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corevibeself · 26 days ago

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Let Me Slap You In The Face (PAC)

Not literally... HAHA!

Here is the reality check reading from the recent poll I posted. Sorry, it took so long to post. I have been busy with school. Thank you for voting; hope you enjoy a slap in the face

Let me relay the message: This isn't to hurt you! I make sure my delivery is tinged with a bit of humour, but I will say, this is for people who are open to self-empowerment and won't see this as an attack, because the reality of it is, we've all got shadows; we've all got things we do that we want to change. The key is not identifying yourself with the parts you don't prefer; you are so much more than just what you see as flaws. This is never done to shame anyone; my intent is always out of the kindness of my heart and soul. If I do end up coming across that way, apologies in advance; I'm still learning how to communicate non-aggressively; I have Pluto in Scorpio in the 3rd house, HAHAHA.

I'll be using the Rebel deck for their straightforward messages and looking at some shadow aspects of my oracle cards. Enjoy the reality check, HAHA!

Pile 1

Ooooh girl, okay—"Who Says" by Selena Gomez literally started playing in my head when I read your message. Specifically, the lyric, “Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting?” Go listen to that song—seriously. I think there are more lyrics in there that might resonate with you. It’s a meaningful track because it speaks directly to those negative beliefs we carry about ourselves, the ones that hold us back.

You know—“I’m too fat to wear this,” or “I don’t think I can be as good as them.” That’s the kind of energy I’m feeling. But here’s the thing: those thoughts don’t matter. You’re not competing with anyone else. You’re only ever competing with who you are right now. The best version of you—it’s real, it’s possible, and it’s yours. But you’ve got to stop making excuses.

That doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid. They 100% are. But sometimes our emotions are rooted in beliefs that just aren’t true. And we don’t want those beliefs to rule our actions. Just because something feels true, doesn’t mean it is true. Every human being is worthy of love, of going after what they want, of being who they are. No exceptions. You were born on this planet as a good person. Anything negative you feel about yourself? That came from someone else. So start letting go of what isn’t truly you.

You already know who you are—because what you are feels good to you. Do you like crochet? Then you’re creative. That’s beautiful. That’s part of you. Maybe you’re sensitive and cry when you hear music—that’s a stunning trait. To connect so deeply with sound shows your open heart and your incredible receptivity. These are just examples, but what I'm trying to say is: change your perspective and see your worth, pile 1.

I do feel like there might be some victimization energy here, not because you’re weak, but because you don’t fully believe in yourself yet. It feels like you don’t think you’re capable of what others can do. But that’s not true, and that’s not the energy we want. What we want is self-empowerment. The universe isn't against you, Pile 1, and if it feels like it, shift your perspective. No, this isn't toxic positivity; we can acknowledge our sufferings and the negativity of the world, our pains and feelings, whilst still choosing to see the light. I choose to see the glass as half full, because I'd rather savor what’s there than mourn what’s missing. Do you realize that every setback or negative experience has shown you more of yourself? Yet you choose to run away from what it's shown you, from what needs healing, to hide in the comfort of what feels safer. At some point, the pain isn't even about the situation anymore; it's just self-inflicted. A shift in perspective is all it takes to change your entire worldview. If you think it will be hard, then it will be. If you think facing yourself, changing yourself, and being authentic and vulnerable is hard, ask why. You will start to see all the limitations you put on yourself.

It also feels like you might be someone who people-pleases. Maybe you hide your true feelings to avoid conflict or because you’re scared of being abandoned. I get it. But here’s the truth: you can respectfully express your feelings. It’s totally possible to communicate honestly and kindly. And if someone still walks away after you’ve been real with them? Then they weren’t meant for your honesty and vulnerability. But others will be. I promise.

Oh—and I got a specific message for someone who’s a tarot reader: if you tend to sugarcoat your readings because you’re afraid the truth will hurt someone, or they won’t want to hear it—don’t do that. You’re dishonouring your intuition and your craft. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to want to protect people. But when you filter your truth too much, you make it harder to be authentic—and you deprive others of the real magic of you.

Pile 2

I’m going to suggest you stay open-minded, Pile 2. I know you think you know everything down to the tea about a specific subject or situation — but babe, you don’t. And that’s totally fine. Sometimes, you need to make space for other perspectives.

And this is specifically for my chronically online babes: please, go outside and touch some grass. We are not meant to be consuming this much negativity every single day, and I feel like it’s messing with how you view the world and the people in it.

I fully believe we create our reality through our thoughts, emotions, intentions, etc. Maybe you don’t believe that, and that’s okay — but you have to admit that constantly taking in content that makes us feel like shit… dealing with people who dump their trauma on us… reading toxic comments… listening to fucked up internet stories… all of that affects you. More than you realize. It affects your brain, your thoughts, and your emotions. And yes, all of that spills into how you experience life, whether you are conscious of it or not.

And no, I’m not saying you can’t be sad, or angry, or human about things that are happening in real time in the world, or that you have to be ignorant, it's great that you care, but living in constant hypervigilance or walking on eggshells isn't fun either so there needs to be a balance.

I’d also say to bring awareness to your emotions. Are you growing from them? Or are you being suffocated by them and using them as a reason to act a certain way?

Social media creates a fear-based, warped version of reality that makes it hard to feel safe being yourself. Yes, there are dangers in the world. Yes, we should be aware and protect ourselves. But assuming the worst in everyone? That just creates a constant state of anxiety , you start to believe that’s what life is. That’s all there is.

You might even be someone who unintentionally projects that negativity onto others. One example I’m getting is like… an online debate or argument. And I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid — they are — but make sure you’re not matching someone else’s energy if they’re coming at you sideways. It’s not worth it. Not everyone’s going to believe in what you believe in. Not everyone thinks the way you do. It sucks, but people are the way they are for a reason.

If we were all the same, we wouldn’t grow — we wouldn’t even know who we are. And yeah, that includes the “bad” people we meet. But what if you started seeing those people and situations as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, instead of trying to change them or control how they think? You’d be helping your own growth, and naturally attracting the people who do vibe with you.

Life’s not about changing others — you can’t force that. But you can become the highest version of yourself. And when you do that? You’ll inspire others just by being you. Through your kindness. Through loving yourself and forgiving others, not for them, but for you.

People hate when I say forgiving, as if I'm asking you to forgive their actions, no. I'm asking you to forgive yourself for letting their actions take a toll on you.

So yeah. Be more open-minded. Not saying you’re not, Pile 2, but on certain things… you’re kind of closed off. And when we really believe we’ve got something all figured out, we stop ourselves from growing.

I’m picking up on this mindset: “I’m thinking this way because it’s right. This is wrong. These people are wrong. I know I’m doing what’s right.” And trust me, I’m all for following your inner compass — but ask yourself:

Does it feel light? Does it drain me? Do I feel empowered?

That’s your real answer.

Pile 3

Like, literally, stop obsessing. It doesn’t matter as much as you think it does, and you’re just purposely making your life harder than it actually is because of some unhealed shit that you're aware of — but you either distract yourself or lie to yourself to make yourself feel better. When in actuality, your body and mind and heart are begging to be in sync with each other.

I think you tell yourself things to make your situation feel better than it actually is — like, not delulu in a good, empowering way — you're delulu in a way that is controlling and limits your potential as a person. You like things to be your way, which is fine, but has your way been working out for you? Or are you still dealing with the same old habits or situations, and emotions that keep popping up?

It just feels like the energy of someone who thinks they got their shit together — and you do — but it’s too much. You're not letting yourself breathe. You're not hearing your heart out. You're afraid of facing all of what you've pushed down, in fear that it will be too overwhelming to feel.

Like, please, feel your feelings and emotions instead of intellectualizing them and telling yourself that everything is fine when it's not. It's okay not to be okay. It's okay to feel like you don't want to plaster a smile, or do that assignment, or show up to work with the best energy. It's okay to not be as confident in your situation. It's okay to just be in a state of shitty emotions — because they are there to be acknowledged, not pushed down or told that there's a solution.

Your emotions don't need a solution; they need to be felt.

Find a moment, close your eyes, and feel. Where is the emotion? Is it a physical sensation — a tightness in the chest, heavy shoulders? Focus on it. Breathe in it. Let yourself be present.

I just remembered this quote, so maybe this is for you: "When we constantly think about the why — why did this happen, why, why, why — we’re trying to regain a sense of control over situations that were never meant to be controlled." This is a coping mechanism, a fear of failure, a fear of not doing enough, not being enough. BUT YOU ARE. No amount of external shit will heal the internal, NO AMOUNT. You don't have to do certain things to be seen as worthy, you don't have to have a whole load of money, or perfect confidence or whatever it is you tell yourself you need to have or the way your life needs to look. Ask yourself, when I think of my life and what I want, is it from a place of fear? of lack?

"If I don't have this, I won't be whole."

But you are whole as you are, and you struggle to see or feel that.

You need to become more comfortable with not having your shit together, because most of it comes from major anxiety issues that will impact your health, babes. Like, seriously, consider sitting with chaos a bit.

You also have great intuition, so I already know that you know you're not treating yourself the best. You're aware that you're controlling — even if just subconsciously — and I bet you can just feel how tired and exhausted your body is. So listen to that.

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FINALLY I'M SO GLAD I COULD FINISH THIS POST., Hope y'all enjoyed my hand swiping across your face in the most brutal manner possible, jkjk hehehe

#tarot reading #tarotcommunity #intuitive readings #pac reading #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot #reality check

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whatbigotspost · 5 months ago

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Hey is it just me or does it seem like a bunch of boomers and misc oldie moldies say their most hurtful, toxic, ageist bullshit bc they’re pretty clearly out of their minds jealous of how happy, freely fat, queer, proudly neurodivergent, mental health aware, and loving of others a lot of millennials and genZ are.

