someone else's direction, and before you can turn to look he's pulling you towards the parking lot.

The whole way to Alex's, you've got your hands under Keanus's jacket, his heartbeat steady under your palm.

Alex's apartment is nicely furnished, couch comfortable as you and Keanu sit together.

You watch as he sparks up a joint he found in one of Alex's kitchen drawers, extending it upward with a triumphant laugh.

“You're sure he won't mind?” You ask.

Keanu chuckles.

“Nah, he'll probably be a little jealous I'm smoking with you alone, though.”

You furrow your brow, confused.

“What do you mean?”

Keanu pauses to take the first drag from the joint, letting the smoke sit in his lungs before exhaling his answer.

“C'mon Y/N, you know what I mean.”

You have a suspicion, but you want to hear it from Keanu.

You shake your head, taking the joint as it's passed to you.

Keanu raises an eyebrow, a slow, knowing smile spreading across his lips.

“You and Alex go back a long time, think about it.” He says as you take a hit.

You exhale, the heady, thick scent of the joint slowly filling the room as you pass it back.

Just as you open your mouth to respond, the front door clicks open.

“You guys started without me?” Alex calls from the entryway, and Keanu laughs.

“Snooze you lose, dude.”

You can't help but smile as Alex comes into view.

He sets his keys on the kitchen counter, sighs, and flops down on the couch next to you.

Keanu reaches over you to pass the joint to Alex, their arms crossing in front of you.

“Thanks,” Alex mumbles, taking a puff and looking down at it. “Where'd you get this, anyway?”

Keanu shrugs, leaning back.

“Under your spoons in the kitchen. You gotta find a better hiding place for your weed, man.”

Alex rolls his eyes, exhaling and passing it to you.

You feel both of their eyes on you as you purse your lips around the joint, suddenly aware of how close both men are.

It makes you feel a little warm and fuzzy around the edges, the weed slowly creeping up on you.

After about a good thirty minutes of smoking, talking, and joking around, you're pleasantly high.

You lean a little into Alex's side, his arm up and around the back of the couch.

You shake your head when the joint comes back around to you, knowing your limits. You don't want to get too high, knowing that this is one of your few chances to hang out with Alex before you both get too busy.

You notice that as Alex reaches over you to pass the dwindling joint to Keanu, a look passes between them.

Your mind races a bit, wondering what that look could mean. It was subtle, a simple quirk of an eyebrow, a wry smile- that could mean anything.

You hum in surprise when you feel Alex's fingers playing with the length of hair that rests across your shoulder, his arm looping around you.

“You changed your hair since the last time we hung out.” He murmurs, eyes heavy lidded as he looks at you.

You shrug.

“It's for a movie.”

From your other side, Keanu shucks off his jacket, the leather warm when it briefly presses against you.

You have a slight suspicion they're plotting something, but you have no idea what.

“What movie?” Keanu asks, one foot resting on the coffee table, his elbow on the back of the couch.

“Some romantic comedy,” You explain, wrinkling your nose. “I'm a little nervous, there's this whole sex scene I'm supposed to do and-” You shrug. “I don't know if I'm gonna be any good.”

Alex shifts at that, turning into you a little.

“Look at you all grown up,” He teases, that easy, lazy grin you love so much spreading across his face. “Little Y/N, taking her pants off on camera.”

You roll your eyes, hitting his chest.

Keanu hums, thinking.

“Is this your first sex scene?” He asks, looking at you and then at Alex.

You narrow your eyes, not sure if you're paranoid from the weed or if these two really are conspiring.

“Yeah, I have no idea what I'm doing.” You admit, laughing and running a hand through your hair.

Keanu watches you with parted lips.

“Let's practice, then.”

You rear your head back, eyes wide as you let out a startled laugh.

“What?”

Keanu sits up, leaning towards you.

“We can show you what to do, give you some tips.”

His face is suddenly really close to yours.

“Y'know, practice.”

You furrow your brow, glancing at his lips.

Alex's hand settles on your thigh from your other side, and you turn to look at him over your shoulder.

His eyes are a little red, lids lowered as he looks at you with that easy, knowing grin.

It dawns on you suddenly as you turn back to Keanu.

“You two freaks planned this, didn't you?”

Keanu tilts his head to the side, but his smile says it all.

“Planned what?” He asks.

You roll your eyes, smiling.

Feeling emboldened by the weed and the tight squeeze Alex gives your thigh, you take Keanus's face between your palms and lay one on him.

Keanu makes a soft sound when your lips meet, but parts them as you pull him closer.

He's soft with it like you knew he would be, his palm coming up to rest at your waist.

When you pull away, you both grin at each other, eyes over bright and playful.

Alex shifts behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Gonna leave me hangin’ beautiful?”

You turn, Alex cupping your cheek with one hand and pulling you in.

You've wanted to kiss Alex for years now, dreaming of it when you'd lay awake in bed.

All of those fantasies pale in comparison to the real thing.

His hand against your face is warm, guiding you into the kiss gently. His lips, a little chapped, work against yours, and you feel yourself sinking into Alex's side.

You maneuver yourself up onto your knees and then settle in Alex's lap, letting him pull you closer by your waist.

The kiss becomes hungry, tongues meeting and lips parting with wet, sensual sounds.

Keanu reaches a hand into Alex's hair and pulls him away from you, his own lips finding the blond’s and you smile, leaning down to kiss and bite at Alex's neck.

Keanu and Alex make out above you, their lips shiny with spit and their tongues licking into each other's mouths.

You shift a little in Alex's lap, feeling yourself getting wet.

They break for air, both grinning.

You play with the hem of Alex's shirt, looking up at him with big eyes.

“I'll show you mine if you show me yours.” You tease, and he smiles, a dazed expression on his face.

You lean back, watching unabashedly as Alex sheds his shirt.

Once it's tossed away, you lean forward with your hands on his chest.

“How do we wanna do this?” You ask, nipping at his bottom lip.

Keanu leans in from the side, his lips finding yours.

Alex makes an interested sound, his hands trailing up your shirt.

“I think you'd look real pretty on my dick, Y/N.” He breathes, helping you lift your shirt up and over your head.

You hum in response. You look at Keanu, the way his chin length hair falls in front of his eyes, how he's looking at you like you're the prettiest thing he's ever seen.

“And you?” You ask, your thumb swiping over Keanus's lips. He parts them, his tongue running over the pad of it.

“You ever been to Paris?”

You laugh, the sound of it reverberating through the apartment, and Alex joins in as he nuzzles your neck.

“That was so bad.” You say through your laughter, moving to kiss Keanu again.

Keanu smiles into it, and you gasp a little as Alex takes your nipple into his mouth.

Your hand finds the back of his head, fingers tangling in curly blond hair as Keanu takes your jaw in his hand, deepening the kiss.

It's hot, the room getting stuffy with the weed and the scent of sex. Eventually, you all rearrange yourselves, peeling off layers of clothes and revealing supple, sweaty skin.

You find yourself back on Alex's lap, facing away from him this time.

His fingers reach in front of you to play with your pussy, your legs spread wide as Keanu stands before the two of you.

He's looking down at you with dark eyes, his hand around his dick as he watches Alex's fingers dip into you.

“Knew you'd look good like this, baby.” He breathes. “Like an angel, I swear.”

You feel Alex hum in agreement, his chest hot against your back as he bites at your neck.

You bite your lip, a sigh escaping you as he thumbs at your clit. You're sopping wet, your skin overheated from all of the attention you're getting.

You feel lightheaded at the prospect of both of these men taking you. Alex's dick is right at the entrance of your pussy, hard and warm against your skin.

When you take it in your hand, he groans a little, the tip slipping into you. You sigh, eyes falling shut as you raise yourself and slowly sink down onto him.

“Shit,” Alex grunts, head falling back against the couch.

Keanu steps forward, offering his dick up and you smile before you take the tip into your mouth, looking up at him through your lashes.

You roll your hips, Alex's hands guiding your movements as Keanu thrusts shallowly, hand in your hair.

You close your eyes, losing yourself in the moment and just feeling.

Alex's hands are warm on your waist, his hips raising to meet yours. He's making these gorgeous noises- soft gasps and moans that send sparks up your spine.

Keanu's hand in your hair tugs you up and down his dick, controlling yet gentle. His dick hits the back of your throat every now and then, spit and precum dripping down your chin as your throat makes this wet, clicking sound.

It's so hot, the two guys you want the most wanting you just as much.

You furrow your brow, moving your head to take Keanu deeper and relishing in the way he moans your name.

Alex bucks up into you, making you choke a little on Keanu.

“Sorry, Y/N.” Alex chuckles breathlessly, hot and high and horny. His hands pull you down onto his dick, not letting you pull up, just grinding upwards.

You moan around Keanu, the vibrations making the dark haired man throw his head back in pleasure.

