#so where is that respect for the upcoming stars why do i gotta hear about giannis being traded or jok failing to carry nuggets | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tellmenauineo · 4 years ago

Text

colored by you

pairing: mingyu x reader, vernon x reader

genre: soulmate!au, angst, fluff, smut, comedy (at some points)

warnings: mentions of alcholol and weed, language, unprotected sex

summary: eventually, we fall in love with people who the universe destined us to. but there are complications sometimes.

word count: 11k (i refuse to comment)

a/n: tell me what you think even if you found it bad 🤧🤧 i’m in NEED of feedback,, stay safe during the pandemic and feel free to talk to me!! i’m sorta back 🤠🤠

“I'd prefer if you showed more enthusiasm about it. Success is never an accident,” your mother reads you a lesson, a reproach can be heard in her voice. Your sigh, wishing this conversation to be over so you’ll finally be able to hang up your phone.

“Some people aren't built happy, or cheerful, or forever excited, you know,” you mumble. “I'm satisfied with my academical success – but maybe it isn't a thing I want to achieve now. I don't know.”

“Of course, people aren't built happy – that’s why the Universe made a soulmate for each of us. To make us happy. That's how it works.”

“Uh-huh.”

“One day you’ll understand,” your mother continues. “And you will be happier, happier than ever. Your time will come.”

You won't understand.

The Universe made a soulmate for each of us. The Universe made sure we’ll be aware who is the one, the one, as your mother says, who’ll make you happier and complete, too. It's pretty simple. First words addressing you that you would hear from your soulmate get imprinted on the skin of your ribcage. Close to your heart.

The mechanism of The Universe is perfect. But, sometimes, even perfect-made things get broken.

You won't understand because you already have words tattooed on your skin.

“I guess, we can say love is an accident, isn't it?” you say. “Anyway, I gotta go, mom. I'll call you tomorrow?”

“Sure. Take care of yourself. And don't stay up late.”

“We both know I'm gonna stay up late,” you smile. “Bye!”

It happened in cold January, four months ago.

“Shrimp Pad Thai?” Chan asks you.

“Mm, yes,” you say, fluttering your eyelashes innocently. Chan gasps and raises his eyebrows in a fake disbelief, but you don't let him open his mouth to say something very sarcastic about you and your habits in eating. “I'm your customer, where are your manners? What if I leave?”

“Then you'll leave and won't have our Shrimp Pad Thai which you order five days a week,” he shrugs.

“I'm older than you – pay me respect!”

“I do? Always? Our very important customer who always eats the same,” he playfully sing-songs and you roll your eyes, trying your best not to give him a smile.

“Go and get us food already,” Momo says. “Both of you better not play on my nerves when I'm hungry.”

When the orders are made and Chan leaves to the kitchen, you get up from your seat.

“I'm going to wash my hands,” you announce, and your friend nods at it.

On your way to the restrooms you recognize a bunch of boys sitting at the window booth. Kim Mingyu, Wen Junhui and Jeon Wonwoo – all of them are in Soonyoung’s group of friends. Wonwoo smiles and waves his hand and you return the gesture. You nod at Junhui and Mingyu – who looks incredibly soft and cute in his light-gray hoodie with his rose cheeks – seems that the ramen he is eating is too spicy for him. He gives you a little “hey”, smiling at you, and you immediately feel how your own cheeks turn blushy. To prevent your embarrassment in front of them, you try to speed up, but, suddenly, collide with someone.

“Uh, I can feel my chilli sauce dripping.”

You look up at the source of the voice, Chwe Hansol, the new Soonyoung’s roommate you heard a lot about (and you’re aware that Soonyoung not just can’t stop telling embarrassing stories about you to his roommate, but also shows him your pictures, because yes, in Soonyoung’s words, it’s a crime if you don’t put on display your best friend and your wonderful, a movie-worthy, friendship) and, apparently, there is no bottle of chilli sauce in his hands. A smug smile is playing on his lips and his chocolate eyes are glistening with a mischief.

“Nice try,” you don't hide a hint of a wipe in your voice as you start moving towards the restrooms – you swear a trip to them never took that long.

You catch Hansol's gaze on you on the way back to your and Momo’s booth and you have nothing to do but narrow your eyes at him, making him smile even wider.

“He's cute, though. The Hansol guy I mean,” Momo concludes after you finished your dinner. “But no shit they're loud.”

You cast an eye at their boost. Mingyu is the loudest and the most talkative among them – but, somehow, looking at him telling something, wildly gesticulating, makes your heart melt a little.

Stupid, you think, it's almost close to feeling happy.

You spot the tattoo when you go to take a shower that night.

Your heart sinks at the sight of the words.

“Uh, I can feel my chilli sauce dripping.”

You don't tell anyone.

“I can take it as an offend, you know,” Soonyoung whines. “You've been turning down my home party offers for more than a month!”

“Um, you haven’t had any,” you say.

It’s true – you try your best to avoid Hansol, and it works even despite the fact he lives with your best friend (sometimes you’re wondering how Soonyoung and Hansol, the pair of complete opposites, rub along okay together, but maybe opposites indeed attract?). You’re not fond of the idea you reduced all your social interactions, but at least you do your huge amount of homework in time – that’s why Soonyoung once called you a homework-doing machine.

Yes, that’s lame.

“It’s because you didn’t come!”

You’re clearly under pressure. You can crack under it a little bit.

Just a little bit.

“Because I-” you forget what you want to say to explain yourself. Or, rather, to fudge up an excuse to trick Soonyoung and keep staying from Hansol as long as possible. “It’s complicated. Besides, your roommate sticks at home for days on end, and if I want to spend time with you I want us to be alone,” you point at him with your pen.

His eyes are getting wider and wider with each millisecond and finally he gasps,

“Are you in love with me?!”

Well.

“What if I am?” you challenge. At the end of the day, that’s the words of the woman who has nothing to lose.

“I-” it’s Soonyoung, who is under pressure right now. “I love you, you know it-”

“But, there’s always a but,” you sigh in a fake manner. “I understand. Maybe I haven’t yearned it yet,” you place your hand over his, and his eyes are glued to your hands. “But, Soonyoung, I want to hear ‘horanghae’ from you someday. Will my dream come true?”

He lifts up his eyes to you. Soonyoung’s known you for over a decade and he clearly can say you’re on the verge of bursting into a hearty laugh despite your dying attempts to keep your face straight. He snaps his hand away and stands up.

“Yah! You betrayed me!” he points a finger at you. “Yah!” he continues in a voice that is a few octaves higher than his usual. “You are gonna pay for your betrayal!”

“Sure thing,” you manage to say through your laugh. You’re well aware that almost all eyes in the campus cafeteria are on you, but it was quite common when the two of you were together. “I’ll see you in court, horangi.”

You wish you were in court.

Instead, you’re in Soonyoung and Hansol’s kitchen, mixing the sickest possible cocktail ever – and you’re not proud of yourself.

“Why it looks like wiper fluid but tastes like lab alcohol?” Seungkwan asks, wrinkling his nose in disgust. Your mirror his expression.

“Um, the creator would like to take to his own grave the secret receipt of this… shit,” you say.

By the creator you mean Soonyoung. You’re on duty tonight – it’s Hansol and Seokmin’s double birthday party and you’re in charge of everything – your best friend had no mercy for the cafeteria joke.

“Don’t tell me the upcoming birthday cakes have the same creator,” the boy says, patting his blond locks back into place. You assume he was dancing, or, more likely, slamming in the living room, while you hide in the kitchen, still avoiding Seokmin co-star of this night, Hansol.

“Nah, I ordered them in the bakery. Customized ones!”

“You should’ve asked me to bake the cakes,” the third person enters the room, and your heart skips a bit. Mingyu walks towards you and Seungkwan and leans on the counter, still having his eyes on you. “I need to improve my baking skills.”

You feel how your cheeks flushing up. Shit, you curse in your head, he just made an appearance and you’re already turning into mush.

“Next time maybe?” you ask, your voice is much more gentle than usual. “Whose birthday is next?”

“Mine,” smiles Mingyu. “But I don’t want to hold a party this year – wanna share a dinner tete-a-tete with someone.”

“Such a great plan! Except for one thing – you don’t have ‘someone’,” Seungkwan rolls his eyes.

“I’ll find one,” Mingyu’s words are steady but his movements are not. His right elbow slips off the counter, and the boy hisses. “I’m already working on this.”

“Sure thing, tiger,” you smile despite feeling that something is scratching your guts in your belly – disappointment? jealousy? sadness? Maybe all of them and maybe none.

You have a soulmate for fuck’s sake and it’s not Mingyu.

“Whatever,” Seungkwan mutters. “I’m going back to the party and I strongly recommend you to stop hiding here,” he says, looking you right in the eyes. “He won’t bite you, you know?”

“What are you talking about?!” you exclaim, but Seungkwan only shrugs.

“Have no idea.”

You want to follow him, take him by the shoulders and ask about everything he knows about – did Hansol tell him about you? Seems so. Has he, Seungkwan, launched the making of the two of you a couple campaign? If yes, you’re doomed.

Mingyu stops you from storming out of the kitchen – you’re back to the reality with his warm hand wrapped around your wrist and you turn to him in surprise, your cheeks already flushed.

“Yes?” you manage to mumble.

“Who are you hiding from?” he asks, and you almost hear concern in his voice. Or maybe you imagine it all.

“Um- no one? He’s being delusional like always, you know?”

“You sure?’ his hand is getting lower, and unexpectedly you find your fingers intertwining with his. Mingyu’s hand is much larger and warmer than yours, his hold isn’t tight, but it magically makes you forget about the whole the soulmate and his wingman thing.

It makes you forget about everything except for this particular moment – Mingyu’s dark eyes on you, your hand in his and the echo of the music playing in the living room. His bronze skin’s glowing in the dim kitchen light (one of the bulbs is dead and neither Soonyoung or Hansol wants to do something about it), his face is innocent and the only thing you can think about – your uncontrollable desire to kiss off two worry lines between his perfect eyebrows.

You don’t even notice that you’re holding your breath, too afraid to interrupt the moment.

“I’m sure,” you whisper and he nods. Mingyu probably can hear the beating of your racing heart, and you don’t mind at all – you would eagerly tell him how he makes you feel if he wants to know.

He leans closer to you, his breath is tickling the soft skin of your cheek and you hear him ask,

“May I?”

But before you can nod, Seokmin’s piercing voice, like a bolt out of the blue, is calling your name,

“Soonyoung’s trying to kiss me!”

He is louder than any bomb, you think, and that’s enough to take you out of the trance. You slowly turn to him, letting go of Mingyu’s hold on your wrist.

“It’s his way to wish you a happy birthday,” you negotiate, but Seokmin’s gaze is wandering between your and Mingyu’s bodies. His hand follows his eyes, gesturing at the two of you.

“Are you-”

“No, no, no,” you cut him off.

“Man, you need me to get the thing squared away?” Mingyu sounds irritated. You turn your head to steal a look of him. You never saw him like that – at least, not with his friends. Even when his team was defeated at the bowling a month or so ago he seemed worn out, but no hint of irritation on his face – just an exhausted smile combined with a self-mockery behavior. That night you almost regretted saying your wrist was injured so you spent the whole game sipping bubble teas instead of helping your team from sinking to the bottom.

(Jeonghan didn’t buy that spectacular performance, by the way)

“I came to complain?” he looks at you, the eyes so innocent, calling for help, so you smile in response – it’s always like this with Seokmin – the boy can melt even stone hearts.

“Let me check on him,” you say to Seokmin, and he eagerly nods. You pat on Mingyu’s right forearm, your fingers stay on his hard bicep for a little too long, and it makes you lick your lips. “And if he needs to get into bed, I expect some help from you, Mingyu.”

His face softens, and he chuckles, closing his eyes for a second.

“Let’s get it then.”

“I ain’t leaving till I help you with this,” Mingyu says, referring to the apartment that looks like a battlefield (of beer pong). “You already look tired.”

“I’m tired,” you admit. “But you have classes like in…” you check your watch. “…four hours.”

“I’ll sit in the back of the classroom,” seeing the question in your eyes, he adds. “I’ll catch some sleep, don’t worry.”

“Sounds stupid, but I guess nothing would change your mind,” you give up, and a proud smile appears on his face. “The living room is yours then,” you give him an evil smile, your hand lands on his firm chest, patting it twice. “Have fun!”

When you step into the kitchen, a sigh of disappointment leaves your lips, despite your vain attempt to suppress it.

Hansol sits in the white plastic chair, mindlessly scrolling through whichever app is it’s feed. He looks up at you, but he next second his eyes are back on the screen.

Your body feels stiff, like you’re made of wood, but you force yourself to approach the counter. The desire to disappear is so strong that you find yourself not breathing at all – like if you make less noises, the more Hansol is unaware you’re in the same room with him.

You grab a handful of orange peels to throw in the trash can under the sink when you hear Hansol voice, “Why didn’t you throw out all of them?” You turn to the boy, cheeks already red, and anger is bubbling in your stomach. It doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and he lets a hoarse laugh.

“I’m joking, jeez. No need to sulk.”

You don’t return his smile, instead turning away from him to take the leftovers, and say,

“It couldn’t fit in my hand.”

He coos at your words, and you feel stupid.

“Soonyoung was right. You’re an absolute doll.”

“Not impressed,” you roll your eyes, but you feel no confidence in your voice. You face Hansol again, a mischievous glint in his big eyes can be spotted even from across the kitchen. “Your eyes are red,” you notice. “Are you stoned?”

“Maybe so,” he yawns, stretching out in the chair that is about to crack under his weight at any minute. “I don’t mind you tucking me in, though. You seem to be a pro.”

“Well, don’t overdo it,” you say. “The scientists say weed makes people stupid.”

“And affects their memory,” he adds. “But it makes me copy.”

“With what?”

Hansol shrugs and his gaze falls to his knees. He radiates hesitation, and you gulp the pulse in your throat, afraid to hear the truth.

“With me being avoided by my own soulmate like I’m sorta of a plague? Sorta.”

A wave of pure heat that feels like a fever, a bad fever, runs through your body. The whole soulmate thing was supposed to be a blessing, but it feels like a curse. Without thinking, you pathetically mumble,

“I thought you don’t care.”

You really did. For the last few weeks you’ve been living in the bubble made of your own sorrows, disappointments, and self-pity, and the thought of what Hansol feels and thinks about it never crossed your mind.

“Whatever,” he says. “I got your point.”

Hansol doesn’t wait for the unspoken words that are stuck in the back of your throat, ringing in your ears over and over as you watch him leaving the kitchen. He stops at the doorframe with his hand in his dark locks – it’s so odd to see him not wearing a beanie – and slowly turns to you.

“Leave this shit to Soonyoung,” he says.

“Okay,” you mutter.

He calls your name, shooting the arrow of guilt right into your heart.

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

When Mingyu returns to ask where he can find another bag for trash, you cling to the boy’s chest, and skipping all the questions on the tip of his tongue, Mingyu clasps his arms around you. His chin is snuggling upon your head and you feel pressure inside of the bubble reducing a little.

But a tremendous guilt envelops you with each minute.

Momo stares at your figure as you sit across her – your hair cascading down onto your hunched shoulders, your face is covered with your hands, and the girl only huffs.

“Should I expect some fake sobs?”

You spare a fiery glance at her, but she just waves you off in dismisal. Momo doesn’t even trying to hide her irritation with you – the first thing she asked you after you finally had decided to spill the whole situation to her was ‘Could you have taken any longer to tell me?” and you can’t blame her.

“Yah, leave these tricks for your future sweetheart Sollie. I’m not buying it.”

“He is not my future sweetheart,” you argue. “It doesn’t work!”

“Because you never gave it a chance,” she isn’t convinced, and her stern tone makes you consider the words more carefully.

“He hates me now!”

“First, you deserved it. No offense. Second, he seems like a crackhead, such people don’t hate other people, they just don’t care about them.”

“Don’t talk about him like that!” you exclaim, and her face breaks into a triumphant smile. “What?”

“Look at you, already defending your soulmate,” she says in a saccharine voice. “Ask him out and fall in love. Choose life. Choose a loveseat coach.”

“Isn’t it from Trainspotting movie?” you question, narrowing your eyes.

“And what about it?” she huffs once again. “It doesn’t make me wrong. It always starts with a crush. Just let it happen.”

A crush, huh? A crush that makes your heart beats harder; that sends you floating in your daydreams; that makes you the happiest person in the whole universe, but at the same time has the power to make you sadder than the most distant and loneliest star from the Sun?

Just like the one you have on Mingyu?

Momo still doesn’t know how you feel about the tall, black-haired boy, and you aren’t ready to tell her the truth. Partly because you want to protect this thing from the outer world, make it special, make it a secret that can be kept by the two only, and, partly because you’ll face the wall of misunderstanding. You could fool around with the boys before, but now you’re certain with the one who is destined for you. And you can’t – you shouldn’t – seek for another lover. It’s wrong.

The ability to make all your problems yourself will never fail to amaze you.

“Fine,” you say through gritted teeth. “If you’re so smart.”

“I could’ve been your mother, though. You should follow my every word.”

“Momo, we literally were born in the same decade,” you sigh, but the girl has no intention to follow any of your words.

[mingyyuu 17:13] it’s so cold today!! stay inside 🖤

[you 17:14] too late :// plans!!

[mingyyuu 17:16] any plans for tomorrow?

[you 17:16] not yet

[mingyyuu 17:17] now you have some!

The boy continues to type, but you have to put the phone in the back pocket of your jeans – you’re awkwardly shifting your weight from one foot to the other at the doorstep, not able to say anything – even a small ‘hello’.

“Soonyoung’s at the dance practice,” Hansol breaks the silence.

“I know his schedule better than he does,” you can’t help but roll your eyes. “I came for your soul.”

Hansol raises his brows, his eyes never leave yours as he steps aside to let you in. The boy helps you with your jacket, and you mutter a small ‘thank you’, hoping he’ll take the initiative, even despite the fact it’s you who came to talk.

“How are you doin’?” maybe it’s a soulmate thing to read each other’s mind? You look at Hansol and you have a feeling that you’ll never be able to go through the guard around him and straight to his head. His expression is neutral, and you admit that he doesn’t even need to try look beautiful.

“Nothing much,” you response. “What ‘bout you?”

“Okay. Wanna drink something?”

“A pepsi please?”

“We only have a few cans of coke, do you wanna?”

You already feel strange of that crazy amount of questions for the beginning – the situation becomes more and more awkward that you’re able to feel the pressure of the air in the room. Your temples pulse a little, threating a headache.

“Nah, I’m fine then,” you say, taking a deep breath. “I came here to say I’m sorry and-”

“And?”

“Do you think we should be together?”

“It how it works,” he lets out a dry laugh. Hansol looks down to your face, his hand reaches out to stroke your shoulder. “Hey, you okay?”

The grip on your temples is too tight to bear, and you let out a heavy pant.

“My head hurts,” you explain, squeezing your eyes shut – the light is too bright.

“You need to lie down,” Hansol says. “It’s probably because the temperature difference between inside and outside. I’ll bring painkillers to Soonyoung’s bedroom.”

You nod, heading off to the bedroom. What a great wat to talk - show up at someone’s doorstep just to say you have a headache. Great. Not bothering yourself with discarding your clothes, you collapse stomach-down onto the bed without removing the cover, your face is buried in the soft material.

“Shit, you’ll suffocate if you stay like this,” Hansol’s deep voice wafts on your ears. You slowly lean on your elbows to steal a glance at him. After placing the glass of water and the blister of painkillers at the night stand, he gets down on his haunches, his eyes at the same level as yours. You stay like this for some time, not saying a word, mesmerized by his face.

“What did you do before I came?” you ask out of sudden. Hansol seems to be taken aback with your question.

“Tried to make some music,” he gawks, blinking at you.

“Really?” you ask in a low voice.

“Mostly checked the mic with some ‘yeah’s’ and ‘yo’s’”, he admits, an amusing laugh escapes his mouth. “I’ll try to do something while you’re resting, good?”

You nod you head and smile at him. He gently squeezes your shoulder and stands up. Before he disappears out of the bedroom, you say,

“Do you have any siblings?”

He turns to you, leaning back against the wall.

“Yeah. I have a little sister. You?”

You shake your head no and he nods.

“But it was easy to guess you’re not the only child, though,” it’s difficult to see his face in the darkness, but your eyes never leave him.

“How so?”

“You offer a compromise when it's unnecessarily,” you sniggle. “A man of settled habits.”

You see his wide smile in the dark.

You force your eyes open and sit up in the bed, your hair disheveled and slightly damp at the back of your neck. Headache has gone, at least for now, but your throat feels dry. When you come to the kitchen, you see the note in Hansol’s infamous unsteady handwriting left on the counter:

you can find pepsi in the fridge!

You smile at the gesture and inside you sense warmth.

You knock at Hansol’s bedroom door twice and after the boy calls out for your entry, you slip through the door.

Hansol sits at the table, bobbing his head in time with the song that hums from the speakers. His eyes are glued to his laptop, the headphones rest above his ears.

“Does the work go smoothly?” you ask, sitting at the corner of his bed. He turns to face you; a soft smile is playing on his lips.

“Yeah, it’s okay. There are many things that I think I’m lacking in, but I work on them,” he says in a serious tone. “But I’ve finally finished the song that had been haunting me for weeks.”

“Oh, that’s great!” you beam at him.

“Your snoring from the next room inspired me,” he places his hand over his heart. “I’ll be forever grateful for that.”

You lightly kick his calf, and the boy laughs. Rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes, he draws his attention back to you.

“Feel better?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you answer. Nodding, Hansol notices your gaze focusing on the screen of his laptop. There’re the unknown for you tools placed on his table, except for the microphone, of course, and you’re wondering what kind of music he’s into.

“Wanna hear it?” he asks, once again showing his amazing ability to read your mind.

“Yes!” you hearty nod. “Want my headache to be back.”

Hansol rolls his eyes, muttering a small ‘sure’ under his breath, and places the mouse cursor over the play button. The speakers are small, but even despite it you sense the music vibrate through your body. The beat is harsh, his voice is piercing, and it feels like the most Hansol’s thing he could’ve ever done, but at the same time you’ve got an inkling that the tune and the lyrics were created by his mysterious twin.

“You really made this?” your eyes are wide and your hand clutches hold of his wrist.

“Yeah,” he hums nervously, bringing his free hand to rub at the back of his head.

“It’s good! I can’t believe you haven’t signed a ten-million dollars contract yet!”

“You heard just one song,” he smiles in a protest. “Thanks anyway.”

“I’m right, though,” you say, your hand leaving his as you smile at him. “You should be a star! I can’t say what I liked about it ‘cause I don’t know anything about music, but the whole thing is perfect!”

He looks up to you, your cheeks flushed with passion and your eyes glisten as candles burn bright, and it brings a proud smile on his lips.

“You’re beautiful,” he blurts.

“You’re beautiful too,” your words are sincere, filled with pure appreciation you have for this melted chocolate eyed boy. The idea of you frightened of meeting him a few hours ago seems like a pure absurd right now – when the two of you sit that close to each other, you having a string of questions to ask him about his life, interests, hopes and dreams, and on your tongue the whole story of your life is tingling to be uttered at the same time.

“It was unexpected,” he chuckles. “Thanks again.”

“Thanks for the pepsi,” you return. “I thought you had only coke?”

“Um, I went to the convenience store across the street while you were asleep,” he says, his eyes are wandering on the wall. You can hardly take a breath.

“You shouldn’t have,” you say.

“It’s not a big deal,” he shrugs. Nodding, you slip off his bed and go toward the window. Leaning your forehead against the cool glass, you take a deep breath.

“Is Soonyoung still at the practice?” you ask, your voice is low.

“I guess,” Hansol perches at the windowsill. “I kinda lost track of time.”

You feel the heat his body radiates. Theoretically, you think, you find him somewhat sexy, really manly. His long scraggy neck, broad shoulders, a spectacular torso you can notice even under his oversized t-shirts, and athletic thighs. A month ago, your informant told you that Hansol barely shows up in the gym, and you wonder if the boy was gifted with capability of being perfect without even trying.

And still, he isn’t Mingyu, who makes you feel being in love.

You want to tell Mingyu the truth about your wrong destiny, your aching heart that can be healed with his smile only, and the feeling of your stomach filled with butterflies. You want him to hold your hand, pushing all the doubts and fears away, and make you his. His, despite the cruel joke The Universe played on you.

You think, you have a feeling, he would understand it, because he believes in strength of choice. Mingyu is in a constant state of moving forward, overcoming all obstacles he might face.