Instead of “getting with the times” and figuring out their joy, they get mad at us.

Instead of asking themselves why they’ve always felt different or shitty, they get enraged we understand ourselves.

Instead of asking what work they need to do, they call us snowflakes for taking care of ourselves, going no contact w/ their toxic asses, etc.

Instead of figuring out what makes them truly giddy with happiness, they grow resentful we’ve figure out what thriving looks like for us despite all the many many challenges our generations face.

Instead of seeing how we are processing our trauma, healing, building better lives, and growing proud of us for those accomplishments, they feel revealed for their roles in our harm, and they just can’t handle it.

Good god I hope I never become them.

And before someone does that classic thing Tumblr always does when I talk like this and assumes that I am a teenager and they condescend to me about how much more living that I have to do that will “harden me” or whatever, I just want to make it perfectly clear that I’m fucking 40 and I feel bad for you.

There are lots of teenagers that are more mature than lots of grandparents out there. Your age doesn’t necessarily equate to an emotional maturity level. Aging gives you a lot of opportunity to become more mature if you take it, but a shocking amount of people are somehow skillfully able to avoid that experience altogether.

i’ll just end on this… If you find yourself simmering and seething in rage, shame, or resentment at beholding what someone else’s best life, happiness, and joy looks like, please for the love of god, take that as a red flag about YOU and an invitation to figure your own fucking life out because something is gravely wrong.

#Pro aging #Healing #healthy relationships #Generational theory is largely bullshit disclaimer

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waiting-eyez · 4 months ago

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My great hope for us as young women is to start being kinder to ourselves so that we can be kinder to each other. To stop shaming ourselves and other people for things we don’t know the full story on – whether someone is too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too loud, too quiet, too anything. There’s a sense that we’re all ‘too’ something, and we’re all not enough.

(Emma Stone)

#emma stone

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theeternalwomb · 20 days ago

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Aligned With Her: A Guide to Cycle Syncing & Sacred Routine

message: hi, long time no see, I wanted to work on this post and release this for you guys. I’ve been channeling a lot of energy into building a foundation for myself and really fine tuning my habits, behaviors, and routines. I think as women we are constantly searching for lost secrets and paths back home to ourselves as we’ve spent generations under the weight of suppression and the world’s disconnection and rejection of the feminine energy. I made a post the other day about how a woman and girls job is to build a foundation for herself and focus on her reverence for her being and spirit. This post is apart of that and I take my role in sharing this information and helping one another understand ourselves very seriously. If you saw my other post I released not too long ago about stages of the menstrual cycle and divine feminine and masculines role/purpose during those times this post is in connection to that one and I will be linking it at the bottom of this post so that you can refer back to it. Thank you for reading! Happy cycle syncing!

****

why we cycle sync: cycle syncing is the practice of aligning your lifestyle (diet, exercise, work, social life, and self-care) with the four phases of your menstrual cycle. The ultimate goal is to support your body's natural hormonal fluctuations instead of fighting them and ultimately creating endless cycles of burnout and inactivity. It's important to recognize that the model of productivity that is commonly upheld is masculine in nature, it is linear not cyclical ad the feminine is. When we try to fit ourselves into that system that ignores natural changes we can experience burnout, shame, and disconnection from ourselves and our bodies. It is imperative that the woman reclaim her strength, her time, her intuition, and her right to move through life in tune with herself.

****

phase one: The Menstrual Phase (days: 1-5) / "Winter" / The New Moon

energy level: low

physical symptoms: fatigue, cramps, bloating, headaches, lower back pain, and breast tenderness

emotional symptoms: low mood, irritability, fatigue, and emotional sensitivity

hormonal changes: low estrogen and progesterone, drop in hormones triggers menstruation

fertility: not pregnant

spiritual meaning: rest, release, and renewal. preparing for new beginnings and shedding what no longer serves you.

themes: reflection, introspection, purification, renewal

focus: detox, rebirth

activities: meditation, journaling, grounding techniques, release and healing rituals.

fitness focus: during this phase, the body is naturally shedding and conserving energy. movement should support circulation, reduce cramping, and offer emotional regulation. movement at this stage is less about performance and more about communion with the body. this is going to look like: prioritizing rest, gentle yoga, stretching, short and mindful walks, pelvic floor release work, hip opening stretches, breathwork. prioritize yoga poses like The Goddess Pose, Child's Pose, Legs Up The Wall, Knees-to-Chest, Yoga Squat, Cat-Cow, Supine Twists, and Happy Baby. Perhaps focus on deep belly breathing.

hormonal context & hormone supportive foods: at this stage estrogen and progesterone are at their lowest levels, this is where some of our toughest symptoms stem from like fatigue, low mood, and brain fog. mineral-rich and iron-supportive foods are key. we want to focus on replenishment, minerals, warmth and iron through our dietary choices.

iron-rich foods: grass-fed red meat, organ meats (like liver), beets, seaweed, spinach and leafy greens, with the edition of lemon for vitamin C.

Magnesium-rich foods: pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, dark chocolate (70% cacao), Avocados.

Warming foods: bone broth, stews, soups, with root vegetables, oats, nut butters. healthy fats for hormone support: salmon, mackerel, coconut oil, olive oil, eggs

(reduce caffeine, alcohol, greasy and processed foods, and dairy of it contributes to inflammation and cramping for you.)

teas & herbal support:

for cramping & relaxation:

chamomile- calms the nervous system, reduces cramping

ginger- anti-inflammatory, warming

raspberry leaf tea- tones the uterus and supports circulation

peppermint - reduces bloating and nausea

cinnamon tea- to warm the body and increase blood flow

for hormonal nourishment & fatigue:

nettle leaf- rich in iron, calcium, and magnesium

licorice root- adrenal support

ashwagandha- for stress and hormone balance

ginger tea- circulation

cayenne tea- circulation

hydration:

thirst level: moderate to extreme

water intake: 80-100 oz a day

**consider adding electrolytes (sea salt, coconut water, trace minerals) sip on warm teas and soups to help with hydration and warmth. hydration at this stage is really important due to fluid and blood loss and prostaglandin increase!!**

other healing rituals/practices:

castor oil packs on the lower abdomen

womb massages with warm oils

Epsom salt baths with herbs

dry brushing before a warm shower

****

phase two: The Follicular Phase (days: 6-14) / "Spring" / Waxing Crescent

energy level: higher

physical symptoms: increased mood, higher motivation, skin may begin to clear, light discharge

emotional symptoms: increased mood, higher motivation, increased creativity, mental clarity

hormonal changes: rising estrogen, FSH stimulate follicle growth in ovaries, uterine lining will begin to thicken to support a fertilized egg.

fertility: preparing for pregnancy

spiritual meaning: growth, new beginnings, and rising energy. time for planting new seeds (ideas, intentions, and projects) and feeling excited for and embracing growth.

themes: creativity, rebirth, expansion, and manifestation

focus: productivity

activities: set new intentions, start new projects, embrace creativity, visualization through meditation, and manifestation rituals.

fitness focus: high intensity. perfect time to challenge the body quickly (intervals, jogging, hiking, cycling, cardio, weight training/lifting or strength training). great time to do progressive overload in the gym. good time to also do things like Pilates, flow based yoga, group workouts and fitness classes.

hormonal context & hormone supportive foods:

fermented foods: kimchi, sauerkraut, kefir

vegetables: broccoli, cabbage, kale

lean proteins: chicken, eggs, fish

carbs: Quinoa, oats, sweet potatoes

seeds: pumpkin, flax

legumes: chickpeas, lentils, alfalfa

fruits: berries, citrus, apples

(reduce caffeine to avoid anxiety due to already high energy levels, avoid processed sugar and alcohol. avoid overeating as your appetite is low during this stage, try to keep meals light and clean.)

teas & herbal support:

nettle - iron-rich, supports hormone balance and energy

green tea or matcha - gentle energy and antioxidants

red clover tea- supports estrogen balance

ginger or lemon balm- helps regulate digestion and stabilize mood

hydration:

thirst level: neutral to moderate

water intake: 70-90 oz a day

other healing rituals/practices:

visualization and manifestation mediation

utilizing pinterest, reflecting on mood boards and goals

dance or expressive movement

detox baths

declutter your space or your closet

****

phase three: The Ovulation Phase (days: 14-16) / "Summer" / Full Moon

energy level: highest

physical symptoms: increased libido, cervical mucus changes (clear & stretchy), mild to intense cramping to help release the egg

emotional symptoms: increased confidence, more sociable, higher libido

hormonal changes: luteinizing hormone (produced by the pituitary gland) surge triggers ovulation, high estrogen, brief rise in testosterone.

fertility: likely to become pregnant

spiritual meaning: linked to the peak of summer and the full moon. this period of the menstrual cycle represents abundance, fertility and connection.

themes: creation, fertility, peak power, connection to others and potential

focus: magnetism

activities: socialize, connect with others, preform rituals focused on abundance and fertility and gratitude, celebrate met goals, launch ideas, host events, express creativity.