Tears leak out of your eyes but you can't bring yourself to care. The way both men are dicking you down has your mind melting in the best way, your orgasm creeping up on you as Alex's dick assaults your g-spot, your legs shaking when he gets two fingers on your clit.

“Fuck, you gonna come baby?” Alex asks through gritted teeth, hands starting to rock you back and forth.

It makes you gasp when Keanu pulls his dick out of your mouth, a string of spit connecting it to your lips.

“Oh my-y god,” is all you can get out, Keanus's dick slipping against your mouth and diving back in.

Keanu laughs, tongue peaking between his teeth.

“Yeah she is, man.” He grabs your head, holding you in place as he fucks your mouth.

“Mmm,” you moan, loud and tearful as you look up at Keanu.

“God, when you look at me like that,” He trails off, shaking his head with an awed grin, biting his lip as the tip of his dick hits your throat again.

Alex groans loudly from behind you, his mouth dropped open as your walls squeeze tight around him. His fingers work frantically at your clit, touch made slippery and smooth by how wet they're making you.

“Gonna come inside, baby,” Alex tells you, your brain too scrambled to really register what's happening.

Your walls clench, your breathing coming in fast and shallow as your orgasm hits its peak.

Keanu takes his dick from your mouth, watching your face.

“Alex,” You almost sob, thighs shaking as he dicks you down good, pulling you so that your back is pressed tight to his chest.

“C'mon, Y/N, c'mon,” He encourages, voice raspy and hot against your ear.

Your orgam rolls through you, your eyes finding Keanu's as you come. Lips parted, eyes filled with tears, you feel yourself clench rhythmically around Alex, who's letting out his own gasps and sighs as he comes deep inside of you.

“Holy shit,” Keanu breathes, his dark eyes blown wide with lust.

You make a soft noise in the back of your throat, reaching for him.

“Want you to come in my mouth.” You tell him breathlessly, and who is he to deny you?

You work your hand up and down his dick, mouth following close behind.

“Fuck, you gonna swallow, baby?” Keanu asks, groaning low as you swipe your tongue over the head.

“She's a good girl, of course she will.” Alex says, his hand stroking down your back as his dick softens inside of you.

You like the weight of it there, making you feel claimed by him, something you had always wanted.

Keanu pulls you forward, your nose buried in his pubes, and he holds you there as he comes down your throat.

You make a point to swallow every last drop.

The three of you take stock of each other, sticky with come and sweat, smelling of weed and sex.

Alex raises an eyebrow.

“Shower, anyone?”

Alex's shower is definitely not meant for three grown adults, but you somehow make it work, washing Alex's hair while Keanu does your back.

It's sweet, making you sentimental and a little sorrowful that it can't be like this all the time.

You voice your opinion aloud when the three of you are all sitting around the living room again- Keanu with his feet up on Alex's coffee table, and you tucked under Alex's arm.

“Who says it can't be?” Alex asks, and you look up at him, hopeful.

“We like you, you like us, we like each other.” Alex explains, connecting the dots. “Who's stopping us?”

It hits you then, what Keanu had meant when he told you to think about Alex and your relationship, how it's progressed as you've gotten older.

Alex wants you just like you've been wanting him.

You can't help the smile that stretches across your face, leaning further into Alex.

“You two should come with me for my movie, make sure I'm putting all that ‘practice’ to good use.”

Keanu laughs, and Alex pulls you in tighter.

“Baby, we'll be there.”

#its done babyyyyy #only took me forever #x reader #rpf fic #keanu reeves x reader #alex winter x reader #actress reader #poly!au #smut #rpf smut

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astrojulia · 2 years ago

Note

Hi! Thanks for your time and effort in creating your informational posts. Do you have anything about Saturn returns? My kid adult is coming up to his Saturn return and I can see he's feeling life is a little bit heavier. He's a Pisces so he's in his feels anyway but I was hoping I could ease the burden a bit by understanding more about it. I didn't know about Saturn returns until well past my own, and I remember that time as such a crisis. Thanks, Ms. Julia!

All about Saturn Return

I always write for people who don't know anything about the subject, so feel free to skip this part.

First we need to know what is the Saturn Return, a planet return is when the planet returns to have the same sign that is in your birth chart, for example, Solar Return and Venus Return is normally each one year, Saturn's return is already every 28 to 30 years. But of course the Saturn Return is the most talked about of them all. And yeah, just a reminder, it normally takes 2 - 3 years to end your Saturn Return.

While it may sound intimidating, the Saturn Return can be a time of growth and transformation. Saturn is often associated with qualities like discipline, hard work, responsibility, and maturity, so this period can bring about important life changes and challenges. Therefore, even if for many this event is a very difficult part, for a small part it is something very good, because above all Saturn is about harvest.

Saturn's Return forces you to review four points in your life, so if you haven't questioned yourself about these matters and haven't done something about them, you will be even more challenged, which are them:

To be responsible for your own decisions, whether they are big or small, without looking for culprits;

Accept that life has its own pace and there are times when the only thing we can do is wait;

Faced your own shadow and knowing how you are anything but perfect or an “angel on this cursed land”;

Waked up from living a “fake” life;

Or making an analogy to better understand all this… I don't know if this exists in all countries, but adapt it to where you live, but I like to relate the Saturn Return to a large income tax return, every year those who work need to prove how much they earn and what they are spending it's equivalent to what you're saying what you earn... with that you need to have several documents as well as invoices... Those who keep all these files find it very easy to make such a statement... but who leaves it for the last minute…May even pay a fine.

During the first Saturn Return, which occurs in your late twenties, you may face issues related to your own identity and an area of your life like family, your house and career. It can be a time of self-discovery and introspection, where you face your fears, take responsibility for your choices, and make important decisions about your future. That's why you hear about the thirties crisis, people starting a college "out of nothing", ending marriages... It's a time to reap what you sowed.

The second Saturn Return, which occurs in your late fifties or early sixties, is another opportunity for reflection and re-evaluation. This can be a time to take stock of your life, align with your true values, and make changes that bring you closer to your life purpose. Just as it can be a period where you need to see how you are going to take care of your life, many have much older and weakened parents who need care, so it is a time to evaluate what needs to be done to continue with the best way possible to live, if the first Saturn Return was successful, this one will be even more successful (because Saturn likes old things you know).

Now here's the part that gets interesting... Saturn Return is an astrological event that has a lot of hype, but digging about this subject... I found that there's not as much information as I'd like, so we'll have parts that will be A LOT of my theory, so feel free to comment.

Saturn Placements

The star of our show, where Saturn is will be where you will be charged.

Saturn has already offered you more than 20 years of tests on the subject, because where your Saturn is in the Natal Chart is already an area that, even if you love it very much, you have a lot of difficulty

It’s a even funny thing to think but since you want to be soo good about where your Saturn is, is like everything you do to achieve is never good enough. But when you reach the age of 28/30, the moment of truth comes, how hard did you work to achieve your long term dreams? The signs speak of the greatest fears that need to be faced and the houses show where this battlefield will be.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° Sun Placements in Saturn Return

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° Moon Placements in Saturn Return

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° Mercury Placements in Saturn Return (draft)

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° Venus Placements in Saturn Return (draft)

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° Mars Placements in Saturn Return (draft)

Saturn Return: Saturn in Different Zodiac Signs

Saturn in Fire Signs

Fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) are known for their passion, creativity, and independent spirit. When Saturn is in a fire sign, its return may bring up issues related to self-expression, creativity, and personal goals.

A Saturn return in Aries can bring a much-needed dose of discipline to this impulsive sign, helping Aries natives to see their projects through to completion. In Leo, a Saturn return may focus on issues related to children, relationships, and creative self-expression. A Saturn return in Sagittarius may push you to reexamine your beliefs and philosophies and move beyond fanaticism.

However, Saturn's restrictive energy may also limit your creativity, pleasure, and moral compass during this time.

Saturn Return in Aries by house

The first house Saturn return in Aries is said to be the purest expression of a Saturn return in Aries, as the symbolism of Aries overlaps quite a bit with the symbolism of the first house. This return could involve becoming aware of physical aging and limitations of the physical body. However, it could also be a time to reinvent how the world sees you and try a new look, a name change, or a physical modification.

In the second house, having Saturn, the planet of restriction and limitation, could show that money does not come easily. However, Aries in the second house could show that one has the ability to get money quickly, even though they might be inclined to spend it just as quickly. A second house Saturn return in Aries could push one to get their finances in order and unlearn impulsive spending habits. It could also be an opportunity to accept one's own financial style and succeed on their own terms.

The third house is involved with communication, and having Saturn in this house could be associated with feeling like it is hard to communicate with others and make oneself understood. Aries in the third house might tend to think and talk fast, interrupting others often. At a third house Saturn return in Aries, one may need to make an intentional effort to learn how to listen to others. It could also be a time to address any aggressive communication tendencies and face the consequences of getting into fights.