Would it be the first time when he stops?

You and Hansol both stay silent till the whole apartment echoes with Soonyoung’s ringing voice.

“Woah, I like the pictures!” Mingyu approves with a hum, adjusting something on his camera. “They’re perfect.”

“Because they’re pictures of me or because it’s you who took them?” you smile, a playful glint in your eyes as you nudge him.

“Let me think,” the boy stops in his tracks, his brows furrow in a fake manner, indicating he is absorbed in his thoughts. “Both.”

“Wow,” you play along, shaking your head and pressing your lips together. “Groundbreaking.”

He giggles and slides his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“Wish I could tickle you right now, bit your jacket doesn’t give a chance.”

You shove off his hand and see a small pout forming on his plush lips.

“It’s my protection from pervs like you, Mingyu,” you smile innocently, casting sheeps eyes on him.

“Pervs don’t ask for a permission,” he opposes matter-of-factly. You raise your brows at him in question, and it doesn’t take long for him to explain. “Let me kiss you.”

You raise your head at Mingyu to see him smiling down at you with shining eyes, his cheeks are glowing from the frosty air.

“Go ahead,” you smile, and he leans down and kiss you. His lips are warm and sweet, and you never expect to feel care through a kiss as his mouth is covering yours. His hand cups your cheek while the other is placed tightly at the base of your neck. You trace your tongue against his lower lip, his tongue is eager to meet yours. You tease the inside of his mouth, and Mingyu lets out a small groan, which is enough to bring you to senses, and you break the kiss.

“We’re outside, Guy,” you softly remind him, your grip at his forearms is loosen.

“And so?” he whines, tugging at your sleeves to keep you body close to him.

“And we’re late,” you try to reason, but frankly speaking, you better would have stayed in the previous position you shared with Mingyu than going anywhere. “Let’s go. The sooner we start, the sooner we leave.”

The idea of karaoke night seemed promising, to say at least, but with Seungkwan occupying the microphone and Seokmin taking the guise of being his bodyguard, preventing any attempt of borrowing the tool out of his hands, ebullience faded into despair.

Jun is scrolling through his phone, and you find it okay; Soonyoung is busying himself with fourth bowl of ramen in a row, and it begins to worry you; Jihoon is yawning in thirsty eight second intervals, and the fact of you really counting begins to worry you; Mingyu’s playing with your hands, his head rests against your shoulder, you find it normal too.

You toy with his dark hair and lower yourself to whisper in his ear.

“Take me out.”

“Your wish is my command,” Mingyu smiles with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. He straightens up off the sofa and extends his hand to you. You stretch out your own hand and place it in Mingyu’s warm palm.

After wrapping everyone, except for Seungkwan who is too absorbed in the singing and waves the two of you off in dismissal, for a goodbye hug, you go downstairs to put the clothes on.

“Stop staring,” you say to Mingyu, catching his gaze in the mirror, a smile parts your lips. You pull up the hood of your jacket and turn to the boy.

“Can’t help it,” he admits, reaching out and tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His thumb is stroking your cheek gently, and he leans to steal a kiss from your lips.

“Oh, shit,” Seungkwan says, puckering his face into a frown. “Came to say my goodbye, but this,” he gestures at the two of you.

“Grow up,” Mingyu shrugs his shoulders. Seungkwan’s glare bores a hole right through your head, and you can only silently pray for him to not allow his anger upstage his reason.

“Seungkwan, please,” you say. “Let’s talk about it later.”

“Sure,” the younger boy rolls his eyes. “It’s not me who you should talk to, though.”

“What’s the problem?” Mingyu groans in frustration.

“I don’t know. What’s your problem?” Seungkwan scoffs, shifting his gaze from Mingyu to you and back to Mingyu again.

“It’s none of your business,” you snap. “I’m not in the mood for one of your soap operas.”

You storm out of the building, your blood is boiling with the mixture of anger, fear, and realization of all things you used to have fell to pieces in a matter of seconds.

“Hey, wait,” Mingyu grabs your hand, and you stop, too afraid to look at him. “What’s the matter?”

You’re struck by an incredible sense of fear, of confusion, of vulnerability, but you finally have to face the reality.

“The problem is,” you sigh. “Hansol is my soulmate.”

“Don’t cry,” Soonyoung tries to conciliate you, his hand is rubbing against your back, and he tightens the embrace. “I’m here for you.”

At this point, you even hate yourself for the damp spot on his sweatshirt made with your tears. You want to concentrate on Soonyoung’s words uttered in a small voice, almost whispering, but as you think about Mingyu, about how on his face thoughts and feelings seemed connate – his pained stare said everything, – standing in front of you, you feel a sharp pain in your heart.

“Do you despise me?” your voice sounds desperate.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t ask such a shitty question to my best friend,” he says. “You’re the best.”

You laugh bitterly. Soonyoung treats you too nicely – without asking why you’d been keeping so many secrets from him till this night, rebuking Seungkwan for standing guard over Hansol’s feelings, promising Mingyu will pay dearly in the nearest future for his superior sense of morality or whatever.

“What about Hansol?” you ask him, your eyes still are full of tears and pain, but you force a small smile.

“Will kick him out,” his voice is firm, and you sink your face into the soft material of his cloth, suppressing a bigger smile that threats to appear on your lips.

“Soonyoung, I’ve made four enemies this year, and it’s only the end of February,” your voice is muffled as you keep pressing your face onto the boy’s chest. “Momo, Mingyu, Hansol, Seungkwan – all of them hate me for being stupid, for not telling the truth, for being a bitch, for-”

“Shh. It’s their problem, not yours. It’s them who won’t survive ‘cause they made enemies of us. Listen to me,” he calls your name, making a passionate appeal. “We’re undefeatable, you and me.”

You lift your head at him, finding him keeping his eyes on the ceiling in a dramatic way, and you snicker. His lips twist into a broad smile, and he looks at you.

“They don’t hate you,” he says. “Life is complicating, so are we. They know about it.”

You meet Mingyu at the library. There are dark circles beneath his eyes, and he’s surprisingly quiet.

“Seungkwan said Hansol fell for you only after Soonyoung’s countless ramblings about you. He indeed stared at your pics, I suppose.”

He’s in pain.

You feel empty inside; a terrible anguish seizes your heart.

“Do you feel the same about him?” an involuntary question slips off his tongue.

You want to say it’s him, it’s only him who made you fall, who made you feel at ease, who made you want to give and not just to take, but you can’t.

He waits for a response you’ll never be able to come up with.

This night you cry yourself to sleep.

Weeks go by.

The three of you – you, Hansol, and Soonyoung – glue your eyes to the television set placed at the wall of the boys’ living-room. Watching different tv series with them somehow has turned into therapy sessions – despite experiencing triggers at almost everything that is shown, you feel you’re not alone. The two of them act like nothing happened, and all of you are ready to meet your soulmates someday.

But, if nothing happened, why Mingyu’s name is forbidden from saying out loud because it would fill you with pain?

“You have popcorn crumbs on your shirt,” you notice, pointing at Soonyoung with the remote in your hand.

“I preferred watching tv to reading books when i was younger,” the boy says, dusting the crumbs off his torso and lap.

“And it shows,” you tease. Soonyoung gives you a light pinch on the side and straightens up with a huff.

“I’m going to bed,” he announces. “The bathroom is occupied for the next thirty minutes.”

Hansol nods and bids Soonyoung goodnight as you blow him a kiss – his laughter never fails to boost your mood.

“Resuming?” you ask Hansol. “I’m not sleepy.”

“Neither am I.”

It’s completely dark apart from the television’s dim yellow glow. Somehow, you find yourself being distracted by almost everything – the pattern of the wooden floor, the material of the couch, the streetlamp right outside the window, the plant that is going to die soon due to Soonyoung and Hansol’s lack of care.

Hansol.

His eyes flicker in your direction, catching you staring at him. You don’t look away.

“Am I more interesting than the show?” he asks, not expecting you reply with a quiet ‘yes’. A blush coloring his cheeks can be spotted even in the poorly illuminated room.

“You’re so shy sometimes,” you remark in a low voice. “You didn’t seem so when I first met you.”

“I felt some courage out of nothing,” he shakes his head, his long and slender fingers tapping his knees. “When I saw you.”

You sigh. How the Universe can be broken? Maybe you’re broken?

“I read that if you’re dealing with schizophrenia your emotions are mixed up – you feel something you shouldn’t have felt and express something you don’t feel.”

“Scientific facts again, huh? You’re referring to me?” he grins.

“To myself, I guess,” there is no smile at your features as you sigh. “Or maybe it’s – I don’t know, to be honest.”

“Hey, I know its not gonna work but I’ll say it anyway,” he reaches out his hand to yours and gently squeezes it. “Don’t think shit about yourself. Don’t say shit,” he pauses. “When the words appeared I was surprised, no shit. But as I find out more and more things about you, all of it start to make sense. I don’t want anyone’s words but yours on me. That’s it. That’s the thing I feel.”

He’s beautiful, you think, very beautiful.

Your eyes wander over his face and finally stop at his lips. The contour of his mouth is perfect – Hansol’s lips aren’t plump, but neither are thin – just perfect – and the little bruise on his lower lip makes you unable to brush your overwhelming desire to have a lick over this exact spot. You hesitate – and even now the image of Mingyu settles on you.

But when you feel Hansol’s lips on yours, you let him in. He claims your mouth passionately, and you slide your hands into his hair, pulling on his locks, and he groans in your mouth. When you pull back for a moment, your eyes flooded with haze, Hansol traces his thumb over your slick with his spit lips, sending a shiver down your spine. He leans onto you again, his lips ghosting over yours, the redolent scent of his musky cologne makes your head even more dizzy.

“I want you,” he whispers into your lips, his voice is cracking.

“You can have me,” you breathe out, closing your eyes as his lips decorate your neck in sloppy kisses.

You can have me, but can you have my heart?

The question finds lodgment in your mind.

You might lose the thing you love the most, but life goes on… and here we stand.

You’ve discovered you’re an excellent pretender.

Pretend you think nothing of going without sleep for several nights and then attend your classes. Pretend you’re not tired. Pretend you like the tasteless dish in the restaurant Momo brought you to. Pretend it’s not painful to be in the same room with Mingyu. Pretend you love Hansol back.

“My legs are killing me,” Seungkwan whines. “I just don’t know how much more of it I can take.”

Same, you think, fucking same.

“Wait a little more and I’ll buy you a hotdog,” Mingyu promises, looking over his shoulder to see you wearily stagger behind them. The combination of the three of you is weird, you find, but life goes on, isn’t it?

It’s May, and the three is you are stuck in Ikea’s mazes – Mingyu needs to buy some new furniture – this is what brings him to the mall, but also Mingyu needs someone to keep him company – and this is what brings you and Seungkwan to the same place. Mingyu calls your name, and you lift your head, furrowing your eyebrows in a question.

“You good? How ‘bout a few hotdogs after?”

“And milkshakes,” Seungkwan adds.

“Just an ice cream please,” you mumble, and he nods. Sometimes it’s so awkward – to be around him. Sometimes it’s natural. But mostly it’s painful.

Standing in the parking lot, waiting for Mingyu and Seungkwan while they’re stuffing the things Mingyu bought into the trunk of his car, you dumbly watch the ice cream steadily dripping down your hand.

Damn.

No ice cream can help you feel good even a bit.

You enter Hansol’s bedroom and find him at the wooden floor, lying on his back, eyes closed. With his arms and legs splayed out, he reminds you a giant starfish.

“Are you even breathing?” you chuckle, bending over him.

“I am,” Hansol smiles, his eyes stay closed, and he taps slightly on his chest. “C’mere.”

You oblige, your head nestle against his chest, and you hear his steady heartbeat. He wraps his left arm around you and inhales deeply.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes out of sudden, and you turn your head to look at him. “The first words were stupid, and you’ll have them for forever.”

“Suit us very well,” you poke, and he sniffs, reaching out to slightly pinch your cheek. “Hey! Stop!”

Hansol laughs, squeezing you tighter, and the sound of his slow and steady breathing lulls you to sleep. Your gaze is directed at the ceiling as you try to fight against sleep. “You’re so composed, but also so goofy, but also so delicate,” you sigh, thinking out loud as your fingertips trace up and down the soft skin of his wrist. Hansol’s warm. “But the first words were wacky,” you chuckle. “What’ve done to deserve them?”

“It was Russian roulette, baby,” he hums, and you can hear him smiling.

You fall asleep like that. You dream about buying the beige sofa you saw in Ikea and Mingyu’s endless attempts to change your mind – the green one is a way better, he insists. The green one would suit the interior perfectly, you agree with him, but the beige one is so classy, and maybe even a little obligatory? Every apartment should have one, but Mingyu only shakes his head in frustration.

“I'm not sure you’re one hundred percent positive about what you’re convincing me of,” he purses his lips.

Dreams that are hardly can be distinguish from reality are exhausting. You wish there was a way to put this worry to bed once and for all.

“Okay, so the concept of your birthday party is dubstep,” you verify. “And the main dish excepted for a barbeque duck is an ice cream cake?”

“I scream, you scream, gimme that ice cream,” Soonyoung’s enjoyment is evidenced by his wide smile. You playfully roll your eyes, not really hiding the excitement you share with him.

“Why do I feel that we’re constantly hanging out at birthday parties?” Hansol asks, peering at his phone screen, not bothering to straighten his head from its bending position.

“Because our friend group is too huge for people our age,” you make a point.

“It’s so expensive to have a lot of friends,” Soonyoung complains, but when he meets your questionable gaze, he adds. “But for you, my bestie, money’s no object.”

“Good to know,” you laugh, your fingers leisurely run above the rim of the empty cup of matcha latte. “I’m more upset about my dear boyfriend didn’t show any interest in volunteering at preps for the party.”

Hansol smiles, tapping on his phone, his eyes are anchored on the screen, and you narrow your expression at him, shaking your head in a scolding manner.

“And now he pretends he doesn’t hear me,” you say. “Wonderful, isn’t it?”

Hansol’s face brightens and broadens out into a beaming smile, and the sound of Soonyoung’s giggles fills the air.

“I’ll ask Seokmin to help you,” the older boy suggests, and you raise your eyebrow at him.

“I know you’re saying it for the best of reasons, but Seokmin rather is a distraction than a help,” you debate, and Soonyoung raises his small hands in surrender, his eyes becoming crescent-shaped due to his laugh.

“Okay, I’ll send backup,” he promises. “At the end of the day, Mingyu’s good at cooking and cleaning.”

It would’ve been hard for him not to realize he put his foot in his mouth mentioning Mingyu as the mood tensely shifts. You freeze, alike Hansol, his thumb is hovering over the phone screen for seconds. Soonyoung offers you an apologetic smile, and you smile at the boy back, reassuring him it’s okay – he really did nothing wrong. Hansol’s avoiding your questioning gaze, hiding his eyes behind his curly bangs, and you gently brush a section of his hair from his face, wanting to see him clearly.

“Are you jealous, Sollie?” you try to joke, a soft smile playing on your lips, your hand placed on his cheek. As he raises his eyes at you, nerves are evident in them, your heart sinks, and you feel breathless. He won’t ask you if he should be, he won’t make any scenes – but he may shut himself off, locking his feelings deep inside, and you fear it the most. You don’t mean to hurt him, but you’re still providing him a good amount of pain – he isn’t an idiot who can’t figure out that Mingyu’s never really left your heart.

“No,” he simply says. “I’ll help you with everything.”

“You’re a bigger distraction than Seokmin for me, but how can I say no to my sweet boyfriend?” you take his offer, your thumb is stroking his cheek, and the action soothes away the tension he has. Hansol smiles gently at you, and for a second, you’re wondering if he is as good at pretending as you are.

“How did you manage to rent this beach house?” Soonyoung asks in a pure awe. “Such places are always booked!”

“Nothing’s impossible when you love your friend,” you muse. “Besides, thank Hansol – he used his “music industry contacts” to make you happy.”

“Hey, you insult me using air quotes around ‘music industry contacts’,” Hansol slides his arm around your waist, tugging you closer to him, and places a quick peck on the tip of your nose. You stab him in the chest with your index finger, and he fakes a gasp.

“Eavesdropping?” you ask.

“Learning a lot about me,” he grins and draws his attention to the birthday boy. “Like the party?”

“No shit,” Soonyoung laughs. “I’ll like it better if you dance with me,” he says your name, his eyes sparkle brighter than colorful lights blasting through the house.

“Anything for a five stars rate.”

You’re out of breath, the clothes stick to your covered in sweat body, and you wince.

“I’m done,” you announce to Soonyoung, his batteries fully charged as he continues his active dance.

“Get some fresh air and come back!” he yells over the music, and you nod. Crossing the room to the back porch, you spot Hansol in the corner, talking to Joshua and showing the older boy something on his phone screen. Unnoticed, you go directly to the shore until the music of the party drowns in the sound waves, and inhale warm salty air. The water seems so tempting, calling you to step into the waves, their rhythm is hypnotizing you, and you kick your shoes off, perfectly understand the night water is too cold for swimming.

A familiar voice stops you, calling your name. You turn around, greeted with Mingyu’s tall figure, shining like a bronze statue, his tanned skin sheens magical when graced by the evening sun.

“Why do you always tend to sneak out?” he asks, once he made it up to you, a warm smile already crept onto his mouth as he saw you.

“I don’t know, maybe I just like being in crowds,” you shrug your shoulders – it’s true. You really don’t know the answer. He moves closer to you, and you finally spot a small bouquet in his hand. His eyes follow yours, and he chuckles.

“It’s for you,” he shyly passes you the flowers, his teeth press into his bottom lips. “I passed by those wildflowers on my way here and picked them for you.”

“It’s not my birthday,” you laugh. “But thank you, I love it,” you say, nuzzling your nose against the tender petals. You look up at the boy and lock your eyes with his, a tickling feeling spreading in your chest. The waves are lapping on the peaceful and quiet shore, but you feel electricity surging through your body. You stand on your tiptoes and place a delicate kiss on his soft cheek, the action is innocent, but for Mingyu it’s like hearing a starting whistle.

“You’re still in my thoughts,” he breathes. “Still here,” he reaches over to grab your hand and place it over his chest, and through your fingertips you’re able to feel his rapid heart. Tears are starting to form at the rim of your eyes, and your vision becomes blurred. Your fingers crawl into the flowers he gave you, pressing against the vulnerable stems. “It’s egoistic, I know, you’re dating my friend, your soulmate, but why does it feel like you’re mine?”

“I don’t know,” you sob. The next second you find yourself against his firm chest and you inhale his scent that feels like home. Not a place where you live, but home. He plants a kiss to the crown of your head and puts his hands on your shoulders.

“Look at me,” the golden boy suddenly says. “Please.”

You look up at him and see his eyes briefly dropping to your lips, and despite yourself you feel that familiar tingling in your gut, wanting him to kiss you. He reads you like an open book and he is kissing you, his lips softly press against yours, a tender flavor on your tongue.

“Mingyu,” you whisper in a small voice, pulling out from him. “I can’t. I can’t do this to Hansol.”

The boy looks at you with a pained expression, and in his eyes you can see that he wishes he didn’t have a heart at all.

“I’m sorry, angel,” he mutters, and you nod your head, your heart is swelling at the nickname.

“I know. I’m sorry too.”

You lock yourself up in the bathroom, hoping no one saw your state while you were hurrying upstairs. Suddenly, someone tries the handle, but it jingles with no success.

“It’s occupied!” you try your best to sound calm, but your voice is trembling.

“It’s me,” Hansol’s muffled voice leaks through the door. “Let me in.”

You turn the lock and face Hansol, your eyes are all red and watery from crying. The boy locks the door behind him and turns to face you, his piercing eyes burn right into your soul.

“You love him,” he says, too delicate to torture you with questions, and you feel even worse – if it’s possible – paralyzed with fear and regrets, guilt eating you inside out, and you swallow the lump in your throat. You let out a wet sob, not being able to look into his sad eyes.

You broke his heart.

“I’m sorry, Sol,” you say, feeling powerless, loss for words to say to him, to explain yourself, to apologize. “I don’t know what should I do. I don’t know what should we do.”

“If he makes you happier than I could,” he looks above your head. “I’ll accept it someday.”

“You don’t deserve this,” you say, feeling so stupid, only wishing that the floor would open up and swallow you.

“Maybe soulmates aren’t bond only by romantic shit,” his deep voice comes to you through the mist. You don’t ask him to give you a chance, don’t change his mind – maybe this painful reveal of the truth will make your heart feel a little bit lighter one day, even if right now you’re sure this is never going to happen.

You don’t complain and do not want pity from anyone – you’re sick and tired of Soonyoung tiptoeing around you, trying to keep you from collapsing; of the silent treatment Seungkwan gives you, scornful looks he spares you every single time you see him get you to another level of anger; of a constant scratching sense of guilt you’ve been racked with since your break-up with Hansol, but somehow he never blames you even if he should; of Momo dragging you to the shop malls and making you keep shopping until you cheer up.

Of you can’t getting up the nerve to answer any of Mingyu’s calls, too afraid of something you can’t even describe.

Momo’s straight face catches you off guard, and you only gasp,

“He what?! No, no, no,” you shake your head in disbelief. “You’re making this up.”

“What for?” the girl rolls her eyes back deep into their sockets. “Mingyu invited you to his picnic party or whatever through me cause you’re too deaf to pick up your phone, nothing special.”

“Will you come with me?” your eyes meet hers in the bathroom mirror, your expression makes Momo give you her infamous crinkly-eyed smile.

“He didn’t ask me to come – only you,” she purrs, taking her lip gloss out of the small bag. “He’s so fucking in love with you, you little witch.”

“I-” you stutter, the crimson red blush spreads across your cheeks, and Momo laughs and gives you a playful shove.

“Don’t you dare to say no,” she warns. “You’ll deal with me.”

“What would I do without you, Momo?” you smile at her. Even if you asked playfully, you really mean it – and the warmth in your chest proves it.

Mingyu seems nervous as he clumsy steps into your apartment, his chest is tensed with the breath he holds. The boy is dressed in a loose white t-shirt and high-wasted velvety pants, and you sigh in relief – the picnic party - as Momo called it - obviously wasn’t planned as something fancy.

“Thanks for picking me up,” you smile.

“Thanks for coming. Means a world,” he says, poking his cheek with his tongue, a shy smile follows his words. You missed him. Missed everything about him – the small giggles he lets while talking with that slight lisp to you, the shake of his head when he can’t understand something, the pout appearing on his plump lips when he realizes the item he wanted to buy is out of stock, the bright smile beaming on his face while he spills out his ideas for photography, the warmth of his palm holding yours in the pocket of his woolen coat.

“Who else is gonna be there?” you ask during your drive to the beach – Mingyu found the place perfect for a picnic, especially in the hot summer.

“Um,” he hesitates for a moment, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to look at you. “It’s just the two of us.”

“Oh,” you breath. “I see. Momo didn’t tell me.”

“Blame yourself for leaving me on read,” he grins obnoxiously and you roll your eyes defensively. “Now you’re stuck with me. I forgot to mention one thing, though.”

“Which one?” you rake your eyes over him, admiring how the sun’s rays paint his skin in a golden glitter. “It’s a date.”

You dig your toes into the cool sand, glancing into the evening sky. Mingyu follows your eyeline.

“You can’t see the stars for reflected light from the city,” you notice. “But here we have a chance.”

“No way,” Mingyu protests. “And you know why?”

“Why so?” you turn your face to him, a big smile spread on his lips.

“All Seoul’s stars are in your eyes,” he is smiling so wide that his cheeks must have hurt and he pulls you closer, wrapping both arms around you, tugging you into his lap.

“Shut up,” you laugh, smacking him on the chest, your fingers touching the soft fabric of his shirt. Mingyu’s lips are ghosting over your cheek for a moment before he speaks again,

“But I have lots of things to say,” Mingyu murmurs, biting softly at your earlobe, and a very familiar feeling creeps up into the pit of your stomach.

“Like what?”

“Like, let’s swim,” he takes you aback with the suggestion and you blink at him dumbly. “I didn’t bring my swimsuit with me,” you say.

“Doesn’t matter,” he shrugs. “We’re alone here. No one’ll see.”

You push up from his body and meet his eyes glossy with playfulness and challenge, and you nod at his words. Mingyu grinning at you mischievously, while he removes his clothes – his shirt and pants find their place at the sand – as you see each piece of his skin revealing itself. You inhale deeply, and he leans his head closer to yours, the warm palms rubbing up and down your arms.