fitness focus: high intensity & stamina ( high intensity interval training, circuit training, cardio, weight training/lifting, and group sports

hormonal context & hormone supportive foods:

raw fruits and vegetables for hydration and antioxidants

zinc-rich foods for egg health and hormone regulation: pumpkin seeds, beef, oysters

fiber-rich foods: leafy greens, chia, flax

liver supporting foods: beets, lemon water, artichokes

lean proteins: turkey, eggs, tofu

broccoli

cauliflower

kale

cabbage

nuts

avocados

(avoid too much sodium because it can increase bloating, fried/greasy foods, cold foods if you're experiencing cramping, excess sugar)

teas & herbal support:

raspberry leaf tea- tones the uterus and helps with estrogen support

spearmint tea- can help ease bloating

dandelion root tea: liver support

ginger and turmeric tea: anti-inflammatory and hormone balancing

hydration:

thirst level: neutral to moderate

water intake: 80-100 oz a day

***coconut water and electrolytes are good to introduce here***

other healing rituals/practices:

mirror work and embodiment practice

beauty ritual (wearing makeup, jewelry, styling clothing, experiencing luxury)

exuding confidence, receiving compliments

connect with women, people, and romantic partners

celebrate the body

****

phase four: luteal Phase (days: 16-28) / "Autumn" / Waning Moon

energy level: lower

physical symptoms: bloating, mood swings, breast tenderness, fatigue, increased appetite, acne, irritability (PMS and PMDD symptoms). PMS symptoms can appear due to hormonal decline and inflammation

emotional symptoms: irritability, mood swings, anxiety, sensitivity, depression, craving comfort, need for solitude

hormonal changes: high progesterone, estrogen decreases, hormone levels drop if pregnancy occurs

fertility: potentially pregnant

spiritual meaning: a time reserved for slowing down, turning inwards, preparing for rest. a phase of reflection, harvesting lessons, and preparing of the menstrual cycle.

themes: harvest, reflection, inner work, slowing down, transformation

focus: nurture and rest

activities: grounding practices, journaling, yoga, shadow work, meditation

fitness focus: moderate to low intensity, yoga, light cardio like walking, light strength training

hormonal context & hormone supportive foods:

complex carbs: quinoa, oats, sweet potato (to curb cravings and support serotonin)

magnesium-rich foods: leafy greens, pumpkin seeds, dark chocolate

vitamin B6: bananas, salmon, and sunflower seeds

warm cooked food to support digestion and grounding

(avoid excess sugar, processed foods and trans fats, caffeine because it can worsen anxiety and breast tenderness, cold/raw foods)

teas & herbal support:

raspberry leaf tea- tones the uterus and helps with estrogen support

chamomile- calming and anti-inflammatory

peppermint and ginger- for bloating cramps

ashwagandha or reishi for hormone balance and stress

hydration:

thirst level: moderate (but will increase in coming days towards period)

water intake: 90-110 oz a day

other healing rituals/practices:

castor oil packs

womb massages

limiting social exposure and prioritizing alone time

gratitude journaling and gentle emotional processing

preparing for your period with intention

****

if you're interested in phases of the menstrual cycle and the roles of divine feminine and masculine during that time click here.

here’s my cinnamon tea reccomendation!! I adore this tea, it’s very potent, smells beautiful and can be dranken without sugar or any types of additives but it’s caffeinated so drink it in the morning! I also really love the period tracker app Stardust!

#divine feminine #cycle syncing #self love #spirituality #health #wellness #habits

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thezombieprostitute · 1 year ago

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Dream Come True - Part 4

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, femme. No other descriptors used.

Word Count: ~2000. I think this is my longest chapter.

Warnings: Bullying, Fat shaming, Insecure reader, Violence mentioned and referenced but not written. Please let me know if I missed any!

Series Masterlist

Part 3 -- Part 5

It figured. You had an interview in an hour and now Curtis had time to talk to you. You could probably catch a cab and still arrive on time, so long as you kept this conversation short.

As soon as he walked into the cyber cafe (your second home at this point) you stood up and got his attention. He looked a little surprised to see you standing but you remembered every time he's seen you so far it was in a hospital bed. It's been a few weeks and your leg was still stiff but you were diligent in your physical therapy and healing well.

He walked over to you, accompanied by someone you didn't recognize. As soon as he got close enough you directed him to the office in the back, "Jefferson gave me permission to use his office for this discussion." Curtis nodded and the three of you went into the room, closing the door behind you.

"Hello," you reach a hand towards the stranger, "I'm Y/N. I don't think we've been introduced."

"Mace," he shakes your hand with a smile. "We've never met but I have heard a lot about you."

"It's nice to meet you," you return the smile. Looking at Curtis you continue, "we need to talk about either my schedule or Hal's, Sir."

Curtis gestures to the chairs and you all take a seat.

You start, "I understand that there are a lot of things you can't account for in your scheduling but Hal has had to cancel every session I've tried to have with him. And if I'm not tutoring, I'm not getting paid."

"We can put you on retainer," Curtis started.

You interrupted him with a scoff. "I'm not getting paid to do nothing, Sir. What's more, this is hurting Hal. He wants to learn but your chaotic scheduling is preventing that. Do you know how discouraging that can be? To finally have a resource but never be allowed to use it?"

Curtis sighs and looks at Mace, "do you think we can figure out a consistent time?"

"It'll take some work," he replies. "And, as the lady points out, there are things we can't plan for. But it should be possible."

Curtis looks at you, questioningly and you nod your head, "thank you both. This has been very frustrating for me and Hal so I really appreciate it."

"Eh," Mace replies, "what's a little more work?"

"Well I don't mean to cut into your time off with this, Sirs," your tone apologetic.

"We don't do time off," Curtis cuts in.

"What? Why not," you demand. "Time off is important for physical and mental health."

"We have to show our people that we're not asking them to do anything we wouldn't do ourselves," Curtis replied calmly.

"That's bullshit," you exclaim. "No wonder everyone's schedules are so hectic! You're all too exhausted and worn out to think straight!"

"We've been doing this for years," Curtis angrily interjects. "It's clearly been working."

"If you, Hal and Jake are any indication it's only working because of an ungodly amount of caffeine and luck," you retort. "You either need to get some more people or start scheduling R&R for you and your employees, Sir."

You're so focused on Curtis that you don't see Mace smiling, clearly trying not to laugh. Curtis's eyes soften a bit and he nods in concession.

"Thank you." You check your watch, "now if you'll excuse me, I have an interview to get to."

"What?" Curtis looked shocked. You almost think you saw some hurt in his eyes.

"My work for you will always get highest priority, Sir," you assure. "But it's very part-time work, that you’ve been unintentionally sabotaging and keeping very part-time. And that overly generous back pay won't last forever. So I'm looking at getting another income."

"Do you need a ride to the interview," Mace offers.

"No, but thank you," you reply. "The Wilford & Gilliam Trust building isn't too far and I can afford a cab."

Both men froze at your words as you got up and tried to leave. Curtis quickly blocked your access to the door and nearly growled, "you're not going to that interview."

"Excuse you?" Your eyes widen in surprise. "I've already told you that my work for you will get top priority and that I need the income, Sir. Now please move. I don't want to be late."

"You're not working for Wilford & Gilliam," Curtis barked. "You need another income? Fine. I'll find you another job. But you're not working for them."

"It's just a part-time, data entry kind of job," you retort. "And it's consistent, reliable work."

"They're horrible people who fund even worse people," Curtis scowled. "I know you like your data to back up these kinds of things but I can't tell you how I know."

You scan Curtis's face, take aback at the intensity of his conviction. There is no room for doubt that he believes in what he's saying. "Okay, Sir," you concede. "You've yet to do wrong by me so I'll trust you. I will still look for a second job, in case you can't find me one, but it will not be with them."

Satisfied with your answer Curtis let's you leave. As soon as you're out the office door he sees the grin on Mace's face. He gives him a questioning look but before Mace can say anything they hear you exclaim, "Mr. Drysdale?!"

Both men rush out to the main cafe and see Ransom looking uncharacteristically repentant.

"Y/N," Ransom gulped, "come back to work for me. Please."

"No," you responded before trying to walk around him.

Ransom blocks your path, "please! I...I made a mistake and I would like to make it up to you."

"No," you repeat, patience wearing thin.

"I'll double your pay, please!"

"Hire someone else!"

"I'VE TRIED," he shouts. "Their work doesn't get me through writer's block like yours did. Their research is all dry facts that are hard to absorb. You wrote in such a way that it was easy for me to figure out how to write it into the story. So PLEASE come back to work for me!"

"Do you know why I requested remote work, Mr. Drysdale?" He shakes his head, not used to the iciness in your voice. "I heard you complaining about me to your grandfather, the one who made you hire me. You never had a problem with my work but you still insisted he let you fire me so you could get a pretty assistant. One who was, to use your words, preferably fresh out of college. Because how could you be expected to write when you had to look at ugly, fat ass instead of a beautiful muse?"

Ransom at least had the decency to look ashamed but you didn't relent.

"So I worked remotely, making sure you wouldn't have to see me and I wouldn't have to put up with your looks of disgust. And then, when I got hurt, you cut me loose. So, no, Mr. Drysdale, I will not be working for you ever again. I prefer a reliable employer who appreciates my work."

You try to walk past him but he puts an arm out to stop you. Before you can react to the arm, Curtis has pulled Ransom away, gripping him by the front of his sweater. You don't want to cry in front of everyone so you keep walking, set on going home.

As soon as you're out the door Curtis snarls, "you do not treat any of my employees like that." Before Ransom can reply Curtis punches him in the face and he falls to the floor. Curtis glances at Mace who responds with a nod, promising he'll see to the witnesses, before he lets himself run after you.

Thankfully it was an off time of day and the sidewalks were mostly empty. He spotted you right away and quickly went after you. He caught up to you but the tears in your eyes made him stop in his tracks.

“Y/N,” he asked. “You gonna be okay?”

“Eventually, Sir,” you reply, still walking. “He’s not the first asshole I’ve had to deal with and he won’t be the last.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I should’ve stepped in sooner.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, actually. He needs to know I’m serious and that I’m strong enough to not need him. If you had stepped in before I was done talking, he’d think he could still get to me by going around you. This way I got to be the one shutting him out, giving him no room to think he could worm around.”

“That’s fair. I was incredibly impressed with how you handled him.”

“Like I said, not the first asshole to put my looks ahead of my worth.”

“Your prettiness is definitely a bonus to your good work,” he says before he can stop himself.