In the fourth house, having Saturn could reflect feelings like one did not get the nurturing they need growing up, while Aries in this house might show that family dynamics include aggression or impulsivity. A fourth house Saturn return in Aries could push one to acknowledge how these dynamics have hurt them and seek more stability. Alternatively, one might want to claim the aggressive or impulsive tendencies from their heritage as their own and put their own spin on them.

The fifth house is associated with creativity and children, and a fifth house Saturn return in Aries could involve defining maturity on one's own terms instead of letting someone else tell them what is necessary to be an adult. Saturn in the fifth house might tend toward one’s inner child being overly serious, but Aries has a reputation for being a bit immature. This return could be an opportunity to balance the two and find a new understanding of what it means to be a mature adult.

The sixth house focuses on routine responsibilities and health, and having Saturn here can be associated with health problems or a very focused approach to staying healthy. Aries in the sixth house could show an impulsive approach to health, and a sixth house Saturn return in Aries could push one to get more serious about physically taking care of themselves. It could also give permission to listen to one's own intuition about how their body works best.

The seventh house is associated with significant one-on-one relationships, and having Saturn here suggests taking such relationships seriously. A seventh house Saturn return in Aries could manifest in working out the boundaries of significant relationships and finding more independence in them. It could also be a time for marriages or divorces.

The eighth house is linked with intense experiences like death and sexual intimacy, as well as sharing finances or property. Having Saturn here in one's birth chart can cause either an inability to get away from such difficult matters or a fear of approaching them. With impulsive Aries in the eighth house, one might experience heavy eighth house matters as seeming to blow up out of nowhere and out of their control. An eighth house Saturn return in Aries may encourage one to confront these issues proactively and deal with them before they deal with them.

The ninth house is associated with the systems of beliefs that make up society, like philosophies, legal codes, and religious doctrines, as well as higher education. A ninth house Saturn return in Aries might be an opportunity to pursue topics on one's own terms, like through independent study or a personal spiritual quest. It could also be a time to go back to school with newfound patience and perspective.

The tenth house is involved with matters of career and status, and having Saturn here could suggest that one's public role in the world is a source of concern. A tenth house Saturn return in Aries could push one to find a career that fits them better and provides more freedom. It could also be a time to confront the limits of one's body, especially if one's career involves risk or physical exertion.

The eleventh house is associated with friendships and community groups, and having Saturn here could mean that finding a peer group is an important focus of one's life. An eleventh house Saturn return in Aries could involve balancing individualism with social connections and finding ways to have things one's own way while also having others in their life.

Lastly, the twelfth house is associated with secrets and things that are out of view, and having Saturn here is a hidden structure or agenda running one's life that even they may not be aware of. A twelfth house Saturn return in Aries could push one to sit still and sort through the confusing matters of the twelfth house. It could involve trying walking meditation, long enough to figure out what is going on inside and gain insights.

Saturn Return in Leo by house

Saturn Return in Leo in the first house can affect a person's physical body and identity. Having Saturn in the first house could cause individuals to present themselves in a serious and dignified way, while also struggling with physical health issues. Similarly, Leo in the first house could make individuals flamboyant and artistic, but when paired with Saturn Return, they may feel like they need to tone down their personality to get a high-status job.

In the second house, Saturn Return in Leo can impact a person's financial situation and possessions. Individuals with Saturn in the second house may struggle to earn money, but they may have a disciplined attitude towards spending. Leo in the second house may tend to spend a lot on having fun, which can lead to overspending. Saturn Return in Leo in the second house can help individuals develop a budget and spend wisely.

The impact of Saturn Return in Leo in the third house is associated with communication. Saturn in the third house can make it challenging for individuals to communicate with others effectively. Leo in the third house can make individuals dramatic and self-absorbed in their communication style. Saturn Return in Leo in the third house can push individuals to become aware of their communication style and learn to express themselves within healthy boundaries.

In the fourth house, Saturn Return in Leo can affect home and family matters. Individuals with Saturn in the fourth house may feel like they did not get the nurturing they needed while growing up. Leo in the fourth house may reflect a family that is overly concerned with issues of status. Saturn Return in Leo in the fourth house can give individuals the confidence to move forward on a controversial path, and parents may grudgingly admit that perhaps they are on to something.

Saturn Return in Leo in the fifth house is associated with children and creativity. Individuals may feel like they need to become parents to be a proper adult. Leo in the fifth house may push individuals to pursue a creative career. Saturn Return in Leo in the fifth house can give individuals the discipline needed to make a go of it.

In the sixth house, Saturn Return in Leo can impact routine responsibilities, like day-to-day work and maintaining health. Individuals may be very focused on getting recognition for their work. Saturn Return in Leo can help individuals find recognition, but if they are not appreciated at work, they may need to find a job that suits them better.

Saturn Return in Leo in the seventh house is associated with significant one-on-one relationships, like marriage. Individuals with Saturn in the seventh house may take such relationships very seriously. Saturn Return can be associated with marriages or divorces, and a seventh house Saturn Return might be especially likely to go in this direction. Leo in the seventh house may tend to be concerned with the status part of relationship status, leading to the need to learn to follow one's own heart regardless of what others think.

In the eighth house, Saturn Return in Leo is linked with intense experiences, like death and sexual intimacy. Leo in the eighth house may tend to overshare about private matters. Saturn Return in Leo can push individuals to develop better boundaries around private matters.

Saturn Return in Leo in the ninth house is associated with systems of beliefs like philosophies, legal codes, and religious doctrines. Academia tends to be structured in a way that Leo in the ninth house would love, so a ninth house Saturn Return in Leo could involve finally getting a degree or going back to school. However, individuals may have better results if they pursue an academic path that is a true expression of their passion rather than one that they think will impress others.

In the tenth house, Saturn Return in Leo is involved with matters of career and status. Individuals may achieve prominence in their profession with hard work, but it may also be hard to feel like they have ever done enough. Saturn Return in Leo can drive individuals to examine what motivates their ambition and pursue a path that actually works for them personally.

Saturn Return in Leo in the eleventh house is associated with friendships and community groups. Individuals may find that their commitments to groups and organizations become overwhelming for them. Saturn Return in Leo can push individuals to drop commitments that they are not passionate about.

Finally, Saturn Return in Leo in the twelfth house is associated with secrets and things that are out of view. Individuals with Leo in the twelfth house may find it hard to access the flamboyant, creative energy of Leo. Saturn Return in Leo can give individuals an opportunity to acknowledge their potential in this regard and learn to be honest about their hidden side.

Saturn Return in Sagittarius by house

The first house is associated with one's physical body and identity, and having Saturn in this house can result in a serious and dignified personal presentation, as well as potential struggles with physical health. If Sagittarius is present in the first house, one may identify themselves with a religious or political commitment, and a Saturn Return in Sagittarius could cause one to question their identity without these beliefs. This house also relates to travel or contact with different cultures, and a Saturn Return in Sagittarius could lead to an emphasis on embracing one's unique cultural identity.

The second house relates to personal finance and possessions, and having Saturn in this house generally suggests that money does not come easily. Sagittarius in the second house may indicate a strong philosophy guiding spending and saving habits, but it is important to confront unrealistic views regarding money or possessions during a Saturn Return in Sagittarius. Pleasure may also become complicated, and one may need to correct imbalances related to entertainment spending and necessities during this time.

The third house is associated with communication, and having Saturn in this house can result in difficulty communicating and feeling understood. If Sagittarius is present in this house, one may find it hard to express deep thoughts in small talk and may be tempted to share unsolicited advice or divisive opinions. During a Saturn Return in Sagittarius, one may learn to stand up for themselves in conversation and acknowledge reasonable boundaries about what they can and cannot say.

The fourth house focuses on home and family matters, and having Saturn in this house can reflect a lack of nurturing during childhood. If Sagittarius is present in the fourth house, one may have emigrated from one country to another or have parents from different cultures. A Saturn Return in Sagittarius could be a time to explore cultural heritage and confront whether the beliefs one was raised with are truly fitting.

The fifth house is associated with children and creativity, and a Saturn Return in Sagittarius may lead to becoming a parent or feeling like one must become a parent to be a proper adult. Sagittarius in the fifth house also relates to pleasure and risk-taking, and a Saturn Return may prompt one to tone down excessive behavior or allow more pleasure into their life. If one is a parent during this time, they may need to balance their own preferences with other important factors.

The sixth house relates to routine responsibilities such as work and health, and having Saturn in this house can lead to a focus on maintaining good health or potential health problems. Sagittarius in the sixth house suggests an idealistic approach to habits and routines, and a Saturn Return in Sagittarius may result in finding new inspiration for organizing one's life. One may also desire work with meaning, and a Saturn Return may prompt a change from a frustrating job or finding purpose in their current work.

