#And the body is only 15. How much longer can we even keep going with this.

[evilminji]

Okay, you know how bird don't ACTUALLY look the way we think they do?

They are far more colorful? But only to the eyes of other birds?

And it has to do with how light reflects off them and how their eyes are shaped etc etc.?

Well..... humans can see the most shades of green, right? But! We sure as shit can't see UltaViolet and InfraRed? Or shades BEYOND those. Ectoplasmic colors. Magical ones. Third eye, need to see with your SOUL type ones.

Danny? Could very well still have lil baby "kitten's eyes who haven't open yet" syndrome.

He thinks the Zone is Green and his hair is white.

But it's not.

His hair is Starlight colored. Frost. His suit is specifically "the void between stars" colored. Which looks... different? Then black? No, no, guys. How can you guys not see it? It looks REALLY different! How did he not NOTICE before?! They're not ever CLOSE to the same shade! It's like calling salmon and hot pink the same. You know... if you were to compare an actual fish and some irradiated, violently glowing version of "hot pink".

......guys?

His gloves are.... guys, these ares stars. Pressed so close together there's no gap. His body is the night sky, all rearranged. He's wearing SPACE, guys.

*continues to stare at his gloves for the next five hours*

Now... why is this relevant? Because! Danny slowly, as all humans do, adjusts! It's like finally having glasses after years of blurry vision. He... forgets, what it was like, not NOT See Zone Colors. Not completely, mind you, but enough he has to be reminded.

And the Zone? A Realm of the Dead. Specifically, the great catch-all and highway of the Dead. They get EVERYBODY. Misfits and vagabonds. Those who don't quite fit. Funky lil dudes. And of course, assholes, but everybody has those! See, Zone colors?

Are DIFFERENT.

They're all of um!

It's like looking at the technicolor, stobe light, multi galaxies in one, Sun. Tingly(tm)!!! You get used to it. What helps? Is that as garish as the Zone is? The painting and grand tapestry of it all? Keeps changing. Like weather. If it's too much for you, you can stay inside your Lair until the current Color changes. Until the designs shift. Vibe changes.

There are even glasses for that! "Temperate" areas for people to set up, that get headaches or are just... kinda killjoys. Too each their own. Though the stormy areas? Those guys are freaks. Watch out for those guys. They're the kind who stare directly are stars until their eyes burn out.

Where was I? Oh yeah! Danny!

No longer a wee baby, smol baby, twig-o!

Sad. We miss it.

But he did get used to Seeing The Colors. Got a handle on his powers. And! Finally worked with his parents on how to safely turn the portal OFF. There was much booing. Cries of "kill joy" and "booo! You suck!". But? Like? Dude DID have the right to protect his home. Go to college. What can you do?

Problem with THAT is? Baby grew into his "built like a brick shit house of constantly running off to literally tackle the Supernatural excellence" Fenton genetics. He Tall. Muscles! And he PUMPING out "somethings fucked up with me" Vibes!

Add in his DEEPLY Sus off hand comments. Weird ability to tell when someone has or is about to die. Basic immunity to the cold. Fuckin EYE GLOW?

Ha ha... *Horror movie screams from his college dorm mates*

Clearly a demon!

He gets kicked out. Well... not kicked out. He's a model student and broken no rules. They'd never survive the lawsuit. But... he's? STRONGLY INCOURAGED to finish his education elsewhere. Repeatedly. By like... 15 colleges.

Sam is not just livid, she's actively foaming at the mouth.

Breathe, Sam! Remember what your doctor said! Your mortal body can't handle that kinda Vengance spiral! Think of your blood pressure! Breathe!!! (Were not for the laws of this land... and the weak, fleshy constraints of her mortal form!)

Thankfully? Tucker's been interning, remotely of course, with Wayne Industries. He asked his manager where he could find some of those scholarship forms. (Since Gotham University is just a touch out of Danny's price range.) Manager wanted to know why. And oh! Oh holy shit. Apparently? Danny is the hot new office gossip.

People in the main office are OUTRAGED. Danny's "too spooky"?! Too FUCKIN SPOOKY!? Are you KIDDING THEM? Even juicier, a Meta kid from some wacky ghost hunters turned scientists. From a line of Supernatural hunters. Wants to be a aeronautics engineer.

Ooooooh how SPOOKY! Better watch out! He'll design an ENGINE at yooooou!

Fuckin casuals. Non-Gothamites are WEAK. "Too scary" their collective asses. Yeah, maybe the kid SHOULD come too Gotham. He can be the weird kid. Mildly unsettling or something. His powers won't be SHIT in Gotham. Just remind him to buy a gas mask.

So! Danny gets his Scholarship! Merrily packs his bags for darker, Gothic hellscape hills. Unaware... that Constantine has been following reports of a "demon" that he's? 80% sure is a Banshee but MIGHT be a winter spirt with a shtick? For the past 13 colleges. He's getting closer. And this sucker is a strong one.

Not "this is going to cause me serious, life imperilling danger" strong. But more? "Man, that cat is HUUUUUGE". Could he still get mauled a lil? Yeah. Scratched to all hell and back? Probably! But DIE? Unlikely.

He just needs to know why the FUCK this spirit his hanging around colleges.

Which is made harder... by the fact that what HE sees? And what OTHER people see? When they look at this guy? Separate things. Yeah, he'd LOVE to give you guys a description! IF HE HAD ONE.

@the-witchhunter @hdgnj @hdgnj @spidori @babbling-babull @nerdpoe @lolottes

[cafterdark]

Posted 16:35, 12/5 to r/puppyplay

How do I get used to nerve integrating tail

So my gf a few weeks ago admitted she was into puppy play. Now I'm a pretty vanilla guy so I was a bit wary, but open to try it. We've gotten a collar and leash that I wear when we play, but I just got my Christmas bonus, so we splurged on a nerve integrating tail. It feels pretty weird to have it on, but my gf is ecstatic. It certainly has brightened up our bedroom life lately. I'm still not entirely into puppy play, especially when she calls me a "good boy" but I do admit it's quite fun. My only question is how do I get used to it.

Posted 22:51, 12/17 to r/puppyplay

Is it dangerous to wear NIT for more than two weeks?

Hello again,

Thanks for all the advice y'all gave me in the last post, I'm really used to the tail now. I love the wave it wags when I'm excited and so does my gf. It has come to the point I feel like I'm missing something when I take it off. I know the general advice is not to keep it on for more than two weeks but I kind of want to keep it on. I work from home so none of my coworkers know I'm wearing it. And when I do need to go out, it's really easy to hide it under some clothes. So is there any risk to having it on for more than two weeks?

Posted 08:11, 1/7 to r/puppyplay

Skin grown over NIT port

So I just woke up and looked at my NIT and saw that skin has grown over the port. Whenever I try to take the tail off it hurts like hell. What can I do?

Posted 09:12, 1/7 to r/medicaladvice

Any way to remove an overgrown nerve integrated prosthetic?

I wore a NIP longer than the recommended time and skin has grown over it, is there any way to take it off?

Posted 18:15 1/7 to r/puppyplay

Gf is okay with permanent NIT

It's been an eventful morning for me and my gf. I told her the news that I'm stuck with a NIT from now on. I expected my gf to leave me, but she's been nothing but supportive. I'm usually not one for being the little spoon, but she cradled me and comforted me. I love her so much. Thank y'all for your kind words and support. I know it's fairly common for people to have eccentric prosthetics nowadays, but as much as I love this tail, it's going to take a while to get used to it. I'll keep y'all updated.

Posted 13:43, 2/9 to r/puppyplay

Side effects of permanent NIT?

Hey again,

So I've gotten used to the NIT being permanent, but I've been having some things happen to me that I'm wondering if they're caused by it.

To start, when I was done with a workout, my gf noticed I was panting with my tongue out. I hadn't even realized I was doing that.

Another one is that my body and facial hair have stopped growing. Not that I miss them, but it's kind of weird. Weirder still, my hair has been growing rapidly. I was starting to bald before, but now it's down to my shoulders. It's gotten so long and full that my coworkers joked that it looked more like a woman's hair.

Are these side effects of the tail or am I just losing my mind?

Posted 12:21, 3/15 to r/puppyplay

More side effects of tail?

Hi

So I know y'all said that permanent tails don't have any mental or physical side effects, but I'm not so sure.

I'm not sure when it started, but I'm starting to make more dog like noises. When I'm excited I bark up a storm, whimper when sad, growl when angry. I'm not doing any of those on purpose, it's like the rise from my throat. When I see a squirrel, I feel the urge to chase after it now. My gf has joked that she needs to collar and leash me when we go out, but I'm a bit nervous.

Speaking of my gf, I used to tower over her. Yet today, she was my height, maybe even a bit taller.

Other strange things, my nipples is a bit swollen and puffy. It really hurts to touch them.

What's happening to me?

Posted 10:23, 3/30 to r/puppyplay

Tits?

So I've been in denial for a while, but my tail is making me grow tits. I realized this when I was putting on a tight shirt and my boobs were really clearly visible. My gf nearly died when she saw them. After a bit of laughing/leering, she measured and found they're A cups. She gave me one of her bras to wear, which feels a bit itchy.

Posted 17:12, 3/31 to r/puppyplay

My tail is feminizing me

Hello again,

After looking at old photos of myself compared to me now. I'm certain my tail is feminizing me. I'm shorter than my gf, my skin is soft, I basically have no body hair, my hair is super long, I have tits, and um, my equipment is tiny now. I look better at least, but idk what to do.

Posted 15:35, 4/10 to r/asktransgender

Why does my GF calling me a "good girl" make me so excited.

So I'm a cis? guy. Due to a faulty prosthetic I'm wearing, it has slowly been feminizing me. Now, I'm having some mixed feelings about it and my gf asked if I liked being a guy. I really hadn't cared about my gender before so I said yeah. She then asked me how I felt about the phrase "good boy." When I told her it made me feel weird and awkward, she called me a good girl. I suddenly got so happy and my prosthetic went wild. My inside felt so warm and complete that I couldn't even try to hide how happy I was. What does this mean? Am I trans?

Posted 11:13, 4/19 to r/asktransgender

New Name!

After a week of introspection with my gf, I've realized I'm a trans woman. And to thank her for all the help she's done making me realize that, I let her pick my name.

So hi, I'm Bella

Posted 22:12, 4/21 to r/puppyplay

Gf acting weird

So me and my gf do a lot of puppy play and usually it stays in the bedroom. But lately it's been weird.

To start, she insists on cooking for me. It's such good food, but what's weird is that whenever I eat it, she clicks something. Weirder still, its the same click that I hear whenever I cum.

Also, she's gotten a lot more dominant lately. She's constantly telling me how cute and hot I am. How much she just wants to mark me up. She insists I wear my collar 24/7 so "Everyone knows who owns me." She even asks me to call her owner sometimes.

I get so flustered and my tail goes wild any time she acts like this but it's still weird. She never used to be this direct and dominant. I'm not against it but it's kind of weird.

Posted 16:37, 4/30 to r/asktransgender

Why do clothes feel weird?

So me and my gf have been clothes shopping for a new wardrobe lately and we've run into a brick wall. Every bit of clothes I've worn lately has felt tight and itchy. Even my old boy clothes.

Why is this?

Posted 18:15, 5/7 to r/puppyplay

Why can't I disobey my owner?

Um, so my owner has made some really big changes to my life lately. She's told me I'm not allowed to wear clothes anymore, sleep on the bed, eat on the table. She's gotten me a dog bed to sleep on and some labeled dog bowls for me to eat out of. I have to wear my collar 24/7 and whenever we go out I need to be leashed. I can't even walk on two legs anymore.

Yet I don't want to disobey her. It's not like she's abusive or anything, the opposite really. But my brain can't even think of not listening to her. Especially when I hear a click and every bit of my brain is filled with devotion to her.

What am I doing wrong, why can't I disobey her?

Posted 11:17, 6/5 to r/puppyplay

Y'all were right

Y'all were right. It's so much better being a good puppy for my owner. I don't have to worry about anything. She's so kind and sweet and wonderful and caring and ugh my tail is wagging so fast just talking about her. I'm so glad I've accepted my place. Thank you all so much for helping me realize this.

Posted 14:25, 12/5 to r/puppyplay

Gifts for a really good Puppygirl?

Hello

I'm the owner of a wonderful little puppygirl. She's had a big year of changes and I want to get her something wonderful to cap it off. Any suggestions?

[roanniom]

Um for Eddie positions

On your back with your legs over his shoulders

Or laying on your stomach. Like you were laying on your side in bed and he comes in to cuddle up and can’t help himself

Or he bends you over the back of the couch

Or him holding you up against the wall because he can’t wait to get to the bedroom

Or with you sitting on the bathroom sink trying to get ready in the morning

Or on the edge of the pool during a midnight swim

Sorry I’m newly single and reminiscing

Omg never apologize for sending me beautiful, hot thots like this!!! I love them.

I think the idea of Eddie holding you up against the wall because he can’t wait to get to the bedroom is WILD.

Impatient

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

“Eddie,” you huff against his lips when he finally migrates his sucking, biting kisses down your jaw to your neck, giving you a second to breathe. He’s tugging at your layers and beginning to discard them haphazardly right there in the living room.

“Princess,” he replies into your skin, mimicking your tone and breathlessness. You chuckle and in spite of your next words you thread your fingers deep in his hair.

“Eddie, let’s go to bed.”

He’s shaking his head before you finish your sentence.

“Can’t wait. Need you now.”

