#WIND IS IN FOR A ROUGH TIME
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HOW HAS NOBODY BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS!?
Wind is a small little baby bean right? NO well not for long at least because he’s 14 and that usually when puberty starts OH BOY POOR WIND IMAGINE BEING SURROUNDED MY 8 OTHER GUYS WHO 100% R GOING TO TEASE HIM ABOUT VOICE CRACKS AND PIMPLES AND WERID CRUSHES AND …..other things 💀 HEY MAYBE SKY AND HYRULE WILL HLEP AT LEAST as someone who had older brothers growing up (even though I’m a girl) he genuinely is going to wanna punch them so hard across the face but won’t because he loves his brothers to much 🥺🥺
#linkeduniverse#legend of zelda#wind#lu wind#PUBERTY SUCKS#BROTHERS SUCK#BUT THATS LIFE#😭😭😭#WIND IS IN FOR A ROUGH TIME#OMG AND HES GONNA BE SO MOODY#i cant rn
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I'm not gonna indulge too much in my Undertale AU on Tumblr, I am gonna just keep it private as I do wanna keep my main focus on my FNAF AU, but here y'all go
It's a little rough, but people really liked my Mettaton AU design so I wanted to desperately draw him :')
It's not the best, but I wanted to draw something today.
#i spent all of today mucking around with my art fight#changing profile pics for characters and editing all 90+ of my attacks to have updated thumbnails#aswell as adding characters and such--- it was alot#so this was a nice random sketch i did just to wind down.#I also randomly painted an eyeball out of boredom so THAT'S something#but yeah i hope this is ok#its rough like i said but theres a charm to it.#a little about my AU mettaton as a treat:#he is heavily posessed. he ran away from alphys halfway built between ex and neo#and has to power himself by using his actual ghost alot of the time#he salvaged his charging supply (or batteries idk what makes him run)#but the body is insufficient with power so he has to rely on possession alot of the time especially#when the body ages.#his eyes flicker pink when hes posessed and his ghost self does make himself appear outside of the suit#but with his soul still bound to the body#he can only go so far before he cannot anymore. he is literally tied to his body now HSGSVSV#he also goes by Hapsta in my au. a play on Hapstablook and also to avoid toyhouse sniping me#tho you can call him mtt or mettaton anyways idm lol#mettaton#undertale#undertale au#undertale oc#mettaton au#my art#my oc art
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#i've been trying to cough up a non-clunky translation for like 2 hours and come up with nothing#sometimes that's how it is#but a rough translation would be 'i might not understand the language of the winds but i think they wanted to call me to you#so i could see your sadness and kiss your lips even once'#anyway yes i did see this musical like 5 times when i was a wee bab#i've been very normal about terminaator my whole life#warrior of light#speedpaint#i draw sometimes#Final Fantasy XIV
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Okay I know someone did this one for Sacred Realm already but c'mon! I need every version of the Hero of Time in this shirt, please!
You annoyed the pirate
yes Time says "y'all" sometimes. Malon rubbed off on him.
#I really should use references when I doodle more#but I made this at midnight and I was too lazy#so things are rough but idc it's funny#house of heroes#houseofheroesau#hoh#hoh time#hoh wind#hoh answered#tumblr asks#answered asks#zelda au#legend of zelda#legend of zelda au#the legend of zelda#link#asks#not lu#hoh official art
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Hi, I hope you don't mind this message, and idk if anyone else has told you, but there's this troll going around on Tumblr named @/freethepuppet. They claim to be “fighting for justice in the puppet industry”, but really they're just sending hateful and threatening messages to Welcome Home and My Friendly Neighborhood artists/fans.
I myself have receive multiple death threats from this person, and they have sent threats to many of my friends over the matter, some of which are minors.
Because of this issue, I have decided to keep myself and my friends anonymous, especially considering the fact that @/freethepuppet intends to send threats to PartyCoffin himself, along with the creator behind My Friendly Neighborhood.
I just wanted to warn you about this person, so that you can block and report them, as well has tell others in the community about the troll. If you decide to ignore this, then that's fair and I respect your decision.
In any case, I hope you and your friends stay safe. Best of luck!!
blocked! thanks for letting me know! to add on to this, a little advice for everyone:
Don't Engage With This Person At All!
