#We fucking stayed there in season 8 because he was sure nobody would miss him and I stayed with him.

[xprince-of-hellx]

I wish life would be kinder to people.

[spencerhotchner]

Alternative {spencer reid}

Chapter 1 

summary: Since quarentine was announced, Y/N decided to rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds. On a lonely night she wished she could be in that universe instead of this. What happens when she wakes up in 2008 in Quantico?

warnings: angst, a very confused reader, regular cm stuff and my grammar (if you find anything else pls lmk

word count: 2k

a/n: i have this idea while watching a movie about parallel universes and all, so i just wanted to try this out. it will be a 10 parts series! im not really sure about this, i think i kinda hate it but im posting it anyways lmao. i hope you gonna enjoy!

series masterlist

part 1 | part 2

You woke up feeling dizzy and with a major headache. At first you thought it was because you drank a whole lot of wine last night but then you saw yourself in a room you never saw before. You stoop up quickly trying to understand where you were and how did you end up there. You were sure that you have never been in this place before, and it was scaring you that you showed up in there.

There was a mirror nailed to the wall in from of you almost forcing you to look at your own body, that made you notice that you were still wearing the same clothes from last night, but you weren’t home. Not being home was odd given by the fact you stayed there with your family and two friends you invited over, since there’s a whole freaking pandemic going on and you for sure did not want to get sick or get other people sick. 

“Did I get kidnapped?” you think out loud. “No, I just watch too much Criminal Minds.” you tell yourself, trying to calm down.

You reach for the face mask placed on the nightstand, getting ready to leave this random place and go home. You tried not to freak out when you realized your phone was gone and the only cellphone in there was probably as old as your grandmother. You dialed your moms number about five times and all of them went on voicemail, making you curse mentally. 

This can’t be happening. Not to me.

As soon as you leave the apartment you were in you realized you weren’t in your hometown, definitely not. It was crowded, like, really crowded and no one was wearing any face masks. Where did the freaking pandemic go? You wondered while you felt like a misfit for being the only one wearing it. 

“Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” you ask an old lady walking by.

“You’re on Main Street, sweetheart.” she says.

“No, um, I mean the city.” you watched as the old lady looked at you with a funny face, as if she was calling you crazy on her mind.

“We’re in Quantico, dear.”

“Quantico?” you repeat, mostly for yourself then for her. The lady started at you like you were an alien. “Thank you so much, ma’am.”

The air started to go low on you, how did you get to Virginia, anyway? That was across the country from where you lived, Bellevue in Washington state. You started lost walking, trying to understand what the hell was going on. It felt like you were on a parallel universe, like you were in a dream but couldn't wake up and it sure felt very real. You stoped a jornal shop taking a lot at the last newspaper in there, trying to figure if something happened that you were missing. However, nothing reported there shocked you, what did, though, was the date. 

July 1st, 2008

You were about to ask someone about it when you bumped into a blonde woman, falling on the ground. As soon as you looked up, you almost chocked yourself. If the day was already weird, this was even weirder. A.J Cook was standing right in front of you with a concerned look. You couldn't really say anything, just staring at her like she wasn't real. It was weird seeing her in front of you after only seeing her through screens. 

“I’m so sorry!” she said as she offered a hand for you to get up. “Are you ok?”

“I- um, yes! I’m fine.” you san, getting the dirt out of your outfit. “I’m a big fan of yours! Wish I had my phone here to take a picture but- sorry.“ you stoped talking, realizing she probably doesn’t care.

“Big fan of me? Wow, howcome somebody’s a fan of me?” she sounds surprised.

“Well, you’re on Criminal Minds.” you say as it was obvious. 

She looked at you as if you were out of your mind. Not that you weren't thinking otherwise at the moment, anyways. 

“I’m on what now?” she asked.

Maybe you got confused and she was the wrong person, but she looked so much like her to not be her. If they were not the same person, then definitely twins. This was so weird, once again, you found yourself asking ‘what the hell’ mentally.

“You’re JJ, Jennifer Jareau, FBI Agent and all.” you say, trying one more time. “Behaviour Analysis Unit...”

“Yea, that‘s me.” she let a nervous laugh comes out of her mouth. “How do you know me?”

‘This is weird’ you thought. How does she not understand where you know her from? Literally Criminal Minds, like you said at first. ‘Maybe this is all a dream.’

“I saw you on tv” you try.

“Oh, I see! You like law enforcement?” she asks you.

“Oh yes, I’m in law-school to be a judge someday.” you answered. “The show, all of it just makes me wanna put all them bad guys in jail.” you say, laughing a bit. 

“The show...? What?” you hear her whisper, but decide to ignore it. “What’s the mask about?” JJ asks, making you look at her surprised.

“Um, covid-19?” you say like it’s obvious, because it is.

“Oh, sure...” she smiles as she says it, almost like she's only agreeing because she won't discuss it. “Great talking to you, really, but I gotta go, FBI duty calls.” she jokes.

You smile at her watching carefully as she picks up her phone from her pocket and pick up a call. That phone looked awfully old, like 2000’s old. Why would a famous actress have that kinda of phone? Then, you looked around trying to understand more about what was going on. It was all too out of place.

First, nobody wearing masks, not even a single person but you. Second, you were in a city in which is miles away from your own. Third, a famous actress acted like she’s nobody. And fourth, the date on the calendar said 2008.

If it wasn’t just impossible I would say I time travelled into Criminal Minds universe.

After standing there for literal 10 minutes trying to figure it out what you were going to do, you decide to go to the police department. After all, you may have been abducted, right? Because you didn’t have any knowledge of the place, you took quite some time to get there. As soon as you got there you sigh in relief, that has been quite a walk and damn, you were tired of this situation. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, can you help me?” you ask to the lady standing behind the counter.

“Sure, dear. What do you need?” she looks up at you, taking her glasses of her face.

“I think I might have been abducted?” you start. “I woke up in this random apartment.”

“Maybe you had a one-night stand.” she said putting back her glasses.

“No! I am sure I didn’t because first of all, there’s a pandemic going on, second of all I was in Bellevue in Washington state when I went to sleep.” you yell, involuntarily, desperate to make her believe in you. 

“Miss, I’m gonna need you to calm down or you will be escorted out of the building. You’re probably on drugs, there's nothing we can do for you.”

“Fuck you.” you say as you watch her face get all red.

Frustrated. That could define what you were feeling, scared and worried could do the work, as well. What were you going to do now? Go to the FBI to see if they could freaking understand why you simply appeared in Quantico? Didn't sound like a bad idea in your mind as you decided to just try it out. After all, you were already pretty screwed up, it would worth a shot.

You reached for your back pocket, hoping that the money you shoved in there more than a week ago would still be in there. Bingo! You pull out a 20 dollar bill out of it and the next thing you know you’re getting into a cab asking him to take you to the FBI. Now that’s something you never thought would happen. The travel was quite quick, in 20 minutos you were standing in front of that big isolated building. It looked like it was taken straight out of your favorite show, that was insane. 

The wind blew hard on you when you got out of the vehicle, making you shiver a little, that reminded you that you did not have any clothes nor money to buy more. God, you did not even have where to go. You didn't even get the chance to get into the building as a big man steps in front of you, blocking your way. 

“Miss, you're not allowed in this building.” he said without much expression. 

“But, sir-” you started, as you saw he was about to interrupt you, you go on. “Ive been abducted and I don't know where or how the hell did I get in here, I’m completely hopeless... Please.” you beg him.

He started at you for a couple of seconds, that felt like centuries for you, just to sigh at you.

“Ok, follow me.” he said. “Do not make me regret this.” 

“I-I won’t, sir.” you were quick to answer. 

The agent asked another man to cover up for him as he led me into the building. Once again you found yourself admired of how much it did look like a Criminal Minds episode in there, if you weren't totally desperate you'd be amused. Soon, you two were out of the elevator on floor 8, leading with the words Behavior Analysis Unit quite big. 

“Can you take her to Agent Jareau, please?” the man said to someone who passed by, who simply agreed. 

Now, that's a funny coincidence, there's actually an Agent Jareau in the BAU. 

You followed the woman with questioning trying to stay calm when you saw Matthew Gray Gubler sitting on a desk reading some book in Reid style, almost like he was Spencer himself. If you had any doubts you were going crazy, that was the final proof. You stoped walking, taking a stare at him and then at the Agent that stared a you like you were an alien.

“Is there something wrong?” she asks you. “Miss, are you ok?”

You were unable to answer for a few seconds when you finally opened you mouth, still trying to figure it out how to say what was on your mind without sounding completely insane.

“Is that Dr. Spencer Reid?” 

And that was all you’re able to say because as soon as you let his name out of your mouth he looked up at you, trying to somehow recognize you. You were sure, that time, that you never looked - and sounded - as insane as right now. 

“Yes, that's me.” he answers. 

His voice was the last thing you could hear before everything go black. Maybe you were finally going to wake up. Maybe. 

[violetren]

My first theory for volume 9 while the second half of volume 8 is fresh in my mind!

Volume 9 is gonna be the therapy season, but in the most traumatic you'll need different therapy afterwards kind of way. Instead of paying a therapist they're all just be bargaining with the universe like "yo I've had this trauma for a while, and I'm feeling pretty done with it. Here you take it back and uhhh I'll take a new guilt complex. Maybe a fear of falling? IDK, fuck me up bro."

The foreshadow-y Alice in Wonderland-esque fairy tale Oscar told to himself/Oz while in captivity is my guide post here.

Aaaand this is gonna get long so! 10 ideas of shit that's gonna go down next volume beneath the readmore, each one about 1-2 paragraphs each.

In the fairy tale the girl runs away from her problems into a new land, but because she never learned from her problems they just followed after her. Yeah? So first--second? First discounting the volume therapy theme theory.

FIRST BIG THEORY: The girl from the fairy tale was real, and she used the Spear of Creation. And like Weiss and the crew, she was fucking smart about her wording. She offered up materials that'd last even after someone else inevitably used the staff. IDK what materials she woulda used. Maybe there's a story about a missing continent we just haven't heard of yet? Maybe the Brother of Light's pool, since Salem seens to have claimed the Brother of Darkness's one but no sign of BoL's these days. Maybe there is a reason the land beyond Menagerie is so uninhabitable beyond desert + grimm? idk. Point is, it's a thing that happened, and since Ambrosius can't destroy/directly kill she's still in her wonderland. For themes sake I'm gonna call her Alice from here on out.

So Alice made a pocket dimension to flee from her problems from.

SECOND BIG THEORY: Her problems were relic related. She needed to hide em, and hide herself from Salem. Tbh I'm not sure how into this one I am. Maybe she had other shit going and some version of Oz was like "hey you don't want to be here, I have some property that I don't want to be here, lets make this happen!" THE POINT IS, the little pocket realities the relics are in, are aalllllll places in her pocket reality. When the team said "hey Ambrosius just make the middle ground into one of these type places" that's what he did, cause that's how he do. What better way to make sure it works like those places than to be kinda connected to em?

THIRD BIG THEORY: Ambrosius was buds with Alice once upon a time, but knew staying in her pocket world ultimately drove her crazy. He knew his middle ground worked like the pocket dimensions because it touched em or something, so he gave a vague ass warning not to fall, because he knew where they'd fall to.

Back to the fairy tale. It's implied Alice was never able to leave/give up her wonderland because she never learned from her mistakes.

FOURTH BIG THEORY VERSION 1: RWBY + Jaune can't figure their way back to reality until they adress a major personal issue and break out of whatever cycle it's got them in. This one I feel is shaky because they all have such different issues and are in very different places with each of them, trying to do one big arc on em would be too much of a mess. Plus it doesn't account for saving any of the many civilians that may have survived the fall.

FOURTH BIG THEORY VERSION 2: nobody can leave until Alice either leaves, dies, OR is convinced to let them go. As we're following good kind people this means we watch the kids try to give someone else therapy that THEY need. RWBY+J work through their shit through variations & combinations of witnessing mirrors of their struggles in Alice/other wonderland inhabitants, and just having time and space to slow down and breathe whether they want it or not.

FIFTH BIG THEORY: Alice is the "antagonist" of the underworld because she is the obstacle to overcome.

What about Neo you may be asking. Well I want her to let go of the revenge schtick, or at least redirect it back onto Cinder thus calling a truce with Ruby. However it's more than likely she's gonna be on team keep Alice as an obstacle at least as long as it takes to kill Ruby, and so Neo will be the "real" Antagonist™ within wonderland.

SIXTH BIG THEORY: Neo because of her unwavering determination to enact revenge is gonna die this volume. She'll be the comparison against which RWBY+J will be measured. As they grow and get closer to leaving she'll become more wrapped up with whatever strange classic wonderland logic this pocket universe has. Potentially depending on how things go with helping Alice, Neo may just end up trading spots with her, and end up trapped while everyone else goes back. But dead or trapped, I have a sad feeling this could be our last volume with Neo. My only hope of her surviving at this point is that she like Emerald switches sides, and in doing so joins Winter as a Cinder foil. While Neo grows and lets go of revenge and thus survives, Cinder stays dedicated to her own desires for revenge and other self serving instincts ringing her own death toll for either the end of the volume, or maybe somewhere in vol.10.

SEVENTH BIG THEORY: Ruby is gonna be grieving and maybe even getting full on angry about being expected to fix everything just because she's the optimistic one. She shouldn't have to deal with this brand and advanced level of childhood stealing just because she wanted to do what was right and won(lost) a genetic lottery for magic powers type anger. Jaune is going to have SO MUCH GUILT to work through, mostly the survivors kind. The bees will be experiencing couples therapy, they've both been pretty solid about individual growth leading up to this, Underworld will be them learning what it means to them to be partners now that they are so different to who they were. Weiss is different. Weiss is at first gonna feel like she's there just because it was a way to really shove all the other Schnee's into their therapy arcs and gave RBY+J neutral presence to rely on. Weiss is gonna go in the most stable of the bunch. But then, slow boil style, she'll start to realise how fucked up basically her whole life has been, especially upon realising that her "good years" with her new family have been spent getting sucked into being the last line of defense against the apocalypse, but will be too busy helping the others, so at the end of the volume when everyone else is actually doing pretty good and refreshed for the fight against Salem she'll only just be beginning her breakdown.

EIGHTH BIG THEORY: All this therapy shit is gonna be mirrored back on Remnant by the others grieving the percieved loss of the hearts of the team. Both sides of these story are gonna deal with some heavy shit, but the Remnant side is gonna be the depressed side, at least as long as it takes for Oz to tell them maybe the other's aren't dead leading to desperate attempts to get the staff OR the make desperate attempts to get the relics back anyways and inadvertently find out from Ambrosius what is up. But anyways. Winter is gonna be dealing with survivors guilt and the loss of both her little sisters (friends are great but Penny was little sister zoned and it's a hill I am prepared to die on. good sisterly relationships are friendships too). Nora is gonna be doing her self discovery thing. Ren is gonna be building on his end of vol.8 developments. Oscar will continue his grappling with the merge stuff. Qrow and Willow might get forced into AA. Whitely is gonna learn his own definition of being a Schnee instead of what his dad taught him.

NINTH BIG THEORY (OR FOURTH VERSION 3): The other way they get out is QORN obtain and use the staff to bring them home, potentially by trading enemy lives for them.

BONUS CONSPIRACY THEORY: QORN if presented with needing to trade for their loved ones & lost civilians have a lightbulb moment and decide hey why not trap Salem in a pocket universe since that is a thing Ambrosius can make? Like, if this bitch hasn't budged on her not learning to appreaciate life and humanity or whatever (which I'n pretty sure is the other way to break her curse instead of stopping remnant from turning) then she's a prime candidate for shoving into a personal reality that you can only escape if you can face your problems long enough to break the cycle they have you in. It'd be really fucked up but I think it might actually be possible to run the place using her as her own material component. Like kill her over and over and redistribute the energy to make the pocket world, but because god given power + Ambrosius can't actually destroy she just reforms anyways. MIght take a few hundred thousand deaths but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Or use the BoD oasis/grimm pools to make a world that mirrored the one she chose to live in on Remnant really make it hard for her to break that cycle....

Anyways.

TENTH BIG THEORY: Working on the idea that the relics are actually hidden in secret protected pockets of the underworld RWBY+J are gonna have a secondary quest of trying to get the relics from this side, and either finding a new place to hide them ages away from their vault doors. If you wanna make it a FOURTH VERSION 4, they're specifically gonna seek out the sword of destruction (HOLY VORPAL BLADE ALLUSIONS BATMAN) either with the intent of cutting their way out underworld--ahem wonderland--or with the assumption that someone is inevitably gonna have to open the vault door, because that's just how things be these days and they'll be able to cross to Vacuo from there.

[popculturebuffet]

Top 10 Thanksgiving Episodes

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody! Time to eat a ton, pass out, and watch MST3K and all that. And since I already covered most of the general stuff about how diffrent this holiday is in my Loud House Review, and to reitarate to anyone having a big, 20 or so people crammed in a room thanksgiving this year

For the rest of us like all of the big three of Holidays, thanksgivings also the time for some classic episodes of television. Granted most shows stick to one, with some exceptions like friends, roseanne and new girl, but most make their one count. Thanksgiving may not be as big as the holidays it’s sandwitched in between, to the point christmas is slowly but surely trying to swallow it whole, but it’s still a time for family, fighting, and food that brings plenty of opprotunity for greatness and even with a smaller pool, I stiill had signifigant trouble narrowing down my list to 10. But I stand by what I got it wittled down to. This is my top 10 thanksgiving episodes! And for my regular readers, there’s a suprising lack of animation but i’m more than willing ot go outside that and now’s the right time, asi’m currently having a black friday sale with reviews marked down by two bucks to just 3 dollars for an episode of any tv show. Yes it’s a shameless plug but since when have I ever had shame? So with that in mind let’s chow down, it’s my top 10 thanksgiving episodes!

10. Pangs (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Buffy is as a show I REALLY need to revisit. While lately, what with the abuse he did that we can’t get details on when making justice league or his you know cheating on his wife on and off over a decade, I’m not at all a fan of series creator Joss Whedon, Buffy itself is still a classic in my eyes. 

The tale of a teenager given the role of the Slayer, a chosen female asskicker given moderate super powers and the duty to defend the world from vampires and other ghouls. The show dealt with the usual teen superhero stuff, ballancing asskicking with saving the world and arguably codified the genre, to the point I hold it at least partially responsible for the bigger wave of teen heroes in the 2000′s in animation and comics. The show had smart dialouge, metaphors, mythology and a rich, and vibrant cast. Sure some things haven’t aged well like an adult vampire dating a teenager or the really dated ways Willow’s sexuality were handled, as groundbreaking as it was, from barely letting her kiss her girlfriend or be shown being intimate iwth her, or just entirley shutting out the posiblity she’s bisexual. But a few age wrinkles aside the show is still good and I still need to rewatch it and that includes our number 10 pangs, one of hte most memorable and well done thanksgiving specials and one fo the shows more comedy moments.  It’s thanksgiving, and Buffys mom’s going out of town, so she decides to hold thanksgiving at Giles place to bring her slowly drifting surrogate family together. Naturally given the way things usually go for our Slayer, she has a hard time of it as Willow chafes at celebrating colonolsim, Giles dosen’t get what the big fuss is about that or the meal being british, and Spike shows up looking for protection from season big bads the initiative, a secret military unit that’s chipped him so he can’t harm humans, so he has no way to eat and spends the mal tied to a chair. Oh and of course, a vengeful native american spriti from the chumash tribe has given Xander syphilis and killed a currator as revenge for his people’s suffering, so now Buffy has to fight a ghost bear if she want sa happy thanksgiving. Also Angel is back in town and being kind of a dick, but hey it leads to a good episode of his spinoff so whatever. 

Pangs is just a fun episode, not only does it do well by not ignoring american colonalisim, but it just has a fun energy to it as Buffy desperately tries to have a good thanksgiving, Spike instnatly proves his worth as an addition to the gang both chemstiry and comedy wise, and we of course get this classic moment. 

It had to fight it’s way onto the list, but pangs is a holiday dish worthy of sinking your fangs into. 

9. The Dressing (Aqua Teen Hunger Force) Speaking of nutty fun thanksgiving episodes.. this one is simply that. I love Aqua Teen Hunger force.. even if like a lot of comedy shows it drooped in later seasons, it still has it’s classics earlier on and even later on has a few gems. But on the earlier on side we have their utterly bonkers and delightful thanksgiving episode “The Dressing”, a sequel to the Christmas Episode “The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from The Future”, which itself is an utter classic, but we’ll possibly get to that in december’s list. 

The Aqua Teens are having Thanksgiving with Carl, whose naturally onlyt here for the free food and staying outside. it’s also days before or after, with black colored frito pie,a t urkey, and whatever else their broke selves could scrounge up.  However, naturally, like Buffy a normal day for the Aqua Teens just isn’t complete without some weird shit happening, thanksgiving gets interrupted by the cybernetic ghost of Christmas past fromt he future, whose transformed himself into a turkey and wants to save their turkey so it can lead a rebellion in the bizzare hilarious distopian hellscape he comes from. This of course leads to him getting drunk, eating all their food and later showing up with a laser sock to murder carl after the episodes over. It’s just a fun time, a really funny episode and one of the teens more memorable outings. Not a lot to say here, it’s just really damn funny. 

8. Arnold’s Thanksgiving (Hey Arnold!)  Anoter classic I really need to revist but that more than earns his place here. Hey Arnold.. is easily one of the best animated shows ever. I say that with no hyperbole as it handled slice of life well while still getting dramatic when needed to, and is easily the gold standard for slice of life children’s cartoons to this day. And naturally it’s holiday specials were great, and I only r eally haven’t revisited them because they also hurt.. a lot. So unsuprisingly this one makes the list. 

IT’s thanksgiving and given how chaotic things are for both Arnold and Helga’s families, our heroes are miserable. Arnold would understandably like just once to have thanksgiving on thanksgiving, his family instead doing fourth of july due to his grandmother being who she is. And Helga naturally is ignored and mistrteated as usual since her sisters home and her dad and alchoholic mother ignore her as usual even when she’s not around. What i’m saying is while Arnold’s issue is understandable, helga always wins a “whose got the shitter life” contest. 

So the two flee to their teacher Mr Simmons, a character I genuinely loved and loved even more finding out he was gay as an adult, as he was a kind , supportive teacher who could be a bit softhearted but wasn’t afraid to step the fuck up when needed. But they find his thanksgiving isn’t much better, as his Mother and wont’ stop sniping at his boyfriend peter and clearly isn’t entirely comfortable with her son’s sexuality, his friend keeps snapping at peter and mooching off him, and his uncle.. well he’s just a loud asshole who wants turkey.. The kids naturally realize the meaning of the holiday, reconclie with their families who DID take genuine steps to make up for them being gone and missed them, all is well. It just shows nobody’s family is perfect, and is well done in that but also shows why thanksgiving has grown beyond it’s roots: It’s a day for families to get together and even if they may fight, recognize why they love one another. I also give the show balls for heavily imiplying a character is gay and not slapping a girlfriend on him or any of the usual bollocks: Simmons just very clearly is gay and it’s as transparent as the show could get at the time, with the show making it crystal clear years later with the revivial movie. Nice. We’ll have more servings of thanksgiving classics after the cut. 