You stop and look at him, an angry expression and fresh tears on your face. “Don’t, Sir. Just don’t. I’m not interested in your pity.”

“I’m not…” Curtis stops himself. He’s clearly not saying the right things and doesn’t want to hurt you further. “I’m sorry.”

You nod and continue the trek to your apartment. He silently accompanies you. You’re hurt and he can’t fix it. If anything, he’d likely just make it worse. He never wanted to see tears in your eyes but being the cause of a fresh wave of them made him hurt in ways he never knew he could.

“This is my building, Sir,” you interrupt his thoughts. “Thank you for walking me home and making sure I’m okay.” He nods, still afraid to say or do anything else, and you walk into your building, leaving him on the sidewalk. Part of him wants to follow after but he’s not sure he’d be able to actually do anything. Best if he just gets lost in his work. That’s always helped him before.

As he turns to walk back to the cybercafe, he sees Mace in their work van, parked on the curb. He moves into the passenger seat and sighs. As Mace drives away, Curtis says, “okay, we’ve gotta rework a few schedules.”

Mace chuckles, “if I’d known all it would take to get you to relent was a pretty face with a fiery spirit-”

“Don’t,” Curtis interrupts.

“I’m just saying,” Mace bantered. “I’ve been telling you for a long while now that we need to give the guys a better work environment or they’ll burnout and make stupid mistakes. She makes one comment about how it affects her and you’re singing a different tune.”

“That’s not what happened.”

“I was there, Curtis. I saw it all happen.”

Curtis remained silent.

“I can’t say I blame you, though. She’s got some serious-”

“ENOUGH,” Curtis ordered. “Let’s just get to thinking about some more work for her.”

Mace took a calculating look at Curtis, “how about we have work with Colin and Mickey? They could use someone responsible to act as their manager. We could get better info from their VIP section if at least one person was sober. And you know they’d make her feel…appreciated.”

“No,” Curtis barked. “They’re idiots who would get her in trouble. I also don’t want her anywhere near the drug monitoring operations. If one of Rumlow’s goons pushes something on her…”

“Okay,” Mace interrupted. “How about Lee or Barber? She’d be pretty safe with them.”

“No. She’s too curious. Lee and Barber have information about us and I don’t want her to go snooping and suddenly be liable for our mistakes.”

“You’re intent on keeping her in the dark? She’s clearly smart enough to know there’s more to all of what we do.”

“But she has no specifics. No details. She can still claim ignorance and that’s how I want it.”

“Not sure how plausible an idea that’s gonna be. Especially when you two start dating.” Mace smiles a little when he hears Curtis’s warning grunt.

“That’s not going to happen,” Curtis vows. “We’ll figure out something.”

“Whatever you say, Boss.”

Part 3 -- Part 5

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@texmexdarling

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

#Curtis Everett x plus size!reader #curtis everett x reader #mob!curtis everett #mafia!curtis everett #Curtis Everett x female!reader

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ingravinoveritas · 2 years ago

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So for those who haven't seen, AL posted a new Insta story earlier today featuring video of Michael. I subsequently saw this post in the tags and felt like I needed to write something about it:

What obviously stood out and angered me about this was the "chunky Welsh salt-and-pepper boyfriend" in the caption. This seems to be the latest in a line of recent instances of people commenting on Michael's weight/fat-shaming him. The difference in this case, however, is that the post above is directly tied to AL's Insta story. Here is a screenshot of the story, for those who haven't seen it (the full video is linked above):

And what stood out to me here is AL's caption of "Can't take him anywhere," followed by the "You're welcome" (suggesting that we are all supposed to fall over ourselves to thank her for posting video of Michael). Given that the video shows him playing with Lyra in a toy store, this would have been a perfect opportunity for Anna to write a caption about Michael being a great dad, or how much he adores his daughter.

Instead, however, the caption/video is all about Anna, and once again plays up the disingenuous "long-suffering partner of a bumbling man" schtick, which is what many of her Insta stories about Michael have been recently. So when you look at the Tumblr post above, you start to get a feeling for the vibe that her posts/stories are putting out. That if it's okay for AL to make comments about his appearance (as we know she has done for the last several years), then others feel no compunction about doing it, too.

There are plenty of ways to interpret all this, but to me, and especially looking at everything cumulatively, none of this speaks highly to the state of their relationship. The "can't take him anywhere" is another example of AL using an Insta story to insult Michael, to convey that--despite the fact that he is literally very sweetly playing with their daughter--she is embarrassed to be seen with him. When you look at the Tumblr post next to AL's Insta story, you can tell what people are picking up on, which means that these posts and stories are not bringing out the best in her, him, or their relationship.

Again, this is all my own opinion and thoughts, but I think it bears repeating that if someone made a Tumblr post like the one above about Anna, or commented on her weight gain/loss, people would be losing their minds. I'm tired of comments like those and hers getting a free pass because Michael is a man. I'm tired of her making him out to be a ridiculous buffoon who she "has to put up with." And I'm really tired of her thinking his fans don't or won't care as long as she provides new content. Because even though this might just be me, I'd rather have no new content of Michael at all than content where his own girlfriend is repeatedly putting him down...

#michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #also friendly reminder that he nearly left Twitter when Rachel McAdams' fans made fun of him when they were dating #and said she was too good for him #echoes of 'she's Barbie and he's just Ken'#i can't even with this nonsense #as i've said before and will again #'d rather look like a 'bad' fan and talk about the reality of the situation #than look like a 'good' fan by ignoring it #i just hope Michael knows he is lovely #and deserves good things #fandom woes #anna lundberg #thoughts #discourse

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palaceofpassion · 2 years ago

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Onlyhunters Ch. 2

God damn this site change! Anyways chapter 2.

“Alright! Well, so far the day’s been going well. My partner isn't around, since she had a big thing to get done in… somewhere…” Jaune had to correct himself before disclosing any information about who he was, and that his partner was Pyrrha. It did suck that she wasn’t able to be here for his first stream, but she had important things she had to get done. And when he told her he could wait, she was insistent that he should do it without her.

He knew that it was her way of helping him, because he couldn't be reliant on her for every little thing. And he was grateful for that, but he was still nervous, especially because he wasn’t exactly confident in himself. To make matters worse…

His eyes descended the screen, falling down upon the viewer numbers. There was only one, and he wasn’t convinced it wasn’t a bot. He couldn’t see the name because it was a guest, so he had no idea if they were real or not. Regardless, he would keep trying, because he wanted to do this too. He wanted to get out of his shell, and he knew that Ren and Pyr believed in him, so it was the least he could do.

“I owe her a lot, you know?” He smiled, wistfully thinking about the times that Pyrrha was there for him. “I wouldn’t be around without her, literally!” He suddenly displayed a brief bout of excitement. Despite not really having a viewer to watch him, he couldn’t help but get into the details of what brought him joy.

“And then there are my teammates and friends, they’re all great.” He was going to go on a tangent, whether he liked it or not. It was just how things went for him. His chest rose and fell briefly in a happy sigh, his eyes closing as he thought about the things around him for a moment. “I’m the luckiest guy alive honestly, I don’t think that I would have been half as happy if I just stayed home. Sure my sisters were great and S-... and my eldest is the best… but still.”

He had to ponder, how would life have been had he not chosen to come here? Would he have been happy? Probably. Would have wondered what would have happened? What he would have missed? He downright knew that he would.

“Just the other day N-... uh… Pink, let’s go with that yeah… Pink. She has this thing for pancakes, and she was going on and on about wanting to try these new ones out. But when we got to the store she wanted us to do, they were closed.” He sighed, remembering the other day like it was yesterday, “It was sad, seeing the dejected look on her face, so… Green and I, we ended up going to the store and getting the ingredients ourselves. We had a huge breakfast that morning… though I guess by that time it was already lunch. Our friends from across the hall ended up joining us.”

The smile on his face practically lit the room better than his own lights. “Honestly, I’d be so lost without them all in my life.” Slowly he leaned forward, placing his head on his desk as he watched his empty stream… for a brief moment he closed his eyes, releasing a tired sigh. “Why am I even doing this?” It was a struggling, and honest question.

Yet as he was about to give up, a soft Bleep caught his attention.

Rusted Queen has joined the chat.

In the room to his right, the young voluptuous sniper from Team BRNZ was currently busy with her crowded stream. Her one good eye watching the numbers go up as various members continued to send her money. And all she had to do was wrap her uselessly fat tits around a thick hard dildo she’d been sent by one of her favorite viewers. Though, her eye narrowed as she noted that BRONZEDBEAUTY was currently missing from her stream.

It was a shame too, she was hoping that she’d be able to show the viewer her new outfit… but that would have to wait for later she supposed. Maybe she’d create a private showing for her? After all she was the one who funded her the most, and was the first person to truly believe in her. It was the least she could do for her trusted viewer!

Her features brightened as she watched her viewers lose their mind as the thick hard dildo before her began to spray a white creamy coating all over her caramel colored figure. Her massive tits did wonders to hide the large yellow colored shaft, a specific color that BRONZED has an affinity for, or so she was told.

She could feel it pulse beneath her as the mechanism to release it’s faux semen aggressively over her body was released. Thankfully the cream that came out was just that, a sweet tasting confectionary that was safe to eat and swallow. So swallow and savor it she did. She leaned forward, flipping the bottom of her mask over as she wrapped her soft, plush lips around the tip and began to drink.

DING DING DING DING

She heard the sounds continue. Though one name continued to catch her attention. SOUTHERNLASS. It was a silly simple name, but one that held a particular meaning to her. Why? Because it belonged to one of her four bullies, Gwen Darcy. Of course, the only reason she knew was because of the one time that Gwen had forced May to do her homework for her. She’d caught a glimpse at the simplistic name, and had since then kept it to heart.

