#WRITING NOTES

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Fear of Abandonment

Abandonment - desertion or substantial leave-taking by a parent or primary caregiver of their custodial and other responsibilities to a dependent. Dependents are usually children but may also be adult individuals who are ill.

Abandonment Reaction - a feeling of emotional deprivation, loss of support, and loneliness experienced by children who have been deserted or neglected by a parent or primary caregiver. Abandonment reaction is also experienced by adults who have lost a loved one on whom they have depended.

As humans, we depend on others for survival.

Starting from birth, the need to be fed, bathed, clothed, sheltered, and cared for is essential for survival and optimal function.

Because healthy human development requires physical and emotional care, fear of abandonment can result from unmet needs in either childhood or adulthood (Fraley, 2019).

The impact of abandonment issues can have devastating effects on personal wellbeing, relationships, and long-term mental health (Fraley, 2019).

Fear of Abandonment

Not a clinical diagnosis in and of itself.

It is a form of anxiety and a symptom of several clinical disorders, including both mood and personality disorders.

Individuals who experience abandonment are also more likely to have long-term mental health issues (Schoenfelder et al., 2011).

Those who struggle with abandonment issues have a persistent fear of rejection or isolation. It is often characterized by codependency, insecurity, and maladaptive views of power, competence, and intimacy, which makes interpersonal relationships and daily functioning difficult (D’Rozario & Pilkington, 2021).

Signs of Fear of Abandonment

Fear of abandonment can manifest as anxiety, insecurity, and isolation.

Symptoms of abandonment issues can begin in childhood and extend throughout the lifespan if left untreated.

Signs of abandonment issues in children include:

Acting “clingy” or experiencing emotional dysregulation when left alone

Excessively worrying or panicking about losing someone close

Generally fearing being alone

Getting sick more often due to stress

Children may get anxious in new settings, situations, or when dropped off at school or daycare. Symptoms may also lead to isolation, low self-esteem, and unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse and eating disorders (Mack et al., 2011).

In adults, signs of abandonment issues include:

Pushing people away. This presents as withdrawal, exhibiting trust issues, and the inability to be open and honest with loved ones.

Codependency. Codependency is when individuals rely on other people to meet all their emotional needs. People who become overly needy and possessive in relationships are often codependent.

Anger. They might allow others to get close to them but then become aggressive, reactive, or volatile if they feel threatened or upset.

Long-term effects of abandonment often lead to general anger, mood swings, and lack of confidence (Mack et al., 2011). Fear of abandonment is primarily characterized by the inability to establish or maintain healthy relationships.

Fear of Abandonment in Relationships

Fear of abandonment can negatively affect any relationship (Fraley, 2002). These include professional, intimate/romantic, and social relationships, as well as casual acquaintances.

People who experience fear of abandonment may have ruminating and irrational thoughts (anxiety), question other people’s motives (mistrust), or make false assumptions about how another person interprets an interaction.

For example, a partner might have irrational or excessive fears that their spouse is having an affair because they had been cheated on in the past. The partner constantly accuses their spouse, creating arguments and conflict. The lack of trust and discord creates distance between them, and the couple stops communicating and grows apart.

Signs that abandonment fears are negatively affecting a relationship include (Fraley, 2002):

People-pleasing or one partner always giving too much or reaching out

Envy or jealousy of other people’s relationships

Inability to trust another person

Constant feeling of insecurity in the relationship

Needing to control all decisions and aspects of the relationship

Inability to provide or accept physical or emotional intimacy

Causes of Abandonment Issues

A variety of experiences play a role in fear of abandonment and abandonment issues.

These include (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2010):

Physical or emotional abuse or neglect

Any trauma experienced because of abandonment

Feeling rejected by caregivers

The death of a parent or primary caregiver

Being emotionally or physically abandoned by a friend or loved one

Fear of abandonment generally begins in childhood and results from adverse childhood experiences (or ACEs).

ACEs describe different types of stressful and traumatic experiences, such as neglect, abuse, or traumatic loss (Feriante et al., 2023).

The first year of life is impactful to a child’s development, and a child’s attachment style is formed by the age of five (Feriante et al., 2023).

