#Wait- I swear it’s just my fursona!

[reyshepherd]

My loved ones: ”Shiloh, you need to go to sleep-“

My insomnia: “AWOOOOOOOOO-“

[defensivelee]

what if six lives! mary had tumblr

yeah what if. that would be crazy lol

0 notes

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

daddy finally fucked off 🥳 pls wish him a good trip. i'm going live in ten

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

does @raccoongirlbush want to join.. the stream always makes more when we pretend to kiss 💛 i PROMISE i'll take you out later with the extra dono money, wear something nice!!!!

🦝 raccoongirlbush Follow

o7

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

anne i swear to lo!!! ok whatever click here to join the stream, i look forward to seeing all of you there~

#streams #i'm just kidding ily anne... #please accept dinner as my humble apology #i'll peg you later <3 #wait how many followers do i have on here again?

2,392 notes

🧡 menhera-prince-unlimited Follow

We're all seeing this, right? The fucking election results? I feel so bad for Rersetia, getting stuck with an Ally governor who does nothing but fear-monger and whine about the Overlifers-- all bark and no bite, that one. Unfortunately, woke little brats who don't know any better will flock to this one and decide it's a great victory instead.

I think I know what the next podcast episode will be about. It's about time we get the Allies to step down-- power doesn't mean competence. There are better people, with horns and tails, nothing but pure devil blood running through their veins, waiting for their chance out there, but when will Altos Diablos realize that?

🦌 allybentincksmain Follow

william please

🧡 menhera-prince-unlimited Follow

hans omg i forgot you followed me here haiiii ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

#hanni tag

372 notes

🤍 vitamarkedheart Follow

just seen the UGLIEST girl omg

🤍 vitamarkedheart Follow

bitches still go out like this.

🤍 vitamarkedheart Follow

wear green stockings or don't show your legs at all, fucking cow lol

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

on it bossman 🤍💚

🤍 vitamarkedheart Follow

wasn't talking to you. but can you dox that girl for me

#and then stop stalking my blog thank you #i love you princess <3 but get out #you are such a creep

22 notes

🦝 raccoongirlbush Follow

when is @/menhera-prince-unlimited going to come out with the Ally Bentinck sex tapes like we all know what he's hiding

#ally bentinck #religious posts #horny posts

18 notes

🐾 madwoofwoofspiritboy Follow

my girl got me a new collar :3 gonna post a pic later on the alt, horny timezone bitches are gonna have to wait

#m woof woofs

14 notes

🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow

Please be normal about seeing James Stewart and I together tonight. For the last time, honestly...!

🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow

Even just allegations of abuse can ruin a person's life, literally fuck off with that. You all think you know everything.

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

you fucking wish it was just allegations lol

🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow

I thought I blocked you, did you make another account?

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

hehehe <3 you're amazing at changing the subject... it's why he loves you 💚

🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow

High again? @vitamarkedheart can you come deal with her now?

#sorry about this lol #don't believe them for a second #or her for that matter #marly reblogs

4,946 notes

💌 idolofthedevils Follow

HELLO Everyone I must Tell You NOW!!!!11 That none other than Next Month, Devils Willing,,, I will have a NEW FEATURE (๑>◡<๑) for the Pup Hoods that you all so Adore very very Very very much~ for the first time Everrrr <3 now you shall ALLLL have the option to pay for ☆Custom☆ Pup Hoods up on the site, at the LOW low Low price of an extra Twenty Guilders ♡ ～('▽^人) and nouuu Additional Wait :3 doesn't that sound great n amazing n Everything you ever wanted???? Stop moping around, Get it up, let me see you all Happy now ( ◡‿◡ ) you weird Furries with Fursonas may join in the Celebrations naowwwww~

I love you all Forever and ever ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡ please make me very Happy and very much Richer!!!!! TOO!!!

#business spam #small business #JUST KIDDING FUCKETTES!!!! #you wish you were me #go make monopolies elsewhere ily <3

11,387 notes

🫁 nassauphilia Follow

sometimes I miss the feeling of knowing that at least death is a certainty

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

it can still be one 😘

🫁 nassauphilia Follow

is that supposed to be comforting or a threat??

#and how did u find my vent blog

6 notes

🦌 allybentincksmain Follow

The word of the Western Kingdom today is to have UNPROTECTED SEX 🙏🔥!!! Please enjoy yourselves, suck a lot of dick for good luck 🧡!!

#i love you all <3

6,409 notes

🩸 tail-tangled-of-este Follow

hot take, maybe, but I think they should bring back teaching Messianic in schools. you can't take children to a museum and expect them to be moved at the valiance of the devils when they don't know what the angels wanted.

#i don't remember who taught it to me but i am eternally grateful #maria.txt

65 notes

[ika-archieves]

what happened?

short ver: my twitter art acc fucked up mental health so nuked it, i am rebranding and it will be 18+ but i'm unsure about this acc's future (either soft block minors or move to a new acc). new vibes will drop when i feel better. also new fursonas yipee yay

long ver under the cut

idk if anyone noticed that my twitter is...basically gone now. like gone gone and i'd feel bad about not telling why it's deactivated.

basically it's been a mental burden to me lately. even though i'm not happy with the yarasa2k alias, the twitter account just hit me like a dodgeball of depression every time i logged in, it was especially bad there. and i had this bad habit of feeling like a content creator instead of an artist because i'd notice my post would flop hard if i took breaks and my sweet time, which is BAD for the mindset let's say considering i only managed to get 1300 followers across almost 6 years wow, that's a lot of people for sure but what's the point if i feel like only 10-15 people are seeing it. i want to take my sweet time, draw something i'd actually get inspired by, look at the drawing and go "whoa i want to make this a poster" i want to give y'all a juicy piece which leads me to another point.

i...don't want to appeal to children. i know my style is on the cuter side with bright colors and squishy faces but i am an adult and i want to talk about mature shit god damn it. that doesn't mean i'm gonna be a pron artist or whatever but i don't want to limit myself, i want to throw a hot woman or two occasionally idfk, i swear a lot so that should say smth LMAO. i want to not nuke this acc for archiving reasons (twitter sucks at that so i didn't mind nuking that one) and i can make this acc either retired or soft block every minor oomfie i have idk yet, would love some suggestions.

i am going through rebranding where i made brand new fursonas without any "fusing the past 2 fursonas" bs, two to be specific. so far i love drawing them considering i now take my time in pieces i can't wait to introduce yall but i am still on the mental break where i just take a breather and draw whatever i want. once i feel better i will come back with a brand new twitter acc. i won't change usernames til that account is born so you won't know :P my other ocs will stay for now theyre neat. maybe i'll do the projects i've been slacking on since they take a while to make (like a 3d model or an animation). i post them in friend discord servers rn :3

when will i come back? i dunno, when i feel better and ready i suppose. for now im on a hiatus on every site but i will be lurking bc i love looking at art raaaaaaaaagh. and my comfort lads. cya later skaters

[ephiesoul]

hey this is just another question for commissions but do you have any experience with drawing darker skin tones? This is not meant to sound degrading or mean at all, it’s just all the examples you have on your Etsy are the same skin tone, so I was wondering if you were able to do a character with a darker skin tone? (I swear I remember you had at one point but my memory fails me.) Tysm for answering my questions by the way, I’m waiting til the holidays this year to get one just because I just want to give myself that gift. :D

Hello! 💜 No worries I don’t take it as degrading or mean. You were very kind with your question! And thanks for asking 💕

I typically draw characters/people that my followers request. Which is most commonly Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, Ethan Nestor, Sandersides, and their ego characters. And they just all happen to be light skinned.

I have drawn characters with pale, light, tan, dark, very dark skin before. Especially for commissions. And open to drawing anyone of any color or ethnicity 💕 (This also includes fantasy colors like green skin as well as some animal creatures or fursonas. I’m not as good at drawing some animals yet tho.)

Here’s a few examples of some different skin tones 💕 Hope this helps! :3

[meowymeowzers]

,,,,,,more random short writing

"Finley, get out of my room," Aeizar groaned. Observing the wall decor, Tess was surprised to see a fursona art print. Turning towards the troll, he stuck a thumb out towards the drawing.

"What's up with the art? You look like someone who'd call me cringe for being a furry. Not that I am one, but y'know," Tess quipped, eying Aeizar's eternally grumpy look. However, upon hearing Tess's comment, he frowned and gave him an annoyed glance. "What?"

"Finley.. I'm literally Katyam's moirail. You know? The catgirl?" Aeizar raised an eyebrow at the blonde. Tess cringed back. "What now?"

"Dude.. Isn't Katy, like, trans?" Aeuzar wrinkled his nose.

"Yeah, so?"

"So? Dude, that's so fucked. Don't call them a girl then," Tess said, incredulous that he even had to say such a thing. Aeizar groaned and wiped his face with his hands. Taking a deep breath, he began again.

"Finley, Yams doesn't care about being called a cat girl because she's literally a cat girl! Being nonbinary doesn't change the cat girl thing," Aeizar said, his eyes starting to spark from irritation. "I think I know more about her gender than a guy who's barely met her."