Don't Look At Their Stuff, Don't Respond To Messages, Don't @ Them Or Give Them The Time Of Day. Just Go Block Them And Let Them Exhaust Their Own Hate
#block and move on - thats the best way to deal with this sort of thing#dont give them a single millimeter to work with#they'll get tired of their own vitriol eventually#its like the best way to deal with assholes who say horrible things just to start shit: just ignore them completely#an 'ok. anyway-' will take the wind out of their sails better than any counterargument#they WANT you to engage. they WANT you to argue. they WANT you to waste your time on them#so. Don't!#block and ignore and move on with your day knowing that you're free from that bullshit <3#rambles from the bog#and you know? i hope that person gets better#no one goes out of their way to be so hateful unless they've got their own shit going on so.#even though i have them blocked! a message to that guy!#things Will get better. i hope that one day you look back on your hate blog with embarrassment and maybe some guilt#because you're in a happier - or at least more peaceful - state of mind#good luck man. ik its rough out there. you'll get through it
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Whumptober Day 31: Emptiness, (“I thought that I was getting better”)
Last one finally! ...a day late, but hey, at least I’m close, right..? This may be a bit rambly and headcanony, but it’s something. It’s done. I finished it.
Thank you everyone for supporting me this year! I appreciate you all more then words can say <3
Read on ao3
Warnings: pretty light, discussion of death and grief, mild mention of blood.
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Rusl was familiar to Wind.
Well, okay not exactly, he wasn’t one of those people that popped up no matter what era they were in or anything (like Beedle, seriously what was up with that?), but he was familiar in a different way.
One that made Wind’s chest feel weird whenever he looked at him.
The sailor swallowed, and looked down at his full plate of food, the others chattering loudly around him.
They’d finally ended up at Twilight’s home village, and the rancher was ecstatic, showing the Links all around Ordon, and introducing them to his family. It was late in the day when they’d arrived, and after showing them all around, Rusl and Uli had invited them all for dinner, insisting despite the large number of them.
They’d all piled in their house, the space a bit tight with eight extra people, but they managed, and set out a big meal for everyone.
It was chaos, everyone talking, passing food, holding Twilight’s baby sister, but despite everything going on, Wind found his gaze drawn continually towards Rusl, and Twilight and Colin as well. They were all sitting next to each other, and kept smiling, and laughing, and despite the delicious-smelling food in front of him, Wind had lost his appetite.
Twilight said something Wind didn’t catch over the din, but Rusl laughed at whatever it was he’d said, squeezing Twilight’s shoulder with a fond look on his face.
Wind felt the weird pit in his stomach suddenly grow, and he quietly slid off his seat, slipping out the door without barely a sound. Nobody seemed to notice him leave, and he stepped out into the night, closing the door and blocking most of the noise from inside. Cool air met him, and he breathed in deeply, shaking himself as he lingered on the doorstep.
The image of Rusl and Twilight together flashed suddenly in his mind, and Wind crossed his arms, kicking at a pebble on the ground.
Why was he feeling so weird about this? Twilight was finally home and able to visit his family, Wind should be feeling happy for him, right? He got to be with his whole village, and his little brother, and baby sister, and his parents...
Something stung in his chest again, and Wind swallowed.
Was that really what it was?
This... that was stupid, he wasn’t jealous of Twilight’s family! He had Grandma and Aryll! That was more than most of the other heroes had at all, some of them didn’t have any family, so why—
Why did seeing Rusl ruffle Twilight and Colin’s hair make a pit open in his stomach?
Happy laughter came from inside, and Wind felt the pit get deeper, something cold rising in his chest.
He suddenly couldn’t stand the idea of going back inside. Wind turned from the house and stalked away through the village, the moon shining too calmly for his mood. He circled the village a few times, then eventually found a secluded spot behind a house by the stream, throwing off his shoes and dunking his feet in.
The water was a little cold, chilly from the coming autumn, but Wind didn’t care, swishing his feet around.
A distant trill of music floated on the wind, and Wind hunched over himself as the tune changed to a different one in his head. He remembered his parents dancing to songs like that, and eavesdropping from his bed at night so he could hear them sing.
There was less music after Aryll was born, but it could still be found, and Wind still remembered his father quietly singing up at the lookout tower, Aryll asleep in his arms as Wind tried to fill in the missing harmony.