Abandonment issues are closely linked to insecure attachment styles and the inability to form close, stable relationships.

People will often choose partners or be drawn to relationships that fit patterns from their past, based on attachment styles.

Fear of Abandonment and Attachment styles

Bowlby (1969) defines attachment as a lasting psychological connection between two human beings. As the founder of attachment theory, he believed that parent–child interactions early in life determine cognitive and behavioral social connectedness throughout the lifespan.

Secure attachment styles are demonstrated by a person who can trust and be open to others (Bowlby, 1969). A securely attached person is responsive, warm, and can form healthy close relationships.

On the other hand, insecure attachment results when children have caregivers who are either inconsistently available and nonresponsive or completely unavailable and neglectful (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2010).

The 3 types of insecure attachment styles (Bowlby, 1969):

Avoidant attachment styles are seen in those who cope with abandonment issues by not allowing others to get close. Individuals with avoidant attachment are distant, withdrawn, and not trusting of others. They fear commitment and shut down or end relationships to avoid conflict.

Anxious attachment styles are seen in those who latch on to others and create intensely close, codependent relationships to cope with fears of abandonment. People with this attachment style seem needy and have trouble separating themselves from their partner. They are emotionally reactive and perceive conflict as a threat that their partner will leave them.

Individuals with disorganized attachment styles are uncomfortable with closeness and intimacy and may lack empathy. Disorganized attachment is often associated with antisocial, narcissistic, or BPD traits.

Fortunately, even if insecure attachment styles are developed in childhood, the problematic behaviors and fear of abandonment associated with them can be treated and, ultimately, changed.

Overcoming Fear of Abandonment

While fear of abandonment is associated with many mental health and mood disorders, it is highly treatable.

Individuals who seek help can improve personal wellbeing and interpersonal relationships.

Therapy Treatment Options

Attachment-based therapy uses a supportive client–therapist bond to address issues with mental health, such as depression and anxiety. It targets thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and interpersonal communication that clients avoid or over-amplify based on early-developed attachment styles (Pilkington et al., 2021).

Behavioral therapy incorporates talk therapy to root out unhealthy behaviors and habits that are related to the mental health conditions underlying the fear of abandonment.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps clients identify faulty thinking patterns or cognitive distortions and replace them with more adaptive thinking patterns. This evidence-based form of therapy is effective at treating anxiety and depression and improving relationships through changing perspectives and communication patterns.

Psychodynamic therapy encourages clients to identify and resolve unhealthy unconscious and conscious thoughts about past experiences. Through improving self-awareness and understanding, clients can see how their past may influence present thoughts and behaviors and make changes.

Psychoeducation provides information to a client regarding a diagnosis, treatment options, and underlying theories (such as attachment theory) that may contribute to abandonment fears. Often, understanding and labeling problematic behaviors and fears can be one of the most helpful steps in healing.

Sources: 1 2 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs On Attachment ⚜ Avoidant ⚜ Anxious ⚜ Secure ⚜ Disorganized

[literaryvein-references]

Writing Notes & References

Alchemy ⚜ Antidote to Anxiety ⚜ Attachment ⚜ Autopsy

Art: Elements ⚜ Principles ⚜ Photographs ⚜ Watercolour

Bruises ⚜ Caffeine ⚜ Color Blindness ⚜ Cruise Ships

Children ⚜ Children's Dialogue ⚜ Childhood Bilingualism

Dangerousness ⚜ Drowning ⚜ Dystopia ⚜ Dystopian World

Culture ⚜ Culture Shock ⚜ Ethnocentrism & Cultural Relativism

Emotions: Anger ⚜ Fear ⚜ Happiness ⚜ Sadness

Emotional Intelligence ⚜ Genius (Giftedness) ⚜ Quirks

Facial Expressions ⚜ Laughter & Humour ⚜ Swearing & Taboo

Fantasy Creatures ⚜ Fantasy World Building

Generations ⚜ Literary & Character Tropes

Fight Scenes ⚜ Kill Adverbs

Food: Cooking Basics ⚜ Herbs & Spices ⚜ Sauces ⚜ Wine-tasting ⚜ Aphrodisiacs ⚜ List of Aphrodisiacs ⚜ Food History ⚜ Cocktails ⚜ Literary & Hollywood Cocktails ⚜ Liqueurs