“Don’t be nervous,” he whispers, and you’re surprised he can tell this just from your body language, and it makes your heart flutter, pounding even faster against your ribcage. His words encourage you, and he silently watches you removing your dress, the only pieces of clothing on your skin are your bra and panties. Mingyu gently squeezes your hand, his thumb softly strokes back and forth over your knuckles. “Catch me.”

And within a couple of seconds, he is already pushing into the water, everything below his waist out of sight. You slowly step onto the sparkling waves, a lazy smile playing on your lips, as you see Mingyu splashing over to you with a childish pout on his face.

“You’re supposed to catch me, but you don’t even try,” he whines and steps closer to you, pressing his hands to either sides of your neck, his thumb rubbing the hollow of your throat. He looks dreamlike with his skin stick from the water, making him glisten in the soft evening light.

“It’s not the only thing I didn’t do what I was supposed to do. I was born to live without you, remember?” you whisper against his wet lips as he leans over you.

“It doesn’t matter,” he hums, letting his fingers brush against the words inked on your side. “I don’t need to be told who I love.”

You’d been feeling like you were drowning for too long, drowning in the cool water of sorrows, doubts, and self-destruction for too long, but only now you can breathe -

“You love me?” you say in a quiet voice, almost as if it was a secret, and the soft look on his face makes your heart skip a beat, overflowing with love and affection.

“I do. So I ask you to stay with me,” he pleads. Not just for tonight, not for tomorrow morning, but-

“Take me home.”

Rattling keys, the sound of giggles stopped with the kisses, Mingyu’s hot mouth on your pulse point, your hands tugging at his black silk locks, and the heavy weight of the wall meets your back.

“Right in the corridor?” you hum, panting into his ear. “Where is your decency, Kim Mingyu? Not bringing your lady to the bedroom is-” Mingyu doesn’t let you finish, forcing his leg between yours. He is grinning at you with his bottom lip between his teeth as he guides your hips into motion against his thigh, satisfied with the garbled moan ripped from your throat. Bringing his lips to the side of your neck again, Mingyu plants wet kisses on the soft skin. He licks your ear, gently tugging the lobe between his teeth. When the boy releases the tender flesh, he hisses,

“This… you made me forget about my good manners,” Mingyu drawls and attaches his lips to your throat. His voice is sweet, but the material of his pants is rough and the combination drives you crazy, whimpering into the air between you, your clit aching.

“Please,” you whine, grinding yourself harder against him.

Suddenly, Mingyu smiles, brightly and happy, before his lips press into yours, his tongue mapping your mouth. The boy lifts you up and it gives you an opportunity to kiss his neck in return, biting red marks into his tanned skin. Then, ever so carefully, Mingyu places you on the soft surface of the bed, kissing you passionately, but slower, trying to find out what you like the most.

“Can I take your clothes off, please?” he whispers in your mouth and you moan, your hands gripping into his biceps.

“Good manners are back,” you coo. “Go ahead.”

Mingyu helps you to sit up, undoing the upper buttons of your summer dress, kissing the skin it exposes, and finally pulling it over your head.

“Don’t forget to take the rest off too,” you breathe, and his lips stretch into a smile. His arms twist behind your back and then he is sliding the fabric down your arms and tossing it away.

“Do you want me to touch you, princess?” Mingyu murmurs, the tip of his nose traces the side of your neck as his fingers are ghosting over the wetness of your panties.

“Like you don’t know the answer already,” you hiss and he chuckles, his hands move to palm your breasts. You bite your lower lip when he rolls your nipple between his fingers before slowly circling it, a blush slowly creeps down your neck. His mouth finally covers your nipple as his warm palms are parting your thighs, his fingers firmly pressed against the skin. Without being told, you rise your hips to help him remove your soaked panties.

Mingyu sits back on his haunches and marvel at your spread thighs and the pretty wet curves, and your legs separate to make room for him beyond your control.

“You’re so pretty,” he admires, his eyes – glassy with desire and adoration – don’t leave your face. His palm slides up from your hip over your stomach and further still, gently cupping your breast.

“Gyu,” you plea, but before you can even think about the words, Mingyu tosses his shirt somewhere behind his back, already yanked his slightly ruined with your wetness pants and the underwear to the floor.

Then, he is putting his fore and middle fingers into his mouth, coating them in saliva before slowly bringing them to your pussy, the pads of his fingers ghosting over your slit. You moan and he takes it as an invitation, drawing a circle around the hood of your clit. Craving for more, you shamelessly grind your hips into his palm, your fingers grasping at the sheets.

“Baby, I want to taste you so bad,” Mingyu purrs, thrusting his fingers into your pussy down to the knuckles. You moan at the sensation of his fingertips dragging against your pulsing walls, and he increases the pace of his digits inside of you. “You smell so good.”

His words only sending you near delirious. But his tongue feels even better.

Mingyu runs the flat of his tongue up to your clit, humming happily at the moan escaped through your red and swollen lips, your fingers tangled in his hair. His grip on your thighs is firm, screaming lust in big neon letters. He sucks on your clit, focusing his hot mouth on the swollen bundle of nerves, as he is pulling and pushing his fingers through your entrance.

The boy groans deeply, nuzzling his pretty face deeper into your core. The delightful pleasure clings to your stomach, swells at you abdomen. Your eyes screw shut and your chest heaves, the back arching off the bed with a high-pitched cry. Mingyu is leaning over your, adjusting his body on his elbows supporting him either side of your body. His breath is tickling the skin of your neck and you giggle, your hand lazily draws some patterns onto his back. The boy silently observes your features while you reach down to his cock, lubricating it with his pre-cum. Mingyu groans, but you swallow the sound with your mouth, your tongue catching on flesh of his mouth that tastes like you. He is desperately grinding against your stomach, the tip of his dick leaving a wet trail over your skin.

“I love you,” he says against your lips and, slowly and carefully, positions the reddened head to your entrance. You wrap your legs around him, heels pressing into the ample swells of his ass as Mingyu buries himself deep inside you. He presses his teeth on your collarbone as he hitting your sweet spot with every single one of his delicious thrusts.

Mingyu is here – his arms caging your face, his mouth never leaves yours, and his chest is pressed tight against yours – Mingyu is here and you love each other.

He rolls his hips against you, sinking his cock into your heat, his fingers toying with your sensitive clit. Suddenly, he speeds up, pulling an extremely loud moan from you. Feeling you clench around him, Mingyu groans and lowers himself to suck on your nipple, muffling the sounds he makes against your skin.

“Let it go,” he pants out and you oblige, a gasp tumbles from your lips as your fingers curling in his hair. Your walls spasm around his cock, enveloping it with your release. He thrusts in you, his cock twitching inside of you before he lets out a drawn moan. He stills in you as his cock milking your pussy, panting loudly. He opens his dark eyes and his face softens for you as he places a gentle kiss on the side of your jaw.

“We weren’t meant for each other,” you whisper, your hand playing with his damp locks. “But I love you more than anything.”

“We are meant for each other,” Mingyu is persistent. “Since our first meeting.”

“Okay,” you give in.

“I win,” his smile is radiant in the night, and his eyes hold the whole universe in them.

You never thought of you as a rule breaker. No one did.

With each day Mingyu helps you realize you shape the universe you live in.

And you ask him to make your nose look smaller at the portrait of you he have been painting for two weeks already.

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benedictscanvas · 4 years ago

Text

all the wrong places [6/7] - spencer reid x reader

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: It only takes a moment for Spencer to realise that he doesn’t just want to marry you someday, he wants to marry you as soon as he possibly can. But since he can’t come up with a solid plan, he turns to his BAU family for help in planning the most important day of his life so far. Is that a mistake? Most definitely.

Warnings: Series probably aren’t meant to be exclusively fluffy, but this one practically is! I need some fluff in my life, damn it! There may be some mention of regular Criminal Minds things, some language but mostly just good ol’ Spence lovin’

---

Chapter Six - Plain and Simple

He lets Rossi’s words ricochet around his mind for the rest of the day. As he packed up their stuff at the police precinct and laughed at Derek’s insistence on just how excited he was to get back to Savannah. As he pretended to be asleep on the jet with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair. As he drove the two of you home. As he listened to your breathing even out, staring at the ceiling, unable to stop his mind from racing.

Rossi was right. And annoying. And right.

He was still thinking about it when he arrived at work the next morning and Hotch called him into his office within two minutes of his arrival. He looked at you confused, but you simply shrugged, pushing him towards the office with insistence. He shut the door behind him when he entered.

“Everything alright, Hotch?”

“Sit down, Reid.”

Well, that wasn’t a yes. He sat down regardless and waited patiently for Hotch to start talking. Hotch was taking his time, walking at what felt like a snail’s pace to his chair, sitting down, getting comfortable-

“Sir? Is something wrong?”

Spencer wasn’t as patient as he wished. It was something you frequently said you found adorable, but nevertheless it was something he should perhaps think about working on in the future.

“Frankly?” Hotch said, which wasn’t the answer Spencer had been expecting, “Yes, there is something. This upcoming proposal of yours. I’m worried it’s affecting your work.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You’ve tried to propose...four times now?”

“I think it’s five…” Spencer mumbled and Hotch tried not to grimace.

“Clearly you’re getting in your head about it and worrying too much. Since this is on your mind, I wonder if you’d like me to keep you apart on cases, just for a while.”

“I really don’t think that’s-“

“It’s a suggestion, Reid, not a declaration.”

Spencer paused before he answered again. On the one hand, the ring in his satchel had become heavier and heavier as time went on. Looking at you without blurting out every single plan he had for the two of you in the future was becoming harder with each passing second. Was his ability to do his job being hindered by being around you all the time?

No. He was sure that wasn’t true. Since being with you, the both of you had only gotten better at work. You understood each other without having to try, you listened to each other’s thoughts without question, you knew how to keep your relationship professional. Hotch’s worries were unfounded.

“Sir, with all due respect, I don’t think that will be necessary. Y/N and I have always worked well together and I don’t think there’s any evidence to the contrary in recent months. Unless you see it differently?”

“No, I don’t. I was only offering the option, Reid,” Hotch looked vaguely amused, if Reid had gotten anywhere with reading the stoic face he had grown accustomed to over the years, “A personal question, but why do think you’re struggling with this so much?”

Spencer sighed. Sunk into his chair a little further.

“When I first decided to propose, I wanted it to be objectively perfect. I calculated the risks of every proposal scenario I could think of, deliberated over which combination would be worthy of becoming the moment we’d talk about for the rest of our lives. Then I just froze. Every time. I froze, Hotch.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Rossi said Y/N wouldn’t care how I did it because she’d just want to marry me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to make her cry, you know?” His eyes went wide as he realised how that sounded, “Not like that, just…”

“I know why you freeze. Because you’ve let everyone else get into your head. You’ve tried out everyone else’s ideas before your own, right?”

“...right.”

“So ignore everyone. Except Dave, maybe, since that’s the only solid advice this team has given you. Ignore everyone else and just think about Y/N. You know her better than anyone. If you think about it, about her, then you’ll know what to do.”

“But how do I-“

“Back to work, Reid, I’ve got paperwork to be getting on with.”

“But-“

“Goodbye, Reid.”

There was no room for argument, since Hotch’s eyes were already on the paper on his desk, hauling a large document in front of him and letting out a small huff as he picked up his pen. Spencer sat there immobile for a few more seconds. Waiting. Hotch did nothing to acknowledge him again.

There was nothing to do but leave.

Hotch looked up as he heard his door softly click shut. He smiled, if only a little. If bringing Spencer into the office occasionally to threaten to split the two of you up in the field gave him the push he needed to propose, he might make it a regular arrangement.

---

“What was that about?”

Spencer had made a beeline for the coffee machine as soon as he left Hotch’s office, if only to give him some time to get a story together as to why he’d been called in there. But as soon as he returned with a coffee in each hand, one of which metaphorically had your name on it, you asked him outright.

“He just wanted to check that my shoulder wasn’t still painful.”

“And it isn’t, right?”

You looked almost scary when you were being protective (though it wasn’t like he didn’t love it).

“As I’ve told you 34 times, no it isn’t,” he smiled, handing you your coffee with a small peck to the top of your head. You grimaced at the coffee, unexpectedly, but as you pulled out the two coffees from behind your own back, he grinned.

“Wanted you to have caffeine in case Hotch had been harsh,” you said, grinning yourself. Spencer chuckled a little, taking the coffee you’d made him with a hum of gratitude and walking to his desk with his two coffees. He knew that maybe he should give one of them away, but somehow he didn’t have the heart. That ring was feeling heavier again on his shoulder, and he was grateful for the relief when he shrugged off his satchel and placed it far too tenderly on the floor beside him.

With that the two of you got to work, spending most of the next half hour greeting the rest of the team as, one by one, they trudged into the office with caffeine of their own. With Hotch firmly buried in his paperwork and Rossi such a terrible influence on you all, by the time everyone was into work you had dissolved into friendly chatter rather than work.

“I swear, it’s going to happen this time. Nothing’s going to get in my way.”

“You told her that last time, Derek, and then you were away for two weeks on a serial case. You gotta stop making such big plans!” Penelope argued but Derek shook his head.

“You’ll see babygirl, this one will pan out.”

“You know, from everything I’ve heard about Savannah, I think she might prefer a quiet night in rather than some grand gesture you can’t follow through on. It’s those little moments where you make time for her that she’ll remember,” you tried, because Penelope was right and everyone in the room knew that except the one person that needed to.

“You really think so?”

“I know so, Morgan. You know, once, Spencer prepared a fort for the two of us? A whole ass fort, with the sofa cushions and sheets and every blanket he could find. It’s one of my favourite memories.”

“It is?” Spencer asked, his mind only reeling a little bit. He’d done that on impulse, thinking it might be the perfect combination of comfort and nostalgia that you needed to take your mind off a particularly bad case involving children you’d been on the week before. He’d never known you’d remembered it so much.

“Definitely. Even if it was so small we both got sore necks sitting inside for too long. It was amazing,” you were looking at him, stars in your eyes, but you quickly shook your attention back to Derek, “I’m not saying build Savannah a fort, that might be a me and Spencer thing, but you get my point.”

“I guess I do,” Derek scratched the back of his neck, at least beginning to rethink his elaborate ways of letting his girlfriend down, “Thanks, Y/L/N.”

You nodded a ‘no problem’ just as Rossi remembered where you all were and suggested everyone get back to work. Spencer sat back down, but his mind was all over the place. Hotch said if he thought about it, thought about you, then he’d just know.

Maybe the trick wasn’t just thinking about you, but actually listening to you.

---

“Stopping to get takeout on the way home was the best decision ever,” you said, halfway through a mouthful, “It’s times like these I’m glad to have such a genius boyfriend.”

“You know not every decision I make based on my status as a genius, right?”

“Yeah, whatever, eat your food, babe,” you insisted, leaning your head on his shoulder as the two of you sat on the sofa side by side. Your legs were curled up against his side, Spencer resting his other hand on your leg as he ate. There were moments of idle chatter between the two of you, but since there hadn’t been time to eat earlier in the day, you mostly concentrated on getting the food in you as quickly as humanly possible.

That was, until you decided to break the silence.

“Hm,” you began, then a good few seconds of thinking later, “Never mind.”

“You know you have to tell me what you were thinking now.”

“No, really, doesn’t matter.”

“Y/N…”

“Seriously Spence, forget it.”

“I’m physically incapable of forgetting it Y/N,” he said bluntly, “Just tell me. It won’t be as weird as you think.”

You paused.

“Okay. Just hear me out then,” you said seriously, turning in your seat so that you were facing him properly, leaning an elbow on his knee and your chin on your fist, “What if we got married?”

Ah.

Now that, that had not been what he had expected. He hardly managed to respond through the lump that had formed instantaneously in his throat, his airways closing in.

“What?”

“I’m just asking, what if we got married? I mean, I love you and I’m pretty sure you love me. There’s no one else I want to be with, ever. So...why not?” When he didn’t say anything, you continued on, though far less sure of yourself, “I know we’re not exactly traditional but it would make sense, financially, right? And maybe...it might be a little romantic?”

“A little r-romantic?” He stuttered out, face drained of all its colour. This wasn’t in the plan. This was not in the plan. He may not have had a plan, but whatever this was, it wasn’t the plan.

Your face fell.

“Sorry, this isn’t the way to propose is it? And talking about the financial benefits of marriage definitely isn’t romantic,” you frowned to yourself, no longer looking him in the eye, “And honestly, maybe marriage isn’t something you see as romantic anyway, seeing as you probably know all the history that included the woman belonging to the man and everything, so maybe you don’t even want marriage?”

The infliction in your voice on the last question, the way your pitch changed, he could tell you beginning to get really nervous. Like what you’d just said might ruin your relationship that could never be ruined. But he wasn’t even thinking straight, because you had just asked him to marry you and he didn’t even get a chance to do it first. To do it right. He blinked rapidly as he looked at his lap.

“I don’t think-“ he began, but stopped himself, “I’m not sure-“

“You know what? Please forget I said anything, I told you I didn’t want to talk about it. Pretend it never happened, please Spence,” you said, already getting up from the sofa, distancing yourself from him, picking up your plate with a half-eaten dinner and making towards the kitchen, “I think I’ll turn in for the night, I’m beat. Night Spence.”

You hardly looked at him as you passed him to go to the bedroom, but he saw the flash of unshed tears in your eyes as you scurried by. He opened his mouth to speak, but for once his ability to process the situation that had just taken place was at an all time low. Instead, he scrambled to fetch the ring from his satchel near the door, wanting nothing more than to ask you right there and then—

“Y/N, wait-“

He held up the ring box as he turned around, but the bedroom door had shut with a click.

You’d just asked him to marry you and he hadn’t said yes.

Well, fuck.

---

A/N: i’m aware this is six months late! all the apologies and i hope you enjoy this next chapter, i’ve nearly finished our beautiful fluffy finale to the story that should have finished long ago. lots of love to anyone who managed to make it this far! i wish you all a wonderful week <3

taglist if you’re still interested! (ily all regardless)

@mrs-dr-reid @soda610 @alexxcorona113 @thupidalethea @may-beforejune-afterapril @ilovesupersoldiers @hurricanejjareau @mortallythoughtfulgurl @aperrywilliams @saranyx@anotherspencerreidblog @thegayestdestielshipper @burkgolden @zozolee @sargent-barnes @halseysunset

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer x reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fluff

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justalokifanaccount · 4 years ago

Text

Episode 2-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

Ooooooh mysterious...

Oh so this variant can (at least briefly) cont people with a simple touch? No need for a scepter?

I NEED A HEROOO!

Oh this variant is taking that lady away? I wonder why

Miss Minutes is gonna move me to violence

Loki is me studying

Hahahahaha get her Loki!

Loki, leave Mobius’ magazines alone

Wow he got into the work force rather fast huh? Bit of a whiplash type scenario considering the end of episode one

No, YOU’RE a cosmic mistake! 😤 my boy looks hot regardless

Sooooo Loki is the most common variant? Why does this not surprise me?

Is... is he a football cup champion??? Omg 😂

Smart boy. Illusion projecting is different than duplication casting. Neato. LISTEN TO MY SMART BOY. RESPECT HIM.

Dude loves wheeling

Yea Loki. Work on getting to the time keepers. Overthrow the government.

Dude is smart with these questions.

Propaganda is INDEED exhausting so that’s fair

Fist hostage... maybe he’s (or she?) gonna use her as a body transfer like Loki in the comics with Sif?

Oh please let this be a genuine smart Loki moment and not just setting him up as a joke and embarrassment...

“Where there are wolf’s ears, wolf’s teeth are near.” Good to know basic mammalian anatomy is still applicable to Asgardian wolves...

Cmon Loki do something cool. Please. Please Loki. Please.

Preach my man, but please, do something cool. My anxiety that you’ll be turned into a joke is spiking.

Is he actually waiting outside or is Loki really just trying to mess with them and throw them off? Or is he just being too cocky for his own good and it’s gonna mess him up? Please please please don’t disappoint me. I have merch for this show already that I can’t return

Bargain baby, bar again. Do it.

Is he actually concerned for the time keepers orrrrrr

Dangit Mobius

Does... being reset... hurt?

Bye C-20 I guess... for now? We’ll see

Of course it’s a friggin theremin that’s playing

Mobius x Judge Renslayer? Oooooooh. Tsundere Renslayer.

Use a coaster my man

Oh her first name is Ravonna

Controversy is the best thing though

You can never understand this Loki. As soon as you begin to understand, he changes. He’s unpredictable.

“I know you have a soft spot for broken things.” Ah, so this entire fandom then?

“But Loki is an evil, lying scourge.” YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU WENCH!

“That is the part he plays in the sacred timeline.” Well you clearly haven’t been paying enough attention to the files then, hm? Here, let me redirect you to one of the many character analyses I’ve written. Now if you read here........

He doesn’t need to change. He’s already not evil

I don’t trust Renslayer or the time keepers... or Renslayer WITH the time keepers... I think she plays a bigger, antagonistic role than I thought.

You just TRY and delete him Mobius... just... TRY... I will find a way to break the fourth wall and no time keepers can keep you safe from the rage of a million fan girls. Nothing... we don’t need magic...

Omg Loki just sitting there in a chair outside the office like a kid while their parent is talking with the teacher about their “recent behavior”.

Cmon Loki, you don’t need to make excuses or impress him.

My poor boy is SOOO out of his zone.

Tbf mobius, you ASKED. You asked what makes him tick.

Hey hey hey, let’s not gaslight my boy...

The Loki is... uhhh something... gotta keep my hopes up. Trust in Tom Hiddleston...

Mobius showing his true colors...

Please Loki... be badass... not just a joke... please please please... PLEASE!

Mobius, play nice.

I hope this “superior” Loki thing, if it is a female, isn’t a desperate attempt at feminism pandering, chocking up her “superiority” to being female. Please give the characters real stories. Flesh them out.

Juice box time?

No?

More homework?

Bugger...

The sass is off the charts

Librarian lady gonna get killed

Oh boy

Pffffft—

I miss Casey.

Hey don’t ignore Loki. That’s rude.

Bell is the answer?

Poor Loki. Stop trying to fit in. You are best when you are genuinely yourself.

What’s to stop Loki from grabbing the other files?

Homework... I thought I escaped this when I graduated...

Whatcha seeing there?

Oh...

Bye bye Asgard...

Cmon... not more feels.

AGGHHHHHHHH

Please allow him confirmation of Thor’s survival and beating of Thanos!!! He needs that confirmation! He needs that reassurance.

Hear him out Mobius.

“He’s hiding in apocalypses.” Sooooo is that why they go to presumably Mount Vesuvius? I assume?

Mobius, let Loki have your salad.

Rip salad

CASEY

Casey’s juice box

Poor Casey and mobius salad...

Loki, your logic astounds me.

Well, pushing Hulk off of the bridge WOULD have an effect...

VESUVIUS HERE WE COME

He hasn’t really stabbed anyone in the back... except Thor... but not 50 times

Pompeii, here we come!

Ooooooh we gonna see Loki dance with a lady? 😏 get ittttt

Well, if you do cause a branch, can’t you just reset the timeline?

CAUSE SOME CHAOS MY LOVELY MAN

OMG IM HEARING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE SPEAK ITALIAN

I can die happy now

Loki... you look insane.

Uhhh run

Okay you’re good

Sleepy Loki

Let him sleep!

Soooo, I mean, technically, Loki’s actions would still cause the timeline to change, but said change wouldn’t have an impact on the future, just the current moment... so shouldn’t it still be detected by the TVA? At least as a little fleck?

Jet skis?

Omg I just snorted at Loki begrudgingly agreeing with Mobius that jet skis are awesome

Mobius offending my History Teachers for 50 minutes straight... that’s it. That’s the episode.

Mobius really in love with jet skis for some reason

We better get to see Mobius on a jet ski

Fighting for jet skis?

Lol mobius has a point about the magical Asgardians and Jötunns

Glorious purpose

Cmon Loki, destroy this man’s beliefs.

OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT

DO IT

TEAM UP AND THROW THE TIMELINE INTO CHAOS

How would you know what the time keepers are doing when you’ve never met them?

How can you meet in peace at the end of time with no chaos?

“You see, I know something children don’t. That no one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.”

Mobius, don’t patronize my boy. Go jet skiing.

“I know.” Oh good, that point in the trailer was edited.

No candy on Asgard? Poor Loki.

May the best man win? Well that automatically means Loki.

Getting National Treasure vibes

Love you

Alabama will still exist in 2050? That’s disappointing.