The seventh house is associated with relationships, and having Saturn in this house indicates a serious approach to significant one-on-one relationships like marriage. A Saturn Return in Sagittarius may lead to marriage or divorce, and Sagittarius in the seventh house suggests a desire for a partner with intellectual depth or cultural background. One may need to change beliefs about relationships to maintain a comfortable connection.

The eighth house invoeighth houselves intense experiences like death and sexual intimacy, as well as shared finances and property. Having Saturn in this house can indicate difficulty with such matters, and Sagittarius in the eighth house may lead to bold exploration of intimidating experiences. A Saturn Return in Sagittarius may prompt bringing one's belief system in alignment with profound experiences, and one may need to ensure they are not taken advantage of in financial or property matters.

The ninth house is associated with beliefs, higher education, and travel to different cultures. Having Saturn in this house may suggest a dogmatic approach to societal structures or difficulty with such structures. A Saturn Return in Sagittarius may involve questioning or clarifying beliefs, or finishing a degree or returning to school.

The tenth house relates to career and status, and having Saturn in this house suggests concern with one's public role in the world. Sagittarius in the tenth house may lead to a desire for a career with freedom and opportunities to learn. A Saturn Return in Sagittarius may prompt finding a better fit for one's job and examining beliefs about authority figures.

The eleventh house is associated with friendships and community groups, and having Saturn in this house may indicate a focus on finding a peer group. A Saturn Return in Sagittarius may lead to discovering true friends and examining one's own role in any loneliness experienced.

The twelfth house relates to secrets and hidden agendas, and having Saturn in this house suggests a hidden structure or agenda running one's life. Sagittarius in the twelfth house may involve hiding a thoughtful and joyful part of oneself, and a Saturn Return in Sagittarius may prompt acknowledging this hidden part. A great use of this time may be traveling alone to get to know oneself better.

Saturn in Earth Signs

Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) are known for their practicality, stability, and hard work. When Saturn is in an earth sign, its return may push you out of your comfort zone and encourage you to take risks.

A Saturn return in Taurus may bring up themes related to money, resources, and values. In Virgo, a Saturn return may force you to confront issues related to your health, career, and daily lifestyle. Saturn is very comfortable in Capricorn, its home sign, but even here, it can stir up themes related to career, family, order, duty, stability, and responsibility.

Saturn's energy can help you build a solid foundation for your future, but it may also feel restrictive or limiting at times.

Saturn Return in Taurus by house

In the first house, the physical body and identity are influenced by Saturn's presence, leading to a more serious and dignified presentation. With Taurus in this house, a desire for beauty could become all-consuming, especially during the Saturn return when one becomes aware of aging. However, this period could also provide an opportunity to focus on physical health and discover new ways to enhance one's current self.

In the second house, Saturn's influence on finances and possessions could lead to limited resources, but also a disciplined attitude towards what money is available. Taurus in this house is comfortable with financial affairs and has a practical approach to financial security. However, the Saturn return could trigger a shift in priorities, requiring a careful consideration of financial habits that no longer work.

The third house is associated with communication, and Saturn's presence here could make it challenging to express oneself effectively. Taurus, on the other hand, is associated with the voice, making this physical aspect of communication especially significant. During a third house Saturn return in Taurus, one may become aware of how physical quirks, such as an unusual voice or awkward body language, interfere with effective communication. This period could offer an opportunity to work on these issues and gain deeper psychological insights into how one communicates.

The fourth house is linked to home and family matters, and with Saturn's influence, one may feel a lack of nurturing during childhood. Taurus in this house desires a secure and cozy home, and during a Saturn return, one could feel an intense pull to buy the perfect house. However, one should be careful not to become obsessive about remodeling or house-hunting. Instead, this period could provide an opportunity to explore family origins and address any suppressed issues that could affect future foundations.

In the fifth house, children and creativity are associated with Saturn's return, and one may feel the pressure to become a parent to be considered a proper adult. Taurus in this house could make one a nurturing parent, but the Saturn return could also bring financial concerns to the forefront. Additionally, changes in one's body may affect how they approach attracting partners, requiring an adjustment of strategies.

The sixth house focuses on routine responsibilities, and Saturn here may indicate health problems or a strong focus on staying healthy. Taurus in this house is a reliable worker, but during the Saturn return, one may realize that their commitment to a job isn't appreciated. This could lead to changes in routine and a search for a better fit.

The seventh house is associated with significant one-on-one relationships, and Saturn's presence here suggests that one takes these relationships seriously. A Saturn return in Taurus could lead to a change in relationship status, but Taurus in this house may prioritize security over the right partner. This period could bring up the question of whether one has sacrificed too much for a relationship to work.

The eighth house is linked to intense experiences such as death, sexual intimacy, and sharing finances or property. A Saturn return in Taurus could emphasize the financial side of this house, leading to achieving financial goals or sudden financial struggles. Taurus's desire for things to be predictable and touchable could make it challenging to accept experiences that don't fit those norms.

The ninth house is associated with systems of beliefs, legal codes, religious doctrines, and higher education. Saturn's presence here could make one a dogmatic enforcer or someone continually blocked by these structures. Taurus in this house values belonging to a religious tradition, but during a Saturn return, one may be challenged to articulate their reasons for being there.

The tenth house is involved in matters of career and status, and Saturn's presence here could indicate a concern with one's public role. Taurus in this house may prioritize financial stability in their career choice. During a Saturn return, this could lead to solidifying one's commitment to a good fit or making changes if financial stability has tied them to a job they hate.

The eleventh house is associated with friendships and community groups, and Saturn's presence here could make finding a peer group an important focus. Taurus in this house may have stable friendships, and during a Saturn return, one may find their longtime commitment rewarded. However, if one has been loyal to friends without considering compatibility, this period could bring up a need to confront these relationships.

The twelfth house is associated with secrets and hidden structures, and Saturn's presence here could indicate a hidden agenda running one's life. Taurus in this house could desire security but may struggle with the more mystical experiences associated with this house. During a Saturn return, becoming open to mystery could be necessary.

Saturn Return in Virgo by house

The first house is associated with an individual's physical body and identity. With Saturn in the first house, individuals may present themselves in a serious and dignified manner, while also struggling with physical body issues. Additionally, their Saturn return in Virgo may push them to prioritize their physical health and well-being.

The second house is linked to money and possessions. With Saturn in this house, individuals may face challenges in acquiring wealth, but may have a disciplined attitude towards whatever money they do have. With Virgo in the second house, individuals may be very careful with their money, but their Saturn return may push them to confront any fears or anxieties around money and scarcity.

The third house involves communication and the way individuals express themselves. With Saturn in this house, individuals may find it challenging to communicate with others and make themselves understood. With Virgo in the third house, individuals may be precise and hold themselves and others to high standards in communication. However, their Saturn return may show them the limits of this approach and push them to become more attentive to things unsaid.

The fourth house is associated with home and family matters. With Saturn here, individuals may have felt like they did not receive the nurturing they needed growing up. With Virgo in this house, individuals may examine whether the financial lessons they learned from their family are still serving them. Additionally, their Saturn return may present an opportunity to learn domestic skills and develop routines that work for them.

The fifth house is linked to creativity and children. With Saturn in this house, individuals may feel pressure to become a parent in order to be considered a proper adult. With Virgo in this house, individuals may refine their artistic or creative skills with meticulous attention to detail. However, their Saturn return may push them to confront any perfectionistic tendencies and examine the limits of their creative abilities.

The sixth house is associated with routine responsibilities, such as maintaining one's health and work. With Saturn in this house, individuals may be very focused on staying healthy and may face health problems. With Virgo in this house, individuals may believe that putting in effort gets results, but their Saturn return may push them to confront whether their efforts are actually getting them the results they desire or whether they need to make changes.

The seventh house is linked to significant one-on-one relationships, such as marriage. With Saturn in this house, individuals may take such relationships very seriously. With Virgo in this house, individuals may look for a practical partner to balance out their dreamy nature. Their Saturn return may test how well they are handling this dynamic in their relationships and may push them to learn to take care of themselves more instead of relying too heavily on their partner.

The eighth house is associated with intense experiences such as sexual intimacy or death. With Saturn in this house, individuals may have an inability to get away from such difficult matters or a fear of approaching them. With Virgo in the eighth house, individuals may be very good at handling the technical details of complicated financial agreements. However, their Saturn return may push them to examine any assumptions they hold around mystical experiences and let go of some of their need for control.

The ninth house is linked to societal structures such as religion, philosophy, and higher education. With Saturn in this house, individuals may be either an especially dogmatic enforcer of such structures or someone who seems to be continually blocked by them. With Virgo in this house, individuals may be devoted to the rules of whatever system they are affiliated with, but their Saturn return may show them the consequences of enforcing rules in an overly rigid way.

