#WHY YOU GOTTA REMIND ME
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you know who and you know what
#im way too feral for vampy hoon#like#NGNGNFBDJVFD#was it an excuse to write a guy eating out a girl while she's on her period? well yes!!! BUT ALSO#idk man i get hung up on the way he didn't need to breathe so he just kept drinkin' that shit#man#FUCK#WHY YOU GOTTA REMIND ME#ONE OF THE DAMNED GIRLS PART 3289743982 WHEN?#@ ME#ask#anon#im crying i miss him#this pic is eader and jungwon talking KJHFDSKJ
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[from 2023] thought “what if galacta had a wing-cape like MK”
#kirby#galacta knight#fanart#animation#urhrhgggg i added an extra frame and colored this today. reminded me why i hate doing lineart animations so much#when i was originally making this it took me hours😭 HOURS FOR 9 FRAMES can you believe that#it takes me soo much less time to do lineless because you don’t gotta be consistent and can be messy as you like#you don’t get that freedom with lineart!!
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Yknow when I first saw Chronos i couldn't quite take him seriously bc he's... he's a twink. who gave him that tiny tiny waist and those birthgiving hips? why is he built like that? i expected a giant or something, i mean the big 3 brothers are built ykno their father should be big muscly guy too right?? and then i realized he's got an hourglass shape and. 😶
my bad supergiant u are right. titan of time. hourglass. titan of time? hourglass. checks out ✓ he is hourglass shaped. an hourglass. ⌛that. that is him. titan of time alright. hourglass
but still that tiny waist
#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#c rambles#sir titan of time chronos u are a twink. like ur a tall twink i'll give u that but. dasjklhfdsfhskf#i just fucking jsaldjsjfs#but like i was so gagged when i realized he's an ⌛#i like shut my mouth. hes a fcuking hourglass holy shit!#like i cant dispute them at all thats lowkey brilliant i am kinda mad it makes sense#i gotta say that gold in his skin looks immaculate. like everything about him looks good#its just that fucking waist lmao#k kardashian wishes she had that fucking waist bruh#also is it only me or does he remind you of gabriel agreste from miraculous ladybug?? askhfdsjfs#like idk why? maybe bc hes tall and blondish... and that pose too. but like idk sdsjhlafkhasdf#how am i gonna respect that man with the gabriel vibes (the least respectable man in ml) and that tiny waist...#i gotta play more i only saw him officially once#in fact im gonna do that rn lol i just had to ramble about the game#my shit
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been doin' some Harley research for my eventual Caped Crusader Asian Harley essay. I realize from the reactions to CC's Harley that I guess my opinion would be considered a hot take? Either way, I've got my reasons that I'll back up with INFORMED research 🤸
Batfandom has been incredibly kind about the CC metas!! While people are generally receptive to my MAWS metas, I've had way more vicious responses from the Superman fandom in comparison. Idk it's like the Batfandom has more standards and are therefore more open minded to critical opinion or something.