Genre: Crime ⚜ Horror ⚜ Fantasy ⚜ Speculative Biology

Hate ⚜ Love ⚜ Kinds of Love ⚜ The Physiology of Love

How to Write: Food ⚜ Colours ⚜ Drunkenness

Jargon ⚜ Logical Fallacies ⚜ Memory ⚜ Memoir

Magic: Magic System ⚜ 10 Uncommon ⚜ How to Choose

Moon: Part 1 2 ⚜ Related Words

Mystical Items & Objects ⚜ Talisman ⚜ Relics ⚜ Poison

Pain ⚜ Pain & Violence ⚜ Poison Ivy & Poison Oak

Realistic Injuries ⚜ Rejection ⚜ Structural Issues ⚜ Villains

Symbolism: Colors ⚜ Food ⚜ Numbers ⚜ Storms

Thinking ⚜ Thinking Styles ⚜ Thought Distortions

Terms of Endearment ⚜ Ways of Saying "No" ⚜ Yoga

Compilations: Plot ⚜ Character ⚜ Worldbuilding ⚜ For Poets ⚜ Tips & Advice

all posts are queued. will update this every few weeks/months. send questions or requests here ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[itsawritblr]

Me about 100 times a day.

Later, when I read my notes.

[quillver]

WRITING TIP: Make your dialogue beats do more.

A beat isn’t just filler; it’s how you write the silence.

The best beats reveal what’s felt, not said:

– hesitation

– discomfort

– tension

– hidden motive

What’s a beat?

A dialogue beat is a small action or thought that shapes rhythm and reveals what’s left unsaid.

Avoid:

“Sure,” she said, with a shrug.

(Filler beat. Adds no emotional value.)

Use beats with intent:

“Sure,” she said, without looking up from her phone.

(dismissive)

“It’s fine,” she said. The fight was over. And she’d lost.

(self-censorship)

“I’m fine.” He lined up the silverware again - and again.

(anxiety)

A good beat doesn’t echo the line - it complicates it.

[forgan-forge]

I had surgery a couple days ago, and as a whump writer, I, of course, had to take notes.

So, here’s a bullet list of my experience, for writing purposes or otherwise. I, for one, love putting my characters in hospitals. Also good notes for anxiety about upcoming surgeries, I guess.

Happy writing, my fellow angst-enthusiasts!

Pre-Op:

No eating for 8 hours before the surgery, no drinking for 2-3.

They make you sanitize yourself with chlorhexidine wipes, and they give you a very bad-tasting mouthwash. I had to swab my nose, too, with antiseptic. They make you take everything off and change into a gown. No piercings, either. The chlorhexidine kinda makes your skin yellow. It’s kinda sticky, too.

A bunch of questions when you get back to pre-op, like what meds you’re on, confirming what surgery you’re having and why, what you ate and when you ate it. (Same for drinking.) This gets repeated a lot between different nurses and the anesthesiologist.

They start an IV line early, pretty much as soon as you’re in the bed, mine was attached to fluids which dripped while I was waiting to be wheeled back.

They give a relaxative through IV right before wheeling you back to the operating room. Sometimes they’ll give nausea medicines, too.

Equipment:

5 ECG leads on chest and abdomen.

Heart moniter on index finger.

Blood pressure cuff, usually on the arm opposite of the IV. It’s sometimes set on a timer, other times they’ll activate it manually.

They put a nasal cannula with oxygen in your nose, it’s kind of annoying and the air coming through it is dry and cool. In most cases, they’ll intubate you while under, and you’ll wake up with a sore throat. Other times, a mask is used. I’ve had all three (I think)

In the OR:

They wheel you back on your bed.

They move you (or in most cases, you move yourself) from the bed to the operating table. After the operation is done, they move you back onto the bed because you’ll still be unconscious.