Roxxcart.

Loki is very smart. Thank you show.

Renslayer, if you claim Mobius is your friend, trust him.

Kachow!

“For all time.” “Always.” TVA is definitely a cult.

Weapon?

WEAPON!

...weapon???

no weapon...

Meanie...

Are we gonna see what this Loki variant looks like?

I have a feeling this variant is gonna be the female, blonde (I’m so sorry, at the moment I forget her name) in those pictures we saw. Guessing because 1) she was wearing a Loki outfit. 2) her and tom Hiddleston were wet in that picture as if rained on 3) the scene when they enter Roxxcart occurs when it starts to rain due to the upcoming massive storm. So I’m placing all of my money on the table the Loki variant is Lady Loki. Blonde, for some reason. (Or maybe she just didn’t have a wig on in the picture of her we saw?)

Yea please don’t prune this Loki.

Storms a brewing

Good to know Alabama, at some point, does get destroyed. That’s comforting. (Btw this is a joke. I have nothing against Alabama lol. Idk why my brain thought this was funny lol.)

All wet and rainy.

HAHAHAHA USE THAT MAGIC BABY

LET MOBIUS STICK WITH LOKI

Ooh ooh! Is Loki gonna use powers to yoink the roomba here?

Uh oh. Forgot to take into consideration that most big businesses, especially stores, have security cameras, huh?

Times ticking...

Wait was that a reset charge?

Awkward silence

Spookyyyy

Poor dude lol

Or not

Hmmm

Oh???

I RECOGNIZE THAT MAGIC!!! ITS HER!!!

HUNTER (forget her number) IS THE LOKI VARIANT!!! When was she replaced? Or was she always the variant?

That or the other Loki is projecting herself into the hunter? Maybe used the shopping dude as a conduit?

Moment of realization

Smiling contest

No no, Tom Hiddleston’s Loki is superior. I don’t care who else tries to play Loki, Tom IS Loki.

Oh no

Baby crying?

These poor people...

No need to be rough

Is Mobius genuinely caring

Oh... poor C-20

Team up please? Please?

Ah so they really can just send themself into any body they wish, huh? Just by touch?

Loki, learn that trick please.

Sooo, is the other variant Loki’s body tangible? Do they project their conscience into other bodies via touch, or do they not have a corporeal body and rely on others to exist?

Doctor Who vibes

TEAM UP PLEASE

YES

Please

Please?

Offended by Loki name?

Haha sympathy for Thor

Go randy.

Soooo what are you interested in if not ruling the TVA?

Who’s that planting charges? The real body of the other variant Loki?

You okay C-20? (Off topic her actress reminds me of the actress who played Ava Star aka Ghost in Ant-Man and the Wasp) what is real and what about it is so mind capturing for you?

Oh no

Poor girl

Cmon B-15

Hello?

Reset charge

Oh? Bye bye?

HEY!

That’s rude

I miss Randy too

Cmon Loki fight like the badass I know you are

Please

HAHA! TELEKINESIS

Cartwheel WEEEEE

Oooh he swore

Lokis have a pattern of swearing only while taking other peoples forms

Cmon Loki. Go back to mobius. Help them. Prove your goodness. Please.

Poor trucker man

Hello?

Hello!

Fave reveal?

I KNEW IT

Oh????

Flashlights?

RUN!

Is this actually a Loki variant or just sylvie? Or Amora?

Uh oh...

What’s happening

Is she absolutely destroying the timeline?

Poor Doctor Strange. I wonder if he knows about the TVA?

Loki is all alone? Why is he standing still?

Where is she going?

Cmon Loki... help them please...

Loki...

CLIFF HANGER

NOOOOO I CANT WAIT ANOTHER WEEK AGHHHHHHHH

Are they gonna be okay?

How is the variant traveling?

What is her goal?

Why is Loki going after her?

Why is Loki leaning towards the apparent evil side?

Is this actually lady Loki or sylvie or amora since her hair is blonde?

WHAT IS HAPPENING???

So much just happened in so little time. It’s like Marvel wants to slowly spoon feed us with the first 3/4 of the episode and then in the last 1/4, they waterboard us.

Why is this female Loki variant so much more powerful?

So Loki DID know what was going on at the Renaissance fair and was intentionally stalling for her... why?

Her horned helmet is similar to the one kid(?) Loki wears in the comics. One horn broken. How did that happen? Why does she still wear it, especially if she doesn’t want to be called Loki?

No end credit scene yet.

#loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #disney #loki on disney+#Loki show #Loki series #disney plus #disney+#disney+ loki #loki disney #tom hiddleston #Loki episode 2 #loki spoilers #loki reaction

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dripkingpetey · 4 years ago

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bestfriends forever-b.boeser

oh god here i am once again with a brock fic😐 i’ll be trying to do the requests that i’ve been getting over the weekend but please don’t get mad at me if i don’t end up getting to them. oh also! the flashbacks are in italics just an fyi!

brock boeser x oc!

2436 words

“Come play hockey with me Kyia!” Brock exclaimed at his bestfriend from his bedroom window over to hers, they were next door neighbours, with the windows in their respective bedrooms facing each other.

Kyia still remembers it like yesterday, Brock always asking her to play or hangout with him. Except right now, Kyia was in her car crying, she had just dropped off her bestfriend at the airport and he was heading to Vancouver. Obviously she was happy about Brock going to the NHL with the Vancouver Canucks, she didn’t want to leave him though. Brock and Kyia have been bestfriends even before they were born, with their mothers being bestfriends. They have never had to be separated before, even when Brock went to college for hockey, she ended up getting accepted into the same university.

It took awhile for Kyia to stop crying but when she did, she started driving home, thinking about all of the memories with Brock even though it was likely that she would see him in a couple of weeks. She started playing her and Brocks playlist, they had started it when Brock got his first iPod after a hockey tournament when they were 9.

“Kyia! Come over I have something to show you.” Brock waved his arms furiously to get Kyia to hurry up. “Okay, okay I’ll be over in a sec.” Kyia giggled at how excited Brock was, slipping on her shoes before making her way over to Brocks house.

“Look it’s got all of these cool songs that we can make playlists with too.” Brock exclaimed enthusiastically as he hooked the iPod up to their family computer, making a playlist title ‘Kyia and Brocks swag times’ which was quickly denied by Kyia and changed to ‘Brock and Ky’s playlist’. “You’re boring you know that right?” Brock mumbled. “Yeah but you couldn’t live without me.” Kyia grinned at Brock as they searched up all of their favourite songs to add.

Though that playlist has had many different versions for each year, they always put every song into the original playlist, making the total amount of songs over 1000.

Brock had sent a snap to Kyia almost as soon as she got home, it was almost like he knew. Kyia opened it and it was a photo of Brock smiling with a heart emoji in the text bar. It wasn't unusual for Brock and Kyia to be saying I love you and stuff to each other, they’ve always said it and it would be weird for them to stop. Kyia didn’t want Brock to see that she was crying even though he knew, she responded to him with a text that said. “I miss you so much already, how was the flight?” Knowing that Brock had already taken off and wouldn’t see the text till he landed in Vancouver.

“Did you have a fun day?” Kyia asked over FaceTime to Brock, he was in his hotel room in Vancouver, getting ready for the start of training camp. “Yeah, traveling was exhausting but I got to meet some of the guys on the team today and they’re all really nice.” Brock smiled at you, the same beaming smile that could always cheer you up whenever you felt down. “That’s good.” Kyia said, not knowing if she should really tell Brock how she was feeling. “You should go to bed, it’s getting pretty late in Minnesota.” Brock said while running his fingers through his hair, referring to the 2 hour time difference between Vancouver and Minnesota. “I guess you’re right.” She mumbled, wanting to be with her bestfriend right now. “Ky, I miss you too. We can see each other soon, if I make the roster after training camp. You can fly to Vancouver with my parents for my first game.” Brock tried to make you feel better even though he missed you even more. “I guess, goodnight I love you.” Kyia said even though she didn’t want to end the call which resulted in Brock having to hang up after he said goodnight as well.

It was hard on both Brock and Kyia, not being able to see each other almost everyday. Brock was focused on training for the upcoming season and Kyia had been busy with all of the school work she had, which all resulted in Brock and Kyia barely talking for two weeks, not to mention that the time difference made it even harder.

“I made it! I made the roster!” Brock exclaimed over the phone to Kyia which reminded her of when he made the roster for UND’s hockey team.

Brock rushed right to Kyia’s dorm room, knocking quickly as she got up to answer it and she was met by a big grin on Brocks face which quickly turned into him pulling Kyia into a tight hug. “I made the team.” Brock exclaimed, she was the first person he told after he found out. “You did it!!” Kyia was proud of him, she knew how hard he had been working for a spot there and he did it.

“You did it!” The same words came out of Kyia’s mouth as she teared up in happiness for him. “Holy fuck, you did it Brock.” There was a giant grin on Kyia’s face and she was sure Brock did too. “Yeah, I can’t believe it too.” Brock sighed along with a light chuckle. “Okay I gotta go tell my parents, do you want to FaceTime later?”

“Wait, I’m the first person you told?” Kyia had expected that Brock would tell his parents first and her after. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I tell my bestfriend first?” Brock smiled even though she couldn’t see. “Awh, I love you, go tell your parents.” Even though Kyia knew it, it was still nice to hear that Brock was her bestfriend. “I love you too, you might want to start booking the plane tickets.” Brock joked but that’s exactly what she did, Kyia rushed to her computer to look at flights after he hung up.

It was all-star break and Brock hadn’t been home in Minnesota for weeks, so he took advantage of that. Despite going back to Minnesota for Christmas, he was already missing it there, especially Kyia. “What are you up to?” Brock asked over FaceTime to her while sitting in his old truck he had in Minnesota. “Not much, just planning to sit around in bed all day.” Kyia mumbled. Brock being all the way in Vancouver was much harder than she thought it was going to be, it sucked to not see him and it was taking a toll on her mental health. “Fuck I gotta go, me and Petey are going out for lunch. Talk to you later?” Brock lied, knowing his plan was all coming together. “You know where I’ll be.” Kyia sighed while taking a sip of water. “Love you, I’ll talk to you later.” They both said at the same time.

Brock almost started giggling because that’s how excited he was to see Kyia. Her parents already knew so hey let him slide into their house, moving quietly before opening Kyia’s door to surprise her. “I’m home!” He exclaimed but quickly furrowed his eyebrows together when he saw Kyia crying, she didn’t even realize Brock was in her room till he started speaking. “Are you okay?” Brock said quietly, hugging Kyia while she was laying on her bed. “No, but I’m better now that you’re here.” She mumbled with a slight smile at Brock, she was crying about him, about how much she missed him and wish he never went to Vancouver. “I missed you.” Kyia laughed while turning around so she could give her bestfriend a proper hug. “I missed you even more Ky.” Brock chuckled as he tucked the loose strands of Kyia’s hair behind her ear.

Brock would be lying if he said that he didn’t want to kiss Kyia right in that moment, with their faces inches away, looking at Kyia’s beautiful smile, their faces getting closer and closer like two magnets. But he knew he couldn’t do it, he would chicken out.

For the next three days, Kyia seemed like she had been brought back to life. The sad, Brock missing Kyia was gone, it was like Kyia was herself again.

“She’s so much happier when she’s with you, you know? It’s been tough for her for the past couple of months.” Brocks mom, Laurie said quietly to him as they watch Kyia play with his dogs. Brock didn’t know what to do, all he could do was sigh, sigh and worry about how Kyia was going to be when he goes back to Vancouver and Kyia would be here by herself again. “Brock?” Laurie asked, trying to get his attention off of Kyia. “Yeah mom?” Brock quickly snapped out of it. “You know that she’s in love with you right? And I think you feel the same way.”

“But-” Brock tried to say something but quickly got cut off by his mother. “But we’ve been bestfriends forever.” Laurie mocked Brocks voice as he slumped down into his chair. “I know the two of you have never confessed it, you probably don’t even know that you’re in love with her. But I can see it.” Laurie said as she looked at Brock who was lost in his thoughts, staring at Kyia as he took Lauries words in. “Maybe I am.” He mumbled quietly and Laurie laughed. “I’ll leave it up to you two.” Laurie sighed, getting up and patting Brocks knee as she headed into the kitchen.

It was the night before Brock had to fly back to Vancouver and Brock and Kyia had to spend every last moment together, before he had to go back for god knows how long. “I’m gonna miss you.” Kyia mumbled and pouted, she was laying on her bed on top of Brocks chest, tracing little circles on his chest with her fingers while he played with her hair. “Me too Ky, me too.” Brock sighed, closing his eyes so he doesn’t start tearing up.

“What if you went to Vancouver with me?” Brock asked while him and Kyia were both half asleep. “Just for like a week or two.” Brock quickly added, hoping she would say yes.

“I could.” Kyia mumbled, looking up at Brock who was smiling at her. “All of my classes are online this semester anyways.” Kyia said as she watched Brocks face light up even more. “This is gonna be so fun.” Brock chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

It was a couple of days after Kyia and Brock got to Vancouver, Brock tried to show her around to get Kyia used to the surroundings. “Hey, do you mind if a couple of the guys come over for drinks later? They said that they wanted to meet you today while we were at practice.” Brock asked while looking over to see what she was doing, chuckling when he saw that she was playing with Milo and Coolie once again. “Yeah, I just gotta get ready though.” Kyia looked over to smile at Brock, she didn’t want to admit it but she was falling hard for him, those feelings have always been there but being in Vancouver with him for some reason just fuelled it.

“Ah yes, so this is the lovely Kyia we always hear about.” Jake smiled at you before introducing himself. “So you talk about me huh?” Kyia raised an eyebrow playfully and everyone watched Brocks face turn into a light shade of red. “He never stops talking about you.” A tall blonde swede who she later learned was Elias, sighed with a chuckle before getting a little punch from Brock.

“So, who wants some drinks?” Brock said quickly, trying to steer the conversation to a different topic. “You know what I want.” Kyia smiled as Brock went over to the kitchen to make her drink as well as grabbing a couple of beers for Elias and Jake.

Kyia learned a lot about what Brock was like on the ice and in Vancouver, not that he was any different than normally, it was just fun to hear the stories of him in Vancouver.

Elias and Jake had headed home, leaving a tipsy Brock and a drunk Kyia alone. “I love it here with you.” Kyia smiled as she heard those words come out of Brocks mouth. “Me too.” Kyia slurred while sitting closer to Brock, snuggling her head into his chest as he rubbed his thumb along her waist.

“I really missed seeing you everyday.” Kyia mumbled and pouted at Brock. Their faces were inches apart once again, and both Brock and Kyia were fighting the urge to just kiss each other. “Can I kiss you?” Brock asked quietly, cupping his spare hand onto Kyia’s bright red cheeks. “Yeah.” Kyia said with a smile before Brock pulled himself closer to her, kissing Kyia softly as she returned the favour. Neither of them said anything after they pulled away, they just sat there and cuddled till Brock had the guts to say something. “I love you.” Brock mumbled, expecting Kyia to be asleep. “I love you too, not as friends, more than that.” Kyia said softly as she looked up to see Brock smiling at her. “Me too.”

Brocks favourite thing to do in the off-season was going back to Minnesota and spending everyday on the lake and that’s what was happening right now.

“Hey.” Brock grinned while sitting down next to Kyia. “How many beers did you have?” Kyia sighed, quickly folding down the corner of the page she was reading and placed her book down so she could pay attention to Brock. “A couple.”

Brock leaned his face right up to Kyia’s and kissed her face over and over again before whispering some nonsense as she giggled and smelt the alcohol in his breath. “I love you too Brock.” Kyia quickly pecked his lips before he rested his head on her chest. “What if we got married?” Brock mumbled, not expecting Kyia to hear it even though he wanted her to. Kyia didn’t know what to say, she knew that Brock was the one but she didn’t know if he truly meant it or he was just drunk. “Actually?” Kyia questioned and Brock lifted his head up to look at her. “Yeah.” Brock grinned because that’s all he knew what to do. “One day,” Kyia smiled as Brock laid his head back down on his chest and she played with his blonde hair.

#brock boeser #brock boeser fic #Brock Boeser x oc #nhl canucks #vancouver canucks #canucks #fic #hockey #canucks hockey #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #nhl #brock boeser imagine

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toshisae · 5 years ago

Text

scripted ➵ lee jeno

summary: in which you and your ex star in a new movie where ironically you two are dating again, like where you two once started

genre: angst-ish to fluff

theme: actor!au + ex to lovers!au

word count: 1.7k

author’s note: hhhh yes hello i’m back, inspired by ‘heartache on the big screen’ by 5sos ++ let me know if you guys would like a part 2

italics = flashback!

“it’s not you.. it’s me” jeno runs a hand over his face. your face dropped as you put down your glass of iced tea “so everything was just nothing to you huh” you angrily stood up from the table. jeno ducked his head down, “stop, you’re making a scene” he hushed, looking around at the people in the restaurant staring at the two of you. “so that’s all you care about? fine. be like that then. we’re through!” you pushed your chair back and strutted away from jeno and the restaurant.

the following day after that night, you and jeno made it to the headlines. ‘Lee Couple Broken Up?!’ with your picture pushing past the paparazzi was in front of the newspaper and headlines.

you were an actress. a well known actress to be exact; and so was jeno. you two met during your first breakthrough movie. ironically enough your role at the time was jeno’s little sister and the news that you were dating your co star shocked the internet if you were being honest.

“you broke up with lee jeno?!” your manager slash best friend, haechan busts into your room. “oh okay” he muffles his laugh as he sees you sprawled out on the floor, angry tears running down your cheeks. “fuck off hyuck, i’m not in the mood” you sniffled, sitting up giving him a death glare. haechan quietly closes your door and sits on your bed. “wanna talk about it?” he peeks over at your lying figure. “no” you rolled over to your stomach. haechan stayed quiet knowing you were gonna break any minute now. a moment has passed and you stood up and sat next to hyuck, resting your head on his shoulder. “so..”

“well shit” was all haechan could say about your story. “you’re supposed to be cheering me up, dickhead” you slapped his chest. haechan winces and stands up from the bed. “let’s go shopping and i’m not taking no as an answer” he says before grabbing your hand and dragging your ass away from bed

–

“would you mind explaining this?” renjun, jeno’s manager walks in front of the tv and throws a newspaper article onto jeno, who was busy playing PUBG on his playstation. “i’m kinda busy here” jeno tried to look past renjun but renjun ended up unplugging the tv. “DUDE WHAT THE FUCK” jeno slams his controller down, towering over renjun just a tiny bit.

“i’m older than you, sit your ass down and show a bit of respect” renjun pokes jeno’s chest. jeno huffs and plops down on his couch, pouting. “i’m sorry hyung” he looks away from his manager. renjun sits down next to him, “so are we just gonna pretend you never dated lee y/n?” renjun looks at jeno. jeno grumbles and scratches his hair. “ugh i’m going to jaemin’s” jeno stands up, grabs a random hoodie on the floor and his car keys. “goddamn it jeno..” renjun sighs as he watched jeno walk out of their shared apartment.

–

“why would you do that tho” jaemin takes a sip out of his coffee whilst listening to jeno rant about his love life. “i don’t know! i just- maybe i got bored of our relationship? the spark died or something?!” jeno rambles on, pacing around jaemin’s living room. “i mean if i were you, i’d never let y/n go like have you seen her?” jaemin sighs dreamily, smiling to himself at the thought of you. “back off na jaemin” jeno sends a death glare towards jaemin’s direction. jaemin puts up his hands in defense. “chill dude, i’m just saying she’s pretty” jaemin smirks knowing this conversation they were having is making jeno miserable little by little.

–

“i’m so tired” you whined the moment you and hyuck entered your shared apartment. “oh so you’re tired? how about me who carried all your shit from the mall!” haechan retaliates as he struggles to put down your oh so many paper bags on the kitchen counter. “not my problem anymore señior” you laughed out loud. haechan huffs and walks over to his office.

an hour or so has passed and you hear hyuck’s office door open. “hey y/n” he calls out. “yeah?” you respond

“how about you would like to audition for a new coming of age movie?”

–

after venting everything to jaemin, jeno goes home a little late. he quietly enters the apartment. it still looked the same how he left it except there was a pink sticky note in front of the tv. ‘got you a gig. here’s the script, auditions will be tomorrow at 1 pm sharp -ronjun”

a week later

“hello?” you answered your phone. “is this y/n?” a voice speaks. you looked over at hyuck who was across the table with a confused face. “yeah it is. how may i help you?” you asked. “hi! i’m the director for the new movie, disconnected? and i’m here to tell you that you got the part! you’re the main protagonist” the voice tells you the news happily. your mouth opened in shock, “oh my god thank you so much!” you cried out loud, mouthing ‘i got the part’ to haechan. “i’ll be expecting you soon! see you” the other line hangs up. you put down your phone and ran to hyuck. “i got the part!” you hugged him

–

renjun knocks on jeno’s door. “come in” renjun walks in to see jeno playing on his phone. “what’s up?” jeno stares at renjun, putting his phone away. renjun grins, creeping jeno out. “why are you smiling like that?” jeno eyes him. renjun suddenly throws him the official script of the movie he was gonna star in. “holy shit i got the part?” jeno’s eyes widened and stared at the thick script with glee. “you bet baby!” renjun exclaims in joy, throwing his fists up in the air. “you’re the love interest of the protagonist! you’ll start on tuesday but you’ll meet the cast tomorrow” renjun informs jeno.

you walked inside the studio you were supposed to meet your new colleagues in together with haechan. you watched haechan talk to the staff members asking where are the offices that you need to go in to. “hyuck i’m gonna buy some coffee over there” you point over at the small starbucks kiosk just right by the corner of the information booth. haechan hums as he speaks with the staff member

you got in line, chanting your order in your head so you won’t embarrass yourself in front of the barista. “yeah can i get a grande iced americano and a tall caramel macchiato please?” a familiar voice speaks up in front of you. your eyes widened, staring at this strangers back. “good morning! may i take your order?” the barista chirps, cutting your train of thought. you smiled at the barista, “hi can i get a venti mocha frap and a tall vanilla bean frap please?” the barista smiles back and punches in your order. “your order will be up in 10 minutes” she hands you the receipt.

–

“nervous?” renjun asks jeno who was in the passenger seat as they both drive to the location of the studio. “a bit” jeno chuckles, throwing his head back. “why would you be? you’re a well known actor! directors would kill to get you on their movies” renjun laughs, giving jeno a glance from the rear view mirror. “i don’t know man, i just feel like something bad is gonna happen” jeno sighs, leaning against the window. renjun shrugs and carries on driving.

––

“can you buy me some coffee?” jeno requests to renjun as he finishes up writing this form. renjun nods and leaves jeno alone with the information assistant. jeno suddenly notices haechan walk past him. he tenses up and tries to divert his attention to the sheet of paper in front of him. “sir, that would be all” the clerk yanks the paper away from jeno. jeno turns into a bright shade of red and laughs awkwardly, surely catching the attention of haechan.

haechan turns to his side to see jeno smiling awkwardly while sending a small wave to his direction. “oh hey didn’t see you there” he manages to choke out. haechan gives him half assed smile before turning his attention back to the person he was talking with.

“hyuck here’s your drink- oh my god”

–

you almost dropped the cup of coffee in your hand after seeing jeno standing next to hyuck. “what’s going on here” renjun comes out of no where. “oh my god” he covers his mouth in shock.

“ah yes! the two main protagonists of my new upcoming movie!” the director walks over to the four of you. you looked at haechan and then the director. jeno does the same thing with renjun.

“main protagonists?!” you and jeno both yell at the same time

“there must be a mistake director, there’s no way he’s my love interest! it’s gotta be somebody else!” you complained. haechan flicks your forhead, “we’re in a meeting, be more professional” he hushed. the director reads the script and adjusts his glasses. “what do you mean? he’s perfect for the role! do you recommend any other male actors for his position, miss y/n?” the director faces you. you shake your head no and the director smiles, “see? i told you”

“do i get a say in this?” jeno asks loudly for everyone to hear. the director now turns to jeno with the same smile as before, “any concerns sir lee?” renjun beats him to it before jeno could say anything. “actually no. so when will the shoot start?” he whips out his handy laptop.

“ah yes, the shoot will start in about a month. it would be nice if our main protagonist here,” the director points at you, “to dyes her hair a darker shade of brown? and the love interest,” he points over at jeno, “to dye his hair a chesnut color” the director proposes. “sounds good to me. needed to get my hair done anyway” you twirled a piece of your hair. jeno seems to nod in agreement making the director happy. “okay then it’s settled! now we just gotta sign the contract” he hands the two of you a piece of paper.

not thinking much about it, you immediately signed the contract. except for the fact you were gonna star in a new movie with your ex.