#ramblings#jesncin dc meta#maws defenders usually tell me that “the show is not that srs stop reading into it” and then I remind them that maws brought up xenophobia-#-as a theme and butchered it. suddenly they're so quiet. Why do u gotta dumb down a show you like so it doesn't receive criticism? hmm?#anyhoo I've been reading Harley comics and revisiting Telltale Harley's plot
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rosho’s wondering how tf sasara still has copies of his key when he’s already confiscated 50 of them and sasara says he’s shooting for 100 keys confiscated, we gotta get rosho outta there
#vee queued to fill the void#the arb chronicles#SAVE……….. SAVE HIM WE GOTTA SAVE ROSHO YALL#never would i have expected to see division codependence manifest in the manner serial breaking and entering#but all the more power to dotsuitare hompo LOL#the artstyle in the the event cards reminds me of the sasara and ramuda art in hypdream it’s really nice 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS AN MTCDH EVENT??????? OUTTA NOWHERE???????#LIKE DEADASS WENT ‘SAMATOKI???????????????????’ WHEN HE SHOWED UP LOL#*slams fist on table* WHY TF WAS I DENIED A BBBAT EVENT THIS IS CRUEL AND UNJUST PUNISHMENT#ARB IS UP TO THEIR WACK SHIT SHENANIGANS BY THE TIME THIS EVENT IS OVER AND EVEN WITH AN ALTERNATIVE STREAM#IF WE GET A FPMTR EVENT MINUS RAMUDA PLUS KUUKOU THAT WOULD PUT US AROUND KUUKOUS BIRTHDAY THATS SO EVIL LMAO
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I’m cool I'm fine its not a big deal—
WTF MONKEY KING
#My Art#Artist On Tumblr#Original Character#KG Jin#Mei Hou Wang#Monkey King 2009#Liu Er Mihou#Six Eared Macaque#Sun Wukong#since I started the show I thought it was gonna be something that reminded me of my childhood like the disney renaissance and curious georg#WHY YOU GOTTA GET THE KID’S HOPES UP CHIEF THAT WAS NOT COOL#I’m also currently binging it while sick so I might have suffocated during this scene and the later one at the end#this cartoon meant for kids will be the reason I end up in the hospital#I already have to deal with Shadowpeach NOW I GOTTA DEAL WITH PEACHBUDS
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The main Bridgerton subreddit is one of the most negative, toxic places for fans of a show that I've ever been a part of.
Every time I think I'll go back in there to see if anything has changed, I am immediately reminded of why I left in the first place ---
#bridgerton#polin#i highly recommended the polin subreddit if you want a fandom experience that is positive and nontoxic#the bridgerton subreddit has become a place for polin haters and hate posting#i like all the ships in bridgerton so i dont see why we all gotta be so mean to each other#yall are reminding me of wincest fans from aupernatural#stop it get some help
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I think my very least favorite type of mihoyo fan to interact with is the rabid "There's no ships implied or teased because in Hoyo games no ships are canon!! These characters are just friends!!"
Like, do you just enjoy being bland as untoasted bread? Do you not have a single romantic bone in your body? Are you completely incapable of just letting other people have fun?
Normally I am happy to let people cook, but actually, for this group? Please shut up. Literally no one who is shipping in these fandoms actually expects their ships to be 100% confirmed as canon in-game. We know there aren't many confirmed relationships in Hoyo games. We've got it, thanks!
But denying that there's any deliberate ship tease or fan bait, especially in Hoyo's marketing, just makes you look media illiterate. Of course there's ship tease in Hoyo marketing and games! That shit sells just as well as the waifu/husbando fantasy! Hoyo knows how to make money; they're not stupid!
Anyway, sorry for the rant. There just seems to be a particular breed of really intolerable fan in the Hoyo fandoms that is exhausting to have to see and respond to and that last video has brought them out in force... 😮💨
#ship tease so blatant the ship haters gotta pull out the#'no ships are canon' card#SHIP SO GOOD THEY GOTTA REMIND YOU#THAT NOTHING IS 100% CONFIRMED#sorry if anyone following me is this kind of fan#but if you are this kind of fan#please go elsewhere#I have no time for people who can't scroll past things they don't like#and need to try to ruin the fun for everyone on every ship post they see#if you don't think there's any hints for this ship#why are you scrolling the ship tag to try to frantically negative comment on every post you see#genshin impact#honkai star rail#and yes#this is about that Ratiorine video#hoyolab is cancerous#but I'm addicted to collecting avatar frames#it's a character flaw
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was not expecting how head over heels i'd fall for marchil- i stg there's something they put in the sauce like goddamn! and i've loved seeing your posts analyzing their dynamic, really helped articulate what i was feeling. i was wondering if you had any fic recs, or any recommendations for ships with a similar vibe? i'm hungry for them...