“Impatient much?”

You start to laugh again but all the humor is replaced with blind lust when you’re shoved against the wall. His hard body is against yours, confined erection pressing and rutting into the apex of your legs.

“Feel that? That’s what you do to me. You wanna be sexy as hell and tell me I gotta wait to go all the way to the bedroom to fuck you. Nah. No dice.”

“The time it took you to say that we could have—.” You don’t get to finish your teasing contradiction because his mouth is on yours and his hand is pushing up your skirt. He finds you wet, exactly as he assumed he would, and your moan spills from your mouth into his.

When he begins fingering you in earnest and you can no longer keep up with kissing him back, Eddie pulls a few centimeters away to watch the way you crumble against the wall.

“Wanna go to the bedroom now, princess?” he asks, smug because he knows the answer. You do your best to stare daggers at him but it’s in vain because your brows are furrowed and your eyes are rolling back with pleasure.

“Just fucking fuck me already, Munson.”

“Somebody’s impatient,” Eddie chuckles. But he yanks down his jeans and pumps himself a few quick times before lining himself up with your dripping entrance.

You both moan, all humor and teasing gone the second he sheaths himself inside of you.

It’s hard and fast as Eddie works himself up to a good rhythm. It’s been a while since he’s had you quick and dirty against a wall, but there’s something so fucking hot about the fact that you’re only a few steps away from the front door.

“Holy fuck, can’t believe you would have deprived me of this pussy,” Eddie whines after a few minutes of sweaty, panting, skin-slapping silence.

You’d roll your eyes if you weren’t already threatening to roll back into your head.

“The room’s like 15 feet away, how’s that deprivation? This is an apartment, not a mansion!”

“I can’t hear you over how good you feel, shit.”

Already so turned on from being fingered, you’re on the edge very quickly, which is good for Eddie because he’s beside himself.

Your head lols to the side against the wall while Eddie bangs you into it. You watch him take his pleasure and squeal delightedly when he reaches down to play with your clit, prioritizing your pleasure as well.

“Fuck I’m close.”

“Don’t hold back, baby,” Eddie grunts.

“You’re just saying that because you’re waiting for me to cum so you can,” you say cheekily.

“You bet your ass I am. Almost busted my load just rubbing up against you.”

“Romantic,” you huff, but he sees how your eyes glaze over and feels your pussy tighten even more.

“Prince Charming for you, only, princess.” He grins and kisses your neck. That’s what does it, if you’re being honest with yourself. You cum hard, seizing around him and feeling him cum only seconds later (he’d been hanging by a thread).

~*~

-

—

—-

[enwoso]

CRUSHED! || alessia russo

bit of a longer one for you all<3 this will probably turn into a mini series (about 3-4 parts)

navigation

manchester united women v arsenal women.

an important fixture for you and the rest of the manchester united squad as this would ensure the teams lead in the table, in the race for champions league football next season. something you and the rest of the girls longed to play especially having just missed out by a margin the season before.

you were determined to ensure that you and the team got into europe — having dreamt of playing the high level of football since you were little.

something even more exciting for you is that you were in, incredible form at the moment scoring goals left right and centre or as some of the news reporters would phrase it as saying you couldn't stop scoring!

confidence was flowing through every inch of your body and rightly so, you had six goals in the last four games one of them goals even helping man united progress further into the fa cup.

everything was going to way you wanted, you were playing excellent football at the moment who can was hopefully going to secure your place in the england team for the upcoming world cup in the summer. your relationship with alessia was only growing stronger as you were about to hit your two year anniversary.

you could happily say that you were in a good place, quite literally physically but also mentally.

"how long do we have till kick off?" you asked turning to your girlfriend who was finishing re-lacing her bright orange boots. "um about 15 minutes why?" less said looking up to the walling seeing the clock was about to reach the hour 7.

"just wondering" you shrugged, loosening yourself up and scooting closer to the blonde leaning your head on her shoulder. as she sat back up her arm stretching togo across your shoulder as the familiar smell of vanilla taking over your senses.

the two of you sat in each others company, not talking just watching as the rest of the team talked among themselves. just as marching came in to give his usual team talk and to help lift any spirits even more before it was time to walk out.

"-just go out and bring home them 3 points!" marc finished as the changing room filled with a cheer as everyone took off their warmup jumpers as it was time to walk.

"i love you" you smiled pecking alessia on the lips, a tradition they did before every match, "i love you too" alessia responded as the two of you did your little hand shake you'd both came up with one night while being in a hotel room before the blonde pulled you for one last quick but tight hug.

alessia wondered off up towards the front of the line taking her place in between millie and nikita as you strayed towards the back. taking your place as always just behind tooney.

"you ready baller?" ella smiled turning around to your direction, you rolling your eyes playfully at the new nickname ella had began to call you over the past few weeks.

"always." you whispered, patting ella on the back to signal to her to begin moving in order to keep up with the rest of the team who were now walking through the tunnel and out onto the pitch.

the teams walked out, hand in hand with the mascots as the teams lined up, arsenal on the right and man united on the left. once all the photos were done, shaking hands with the arsenal players before going off into the half that they would be starting.

"let's play our best girls!" katie said as you all done the usually team huddle, putting your hands in the middle and cheering before everyone went to their starting positions.

you were thankfully playing your usual and much preferred position of the left wing, with alessia in the middle leading the line and parris on the right wing.

the referee blowing the whistle and the game was under way.

3' BLOCK! chances at both ends for both teams. walti lets fly from a distance but zelem put in a strong block. at the other end, y/n is nearly played through by parris but zinsberger rushes off her line to clear into touch.

6' WIDE! russo with her first shot of the game! y/n scampers down the wing and while walti dispossesses the cutback to zelem, the loose ball is able to fall to the lionesses striker. russo let's fly first but it's wayward — she had more time to shoot then she thought.

the game so far is going the way you wanted it too, manchester united in the opening minutes were playing better, were playing better football. you'd even had a few chances to get to the box unfortunately non of them able to get the shot in due to arsenals tight defence playing their part.

manchester united back on the attack again, the ball building from the back passed to zelem from blundell, arsenals midfield covering zelem as she sells you a short pass up to the wing.

loosing the ball momentarily to maanum as you overstretch a move you must have done a million times before in hopes of getting the ball across to alessia as she was in a big space with nobody covering her and had the opportunity to open the score line.

however the overstretch left you feeling a pop, following a sharp pain in your knee. the ball had already been hit forwards, not seeing if it reached your girlfriend you fell to the ground knee in clutch.

face planting into the grass as you waved your hand in the air, tears bubbling in your eyes at the sudden pain you were feeling. .

"y/n!" you hear ella as she comes rushing over, the midfielder being more worried for her teammate then whatever was happening higher up the pitch. the manchurian ushering the medics on the sidelines to come on and help you — the game however was still in play. "are you okay?"

12' problems for manchester united, y/n is down and looks to be in real pain. the red devils can't afford for their star girl to be injured at the moment. the lioness looks close to tears — this could be a serious problem ahead of the world cup.

the whistle finally blown as the referee stops the game waving over for the medics to come over, alessia is quick to rush over. panic setting in for the blonde seeing her girl down for so long without moving comfortably.

"what happened love?" alessia asked quickly as the medics began to assess you over trying to find the extent of the injury.

you shrugged, "dunno but it's my knee" dragging your hands over your face fighting back the tears which were bubbling in your eyes out of shear pain but also annoyance that either way it was an injury and that meant a setback.

"can i continue?" you asked knowing exactly what the answer was going to be, but their could have been a small chance you could have however with the pain you were in it was definitely not a good idea for you to even if she was allowed.

"i think it's gonna be best for you to be subbed and then the medical team can properly check you out" one of the medics told you as you nodded slowly, the feeling of a hand moving your loose hairs out of your face, turning to see who it was only to be met with a sad smile from your girlfriend.

"it's okay, your gonna be fine" alessia whispers as she took a place next to you holding your hand to try and comfort you and try and help take some of the pain away.

14' the stretcher is out, it's not looking good for the forward. this could be serious. the replay shows there is no contact to y/n on the right knee but she did go down holding it.

"no! no, i'll walk off!" you protested at the sight of the bright orange stretcher being brought towards you, alessia giving you a stern look as if to say 'do what the medics are telling you'

but both of you knowing that they would only ever have the players best interest at heart but alessia also knew you like the back of hand and how stubborn you were and to know if you say you are doing something then that's would be exactly what was happening.

"are you sure your able to?" the medic asked, you nodding as the team along with alessia all helped to get you to your feet.

alessia's arms wrapped around the small of your back as you clung onto the side of the blonde limping off the pitch, a medic at your other side as the stadium erupted into cheer and applause for you.

you were handed over to another member of the medical team, leaving the blonde's arms but as you began to slowly move towards the tunnel you notice your girlfriend beginning to follow you. "less, what are you doing? you need to carry on playing!" you choked out.

"that can wait.." the blonde whispered grabbing your hand in hers.

"no? you need to play less!" you let go of alessia's hand placing your hand on her cheek pulling her closer and pecking her lips quickly, "now go and score for me, my love!" you whispered as your lips lingered near the blondes, a small smile appearing on her face, alessia nodded and with a little bit of hesitation headed back out towards the pitch.

the medic team taking you slowly deeper into the stadium, as you limped towards the medical room. you finding yourself lying on the bed as they began their assessment to determine the extent of your injury.

25 minutes felt like hours to you as you watched the senior medic write down on a clip board as they compared the injured knee to your normal knee. the injured knee a lot more swelled and puffy than your normal knee.

the soft sound of the crowd above you was able to be heard as they cheered and chanted for the teams playing. wishing you were up there instead of lying hopelessly on a bed.

the only helpful thing you could do was answer the medics questions like "on a scale of one to ten, one being the worst, what is the pain right now?"

"okay, so i've ran all the assessments i'm able to do here with the equipment i have and i'm sorry to tell you but you have indeed ruptured your anterior cruciate ligament or as you may know it as your ACL" the medic told you

your chest suddenly felt heavy as you let out a breathe that you didn't even know that you were holding in. your eyes closing trying not to let the tears fall as your head hit the back of the bed you were currently lying on.

taking another deep breathe as the news settled, your mind racing that this isn't the minor injury she initially expected it to be.

"how- how long am i out for then?" you asked, those seven words not being used frequently in your footballing career.

the longest you had ever been out from football was two weeks for a concussion after going to header the ball into the back of the net but while doing so also crashing into another player at the same time and that was when you were 16.

"um your probably looking at 9-12 months, i'm afraid" the medic placed the clipboard down as you nodded slowly — this was going to be the most challenging thing you ever going to face.

"oh" was the only words you were able to find.

"as for right now the only thing i can do is bandage it just to keep the knee straight and i would also suggest that you don't put any unnecessary pressure on it, ice it to help with swelling and then when your able to see a doctor tomorrow they'll go through the next stages with you" they explained as you whispered a small 'okay'

the realisation of the injury was really beginning to set in as you watched the medic bandage the knee. your dreams of being at a world cup were slowly slipping away with each wrap of the bandage.

the medic began to run through your notes and everything they had looked at but if you were being honest it all just went in one ear and out the other.

the medic gave you some crutches, encouraging you to use them to avoid putting any weight on it before helping you to your feet and up back towards the field to enjoy the match — well what was left of it on the sidelines.

as the medic helped you back towards the pitch you found it was full time, stopping just outside the man united changing room, the team all being on their way back to the locker room to get showered.

you were met with lots of sorry looks and sympathy from both the man united girls but also the arsenal girls, lots of them being your teammates at england, as you stood back pressed to wall letting them all go past considering they were all going to be a lot faster than you were.

seeing afar alessia rushing, her eyes set on what was in front of her as she walked beside ella as she chatted the blondes ear off. the blonde about to walk straight past you as you grabbed the side of her shirt pulling alessia to the side as best as she could without loosing her balance.

"wh- oh! hi love, how bad?" alessia asked her facial features softened at the sight of her girlfriend, a guess to the answer of her question as she stared down at the crutches that were currently holding you up.

"bad."

the strikers face formed a pout as she pulled you in for a side hug, a few sniffles beginning to come from you. alessia hushing you softly, as she brushed your hair back out of your face.

"shh, it's going to be okay baby" alessia cooed as she placed gentle kisses onto your forehead. "we'll get through this together, okay" alessia pulled you closer to her rubbing her arm up and down your back.

"what was the score?" you asked as you lifted your head to rest on the blondes chest, chocking back on the tears which were flowing down your flushed cheeks.

a small smile appearing on alessia's face as she shook her head in disbelief that you'd gone off injured and what you were most worried about was what the full time score was?

"it's 2 - 0 to us" alessia whispered as a big sigh came from you as you nodded for the blonde to carry on wanting to know who had scored, "oh um keets and me scored"

"that's my girl!" you mumbled placing a small kiss to her cheek before letting go of the blonde as you steadied yourself.

“you coming?” alessia asked as she pointed towards the changing room, you have a small smile as you began to turn on the crutches, a little wobbly as you were still getting used to hoping on one leg.

"love, i'll get on my back and i’ll give you a piggy back" alessia began as she was back right by your side, you stopping dead still looking towards the blonde.

“baby, i love and appreciate you but you have two left feet i really don’t fancy having a broken arm!” you laughed a little the blonde gasping a little at your bluntness but never the less taking one of your crutches in your hand.

