#WTF IS GOING ON

[silvergoldsea]

Every time I watch Hannibal: WHO TURNED THE LIGHTS OUT?

Was it this dark when they shot each episode? Did they make it darker just for fun? DON'T HIDE DR. CHEEKBONES'S LIGHT BENEATH A BUSHEL, turn up the light. You picked his plaid and paisley outfit combos, the least you could do is make it light enough so we can tell what colors they are.

OPENING CREDITS BLASTING ME WITH THE LIGHT OF OVER 9000 SUNS (I guess that explains why the faces are all melty)

Oh god my retinas. I'll never see again. BACK INTO THE STYGIAN NIGHT and now I can't see anything. It's either Will and the ravenstag in a forest or Antony Dimmond and a sentient coatrack heading to Narnia through a wardrobe. Wait, maybe it's Dr. Lithuanian Fuckboy with claws and a nice rack?

I know this is a show about the darkness of human hearts etc etc, but I hope to god (aka sweaty Will Graham) that someday they remaster these and add in some lamps. If George Lucas can digitally give Jabba some leg tentacles, surely we can throw some additional lumens up in this bitch.

Hannibal Rewatches be like:

1st watch: Gaaaahhh, 😠 this show is so hard to finish. I can't understand a thing. They're so pretentious it makes me angry. Another stupid queerbait. 😮‍💨

2nd watch: This show is a masterpiece!!! 😩🥹Nothing is ever as perfect as Bryan Fuller's Hannibal. This is gonna be my fixation for 3 years. It's so dramatic, so emotional, so artistic, so phenomenal 😭😭😭 teacup metaphor my beloved.

3rd watch: This show is so funny 😂 It's literally a romcom hilariously cloaked in dramatic cinematography for the purpose of hidden humor. The fact that the producer wishes it to be a 'pretentious' show is a cherry on top. They're so unserious 😆

4th watch: If they just f**** NORMALLY kissed at the first episode NORMALLY, none of this would have happened. Hannibal is a failboy loser. Teacup metaphor my ass, just say you're sorry asswipe.

5th watch: something is inherently wrong with me....

[troythecatfish]

Genuinely Dystopian

[zhelin-thames]

Fuck off Satan

inspired by this post

Danny Phantom, the Ghost King and part-time Justice League member, stood in the Watchtower briefing room, arms crossed and very much trying to look professional. The meeting had been dragging on, and his phone had already buzzed twice, much to Batman’s annoyance.

The third time, it started vibrating again, drawing glares from the Dark Knight and a few raised eyebrows from other Leaguers.

"Phantom," Batman said, his voice a growl.

Danny sighed, pulling out his phone. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Ghost King business doesn’t wait. Let me just—" He hit the answer button with a sharp jab.

"What?!" Danny snapped, glaring at the screen.

The room fell silent. They hadn’t seen Phantom lose his temper like this before.

On the other end, a smooth, deep voice oozed through the speaker.

"Respectfully, my liege, I ask that you reconsider my proposal on—"

Danny cut him off mid-sentence. "Not today, Satan." With an exasperated sigh, he ended the call and pocketed the phone without another thought.

The reaction was immediate. Superman chuckled, Green Lantern grinned, and Flash burst into laughter. Even Wonder Woman's lips twitched upward.

"Nice," Hal said, giving Phantom a thumbs-up. "Solid delivery."

Danny waved it off. "What can I say? He’s persistent, and I’ve got no time for his nonsense today."

But not everyone was laughing. Constantine sat ramrod straight, pale as a sheet, his cigarette dangling precariously from his lips.

"Danny," Constantine croaked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Was that the Satan? Like... Lucifer Morningstar Satan?"

Danny blinked, tilting his head. "Uh, yeah? Who else would it be? Dude’s been pestering me about a territorial dispute with the Infinite Realms for weeks."

The entire room went quiet again, and all eyes turned to Constantine. The seasoned warlock looked like he might pass out on the spot.

"You just hung up on the actual Devil," Constantine hissed, his British accent thick with disbelief.

Danny shrugged. "Yeah, and? He’s one of my subjects. I’m the Ghost King. I outrank him. If he wants to whine about his little hellish boundaries, he can take a number."

Constantine’s eyes darted around the room, desperately seeking someone to share in his existential terror, but the rest of the League didn’t seem to grasp the gravity of what just happened.

"You outrank..." Constantine trailed off, rubbing his temples. "Bloody hell, kid, you don’t just hang up on Lucifer!"

Danny smirked, leaning casually against the wall. "Oh, I do. And I’ll do it again if he calls during League meetings. I’ve got enough on my plate without playing arbiter for Hell’s bureaucracy."

Clark patted Constantine on the shoulder. "Relax, John. Sounds like Danny has it under control."

John groaned. "We’re all doomed."

Danny, unfazed, pulled out his phone again and started texting. "Now, if we’re done freaking out, can we get back to the meeting? Or do I need to block Satan’s number to make that happen?"

The League collectively laughed, except for Constantine, who was muttering something about needing stronger wards and a drink.

[palepinkferriswheel]

the year is 2050. the new season of only murders in the building is out. no one lives in arconia anymore because everyone has been murdered. charles, mabel and oliver have now become ghost busters because arconia is haunted.

[tomahachi12]

Crazy btch is just too much fun to draw

[pixal2]

I just noticed something

How the FUCK does this boy sleep

[a-slashersfinalgirl]

Oh naur

[holyblanchett]

Kathryn liking Agathario edits on Instagram and Marvel being the biggest Agathario supporter. This was not on my 2024 bingo card.

[daenysthedreamer101]

HBO's security apparently:

WHY AM I SEEING LEAKS EVERYWHERE???

[forest-trees]

[jaubaius]

Source

[calistra1star]

just this

[shiftythrifting]

idk if this counts but there was an entire ski lift car in my local homegoods (and it was paid for???)

what the fuck

[herejusttosufferalong]

We got the long awaited Spain dump from A. Yay. 😝

Lmfao OFC we did

💀💀💀

[nqueso-emergency]

I'm up early to catch this silly cowboy flight and I see that Lou has been confirmed to NOT support Trump, Ryan really killed Ryliver and announced he's celibate and loves Jesus, Bestie boos weep, our beloathed tiktok star will be losing tiktok (thus her income. RIP concert tickets and tats??), and most likely Eddie will be celibate now too because Ryan is really trying to model Eddie after himself and tell a story about a straight man who loves his family and friends.