I know right, marchil gripped me in a chokehold out of nowhere and still hasn’t let go… The sauce was designed by the demon for me to get addicted specifically. It’s been too long since I haven’t written fic for them. I’m still chipping away at my Marcille & Chil arc analysis I know I always mention it and I started the draft in January but I SWEARRR… Season 1 is ending next week :/ On the upside I’ll probably be more focused. After that analysis, which is only analyzing in depth like one aspect/half of their intertwined arc btw so who knows there might be a part 2 one day, I kept thinking it’d prob be my last marchil analysis but let’s be real, probably not. Every week I find something new to point out about them aah…… Dungeon food, ahh, dungeon food…
Fanfic rec wise, well first I have my own marchil fics, to which I mostly recommend Grind Me Down Sweetly, and then feel free to browse my marchil bookmarks for what seems good! I don’t know what your tastes are but Shroomyystar makes super good angst (and smut), my favorite being 'Til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours about Marcille getting deathly sick and the dilemma to confess or to not confess, incredibly haunting piece of bittersweet but soul-crushing angst AND character study. Like wow! Chilchuck I need to throw you in a river. I want you beside me is cute bedsharing banter. From me to you makes my head spin and makes me shake my screen. And- *gets dragged off before I can mention more* Meanwhile on the flipside, Anita_Amai (the first ao3 marchil writer, still going strong 👏👏) is especially great at offering short and sweet pieces, the tone is usually light and comedic and it always makes me smile and giggle, gives me fluff attacks, the fics always a strong good scene or theme idea too. Just browse and pick any, it’s a good time. There’s soo many more. Honestly I recommend just diving into the ao3 tag and start reading. You can start by kudos and read the highest ones first to dip your toes and get the community classics one out. Early on there was a recurring anon writer who did great bittersweet domestic confession stuff like this one, lifespan angst oughh... Wherever you are now thank you for all your work 😭💖 A lot of new marchil writers are starting to post too! A csm asaden fanfic writer legend just joined the tag so marchil will probably finally get some multi-chaptered fanfics haha~ But yess there’s unrequited angst, there’s self-sabotaging angst, there’s domestic fluff, there’s falling in love and bantery fluff, bunch of good stuff <3
As to ships with similar vibes: The closest I’ve seen so far is honestly weirdly close, it’s the protagonists from a romance comedy josei called Dame na watashi ni koishite kudasai or Please love useless me! I don’t want to spoil but there’s even the guy needing to move on from a doomed love + emotional distance issues and the gal slowly invading his personal life/social circle and my god… They were coworkers, he was rude, he’s a workaholic, he’s reliable, she’s sunshine and needs to get some reality checks... The banter. THE BANTER. He represses and she copes by simping for fictional characters. He made, like, a mutual aid community for ex-gangsters. They dress up in silly costumes sometimes. They’re weeeird about each other in an unlabelable way before dating in a way (in a fun marchil in canon way). It’s so funny she’s cracking open his convoluted personal drama like her morning newspapers. There’s more there’s so much more. Give up on your dreams, make money, love loses 🔥🔥 It’s honestly just a great fun read, it’s such a mood. Haven’t read the sequel yet but there’s one so really if it hooks you you’ll be fed well and for a while. The greatest bits are too spoilery but here, have the vibe.
Howl’s Moving Castle, specifically the book, and there’s a ton of themes and narratives that are so fitting for them that I couldn’t possibly all list, I already made a post on it here if you’re interested in all the details and similarities and my AU thoughts haha.
Teen Titans 2003 the show, Beast Boy x Starfire. THAT’S RIGHT I’M A BBSTAR, BAM! 💥🫶 Jokester that’s dependable x sweet and idealistic but strong and protective. Short gremlin and tall beauty. Friends-coworkers to lovers. Very soft fluffy slice of life ship I like it a lot, and I wrote a fic for it hehe. Might do more one day, I have a bunch of prompts written down and a series I really wanted to get to sob.
I almost forgot to mention Shrek. It’s SO FUNNY how well it goes sometimes… Chil Shrek, Laios Donkey, Marcille Fiona. I want to say Mickbell could be Farquaad but even Mick doesn’t deserve this slander… Shrek 2 fear that he’s not prince charming enough for her oughh. Laios getting to be a horse good for him good for him. Winged Lion singing I need a hero. Someone stop me.