The tenth house is associated with career and status. With Saturn in this house, individuals may feel that their public role in the world is a source of concern for them. With Virgo in this house, individuals may enjoy a career that allows them to use specific technical skills. Their Saturn return may provide recognition for their progress, but may also push them to confront any frustration with an overly critical authority figure.

The eleventh house is linked to friendships and community groups. With Saturn in this house, individuals may feel shut out of social connections early on in life, but may find commitments to groups and organizations overwhelming later on. With Virgo in this house, individuals may be drawn to volunteering for causes or organizations that matter to them. Their Saturn return may present challenges if their focused effort contributes to their organization achieving a success so big that it puts them out of a job.

The twelfth house is associated with secrets and hidden anxieties. With Saturn in this house, individuals may have a hidden structure or agenda running their life that even they may not be aware of. With Virgo in the twelfth house, individuals may keep a lot of worries to themselves. Their Saturn return may make it harder than usual to keep a lid on their anxieties, but may also provide an opportunity for reflection and self-organization.

Saturn Return in Capricorn by house

In the first house, Saturn's placement is associated with an individual's physical body and their identity. With Saturn in the first house, individuals may present themselves in a serious and dignified way, but may also struggle with a problem involving their physical body. Capricorn in the first house could have a similar effect of making individuals look wise beyond their years, allowing them to grow into the image they portray at their first house Saturn return in Capricorn. However, individuals might find that getting old is a bit different from what they expected once they get to this critical point, and having new insights that change their identity in some way could be jarring. Nevertheless, being adaptable can make them stronger.

In the second house, Saturn's placement focuses on money and possessions. In general, having Saturn in the second house could show that money does not come easily to individuals, but they might have a disciplined attitude toward whatever money they do have. With Capricorn in the second house, individuals may be careful about their finances, and their second house Saturn return in Capricorn could be a time when their saving pays off, allowing them to afford a major purchase they have been eyeing. However, they might also tend to think they have less money than they actually do. If their attitude toward their finances tends to fixate on scarcity, they may run the risk of making their fears come true at their second house Saturn return in Capricorn. Being grateful for whatever they have can help them expand their resources.

In the third house, Saturn's placement is involved with communication. Having Saturn in the third house, regardless of its sign, can be associated with feeling like it is hard for individuals to communicate with the people around them and make themselves understood. If they have Capricorn in their third house, they may be a person of few words. This might be at least partly due to an ability to clearly see the main points of any subject. Their third house Saturn return in Capricorn could be a time when they really hit their stride in explaining things to others. They might also be overly focused on being proper in their communication, to the point they are unable to express things that really matter to them. Another potential danger in this approach is that they could miss out on something important that someone else is trying to tell them because they don’t present their case in quite the right way. A situation of this sort could be significant at their third house Saturn return in Capricorn.

In the fourth house, Saturn's placement focuses on home and family matters. In general, having Saturn in the fourth house can reflect that individuals felt like they did not get the nurturing they need growing up. With Capricorn in the fourth house, their family may have prioritized ambition over an emotional connection. Their fourth house Saturn return in Capricorn could make them very aware of the soft skills they missed learning on their climb to the top. That said, Capricorn in the fourth house can also indicate a family that has a basically secure structure, even if it is not always the warmest family. Their fourth house Saturn return in Capricorn may nudge them to help their family when they need it – or their family might turn out to support them in some way.

In the fifth house, Saturn's placement is associated with children and creativity. Some people become parents at their Saturn returns, and a fifth house Saturn return could be especially likely to go in this direction. Individuals might feel like they have to become a parent in order to be a proper adult. Capricorn in the fifth house could make a serious effort to bring order to something chaotic, like children or the creative process. While this might sound like a doomed quest, they could potentially succeed in implementing their artistic vision at their fifth house Saturn return in Capricorn. If they are raising or working closely with children at their fifth house Saturn return in Capricorn, they may be challenged to weigh their idea of how things should go against what the children in front of them actually show them that they need. A truly sound structure must pass the test of messy reality.

In the sixth house, Saturn's placement focuses on an individual's routine responsibilities, like the day-to-day part of their work and what they must do to maintain their health. Saturn in the sixth house can be associated with health problems, but it might just show that individuals are very focused on staying healthy even if they don’t have an illness to be concerned about. With Capricorn in the sixth house, individuals may push themselves hard for productivity in their work and daily routines. Their focused effort could bring them to a significant achievement at their sixth house Saturn return in Capricorn, but they might also experience burnout if they have been pursuing their goals in a way that is not sustainable. Alternately, they might have a tendency to slack off, especially if they were burned by a parent or other authority figure who pushed them too hard when they were growing up. In this case, their sixth house Saturn return in Capricorn could help them find their own rhythm for getting things done.

In the seventh house, Saturn's placement is associated with significant one-on-one relationships including but not limited to marriage. Having Saturn here natally can suggest that individuals take such relationships very seriously. Saturn returns can be associated with marriages or divorces, and a seventh house Saturn return might be especially likely to go in this direction of changing their relationship status. If they have Capricorn in their seventh house, they may want a partner who can bring stability to their life. At their seventh house Saturn return in Capricorn, rushing into marriage for the sake of settling down could be tempting. Marrying now might not be wrong, but they should be aware of what they are doing and why. If they’ve already been in a committed relationship for some time, though, their seventh house Saturn return in Capricorn could be a time when they question whether they are getting all of the security they need from their relationship. They might feel like they have to choose between emotional warmth and financial stability. Perhaps they can ultimately have some of both, but they may need to develop the courage to ask for it out loud.

In the eighth house, Saturn's placement is linked with intense experiences like death and sexual intimacy. Boundaries tend to blur in these extreme situations, so the eighth house also handles situations of sharing finances or property. It can even take in paranormal experiences where the basic structures of the physical world do not perform as expected. Having Saturn here in an individual's birth chart can cause either an inability to get away from such difficult matters or a fear of approaching them. With Capricorn in their eighth house, individuals may have a practical attitude toward the financial commitments they make with others. However, it might be hard for them to acknowledge how emotional they really feel about their money and their possessions. If there is a major imbalance here, their eighth house Saturn return in Capricorn could bring it out. Also, Capricorn in the eighth house could potentially be refreshingly pragmatic about death. In that case, they might as well use the energy of their eighth house Saturn return in Capricorn to plan things like their will. They may even be called upon to handle someone else’s estate.

In the ninth house, Saturn's placement is associated with the systems of beliefs that make up society, like philosophies, legal codes, and religious doctrines. It is also linked to higher education. A person with Saturn in the ninth house, in general, might be either an especially dogmatic enforcer of such structures or someone who seems to be continually blocked by them. The organized nature of Capricorn overall fits well with the vibe of the ninth house. Individuals could achieve an academic degree they have been working toward at their ninth house Saturn return in Capricorn. Their academic journey might tend to emphasize effort and professional ambition rather than passion, and this is fine as long as it works for them. A potential problem with Capricorn in the ninth house could be a tendency to emphasize the letter of the law over the spirit of the law. If they do this, they might get called on it at their ninth house Saturn return in Capricorn. They should embrace opportunities to restructure their thinking in a way that makes it stronger.

In the tenth house, Saturn's placement is involved with matters of career and status. Having Saturn in the tenth house natally could suggest that an individual's public role in the world is a source of concern for them. With hard work, they may achieve prominence in their profession, but it may also be hard to feel like they have ever done enough. The symbolism of the sign of Capricorn overlaps substantially with the symbolism of the tenth house, so a tenth house Saturn return in Capricorn could have a double dose of the basic Saturn return in Capricorn themes. Professional ambition could definitely be a huge focus of a tenth house Saturn return in Capricorn. They may be able to achieve a career goal they have been working toward for a long time. However, any goal they achieve at their tenth house Saturn return in Capricorn might have to truly be their goal. If they were pushed into a particular career by a parent or other authority figure, they may wind up questioning it at their tenth house Saturn return in Capricorn.

In the eleventh house, Saturn's placement is associated with friendships and community groups. In general, having Saturn in the eleventh house could mean that finding a peer group is an important focus of an individual's life. Early on, they may feel shut out of social connections, like they do not come easily to them. Once they hit their stride, though, they may find that their commitments to groups and organizations become overwhelming for them. With Capricorn in their eleventh house, they could be drawn to friends who are ambitious and going places in life. In a best-case scenario, they might find at their eleventh house Saturn return in Capricorn that their friends are able to cheer them on as they pursue their goals. However, if they feel obligated to put up a good front for their friends, they may feel isolated at their eleventh house Saturn return in Capricorn. Most journeys toward success include both ups and downs, and relationships where they can’t be honest about their challenges might not last.