And even after that, Wind and Aryll still sang, to the seagulls outside, and with their grandmother when they helped her make soup. Sometimes Wind still sang Aryll to sleep when he was home, and they’d curl up together and he’d hum lullabies he’d learned on his travels.
“...Wind?”
Wind startled, and turned to see that Sky had walked up behind him without him noticing.
“We were wondering where you’d slipped off to, Uli was about to serve dessert,” he said warmly. Then his smile dimmed a little as he looked at Wind’s face, and he hesitated. “...is everything okay?”
Wind swallowed, then turned back to the water, not sure what to say.
Was everything fine? He’d thought it was, but the empty hole in his stomach spoke otherwise. He should probably tell Sky to just go back and eat dessert with everyone else, but for some reason those words didn’t come out.
“...Do you remember your parents?” Wind asked shakily, and Sky let out a quiet oh, moving to sit down next to him.
He looked out at the water for a moment, then took off his boots as well, dipping his toes in next to Wind’s.
“I do somewhat,” Sky replied, his voice soft. “My father and mother were both knights, though my father took it much more seriously. He was always patrolling, and practiced with the sword whenever he could, he helped train people to use it actually. My mother was more laidback like me, and mostly preferred just flying with her loftwing though. Apparently she was the best rider Skyloft had seen in a long time, she saved a lot of people.”
His smile dipped, and he breathed out.
“They both died when I was about seven.”
“I’m sorry,” Wind said quietly, and Sky gave him a small smile.
“It’s okay, it was a long time ago. I still miss them of course, but... in more of a good way, if that makes any sense.”
Wind crinkled his eyebrows, but he didn’t really have time to think that through, since Sky then gave him a searching look. Wind squirmed a little under the scrutiny, and looked back out at the water.
“Do you remember yours?” Sky asked softly, and Wind swallowed.
“Kind of,” he whispered, his mind falling back to one of his earliest memories. “My... mom died when Aryll was born. I don’t remember a lot about her, but I remember that night. There... there was a lot of blood.”
He paused and glanced at Sky, seeing that the Skyloftian was watching him with a gently sympathetic look on his face.
“My dad didn’t die until Aryll was three,” Wind continued, clearing his throat. “I remember more about him, he... he loved the ocean. Loved the waves and wind, and sailing. He went out on his boat a lot, but he’d never be gone too long, and he’d always throw me up in the air and catch me when he got back,” he finished with a smile, old laughs ringing in his ears.
Then they faded, and he felt his smile slip away.
“Sailing is hazardous, though. A storm blew up after he left to trade at Windfall once, and... nobody’s seen him since.”
Sky set his hand on his shoulder, and Wind swallowed again.
“I’m sorry Wind,” Sky said gently, and Wind gave him a small shrug.
“At least I have some memories of them. Aryll doesn’t remember Mom at all, and she barely remembers Dad. A-and at least I know who they were, I mean Wild doesn’t know anything about his family, and Four barely remembers his mother, and I don’t even know if Legend ever had parents and—”
“Sailor,” Sky interrupted carefully, and Wind looked at him, his throat tight. “...Where’s all of this coming from?”
“I...”
Wind clenched his fists, feeling that huge empty feeling in his stomach again.
“How come Twilight has a whole family?!” he burst out, feeling his lip tremble. “He’s got two whole siblings and parents that love him and are still alive and he gets to be around them and love them and I’m happy for him, I am but how come he’s the only one of us? Why doesn’t Time get to have parents? Or Warriors? Why did b-both of our parents have to die, it’s not fair Sky!”
Sky pulled an arm around Wind’s shoulder, and to his horror he realized he was crying, tears dripping into the water they were still dipping their feet in.
“I-it’s not fair,” he choked out, and Sky didn’t reply, gently rubbing his shoulder.
Wind let out a thick sniffle, mopping his sleeve over his face, and Sky held him a little tighter, a sigh escaping his lips.
“...I wish I had a good answer for you Wind,” he said finally, voice quiet. “Other then me just agreeing with you that you’re right, life isn’t fair. I... I don’t know why most of us lost our families. Maybe it’s due to us being heroes, maybe it’s just a big coincidence, I truly don’t know.”
Something deeply grieved flickered over Sky’s face, but it was gone as soon as it appeared.