Shaking her head she tried to ignore it, now focusing back on the tasty meal pouring directly into her throat. “Mmnn~” She moaned seductively, letting her high grade camera catch every little detail. From the way she shifted her breasts forward, front and foremost, to the way her throat bulged and conformed as she swallowed in thick goopy globs.

Even as she continued to suck down the tip, the momentum of her heavy, fat, massive orbs continued to coax the thick gooey substance outwards and upwards. Her arms outstretched, tightly wrapped around her unusually large breasts, squeezing together to mold the shape around her.

Even as she continued to enjoy the flavors, she had to wonder where such a shapely figure came from… the veins were far too… specific for it to be anything short of a mold. Whoever this was from was very gifted and the shape just so perfectly hit all of her spots too. Would it be overstepping to ask her favorite viewer?

Though the curiosity was getting to her, she had a show to continue putting on. Pulling her head back with a loud pop and a throaty, “Muwah~” She made sure to divert attention from her face as she recovered her lips, letting the last remaining remnants of the creamy filling sputter all over her moca colored breasts, creating a vanilla colored glaze over those massive mountains of hers.

She could feel the crowd’s eyes on her, their gazes devouring her. And in that short amount of time, she remembered just how much she loved doing this. She wasn’t the shy, forgettable, loser. She wasn't the bullied little May Zedong right now. No, right now she was WALLFLOWERSNIPER, and she was confident, sexy, and alluring to those around her..

And by the brothers did she love that feeling. “Well~ I think that’s enough for tonight’s show everyone.” She gave them a wink with her good eye, and a quick kiss from behind the veil. “I hope you all sleep well, hopefully nice and pleasantly empty after my show~♥”

With one last wave, and a quick tug of her breasts, freeing the massive sculpture wedged between them. She turned off the stream, closing her camera and falling back on her bed.

Beads of sweat rolled down her curves, from her chin to her belly, and under her breasts. A smile spread across her lips as she felt another job well done. “Well… t-that was n-nice…” Her stuttering tone returning once more that she was no longer the hot streamer she pictured herself as.

“Now… w-whose streaming?”

As much of a fan as she was of being a star, she was also a fan of finding others exploring themselves… though interestingly enough, one name caught her attention. A person with only two viewers… “What’s t-this?”

Now in the room to the left of Jaune’s, Ren was currently busy showing off for his fanbase. A hefty crowd of several thousand people watched with lust and careful intent. For before them was the most popular LOVINGLOTUS.

“Hello my cuties~” He gave them a quick wink, his pink gloved hand extending forward, palm up and one finger pointed at the screen. “I hope you’ve been entertained so far?” He queried the crowd, watching the chat go wild as he gave his hips a quick left and right sway. His feminine figure gently shifted back and forth with a hypnotic roll. He could feel all their eyes on him, the individuals that lived to watch him explore his femininity, the ones that violated him with their gazes.

A quick shiver ran through his body, delighted by the prospects of what they wanted to do to him, but couldn’t. He wondered if he’d developed a small bit of sadism through all of this.

GOLDENDRAGON has donated 100 Lien: “Please please! Slap your ass for us!”

His mask hid a twisted smile as he watched the money come in, knowing full well that it was Yang who had donated to him. His boisterous friend had been a rather avid follower of his from the start.

BIGBADCARDINAL Has donated 200 Lien: “DO IT DO IT!”

That one was Cardin. He never would have guessed that he was into femboys… though maybe his interest in Jaune was a little more than bullying? The thought passed through his mind briefly before another donation came through.

FLAMINGFALL Has donated 300 Lien: “I also request that you slap your posterior… as well as rub your oily body… please?”

“Well you’re all in quite a specific mood today aren't you?” He knew his audience well enough, knew that they weren’t always horny to watch him touch himself, or masturbate in front of him. Sometimes they just wanted something simple. So he decided to give them just what they wanted, and a little more~

With a flurry and a shay, he twirled around, letting his big fat ass jiggle before the camera. His body was barely covered by a thin pink colored bikini that could only be described as string.

HIs mask appeared to be more of a veil than a full on mask, giving small glimpses beneath whenever he moved about. “What do you think?” He asked, running his hand over his voluptuous curves, his bottom glistening from the baby oil he’d applied just moments ago. “Isn’t it nice and big?” SMACK His right hand struck down, causing the balls of fat to jiggle for his viewership.

GOLDENDRAGON: “YES! YES YES! I want to smack it sooooo baddddly!”

BIGBADCARDINAL: “You have to give me your digits! I’ll show you the best dicking of your life baby!!!!”

FLAMINGFALL: “Mmmn~ That’s my boy.”

He could feel their hungry eyes upon them, his thirsty little viewers that desired more and more of his delicate touch. The thought of them violating him with their gazes sent chills up his spine, his arm was lined with small little goosebumps as he found himself thirsting for more of their attention.

“Well~ There was something I wanted to show all of you.” He waited not for their response, instead bending over, revealing the soft pink bud hidden behind the thin string, only to shift his ass around giving a little show while he searched for something.

That something would prove to be quite the heinous creature! For anyone who had just tuned in from WALLFLOWERSNIPER’s stream, they would have recognized the beastly accessory. It was a gift from Pyrrha, a treasured little item that was based and molded from a certain friend's specific cock. Looking at the beastly thing sent shutters through his body. Imagining the real thing in his hands, feeling the heat of his leader’s pulse between his fingers, it delighted him to no end.

Oh if only he hadn’t promised Pyrrha to let her go first, he could have been enjoying the real thing.

He closed his eyes as he put the item down on the floor for everyone to see. His chat went wild as they queried him for what he was going to do with that thing. His response was a simple finger before his lips as he gave a quick hushing motion.

Then, he took one step forward, and poised himself above the beast. Despite it’s silicone exterior, he swore he could feel the heat, his heat off of it. His body shivered with anticipation as he tried to control his breathing. His heart throbbed painfully within his chest as he lowered himself. Though lubricated as it was, he found the tightness of his boy-pussy to be so firm, that the faux cock had trouble squeezing in. “Nnggh~ It’s soooo biiiiigg~~~~♥”

The femininity and whorishness to his voice was enough to cause his chat to go wild, donation after donation began to go through as he slowly descended deeper down the thick hard rod. He could feel it violating his belly, spreading his tight, unprepared hole apart until finally, after a few minutes of gentle but insistent work, he managed to stuff the entirety in.

“OooOhhhh wooooowwwwW~~~” He was at a loss for words, his eyes widening, legs shaking, all from the simple realization that his belly had distorted. It was easy enough for his viewers to see it too, the way his belly extended outwards where the beastly rod pushed up against his belly. “Its schoooo hyuuuuge~~”

Despite his lack of shame, he couldn’t believe that he’d managed to get something so massive inside himself. Even he was shocked by how much it filled it, “I’sh can feel it in my belly♥”

He was practically cock drunk from this little activity, though perhaps the majority of the sensation was coming from his imagination. Oooh he wanted to give this thing a real test run, but he had to stop himself, his cute, womanly cock twitched beneath the fabric that held it tightly close to his sternum. He swallowed the knot that formed in his throat as he tried to pull himself off. “Ooh~ I may have made a mistake~ Sorry chat, buuuut I think I’m going to have to call it quits~”

He noted the few awws and boos, but as usual they understood. Especially with how shaky he was, it was obvious that he wasn’t able to stand firm on his own. On the verge of losing his mind, he gave his fans one last wave before using his toes to turn the stream off. It was only when he made sure that they were completely off screen that Ren suddenly lost all strength in his legs and fell back down.

The rift that shot through his body as the Jaune shaped dildo smashed right into his most sensitive parts, was tremendous. He felt everything within him completely collapse as he nearly lost his mind. “Nggggh♥!” He cried out, feeling the sudden release of cum soiling his bikini. “OoooOoghooodsJauuneeee~” He cried out with a pitiful squeal.

His chest fell and rose as he tried to inhale as much air as he could. His eyes slowly glazing over with his attention falling on the screen once more. Weakly he leaned forward, a specific curiosity coursing through him, the silicone sausage still stuck within him.

“I…I wonder how he...he’s doing…”

To his surprise, Jaune was still streaming, with three viewers even! That… was a surprise, but a welcome one! The first ten followers were notoriously difficult to gain on the crowded platform, it was difficult to get noticed and people could spend days or even weeks streaming to no one. He wondered what Jaune must have been doing to keep that number up.

“Well- I know that sometimes talking doesn’t always get things through, especially with people who are as hard headed as me.” Jaune found himself oddly embarrassed that his focus had been with one specific person, who happened to just randomly join. “But if your teammate is giving you that much trouble, maybe trying being more straight with her, just as direct as you can be so there's no chance for any confusion about how her actions make you feel? I know teasing can be… rough, I have plenty of sisters, so let me tell you. But finding what you find attractive or doing what you want to do is up to you.”

Rusted Queen: “Thank you! I’ve been telling Y- my roommate, that I don’t need to visit these sites… even if I am feeling lonely… and my boy-... nevermind I’m sorry that I keep bringing that up.”

Jaune simply shook his head, “No it’s alright… I uh… well a secret between the two of us?” He hadn’t noticed the other viewers yet, and had almost forgotten about the original hidden guest, “When I was younger, I was the town backup.” He sighed, scratching the back of his neck, “Whenever someone had a breakup, they’d often use me as a way to bound back, but only for a little while… I didn’t realize it at first. And S-... my sister got mad when she found out, and told me what was happening. I guess… that and my dad’s advice are why I’m really bad with social cues when it comes to girls.” He also hummed, “Also probably having as many sisters as I did didn’t help… you’d think it would, but you kind of become desensitized to… quite a few things…” He shook his head turning back to her.

“But I think it’s fine to take things slow. It doesn’t matter that it’s been a week already, you should take things at your own pace.”