Sensing he's struck a nerve, Tess bit the inside of his cheek and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, you're right. Sorry, man. I guess I just get defensive over that kinda shit because of Eshwar and y'know.. basically all my friends.. Wow, we're all trans, huh?" Blinking, Tess started nervously rambling. "I mean, shit, there's me, Esh, Macy, Jass, Rory, Rosa, Elie, Pirens, Esakar, Ittara, Mashak, and apparently Katyam too, holy shit. Aw fuck, are you trans too, Aeizar? If not, you gotta join the club, man. I swear we're cool. I'm sure we can make you some fuckin' welcoming gift. Jass and I can bake for you and Keirli could make ice cream. Shit, if you join, Macy's gonna force us to watch Tom Cruise movies. Maybe you shouldn't join."

Aeizar closed his eyes. It's okay. He can do this. He's been friends with Eshwar since they were wrigglers. He can deal with his best friend's boyfriend's idiotic ramblings for a little longer.

"If you don't wanna join, you can be our honorary member. Maybe Eshie will give you a congratulatory blowjob. Wait, fuck, forget I said that."

Okay, nope. Not doing this. Aeizar stopped Tess's speech with his psiionics. Even so, he could hear the cogs whirling in Tess's mind on how Aeizar's psiionics could be used in the bedroom. He gave him a warning glare and Tess's face immediately turned red.

"Finley. You are going to shut up. No, don't make this weird and sexual. You're going to stop making weird slip-ups about your matesprit giving me head. Holy fuck, why would that even cross your mind," Aeizar asked, the sentence finally penetrating his mind.

At the very least, Tess looked embarrassed, but not even remotely ashamed. Shaking his head, Aeizar facepalmed before continuing.

"For your information, I am trans. So is Rascha and all the lowbloods. We just don't find it as culturally significant as humans. Seriously, who the fuck cares what others identify as?"

Letting the psiionic hold loosen, Aeizar collapsed on his beanbag. Tess let his hand linger on his mouth. It was all tingly from Aeizar's hold on him.

"So.. you aren't going to join our club," Tess asked with a grin. Aeizar used his psionics to toss a energy drink can at Tess's head while he laughed and dodged it. "Okay, I'll leave you to your weird gaming stuff. See you later, Eggs!"

Once Tess ran out of the room, Aeizar shook his head and turned back to his husktop to continue caring for his online pets.

...Wait, why does he call you Eggs again?

[crowcat-writes]

HYPHEN ANON HERE SKZ (the group that made youtiful) IS MY ULT GROUP TIME TO RANT!! I LOVE YOU FOR LETTING ME DO THIS :3 :3 :3 I swear if this ask doesn't send..

okay so this group, stray kids, was fully debuted 03/15/2018! it was formed by the survival show called, well, stray kids! there are eight members (and three subunits they're in. 3racha is the producer subunit, formed predebut)

bangchan (3racha) - the leader, he's a workaholic and very silly. wait all the members are actually. aussie boy who hates pineapple burgers "there is a piece of pineapple. in my burgah'". his skzoo is a wolf!

lee know/lee minho (danceracha) - the most cat person to ever cat person. absolute dance machine. he almost got kicked out from stray kids but got put back before debut. his skzoo is a bunny!

changbin (3racha) - oh the things I could say about this man... (he's my bias <3) main rapper, and he's like, crazy fuckin good. like faster than eminem good. his girl group dance covers EATTT. his skzoo is a dwaekki! (part bunny part pig thing)

hyunjin (danceracha) - changbins wife (wait nvm I think its the other way around? I don't remember) also a really good dancer, with some fire raps too. his skzoo is a ferret!

han (3racha) - the babygirl ever, but he's also a crazy good rapper. accidentally started an "aye domino❗❗" cult, you could check duolingo or even the domino pizza social media accounts to see for yourself. writes songs like he's going through his 4th divorce. his skzoo is a quokka!

felix (danceracha) - he looks so cute, right? wait until you hear his voice bro, he goes DEEP. also aussie, and like minho, almost got kicked out of the group. his skzoo is a chick!

seungmin (vocalracha) - "seungmin in the building!!" jyps (their boss) biggest opp. funniest member, when he says something the entire group dies. his skzoo is a puppy!

i.n./jeongin (vocalracha) - cutie patootie. maknae on top (he has a song dedicated to how much of the best maknae, or youngest, he is) im so in love with his vocals, just like how all the members are in love with him. his skzoo is a fennec fox!

youtiful is in the 5 star album, their 3rd most recent album! (2nd most recent is rockstar, most recent is the ate album that came out July 19th) they're super talented and they're on tour right now!! you should check out the solo stages they did cause GOD DAMN!!

They sound cool, might check’em out if I ever wanna sample K-pop!

i am SO sorry but my first thought about the Skzoo thing is “so that’s their fursona?” (I am a furry this is not in any sense derogatory)

<3

[chaoslynx]

Hiii!!!!!!!

This first charecter that came to my mind is Ash! /Of course/!!

Prompt! Adopting/rescuing stray cat!!

Anyways, much much love and support!! ❤️

send a character to my inbox (with or without a prompt) and I’ll attempt to write 200+ words from their POV!

credit for the starring role in this drabble goes to @bearflame's cat.

 "No way," Ash says, crossing his arms. "I see where your mind is going, and there's not a chance."

"But Ash!" Eiji whines, and—oh shit, Ash is already starting to cave.

He has to stay strong here. "We can take it to an animal shelter, or ask one of the guys if they know a good home for it, but ... we can't ..."

Eiji holds the scruffy orange cat up to Ash, and it has those big dumb baby eyes, and—

Fuck!

Ash tries not to show his smile. "We are not adopting a stray cat right now."

"I think he has a sinus infection or something," Eiji mumbles, and the cat sneezes like it's on cue. Holy shit. Did they plan this?

"Eiji," Ash whines.

"I heard him wheezing from the street! We can't just leave him like this."

"The animal shelter option is still open," Ash says, raising an eyebrow.

Eiji puts on that big pouty face, and the cat is doing, like, the same face, and—ugh.

"All right, let's take a look at the little guy," Ash says. Eiji sets the cat down on the ground, and Ash pulls out his phone to use as a flashlight. The light shines on the cat, and the stupid little idiot gets startled by its own shadow and jumps about two feet into the air.

"You scared him!" Eiji whines.

"I didn't mean to!" Ash insists. "Don't let him get away! Be careful." Wait, shit. He's supposed to be on the side of not taking the cat home. Fuck. "Does he have a tag or anything?"

"Nope. He's pretty clearly a stray." Eiji inspects the cat quickly. "I think he's scared. Stop shining the light at him!"

"I'm just trying to help," Ash mutters, quickly fumbling to turn his phone light back off. The alley goes dark.

The cat hiccups.

"You scared him so bad you gave him hiccups!" Eiji insists. "Now we have to adopt him."

"No? We don't? That's literally not how this works."

"Please, Ash? Please please please?"

They stare at each other for a moment, and Eiji holds the cat up again.

Ash sighs. "How many stray blond rescues does this make? I'm starting to think you have a type."

"Three!" Eiji declares proudly. "Ash the Lynx, Buddy the golden retriever, and Pumpkin here."

"You are not naming the cat Pumpkin."

 "It's the perfect name for an orange cat!"

"I happen to think that Ash is the perfect name for a blond cat. Or, like, anything but Pumpkin."

"Well that's all well and good for your fursona, Mr. Lynx, but this cat is named Pumpkin."

"Who the hell taught you fursona?" Ash demands.

Eiji just giggles.

"... Alex's days are numbered. I swear to god—"

"So does that mean we can bring the cat home?"

"Fine. But only if you pick a name that's not Pumpkin."

"Okay, Lynx-kin over there."

"Who taught you kinning?!" Ash throws his hands up and starts walking away, slow enough for Eiji to gather up the cat—Pumpkin—and follow him.

"You already love this cat, don't you?" Eiji asks, and Ash can't tell if he's teasing or serious.

Ash sighs again. "Well, if nothing else, I can relate to being afraid of the shadow of a pumpkin."

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[salexectrian-heir]

messages from last night update

chapter below the cut | ao3 link

✧ Oracle ✧

SEPT 1ST 4:57 AM

[Joker] Hi

[Joker] Story time

[✧ Oracle ✧] i see yusuke returned ur phone

[Joker] Aha, yeah. After swearing on my life I would not make any more poor life choices

[Joker] I assume that was your doing

[✧ Oracle ✧] ur welcome

[Joker] Hmm well I might not have sworn hard enough

[✧ Oracle ✧] ???

[Joker] bet you 500 yen you can’t guess where I woke up this morning (without hacking my location)

[✧ Oracle ✧] oh god akira… jail?

[✧ Oracle ✧] again??!

[Joker] No

[Joker] Better

[✧ Oracle ✧] !!?

[Joker] On the catwalk of the auditorium

[✧ Oracle ✧] BRUH

[✧ Oracle ✧] didnt yusuke like walk u home???

[Joker] He did

[Joker] I just didn’t stay home after

[✧ Oracle ✧] (-_-;)・・・

[✧ Oracle ✧] but don’t they lock up the buildings at night….

[Joker] ...

[✧ Oracle ✧] also i’m p sure catwalks are at least fifteen meters in the air??

[Joker] ...

[Joker] I am surprisingly still very dexterous while intoxicated

[✧ Oracle ✧] o m g

[✧ Oracle ✧] what possessed u to sneak out of the dorm, pick a lock, scale scaffolding, and fall asleep on a metal beam is  / literally /  beyond me

[Joker] Me too, It's all very...fuzzy after getting back to the dorms

[Joker] Maybe I was a cat in a past life

[✧ Oracle ✧] cat!kira

[✧ Oracle ✧] congrats u now have a fursona to add to your growing list of ‘sonas

[Joker] Cat!kira go prrr?

