#finally had time to process the chap

[carbonateds-oda]

bro wants him so bad it’s getting embarrassing

[chrattho1]

chris sturniolo smut

filthy

warnings: unprotected sex, use of petnames, established relationship

inspired by this prompt by @muwapsturniolo

the kids are fast asleep, the house stands still, nothing but the sound of dishes clinking under the water as you washed and dried them.

a small frown tugs at your face, worried thoughts invading your silenced mind when you realise your husband is unusually late tonight.

it wasn’t until you were washing the last of the cups when you heard the main door creak open, your head snaps and hand subconsciously reaches to turn the faucet off before grabbing a towel from the side to dry your palms and quite literally sprint towards the hallway.

not even halfway out the kitchen your body was pressed to another.

chris’s sweaty broad frame right in your face when he stops you by holding onto your shoulders.

his long-sleeved white undershirt is no longer white, his blue button up rolled across his arms when he pulls back to look at you.

“woah there, what’s the rush ma?” his tired eyes still glinting with playfulness, a grin spread across his spent features.

his hat turned backwards, small locks of hair peeking out. a tiny cut on his lip evidently showing his habit of biting on it when he is focused or working.

he has had a long day.

you don’t respond to his rhetorical question, simply bringing your palm to his cheek and wiping off the black car grease from under his eye.

“missed you” your voice below a whisper, but he catches it perfectly.

a smirk tugging on the corners of his mouth, slowly pushing your body back with his until your ass hits the edge of the kitchen counter.

“missed me?” he mockingly pouts, his calloused palms trailing down from your shoulders to your back and resting on your hips, giving your ass a little squeeze.

you nod softly, pulling his head down desperately for a kiss but to your surprise he pulls back.

“hey now, im dirty” he spoke chuckling, clearly enjoying your state.

“i dont care” you mutter, pulling his head down again, this time more fiercely, kissing him open mouthed and sloppy.

chris giggles into the kiss before tilting his head, lips complying with yours.

you press your tongue onto his bottom lip before taking it in between your teeth, tugging on it as you taste the dried,salty sweat that probably ran down from his forehead.

his hands roam aimlessly around your body and settle on your hips each time, his nose digging into yours which makes both of your breathing sound heavy and shaky.

your fingers tangle in his hair slightly pulling onto some, you need him bad.

it isn’t long until he grips the back of your thighs, pulling you up and setting you down on the counter—all while not breaking the kiss.

your wet lips recede from chris’s, making their way to his jaw, placing small scurried kisses along the prominent bone then down to his neck.

“slow down, im right here” you can hear the smirk on his face, feeling his chapped lips graze your earlobe.

your small hand clutches the hem of his shirt, pulling it down.

he pulls himself off of you finally getting rid of the worn out shirt around his forearm and grabbing the round collar on the one he is wearing to draw it up his head making his hat fall off in the process.

he was quick to get back to your mouth, hungrily kissing it now. his hand comes up to grab your chin firmly, angling your face to his liking.

his dirt filled nails dig into the skin of your cheeks, his palms that were covered in grease leaving faded splotches on your face.

chris’s free hand drops down to undo his belt hastily, making you pull back and help him out to fasten the process.

“missed me so much huh?” he speaks with a mischievous scoff.

you successfully pull his pants down and look up at him to catch him grinning down at you. his index finger reaching to hook on your shorts and you buck your hips to help him pull them down.

his boxers were down the next second, his hard length springing up to his stomach. tip swollen and aching to be inside you.

his digits find their way to the corner of your panties, pushing them aside in a swift motion, his knee nudging your legs apart before his strong hands wrapped them around his torso.

his breath still ragged from the intense make out, lips red and his mouth hung slightly as he focuses on aligning his tip with your entrance.

he doesn’t warn you before slamming his hips into yours, filling you up completely.

chris lets out a low groan as he starts thrusting hard and deep, gripping your hips tightly.

your head falls back, hands stretched out on the counter.

his pace relentless, each powerful stroke sending jolts of pleasure through you.

“holy shit—” he pants out, his eyes dark with lust.

chris’s jaw drops watching you arch your back and bite your lip, moaning loudly.

the sound of your wet bodies and your ass hitting the cold marble counter with each thrust echoes through out the room.

“oh—fuck chris..” you moan out loud, pressing your eyes shut.

chris grins wickedly, your moan spurring on him. he thrusts deeper, hitting a spot that he knows makes you squirm.

“thats it ma, take it” his voice strained.

his nails dig into the flesh of your hips, plowing into you with intensity.

“nngh…chris” your face scrunched up in pleasure, the knot in your stomach getting tighter.

“fuck, y’feels so good..” he growls, one hand sliding between your bodies to rub your clit furiously.

“oh—oh fuck-” your thighs quiver around him.

“like that? huh?” his breath hits your face and you nod frantically in response.

he knows you’re about to cum when he sees the familiar sight of your eyes rolling back pornographically.

your gummy walls clench around him and his hand comes off your clit to grip the edge of the counter to stabilise himself.

with a screech you cum undone on his dick, forming a white ring around the base.

the sounds you make go straight to his dick, queuing his orgasm.

with a final, powerful thrust, he buries himself deep inside you and comes hard, filling you with his hot cum.

chris stays buried inside you, his dick twitching as he empties himself completely. he is breathing heavily, his sweaty forehead pressed against yours as he comes down from his intense orgasm.

chris smiles softly, his thumb gently brushing against your cheek.

he slowly pulls out, making you both shiver at the sensation. he watches as some of his cum leaks out of you, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips.

“so you like it when i am filthy huh” his eyebrows quirk up when he looks up at you and you nudge your elbow into his chest at the comment.

he chuckles at your embarrassment.

not proofread, english is not my first language

taglist: @rhionapp @theboredknightcat-blog @tits4matt @surfer-sturn @whore4mattsturniolo @ncm9696 @tezzzzzzzzz @espressque @sturniolosymphony @ellssturn @mattandchrismakemewett @herewegoagain-b @shadowthesim237 @grace-sturnz @devotedlyteenagemusic @chrislover696969 @iluvvmeeee @sweetshuga @sturnsblogs @ivysturnss @cockettechris @sophand4n4 @joanakaulitz @brianaluvschris @chrepsi @sturniolooluvv @k4urltzx @mattsbunnyxx @bee-43 @mattscoquette @sosasturns @slutforchrissturniolo2 @starsforu @snoopychris @cvnntagious

[codnasties]

bull rider!ghost 👻

having an uni bestie that's from a small rural town as someone who was born and raised in a city has it's perks, like getting to experience things you had never experienced before. and i'm talking about going to a rodeo.