“...I know it hurts, Sailor. It’ll probably hurt the rest of our lives,” Sky said as he closed his eyes, the moonlight somehow softening his features. “And we can’t bring our parents back, no matter how badly we’d like to. But... for me at least... I’ve had so many people in my life who’ve filled that role in their absence.”
Wind looked at him again, and Sky gave him a small, grieved smile.
“Zelda’s father, all the teachers at the knight academy... everyone on Skyloft, really. They’ve cared for me like my parents did, and while they’ll never replace them, they’re also my family. It’s a lot like that for Twilight too.”
“What do you mean?” Wind asked, and Sky looked at the water again.
“I guess you hadn’t joined us yet when we had that conversation... Rusl and Uli adopted Twilight, they’re not his birth parents,” Sky explained, and Wind’s eyes widened. “All of Ordon helped raise him, like Skyloft did for me, but he says he just ended up here one day. He has no idea what happened to his birth parents.”
“...Really?” Wind asked, and Sky nodded.
“Really.”
The weird hole in Wind’s stomach shifted again, and he felt even more miserable, staring down at his feet. For some reason the information only made him feel worse, and he felt Sky’s arm give him a little squeeze.
“Wind... you lost your parents a lot more recently then I did,” Sky said after a moment’s silence, and ran a gentle hand through Wind’s hair. “It’s okay to miss them.”
Wind swallowed back the sudden lump in his throat.
“I... I guess I thought I’d gotten over it,” Wind said thickly, voice shaking. “And then I saw R-Rusl and I just...”
A loud hiccup escaped him, and Sky gave him a squeeze.
“Even with Grandma, and Aryll, and L-Linebeck and Tetra and everyone I just... I miss them,” he finished in an embarrassing squeak. “And Rusl j-just... he looks like my dad.”
Sky didn’t say anything, just let him cry into his shoulder, and Wind shut his eyes and leaned against him a little more.
He didn’t know how long Sky sat with him, holding him while he cried, but it was long enough that his feet had started to feel numb in the water they were dipped in.
Wind shivered a little as his tears had finally slowed, the pit in his stomach feeling a little less empty as he wiped his face again. Then he looked up at Sky, the Skyloftian’s eyes looking a little red themselves.
“Are you okay?” he asked, and Sky let out a wet chuckle, wiping his own eyes.
“Yeah. I’m alright. You ready to head back?” he asked gently, and Wind hesitated a moment, then nodded, pulling his feet out of the water.
“Yeah, I... I think I’m... okay,” he said, and was a little surprised to find that he meant it. “Thanks Sky. Sorry for all the...”
Sky gave his shoulder a squeeze before he could continue.
“No problem, Sailor,” he smiled. “A good cry never hurt anyone. Now... let’s go see if somehow the others didn’t devour all the pie.”
Wind grinned. “Well if they did, I bet we can guilt Wild into making us more. I could sniffle and everything.”
Sky laughed, and Wind joined him as the two headed back across the village, the moon gently lighting their path.
#linkeduniverse#linked universe#lu wind#lu sky#linked universe fanfic#whumptober#whumptober 2023#day 31#emptiness#I thought that I was getting better#writing from the floor#WHEW#we're finally done lads!!!#oof this year was rough#though it turns out i wrote over 80k soooo that might be why#nanowrimo has nothing on me#...but yeah I'm definitely burnt out now heh#time for a writing break
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✨The Way You Glow✨
#Splatoon#Splatoon 3#Deep Cut#Shiver#ArtBySky#SOME WIND DOWN ART I had a rough time and needed to make something chill and relaxing /bricked
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You've chosen to fight the wild rivulet!
40 damage dealt
(1) turn remaining, 60 hp remaining
Part 1,
Part 2,
Part 3 (you are here),
The final turn,
This is how I'm calculating the damage/catch rate
Rivulet has 60hp (currently) and rolling the dice will = the number x ten which is then dealt in damage. Example : 4 is rolled = 40 hp taken
The catch rate goes up in 5 percent every 10hp it is lowered
Current catch rate = 25%
(Don't worry if rivulet doesn't get caught something else will happen)
#rain world#rainworld art#slugcat#digital art#rainworld#rw rivulet#rainworld rivulet#rain world rivulet#Wild rivulet!#Wind art#This is making me realise that you could probably run a simple mini RPG on tumblr#Polls and asks choosing options in fights or which direction to go#Where when speaking to an NPC you can use asks/anon to actually say whatever you want to the character#That actually sounds like a lot of fun#Could potentially be frustrating at times but it does sound very fun#Maybe I'll cook something up#Just not this year thats for sure#Maybe next year#I might make more stuff like the wild rivulet! Post to test this more#That and it's just fun to make#Tho I'm also rwlising that it would take ages to run considering polls take one day minimum#Unless there would be a rule where the poll 'ends' half way through the day#So there can be 2 polls daily#Idk#I really like planning things but when it comes to executing them it can be a little rough
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I’m still thinking about Umemiya’s team as well as everyone else involved in the AU but! For now! Take our beloved blushy boy!