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nautiscarader · 6 years ago

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Present for kitty

Ladynoir, T/M(just implications), 0.8k, (Ao3)

This is a birthday present for @noblesnook/ @noblechaton

yesterday, he wrote about his upcoming birthday on twitter, and he posted some interesting pics of presents that inspired me

Hope you enjoy it, buddy.

Looking down at the busy city below him, Adrien took a deep sigh, and continued watching the never-ending stream of cars on the massive roundabout that surrounded Arc de Triomphe, the multitude of lights almost blocking the stars above him. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear the footsteps behind him, until Ladybug was just a meter or so away from him.

- Hi, kitty.

A smile on her face vanished when she realised that her partner wasn't his usual, cocky self, and that she must have caught him in a rare moment of solitude.

- Is something wrong? - she sat next to him, dangling her legs from the edge of the elevated platform in the middle, just like he did. - No, not all! - Chat replied instantly, returning to his usual self. - I'm just enjoying the view!

He spread his arms, and then, before Ladybug could react, he grabbed her and swiftly pulled her into his laps.

- But nothing can compare to the sight of you, my lady...

Their lips met, and Ladybug closed her arms and legs on his back, tightening the intimate embrace with her boyfriend. It wasn't long before Marinette's pressure took the effect and she toppled him to his back, though that hasn't broken their long, passionate kiss.

- I know why you were sad. - she spoke, taking a much needed breath of air. - Y-You do? - his eyes widened, as Ladybug's words ended the blissful moment in the most unexpected of ways, which made a cold sweat run up his body.

She opened her yo-yo, and from the magical space inside it, she materialised a box wrapped with a ribbon.

- Happy birthday, kitty.

Ladybug handed him the present and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, which has only partially wiped out the concerned and surprised look on his face.

- You thought I'd forget, didn't you?

Truth to be told, Adrien himself has forgotten. He didn't tell Ladybug the date of his birthday, since every fashion and gossip magazine knew so much about his private life, he was a bit afraid that she might spot the correlation.

And so, he told her the other birthday he held dearest to his heart - his mother's.

- Wow, didn't think that my present will have that effect. - Ladybug once again broke his concentration, and wiped a single tear from his cheek. - Uh, sorry, Ladybug, it's just... a bit unexpected. - he replied, regaining composure. - Will you open it?

Marinette asked eagerly and crossed her legs, as if she was sitting under the Christmas tree, about to play with the toys. A sly smile appeared on Chat's face, and the very next moment, for a split of a second, his claws reflected the myriad of car lights around him, when he shredded the decorative paper.

- Careful!

Marinette gasped, even though she knew very well that Chat could be delicate with his claws when he wanted to. And indeed, while bits of paper flew to the ground, the box seemed intact. Adrien opened it, and when his eyes fell upon the familiar sight, a wide, gleeful smile appeared on his face.

- It's... it's... it's ME!

And he took out the Chat Noir plushie, stood up and presented it to the world, treating it with no less respect and honour, than if it was his son.

- I knew you'd like it. - Marinette giggled, watching as Chat, indulging in his feline nature, hugged the plushie next to his heart, letting out purr after purr. - But where did you get it? That one is just purrfect, not like the ugly ones that looked good on the cover. - Well, looks like someone is a collector. - Ladybug agreed - I commissioned it. On-line. Some, some artist did it. - she quickly added, shying away from him for a moment, though with Chat preoccupied with his toy, he hasn't noticed her flustered behaviour. - Mhm, I hope you gave that artist a tip, because the attention to details is just amazing...

She heard a faint sound of bell, and she knew that Chat found what she was looking forward to. Adrien grabbed his miniature's bell and pulled it down, revealing plushie Chat's naked torso, as well as traces of his six-pack. Ladybug once again sat next to him, and watched as he undid his smaller self, ending, with a predictable revelation. Adrien looked at his girlfriend, and saw a familiar, flirtatious gleam in her eyes.

- I gotta admit, I do wonder how much you have told that artist about us... Because one very important part of me seems to be missing. - he snickered showing that the small zipper conveniently ended just above the plushie's crotch. - I don't know, let's find out.

And with that, Ladybug grabbed his bell and pulled it down, placing kiss after kiss on his naked chest, as she unwrapped her present.

https://twitter.com/Noble_Chaton/status/1102009798311247872 this is the pic of the Chat figurine that he was talking about. The curse of ugly Funko pops and its imitators is strong enough to cross dimensions, I guess.

Also, this fic was almost E, with a proper BJ scene, but I thought it felt better when it was just left at the implications. tell me if I’m wrong and I should write a proper conclusion.

#ladynoir #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #lime

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cynicallystiles · 6 years ago

Text

Beach Sunrises: Aftertaste

Author: @cynicallystiles

Warning: MAJOR angst chapter, if you couldn’t already tell by the title. Maybe fluff? Knowing me probably cursing. Jealousy, perhaps?

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Summary: While on tour one day, Shawn sees a woman watching the sunrise by herself. Thinking that he’ll never see her again, he tries to forget as he goes on with the rest of his day. But, serendipity seems to have other ideas…

Notes: Yo, this is hella late. But, like I’ve been so busy preparing to go back to college and working but also going to see Charlie Puth and Hailee Steinfeld and that was an experience! But, this is hella long and I actually maybe like it? ONLY TWO CHAPTERS LEFT AFTER THIS FOR THE SERIES. PLEASE REBLOG OR COMMENT if you like it! I always welcome messages and asks about my work! Enjoy!

Abbreviations: y/i/h = your Instagram handle

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 9 Part 11

Words: 10,375

First P.O.V.

I clear my throat and smile shyly before taking my dishes to the sink. Liyah is right. I think I really do feel that strongly about him. I've just been really scared to admit it. It's scary that I've only known him for a year and a half, but I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with him.

I haven't had the best luck with romance in the past. And a little part of me has been paranoid that this was all some long ruse just to get me into bed. He's not like that though. I'm sure of it. I just need to stop dragging my insecurities from my past relationship into this one.

After I finish washing my dishes, I head to Shawn's room and sit down on the bed with my laptop. I've been working on something as well as the music videos for a little while. Originally I was gonna save it for his birthday or something. But, I think I should give it to him tonight.

I'm clicking away at the keys when Liyah opens the door abruptly. My shoulders jump as I pull my headphones off and look up at her. "Knock much?" I chuckle.

"Sorry," she says hurriedly. "But, we found the channel he's gonna be on. He's on in fifteen minutes! C'mon!" She waves her hand for me to follow her. I shake my head with a grin and save the file I'm working on.

I wander into the living room where they're all in their respective seats facing the TV. Manuel and Karen are in two of the comfy chairs and Liyah is sitting dead center on the couch. Upon seeing me, she scoots to her left and pats on her right for me to sit down.

I flop down next to her causing her to sink into me and we begin laughing. It's interrupted by the sound of my phone going off. I check the ID and answer with a surprised tone. "Hey!"

"Hi, y/n! Oh, it's so good to talk to you again!" Her chipper voice causes me to smile with a slight blush.

I nod even though she can't see me. "Yeah, it is! So to what do I owe the pleasure of your call, Hailee?" Next to me, I can see Liyah's eyes widen. She mouths 'Hailee Steinfeld?!' and I nod with a silent giggle.

"Well, if I recall correctly," she laughs slightly before continuing. "Someone promised to keep me updated on what she's doing for her big documentary project to get into film school!"

I groan playfully. "I'm sorry!" She giggles on the other end. "In my defense, I haven't updated you because I've been busy with Shawn's music videos. And because I don't actually have any ideas yet..." I bite my lip nervously. Before now, I didn't realize that I was so close to needing a subject for my documentary.

"Figures he's the one hogging all of your awesomeness!" I roll my eyes as she continues. "But, I'm actually glad you don't have anything yet because..." she pauses for a beat before finally speaking again. "I was thinking that you could do your documentary on me!"

"On you?? Are you serious? I don't even know what to say to that..."

Her laugh is light on the other end of the line. "Well...you could say yes! You could start right after you graduate for the start of my tour...and you'll have a full camera crew at your disposal to film and take pictures. It's a paid gig..."

"Hailee! Oh, my gosh. Paid?" I ask and she confirms. "I couldn't possibly...I'm just an amateur..."

She sighs. "Y/n, c'mon! After seeing what you did with those music videos...I didn't want anyone else to do this. You are my first choice because you're incredible! Please say yes?" She pouts.

"Wow, Hailee...I don't know...I kind of had plans for the summer..." I admit as I think about Shawn and I's agreement. He finishes his tour and I graduate. Then, we can see where it goes. "...with Shawn..."

It's quiet for a moment and I think maybe we've been disconnected. "Y/n. I know that you probably want to give things a shot with Shawn once you're both not busy...but think about this. For starters, this is your big break into film school. I can feel it. Do you really want to put it off when Shawn won't do the same?"

"Wait, what do you mean?" I question her anxiously. My heart thumps loudly in my chest.

"You seriously haven't thought about it?" She asks. At my silence, she sighs heavily and continues with a sincere tone. "I mean...you're putting off a really great job to be available for a relationship with him. And yeah...maybe he'll be available for the first couple of weeks, but something will come up. A show, a press event...an interview..."

My eyes briefly flicker to the TV where Shawn will be in a few minutes before back at my lap. "And?" I whisper sadly.

"And he will take it. Regardless of what you were in the middle of, what plans you had...he'll take it because he doesn't know how to stop working," she explains. "And I'm not saying you can't make it work...because a lot of people do. But, how are you supposed to see if it'll work while both of you are juggling your careers?"

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. "You're right. But...I still need to think about it. Talk to him too..."

"I understand. Take your time. But, I gotta know by mid-May if you're not doing it so I can find someone else..." I tell her that I'll let her know. "And y/n? Don't forget that you are just as talented as he is. You deserve a shot at your dream too."

I clear my throat. "Thanks, Hailee. I'll keep that in mind. Talk to you soon."

We hang up the phone and I turn to see Liyah staring at me expectedly. I furrow my eyebrows quizzically and she starts freaking out. "What was all that about?!"

"She wants me to direct and edit the documentary for her upcoming tour..." I say simply.

"What?! And you told her you had to think about it?? Oh my gosh, you have to do it! Maybe you could visit my school for career day and Hailee could drop by...ugh! It'd be so much cooler than Shawn showing up..." she rambles causing me to giggle.

The TV says something about Shawn and we turn toward it. "We'll discuss it later, Liyah," I promise her. She thanks me excitedly as we give our full attention to the interview beginning.

My heart flutters wildly as he sits down across from the interviewer. All of last night is replaying in my head. Liyah grabs the remote and turns the volume up as the cheering dies down. "Shawn, we're so glad you could make it on such short notice!"

"I'm happy to be here!" He chuckles as his cheeks turn pink.

She shuffles some papers then continues. "I'm just gonna jump right in. Earlier this week you dropped the videos for not one but two new songs...and they're doing quite well."

"Yeah...honestly I was a little bit worried at first. So, I'm glad that fans are liking them," he admits light-heartedly. All I can think about is what he meant by that. He said he trusted me completely with it so why would he be worried?

She says something about his worries being misplaced and plays a small clip from each. Fanning herself with her papers, she turns back to Shawn. "Well, those were some steamy scenes you had to shoot..." He nods as he swallows. "If I'm not mistaken...you had y/n, your best friend, direct and edit the videos?"

"Yes. She was phenomenal about it all. Came up with the concepts by herself, directed the whole thing, edited it together..." he lists off as the host finishes for him.

"It looks like she also starred in it! What was that like? Shooting those kinds of scenes with such a close friend...did she plan it that way?"

He shakes his head defensively. "No, nothing like that! She had hired an actress, but I was having some anxiety about it and convinced her I'd be more comfortable doing it with her."

"And that didn't...stir up any romantic feelings for each other?" The crowd begins to whistle and my cheeks flush pink as I wait for his answer. He just shakes his head. "Rumor has it you skipped the Grammys because she was sick..."

He shrugs. "Yeah...I got a little worried because it's the first time since we became friends that I'd heard her be that sick. It didn't feel right to go to the Grammys without her. But, we're just friends."

"Are you sure? Because she's obviously quite a talented and gorgeous woman. And you've included her in a lot of career-related things since you've met like your album release party, the festival tour, your music videos ...it just begs the question of why..."

He rolls his eyes a bit and I can tell he's tiring of the subject. "Yes, she's very talented and she's very beautiful. I trusted her with the videos because she's incredible at what she does and smart. As for the rest...I like having her company. Ever since the first night I met her, she's always fun to have around."

"I'm still not hearing why you two aren't a thing. You say she's smart and attractive and fun to have around. You say you were more comfortable doing the videos with her than a paid actress...it raises some suspicions, Shawn."

He sighs, barely glancing at the camera before back at the hostess. "I was comfortable doing the videos with her because of the fact that I'm not attracted to her in that way. She's a great friend to me but...not the kind of woman I want to be in a relationship with."

My features fall flat and I swallow the lump in my throat. Did he really just say that? I can feel all of his family's eyes on me. But, mine are glued to the screen as I wait for what else he says.

"And what makes you say that?" The interviewer asks as she nods contemplatively.

He shifts in his seat and pulls the features of his face into a lighthearted look. "Look, she's sweet. She really is. But, she's not exactly a relationship kind of girl. She's serious about school, and her job. But, when it comes to relationships? She's not serious about them..."

A heaviness fills my lungs and my ears feel muffled. Liyah lays a tentative hand on my shoulder while the interviewer continues. "How so?"

"She just got a lot of...baggage. Family history, past relationships, insecurities...stuff like that. I think that's part of why she isn't up for serious relationships. She's the perfect girl to have around when you want to have fun and have a good time...but she's not a long-term girl."

My mouth falls open as I choke on my breath. I feel the tears start to spill onto my cheeks and I don't know how to make them stop. Liyah is trying to comfort me as I stand up slowly and Karen tries to say something as I walk past her. But, I can't hear any of it. All I hear is a sharp ringing as if someone hit me over the head.

I enter Shawn's room and lock the door. A small whine escapes my lips and I try to choke it down. I walk around and gather my things quickly, almost as if I'm on autopilot. Looking at my laptop sitting on the bed, my features contort as I'm overcome with pain. I eject the CD that I was working on and put it in a case.

Staring at the words I had written on the cover, my grip tightens. I take a deep breath as my hand shakes in anger. How could I be so stupid? I swing my arm and the case hits a wall before hitting the floor somewhere. I gather the rest of my things after getting dressed and head to the front door.

"Y/n, sweetie. Just wait a second," Karen says in a maternal voice. "Why don't you just wait until he gets back to talk about it, yeah?"

I shake my head as I wipe tears with the sleeves of my hoodie. No, Shawn's hoodie. I had forgotten that I was wearing it. It smells like him and I hate it. But, he could be home any minute and I don't want to be here when he gets back.

"I'm pretty sure I've heard what he really thinks...so I'm just gonna go home," I warble. "Liyah, just let me know when career day is and I'll see what I can do." With a sad look at everyone, I exit the building and get in my waiting Uber to the airport.

The drive there was pretty agonizing. I couldn't keep it together for more than five seconds before falling apart. I could tell that the driver was very concerned about it. Thankfully, they kept to themselves though.

The flight was long (or at least it felt like it) and definitely weird as people kept looking at my disheveled state. As soon as I got off the plane, I turned my phone back on and all the texts from Shawn came through. I could barely keep it together while reading them.

Shawn: Hey, where'd you go?

Shawn: My parents said you went home...are you okay?

I roll my eyes at the message. My blood boiling replaces the feeling of sadness. Is he seriously gonna continue to play this game? He already got what he wanted. There's no need to pretend anymore.

Shawn: C'mon, y/n. We didn't even get to Half-Blood Prince yet...

I finally lose my resolve and tap away at my phones keys as I stand near the where I just got off. Pressing send, I head to baggage claim. I block his number to stop getting his incessant calls and texts. And I block him from all of my social media. Even my Euterpe Instagram. I'm done with this.

Me: I saw the interview, Shawn. I wish I could say that I was surprised. And I really was at first. But, deep down I knew that this was all some big put on to sleep with me. So congratulations. You got the hard to get girl. Check it off your stupid pop star fuck it list. But, stop pretending like it was all real. And this whole message is probably for nothing because you don't actually care but...you really had me going. Thinking I found someone who actually wanted me for more than that...thinking you loved me. Guess I'll just add this to all the 'baggage from past relationships.' Goodbye, Shawn.

It was definitely hard to say all that and to get rid of any contact for good. But, I'm not gonna wallow in it.

As I'm waiting for my bag to come up on the belt, a few girls come up to me, phones hugged tightly to their chest.

"Um...hi, can I help you?" I ask politely, my voice a little stuffy from crying still.

They whisper to each other urgently and excitedly before they turn back to me. The one in the middle speaks. "You're y/n, right?" I nod cautiously. They all squeal slightly before calming back down. "We love the music videos you were in!!! It's so exciting to see a realistic girl portrayed like that!"

"Thanks...it was Shawn's idea to not cover up everything with makeup..." I say quietly. Confusion settles in my mind. How could he have been so sweet and be so fake? He really went for the long-con.

They all gush excitedly. "Anyway...we were wondering if we could get some pictures with you?" My mouth parts slightly in surprise. I nod and one by one they get their pictures before leaving. I'm sure I look like I mess with my puffy eyes and red nose, but they didn't seem to care.

I grab my bags and head toward the exit. A few people wave at me as I pass by. I really did not think through what it would mean to be in two internationally viewed music videos. I think I probably just said goodbye to a lot of my privacy and alone time.

As I get outside, I see Anna waiting for me with my car. I hug her tightly before she helps me put my stuff in the trunk. Then, I hop into the driver's seat and head back to the hotel. She stays with me as I unpack and doesn't say much about me being home early. I find her silence suspicious.

"Okay...out with it," I say with a sigh as I sit down on my bed.

She swivels in my desk chair to look at me innocently. "Out with what?"

"You know what. I know you never liked Shawn and you're dying to say 'I told you so'...so say it," I purse my lips, waiting for her inevitable rant.

But, it doesn't come. "I don't want to say that. What kind of best friend would I be if I rubbed salt in the wound?" She asks sincerely. I smile sadly and stand up to give her a hug. She meets me halfway.

"I think I could use some popcorn and a Marvel marathon," I laugh as I pull back, my cheeks slightly wet from crying again.

Her eyes light up. "Yesss! But first..." she says as she pulls out her phone, "a selfie to commemorate you being home!" I hug into her, our cheeks pressed together and grinning as she snaps the photo.

"Okay, here! I'll edit it and post it to Insta while you make the popcorn," I offer as I take her phone. She smirks at me as she goes to make it and I open up her camera roll. I finish editing it and post it easily with a small caption about being glad to be home.

Anna is taking longer than I thought to make the popcorn so I scroll through her photos while I wait. I smile to myself as I see all of our selfies and videos at the karaoke club over the years. My thumb stops scrolling as something catches my eye. I hover over the video for a second before tapping on it. I turn the phone horizontally to watch it.

The video is dark but there are neon signs lighting up the scene. I turn the volume up and can hear the commotion as clear as the night it happened. The angle looks really familiar. Curiously I exit out of the video and look at the immediate pictures that follow it. Betrayal courses through me as she returns with the bowl and a couple of sodas.

"Hey, I figured you'd want something to drink with the popcorn. Because I know that you like it way too salty..." she trails off as she looks at me on the edge of my bed. "Everything okay?"

I look at her slowly before playing the video with the volume all the way up. I toss it on the bed as I pace the room. Her eyes widen in recognition as she sets the snacks down to go turn it off. "I can explain that! I saved that video from the news in case that guy tried to sue or something. As evidence that he started it..."

"Anna," I cut her off, "the video on your phone starts before what was on the news. Plus now that I look at it closely, it's clearly the vantage point you had from the stage."

She opens her mouth but nothing comes out. "I just..." she sighs. "I knew that you'd end up getting hurt..."

"So, you thought you'd send that video and the pictures of me and Shawn at the diner to the tabloids to scare me away from being with him?" I finish her thought as I cross my arms in a hostile stance.

She steps closer to me. "No! I sent those to scare him! To show him that his image could get messed up, and show you that he'd bail when it got bad for him," she explains desperately.

I chuckle and it's hollow. "Oh my god," I whisper as I shake my head in realization. "You released my name...Shawn swore he had no idea how it happened, neither of us could figure it out...you did it. That first news article didn't make either of us bail so you released my name..."

"No! I didn't...I mean I did...but I-"

"Why?" I look at her as I continue to inhale deeply.

She continues to stammer on, not being able to look me in the eye. "I-I was worried about you. He was gonna hurt you eventually and I was trying to make you get out sooner rather than later. Because he did...hurt you that is..."

"You thought you'd save me from being hurt by Shawn...by releasing my name and making me relive all the harassment and humiliation of those photos coming up? Nope, try again," I demand.

She groans frustratedly. "Fine! I was jealous that you started falling for him!! You told me that you couldn't date me because you weren't ready for a relationship-" she begins to yell.

"I never said that! I told you that I didn't see you as more than a friend! I cannot believe that you did this!" I cut her off.

She sighs before looking at me. "I know...I'm sorry. I got carried away and I just didn't want him to hurt you...honestly..."

"You didn't want him to hurt me so you did it first. And then he did it anyway. So now I'm double hurt. That's wonderful logic on your part," I say icily. She tries to apologize more. "No. Get out."

"But, y/n..."

"I will never forgive you for this. Get out...now," I say slowly. Her mouth parts as if she's struck by my words but she leaves without another argument. I sink onto the floor in front of my bed. Hugging my knees to my chest, I cry. I cry until I can't keep my eyes open and I fall asleep because I'm too exhausted to move to the bed.

Third P.O.V.

Shawn arrives home in good spirits after the interview and after schmoozing for a few more hours. He had no idea what awaited him when he walked through the door. Silence. Shawn had expected to come home to the sound of his family and y/n having conversations and moving about. Laughter. Music probably. But, instead, he was greeted by silence.

As he entered he saw no one in the living room or the kitchen so he began to make his way to the hallway. But as he passes by the other side of the couch, he saw that Aaliyah was lying on the couch with her headphones in. He nudges her foot with his hand and she looks at him.

If looks could kill, Shawn would have disintegrated where he stood. The death glare from her was not only scary but unwarranted. Or so he thought. "Where's everybody at?" He asks with a confused smile. But, she just rolls her eyes as she puts her headphones back in and turns her back to him.

He scrunches his features quizzically but shakes it off as he heads down the hallway. Knocking on the guest bedroom door, he waits a beat and then enters. His parents are just sitting around reading, either something on their phone or a book.

They look up as he enters and he immediately feels shame from the looks they give. "Okay...why does everyone keep looking at me weird?" He chuckles nervously.

Manuel looks at Karen because she has more of an opinion on the matter. Now, he likes y/n. She's a sweet girl and she didn't deserve for Shawn to talk about her like that on television. Or anywhere regardless of circumstances. But, he's an adult. Unlike Karen, he'd rather he figure out what he's done wrong on his own.

Karen sets her phone down on the nightstand and interlaces her fingers in her lap. "Sweetie, I love you...but how could you be so cruel? Especially to a girl as wonderful as y/n? " His perfect lips part in surprise but she continues. "She went home..."

His eyes widen and he bolts to his bedroom. As he looks around, he finds all of her stuff gone. He sends her text after text and she doesn't answer. He rushes back to his parents. "Why did she leave?"

"We saw the interview, honey," she says in quiet disappointment. "All of us." She stresses the word. As he stands there with his mind racing, it feels like an eternity passes. His blood runs cold when his phone vibrates in his hand.

He reaches out a hand to steady himself on the doorframe as the message displayed before him sinks his heart into his stomach. Oh, he really fucked up this time. He types a small response but it gets declined. He tries another. And another. "She blocked me..."

"Can you blame her?" Manuel finally says.

Shawn looks at his parents with fear in his eyes as tears pool in them. "No. No, no, no..." he mumbles to himself as he tries every other form of communication that he can think of. But, she's blocked him on everything possible. Even the Euterpe Instagram.

He needs to see her in person. He can fix this. He begins to leave when his phone rings with a few texts from Andrew. They say that the interview was so good that he's got a lot more lined up for the rest of the week that he's not on tour. Shawn tries to tell him that he has to go see y/n. But, it doesn't take much for Andrew to convince him to wait until after these interviews.