7. Slapsgiving (How I Met Your Mother) Oh How I Met Your Mother. You started out really good but boy did that go downhill fast and land in a nuclear inferno didn’t it? But I can bitch about the How I Met Your Mother Ending some other time, and probably will. In the show’s prime before they decided to stick with an ending no one wanted anymore, it was pretty great and while season 1′s also impressive Thanksgiving outing “Belly Full of Turkey” was considered, there was ultimately one slaptastic king when it came to Thanksgiving: Slapsgiving. 

Naturally for this show Slapsgiving ties into the show’s suprisngly deep and rich lore: The season before this, Marshall and Barney made a “Slap Bet”, which is exactly what it says on the tin: A bet where the winner slaps the looser. And due to Barney prematurely slapping Marshall, Marshall got 5 penalty slaps to be dolled out whenever, one in that episode and another in a coda to another. For his next one though Marshall decided to outdo himself and set up a counter.. and it all comes down to thanskgiving.  So we get a good ten minutes of Jason Siegel making meancing slap based refrences while NPH’s barney cowers in fear before Marshall’s wife lily pumps the breaks on the bet as comissoner.. only to reconsider when Barney makes the mistake of tormenting Marshall over it, resuling in the inevitible, and in THE thanksgiving song. 

Basically it’s what happen when you give three really funny people a subplot together. Magic happens. The subplot is not bad either as a pre-totallyinsufferabledouchebag Ted hooks up with Robin again over lingering feelings and thanksgiving prep and the two have to deal with that... though it’s mostly funny for Robin’s new boyfriend, who Future Ted acknowledges is barely older than them, but admits to remembering as decrept old man, which results in a  30 something’s dialouge coming out of a very old man and me laughing very hard. A simple joke but one that really works. Overall a slaptacular good time. 

6. Two Turkeys (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

NINE NINE BITCHES! I’m honestly shocked I haven’t talked about Brooklyn Nine Nine on here already, but it’s easily one of the best sitcoms in recent memory, if not of all time. It has one of the best ensemble casts, great jokes and timing, yet still ballances things out with a sense of realisim beneath the madness> It’s also noticable for holding it’s officers more accountable than most real world police departments, to the point all scripts that were written up for next season were thrown out post George Floyd. It’s truly a joy to watch. 

So naturally they’ve had their share of Holiday episodes, with them easily having the best crop of halloween episodes since roseanne with their annual heists, and having some pretty damn memorable christmases, opening with this:

So naturally thanksgiving is no exception, with it’s last two being the best and it being a really hard choice wether to go with season 4′s “Detective Santiago” or this one. But as good as the other ep was.. this one inched it out for good reason. 

The episode’s split into two equally good, equally hilarious plot lines. In the B-Plot, the 99′s Captain Raymond Holt, one of the best characters in sitcom history and gay icon, and his husband Kevin take their annual trip to get a pie for Holt’s families thanksgiving and come back with the well crafted pie, even if both prefer their food nice and bland. But the pie go missing and Captain Holt procedes to hilariously drill into each of the other members of the 99 and uncovering holes int their previous thanksgving stories with Rosa’s being suprisingly heartwarming (She’s going to a humilating minons on ice show with her family because they reconnected in jail.. setting up the equally awesome “Game Night” episode where she comes out.) and Boyle’s being utterly pathetic as you’d expect (Cooking his son mac and cheese because he’ll eat nothing else and declaring him a “basic bitch”). The solution however ends up being heartwarming as the culprit is actually Kevin, who hated the pie.. as did Raymond who suggests just taking the drive anyway because they enjoy the silent ride there and back every year. It may be boring to us.. but it’s preicious and really sweet all the same.. as it is hilarous when Kevin treats this as a big endugence and seems turned on by that. What i’m saying is these men are couple goals and Marc Evan Jakcson was awesome long before ducktlaes.  The main plot is also great, as Jake and Amy, now engaged after this year’s halloween episode which is also , coincidentally, the series best, try to unite their families. It just goes about as well as you’d expect as Amy’s are type a control freaks, jake’s mom is a retired hippie school teacher and his dad is a human disaster area who has to be told to put on pants, cheated on his mom constantly, somehow got her back, and in general is barely functional on a good day. The families do bond breifly but things ineveitbly break down, hilarity and severed limbs insue and family comes together. IT’s just a funny, well done 20  mintues that’s also really damn sweet, with this plot ending with Amy’s dad accepting the chaos as that’s’ts what you do with family. Also jake naturally finds out he has a ton of step siblings as his dad was and still is a man whore. Happy Thanksgiving!

5. Bart Vs Thanksgiving (The SImpsons)

Let’s face it: if you follow my reviews at all you knew this was coming. While not one I go back to due to being an emotional kidney punch, i’d be doing this list a diservice if this classic wasn’t on there.  In a nutshell, Bart starts a petty fight with Lisa over her centerpiece that ends with it in the fireplace, Bart sent to his room till he apologizes, and Bart seething insiting he did no wrong. It takes a visit to the homeless shelter after running away, and ending up on the news, to realize what an ass he’s been and one nightmarish dream sequence later, seriously why do you think I don’t revisit this one that often? This thing has traumatized me since I was a kid and unlike the slap song I will not be showing it to you, has a heartwarming reconcliation with his sister on the roof. It’s just a nice, sweet special that gets the holiday just right and i’d expect nothing less from Golden Age Simpsons.  

4. A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving (Gilmore Girls) Another show I need to talk about more, Gilmore Girls is fucking awesome. The story of a woman who ran away pregnant at age 16 and built her own life for her daughter in the quirky town of stars hollow who finds herself reconnecting with her parents in present day against her will.. is really good stuff. Funny, heartfelt and really damn well acted with one hell of a cast, the show is part of me and I make no bones about that, so it’s big thanksgiving outing naturally belongs on here.  The premise is simple: Rory and Loreli end up having to go to four diffrent thanksgivings, which even for big eaters like them is a massive task, each unique and entertaining. The main event of course is Suki’s, where everyone’s faviorite chef agreed to let her husband cook the turkey.. of course with the plan to sneak in mid cooking and add her own touches. This gets foiled when Jackson and his family decide to deep fry the thing.. probably in part because Jackson knows his wife well and knows what she was planning. Though over the night while our heroines are at their other meals, it devolves into them deepfrying everything they can get their hand son including a shoe, and Suki getting plastered to tolerate it.  While not topping it the other meals and the sheer lunacy of four thanksigvings in one day, are still memorable: There’s the natural posh one at Richards and Emilys, the dour joyless one at The Kims where Mrs Kim forces the band to play the whole time and forces our heroines to eat food as joyless as Mrs. Kim, and Lukes for a nice round of Rory grappling with having PDA with her boyfirend Jess before resolving it at the end. Also dean’s a jackass. No one is suprised. Jess isn’t one at this stage in his character which is. Also Kirk adopts a cat that slowly pushes him out of his own house which works comedically becaus Sean Gunn is a national treasure. Overall a really good episode and if you have netflix and haven’t checked the series out, this is a good one to try out. 

3. The Thanksgiving Special (Regular Show) I already talked about this one in my top 11 Regular Show episodes so i’ll try to be brief. In a nutshell Mordecai and Rigby destroy thanksgiving and genuinelly feeling bad about it, scramble to win a thanksgiving bird from a Thanksgiving Song Contest, going up against an all star super group comissioned by Donald Trump. Yes really. Meanwhile Muscle Man and High Five Ghost go to get sides and the  rest of the park staff’s attemtps to get a turkey are thwarted by a bunch of thanksgiving reinactors who go unexplained in any way shape or form which given how rare that is for regular show, which usually has some sort of explination for the madness, just makes it funnier. It ends with a REALLY touching song, a fight on a blimp with outgoing president trump, and a truly heartwarming thanksgiving meal. All in all a nice special that combines the shows madcap nature with the genuine warm fuzzies of thanksgiving. 

2. We Gather Together (Roseanne) Another series I need to talk about more.. and another series where one of the creators has turned out to be a terrible human being. Seriously Roseanne Barr is is a terible person, she deserved to be removed from her show, and while the Conner’s isn’t GREAT it’s still FAR better without her. That being said I will still stick up for the original as she wasn’t the only one involved (indeed the aformentioned Joss Whedon worked on the show breifly and Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman Paladino not only worked there but later adapted one of Roseanne’s insane antics, making all the writers wear caps with a number instead of referring to them by name , to Gilmore Girls.). Her being a bad person even then dosen’t change the fact that the show is sitcom gold, one of my faviorite shows, and a true classic. And this episode helps showcase WHY. 

What makes this episode special, even among Roseanne episodes is it’s structure: While there are things going on it’s mostly a free floating day in the Families life and thus feels like your there with them through thanksgiving. It feels genuine, like past thanksgivings i’ve remembered: Everyone has their own stuff going on, they all eat, and there’s naturally a big blowup.. and one that eveyrone else ignores to eat which I can relate  to. That authenticity really elevates the episode and is why I seek it out every year. 

That’s not to say nothing happens, it just flows in and out like it would in a normal thanksgiving. Roseanne deals with her parents, a pre-abuser version of her dad and her overbearing nightmare of a mother beverly, and the inevetible blow up when Bev’s needling about Jackie’s life goes too far , prompting Jackie to reveal her new job as a police officer before bursting into tears, all to Roseanne’s annoyance. Rosie also moves them to a hotel despite an attempted guilt trip from her mom. 

Speaking of Mom’s we see Dan’s for the only time before the later seasons and the utterly terrible last season, a professional career woman whose moved on well from her ex and brought her new boyfriend there. Ed, despite some comptemplation over it is firmly accepting and instead starts flirting with the Conner’s friend Crystal. Dan, being overprotective because of his Daddy Issues, but ed cals him out on it “Being lonely is a hell of a lot for two people to have in common, you woudln’t knwo anything abotu that son, and I pray to god you never do” A great caper to a fantastic episode.. one I thought was going to top the list... THOUGHT is the key word here...

1. Turkey in A Can (Bob’s Burgers) This one is. Bob’s Burgers is one of the best things to come out of the 2010′s and i’ve fallen way too far behind on it, so I can’t say if any thanksgivings after thankshoarding top this one.. what I can say is this one is the gold standard for thanksgiving episodes, and is filled with great stuffing. 

Thanksgiving is Bob’s holiday. Being a chef he loves the chance to go all out, and really flex his muscles for his families when it comes to cooking up a storm, and it’s endearing when bob gets just as nuts as his family. But this year someone keeps flushing his turkeys down the toilet despite his best efforts, so while Louise hilariously tries to solve things to proe it wasn’t her (though it’s entirely fair they thought it was her consdering.. everything), while LInda, Gene and LInda’s flighty sister Gale try to write THE thanksgiving song. And while it’s no you just got slapped, damn if they didn’t succeed. 

Sailors in your mouth indeed. It leads to plenty of great jokes the best being the guy at the Deli Counter thinking Bob’s into him and bob not being sure how to respond, but being mildly recpetive. But the climax is what makes the episode as when Bob falls asleep we find his medication has been making him sleepwalk.. and thus put the turkey s int he toilet, as Tina’s desire to be at the Grown Up Table, itslef a REALLY funny runner as you’d expect, has him panicking internally and thus reliving her potty training. The episode ends with Bob letting her come to the adults table, and a rather heartwarming thanksgiving feast. All in all an excellent episode. It also leads to the chaos seen above whic hif htat’s not thanksgiving, I don’t know what is. 

Have a happy thanksgiving and check out my black friday sale! Until then there’s always another rainbow!

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#35)

5x12 baby, helpppp how are we already at the penultimate episode (already, i say, after dragging this first-ever watch out basically as long as humanly possible L O L why am i like this)

my reactions / recap / flailing under the cut

I see that Tyra is literally the preview photo so I’m already like OH SHITTTT

Tami coming home from the airport with potentially life-altering news...and Eric is asleep in front of the TV on the couch, clearly trying to wait up for her, my heart.

AHHH Julie’s home??? A surprise? This is so fucking cute! The ending vibes are definitely here.

Omg Tim are you good, baby? Is he throwing his bed out of the trailer? Damn he clearly has so much trauma from prison.

Damn NBC 8 is pulling up, that’s how you know it’s State. “It’s State, Levi, get used to it.” “No, I’ll NEVER get used to it!” Lmao i love Levi.

WOW look at Luke trying to set up childcare so moms can participate in a hearing about school funding! GO OFF KING

Omg i almost forgot Mindy was pregnant again. Billy’s so excited...oh fuck, TWINS? They’re gonna be so broke forever. Mindy is as horrified as I would be lmao

Oh shit, here we go...Tami’s finally telling Eric about the job offer...and admitting she wants it!!! AHH

“We’d have to move to Philadelphia.” “We live in Texas. Honey, Texas...is where our friends and family are. Texas is where I work, Texas is where I have my job.” Weren’t y’all just thinking about moving to Florida like two episodes ago? I smell a double standard, sir!

Ugh Eric is shutting down. “I can’t talk about this right now.” BISH

“How many times have we moved before for your job?” MMHMM that’s right, Eric! You look shell-shocked but you need to take that in, sit with it!

Tim Riggins behind the bar is hot. Just an observation.

Ugh, the tension between poor Tim and Billy. Tim’s gonna go to Alaska?! WOW did not see that plan coming!

“What the hell are you gonna do, sleep with a bunch of woodchucks?” BILLY WHAT LMAO

“You’re gonna leave Texas?” “YES.” I love the drama in both these back to back conversations about the thought of Leaving Texas.

Broken dryer, Jess, I’ve been there. Like right now, we have a broken dryer in our apartment. Ooh, Vince coming and finding her and being gentle!

Aw poor Jess. “I finally found a coach who was open-minded enough to let me in and not laugh at me. He lets me shadow him and teach me how to be a coach, and now they’re gonna take it all away.” These poor kids.

VINCE: “We won’t let that happen.” MY HEART. I love them.

Wow, Luke’s being sold a low-tier football program, isn’t he? “We just got a Costco, and a brand new movie theater in the town.” yikes.

How is a reporter asking Eric “are you worried he’s taking on too much?” about a teenage boy. Like, how do they know this much about Vince’s life? Texas football culture will forever amaze me, even after watching almost the entire series.

“We haven’t even scratched the surface of what Vince Howard can do.” AWWW my heart! Eric is such a good coach.

Oh wow, the East Dillon Lions vs. Dillon Panthers funding debate!!! Did they send a Booster Club representative here to Buddy’s door to shake him down? “There’s gonna be a lot of changes.” Like what IS THIS?

“Vince Howard is gonna be a Panther.” This is... A Lot. “That chair at the head of the table is waiting on you.”

Oh nooooo Tim getting physical with a customer.

“I’ve been waiting five minutes for my drink.” FAMILIAR VOICE IN THE CORNER??? “Hey there, jailbird.” It’s Tyra, and she has long brown hair! I dig it! I dig this reunion!

Aw, Eric coming home and immediately apologizing to Tami for earlier.

Tami’s being realistic that if the Lions lose, their economic situation is in jeopardy—so a good job offer on the table is something to consider!

“So you’re routing against us?” OMG and there’s a moment when Tami thinks he’s referring to them but then realizes he’s referring to “oh, the team?” jfc “You and I, or us the Lions. Of course.”

“You know what, I’ve been a coach’s wife for 18 years. Every decision we’ve made has been based on your coaching career.” LIFE BEYOND FOOTBALL OH SHIT

Oh God Eric’s getting up with the keys???? Come on, dude! This is not cool! There are so many colleges and high schools in Pennsylvania! I promise they play football there!

Omg did Tyra just tell Tim about the twins since he refused to really talk to Billy?

Aw Tyra wrote to him in prison? That’s sweet.

Awww Mindy’s literally having a breakdown about not having enough space, and not being able to handle three kids. These poor babes. And the football team’s fate hinges on this because of the assistant coach’s salary...fucking crazy

Ooh now Buddy’s trying to hype Eric up on the Panther-Lions Superteam they’re gonna create.

Aw the whole fam at Billy and Mindy’s—Tyra, Becky, even Mama Collette.

“He’s got some stupid idea he’s gonna go to Alaska and work on a pipeline.” Well, when someone comes to prison and tells you they’ll actually let someone who has to check the felony box work a job with decent wages, yeah. God, the prison industrial complex sucks. Feeds the most vulnerable people into the shittiest jobs.

Julie outside of the Saracen home? Awww. Has she seen him since that romantic Chicago good-bye?

Luke, listen to Becky!! “I’d really appreciate if you put down the wrench and listen to me.” YES GURL

“That’s not real. You are! And I just think there’s been a lot of misunderstandings.” “Well, that’s really pretty you should put it in a love poem.” “Are you kidding me? Go to hell!” yeah, correct answer, Becky! These teens are under so much STRESS! The DRAMA!

Omg all these grown men screaming at the town hall meeting about football i cannot

Ewww these classist fucks. “Some of us on this side of town happen to own our houses.” Eat the rich.

Why the fuck is Billy writing a fucking speech while driving? And he’s surprised he swerved? Sir…

Aw poor Eric with pain in his eyes telling Billy he can’t be definitive about his job security...I mean, yeah.

Aw, Luke coming into the bar while Tim is working after...that talk with Becky…

“You and Becky...are you in love with her?” Tim looks so amused. “Are you serious?” “...Yeah. “No, I’m not in love with Becky. I care about her.” THANK YOU BOYS AND GIRLS CAN BE FRIENDS. Is this not what Becky tried to tell you last night? “I’ve been there a few times when nobody else was, but that’s about it.”

Aw Luke is so similar to Tim rn! Not “feeling it” from the school that wants him, even tho he loves football!

“You’re going to state, yeah? Nothing’s gonna beat that.” “Play it that way. Play it like it’s the last time you’re ever gonna lace up.” Some iconic Tim Riggins lines here!

“We were at the meeting last night, but we don’t want to argue or yell, we just want to give you our thoughts.” MY HEART i love Vince and Jess. “Well, that’ll be refreshing.” LOL after all these grown ass men were screaming over each other

“Was it really that bad?” “If you’re asking if I was raped in prison, Tyra, the answer’s no.” LOSING IT at this exchange lmao

“Tim Riggins, what the hell is going on with you?” that’s the question!

Oh shit is Tyra just finding out that Tim took the fall for Billy now...fuck

“He had a wife, a family. I had the chance to give him something, to give Stevie something we never had. To give him his father.” Damn, the look on Tyra’s face. She knows all too well why he did what he did even tho it fucked him up :( THE EMOTION. THE PAIN!

Damn they’re announcing the decision on the Dillon teams *before* state?

“What are you hoping for?” loaded question, Julie! “I hope that the Lions get to stay put, and I hope that I get to be Dean of Admissions at Braemore College.” awww yeah you do deserve it all, Tami.

Oh wow all these people from both teams standing in the street, drinking and talking and waiting for the decision with “i was living in a devil’s town” playing??? THIS SHOW.

I feel for the dude who has to address this town about this decision.

Anddd there it is, they eliminated the East Dillon program. The rich kids cheering for their victory in front of the poor kids mourning the end of the program they fought to make better is so fucking tacky.

And omg now they have to play state?

“Let me tell you something, you’re gonna be the star quarterback of the Dillon panthers next year, and you’re gonna shine.” OH this hug between Eric and Vince! “See you at practice tomorrow.” Again, the reminder that these people gotta play a *state championship*! wild

“We need to talk.” BUDDY WHAT?

Aw Julie and Tyra hanging out and there are Panthers screaming out of cars. “Welcome back to Dillon.” “No place like it.” Oh, this warms my heart.

I love this exchange: “You know, it’s kind of like this drug. When you get outside of it, you see it for what it really is. But when you’re in it, it seems like there’s no other possible reality.” “It’s a hard place to shake.” “Yeah...I didn’t see that one coming.”

“Whatever happened with you and Matty?” SAME, TYRA, SAME. “We’re good. I mean, we still talk every now and then. He went to Chicago. I went to visit him awhile back, and...I don’t really know what we are or aren’t or…” INTRIGUE. “I kind of just really miss him.” “Life’s harder when you really love someone.” Awwww. I loved that scene so much.

Wow, Buddy and Eric are talking at the Panthers field?

Oh, Buddy’s trying to sell him on winning the championship and then going to the Panthers to coach along with Vince….

“I can never come back to this school and coach. Never.” I mean, FAIR.

“Three rings in six years. That’s history. No one’s ever done that. You’ve got everything you want.” Yeah, Buddy, but does Tami get what she wants in that scenario?

Lol i love all the East Dillon Lions drunk on the field, like seasons’ past with teams past…

“Alright I’m taking a piece of grass home.” LOL TINK

To State and to Coach Taylor, huh? Sounds familiar. And Buddy Jr. is puking. Lmao.

“Just make sure you’re really okay with losing him.” YES Tyra! As much as Billy has majorly fucked up, i agree with her that the idea of the Riggins brothers losing each other when they ONLY had each other for so long...it makes my heart sad.

Oh shit are Tim and Tyra about to kiss? I almost forgot they were together back when this whole show started! “Please don’t go.” DAMNNN

Wow what a scene. Eric comes home with his news that he could have “everything” and Tami replies, “I’ll say to you what you haven’t had the grace to say to me: congratulations, Eric.

“I want you to take me someplace.” “Where?” “I’ll tell you when we’re on the way.” This is really cute! Also Tyra is so hot damn gurl i see you!

Aw Vince shooting his shot, yes! “What about you and me?” “I was really proud of how hard you tried. Thank you.”

“You already have two strikes against you.” “Jess, I was born with two strikes against me.” LOL SO TRUE. and aw what a hug!

Tyra took him to his land, didn’t she??? “Alaska, Tim?” He’s SMILING. Is that Texas Forever vibes i’m seeing here?

AH, Matt is home with a Christmas tree to see his grandma!!! She’s so excited!!

Aw she forgot his dad’s dead? “Did you say it was Christmas?” Oh this is so sad.

Why are Buddy and the Panthers coach standing at the Taylors’ front door like fucking cops late at night? This football program is sinister at times.

“Eighteen years.” Yeah, Tami. And then she turns it back on: “Can I get you two anything? Iced tea, water?” and FADE TO BLACK.

Damn!! What an amazing set-up for a series finale I’ve heard only good things about!!! AHHHH

[lovecomedy]

Fanfic recommendations nobody asked for

Those are my favorite wincest fic ever, just because. They are all complete. I’ll add the summaries together with my own two cents.

Consider the Hairpin Turn by cherie_morte. 27K Words

AU of 6x22: Sam's wall has shattered and the memories in his mind have splintered. When the Sam who remembers Hell tells him to go find Jess and be happy, Sam knows he can't stay while Dean needs him. But when the Sam from Hell says that Dean is already there looking for him, Sam leaves his memories of the pit behind to find him.