crowd roaring as a new rider sat on an angry bull and got tossed into the air as the animal bucked fiercely. the first few wild dudes that you had seen were interesting. you know, the attraction of something new that you had never really seen before. but after a handful of them it started getting a bit boring, but your friend was cheering on so loudly and seemingly enjoying that so much it would probably be rude to tell them that you weren't having so much fun.

trying to find some kind of entertainment, you told your friend you were going to go and get a drink, because at this moment a beer looked like it would bring you some semblance of entertainment.

but you were wrong, because as you make your way back to the rodeo grounds, your eye caught a rider that was different. he had a commanding and charming aura to him, something that impelled you to look at him. well, maybe it was more that just the way he carried himself.

it was the way those jeans seemed to hug those thick thighs of his, how, with the help of the chaps he was wearing, they left little to imagination, giving you a perfect view of his ass. and oh what an ass! and his shirt... the way his strong and built muscle seemed to flex and ripple with each movement that he made.

when you finally made it back to where your friend was sitting - which took you longer than the way to the bar because of adoring such a man -, this mysterious dude was now on the chute, lowering himself onto one hell of an angry bull.

while the rest of the riders had caught your eye, there was nothing but anticipation inside of you to see him try to tame that ton and a half bull. and he did not disappoint, the beast beneath him bucking trying to get him of.

it wasn't just the way he has holding on or how long those eight seconds seemed to last when it was him on the arena. it was the way his hips swayed trying to follow the bulls movements, the way the bicep of the arm he was using to hold on became impossibly bigger with the tension, the veins that were proptinding on the hand he had up in the air, the glimpse of tattoos on his forearm as the sleeve of his shirt got pulled by his muscles.

before you ever realised, the buzzer had sounded, indicating that the time necessary was over and that he could now get off the bull. and when he did, you became even more intrigued by him and how fucking tall he looked and how he, amazingly, had managed to keep the hat he was wearing on his head the whole time.

seeing how entranced you were by this one specific rider, your friend immediately gave you that information that you were unknowingly desperate to know. "his name is simon riley, but they call him ghost"

"ghost?", you asked them back.

"yup, because of the way he rides, breaks records and then fucking vanishes. the public doesn't really know much about him or his personal life. and it's also a know fact that is hard to even get to meet him and talk to him" they explained. "oh, an also he ghost every single person that he fucks'

"hmm interesting", you hummed, starting to get into your head that as much as this 'ghost' seemed attractive and got you horny just from looking at him, he was quite unreachable and maybe a bit of an asshole.

"yeah, the man's a beast at what he does", they exclaimed, cutting your thought process.

"i can see, you don't need me to tell me twice", you uttered back.

"and he's actually a cousin of mine! let me introduce you to him'" they gave you further explanation.

you couldn't help the immediate 'oh' that left you. because you actually had a chance to talk to this man an maybe, maybe try to cham your way into those tight jeans of his. because an asshole has his charm, you know?

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

hope y'all enjoyed that, i just pulled this out of my pussy.

no smut just pure hornyness. anyways, save a horse ride a cowboy or sum

[strawberryhotlips]

༆THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH ☢︎︎- ➪enhypen ot7 x fem reader

SYNOPSIS: Moving to South Korea at just 20 years old to study medicine was something that made you extremely proud. You had so many plans for the future, but it seems that fate doesn't want the same for you. Overnight, a virus that affects only women spreads throughout the world, causing all the women in the world to die in a matter of weeks. You were the only one left standing, the problem? Nobody knew, only you. As time passed, you managed to survive this post-apocalyptic world, where you had to hide from men because if someone knew that a woman still existed, everything would go to hell for you. You didn't expect seven strangers to break into your house in the middle of the night and you didn't expect what was going to happen next either.

Word count: 4360

Pairing: enhypen! x fem!reader

Genre: Suspense, death, dystopian, post-apocalyptic world, angst, too much drama, slow burn, smut as the chapters go by (mdni), fluff, Possessiveness, jealousy, fights, toxicity, lots of love (I know, it sounds contradictory) enhypen are complete losers for the reader in the best way, strangers to lovers and other things that may happen later

Warnings!⚠️: Death, loss of loved ones, use of weapons, depression and anxiety problems, mentions of suicide, survival, vulgar and sometimes offensive language, graphic descriptions of traumatic events. If you are sensitive, don't read it for your own good. Rader is a little mean to the boys in this chap, but she's just defending herself! everyone is of legal age!! Heeseung is 26, Jay, Jake and Sunghoon are 25, Sunoo is 23, Jungwon is 22 and Ni-ki is 21.

Status: ongoing (16-01-2025 -)

Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction, everything came out of my head, the personality of the characters are not real and do not represent them in real life in any way, any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental. Everyone is of legal age in this universe. English is not my first language so you will probably find spelling mistakes.

Hii beautiful people!! I'm finally back with the second chap of this story! It took me longer than the first one, sorry for the delay! hope you enjoy it a lot! You would help me a lot by liking, reblogging and commenting! Without further ado, thank you very much and enjoy!

CHAPTER I: "Disaster"

CHAPTER II: "Loneliness"

more under the cut ☟︎︎︎

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... that sound definitely wasn't the rain....

Your senses were sharpened to the maximum again, your hand gripping your weapon tightly and securing it close to your body. Your heart and breathing seemed to be in a race to see which one was faster, but you could be sure that your heart was the winner, as you could literally feel it pounding in your ears. Your throat suddenly felt tight and dry, nerves and anxiety on edge, you tried to swallow to moisten it, but your attempts were futile. You could feel tears stinging your eyes from the desperation you felt.

"Holy shit..." your voice was barely a whisper as you tried to process what was happening. You tried to calm yourself and sharpen your hearing so you knew how many men you were up against. Your room suddenly seemed suffocating and tiny, you felt the bubbling of a panic attack in your chest, you felt like you were going to die, your mind kept telling you that your minutes were numbered. You started to shake as one shudder after another went through your body like lightning, it was desperate and terrifying. You quietly climbed down from your bed and approached the door of your room on tiptoe. You wanted to listen better, because despite your fear, dying was not an option, not after surviving for so long. Breathing shakily, you leaned your ear against the door of your room, trying to catch a sound. Fuck, you had no idea what to do, fear made your legs shake slightly.

Meanwhile, on the second floor, the intruders were breathing heavily and panting, a sign that they had been running. Their clothes were soaked from the heavy storm outside, so the floor was filled with small puddles of water and some mud "Fuck, that was close..." one of them said, trying to catch his breath, putting a hand on his chest, feeling the strong beating of his heart as he leaned against the front door, holding it shut.