Shawn slumps down on the couch next to Aaliyah's feet. She immediately gets up and begins to walk toward the guest bedroom. "Liyah! C'mon, why are you ignoring me?"

"Only y/n gets to call me that," she says flatly as she crosses her arms.

Shawn's features contort in disbelief. "I'm your brother! Shouldn't I get the chance to explain myself?" He asks, his voice elevating in pitch with his distress.

"Not when you were an absolute jerk to one of the coolest people in the entire world. How could you be so stupid? I thought you loved her...why would you destroy her like that?" She scolds him.

He stays silent in shame. He did love her. He does. But, she wasn't ready to go public yet and the interviewer was not going to let it go. Y/n wasn't supposed to be watching, but that's no excuse for what he said. He just got carried away. Aaliyah takes his silence as confirmation.

"She loved you too, ya know," she says quietly.

Shawn's head whips up toward her. "How do you know?"

"Because of her reaction to you saying those things about her. And after you told me about her ex...it looks like you just used her and-" Shawn cuts her off.

"Do not compare me to the guy that did those awful things to her!" His skin crawls at the thought of being put in the same category as that guy.

She sighs. "I'm just telling you what it looks like from her perspective. You got close to her, slept with her-" he begins to protest but she looks at him pointedly. "Don't deny it, we all saw you two this morning...and then you basically told the whole world that she's only good enough to be your friend with benefits...and the pictures of her are just making rumors worse-"

"What pictures?" He questions. Aaliyah looks down and Shawn presses her. "What rumors, Aaliyah??"

She sighs and looks at the ceiling before sitting down next to him and pulling up her Twitter. Silently, she scrolls through y/n's page until the pictures come up. Y/n is at home in the airport with a few fans. They smile brightly and she tries to match them, but the happiness isn't there. She's all red-nosed and puffy-eyed. Shawn's heart crumbles when he sees his pink hoodie surrounding her.

Then, Aaliyah scrolls down in the comments so Shawn can read them. A lot of them are saying awful things. Half about y/n. Half about Shawn.

"OMG she's wearing the pink hoodie. They totally hooked up in Toronto!"

"Look at her face! You can totally tell she's upset after leaving his place..."

"LMAO did she not get the memo that #FWB shouldn't catch feels?"

"Can't believe Shawn would say those mean things about someone who's supposedly his best friend..."

"Totally unstanning! #whatajerk"

"NOT my idol anymore because of how he just treated y/n!"

Shawn turns his head, unable to read the comments as they progressively get worse. Aaliyah turns off the phone and stuffs her hands into the pocket of her hoodie.

"What do I do?" He croaks, barely audible as if his voice will break.

She shrugs as she looks at her brother. His elbows rest on his knees with his head down in his hands. "I don't think you can do anything..." she says quietly. "You really effed up good this time."

"You don't think I know that?" He mumbles into his hands. He sounds so small and broken. Aaliyah's never seen him like this. He's her big brother...he always seems strong and together.

But when she puts her hand comfortingly on his shoulder, he lifts his head up to look at her. And he isn't strong and together. His cheeks are glistening from silent tears that he tried so hard to keep in. His eyes have a hopelessness in them that is uncharacteristic of him. He feels deep down that this time she's not taking him back. No matter what he does.

"Oh...Shawn..." she whispers as she wraps her arms around his neck in comfort. Immediately he hugs her tight as his shoulders shake. She can feel the tears fall onto her shoulder but she holds him just as tight.

The following days pass slowly and Shawn can't focus during any of the interviews that Andrew set up. His answers are short and disinterested and when they bring up y/n or anything related...he changes the subject. He's not gonna make the mistake of saying too much again. Not that she'd be watching anyway. He just doesn't have the energy to try and cover up his emotional exhaustion.

When he goes back to tour, it's not any better. Sure, it wasn't as bad as when she left after he slept with Camila. He was playing the keys, and he was hitting the notes. But it was so much worse on the scale of his despair. The first time they weren't dating. He felt guilty and his shame is what made him mess up all the songs.

Now...now he feels guilt and shame and loss magnified ten times over. They had dated for half a year, but he had been in love with her for longer than that. It makes him sick to his stomach that he made her feel used in that way. So the majority of the songs at his concert were all his sad ones.

Fans could feel the realness in his voice with every word. They could hear the smallest quiver on the words that hit him hardest and the way they threatened to break with the weight of his grief. Even as he would look out into the crowd of faces that he couldn't make out, they could all see the tears glossing his eyes.

Of course, more rumors floated around that perhaps they were actually more involved than he let on. Everyone noticed how miserable they both were, but neither said a word about it.

Shawn was glad when the tour finally ended and he could mope alone in his place. It was a few weeks after the tour had ended and he was shuffling around in his kitchen, eating ice cream straight out of the carton.

He sits down at the bar and hangs his head. Then, his eyes wander around his kitchen aimlessly until they come to land on the calendar hanging on his fridge. He squints when he sees the bright green circle surrounding one of the weekdays.

Immediately he gets up and walks over to it to make out the tiny lettering. Small hearts are sprinkled all around the circle and his heart stops when finally reads it. His fingers brush over the pen strokes that were clearly made by her.

Graduation!

The Day WE Really Begin!!

Shawn's eyes widen as he double checks the date. It’s tomorrow. He can't believe he actually almost forgot about her graduation. Pulling out his phone, he heads to his bedroom and makes arrangements for his flight immediately. He hastily packs a bag and finds a nearby Uber.

It doesn't take long to get to the airport and he rushes to the terminal. Everything in him is just hoping to whatever higher power that he makes it there on time. He has to be there to show her that he does love her. Otherwise, it might be the point of no return.

First P.O.V.

Sad. Frustrated. Angry. Alone.

These are just a few of the words that I would use to describe the last month after Shawn and I split. Sad that I finally had something good and it ended without a lot of closure. Frustrated because I hate that I miss him and I miss him every time I'm reminded of him. Which is all the time. Everywhere I turn there he is: on the radio, doing an interview, popping up on my social media feeds from other people. It never ends.

Angry that I let myself be played like that and also that he still manages to take over every part of my life. I feel pathetic that one song on the radio could send me into such a state that I have to pull over my car to cry. All the fans and reporters ask about him. I've yet to give a straight answer to any of them, usually just changing the subject.

Lastly, I feel alone because I am now. Before all this, I had Shawn and Anna and Xander. I do still have Xander and all the people from work, school, the club and the diner. But, it's not the same. They were the closest people I had to family and they betrayed me. Xander is being distant because he feels like it's all his fault for pushing us so hard to get together in the first place. And so I feel alone.

All that's gonna change after graduation though. I'm lying in bed, and I can hardly sleep with all the anticipation of what's to come. I've got everything I need packed, and my outfit for the ceremony is ready to go. I guess at some point in all my going over checklists in my head, I fell asleep.

I wake up and I don't feel tired. But I don't feel particularly rested either. Every fiber inside of me is jittering with anxiety. Nonetheless, I push on and get ready to graduate. I curl my hair into soft waves that flow down my back, and I do a nude Smokey eyeshadow with a shimmery peach lipstick.

Once that's done, I put in sapphire stud earrings to match my dress. The top is a black v-neck the goes to my waist. From there it slightly flares out like a tea length dress but it goes to my mid-thigh. The main color is sapphire but there's a velvet paisley pattern covering it. I'm wearing black high heels to match.

I check over myself in my mirror one last time. My eyes fall on my necklace, the one Shawn gave me for my birthday. I haven't taken it off since I got it except to take showers. Despite everything, I can't bring myself to be without it. With a final encouraging nod to myself, I head out for the college.

The commencement is taking place on the football field where everyone has worked really hard to decorate nicely. I wait in line with everyone else, and I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who is nervous. We all quiet our excited chattering when we hear the announcement to begin the procession.

I flex my hands at my side in an effort to shake off my unneeded nerves. I've been waiting for this day ever since I stepped foot on campus. As I finally step foot onto the carpet they've rolled over the grass, my eyes can't help but wander to the stands. It's late afternoon, so the sun isn't in my eyes. I don't even know who I'm looking for.

There are so many students, which means there are a whole lot of families in the stands. I wouldn't even be able to see anyone if I tried. But, then I did. An uncontrollable smile grows on my face as I see Xander in the crowd with a sign that's cheering me on. Even though all I'm doing is walking. I can see Anna next to him and I try not to frown or let it ruin my day.

I have to turn back around to find where I'm sitting before I can find any other familiar faces. The commencement is long and for most of it, I'm just twiddling my thumbs in my lap. Finally, the walking across the stage part begins. My row stands up when it's our turn and we slowly make our way to the side of the stage.

As I'm waiting, my phone buzzes in the pocket of my dress. I maneuver my hand inside my robe to discreetly pull it out. I'm at the end of the line, so I have a little bit of time to kill. My eyes skim over the messages.

Hailee: You look absolutely gorgeous! Can't wait to see you walk across! Xoxo

My head whips up toward the stand with my brows furrowed in confusion. I can't make out anyone specific so I just text her back.

Me: Wait...are you at my graduation right now? 😱

The three little dots appear on the screen.

Hailee: Maybe...lol I couldn't resist! I'll find you afterward!❤️

I roll my eyes with a playful smile on my lips. Hailee actually came to my graduation even though she's busy preparing for her world tour. I move forward in line as I look at another message.

Nick: Should you be texting and walking in the middle of your graduation? You could definitely trip in those shoes...

Me: OMG you're here too?!?

Almost instantly, he replies.

Nick: Like I would miss it! Although no one told me the dress code...I feel like I'm both overdressed and underdressed at the same time 😅

Nick: I think I just saw a guy wearing cargo shorts with a neon shirt...

Me: Lol...it's the west coast! People dress for the weather, not the occasion. Shouldn't you know that? 😂

Nick: Don't judge me...it's rainy in Washington...we wore pants and jackets a lot. Anyway, looks like you're up next! See you after!

I put my phone back in my pocket just as my name is about to be called. With a deep breath and a nervous smile, I walk up the steps and start across the stage. I come to the middle and stop to take my diploma with one hand while shaking the dean's hand with my other. We pause for a picture and I turn out to the crowd to hold up my diploma with a beaming grin.

I can hear my small group of friends cheering loudly while everyone claps. My heart is filled with pride at my own accomplishment until it sinks. The sudden heaviness of my heart makes my smile falter and so I move my tassel to the other side of my cap while I continue off the stage. I make my way back down to my seat where we all remain standing. I know whom I've been looking for.

I've been looking for Shawn. I don't know why I would be looking for him because I'm still hurt and humiliated by what he said. But, I don't know. Some part of me was hoping he'd show up and say he's sorry and then I'd know that I actually meant something to him. It was a foolish hope. I never meant anything to him but being a challenge.

All my doubts about leaving have dissipated. I shake out of my disappointment and become excited about the future as the commencement comes to a close. The final remarks are said and we all burst into cheers as we launch our caps into the air. My heart swells and I can't believe I actually did it.

The field turns into a flurry of activity as families come down to get pictures. Instead of getting caught in the mess, I make my way around the edge of the field to the parking lot. I lean against my car as I wait for Xander to come find me. It’s not long before he’s rushing over to me, nearly knocking me over as he pulls me into a bear hug.

“Ahhhhh!! You’re finally a college graduate! How does it feel??” He giggles excitedly.

I hug him back tightly. “It feels pretty good.” I grin as we part. After a brief pause, I continue, “I saw Anna with you. Did she leave?”

“Yeah...she wanted to see you walk but she knows you don’t want to see her,” he admits.

I nod my head slowly. At least she’s respecting my boundaries. Can’t say she’s had much respect for anything else. My name is called by a happy voice and I perk up as she approaches. “Hailee! Ugh, I can’t believe you came!” I squeal as she pulls me into a warm hug.

“Of course, I came! My girl just graduated!” She giggles and her smile is radiant. I can’t help but notice that she is the literal embodiment of perfection and effortless beauty.

I return the grin, a small blush tinting my cheeks. My attention is caught by yet another person calling my name. I turn around and see Nick strolling over with his hands in his pockets. He wasn’t kidding when he said he might be overdressed.

“Ohhh, my god,” I chuckle as I bring my interlocked fingers up to my nose. “It’s eighty degrees out! Why are you wearing a blazer??”

He pulls on the lapels with finesse. “What? You don’t think I look dashing?” He teases as he finally stops in front of me.

“You look dashing in anything,” I smirk as I brush nothing in particular off of his shoulders before resting my hands there. “But, it’s a little extra for the weather. Hand it over,” I demand playfully.

He rolls his eyes but complies. “Better?” He asks with an exasperated tone. But, the smile tugging at the corner of his lips says he’s anything but tired of my antics.

“Much!” I beam up at him even though I’m wearing tall heels. “C’mere, you,” I request as I hold my arms open.

He cracks a smile and it’s a smile that fills me up with butterflies and warmth. As he pulls me into him by my waist he buries his nose into my hair. “It’s been too long. I actually kind of missed you,” he mumbles below where anyone else can hear.

“Gee, thanks,” I scoff before we break apart. After a small lingering glance, I clap my hands together. “So...Xander are we gonna go to the party you planned or...?”

He throws his hands up in defeat. “I swear. Why I bother trying to surprise you with anything is beyond me!” We all burst into laughter at his statement. He sighs, “Well, let’s get going!”

Hailee and Nick ride with me back to the hotel, while Xander drives his own car. Once there, we head the smallest of our three ballrooms. As we walk in we see decorations and people already milling about. Immediately, I shed my gown into a seat and head to the dance floor.

We all dance through the night, having way too much fun. Xander got a cake for me which turned out to taste fantastic. Somehow, Nick and I managed to start an icing war. As of right now, I’m the winner because I have no icing on me yet. I think I’ve lost him in the crowd when I stop to talk to Hailee.

“So...got everything packed and ready to go for tomorrow?” She inquires as she licks some icing off of her fork.

I try to catch my breath as I respond. “Yes, ma’am. I’m ready to catch a flight with you in the morning to the start of your tour. And from there...the world!” I say dramatically which causes her to giggle.

“I’m really glad you decided to do the documentary. I know we’re gonna have so much fun!” She gushes happily.

I open my mouth to respond, but the words are cut off by icing being wiped over my mouth messily. “Eek!” I squeal in surprises before swallowing the buttercream frosting that got on my tongue. Nick pops his head over my shoulder to see the damage.

“Yes! We’re tied now,” he announces proudly.

I smirk despite my frustration at getting caught. “Is that so?” He nods confidently as he fully comes to stand beside Hailee and I. “Well, we’ll just have to see about that...”

“Bring it on...” he challenges as he bobs his head side to side in a sassy manner.

I cross my arms. “When you least expect it, Robinson. When you least expect it,” I whisper playfully.

“So, what are your big plans for being a college graduate?” He asks interestedly.

I grab a napkin and begin dabbing at the icing on my lips in between speaking. “I’m directing and editing Hailee’s world tour documentary,” I say simply.

“Aw, bummer...I was hoping to spend time with you now that you have a little free time,” he admits shyly.

I tilt my head to the side as I stick out my bottom lip in a cute pouty manner. “Me too. Whatever will I do without you telling me obscure eighth-grader myths?” He puts a hand over his heart as if he’s been shot and I giggle.

“You could come with us if you want to,” Hailee suggests. At my surprised look she continues, “I mean that is it you're not too busy to travel the world with the single-most incredible woman on the planet.”

He nods his head approvingly. “Alright, I’m game,” he agrees. My eyes widen.

“Y-you are?” I ask timidly.

He shrugs his shoulders. “I mean why not? It’ll be fun, right?”

“Oh! Totally,” I agree nervously. “I should go to the bathroom to get the rest of this off,” I say as I gesture to the icing on my cheek. After excusing myself, I head out the main doors and down the hallway to a bathroom.

Before I get very far, there’s a hand on my shoulder turning me around. “Is everything okay? You looked kind of sick...” Nick asks with concerned etched in every syllable.

“Yeah! I’m great, I just don’t want the frosting to stain my skin,” I lie.

Apparently, he can sense it. “Look, if this is about Hailee inviting me on the tour...I don’t have to-“

“It’s not that,” I interrupt him as I look anywhere but his gorgeous eyes.

He steps closer, towering over me since I took off my heels to dance. “Then, what is it?” He places a gentle hand on my arm, his warm fingers barely sinking into my icy skin.

I sigh shakily. “I know we flirt a lot, and I like spending time with you. But I don’t want to lead you on or anything, so I’m gonna be honest...” I say hesitantly. When I glance at him and he says nothing, I continue. “Shawn and I...we were together...for several months and it was really serious...”

“But...” he connects some dots and urges me on.

One corner of my mouth pulls up into a sad half-smile. “But, we broke up...pretty recently. And it’s all still fresh in my mind so I don’t think I should be starting anything else serious for a little while,” I admit as my heart beats rapidly.

“Okay,” he says simply. I look up at him and see the small smile on his lips and the understanding in his inviting eyes.

I shake my head. “Actually...doing anything with you would be wrong because I’d just be using you as a distraction...” I say softly.

“Then...” he begins slowly as his hand traces down my arm to grasp mine. “...use me. If it helps you heal, then use me, y/n. I don’t mind...”

My eyes flick from his eyes to his plush lips. I stretch my neck and stand on my toes as my lips gravitate toward his. He cranes his neck down as his hands grip my waist firmly. The distance is swiftly closed as my fingers comb softly tangle in his hair to pull him closer. His lips are soft, yet firm and our breath is mixing in the air around us.

All I can feel right now is warm. After weeks of feeling an icy chill in the pit of my stomach, my heart is filled with a tiny ray of sunshine and the electricity is keeping me alive.

Third P.O.V.

Shawn’s been sitting in the airport for almost eight hours and the fricking sun has already risen outside. He arrived at the airport last night to find out that his plane had been delayed because of a huge storm happening in the middle of the route his plane needed to take.

His leg shakes incessantly as he waits for the overhead PA to announce some change in news. He could miss her graduation if it doesn’t leave soon. Shawn keeps running his hand through his hair anxiously. A few fans come up for pictures and he puts on a good smile for them.

But on the inside, he’s wrecked. Something deep in the pit of his stomach is telling him that he needs to be there. Like, this instant. He’s never had a feeling like that before, but he knows it’s about y/n. With nothing better to do, he checks his Instagram.

As he’s scrolling through the feed, he sees a picture he wasn’t expecting. It’s from y/n’s page. The picture is an artfully taken one. She’s standing in front of a hanging mirror and her cap and gown are hanging next to it. She holds her phone in front of her face to take the picture. The caption reads:

Graduation day is finally here! Another chapter in my life has been written, and tomorrow marks the day that I start a new adventurous one!

The hell is that supposed to mean? “A new adventurous one.” Shawn doesn’t know for sure but it unsettles him. And when did she even unblock him? He immediately gets up and goes over to an attendant.

“Excuse me? Do you know when my flight is gonna leave? It’s been delayed all night...” he explains as he hands her his ticket.

She reads over it and looks up at him. “I’m sorry sir, this flight has been canceled. All passengers are supposed to report to the ticket desk for a new flight,” she informs him professionally.

“Are you serious? How long ago was that announcement made??” He’s been listening to the PA nonstop for news like this. He wouldn’t have missed it.

She thinks for a minute. “I believe it was announced a little over three hours ago...” she says hesitantly.

Shawn groans frustratedly as he picks up his bag and rushes over to the ticket desk. He did miss the fucking announcement because he was too busy chatting with fans. Once again, his nonstop career is messing with his relationship. He arrives at the desk and waits in line for about another hour.

When it’s finally his turn, he steps up and lays his ticket on the desk heavily. “I’m still trying to go to this same place and I need to get there by like...four o’clock Pacific time,” he explains as he catches his breath.

“I’m sorry, sir. But you’ll have to take a flight that has a layover in a different city and then take a flight from there. It will not get you there by that time, unfortunately,” he says.

He breathes in before releasing it angrily. “Fine, whatever. Just get me on the next plane that does whatever you just said, please,” he demands as nicely as possible. The man gets to work typing and Shawn has to pay a pretty penny for a flight that leaves in fifteen minutes.

It’s a nonstop rush as he goes through security and boards the plane. Then, he’s forced to anxiously wait as everyone else boards and the plane takes off. After a few hours, he lands in the layover city and goes through the same process to get on the second plane. Outside his window, he can see the sky has gotten dark.

It’s another few hours before he touches down in y/n’s city and it takes him another one to catch a cab from the airport to her graduation. As he arrives, his heart sinks into his stomach at the empty parking lot. The commencement has long since been over and so he tells the driver to go to the Sunset Hotel.

They made a stop along the way so he could get her a bouquet of her favorite flowers. The cab arrives just as another cab is leaving and Shawn tips generously before heading inside. It’s the late hours of the night or early hours of the morning depending on whoever is looking at it. He’s sure he looks disheveled and like a mess, after all the hoop-jumping he had to do to even get there, but it’ll be worth it.

He enters the lobby and nervously steps up to the concierge desk where Xander is examining a book on his desk. Shawn clears his throat and he looks up. His eyebrows shoot up in quiet surprise as his eyes flick to the entrance.

“What are you doing here?” He asks guardedly.

Shawn sighs chest heavy with guilt and sadness. “I tried to make it for her graduation...my flight got delayed and then canceled and I had to get a new one...it was a whole big thing and I just want to see her for a minute,” he begs softly.

“No,” Xander says sternly but not meanly.

Shawn’s brows quirk in surprise and confusion. “What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean I’ve done nothing but help you two get together and you broke her heart...I’m not helping you anymore. I won’t be the reason she gets hurt again,” he explains defensively.

Shawn scoffs as he looks at the ceiling. “You know, eventually everyone is gonna have to stop putting all the blame on me! Did she not tell you that she’s the one that didn’t want to tell people? What other choice did-“

“She didn’t care anymore,” Xander cuts him off gently. Despite being mad, he’s more upset by the fact that these two seem to be stars barely passing each other in the night.

His breath catches in his throat and he swallows. “W-what?”

“She didn’t care about people finding out at that point...because she was sure that she loved you and it was real,” he explains. “Until it wasn’t.” He shrugs.

Shawn lays the flowers on the desk and drops his bag. “She...loved me?” He nods. “But, I did too! I do! Love her, that is...I just never got a chance to tell her...”

“And now you won’t get another one,” Xander sighs, almost to himself.

He whirls his attention back to Xander. “What’s that supposed to mean?” His heart is pumping blood loudly in his ears and he knows that this is the feeling he had.

“She’s not here...”

“Then, where is she??” He asks his voice threatening to crack front the weight of the news.

Xander avoids looking directly at him. “She’s doing the documentary on Hailee’s tour...they just left for the airport,” he confesses.

His blood runs cold and all the color drains from his face. The cab. She was in the cab that was pulling away as he was pulling up. How could he have been so close and yet so far away from her? He could go after her...or he could let her start her new chapter without him.

“I don’t think going after her is going to change anything. She needs this. She needs to recover a lot more before you reopen wounds,” Xander advises.

Shawn nods in agreement. He hopes that recovery is all she needs. And then he can get her back. He also hopes that letting her go without trying to explain himself isn’t the biggest mistake he’s ever made in his life. After saying all those things in the first place, of course.

But of course, over the next few months, it proves to be. He continues on with his life, almost getting back to normal. Save for the hole in his heart that absolutely nothing can fill no matter how hard he tries. He tried his best to ignore all the things he was seeing about her. He really was.

Although, that was hard to do when she unblocked him so she’s all over his feed when she posts. And she’s all over Hailee’s feed. It was the little things he was noticing that were eating away at him.

First, it was the haircut. Her wavy hair that once went to her mid to lower back now only went just below her collarbones. A boomerang of her running her hands through it is how he first saw it. It’s beautiful, of course. But, it’s like she’s trying to shed her past. And it’s like the new haircut brought a new personality.

Everything he was seeing was her having the time of her life. She was wearing makeup more, and she was wearing more revealing clothes. He wondered what changed that she was no longer insecure about her body or the imperfections on it. All summer he wondered why she didn’t seem broken anymore.

Then one day in an interview, he no longer had to wonder. The subject of her came up like it always does. But instead of the questions being centered on their relationship, they centered on Shawn’s opinion of the new her. He tries to steer the topic away but it’s just not working.

When he refuses to answer the questions about her doing Hailee’s documentary...they show him photos. The photos are a mixture of paparazzi ones and ones from her personal Instagram as she’s made her Euterpe one for sneak peeks of her work. Shawn can’t even speak because he feels like he can’t breathe.