There are huge lights above the operating table, and they look threatening, but by the time you’re back there, you’ll be so out-of-it you probably won’t care.

Most anesthesiologists will ask you to count down from 100 or 10. You’re usually out after 3 counts.

Recovery:

You wake up in the recovery wing, I woke up twice before actually waking up for good. Nurse will attend to you once you’re conscious.

Most patients wake up shortly after anesthesia is stopped.

For all my surgeries, I woke up confused and unsure if the surgery already happened or not. It’s like time traveling. You won’t really know where you are, the first thing I registered was the nasal cannula and the blankets stacked on top of me.

Really groggy when waking up.

Limbs feel really heavy and awkward to move, I stumbled around a lot.

Some dizziness and general uncoordination.

They ask you what you want to drink, I chose Sprite, but they offered juice and water.

They had to wheelchair me out, which I assume is true for most outpatient procedures.

Most modern anesthesia effects wear off in about an hour (but it really depends on your metabolism)

You’ll probably want to sleep the rest of the day, and depending on what pain meds you’re on, you’ll be high whilst taking them.

Someone has to be with you for the first 24 to 48 hours.

Depending on where the procedure was, the skin there will be yellow/orange where they applied iodine. Showering unattended is probably not a good idea for the first day.

Nausea is a common side effect of anesthesia.

Some other notes for anesthesia: it’s like, really weird. They basically paralyze your entire body, and you don’t dream while under. While some people describe general anesthesia effects as a sort-of high, I don’t really think it equates. I was just really confused, I remember having to undress in front of a nurse and I didn’t really care because my brain wasn’t quite working. Honestly, I don’t remember much from the rest of that day. Your passage of time is kinda fucked, the drive home always feels like a blink. I guess it feels more like being drunk, at least for the type I was on. If I was on pain meds, I’m sure it would’ve been different.

Another note: emergency or urgent operations obviously differ, especially if the patient is unconscious. Assessment is a lot quicker, and stabilization is needed before surgery. Diagnostics are needed right after assessment, rather than scheduled pre-surgery for elective operations. Stabilization may occur immediately after assessment, and sterilization is done in the OR. If a patient is incoherent, family is contacted for consent and info. You’ll either go to the PACU or ICU depending on your condition. (Source: I write angst. A lot of angst. Also, I’ve actually had an urgent surgery. It’s a long story. I don’t go near playgrounds anymore.)

[logophilist1982]

Dark academia coffee

[meggannn]

(grits teeth while i write my stupid little fanfic with my awful little words full of bad ideas) most readers will want two cakes. most readers will want two cakes.

[tahbhie]

So you want to write a novel before 2025 runs out, huh?

10 actions you should include in your list to make that dream a reality.

1. Practice Time Blocking  

Trust me, you need it. Allocating specific blocks of time for writing can significantly boost your productivity and help you stay focused. Emphasis on ‘stay focused’.

2. Have an Idea Reservoir or Tank 

Create a dedicated space to store all your ideas during brainstorming sessions or whenever inspiration strikes. I recommend Google Docs and Notion to keep everything organized and easily accessible.

3. Watch More Movies and Read New Books 

There's no better way to expand your horizons than consuming diverse media. This is such a great way to spark fresh ideas and provide new perspectives for your writing.

4. Listen to Writing Podcasts and Join Helpful Newsletters  

Stay updated and inspired by listening to writing podcasts and subscribing to newsletters that offer tips, advice, and industry news. It changes everytime. Who says 2025 would be any different? It's best to be prepared. 

5. Create a Playlist 

Arrange your favorite tracks in a way that suits your writing mood. Music can be a powerful tool to set the tone and mood. It helps you feel relaxed and aid scene projections. It also enhances your creativity.

6. Join an Active Writer's Community 

Yes, it's that important. Whether it's an online forum or a local group, being part of a community provides valuable feedback and critique. Engaging with fellow writers also offer support and motivation.

7. Build Your Social Presence  

I feel this isn't addressed enough. If you want people to get invested in your work, start promoting your book and what you do even before it's finished. Share your journey and let people fall in love with your process and personality.