How stupid you were. In the midst of crying for your mother, you'd forgotten the most important thing: securing the fucking front door of your house.

"It was all Jake and Ni-ki's fault, we almost got caught by the police!" another voice shouted, pointing at the named ones who looked at him with a mixture of indignation and disbelief, while the first boy who had spoken looked at him with wide eyes, signaling him to shut up.

"Excuse me? no no, no way, it's not our fault, no one forced you to come with us Jay..." another of the voices said with a distinctive accent, his words tinged with contempt "And try not to scream, the police might still be around.." Jay frowned and approached this one with indignant steps "Don't be an idiot Jake, we can't let you go off alone in the middle of the night, you know crime has risen too much in the last few years, there's a reason the government declared a curfew after midnight, fuck..." his voice sounded frustrated as he looked at him seriously. "'You're a grown man, you should have a little more conscience, you both could have been killed..." he said this time with more seriousness and concern, scolding him firmly in a whisper. The weight of his words hung in the air.

Definitely none of them wanted to die, let alone go to jail, Jay was right, they couldn't just leave in the middle of the night and put themselves in danger and worry the rest of the group. It was a miracle they had found this house, a few more minutes and the police would have caught them.

"Well, sorry, it was my idea Jay Hyung..." another deeper voice said as he scratched his neck a little embarrassed and looked at the elder "Anyway, we're all fine," he said this time with a little cheeky but guilty smile trying to break the tense moment.

A sigh was heard, followed by another clear voice. "It's okay Ni-ki, make sure you don't do it again please..." he asked firmly but at the same time calmly as he looked at the one named and also at Jake who nodded silently, feeling a little guilty, he had quite a bit of leadership in his voice. Ni-ki nodded, "Okay, Jungwon Hyung..." Ni-ki's deep voice hung in the cold air of the house as Jungwon sighed again.

The house was silent for a few seconds as the boys looked around and surveyed the place, ignoring the fact that they were freezing to death from the water that had fallen on them in the middle of winter. And it had occurred to Ni-ki that it would be fun to leave (escape) from where they lived at three in the morning, Jake saw him trying to leave and joined him on the pretext that he "couldn't let him go alone because it was too dangerous", which brought them all here.

Ni-ki was the youngest of the group, which of course made him the most rebellious, and someone like that always needed an accomplice, which was Jake most of the time, which led to both of them getting into trouble quite often.

"It's a nice house...strange that it's abandoned..." another voice, different from the others, a little softer, broke the silence, praising the architecture of the place, your place. And it was true, it was a huge house, with a modern vintage style. Another of the boys nodded in agreement as he shook his head a little, trying to get the water out of his hair, "Yeah, Sunoo's right...it's pretty nice for being abandoned..." The words hung heavy in the air as the boys looked at each other, seemingly searching for answers, there seemed to be an immediate understanding between them as the named one nodded and the seven began to explore the living room, their steps cautious in the new suspicion that someone already lived in the house. Even though it seemed empty, they had to make sure they were out of danger.

On the second floor, you had managed to identify seven voices from your room, where you were still trying to calm down. So they were being chased by the police for breaking the curfew, tsk...men. Your breathing was still fast, but as you listened to their conversations, you managed to calm down a bit, knowing that because of their actions, it wouldn't be very difficult to deal with them.......

or so you thought

You could hear them walking around your living room and decided that you needed to listen more closely, their voices were a little muffled by the distance. You were about to open your bedroom door slightly, but what sounded like something falling to the floor startled you slightly as your free hand instinctively grabbed the doorknob, as if holding on to it would somehow protect you from them.

"Shit..." cursed the voice of one of the guys whose name you hadn't heard yet, furrowing his brow slightly "Pfff...what an idiot, Heeseung Hyung..." Ni-ki said, letting out a laugh as he sneered at the older one, watching as he crashed into a nearby shelf, causing a ceramic jug to fall and shatter into several pieces on the floor.

Heeseung turned his head to look at Ni-ki with narrowed eyes, "Aish...hey, what a brat...i can't see..." mild annoyance ran through his dramatic voice as he defended himself and pointed at Ni-ki who was still laughing. The other five boys chuckled a little at the amusing situation between the oldest and the youngest of the group. They got along so well, you could hear a certain camaraderie in their voices, as if they had known each other forever "I mean, ....Ni-ki isn't wrong..." the other boy, whose name you didn't know yet, remarked with a slight sideways smile that showed his fangs a little longer than usual, a cute, not-so-usual attraction.

Heeseung looked at him without any amusement on his face, judging him with his eyes. They had this habit of teasing him, not that he really minded, but he was tired, hungry and soaking wet, not in a good mood "Really, Sunghoon, you too?" he shook his head in disapproval as Sunghoon shrugged his shoulders without saying anything else and let out a small chuckle. He was really stressed out too and fuck, the current situation had affected him a lot, he hadn't had pussy in over four fucking years and he fucked so often that he was really going crazy.

Not that he was a pervert (or maybe yes), but he excused himself by saying that "fucking relieved his stress and made him perform better in his daily life"

But he had never experienced falling in love, only one-night stands, just like the other guys. The hope that he could have pussy faded deeper and deeper in the back of his mind, and he resigned himself to settling for his own hand. But he refused to accept that idea, he still had some hope. He didn't just want to fuck, he wanted a woman he could love and who would love him, he wanted to be a good love and he also had a dream of being a father, something that obviously seemed unattainable for Heeseung, in fact it seemed unattainable for the seven men.

They really wanted to fall in love...

In fact, they were all stressed about the lack of pussy.... Even Jungwon and Ni-ki, who were still virgins and had never been able to bury their sad cocks in real pussy, were sexually frustrated. But for Heeseung, Jay, Jake, Sunghoon and Sunoo, the feeling of being trapped inside a pussy was like nothing else in the world and now they could only remember and even imagine because fuck, four years without sex, it was like being a virgin all over again.

But come on, their hearts needed to be stimulated as much as their cocks.

Jungwon cautiously approached the now non-existent jar on the ground, bowing slightly and examining it, "If someone was here, they would have heard us by now..." he mused with a calm expression. He straightened as he turned to look at the other boys, they were like his family, he had known them for many years and loved them like his brothers.

The only thing that illuminated the living room at the moment was the light from the occasional thunder light that came through the window like a horror movie. It was a huge place, enough for everyone to be comfortable "I think we can either spend the night here or keep the place, after all, the one we had was getting too small for the seven of us..." he looked at them, waiting for a sign of denial, but they all seemed to agree.