[✧ Oracle ✧] HAHAH a self-drag?

[✧ Oracle ✧] Someone truly is hungover and regretting his life choices

[Joker] Jokes aside, all that flexibility training I did in hs apparently paid off

[Joker] I have no new bruises or injuries that I am aware of so I made it up in one piece. Somehow.

[✧ Oracle ✧] wait hold up I thot all that “training” u’d say u were doing was just like horny akira code for “going to mess around with Sumi after school”

[✧ Oracle ✧] don’t tell me u actually were doing gymnastics with her that whole time

[Joker] Okay

[✧ Oracle ✧] ????

[Joker] You literally just told me not to tell you

[✧ Oracle ✧] but was i right?! i NEED to kno if i was right

[Joker] Haha yes and no

[Joker] We did both

[Joker] is typing...

[✧ Oracle ✧] oKAY OKAY OKAY NO DETAILS (SAVE THOSE FOR ANN)

[✧ Oracle ✧] JUST CONFIRMATION THANK U next

[Joker] You have written fanfic more explicit than anything I could ever tell you I’ve done, AND I PROOF READ IT FOR YOU

[✧ Oracle ✧] ヽ(•//д//•)ノ [ok true]

[✧ Oracle ✧] but

[✧ Oracle ✧] ヽ(•̀//д//•́)ノ

[Joker] Ik Ik, I’m teasing. I won’t corrupt your virginal ears

[✧ Oracle ✧] /anyway/ people r gonna be mad jealous when they find out u dated an olympic gymnast

[Joker] She wasn’t one when we dated though so technically I didn’t

[Joker] She found out she qualified shortly before we went back to being just friends

[Joker] I think we’re both much happier this way

[✧ Oracle ✧] Obviously. you still talk to her??

[Joker] Yeah

[Joker] We caught up before the semester started

[Joker] She said she was nervous, but that’s to be expected when you’re on the global stage. Aside from that she’s fitting in really well with her new teammates. She just wishes Kasumi could have been a part of it

[✧ Oracle ✧] </3

[Joker] Yeah :( </3

[Joker] But she’s good

[Joker] Still calls me senpai though...which idk how to feel about that

[✧ Oracle ✧] lol its ~cute~

[Joker] Hmm leaning towards don’t think so

[✧ Oracle ✧] “oh ~senpai~ you’ll still watch me compete in the olympics on TV right?”

[Joker] ...did you listen in on the call

[✧ Oracle ✧] no

[Joker] “no,” she lied like a liar (I know you still have my phone bugged damn it)

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1ST 5:01 AM

[✧ Oracle ✧] *kicks down the door to the thieves den*

[✧ Oracle ✧] INARI U FAILED

[✧ Oracle ✧] GUESS WHERE AKIRA IS

[✧ Oracle ✧] (hint: not where he’s supposed 2 be)

[Fox] Preposterous! He was safely returned to his dorm room. I personally put him to bed.

[Panther] you stayed over in their dorm room Fox… isn’t he in there w/you??

[Fox] is typing...

[Fox] Ah. It appears that I am in his bed and Akira is indeed missing. I was on the floor when we went to sleep. I have no recollection of this transfer.

[Fox] I have awoken Ryuji but all he has done is throw his possessions at me in an attempt to silence my “pestering” so I do not think he will be of any help in this situation.

[Joker] Don’t bother with him Fox. He isn’t responsive until at least 9am after a night out.

[Joker] Also, why aren’t the rest of you sleeping?

[Panther] Joker! you’re alive!!! are you okay???????

[Joker] Define okay

[✧ Oracle ✧] *cackles*

[Panther] where are you?!?

[Joker] You aren’t going to guess?

[Panther] jail?

[Fox] Please let it not be true your detective arrested you last night, and you are suffering in incarceration as we type.

[Joker] Why is jail everyone’s first guess? I was only arrested once!

[Joker] Fuck

[Joker] Also, he is not “my” detective

[Fox] is typing…

[✧ Oracle ✧] u sure about that

[Joker] Oh no

[✧ Oracle ✧] pls reread our messages from last night

[Joker] Oh GOD

[✧ Oracle ✧] *cackles louder*

[✧ Oracle ✧] i can’t wait to hear what inari is about to dish out

[Panther] wait what did akira say to you @ ✧ Oracle ✧?!

[Joker] Futaba please *softly* don’t

[Fox] Last night I had to relieve you of your phone before you texted the detective prince incriminating evidence of your state of inebriation and infatuation. You were adamant that you had to send him a picture of a cat as a token of your feelings, which I objected as the image you selected was not flattering of the cat. I may have just met you a few days ago, so please tell me if I am overstepping my bounds, but I do not think sending hideous pictures of cats is a wise way of winning over this man’s affections.

[✧ Oracle ✧] pls show us the picture he wanted to send

[Fox]

[Panther] Hahahah oh akira

[✧ Oracle ✧]

[Joker] …

[Joker] I’ll be staying at this undisclosed location until further notice

[Panther] no Akira!!! seriously where are you??

[Joker] the_view_is_nice.image

[Panther] :O

[Panther] how did you get up that high???

[✧ Oracle ✧] gymnastics training

[Panther] huh? i didn’t know you were a gymnast Akira!!

[✧ Oracle ✧] im sure he’ll tell u all about it now

[Joker] -____-

[Fox] I cannot believe I failed my first mission as the Chosen One.

[✧ Oracle ✧] i can

[Fox] is typing…

[Panther] @ ✧ Oracle ✧!!!!!!

[✧ Oracle ✧] kek

[Fox] I am an utter disgrace to this friendship. How can I even call this a friendship when I have done nothing but leech from the kindness you all have bestowed upon me. How will I ever be able to show my face among you,  those whom I have failed. I must atone for the shame I have wrought.

[Joker] You didn’t fail @ Fox, and you are not a disgrace. It was my fault. I was the shitty friend in this situation. I’ll make it up to everyone, and to you Fox. I’ll think of something.

[Fox] Food would suffice.

[Joker] Dinner for a week it is.

[Fox] Delightful!

[Panther] wow he got over that fast

[✧ Oracle ✧] welcome to being friends with Inari, the path of forgiveness is through his stomach

***

✧ Oracle ✧

SEPT 1st 5:07 AM

[Joker] Slight problem

[Joker] I actually have no idea how to get down

[✧ Oracle ✧] u really r part f*cking cat

***

Regrettably, some of his life choices last night did him no favors.

Mistakes had been made. Limits and Lessons had been learned. Unfortunately the hard way.

After miraculously finding a way down off the catwalk without injury  into his dorm shower and a fresh set of clothes, Akira managed to show up for his opening shift at Big Bang Blends ten minutes early.

Haru took one look at him when he slinked into the kitchen and immediately said, “Oh dear.”

Akira spun a damp curl around his finger. “That bad, huh?”

“Uhm.” Haru offered him a wobbling, pitiful smile. “You kind of look like how I would imagine a cat that got caught outside in the rain might feel.”

He let out a self-deprecating chuckle and wandered over to the apron rack. “Fair comparison.” Selecting his off its hook, he pulled it over his head. “I’d add on that the cat also got stuck in a tree and developed a splitting migraine.”

“I know just the thing that’ll sort you out!” Haru hovered over to Akira’s side. “Whenever I--” she paused, considering her words with a finger to her lip, “overindulge,” she settled on with a giggle, “I’ll make myself a cup of my special tea. It instantly clears my head and calms my stomach.”

Akira’s stomach rolled unpleasantly. “ Special tea ?”

Haru nodded vigorously. “It works like a charm! And I’m not just saying that because I drink it, I have a friend--well, I might be overstepping if I were to call him that, we aren’t that close,” Haru sighed, “but I make it for him too when he occasionally stumbles in here in a similar state.”

“Do I want to know what’s in it?” he asked hesitantly.

Haru beamed brightly at him. “No.”

Akira groaned.

“I promise it’ll work,” Haru said, wandering out of the kitchen and over to her collection of loose leaf teas that were displayed in clear, sealed jars behind the counter. She called back to him, “You’ll perk up in no time!”

He gave her a weak thumbs up.

Picking up the task list from the side of the walk in freezer, he resigned himself to his fate of ingesting whatever the fuck concotion Haru was going to feed him. It couldn’t have been worse than what he drank last night. In all honesty, he would have been feeling way, way, worse if Yusuke hadn’t convinced him to drink so much water when they got back. Akira would like to think the fact he wasn’t curled up on the floor in the fetal position on the cafe floor was also thanks in part to the Amazake he had chosen to drink the night prior too. But the thought of the non-alcoholic sake made his stomach churn harder so he stopped that train of thought immediately, and focused on setting up the dining area.  His head felt like it weighed five pounds heavier than it usually did, which made moving it a bit of a hassle, but he had the opening sheet to finish before the cafe opened and he’d damn himself if he didn’t deliver.

What his stomach did seem safe to think about was luck stats, and that maybe Futaba was onto something when she had made that off hand comment in their chat last night. Akira was incredibly lucky to have landed two bosses ( three if he counted Sojiro but the man was more like a father than he ever was a boss) who cared more about his well being as a person than as a source of cheap labor. Watching Haru make his tea as he flipped chairs down off the tables only amplified his guilt of showing up before her utterly and unmistakably hungover.

Being the sloppy friend did not sit well with Akira.