In the twelfth house, Saturn's placement is associated with secrets and things that are out of view. Saturn represents structure, so Saturn in the twelfth house is a hidden structure, a hidden agenda running an individual's life that even they may not be aware of. If they have Capricorn in their twelfth house, they might secretly be more traditional than the image they portray to others. This could especially be the case if they also have Aquarius Rising, as many people with Capricorn in the twelfth house do. At their twelfth house Saturn return in Capricorn, circumstances may push them to become more honest with themselves and others about the full complexity of their personality. On the plus side, they might discover they are more practical and organized than they think they are.

Saturn in Air Signs

Air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) are known for their intellectual curiosity, communication skills, and social savvy. When Saturn is in an air sign, its return may challenge your thinking, communication style, and relationships.

A Saturn return in Gemini may push you to find emotional and mental balance by connecting to your truth. Saturn's exaltation in Libra makes this placement more harmonious, but it can still bring up issues related to partnership, finances, and independence. In Aquarius, Saturn may encourage you to question conventional wisdom and embrace your individuality.

Saturn's energy can help you refine your thinking and communication skills, but it may also create obstacles in your relationships or career.

Saturn Return in Gemini by house

In the first house, Saturn return in Gemini may lead to a wardrobe makeover or health issues. People with Saturn in the first house tend to present themselves in a serious and dignified manner. However, individuals with Gemini in the first house can tend to look younger than they are, and this may result in an awkward combination with Saturn in the first house. A first house Saturn return in Gemini may lead to purging one's wardrobe for a makeover. Individuals may also discover a health problem during this period, and the mental aspect of Gemini can be powerful.

In the second house, Saturn return in Gemini may test whether an individual has spread themselves too thin or needs a side hustle. The second house is associated with money and possessions, and having Saturn in the second house may indicate that money does not come easily to an individual. However, individuals with Gemini in the second house may be associated with multiple income streams, and they may be able to keep track of complicated financial arrangements. A second house Saturn return in Gemini may push individuals to simplify their lives by picking one income stream and getting better at it.

In the third house, the symbolism overlaps quite a bit with that of the sign of Gemini. A third house Saturn return in Gemini may push individuals to confront some of their basic strategies for interacting with others. They may start to notice things that seem small, like whether they interrupt or are interrupted by others in conversation. However, working on these issues could help individuals develop more fulfilling connections.

In the fourth house, Saturn return in Gemini may push individuals to look at whether their home life worked well for them growing up. The fourth house is associated with home and family matters, and having Saturn in the fourth house may reflect that an individual did not get the nurturing they needed growing up. Gemini in the fourth house could reflect that there was a lot of activity and conversation in an individual's family life when they were growing up. A fourth house Saturn return in Gemini may push individuals to nurture themselves and build a home life that suits their needs.

In the fifth house, Saturn return in Gemini may involve becoming a parent or dealing with childhood memories. The fifth house is associated with children and creativity, and some people become parents during their Saturn returns. A fifth house Saturn return could make individuals feel like they have to become a parent to be a proper adult. Individuals with Gemini in the fifth house may have common childhood experiences like learning to get along with siblings and attending school. A fifth house Saturn return in Gemini may push individuals to make things better for their children than they experienced in their childhood.

In the sixth house, Saturn return in Gemini may help individuals nail down their system for getting things done. The sixth house focuses on routine responsibilities like work and maintaining health, and individuals with Gemini in the sixth house may be great at multitasking. A sixth house Saturn return in Gemini may be a time when individuals really nail down their system for getting things done, and they might even become the next organizational guru.

In the seventh house, Saturn return in Gemini may lead to changing relationship status or finding a mate who is versatile enough to keep up with them. The seventh house is associated with significant one-on-one relationships including marriage, and having Saturn here natally can suggest that such relationships are taken very seriously. A seventh house Saturn return in Gemini may be a time when individuals find a mate who is versatile enough to keep up with them. However, individuals may also struggle with dynamics similar to sibling rivalry in their adult relationships.

In the eighth house, Saturn return in Gemini may involve developing the courage to speak up about something they have shame about or having stronger boundaries in how they share resources with others. The eighth house is linked with intense experiences like death and sexual intimacy. Individuals with Saturn here in their birth chart may find it challenging to approach difficult matters. A twelfth house Saturn return in Gemini could involve developing the courage to speak up about something they have shame about, which may help others as well as themselves. Alternatively, it may push individuals to have stronger boundaries in how they share resources with others.

In the ninth house, Saturn return in Gemini may involve confronting political or religious turmoil. The ninth house is associated with the systems of beliefs that make up society, like philosophies and religious doctrines. Individuals with Saturn in the ninth house may be either an especially dogmatic enforcer of such structures or someone who seems to be continually blocked by them. A ninth house Saturn return in Gemini may be a time when individuals confront the political or religious turmoil they grew up with.

In the tenth house, Saturn return in Gemini may push individuals to become more consistent. The tenth house is involved with matters of career and status. Having Saturn in the tenth house natally could suggest that an individual's public role in the world is a source of concern for them. With hard work, they may achieve prominence in their profession, but it may also be hard to feel like they have ever done enough. Individuals with Gemini in the tenth house could excel in a career that involves communicating and interacting with others.

In the eleventh house, Saturn return in Gemini may push individuals to identify who their real friends are. The eleventh house is associated with friendships and community groups. Individuals with Saturn in the eleventh house may feel shut out of social connections, but they may find their commitments to groups and organizations overwhelming. Individuals with Gemini in the eleventh house may have a social life that is broad but not necessarily deep. An eleventh house Saturn return in Gemini may push individuals to identify who their real friends are when the going gets tough.

In the twelfth house, Saturn return in Gemini may involve airing a personal or family secret or developing stronger boundaries in the way they talk with people. The twelfth house is associated with secrets and things that are out of view. Individuals with Saturn here in their birth chart may have a hidden agenda running their life that even they may not be aware of. A twelfth house Saturn return in Gemini may be a time when individuals finally get the courage to air a personal or family secret that has been holding them back, or it may push individuals to develop stronger boundaries in the way they talk with people, especially if they have been careless with the secrets of others in the years leading up to their Saturn return.

Saturn Return in Libra by house

In the first house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve presenting oneself in a serious and dignified way. Those with this placement may become more aware of their physical body and identity, and may feel that they need to take better care of themselves. They may also struggle with physical issues, and this placement can be a time of learning to take care of oneself.

In the second house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve learning to advocate for oneself financially. Those with this placement may find it difficult to make money, but they may have a disciplined attitude toward whatever money they do have. They may also have a desire to make others happy, but they will need to learn to prioritize their own needs when it comes to financial issues.

In the third house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve finding a balance between expressing oneself and maintaining harmony with others. Those with this placement may struggle with communicating with those around them and making themselves understood. They may also feel inhibited in what they say, leading to a desire to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. This placement can be a time of learning to find a point of balance where they can express what really matters as respectfully as they can, even if not everyone is happy in the moment.

In the fourth house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve dealing with family tension or finding comfort at home. Those with this placement may have felt like they did not get the nurturing they needed growing up or may have grown up in a family that put a priority on looking good. This placement can be a time of discovering what makes them comfortable and arranging their current home life accordingly.

In the fifth house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve changing one's approach to romance or becoming a parent. Those with this placement may be too focused on the physical appearance of prospective partners and need to pay more attention to other qualities. They may also feel like they have to become a parent in order to be a proper adult. This placement can be a time of learning to change their approach to romance or parenthood and finding a balance between their own desires and the needs of others.

In the sixth house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve discovering a routine that works or becoming more grounded in reality. Those with this placement may have been pursuing a routine in an overly rigid way and need to allow their real needs to assert themselves. They may also consider physical beauty to be an important marker of their physical health and spend a lot of time maintaining their appearance. This placement can be a time of discovering a way of arranging their routine that truly works for them, grounded in reality.

In the seventh house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve facing gaps between ideal and actual relationships. Those with this placement may take significant one-on-one relationships very seriously and may struggle with gaps between their ideal relationship and how it actually functions in the real world. This placement is often associated with marriages or divorces and can be a time of significant change in one's relationship status.

In the eighth house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve negotiating shared resources or facing trouble with unrealistic ideals. Those with this placement may be optimistic and assume the best in people, leading to trouble if others do not share the same ideals. This placement can be a time of negotiating shared resources or facing trouble with unrealistic ideals when it comes to one's finances or possessions.

In the ninth house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve facing legal or philosophical issues. Those with this placement may become gloomy about the realization that life does not seem to be fair or may need to decide what they must accept as unchangeable and what they can work on to make the world a more just place. This placement can be a time of facing legal or philosophical issues related to one's beliefs or higher education.

In the tenth house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve achieving career goals or dealing with dysfunctional authority. Those with this placement may feel like their public role in the world is a source of concern and may struggle with feeling like they have not done enough. They may also be drawn to a career that gives them an opportunity to put things in order and make them look good. This placement can be a time of achieving career goals or dealing with dysfunctional authority when it comes to one's public role.