What he finds is a life he doesn't remember: a house that he shares with his brother (and has for years), a law career he thought he'd left behind at Stanford, and a relationship with Dean he never dreamed he could have. Life is almost too good to be true, at least until Sam begins to hear his brother's voice calling to him, begging him to wake up.

This is my favorite fic of all times. It’s beautifuly written. The way that it narrates Sam’s trauma of Hell is what keeps me coming back for more . Honestly it should be published as a book. Don’t worry, it has very happy scenes and there’s a happy ending

Welcome to the Neighborhood by ImogenPortchester. 2K Words

Dean thinks the new neighbors are interesting, but all is not what it seems.

Super short. Super heartbreaking.

Fics by leonidaslion

I mean first off, just read everything written by leonidaslion

Sing Your Hymns Like Angels In Defeat. 32K Words. 

And Lucifer Fell for a second time with the burning brilliance of a star. The Flare shone in his wake, and darkness fell upon the land ...

Dean goes blind, and I love how it describes Dean’s stuggles with it. You feel like you’re blind with him. Really, really, REALLY well written. Should probably also be a book

Fumbling in the Dark: Love Advice For the Romantically Impaired. 72K

True Love really is blind...

It’s basically a character study of every single episode of the first 5 seasons, with a wincest twist. Slow burn. Holy shit, is it a slow burn. 

Just Say My Name. 3K Words

Dean turns into a complete and utter nympho. It takes Sam a while to notice the difference.

Funny, lighthearted and porny

Hush. 2K Words

Motel walls are thin...

Discovery!kink. Sam and Dean try to have quiet sex while John is in the other room. At least, Dean is trying

Sam Winchester and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. 15K Words

Sometimes, you just shouldn't get out of bed in the morning ...

Fics by fleshflutter

Dark Side of the Moon. 20K Words

Cursed!Dean is deaf and blind. Sam deals.

The incestuous courtship of the antichrist's bride. 48K Words

Sam is trying to become the Antichrist in order to save the world. He has a small army of angels and demons, he has an adoring cult, he has a work of prophecy by Jack Kerouac, and he has Dean. Things are going pretty well until he accidentally signs Dean up as his Beloved Consort, a role that requires sex with the Antichrist on an altar. And that's when things stop going pretty well. Also, the soundtrack to the Apocalypse sucks.

I don’t like crack fics, but goddamn this one is FUNNY. You can tell a lot of thought was put into this freaking masterpiece

Captured by the Game by rivkat. 54K Words

AU. Azazel has given his favorite son a task: worm his way into the confidence of a hunter. It sounds simple, but Dean Winchester just might be more than Sam can handle.

It wasn’t real by NaughtyPastryChef. 1K Words

Sam is trying to explain to Dean where he was when Dean was stuck in purgatory. It starts with "I hit a dog" and then, suddenly, inexplicably, they both know exactly where Sam was.

Wonderful explanation for that arc in season 8 nobody can stand. Plus, time travel, which I’m always a sucker for

Backseat of My Brother's 67 Chevy by NaughtyPastryChef. 1K Words

Extended scene from "Baby". Dean's feeling proud of Sam's hookup until he hears that Sam tried to give that waitress his number. Uncharacteristically, he lets Sam force him to talk about it. 

Bury My Old Soul, and Dance on its Grave by  dreamlittleyo. 2K Words

Dean knows how far he can push Sam.

Antichrist!Sam and Consort!Dean. Codependent winchesters. Yeah

Graveside Blues by hunenka. 3K Words

He uses his body like a blanket, like a shield.

I like how protective Sam is of Dean here, and it deals with something I don’t see a lot such as the jealousy he would have of Dean’s bond with Amara

own it by orphan_account. 6K Words

But he's never going to be able to burn the image of Sam cradling one hand around the perfect curve of Dean's face, dropping the other to the cut of Dean's hip (made for fingers and tongues to trail down, to taste), walking Dean backward until Dean is flush against the wall and Sam is flush against him. This is something that can't be denied.

John finds out. Explores the wonderful trope of both Sam and his father being possessive of Dean, and being very antagonistical to each other. Dysfunctional family yay. Also very porny

Fics by astolat

Punxsutawney. 9K Words

* astolat thinks any plot worth doing is worth doing TWICE

This is the Mistery Spot plot, but a little different. Sam AND Dean wake up to the same day over and over again. So they talk.

Kings and Queens and Jokers, Too. 4K Words

"Yeah, you boys nailed that trickster real good," Bobby said, dry as dust.

People are acting weird around the brothers. Can’t really say anything else without spoiling it. Listen just do yourself a favor and read it. 

options. 500 Words

Decisions, decisions. 

Short and funny. Little bit porny

Desired. 2K Words

He hadn't even known about any of this himself until Sam found it, figured it out for him. He hadn't known how it was going to be.

So, smut. They have a better time when Dean is the one who asks for it

Rockabye Sammy... by  AnotherWorld3111. 1K Words

Sam can’t sleep, so Dean tries to help.

Sam keeps hallucinating Lucifer. Dean is worried and protective of him. Porny

We Know Each Other As We Always Were by mickeym. 45K Words

In 1941, while the world is at war, Sam Winchester falls in love with his brother. They're young, they're in love, and in spite of the hardships of life around them, the world is a pretty good one for them. Until Dec. 7th, 1941, when Japan launches an air attack on Pearl Harbor, sending the US to war against Japan. Dean Winchester feels he needs to join the Army; needs to help fight the good fight and help save lives. He promises he'll return, but can he keep that promise?

GAH this is so romantic! It’s an AU, but I feel like they’re very in character. It feels like a novel

For The End of My Broken Heart by Wickedtruth. 59K Words

Dad's disappeared and Sam's left to pick up the pieces of his broken brother. Post Devil's Trap AU.

Very codependent Winchesters. Also John finds out. 

here at the end of all things by  remy (iamremy). 40K Words

AU from Season 12 onwards. The British Men of Letters win in the USA, and slowly manage to establish their bases and authority over the whole country. They also capture Sam Winchester and keep him prisoner for eleven months, experimenting on him regularly before wiping his memories so that he has no idea what has been done to him.

Even after Dean rescues him and they begin planning to get revenge once and for all, the niggling doubt at the back of Sam's head remains -- what did they do to him? Why won't his anxiety get better? And what is it that he's missing?

Ok you got me, this is gen. But the whole fic feels like a (good) Supernatural episode, it’s so realistic and canon-like. The relationship between the brothers is just like the one we see on the show, meaning desperately codependent and wincest in every subtext.

Fics by deadlybride / zmediaoutlet

What I like about @zmediaoutlet is that she takes the time to write everyone in character. It’s always as canonical as possible and it feels real

femme. 4K Words

Rummaging around the internet, Dean finds a kink he hadn't seen before; Sam explains, and demonstrates.

I love feminization, but unfourtunately there’s only one fic that does it right, and it’s this one

gratification. 2K Words

It's not a compulsion. Dean just likes it.

breña. 1K Words

Sam and Dean wait, knowing what's coming.

The night before Sam jumps in the box

not the good things, nor the bad. 20K

Dean wavers in a grey area between being taken and giving in.

Part of it started with the kinks series, but you can read this just fine without the other parts. It deals very beautifully with Dean’s thoughts regarding his bond with Amara and his sexuality

DeMille Has Nothing On Us by  HandsAcrossTheSea. 13K Words

"Hey Dean - wanna film it?"

This is part of the Those Hazy Days I Do Remember series, but you can 100% read it as a stand-alone, no problem. Sam and Dean film each other and this has that season 1 vibe, of just two brothers on the road. It’s slightly OOC, just because of how touchy-feely they are. But that’s something I sometimes wish we could have on the show, anyway

How many floors to realize by Lazy Daze. 26K Words

AU from the end of It’s A Terrible Life, in which Zachariah decides to keep stringing them along a little while longer, because damn if they aren’t somewhat entertaining, right?”

Rabid by i-am-therefore-i-fight 

Beautiful!! I love @i-am-therefore-i-fight‘s take on demon!dean. It’s different to what we’re used to. This fic is very angsty but has a happy ending

Bitten by a True Believer by kermiethefrog. 3K Words

“C’mon, Sammy,” Dean says. Flashes him a wicked grin, charcoal-eyes. The way he spreads out on Sam’s mattress, bare and offering himself up like Holy fucking Communion, drums heat under Sam’s skin, and he’s never sure if it’s arousal or anger when he’s faced with the demon. “Show me a good time, big guy.”

Another demon!dean fic. I like how even as he is a demon, he is still desperate for Sam’s attention

The Time Traveler's Brother by  AmyPond45. 54K Words

Dean's life is turned upside down the night his mother dies. But that's also the night a mysterious grown-up version of Dean's brother first appears in his life. While Dean grows up, "Old Sam" is often there, especially when Dean's father isn't. As Dean learns what the future holds, he begins to question everything his father has taught him about who he is and what he is supposed to become. Can Dean find a way to save his little brother from his own future?

This is based on The Time Traveler’s Wife, which is my favorite book. Don’t worry, you don’t have to have read it to understand this fic

need against need against need by dollylux. 5K Words

Jack spends his first night in the bunker with Sam and Dean. (Jack POV)

Don’t worry, Jack just watches and ponders about the Winchester’ realationship

the centre cannot hold by orphan_account. 6K Words

Sam does not remember; Dean does. All Dean can do is watch, and mourn.

But then Castiel becomes God, and the world starts to break at the edges (and maybe that isn't a bad thing.)

It kinda becomes a character study, while the brothers deal with what happened during the Soulless!Sam period

The Last Temptation by bccalling. 1K Words

When Sam tells Mary about all the things he and Dean get up to in the dark, Mary wants in, and Sam sees his opportunity to make Dean’s every fantasy come true.

Mary shows up. Porny and very sweet

Angels and Demons by  OhWilloTheWisp. 9K Words

AU angels and demons are animals. Sam was not happy when his owner, Ruby, left him boarded at a kennel. He was even less happy when he discovered an angel in the same facility. But his encounter with the angel will end much differently than anyone would have guessed. He may have never expected his mate to be angel, but now that's found him he won't let anyone keep them apart.

Sam and Dean are kinda like animals here but there’s nothing sexual. It’s very sweet and romantic. Anna/Ruby in here as well

[jbuffyangel]

Second Chances: Arrow 8x04 Review (Present Tense)

Holy frack there is a lot to unpack. 

Ha! That rhymes.  Let’s dig in….

***Skipping the Quick and Dirty because this review is very late, so I figure y’all know the basic plot from other sources by now.

 Oliver and William

Let’s start with the simpler of the two relationships between father and child. Oliver is still reeling from Mia’s, “Dad?” when William runs into his arms because he is the softest bear to ever live. 

Source: norahasotherstuff

He’s missed his dad so much and it’s pure, overwhelming joy that propels him forward without a minute of hesitation. I love how free William is with his emotions. He’s a bursting ball of light and love. Reminds me of someone.

Oliver’s understanding of who this is sinks in when he feels his son’s arms around him. SOB.  

Source: olicitygifs 

William is the first of anybody to understand they are in the past. Or present. Or something. The lack of crappy makeup and horrifically bad wigs in the first tip off, but the fact Oliver isn’t six feet underground is the primary clue for this Hardy boy.

Source: feilcityqueen 

Oliver and William are given some time to catch up back at the apartment. Oliver’s immediate instinct is to call Felicity and tell her what is going on. 

Look my friends! The writers remembered there are things called PHONES on Earth 1. 

Isn’t honest and communicative Oliver so refreshing? It’d be so nice if his wife could enjoy it on screen. 

William shuts down getting in touch with Felicity because he doesn’t know the time travel rules. 

Are we Back to the Future or Avengers Endgame? William doesn’t know, so they shouldn’t contact Felicity yet.

Honestly, this entire conversation is just to address the perfunctory, “How do we handle MIA Emily Bett Rickards?” question.

For the record, I think Oliver not calling Felicity even once onscreen is bullshit. 

But here’s the thing – Emily is not part of Arrow Season 8 until the finale. End of discussion. We’re going to get lots of Felicity references and I think the writers have done a marvelous job of giving us content so far despite an unavailable actress. Could they write one-way phone conversations or throw texts up like Jane the Virgin? Sure, but this is Arrow and simple/logical resolutions aren’t their wheelhouse.

Regardless, they certainly aren’t going to deal with the EBR issue every week in every episode. The fans watching the show have to accept at a certain point that Emily Bett Rickards left the show and this is the reason why Felicity is not doing X, Y and Z. We do not need it spelled out for us every week.

Source: olicitygifs 

Olive is desperate for some good news in the future. This is such a fucking Season 7 mood. 

William obliges and tells him that he’s a billionaire corporate tech tycoon. So between his son and Felicity it no longer matters that Oliver signed over his children’s inheritance to a woman he banged one night in Russia. (I added that last part in).

Source: olicitygifs

Oliver is so proud he cries. I sob whenever my child accomplishes pretty much anything, so I feel this is a very accurate representation of parenthood.

It also opens the door for William to come out to his father, which he never had the chance to do. 

My favorite part was when Oliver confessed to William that he and Felicity knew he was gay… because parents always know whether they can admit it or not. 

Source: tylerposey 

Oliver cries again (right there with you buddy) and it’s a lovely scene. The basic takeaway is just love your kids.

Source: olicitygifs 

 Bless William for being excited about what I am excited about – they have a second chance to get to know each other. It’s easier for William and Oliver because they already built the foundation. There’s a lot to catch up on, but the bond between father and son is established. William has spent the last 20 years wishing he could talk to his dad and he’s not wasting this opportunity. No matter how bizarre it is.

William is the one to tell Present Team Arrow about how awful the future is and again, we’re already changing the future if this, in fact, Back to the Future rules. Rene knows his daughter dies and he becomes a corrupt politician. Oliver knows that Star City is still going to hell in a hand-basket despite all his sacrifices.

Barry gets a coffee and the key to the city in the second season. Oliver has been hero-ing for eight years and things still turn out crappy in the future. Sometimes it really sucks to be an Arrow fan. And yet I stay because I am a masochist who enjoys pain and excruciatingly difficult hero’s journeys. Something is seriously wrong with me.

Oliver is deep in brooding mode, sharpening arrows, after Mia yells at him for “playing dad” and leaves with L*urel. William wants to know why he didn’t stop her and the truth is Oliver thinks she’s right. He chose to leave. He has not earned the right to be her father. Not like he has with William.

But Oliver is forgetting he went through this with William. He blamed Oliver for his mother’s death.

Yes, William is a child and Mia is an adult. Yes, Oliver had to break his promise. He physically walked away to save their lives. But he remained devoted in his love and all the rest all remains true. The only way to earn being someone’s parent is to be their parent.

William’s grief over losing his mother was overwhelming. He was angry with Oliver, resented his choices and the way he was parenting him. Oliver and William had a very rocky start, but those rocks are the foundation of their relationship today. It’s the reason why Oliver and William know they can start again because they have done it before.

All of William’s pain and suffering has made him into exactly the kind of brother Mia needs now. He understands her anger at Oliver. He also knows that despite her anger and whether she can admit it or not, Mia desperately needs Oliver.

William’s experiences also made him into the kind of son who can guide his father’s hand. William is saying, “Hey. You’ve been here before. Remember? You found the way with me and you can find the way with Mia.”

Felicity would be proud.

This also gives William the opportunity to hash out some remaining issues with his father because things are not all roses with them either. Oliver is still hurt William left to live with his grandparents, because it happened a few months ago. William is the weathered soul in this war and has gained an interesting perspective on the experience.

Oliver: I thought you hated my guts.

William: I hated you for abandoning me.

Oliver: I tried.

William: True, but I wanted you to try harder. Push a little more. I think that’s all any child wants from their parents.

Oliver and Felicity can argue William moving in with his grandparents was the best thing for him at the time, but I refuse to believe anyone is better for him than his parents. William has realized deep down he never wanted his dad and Felicity to let him go. Kids test their parents and this was a particular test William wished his father fought harder.

And I have to agree. I thought it was insane that Oliver and Felicity let William go live with his grandparents. I can’t remember if S7 Jen thought that, but S8 Jen sure does. 

The reality of their living situation hadn’t really changed all that much from when Oliver first became William’s primary care giver.  He was the Green Arrow the entire time. That’s why they hired Raisa. A couple bad guys break into the apartment and they ship the kid off? William is ticked at Oliver for going to prison, so he decides to LEAVE? How does that make sense? And why are we letting the 13 year old call the shots? I honestly couldn’t believe they agreed.

And we all know Oliver and Felicity’s reasoning is faulty because the writing doesn’t make any sense. The worst thing about these flash forwards is William not knowing who Mia is in order to keep the reveal a shock. They really expect us to believe Felicity never comes back for William? Gimme a break. I’m all for surprises, but not at the sake of the story.

The writers are trying to clean up the mess and resolve some of the drama, but it is Oliver and Felicity who unfortunately end up holding the bag. It doesn’t make either of their characters look great, but I can ultimately forgive it as well because it feeds a much larger truth about parents and their children.

Parents – you’re going to screw up.

Kids – you have to decide how much those screw ups will screw you up.

This is why Thea’s words to Oliver last week are so important. He was going to make mistakes whether he stayed with his family or not, but those mistakes do not diminish his love for his children. It all forms who his children will become. And hey – nobody is as messy as Robert and Moira Queen and the Queen siblings turned out okay.

Oliver and Felicity made a mistake by letting William leave. They aren’t perfect parents. Nobody is. The point is to learn, keep trying and fight harder. Ultimately, it’s up to William and Mia to decide whether or not to forgive their parents for being human beings.  Every child must come to terms with the mistakes their parents make, weigh it against their intentions and love, and then decide whether or not to forgive them. This is part of becoming an adult.

Oliver: I’m sorry.

William: It’s ok. Dad, I’m glad that you’re in my life. Then and now.  And Mia will be too.

William chooses to forgive his father. It’s a beautiful and honest moment between father and son. This is exactly the kind of bonding and healing I wanted Oliver to have with his children – a second chance.

Oliver and Mia

Let’s keep in mind the last time Oliver saw Mia she was in her crib, so seeing a fully grown young woman before him requires some adjustment, 

Source: lucyyh 

but Papa Bear rebounds nicely. Stephen Amell mixes pride, confusion, joy and love in this perfectly delivered line.

Source: olivergifs 

In typical Oliver fashion his first question is if the kids are okay. He steps toward Mia to hug her, but she is in complete shock and totally overwhelmed.

Source: olicitygifs 

The barrier between her dead father and her very much alive father is breaking down with the reality of their situation, but Mia cannot accept it yet. Her pain is almost immediate and she steps away from Oliver. A line in the sand is drawn. He can’t come closer. It hurts too much and she’s not ready.  Reminds me of someone.

It hurts Oliver just as much as when Felicity did the same thing. 

Mia should have been wearing The Red Coat of Pain.  

Source: olicitygifs 

Look, if my 34-year-old daughter time traveled from the future to the present it’d be a puzzler for sure, but cool as hell and I’d smush her perfect face in a microsecond. Way to represent Oliver.

Rene and Dinah are extremely confused why Oliver has a daughter and he’s all, “Oh yeah. Cool story.” He’s explaining to Thing 1 and Thing 2, but Oliver is really talking to Mia. He doesn’t take his eyes off her and he shares the story of her birth. SOB.

Source: olicitygifs

I love Diggle’s they-told-me-because-I’m-not-just-anyone look here. Oliver apologizes to Dinah and Rene for finding out about Mia like this and they immediately understand why he lied and have zero problems with it. It’s your basic personality lobotomy because this is the final season (kumbaya) and there’s no time for the newbies to be their usual toddler selves.

Rene wants to know when the kiddos can fill them in on all the 2040 gossip and hey that’s a good point. (Holy hell I’m agreeing with Rene. It’s the end times my friends). Dinah and Rene don’t find out about Mia until twenty years later, so the future has already begun to change. Oliver wants the kids to share all their Back to the Future goodies once they’re comfortable.

Spoiler alert: They’re not comfortable.

Connor tells Mia and William he was about to kill his brother (there’s your confirmation if you were in any way unclear about Connor’s intentions). Mia has zero problems with Connor killing JJ, but is angry he escaped. Yup, this tracks with Mia’s morality since she’s basically Season 1 Oliver. William reminds her that it doesn’t really make a difference now because JJ is five and they can’t Baby Hitler him.

I saw that look Mia Smoak Queen. 

Source: amunetblack 

She decides as team leader they should keep their mouths shut because nobody wants to tell Diggle his biological son goes all evil and kills Rene’s daughter. I mean… yeah… tricky conversation starter. Do you do it over coffee? Vodka. I feel booze could really help the situation a lot.

This means that FTA is going to lie to OTA and William correctly asserts this plan is insane because this is Original Team Arrow. They aren’t dummies. Well sure, now they aren’t but oh kids. Do I have some stories for you.

Oliver takes the kids back to his apartment and Mia gets the first real sense of what it was like for Felicity to live with Oliver. 

Source: olicitygifs

I know Felicity had pictures of Oliver in the cabin, but this is their life before Mia. A life she was not part of yet. My mother once took me to the house she grew up in and the owners allowed us to look around. It was so wonderfully odd to put a place to all the stories I heard growing up, but nothing was like I imagined it.

The shock is wearing off and this is the first moment Mia’s anger bubbles to the surface. This was supposed to be her home, where she grew up with her father, mother and brother. None of that happened because Oliver “disappeared” according to William.

It would seem like a simple answer - wouldn’t it? Felicity took the children to Oliver’s grave. One can naturally conclude this means he is dead, but William says he’s not sure what happened. Y’all, if you are still stressing about Oliver remaining dead after this show goes off air then turn your attention to the Grand Canyon sized back door the Arrow writers just wrote in. They can’t even say he is dead.

Oliver has been pondering his mortality for 12 years, and particularly now, so he absorbs this information extremely well. But the hits keep on coming as William fills him in on the rest – how he didn’t grow up with Mia and never saw Felicity again until 20 years later.

Mia chimes in with a bitter, “Yeah it was just me and Mom at the cabin.” Oliver’s pain when he realizes his “disappearance” is the trigger for his precious family splintering apart is just gut wrenching. 

Source:  feilcityqueen

Yes, he saved their lives, but it was not the life he hoped for any of them.

Oliver wants to catch up on 20 years of history, but Mia’s not looking to hug and cry and learn and grow. The chill when she leaves the room to go to bed let’s Oliver know exactly where he stands with his daughter. She’s freezing him out.

Oliver is worried Mia will never give him the chance to get to know her, but William reassures his father. Mia is stubborn and hard to read. I’d like to add distrustful, moody and impulsive. 

As Oliver’s mini me it’s perfectly acceptable to hold him accountable, which leads to some warm and good-natured ribbing between father and son.

Source: olicitygifs 

Mia reassures Present Team Arrow the Deathstroke gang isn’t a problem in the future after they blow up the hospital. Deathstroke gang? Pfft. Never heard of them. I’d also like to add liar, liar pants on fire to the personality traits Mia shares with her father.