Rusted Queen is Typing…

He wondered what it was she was trying to get out, the delay was killing him with anticipation.

Rusted Queen: “Thank you Vale… I’m glad I showed up… I suppose I should tip you.”

Jaune simply shook his head, “I uh, don’t think I’ve done anything to warrant that. Ya know, nothing sexy.” He laughed, passing it off, just giving advice, most of it that he’s parroted off from better people, was free as far as he was concerned.

Rusted Queen is Typing…

Rusted Queen: “Well… I… may have a request then?”

Rusted Queen is Typing…

Rusted Queen: “If you’re comfortable of course!”

“Ah well yeah shoot, I’ll let you know.”

Rusted Queen: “Could you lift up your shirt?”

There was a brief pause before he nodded. It was a bit early to show skin, but… she had been a good viewer and…

Rusted Queen donated 300 Lien.

That… holy crap that… “Well alright then. Sorry, I don’t think I’m much to look at but…” Grabbing the hem of his shirt he tugged upwards, and instead of just showing a little, he completely peeled it off of his body, slowly, revealing a sculpted figure. Partially from training, but also from farm work that he used to do back at the Barn. His body was built in a way that was crafted through chores and hard work, and well…

Rusted Queen donated 200 Lien: “THank you! Oh wow! You’re definitely more toned than my Ex! I like!”

Now he was blushing, deep enough that not only did it trail down his neck, but also his upper torso. He couldn’t imagine things getting any-

WALLFLOWERSNIPER DONATED 300 Lien: HEARTEYEEMOJI “♥♥♥!”

His eyes widened when he realized that someone else was watching!

LOVINGLOTUS DONATED 100 Lien: “I knew that hard work was paying off~”

Now the entirety of his body was red. “I uhm I don’t… I uh… thank you! But I gotta go! See you next time!” In a flurry he tried to turn it off, only to not do it right the first time. “O…oh wow, I didn’t… I don’t look that good and… that was… I’m grateful! I didn’t know I’d have such amazing viewers. And my talk with Rusted Queen was really nice, I hope things work out for them…” He didn’t realize he was rambling too much before.

Rusted Queen: “Thank you, for the show and the talk.”

“GAH!” Now he turned it off correctly.

Somewhere deep in Vale, away from Beacon, stuck in a hotel room. A certain redhead watched with joy as her boyfriend had his first session. She of course had been his first viewer, but not wanting to spook him she’d stayed anonymous. She hadn’t expected him to gain any traction, and as far as she was concerned 4 viewers, herself included, were amazing!

She was so proud of him, and knew he was going to be a big hit eventually. Even more so when she realized that not only was Ren watching, but her favorite streamer had taken an interest. “Well… now that may be something worth looking into.”

Her eyes fell on a second scroll, one that she had been watching Wallflower’s stream on, also without logging in. “Though, I do wonder who the Rusted Queen was…” She pondered looking into it, pulling some strings and finding out… before shrugging it off. It wasn't worth doing yet and the mystery was kind of fun. At least she knew someone else had good taste out there, just like her~ “Oh Jaune, I’m so proud of you.”

#Lie Ren #Jaune Arc #May Zedong

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xc-loh · 6 days ago

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Is #BodyPositive Really Inclusive ?

(Week 3: Tumblr Case Study)

We’ve all seen the #bodypositive hashtag blowing up on social media, It’s supposed to be this awesome place where people celebrate their bodies — no matter the size, shape, or look. On Tumblr especially, before all the NSFW content got censored, people used the hashtag to share honest, real selfies and support each other.

But here’s the thing: research by Anne Reif and her team found that even in these spaces, most selfies still show mostly young, white women who kinda stick to traditional beauty poses. So, it’s not always as diverse or radical as we might hope.

The body positivity movement started as a way to challenge narrow beauty standards and make space for everyone, especially people who are often left out, like fat people or people of color. But sometimes, it feels like there’s a new kind of pressure to “love your body” in a way that’s still about how your body looks, not how you feel.

For example, Reif’s study noticed that pictures where people wear less clothing tend to get more likes and love, which could push the idea that your body still needs to look “sexy” to be accepted.

Another layer to this is Tumblr’s censorship, explored by Pilipets and Paasonen, which shows how algorithms and rules can hide or delete content that’s actually important to marginalized groups. When Tumblr was more open, the #bodypositive community could be more raw and real, but that space is shrinking.

And there’s a lot of confusion out there. Some think body positivity is about promoting obesity, but as Jennifer Palumbo wrote in Forbes, it’s really about inclusion — accepting all bodies without shame, not telling people what to eat or how to live.

So what i think is that body positivity is great but it’s not perfect. Maybe what we really need is to focus less on how our bodies look and more on what they do — a mindset some call “body neutrality”. That might be a way to actually feel good about ourselves without the pressure to perform or look a certain way.

Reference:

Reif, A., Miller, I., & Taddicken, M. (2022). “Love the Skin You‘re In”: An Analysis of Women’s Self-Presentation and User Reactions to Selfies Using the Tumblr Hashtag #bodypositive. Mass Communication & Society, 26(6), 1038–1061. https://doi.org/10.1080/15205436.2022.2138442

Pilipets, E., & Paasonen, S. (2020). Nipples, memes, and algorithmic failure: NSFW critique of Tumblr censorship. New Media & Society, 24(6), 1459–1480. https://doi.org/10.1177/1461444820979280

Palumbo, J. J. (2022b, May 12). The body positive movement encourages inclusion, not obesity. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jenniferpalumbo/2022/05/12/how-the-body-positive-movement-doesnt-encourage-obesity-but-inclusion/

#mda20009 #body positivity

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oldguardleatherdog · 2 years ago

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Today's Wall O' Text: Our lives are at stake. Fat-shaming Trump is more than OK - it's necessary.

I've been taking hits for my blog entry in response to a Facebook post by a cyber friend taking the LGBTQ+ community to task for making fun of Trump's weight after he lied during his arrest in Atlanta yesterday that he weighed 215 pounds. I posted a blistering screed here earlier today as a reaction to seeing some Facebook friends make a post shaming the community for calling Trump out on yet another lie that his credulous followers will gladly swallow whole and think it tastes like chicken.

It boggles my mind that we're indulging in self-loathing admonitions to play nice and treat Trump with human kindness while he and his tens of millions of proxies are carrying out genocide against transgender Americans and passing legislation openly designed to remove LGBTQ+ people from civil society.

I've deleted my original post and follow-up and am restating it here with settings that limit the replies and reblogs, all of which were filled with vile personal insults and invective aimed at me for committing the SJW's canon unforgivable sin of making fun of someone's appearance - even though that "someone" is directing a campaign of forced detransitioning, enforced separation, erasure of us from history and culture, and is directing efforts that have the stated intent to immiserate and end our lives.

I've been a gay activist fighting for our right to exist for nearly four decades, and I don't care if I lose goodwill or karma points or cyberfriends over this stance. That stuff is wonderful and means a great deal, I don't take it lightly, and I know this might mean thee end of the goodwill coming my way and could mess up my ability to be here and help in other ways...

but the danger we're in is greater than my concern for my gig, ego, or status, and I'll give it all up in order to give this battle everything I've got. This is my last stand after nearly 40 years of activism, marching with ACT/UP and Queer Nation in the 90s fighting against the same forces, when I'd just gone HIV positive, when my friends and loved ones were dying of cat and bird diseases, down to 80 pounds in an oxygen tent, covered with lesions, tongues eaten away by candida...

They never got the chance to marry, to see 40, to find real love, to finish their art - and some made me promise that I would go on in their name and with their spirit, to finish the art and the work and the life they weren't going to get the chance to finish (I know the trolls will say I'm lying and they can F off all the way to Hell and stay there, the nerve of them to shit on their souls and our memories of them).

I may lose a lot of cyber friends, and that's unfortunate, but I have to sleep at night.

Here's what I wrote:

To those who are telling me we shouldn't make fun of Trump's weight:

I wholeheartedly dissent.

Trump, like Reagan, is our murderer.

The current and ongoing trans genocide is his fault.

Drag bans, the continuing LGBTQ+ rights rollback, the systematic erasure of us from libraries and history and culture, the "groomerpedo" slur bombardment, pushing us into exile from our home states, legislation pending that will prohibit us from public spaces, the explicit goal of removing us from public view and civil society, Florida doctors who can refuse to treat us, forced detransition of all trans people in Florida and soon elsewhere, armed Proud Boys at drag shows, the Colorado Springs slaughter, and worse: all of this is directly Trump's doing.

And still, we're deluded enough to go high when they go low!

Attempts from within the community to muzzle ourselves in the name of some ridiculous woo-woo SJW directive, this insidious assimilationist garbage, plays right into their hands and renders us weak and impotent.

No one is going to rescue us. If you're not involved in hardcore activism RIGHT NOW, you are complicit in their efforts to kill us.

I dare you to challenge me. Make fun of the fatass bastard with gleeful abandon.

Get with the Goddamn program before it's too late.

***

I've restricted replies and additions to the main post. Feel free to sound off in the notes and reblogs, but this is where I stand on the most important issue we're contending with as a community, and I won't allow my words to be conditioned or their impact diluted.

I know my beloved mutuals will be dismayed, and I'm truly sorry because I do value you and your own well-reasoned and strong opinions and this could reasonably be regarded as an attempt to diminish or trivialize you politically, philosophically, and personally; please know that's not my intent.

As an LGBTQ+ activist for more than 37 years, who marched with ACT/UP and Queer Nation during a time that was in many ways worse than the climate of today, I have a duty and an obligation to say things clearly, bluntly, fully, with unambiguous conviction:

OUR LIVES ARE AT STAKE. PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING. WE'RE BEING DRIVEN OUT OF OUR HOMES.