“i won’t drop you, i promise!” she pleaded, as you gave into her, the blonde giving you a piggy back into the changing room. as you praying to the lord above that she wouldn’t drop you.

getting into the changing room most girls were buzzing off the win, some were in the showers and others were just looking forward to go to sleep. alessia sitting you down on the bench next to both yours and her little cubby, pecking you on the lips as she hurried to get into the showers not wanting to keep you waiting for ages.

you watched on as people walked past you as you sat feeling pretty much helpless. watching on with envy as everyone else moved around the room freely while you couldn’t even move from the bench properly without being in a large amount of pain.

you couldn’t get up and join in with the silly antics of ella and mary as they danced around the room just like every win the team had, you couldn’t tie your shoe laces which had come undone and you couldn’t even bend down to pick up your bag from under the bench.

you felt useless.

“love? tesoro?” alessia said softly but there was no reply from you as you stared off into the distance, tears building up in your eyes for not the first time today.

“gorgeous? are you okay?” alessia repeated herself this time waving a hand across your face, finally getting your attention as you blinked head shaking to pull you out of your trance.

you noticed that the changing room was empty now, it was just you and less left. you looked to your girlfriend humming, you had no idea what she had said.

“are you okay?” she asked once again as you hummed nodding your head, a clear indication to the blonde that you were far from. alessia sighed moving your crutches which were slumped next to you onto the floor.

“what’s bothering that pretty mind of yours” she asked as you slumped your head against her, your cheeks feeling wet as the tears fell.

“just watchin’ everyone. i feel so useless. i can’t even pick my bag up for fuck sake!” you choked out in a whisper, maybe this was the anger that you had kept in the past hour. the reality of your injury really hitting you.

“oh baby” alessia whispered moving your face to face hers as she cupped your face, wiping your tears away with her thumb. “your the strongest person i know, you’ll get through this and you’ll come back from it better than ever” alessia reassured you, wiping another tear that rolled down your cheek before it hit your chin.

“what if i can’t?” you whispered your bottom lip wobbling. you were scared for the next few months, how different it was going to be.

“you will! and i’ll be here for you every step of the way, okay?” alessia gave you a small smile as you nodded a little.

“i love you”

“i love you too” she kissed your forehead as you rested your head on her chest listening to her heartbeat.

it was going to be a long nine months.

liked by alessiarusso and 942,135 others

manutdwomen we can now confirm that y/n l/n has suffered a ruptured anterior cruciate ligament against arsenal on wednesday night.

y/n was substituted in the first half of the game at leigh sports village and underwent further assessment on thursday to determine the extent of the injury.

y/n will now begin a period of rehabilitation and is set for an extended spell on the sidelines. she will undergo surgery in due course. everyone at manchester united will be supporting y/n closely throughout the long journey ahead and we would ask that her privacy is respected at this time.

comments —

arsenalwfc we are gutted for you y/n — wishing you all the best with your recovery❤️

3h        210 likes     reply

ellatoone the baller will be back before we know it!

2h        245 likes     reply

lionesses we are with you, y/n! ❤️❤️

2h        136 likes     reply

alessiarusso she’ll be back stronger ❤️

1h        195 likes     reply

leahwilliamson wishing all the best with her recovery❤️

1h       174 likes     reply

[reverie-starlight]

{need you now- hawks}

y’all remember need you now by lady antebellum?

gn!reader, no physical descriptions. angst-ish? kinda fluffy. I’ll be doing a part two of this from keigo’s perspective eventually.

you can’t sleep.

this has been happening more and more lately, and you wonder how much more you can take without starting to hallucinate.

he’s back home from a mission now, which you only found out because of one of his fan accounts. well- “home”. he’s been staying in the luxurious house the commission kept aside for him. nothing homely about it according to keigo, but it’s not like he has much of a choice.

not after you got caught up in the argument and told him you wanted nothing to do with him.

you had shrugged it off when you saw the post, not knowing if it’s been too long to try and reconcile, but now you’re going down memory lane, holding back tears as you flip through the photo album he made you.

you fight yourself to stay off your phone, but you get to a photo of him kissing your cheek and you can’t stop yourself any longer. the loneliness you’ve been feeling all this time finally wins out.

the clock reads 1:15 AM.

is he even awake right now?

it’s been a month… and he’s always so busy, do you even cross his mind anymore? he always seems to be on yours.

you call anyway, against your better judgement and your heart lurches into your throat when he actually answers.

after two rings, at that.

“hello?” his voice both soothes you and chills you to your bones at the same time.

“hi keigo,” you whisper.

“hi, ba-“ you think he’s about to call you baby out of habit and you wish he hadn’t stopped himself. “did you need something?”

he sounds… somber. solemn. sad.

not at all like the keigo you love.

guilt pools in your stomach at the mere idea of you hurting him this badly.

“I…” you bite your lip. “I miss you.”

you hear his breath hitch. “really?”

you wish you could see his expression and figure out what he’s feeling. he’s always been so good at keeping his voice free of emotion.

granted, he always tried to turn that skill off around you, so you gather that he must be feeling guarded.

you keep going. “I’m so sorry for that night, keigo. I said things that I didn’t mean and I regret it so much… I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

he’s quiet on the line for a few beats and then and exhaled “I’m sorry too, baby. we both said some pretty awful things, didn’t we?”

you laugh, but it sounds a bit more like a sob to you. “yeah,” your voice breaks. “keigo, I… I need you here with me. can you please come over so we can talk about this?”

he clears his throat, likely working overtime to continue to keep the growing emotion out of his voice, but it sounds thick when it breaks anyway. “y-eah. yeah, I can come over. I need you too. I’ll be there soon, okay? unlock the window for me, sweetheart.”

he hangs up and you quickly move to do as he asked.

five minutes later, he’s on your balcony, sliding the glass and slipping into your room.

he immediately wraps you in his arms and your body, once cold and empty, fills with a warmth only he could provide.

he’s whispering words into your scalp. “I love you, y’know that? I love you too much to ever want to break up.”

you nod against his chest, letting the tears flow freely. “I love you too. I’m sorry,” these words are repeated between the two of you- they shoot out of your mouth and hit his chest, sinking into his skin and bubbling up his throat only for them to hit your scalp and absorb into your brain, then fall out of your mouth again like a well oiled machine working overtime.

but there’s nothing habitual about these phrases- as is the case for any time you say them, they’re promises.

promises that will never be broken again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ve had this idea for a while and I finally wrote it :3

AND I’m gonna work on this from his POV, which I’m almost more excited abt than this one 👀

@emmyrosee sum angst (ish)

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 19

Hey guys! See? I can be consistent some of the time and I promise this one will be out once a week until it's done.

In this one we get the fallout from the last chapter, Vickie takes charge, and Steve and Eddie talk about the cracks appearing in their bands.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

~

And of course the incident went viral, because there had been someone filming a bachelor party and caught the exchange in the background.

Fans rallied around the band especially when the two dudes could be heard saying the band was making shit up.

And despite Vickie keeping a deft hand on the situation, charges had to be filed. She called the band into the bus, having flown out the night before.

“Right,” she said, clasping her hands and leaning her elbows on her knees. “This was a scary incident and I was able to steer it in the right direction. But if you had told me right after it happened I could have gotten ahead of it.”

The members of the band just looked at her in shock.

“It’s just a problem we’ve always had,” Spence said. “It happens so often it’s just a part of being The Fallen, you know?”

Vickie cocked her head to the side. “You do understand that you’ve come normalize to assault, right?”

Steve let out a shuddering breath. “We knew it was bad. Of course we did. But we thought it came with the price of fame.”

“Famous people have to put up with a lot of bullshit,” she said shaking her head, “but assault is not one of them. They’re people too, they aren’t objects to be used and consumed by their audience and then spat out.”

They all shifted in their seats uncomfortably and avoided looking her in the eye.

“I think we all learned from this experience,” Robin said. “We learned the new hoods work, we learned to tell Vickie when something goes down, no matter how small we think it is or if we think it was handled. Because that’s why I didn’t say anything. Hopper had the guy delete it from his phone so I thought that was the end of the matter, only for it to appear online anyway.”

“And I learned,” Vickie finished, “that as unique as you guys are, you still experience the common problems most famous people have.”

They talked a little bit longer and everyone came away from the meeting feeling better about the incident going viral.

It did have the unfortunate side effect of Eddie being aggressively protective whenever the two bands would go out. Which would be fine, if it was just ‘Abbadon’ he was fiercely protective of, Steve being his boyfriend and all.

But nope.

Because Eddie didn’t want questions about why he was only protecting Abbadon, he went full mama bear. Barking at some chick that got too close to Azrael’s hood when she was flirting with him. Slapping away some guy’s hand that looked like it was going for Astraeus’s mask. He even got between a guy with a phone and Asmodeus. Who looked like the one guy in the band you wouldn’t want to fuck with.

That was when Steve decided to talk to Eddie about. Because they both had security and no one had gotten past Hopper since that first time.

“Hey, baby,” Steve said softly, slipping into the hotel room.

Eddie jumped and almost fell off the bed. “Stevie! Are you supposed to be here?” He scrambled to get back on the bed.

Steve joined him on the bed and slid as close to him as possible. “If anyone asks, I’ll just say you thought you were having a medical emergency but it was a false alarm.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I think that would cause a bigger stir than me sleeping with an EMT, sweetheart.”

Steve laughed and crawled up onto his lap to kiss him senseless. Eddie let Steve slowly lower him on the pillows as they made out.

“How much time have you got before you’re missed?” Eddie breathed, grinding their bodies together. “I really need you.”

Steve knew they would be taking a huge fucking risk, but he needed his boyfriend, too. He needed be filled up and worshiped. “A while,” he panted into Eddie’s mouth. “I want you to fuck me, please?”

Eddie groaned because that sounded like heaven to him. “Anything for you.”

Steve’s shirt was off and Eddie’s hands instantly came up to his belt to start unbuckling it. Steve sighed at the release of pressure against his zipper as Eddie pulled it down.

“Look at you, honey,” he panted, “you aching for me?”

Steve nodded, pressing his lips together to stop the moan from escaping his lips. Then he stood up and scrambled to get out of his clothes and Eddie took the opportunity to do the same. Soon they were lying together with Steve on top, kissing.

The sex was slow and tender and everything Steve needed in that moment and he felt Eddie did too. Once everything had been cleaned up and they were lying next to each other did Steve speak up.

“I think we have a couple of things to talk about,” Steve murmured into Eddie’s neck. “About Brian and Gareth, and you biting that fan’s head off tonight.”

Eddie sighed and held Steve closer. “I’m sorry about tonight. It’s just after that incident with the assholes and Astraeus, I guess my protective instincts that drove me to pick up lost sheep in high school went into overdrive.”

Steve nuzzled Eddie’s neck. “Which I do get, but let me tell you of the four of us, in character Asmodeus really is the last one you need to defend. He uses his mask as a way to be braver then he is normally and will absolutely knock a guy out and then freak out about it later.”

Eddie chuckled. “I already have a good idea of who’s who, but thank you for cinching for me that Simon is Asmodeus.”

Steve huffed out a small laugh. “Yeah, that one was a gimme, I’ll admit. But who do you think are the other two. You have a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right.”

He thought for a moment, really trying to put all the clues together. “Spence is Azrael and Shane is Astraeus. For the sheer fact that they make the least amount of sense and thus throw people off.”

“Right in one,” Steve confirmed with a kiss. “And yes, that’s why. Our personas are deliberately not like who we are in real life. I play more to my feminine side more as Abbadon because I’m your stereotypical boy next door.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “You’re way more than that, sweetheart. But I get what you mean.”

Steve sat up and pulled his knees up to drape his arms around them. “Did you want to talk about what happened with Brian and Gareth about the tour. I kept meaning to bring it up because there would be odd little moments where the tension would suddenly ramp up between you guys and it would be days before it went away. It seems like it’s only gotten worse since we’ve gone on tour.”

Eddie sat up too, and moved away from Steve, crossing his arms sullenly. Steve let him. He knew this was a prickly subject and if Eddie didn’t want to talk he wasn’t going to make him. So he waited him out.

Sure enough a few minutes later, Eddie let out a put upon sigh. “Yeah, okay. It’s gotten so bad Chrissy is talking to the label about what would happen if we broke up on this tour.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve breathed. “I didn’t realize it was that bad.”

Eddie chewed on his bottom lip and nodded.

“I remember Brian saying he thought not letting Gareth on this tour was wrong,” Steve said, “but that everyone including Gareth disagreed.”

“He made a promise,” Eddie said softly, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face between his knees. “No drinking, in therapy, and having actual fucking progress on both the alcohol dependence and the abandonment issues and he’d get to tour with you guys.”

Steve raised a eyebrow. Eddie had said things like this before. That even though Gareth wasn’t a fan of Steve he had posters of Abbadon in his house and especially his studio. As he hadn’t seen it, he had to take Eddie’s word for it.

“And then he went on that bender when no one could find him...” he murmured, remembering that night.

“Yeah,” Eddie let out a shuddering breath, “thank god both Dustin and Gareth are the same flavor of nerd.”

Steve cracked a small smile.

“So he shouldn’t have been able to come,” he reasoned.

“Yeah.”

Eddie gripped his hair as he continued. “It’s in our contract. Everything has to be agreed on by all four members otherwise it doesn’t happen. We’ve lost out on some major opportunities because one of us held out. Did you know that the latest Batman movie wanted to use ‘Jaded Hearts’ for their soundtrack?”