He swore to himself as he pushed in the last chair he took down that this was the first and last time he ever did anything as stupid and irresponsible as he did last night. Not to mention, his luck wouldn’t last if he kept this up. He’d make it up to everyone somehow, and Haru in particular now. He wouldn’t let his current state impact his work.

And once he stopped feeling like dogshit and could form a coherent argument, he was going to have a long, hard talk with whichever one of his personas decided it would be great fucking idea to drink so much, scale the interior of the theatre, and fall asleep on a steel beam no greater than sixty centimeters in width. Because honestly, what the fuck ?

Even In high school, his “peak stupidity” years, he hadn’t done anything as dumb as this.

Okay, well, that was a lie.

He had done a lot of stupid, often illegal things (see: petty theft, breaking and entering) in high school that to him, had been justified. He was quite gifted at stealing and knew his way around a lock with professional proficiency, and he had gotten away with it unscathed for a very long time.

Except for the whole getting arrested and put on probation thing , which ironically had been for a crime he didn’t actually commit.

“It’s ready!”

“Thanks, Haru.”

Akira swung by the to-go counter reaching for the mystery tea waiting for him and continued on.

After thirty minutes of sipping on whatever miracle cure Haru brewed as he checked off the morning set up tasks, it fucking kicked in. The mind fog and nausea disappeared almost entirely, settling his stomach enough that he was able to keep down some Advil and melon pan with Haru for breakfast. Akira could handle the headache until the medicine took over.

He just couldn’t move too fast or too sudden (Akira was still a little too off balance for that), or turn his neck sharply (thanks to what he had drunkenly decided to use as a pillow the night before). But he powered through it as he set about stocking the various coffee beans in their containers.

The last item on the task sheet they completed together. Prepping the food items for the pastry case with all of the baked goods Haru had made the night before. In addition to mochi, goma dango, and other pastries one would expect to enjoy with tea and coffee, there was always some kind of cake. Meticulously and lovingly decorated, sliced by hand that Haru showcased in her cake display. Today’s selection was a daring one, a pink lemonade cake with delicately applied ombre pink frosting and topped with candied lemon slices that were evenly spaced, each sitting on an artful dollop of whipped white icing.

“Did you want to try a piece, Akira-kun?”

Akira glanced over from where he was sliding a tray of nerikiri into the case. A plate with a modest slice was being extended to him. Eyeing the color up close, his stomach protested. Apparently still a little too hungover to test the limits of his digestive tract with such an extravagant confection.

“It looks amazing, but I think I’ll stick to the melon pan this time Haru.”

“I can always save it for la--”

A sharp series of knocks interrupted their conversation.

From his position squatting on the floor, he checked the time on his phone. There were still five minutes until the cafe officially opened for the day. Haru had warned him there were always a few people who showed up early and failed to read the sign.

“I’ll get it,” Akira sighed, sliding the door of the pastry case shut. “You finish with the cake. I’ll handle our impatient caffeine addict.”

“Oh don’t worry the cake’s all done, I just cut the last slice.” Haru waved Akira off. “I can get him.”

Him?

He hastily straightened up, brushing a few stray sugary crumbs off his apron and immediately looked over at the entrance. Every muscle in his body seized up. Waiting outside the glass doors was one impeccably dressed and restless looking Akechi Goro. Akechi rolled his shoulder, adjusting the strap of his messenger bag while he checked his phone.

The message Akira sent Akechi last night intrusively echoed in his head the moment the former detective looked up and locked eyes with him. Pocketing his phone into his suit jacket (it had to be custom fit, because there was no way it could have cut his figure that well without tailoring), he lifted his chin ever so slightly. Akechi’s expression twisted wickedly into something that short circuited Akira’s brain.

Oh.

Fuck .

A war waged between two primal instincts in Akira’s body at the sight, the overwhelming urge to run in the face of danger clashing with a tidal wave of lust. The rush coursed through his veins, freezing him in place. Much like prey that had been cornered, his heart began to thrash against his ribs.

Akechi’s grin was sharp and salacious, a stark contrast to the innocent and winsome smile that the T.V. ready Prince so often wore. Akira didn’t know him all that well (... yet ), but God , that smile just seemed to suit Akechi so much better.

Akira got to witness this side of Akechi knowing it was reserved for only him for about two whole seconds before Akechi’s face changed, shifting into his composed, manufactured doll-like mask when Haru made it over to let him in.

The transformation gave Akira something pretty close to whiplash.

Really arousing whiplash.

“Good morning Akechi-san,” she greeted him, holding the door open with a warm smile.

“And same to you, Okumura-san,” he returned politely, stepping past her and into the cafe proper. “Pardon my early arrival, I have quite the busy day planned unfortunately and was hoping to get a jump start.” He brushed aside a few strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes with a gloved hand. “I hope your morning has been going well.”

“It’s barely started,” Akira muttered, reaching for a to-go cup to start Akechi’s order to busy himself with so he wouldn’t stare at the breathtakingly handsome man in front of him. His heart needed a break already.

Instead of writing Akechi’s name, he doodled a pair of handcuffs with the bold letters A and G within the negative space in each cuff (Akira admired his work for a brief moment and thought Yusuke would be proud). He marked the drink as a caramel latte, recalling what Haru had put down on his cup yesterday. Then proceeded to make a pour over instead.

Haru flipped the sign to open, and then said, “Very well, so far! I tried out a new cake recipe, you have to try it.”

Akechi laughed, and Akira’s stomach clenched--but this time in an all too pleasant way. Akira diverted his attention from grinding the beans for his drink to watch the detective ( Fuck! ) The sound was light and lyrical, and after what Akira witnessed… sounded totally out of place coming out of the same mouth that had held that smug, voracious grin a moment ago.

“As much as I would love to, I must decline. I cannot get into the habit of having cake for breakfast.”

“Then you must take a slice with you!” Haru walked past him and over to her cake display, lifting the glass lid and taking a piece out.

“Alright, if you insist,” Akechi conceded, coming to a stop in front of Akira, who moved on to scooping the grounds into the damp filter. The proximity made it near impossible to keep his eyes off the detective, but Akira somehow managed it, forcing himself to pay attention to his pour.

“Actually, would you mind if I borrowed your barista for a moment, Okumura-san?”

Akira snapped his head up from his preparations and met Akechi’s eyes once more ( God damnit! ). Which was a really dumb idea as a shock of pain spiked down his neck. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop from wincing.

A dangerous glint appeared in that maroon gaze that catapulted Akira’s thundering heart into his throat.

“Is he in trouble?” Haru peered over her shoulder from where she was packing a bright pink slice of cake into a to-go container.

“He might be,” Goro murmured just loud enough for Akira to hear, then broke their eye contact to address Haru, “I assure you, nothing of the sort.” He smiled that infuriatingly fake smile at her, complete with an innocent tilt of his head. “I just need to ask him a few questions, in private.”

Haru shot Akira a questioning stare, Do you need me to say no?

He shrugged nonchalantly, or as nonchalantly as someone who was having a very intense internal meltdown over an insanely attractive man could, and said, “It’s fine, Haru.” He continued to pour the scalding water in a circular motion over the coffee grounds in the filter, doing his best to quiet all the alarm bells in his head.

His response must have come off convincingly enough because Haru nodded and said, “Well, I can’t see why that would be a problem.” She hesitantly returned Akechi’s smile. “But I will need him back in a bit when the morning rush hits.”

“This shouldn’t take too long,” Akechi turned and gestured to a table in the corner of the cafe--far away enough from the counter that Haru couldn’t possibly overhear their conversation. Then under his breath he added, “As long as Kurusu-kun doesn’t resist, that is.”

Akira cleared his throat, willing his throbbing heart to drop back into its cage between his ribs. “Go on, I”ll join you when I’m finished.”

Akechi nodded, leaving the yen for his coffee on the counter and sauntered away. Akira topped off the pour over and transferred the liquid into the to-go cup. On his way around the counter he snagged what was left of his miracle tea and took a swig. He hoped it would replenish his mental reserves to handle the upcoming verbal sparring match he was sure he was about to walk into.

Akechi, in his immaculate glory, was leaning back in his chair languidly with one dark clad leg crossed. He watched Akira closely as he wandered over with their drinks. Akira suddenly felt incredibly out classed and underdressed in his usual cardigan-v neck combo he had going on compared to Akechi’s tan suit jacket and pressed button down shirt.

He slid into the seat opposite Akechi and pushed his coffee across the table. Akechi nodded in thanks and brought it to his lips.

Akira pretended he didn’t watch the way Akechi’s throat moved as he swallowed his first sip.

The detective hummed approvingly. “Black.”

“The way you actually like it,” Akira said with a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”

“Is it now,” Akechi chuckled darkly against the lid still pressed to his lips. “Sadly, my coffee preferences are the extent of where your knowledge of me ends.”

In the tenuous silence that descended after that statement, they sipped at their respective drinks. Gazes not once wavering off one another.

“I assume you know why I’m here,” Akechi finally said, cutting the tension.

“When I said ‘come get me ’ I didn’t mean ‘corner me at work ’,” Akira hissed over his cup of miracle tea.

He could think of many other, far more superior places he would have loved to be cornered by Akechi in. But Akira kept that part to himself.

The detective leaned forward, resting his chin on his fist. “You do realize if this were a real investigation and I caught you as unaware as you were this morning, you being at work with your Boss present wouldn’t have deterred me.”

Akira stole a glance at Haru, who was busy writing the specials of the day on their blackboard, then drained the rest of his tea.