And since they’re on a roll, Mia and William also reassure they are still friends with Zoe and she’s farting sunshine and rainbows.

Source: renesramirez

Ugh. Brutal.

Mia and Connor are convinced JJ is the leader of the Deathstroke gang. William tries to reason with them. He suddenly has a gang and is organized enough to start blowing up buildings within a few hours of arriving from a different time period? When you talk it out it doesn’t make sense. (She says to Last Week Jen who totally though JJ was the leader of the Deathstroke gang in present time too).

They go to the original Deathstroke hideout and discover it’s really Grant Wilson. It’s a nice tie into the Legends of Tomorrow’s “Star City 2046” which is the first time we met the wonderful David-Joseph Jones. 

Present Team Arrow shows up to save their asses and Oliver gets to rescue another Smoak female from a bomb. 

Source: felicitysmoak 

Ah… memories. 

 When all the lies come tumbling out it’s not pretty.

Rene picks Zoe up and plans to work his way through a pint of mint chip with her, which is an extremely valid life choice given the news he’s just received. But could you get the kid some ice cream she actually likes? I agree disliking mint chip is MADNESS, but she’s going to die in twenty years so chocolate it is.

Dinah meets up with Rene and tries to convince him the future can be changed.

Rene: How am I supposed to wake up every morning knowing how many days we have left together?

Dinah: By trying to change what happens. Trying every single day.

Arrow is known for their less than subtle cuts and what immediately follows Dinah’s statement is an argument between Oliver and Mia. 

Source: Paige 

She is unable to sit on the sidelines anymore while the team researches Grant and his Deathstroke gang. Oliver wants to help Mia with her grief, but she can’t even admit her grief let alone desperately needing her father.

What’s so sad about this scene is Oliver is right. He’s been there. He understands exactly what Mia is feeling. All of Oliver’s loss and suffering have made him into the man and father his daughter needs. But Mia won’t let him in and a large part of that is because she’s just like him. It’s like a mirror of himself eight years ago is being reflected back at him.

Oliver and Mia are put their cards on the table. She is right. Parenthood is earned. It is not something that is magically created from biology. Anyone can have a child and call themselves a “parent”, but a real parent puts their child above their own selfish needs and wants.

And that’s what Oliver Queen did. There is no place on earth Oliver wanted to be more than in the cabin with Mia, Felicity (and William) for the last twenty years. If Oliver was a selfish man, he would’ve spent the rest of his days with them and let everyone perish in the Crisis. Oliver was going to die no matter what, so why not hold on to the only peace and happiness he’s ever known? At least they’d be together.

But Oliver could never make that choice because he is selfless. Mia is right – Oliver is a hero, but his need to be recognized as such is not the reason he left her. Oliver wanted Mia, William and Felicity to have the life they deserved – even if it meant one without him. He is willing to die for them.

His decision cost Mia her father, but it was a price Oliver was willing to pay. The only thing more unimaginable to Oliver than missing out on raising Mia is Mia not being part of this world. Oliver put his child’s life above his own because his precious, remarkable, beautiful, strong, and smart Mia is his world.

Do I think Mia is being cruel to Oliver? No. I think she’s being honest. This is how she feels.

Children have a remarkable way of blaming themselves for decisions their parents made. 

Oliver is fighting the good fight like it’s any other day. There must have been something deficient in Mia that made moving on from his daughter so easy.

Source: arrowdaily

Mia may be grown, but she’s still a child in so many ways and particularly when it comes to father. All she can see is the man who chose to leave her. All Mia can feel is what she lost.

We cannot cheapen the depth of her grief by expecting Mia to be okay with her dad dying. Yes, he’s saving the world (and she is in the world), but Oliver didn’t need to save the city or the universe to be Mia’s hero. Nor can she accept the why because the result is the same.

Oliver missed Chrismukkah, trick or treating and birthdays. He missed snuggling on the couch and reading stories. He missed teaching Mia how to tie her shoes, ride a bike, shoot an arrow, defend herself or drive. Oliver missed comforting Mia when she was sad and sick. He missed making her laugh. He doesn’t know when Mia took her first steps, or her favorite food, or the name of her kindergarten teacher, or the grades she got in school, or the first boy who broke her heart. Oliver missed twenty years.

Mia didn’t lose a biological parent. She lost a man who loves her with every cell. Mia lost a man who would’ve shown up for her every day. She lost a man who would’ve protected, taught and loved her unconditionally. Mia Smoak Queen lost her DAD.

She’s supposed to what? Get to know Oliver? Mia’s supposed to accept all the stories Felicity told about her father were real, so the depth of her loss can be driven deeper because now she knows how wonderful he is?

Uhhh… pass. It’s easier for Mia to hate him. Of course, it’s easier.

It wouldn’t be a Queen family reunion without a little physical violence. Mia threatens to throw down with Daddy if he doesn’t get out of her way. Honestly, letting her get a couple good swings in Oliver might be highly therapeutic. I clearly didn’t study psychology, but I’m just here thinking my thoughts.

Oliver must be “some guy in her way” because the alternative, letting her father all the way in only to lose him again, it’s unbearable for Mia at this point.

Source: miasmoakdaily 

Oliver decides to try harder with Mia after William harnesses his light, which means FATHER/DAUGHTER IN THE FIELD TIME! 

Oliver’s protective dad mode is fully activated, but Mia has other plans. She’s about to take Grant Wilson out when Oliver ties him up with an arrow rope. Undeterred, she switches a knife for an arrow and takes aim.

Oliver calls out to Mia in his deep, growly Arrow voice, which gets her attention because it’s scary and it gets everybody’s attention.  IT’S STERN DADDY TIME! YASSS!!!  

Oliver physically steps in front of Grant Wilson because this is road he has gone down and as long as there is breath in his body he will not watch his daughter go down it too. 

This is what is so satisfying about Oliver Queen's story. 

He has learned from his mistakes and can be the hero, and father, his daughter needs now. 

Mia can hate him all she wants, but Oliver will not let her kill anyone.

Mia listens because what she needs more than anything right now is her dad. It’s a real and honest moment between the two where Oliver uses everything he’s learned to help Mia make the right decision. And Mia, whether she can admit it or not, wants to learn from Oliver. He earns being her dad by being her dad.

Stick a fork in me because I AM DONE. Do you know this moment is everything? Because it is EVERYTHING. First, Mia may not let Oliver hug her, but she lets him ask if she’s okay and even answers. This, my friends, is what we call progress. Mia also has to know Oliver’s history and she doesn’t want her father to think she didn’t have the stones to kill someone.

But it’s what Oliver said in return that is so meaningful because he knows after killing someone all that is left are the dark questions that haunt you. Did I do the right thing? What kind of person does this make me?

Of all the terrible holes Oliver had to crawl out of, this was his darkest. This was the secret Oliver feared was true. This lie was so easy to believe because Oliver blamed himself for Robert’s death. What kind of person kills their own father? What kind of person keeps killing? It was so frightening for Oliver to confront that he lost Felicity to avoid it.  Then it was forced out of him only after being tortured for days by Adrian Chase.

Mia would’ve killed Grant Wilson because she thought it was necessary. She believed it would serve the greater good and save lives. But it doesn’t mean Mia would’ve enjoyed killing Grant Wilson. It doesn’t mean she is undeserving of love, unforgivable or irredeemable. It doesn’t mean Mia is a monster.

The questions are already haunting Mia. Oliver can see it in her eyes, but he has the answers for her. Oliver tells his daughter who she is and Mia knows he truly sees her. And her wall starts to come down.

Source: oliverxfelicity

This show began as a story between father and child and, for better or worse; this is where it will always return. Arrow is about family, generational sin and atonement. It will always come back to Robert Queen.

Oliver takes Mia to her grandfather’s grave because this is where the violence, loss and guilt all began. It swallowed Oliver whole for so many years. It was an agonizing hole to climb out of.  He wants Mia and William’s life to be better. Oliver didn’t truly understand his father until after he was dead. He wants it to be different with his children.

Source: oliverxfelicity

Mia’s journey started with the “death” of her father. Just like Robert. Her mother is “gone.”  Just like Moira.  Zoe died protecting Mia. She was the hero Mia was trying so hard to be. Just like Tommy. Mia made a decision and it cost someone their life. Just like Shado.  

And on and on it goes. All that’s left is the crippling guilt of survival.  

All Oliver can offer Mia is the truth.

It’s a truth he’s learned the long, hard and painful way.

“This guy's walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out." – Leo McGarry, West Wing

Oliver knows the way out of the hole Mia is in because he’s been there before. Her father reaches for his daughter’s hand and she reaches back.  Oliver had to find his light these past eight years, so he could be the light for his children. Hopefully, her father can make Oliver journey a little easier and a little brighter for Mia.  That’s all any parent wants to do for their children.

Source: olivergifs

Oliver makes his world famous Monte Cristo for William. 

He introduces Mia to them the same way Felicity introduced William to these delectable late night snacks. 

Down to the freaking mannerisms. Well done Ben Lewis.

These are the kind of stories Mia heard, but never experienced. These are the moments she and Oliver missed. The moments neither of them thought they’d ever get back.

The wall comes down. Not all the way, but enough. Mia lets her dad make her a snack. And begins their second chance.

Source: olicitygifs

Diggle and Connor

I said last week it’ll be interesting how Diggle reacts to a son he doesn’t even know he’s going to have. Well… it was a lot like this in the beginning.

Ouch. Sorry Connor. In Diggle’s defense this is a mind blower and the kids don’t know when they’ve landed. Connor doesn’t understand why his father can’t recognize him as a son, but Diggle hasn’t adopted him yet. The last time Diggle this child’s perfect face was when he saved Connor and Sandra, his mother.

The whole custody issue is problematic and John has to download a lot of information, with some sobering realizations, to comprehend what happened. Put it this way. If you discovered you have a kid that you didn’t know about it would take more than a few minutes to sink in.

It does eventually sink in, but Diggle and Connor are still a little uncomfortable around each other. Unfortunately, Mama Lyla is unavailable to serve as wing man during the uncomfortable getting-to-know-you phase. Diggle offers a very sweet, “We always wanted a brother for JJ.” HOW ABOUT A SISTER? (side eyes Barry Allen).

Connor responds to Diggle’s attempt at bonding by lying through his teeth about JJ. Sure, Dad we’re best friends. No Diggle brother curse in the future? Noooope.

Although, from Connor’s perspective, John’s remark could be taken from a slightly different slant. Diggle’s first real moment of warmth was connected to JJ, his biological son. The son he has a relationship with already. John is leaning into what he knows as he navigates this new relationship - not unlike what Oliver is doing with William and Mia.

But John must look at Connor through a JJ lens in order to act paternal towards him. Diggle didn’t do anything wrong and he certainly didn’t mean anything by it, but this doesn’t put Connor at ease. Particularly since he almost murdered the only son Diggle knows and loves. It’s easy to see why he’s keeping that information close to the chest.

Dinah hears through the door Connor calling Grant Wilson JJ, which is a pretty weak plot point, but it gets us where we need to go. Connor tries to cover his lies by telling Dinah she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but we get a very stern Papa Diggle in response.

John: Then you tell me Connor.

This is the first glimpse we’ve seen of John being the firm disciplinarian who holds his sons accountable for each other’s actions. It was hard to imagine Diggle this way when JJ and Connor were reminiscing about their childhoods, but David Ramsey made me believe it in one line.

This is the father Connor knows. Nothing like a little parental authority to make a kid crumble like dominoes. He comes clean and we get a little history too. Grant Wilson did bring the Deathstroke gang to Star City, but JJ eventually inherits the leadership position and is the craziest of all the cray.

Rene is understandably heartbroken over Zoe, in a rage over JJ, and a little pissed off at John. I’m always uncomfortable when this show makes me sympathize with any member of NTA, but here we are, nonetheless. 

Diggle just found out his son is a murdering psychopath, so it hasn’t been a great day for him either. However, it seems Diggle is the only one who watched Back to the Future and believes this horror show we affectionately call the Flash Forwards can change. It could even be the reason why the Monitor sent the children to the present. Jesus, let it be true.

The writers wouldn’t have brought it up if they weren’t going to change some things about the future. I still don’t think we’ll avert the twenty-year separation. (Can the writing gods be that kind?) But Present Team Arrow will help Future Team Arrow become better heroes. Zoe will survive and JJ, by not killing Zoe, will become a redeemable villain. I’m sure some other stuff will change too, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Connor: It was like I stole the love that should have been his.

UGH. Kiddo that is so not how parenting works. Connor is overwhelmed with guilt over JJ and completely blames himself for his actions. It’s not difficult to understand why he feels this way. This is how John raised them. When one brother did something wrong the other was held accountable. But now Connor and JJ are flipped from their childhood. The “good brother” became the “bad brother” and vice versus.

Diggle: What do you want me to say?

Oof. 

This is not Diggle’s best parenting moment, but let’s juts call a spade a spade. The reason why Diggle is not acting like a father to Connor is because he doesn’t feel like his father. John and Lyla haven’t adopted Connor yet. Diggle doesn’t know him. The stranger standing before him now has lied from minute one about the only son he does know.

He has a nice heart to heart with Dinah once he’s calmed down. It took John all of 5 seconds to draw the Andy comparisons, so he’s just piling one guilt on top of another and blaming himself. Hmm… I wonder if that’s where Connor gets it from?

Dinah: Knowing what’s happened can either destroy us or save us. We’ve seen our worst. Now let’s be our best.

Damn. This is a seriously great speech. Holy crap I enjoyed a Dinah moment. I can’t remember the last time that happened. 

If you think this series is ending with the future destroyed and everyone being their worst then I’ve taught you nothing. Follow the yellow brick road. We’re almost home.

Diggle can finally see through his anger and pain when he watches Connor at his best. John can finally see who Connor is when he defuses the bomb.He sees Connor’s intelligence, composure selflessness and bravery. Diggle sees his son. And Connor is everything Diggle dreamed a son could be.

Diggle: You read to go home?

Connor: You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to be a reminder of everything bad that happened to JJ and to your family.

Source: Paige 

It’s everything Connor needed to hear and more. Father and son find their way to forgiveness and it’s a path to a second chance.  

And because Arrow loves us this means shirtless father/son training session. Well, half shirtless. This is the content I am here to see.

Source: Paige

L*urel L*nce

L*urel goes with Mia on recon so she doesn’t slug her dad in the face. She also knows Mia is going to kill Grant Wilson.

L*urel: Clearly no one has informed you that I used to play for team villain. And I can spot a murderous intent a million miles away.

Is L*urel’s background and history being used for a plot point in a way that makes total and absolute sense? The mind reels at the possibility.

Mia’s reasoning for killing Grant Wilson is sound. They tried locking him up in the future, but he always escapes which helps earn his cult status and JJ’s admiration. Mia believes if she kills Grant Wilson then Zoe will live. The guilt she feels over Zoe’s death is too much to bear. She will do absolutely anything to fix it – even if it costs Mia her soul.

Damn… I wonder where I’ve heard this story before.

L*urel knows a thing or two about vengeance and tries to reach Mia by explaining how Felicity was once in a similar position. L*urel talked her out of killing Ricardo Diaz and SAVED THE DAY!

I’m not gonna say anything. It’s fine. Inaccuracies happen all the time in this show. I can let this go

No, I can’t let this go. 

This isn’t exactly how things went down with L*urel, Felicity and Diaz. Yes, L*urel gave Felicity a similar “once you let the darkness in it never comes out” speech in early Season 7. However, she wasn’t overly vexed about Felicity doing some violence. In fact, she was damn near proud of her every time Felicity crossed a line. And L*urel was right there with her. when she did.

Nor was L*urel the reason Felicity didn’t kill Diaz. The first time she pointed a gun at Diaz was when she finally captured him. Felicity was about to pull the trigger when Laurel came in and said she made a deal with the Feds. Oliver would be released from prison if he helped the FBI with their case against Diaz. Yes, L*urel told Felicity she didn’t want to kill Diaz, but she was not the reason Felicity put that gun down. Oliver was.

The second and final time Felicity threatened to kill Diaz she convinced herself. Felicity realized he was no longer a threat. She decides not to kill Diaz because she’s stronger than him. Felicity Smoak is a BAMF and nobody gets to take this moment from her.

I’m not saying L*urel doesn’t deserve any credit. She does, but in typical arrogant BC form she beats the self-congratulatory drum too loud and makes herself the sole savior of Felicity Smoak. No, honey. Not even close.

It’s also frustrating because I wish it was Felicity telling this story to her daughter and not LL. Just one of the many “It sucks that Emily wasn’t in the episode” moments. 

Source: dcladies

At least L*urel recognizes Felicity and Mia are not “women who allow themselves to be talked out of anything.” But this statement negates the “Because I talked her out of it” nonsense she was spewing 15 seconds earlier. Sigh. So close yet so far.

Can we just have one episode where this character makes total and absolute sense? Just one episode we hit on all L*urel cylinders. An episode she feels relevant, doesn’t act like a judgmental, hypocritical, ungrateful asshole, and her history isn’t blatantly ignored for the sake of plot contrivance, and doesn’t contradict herself every five seconds? It would just be nice.

 Stray Thoughts

Nothing makes me sadder than the director choosing a more toned-down delivery of Ben Lewis’, “Excuse me what year is it?” than the one in the promo because the line in the promo was hysterical.

Dinah wonders why The Monitor didn’t bring L*urel back to Star City too - once again highlighting how annoyed The Monitor is she’s still alive and how inconsequential she is to any of his plans. Snort.

To be fair, (because I am for neutral reporting here and Something To Live For) Rene wonders why The Monitor didn’t bring Zoe and JJ back. He probably would have if she wasn’t dead and JJ wasn’t evil.

Connor’s, “Hey are you okay?” to Mia was so soft and nearly identical in tone to whenever Oliver says “Hey” to Felicity, which this means he wants all the babies with her. That’s the maths.

Did they blow up the doctor?

Oliver bragging William is a billionaire to Rene was the cutest to ever cute.

“You’d be proud.” William’s emotional double meaning requires beaucoup de tissues. Yeah, I’m tossing some French you’re way. Gotta keep things fresh.

“Ugh. Curtis. I did not miss you. Not even a little bit.” From my notes watching live.

I feel like this Councilman Rene thing kind of came out of nowhere in the present time, but I’m not actually invested in it so whatever.

“I cannot believe that is your son. I can however definitely believe that is your daughter.” Okay, this was funny and only made funnier by Oliver’s annoyance. Curtis is there for a hot minute and already bugging him. Dude so much same.

Yes, canaries are plural Dinah. Nobody is happy about it.

The Canary set up for the spin off was LAME.

Connor: There’s a Canary network in the future.

Dinah & L*urel: Let’s eat French fries dipped in milkshakes (trademark LL bonding) and create a Canary network.

Soooo… killing Vinny isn’t a thing anymore? When did that not become a thing? Dinah and L*urel have barely spoke this season and now they are besties? I see shoehorning canaries into plot because of contractual obligations will continue in the spin off. Yippee.

“At least we didn’t die.” Oliver Jonas Queen, God gave you a daughter just like you because He is a just and fair God.

I cannot call it Original Team Arrow because they are missing an original member so it’s Present Team Arrow until Felicity’s return.

“I’m not exactly a big fan of your father’s. He’s kind of a dick.” Should’ve let her fry, Oliver.

“John, we’re good. You too, Connor. I can’t be mad at either of you for something I will never let happen.” WHY ARE ALL THE CHARACTERS MAKING SENSE AND SAYING THINGS I LOVE? I’M SCARED HOLD ME.

I am Oliver. My twenty-something friends are William. LOL Source:  felicitysmoak

How has Mia not watched The Shawshank Redemption?

"Mom really liked playing fast and loose with the fourth amendment huh?" WILLIAM’S. BEST. LINE. EVER.

They brought in Curtis to usurp William's skills. Yup, he really is Felicity 2.0.

Has Mia been wearing a Green Arrow suit the whole season and I never noticed or was she just in really great leather this week? I can’t tell on my TV screen.

OMG this moment gave me LIFE. I will be abusing that gif of William. Source:  arrowdaily

If Connor learned what an intervalometer bomb is from John then did John learn it from Connor? Wrap your noodle around that time travel mind bender.

Mia’s hair was so extra this week. Source:  miasmoakdaily

All I wanted this entire episode was for Mia, William and Oliver to bake cookies. So I will take payment in the form of Monte Cristos. I’m getting my way a lot this season, so I would also like to ask the Arrow writers for a million dollars. Thanks a bunch.

“Or we make our own hope.” Deathstrokes are off the board for the time being.  The future is getting a second chance too. You can’t hear me but I’m singing the times they are a-changin’

A very special thanks to Muriel for editing all the gifs. You are a live saver and I am so grateful for your help!

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 8x04 gifs credited.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

[spacegaywritings]

Warming Paws and Melting Walls (2/8) “The Naming of the Beast”

Summary: Remy gets home, his day unusually long and body extremely exhausted. Still, he and the cat seem to get along a bit better as they share a bit of time bonding in their weird states.

Tags: mentions of the vet (+ aftermath), abandoned cat, alcohol/wine, tipsy Remy (being a soft man), food/ meat, pain killer mention, drinking, dummy logic, dummy thicc fucking Remy, Remy the cat whisperer, mentions of Kim Kardeshian.. shien..? idk man, slight mention of systemic oppression bc wow Remy is spilling the beans, name talks, cuddling, snuggling, books, mentions of vaccines, soft insults bc Remy, purposefully horrible old english.

ao3: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 // all.

tumblr:  1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8.

My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me

Note: If you miss any tags, have issues with links or any other concerns, please feel free to contact me. Anon is on and my DMs are open.

Story under the cut! (Wordcount: ~3,5k)

 It was late when the kitty cat and Remy returned and in all honestly, the receptionist was more than exhausted and done with everything. The whole day had taken a toll on him and interacting with people under bright lights was obviously not the best for a person with photo-sensitivity and self-diagnosed bitch syndrome.

 His body was hurting, the pain had gotten more intense and rendered him a heavy and sleepy mess. He still needed to feed the cat. While the pain killers had done some to ease his pain, the extra activity had him feel like absolute trash, after all.

At least, the vet had found the little queen to be healthy and taken good care of. It indicated that there were owners or strangers to take care of the kitten but there were no tattoos, no marks or anything. Whatever care the cat had received before, it seemed to be over now. Nobody was looking for the cat as far as the vet and the local pet shelter have told him.

 To make sure the cat would be okay, he got scheduled appointments for vaccinations (the kitty cat already got some that day). In like, a month, he was supposed to come back. Considering the cat was about one year old, it was time to refresh vaccinations anyway, at least that is what the vet said. There was so much information smoking in his brain and it hurt him. It was extra weight putting his head down.

 There was no chip for the kitten.. He would set up an ad on-line to show that the cat was found. He and the vet assume the cat to have run away from home or having been left behind after the family moved. Something like that.