He returns home and immediately lies on his bad and opens his phone. He goes to her personal IG and sure enough, the photos have been there the whole time. The answer to her complete one-eighty of a personality was right in front of him.

Tons of pictures and videos of her...and Nick. How did Shawn not know that Nick had gone on the tour with them? All of the photos are cutesy and they’re always kissing each other on the cheek. The videos are of them being flirty and playful and having the best time at Hailee’s concerts.

Shawn can almost chalk it up to them being just really good and really close friends. But the paparazzi photos are of them walking hand in hand to random places in everyday clothes. There are also pictures of them kissing each other like a couple would in fancy date outfits.

He wants to deny it. Wants to tell himself that she’s just healing and she needs a rebound to do that. But when he looks at the captions under a particular picture that’s on both her and Nick’s page, it feels like the wind is knocked out of him.

It’s a simple picture. An innocent one at that. It was posted on the Fourth of July, just a couple of weeks ago. Nick’s arms are wrapped around her waist from behind and he leans around to kiss her on the cheek but he’s grinning too much for it to actually be a kiss. She’s laughing wildly and Shawn’s has never seen her happier. Above them, an array of colorful fireworks are captured mid-burst and it creates the most beautiful picture.

@therealnickrobinson Sparks fly when I’m with you. (I know you love my puns!) Can’t wait for us to share many more fireworks💖 @y/i/h

@y/i/h “Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.” And you make my heart bloom like these fireworks...can’t wait for more💞@therealnickrobinson

Tag List: @imagine-that-100

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arazialotis · 8 years ago

Text

Pinch of Nutmeg - Part 4

Pairing: Jensen × Reader

Word Count: 2900

Summary: The reader is a young and upcoming chef who takes up an opportunity in Vancouver where she by chance befriends Jensen. After several years apart and seeing each other at a convention. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Obviously I intend no hate or ill wishes to him or his family. This is purely just for writing and wasting my time.

Again, this is purely for a hobby and my enjoyment. Maybe some of you will enjoy it too. I am by no means a writer so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or grammatical/spelling errors.

Special thanks and shout out to @misguidedconqueress for reviewing, editing, suggestions, and as always putting up with me.

-----

Scott was anxious to get back to Vancouver. He had been on a tour of the restaurants in the States and had been busy with a few TV promotions. He arrived early to check on the kitchen and dining room. It was rumored that this site may soon be privileged with a visit by a Michelin star inspector. Although, he didn't want to overthink it, everything had to be in exactly the right place. He was expecting to start this morning by working on a seasonal menu in order to give the restaurant that extra notch it needed.

He was walking through the dining room when something across the street caught his attention. An old competitor's restaurant was being gutted out. “What is that?!” He yelled at his staff. “Why was I not informed?!” He demanded.

He became more furious when no one answered him. He ran his fingers through his wavy red hair. There was so much work he had to catch up on if he would even be considered for a star but a new competitor could jeopardize the entire process. He threw down his apron and headed out across the street to get a better look.

Although he had seen workers going in and out with materials, the windows themselves were lined with butcher's paper so the public could not view inside. On one of the parchments was scrawled ‘The Spotted Zebra - Microbrewery and Eatery - Coming Soon.’ He scoffed at the name. On top of a new menu and a barely functional staff this was the last thing he needed.

He pulled at the door which was unlocked and walked in. Wood floor was being laid down, and a bar spanning the east wall with cabinets made from French doors. The workers seemed occupied and he walked through unnoticed. He continued to make his way to the back discovering part of an open kitchen and another portion hidden in the back. Although most was up and running, some appliances were being replaced and updated.

“No shit,” He said when he saw you working with another chef, writing down a recipe. You turned around and smiled. “Was it always your plan to stab me in the back?” He joked, relieved it was you.

“Scott!” You yelled ecstatic. “Took you long enough to find out, are you losing your edge?” You teased back.

“I should have had you sign a contract about becoming competition.” He said joyfully with a little bit of seriousness.

“Oh no, no, no. We are going to help each other.” He raised an eyebrow waiting to hear your scheme. “You see once customers realize your entrees that could fit on a spoon won't fill them up, they'll waltz on over here for some real food and wash away the guilt of spending too much money at your place with a beer.”

“That seems more parasitic than mutual.” Scott commented.

“But it's not! Because those who start out here will have lowered their inhibitions and I'll send ‘em your way to empty their wallets.” You played.

“When I said you'd come back to work for me, this is not what I had in mind.” He confessed.

“You gotta let me take flight, Chef… speaking of flights, come here.” you said leading him into the building where you had also purchased the first floor for the brewery.

You led him through the maze of fermentors and kettles. “I think I want to turn this wall to glass so customers can see the process.” You described.

You led him to a testing station. “We have a sour and a saison ready to go.” You said pouring them out into a couple small glasses.

“No bias in that decision, presumably?” He asked knowing they had always been your favorites.

“Of course not.” You smirked before sipping on the sour.

Scott's brow furrowed as he caught a glimpse of Jensen walking down the sidewalk and into the other part of the building. “What's he doing here?” He asked with a sense of urgency and protectiveness in his voice.

You had avoided telling Scott that you and Jay were together, afraid of how he would react. “We flew the yeast in from Belgium, it gives a unique flavor throughout all the brews. Can you pick out what we used to flavor the sour?” You tried to divert the conversation.

“He has done nothing but break your heart time and time again.” Scott lectured.

“Just be nice okay?” You pleaded quietly seeing Jensen walk into the brewery. You poured a tasting glass for Jay too.

“Coste.” “Ackles.” They both greeted each other coldly as they shook hands in what you could only assume was a contest for dominance.

Jensen came to you and planted a kiss on your lips without saying a word. Out of respect for Scott, you tried to sneak out of it by handed Jay a beer. “Here.” You took another big sip of yours.

Scott set his untouched beer down. “I have a busy week coming up, I'll try to catch up with you later.”

“Scott, “ You called after him, but he didn't turn around. You sighed in frustration.

“What was he doing here?” Jensen asked you.

You rolled your eyes at the antics of both these men, so similar. “We discussed this when we picked the location, he is nothing but a mentor and a friend.” You reminded Jensen, leaving out the ‘best’ that should have gone in front of friend.

“I don't know if he thinks the same of you.” Jensen argued, full of jealousy.

“He only has my best interest in mind. If you stopped acting like a jerk around him, maybe he would loosen up.” You suggested.

“You think I'm being a jerk?” He asked slightly offended.

“To him… yeah.” You confessed, to which Jay tensed further. “Listen, this is not some love triangle. You and only you have my heart. But Scott is family, I don't want to have to give that up.”

You glanced back out the window as the first few snowflakes of a new winter storm started to fall. “Can I show you the progress or are you still going to have a sour attitude?’

“Hey, sour beer, sour me.” Jensen finally started to lighten up.

“Then try the saison.” You directed switching his cups.

“Huh.. nutty…” He commented after taking a sip. “So we are on schedule?” He asked following you back into the kitchen.

“Yes, construction should be finished by the end of the week. I’m just putting the final touches down on the menu along with rotating weekly specials. As for the beer the rest of the batches should be finished in another two weeks.” You explained to him.

Not only were you and Jensen dating now, you were also business partners. Jensen technically owned the restaurant as you could never afford such a location. He hired you on as the head chef, and for now you filled the managerial role until a fitting applicant came along. Yes, in the back of your mind you knew this could extremely complicate already complicated things such as your boyfriend paying your salary, your future if the relationship went south, and disagreements about business strategies. You were probably just overthinking it at this point.

“And the beers are the ones we sampled earlier this month?” Jensen questioned for clarification snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Yes, just in much bigger batches. Here try this.” You handed him a slice of cheesecake with orange blossoms and coriander. “It should pair well with the nuttiness of the saison.”

“God.” He said, mouth practically still full and already shoveling in another bite. “My trainer is going notice if I keep coming around here. I’ll never hear the end of it.” He said, taking another bite.

You couldn’t help but feel some pride. “Guess that means I’m doing my job.”

“Okay, what else do you got?” Jay asked.

“Hmm… tonight… I think I finalized the recipe for what I am going to call a curry.” You handed him a spoon. “It’s vegan to make our restaurant more VC friendly. Black eyed peas, potatoes, coconut milk, various spices.” You watched his reaction.

“It’s got a kick to it.” He said, immediately picking up on the berbere.

“Too much?” You asked.

“Perfect for the winter menu, warms you to the bones.” He responded.

“Okay, let’s see.. Oh of course, veggie samosas with a cucumber sauce.” You gave him a small bite. “Which will go perfectly with the lamb. And I don’t have any right now, but we will have risotto and poutine which will be daily selections based on what needs to be used up in the kitchen.”

Jensen kissed you on the cheek. “Everything is perfect.”

“Other than food, I do have a few interviews lined up for a managerial position tonight if you want to sit in on them?” You offered.

“I trust you, you know this better than me.” He assured.

“I also need to finalize my recipes with my sous, I’ll see you at home?” You asked, unsure if he would be at the apartment or if he had an early morning on set - making the trailer a much more convenient option.

“Always back to business with you. I’ll be at home, please make it home before 3:00 am tonight.” He urged.

“I’ll try.” You smiled and kissed him. “But no promises.”

“If it becomes consistent, I may just end up sleeping here.” He threatened lightheartedly.

“I’ll get a cot for my office.” You playfully challenged back.

When Jensen finally left, you couldn’t help but sigh in relief, feeling at peace again. Yes, you loved both of them to death, in different ways, and enjoyed your time with them individually. But balancing both relationships was exhausting - especially when they collided. You gulped down the rest of Jensen’s beer that he had left on the counter hoping it would help distract your mind from them.

The next two weeks flew by in a blur. You did secure a manager with extensive experience, which had thankfully relieved a load of off you. Opening day you were the first to arrive to the restaurant. The 12-plus hour days had been taking a toll, but you knew opening weeks could make or break the entire business. You and the staff had prepared most everything last night, but you wanted to inspect every last detail.

As you were folding more napkins, a task that always need to be done, your phone buzzed.

“Hello?” You answered.

“Hey gorgeous,” Jensen greeted you. “Did you sleep in like I suggested?”

“Mmhmm.” You lied.

“You are already at the restaurant, aren’t you?” Jensen called you out.

“Yup.” You answered briefly, still focused on folding napkins.

He sighed a little before suggesting, “Would you want me to tweet something about opening day?”

You put down the napkins, thinking about it for a moment. “Only if less than 5 people show up.”

“I’ll wait for your word then. I am positive it will go great.” He encouraged. “I’ll bring Jare and Misha down tonight too, after we finished for the day. “

“Don’t expect any special treatment though.” You laughed.

“I know better than to expect that from you.” He joked. “But seriously, good luck tonight. I love you.”

“Love you too.” You ended before hanging up and immediately diving back into work.

Staff started trickling in throughout the day to help clean, polish, review the menu and pairings, dice, simmer, and anything else that was needed. A few minutes before the time was here, you and the staff had a celebratory moment tearing off the butcher’s paper from the windows. There were a few people waiting outside in line - not a remarkable number by any means - but still a small victory.

“Okay, I just want to be a sap before we open those doors.” You started with the staff gathered around. “We’ve all worked really hard to get where we are right now. Over the weeks, I’ve selected each one of you by hand and have gotten to know you as family. I am fully confident in the success of this restaurant because I am fully confident in the abilities of everyone of you. Tonight will be business as usual, we’ve had our practice runs and worked out the kinks. Mistakes may happen but that is how we learn. Nothing will be different in tonight's service than from the training we’ve had together. However, if we make it through alive, let’s break open the bottles with a little celebration after we close shop for the first time.” You toasted your staff before signaling to the manager to open the door.

The first few hours were busy but you had open tables. It wasn’t until after five that the lobby started filling up at which point you encouraged your wait staff to pursue a faster turnover rate. By 7 o’clock, there was a line out the door. You made the decision to offer those waiting in the cold, coffee or a sample of soup. Throughout the night you jumped between the open front and hidden back of the kitchen, making sure recipes were being properly executed, helping out if someone was behind, and plating. You were in the middle of carving a rack of lamb when Jensen caught your attention from across the dining area. He had been intently watching you the entire time. Jared and Misha were with him chatting over drinks and entrees.

‘Is it good?’ You silently mouthed to him with a thumbs up.

He signed okay with his hand mouthing back. ‘Perfect’.

Part of you knew he was just saying that to ease your mind but it really did help make you feel better. You quickly went back to work as orders kept piling in. And there was no rest until you closed the kitchen even though the bar would be open for a few more hours as groups finished up their drinks and appetizers. It gave you and your staff time to clean up and get prepped again for tomorrow.

Finally, when the last guest left and the restaurant was scrubbed clean, you celebrated with your staff, having ordered in a few boxes of champagne. You had invited Scott to join you for the after party but lost hope when he didn’t show up an hour after the lights at his restaurant went out.

Eventually your staff trickled out and only you remained. You went through the pantry, the fridge, and the freezer counting up inventory to put a list together of what supplies you’d have to pick up from the market tomorrow. You also wanted to get a head start tracking orders to gauge the popularity of dishes. You were working on a spreadsheet when Jensen came into your office around 3 am. You were hardly shocked, so many people had been in and out the last couple of weeks it felt normal.

“Hey, am I ever going to see you again?” He softly joked.

You shut your laptop and looked up at him with tired eyes. “When we are old and retired, I suppose.” You joked back with a weary smile.

“You know, we could find someone else to take your role, freeing up time, giving you more managerial responsibilities.” Jensen suggested.

You thought about it for a minute but didn’t agree. “Jay, this is my one shot to see if I have what it takes to be up there with the big players.” You could tell he was still unconvinced. “Just give it a few more weeks. The crowds will settle down, staff will learn the flow and take up more tasks.”

“But where does it end? You make it here, so you have to try out New York, and then host a show on Food Network.” He hypothetically made up.

“I would never ask you to give up your ambitions for me.” You defended with a furrowed brow.

“You’re right. I know.” Jensen admitted. “It’s just I’m tired, and it’s late and I miss you.”

He walked around the desk and started rubbing your shoulders. He eyed the nape of your neck and bent down to softly kiss it sending shivers down your spine.

“Jensen?” You asked, embarrassed. He responded by rubbing his hands up your neck and down over your collarbone. He kissed you again, behind your ear. “Seriously, I’m sweaty and sticky, and probably covered in food.” You giggled.

“Then it’s a good thing I like your cooking.” He flirted slowly starting to unbutton your chef's jacket.

His continued advances and deep voice made him impossible to resist. You calmly set the laptop into the drawer. “Only if I can clear the desk in one swipe.” You stated giving him an ultimatum.

“It’s your office…” He reminded you waiting for your answer.

A sly smile crossed your face as you used both arms to clear the desk of folders and paperwork hardly caring of the mess you would be required to clean up. You laughed as you jumped around to face him. He closed the gap between you causing you to slide onto the empty desk. His waist locked you against the hardwood as he continued to kiss your neck and finished unbuttoning the jacket. You laid down on the desk exhausted but equally excited for what was to come. Jensen followed you down, deeply kissing your lips.

------

Forever Tags: @nanie5 @sea040561 @crushing83 @mogaruke @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @ginamsmith

Pinch of Nutmeg Tags: @doctorholmes221bbakerstreet @procratsinator

Jensen X Redaer Tags: @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @jensen-gal @be-amaziing @mizzzpink @akshi8278 @beatlesobsessionlove @tiffanycaruso

#jensen ackles #jensen x reader #jensen x you #spn #spnfandom #spn fanfic #supernatural

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fuckyeslilkim · 8 years ago

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BillBoard: Lil' Kim Sets the Record Straight on Remy Ma & Nicki Minaj Beef As She Readies Fifth Studio Album

Last November, Lil’ Kim's solo debut album Hard Core -- which saw the rapper born Kimberly Jones exiting her teens -- turned 20 years old. A lot has changed since then. She has a child of her own, a two-year-old daughter named Royal Reign who is running and talking during her mother's candid interview with Billboard.

This is Lil’ Kim’s new era. Gone are the days of her single-breast-revealing 1999 MTV VMAs outfit, elaborate multi-colored wigs and consistent bars about male inadequacy. There are hints of that still, but to reduce Kim to her former self would be placing her right back in the box she’s been attempting to break out of since the ‘90s.

It’s tough for her fanbase to accept, especially when a new beef surfaces involving one of her enemies, Nicki Minaj. Rumors have circulated that Kim will be partaking in a follow-up diss to Nicki Minaj alongside Remy Ma. Rumors have also suggested Lil' Kim still cares about her feud with Nicki. In this revealing interview, Kim sets the record straight, while giving some new details on her emerging fashion line, upcoming fifth studio album, and the need to grow for both herself and her loyal fans.

First off, congratulations on your own clothing line. As an artist who has been a part of fashion for 20 years, what took you so long?

It’s always been an interest, but you got to understand I came in the industry as a little baby. I was a baby. I was 16 or 17 when I made my first hit record. At that age, you’re not really thinking about [making a fashion line]. Timing is everything. At this point, it’s like I’m really trying to just bloom and blossom as an artist in certain instances, because there was a lot of current events that happened in my life. I’m a very spiritual person. I believe in God so God’s timing is the right timing, period. Enough said.

What is the clothing line called?

I don’t want to get into it, but I’ve always had the name 24/7 Star. That was the first part of my line. When I had my shoe line with Petite Paton, it was called Hollyhood, but we changed it to 24/7 Star. We’ve got different lines inside of the lines that we’re working on, and we might change up a couple of them. We’re working on that right now.

You’re also doing it through La Scala Boutique.

[Proprietor Rose Cordon] is a monumental figure. She’s like a mom to me. When I had my clothing line before, she wanted to put my stuff into the store then, but the company I was with was a small company and they folded. So I had to wait many years later and try to figure it out. That was another reason why it would have happened a long time ago. But like I said, God’s timing is the right timing.

We’re going to take our time with it. I’m not gonna allow the demand from my fans to be rushed. This is like my album. My fans are the awesomest, but they can be the most non-understanding at the same time. I love them, but I’m not gonna allow them to dictate certain things, whether it’s the timing or direction of my album. I think that this album is definitely going to have a happy medium, and that’s all I’m concerned with. I’m a hustler first. Music is my life, music is what I do, music is my livelihood -- this is how I make money! At the end of the day, I gotta give my fans certain sounds and music that they like, but they’re also gonna get with the new sounds whether they like it or not. They gon’ get with the new thing, because I’ve always been a trendsetter and I do have a new sound and that sound was stolen from me. This is years in the making of another new sound.

Let’s talk about that a bit. You shaped hip-hop music in such an amazing way through your four previous albums…

This is very important to me that this is clear: I was a child. A lot of people don’t even know that because I was marketed to kind of be and look a little older and look a little older, the lyrics of my album was the way it was. I didn’t mind, because when you’re 16, 17, you want to be older so bad anyway. But at that point, I was becoming a child star. At a young age, I didn’t get to fully tell my story. I mean you would think that in the time I’ve been in the game that I would have 10 albums out or something, but I haven’t. If you looked at it like that, this is one of the reasons why my cult following is still there, because I never truly finished telling my story through my music.

So basically for my fans, I’m still kind of a novelty to them. I’m still very much a mystique to them. They’re still very interested in this story. I’m blessed to be well-respected, but at the same time, I would not allow anyone to try to date me because of the simple fact that I was a child. I’m like a child star, like Bow Wow -- he was 10 years old [when he came into the business]. I came in the game seven years later as an artist at 16, 17. 17 is still very young. You’re a kid. You don’t know what’s up at that point; you’re still getting your life together. By the time I was 21, I was a multi-millionaire. I had no clue what I was doing, because I was still very young. At this time, I want to be allowed to tell my story without people like, "Oh you’re such a legend, you’re such an icon in this game!" I will take that icon and the legend talk, that’s fine and I love that! At the end of the day, I’m gonna embrace that. But like I said, I won’t allow no one to make it seem like what I’ve accomplished is all I had to give because I never really got the chance to tell my story and really say, “Okay, I’m gonna go for my own Grammys in time." I got a Grammy, yes, and that’s one of my biggest and proudest accomplishments, but I want one for my own album. It’s like at this point, that’s where I’m at with it, and I never really truly got to display my fullest talent.

Do you feel that on this project, you are going to tell that story that people wanted to hear?

Yeah, absolutely. I think that this is one of my highly anticipated albums and I want it to be fun. What comes with telling a story is fun. I’m not gonna sit here and just make an album that’s story-telling; you can’t play that in the clubs. When I came out, it was a lot [of songs] like that. I had songs on the album where I’m telling a story and these are some of my fans’ best songs like "Heavenly Father" I can’t do. It’s a different time. Don’t get me wrong and I love my fans, but a lot of my fans, when I came out, some of them were way older than me, some of them were my age and some of them were way younger than me. The ones I think that were older than me, I think they never really grew from that with me. They were tryna keep their childhood with me, and so the ones who haven’t grown with me, I can’t do nothing about that. They gotta grow with me, you know what I mean?

At the end of the day, I’m still gonna do what I’m known for. That’s never gonna stop, because I would not be able to make the album without doing what I’m known for or giving them a piece of Hard Core. I wanna give them that feeling, but I also want to bring them into my world a little bit like I did on The Naked Truth. And you know why a lot of my fans loved The Naked Truth? It’s because I was going to prison at the time and I touched on a lot of things that were happening. I’m not gonna make the same album twice -- that doesn’t make sense. I’ve never, for the life of me, understood why fans would think that any artist would make the same album twice. That would not make me a real artist. It’s not realistic. That’s why one of my favorite lines from an artist to me is the Jay Z line when he says, "You want my old sh-t? Buy my old albums." At the end of the day, he’s not gonna do the same things he did seven years ago. He’s a different person, you know? But he’s gonna remind y’all, I’m pretty sure he’s gonna give certain things. Just like me, I’m gonna remind them of what I did before. So it’ll be a perfect mix, and whichever of my fans don’t understand that -- I’m sorry. They got to get left like a lot of my friends who haven’t grown with me. I came up with a lot of friends, and a lot of my friends had to get left because they weren’t growing with me. It’s nothing personal, I love them still with my heart but if my friends aren’t growing, I can’t be held back.

Also, it was 20 years ago. You started as a kid, and your career is just getting started again. Even though a lot of other artists have struggled with this, regardless of gender, it has a lot to do with how in the industry, people want to give just one identifier to a woman. People just wanted to remember Lil 'Kim as Lil 'Kim, age 19 in a purple wig in one video, and not give you the opportunity to evolve. I can understand your frustration in wanting to break past that with this project.

I mean yeah because if I wore that same damn outfit to the club, you would look at me like I’m a damn fool. People still say, "Put that purple outfit back on!" That’s bullshit. They don’t want to see me in that [1999 VMAs] outfit. First of all, if I was still with my record company and we were still moving -- I would update. My music is gonna be updated, my look is gonna be updated. You just update. But there are some fans who don’t understand the meaning of updated. They just think you do the same exact thing and put some blonde stuff in your wig instead of it being all purple. It’s not possible. That’s what I like to constantly do, and that’s what I was known for -- being a trendsetter and always reinventing myself. That’s the moral of the story of my life -- reinvention. Whoever don’t like it, they’ll get with it sooner or later. I like to do what I like to do and I’ma also give that feeling of when I first came out with Hard Core, but on a different level. A classic is a classic for a reason. You don’t touch it. You try your best to top it, and you try to do something just as great as that, but you don’t try your best to duplicate it. I’m not going to try to beat Hard Core, I’m going to try to be just as great as Hard Core on this album or better.

This is also going to be your first project as a mother -- does that change how you approach music too?

Nah, it doesn’t change how I approach music, but it changes how I have to work, because I got a baby now. Before, I could be in the studio long, long hours. I could stay in the studio from one o’clock in the afternoon to one o’clock the next afternoon and it’s all good but I got a baby now. So I’ma work and I’ma do what I do. But I’m not changing anything because I don’t hide anything from my daughter. I also don’t allow her to be disrespectful. I don’t allow her to do certain things. A child should stay in a child’s place and a baby should be babied. I can’t change who I am because that’s when things change. I’m not gonna become a gospel rapper. That’s the only thing left I could do, and it’s not that. So at the end of the day, I’m still gonna be who I am, and I will teach my child as we grow, the difference between certain music. Being a mom is not going to change my content in my music, but it will change the approach in how I work. I’m a mom and I’m always with my baby, and I got to make sure my baby is good myself because nobody is gonna make sure my baby’s good the way I do.