Akechi followed his gaze and continued on in a saccharine tone that contradicted the alluring smile his mouth had split into again, “But since it’s not, I highly doubt you want an audience for when I bend you over the counter and take what I want from you.”

Akira promptly choked.

Any lingering doubt Akira may have had about Akechi’s preferences evaporated. Akechi knew exactly what he was saying. He had to have, right? There was no heterosexual explanation for that response.

Point to Akechi, he thought, accepting the fact his face was probably as red as the flowering plant hovering three inches above his head.

“How considerate,” Akira managed to rasp once he got his tea to go down his throat correctly. Swallowing burned like a bitch. Now he had to deal with a sore throat on top of the rebellion being staged by his heart and stomach, and the leftover vertigo from his hangover.

“Will you hand it over now?” the detective asked with a hint of sugar coated venom.

“Hate to disappoint, but you’ll be walking away empty handed this morning. I left it in my room.”

Which wasn’t a lie. In his haste to recover from last night’s  escapade and get to work on time, he hadn’t thought to grab the handkerchief. The last thing he expected was this.

“I think you’re sending me mixed signals.”.

“Am I?”

“You tell me you want one thing, then act like you didn’t expect it to come to fruition when I follow through on it so I’m curious,” Akechi titled his head and his hair shifted, shining ethereally in the early morning sun streaming through the window. “What is it you really want, Kurusu?”

For you to fuck my brains out, Akira thought. But admitting that so bluntly to Akechi’s face felt like defeat. So, he kept the stupid illusion of their game going and leaned in.

“I want to see if the Detective Prince is really as good at his job as the rumors say he is.” Akira mirrored the detective’s head tilt and offered him a crooked grin. “I won’t be that easy.”

“If you want me to physically remove it from your person, then I must insist from this point forward you carry it with you. If every time I corner you, you… aren’t ready,” Akechi’s smile grew wider, “then doesn’t that defeat the purpose? And unlike you it seems, my time and attention is limited.”

“Rude.” Akira mimicked the detective’s posture, dropping his chin into his palm. “My time is limited too. I just can’t have you stalking me at work. And--” what Akira really meant to say next was , I cannot possibly work and retain my sanity with you watching me like that all the time. But instead said, “--Think of Okumura-san’s business. You’ll scare away her customers.”

Akechi shot him an unimpressed look. “Somehow I highly doubt that.”

Wow. Cocky bastard.  

"Well,” Akira said, changing tactics by imbuing a little bit of truth, “I imagine you can relate to not wanting to be distracted at work, with your fans and all.”

“They can be...rather inconvenient at times, yes.” Akechi studied him intently. “Alright then. Let’s make a deal.”

“Making a deal with the enemy? Akechi,” Akira feigned a gasp, “don’t tell me you’re a dirty cop.”

The detective snorted into his coffee. “I’m going to choose not to entertain that comment and suggest we establish some ground rules.”

“I thought rules didn’t exist in investigations,” Akira said mischievously.

“Like I previously stated, good thing this isn’t one, then?”

They shared a private smile.

“I propose this,” Akechi said, straightening up, hands clasped on the table. “From this point on, you will carry it on your person. I will catch you off guard within the next two weeks and take back what is rightfully mine. Our working hours are exempt from this. Obviously, the common spaces in the dormitory will be too by default. Should you ever need me as your RA, that will come first and foremost, I take my duties seriously. As should you. I think you’ll find these terms agreeable and respectful of each other’s time. Unless there are any other locations you want to deem off limits.”

Akira made a show of considering Akechi’s words, tapping a finger against his cheek. This was literally the most drawn out, intellectually charged foreplay Akira had ever engaged in but he couldn’t say it didn’t excite him. In fact, there was something exhilarating about it.  

“No. Everywhere else is fair game.”

“Really?” Akechi inquired, grin breaching that rapacious territory again. “Be careful what you agree to, Kurusu.”

Akira shrugged and leaned back.

“So,” Akechi prompted, “you won’t say no, will you?”

Of course he was going to accept. So Akira simply said, “I think I’ll hold on to your handkerchief.” And then held out his hand. It felt like the right thing to do.

“Hah, excellent,” Akechi smiled and shook it firmly. The leather was soft and warm as it dragged against Akira’s palm. “Otherwise, I will be forced to order a room inspection and somehow I doubt that is how you want this to play out.”

“If you are inspecting the room while I’m in it, then I might be.”

Right after the words left his mouth, the logical part of his brain that wasn’t stuck on being hungover and horny on main finally spoke up and reminded him of the very important, expulsion worthy, major cockblock that was currently being housed in his room: Morgana.

But then Akechi’s mouth upturned devilishly, and suddenly Akira decided he’d cross that furry bridge when he got to it.

“Well, then. I must be off. Thank you for the coffee,” Akechi said, dropping Akira’s hand as he stood up. “I have an interview taping in…” he checked his phone and sighed, “just over an hour. Hopefully the trains are on schedule.”

Akira tilted his head. “Still doing those?”

“Yes, keeping up appearances on behalf of the precinct,” Akechi explained, “I may be officially on hiatus as a full time student, but I still pick up cases from time to time. The media wants to know how I balance it all.”

“Ah. Explains the get up.”

Akechi bristled at the comment, his nose wrinkling ( cute! ) and brows drawing down as he straightened his already perfectly straight tie. “What’s wrong with my outfit?”

“Nothing,” Akira teased with a lilt in voice, “It’s nice, maybe a little stuffy.” He deliberately looked Akechi up and down. “But I bet you’d look better out of it, judging by what I saw you wear the last time you showed up here.” He couldn’t fight the coy smile his mouth twisted into even if he tried. “If you’re looking to show off, those shorts from yesterday would do a better job.”

The call out was meant to fluster Akechi, but the detective’s face remained remarkably even toned. Flawless even. Too flawless.

Could he be... he's totally wearing makeup.

Akira lifted a brow pointedly.

That did the trick, earning Akira a heated glare before Akechi turned his head sharply away. The movement roughly shifted the hair around his face, revealing a sliver of skin previously hidden. To Akira’s rapidly dawning delight, the detective’s neck was rapidly turning pink.

“Shut. Up. Kurusu.”

Oh, so Akechi blushes all the way down when he’s flustered. Fascinating. Akira filed the thought away for… later.

For totally innocent purposes.

Totally.

Akira stood up and slipped in front of Akechi, demanding to be looked at. Giddy with his new discovery. “Oh? What’s this? He can dish it out but can’t take it?”

Akechi’s eyes flashed as he brought himself up to his full height, and stepped into Akira’s space. Scowling down the few centimeters he had on him, he forced Akira to take a step back. “You,” he said lowly, continuing to move forward, making Akira walk backwards until his back hit the counter, “are a brat .”

“Just figuring that out now, detective?” Akira smirked. “I thought that was obvious.”

From this close Akira could see just how gorgeous the detective’s eyes truly were. Flecks of light red dotted the center most part of his eyes, giving off the illusion of glittering in the light. He was close enough that if Akira leaned in a fraction more their noses would touch.

A very polite, soft cough came from somewhere on Akira's right.

The detective’s eyes widened in shock. He quickly put space between them again and turned to face Haru, who was standing in between the kitchen and the counter area looking anywhere but at them.

Akira owed her now a second apology.

“I wish both of you a good day,” Akechi gracefully recovered and turned on his heel. He flexed his shoulders as he opened the door but stopped with one foot out the door.

“Oh, and Kurusu-kun?” Akechi turned halfway to face him, “Be sure to check your email this afternoon.”

And then he was gone.

***

It’s Always Snack Time in Tokyo

SEPT 1ST  8:00 AM

[Takuto Maruki] Hello! I was going to wait until I saw you in person, but I can’t resist telling you the good news! I submitted the paperwork to bring on an official research assistant. The chair of the department should grant me an answer by the end of the week. The position is yours once I get the documented approval.

[Takuto Maruki] That is, if you are still interested in conducting research with me like you did over the summer

[Akira Kurusu] I am

[Takuto Maruki] Even more wonderful!

[Akira Kurusu] Won’t it be unethical if you don’t let other people apply for the position though?

[Akira Kurusu] You can’t play favoritism

[Takuto Maruki] I, fortunately, get to make the rules in this situation and I wrote that I could appoint the position to any student that met certain criteria and showed promise in the field

[Akira Kurusu] You literally wrote the position description so that only I fit that criteria, didn’t you

[Takuto Maruki] You would be correct! :D

[Takuto Maruki] So if you’re free and want to get a jump start on assisting, I was hoping to recruit you this upcoming Friday to proctor an exam.

[Akira Kurusu] An exam? The second week of class? Savage Sensei

[Takuto Maruki] It is a 300 level that meets M/W/F so the curriculum moves fast. This cohort in particular is grasping the concepts at a much faster rate than the other two I teach for this course.

[Akira Kurusu] When is it? I open the cafe Friday mornings

[Takuto Maruki] 2pm

[Akira Kurusu] Okay, I can make that work. I’ll be there

[Takuto Maruki] Wonderful! :)

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1st 11:12 AM

[Skull] yo i am not back readin any of that

[Skull] wat did i miss?

✧ Oracle ✧  Changed Skull to Edgelord Can’t Read

[Edgelord Can’t Read] I CAN EFFIN’ READ!!!