Still, he could try so the cat would not really be his problem anymore. There was obviously no name tag or collar. He would have noticed, he is not that fucking dense. The vet, too.

 At least Remy got some answers for what the fuck this kitten should eat and could not ever eat because it could hurt.

 Also, the cat was a she. Well, too fucking bad Remy settled for they/them pronouns. While he talked to the cat, he could at least practice pronouns he usually did not use much. The cat could not get offended. Totally a win-win situatuon.

 The coffee lover curled up on the couch, kitty cat still somewhat drowsy in his lap.To be honest, the cat felt drunk to him, so Remy did not know better but to nurse his own wine while giving the kitten some chicken he had gotten for them.

 “Queen, you are a really really unbelievable thing”, he started as he looked at the tiny void in his lap that was currently chewing on a last bit of chicken pieces.

 He had removed all that bone stuff and washed off the meat before to make sure it was not seasoned or too greasy and such for the kitten. Totally no need to kill the poor thing when he could just be fucking careful and mind their needs and limits.

 “You know, you get all hot on those funny things and you are living with me now - without paying rent - and like, you do not even give me your a name. You are, like, the most mysterious person I have ever met. Fucking rude, you little harlot.”

 Remy sipped a bit of his wine and placed the package on the table. Yes, he drank wine out of a package because he was a cheap person. He needed to pay off the flat he had bought because his job did not make the most money ever. At least it was enough for him having a somewhat cozy and stable life.

 He carefully shifted under the warm weight of the warm fluff. Remy was so glad the vet cleaned the cat so he did not need to do that. Was that extra service? He definitely paid for this shit, not gonna lie. Well, he would get a bill eventually and then he could still get upset over that. Ultimately, it did not matter right? He had some savings and the cat would be gone soon because it was someone else’s kitty cat.

 It was not even in his place to just cuddle with the kitten while watching some bitch flick. But now that he had to ditch his weekend routine for the cat, they had to suck up for it. Also, he was just in a ton of pain by now and hoping for the local wine package to just knock him out well enough. If his senses were numbed, so were his pain receptors because brain foggy when Remy drunk-y.

 “Listen up, kitty cat. We might need a name for you, darling”, he started and looked down at how they were licking over their muzzle and nose.

 The meal was done and the cat seemed satisfied... The little tongue looked so cute, it was so so pink.

 “I mean, maybe you already have a name but calling you queen all the time ..”, he trailed off and shrugged, “you know, don’t know whether you, like, deserve that title to be a name. It is something you earn and live, but you are not just some queen. Except when you are some fucking royal but who the fuck cares about that shit.”

 The cat looked up at him and he vaguely looked back before sticking his tongue out and gently brushing through the soft fur of the little monster of coal he sheltered.

 “Yeah, right. Fuck the Queen. It is not the same as you being a queen. Anyway, it would kinda not be the same for you to be a queen and to be Queen. You know?“

 Remy chuckled as the kitten pushed its head against his ribcage.

 “You totally get me, don’t you?”

 The kitten meowed in reply and he continued to pet the little ball of softness. The little one even smelled great. Well, now.

 “Okay, let us give you a name that fits you. I don’t know, honey. Something fancy but also classy because it is you”, he giggled, “I don’t know but we will find something!”

  Remy gently picked up the little kitten and hummed as he stumbled over to the bookshelves. His wine was abandoned and the small void simply meowed in response to his actions.

 “You know what, fuck that show. They all suck anyway, honey. Reality TV is just a nice background .. nice, like.. what else would people watch Kim Kardeshian for? Genuine interest? Gurl, it is all about the sounds and sights or plainly being the malicious bitch to gossip and ridicule these people.”

 He giggled and settled before the bookshelf, sitting there with the little queen on his arms. Was queen a title, now? Not a name but somehow some kind of pet name, huh.

 “You know what, kitty?”, he whispered and the cat shook their head at the sudden sounds and the wet breath Remy offered. They pushed their little head against the man’s collar bone.

“I am that kinda bitch to do all the heavy gossiping.”

 He laid down and let the cat rest on his chest. His back was pressed against the dark floor in his reading corner. The curious little cloud looked around and stood up, tail curiously moving from one side to the other. Then it stayed and moved in slow-motion before returning to the other side while staying kinda between low and horizontal.

 Cats were so cute.

 And the cat really looked like a cloud.

A dark one.

Not a black sheep, a black cloud!

 “Storm cloouUuUuUd”, Remy sang softly and the cat turned back to him, letting out a responsive sound in reply.

 They understood him! Or were at least annoyed enough to react and give him a “what the fuck” look with all the sassy cat-ness in their bi-coloured orbs.

 “Aw!! You react! But that is a long way to go, still, you brooding little dust ghost.”

 He blew a little bit off of the cat’s head and brushed it off to make sure it was all clear. Maybe from the chicken or the couch.

He had to cleaaaan, ew. Woooork.

Bad cat. They really be spreading the dust around like a little ghost.

Damn it, he only wanted to find some nicknames for the small being.

  “Cat, can’t you do the work for me? I mean, come on, I totally got you to the vet and you got drugged for free. That is a real favour to do for a stranger, gurl.”

 The cat looked back up at him.

Oh, how could he have forgotten about that??

 “Bitch!”

 Remy exclaimed wildly and sat up, simply to fall back into the ground with a dull ‘thud’ accompanying his motions. The insides of his head seemed to be forcefully shrunk together and the tipsy man groaned in annoyance. The pain was so fuzzy and far away, it was basically a street sign on the other side of the street during a day of heavy fog.

All he did feel was the heaviness of his head and the horrible throbbing that came right after he limply dropped into the hard wood again.

 “uh… Aw, I am the dumb bitch, here. Kim, save me”, he weakly slurred.

 Obviously, he was in about the greatest state to take care of another being, especially one that was just as drowsy as him and slowly processed his sudden movements with flinches away from him.

When the man did not move, the curious guest nudged Remy’s nose with their own.

Had the coffee lover seen it, he would have swooned, probably.

 Well, on the other side, he slowly got himself together and carefully shifted again, this time being considerate of his own and the kitty’s needs. He was much slower, lethargic in a way, it would make Sloth itself jealous.

Eventually, he was in position, vision still blurred with blackish spots tainting his view on the dimly lit apartment.

  “So- as I was saying… wait”, he started yet trailed off soon after, voice quieting down and light eyes closing.

“uh.. yeah, I know where I left off. So, as I was, uh, saying.. Like, bitch! You are totally as tipsy as I am with all those killers in ya, big boi.”

 Once more, his own giggles filled the room while the cat just pushed their head against his chin. The creature somewhat vibrated a bit and it felt oddly funny to Remy. Indescribable sounds came from the little kitty cat. It did not sound like a Queen, not really. It was more like uh.. a cat. Nothing else Remy has ever heard sounded quite like that.

 “You uh.. you still need a name, you little void egg, you. Hihi.“

 Remy curled and gently cradled the black ball closer. His grip around the cat was secure yet loose. The cloud of nothingness was comfortably sunk into his arms as the man got onto his wobbly legs and moved his jelly sticks closer to the little corner of books and boxes once more.

The kitten did have more than just great taste to hide there when they first started exploring some shit around his flat.

 Their flat?

… uhh.. the doc said to look for the original owners.. oh man, he still had to do that on top of all the things he had to do. And he did not even know whether it was worth it but it was much better than just giving the cat over to some shelter.. uh.. cat thingy.. cat orphanage?

Cat orphanage. Sounded like a totally valid word. Yes, Remy, the name was, like, totally not sanctuary. Absolutely it was not. You fucking genius.

 The kitten was snuggled up to Remy’s chest, acutely unaware of the change of environment that slowly came around with Remy wandering off their spot to really dive into the corner of his secret reading delights. He was back on the oriel, the space were the floor was not any dark wood anymore but instead carpeted in wine red. This was the only piece of floor in his home that had a little bit of carpet and it just started with a provisional glass door he had put there with more than just a little effort.

Basically, this little corner was a glass globe library with the perfect sight on the snowy streets and other weather conditions throughout life. Due to architecture, he basically had a built-in bench because some oriels build a “dent” into the home which can be used as some kind of elaborate and excessively broad window sill.

 It was worth all the work he had put into it.

Whenever he came in to read, it was calm and silent, it was warm but easily adjusted by opening the windows or turning on the heating (considering he did not live in the warmest region on earth at all. In fact, he lived in a more moderate climate and enjoyed the tendency towards coolish temperatures. Despite climate change, there was still snow early in the winter months).

 The two curled up on the floor, leaning against a beanbag. Remy was leaning against the beanbag, to be specific. The kitten was curled up on Remy, cuddling into his arms like the hazy bitch they were. The Queen could barely process anything but well, steady ground it was.

Remy was resting on the bean bag, the cat silently meowing at the change of softness around them when the home-owner slowly turned his body for the kitten to slide against the bad with him.

Maybe the cat liked it. Nobody could know anything because the cat was out of it and also, cats were hell-spawns who were not to be understood but worshipped only.

 A book was resting in Remy’s lap. When did he pull it there? He did not remember. Maybe it had just settled with him, flying over or whatnot.

The book was one hell of a beast.

Pages upon pages were stacked on top of one another and bound together in the obscene creation of a whole book that held knowledge, big enough to rival a human brain in size - at least when putting this knowledge onto pages in barely readable fonts and size.

 “Yo, cat. We need a name for ya, honey.”

 He let his head roll to the side and then back into position again. The void looked over at him and seemed to shrug. Maybe Remy was imagining things.

 “Uh.. You can’t read that for me, now, can you? Why do people even get cats, man. Like, no offence but is that not why we have human beings? So we socialise and uh .. uh like.. taaaalk and hate one another. Cuz we totaaally need that kinda interaction.”

 His voice let the words blend in together, the muffled sentence barely resembling different words or sounds but instead one big hum. Useless blabber, at most. Not that the pet would understand him if he was putting proper effort into talking like a sober and completely sane person.

 “Caaat. Caaaat, just learn reading? Give yourself a name, gurl. Independence!”

 Yeah, well.. This seemed not to work, in fact, it obviously resembled a fruitless endeavour instead. Much like teaching a donkey how to sow greens, the cat took up Remy’s words and ignored them skilfully. Even in his tipsy mind, he was well aware that an animal would not just magically learn reading and then read out to him. However, the wishful thinking was still in his heart… and his foggy dummy mind.

He reverted to child-like attention spans and reasoning abilities whenever he got to drink just a bit more than a little. And honestly, the wine got a little to him, especially with this bottomless void eating, like, all of this fucking chicken.

 He mumbled something about sharing under his breath before he pulled the book closer and heaved it open with his weak noodle power. There was not that much energy left in his heart. He was tipsy and as soft as molten butter.

The book groaned as it was opened, awakening the pages of knowledge from deep slumber.

It willingly dropped the front and backside onto Remy’s lap. It spread like a good partner for the intimate deeds. The excitement of being handled and warmed by a knowledge-seeking person got to it and drove the book to reveal just the right passage for them.

 “Names.. Names. Kitty cat, pick a name.”

 “mrrrow..?”

 “Yeah, hoe, but like, you’re a Queen.. to me and not to others so how about you lemme pick a name,  so the mortals can give you their foolish attempts of daring to raise their voice at you without spoiling your title, you void hoe.”

 The cat gave him a slow-motion blink of two eyes. These wonderfully coloured eyes.. How were cats allowed to just have such precious gems as eyes. Like.. did he rob some jewellery store thing.. did they have names again, he felt like they had some kinda name and he was supposed to know this and all.

Uh, he would be clever later.

 “Alright. This is a name dictionary thing. Like, for when you get a baby and you need to name that little shit, so the system can discriminate against it. It gives you names, you know. You have them according to the alphabet which is a linguistic attempt at bringing order into the way we communicate and organise shit. By the way, this is totally lame because language is fucking liv- ah, uh.. alive. That’s the bitch I was looking for.”

 Remy suppressed a burp before he allowed himself to continue.

 “Can you .. can you just paw this thing?”

 The cat did not move. Uh.. He carefully nudged the little monster. A lazy glare was thrown his way but this is where it stopped. Such a lazy hoe. They would be the bestest of friends very soon.

Seriously, kitten? Not even some dumbass meow sound or whatever? Wow, okay. Selfish much.

 He groaned.

Now we was getting upset with a little cat. He made it this far in his life. Instead of diving deeper into any negative feelings, he moved himself. His finger gently tapped onto the paw once more and softly stroked it before putting it onto the page.

 “Oh, mine own dearest liege, I has't did summon all the fucks i has't hath left to giveth and ‘t wast enow to maketh.. this miracle! Uh - thou hath moveth thy fucking paw. ”

 …Not even that did get the cat to as much as meow at him. At LEAST the void monster spared him a glance of annoyance for his effort. Valid, valid. At least some feedback, thundercloud. Yet, the moment was gone as soon as it came and the kitten then dropped the whole thing and looked down again.

Some sorta ritual to close their eyes and nap away. Even the cat had better living habits than he did.

 “Nonononono, dun nap jus yeeeet! V-V … uh..”

 He had taken up the name from the book, accepting the fate of the paw and started looking into the decision of the higher spirits. He was ready to act up on whatever the heavens and skies and all that shit have decided for the cat to be named.

 The man squinted at the pages.

The top of it said “V”, so he knew that this was the start for their name now. Of course the Queen would be such a diva and end up with a name as unique as starting with such a rare letter. Totally Extra :tm:.

To be fair.. who the fuck used those letters anyway, man.. xylophone? Laaaaaaaaaaaame. Virginia, Voltron, V-.. V…

 “Virgil”

 Remy blinked.

He blinked multiple fucking times.

The name did NOT, unlike his mind’s stupid expectation, suddenly change into something like, uh, you know,… Jared. Some funny shit.

 No, it was still this name. Virgil.

 “Is that even a name for a cat who I declare to be gendered in the neutral only? Uh, you know.. whatever, like, it is whatever because you are a QUEEEEEENG.. Queen.. a queen. You just un-rule gendered names. They are stupid anyway, guuurl. Fuck this all.”

 “Queen Virgil! Now how does that make you feel, huh?”

 The kitten gave him another blink and finally retreated their paw.

 “Yeah, my little nightmare goat. We are gonna go nap all night, all day!”

 The man giggled again. Then he made sure to just give up and fall asleep like that, curled up on a beanie, kitty cat fur tickling him and doing nothing to facilitate his breathing. All he breathed in was ai- uh.. No.. Virgil’s fur.

 Welcome to a change of life, huh?

Or simply: “Welcome, Virgil”.

[whoareyouandwhyshouldicare]

To all my fellow LoVe shippers who are feeling down I have one thing to say.

I can’t make the last 8 minute of season 4 disappear but I can recommend some really great LoVe fanfiction that will make you feel at least a little bit better. So without further ado here are a few of my favorite LoVe fics!

A Hard Habit to Break  by  mskatej   Nothing gets Veronica over her failed relationships better than Logan Echolls.    

...And Long For You  by  AbsolutelyIris It was moments like those Veronica wished she could be like Lilly- storm into his house and curse and yell and damn him to hell before demanding he fuck her...and like with Lilly, he would gladly, if reluctantly, do so.      

 “Any Love Is Good Love, Baby”  by wily_one24   Apparently, Hollywood was wrong, the devil did not wear Prada, the devil wore butch black boots and tiny little skirts.                                

The Best (and Only) Kept Secret in Neptune  by  vixleonard Even when they hated each other, Logan and Veronica just couldn't stay away from each other.                     

The Burdened Vessel  by  vixleonard   Veronica needs a favor only Logan can help her with.              

Every Belt That Ever Hit Someone (Is Still Made to Hold Something Up)  by igrockspock   Logan doesn't get any votes for Most Changed at the ten-year reunion, which is bullshit when you think about it.  In the past ten  years, everything in his life has changed.  He's joined the Navy, dated a pop star, and figured out that Dick Casablancas can occasionally behave like a real human being.  Only one thing hasn't changed: he's still in love with Veronica Mars.  Oh, and he's suspected of murdering his girlfriend.

"Fear and Loathing in Neptune"   by wily_one24 Veronica Mars was going to get herself laid. Series  Part 1 of Any Love  

A Fine and Endless Cycle  by kartography A freshman year at Hearst and the cyclical nature of love                                         

Fireworks by AliLamba Veronica is technically not a virgin, and awkward results ensue. An AU version of LoVe's first time.                

For the Sake of a Friend by jacedesbff   What if Logan and Veronica were involved in a secret relationship throughout the events of Season 1?     

The Game of Trust  by Kantayra of Yore (Kantayra)   This time Veronica really did trust him, and she knew how to prove it...    

Getcha, Getcha, Getcha, Getcha  by  Kantayra of Yore (Kantayra) Veronica and Logan prank each other. Really, it's shameless the way they flirt...  

Give Me The Ocean  by scandalpants   Post Season 3 AU.  Veronica decides what she really wants.  Spoiler: it's not Piz.                                              

Home Is Where The Heart Is by: lv63   AU preseries and forward, begins in season 1. this story is all about veronica and her friends. angst, mystery, humor and romance, LoVe and MaDi. summary in prologue. 

I Hate You Because by: SilverLining2k6   Mid 1X3 - Meet John Smith.    Logan, Veronica, a pool, snark, and a made up drinking game.

i knew you were trouble when you walked in  by youcallitwinter   And, it's just—  Logan had always been her intense high-school romance, sure. But she had, somewhere along the way, in some secret corner of her mind, convinced herself that was all he was; a high-school romance. Explosive, powerful, passionate, and bound to burn itself out eventually

(Im)Perfection  by  AbsolutelyIris The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.                

In a World by: my shangri-la   A/U! Exploring the 'what ifs' that could have happened if Lilly Kane hadn't been murdered, and her secrets – and others – had come out anyway. Pairings: Lilly/Logan, past Duncan/Veronica, eventual Logan/Veronica. (Story begins with Lilly as a senior, the rest are juniors.)

In the kind of world where we belong  by  Anonymous  There was always something missing.  A Lilly Kane sized hole in both their hearts.  Instead of going to see Aaron Echolls on October 3rd Lilly decides to comfort a friend and their lives change forever.A very smutty OT3 take on what might have happened if Lilly had lived.

Kid Things  by sowell   5 years after graduation, Logan comes back to Neptune to ask Veronica for help.                      

King of Mars  by: HGRising   AU. In which everyone has a story to tell but not everyone gets the chance. And, things make more sense from a different perspective. Ever wonder why Veronica Mars was Lilly Kane's best friend? There's redemption for some and condemnation for others when the secrets come out. And everyone's got a good one.

Landmine  by  AbsolutelyIris It needed to be forgotten, and quick.             

The Long Way Home  by  AbsolutelyIris   "We should take the long way home." 

Matching Pink Bikinis  by  Anonymous Veronica and Lilly wear matching pink bikinis to Logan's for a pool day.  This is pure threesome smut, folks.                

Pink Lemonade (Logan/Veronica/Lilly)  On a trip to Honolulu, Lilly manages to bring Veronica out of her pink, frosty shell. Spoilers/Warnings: This is a threesome fic and therefore includes some femslash.        

Playing Hide and Seek With the Truth by: jenwin23   Continuation of the Truth series. The kids go back to school. Old issues remain while more secrets will be revealed, relationships will change and lives will crumble.

The Real Thing by: Josielynn   AU. Logan and Lilly are off again/on again. Duncan is dating Meg. Veronica was never friends with Lilly. Logan sees Veronica in her soccer uniform and wants to date her.

Scotch on the Rocks (A FanFic Tribute)  by kmd0107   A long time ago...there was an incredibly hot LoVeLy trilogy fic (Pink Lemonade & Sex on the Beach) started over on Live Journal that never got its third part.  This is a tribute to what that might have been.   Logan POV of the evolving sexual and emotional relationship between himself, Veronica, and Lilly.              

Scourging Fire, Blazing Soul  by Nerdyesque   What if Veronica didn't grow up with the 09ers, but came into their lives prior to Lilly's death? How would her presence affect Duncan, Lilly, Logan, the Kanes, and the Echolls? Also, who is Veronica without Keith Mars' loving protection?      

Sex on the Beach (Logan/Veronica/Lilly) NC-17 Lilly's chapter in my Drinks Series. Nobody wants to talk about what happened in Hawaii, and it's driving Lilly crazy. How could she possibly make what happened less awkward? By making it happen again, of course!        

Some Truths Hurt by: jenwin23 Jumping off point: V gets Duncan's journal in Echolls' Family Xmas. AU from there but many canon events happen too. All characters in the VM-verse make an appearance, but it is a LoVe story. In script format-but give it a try, it's well written.

The Third Kane by: Mac-alicious   Lilly, Duncan and Veronica Kane rule the social scene in Neptune. The three are loyal and inseparable. They once believed there was nothing that could come between them. They didn't count on Logan Echolls.

Time, Make It Go Faster Or Just Rewind  by  kmd0107  Logan being ‘the real-Logan’ is so familiar that she almost can’t help but give in to it, even if it’s just a one night pass.   She’ll embrace this moment out of time and the walls and armor can go back up tomorrow.AU from 1x4 Wrath of Con              

Truths Too Big to be Told  by: jenwin23 Sequel to Some Truths Hurt. It's summer time and more than the weather is hot. Neptune is embroiled in class warfare, Veronica is looking into the mystery of another dead girl, the fallout from Lilly's case continues, and more secrets will be revealed.

I’m also throwing in some of my favorite MaDi (Mac and Dick) fics because Dick needs a hug too.

The ABCs of Mac and Dick by: jenwin23   The ABC challenge with Mac and Dick. Created for Madi lover at VM Santa 2010 at livejournal. Cross-posted. In letter order, not in chronological order.

Bodycount by: BIFF1   Cassidy and Mac meet a little earlier and a little blood-lust gives him an entirely different problem when it comes to forming a real relationship with Mac. AU with MAJOR season two SPOILERS! Mac/Cass, Mac/Dick, Mac/Cass/Dick

Casablancas Kryptonite By: BIFF1   "You just don't get it. She's like kryptonite or something." Dick looked at his brother and thought about those blue eyes that cut and the way her mouth twisted around insults. Yeah maybe she was kyptonite. Casablancas kyptonite because isn't he just as weak.

Casual? By: BIFF1   It's just sex. Casual sex. no attachments, just good hot sex. But that was the summer and now school is about to start up again and Veronica's back from Virginia and can tell that something is up. They can stop, no problem...

The Charm Bracelet by: DalWriter   Future Fic. Who Knew Prince Charming Would be Dick Casablancas? Mac reminisces as she looks at a charm bracelet Dick gave her.

Commitment Buffers by: BIFF1   Dick and Mac live with Logan and Veronica in their attempt to have some sort of commitment buffer between them. Only problem with the arrangement is that Mac and Dick tolerate each other at best which is a big improvement as far as their concerned. However living in such close quarters may prove difficult when it becomes obvious that they may actually sort of like each other.

Dark Day by: BIFF1   It's Cassidy Casablancas' birthday and the two people closest to him are falling apart. She just wants to hide away from the world for the rest of the week, just drink and cry and be with someone who gets it and no one gets it more than Dick. Not as angsty as it sounds, promise. Now complete with happy ending!