Current Team:
Absol (Partner Pokemon)
Riolu
Eevee
Togepi
Pichu
To address the obvious theme here: friendship. Yes, they’re also all adorable and Sakura deserves cute things, but primarily they’re a good representation of his canon-typical character growth — as in, you’re going to see these babies evolve at crucial moments during Sakura’s journey, and almost exclusively to show he’s opened his heart to another traveling companion.
And then there’s Absol, my personal favorite misunderstood Pokemon. A so-called harbinger of disaster who’s actually vital to preventing loss of life and resources. It’s my favorite pick for Sakura because it’s just so damn fitting for who he is and how his friends come to see him.
I’m leaving the last spot open for now but I’m leaning towards having him run into Type: Null at some point (don’t ask me how, this is all vibes and no plot at this point). It’s another friendship evolution so it’s especially good for this line-up, plus I appreciate that its in-game relevance lines up with Sakura’s canon themes again.
#king’s court#wind breaker#sakura haruka#pokemon: verdant winds#<- that’s my tag for this au so feel free to blacklist if it’s not your cup of tea#I’m having Thoughts about sakura meeting absol as a kid#toying with the idol of him coming into possession of this random egg and just carrying it around everywhere for ages#in his backpack. wrapped up his jacket to keep it from getting rained on. sleeping on a folded up blanket next to him#and it turns out to be this pokemon that everyone tells him to get rid of immediately and Sakura just puffs up like a cat and tells them#all to go fuck themselves#in like. kid speak#or maybe he actually says that who knows#other option is bullied sakura takes refuge in the nearby woods and meets absol by chance#and it seems… lonely#and sakura sure isn’t sad or lonely or anything but it doesn’t hurt to keep the absol company from time to time#make sure it doesn’t get into any trouble#and time passes and sakura’s reputation in town gets worse and worse and he’s desperate to leave#and then one day he’s sitting out in the woods. roughed up from a fight and NOT SULKING ABOUT IT#and absol appears out of nowhere as it’s wont to do#but it’s carrying a damn pokeball in its mouth for some reason#it takes a while but Sakura puts it together that it wants to be HIS pokemon. his partner#and the gym challenge is the perfect reason to get the hell out of town so he takes it#et voila!#rookie trainer sakura gets his start!
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Some extremely fucking rough concepts for Link designs!
If you have any questions on my thought processes, feel free to ask.
You can tell I don’t give a shit about Tracks or Wild and that I’m minimally interested in Time or Chaos. I was really uninspired when doing those.
Anyways, I’ll probably refine these later.
Twilight is supposed to have mutton chops, but they got lost in his hair.
#own art#the legend of zelda#zelda#link#link tloz#I really don’t know how to tag this lol#link redesign#hero of legend#hero of the four sword#hero of the minish#hero of winds#hero of men#hero of chaos#hero of hyrule#hero of time#hero of twilight#hero of the sky#new hero of hyrule#hero of tracks#hero of the wild#is arts and style his own hero?#sketch#character concept#rough draft#artists on tumblr#alcohol markers#I didn’t realize most Links have blue eyes until half way through#I thought that was exclusive to Wild
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Come one, come all - tune into channel 6 this Friday at 4 PM to catch the tv debut of Sideshow Chicken! The eagle-eyed viewer may recognize sideshow chicken by another name - sideshow bob - and you’d be right!
But, mangled and disgraced, our palm tree haired friend needed a new job after getting laughed out of his Associate Professorship position at Springfield University, and who am I to deny an old pal a spot on my show?
I hope you like chicken tenders, ‘cus this chickens here to stay! See you Friday night!