THEY ARE FORCING TRANS PEOPLE TO REVERT TO THEIR ASSIGNED GENDER AT BIRTH SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY WITH BRUTAL SADISTIC GLEE, MAKING THEM WATCH THEIR BODIES DYSMORPH AND REGRESS HOUR BY HOUR.

THEY HAVE CLEARLY, PUBLICLY, AND REPEATEDLY STATED THEIR INTENT TO REMOVE US FROM SIGHT AND CIVIL SOCIETY AND THEY ARE DOING IT TO US RIGHT NOW, TODAY, AS YOU READ THIS -

- and you have the sheer unmitigated temerity, the nerve, the gall to tell me I'm wrong to encourage fat-shaming of that man, that loathsome pustulent festering open wound on our nation and our world, whose God is his belly, whose proxies and minions and TENS OF MILLIONS OF FOLLOWERS AND WORSHIPPERS IN THIS COUNTRY are in lockstep with his intent -

- you tell me I'm wrong, shamelessly and mindlessly and in open denial of what you see in front of your naive and deluded eyes, and when you do this YOU ARE TELLING ME YOU DON'T CARE, YOU THINK I'M LYING TO YOU, YOU WON'T HELP SAVE US, YOU ARE UNWILLING TO SAVE YOURSELF, and YOU ARE MAKING THE CHOICE TO JOIN HIM AND AID HIS EFFORTS TO WIPE US OUT.

Join me, or get the hell out of my sight, my life, and my community. We need you like we need AIDS - and I've had AIDS for 33 years and I tell you: you are worse than AIDS, because AIDS is a mindless and brainless and soulless and consciousless killer, a virus, but you are killing us knowing full well what you are doing.

That is all that I am going to say to you.

#join or die

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my-so-called-euphoria · 2 years ago

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the irony is before covid and the climate crisis kicked into full gear I was the neighborhood skeptic, my first incarnation of this blog (Clever Beast) was all that, a mania of skeptical pursuits but closely aligned with a healthy criticism of scientism. oh 2008. then the world went batshit, and for many people today anything scientific that doesn't perfectly align with taste got siloed out of existence. now you can mix and match realities to suit your lifestyle. it's enough to make a postmodern postdoc blush.

I still want science to be scrutinized, there's a whole lot wrong, particularly with the institutions funding it and where it doesn't go. As with anything, there are trailblazers that defy the groupthink and make revolutions, and also just solid day-to-day science being done by smart, professional, talented people. I didn't say that enough before, but jesus, in 2023, lets bang some pots and pans for these servants of stoicism.

since 2020 I have spent more and more time reading scientific papers, following scientists, absorbing minutiae of shit I didn't even know existed. I'm no scientist, and my reading is more as an information specialist, and having a lot of time to see how pieces of data interact with other pieces of data, how consensus shifts and evolves. I operate from the primary opinion that people smarter than me know what they are talking about and their consensus on issues pertaining to my health insofar as their opinions are not outright bought by corporations, have greater weight to me than say, Dr Mike's Youtube's channel. That science has a talent for weeding out the shit, although too rigorously it can lose some of the nuances, so it's sometimes necessary to integrate the scientific consensus within a larger framekwork of understanding that can take into consideration human faculties beyond reason to assess value.

The science says we're fucked. climate scientists are losing their shit, and being very unscientific with their hyperbole, and even the fucking Pope is out there dooming away, and the Pope is always twenty years behind the zeitgeist, so you got a good idea of where we are now. and Covid. We don't even know the 5 year prognosis of the disease, and people are pretending it is over. not epidemologists, immunologists, the ones that have been consistently right, over and over, as the minimizers have been trying to downplay the crisis these last three years. Their expert opinions are dire as well. It's affecting fertility, brain chemistry, diabetes, immune systems, we don't have individual all-star variants anymore, we have soups of variants, so that repeat infections are easier to get closer together. and repeat infections are increased chance of long covid, and while minimizers love pointing at deaths as some marker of progress (though awfully silent pre-vaccines) I would rather be dead then experience what some of the long haulers of covid go through, and I read about on a daily basis. At-risk. we are ALL AT-RISK. Co-morbidities... fucking professional athletes are dropping dead, and you want to fat shame us.

Everyone has a threshold for bad news. Seems like a lot of people it is magical thinking to erase it all from their minds, a pandemic ptsd, anxiety, just low tolerance for reality. Ok. Problem is we need to dig ourselves out of this, and the people that can see this clearly, are clamoring for your attention. Denial of reality will kill us all, will kill us faster. I don't know what the best approach is, I don't know how to turn this ship around, but we need to start acknowledging some basics of reality, and be civic-minded, and give a shit about each other. It was dumb but I liked the banging of pots and pans for nurses. it was the last time I felt like I was part of a society. I don't want to pretend anymore. it makes it all more depressing to me. Even a loud minority can make significant changes, it's a weird glitch in the democratic system. We just need to process reality more, being cognizant of facts, speak up when people lie, speak up when people tell the truth, disseminate information the way the media is supposed to do, vote, donate, give a shit. It's good to feel.

this is an unedited rant but you get the idea. wake up, please, wake up. we need you.

#rant #covid #climate change #climate crisis #science #long covid

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vmures · 2 years ago

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Not so Brief thoughts on insult reclamation and identity

Bullying and "othering" (treating someone as if they are so different from oneself that they are alien or monsterous) are sadly very common responses to encountering people who are perceived as different. Often that bullying will even rise to systemic abuse of entire groups of people. But it can also be very horrific abuse on a smaller scale. Taunting, verbal abuse, physical attacks, death threats, attempted (and sadly sometimes accomplished) murder. I've seen people respond to bullying in a lot of ways and have experienced some of these responses myself. One method is to shun the words they throw at you while trying to show that you aren't like that and therefore shouldn't be targeted. Another is to reclaim slurs and work on healing from the trauma of bullying and becoming comfortable in your own skin. And there is a whole lot of mix and match and reactions in between these two responses.

I think most, if not all, of us who have been bullied have used the first tactic at times, especially the trying to make ourselves less of a target--masking neurodivergence, being careful about how we present ourselves in certain social settings, etc.

But some take this technique even farther. They decide that they must be a good example of whatever different subgroup they are in and that the bullies should really target those other people who are not good. This frequently involves internalized bigotry.

For example, there was a point where I had internalized fatphobia so much that I was determined to try to be a "good" fat person, trying to eat the right food and exercise to show that I was trying to not be fat. This led to an endless spiral of shame, confusion, and guilt because no matter what I did I didn't lose weight the way the personal trainers and nutritionists thought I would. Then I got really sick and dropped a lot of weight and was absolutely unhealthy during that time. I was miserable and in pain, but people sure did seem to like me more, which was super annoying.

Eventually, I got better and as I got better I gained weight back. I was still eating healthy foods and watching my sugar then, but the weight returned anyway. So I eventually embraced the fact that my body seems to be comfortable at a size 18 (US size, and the size I've been most of my later teen and adult years. Nowadays, I focus on trying to feel less pain and being able to move better and not worry so much about the number on the scale. And truth be told I'm a lot happier and healthier both physically and mentally after shifting the way I looked at myself and my weight.

One of the things that I eventually realized is that for all that fat was (and is) used as a slur and a weapon, it's really just a descriptor of body type. I am fat. That is not a bad thing. It doesn't make me monstrous or ugly. And these days if someone calls me fat, I look at them and say "yeah, and?!" Reclaiming that particular insult did wonders for me. And you know what, so did reclaiming "freak" (a very common insult thrown at neurodivergent folks and anyone different), "geek," "nerd," "dyke," "fag" (some confused Louisiana middle-schoolers didn't realize it was usually used for gay men), "gay," "homo," and "queer." All of these were slurs thrown at me alongside physical violence and threats. There was a time I tried very hard to pass as cis and straight, but I was fucking miserable. All of the things that made up who I was were fucking slurs used to hurt me. Eventually, I hit the fuck you point of my life and reclaimed every last one of those terms. I'm currently working on reclaiming lazy. Because rest is required for a healthy life, and US culture's focus on always being productive is beyond unhealthy.

Because yes, words can fucking hurt and scar you worse than some physical violence does. They haunt you and pick at you for years after you first hear them. But part of that has to do with how much power you give those words yourself. Because far too often the one trying to weaponize the word has broadened the actual definition.

So yeah, I'm a freak, a queer, a dyke, and fat. So what? None of those things are inherently bad and those who say they are are lying to you because they do not want to see you and would rather you did not exist. So they other you and try to make you ashamed to exist. Fuck them. You get to keep on existing anyway. And isn't that the best revenge? Living your life and finding happiness where you can? And yes, it is dangerous to live as your authentic self. But that's why solidarity is so important. There is safety in numbers. Build communities with your fellow freaks, queers, fat folks, etc. See and be seen. Let people know that you are here and you are not going anywhere. Stand together and stand strong.

#v's musings #solidarity #mention of fat phobia #discussion of slurs and insult words #mention of homophobia

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cxncordia · 1 year ago

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This new wave of Queer cinema worries me a bit.

I'm talking things like Saltburn, Fellow Passengers and All of Us Strangers.

It worries me because, while beautiful to look at, it's a beautiful package wrap around one very detrimental idea: gays are not okay.

I'm gonna spoil a bit here. Ignore the list if you haven't seen any of these movies:

Saltburn is the story of Oliver, a guy that at first glance is shown that is experiencing the worst crush of his life on Felix, a beautiful English boy that he just can't have... and thus he starts this strange journey to get him, only to reveal to us that it was never Felix whom he wanted, but the Saltburn state where most of the story happens.

Fellow Passengers shows a beautiful love story of these two men who keep on being lovers through the ages and shows the audience what it means to be gay through a moment in time very difficult, because as they deal with externalized homophobia, they deal with internalized homophobia.