[Edgelord Can’t Read] i said i wasn’t gonna, not that i cant big difference

[Edgelord Can’t Read] ur the one who cant read

[✧ Oracle ✧] wow gr8 comeback edgelord im so offended. what r we 7yrs old

[Edgelord Can’t Read] shuddup

***

Gotta Go Fast

SEPT 1st 11:28 AM

[Skull] BRO A CATWALK?! WTF?!?

[Skull] how the eff did u get down??

[Joker] My amazing cat-like reflexes

[Skull] bro

[Skull] how u feelin btw

[Joker] You know that feeling you get when you’re about to go over the hill on a rollercoaster?

[Joker] Like that

[Skull] oof

[Skull] ill make u my ma’s soup when ur shifts over, its the best for this kinda shit

[Joker] Why is everyone being so understanding with me today

[Skull] were ur friends man we gotchu

[Joker] alsdjflskf

[Skull] uh did the rollercoaster drop or smth

[Joker] Haha no

[Joker] Thanks Ryuji

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1st 2:01 PM

[Edgelord Can’t Read] UH HOLY SHIT EVERYONE CHECK UR EMAILS

[Panther] what?? why??

[✧ Oracle ✧] im surprised u even read ur email

[Joker] Oh.

[Joker] Fuck.

***

To: Shujin Hall_5th Floor

From: Akechi Goro; Niijima Makoto

CC: Kawakami Sadayo

Subject: Violation of Dormitory Rules

Dear Fifth Floor Residents of Shujin Hall,

This is a friendly reminder that there is a strict No Pets Policy in this Residence Hall. A contraband item, a can of pet food, was located on the floor inside the trash room on Friday night. As such, we will be conducting room inspections beginning tomorrow, starting with rooms located in the Girls’ Wing. Let this be an example to all that the consequences for violating this rule will be termination of their dormitory agreement and the loss of their on campus housing status. Any additional charges will be determined by the Residence Hall Director, Kawakami Sadayo.

If you have any further information on this subject, please feel free to contact us.

We hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend.

Sincerely,

Your Resident Assistants

Akechi Goro

University of Tokyo | Class of 20XX Criminal Justice / Psychology Major | Philosophy Minor AG710341@mail.u-tokyo.ac.jp

Niijima Makoto

University of Tokyo | Class of 20XX Criminal Justice Major | Psychology & Law Minor NM798448@mail.u-tokyo.ac.jp

[palettes-and-prompts]

Character Palette/Personality Palette

If I have seen the movie/show/or whatever this character is in I will let you know! But if I haven't I'm just gonna give my best guess to their personality or what I think they like and everything. I will make them two palettes, one based on their appearance and one based on what I think their personality is. If you'd rather not see this just block the tag "character palette and personality guess" I figure no one's tagging anything like that so it should be easy to filter out. If you genuinely like this character and I lowkey diss them I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize though, you're going to have to live with it. If you wanna send me a character for a palette and my guess at their personality/interests just drop it on anon and I'll see what I can do.

Alright so this is Kotetsu T. Kaburagi from the anime/manga Tiger and Bunny. I've heard of it, never watched it or read it though. But this character must be someone to thirst after because the anon spelled his name in all caps and gave the middle initial.

I'm gonna take a wild guess and say this guy's Tiger because they gave him muscles and his middle initial starts with T, like a tiger. And with what I know about anime I'm fucking sure that the creators made sure his name has to do with tigers in some way shape or form. This guy's got a cockiness to him. I'm not sure I like it either. God, look at that disgusting beard. Why does it look like that? What's the point? Just shave it or grow a bigger, less weird beard. Ugh, you know what that beard says? It's says "I don't know how to commit to someone and that's why I only have exes and people I casusally sleep with." I don't like it. It's like Tony Stark if Tony Stark was a fuckin' furry. I don't hate Tony Stark but I don't like this guy. Look at that, a little vest over that green button up? Dude, just throw on a t-shirt and go. Why are you like this? Ew, wait, what the fuck? Is that little green cat his fursona? Is that little hat a hat he wears in the anime? Oh my god, if this motherfucker wears a hat I swear. Ew, he does. I found another picture and disgusted myself even further by finding out those white buttons on his shirt aren't on his shirt, they're on his tie. I have literally never been so disgusted by an outfit in my entire life. I hate him. He looks like he tries to hustle kids out of their pocket change. You'd catch this guy gambling at a table with some girl on his lap, sweet talking her about how he's gonna take her on vacation when he rolls again. And then she blows on the dice all sexy and he rolls and loses every fucking dime and she ditches him because he doesn't have money. And then like, his old buddy walks in and says "You know, if you want money all you gotta do is take your old job back." and he's like "You know me, man, I'm retired." And they're like "Oh yeah, what if I told you that person doing it was Person B(his mortal enemy) and then he's like "Find someone else." And he goes away for like ten minutes and something dramatic happens that he can't forgive and the end of the episode is him calling his old pal being like "Hey, it's me, change of plans. I'm in." And then it cuts to the end theme which does not slap. I wouldn't trust this guy with money, would want him to save my life if I couldn't save it myself. But if I could I'd prefer to do it on my own. I don't particularly like this guy's vibe, it's not gross but it's not appealing. I probably wouldn't trust him in general though, I don't trust furries. If this guy had a theme song it would probably be Sleazy by Ke$ha.

Anyway here's his palette based on his character design.

And here is his palette based on what I think his personality is.

Blue is for the good he does and the green is because he seems kinda slimy. 

[clickbeetle]

could you post a list with a short description of your ocs/sonas so we can be properly introduced to them :) ?

(Original characters made for my story will be marked with a *)

Radical Ramsey (he/him): Cuphead oc/sona with the head of a ram skull. Big npc energies, won’t speak unless spoken to. Not really meant to have much of a personality, he just likes to be spooky bc it’s fun.

“Crow” (it/its): Monster sona. Technically nameless but likes to be called Crow. It molds itself in with shadows, and can be considered a shadow itself, but when touched it has a goopy viscous feeling to it. It’s only real feature is a mouth full of sharp teeth, but it can’t talk and only uses it to smile at its friends. A friendly monster :)

Lilith Nearsight (she/they): Pmmm/magical girl sona. It’s not her real name, just a stage name she uses as a magical girl. Their magic power is flash stepping and phasing through things, and their weapon of choice is a mace. She’s 17 but otherwise she’s just me as a magical girl.

Lexroe Lennox (they/them): Homestuck trollsona. A burgundy blood that lives in dumpsters and collects knives they find. Kinda scrappy but chill. Likes to say “babydoll.” In love with the Condesce but only bc shes hot.

My other trollsona is a purple blood named Vimmie Sapher but that’s just bc i think purple bloods are fun.

Less Nicols (she/they): Homestuck humansona. It’s just me. but homestuck.

Little Nametaker/LN (he?): Homestuck carapacian sona. Last hs one I swear. He’s just a little dude. Dersite. He talks big game despite not being able to talk, also he really can’t fight. He takes down the names of the derse prisoners and tries to befriend the nice ones.

Coffee (he/she/they): Fursona. idk it’s a deer that got some glasses on it. Can either be a white tailed deer or reindeer, depending on what I’m Vibing with. I just think deers are neat.

Ruby (she/her) is a robot version of Coffee, and is my fnaf sona. She has an axe.

Normandale Lankley (she/they): Smile For Me oc/sona. They went to the Habitat for just general depression stuff, and can be cheered up by destroying old photos of themself.

*Nijen (he/she/they) is a Sereb, a human-like creature that evolved from birds rather than apes. Kind of a vriska, also kind of a gamzee. Kind of a little shit, but only for The Funzies. actually isn’t that much of an asshole. They’re super low-key, but say the fuck word a lot. She’s also a sex worker but I need to do more research on that line of work before I can say anything about it.

*Charlotte (he/she) is a porcelain doll possessed by the ghost of some dipshit. He’s an ass sometimes, but can become a big ole softie if the player chooses the right options. Wants to be a goth but alas, is stuck inside a pretty pink doll. Really just wants some love. I’ll give her some love :(

*Shirabeth Miller (she/her) is a lesbian who wants to become a cowboy. tbh I had a whole thing typed out about her in a google doc but I lost it :( All you need to know rn is that she is kind and precious.

*Rachel Calypso (she/her) is a hypochondriac robot fox possessed by a girl fnaf-style. She is loud and just wants to party. I have a lot more to say about her but i’m very tired so it’ll have to wait. she’s based on an older oc except this one is nicer.

*Cairo (he/him) is a dude that got fused with a cat like the doggirl in fma. He is soft and I love him, even though he has kind of an edgy style that makes him look intimidating. He chooses hugs not drugs. I made him ironically as like a “sexy catboy” but then i gave him a tragic backstory whoops. he’s chunky and i wish to hold him.

[justpaddingtonthings]

Good Omens As Things Said At My School

Crowley, talking to the other demons in hell about the animals on their heads: Just call it a fursona, you fools

Gabriel: Your heart rate is extremely high, my sanity is extremely low, we can balance each other out.

Aziraphale: I want food, can we go to *points to California Pizza Kitchen* 🅱️alifornia 🅱️izza 🅱️itche- WAIT NO

Anathema: Do you think if I put these jump ropes outside people will kill themselves?

Newt: Do you think Rasputin read homestuck?

Adam: Sometimes you need a little whiplash to get you started

Pepper: Please don’t say I sound like (insert the name of any of the them) over the phone

Wensleydale: Clad in thick furs and leathers— I’m not thick!