There’s also a possibility you may be doing another type of "Ladies Night" collaboration on this project.

I’m glad you brought that up, because in the media the other day, I had a show and I hate stupid blogs when they try to take my damn situations and clip them. We all know the situation that’s going on with Remy and ol’ girl. That’s their situation and I have nothing to do with that. They have a rumor out there like, "Kim is gonna do a diss track with Remy.” First of all, let me tell you this. Number one: y’all giving ol’ girl too much credit. I’m not even thinking about that. I’m not even thinking about ol’ girl! I’m so far past that. That’s never on my mind. Ever. Ol’ girl has never been on my mind for a long ass time at all. So I hate the fact of that being in the equation. But the situation with Remy, for them to say that we were coming together to do a diss track? First of all, after hearing "ShETHER," that shit is so hard, Remy don’t need no damn help! Why would I need to come together for that? I mean, I’m into the music and I’m speaking musically wise -- the song is just hard, period. Just like [Drake's] “Back To Back” was hard -- just good hip-hop music. But I got nothing to do with that. When I had my situation and my situation came up, I handled my business. If anybody comes to me, if ol’ girl came to me, I’ma give them the business. That’s just the bottom line of it. So if it ain’t coming my way, I ain’t got nothing to do with it. Me and Remy is cool. I hate when media do that. That’s the thing.

What I said was, "Shout out to the beautiful ladies who was on this stage with me tonight, Cardi B and Remy!" because we needed more of that. We don’t do shows together like the men do shows together. That’s what I said! I said, “It’s about time for another 'Ladies Night,' and maybe you’ll see something in the future,” because we’re putting it together! Me and Cardi are already working. I already have stuff in the works with Cardi. We’ve been sending each other texts back and forth. A long time ago when Remy first came home from jail, she sent me a text, so we were kind of already working.

What I was saying was it’s about time for another "Ladies Night" song. Let me explain something to you – I’m a hustler first. The “Ladies Night” record got me a Grammy nomination and several MTV [award] nominations, and we performed the song on MTV during one of the biggest awards moments and my album went double platinum. At the end of the day, I want another one of those. I ain’t thinking about no other bullshit, because like I said, this ain’t what you want when it comes to that because I’m an extremist. Plus, I already handled my business. Everybody else already know, I already put it down. Once that situation came at me, I addressed the person. Like I said, that’s done and over with and they know what it is. That person knows what it is. Me and Remy is cool so I just want these blogs to keep my damn name out the bullshit.

So moving on from that, I would like to have something like that on my new album. Even if I just did records separately with different females, it’s still the unity. I was looking at the footage of me, Cardi and Remy all up there on that stage, and everybody did they thing, everybody held they own. I’m also in the business side of things. I also stepped my game up from when I was a kid in the game and I was not really business-minded. I just was told what to do, so now I’m putting business moves together.

You’re taking complete control over the business aspect because you started so young and said a lot of times that you weren’t in the driver’s seat. It feels like you’re really in the driver’s seat now.

Exactly. I’m independent. I’m not signed to a record company. I do have a situation going on that I can’t really talk about until I can talk about it, but I have a situation going on and it’s kind of a partnership. Again, like I said, it feels good to be in the driver’s seat, be independent and do my thing. It feels really good. At this point, it’s about the artistry. It’s also about the entrepreneurship, the boss moves this time around. At the end of the day, I’m good at certain things behind the scenes as well, so that’s just basically something that I wanted to make good on.

When are you looking to actually drop the album?

I don’t have a specific date, but it’s definitely coming out this year. I have a couple people I want to work with. I’m not gonna tell you who but there’s a few people I want to work with, so I'm just getting those people together and getting them on the album. With me traveling, performing and doing music, it’s kind of hard. Plus I got my baby so I’m just leveling everything now. But I’m going hard.

#lil kim #lil' kim #billboard #rap #rapper #hip hop #interview #2017 #queen bee #queen b #queen of rap #remy ma #shether #hiphop #queen

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thejustinmarshall · 7 years ago

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Interview: Judas Priest Has the “Firepower” to Rock

Interview by Danny Coleman

“I think all artists want to do new material and I say that including myself we always want to come up with new things or just play different grooves or new beats or whatever you can do. I mean nobody is gonna reinvent the wheel drum wise or I’m certainly not but it’s fun to do different stuff and new stuff but the creative side for all of us, again, all musicians want to keep creating and come up with new stuff and in our world when this tour kicks off it’ll be almost three years since we played live. So in other words, that’s a big gap and you’ve gotta do something in that time and as a working band you’re either going to be touring in that gap or make a record and in our case it was obviously the latter,” says Judas Priest drummer Scott Travis as he spoke about the band’s new release and upcoming tour.

“Firepower” (Epic Records) is the new CD, their first studio material in nearly four years and it lives up to its name from start to finish. “I think people will like it, it’s 14 tracks and people have the leisure to listen to it if they want to and in what capacity they want to. They should live with this one for a while because it’s a lot to take in at first but there is a lot of good, different stuff on there. Richie (Guitarist Faulkner) hasn’t done 15 or 18 Priest records like the other guys, so he obviously has a lot of ideas and input. We re-employed Tom Allum and he produced some of the most respectable and successful Priest records, “Scream For Vengeance” and “British Steel,” namely those two so he’s rejoined us and is back on board and then Andy Sneap who is more of a modern producer so it is the best of both worlds and everything came together.”

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“Firepower” hits the masses March 9 and is part of a busy couple of weeks for the band who also released a lyric video for, “Never The Heroes” on March 2 and will be kicking off a tour on March 13 in Wilkes-Barre, PA. as well as hosting a meet and greet album signing on March 19 at 6 p.m. in NYC at Sony Square. “There was a big gap between the last time we toured or released a record so it’s natural for people to say; hey where ya’ been? We’re not exactly social media stars so people wonder; hey what has the band been up to? Obviously we made a record and with this new album I can definitely say that with Richie, Glenn (Guitarist Tipton) and Rob (Vocalist Halford); it’s the songwriting. We didn’t specifically set out to do it any one way, I think it’s the process. Making a record has stages, the songwriting and then there’s the performance part of it and then the combination of the guys behind the mixes coming up with ideas of their own and helping us produce it. It is definitely a collaborative effort. So if we as a band achieve what we’d hoped, then that’s what we wanted to do. A lot of bands can say they want to do something; how many actually can pull it off? The listener has to hear what we as a band tried to accomplish and it’s up to them to say if it was great or it sucked but we as a band can’t say what the listener should feel, think or hear; that’s on them. This time around we went back to a more organic recording state. We went in a room with a guy with the guitar plugged in and a bass player plugged in and Rob in the booth doing some scratch vocals or something but we actually were playing with the guys that we were making the record with and we had gotten away from that a bit but we brought it all back with fury. There’s going to be ebbs and flows with the timing and/or togetherness but rather than correct everything on a computer with “Pro Tools” where you’re,”Mixing with your eyes,” which is a phrase that I’d never heard. It means that you make sure everything is lined up perfectly but then it sounds like it was done by a robot. We mixed with our ears and there’s nuances in there but we’re gonna leave them because that’s how it came across when we recorded it.”

Travis grew up in a somewhat musical environment, his mother went to Julliard and performed often in New Jersey and his brother who is 10 years older exposed him to The Beatles on “The Ed Sullivan Show” and Elvis through an extensive record collection. However, he bristles a bit when asked about his influences as he feels, for rock drummers they are all much the same.“I was always around music growing up and I vaguely remember some things but I remember seeing a drum set and I liked the look of it, the metal and the chrome and thinking yeah that’s kinda cool and then you see the actual movement of a drummer whether it be Ringo or anybody else and you see it first hand and yeah. Influences? I’m gonna answer that but I find it, well I guess everybody wants to know but it’s always the same guys if you’re a rock drummer. We all love Bonham and Neil Peart and Alex Van Halen, Tommy Aldridge, Ian Pace; it’s always the same guys and of course Ringo. Ringo was the first commercial rock drummer, long before Tommy Lee or any of those guys. I mean that is the rock drummer who you look at and say, wow that looks like a cool gig.”

With the start of the tour looming just days away, Travis is chomping at the proverbial bit to get back out on the road; something he very much enjoys. “I can’t speak for the other guys but I can’t wait to get back on the road,” he said with enthusiasm. “I don’t know if you’ll get this emphatic answer from the rest of the band but nobody’s getting younger in any capacity and it’s almost three years since we’ve toured and touring is where it is. I like the travel, like seeing the fans reaction and that’s what we live for. That’s why you started playing drums at the age of 13 for nothing! It wasn’t for chicks or money or whatever or you were thinking you’re going to buy a boat or something; it was because you liked to play. Then the next natural progression is to play in front of people, whether its three people or 10 people at a keg party, I’ve done that a hundred times (Laughs) or a high school talent show, I did that too and everything in between and you do it because that’s what you do. My first gig was a middle aged women’s fashion show; she was my neighbor, this was bizarre. My neighbor would hear me practice so she knew I played the drums, I was 14 years old. This was not a Victoria’s Secret fashion show with 20 year old models, this was a middle aged woman’s fashion show at a country club and she asked me to play the intermission to liven the event up so she knew it was going to be boring. So she literally had me on stage, on a piece of carpet just to do a little drum solo. They opened those big red velvet curtains and here I just started playing and I played for four or five minutes and that was it. I literally played to wake people up at a women’s fashion show; didn’t get paid, didn’t care. So, yeah, me personally; I like being on the road.”

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Travis feels that when the band does go on the road, they need to satisfy both old and new tastes; walking that line between the classic hits versus the new material. “On tour it’s a fine line to walk because you should play the classics and of course if you have a new record you want to play some of that; you need to satisfy everyone as much as possible.”

To discover more about Judas Priest, their upcoming release, the tour and/or the album signing, please go to www.judaspriest.com.

Danny Coleman (Danny Coleman is a veteran musician and writer from central New Jersey. He hosts a weekly radio program entitled “Rock On Radio” airing Sunday evenings at 10 p.m. EST on multiple internet radio outlets where he features indie/original bands and solo artists.)

The post Interview: Judas Priest Has the “Firepower” to Rock appeared first on Concert Blogger.

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blkwidowsweb · 7 years ago

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Chicago Spotlight: A Conversation with Julius the Mad Thinker

Julius the Mad Thinker is a dynamic producer and International DJ talent. Since the age of 17, Julius has worn many hats while distinguishing himself in the dance music industry. He is a true visionary with infectious energy and amazing music. His reputation for uniting music communities and launching premiere DJ music events has attracted worldwide acceptance and respect. Julius’ most recent production to gain international awareness is Mi Casa Holiday (MCH). In 2009, Julius and business partner Jenn Hurst bridged DJ entertainment with unique travel concepts to co-found and form MCH. In 2012, MCH achieved sold-out status. Approaching its 10th season, MCH is a destination event of choice for international travel, leisure, and music enthusiasts in the know. In March of 2017, He released his debut album, “Perspective. I recently had a chance to speak with him about his career, Mi Casa Holiday, his Album and upcoming projects.

BW: Where did your name come from?

JMT: That’s a funny question. I was a creative manager/executive producer of a hip-hop group we (Emmaculate and I) worked together with called the “Rec Center”. We were working on our first album and deciding what would be the first music video. It was 10 MCs, Emmaculate and myself. Everyone went in line and said what they thought the first video would be. When it was my turn and I finished talking the room was silent. One of the MC's looked at me and said, “The Mad Thinker”. It was right around the time I was deciding what my DJ name would be. So that’s how I got my name. It just made sense.

BW Wow…I totally thought it was based on the Marvel Character. [Laughter]

JMT: I didn’t even know there was a Marvel character named The Mad Thinker until years later when I was looking up my name.

BW: You know he’s known for being a genius with this knowledge of technology and photographic memory?

JMT: That’s crazy! [Laughter] Well, I’m definitely on the mad kind of analyzing tip.

BW: What attracted you to house music? How were you introduced to the genre?

JMT: When I was a kid, we would listen to the radio and do splice mixes with three radios and it would always be playing on one, recording on the other. It was always somebody in the mix, whispering “shhhhh” {Laughter}. I didn’t know what I was doing. We were just doing it to do it. Then in 6th grade, there was a kid who moved to our city. He was the kid that if the teacher could control him, she could control the class. So one day she told him," If I grant you one wish, can you make sure the kids will do what they are supposed to do”? He said yes and his wish was to listen to the hot lunch mixes in class instead of going to the lunchroom. I was one of those kids who listened every day at lunch. That was the first time I knew house music. Then, as a junior in high school, I remember seeing these guys getting ready for a talent show and they were dancing. They were moving in a certain way to this music and I was like what is this music? One of the dudes told me it was Larry Heard. I was aww man…this is the real deal. Then there was a teen club that opened and from there… you know…it went from seeing it and listening to it, to dancing to it. After that, I remember throwing my first party. It was so boring sometimes in the suburbs; I bet my cousin that I could throw a party with 500 people. My cousin thought I was crazy. I convinced my mom to throw a party and she would only let me do it on 2 conditions. I had to write an organized plan of what it would be and if I made any money, I’d have to give my sister some spending cash for her first senior trip.

BW: That sounds like me as a mom! [Laughter]

JMT: [Laughter] So it took a while, but I wrote a plan. She didn’t think I would do it and be so detailed. She told me years later when she saw that plan, she said, “I can’t believe this kid wrote this plan…now I gotta let him throw this party”! [Laughter]

BW: Your first business Plan!

JMT: RIGHT! She couldn’t believe how detailed I was, down to the garbage cans and security. I had 605 people to show up for that party. At that party, Emmaculate was one of the first DJs I hired along with another guy, DJ Beauty. I was able to give my sister $300 for her trip. So, my sister goes to Acapulco and has the time of her life. I go on to produce a slew of parties and events. My sister was trying to convince the company she traveled with to hire her as a student organizer. Around the same time, I decided to start DJing. My sister got hired and started working in the travel and hospitality industry and I get hooked on DJing and event production and spend years doing that while my sister spends years working in travel and hospitality. Fast Forward to 2009 we founded Mi Casa Holiday.

BW: What was your motivation for creating Mi Casa Holiday?

JMT: You know, after 9/11, people started to reprioritize what they wanted to do and what was important. I was into producing events; I produced another event around that time called 3 degrees. The disposable income wasn’t the way it was before and it had an effect on promoters, events, and clubs. They didn’t want to pour any money into taking risks anymore so it made the window to be able to succeed in the business, get noticed or have opportunities get smaller and smaller. They started hiring the same DJs over and over again from out of town. I decided to take the type of community and music and create my own niche. That’s the vision I had. My sister always said I should do something in Mexico because that’s what she was doing as a student organizer. It didn’t make sense to me until I started traveling around the world and meeting different artists. One of which was Frank Oral. I ran into him one day and he told me they would love my sound down in Playa Del Carmen. That was 3 years before we started the event. A few years later, I ran into a guy named Nicodemus at a music festival in North Carolina and told him what we were thinking about doing. Nicodemus told me he would introduce me to the president of the clubbing district. I met all the right people my sister had the resources. Ironically, that same company that took her on that tour in high school and hired her is the same company that handles our hotels and tours now. That’s a 20-year relationship that has enabled us to offer 4, 5 and 6-star hotels since the beginning.

BW: See that was a $300 investment and you didn’t even know it! [Laughter]

JMT: Yeah! Totally! [Laughter]

BW: You focused on event production instead of music production initially. Why is that?

JMT: A couple of things. I really felt strongly about the art of DJing. I always wanted to travel around the world and I wanted to be known as a DJ not necessarily just a producer. I went out of my way not to work on music until about 2003. Then I was buying so much music. I remember telling Eric we can totally make this or even better. I’ll never forget what he said; he said: “Dude, this shit is surpassable”! [LAUGHTER] So I started making music. I had a mentor named RC and he was one of the original engineers with Ron Gresham and Steve Shapiro. He told me to keep working on music but to continue to build my community. He asked me, do you see yourself as this superstar DJ or do you see yourself as the person who plans and produces everything? I remember telling him, I can’t imagine not producing things because I’ve always been that way. He said if you build your community, everything else you want to do, you can do it. After a few years of producing Mi Casa holiday. He told me I don’t have fans going to Mi Casa Holiday, I have devotees. I didn’t understand that until he said, These are people who are devoted to your community. Companies spend millions to get what you have. He said the road may be rougher because everything you are going to do is unconventional but you will naturally distinguish yourself from everyone out there. He told me to stick with my own vision. He said when it hits…it’s gonna hit hard.

BW: That’s awesome advice!

JMT: I feel like we are at the very beginning of everything, even though it’s going on 10 years. I kept doing the music but I focused on the event brand and building the community. That’s the narrative of my life, building community. You know it’s either be a star or build a community; for me, it’s always been to build a community.

BW: Why is that important to you?

JMT: I’ve always felt like I can make it but what’s more gratifying for me is when I build something where multiple people can make it or take advantage of it. I’ve been that way since I was a kid.

BW: Who were some of your early house music influences?

JMT: I remember some of the first records I bought. I bought Lil Louis, “Video Clash”, Frankie Knuckles “Whistle Song” and Kerri Chandler, “inspiration”. But what really hit me was when my friend, Eric sat me down and had me listen to "Journey of the Lonely" by Lil Louis. We listened to the entire album and it told this entire story…it was ingenious. I was blown away. It gave me a detailed interpretation of how I view music and projects.

BW: How do you feel music is transformed in your hands as a DJ?

JMT: It correlates to the passion you have for it. For me, I learned that the way I treat the mixer is like an instrument. I played the trumpet from 5th to 12th grade. When I’m playing music, it’s just like when I played the trumpet. The way I take in or absorb the music is an intricate analyzation. When I’m hearing it, I don’t know what I’m listening for but it’s always something special about what I choose and it’s not the same thing or the same amount. It could be one little sound. From that point, I’ve dissected the song and when I play it, I’m going to break it apart so that I understand the role of the part that touched me and deliver it to the crowd I'm playing for; everything else is supporting. I’ve never been intimidated by how someone plays something or if they have the same record as me because they aren’t going to interpret it like I do.

BW: I took a listen to your album and was completely caught off guard by my emotional reaction to it. It had so many different sounds and emotions. I thought it was eclectic, original and told such a relatable story. What was your intention with Perspective?

JMT: I knew I wanted to do an album but wasn’t sure when. Once I connected to Russoul and he shared with me the direction he was going in, I told him about this album. Russoul and I started working together and during a session, I gave him two options, and he chose “Born to Do It.” Now, I originally wrote this song for Peven Everett but that didn’t work out, so then I tried to do it with Nathan Adams, but that didn’t work out either. So Russoul did it and it worked beautifully. “Born to Do it” was the first song we recorded for the album. Once we finished the song, we were super hyped and excited about how it came out. After that, I remember Lil Louis booked me for a party and he asked me if I produced music. I let him hear a few songs and he said this is really good music, however, you played some stuff tonight that was really hard. You got to remember to make sure to give people the ability to hear that side of you as well. That’s why the song “Lifeline” is so intense! Then we worked on the title song, “Perspective”, I knew the album was going to be called Perspective. I had to ask myself, “What’s my perspective on life”? Life can be intense, it can be tragic but here are all these opportunities and possibilities in between. You have to make sure you don’t drown in the negativity.

So now I had the feeling of the album but I still needed to figure out what the story was. What was the story that would generate those feelings and emotions? This album is 99% about telling the story. This story is about a young girl with this incredible musical ability who loses her entire family in this horrible tragedy. Her friends convince her to perform years later and join the music business again and it goes from there. I had to figure out, how does she feel? What is she going to go through? That’s why the 2nd song was “Moments” because it’s about reflection. How would you feel 5 years after this tragedy and performing at this incredible moment of success but your family isn’t there to share it with you? What does it feel like going from that high to that low? Every time I would talk about the different songs, the pieces of the story would come together. “Do It” was going to be the final song on the album but we ended up deciding not to do that. That forced me to write a new song. That’s where “Fearless” came from. Russ and I wrote it together for the album. So the opening song and closing song were the two songs written specifically for the album. When I thought about the album, it wasn’t just about making an album to sell but more about telling this story. After that, I had to figure out the order. So the best way I did that was to make a screenplay for it and that’s how I figured out the order of the album.

BW: It’s rare to get bodies of work in house music because you usually get just singles and tracks. The album reminded me of my own life’s journey. The highs and the lows and all the emotions in between; the anger, the frustration, the pain, the joy, sadness, the doubt, the hope and the fearlessness to rise above it all. That’s why I connected to your album so much.

JMT: That’s so cool. I’m an unconventional thinker, so the entire time the strategy was to provide the context before you hear the music. A lot of times it’s about what’s hot or whether or not this song fits here or there. I thought to provide the context first then let people hear what it’s all about. Everyone who worked on this with me put their blood, sweat, and tears into this project. I may have gone about the distribution differently but the feedback I’ve received has been similar to yours. People who listen to it really connected with the story. I put everything into it and I’m totally cool with the outcome. As long as I keep going, eventually someone is going to see what we are doing over here.

Black Widow: You wear many hats, DJ, Event Producer, Label owner, Music Producer. How do you balance it all and what do you do just for fun and relaxation?

JMT: My favorite thing to do in the world is DJ, but who I am in life is a producer, whether it’s music, events, etc. Everything I do is a part of one vision so it’s not like I’m going left or right, I’m going the same direction. It’s more about timing. Last year I put a lot of time into Mi Casa Holiday and I had a short window to finish the album. So instead of resting, I did my album. That kind of burned me out. I usually shut down after the Mi Casa finale for about a month to regroup recover and reset. I love to binge Netflix movies and series because it helps me as a writer. Sometimes it reaffirms how I think…everything starts with a story. Whether you build it into a song, movie or business…it’s always about a story. Outside of that, I work out and that helps. My wife also… I don’t know how she puts up with me because I have these crazy creative swings. She keeps me laughing and grounded.

BW: That’s the Yin and Yang! It’s awesome to have a partner to bounce those ideas off of and to keep you grounded and be honest with you.

JMT: {Laughter} she’s the tester of all my ideas! We think completely different which is what I love. When I’m writing music, the lyrics have to be strong otherwise my wife will let me know. She’s all about the lyrics first. I’m like a student with some of the awesome friends and musicians I work with. They help me craft the writing into melodies and such. I’ve learned so much from them.

BW: What’s next for you? What’s in store for you in 2018?

JMT: 2018 will be the Launchpad for the next 5-10 years of music, events, writing. It’s also the 10th anniversary of Mi Casa Holiday and we are planning that right now. We have so many different countries we are scouting; Negril, Italy, Rio, San Paulo, Panama, Brazil. I’m focused and excited about that. I’m also working on making sure the “Perspective” story gets in the hands with some Hollywood producers too. I’m in talks about possibly turning the screenplay into a musical, TV series or a movie. I also have Break Away remixes coming out in Dec/January and my song, “I Just Love You ft. Kaye Fox and Russoul was licensed for the movie, “Illicit” ft. David Ramsey and Vivica Fox.

BW: Oh wow, you have your hands in so many different pots.

JMT: Yeah, when I wrote the screenplay, the point was to hand it off so it can keep going. So while I’m doing everything else, these other things are still developing.

BW: What does it mean to you to be a Chicago Artist and to represent Chicago around the world?

JMT: It’s where I’m from. I love my city. I take pride in being from here. Knowing that it’s the birthplace of house music. I feel honored, blessed and privileged. It’s almost not fair because one thing Chicago DJs have in common is their passion. It’s unmatched here! The tier of DJs here is so high, the passion for what we do shows no matter where we are.

BW: Thank you so much for speaking with me today! I look forward to hanging out with you for your birthday party!

JMT: Oh cool! I’m so happy you shared your thoughts on the album. It’s what Life is all about. It’s about going through the most traumatic stuff but you didn’t give up and you bounce back from things you thought you’d never bounce back from and the only way you do that is by becoming fearless. It was my pleasure speaking with you! Thank you so much!

BW: It was my pleasure!

Hope you enjoyed my interview with this amazing artist and musical creative! Until next time, see ya on a dance floor!

Black Widow

Find Julius The Mad Thinker at the following:

Website: www.themadthinker.com

Mi Casa Holiday: www.micasaholiday.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/juliustmt

Instagram: www.instagram.com/juliustmt/

Twitter: www.twitter.com/juliustimt

Soundcloud: www.soundcloud.com/themadthink

#Julius The Mad Thinker #house music #black widows web #Blk Widows Web #Mi Casa Holiday #Perspective Album #Aid To the Soulless Music #JtMT

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