It wasn't a bad idea, after all. They were in the middle of the forest, far away from the city, where there was more crime by the way, and the place seemed quite cozy. Besides, if Jungwon said so, it was because it had to be. He always made sure that everyone felt comfortable, even though they often fought like siblings, which was sometimes funny, Jungwon always prioritized everyone's well-being.

"Well, we should look for the bathroom, clothes and blankets, I'm freezing...we could take a bath..." Sunoo spoke for the second time, articulating each of his words with his hands. The boys nodded. A hot shower sounded great after running through the forest in the rain, so much that their legs felt tired.

"Good idea, we should split up, go through the rest of the house and look for the things we need..." fuck no, if they went through the rest of the house they would definitely find you and that couldn't happen, they couldn't find you, so you had no choice but to find them before it was too late.

Sunghoon's voice was full of determination as he explained his idea to the others, who immediately agreed. But before they could take action, you beat them to it for your own good.

"I wouldn't do that if i were you..." Your voice finally echoed through the living room with newfound certainty, causing a sudden hush to fall over the place. Your gun was pressed against the large back of one of the seven boys, who was now undeniably tense, you could tell by the way the muscles in his back were contracting under his clothes. He was tall, blond, and seemed to have well-defined biceps.....

"No, idiot, this is not the time to think about biceps, concentrate" You mentally scolded yourself.

Instinctively, he raised both hands to let you know that he was not going to attack you. His hands were shaking slightly and he was completely stiff as he felt the cold metal of your gun against his back, which, in addition to your distinctly feminine voice, sent shivers down his spine.

From your vantage point, you could see the faces of the other six boys, pale and still as if they had seen a ghost. And no wonder, they must be more confused and shocked than ever. The torrential rain that pounded against the windows and roof was the only thing that filled the deadly silence. It was the first time you had seen people in years, your heart was beating fast in your chest and you couldn't tell if it was from fear or excitement...

or perhaps a mixture of both.

After what seemed like an eternity, one of them tried to move forward, his hair was a deep red, but quickly there was an instant click in your head as you pulled the safety off your gun, making him flinch in place, your survival instinct was at its peak "Take another fucking step and I'll blow your friend's head off..." your voice was cold as was the expression on your face, your breathing rapid, matching that of the guys in front of you who seemed more nervous than you.

Your eyes were still slightly red from crying earlier, and even though you were scared shitless inside, you didn't want to let it show, you didn't want them to notice your weakness. This time you leaned your gun against the back of the blond boy's neck, indicating that you meant business.

Fuck, they couldn't let something go unnoticed, something they thought didn't exist anymore and that they would never see again in their lives, suddenly the reality they lived in took a 180 degree turn when you appeared, you were a woman, fuck, you clearly were, and you stood in front of them and threatened to blow Sunghoon's head off with one shot. It all seemed like a lie, the last four years of their lives began to have an unbearable weight on their backs when they saw you. They began to think they were hallucinating and had to blink several times to process the information. Even so, their throats felt dry and their eyes couldn't take their eyes off you. Sunghoon began to feel impatient, yes, he was scared, but he also wanted to see you, so he gathered all his courage to speak

"M-Miss...we don't want to hurt you..." you idiot, he mentally cursed himself for stuttering slightly and scrunched up his face in an expression that clearly said 'I screwed up', he who never hesitated in front of any woman had just done it with you, which left his ego a little bruised, but he didn't care.

You clenched your jaw as you heard him speak, pressing the gun harder against his head, making him tense up even more, if that was possible, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...really, we don't mean any har-..."

Pathetic, he begged pathetically, but a mixture of fear and emotion controlled him at that moment, he couldn't control it.

"Shut up...you talk too much for someone who is being targeted..." your voice was cutting and harsh, making it clear that there was no room for discussion in your words, making Sunghoon shut up immediately as he nodded slowly, almost imperceptibly.

You had to find a way to control the situation, no matter what. You grabbed the boy's soaked shirt from behind and pushed him down, "Get on your knees..." you ordered firmly and he obeyed immediately, kneeling on the ground, you don't have many options when you have a gun pointed at you, making it so that everyone could see you better now. You didn't mean to be so rude, but you couldn't trust them, not yet, "You too, idiots, what are you waiting for?"

Yes, maybe you were too harsh, but you had to guarantee your survival first and foremost.

With the seven men now kneeling on the floor in front of you, you sighed and thought about what to do next. You weren't going to kill them, you weren't that kind of person, even if it gave them a free hand to hurt you, you just weren't that kind of person. But letting them go wasn't an option either, what were you going to do, stay with them? you didn't know them, the most you knew was their names and from the way they looked, they were all around your age.

"Are you really a woman?" the voice of one of them broke through your cloud of thoughts. Oh God, you didn't think they were that stupid, he really just asked you that?

You raised your eyes to look at the boy who had spoken, your brow was clearly furrowed, he had some blue strands in his black hair "Jay, shut up for God's sake," Heeseung spoke softly, clearly scolding him, really, he couldn't believe his friend had asked that. But he didn't blame him, he was just as or even more stunned than Jay by your presence, which made him move slightly in his place, not wanting to alert you, he really couldn't believe his eyes either, actually none of them could.

While you thought intently without saying a word, your gun still rested on Sunghoon's head. You bit your lower lip, trying to think of a quick solution, but damn, this was clearly going to take a long time. A sigh left your lips, you were sleepy, your body was aching and your head was going a mile a second, which made your mental situation difficult as well as putting your thoughts in order. In addition, you couldn't see much because there was no light and everyone's eyes were on you, which inevitably made you a little nervous.

Meanwhile, the boys' minds were no better off than yours, still trying to process that you actually exist and are not a figment of their imagination.

Hell, they even wanted, no, they had to be in Sunghoon's place. Just knowing that you were a woman got them going, but what about your assertive dominance? The way you had brought Sunghoon, who was probably one of the strongest in the group, to his knees with a simple command from your lips was fucking attractive.

The tension in the air was thick, not only because they were threatened at gunpoint, but also because there was an undeniable sexual attraction and tension between you and them. It was impossible to control, something instantaneous that left them with their breath caught in their throats and their cocks already half hardened in their pants, including Sunghoon himself. They didn't want to look like dogs in heat or perverts, they didn't want to scare you and make you think badly of them, but it was something that was simply out of their hands.