There’s also zenmiyo from Touge Oni but no one reads that </3 I gotta get to my review/lore analysis about that manga it’s sooo good a fave read of mine from last year. Like it’s so fucking good. It keeps just ramping up and getting more crazily good. Scrolling through some pages rn and it’s a unique blend of comedy, philosophy and awe-inspiring visuals and creativity. Well, sort of like late Dunmeshi actually. If it had a fandom any bigger I’d be all over it constantly. And I’d also recommend Harahara Sensei / Timebomb Teacher if it had any english translation, one of my fave mangas also. It’s about mafia, and a goody two shoes willing to go through a corruption arc to save her sister x stern rude mafioso who’s there bc he’s poor and on a revenge mission, never had any other option growing up etc etc. Ok he’s not that Chilchuck but the dynamic does have that "grow up and see the world for what it is, a shithole. It’s been hell for me" vs "ok you have a point. But also have you considered not sacrificing your humanity and emotions in a self-destructive pursuit" (not that she’s in the position to talk lmaoo) like ohh my goood him throwing his popsicle stick in the fire that she lit over a corpse, it haunts me.
From the marchil Discord it’s also fun to notice ships some of us share… Csm asaden, some combination of LotR elf x short guy, fair amount of dunmeshi ships overlap too. Haven’t found the overall common thread quite yet and I’m forgetting many that have come up but lol some off the top of my head.
#Marchil#“Do you know ships like marchil” marchil has 50 layers of themes and circumstances and world-specific dynamics there will never be#another ship like marchil#With that said you can have dollarstore marchil/differently flavored here and there yes#Ask#Sorry for answering days late </3#Bc i have bad memory and i’m a raging shipper i literally keep lists of ships i like and have a ‘ships that are similar’ section so like.#I was born ready for that question. The random prep for a ship surprise quizz paid off.#There are a few other ships i didn’t put bc they aren’t close enough#With marchil i come for the comedy and stay for all the themes and the angst and the complementary-ness my god… So ships that remind me of#Them tend to come from more comedy focused stuff or whatnot#You gotta appreciate the marchil range man… Fluff angst sitcom melancholy slice of life it can do it all#It’s honestly hard to find protags/love interests that are both scholars and too idealistic. I love Marcille’s academic side </3#Koishite kudasai is the josei-shojo i’ve related to the most in my life for sure for sure. Adult struggling </3#I’m rereading to find good pages for this and my god it’s so good i keep laughing. Ah well…! This is why i take so long w asks
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Have you ever seen a more depressing list?
Like man just add a disclaimer at the start saying they’re all dead stop bumming me out with every addition 😭
#least favourite page out of all of them why you gotta remind me they became an extinct species like that#supernatural#spn#angels spn
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ok as a tourette's haver. i personally REALLY dislike seeing "tourette's faker" call out videos. i am so very wary of this content, because of how often people who really DO have tourette's get accused of faking it. and to be fair, it is largely the people faking TS who are at fault for the rise in tic faking accusations being made towards people who really do have a tic disorder. but i feel that this sort of call-out content also encourages a culture around questioning and investigating if people are TRULY disabled/visibly disabled enough. that to me feels icky. i also feel that if a content creator is frequently making content calling out TS fakers, it is only a matter of time before they call out someone who actually has TS. not to mention profiting off of like.. disability white knighting
it is less concerning to me when a person who has tourette's is calling out a supposed tic faker. however i still personally dislike the content trend regardless of who is making the content. any time i see those videos, all i can think about is how someone could easily accuse me of the same thing, given how often people don't understand how tourette's works. it makes me uncomfortable