‘Jaded Hearts’ was about a bad break up Jeff had. He thought things were going well, even bought a ring talked to her dad about proposing. And then suddenly she turned around and said things weren’t working out between them and just moved out of state. No rhyme or reason to it, just left.

“I didn’t,” Steve admitted.

“Yeah...” Eddie’s voice cracked on the bitterness of it. “Gareth didn’t want to because he thought it would cheapen its meanihng. While Jeff, the guy that wrote the damn thing was freaking out that they wanted his song in a movie about his favorite super hero.” He grimaced. “Jeff’s still salty about that one.”

Steve’s eyebrows raised. Yeah, he would be too.

“So what was Brian’s reasoning for waiting until Gareth was out of rehab?”

Eddie let go of his hair and let his feet slide off the edge of the couch they were on. “Addiction is a mental illness and we wouldn’t punish any of us for needing physical therapy if we broke a limb or whatever.”

Steve let his eyelids flutter shut. He felt that. He did. Both Simon and he had parents that were alcoholics. Hell, his own mother did cocaine. Addiction was a disease, but not one that should be catered to like that. He opened his eyes and saw that Eddie was curling in on himself slowly but surely.

He grabbed Eddie by the wrist and pulled him into his arms.

“What’s going on with Gareth scares me,” Eddie murmured as he soaked up his boyfriend’s comfort.

Steve let out a deep breath and said gingerly, “I think Shane is a sex addict.”

Because while Shane hadn’t been late since their little intervention, he just got better at hiding his hookups. He figured he was the only one who knew because Hopper and Robin hadn’t said anything about it.

Eddie looked up at Steve, his big brown eyes wide in confusion. “I thought he was getting better at showing up on time.”

“Oh he shows up on time,” Steve muttered darkly. “But sometimes he shows up smelling of cheap cologne and expensive wine, like he hasn’t been to bed yet. And like with you and Gareth, what’s going on with Shane terrifies me, too.”

Eddie snuggled in closer. “Fame is a cruel mistress and she is giving our friends the beating of their lives.”

“I think after this both bands should take some time off,” Steve murmured, “and just be people for a minute or three. Three records in three years is insane for even the most seasoned bands and I think Corroded Coffin could really benefit not being in each others’ pockets for a bit.”

Eddie sighed and really thought about it. He nodded. Even if the other members said no, Eddie was willing to just walk away from it all. Go solo maybe. Because after twelve years of nonstop running he was starting to fall apart.

The only thing that was keeping him sane right now was the fact Steve was by his side and he understood what he was going through.

“Yeah, baby,” he said, “let’s do that. Maybe you and me will travel the world a bit, really see it, instead of a blur through the windows of a tour bus.”

Fuck did that sound perfect. No band, no obligations, just him and Eddie and an adventure of a lifetime.

“Sure thing, rockstar,” he whispered. “Let’s do that. Plan a trip of Europe or whatever and just see the sights for a change. And not just the sites that would be good publicity either. The wacky museums, the weird curio shops, five hundred year old bars.”

Eddie sat up and looked him in the eye. “Wait, what? You’d really be interested in doing that? I mean, I’d love that. But none the guys like that shit. Not like I do and you’d want to do that kind of stuff with me?”

“Of course I would,” Steve said and then kissed him deeply. “I love that kind of shit too. And yeah maybe I didn’t always, but Robin has been a very good influence on me.”

Eddie laughed. It was so free and happy, Steve wanted to bottle it up and keep it for shit days.

“Maybe we should bring her with us,” he said with a grin. “That way people will be less suspicious about you and me going on a trip and reading too much into it.”

Steve let out a sigh, his mood a little dampened by the fact this couldn’t just be a romantic getaway. But then again, he really didn’t want to leave Robin home for that long, either. He kissed Eddie.

“Yeah, Eds,” he said sweetly. “Let’s do that. She’ll love it.”

~

Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006

4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten

5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95

7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars

8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec

9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology

10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina @garden-of-gay

[thesleepyfable]

~ SWTD: Still Here AU Part 14: ~

Operation Spy Part 3:

The finale of Operation Spy. Yes, this is a short arc. It's a bridge into the next, much longer chapters.

Part 15:

As the minutes ticked by, things seemed to calm down. The dock crew were quick to realise the infected were harmless. Seeing the Beria crew talk to them as if nothing happened helped wash away their nerves. It was just a lot of them to take in as a third party. Still, Brodie and Finlay lingered by the only phone you could use to contact the outside before reaching Bernard's office because they weren't going to risk having police or military find them. Archie soon made his appearance. Loyal to the core, he waited here the entire time. The scream from earlier woke him from a nap he was taking somewhere else in the building.

Someone found the courage to ask Addair about the album he carried under his arm, which he returned in kind by showing off his wife and sons, going into great detail for each picture. From what they were doing to location. Whether it was just for attention or because he somehow turned over a new leaf in the span of 24 hours was anyone's guess. The same went for Gibbo. They wanted to know about Eleanor after seeing the chain, which he obliged, but when it got too much, with everyone sharing their own stories of their wives, eventually talking over each other, he literally retreated his head into the mass. Douglas and Dobbie were quick to vouch for him, and it was taken well. 'I wish I could do that,' one commented. Yes, Gibbo can somehow breathe. No, he didn't know how he was doing that. He just subconsciously knew.

Trots, for once, didn't go on about a Union and instead told his side of the story with Archie listening because he was the last to learn about anything surrounding yesterday's events. Muir, Caz, and a few others from Beria stood to the side.

'Are you sure your ma and pa will be okay with this?' Caz asked.

'They should be,' Muir answered. 'I cannae think of anywhere else we can go. I want to go home anyway and it's got the most room for us.'

'No harm in trying then.'

As for Rennick, it was clear there was a history between himself and Bernard. Roper could feel it as he awkwardly sat beside his manager in the makeshift office they made, which was just the trio sitting further away between the maze of containers.

'Is this necessary, Davey? Aren't we friends?' His voice perfectly matched the description of a weasel-bodied, rat-faced, snake.

'That ship sailed a long time ago. So long in fact, it's done three laps of the world by now.'

Roper took out the documents O'Connor gav to him and handed them to Bernard, who was trying his best to control his shakey hands. Not because of fear, but anger.

'This should help you close the investigation. We made sure to collect everything.' No answer. Bernard took the time to scan over everything. All the medical and financial records, the payslips, food intakes, orders that never arrived, and a list of crew. A red mark against those who were gone. He wanted to find one mistake. Something. Anything to make sure he won. Not because he wanted the crew to still work for him, even if the infected would be good for heavy lifting. It was out of pride. Bernard Cunningham can never be wrong.

'And, just so you know, we're all quitting.'

'Yeah, I fuckin' got that.' He caught a glimpse of Rennick smiling. Seems Bernard wasn't above keeping up appearances. 'Have you got something to say, David?'

'Not really. I'm just enjoying this.'

'Enjoying what? Watching you toss away your career? Everything I gave you? You've got some fuckin' nerve to be smiling right now. Just look at yourself.' The sickly sweet office attitude Bernard carried himself with had long gone. This was the real him. 'You're disgusting.'

Roper's eyes went wide as saucers. He glanced between the men, having never heard anyone talk to Rennick like that. He was at a loss for words. Rennick remained strong. The words cut deep, but he wasn't going to let Bernard know he had any effect on him. The bastard wasn't going to win.

'So, you know we all need Severance pay?' A pause. Bernard couldn't believe Rennick was telling him how to do his job. 'And we're also going to need to borrow a couple of the trucks.'

'Why?!' Bernard's voice was exasperated.

'We're not walking all the way to-'

'I don't care where you go, you prick!' Bernard's voice bounced off the metal. 'You've already taken my rig. You lot can go fuck yourselves if you really think I'm gonna let you take more from me!' The chairman was red in the face and looked like a fish gasping for air.

'My rig,' Rennick corrected with an eerily calm manner. 'Don't worry about it, we'll return them. I can speak for everyone here, that we don't want anything from you.'

'Except for the dosh,' Roper interjected. Rennick ignored him.

'Don't worry about it, big man. The sooner we're out of your hair, the better.'

Bernard huffed, rubbed the temple of his nose. Rennick has clearly said something right because in less than a few seconds, he snapped with a 'fine.'

'But, I better not see any of you again.'

Maybe he was petty. Maybe he wanted to play into how Bernard saw him, but Rennick, without warning, shook his hand. If he thought he was disgusting, then he'll want to leave a metaphorical mark on Bernard. How? By wrapping a tendril completely up and around his arm and holding it for a few seconds too long. He used that fake yet convincing smile to the untrained eye. Bernard saw right through it but was more distracted by the obvious. He tried to pull away, but with no luck. 'It's been a pleasure doing business with you.'

The tendril retreated back into Rennick's body. He turned away, and Roper followed. The pair had never been on good terms, but Roper would be lying if he said he didn't feel bad. Bernard's words were cruel, but it certainly explained why Rennick managed the Beria the way he did for years. With a 'friend' like that, who needs enemies? Apparently, Rennick, because he seemed to make that his mission. Still...

'Are you okay?'

'Should I not be?'

'Well, what he said was terrible and-'

'For fuck sake, Roper, I'm fine.' He didn't sound fine. 'I don't-' Rennick caught a quick glimpse of his reflection and looked away. His jaw tensed and he looked to the floor. He just wanted to leave. 'I don't need one of your therapy sessions. Give it to Gibbo.' Roper let him pass. Rennick knew he heard the pained tone, but he won't let that get the best of him. He pushed the feelings to the back of his mind and continued forward. 'Attention crew of The Beria!' Everyone turned. 'Grab your stuff, we're getting out of here.'

Thankfully, it was smooth sailing for everyone. Bernard gave them two trucks, but on the conditions that a member of the dock crew drove them. He didn't care if they were driving to Glasgow or to Cornwall, just as long as they were gone.

Sadly, this is where most of the crew would be parting ways. Many could and have made it home from here. This included Roper, Sunil, Dobbie, McLurg, Scooby, Douglas, Archie, and...

'Be sure to stay out of trouble.' Finlay. This was her goodbye. At least for now. She lived in Glasgow, as did most of the crew. Easy to meet up and travel together for a visit.

'Nae promises,' Caz laughed. 'But, are you sure you don't want to come with us?'

'Nah. I've got me boy to get back to. He came home last week, and I wanna see him.' She chuckled. 'I have a story to tell him, eh?'

The pair shared a hug. Finlay had always been there for Caz, and not just because she was a fan of him during the boxing years, but because she cared. It might be because she was the only woman on board, but she really was like a mother to most. A strict mother, but one none the less.

'Safe journey.' Caz slipped a piece of paper that had a home number. He made sure everyone got one. 'Call us whenever.'

'Aye. Now, go on ya blighter before you make an old biddy like me cry.'

Muir and Rennick took one truck. Caz sat beside the driver, followed by Roy, then O'Connor. Innes stayed in the back. Gibbo, Addair, and Trots took the other, with Trots being able to sit in one of the passenger seats. Brodie and Raffs accompanied them.

Why were Brodie, Raffs, and O'Connor staying? They needed to plan their trips home. All three lived off the mainland, and they weren't going to plan another long treck home now. Especially O'Connor. Bad enough, he was on the east side of Scotland. He needed a few days of rest.

'Okay, that's everyone!' Raffs called from the passenger window, to which Roy returned a thumbs up. The trucks roared to life and slowly made their ways out of the docks. The crew members who stayed behind waved until they were out of sight. Raffs took advantage of being the closest to the door and rolled his window down to rest his head and elbows out. Seeing the sea vanish from view for the endless countryside with patched fields of snow was like whiplash. A well-deserved whiplash. The smell of the sea air was replaced with an Earthy aroma.

The infected and Innes couldn't see the outside, but just knowing they were on a road was something they never knew how much they needed until now. A sense of calm overcame them. Finally, they were back in Scotland. Even if they'll never be human again, it was good to be back on the mainland. Rennick felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders. Never again will he have to deal with oil rigs that made him lose sleep and cause so much stress, he refused to eat. Even if Roy saved him leftovers.

A small window divided them and the seating. Rennick tapped on it for Caz to slide open.

'So, where are we going?'

'Braemar.'

'Where?'

'Home,' Muir answered. 'We're going home.'

[i-heart-yellowstone]

15 - Vow to the Sky

Part 16

Raised Fair Share of Hell

Tag list @bvbwestfall @hcwthewestwaswcn @child-of-of-the-sunshine @elenavampire21 @keep-the-wolves-close @kmc1989 @tallrock35

Keeping my body pressed up against the stone brick wall I kept my eyes closed thinking about what my sister had done to me and the father of my child. We had slept in this cell the whole night and it was the middle of the day and we still haven’t been let out.

Kayce was previously sitting on the ground across the room from me but now he was currently pacing back and forth where his boots would screech across the floor every now and then. Covering my ears with my hands I couldn’t stand the squeaking anymore so I snapped my voice up at him. “Can you please stop squeaking your dang boots across the floor. I can’t take it anymore!”

“Oh I'm sorry , am I annoying you?” He halted in his tracks glaring at me for only a minute then going back to pacing the room.

Glaring at the cowboy before me I didn’t remove my hands from over my ears. “Yes you are.”

“Well I’m sorry but I can’t stand being locked up and not having a way out. I - I feel like- urgh never mind you wouldn’t want to know why I don’t like being in here.”

Slowly raising myself to my feet I got up sending him a snarcky reply. “Is it because you can’t stand the fact that I don’t love you anymore huh?”

