#WHY THE FREAKING DOG

[wish-i-were-heather]

my reaction to seeing the tiramisu card

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai's impeccable detective skills... only when it comes to you ~

"Uh-huh... And you said you were meeting someone last night?" Dazai pretends to jot down this information, his brows slightly furrowed as he scribbles into the notepad he conjured up from his long tan coat just a few seconds ago.

"Yes, that's correct."

"Ah, I see.. Fascinating. And how was it?"

"How was what?"

"Your date." He says, smugly. His head tilts in mock innocence, and his smile stays plastered on his lips while he watches you practically choke on your own spit. Now he's really going to start writing details down...

"Oh, no, it wasn't like that. Nothing that official, heh." You fidget with your fingers, looking down, and suddenly your shoelaces are the most interesting thing you've ever seen. You didn't think questioning would last this long, you weren't even involved in the crime, but this eccentric detective before you says all witnesses are vital for the investigation and you're just doing your civil duty as a valued member of society!

And this drives Dazai insane... how ridiculous that you don't have a clear standing within the life of whomever you were seeing. It should be a crime, really! If you were his, no one would ever hear the end of it. He hums to himself, nodding as if in deep thought as he draws a heart around your name in his notepad, adding his own name right under yours. He clears his throat and looks back up at you, making sure his knees don't give out at the way you seem so bashful around him.

"I beg your pardon? Do I hear that a young and beautiful person has not been swept off their feet successfully?"

Just before you can answer, a young man with white hair and a peculiar asymmetrical haircut runs to Dazai's side. He peers at his notes, and nervously chimes in.

"Er, Dazai? Mister Kunikida wanted me to come find you, but I didn't think you'd actually be working- Why are there so many hearts drawn-"

Dazai immediately moves his hand over the young man's face and comically shoves it away from his notepad, still smiling at at you. He speaks through gritted teeth and a nervous chuckle.

"Not now, Atsushiiiii, I'm working~"

This causes Atsushi to grumble, his face deflating into an annoyed sigh as his gloved hand scratches the top of his head.

"But Dazai, this is kind of important, and I really don't want to have to be the one to tell Kunikida that you're slacking off again..."

Dazai instantly snaps his head to look at Atsushi, pointing at you with dramatic flair, his voice reaching a mocking pitch.

"Oh, but I'm not, young Atsushi! I've come out here on pure basic instinct... I'm conducting a very serious investigation, and so unfortunately Kunikida and the rest of the folks at the agency will just have to wait for my genius intellect to come up with a tantalizing resolve. Get Ranpo to help. 'Kay byeee!~"

Dazai grabs you by the arm and though the gesture is hasty, he's surprisingly very gentle as he drags you away from the white haired young man. You're now standing outside a cafe and Dazai takes out what looks like a business card, presenting it to you. He scans your slightly confused face, and thinks about what other precious faces you'd make for him if he stuck around you long enough like the hound dog he is. He wonders if you'd let him touch your arm again, maybe even your hand... maybe even your-

"Are you okay, Dazai?" You ask in slight concern. Oops! He's been nonverbal for too long. He shakes his head rapidly and lets out a soft chuckle.

"Never been better! Here, take this, it's my personal contact. I think I've got all the notes I need to finish my work, but I seem to be missing one last thing-"

He proceeds to lean in a little, his now softened hazelnut eyes looking into yours intently, and his voice becoming drastically more serious. There's a glint of sincerity, and an emotion you can't quite place, but it makes your blood pressure spike and your cheeks flush at the casual intimacy of it all.

"... A time and date so I can see you again, perhaps?"

You feel yourself feeling giddy, and slightly stammer as your response flows out of you coyly.

"Ooh well, maybe tomorrow in the evening? I'll be off of work then. We can um, get coffee here?" You nod your chin up at the cafe sign, and flash him a soft smile. A smile that will keep him happily satiated until tomorrow.

"Ah, then it's a date! An official one..." He winks at you, and pats the top of your head, the feeling is light and angelic. By the time you recover, he's gone. You get a last glimpse of the way the tail of his coat swishes as he sharply turns the corner of the street, and you stand there smiling like a giddy schoolgirl. What you don't know is he does the very same thing, thinking about how playing with the fire of his own destiny is worth ruining if he could cement himself into your heart. In his adoring eyes, you could do no wrong. That's his job.

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

In a funnier timeline Atsushi and Tachihara would’ve had to keep and co parent that baby

[toastcryptid]

Continuation of this

[sightinghounds]

assembly instructions unclear

[carbonateds-oda]

bro wants him so bad it’s getting embarrassing

[megamindsupremacy]

Behold: my friend group's collaborative and extremely thought-out official Riordanverse character ranking chart. This took over an hour of heated discussion and arguments to work out. The discourse over whether Jack counted as an animal companion or not. Me shouting down the entire room until they let me put Bianca in the Great Tier. The debate over whether we should separate cute and hot into different tiers. The impassioned argument that Khufu counted as a goat and should be in the GOAT tier. The google-images fanart for some of the characters without official art. This thing has it all.

[petitesmafia]

if you think about it Albatross is actually scary as hell,,,imagine being on the battlefield fighting for your life and you hear a mf LAUGHING

[ricciardover]

“what do you mean people are sad about daniel leaving, i don’t like him” wow you’re so edgy and different. do you want a cookie??? should we throw a party?? should we invite helmut marko????

[itskennyphresh]

Whenever you can go out into the rain

DO NOT MISS THE OPPORTUNITY!!!

[civetcider]

will NEVER understand people who are like "scary, i don't like this animal gross" and you ask them why and they just say "look at it, it could kill me :( " like SO? i asked if you like and respect them as fellow living things on this beautiful planet not if you would give it a hug brother

[emotionaldisaster909]

/HEAVY BREATHING/

WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE

WHY IS XIE LIAN SO CUTE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

GOD BLESS PICREW

[feath-r-hopper]

write me letters, ink on paper, i'm so mixed up i could cry!

[seth-burroughs]

Still obsessed with this fucking moment what the hell is happening here. Makoto just bats his eyelashes two times and gently coaxes yomi with a "pweaseee🥺🥺" into just letting the same people he's been trying to kill for the whole week go even though he has an actual somewhat valid reason to actually do that that doesn't require his approval and Yomi's honest reaction is just "ugh fineeeeee but only this time ok........" like what are we looking at here. sick you make me sick

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Iran is bombing Israel apparently, FAFO moment truly.

Both Biden and Trump are vowing to defend Israel with harsh military force against Iran.

If they follow through with it and the US moves against Iran, this will actually become a war.

Do not stop pressuring politicians to support Palestine. Do not stop advocating for Palestine. Do not stop protesting Israel. Do not stop protesting genocide.

From the river to the sea.

[kuruk]

dogs love to escape and run out into the street making you chase them down so both of you can be hit by a car together