In the eleventh house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve confronting unfair dynamics in friendships or deepening commitment to groups. Those with this placement may feel shut out of social connections early on but may find that their commitments to groups and organizations become overwhelming later in life. This placement can be a time of deepening commitment to a friend group or organization, or confronting unfair dynamics in friendships or other group commitments.

In the twelfth house, the Saturn Return in Libra may involve getting in touch with a sensitive side or facing secrecy in close relationships. Those with this placement may have a hidden agenda running their life that even they may not be aware of, and this placement is often associated with secrets and things that are out of view. This placement can be a time of getting in touch with a sensitive side or facing secrecy in close relationships and learning to be honest with oneself about the problems caused by trying to make everybody happy.

Saturn Return in Aquarius by house

The first house is associated with an individual's physical body and identity. Having Saturn in the first house can cause an individual to present themselves in a serious and dignified way, leading to a struggle with a problem involving their physical body. However, if Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may enjoy having a unique appearance, but this could become problematic when trying to achieve certain goals. This house's impact suggests a need for individuals to balance their individuality with their goals, finding ways to express themselves while working towards their aspirations.

The second house is linked with money and possessions. Having Saturn in the second house can indicate that money does not come easily, leading to a disciplined attitude towards whatever finances an individual has. On the other hand, if Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may have a logical attitude towards their resources and may be willing to try experimental investments. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to balance their logical approach to finances with a grounded sense of reality, finding ways to make sound investments while not getting carried away by their innovative ideas.

The third house is associated with communication. Having Saturn in the third house can cause difficulty in making oneself understood. If Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may be comfortable using technology to communicate, which could lead to oversharing. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to develop better communication skills, finding ways to express themselves clearly while being mindful of what they share with others.

The fourth house deals with home and family matters. Having Saturn in the fourth house can make an individual feel they did not get enough nurturing during their upbringing. However, if Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may come from a quirky and independent family. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to acknowledge the nurturing they lacked in their upbringing, finding ways to embrace their roots while also developing healthy boundaries.

The fifth house is associated with children and creativity. Having Saturn in the fifth house can make an individual feel they need to become a parent to be a proper adult. If Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may not be satisfied with traditional ways of dating, mating, and having children, leading to a desire to innovate. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to balance their desire for creativity and individuality with their responsibilities as parents, finding ways to express themselves while also nurturing their children.

The sixth house focuses on routine responsibilities and staying healthy. Having Saturn in the sixth house can indicate a disciplined attitude towards one's routine and health. If Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may have a clear idea of how things like their routine and diet should function, which could lead to dogmatic behavior. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to find a balance between their innovative ideas for health and routine while also being mindful of their bodies' needs and limitations.

The seventh house deals with significant one-on-one relationships. Having Saturn in the seventh house can suggest taking these relationships seriously. If Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may prefer to organize their relationships on their own terms. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to work on their communication skills, finding ways to express their unique views while also ensuring their partners are on the same page.

The eighth house is linked with intense experiences such as death and sexual intimacy. Having Saturn in the eighth house can cause fear or an inability to approach such experiences. If Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may have a desire to share their finances or property with others in the name of universal brotherhood. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to find a balance between their desire to share and their need for privacy, finding ways to express their ideals while also being mindful of potential exploitation.

The ninth house is associated with beliefs and higher education. Having Saturn in the ninth house can make an individual dogmatic or blocked by societal structures. If Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may have a gift for tracing societal ills to flaws in philosophical underpinnings. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to find a balance between their desire for change and their respect for established structures, finding ways to express their ideas while also being mindful of others' beliefs.

The tenth house deals with career and public status. Having Saturn in the tenth house can suggest concern for one's public role in the world. If Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may be drawn to a career involving innovation and technology. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to find a balance between their desire to innovate and their need to adhere to established structures, finding ways to express their unique ideas while also being mindful of their responsibilities.

The eleventh house is associated with friendships and community groups. Having Saturn in the eleventh house can mean finding a peer group is an important focus. If Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may fall out with a bad crowd that discourages their individuality or solidify their commitment to a community that shares their vision for improving the world. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to find a balance between their desire for acceptance and their need for individuality, finding ways to express themselves while also finding like-minded individuals.

The twelfth house deals with secrets and things that are out of view. Having Saturn in the twelfth house can indicate a hidden agenda running an individual's life. If Aquarius is present in this house, an individual may conceal their unique quirks, but may need to open up to build select groups that understand them. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to find ways to express themselves even in the face of potential criticism or rejection, finding like-minded individuals who understand and accept them.

Saturn in Water Signs

Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) are known for their emotional depth, intuition, and sensitivity. When Saturn is in a water sign, its return may challenge you to confront your fears, deepen your emotional maturity, and face your shadows.

A Saturn return in Cancer may manifest as emotional heaviness or the need to build better boundaries. In Scorpio, a Saturn return can be a time of transformation and spiritual rebirth. In Pisces, Saturn may push you to question your beliefs and find a path to living out your dreams.

Saturn's energy can be intense in water signs, but it can also help you develop greater emotional resilience and spiritual depth.

Saturn Return in Cancer by house

The first house is associated with an individual's physical body and identity, and Saturn Return in Cancer in this house can bring about opportunities to formalize one's role as a caregiver. People with Saturn in the first house tend to present themselves in a serious and dignified way, and those with Cancer in the first house are often seen as good at taking care of others. However, at the time of the Saturn Return, it is important to set boundaries and prevent others from taking advantage of one's kindness.

The second house is related to money and possessions. For someone with Saturn in the second house, money does not come easily, but they may have a disciplined attitude toward whatever money they do have. Having Cancer in the second house may lead to seeking emotional security through material possessions. Saturn Return in Cancer in this house can challenge this habit and push individuals to find security in other ways. If someone has been able to handle money in an emotionally balanced way, this Saturn Return can bring financial stability, which can help them achieve their goals.

The third house is associated with communication. Those with Saturn in the third house may find it hard to communicate with the people around them and make themselves understood. With Cancer in the third house, emotions could be a big part of communication. Combined with the blockages that Saturn in the third house can bring, this could come out as being afraid to say anything because you might hurt someone's feelings. At the time of the Saturn Return in Cancer in the third house, it is important to become more conscious of how emotions are used in communication.

The fourth house is related to home and family matters. Those with Saturn in the fourth house may have felt like they did not get the nurturing they needed growing up. With Saturn in Cancer, in general, the vibes are similar. A Saturn Return in Cancer in the fourth house could be an opportunity to examine childhood emotional wounds. This Saturn Return can also bring an opportunity to buy a home or settle down in a stable residence.

The fifth house is linked with children and creativity. For someone with Saturn in the fifth house, a fifth house Saturn Return in Cancer could push them to negotiate boundaries between self-care and caring for others if the possibility of having children is on their mind. This Saturn Return can also help them be more honest about what they want in dating and romance.

The sixth house is associated with daily responsibilities and health. If someone has Cancer in the sixth house, they may be drawn to a job that provides security or a nurturing environment even if it has other drawbacks. Saturn Return in Cancer in this house may bring attention to the bargains made for security and nurturing environments. It can also affect habits like diet and exercise and encourage one to nurture themselves more kindly.

The seventh house is related to significant relationships. Saturn Return in Cancer in the seventh house can push individuals to look at what they have given in exchange for security in relationships. They may also need to learn to open up emotionally in their relationships, even though they might feel like revealing their emotions would threaten the stability of their relationships.

The eighth house is linked with intense experiences like death and sexual intimacy. With Saturn in the eighth house, individuals may have an inability to get away from such difficult matters or a fear of approaching them. Cancer in the eighth house might tend to be emotional about heavy stuff, but Saturn there could block the release of emotions. At the time of the Saturn Return in Cancer in the eighth house, it is important to feel the feelings about significant events and trauma in order to move forward.

The ninth house is associated with beliefs and travel. With Cancer in the ninth house, individuals might be sentimentally attached to a religious or political affiliation that they associate with their family heritage. Saturn Return in Cancer in this house could push individuals to confront whether their beliefs work for them personally and try out new approaches.

The tenth house is related to career and status. If someone has Cancer in the tenth house, they may be drawn to a profession where they help or nurture others. Saturn Return in Cancer in this house may bring opportunities to find a profession that involves helping or nurturing others. The hard part about the helping professions is often knowing when to stop helping, and at the time of the Saturn Return in Cancer in the tenth house, individuals might learn important lessons about professional boundaries.

The eleventh house is associated with friendships and community groups. With Saturn in the eleventh house, individuals may feel shut out of social connections, like they do not come easily to them. Once they hit their stride, though, their commitments to groups and organizations may become overwhelming for them. A Saturn Return in Cancer in the eleventh house can help them discover whether their commitments to these groups are a good fit for them.