“It only has a little bit to do with you.” He responded to me.

Crossing my arms over my chest I tilted my head to the side. “Okay so what’s running through your head?”

“I can’t be locked up in a room with the woman that I love. But she wants nothing to do with me!” Kayce turned on his feet raising his voice at me getting up in front of me where our chests were pressing against one another.

Lifting my head I pushed my nose up against his own, feeling my hot breath mixing with the others. “I have wanted you since the night you asked me to be your girlfriend. I have wanted you even after I got pregnant at 16. I have wanted you during all the years of raising our daughter. I’ve never stopped wanting to be with you, Kayce.”

“Then what the hell were you doing sleeping with one of my fathers ranch hands?” He throws his arms out away from his sides.

Covering my face with my hands I screamed into my palms. “How much longer are you going to keep bringing that up? It happened, Kayce. I had sex with someone else. And in case you keep forgetting you slept with Monica while you were dating me.”

“That was a mistake. I ended up with you. I chose you, Alissa. I’ll always choose you until the day I die.” He declares taking two steps forward getting closer to me. “I don’t know how to fix this, Alissa. I don’t know how to not be with you, not talk with you, not be around you or my daughter. You’re my wife. You’re my best friend.”

Raising my voice I shoved him harshly away from me where his black Cowboy hat fell off of his head. “I don’t believe you. You used to be honest with me but I don’t believe a word you say nowadays.”

“I swear on Lee and my mothers grave!” Kayce suddenly shouted causing me to stumble backwards slightly. Raising a hand to my lips I completely froze in front of him. The last time he said those words was when we got married. He has always kept his wedding vows.

The main door of the Lambert house got opened by my father who was standing on the porch all dressed up in a suit and tie. He didn't have a cowboy hat on like he normally does, but this was a special one time occasion. I stroll out the door wearing a white dress that went down to my knees that had light brown cowgirl boots. “You look absolutely beautiful, Alissa Rae.” He beams a smile seeing that i had my hair loose except for some of it pinned up in a crown.

“Thank you, daddy.” I sent him a smile back.

He extended his arm to me, searching my face for any signs of doubt. “Are you ready to do this?”

“Yes, daddy.” I nodded, looping my arm through his before we began walking down the steps and made our way over to the side gate that butted up with the Dutton's fence.

By the time we reached the fence line I saw my mom and sister standing beside Beth. John, Lee and Jamie were standing by their brother Kayce. Yet Kayce was standing on the side of his fence dressed in a black shirt and tie, his nicest blue jeans and dirty brown boots. “You better take good care of my daughter and grandchild, Dutton. You know I'll come after you if you don't.” My father warned the young boy as he placed my hands in Kayce’s.

“You’re not too snug in that dress are you?” My best friend asked me, eyeing me up and down. I had told him that we would have to do a flash wedding since you would start to see that I was pregnant and my clothes would start to not fit right anymore till I have the baby.

Shaking my head, I squeezed his hands in mine. “I'm fine, Kayce. I just want to marry you already.”

“I want to call you my wife here and now.” He grinned looking over to his oldest brother Lee.

Lee removed his cowboy hat holding it in his hands beginning to perform the ceremony. “You two can begin reading your vows now.”

Tucking some of my hair behind my ears doing my best to not start bawling out in tears. “Kayce John Dutton, we've been in each other's life since we were five years old. I can say for certain that your siblings have always felt like my siblings and I can only assume that yours feel the same way about me and my sister Alana. When we started dating I couldn't imagine being with anybody else but you and I am overjoyed to be calling you my husband from this day forward. You are my other half and I hope I am the same to you.”

“Alissa Rae, I used to get so embarrassed when Beth would tease me saying I was in love with you and I am grateful she saw something in you before I did cause now I'm calling you my wife…uhh sorry.” Kayce moved one hand up to rub his eyes making me almost start crying. “You know me better than I probably know myself and you can say the same thing about me when it comes to you. I swear that I'll love you even more than I do right now. You are my whole world now and forever.”

Kayce slipped my wedding ring on my left ring and I slipped his black band on his finger. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You're officially a Dutton, Alissa.” Lee declared with a cheeky grin plastered on his face. He scooped me up in his arms, suddenly making me squeal.

“Lee!” Lee sat me down directly in front of my husband but now I was standing on the side of the fence that belonged to the Dutton's.

“Now you get to keep his hat forever.” Beth came up behind me placing Kayce's dusty black cowboy hat on my head making me giggle.

Kayce wrapped his arms around my waist tugging me against his chest kissing me long and slow. “It's been yours along with my heart since we were five years old, Lissa Rae.”

“That’s Lissa Rae Dutton to you.” I drew back from the kiss, correcting his words. He chuckled before I cupped the sides of his face in my hands bringing him in for another kiss.

Blinking tears away from my vision I barely got a word out before Kayce crossed the room and closed the space between us. He crashed his lips down hungrily onto mine, where I gripped his shoulders kissing him back ever so slowly. “Kayce, you’re still my best friend-“

He raised his hands up to cradle my face in his palms. He tilted my chin upward and bent his knees some so I wasn’t standing on my tippy toes to kiss him. Flinging my arms around his neck I drew him in for another kiss and he hoisted me up by my thighs wrapping them around his waist never breaking the kiss. “Alissa-“

“Kayc - I’m sorry.” I muttered in between kisses while he pushed my back against the wall and laced one of his hands into my hair.

He broke the kiss needing to catch his breath as he rested his forehead against mine. “Don’t apologize. I shouldn’t - I shouldn’t have spied on you and Ryan. It - that was my mistake. I’m - I’m sorry, Lissa Rae.”

“Kayce, I was hurt. I tried to move on from you because I thought you’d moved on from me. I thought you - I thought you’d chosen Monica.” I sniffed, pushing back some tears.

Kayce moved his thumb up gently, wiping them away. “Hey, hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I love you no matter what happens.”

We quickly turned our heads in the direction of the outside door opening at the same time as a loud unlocking alarm sounded off. Footsteps entered the room where we saw an officer entering the room coming to our cell door. “You two finally made bail.”

“She paid the money.” I sighed in relief.

The officer nodded, unlocking the cell door. “Yes. She did. I’d suggest not doing something like this again. Tell your sister we can’t lock you two up for a relationship issue.”

“We’ll keep that in mind, deputy. Come on, let’s get home before the kids start to worry about their parents.” Kauce draped his arm over my shoulder where we walked out together holding hands, heading out to his truck once we were given our stuff back.

[dilfmobius]

coming apart at the seams (lokius)

this is just something i wrote as a way to cope with the all the bad shit i've been feeling for the past few weeks (past several months really, but whose counting?), both physically and mentally. it's going to live here for now, not ao3, because it's really just 1,300 words of me projecting onto Loki. it's messy and maybe doesn't make a lot of sense, but i haven't had the spoons to write (or do anything really) and i need to release this. my body just feels like it's betraying me at every turn, and my mental health is all over the place (negatively).

anywaaaaay here's a snippet, the rest is under the cut:

“Maybe we should see someone,” Mobius says. “Like who? A midgardian doctor?” Loki balks at the thought. “And tell them what, exactly? That I had all of time woven through my entire being and it ate me alive? That everything hurts and my body doesn’t feel like my own, and I no longer feel a connection to my seiðr – oh, and by the way, I’m also a Norse God – got anything for me now?”

Loki sits hunched over the table, a mug of hot tea warming his hands. He takes deep breaths, focusing on the lavender and lemon balm filling his senses, pushing past the throbbing at the back of his skull.

It’s quiet and still, early morning light barely beginning to filter in through the window over the sink.

Loki hears faint footsteps approaching and lifts the mug to his mouth, blowing faintly before he takes a drink. It burns his throat going down and he squeezes his eyes shut, welcoming the heat as it travels to his belly.

It’s only when he feels Mobius’ hands on his shoulders that he drops them from under his ears.

He tilts his head back, resting against Mobius’ chest, and opens his eyes.

“Hey.” Mobius’ voice carries the smile in his eyes, soft and sweet. 

The corners of Loki’s mouth twitch in a pathetic attempt at smiling back, before his face drops back down into something a little less straining.

“You been awake long?” Mobius asks, rubbing his hands over Loki’s shoulders and upper arms.

“Mm,” is all Loki offers.

Mobius doesn't press. Instead he threads his fingers through Loki’s hair, gently massaging, hoping to pour every bit of comfort he can through his finger tips. Between the tea and Mobius’ skilled hands, Loki can feel his body relaxing, melting at the warmth.

“I’m going in today,” Mobius says softly. “Just some training B-15 wants me to be a part of. I  won’t be gone long.” 

Loki blinks his eyes open and stares up at Mobius, sensing the man’s hesitance to even mention work. After everything that happened, almost losing Loki to time, seeing how keeping the timelines together nearly destroyed the god, the last thing Mobius wanted was for Loki to go back to the TVA.

“It’s fine,” Loki says. “I’ll be fine.” He tries for a genuine smile, something to reassure Mobius that he won’t break apart while he’s gone.

Mobius bends down and presses a soft kiss to Loki’s forehead. They stay still for a little while longer, letting the songbirds outside their window fill in the silence.

When Mobius had brought up the idea of moving back down to the timeline, together, Loki was a mess. He insisted that he could still contribute to the important work they were doing. He could still be of use, and he wanted to be a part of the massive changes the TVA was undergoing. No one ever found out why time had spat him out, kicked him off his throne and back to the TVA, and it filled Loki with so much dread and guilt. Once again, that feeling of worthlessness – that he was never good enough – reared its ugly head. And the physical pain that had come along with it reminded Loki that he was only ever deserving of a life full of misery. 

Loki fought Mobius tooth and nail over leaving, accusing the man of coddling him and treating him like a child. Oh, Loki had been cruel and lashed out, in fear and pain. 

But Mobius, persistent and stubborn, would not let Loki wither away.

He had been a witness to Loki putting on a brave face, moving through the constant fatigue and pain, until he just couldn't anymore. Mobius had been there through sleepless nights, night terrors and flare-ups, and everytime someone mentioned how tired Loki looked only for Loki to brush it off and move on. 

A particularly bad flare-up had Mobius’ mind made up. Loki hadn’t been able to leave his bed for a few days, basic tasks damn near impossible without someone’s help. Mobius was always that someone, he was always there no matter what. As much as Loki was comforted by having him there, taking care of him, he couldn’t help the constant guilt and shame filling him up, wrapping itself around his bones and muscles along with the pain.

Mobius had declared that he was leaving the TVA and Loki was coming with him, whether he liked it or not. Loki didn’t have the energy to argue, and Mobius wasn’t particularly proud of how he brought it up, but after shedding many tears and finally drilling it into Loki’s head that there was no greater purpose for Mobius than to take care of the God of Mischief, the choice had been made.

Mobius thought being somewhere, anywhere, other than the TVA would help Loki heal. He had hoped that connecting back to his seiðr, his healing magic, would somehow fix everything. 

Oh, how wrong he’d been.

It’s been months and Loki was still plagued with nightmares, migraines, and aches that coursed through his body daily. 

They hadn’t talked about it, but Loki’s magic hadn’t made an appearance, and he had become an anxious mess, retreating into himself. Mobius would walk in on Loki desperately trying to conjure and cast, ultimately tiring himself out – emotionally and physically. It was hard enough to watch – Mobius couldn’t imagine how hard it was for Loki.

—

“Maybe we should see someone,” Mobius says.

“Like who? A midgardian doctor?” Loki balks at the thought. “And tell them what, exactly? That I had all of time woven through my entire being and it ate me alive? That everything hurts and my body doesn’t feel like my own, and I no longer feel a connection to my seiðr – oh, and by the way, I’m also a Norse God – got anything for me now?” 

“We could go to New Asgard –”

“Absolutely not – I doubt there would be anyone who could help me anyway.”

“Then we go to Asgard, before Ragnarok –”

“No, Mobius,” Loki says, shutting down any and all Asgard talk. He’s not ready for any of that. 

Loki pinches the bridge of his nose and sinks further into the pillows surrounding him on their bed, shame and guilt bubbling in his gut. He reminds himself that Mobius is only trying to help, to be supportive in a situation neither of them know how to navigate.

Mobius pushes away from his spot, leaning against the doorway to their bedroom, so he can join Loki. He replaces a few of the pillows with himself, nudging Loki over a bit (not that Loki was in any mood to protest), carefully slipping his arm around Loki’s thin waist. It doesn’t take much for Mobius to hoist Loki onto his lap, settling him in between his own legs, back to chest. 

Loki goes willingly, ignoring that voice in his head that tells him he wants to be left alone – he doesn't. He wants Mobius near him, he wants Mobius’ arms around him, to be held together by the love and grace of this one man. He might fall apart otherwise.

Loki allows himself this simple pleasure, to be enveloped by Mobius, swathed in a warmth he never thought he would be able to feel. He wishes this alone could heal him. Loki feels Mobius rest his chin on his shoulder, so Loki turns his head to nuzzle into the scruff on Mobius’ face. 

“You need to shave,” Loki says, plainly.

Mobius huffs out a small laugh, and returns the favor by rubbing his rough cheek against the much softer skin of Loki’s. Mobius tightens his grip around Loki’s waist, and Loki brings up a hand to run his fingers through Mobius’ hair.

Loki will let himself have this.

“What about the TVA?” Mobius asks, breaking the spell in the room. Loki groans. 

“And what, in all the nine realms, can the TVA do for me?” Loki asks.