#idk why but it reminds me of the trans trender videos that used to be popular#of course these are quite different. yk being trans isnt a disability and u can objectively fake a disorder#but it feels reminiscent of that kind of call-out culture#you gotta be like. UNQUESTIONABLY confident to say shit like that#and even then i still dont wanna watch it!#no shame to u if u watch it tho. idc#tourettes#actually tourettic#neurodivergent
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Care for your sparring partner (Patreon)
Bonus:
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Sylvia#Wander#Everyone asking Peepers questions that just skirt that line: The Series lol#Shoutout to Autumn for directing my attention this way and encouraging my brain to think about this A Lot lol#Drawing Peepers sliding around 'cause he just throws himself into everything ✨ That's it that's the whole thought lol#I haven't worn a binder for long enough to lose my breath so apologies if this isn't quite how it goes but y'know - *gestures at The Vibe*#He would overwork himself to the point of nearly passing out if it meant he could keep fighting the way he wants to pfft#Sylvia's rough and tumblr and she can be mean but even she won't kick him while he's down! Mom friend activate haha#She's grown a lot <3#Also getting a bit easier to draw her >:3c She does have a fun design :D#Her mouth is the most fun haha ♪ It really reminds me of Moomin! Cute cutout shape :3#''Why are you fighting with like five coats on'' ''Dysphoria'' ''Ah''#Notice how he covers his chest when she brings up his ''tank top'' ♪ She just goes on giving him a lecture and he's like ''Did she notice''#She didn't lol especially if that bonus is any indication#Weeks/Months/Years later and she's just like ''So that time we were fighting he was- He wasn't- :0000'' Lol#Bonus Wander brushing her comb ♪ Gotta take care of his best friend/steed! Probably just knocking the dust and dirt off haha#Their discussion would probably be silly hehe you know he'd ask and then /she'd/ ask#''Did you know??'' ''I don't make it my business to pry into other's personal matters-'' ''First of all that's not even a little bit true''#It's just all about respecting boundaries! All the way around :) Respect the sanctity of the relationship whether it's friendly or combative
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Your art is so amazing and you're truly spoiling us by posting so often! I have no idea how you do it, but I'm very grateful ^w^~💚
Also, your tags are an art form themselves and I haven't seen them get the appreciation they deserve!
thank you so much !!! a part of why i post so much is Of Course because of all the lovely support and invitations for discussion from everyone: it's been so fun talking with everyone and getting to share all my lil doodles and read everyones tags so far :]] !! gettin to come online and share my thoughts and drawings really is a huge part of my day and helps me get through the muck of it all, so thank you all for bein a gracious community !
SPEAAAKAING of tags thank you very much for appreciating my tag rambles !! hard to find people who appreciate TRUE art anymore smh .....
#snap chats#I JEST JVLAEKVJAE but fr thank you :) i dont think people'll read my tag rambles#like i HOPE they do but theyre more for me because i have an obsession with overexplaining#theres a novel's worth of a diagnosis as to why that is but this aint bout that POINT IS thank you for reading my thoughts :)#on that note that just reminds me ive always wondered what id be like for charles to get in the head of a real scatterbrain#brother strap in youre going in for a ride. youre going to experience seven wikipedia articles in five minutes#in any case. ive been told my rate for drawing is alarming. very beneficial for the work i do ! but alarming#however i understand time is a very finite thing and that scares me so i have adapted to draw as fast as i can#and sleep as little as possiblel but we dont have to talk about that point is thank you !!!!!#i look forward to making more art people can enjoy :]]] !!!#all of that said and done... i think im gonna go eat forreal now ...#as much as i love being online .. i also love going outside. and eating ! so for now i rest#plus i have that package i gotta get lol ....... anyways laters !!!