#'sawyer do you ever wonder what happened to bob after xxvi' yes i do and this is my answer#he winds back up on the krusty show. krusty takes him back against better judgement bc bob looks so ridiculous now#how could he possibly try to kill anyone ? he's a great hit with the kids too he remembers all his slapstick#krusty makes sure to try not to rough him up as much as he did the first time bob was on his show. dont want any repeats of that#sideshow chicken#sideshow bob#krusty the clown#the simpsons#art.tag#wanted dead then alive#thoh xxvi
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I miss the days where existing online was a fun thing for ppl with social anxiety to make friends on instead of like Life 2.0 ya know
#sucktacular sucks#this is literally about nothing im just like#so tired. im tired all the time. being online was my lil fun escape place#but now itslike#DID YOU KNOW HORRIBLE THING HAPPENED AND IF YOU ARENT PAYING ATTENTION#YOURE AWFUL AND ALSO THIS OTHER STUFF DONT DO IT BUT YOU#HAVE TO DO THIS THING OR ILL SEND YOU DEATH THREATS#or YOU DID XYZ OR LIKE XYZ THAY MEANS YOURE EVIL AND AWFUL#and its like#i know this stuff existed still back then but also#i just miss making movie maker slide shows#and having funny fake cyber sex in gaia online towns with my friends that i dont#know anything about and will never meet#like i could probably still exist in that closed off little world if i tried harder#but like maaaaann its just rough#i log in and get bombarded with information#i have no money i dont go outside and i want to be left alone except for my friends#i dont want to be anyone and i dont want to do anything#and Yet#my anxiety is on high alert every hour of everyday#anyone else wanna just exist and enjoy stuff or be a hater but it not be A Big Thing#again literally about nothing just like#i have an anxiety disorder and i know existing is already hard#but man online gonna make it hard now too huh#ewie#anyway i do miss my death note mutuals but i cant even socialize with my besties these days#cuz im too anxious and one little trip up and im gonna explode and die frankly#working on it#HOW THE HELL DID WE WIND UP LIKE THIS#AND WHY WERENT WE ABLE... TO SEE THE SIGNS THAT WE MISSED. AND TRY AND TURN THE TABLES
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creative and funny description (ref image under the cut)
#tumblr please i know we've had our rough times but please don't kill my image quality pl#doomed to forever make redraws#leone abbacchio#vento aureo#golden wind#jjba#jjba fanart#my art#fanart#jojo#jjba part 5#jojo part 5
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new pfp
[image description: digital drawing of the artist from the neck up, made with a bristle textured brush. he has freckles and short dark hair and wears a dark t-shirt. he has his eyes shut. he holds a hand to one side of his head. the other side of his head has a stylised explosion or bright light coming from it. bright lines of light radiate from the point on his head. the background and figure are drawn in shades of blue. the light is bright red and yellow. end description.]
#art#artists on tumblr#creature draws#drawing#sketch#digital art#digital artist#digital illustration#self portrait#krita#digital sketch#illustration#illustrator#i had a Rough Time the other night and i drew this to wind down from some heavier vent art#it didnt take me long to do i dont think#drawing like this with a big textured brush without a sketch or much of a plan really makes me feel like a kid again#drawing with crayons and all that#i like being expressive without worryinf too much about beinf perfect or whatever
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my brain can fit so many bad ideas inside of it
#past few months like a whisper on the wind i hear “rewrite learn to live...”#i hear “u were 18 and high w a fever from the flu for like 90% of the chapters. u can do better now”#“its so rough and unpolished even for othet fics from that era. you could make it better now”#and the angel on my shoulder is like. no. we are not doing that. its on an orphaned account#and despite all my self-critique of it PEOPLE LIKED IT its my 2nd most popular fic ever#there are two dogs inside of me one is viciously chewing at a poisonous stick and the other is trying to pry the stick out of the others maw#theres sooooo much wrong w the fic tho like every time i read it im like. bro. what the fuck was i on#the flu is the answer lmao i was home from HIGH SCHOOL w a high fever for like a week#and during that time i wrote a majority of learn to live... and like the sequel and side stories arent so bad#but learn to live im like. bro. bro. what the fuck#anyways. rambling. LMAO#if you dont know learn to live thats probably for the fuckin best its got a ROUGH start#i am appalled every time i read it LMAO girl whyd you do that (me to 18 year old me)
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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