All of Us Strangers, while I haven't watched it, I have read that the basic idea is that Adam (Scott) is a screenwriter who runs into Harry (Mescal) who seems to make him open up and become vulnerable. And then they seem to move back to Adam's house where his parents are still living.

Now, I don't want to extrapolate over something so silly and superficial. But it worries me that these are the new "wave" of queer cinema. Because underneath it all, the basic conflict is that being gay is somehow linked to these problems of internalized shame and regret. While not explicitly villainizing homosexuality, we don't have the counterpart on the industry. We don't have homosexuals we can look up to and when we do, they are wrapped in the police and government propaganda idyllic world that serves the powers to be. (yes, I'm talking about you, Tarlos).

And yes, that's true. We gay men go through shame and regret more punctually than straight men do: because the world was not constructed for us so we have to learn to navigate the fact that we "look" the part but we "aren't" the part. We become performatic and we fill the gap between ourselves and the very large mask we use with shame.

But straight men have something we don't: an array of power fantasies at the tip of their fingers where their sexuality is not even questioned, put into consideration or a source of shame. Some other factors may be questioned, but never their sexuality. Rebel Moon comes out in December 21st and it's a testosterone-filled action movie with male actors and male characters that have not their sexuality questioned in this imaginary universe. Aquaman 2 comes out around the same time and it also features straight masculine acting men who do not have to worry about one ounce on how gay they look.

And that's the problem.

Every gay media I watch that gets to the mainstream is "woe is me and I'm gay". Even stuff that's supposed to make you feel good (Heartstopper or Smiley) has that component of internalized shame. And I get it, many of us who have come now into economic power and who are main consumers lived a time where shame was the norm.

But it's time to stop that. And also, is time to stop telling the gays that come behind us that they have to suffer this.

It's been more than 20 years since I fist watched Queer As Folk (the British version with a twink Charlie Hunnam) and we are still dealing with the same tropes, the same stories, the same ideas.

Where are the hyper-masculine gay super heroes? Or even better yet: the fat and femme gay super heroes?

The romantic and endearing fantasy princes looking for their own prince?

The fantasy hero based on the monomyth who faces his father as a representation of the Patriarchy that has stomped on him?

Where are they?

I'm just... tired.

Tired that in 20 something years we still have the same shit and we don't seem to move beyond Queer as Folk and Brokeback Mountain type of stories. And when we do present something new they are bogged down and ignored in the corporate shitty streaming world that only cares about how much money it can pull out from our pockets. Like that supernatural show (Astrid and Lily Save the World) with two plus size lesbian main characters.

I mean, it's amazing to see Andrew Scott get it going with Paul Mescal, and to see Jonathan Bailey suck Matt Bomer's toes is a first... but I need something more. Something different. Something were the character's sexuality isn't questioned or a source of shame, but a worthy, proud, and unapologetic trait of the main character who also has fun in the movie.

I want joyful gay stories that celebrate my sexuality. I want simple gay stories. I want happy gays.

Isn't that what the term is supposed to mean in the first place?

#the dean had spoken

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wanderinglotus7 · 1 year ago

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I appreciated reading this book. Another book about feminism, yet with a Black perspective. Not only a Black perspective, but from a voice of someone who identifies as a Fat Black Queer Woman. I don’t necessarily identify myself in that way, but I loved how this author spoke true on how she navigates in this world. Speaking the truth in acknowledging and embodying our intersectionality. Who knew there is such a thing called Trap feminism. If trap feminism means I can be me without giving 2 f**ks of what others think of me…sign me up!

I am a Christian Black Feminist Demisexual Woman who is intelligent, independent, compassionate, and adventurous who is also a counselor, a storyteller, an advocate, a prayer warrior, and a bookworm who loves her music and probably the realest person you’ll ever meet.

HERE ARE MY TAKEAWAYS:

“Generally speaking, Black people do have a higher tolerance for body fat on feminine bodies than other groups do. But thick and fat are not the same thing. White beauty norms will always find themselves a seat at the table, even ours, and that includes vicious fat phobia.”

“For those of us who are most marginalized, beauty actually becomes a tool that can be used to defend ourselves against racism, sexism, transphobia, classism, etc.”

“Multiple studies have concluded that Black women and girls have higher rates of self-esteem and confidence than other female groups. Confidence is waiting on the other side of choosing to keep it real with yourself, choosing to heal some shit, choosing to humble yourself.”

“Maintaining your standards means saying no to people, places, and things that don’t serve you.”

“Economic mobility is a bit of a myth in that it’s often dangled in front of Black folks as the key to a better life, but without context, nuance, or a blueprint.”

“Our bodies are heavily surveilled and our behaviors unfairly policed out of fear that we will misuse our sexuality. We’re expected to protect ourselves from abusers, and it’s us who are held accountable when we are abused. We’re denied the right to innocence before we’re old enough to know what it means.”

“Our own internalized anti-Blackness has led us to believe that Black excellence comes only in the form of heterosexual marriage, kids, and wealth building. Because our survival as Black folks in Westernized culture often depends on our ability and willingness to succeed under these moral codes, we’ve embraced those heteronormative, binary rules and incorrectly processed them as part of some natural order.”

“ The reasons and methods used to shame Black women for their choices in sex, dating, and relationships are endless. Black women can no longer afford to be martyrs, healers, parents, or scapegoats in our relationships. I’M NOT A THERAPIST, A BUSINESS MENTOR, A LIFE COACH, OR A CRISIS MANAGER. I AM NOT TAKING ON ANY OF THOSE ROLES TO DATE SOMEONE. I WANT A LOVER, NOT A JOB.”

“Friendship is how you get really good practice in empathy, healthy conflict resolution, and to build and be in community. It’s how you learn to appreciate community so that you’re not headed into your other relationships expecting one person to be your everything.”

#life lessons #black feminism #lgbtq community #confidence #booklover #bookstagram #grown and sexy #strong women #wisdom #black authors

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femmefatalevibe · 2 years ago

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Hello gorgeous person,

Thank you very much for all your advices, your time and energy. It's rare to find a woman sharing with so much generosity her "woman's tips". Like it's always a secret or something, so thank you :).

However I feel sometimes a little bit sad because I sometimes not recognize myself through the pictures you're sharing. They are beautiful ofc. But as a curvy woman with bulge, cellulite and an unconventional body, sometimes I feel like I'm not able to aim the "femme fatale vibe"... I say this without any hatred, I'm just wondering :

- do you have any recommendation to feel powerful, sexy and mysterious with my extra weight ?

- I'm thinking of Ashley Graham who is stunning but i feel like she's an exception...

- how can I BE confident with my body and other gaze's ? (for e.g. my buttom is pretty flat but I have curves so I don't know how to conciliate both. I find it incompatible)

- an other example are kids saying to me that my head doesn't fit my body 🙃 my father told me that I'm really fat but beautiful.. So it's hard to handle.

I gain a lot of weight these last years due to a very complicated relationship, and a burn-out. So now I'm moving on from the guy and I will try to accept myself and make the efforts I have to do, but meanwhile I hope you can help me to accept myself the way I'm curvy am, and to be alluring anyways.

I must confess that it wasn't easy to contact you, but I think about it for a while now.

Thank you very much, and sorry if there are some mistakes, I'm absolutely not an English speaker !

Thank you very very much for everything.

Hi love! Thank you for your kind message and support. It truly means a lot <3. I'm so glad to hear this sentiment about my blog – I believe that we as women are conditioned to secrecy both as a way to shame our womanhood and, more covertly, to keep these "secrets" to ourselves, so we are more "sought-after" in the "competition" to be "chosen" by a man. This underlying secrecy and one-upping culture we're conditioned to buy into as women reeks of the patriarchy, so I'm more than happy to play in dismantling this toxic societial mentality. There's plenty of self-confidence and success to go around for all of us in my book!

I totally get your sentiment. The inspiration I reshare here is just that – inspiration for things to admire and tailor to our unique preferences, lifestyles, bodies, environments, etc. if we so choose to. I believe that we all can embody the "femme fatale" aesthetic – by dressing and putting ourselves together in a way that makes us feel our best /most taken care of, exploring and sharing all of the amazing ways we can derive pleasure from our bodies (through fashion, health & wellness practices, healthy lifestyle choices, sexual pleasure, etc.).

I think that these are some helpful tips to feel more powerful and sexy at any size:

Learn how to dress for your body and tailor it to your personal style – consider whether you have a longer or shorter torso/legs, which are the widest and narrowest parts of your body? What shapes best flatter your figure and in what combinations (e.g. flowy on top, narrow on the bottom, vice versa, or a more flowy/tight ensemble that emphasizes your waist, shoulders, or legs?)

When it doubt, choose black clothing or garments in darker, vampy hues, and select fabrics that are thick and well-tailored/structured or very forgiving fabrics that glide over your curves (like satin)

Pamper your skin, hair, and curate a beauty routine that makes you smile every time you look in the mirror (makeup, hairstyle, nail color/shape, perfume, etc.)

Create habits that help you feel your best in your body – eating healthy and exercising daily purely for energy and mental clarity, indulgent showers, beauty routines, and massages, cultivating a satisfying self-pleasure/sexual practice, creating an environment that heightens your sensory pleasure – wearing a satin robe, cozy blankets, delicious smelling lotions, room sprays, etc.

Not feeling comfortable in your body after gaining weight is completely normal, so validate these emotions if you're dealing with some cognitive dissonance between your mind and body in this regard. You've been through a lot mentally, so it makes sense that some signs of this mental exhaustion would show in your body. Glad you're making space and devoting energy to move toward healing.

Always remember though, being hot is a mindset – it is never weight-dependent (my friend actually said this again to me as a reminder the other day, and I loved the sentiment, so I thought I would share it here).

Sending love xx

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