The cold they had felt from being soaked earlier vanished at a ridiculous speed and was replaced by warmth. Their faces were slightly flushed and now that they knew you were real, they couldn't help but imagine a lot of situations in their twisted minds, but damn, besides being hard, you were beautiful, a temptation at a glance that made them clench their thighs as their erections went wild.

Sunghoon, who was closest to you, was the most affected, he could even smell your scent, so soft and delicate, the scent of a woman. He stopped himself from inhaling your precious scent with all his might, forgetting that the tip of a gun was pressed against his head.

Jungwon cleared his throat, trying to find his voice in your presence, which was quite strong, "Miss, please..don't hurt us... we can just go and..." a dry laugh came out of your throat as you looked at him with narrowed eyes, cutting off his words, "Sure, I'll let you go so you can shout that you found a woman all over Seoul..." Your words were clearly sarcastic, rejecting his suggestion outright, making Jungwon quickly shake his head in an attempt to contradict you, but your gaze was enough to make him stop trying.

"Then you'll have to let us stay here..." the rational sense of Heeseung had left his head when he dared to say those words with a tone of boldness and obviousness as he looked at you with slightly half-closed eyelids, the ghost of a smirk on his lips.

It infuriated you, how could he be so arrogant when you could literally kill him at any moment? You looked at him as you let go of Sunghoon and approached him with quickened steps. You grabbed his jaw with one of your hands and roughly lifted his face to look into his eyes while resting your gun on his forehead. Your eyes betrayed your anger, but he seemed too relaxed for his own good, "You better shut the fuck up, because if you don't..." the asshole didn't let you finish as he blatantly interrupted you, "If I don't, what?..." he dared you, not only with his voice, but also with his eyes.

How fucking dare he?

"You're not going to kill us..." he said, his fucking grin getting bigger and bigger, "if you wanted to, we'd all be dead by now from the moment you walked into this room, precious..."

Oh fuck, he couldn't be that fucking arrogant, but he was right, you wouldn't kill them and you hated that he could read you so easily without even knowing you.

You clenched your jaw, wanting to break his ridiculously attractive face, because that was one little detail you hadn't been able to overlook, they were all fucking attractive, but you couldn't afford to think about that when your top priority had to be keeping yourself safe.

You clenched his jaw with your hand, your fingers digging lightly into his skin, causing a small sigh to leave his lips, "You're right, i may not want to kill you...but I'll blow your fucking balls off if you keep spitting shit..." this time he didn't dare interrupt you, instead he seemed to be lost in limbo. His gaze was fixed on your lips as you spoke each word with furious determination....

Fuck, you had fire in you

The formula was simple: danger equals adrenaline, adrenaline equals thrill, and thrill equals arousal. There was no other way to explain why they enjoyed danger so much.

The others were waiting for the scene to unfold in front of them.

So you weren't going to kill them. A relief settled in their chests when they realized that you weren't a bad person, you were just defensive, which was completely normal when seven intruders enter your house in the middle of the night. Jungwon had quickly understood and realized that Heeseung had been the first to notice, that's why he dared to talk to you like that. Now the group was less tense, they trusted their oldest member, they knew that Heeseung wouldn't risk doing something he wasn't completely sure about.

"All right, no need for anyone to get hurt, miss..." Jungwon interrupted what seemed to be a dueling stare between Heeseung and you, his words a little more confident now that Heeseung had taken it upon himself to break through the layer of harsher tension, but still he was being cautious.

Your eyes didn't leave Heeseung's and you didn't take the gun away from his head either, but his words echoed in your head and honestly, you didn't have much of a choice. Curiosity bubbled in your chest, you wondered what to do, you had been alone too long, you remembered nights when you couldn't sleep because you were so scared. Maybe letting them stay was your best option, you knew you were the last woman on earth, you were sure that if you asked them to do something, they would do it without hesitation and maybe they could protect you. Bring you out of your state of loneliness, which seemed to grow with time.

The boys' knees were starting to hurt from kneeling for so long, but the tense situation in the living room was too tense for any of them to try to make a move. Everyone was waiting to see what would happen, including you.

A sigh escaped your lips when you realized that you would have no choice but to let them stay here, but if that was going to happen, it would be under your own rules. You didn't want to be alone anymore, which didn't mean that you were going to blindly trust them overnight, because trust was a luxury you could pay dearly for if you decided to put all your cards on the table.

You let go of Heeseung's face and slowly lowered your gun, your gaze, still quite hard, shifting from him to the other guys as you took your time to study their expressions.

"Alright..I'll let you all stay..." you finally declared and your words were an immediate comfort to the seven men in front of you, but before any of them could say anything you continued "But..." you fell silent for a few seconds, letting the anticipation fill the air "if any of you do anything stupid, i swear...

i will kill you..."

CHAPTER III: "Trust Issues"

taglist 🫶🏻: @strxwbloody @ch4c0nnenh4 @aussie-boys-wife @deobitifull @engeneheree @suhwife @elairah @merwdusa @d-dilemma @liafterhours @btxtenha @wonenonly @cara9065 @otterluver05 @imnotsaika @immelissaaa

[novascharms]

teach please me — tutor!reader x soccer player!rafe

reader's life is meticulously planned, from high school to becoming president of the country—she knows exactly where she's headed and every step to get there. but her airtight plan hits a snag when the principal ropes her into tutoring rafe cameron, the school’s star soccer player, who’s failing algebra and at risk of being benched next season. the team needs him on the field, and reader needs the principal’s glowing recommendation to secure her spot at her dream school. balancing her ambitious goals with rafe’s chaotic charm might just throw her perfectly crafted plan off track.

word count — 3.5 chapter index — prev. chap. masterlist

a.n — LAST CHAPTERRR WHATTTTT????

twenty

saturday, march 1st

rafe had always been quick to anger, a spark that could ignite into a wildfire in an instant. it wasn’t new, not even when he was small. sarah had learned to handle it, to temper him.

when they started kindergarten, sarah had this white backpack covered in strawberries. she’d seen it in a shop window during their family trip to andalucia that summer, and she wouldn’t stop talking about it until their mom finally bought it for her. it wasn’t even a proper school bag—too small and flimsy—but she adored it, carrying it everywhere like a prized treasure.

on their first day of school, she proudly wore it to recess, a bright little girl with her beloved strawberry bag. but then a boy decided he didn’t like it. maybe he thought it was too girly or just wanted to be mean, but whatever his reason, he grabbed the bag and threw it over the fence, far beyond where any of them could reach.