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horror's jacket fluff has probably accumulated so much DISGUSTINGNESS over 7 years in it that it's managed to acquire it's own signature Dog Smell (TM). however i think this would be a prime opportunity to pet him and then get some of that disgusting smell on you because for some reasons Dog Smell is just unavoidable when you pet a dog with a lot of hair
he'd hate it but awww awww whos a good boy (ノ´∀`*) whos a good boy (*≧∪≦) YOU ARE!!! awww so cute you didn't commit all those murders against innocent people you were innocent ( ̄▽ ̄)/ such a good boy!!!! (gets beheaded) (he got too embarrassed)
#forcing the dog horror agenda down people's throats#CAT DOG RABBIT TRIO I SCREAM INTO THE DISTANCE#cat and dog run circles chasing eachother around the sleeping rabbit (MURDER TIME TRIO REAL TRUST I WAS THE AIR)#THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME. guess where the inspiration came from. THATS RIGHT (triglycercule owns a dog) (for context)#my favorite recurring theme i keep on bringing up 4 some reason is horror not wanting 2 be treated like hes feral or animalistic#he is a rational man. he can think for himself. he isn't a DOG. SO THEN STOP TREATING HIM LIKE HE'S NOTHING MORE THAN SOME CAGED CANINE#(glares at killer and dust. dust simply looks off to the side (not paying attention) and killer slightly smiles bigger (creep))#it would be SO fucking demeaning. something killer does to horror to piss him off EASILY#leave it to killer to find a way to get on horror's nerves all the time. thank god dust is much less pissy than horror 🙏#can just SEE the thought bubble of horror as a dog above dusts head#he wouldn't verbalize it (because why would he need to) but dust can see the dog parallels (truly like me)#maybe he'd say it on an off day when theyre all feeling chill and its dead silent#someone's gotta be the calm one out of the three maniacs and why not let it be the rationally insane one ‼️‼️‼️#and theyre all just like chilling. horror's organizing the pantry. killer's playing a cat game on his phone. dust's reading#and then he just says to nobody in particular. horror reminds me of a dog#it's almost as if nobody reacts when horror turns around flabbergasted??? as if nobody said anything!!!!!#because dust is still reading and killer's still on his phone!!! WHAT!!!! and horror's just like ever so slightly irritated and weirded out#but...... its a good day. its been chill. maybe he just imagined that. and he goes back to his thingy#and dust just ever so slightly smiles. killer's actually been looking at horror ever since dust said that (the blank sockets hide his gayze#and in his head hes like..... damn. dust is right tf i do see it??????#kemonomimi mtt when. when do i get to see them with animal ears and tails that i approve they would fit in????#triglycercule you have to do it yourself.WHAT!!! NO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO (disintegrates) (imagine that ashy baby photo)#i felt like killer typing out that second paragraph. its like i can hear his voice saying it as i type. its like i can see his smug face#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc#i mean killer and dust are mentioned in tags so its whatever DONT KILL ME DONT GUILLOTINE ME OK SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Mouthwashing Spoilers
TW: Addiction and Self Harm
I wanna go on about Swansea's final monologue but it's hard to put into words, but I'm gonna try anyways cause it's a short, but strong story about autonomy again. This post ended up significantly longer than I wanted though
It's the autonomy to choose the "less healthy" option because it's appealing to you. It's the moral assignment to normality and stability. An alcoholic is an alcoholic by choice, technically, but do they owe us otherwise? Is it morally reprehensible to enjoy taking LSD at a party? Should we see someone as less than because they relax with a xanax instead of a hot shower? It's not healthy. We know that. We've seen anti-drug ad after ad after ad. But is that the part that's morally wrong, in and of itself? Does enjoying the drugs and chaos make Swansea a worse person?
Like him talking about his entire life and ending it by saying between the "stable" "normal" life and him waking up every morning with a new hangover, he preferred the latter. People always talk about getting clean and fixing their lives and Swansea did it! He did the thing "good men" do! A wife and kids and a trade job and sobriety! He was doing it! He was finally "worth" something!
And he hated it! I mean I don't know if he actually hated/despised it, but he misses his previous life. He misses drugs and partying and living like you might not wake up the next day. He said the thing that changed him was seeing himself dead in a ditch under the bright beam of a streetlight. Now he's looking down the barrel of a gun. And as he looks down it, he looks back. That was his preference. It felt good to be like that. And he wouldn't be here if he stayed there
We always have a narrative about drugs or gambling or sleeping around where a person suddenly realizes that they aren't "doing anything" with their life and becomes stable and it's always played like addiction is a false pleasure. Swansea got to the stability people said would be the real pleasure of life and that just wasn't true for him. One bad paycheck could've been the difference between his stable life and falling apart anyways. His lifestyle was going to kill him someday apparently, yet he's staring down the barrel of a gun at his steady trade job to feed his wife and kids.