Brian: this is so sad, despacito, play something sad

Madame Tracy: I love you I swear

Shadwell: I think I’m losing feeling in my toes

[hyperfixatinglove]

The ask game qyestions with Kyle since you asked for it 💕💕💕 ily

ily  💕

💥- How does your F/O react to loud sudden noises?

String of fucks and other surprised swear words.

If it’s bombers the swears sound more annoyed than surprised.

💘- What was the moment your F/O fell completely in love with you/ realized they were in love with you?

Now this is hard, because I haven’t thought about this as deeply as I should have because I like thinking about this scenario!

Around the time where Rais kidnaps Jade (and thus me)? Before that I’m not in as major danger and Kyle and Jade are there to back me up but when we get kidnapped Kyle snaps because he’s so worried for us both and thinks something along the lines of “I can’t lose her! Wait... what” A sort of a small ‘oh I’m in love’ realization towards me and if someone asked exactly when he fell for me he’d be unable to answer because those feelings just crept up on him-

🐶- If your F/O was a furry what would their fursona be? Or just general "what animal would your F/O be"

Oh yeah my favorite question!

I can see him being some animal that climbs extremely well, considering all parkour he does. 

Maybe a raccoon? I don’t want to go for obvious monkey, raccoon’s are cuter!

🌺- Did your F/O need helping asking you out? Or did they just go for it?

He just went for it after Rahim spilled the secret of his feelings. I do consider my fic about this subject to be canon, but I’m still working on the timeline (should I make a post?)

So in a way he needed help from Rahim.

🔥- What kind of hijinks and shenanigans do you and your F/O get up to?

Couple things.

Competition who can kill most infected with dropkick

“Praise the sun” meme every morning

Rahim drags us to do some stupid shit every once in a while

Also we get into Rais’ bullshit 

🍝- What's your favorite meal together?

Anything that fills the stomach really!

After the whole zombie apocalypse, every meal is precious!

But if we had to pick absolute favorite it’d probably something home-cooked like fish soup.

🎃- It's Halloween! Do you and your F/O dress up? Is it a couple's costume? If not what's your go to costumes?

I can’t see Kyle dressing up seriously for Halloween. Rahim, yes but Kyle? Nah.

Maybe something super small like bare-minimum Indiana Jones cosplay for Kyle and minimum witch-aesthetic costume for me?

💝- Does your F/O get you a lot of gifts? Which one is your favorite?

Yes! My favorite is the amount of teddy bears / other stuffed animals, he knows I love those ♥

💤- What's the sleeping position you and your F/O end up in most nights if you share a bed?

My head in his chest is the most usual, both laying on our sides!

🌹- What's your F/O's love language? What's your love language?

He tends to go for both action and words, like protecting me from any threat or saying how he’s glad I’m alive- That kind of stuff.

Mine tends to be more verbal, the most usual compliment you hear me say how amazing Kyle is, because he simply is. I keep on talking how important he is to me etc.

[hoe-for-ares]

AU in which Red Rising is just a futuristic roleplay held in a chat full of teenage boys...

l posted once about it, but never went in detail. I was getting bored, so I wanted to make a list of the boyos from the AU - the homies behind the characters they are playing, duh! I imagine them having a roleplay chat and a homie-talking chat, that is mostly a voice-call never-ending conversation that is occurring while they are also roleplaying. Internet homies, also!

Feel free to add more.

Darrow - played by a 16 y/o Scottish boy, a know-it-all-mf, with an extensive knowledge. *Big nerd, fanatic of Ender’s Game and Star Wars. *Where does this dude even fit so much Ancient Greek history? *‘’Wait, why would someone even spend their time reading this crap???’’ - the homies in the chat. *All his friends created big, powerful Gold personas to shame him Red persona, but then Darrow went really deep with it and created a whole storyline about inequality and slavery, all in a long shower session. *No one took him seriously, but Darrow was dead serious - and also no one, maybe aside of Roque and Nero, didn’t really care what the hell he was talking about, but they followed him anyway because it was about badass warriors conquering and torn mfs apart! *He keeps deleting and rewriting his phrases, correlates everything with history and art, making the roleplay to seem wayyyy too serious. *He is anxious as shit if he doesn’t GET THIS LINE RIGHT! 

Sevro - played by a 14 y/o east-european boy, because no one can nail ‘em swearing better than an east european. *Moved to US recently and doesn’t seem to fit in, it makes him to not have many real life friends and not feel welcomed anywhere he goes. *He and Cassius are at the same high school, but since Sevro is a little freshman goblin, Cassius doesn’t fw him and ignores him. *Thus, Sevro acts like he hates him in the group chat and roleplay, but he only really is hella intimidated by him.  *His dad is a super cool dude and joins the gang’s games and conversations as often as he can. *Sevro doesn’t like that his father is much more liked than him within the group. *Listens to rock as a way of living and sunk in heavy metal as a coping mechanism.  *Big and proud furry. Has an IG dedicated to his fursona. *Relationships?? BLEAH. They are for suckers.  *But he has a ‘secret’ thing for muscular, tall and intimidating video game girls. Denies his affinity, though.  *Gang acts like they believe him when he insists he doesn’t care about those kind of girls and no girls in general, but Tactus is not fooled so easily and taunts him a lot by creating Victra.  *Also plays Uncle Narol because he wanted the chance to be the father figure since the gang always sees him as a little boy and treat him as such.  *He recalls every hoggish thing he heard from his father for Uncle Narol’s role, but creates his own expressions for Sevro’s.  Tactus - a 16 y/o french boy, neighbor with Roque.  *His only type of humor is yo mama jokes. *Gang is tired of Tactus’s obsession with their mothers, but Tactus doesn’t lose any chance and always recalls their mama in conversation... it is odd sometimes.  *He might have some mommy-issues.  *Also plays Deanna as a way to parody off Darrow’s real life mother, but he really started to get attached to the character. *He lives with his brother’s, that are always mocking him and embarrassing him every time he is in a voice-call conversation.  *But Tactus ain’t having any of this and screams at them - auch. *’’CLOSE YOUR MICROPHONE, COCK-FACE! YOU ARE FUCKING MY EARDRUMS!’’ - Sevro *He kinda wants to cry when his brothers do this, but he acts all tough. Homies can sense the shaking in his voice, but they act as they don’t hear it so Tactus can think he succeeded into fooling them.  *His brothers always force him to drink as a way of theirs of entertaining.  *Most of the time, he stumbles and vomits, no matter how hard he tried to act as one of them. This is the pure comedy his brothers are talking about! *Once he succeeded into drinking a whole bottle of beer without puking. He is really proud of his achievement.  *Groupchat knows all about it.  Roque - played by a 16 y/o french boy.  *Has a funny accent. *Homies are always laughing at him because of his fuddy-duddy accent.  *Tactus, too, which makes Roque hella sad.  *He doesn’t show his sadness and acts unbothered and way too stoic for being hurt because of their stupid charade.  *He really is deeply infuriated.  *Crushing on Tactus 24/7, but won’t show it - only his character is suspiciously close to his’. *Like...always privately sticking to him.  *No one knows what is going on in his private chat with Tactus. What are they roleplaying about? Hmm...  *He is really worried about Tactus’ mental health and brings him over his house as often as he can.  *Has some blessed asf parents, always lenient and nice. Accepted Tactus as part of their own family since his is way too fucked up.  *Rich as shit.  *Talks as pompous as possible. *Always reading and subtly bragging about what smart things he read, by quoting long and complicated verses out of his ancient poetry, early edition books, wrapped in animal skin.  *Kinda jealous of Darrow’s extensive knowledge.  *He was the one who brought Adrius in the group chat... no one knows how the hell he met such a shady dude.  Cassius - played by a 17 y/o american boy. *Knows Sevro personally, but won’t really give a fuck about him.  *Kinda ignores him irl and in game, too.  *His brothers all have curly hair, but he doesn’t - so of course his character has the perfect, craved-by-God, golden curls! ‘’Fuck you, Mother nature! If you didn’t want to give me the curls, I gave them to me myself!’’ *Doesn’t really know how curly hair works - did his character just went into a dirty ass fight and is full of grim? Bruh, whatever! His hair still shines and bounces like a little angel in Heaven! *He is bisexual irl, too, but tries to hide it. *His character is embracing his bisexuality, but he surely ain’t bisexual! No, nope!  *Hides his affinity for boys by making no-homo jokes and calling dudes gay for showing the slightest closeness to him - dayum, he carves for it, but no one needs to know!  *Thinks Darrow is cute, but as a homie, ya know? *I mean, he is totally going on a no-homo trip with Darrow. *He always listens to him and carves to talk to him the most, ignoring the rest of the squad most of the time.  *Also, always asks Darrow to teach him about ancient stuff he won’t care about irl, but once Darrow talks about them...ugh, they become so interesting! He is such a cool bro, dude, he like...knows how to explain thing to his bro!  *Praises the shit out of Darrow. Always mentions him when he is gone. You know, as a good homie does!  *Tactus ain’t fooled by any of it and makes subtle and snarky commentaries about his behavior.  Fitchner - played by Sevro’s dad. *A cool mf. *Proudly laughing his ass off when he hears how creative his son is with his language. *He knows damn well he is his son’s inspiration - beyond proud of knowing he created a genius.  *Single father.  *Joins the boys chat pretty often.  *Fakes reading something next to Sevro so he can listen what the squad is talking about via voice-chat or to keep up with the events in their roleplay because it makes him to feel good and young.  *He taunts his son irl and in game.  *Sometimes Sevro feels humiliated by his father, so he leaves the chat and/or the roleplay. Fitchner always brings him back and promises him not to mix in their game again.  *Squad doesn’t want him to leave, so they beg him to stay every single time when Fitchner says he about to let them play alone. *He can’t resist and promises them that he will come every time when he has a little spare time. *Sometimes acts like he is really busy and can’t join, when he really only wants Sevro to spend his time with his only friends being unbothered or mad by his father’s presence.  *Squad made him to be Ares because they worship him and call him the leader of the chat.  Adrius - played by a 16 y/o british boy.  *Has the stereotypical unintelligible british accent.  *Roque brought him in the group, out of nowhere, long after the roleplay started.  *No one really knows what’s up with this weird ass dude.  *Is online 24/7, but rarely speaks - he is the dude always peeking at the corners and watching everyone talking.  *When he shows up, his character has complex, long monologues when everyone else, aside of Darrow and Roque, can barely spell.  *He doesn’t fw with anyone’s plans and wreck them completely, by popping out of nowhere and destroying everything.  *But squad kinda enjoys it because he creates a good amount of drama within their rp.  *He types hella fast, like dude would spend his entire time sending messages. *Doesn’t he, like, has any friends?  *He never socialize within the group chat, he only breaths in the voice call.  *Squad created an anti-Adrius chat without him, but keeps him in the roleplay because his weird ass plan-wrecking character is interesting.  *He is so mysterious, with his character and all, that he resembles a chocolate egg with surprises. You never know what to expect.  Nero - played by a 16 y/o american boy. *Brought by Cassius long before Adrius came.  *Squad accepted him, but he doesn’t really fw them. *He is pretty shy and wanted to quit the group chat, since he wasn’t really talking much.  *Also, first time when Cassius suggested him to join roleplaying, he declined.  *A big history fanatic, always researching about war and dictators, corruption and tyrants.  *He will mainsplain every single detail in the lives of the big bad guy’s of the history.  *He will also get all ruffled if you don’t know the exact date in which WW1 started - like, are you even paying attention in the class, Karen??  *Gets excited every time Netflix drops a documentary about WW2.  *Cassius brought him the chat because he wanted to obligate him talk about anything else, but sad, miserable historic facts.  *Also, asked him to join roleplaying so, instead of focusing on the history of amok dictators, he can fight against them in a cool, space-knight way! *Became interested in roleplaying after he heard about Darrow’s plotline, all about inequality and war, thus considering it will give him the chance of shining and playing an old good tyrant. *Cassius hated the shit out of the idea, but Darrow was in ecstasy hearing they will have a big bad guy.  *Didn’t really join in the first part of the roleplay due still being really shy and clumsy at it, only joining when Darrow asked him for the execution part, but once he got used to it...oh, boy!  *He once joked about Adrius being Nero irl in the anti-Adrius group chat. Roque told Adrius about it and he liked the idea so much, he decided to make his character Nero’s son! Roque was kicked out from the anti-Adrius group chat just after that, Mustang - played by Cassius. *Why? Well, Darrow kinda cute... *He is just kidding, duuuh! It’s not about Darrow. It’s about playing a beautiful,tough girl so he can ‘’sharpen’’ his homies!  *He is a senior, so he has experience with girls, duh! He can play a girl just fine and give them tips on how to handle one. *OOPS! Sike! You can’t handle Mustang! Nice one, Cassius.  *Forced Darrow to chase Mustang as a way to entertain himself.  *He felt his soul going uwu when Meaper was going on.  *Expresses his feelings through a cocky girl as a way of coping with his feelings. *Made Mustang Adrius’ sister as a way of flipping off Adrius and his plans, thinking Adrius will lose his shit when someone will disturb his perfectionist plans and monologues just as much as he does to others, but it just fueled Adrius’ weird imagination and fitted into his agenda way too perfectly.  *Now he regrets his decision since he is obligated to spend a little extra time around Adrius.  Victra - played by Tactus *Created her for two sole reason. *Fucking around with Sevro’s not-so-secret passion for dangerously muscular fictional woman that can step on him any time. *Flexing fictional muscles in front of the squad by creating a super-giant-titan-ninja-classy-monster-woman to kick their space-knight asses. Even his own, too, because is funny to see women kicking metallic asses of knights, duuh! *And maybe for fw Darrow a bit, by making Victra all flirt with his shy ass. So, let’s say...three reasons.  *He gathered extensive knowledge from all the girls he knows about what the hell a girl likes - had no idea ‘till then, but now he knows what girls prefers the most: slaughter.  Feel free to add!!!