8. Write a List of Comfortable Spots  

Identify and list the places where you feel most comfortable and productive while writing. Having a go-to spot can help you get into the right mindset.

9. Research Writing Tools 

Explore various writing tools and find the ones that work best for you. Discard the rest to avoid clutter and distraction.

10. Invest in Writing Courses  

If you can, take courses that will help you improve your craft. Courses are now made into digestible sections, covering an important segment of writing in elucidating details, which saves you the hassle of paying high figures for a course.

Lastly, go easy on yourself 

Understand that some days will be unproductive, and others will exceed your expectations. This doesn't make you any less of a writer. Love yourself for what you do, appreciate your work for what it is, and value your effort no matter the outcome. You need to love your work first before others will.

♥♥♥♥♥♥

Happy new year fams 🥳🌹

[docbrownstudies]

notes on margaret's kerrison's immersive storytelling for real and imagined worlds / 10/27/24

[lord-fallen]

ALL-IN-ONE NOTION: “WINTER ARC”

a highly customizable, simplistic but fancy notion template for writers. perfect for organizing novels while keeping it aesthetically-pleasing to look at. guaranteed higher muse and motivation to finish works-in-progress.  to download / copy, click “duplicate” top-right to copy it to your notion. works best with DARK MODE*.

features:

visual and simple overview of wips

chart overview categorizing wips

weekly planning section with a simple to-do list

section for intentions and mindset to help motivation

tags system (e.g. completion status, main tropes, and genres)

writing tracker

please like / reblog if you’re using or interested in using it!

*tip: for switching to dark mode, in your notion go Settings > My settings > Appearance > Select Dark

[estradog]

rb if you like girls (i will be taking notes)

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Antagonist

Antagonist - the opposer or combatant working against the protagonist or leading character and creating the main conflict.

An antagonist is different from an antihero, who is a protagonist lacking traditional heroic qualities.

The antagonist can be one character or a group of characters, but they have to get in the protagonist’s way of pursuing their goals.

In conventional narratives, the antagonist is synonymous with the “bad guy,” while the protagonist represents the “good guy.”

Examples of antagonists include Iago from William Shakespeare’s Othello, Darth Vader from the original Star Wars trilogy, the ancient evil Sauron from Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, and President Snow in The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.

Types of Antagonists

In genre writing—especially in thrillers—antagonists are usually arch-villains, but they don’t have to be people; they can be any oppositional element that thwarts your character’s main desire. Many stories include more than one antagonist. Broadly speaking, there are four different types of antagonists:

Villains: The traditional definition of antagonist is a villain—a “bad guy” in the story, often working for evil purposes to destroy a heroic protagonist. While there can be villainous protagonists, villains are antagonists when they’re not the main character of the story but instead are the main source of conflict for the main characters. There are different types of villains within the category: the mastermind, the anti-villain, the evil villain, the minion or henchman, and the supervillain, to name a few. Examples of classic villain protagonists include Darth Vader from Star Wars, the Joker from the Batman comics, and Captain Ahab from Moby Dick.

Conflict-creators: An antagonist doesn’t have to be a “bad guy.” Sometimes, they’re just a character whose goals are in direct conflict with the protagonist’s, like Mr. Darcy in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, who is constantly at odds with the main character Elizabeth Bennet. Another example of this type of antagonist: Javert, who works to arrest Valjean in Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables.

Inanimate forces: An antagonist doesn’t have to be human—the main antagonist can sometimes be a force, like nature. A good example of an antagonistic force is the sea in Robinson Crusoe.

The protagonist themselves: The main source of conflict in a story can be from within the main character’s own self—their shortcomings or insecurities are keeping them from reaching their goal. A prime example of an internal antagonist is Holden Caulfield in J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye. While Holden comes into conflict with many characters in the novel, the ever-present antagonizing conflict comes from his own obsessions and insecurities. If a story doesn’t have an external antagonizing force but rather seats the conflict within the protagonist, a strong backstory is useful for fueling that inner conflict.

Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[randomwriteups26]

Today's study session.. (tomorrow is my exam) as always studying at night and trying my best to finish my portions...