“We can visit the medical wing, maybe they can do some scans – it seems like everyday they're figuring out something new, ways to treat all kinds of things – I don’t know…” Mobius trails off, only a little bit frustrated.

None of this is Loki’s fault, or anyone’s fault, they’re just playing the hand they’ve been dealt. And both Loki and Mobius are nothing if not adaptable.

Loki shifts and twists himself around to get a better look at Mobius, searching his face for… something. 

An answer or solution. 

Mobius always had an answer for everything.

Then again, so did Loki.

But all Loki finds when he looks into those clear blue eyes, past the fear and worry, is love.

His eyes begin to sting and he squeezes them shut.

“Okay.” Loki says.

“Okay.” Mobius replies.

[illgiveyoueveryfirst]

hwelloooo would u be comfortable writing first kiss with gunwook? he keeps doing nootnoot and i can’t help but starting at his lips 😚

First Kiss

pairing: gunwook x gender neutral reader

summary: your best friend gunwook helps you study for an exam but silly banter soon leads to you having your first kiss with him

genre: fluff

word count: 1.7k

warnings: you're smaller than him, some parts could be read as a tiny bit suggestive

a/n: ayyy, first published story!! this got so much longer than i planned to make it but oh well, hope you like it :)

masterlist

"Come on, y/n, you're gonna fail if you don't focus", Gunwook sighs as you playfully mess with his hair.

Living in the same neighborhood, you two had been good friends for several years and got even closer when you both entered the same high school. You had an important maths exam coming up at the end of the week but really struggled with the material. Since Gunwook is top of your class, you begged him to help you study.

"Only if you promise to actually sit down and study. I know you get distracted quickly."

"Yay! I promise, thank you!", you squealed, hugging your best friend tight out of excitement.

Yet here you were, kneeling on your chair, using your hands to put his hair in a little ponytail, the textbook long forgotten.

"But we've been studying for the past 5 hours! Don't you think that's long enough? Hehe, you look like a unicorn when I do this", you giggled.

Gunwook shakes his head to make you let go of his hair.

"It's only been half an hour, y/n, and most of that time you spent messing around. Do you want me to help you or not?"

You sink back in your chair, opening your mouth to make some playful remark. You decide against it when your eyes land on Gunwook's serious expression and you realise he's genuinely worried about you failing. Taking a deep breath, you pull the textbook closer to you again and pick up your pen.

"Alright, no more getting distracted. I'm gonna ace this test!"

Gunwook chuckles at your newfound motivation and leans in closer to read out the next maths problem. When his shoulder touches yours, you feel your heart skipping a beat.

Lately, you've noticed yourself thinking about him more than usually. Makes sense, since you're now seeing him every single day in class, you've told yourself. After all, you're just friends.

You've always just been friends.

But in moments like these, when he's so close that you can smell his perfume and feel the warmth radiating from his body, your mind starts to wander. What it would be like to be more than friends. To run your fingertips over his soft skin. To feel his hands around your waist. To rest your head on his chest. To press your lips on his.

Gunwook's voice reading from the textbook pulls you out of your thoughts.

"Okay, let's go over this again", he says, pointing his pen at the numbers in front of you.

Another 15 minutes pass while you're doing your best to focus on his words instead how softly his lips move as he's explaining how to solve the equation. He has a habit of pursing them whenever he talks, effectively making him look like a duck. You always thought it was the cutest thing.

"Ah, I think I got it now! Like this?"

Your face lights up when Gunwook excitedly nods yes at your right answer.

"Yeah, exactly! Looks like you won't fail after all", Gunwook chuckles, gently hitting your shoulder. "Now let's strengthen that knowledge with some more practice."

You groan in frustration at his words. His sense for responsibility is incredibly admirable and you're grateful he's helping you but you just wanna take a break.

"Come on, Wookie, it's been almost an hour and I think I actually understand how to do it now! If I look at any more numbers, I might actually go insane."

Unfortunately, he's invested in your success now and no amount of pouting and puppy eyes can convince him.

"If you stop now, you might forget it all again and all of this will have been for nothing. Let's just finish this page and then we can take a break."

He points his pen at the next problem and you come up with a plan. Taking the opportunity, you grab the pen from his hands. Without it, he can't write down the explanations and it will force him to let you take a break. What a genius move, you think to yourself.

"Hey! Give it back!" he laughs at you.

When he reaches out for the pen, you quickly get up from the chair and hold it as high as possible. The playful smirk on his face tells you he's accepted your little game. He slowly gets up from his chair and walks towards you, making you walk backwards. As he inches closer like a cat stalking a mouse, trying not to alert it, you suddenly hit the wall behind you.

"You know I could reach that, right? I'm taller than you."

You quickly realise he's right and hide the pen behind your back instead. He's now standing dangerously close to you, towering over you. He traps you against the wall with his bare arms on each side next to your face and a victorious smirk. Being reminded of how much taller he is than you has your heart racing again.

As much as you try to suppress those thoughts, you can't help but think of what a wonderful boyfriend he would be. He's smart, funny, charismatic, tall, gentle. He smells good, has warm hands and his soft hoodies just beg to be stolen. You quickly try to shake those thoughts, telling yourself he probably doesn't feel the same way. Your best friend came over to help you with studying and here you are fantasising about dating him. He'd probably be weirded out if he knew.

"Y/n, give me back my pen. Don't make me tickle you because I will if I have to", he says in a threatening but warm voice.

Knowing you're incredibly ticklish, your eyes open wide and you know you have to find a way out. You're not willing to give him back his pen just yet though so instead you resort to sneaking out under his arms and running away.

"Not if you can't catch me!" you yell from the other side of the room.

He smiles and chases after you. The room is soon filled with the sound of laughter and the occasional "too slow!".

After a while he catches up to you and tackles you on the sofa. To make sure you can't escape again, he pins your wrists down and entangles his legs with yours. You immediately notice the warmth radiating from his body and how soft the skin of his hands is against your wrists.

Your carefree smile slowly fades as you study his features above you in awe. How plump his checks are. His soft and slightly wet lips. The way his deep brown eyes are seemingly lit up by the golden sunset shining through the window.

At this point the way he makes you feel is impossible to ignore. The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy with him being so close and all you can think about is how badly you want him to lean down and kiss you.

Even it ruins your friendship.

Gunwook must've noticed the shift in your mood because his mischievous demeanor disappeared as well. Apart from both of your breathing, the room is so quiet you could've sworn he can hear your heart thumping.

You notice his eyes trailing down to your lips and for a second your mind lands on the idea that maybe, just maybe, he might feel the same way. Before you can convince yourself of the opposite, Gunwook leans down and presses his lips against yours.

It takes a moment for you to process what is happening but when you do, your entire body reacts. It feels like the world is suddenly spinning around you. Your heart is beating faster than ever before and your stomach feels like it's been turned upside down from excitement.

His lips are so warm and smooth, it feels like a dream. You take a deep breath in through your nose, taking in the smell of his perfume mixed with his natural scent. He smells manly but like vanilla at the same time. Even though he's so tall and strong, he's pressed against you in the most gentle way possible, like you're a fragile doll and he's trying his best not to break you.

After the first moment, which felt like an eternity, his lips part from yours, only to carefully press against them again. Your mouth moves on its own and matches his sweet kisses, both of you finding a comfortable rhythm.

Suddenly he leans back up, his eyes filled with worry.

"I'm sorry, I should've asked if it's okay first. I don't know what I was thinking, you just looked so pretty lying there and-"

"Gunwook, it's okay", you smile at him, still somewhat out of breath. "I wanted you to kiss me."

He lets out a relieved sigh and gently moves a strand of hair out of your face.

"Really? Because you have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this. I've had a crush on you for ages and had no idea how to tell you."

His words sound unreal to you. He had a crush on you all this time and you didn't even notice? You grin widely as the realisation that he likes you back kicks in.

"No way! I have a crush on you too but thought you didn't feel the same way! So we were both oblivious, huh?"

He smiles and leans down again to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"Well, at least we can be together now", he says but quickly concern spreads over his face. "I mean, if you want me to be your boyfriend, that is."

You laugh at how much of a gentleman he is. Hearing the word boyfriend from him feels like a dream come true.

"Of course I want that," you say, pulling him back down to you to and placing another kiss on his lips.

"Even if I tell you I'm still gonna make you finish that maths page?"

He grins at you and you both break out in laughter over his determination. But you couldn't imagine wanting anyone other than your boyfriend to help you study.

[humbledragon669]

S1E3 – Hard Times Write Up P6 - Friday (One day to the end of the World) from "the break up" scene

Quick note to slip in right at the beginning here: the setting in the Script Book for this rendezvous was back at St. James’s Park. I’ve no idea why it was changed, but I do really like how portentous and isolated the band stand feels. Perhaps that’s exactly why it was changed.

Right, I don’t think I can avoid this much longer. I really am not looking forward to going through this scene. I know I’m not alone in finding it a difficult watch. As a reminder, it’s my belief that Aziraphale and Crowley are secretly romantically involved at this point in the storyline and have been since Adam’s birth (11 years), so I do really feel like this scene is a break-up. Furthermore, I think it’s likely that Aziraphale came to the meeting with the intention of breaking up with Crowley because he’s started to believe that they cannot stop Armageddon. I’ll pick up on a few things as I go through the scene itself that would feed into that theory, but for now, all we need to know is that I don’t like watching this pair split up. F*** knows how I’m going to get through the Final 15 write up when I eventually get there.

The conversation starts in a similar vein to the one that we just saw Aziraphale having with the archangels in Heaven – with him playing aloof and hoping that the other party doesn’t notice he’s hiding something. I don’t know why he doesn’t tell Crowley that he’s been Upstairs to discuss the matter with his superiors at this point, or that he knows where Adam lives. What I do know is that he’s nervous – not only is he feigning ignorance, he’s wringing his hands, which he does whenever he’s anxious.

Aziraphale actually gives his own game away in his response to Crowley’s question about his investigative prowess – Adam’s shoe size is the only piece of information on the list that he doesn’t have. But Crowley isn’t listening (shock horror) and completely misses the subtext. I also suspect it’s likely he won’t contemplate the possibility that the angel is keeping something from him – it’s simply not on his radar.

Here's when things start to get really rough as far as I’m concerned. There’s something that we have to bear in mind, particularly if you’re prepared to accept my head canon in terms of where their relationship is at. The couple are staring Armageddon in the face. Not death, or obliteration from existence. The annihilation of Earth. Which means that, once it’s over, they will both be sent back to whence they respectively came from. No more sneaky little rendezvous meetings in parks. No more dining at The Ritz. No more nightingales. They aren’t just facing the destruction of Earth, they’re facing the possibility of an eternity of existence apart from each other.

Even if you’re not onboard with my theory of them being in a relationship at this point in the storyline, that idea is… well… heartbreaking to be perfectly honest. If you don’t think so, I’ve no idea why you’re still reading my waffling at this point. And if that idea hadn’t already occurred to you when you were watching this scene before, I’m sorry if I just destroyed you a little bit (#sorrynotsorry).

So, with that devastating blow delivered, let’s take a look at Aziraphale’s language here, of both verbal and body types.

He looks and sounds fairly resigned to their fate here. And pretty defeated. If I was to try and subtitle this single line of script with what I think is actually going through his head, it would read something along the lines of “I think we should say our goodbyes”. And I think Crowley, despite him missing the much more obvious subtext earlier, picks up on it.

My subtitling of this clip would go something along the lines of “no, fuck that shit”. He’s not ready to give up, not after 6000 years of slow burn. It’s no surprise that Aziraphale is uncomfortable with this outburst, after all, he still believes that he’s a company man. Angel. Whatever, he can’t seem to get his head around the fact that he’s really not onboard with Heaven’s plans. What I find interesting is his delivery of his next line.

His voice cracks. At the very end of the line. The way the conversation is playing out, it could be argued that he’s trying to make amends for Crowley’s criticism of the Great Plan but I think it’s something else. This isn’t a chastisement of Crowley. It’s a request of God. As in, “please forgive him, he knows not what he does/did”. As in “if you forgive him, he can come back to Heaven”. Unfortunately Crowley sees right through that one though, laying waste to the angel’s hopeful but poorly thought out plea in a painfully realistic summation of his existence. Why he feels it’s necessary to really hammer home the point to Aziraphale is a bit of a mystery to me – it’s really not like anything he says will make the angel stop loving him, as his face tells us when Crowley has finished spitefully pointing out how truly unforgivable he is.

I find the next exchange particularly interesting.

Aziraphale’s line almost feels unfinished. And if I could take a guess as to how he meant to finish it, I would say “you could be one again” is top of my guesses, which I think is backed up by his devastated expression after Crowley once again wastes no time destroying his dreams.

It’s not hard to see why I find it so difficult to get through this scene – up to this point we’re basically seeing the Final 15 9 episodes too early. And the similarities don’t stop there so let’s keep going. Note: I am aware I am somewhat jumping the gun with the comparisons, but I don’t want this scene to interfere with the write up when I come to do the Final 15 (I want that to stand on its own merits).

Crowley does try and do some reparations, showing his faith in their capabilities as a team and sticking to the original plan, but Aziraphale knows there was always a flaw in it – what do they do once they actually find the Antichrist? We see a very clever echoing of a previous topic here too – Crowley being unwilling to compromise on his position of the killing of innocents. We saw it in Mesopotamia in 3004 BC and again in the Dinosaur Park from episode 1, although at that point he was able to disguise his stance because of his employment. I’m not sure why he doesn’t use that reasoning at this point again, as his approach causes this discussion to start its descent into an all-out argument about the morality code at play.