Electrify by: BIFF1   A guilt trip from Logan has landed Dick in a crowded tent with Mac. With a lightening storm raging outside he can't sleep and it appears neither can she.

Rendezvous by: BIFF1   A collection of one-shots. In which Dick and Mac are forced together by fate or friends and hook up. Because I apparently really like writing them hooking up.

Secret Santa By: BIFF1   Saw this homemade sweater from hell prompt from VMficRec. It's a November challenge but I couldn't help myself. Just some fun when Mac pulls Dick's name for Secret Santa. She figures a six pack and porn until he makes a big deal about not wanting anything handmade. She can't really help herself, she spends the month knitting Dick a sweater.

[tippitv]

Recap: “Ouroboros” 14-14

Hey everyone! In an effort to get the recap out in a timely fashion, I'm trying something new. I'm doing it live-blog style and adding gifs already available on Tumblr as I format it for posting. Making pics with captions and photoshopping is super slow and laborious on my ancient computer. Just that part of the recaps usually takes 8-10 hours to do. In a recap that has a LOT of graphics, it might take 12.

THEN!

Ooh I've apparently missed more episodes than I realized. Veronica Cartwright, who's one of my favorite character actresses ever, brought Jack back to life. 

But with like... dire consequences, as per yoozh.

NOW!

Raton, New Mexico. Hey I've been there! I was driving to Colorado when I was 19 and we hit Raton riiiiight before we had to start driving up a narrow mountain road... when an ice storm hit... and I, a Texan who'd never driven over so much as an ice cube, thought I was going to kill us all.

Anyway it's nice to see an episode start somewhere in the Southwest for a change of pace.

This music is super cute. Someone let me know what it is? Also, I don't know who this guy is but he knows how to chop vegetables. I like him already! Oh... oh wait. There's a dead man on his kitchen island and the knife guy is harvesting his organs for dinner. Sorry, my dude, but I only have room in my heart for one cannibal

Oh he's got some lizard eyes on him, too. That's also a deal breaker. Somehow his repto-vision allows him to sense that the Winchesters are coming for him, so he grabs his pet snake Felix and sneaks away.

The episode is titled "Ouroboros," and I can't see that word without thinking of the episode of Red Dwarf where the people found the cardboard box with Lister in it. They misread the word as "Our Rob, or Ross." Shout out to the handful people following me who know what I'm talking about.

The Winchesters show up. Oh hey Castiel and Jack are with them, too! Snake Boy didn't see that. "Oh no," Cas says, despairing at the scene in the kitchen. I know. A wasted pasta dinner! Also a dead body.

Sam and Dean are frustrated that they've failed to catch this guy yet again. How is anyone not barfing at the smell of fried human liver? Have they become inured to it because of all the flaming hunter funerals? That's probably it.

"My money's on witchcraft," Dean grumbles. Rowena walks up behind him like

Oh ho ho why's she so flirtatious with Castiel? What did I miss there? Well he seems as confused as I am, and less titillated. Maybe nothing happened and she's just someone with eyes who happens to see how cute he is.

Everyone wonders why the victim, like all the other victims, appears not to have fought back. I mean, there's a lot of nihilism these days. Maybe it's a case of "fuck it, if this guy doesn't kill me the climate change will." Jack finds a freshly shed snake skin on the floor.

They wonder if the victim had pet snakes but think he doesn't seem the type. Like, I know a stay-at-home suburban mom with multiple snakes so I don't think there's just one type of herp enthusiast. Jack starts coughing and everyone's like

Jack assures them he's not dying again but he probably is.

Rowena notices there's a blackish powder around the victim's lips. The others tell her the other victims had something similar but they ignored it so that Dean and Rowena could look back and forth at each other with their best So Done faces.

As funny as the exchange is, I do so hate plot-necessitated dumbness. There's no way they wouldn't have looked into the black powder on all the victims' faces.

Sam and Rowena do some research in the motel de la nuit, which has a fabulous Missoni-inspired wallpaper. Man I wouldn't mind having some of that! Anyway, she's curious about Jack being not-dead and Dean keeping an archangel locked up in his head somehow. Sam doesn't want to talk about it.

Meanwhile, Jack's in the bathroom having one of those Moulin Rouge coughing fits. Has anyone thought of like... getting the kid some Robitussin? He uses a small amount of power to heal his cough. I think Veronica Cartwright warned against this in the previouslies.  

Dean's growing a mite weary and still thinks their inevitable option is going to be the magic coffin. Cas's face goes

Castiel tiredly explains what the word "liturgical" means when Jack and Dean give him confused looks. I mean I guess Jack might not know, but Dean should sure as heck know.

When they get back to the motel, Rowena says they're dealing with a Gorgon. "Like Medusa!" Dean pipes up. Oh I bet this leads to a Clash of the Titans jok---and there it is. They blah blah blah about how eating human eyes allows a Gorgon to see the future and evade capture. "So even if we use your tracking spell, he'll know," Cas says. Why do they assume it's a man when the Gorgons have always been depicted as shes?

So Snake Boy approaches a guy outside a truck stop and asks for help. "I'd find a way to pay you back." He turns the flirting up about ten notches and the trucker shiftily tells him to get inside. They kiss and the trucker is slowly paralyzed. Oh noooo I have a dozen things to say about queer villainy and victimization but I'm live blogging so remind me to come back to it.

Cas's hair is high as hell today. Remember there was this whole plot a while back about how Heaven is running out of power because there are so few angels? Maybe he's powering Heaven with his hair.

Noah, that's apparently the Gorgon's name, has left a note on the body for Dean. "I see you standing alone reading this note," NUH UH he's standing with Cas. He warns Dean to stop chasing him. "Why doesn't he mention me?" Cas asks. Right?? "Maybe you're not his type," Dean says. Cas rolls his eyes upward but the low-hanging fruit is practically on the ground.

After a confab with Sam and Rowena, they work out a plan for Cas and Jack to go after Noah since they seem to be invisible to him. They just need some anti-venom in case the Gorgon tries to poison them. Or just tell them not to kiss the guy? Maybe they don't know kissing is how he

OH MY FUCKING GOD ROWENA TURNS JACK INTO A VERY TINY DOG AND RUSHES HIM TO THE VET WITH SAM AND HE LOOKS LIKE A MUPPET

Jack the dog gets a thermometer up the butt... Then the vet or tech or whoever she is just... leaves him on the exam table unattended. That's not remotely what happens at clinics but whatever. As soon as Jack is alone, he turns back into a person with all his clothes on. I don't know why that seems more unrealistic to me than him turning into a dog, period.

He finds the anti-venom, makes a joke about his poor butt, and then Sam and Rowena have a conversation in the parking lot about how he was brought back to life. Then the vet runs out and confronts them!

Just kidding, they talk as long as they want without ever being discovered.

Noah's got his latest victim tied up somewhere. He says he finds more men to eat because women are more cautious. True dat. He kept the guy alive long enough to blah blah for a while but now he gives him a smooch on the cheek to paralyze him.

Rowena casts a locator spell... Why wouldn't Noah be able to see her and know something is up? Only the angelic ones are invisible to him. Oh my word Castiel kicks open the door VERY forcefully and I'm like

But wait... first he knocked. Why did he knock first? You know what let's just move on. Castiel goes and de-venomizes the latest victim. For some reason nobody's cutting off Noah's head yet so he just goes on talking. Something about a snake and some chicken eggs. Even Castiel is like, "Why are you telling this story??" And Noah, looking at Jack, goes, "Because I can't tell if he's the chicken or the snake."

Fisticuffs attempt to ensue! Lolol it's briefly a slap fight. Noah kisses Cas on the cheek. This is the most unrealistic part of this episode. Why would you kiss some rando trucker on the mouth and not this guy.

Hm there's still 15 minutes left. For some reason, the anti-venom doesn't work on Cas, so Jack has to use some of his powers. Maybe you should have tried giving him more of it first but whatever.

LOL they drive all the way from New Mexico to Kansas with unconscious Dean and rush him into the med bay. It's at least an eight hour drive! Maggie's like, "I'll get some ice!" It's been at least eight hours! Why didn't they just bring him to a regular hospital?? Nothing supernatural happened to him! He got his head wanged!

Jack is pretty upset about the prospect of Dean dying but Cas seems... philosophical about it. Maybe he knows they got renewed for season 15 and isn't too worried.

Oh Dean's awake and everything's fine! Just kidding he's on a rampage knocking everything over. Someone tell Maggie to forget the ice. He's in a rage because he "let his guard down" and now Michael has left. I mean... you were knocked out by a plot contrivance, my dude. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Oh shiiiit Michael's gone and killed everyone in the bunker. Not any of the main characters, obviously, but everyone else. Oh double shiiiiiit he's got Rowena as a vessel now. Wait. Why would she have said yes to him?

Ah...Michael paid her a little visit in her mind and said he'd kill everyone she cares about. She's loath to admit it but she does care for these people. Well, the main characters, at least.

Oh my gosh I love Ruth Connell. This is my fave version of Michael yet. Too bad it won't last!

Jack decides to use his powers to save everyone even if it means dying! Except he doesn't die because it's only March. He forces Michael out of Rowena, then sucks down the evacuated grace like

Everything goes quiet. Everyone's like... wtf? what?? the fuck??? They wait on pins and needles to see what happened to Jack. Jack's like, "I'm me again!" with the glowing flame eyes and the shadow wings. The music makes this seem very ominous. Maybe it means he doesn't have a soul anymore. Either way he seems very powerful again so good luck getting a rectal thermometer into him now.

Wait... why was this episode called Ouroboros when it was an entirely different snake thing? Ohhh maybe it was Jack eating/using his own powers to help himself? Let's say it's that.

If you enjoyed this recap, and are able, please drop something into my virtual tip jar here: https://www.paypal.me/tippiblevins  Henry the Hound and I could use grocery/vet money so anything is appreciated, including reblogs!

Thank you for reading!

[callunavulgari]

Year-In-Life | 2018

Or that annual New Year’s meme about yours truly.

1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before? Got a big girl job! Got insurance! Made my very own eye doctor appointment! Got an apartment all on my own with my boyfriend! And this all happened since October! Basically I haven’t had time to do more than sleep in like two months!!!!!

But like. I’m making good money now, I can actually do things like go to the freaking doctor when I’m sick and not completely bankrupt myself if I get hit by a truck or something. Oh, and my new job has PTO! How rad is that, I can get paid for taking vacations now? The only downside is my eyes are not taking the staring at a computer screen all day very well and ache ALL the time now. But hey! Things are looking up other than my eyes being stabbed out of my skull?!

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ugh I never remember what resolutions I actually made though! I mean, I know one of them was get a better job, which I did. I started smoking again for like two months and then quit again in November because holy shit I don’t need that in my life. I... briefly lost weight and then gained it all back because I stopped caring.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Couple high school people, I think. One of my best friend’s from middle school had her second kid. Another friend from middle school is expecting a third next year. But nobody particularly close, no. 4. Did anyone close to you die? I don’t think so.

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? Ugh, no countries. Nick got to go to Germany for his job training but I had to stay here because y’know, money, and also, money. Didn’t have the big girl job at the time and he went to Germany the week before we were due to go to North Carolina and I’m sorry, but I can’t freaking afford two weeks off of work. Couldn’t? Eh, still probably can’t unless I work crazy overtime to obtain more PTO. 

That said, I had lots of fun on our annual trip down to North Carolina. Once again I got to read a lot of books in the pool, chill on the beach, and play dumb drinking games with people five years younger than me. We also had an added date night, which I think I’m going to require every year.

6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018? Oh hey, I basically got everything that I wanted from last year. More steady job with insurance, apartment, not doing the college thing yet, but I’m going to have to think long and hard about how I want to proceed from here. This job opened up a LOT of opportunities for me, and I may pursue some of those instead of college. I just have to decide if that’s what I want.

Only thing that I didn’t get was, y’know, the ring thing. So here’s to hoping for next year? 

Also, ideally, we’re looking to buy a house sometime in either 2020 or 2021, so here’s to hoping we save up enough to make that happen.

7. What date from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? October 15th is when I started my new job. November 9th was when we moved out. Not many big events this year other than those. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Got new job! Got apartment! Read a metric crapton of books! Bought a nice couch that is all ours!

9. What was your biggest failure? Honestly? I’m not really sure. This year was kind of a good one. I’ve been very patient with Nick’s mom whenever we go on our weekly outing to one of the bars in our hometown and haven’t dropkicked her into the street whenever she gets too drunk. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Since moving out of the old house last month my weird allergy thing has improved wildly. We’re still using the sensitive skin detergent and I’m using very mildly scented soaps, but all in all the itching is so much less. I got really sick and missed Thanksgiving because I got some kind of stomach flu, and I think I had another stomach issue a few months back, but it’s been mostly mild. 11. What was the best thing you bought? I got new glasses at a vastly discounted rate because my vision insurance is apparently really good? We also bought a huge new sectional that is bigger, comfier, and LESS EXPENSIVE than all of the other couches we were looking at. I got Nick a sit/stand desk for Christmas and got upgraded to his old one by proxy. Got new books and a new painting for our living room. We also bought a new TV, because my old one was fucked and since we were moving out we didn’t have Seth’s to watch. 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Mine. I was so good this year. 13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? Eh. Nick’s mom drives me nuts, my mom drives me nuts, the roommates aren’t as bad now because we aren’t there, but it got a little spotty near the end there.

14. Where did most of your money go? Mostly things like bills, car payments, groceries, plane ticket to South Carolina to see my family, Christmas presents. While I got a reasonably good big girl job Nick got a reasonably good computer engineering job which means even if he is just a starting salary it’s still about 30k more than I make. Which just, blows my mind to say? Because I’m not making less than 15k a year now?  15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I’m sorry that you have to hear it again, but new job! New apartment! New books and new things and hopefully a new chapter of our life. I’ve been trying to not get too psyched about things just in case the bottom drops out, but for now I’m letting myself enjoy this.

16. What song will always remind you of 2018? Paradise Valley. The Sailor Song. Daddy. Smallest Light. Lots of things off the Stranger Things soundtrack. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Happier? Yeah, happier. ii. thinner or fatter? Little more, maybe? Again, lost a bunch but gained it back. iii. richer or poorer? Richer. With both of us having good jobs it’s so much easier to save. I dumped a little more than I should have into Christmas presents, but I’m still okay.  18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Write. I’ve been really bad about it, but I’m hoping that this year I’ll find my stride. 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Still pretty chill this year. Maybe gotten my head out of my ass and tried to get a good job earlier, but I can’t regret it too much. 20. How will you be spending Christmas? Spent Christmas Eve listening to Nick’s mom bitch about things and eating food that kind of turned my stomach. Spent Christmas Day at his mom’s in the morning and then his grandparents’ all afternoon. Only managed to squeeze a tiny amount of time for ourselves this year, but we had breakfast together and opened our presents. Hopefully next year we get Christmas Eve to ourselves again. 21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? So, last year we spent New Year’s cooking curry (him) and pirozki (me) and watching Planet Earth. I’m hoping to do something similar this year, but we might end up at his mom’s place getting trashed since we’re both off the next day. We’ll see. 22. Did you fall in love in 2018? Maybe a little more. 23. Best month for you this year? October? November? August? April-ish? Honestly most of my months this year were pretty okay. Like, I’m so sorry for all of you that had shitty years, but mine was so much better than basically anything from the past goddamn decade.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2018? Didn’t watch too much this year? Watched the second season of Westworld, Voltron, the Sense8 series finale, Killing Eve, Castlevania, The Haunting of Hill House, Bride of the Ancient Magus, Lost In Space... But honestly, most of them were good but not fantastic. I really liked the Sense8 finale and Hill House. Oooh, also, She-Ra. And Little Witch Academia! Those were good ones. 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Eh.

26. What was the best book you read? Spinning Silver was so good, guys. The Goblin Emperor, A Tale For the Time Being, the Queen’s Thief series, the Kingkiller Chronicle, and the Nightrunner series were highlights too. It was a real good year for books, okay. 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Paradise Valley. Holy shit that song is the best. 28. What did you want and got? I got a lot of stuff I wanted this year. The job, the apartment, books, games. Nick got me a fucking switch for Christmas and this really pretty teardrop necklace made of green glass that’s just fucking gorgeous. And I got the glasses, the stupid tv, the better couch... ugh, we spent so much money this year, but I mean, it’s kind of about time that we had the money to splurge a little?

29. What did you want but didn’t get? A... ring? I mean, we’ve talked about it and we’ve both been moving steadily in this direction, but it didn’t happen this year. I foolishly made a bet with one of his brother’s friends while I was drunk. He thought that he’d propose before December of 2020, I thought he’d propose before the end of 2019, so now even if I’m right I’m wrong and I know he is going to give me shit about it.

Also. I think I might actively want kids now? Like, not in a nebulous eventually kind of way, but I think I might want to start trying? I don’t know. More on that next year. 30. What was your favorite film of this year? The Greatest Showman was really great. Other than that though, I didn’t watch that many. 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 29 went a lot like 28 and 27. Had lunch with Nick at the Lantern, and then lazed around until we went out to Old Bag of Nails with a few of our friends. It was nice. Nick got me knitting supplies because I mentioned a million years ago that I kind of wanted to learn so I could do something while listening to audiobooks.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hah! A better president and a ring is the only thing that I didn’t get from my wishes last year. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018? Honestly until I started having to dress for an office job my personal fashion concept was PJs all the time except for when I had to go wait tables for a few hours. Now that I have the office job I’ve been wearing lots of sweaters, scarves, and skirts with tall boots when it’s not too cold for them. My bet is next year I’m going to give up and buy scrubs like everybody else in the nursing department. 34. What kept you sane? Reading was really, really great this year. - STILL leaving this answer 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Eh. Amber Heard was recently very pretty on my tumblr dashboard? 36. What political issue stirred you the most? FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 2015678. —– Ayyyyy, this was my response from last year, and apparently also the year before and the one before! Hello past me’s, don’t worry, it’s still getting worse. 37. Who did you miss? Nick, while he was in Germany and when I was in South Carolina. It was dumb. I wanted to smooch his forehead gently. 38. Who was the best new person you met? I have lots of new coworkers, but Bryan is my favorite. He’s pretty cool and I could see myself being good friends with him if he doesn’t fuck off to a different state. 

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: *Sherlock voice* I don’t have friends. ---- I’m just going to leave this here. 

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year:

Took this one in... early March, but it’s technically the earliest photo I took of myself that wasn’t technically from December of 2017. I really miss the dark hair.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year:

This was taken a couple days ago when I got new glasses. I am 100% not naked, I’m wearing a tanktop.

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Uh. I don’t know if I actually tried any new recipes this year? Most things that I cooked were repeat favorites from last year and Nick hasn’t cooked too terribly much either. The new jobs thing has been nice, but also we have SO MUCH LESS TIME.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? I don’t know. There have been a few of them. I had a night that was kind of shitty and empty, and ended up reading that Cornstalk Fiddle fic that I’ve talked about and it turned into one of my favorite memories. The vacation and moving was pretty nice.

44. What are you excited for next year? Still wanna try for that trip that’s just me and Nick, but I’ve got my little brother’s graduation to go to in May and the North Carolina trip in August, which basically wipes out my PTO for the year, but we’ll see. Maybe we can take a weekend trip somewhere nice.

Oh. Also, I’m freaking excited for KINGDOM HEARTS 3?!

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018: Things can get better? Your life isn’t over if you don’t make it to college? Just. Things get better. We’ll go with that one. 46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I’m singin’ in the rain Just singin’ in the rain What a glorious feeling I’m happy again

First Fandom of 2018: January seemed to be an ecclectic mixture of Star Wars, Harry Potter, Captive Prince, The Exorcist, and Teen Wolf before I settled into Stranger Things at the end of the month. Favorite Main Character of 2018: Ahhhh. Fuck, I don’t know. Ryan Dalias or Doug Eiffel, probably. Favorite Villain of 2018: Damien, from the Bright Sessions. He’s not... exactly a big bad, but he certainly isn’t good. Also, Billy Hargrove. Favorite M/F Couple of 2018: I actually read a lot of Jaime/Brienne this year because astolat started writing it and it was just really solidly good. Oh, Miryem and the Staryk Lord was also A++ Favorite F/F Couple of 2018: I did not read or write any, but let me tell you, I felt Isabelle Lovelace and Renee Minkowski on a fucking galactic scale. Favorite M/M Couple of 2018: Mark/Damien and Billy/Steve absolutely dominated all of my other fandoms this year. But also, Ryan/Akmazian hurts my entire heart. Fandom That You Never Expected To Get Into: The Bright Sessions? I did not expect to actually have feelings about these characters. Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Read some Harry Potter and Thor fic sporadically throughout the year. And Pacific Rim 2 hit my like a freight train. Fandom That Inspired The Most Crack: Uh. Stranger Things, I guess? Last Fandom of 2018: I mean, technically I’ve been reading more Harringrove because of the holiday exchange, but I’m still pretty hung up on Wolf 359 and the Bright Sessions. Unfortunately, neither of them really have fic? Favorite Fandom of 2018: I liked all of them, but Stranger Things and The Bright Sessions was so much of my year I’m gonna have to go with those two.

[flowerinthenet]

13 Things That Annoy Me At Hockey Games

I haven’t posted in a while. I started a new job and hockey season was A LOT, but I think during the off season I may need to revive this blog in order to fill my Hockey Cravings. I say offseason because The Dallas Stars done did me dirty again and are missing the playoffs. Obviously I will be supporting Vegas this year, but things won’t be the same without my Stars Boys. THEY’RE GOOD BOYS, BRENT.

Anyway, at the last Stars home game of the season I started crafting this list SO, without further ado, here is:

13 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME AT HOCKEY GAMES

1. People who wear the jerseys of teams that aren’t playing

Are you lost bud? It’s Senators vs Stars and here you are, bold as brass, wearing your goddamn P*trick K*ne jersey in THIS, MY ARENA. I’M SORRY YOUR TEAM IS BAD THIS YEAR – DON’T TAKE IT OUT ON MY SENSE OF ORDER. And NO just because Minnesota also wears green doesn’t mean you can escape my watchful eye. Minnesota is a SORE SUBJECT and in this house we respect The Dallas Stars.

2. People who look at you funny when you’re loud and into the game.

If you wanted a nice relaxing night out then you’ve come to the wrong sporting event my friend. I get that you have oodles of cash and season tickets are a status symbol for you, but I paid a lot of damn money (relative to my itty bitty salary) to be here and I’m gonna enjoy myself, dammit! I will yell in support of my boys. I will drink a beer or two. I will get tipsy and loudly complain about how our offense is being incorrectly utilized. If you try to complain about our goal tending I will argue with you. I am living my best life and your stinkeye will not deter me.

3. People who start goalie chants

I don’t care if we are playing the Blackhawks, goalie chants are a garbage way for garbage people to act. If you try to start one in my section I will chant over you before you can get a foothold. It’s just mean. Go buy an 8 dollar hot dog.