sarah’s wails echoed across the playground, pure heartbreak in a five-year-old’s voice. a teacher could’ve retrieved it, sure, but rafe didn’t wait for that. instead, he marched up to the boy and sank his teeth into his arm so hard that the boy’s scream rivaled sarah’s.

rafe got in trouble, of course—a big punishment that involved missing dessert that night. but as their mom scolded him, sarah slipped half her chocolate chip cookie under the table to him with a quiet giggle, a silent thank you for being her fierce protector.

as they grew older, rafe learned, at least somewhat, to channel that temper. he stopped biting people, but his anger still ran hot, boiling over when he couldn’t contain it. sarah was always there, the cooler head, the voice of reason. she wasn’t exactly calm herself—she had a sharp tongue and wasn’t afraid to use it—but she was measured in a way rafe wasn’t.

their childhood was a constant cycle of rafe charging into fights and sarah pulling him back. later, topper joined her, both of them learning how to talk rafe down, to cool him down.

rafe got his own ways to calm himself down like soccer or sex. over time, he got better at managing it—sort of. it was never perfect.

you were the closest he got to completely controlling it.

it was hard—almost impossible to get angry with you and when he did, he found it even harder to stay mad at you or to express anger toward you.

around others though? his control was shaky at best, but it was there. most of the time.

but not now.

his heart was already breaking, watching you storm out, your tears seared into his mind, your words still cutting him like shards of glass. and then, as if the universe wanted to twist the knife, sarah appeared at the door, standing there with two suitcases and an expression that shifted from excitement to confusion the moment she saw his face.

rafe’s chest heaved with uneven breaths, his vision blurred by the tears that hadn’t stopped falling. he stood frozen, staring at his sister like he couldn’t fully process what was happening.

sarah didn’t need to ask. she could see it—the pain etched into his features, the trembling in his hands. without hesitation, she dropped her bags right there and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her embrace. “it’s okay,” she whispered softly, her voice a soothing balm against his raw nerves. “i’m here.”

for a moment, he stood stiff, his body locked in place. but as her words sank in, something in him broke. his arms came around her, clutching her tightly as he buried his face against her shoulder. his composure shattered, his sobs muffled by the fabric of her sweater.

sarah looked over his shoulder, sharing confused glances with the others in the room—his friends, equally lost but clearly shaken. her hand rubbed gentle circles on his back, her voice low and steady. “what happened? was that her?”

rafe finally pulled back, his red-rimmed eyes meeting hers. he looked dazed, as if he didn’t fully understand the answer to her question himself. his face was pale, blank, and then, as if a switch flipped, that blankness shifted. his jaw tightened, and his eyes darkened. something was bubbling up inside him, something sharp and volatile, like that temper that had always been so terribly hard to contain.

he spun around, anger radiating off him in waves.

“what the fuck is wrong with you? what the fuck is wrong with both of you? are we in fucking kindergarten for you to be acting like this?” rafe’s voice roared through the room, the sharp edge of his anger slicing through the tension. it was the kind of rage they hadn’t seen since his fight with topper, a stark contrast to the lighthearted smiles he’d worn just hours ago.

adriana, unfazed, leaned against the wall with a smirk. “what? you don’t want your little rory gilmore wannabe over there to know exactly who you are? isn’t that kind of part of the deal in a relationship?”

rafe’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, and while he’d never lay a hand on a girl, he was damn close to asking sarah to do it for him. his chest heaved as he stared her down, barely keeping himself in check.

“please, don’t tell me this is all because of what i said at the bon—” his words trailed off as his mind churned, flicking through the hazy memory of that night.

his gaze snapped to kiara, who stood to the side, eyes wide as she watched the scene unfold. “y/n said she was going to try and find me, right?” his voice was sharp, demanding. kiara hesitated, then nodded. “she was going to ask cora if she knew where you were.”

everything clicked. the pieces fell into place like a sick puzzle, and rafe scoffed bitterly. he turned toward cora, his eyes blazing. “of course. the fucking bonfire. that’s what happened. you told her where to find me, and i was with adriana behind the beach bar—”

“with adriana behind the beach bar?” sarah cut in, her voice laced with disbelief.

“it wasn’t like that,” rafe snapped, shaking his head violently.

adriana, always ready to stir the pot, opened her mouth. “please—”

“no, shut the fuck up,” rafe barked, cutting her off before she could weave another lie. “it wasn’t like that, and you know it. one, you were drunk off your fucking ass. in what world would i have done shit with you? and two, i was literally letting you down gently. you know that, adriana. you know that wasn’t what it looked like. and i bet i know exactly who told her otherwise.”

cora shrugged with infuriating nonchalance, her lips curling in a slight smile. “how was i supposed to know you’d be macking behind the beach bar, rafe? maybe you should just be more careful.”

“wait, so you were making out behind the beach bar?” topper’s voice cut through, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“no!” rafe practically shouted, his voice strained as his frustration boiled over. “we weren’t doing shit behind the beach bar. i was telling her—” he jabbed a finger in adriana’s direction, “—that i do not, and will never, want to do or be anything with her!”

sarah’s voice broke through, her tone dripping with rhetorical disbelief. “and you led y/n straight to them so she’d see them together and assume the worst?”

the room was silent, the answer obvious to everyone.

pope shook his head, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “and now you’ve shown her his valentine’s day letters, full of all the shit he did before her, to…” he made air quotes, “‘show her who he really is.’”

adriana scoffed, completely unfazed. “whatever, pope. it was funny. she just doesn’t have a sense of humor.”

rafe snapped. the tension in his body erupted into motion, and he stormed toward adriana, his rage barely restrained. “fuck you, adriana,” he snarled, his voice low and venomous.

sarah’s hand shot out, gripping his arm to stop him, and topper stepped between them, shoving a firm hand against rafe’s chest. “rafe, don’t,” topper said sharply, his voice steady.

adriana, as if determined to push every button, hurled another insult, her smirk never faltering. "come to think of it, i think she might've smiled when i showed her lexi's lacy reds." rafe lunged again, and topper shoved something into his hand. “rafe!” topper barked, shaking him out of it. rafe looked down, his breath hitching when he realized it was his car keys.

“go,” topper said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “go get her back. i’ll deal with all of this.”

rafe’s jaw tightened as he looked between his keys and the chaos in the room. without hesitation, he nodded. he turned to sarah, pressing a quick, grateful kiss to her forehead, and then he was gone, tearing out the door into the cold night and climbing into his car, determination coursing through his veins.

he called you over fifteen times on the way to your house, his voice breaking in every voicemail. speed limits became meaningless as he pushed his car to its limits, desperate to reach you.

when he finally did, his heart dropped. there you were, stepping out of a car he didn’t recognize.