[whitestopper]

Reasons why LOONA and Sonic The Hedgehog exist together

LOONA exist on the Mobius Strip; STH characters call their world 'Mobius'

LOONA has the sub-unit 'Odd Eye Circle', consisting of three members who all sing Chaotic; STH has Team Chaotix, also made up of three members

SA2 implies that there are multiple dimensions (as Sonic and Blaze inhabit different dimensions); LOONA's sub-units each have their own layer of reality

You could argue that the Chaos Emeralds are the equivalent to yyxy's fruits in that it provides powers to users with specific qualities

Sonic just... gotta go fast; LOONA had to run in Hi High to fulfil their purpose (whatever that is), as well as 1/3 in Love&Live

I'm not saying that LOONA's animals are what their sonicsonas would be but

Uh shit what else

I mean, Sonic characters are often closely associated with their colour scheme; LOONA members have their own signature colours

But if Team Chaotix are OEC, then who's flying the plane who is everyone else?

This may be the hottest take on this side of the Mobius Strip but I feel like Team Sonic (Sonic, Tails and Knuckles) + Amy would be yyxy.

This would, unfortunately, most likely place Amy in the role of Chuu however, negating the inherent gayness of Heart Attack. Unless I have a love interest for her wake her up or something (but I'm not creating an OC I sWEAR)

Naturally Sonic would be Yves: a natural leader who says 'fuck cops' and lives his life. This would put Tails as Go Won, whom I interpret as having a mentor/mentee and/or sibling-like relationship to Yves (Sonic)

Thus Knuckles becomes Olivia Hye.

Hye.... more like w'hye' am I doing this, am I right?

As a guarded person, Knuckles struggles to connect to the other three (except maybe Tails, who in this interpretation, also has a sibling-like relationship to Knuckles, albeit reluctant), who in turn fail to fully trust him when they escape Eden, ruled by... Dr Eggman.

But then who would the ViVi to Sonic's Yves be... hmmm...

Is there perchance... a shy, quiet member of the STH world... somewhat immortal due to not being entirely human (or like the others, at least)... mayhaps with memory issues... who seems to act as Sonic's equal...

If you guessed Omega, you're right! So-

Oh wait, it's Shadow. Oh. Oh my- I literally just made a Sonadow LOONA AU

Well, I've set the pile on fire, might as well make sure it all burns.

Hope B#RN comes out soon. Anyway

So for the other 4 members, I'm a bit loose with the placements.

If you haven't watched the Colour Theory video on YouTube, I'd recommend it.

A basic part of it is that each member has a parallel member, and honestly?

I feel like Rouge should be Heejin if it would put her at odds with Knuckles

But then she'd be singing duets with one of the other three and idk, she doesn't really interact with them much so it doesn't work in that regard.

Blaze and Silver could probably rock the 2jin team, which, again, would remove the gayness from some of the songs. Sorry.

(but if Hyunjin transforms into her fursona, what does Blaze transform into)

So Rouge would be Haseul, I suppose. And Cream is probably Yeojin. Which would add an interesting layer to My Melody, which has been theorized to be about a possessed Haseul tricking Yeojin...

That could work. I guess....

Also if you try to make this about the real-life members/voice actors/singers, I will remove your appendix. Leave them out of this crackshit.

So yeah. This is it.

My shitty, overthought Sonadow LOONA AU.

[manchestereyes]

things actually said by dan and phil in the year of our lord 2018

i will find you in any world, phil!

i’ve got a tactical shotgussy, we’re fine

just bang him in the face and we’ll be all good

stay with me!

we need to get together and [it’ll] be alright

*incoherent babbling* don’t leave me behind!

and us screaming right now, that’s not at all an issue ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

you have to get prepared to avenge my death and give me the rub rubs to pick me back up (WHAT??? THE HECK?????)

i’m gonna give you some sweeeet rubs (philip lester i swear to god)

we can just build a fort and wait out this storm together

DAD

let’s just get out of here i hate it here - dom!phil strikes again (immediately wanting to get dan out of a dangerous situation the moment dan expresses any discomfort?? i’m!! fine!!!!)

we could make a life together up there (I’M NOT CRYING NOPE)

phil, your biceps are wonderful and you have nothing to be ashamed of

dan making phil’s happy little “yeeeee” sound

i’m ready for blood *stares at dan*

that’s like my fursona, it’s my personsona

looty patooty show me that booty

would you not wanna see blonde markiplier’s butt?

“i also know how to throw your mum down the stairs” “that’s not a sexual insult, that’s just really mean”

“i like your mum, i’m sorry” “i’m not gonna tell her about that, don’t worry” (in the softest voices?? i’m fine!!!!)

“danny! open me! release yourself!” (someone stop this man)

i don’t know if it’s a butterfly or a bullet (that’s....quite concerning)

phil encouraging dan after nearly dying

phil, i’m dead-dead (why does this sound like baby or dog speak i’m???)

BONUS

build a fort out of pillows and love each other

phil shushing dan with the fondest face when dan starts getting too loud?? alright???