I don't know quite how to word it but Swansea is the poster child for rehabilitation. There's this weight to him saying his alcoholic period was the best time of his life. Like it just hits at that pang that makes people wear DARE shirts while smoking weed and post those videos of smoking 100 cigarettes at once. Anti-vaping ads tell you about the damage they do to your body but everyone knows that already. Everyone knows "this is what your brain looks like on drugs." I smoke medical marijuana and it isn't good for my lungs but it's good for my pain. Doing drugs isn't good for me and I know that and that's sorta the point sometimes.
I don't know it's just this weird pang where I know what Swansea means, just not to nearly the same extent. I don't have an addiction so I don't think I could fully understand it. Maybe a better thing I could relate it to for myself is self harm. It's not healthy sure, but who do I owe health? Myself? Other people? And what is healthy? Is it feeling better now? Is it resisting now and feeling worse for it until it stops? What if the coping skills I learn make it worse? What if they make it better? Do I want it to get better? Does Swansea want to get better? What would better feel like to either of us?
Who knows until you try. Swansea got a collared shirt, a mortgage, and a credit card. He got a job and a wife and kids. He got sober. He got healthier, depending on your definition.
But did he feel better? He's looking down a barrel of a gun and he has to decide if he feels better. It doesn't seem like he regrets his new life. He says he wants his kids to be better than him. He wants good things to happen for them. He saw himself as one bad slip away from falling again. I don't think he felt better though. I think he got healthier. He likely would've ended up in the ditch he dreamt about, but we don't know that. We also don't know if that's what he'd prefer. But, we do know he got healthier, depending on your definition.
#mouthwashing#tw addiction#tw self harm#It got a little personal in the end but I keep watching that scene cause it reminds me of a convo with my therapist#It's been a lil under a year since I last self harmed#but he told me that things like addictions and self harm are tools#they're neutral actions that either make you feel better or worse#and that's usually up to the circumstances around the action rather than the act itself#Taking narcotics might fill you with shame or make you feel giddy. Maybe even both#Self harm can make you feel embarrassed but cathartic#That's unhealthy#now what?#There needs to be something to replace that feeling or you'll just crave it until you can't stand the feeling anymore#And sure you can talk about will and self control but why? Who are they doing this for? Themselves? Friends? Family?#Cause there's so many factors that can make that difference and sometimes the answer is 'No one'#So you crave and is that healthier? I'm not saying to self harm again or break your sobriety#But there's gotta be something to replace it. AA and NA use a higher power and ppl use nicotine gum for smoking#Essentially what I'm saying is that it's not the end of the world to enjoy your addiction#Is it unhealthy? Absolutely. Wounds can get infected and drugs can be laced or you can OD#But is it morally wrong for Swansea to say those were the best days of his life?#Is it wrong for him to live the sober life and decide he preferred his alcoholism?#My therapist doesn't want me to harm myself. He'd prefer for me to learn new coping skills to replace it. And I did#The urges still come up for me sometimes. He says they come up for him too. Less so. But they do#He says a relapse could happen. What's wrong with that? You just start over with a new goal and a new skill. And if that skill is worse?#Well that original tool is there until you get a new one. It's not great but it feels better than a new bad tool#And maybe it's okay to fiddle with that old tool if you don't wanna bother with a new one again
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been watching a lot of animal docs on youtube and i have to breathe in and out to not get angry whenever i go in the comments and some dumb fuck is going on about how humans are apex predators
#i gotta keep reminding myself there is no point in arguing with these fools....#the humans are not predators they are well adapted prey who are good at hunting with tools#if i threw a quote unquote apex predator without a gun in a pit with a lion they would be turned into a beautiful dinner#you have no claws and weak bones and weak jaws to kill and your skin is paper thin and you can't even run fast enough to escape#if the lion doesnt have a gun why should you? they have claws and strong teeth and jaws because theyre Actual predators#like DONT PISS ME OFFFFFF#the chain is not a pyramid it is a circle#which is why theres no point in over hunting. we're killing the enviroment bc we're greedy. nature has done a 180° in less than 30 years#222
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