4. People who scream at the players

I’m all for loudly enjoying the game, but when you start to screech at the ice like a possessed grackle I have to draw the line. We’re in the nosebleeds. The boys can’t hear you and if they could I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate your nonsense.

5. People who manspread in tiny little seats

I get it. You’re tall and you have balls and these seats are made for children. But nobody’s balls are that big, buddy. If you haven’t noticed, I’m a larger lady myself and I manage to stay in my allotted space just fine. If you spread your legs into my bubble I will be spreading right back. Get ready for some uncomfortable Knee on Knee action until you get back the fuck into your seat space. Your knee should not be crossing the line the armrest makes into MY territory and you will learn this lesson, SO HELP ME GOD.

6. People who yell curse words or slurs

I understand if we have a beautiful chance to score, miss it, and a “FUCK” slips out a little louder than intended. And obviously if a ref makes a bullshit call, the appropriate response is “BULLLLLSHIIIIIIIT,” but when you’re purposefully screaming obscenities as loud as you can at the players, regardless of intention, we’re gonna have a problem. There are kids around and your ass is drunk and obnoxious. I’m sorry you don’t understand the game and you’re bored because you have the attention span of a hamster, but learn some etiquette. And if slurs are involved? Oh buddy. I’ve never been ejected from a game, but I’m willing to give it a shot if it gets you to shut your mouth. And I’m not just talking racial or queer slurs – if you use one of those, you’re as good as dead – I’m talking gender slurs too. If I have to hear some entitled white boy call a player a “bitch” or a “pussy” one more time I might just lose it. So be a decent human being, please.

7. People who wear jerseys as dresses

I know you’re sexy and you wanna show off your freshly waxed legs. I understand. But this is a WINTER sport. It’s COLD in here. And I know you’re cold too because you have 4% body fat and the seats in the boxes are leather. Just wear some leggings! You’re gonna be a lot happier! And you’ll still look hot, I promise. Tyler Seguin isn’t going to fuck you though, and for that I’m truly sorry.

8. People who wolf whistle the Ice Girls

Those girls are making minimum wage and spending half of every paycheck on their own cosmetics for games in order to wear bras on the ice and put up with every drunk, middle-aged piece of shit’s attempts at flirting. Just leave them alone. You’re not funny. I’m sorry your wife left you. Go home Dan.

9. People who yell at players and beg them for a puck at warm ups

I know Jamie Benn was GONNA give that puck to the five year old with a cute sign, but now that you screamed at him twelve times to give it to you, a 20 something asshole, he’s changed his mind! What’s this? He’s climbing over the glass to shake your hand? He’s giving you his jersey? AND HIS CAPTAINCY? My god, it’s a good thing you harassed him all warmups. What a day for you. I’m deaf in one ear because you wouldn’t shut the fuck up, but I guess that’s a sacrifice I’ll have to make.

10. People who try to get on the glass during warmups – even though there are no spots left

I got here at 6:00 PM, when the doors to the arena opened, so I could get a halfway decent spot on the glass for warmups. You don’t get to saunter in at 7:10PM for a 7:30PM game start and shove your way to the front. I’m sorry you weren’t prepared for this evening. It is not my fault and no you cannot squeeze in next to me there is NO ROOM for your TARDINESS. You take the hand that was dealt to you!

11. People who shout “SHOOT” or “SKATE” loud enough for the whole damn arena to hear.

The only time this was ever okay was when some guy in the terrace below us screamed “SKATE FASTER” with such relatable desperation that my friends and I could not stop laughing about it for the rest of the game. Unless you are that guy, doing us all a service as we suffer through this nightmare, please keep your Advanced Hockey Strategies to yourself. Yes I wish they would shoot too. Yes I know Hitch’s defense first approach has killed our offense everywhere but our first line. Yes I know you see a shooting lane from above that the players on the ice can’t see. I get it Scott. I understand. It’s okay. We’re all in this together. Now be quiet and suck back the soda in your 9 dollar commemorative plastic cup.

12. People who boo their own team

B I T C H. IF YOU CAME HERE TO BE A NEGATIVE FUCKING NANCY YOU CAN GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. These are my BOYS. Even when they hurt me like this they are my BOYS. BOO THE OTHER DAMN TEAM YOU MONSTERS.

13. People who leave the arena early when we’re losing.

We all have to work tomorrow, Susan. We’re all disappointed that it would take a miracle to win this game now. But if you THINK I’m gonna abandon my TEAM in their hour of need, you got another thing coming. I am here til the BITTER END. So GO. Beat the traffic – but I know where your true loyalties lie.

[anaxolotladay]

( big fucking word dump to get my thoughts together; TW for antisemitism and a lack of editing

tentatively titled, “Lucky”, ‘til i can edit it to the essay i want to write )

❝  We didn’t know much about Jesus of Nazareth at all, but wasn’t that guy Jewish, too? He wasn’t as lucky as I was.  ❞

it took a while for me to be able to joke about being the “token jew friend”. because really, what was so “token” about it? ever since i stopped wearing my star and keeping my hair tied up, it’s harder to tell. i’ve been teased about “pointed ears” and my family’s long-passed-down “jewy nose”, but with these thick rimmed glasses, it takes the attention away. i’m aware of the privilege my skin color affords me. nobody looks too hard; i’m passing. i’m lucky, something i’ve always been told by every generation of family i meet. i’m lucky, and i know it.

my elementary schooling was private hebrew schools (on scholarship for our low income large family, where my mom worked as a school employee) between two different states. i grew up in so many jewish communities and with such a large family, i never thought of it to be so different.

that was lucky.

fifth grade- the first year of junior high- we couldn’t afford private school any longer, nor could the majority of my sixteen-person grade level. three of us switched to the same public middle school. nobody knew where we came from, but that was alright until somebody asked. Dan H. in art class asked if we were “hebrews”, because “oh, i thought ‘jew’ was a bad word”. the three of us laughed! that was hilarious! until he started interrogating us, asking us if we knew it was OUR people who killed Jesus.

we didn’t know much about Jesus of Nazareth at all, but wasn’t that guy Jewish, too?

he wasn’t as lucky as i was.

throughout middle school, more and more students had just started to learn about the Holocaust and Hitler- aka my second grade history unit, aka my family history-- and all the jokes they’d heard and read about began to make sense. the “shoah”, the “fire”, the “ovens”. hilarious. the wise words of my old hebrew teacher echoed in my ears: as long as we don’t forget, it will never happen again. but i started wondering why we had to teach THESE kids about it, and fuel THEIR jokes. middle school, it was mostly all just poorly timed jokes in bad taste.

THAT was lucky.

come high school, i shared a bus with the only other jewish kid in my neighborhood, Ari J.-- a year younger than me, left our old hebrew school a year later than me. he was a bully and i hated his guts, yet, he was kin. we didn’t talk in all my four years of high school. but at the back of the bus sat another group of boys, the ones who wore shirts that read: “That’s nice, babe, now make me a sandwich”, and called eachother “f*gs”, and told jokes in racist accents. they were larger than Ari and i combined. we kept our heads down.

they dared not crack the same racist jokes in the hallways of school-- there were black, indian, AND asian teachers around, who could call their parents, god forbid!-- but the gays and the jews of the school? outnumbered and quiet. i heard nazi jokes shouted two hallways down. i heard the laughter that followed.

one day, boarding the bus about four seats in front of Ari, the ringleader of Back of the Bus Bad Boys waltzes up the steps and shouts, “HEY, you Jew in the back!!!” i felt my blood run cold, and sat completely still as he stormed down the aisle. i smelled his gym sweat as he breezed past my seat, and exhaled a relieved sigh. except, turning around to see who he was referring to, i couldn’t believe my eyes: the lot of them had slid into and behond Ari’s seat, were tousling his hair, were shoving his shoulders and laughing. “Pretty hot outside, but not as hot as those ovens, am I right?” i couldn’t hear if Ari replied. i didn’t know what to do. the bus lurched forward and the insults were hurled louder: “Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy, y’know? Just incompetent. He never carried through, but he had the vision.” when i got home that day, i cried and cried. the next morning, i reported them to the counselor, but begged her to wait a few days to take action; what if they thought it was Ari who’d reported it? what would they do to him?

would he be so lucky again?

a year later, i’m on a trip to New York City- the second time i’ve been, but the first time alone with my mom. it was a busy day over school break, and the city was bustling-- walking back to our lodging, there was a pro-palestine rally occurring about a block away. flags were waving! people were shouting for justice! it was amazing! we raised our fists in support and kept walking. but after packing our bags and leaving the same way we came in, we stepped to the sidewalk and heard louder noise down the road. the streets were stuffed to gills, police officers stood with their backs to the rally, face to the crowd. the proud rally had turned angry, blaming not israel for their troubles, but their “rabbinic leaders”. new flags were hoisted, depicting the magen david, star of david, crossed out in red. their faces were pink with righteous fury, shouting against the ears of the officers to let them march, to take vengeance on their jewish oppressors. my mother and i ducked to the back of the crowd, removed our star necklaces, and kept our heads down. i felt the points digging into my palm. i wore it a few times afterwards-- the star i’d fawned over at our Yom Ha’Atzmaut festival, supporting local israeli immigrants, bought for me in surprise by my bubbe-- but after the chain broke, i couldn’t find it in me to wear again. i’d never felt so scared, but i emerged unnoticed and unharmed.

that was the luckiest i had ever been.

during my first year of community college, i had a class with a nazi apologist. nobody thought about it too hard, since he was also the best designer in our group, but walking to our class, i’d hear him shout from behind me: “What’s up, you fucking kike?!” i’d never heard it out loud before. when i whirled around, it turns out he was greeting his “buddy” further up in front of me. i walked a little faster to class, hoping he wasn’t suspicious of me now.

he wasn’t. how lucky of me.

on that same campus, i heard more jewish slurs than i could even recognize at the time. some i’d only read of. others were learned of in hindsight. ignorance was bliss. past tense.

i told my family these stories, face burning. my zayde’s eyebrows would raise and my mother would shake her head, recounting her own stories. my siblings had never been familiar with these terms. i wish i could apologize for teaching them.

they were pretty lucky, too.

when i transferred schools, it was during election season. i never brought up my judaism until the high holidays-- early in the school year-- when i’d need to miss class, and would be returning home to NY for a few days. even then, i told my roommates and teachers, that was it. i was alone for some of those holidays for the first time ever, and there was no community to be found. it was an irrelevant secret.

during election season, however, were the pro-Trump rallies. the protests. the women’s marches and the mud slinging. some of my friends saw words on the news that they’d never heard of before. the mistake i had made was explaining them, outing myself. again, it was no big deal at the time, my friends were supportive.

but from then on, i was referred to as one of their “minority friends”. and that was annoying, because i didn’t have the right to claim that title. i wasn’t being “oppressed”. i had just started to learn about “privilege” and “oppression” and politics and diversity. i knew i was privileged, i never had the RIGHT to claim oppression. i didn’t experience racism daily and i never would. there were people of color who were harassed and discriminated against and denied service because of the way they LOOKED, things they could not change about themselves. i will never experience that. it was 2016, i was not oppressed!

multiple times, i was introduced to others as the “jewish friend”. and it stopped bothering me, because it wasn’t untrue. apparently, jews were a rarity in these parts. it was funny. it was part of my identity. and for the most part, people didn’t care. 

then, our 45th president was elected.

within three days, over four dozen synagogues, campuses, homes and vehicles had been vandalized with swastikas. jewish cemeteries were torn apart. hasidic civilians were punched in the faces. i couldn’t bring myself to call home for an entire week, because that would mean admitting out loud that i was scared. my research writing essay that semester was a small 8-page essay, analyzing and documenting the rise in jewish hate crimes, and where they happened. i had to stay in the know. i brushed up on jewish history. i listened to family stories. i relearned everything i could so i knew how to navigate arguments, debates, and accusations. afterall, i’d been pretty sure i was the only jew on campus.

within a year, i met another one. it shouldn’t have been such a big deal, but my excitement was tangible. we’d throw yiddish back and forth and tease eachother in brooklynese or russian-bubbe accents. he knew what holidays i would refer to. it wasn’t a big part of the friendship, but it was nice to have some familiarity.  i was brought into a new group of friends who were curious, and eager to learn. i’d never thought about judaism as a culture or history before that, until these discussions ensued and i realized just how MUCH my life was shaped by it. and it was fun to share stories and meals and holidays with people who wanted to celebrate with me.

this past semester was the first time i didn’t go home for the high holidays. i found a synagogue in the next city over, and two whole other jews who wanted to celebrate with me on campus! on yom kippur, we met up to break the fast. they were clearly as excited to meet another jew as i was.

unfortunately, i was a girl. a “nice jewish girl”, if you will. their view bled into the conversation. and on top of that, one of them wanted to chant the barucha, loudly, OUT LOUD, in the middle of a dinner-busy campus dining hall. the other guy and i mumbled it with our heads kept down. suddenly, we were tense. we were scared. my roommates asked me why that was. i told them that you can’t just chant hebrew in public in this day and age!  why was that? have you ever heard of muslims speaking arabic in public and being labeled terrorists? do you understand the kind of danger semitic languages entail?!

we had been ignored, but some folks aren’t so lucky!

a week ago, i was walking down the hall of my class building. it was mostly empty, save for one or two other students. out of the blue, i hear one of them say loudly, “Shalom!” i spun around. “excuse me?” the girl walking behind me laughed and said, “it’s just something he does”. we walked down the hall for a few more min, chuckling about it. i asked if she or he was jewish, she said neither of them were, but thought it was hilarious when i explained how the guy had managed to say “shalom” to the only jew in the department.

i let out a breath i hadn’t realized i’d been holding. funny, right? he never would’ve guessed.

yesterday, at 9:50 AM, a synagogue was shot up an hour and a half away from me. but not just any synagogue. one of the most well known conservative shuls in the Squirrel Hill area.  in particular, the one my pittsburgh family were members of. the one i had watched my two cousins become bat and bar mitzvahs on the bimmah of. the one i had, for the first time, met three branches of family from my adopted uncles’ side, family who had welcomed me to their congregation and introduced me personally to the rabbi: “Yes! She’s our brothers’ niece! Our family has come such a long way to celebrate with us, tonight!” and then-rabbi, Rabbi Chuck, laughed a booming sound and shook my hand with both of his, cracking jokes and telling me how happy he was i was here.

yesterday, at the Tree of Life--Or L’Simcha temple, there was a baby naming ceremony- a time in jewish tradition where a new baby of the community is spoken into the family and recognized by the congregation. the rabbi will speak its names-- english and hebrew-- and the world rejoices under them.  yesterday, there were twins to be celebrated. yesterday, three congregations had come together under one roof, so many families and friends supporting and celebrating the new arrival.

yesterday, a celebration of life turned into a vigil mourning death.

eleven shulgoers were not so lucky.

i have never met Rabbi Hazzan Myers, but i know he’s taken care of the community since then. i can’t imagine the fear he must have felt, after hosting the tight-knit community he’s helped build, harbor, and lead. i can’t imagine walking back into that building a week from now and continuing to read torah, the way i know he will.

Rabbi Hazzan will forever remember how lucky he was, to make it to next week’s torah portion. living in a community that has always been safe, and hospitable, and embraced eachother as neighbors, the remaining minyan will never forget how lucky they were, as well.

my family in pittsburgh-- aunt janice, uncle steve, and cousins hannah and tyler-- were so lucky to have stayed home, yesterday morning, and i am so lucky that we live in a day and age of cellular devices.

i was on the phone with my father and grandfather, both in florida, when dad received a group text between his brothers, their sister janice, and him, assuring everyone that they were home safe. he asked me to look up what happened in pittsburgh.

i never thought it would be my family.

i never thought it would be their home.

12 casualties could have been 16.

i’m so lucky it’s not my family sitting shivah, this week.

[bibooozeta]

Honestly not really mad at the way he went

I mean it was trauma, don't get me wrong, but I think people should understand that this Is a show. Fave characters die in TV shows all the time, and it's bad because the reason you like them is that you associate a part of yourself tò them. Like, the reason why everyone loved Eddie Munson is that most of these people (me, fe) have been there, being called the freak by the whole community,being pushed away, having shit saod to you behind your back.

The whole point of this character is he is unapologethically the thing that he wants to be, pushes for the people he has close to do the same and he shelters them when things do not go quite ok for them, providing distraction in forms of escapism (dnd)

He dying, man, it was called since Ep 1

"this Is my year, i can feel It"

"i'm gonna graduate this year"

"you are the future of Hellfire"

"i'm a coward, i turn heel and run"

And the whole murder frenzy went around, you think even if he made it out somehow he wouldn't have ended up cuffed?

I saw people saying that they could've pinned It all on Jason but the town eated up anything the kid said. Also THE ENTIRE TOWN was in a fuck*ng weapon store (also I'm from Europe, do you guys in the US seriously have places like that, where a teenage girl walks up to the clerk with a shotgun in her ends and says 'how much?') gearing up to end him. And you thought he would have made it out of that shitshow?

My boy, he sure as hell didn't think so. So when Dustin was safe through the gate, he realize that he probably was not that safe, because Demo-bats could be swarming in for his bedroom in the Upside Down and up through the portal to get at them. .

Think about It: either the swam follows them into Hawkins once they were on the other side and the whole Town Is put in danger, OR It does not in fact follow, and goes back to Creel House and the whole plan goes bye bye, so he creates a distraction and leads them away

And he does so, and then he is running , and he needs to prove to himself that he is no coward, no coward at all, and he puts himself in danger, so that the Demo Bat stay with him, and do not wonder either back or into hawkins.

His name could not be cleared, we knew It fron the start, small city, small brains and dumb hicks wpuldn't have handled well the whole Vecna shitshow, there was no way to explain that he was innocent.

Only thing that pisses me off Is that we see nobody from the gang but Dustin mourn, almost as of he never was a part of this, when really he was what started thia whole thing.

But I wouldn't call It bad writing. I mean, I sat through 8 season of game of Thrones, watched some of my faves get the worst deaths you can Imagine for eight years AND got the worst writing ever on the finale.

Or The Walking Dead, the king of all bad writings show, made watchable only for the characters and actors.

Eddie died a hero and will be missed dearly by those who really got to know him.

Bye, baby.

[bts-soccer-moms]

!!Soft Fluff Bias Tag 💜

We were tagged by @denim-jins. Thank you! It was so much fun!

Toni

1. Who is my bias?

Our wonderful leader: joonie.

2. What made you notice them?

I'm a slut for smart guys and Intellectuals so this was pretty much a no brainer for me. I was in denial for some time tho.

3. What's your favorite thing about them?

I pretty much love everything about him wich is pretty embarrassing tbh. I love that he is so tall and can seem quite intimidating but he's actually the sweetest and nobody is really scared of him lol. I feel like he takes everyone very seriously and you could have the best conversations with him. But he is also really daddy. Like the ddaeng performance snatched my wig. What the fuck joonie not okay.

4. Who would initiate skinship more?

Probably me. I'm a little like jiminie in that regard. I just love cuddling.

5. Who would hog the blankets more?

If you steal my blankets imma whoop your ass. One blanket each. I hate shared blankets!

6. Who would be more clingy?

I don't think either of us would be very clingy. I need my alone time and I think Joonie does too. I like it when things come naturally and I think Joonie is pretty sensitive so he will know when it's time to spend some time together.

7. Who would say I love you first?

Him probably lol. I have never said I love you. I take that shit very fucking seriously. I don't know. When it feels right I will say it but I'll probably take my time so it's possible he'll beat me to it.

8. Who would be more easily flusteted?

Him. Like have you seen the guy? He is so easy to make flustered and imma make sure to take advantage of that.

9. What cuddling position would you two have?

Spooning and I'd be the little spoon. He's perfect for that with his long ass arms and big ass body. Or I will lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

10. Which colors remind you of him?

I don't really know. Soothing colors I think like a light blue and a deep green. I think he has a very calming presence.

11. What season would you like to spend with them?

I fucking love autumn. It's the best time. It has the best light. The best colors. The best food. The best fashion. Let's cuddle up to each other with a tea and listen to the rain outside. Fuck. Yes. And I almost forgot Halloween! Halloween is the best. Couples costume of something obscure nobody but us understands please because I am obnoxious.

12. Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

I think we'd both start together and both eat everything before we could put it in the oven because we are idiots.

13. Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

Again, both of us. And we'd both cringe and then laugh about it trying to one up each other with bad puns until everybody in the room has left.

14. Who would want to adopt 50 cats and dogs?

I don't want that many actually. I just want a few that I can really love. So I think none of us.

15. Which one of you would almost burn the kitchen down trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

Lol do you have to ask?

16. Who likes to lean over train railings and who would pull them back?

Him. I bet he would get fascinated by something and then just forget about the danger. And I'd die of a heart attack every time because he still doesn't really know how to control his long ass limbs.

17. What would watching horror movies with them be like?

I think we'd both like to try and then fail. I think horror is such a cool genre but I am a fucking pussy. So we'd sit down and try to focus on the plot and talk about our fears and stuff. And the there'd be a jump scare and we'd shit our pants.

18. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

Both a mixture of both I think depending on the mood. I think Joonies game becomes pretty smooth when he's being his deep ass self but when he tries to be all fuckboy it's cringy as hell.

19. Who would be more competitive?

I'm only competitive when it's about being right lol. So we'd argue about a fact and then Google it and the loser would grumble and sit in a corner for a while.

20. Who would have to be given constant reminders (to eat, sleep, drink etc.?)

I hope none of us. I hope we'd find a rhythm where we can do these things together naturally.

21. Who sends memes and who sends cute "I miss you" texts at 3 am?

I send memes. Because when I see something that reminds me of him I'll send it to him. Also I'm an asshole. I hate being cheesy. I think Joonie would be really cute. Especially when he has to work late.

Marie

1. Who is my bias?

the one and only: yoongi. (that gif gives me all the feels)

2. What made you notice them?

i honestly don’t remember. toni introduced me to bts and i was watching a bunch of videos and at some point my brain was like: i want this idiot, plz. and fire did the rest...

3. What’s your favorite thing about them?

where do i start? i love that he is so passionate about his music. he is a man with a plan and not afraid to dream big and work hard. i have a lot of respect for everything he does and did. i also love that he cares so much about the people he love. he doesn’t have to constantly say it but he rather shows it. he is such a softie but pretends not to be. another thing i just adore: he sees the person first and doesn’t judge a book by it’s cover. and last but not least OBVIOUSLY his hands. lol.

4. Who would initiate skinship more?

that’s a hard one because i think neither of us are very touchy, touchy people. but i’m very cuddly with select people, so i would say probably me?

5. Who would hog the blankets more?

two words: separate blankets. i need to sleep wrapped up like a burrito. cuddling is nice but when it comes to sleeping there is my side and his side. 

6. Who would be more clingy?

i think neither of us would be very clingy tbh. i love my freedom and i think so does yoongi. we both probably need our “me-time”. i feel trapped when people are too clingy. but there is also a huge difference in talking each day and being clingy in my opinion. 