@juliaxyn @moonstonechampagne @dr-scarlette-witch @angelicasdigitaldiary @pxasee @blushlillyyy @oh-munda-kukkad-kamaal-da

[wordsofmaeve]

Dear Tumblr Diary,

I’ve been searching for the best chocolate chip cookie recipe for ages, and last night as I tested another recipe, it spurred me to reflect on my writing process. (Keep scrolling for a peak at some incredible cookies)

There’s a few reasons I’ve been on the hunt for a perfect CCC recipe:

1. I love chocolate chip cookies (obvious)

2. My childhood family recipe is not my favorite (blasphemy against the sacred kitchen of my mother)

3. I’ve never felt like I’ve found exactly what I’m looking for in a cookie recipe (I’m picky, it’s fine)

Now how is this like searching for the perfect writing process, you ask? Let me explain.

1. I love writing (obvious)

2. The processes I’ve followed throughout my life needs to continue to evolve as I want to improve my craft (uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh curse you growth mindset)

3. What’s worked for me in the past won’t work for me now (starts to sing Changes by David Bowie)

Wow, look at that. It’s almost like art reflects art. And yes, baking is art and if you disagree you can talk to the 3521 pictures of baking and bakes in my camera roll.

I’m thrilled to say that the recipe I tested last night is my favorite one to date! Huzzah! The recipe was simple, included browned butter, and only had to chill in the fridge for two hours (fun fact: if your recipe doesn’t call for chilling your cookie dough, it’s likely due to a higher flour content that ensures your cookie will not spread too much in the baking process. This results in much chewier, cake-like cookies than those that require chilling.)

The cookies themselves turned out ~amazing~ in all the ways I wanted. They were crisp on the edges, soft in the middle, and had that distinct browned butter flavor that did not overpower but added to the unctuous bite.

Does this mean I will stop my search for the best cookie recipe? Probably not. But I’ll use this one till I want to find a different one!

Coincidentally, I recently landed on an outlining process that I will also use for the foreseeable future. Thanks to a friend (shout out to them bc they’re the reason I’m still writing today after years of pushing through the slog), I was introduced to the chiastic story structure.

Not to exaggerate, but it’s life-changing.

Maybe you knew about it already, maybe you didn’t, and maybe it’s not as helpful for you because you don’t need percentages to figure out where in the story different things should be happening! But for lil old me, it’s exactly what I was looking for right now. It clearly defines what should be happening when, and how to create a story with well-crafted foreshadowing and mirroring throughout.

So, here I am, admiring both incredible cookies and a story outline that I feel 100% confident in.

Happy Monday!

[quillver]

A dialogue beat isn’t filler.

It’s the fault line between what’s said and what’s felt.

A good beat does one of three things:

1. Crack the surface

2. Say what the words won’t

3. Put tension somewhere the body can hold it

Bad:

“I’m fine,” she said, smoothing her sleeve.

Why it doesn’t work:

The beat mirrors the words.

No friction. No shift.

Better:

“I’m fine,” she said, folding the corner of the letter. Again.

Why it works:

The words close the subject.

The hands reopen it.

The line says what they want you to hear.

The beat says what they’re trying to bury.

[ambrosiagourmet]

Character POV unreliability factors -

Kabru: treats things like they are his fault and his responsibility to an unreasonable degree. Sometimes filters other people’s treatment of him through the lens of assuming that they all think these things are his fault/responsibility too. Other than that he’s mostly good at reading people and situations. It’s just that his view of himself is so distorted by what he thinks he should be that the closer someone gets to him, the more distorted they become, too.

Marcille: anxiety brain doesn’t turn off easily once it has been turned on. This leads her catastrophizing both about outcomes and about what people think of her. Also, I think she’s not very good at understanding what she’s good at, outside of the very particular slice of what she has been told she is good at, academically. I’m not projecting you’re projecting.

Laios: will not fucking directly acknowledge his own pain. He can be aware of discomfort and frustration, but actually getting him to look at the root cause is nigh impossible. This is both very fun and very annoying to write. Laios you are allowed to acknowledge your trauma. Please. Please acknowledge your trauma. Laios get back here.