There’s a huge sense of irony with Aziraphale’s take on this moral dilemma – apparently the good guys don’t kill children. Clearly his memory is somewhat selective because not only have the “good guys” been doing that for thousands of years, they’re about to kill ALL THE CHILDREN with Armageddon.  It’s no wonder Crowley tries to call him out on it. And can we just talk about the fact that what Aziraphale is asking his friend to do is an absolutely awful thing to do? And for what? So that Heaven doesn’t have “blood on its hands”. Crowley’s face says everything that I could try to put into words about what he’s being asked to do:

Side note: there’s a little moment during this exchange where their fingers almost touch. Maybe actually touch given Crowley appears to react to it, but I couldn’t swear either way owing to the camera angle. It reminds me a little of the Sistine Chapel, but I don’t know that it would be an intentional reference here.

They’re about to reach an impasse in their argument, mostly stoked by Aziraphale’s dogged determination that he can continue to use the fact that he’s a Heavenly being as an excuse for not making difficult choices. The way he delivers this line suggests that not only is this a hill he’s prepared to die on, but that his stance affords him superiority.

The words of Crowley’s reply imply that it was scripted to sound like a small injection of humour into this situation, and I think you could easily interpret it that way.

Then you should kill him yourself. Holi-ly.

I however think that this is him trying to remind Aziraphale that just because you’re an angelic host, that doesn’t mean that you’re above implementing death and violence in certain situations. Perhaps when it lends weight to a moral argument. Either way you choose to read it, we’ve reached our stalemate and so it’s time for Crowley to employ his self-protection mechanisms by hurling insults and making a run for it. And if you were in any doubt that the way this discussion unfolds is meant to be anything other than heartbreaking, you’re not listening to the soundtrack that starts at this exact point – flowing strings and flute in a minor key has emotional turmoil written all over it.

I deliberately left the subtitles off that last gif because I think the vast majority of us recognise the subtext of this conversation without needing to know the exact words that are spoken. It amounts to person A saying something hurtful, causing person B to be shocked and hurt by it before saying something hurtful back as a response before realising they spoke before thinking and trying to take it back. It’s a typical couple argument, isn’t it? Aziraphale’s body language here really resonates with me – it’s such a classic display of regret and desperation that it makes my heart ache.

Are you ready for the big hitters of the mirroring of the Final 15? Let’s start with Aziraphale’s plea:

You can’t leave, Crowley.

Sound familiar?  Sounds an awful lot like a time when a demon stood in front of an angel and told him he couldn’t leave the bookshop to me. Except this time the positions are reversed (obviously). Nonetheless, the parallel with that line is strong. And hold up, there’s another one coming – Crowley’s about to suggest that they run away, maybe not as an “us” but “together”. This time it’s received a little differently though, because that look on Aziraphale’s face is pure hope (until it isn’t).

And just look at Crowley’s body language. He has literally opened himself up to Aziraphale’s acceptance. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that’s his invitation for the angel to cross the bandstand into his embrace and disappear off into the sunset together…

Now, I’m sure there are some of you thinking that Aziraphale’s line about them not being friends completely undermines my theory about them being romantically involved at this point. I would argue that actually it strengthens my theory. The way I hear that line, that’s Aziraphale saying, out in the open, that the word they use as a cover to describe their relationship is categorically not what they share. If he rushed into the next sentence about them being nothing more than an angel and a demon, I might agree that my theory is problematic at this point, but he doesn’t. There’s a pause before he continues where I think he suddenly realises what he almost just gave away and this weak little interjection story is the best he can do to try to maintain the cover. Even he’s not convinced about it – he can’t even maintain eye contact with Crowley after he claims not to like him, I suspect because those words are so hurtful that he’s actually managed to hurt himself with them. You can see Crowley is pretty confused by this whole turn of events too.

Not only is the demon pretty confused by everything that’s going on (after all, he called the meeting to try put together the next steps for their plan to avoid Armageddon, not break up with the love of his existence), but he isn’t prepared to let their partnership go without a fight.

There’s an interesting parallel with the conversation from the second episode in season 2 here – with Crowley claiming he’s protecting “his” existence and Aziraphale contesting that it’s “ours” (i.e. theirs). In this context though, this is Crowley’s last card, a desperate plea for the angel to remember what it is that they have together, what they built for themselves. It’s no good though, Aziraphale is determined to see this one through and does the one thing that he knows Crowley won’t be able to forgive him for – denies it all, which isn’t too dissimilar to the shit he pulls off in the Final 15. And then there’s this:

Those words are the definitive break-up words, aren’t they? You can actually see the thought processes going through Aziraphale’s brain as he resolves to do what he came to do, despite how much it will hurt him to do it. He only manages to make the words come out on the second attempt of opening his mouth to say them, has to take a big breath before he does it, forces himself to make eye contact when he does say the words, even visibly recoils from the sound of them after they’re said. Michael’s performance here is genuinely outstanding, it blows me away how effortlessly he portrays the complex emotions he’s going through. And in fairness, David does an equally outstanding job with his response, particularly given that he can’t really use his eyes. The fact that he conveys Crowley’s distress with the only other tools he has – body language and speech – here is beyond amazing, not least because it’s the very lack of speech that really tells us how much he’s hurting from what’s just happened.

And if there was even the slightest bit of doubt left about whether this was a relationship break-up scene or not, maybe just look at Aziraphale’s devastated expression as he watches Crowley walk away.

There’s one last thing I want to draw attention to in this scene. All the way through the meeting, it has been possible to hear individual bits of birdsong from the surrounding area. Just after Crowley delivers his apparently nonchalant parting shot (“Have a nice doomsday”), we can hear an increase in volume of the birdsong in the soundtrack.

It’s not an individual bird this time, but an absolute cacophony of song, like a dawn chorus (which is unlikely – we are led to believe that this is the end of the day, not the start of one). I would say that its increased prominence was to do with the camera angle, which now pans out to include a wide shot of the bandstand, but we also hear a subtle quieting of the birdsong as we get to the end of the scene. Given the use of birdsong for individual birds being used for subtext in this series, I’m sure there must be some meaning to this as it certainly doesn’t feel accidental. According to the RSPB, “the dawn chorus is the symphony of song performed by birds looking for love, and to defend their patch”, which would feel rather fitting for the end of this scene – the screaming of the birds representing Aziraphale’s inner turmoil that he has just pushed away the one person he wanted most to protect, but feeling as if this was his only option. Or maybe I’m full of shit, and the birds were just really loud the day of shooting.

There’s one remaining scene in this episode, but I couldn’t find anything outside of the given narrative of interest, so let’s just say that we end this episode finding out that Adam is really coming into his powers, though it should be obvious to us that he’s not exactly using them to carry out the devilish deeds that we might expect to see from the Son of Satan.

Well there we are. Did you enjoy that? I have to say, I didn’t. I started this part of the write up with a disclaimer that I find the “break-up” scene very hard to watch, and it did not get any easier going over it in minute detail. I suspect I will need some sort of food or alcohol comfort to get me through the Final 15 when I get there, but for now I’m safe right? It’s not like there’s any immediate angst coming my way in the next episode, right?

Ah bollocks. Oh well, I guess I’ll see you on the other side of that one. As usual, comments, questions, discussion, all welcome!

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

Can I please have something about Mjf x reader at All In in London? You can chose whatever you want to write I couldn’t think of anything sorry

London bridge

Summary: You and Max go sightseeing before the big PPV

Word count: 897

Main Masterlist MJF Masterlist

Y/n’s pov:

I woke up this morning with the sun shining in my eyes, it was a cool chilly day in London. Max and I had arrived in London a few days before the PPV to sightsee and catch up on some much needed rest. For the most part we had adjusted to the time difference but of course Max being Max needs his beauty rest. I felt nervous, tomorrow was All In. Max would be wrestling two matches and somehow I managed to get dragged into the rivalry with best friends and the BCC. That means I will be a part of the stadium stampede for the second time in my career. Double or Nothing 2020 I was a part of the Elite’s team and here we are in 2023 on the side of The Best Friends. To be completely honest I was worried about Max’s matches and not my own, sure I was a female and saw the twitter gossip saying I should not be in such a violent match but that didn’t bother me. What did bother me was how Max’s relationship with Adam Cole would turn out to be when this is all over. 

My thoughts were broken when I felt Max put his arm around my waste and pull me close into his chest. “Go back to sleep, we still have time” I looked at the clock and it read *7:15 am*. I wanted to cave and let Max continue to use me as a human body pillow but my mind was awake. 

“Max, you need to let go of me, I need to get up!” I said, trying to break free of his grasp. 

“Y/n, I know you are stressed out right now, but killing yourself in that gym isn’t going to do anything” How did he know I was planning on going to the fitness room in our hotel that was just so conveniently located on the same floor as our room? “I know you Y/n, just stay for a little bit longer then we can go out for a nice breakfast” said a very sleepy Max. 

His words were true, he did know me, almost too well. When Max and I first met five years ago at the first All In we instantly clicked, slowly becoming friends and four years later lovers. One of my bad habits I had picked up during my time in Japan was working out till your worked out. Working out to the point of exhaustion, muscles on fire, body in pain, begging for it to stop but not being able to. Countless hours nonstop of intense training as a punishment for feeling feelings that are meant to be felt. As much as I hated to admit it, Max was right. Working out till i’m worked out the day before the biggest PPV in not only the history of AEW but Professional Wrestling itself was stupid. But It was killing me just lying there staring up at the ceiling of our hotel room not being able to fall back asleep. So I decided to get up, shower and get ready for the day while Max slept a little longer. 

****

Max’s  Pov

I love Y/n but sometimes she worries me. Everyone was nervous and stressed about All In but I could tell there was something else that was bothering her, even if she didn’t know it. So, I thought a nice breakfast would brighten her up and take some of the stress away, and if that didn’t work, well maybe a nice massage would do the trick. 

Y/n and I walked around the streets of London for a while before finding a cafe which had an amazing view of the London bridge. Even though it is August it was still chilly. I wore pants with a nice sweater alongside my Burberry scarf of course. Y/n had jeans and her Burberry jacket to keep her warm with the cool breeze. The two of us had high tea. Even though I despise going for tea (since my mother always forced me to go with her ever since I was little) I sucked it up and did it for Y/n because I know she enjoys it. Doing things you don’t like for the other is part of being in a relationship, something Y/n taught me. Not to be selfish and help me to become a better person, I will always be grateful for that. 

Tea consisted of mini sandwiches, scones, pastries, fruit and of course tea. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would and was happy to see it help Y/n feel better. After we finished we spent the remainder of the day walking around town. We stopped in many different small shops, ate delicious pastries and even got to see the London bridge. 

I was so glad to see how genuinely happy Y/n was, being able to forget about what tomorrow held even if it was just for a few hours. It was moments like these where we acted like real people. Not focused on acting a certain way for the sake of a camera. Tomorrow we would be MJF and Y/W/N but for now we were just Max and Y/n, two people who rarely were let out into the real world. 

[jnkgrnde]

— let her go

pairings : shuriri x black!reader

warnings : angst, major character death, both shuri and riri spiral a lil bc they feel guilty but try to keep their composure for each other, descriptions of blood, major injuries (broken bones, DEEP cuts, etc.), uh probs others that i missed but there’s jus a whole lot of injuries 😭, no happy ending

summary : an important mission in retrieving stolen vibranium goes wrong, leading to deep cuts, bruises, and a dance with death. divider by @firefly-graphics !

everything hurt. deep cuts leaked with blood, body aching with pain. you knew you didn’t have much longer; you were slipping in and out of consciousness.

“shit, shit, someb- fuck- somebody do something!” riri’s usual strong mind was a jumbled mess. hot, thick tears were racing down her cheeks as she tripped on her words. her chest felt compressed, the feeling weighing more and more the more she had to look at your battered body.

shuri wasn’t much better; eyes red and stinging with tears, hands shaky as she frantically tried to find ways to heal you. even with wakanda’s healing technology, it looked like you had a slim chance of recovery. “griot, vitals!” she yelled at the program.

“y/n’s oxygen is at 15% and dropping. her right shoulder is dislocated, fractures appear to be in her skull, arm, and leg.” if possible, the girls hearts broke even more at the sound of griot saying your injuries. it looked much worse than griot said — large, deep gashes covering almost every part of your body, shoulder looking like its in the wrong place, bones looking like they’re turned the wrong way.

“okoye, how much longer?!” shuri yelled at the head dora. “40 seconds, my queen.” “40 seconds ain’t enough!” “it- it hurts-“ was one of the only things you’d managed to get out. “i know, baby, i know!” riri told you. “just hold on, y/n, we’re almost there.” shuri turned to you. there were very few things that made her cry and very few times she did, and this was one of those times.

her heart hammered at her chest. ‘y/n’s oxygen levels are at 15% and dropping.’ thinking of griot’s sentence made her hiccup a bit.

okoye flew with tears gathered in her eyes while ayo looked down at you with hers. even before you, shuri, and riri got together, the dora had been close with you. you’d hang out with them when you were bored, or while shuri was working on some big project and needed to focus.

right now they don’t know if they’ll ever get that time back again.