7. Who would say I love you first?

i think yoongi would? he has the softest heart and i think he would say it as soon as he feels it. it would take me forever to say it out loud because i overthink EVERYTHING and i would be too afraid to say it. 

8. Who would be more easily flustered? 

we are both tsundere AF. we both get flustered way to easy.

9. What cuddling position would you two have?

head on his chest all the way! i love listening to people’s heartbeats.

10. Which colors remind you of him?

i would say ruby red, because it’s such a strong and powerful color but at the same time it’s warm and calming.

11. What season would you like to spend with them?

winter! especially the christmas time. first of all because i love christmas! but also because it’s the season of staying inside, drinking hot drinks and watching stupid, romantic movies on tv. and christmas time is family time. i have a big family and we spend most weekends leading up to christmas together, playing games, eating food and drinking mulled wine. spending christmas with my family is basically the ultimate boyfriend test. 

12. Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

i love baking, so i would probably bake the cookies and i always make sure that everyone around me can steal the batter. i always need someone to try the batter so i will probably force him to “steal” some. lol.

13. Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

i will make awful puns because i learned from the best (my dad and my grandpa) and i laugh about the stupidest shit. well... and we all know what yoongi thinks of bad puns. :D

14. Who would want to adopt 50 cats and dogs?

neither of us honestly. i think we are both rational in that way. even though i’m an impulse buyer...

15. Which one of you would almost burn the kitchen down trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to rescue?

i’m actually a good cook but i cut myself quite regularly because i’m an idiot. so he would have to protect me from my own stupidity. but i think yoongi could burn the kitchen down just to prove that he can flambé something, because he’s stubborn. 

16. Who likes to lean over train railings and who would pull them back?

i think both of us are fans of safety. lol. 

17. What would watching horror movies with them be like?

well he said he’s not the biggest fan of horror movies. i love horror movies tho but i don’t really enjoy watching them with people who don’t like them. but if he would watch one with me, he would have to protect me afterwards. because even though i love to be spooked, i’m always super scared afterwards. 

18. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

i think we both would be accidentally cheesy flirts. i feel like we both would find the strangest things super cheesy and some things okay. he would probably try to be smooth but fail miserably. 

19. Who would be more competitive? 

when it comes to games: i’m usually not very competitive but just the fact that he gets super whiney when he loses at a game would make me competitive. i’m a huge asshole to people who can’t lose. :D

20. Who would have to be given constant reminders (to eat, sleep, drink etc.)?

yoongi. 100% he’s a workaholic. he needs someone to take care of him and i would say i’m a very caring person. that’s how i show my love to people, making sure they stay happy and healthy. but at the same time i can't take care of myself so he would have to remind me of that too. lol.

21. Who sends memes and who sends cute “I miss you” texts at 3 am?

again yoongi has the softest heart. i think he would send i miss you text, because he actually cares a lot about the people he loves and what to remind them, that he cares. i just love to send memes. that’s kinda how i show my love to people like: sending people random pictures, because it reminded me of them. 

Hope you enjoyed it! :D

We tag @sugakookiesbutbadass, @honeystae, @kc-junghsk @casuallydylan, @spankpjm and everyone that wants to join! :)

[spntvdhunger]

STUCK WITH YOU PART TWO: What’s up, tiger mommy? 8x02

Characters: Female!Reader, Dean, Sam, Kevin, Castiel, Crowley, and many more…

Warnings: A/U, eventually smut, swearing, lots of angst, graphic violence…

Pairings: DeanxReader

Summary: The reader is a huntress and she met the Winchesters when leviathans were everywhere. She joined them to fight Dick after Bobby died and she slowly started falling for Dean, but she knew that the only thing she could have with him was a single fun night. Finally, they found a way to stop Dick, but Dean disappeared, and the reader was immediately invested to find a way of bringing him back, but Sam bailed the very first minute. What would happen when a year after, Dean shows up looking for Kevin but not her?

Word count: 3780

SERIES MASTERLIST

GIFS/IMAGES NOT MINE CREDIT TO OWNERS

A/N1: I’ve been wanting to write this since a very long time and finally I got myself some time to start. I don’t really know how often I will update it but I intent to make a long series on this, so if you want to be tagged let me now!

A/N2: I recently rewatch all the series and I came up with this. I know that nobody likes season 7 but I think it fits perfectly with this series, however, it’s placed mostly in season 8 with flashbacks and I intent to take it all the way until season 10.

A/N3: Sorry for any mayor mistakes. Remember I am not a native speaker, I do this because I love writing, English, Supernatural and Dean. This is for practice 😊 Thanks.

WHAT’S UP TIGER MOMMY?

Our lives keep on gettin' shorter Losin' opportunity There might be some other ways of looking at it but That's just what I see I been gettin' over myself Thinkin' about what you need Then I realised that neither of us matter What's reality, yeah?

A few days passed, and you were stuck with the Winchesters, again. At least you had Kevin, you thought, but you weren’t in the mood of talking… Until Kevin asked for something you thought it was like a suicide mission.

“Is it too much to ask if we can swing by and check on my mom?” Kevin said, holding the burger in his hands. You almost choked with yours. “‘Swing by?’ It's a day's drive in the opposite direction. You know that, right?” Dean said. “Yes. I understand we're in a hurry.” Kevin answered. “Okay, well, then, what's the problem?”

“Channing's broken neck is my problem! As in I'd rather not see my mom twisted into a corkscrew.” Kevin’s voice getting higher. You took a zip of your coke and shook your head, no way you were going to see his mom. “Kid's got a point, Dean.”

“Stay out of this.” Both, Dean and you said. “Kevin, your mom is fine.” You said. “How can you possibly know that?” Kevin insisted. “Because Crowley needs her to be, okay? In fact, he's probably got the place stacked with bodyguards right now, protecting her so that when you do show up, they'll pounce on you both.” Dean nodded after you had finish talking.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Kevin was getting a little irritated, maybe even more because apparently you chose Dean’s side instead of backing up him, but the truth was that you knew that going to his mom’s house could be a bad idea.

“She's bait, man, plain and simple. And you want to swim right up and bite the hook?” Dean said, and Kevin didn’t answer. “Look, we have got Crowley by the short and curlies, okay? All we need to do is find the tablet, whip up the spell, and – boom! – sunshine and sandy beaches.” He added.

Kevin sighed. “Dean, my mom's all alone. She's surrounded by demons. Can you really not understand why I want to make sure she's okay?” Dean looked at Sam and shrugged. “Son of a bitch.” He dropped his burger into his plate. Fine, let’s go.” You shook our head. “What?!”

And yeah, that got you into another day of traveling with them. You knew how much Kevin missed his mother and you understand it but going now was the worst thing you could do. Hell, again those men weren’t listening to you.

And now you were at Neighbor, Indiana, parking outside the house. Kevin was sitting with you at the back seats, forcing his eyes to view a little better across the curtains.

“Tiger mom, 9 o'clock.” Kevin snatched the binoculars from Sam, almost hitting you in the process. “Where?” He climbed over you to get closer to the window. “Left window.” You had to move back, but you saw Mrs. Tran. “She seems okay. Sad... but okay.” Then your sight caught the mailman, who seemed a little odd for you. “Check out the mailman.” You said. Kevin looked through the binoculars and he shrugged. “Yeah, that’s Carl. So, what?”

“Yeah, well, Carl's filled your mom's mailbox three times since we've been sitting here.” You said. “He’s a demon?” You nodded. “And see the gardener? Think that plant needs any more water?” Dean pointed to the gardener and you saw water spilling onto the street. “Ok, we need a plan.”

Few minutes later you came up with a simple plan; fucking kill all the demons and get inside. Simple, but not that easy. You were in charge of Kevin and took him behind a bush, where you’ll wait for the sign to move but first you had to cut the water off, so you could distract the demon. Done that you ran again to your spot with Kevin and waited.

Once the demon went to check the water, Dean came out and stab him in the chest. The mailman demon heard it and went to check, so once he opened the backyard door he found Dean waving at him, just to later be stabbed by Sam.

“Clear!” You heard Dean’s voice and you jump out of the bushes. Kevin instantly ran to the door. The door was opened by Mrs. Tran after Kevin knocked and her face changed completely when he saw his son again. “Hi, mom.” He said. You and Dean were hiding next to the door and Sam was at the other side. “Oh! Kev– Kevin!” She opened her arms, ready to hug him but Dean and Sam stepped forward from either side of Kevin and threw holy water on Mrs. Tran. “Ah! Oh! What...” She complained. “She’s clean.” Dean declared.

Kevin hugged his mother, while she cried of happiness. You stepped forward too, glancing at the brothers. “Savages.” You said, crossing your arms. “Do you smell that?” Sam asked, wrinkling his nose. “Sulfur.” You said, catching the scent.

The three of you entered the house. Taking out your sword you went up to the second floor, when you heard Sam’s voice conjuring an exorcism, so you ran back. You found everybody in the kitchen, where a demon was leaving the body of a woman. The first thing you did was put yourself in front of Kevin and his mom, wielding your sword. “Et secta diabolica, omnis congregatio, omnis legio, omnis incursion...” You frowned… A reverse exorcism? The black smoked returned to her mouth. “infernalis adversarii, omnis spiritus exorcizamus!” Dean jumped into action and stabbed her, killing her and the demon.

“Eunis!” Mrs. Tran screamed in horror. “That’s not Eunis.” Dean quickly said. Mrs. Tran was in shocked and it was understandable, she had just witnessed how a stranger killed her neighbor in front of her, that, just for the record, was possessed by a demon. But she looked oddly calm, though. She was taking the shock of the supernatural better than most people.

“Mrs. Tran, your friend was possessed by a demon.” Sam started. She frowned. “Have you ever seen ‘The Exorcist’”? Her son asked her, she glared him. “s that what you've been doing all year – watching television?” It almost sound like she was scolding him. “Did you really have to kill her?” She asked Dean.

“The demon would have warned Crowley where Kevin was if we didn't.” He responded. She was truly tacking it way better than you’ve expected. “And Crowley is the one who kidnapped you?” Kevin nodded. “Yeah. He needs me to translate his stupid tablet, so he can take over the universe or something.”

“Which is why we need to get it so that we can slam the gates of Hell forever with Crowley inside.” Now you glared him. You knew that that was the right thing to do, but it implicated risking Kevin and you weren’t down for that. Dean noticed your glared and he shrugged with innocence. “So that things like that don't ever happen again.” Sam added.

“Prophet of the Lord, huh? It does have a nice ring to it.” That somehow made Kevin smiled a little bit. Mrs. Tran got up. “I'll get packed.” You looked at her and smiled, she reminded you of your own mother. “We're gonna need a safe house since Crowley's been to the cabin, so…” You started until you got interrupted by her. “Safe house? I thought we were going to get the tablet.”

“Uh, we are. You're taking a trip to a demon-free zone.” Dean intervened, moving his finger in circles, pointing Sam, Dean and you. Since when you signed up for tablet hunting with them? “And risk letting Kevin fall into the hands of this Crowley again? I don't think so.” She replied.

“Ms. Tran, all due respect, Dean's right. Crowley – he's not just a killer. He trades in torment. And if he can find a way to separate your soul from you, he'll take that soul to Hell and – and roast it till there's nothing left but black smoke.” Sam said. You frowned. “Whoa you didn’t have to be that specific.” You said, he looked at you and shook his head before continuing. “Look, it's best if you let us handle this.”

“I understand. But it's not my soul I'm worried about. It's my son's” She said with her arms folded. “Kevin, you want to back us up here? Came all the way down here to pull her out of the fire, and now she wants to jump right back in.” Dean asked. “Like I can tell her what to do?” Kevin said.

Mrs. Tran didn’t smile but she gave you all the same look, like she had just won a competition. Hella she reminded you of your mother. “All right. Coming with us has conditions – uh, hex bags to stay off the bad guys' radar and, uh, you're gonna have to get inked up.”

“Do what, now?” Kevin asked with fear in his voice. “Yeah, uh...” You pulled your shirt up, revealing the anti-possession-demon tattoo next to your navel. You didn’t realize it, but when you did that, Dean’s whole body froze and for a single second he thought on his hands over you…He cleared his throat and shook his head, trying to keep that thought away. “You, too, shortstop. Keeps the demons out.”

“Fine.” Mrs. Tran said. “Really?” Dean asked surprised. “What, like it's my first tattoo?” Yeah, that woman was just as fierce as your mother. Kevin face was full of surprise and confusion and you couldn’t help but laugh.

After visiting the tattoo parlor and Kevin winning like a baby during the entire process, you went to the train station, where Kevin had hide the tablet. But when Dean opened the locker, he found a bag. “You hid the Word of God in a diaper bag?” He said ironically. “No…” Dean looked through the bag, which seemed to be empty and Sam smirked. “Shut up.” He tossed the bag back in the locker and slam the door. “Now, where the hell is it.” You mumbled.

They had to go with the feds suits, of course. You bite your lip while you were waiting with Kevin and his mother. The Winchesters were talking with the security guy, they were looking for an explanation or something that could tell them were the tablet could be. “Hey, Y/N? It’s Y/N right?” Mrs. Tran asked you. You smiled and nodded. “Yeah.” She smiled and nodded too. “So, you were with my son this whole time?” “No, I found him a few months ago just when he ditched Crowley and I felt like it I needed to keep him safe.” Her smile grew bigger and put a hand over your leg. “Thanks.” She looked at his son, then back to you. “And that guy, Dean… Are you together or something?” Your heart jumped to your throat. “What? Uhm… No. Dean and me? No, of course not.” You couldn’t find any words to form a coherent sentence. Your cheeks blushing.

“No, they are not together. She’s pretty much in love with him but then he disappeared and…” Kevin recited. “Oh, shut up Kevin!” You ordered, making his mom laugh.

Apparently, a guy stole the tablet from the locker and now the brothers needed to go to the county, so they could talk to him. You, Kevin and Mrs. Tran waited for them inside the Impala while they talked to the guy. It didn’t take them long though, half an hour later they were back and now you were heading to a pawn shop.

When you descended the car, you couldn’t help but noticed the red Ferrari that was parked in front of the store. You followed the brothers closely, close enough to see how Dean’s shoulders looked with that suit, damn he looked good with it. You stayed close to the door, pretending to see the showcases.

You could listen how that guy really wasn’t the cooperative type, but you did nothing until you hear Mrs. Tran jumping into action. And you got very surprised how she got the information just by mentioning his taxes. “So, what's it going to be – the tablet or that piece of Eurotrash crap you call a car?” She finally said.

You arrived at the address the guy gave you and it was a motel. Dean knocked on the door, but he got no answer, until a man showed up behind you. “I am Beau and I have something for you.” The man said and pulled out an envelope from his pocket. “An invitation, dear man, to a very exclusive auction.”

“Let me guess – where you'll be selling the tablet?” Dain said. “Well, when we acquire an item as hot as the Word of God, it's smart to unload it as fast as possible. And we are in such desperate need of a headliner for tonight's gala.” Beau said.

After assuring the safety of Kevin during the auction, Beau left the same way he appeared. Now you needed a plan, you had nothing to bid for the auction, but that wasn’t the only way. You just needed to get close enough to the tablet, so Kevin could memorize it. Boom! Excellent plan!

You showed up to the abandoned warehouse that was surprisingly full of people, how many of them would happen to be human? Who knows. Your mouth got dry as soon as you saw the objects that were there… The Davinci’s code… That was Thor’s hammer? Until you reached the tablet… But it was covered. Plan A was ruined.

“It's okay. It's okay. We just got to come up with a plan ‘B.’” You said. “And what, pray tell, could possibly have been plan ‘A’?” Suddenly Crowley appeared. Same as before, you ran to cover Kevin. “Bring the Prophet to the most dangerous place on Earth, memorize the tablet, and then vamoose?” You frowned. “Hello, boys.”

Crowley continued his fucking monologue, damn he loved the sound of his own voice. “And who is this lovely young thing? Must be your sister.” He said getting closer to Mrs. Tran, when suddenly she slapped his face. “Stay away from my son.” She hissed.  

Before anything else could happen, two doors opened and then a man that was supposed to be Plutus showed up, announcing the auction was going to begin. All of you look for a seat, but Dean was stopped by a young boy dressed up in a red and white uniform. You decided to pay attention to their little conversation once you hear him asking about Castiel.

“Well, me and Cas – we, uh – we iced Dick Roman and got a one-way rocket ride to Purgatory for our trouble.” Dean said, to the angel that now was re-baptized as Alfie.” But you escaped. Did – did Castiel?” Dean didn’t respond. “You know, there are some in Heaven who still believe, despite his mistakes, that Castiel's heart was always in the right place.”

You shook your head and looked where the rest was sitting, before looking back at Dean, that now was standing alone, with his face pointing the ground. Purgatory… He must be thinking in purgatory. And you couldn’t imagine what Dean’s has gone through, he got back a little more broken. And your pure heart wanted to pick up all his pieces.

The auction started, and everybody started to take out everything; fake cards, legit credit cards from Mrs. Tran, bills, you even took you mother’s bracelet.

“Our first item, the amulet of Hesperus. Let's start the bidding with, um, three tons of dwarven gold?” Beau said and with that your plan B was ruined too. “Plan C?” Sam mumbled. “Big time.” You answered. “I’m gonna use the restroom.” Dean said and stand up.  

While he was going to actually look for the restroom, he saw a guard taking all the auction items to what it looked like a storage room, so he followed him and then try to open the door and he saw the tablet in there.

Dean got back just in time for the tablet auction, just after the hammer of Thor was sold for 5/8 of a virgin and a bone. Crowley was the first one to bid. “Three billion dollars.” Dean, Sam and you turned your heads and left a “Whoa” escape. Then Alfie stand up and bid. “The Mona Lisa.”

You then caught up in the middle of a bid war, where both, angel and demon were bidding things you could barely imagine. “Ah. I'm sorry, gentlemen. It seems that our reserve price has not been met. So, in order to stimulate the bidding, we're going to add an item to this lot…” Beau said, pointing towards you “…Kevin Tran, Prophet of the Lord.”

“No!” Mrs. Tran and you screamed, jumping of your seats. Kevin disappeared from next to you and appeared in front of everybody, chained. “No, stop! I'll give you whatever you want. I have a 401(K), my house.” Plutus chuckled. “Good effort, Ms. Tran, but I'm afraid this is a little out of your price range.”

“My soul.” Plutus seemed interested, even after Crowley said he would give him million souls if that’s what he wanted. “It's not about the quantity, chief. It's about the sacrifice. This little lady's soul is the most valuable thing she has. It's everything. Are you willing to offer everything, Mr. Crowley?”

If that was plan C, or plan S, it worked. Plutus took the offer, but you felt a pression over your stomach, that wasn’t right. Then you had to wait to the trade to take place, Mrs. Tran was shaky, but sure of her decision.

You were in the same room Dean found moments earlier. Plutus arrived, ready to take Mrs. Tran soul. “Whenever you're ready, dear.” He said. She took two steps forward and holds out a hand, but you saw something on her wrist, just where the tattoo should be. “Wait!” You took her arm and pushed up her sleeve. Her demon-proofing tattoo has been burned off.

Her eyes turned red and Crowley’s voice emanated from her throat. “Hello, boys.” Crowley throw the three of you against the walls. “No. You can't. My warding spells.” Plutus babbled. “Your girl Friday showed me a few loopholes.” Crowley answered. “And all it cost me was an island in the South Pacific. I love a bargain.” Beau suddenly stabbed Plutus from behind, killing him, giving Crowley time to grab the tablet..

“Get out her!” Kevin screamed. “If I had a nickel for every time someone screamed that at me...” Crowley said.

Sam tackled her down and stand up later. You were again in front of Kevin. Dean took his knife out and throw you your sword. “Getting in touch with your feminine side, huh, Crowley?” He said. Crowley laugh. “Come and get it.” He challenged him. “One out of two ain't bad.” Crowley said and ran away.

“Sam, watch the kid!” Dean yelled before going after Crowley. You followed him, swinging your sword in one hand. You hear shots back in the room, so you stopped right in your tracks, and the first thing that went through your mind was Kevin and you were ready to go back when you saw him running. “Kevin!” You exclaimed. “My mom!” He said. “My mom! I have to help my mom!” He screamed back while he continued running.

Dean had reached Crowley and now he was keeping Mrs. Tran against a wall, holding his knife up to her neck. Kevin and you arrived, and you stopped when you saw Dean and her. “Mom!” he screamed.

Mrs. Tran kicked Dean and opened her mouth, so Crowley escaped of her body. Kevin ran towards her mother and you stayed in your place. Crowley reappeared back in his other body and took the tablet. “I know we're not mates, Kevin, but one word of advice…” Crowley looked at you for a second. “And Y/N this goes for you too. Run. Run far and run fast. 'Cause the Winchesters – well, they have a habit of using people up and watching them die bloody. Toodles.” He waved and left.

Those words made you shiver… That was how you felt; used. After everything you’ve done for them and yet you didn’t deserve a single fucking call. After cleaning their mess, after risking your own life to take down Dick, after everything, you yet meant nothing to them. And a bloody dead was the only thing you and Kevin would get in return.

“You tried to kill her.” Kevin whispered. “Kid, in this life…” Dean started, but Kevin didn’t let him finish. “Shut up! I don't want to hear any more of your crappy speeches. I just want to talk to my mom alone.”

The brothers and you left the room, leaving Kevin and his mother alone. Once out you glared Dean and passed a hand over your hair. “Dean, were you really going to, uh...” Sam said.

“What? Slit soccer mom's throat? Yeah, I was. I wish I had.” He answered. “Fuck you, Dean.” You barked, getting his attention. “It was Crowley, Y/N. No matter what meat suit he's in, I should have knifed him. I mean, yeah, it would have sucked, and I would have hated myself, but what's one more nightmare, right?” You slapped him, he observed you in awe, barely processing you hit. “He had just get her mom back and then you wanna killed her? You have no idea what that kid has gone through!”

“Well you have no idea what I´ve been through either!” You were ready to answer back, but Sam stopped you. “Wait… It seem a little quiet in there to you?”

You went back to the room and when Sam opened the door you realized Kevin and his mother were gone. “Kevin?” You called him. “Kevin!” You called again. “You've got to be kidding me!” Dean found a letter placed on a chair. “What's it say?” Sam asked.

“Uh, that they bolted, that we shouldn't come looking, and since we lost the tablet, Kevin figures we don't need him.” Dean’s eyes were on the letter. “Yeah, but Crowley still does. What's that kid thinking?!” Sam exclaimed. “He thinks people I don't need anymore – they end up dead.”

Now you weren’t sure to agree with Sam when he told Dean that wasn’t true. But you were sure of one thing, you were abandoned again, and this time maybe even felt worse. You looked at Dean and you just think how everything was his fault… You thought how much you wanted to hate him, well, you did in that moment, but your heart was aching, because you know that deep down you felt something for him and hell you wanted to erase that feeling.