“thanks for the ride, angelo,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. you couldn’t muster a smile, but angelo gave you one anyway, warm and understanding. “anytime, y/n,” he replied softly.

“are you sure you don’t want me to come in?” ivy asked again, her tone tinged with worry. you shook your head, your hands twisting nervously. “i… i just want to be alone. but i’ll call you and the others tomorrow?” your voice cracked, shaky and unsure, and ivy nodded, sadness in her eyes as she gave you a small wave.

you watched them drive away, their car’s taillights disappearing into the night. you stood there, rooted to the spot, the glow of your house’s porch light illuminating your figure. your parents were still awake; their silhouettes passed behind the curtains. they’d see you if you went inside, ask questions you weren’t ready to answer.

but you didn’t have anywhere else to go. the weight of it all crashed over you like a wave, and your hands flew to your face as the tears overtook you. standing there on the quiet roadside, you felt utterly lost and quite stupid.

then you heard footsteps. soft but purposeful, they broke through the stillness, louder than your muffled cries.

you turned sharply, your breath catching when you saw him. his chest was heaving, his hair disheveled from rushing, and his face streaked with tears. panic surged through you. before he could say a word, you stepped back, already planning your escape.

“no, no, wait!” his voice cracked as he rushed forward, blocking your path to the door.

“m-move, rafe.” you stammered, your voice trembling with anger and hurt. “get out of my way.”

but he didn’t. he stood there, his eyes wide and desperate, filled with a softness that made your chest ache. “please, i know how this looks,” he said, his voice breaking as he stepped closer. you noticed his hands were shaking, his entire body trembling with emotion.

“b-but you told me…” his voice faltered, and your breath hitched as his hands cupped your cheeks, his touch impossibly gentle. he tilted your face toward him, forcing your gaze to meet his tear-streaked one.

“you told me you know my heart,” he whispered, his words shaky but urgent. “you know my intentions. remember that?”

your tears fell harder, your body shaking as the dam broke completely. you tried to look away, but he held you there, his forehead brushing against yours, his breath mingling with yours.

“you know me,” he repeated, his voice firmer now, but still raw with pain. “just… just give me the benefit of the doubt. let me explain. please.”

you clenched your fists, your nails digging into your palms as you struggled to keep the flood of emotions at bay. his eyes searched yours, pleading, begging, filled with a vulnerability that cut deep.

after a long, agonizing moment, you exhaled shakily and stepped back. his hands dropped from your face, and the regret that flashed across his features was almost unbearable to witness.

“fine,” you said quietly, your voice wavering.

relief washed over him, his shoulders sagging as he exhaled sharply. his eyes darted to the front door just a few feet away, then back to you, his expression still raw with emotion.

"can we go inside—"

"no," you cut him off sharply, your voice steady despite the storm raging in your chest. "and you stay right there." you point to the spot a couple of feet away, and the distance feels like a safety net you desperately need.

"alright," he says softly, nodding as his eyes lock on yours. there’s a gentleness in his gaze that only makes the ache in your chest worse. he shifts his weight, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "just… bear with me. this might take a minute. and you can’t cut me off, okay? just—just let me talk all the way through. can you do that for me?" his voice cracks slightly at the end, and it feels like a plea, like there’s nothing he wouldn’t give for you to agree.

you nod, your throat too tight to speak. his face falls slightly, as if your silence physically hurts him, but he takes a deep breath and straightens up.

"it was a little over two months ago," he starts, his voice trembling, "that principal oakley and my dad had a pretty firm conversation with me about my grades. i needed to fix them was the main consensus. sarah had just left after spending christmas with us, and i was in a shitty mood when school started. i didn’t know how to fix anything nor did i feel like it. my last tutor quit mid-session because i was being an asshole, and my dad was… furious. i had to make sure the next one didn’t leave."

he shifts, his hands moving restlessly as he talks, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. "eventually, our algebra teacher suggested you. oakley agreed, and that first thursday after break, he called me in for a meeting with him and my new tutor." he lets out a dry laugh, his eyes flickering to yours with something like regret. "he hadn’t told me that you didn’t even know about it."

your stomach twists as the memory clicks into place, but you stay quiet. he notices your expression and swallows hard.

"so we meet," he continues, his voice softer now, "and i walked out of that office completely and utterly… enthralled. i’d never been so fascinated, so captivated by someone within five minutes of meeting them. you were rattling off about your recommendation letter, and i wasn’t even subtle about it. if you had spent two seconds looking at me, you would’ve seen it."

he pauses, his voice catching. "you would’ve seen that i looked at you the same way i’m looking at you now. like a man who’s so… stupidly in love with you, he doesn’t even know what to do with himself."

your breath hitches, and you feel your knees threaten to give out. he takes a shaky step forward but stops himself, his fists clenching at his sides. "i fell harder every single day. there hasn't been a moment, not a second, since i met you that i’ve wanted anyone but you."

"the bonfire…" his voice dips, heavy with regret, "it wasn’t what it looked like. cora and adriana—they pretty much set me up. adriana was drunk and wanted to hook up—that's why she was all over me— but i didn’t want anything. we were friends or i thought we were so i was trying to let her down gently. what you didn't see was when i walked her back to the bar for some water to sober up. nothing happened, and it never would’ve. not with her. not with anyone else."

he wipes at his face, his hands trembling. "as for the letters…" he sighs deeply, his shoulders sagging under the weight of the words. "i only opened three. then i threw them out. they had to have dug through my trash to find them which is..a level of pathetic i don't even think i can process right now."

you feel your pulse pounding in your ears, your stomach knotting as he continues. "the one from lexi? the one that said i'd see her next friday? the boys from the soccer team and some other teams across obx throw a kegger every month, it's always the last friday of the month. lexi is just some girl from.." he pauses with a sigh, "god, i don't even know where she's from. we..sometimes sleep together after the kegger, it's really a no-strings thing, i don't feel shit for her, she doesn't feel shit for me. the last kegger was yesterday and i didn't even go which means i last slept with lexi..late december, during the winter break. two weeks before you and i even met." he explains, eyes darting for a moment beofre he’s looking at you again. “the underwear are..really hers..” he says and your lips purse. he shifts like he wants to come to you but he stops himself. “i don’t wanna lie to you, we did stuff like that. i kept them to give them back next time i saw her because she’d like kill me if i tossed them. i still mean what i said, though. i don’t like her, she doesn’t like me. it was meaningless sex. i’ll call her right now to prove it to you if you don’t believe me.” he’s almost begging but you shake your head subtly. “i believe you.” you mutter quietly.