The twelfth house is associated with secrets and things that are out of view. Those with Saturn in the twelfth house may have a hidden agenda running their life that they may not be aware of. With Cancer in the twelfth house, they might tend to hide their sensitivity. At the time of the Saturn Return in Cancer in the twelfth house, it is important to become aware of emotional triggers and achieve powerful insights.

Saturn Return in Scorpio by house

The first house is associated with a person's physical body and identity. With Scorpio in the first house, a person may have trouble viewing an illness or injury as just a random occurrence. Instead, they may feel compelled to look for deeper meanings in any physical challenges they experience at this time. The presence of Saturn in the first house may also cause a person to present themselves in a serious and dignified way.

In the second house, Scorpio's influence may cause a person to view their money and possessions not only as ends in themselves but also as the means to the end of getting what they want emotionally. This can lead to issues with control and manipulation in relationships. During the second house Saturn Return in Scorpio, a person may be forced to confront these issues and consider whether they are sabotaging themselves financially because they secretly think people will be more sympathetic to them if they are in need.

The third house is associated with communication, and having Saturn in this house can make it hard for a person to communicate with others and make themselves understood. With Scorpio in the third house, a person may either love or hate shallow small talk. Getting stuck at either extreme of that spectrum could lead to feelings of loneliness at the third house Saturn Return in Scorpio. A person may need to work to balance their need for depth with the limitations of the connections that others are able to give them.

The fourth house is focused on home and family matters. With Scorpio in the fourth house, intense emotions may have been a prominent part of a person's home life while they were growing up. The presence of Saturn in this house can complicate matters and tend to suppress open emotional displays. During the fourth house Saturn Return in Scorpio, a person may be pushed to consider whether the strategies they learned in their upbringing for coping with emotions are still working for them. If there was a family secret that couldn't be discussed openly, they may need to finally deal with it.

The fifth house is associated with children and creativity. With Scorpio in the fifth house, a person may feel like they have to become a parent to be a proper adult. However, Scorpio tends to like to control things, and children tend to resist being controlled. During the fifth house Saturn Return in Scorpio, a person may need to consider whether they are pushing their child in a particular direction in an attempt to meet their own emotional needs.

The sixth house focuses on routine responsibilities and health, and the presence of Saturn in this house can be associated with health problems or a focus on staying healthy. With Scorpio in the sixth house, a person may be capable of precision and insight in their work, and they could use these qualities to accomplish something significant at their sixth house Saturn return in Scorpio. However, they might also want their work to be meaningful, and they could reach their limit with a job that seems to be pointless.

The seventh house is associated with significant one-on-one relationships, including but not limited to marriage. With Scorpio in the seventh house, a person may crave relationships with people who bring intensity to their life. However, the presence of Saturn in this house can complicate matters, and a person might realize that an exciting partner is not well suited to bring them the security they also want. During the seventh house Saturn Return in Scorpio, a person may feel like they have to choose once and for all between intensity and safety in a significant relationship.

The eighth house is linked with intense experiences like death and sexual intimacy. With Scorpio in the eighth house, a person may be tempted to fight against a change that they know on some level is necessary. However, relinquishing control could show them possibilities they would not have thought of on their own during the eighth house Saturn Return in Scorpio.

The ninth house is associated with the systems of beliefs that make up society, like philosophies, legal codes, and religious doctrines. With brooding Scorpio in the ninth house, a person's view of the world may tend to emphasize the dark side of life. During the ninth house Saturn Return in Scorpio, a person may be challenged to learn what they need to learn from difficult situations without getting destroyed by them.

The tenth house is involved with matters of career and status. With Scorpio in the tenth house, a person may be drawn to a career where they get to solve difficult problems. However, the presence of Saturn in this house can make it hard for a person to feel like they have ever done enough. During the tenth house Saturn Return in Scorpio, a person may have to balance their desire for security with their desire to feel like they are making a difference.

The eleventh house is associated with friendships and community groups. With Saturn in the eleventh house, a person may feel shut out of social connections early on. With Scorpio in the eleventh house, a person may be deeply loyal to their friends and other associations. During the eleventh house Saturn Return in Scorpio, a person may need to be honest with themselves about whether others are as committed to them as they are to those connections.

The twelfth house is associated with secrets and things that are out of view. With Saturn in the twelfth house, a person may have a hidden structure or hidden agenda running their life that they may not even be aware of. With Scorpio in the twelfth house, a person's secrets could be successfully hidden even from themselves. During the twelfth house Saturn Return in Scorpio, a person may be forced to confront a deeply repressed trauma or realize that they need to make more space for rest and contemplation in their life.

Saturn Return in Pisces by house

The first house is associated with an individual's physical body and identity. With Saturn in the first house, individuals may feel a struggle with a problem involving their physical body. Pisces in the first house could cause individuals to appear dreamy and imaginative, but this could cause them to struggle with finding a sense of self. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to balance their individuality with their identity, finding ways to express themselves while also being grounded in reality.

The second house is linked with money and possessions. Having Saturn in the second house can indicate that money does not come easily to individuals, leading to a disciplined attitude towards whatever finances they have. If Pisces is present in this house, individuals may struggle with being realistic about their finances, leading to an emotional attachment to possessions. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to balance their emotional attachment to possessions with a grounded sense of reality, finding ways to make sound investments while also being mindful of their finances.

The third house is associated with communication. Having Saturn in the third house can indicate difficulty in making oneself understood. If Pisces is present in this house, individuals may have a talent for creative communication, but may struggle with being understood by others. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to develop better communication skills, finding ways to express themselves clearly while also being mindful of others' perspectives.

The fourth house deals with home and family matters. Having Saturn in the fourth house can indicate that individuals did not receive the nurturing they needed growing up. If Pisces is present in this house, individuals may have grown up in a chaotic or artistic environment. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to acknowledge the nurturing they missed out on while also developing healthy boundaries.

The fifth house is associated with children and creativity. Having Saturn in the fifth house can cause individuals to feel they need to become a parent to be a proper adult. If Pisces is present in this house, individuals may struggle with making practical decisions about their creative endeavors. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to balance their desire for creative expression with practical considerations, finding ways to express themselves while also being mindful of their responsibilities.

The sixth house focuses on routine responsibilities and staying healthy. Having Saturn in the sixth house can indicate a disciplined attitude towards one's routine and health. If Pisces is present in this house, individuals may struggle with being realistic about their health, leading to a tendency to avoid facing responsibilities. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to balance their creative approach to routine and health with a grounded sense of reality, finding ways to make healthy choices while also being mindful of their limitations.

The seventh house deals with significant one-on-one relationships. Having Saturn in the seventh house can suggest taking these relationships very seriously. If Pisces is present in this house, individuals may struggle with being realistic about their relationships, leading to an emotional attachment to their partners. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to work on their communication skills, finding ways to express their unique views while also ensuring their partners are on the same page.

The eighth house is linked with intense experiences such as death and sexual intimacy. Having Saturn in the eighth house can cause fear or an inability to approach such experiences. If Pisces is present in this house, individuals may struggle with being realistic about their finances and shared property, leading to an emotional attachment to possessions. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to balance their emotional attachment to possessions with a grounded sense of reality, finding ways to express their ideals while also being mindful of potential exploitation.

The ninth house is associated with beliefs and higher education. Having Saturn in the ninth house can make individuals dogmatic or blocked by societal structures. If Pisces is present in this house, individuals may struggle with being realistic about their beliefs, leading to an emotional attachment to their ideas. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to find a balance between their desire for change and their respect for established structures, finding ways to express their ideas while also being mindful of others' beliefs.

The tenth house deals with career and public status. Having Saturn in the tenth house can suggest concern for one's public role in the world. If Pisces is present in this house, individuals may struggle with being realistic about their career goals, leading to an emotional attachment to their professional aspirations. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to find a balance between their emotional attachment to their career goals and a grounded sense of reality, finding ways to express their unique ideas while also being mindful of their responsibilities.

The eleventh house is associated with friendships and community groups. Having Saturn in the eleventh house can mean finding a peer group is an important focus. If Pisces is present in this house, individuals may struggle with being realistic about their goals for community involvement, leading to an emotional attachment to their vision for a better world. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to find a balance between their desire for acceptance and their need for individuality, finding ways to express themselves while also finding like-minded individuals.

The twelfth house deals with secrets and things that are out of view. Having Saturn in the twelfth house can indicate a hidden agenda running an individual's life. If Pisces is present in this house, individuals may struggle with being realistic about their need for privacy, leading to an emotional attachment to their hidden parts. This house's impact suggests that individuals need to find ways to express themselves even in the face of potential criticism or rejection, finding like-minded individuals who understand and accept them.

Sources:

Sailor Saturn Render

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Ultimate Guide to Surviving Saturn Return

Retorno de Saturno: Descubra a idade crítica da sua vida - Marcelo Levi

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