“my queen, y/n’s oxygen levels have dropped to 8%.” “i can’t think. i can’-“ riri was at shuri’s side before she even got a chance to notice, squeezing her hand tightly. “okoye, how long?” the small girl asked. “we’ve arrived.”

riri and shuri wasted no time getting you to the lab and on a table. they were so sure that they could save you that they didn’t know you’d already passed.

they ran frantically around the lab, yelling at each other out of stress. by the time they reached your body, though, you’d stop breathing. your chest wasn’t rising.

they froze in their tracks once they noticed.

“y-y/n?” riri’s beady eyes traced your figure. shuri felt like someone froze time. her mouth was agape, tools clattering to the ground. riri moved to put her ear against your mouth. “no, no, no, no- she’s- she’s not-“

“riri.” “shuri, she’s- we can fix her, right?” riri looked to shuri for reassurance before looking down at you. “riri.” riri didn’t hear shuri the second time and started shaking your body out of desperation. “y/n, wake up, please!” “RIRI!”

shuri came from behind to hold the girl who burst into tears. “shuri-“ riri choked. shuri was sobbing more than enough. her chest hurt greatly, the feeling of guilt already consuming her.

riri’s head pounded with unbelievable pain from crying so hard. your last spoken words from not even ten minutes ago rang in her head.

it hurts.

it’s been two months since your passing, and the two had been miserable. the feeling of guilt and sadness took over their beings. nakia, okoye, and others came to check on them often. occasionally, shuri or riri would come out of their shared room to bring back food, or shuri would go down to the lab to see if she’d been up for making something, but everytime she stepped, in all she could hear was sobbing and see your immobile body laying on the table.

holding onto everything you owned only made it worse. so, so much worse.

your pillow was still kept on the bed, the sheets still had a mix of your scent on them alongside riri and shuri’s, they kept the gifts they got you, etc. riri and shuri tried supporting eachother the best they could, but they both knew that there was no point.

“do you think we could’ve saved her?” riri asked one night. shuri pushed them to at least get out the bed and on the balcony to get some air. it was another one of your favorite things to do; sit out on the balcony and watch over wakanda, talking with them about any and everything.

they couldn’t do that with you anymore, and they were well aware.

shuri swallowed thickly. she didn’t want to answer, because she knew they could’ve. if only they had a little more time, or if they moved faster, then they could’ve saved you.

shuri considered lying, but riri would’ve known she was. “maybe if we had a little more time, ri.” riri slightly winced at the nickname, but nodded. at least she knew shuri was being truthful.

the two ended up laying on each other, talking here and there. “d’you think she’s looking down at us right now?” that was a question shuri could answer immediately. “i know she is. i’m sure she is.”

a beat.

“i think my brother and mother are with her. guiding her through the ancestral plane.” shuri spoke quietly. her heart pounded in her chest when she spoke of both you and her brother. it was a comforting thought, on the other hand. three of the people she loves most were together again, the fourth being with her at that moment.

“riri?” the small genius hummed. “do you think we’ll be okay?”

it was silent for a moment and shuri was almost convinced she was asleep.

“she’d be mad at us if we weren’t.”

you looked at them with tear filled eyes and a sad smile.

she was right. you would be mad if they weren’t okay.

[dorokora]

Chapter 15 Episode 2 Part 2

We start with narration about Sanzo from Motosumi. Sanzo is the weakest in the guild. A long time ago, the Asakusa area was in a state of disrepair. The locals bring out their sacred treasures and the fights escalate into conflicts. The guild wasn’t as unified back then. It was around that time that Sanzo. He always gets caught up in fights. For some reason, he's always the one in the middle of all the criminal cases that attracts the attention of dangerous people. No matter how cruel they were, he never used his Sacred artifact on people. Before they knew it, he and Motosumi started hanging out. People from neighboring districts started to respect him. Well, that's how things happened, and the current Asakusa Guild was created. It wasn't until much later that he realized that Sanzo was just really weak. The truth is, he's stupid, perverted, a snob, trouble-prone, and pathetic. Sanzo’s sacred artifact can't really be used in a fight, he can't do anything with it. Either he gets into trouble without thinking, or he gets caught up in trouble unfortunately (He’s just like MC).

We cut back to the disturbing surgery, Sanzo begs them not to make it hurt. But Baphomet assured him that they’re not going to cut up his natural body. The true goal is to inject memories directly to the sacred artifact. At that moment, Sanzo felt his consciousness speeding up and heading somewhere. After that Baphomet used her ability to follow him. Sanzo’s mind ends up in the same hellscape Tokyo from CH14. Baphomet later shows up as well and tells Sanzo she’s here to provide mental care. She tells Sanzo what he is seeing is the future of Tokyo. There was no trace of human life. There were many robots lying around that had probably been abandoned and left out in the open. Sanzo ask how can future like this even happen. Baphomet says that it’s the app people are using. The number of users is becoming more and more widespread. New transients are coming to Tokyo one after another. As you all know, once the number of transients and App users becomes the majority, the closed areas will be replaced. The minority becomes the majority. In Tokyo, where the rule exists, becomes the reality side. And in this Tokyo, there are various rules. New things that can be done are increasing rapidly. The Rule to grow gold, Rule to control the weather, Rule to rejuvenate, and Rule to switch genders. "Rule" to manipulate minds, "Rule" to blend with others, "Rule" to control virtual realms, and "Rule" to rewind time. By multiplying these, the ``things you can do'' will continue to increase exponentially. The peaks of beliefs from all kinds of other worlds are combined to exceed the limits of human imagination. Eventually, even beings that are smarter than themselves will be born, and then the Role of humans will end. Because human specs will no longer be able to keep up with even imagination.

We cut to the Warmongers and Invaders. Yoritomo says things will change at a speed that will leave politics that regulate rules behind and other the world reps had no choice but to accept that not only politics but also other forces could not keep up with this acceleration. Apps and new Rules will continue to spread throughout Tokyo. Back to Sanzo, he asked if Tokyo will become this way because of the spread of "apps"? Baphomet says no, the proliferation of "apps" will only speed things up a bit. Humans want to increase what they can do. They leave behind even thinking about who they were. However, humans do not know how to use this accelerated technology. Baphomet says she loves humans. But for them, they have no idea who they are. They have no idea if they are male or female, what their actual physical appearance is, whether they are human, demonic, or a god. The only thing they found out is that they were once called "God" somewhere.

We cut to the Rule Makers, Michael spout some stuff about only those chosen can remain in gods paradise or something. He next appoints Masashi to watch over the progress of the surgeries. Since Masanori went through a similar god making progress in his world. Michael secretly regrets this political decision. The great selection of this child also serves as a way to appease Koropokkuru. Due to his alliance with the Yurakucho Guild and his treatment of Babe Bunyan, he was currently in a cold war with Koropokkuru. As a political response to the boy who wishes for a "paradise for young children," he believe that selecting the Masashi right in front of him is the right move. Bael in the background is not too happy about this.

We cut to MC and the Missionaries fighting the Rule Maker angels. Back to Sanzo, who tells Baphomet not to say awful things about themselves like that. Baphomet was genuinely surprised by those words. Back to missionaries, Maria was about to be captured but an unexpected helper showed up. It was Nyarl in his Entertainer outfit. Nyarl multiples and battle ensues.

[en-chi-la-da]

general animal death talk below

last night my dog sissy finally passed away

when i say finally i don't mean it like "god FINALLY i've been WAITING for her to GO already", i mean it like, i've been expecting it. "she's a tiny elder dog so i shouldn't be surprised when it happens", it's happening > it happened > time goes on. she's lived a long life, a solid 21 years (her birthday is in january) which was way longer than i was expecting her to go to be honest (although it is the estimated lifespan for the chihuahua breed WHATEVER) she was a strong little geezer. never broke a bone, rarely got sick, it felt like she was indestructible, looking back on it all.

unfortunately, she did get sick once again, so it actually wasn't from her old age catching up to her (again, that's what i expected to happen). she became lethargic and weak, very hot, was not eating/drinking or getting up to use the bathroom, when she did it was only to pee, and lots of sleeping. when we got her checked out she was dehydrated, ran over 103-degree F fever, and they told us that after an ultrasound they had found some cysts that had developed in her lower body (her digestive tract i believe). they said her body was trying to fight off an infection, most likely from the cysts, but they couldn't tell if they were cancerous or not or if one of them had popped or something. in the end, she wasn't looking good.

long term, we would've had to pay for numerous tests and surgeries for them to figure out what exactly was affecting her and try to treat her, although with her current state and how old she was, the vet estimated that most likely, her body wouldn't be able to handle all of that. short term, the quality of life route, we administer painkillers for a predetermined amount of time until she passes on her own or we run out. or, euthanization right there in the clinic. i saw no point in the medicine, why try to keep her around, just so we could watch her continue to suffer in her own bed? so she could keep not drinking or eating? so the infection could keep spreading? so i could end up one day coming home to find her dead body? horrible and ugly and the last thing i want to remember her by.

it felt like the best course of action, all things considered. she gets to pass painlessly, and i get to say goodbye and hold her in my arms one last time. honestly, i hadn't even started crying until it was over. when i felt her stop breathing and the vet confirmed that her heart had stopped. sure, at this point i had already accepted the fact that she was dying, there's not much we could do about it without hurting her more, it's the cycle of life, it was her time to go, i knew it was going to happen eventually - still, despite everything i was telling myself, to just get through it, for her sake - all my feelings in that moment still hit me like a truck. never before had she felt so small.

her life and her death will remain with me for the rest of mine, and i can only hope to see her again one day, but not for a long, long time.

i'm okay now, for the moment. honestly, ive just been rewatching all the videos i have of her, continuing to think of her and remembering her life with me. all that's left is to let the grieving process pass, i suppose. this is the last pic i got of sissy - this was from only a day before she started getting sick, can you believe that? i have others of her obviously, but this one i'm more comfortable with sharing.

on 4-15-2024 i said goodbye to the strongest chihuahua i've ever known and had the pleasure of raising 💖 may she rest in peace! :')

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

obviously these things are not all on the same scale but the compounding of personal, communal, and global events just have me 🫠

- End of Sept my beloved childhood dog had to be put down

- October 7th, Hamas attack

- October 9th, get a call from my dad that he’s flying in because grandma unexpectedly took a downturn

- October 10th, nervously waiting for my dad’s update all day. Finally get it and hear that things are critical but stable. He feels optimistic after talking to the doctor. He was able to talk to her too. She’s too tired in the evening because dialysis is tiring,but I should visit tomorrow.

- October 11th wake up early and can’t go back to sleep. Go get coffee just for something to do. Gets call at 6:58 from my dad and I know it can’t be good. Go to the hospital. See her. Give the doctors permission to start palliative care so she’s more comfortable. Hold her hand. Give her so many forehead kisses. She cant talk, but she tears up when I tell her how much I love her and my future plans. My dad is wearing a stupid fucking pro-cop shirt and I can’t help but be angry about how clueless he is and for adding this stupidity to a day that’s going to be etched into my brain for the rest of my life. Every 15 minutes or so when the nurse checks in, they remind us that there no rush, but we can take her oxygen mask off whenever we are ready. When are we ready? How are we ever ready? We know she doesn’t want to be kept on life support. Are we ready? We know she is experiencing some discomfort all hooked up like that. Are we ready? Let’s wait for one more person to get here. Are we ready? We wish she could tell us what she wanted. Are we ready? After everyone got to say goodbye. I think my partner was the one to finally suggest that it was time and I agreed. Or was it me who said it? My dad was looking for any input. An only child, not wanting to make these decisions alone. I slip into my historic role of eldest daughter, not even much younger than him anymore, knowing a decision is better than no decision. My sister and I each have one of her hands. As soon i can no longer hear her last exhale, the doctor comes in to declare her time of death. People spend different amounts of time after. My sister has to go back to work. My dad stays around, then says he’s going to grab his sweatshirt from his truck, then texts and says he’s going to find somewhere for us to get brunch. I spend about an hour with her after she was gone. Holding her hand, kissing her forehead, rubbing her arm until it’s completely cold. It takes longer than I’d thought. I keep a lock of her hair. It’s hard to leave her bedside. Next time I touch her body it will be pulverized bone that I’m trying to scoop into a locket. My partner and I get brunch with my dad.

This grief is by far the most difficult thing I’ve had to deal with in my life, and I don’t think my life has been particularly easy. She was the source of unconditional love I could depend on in my life. She was only 68 so I took for granted there would be more time. I’m able to cling to knowing that she was ready even if I wasn’t, that she had a peaceful death with people she loved. Meanwhile I’m seeing headlines every day grief multiplied over and over again, learning more about the attack, learning more about the Israeli military response escalating, bombings, bringing more and more death and grief. Violent deaths with last moments that haunt and terrify me. Deaths where the mourners do not get the comfort that I’ve been clinging to. Grieve for Jews and I have people who I consider my peers deciding that this means I’m some sort of right wing nationalist who doesn’t give a shit about Palestinians. Grieve for Palestinians, and people in my community think I’m some sort of self hating jew who believes terrorists attacks are justified. Feeling rejection on multiple fronts when shit is real. Even writing it I can hear a response of “really, feeling rejection is hurting you? People are dying!” And it’s like YES- people dying doesn’t mean that suddenly we no longer experience the human need for connection AND the thing that’s causing this rejection is seeing people’s humanity and CARING ABOUT THOSE DEATHS.

Really I just don’t know how a person can’t see their own grief and pain reflected back again and again in other people.

Don’t really have a point to this aside from the fact that this is definitely warping my brain in new and exciting ways but just shout out to people who are dealing with Major World Events and Major Life Events at the same time time. It sucks ass.