his voice cracks again, and you feel your resolve start to chip away. "the one about telling a girl i loved her? this will sound..terrible but i don’t know who wroe that letter.." he says and the look on your face says a thousand words. he's immediately scrambling, "i know how it sounds," he says, voice thick with emotion. "and i’m not proud of who i was before you. i’ve slept around, dated girls—too many girls, but none of it ever felt right. none of it meant anything until you."

he steps closer, his eyes searching yours. "you made me better. you make me better. in every way. and i know you probably feel like you can’t trust me, like i’m going to hurt you or cheat on you, but i swear, i haven’t even thought about another girl since you. i love you." his voice cracks, and the raw sincerity of it cuts straight through you. "i love you so much. and if you just… give me one chance, to prove it to you..because i can make you happy, i can make you the happiest girl in the world if you'll let me."

you stare at him, every word sinking in like an anchor pulling you under. your hands are trembling, and tears sting your eyes, but you can’t stop yourself from whispering, "you… really love me?"

he lets out a strangled laugh, his hand running through his hair again. "i didn’t talk to my best friend for three weeks because he said something shitty about you. i fractured his nose for it. i suffered through..the absolute worst blue balls of my entire life because i could see you weren't ready for anything but what i gave you and i didn't want you to panic and run away, i spent hours at your house even when i didn’t need to be, just to be near you, i listened to you talk about things i barely understand because the sound of your voice is my favorite thing in the world."

you can’t breathe. everything he’s saying crashes over you like a wave, pulling you under.

"i put everything else aside to be with you. i put you above everything. you're above it all. i’ve made it so clear." he continues, stepping closer still.

his voice is breaking now, and he steps closer as your tears spill over, hot against your cheeks. every word, every moment, every puzzle piece starts clicking into place, and the weight of it is too much.

"i know i’ve overwhelmed you," he says softly, his voice full of regret. "and you probably need time, but i hope—"

and suddenly, you’re moving. you don’t even realize it until you’re standing right in front of him, grabbing his face, and pressing your lips to his.

he lets out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a relieved sigh, his arms wrapping tightly around you as if letting go wasn’t an option. his lips move against yours, warm and desperate, like this is the moment he’s been waiting for.

it’s messy and frantic, all teeth and tears, but neither of you seems to care. his breath stutters against your mouth, and he makes a sound deep in his throat, somewhere between a sob and a gasp. his arms wrap around you like he’s terrified you might slip away, one hand splayed across your back, the other tangling in your hair.

"i love you," you choke out between kisses, the words spilling from your lips like a prayer. "too..and i'm sorry, i'm so sorry. i should’ve trusted you, i should’ve—“

"hey," he murmurs, his lips brushing yours as he pulls back slightly, his voice a soft rasp, "it's alright. what were you supposed to think? i know i have a..reputation."

you shake your head fiercely, cupping his face even as your fingers tremble. "but you've show me anything but that, rafe," you whisper, voice thick with emotion.

"anything but that. you've been kind, you've been patient—you've protected me. you've cared for me in ways i didn't even realise i needed. and you've never—never—made me feel like there was anyone else. not once. the way adriana and cora talked about you, the way they painted you like some selfish, heartless asshole—it wasn't you. and i should've known that. i did know that."

his throat bobs as he swallows hard, his hands tightening around your waist. "that's not completely true," he says suddenly, voice barely above a whisper.

your heart stutters in your chest.

you stare at him, the air between you turning unbearable heavy. "what?"

rafe exhales sharply, his grip on you tightening for a moment before loosening, like he's fighting something within himself. "i don't even know why i'm about to tell you this," he murmurs, shaking his head slightly. "but i need to. i want to be honest with you."

your stomach churns with a nervous kind of anticipating, but you stay silent, watching him carefully. he looks wrecked, eyes glassy, jaw clenched. you want to kiss it better but don't or maybe you can't.

slowly, he leans in, his forehead pressing against yours, his nose brushing against yours in a way that makes your chest ache. it's soft, intimate—charged. it feels like a confession. like a goodbye.

your breath catches again.

"rafe.." you whisper, barely able to get the word out.

his hand slides up to cradle your face, thumbs skimming over your damp cheeks, his touch so gentle, it makes you want to break apart. "just let me say this," he pleads quietly

his hands slip from your face to take your hands gently, his thumbs tracing the ridges of your knuckles. you can feel the tremor in his fingers as he guides you toward your front steps. he sits first, his back leaning against the pillar, and you settle across from him.

“despite how it all looks… i haven’t had a girlfriend in close to three years,” he starts, his voice uneven. his gaze flickers away from yours for a moment, like he can’t bear to see the reaction on your face. “it’s just been… flings, hookups, fuckbuddies. i’ve done some girls so, so wrong, and i never apologized. hell, i never even cared. i think a part of me wants to care now.” he pauses, exhaling shakily. “the thing is, i don’t think i care about being a good man. i just care about being the right man for you. about being good enough for you. i've hurt a lot of people and it never mattered to me. none of it mattered until you..you forced me to look in the mirror, to reflect because i wanted you—i want you. i want you to be proud of me, i want you to want me and see me as a good person even though i haven't always been. i think i'm scared that you'll see me for who i really am and know that i'm not good enough for you."

your chest tightens as his words spill out like a confession he’s been holding in for years. his voice cracks slightly as he continues. “i don’t even know how you’ve got me this fucked up about you. you just… you look at me with those eyes, and i want to be honest. i want to tell you everything about me, and i want to know everything about you. sarah and i have tried to figure it out so many times—”

your eyes widen. “you talk about me to sarah?”

his head snaps up, disbelief flashing across his face before he leans back against the pillar with a soft, breathless laugh. it’s a sound that’s equal parts relief and affection.

you can’t stand the space anymore. you shuffle closer, your knees brushing against his. when he lowers his head to look at you, his blue eyes are clearer, more focused, but still brimming with emotion.

“i love you,” he whispers again, like it’s the only answer he has.

your heart skips a beat, and before you can think twice, you blurt out, “i cheated on a test.”

rafe freezes, his brows furrowing, his eyes locking onto yours with confusion. it’s as if he hasn’t even begun to process what you’ve just said. “bullshit.” his voice is low, almost amused, a smile tugging at his lips as though he thinks this is some kind of joke.

“it's not,” you say quietly, a sheepish smile tugging at your lips. “i had too much on my plate. i forgot to study, and i cheated. no one—not even hazel—knows.”

his smile falters, and something shifts in his gaze—a quiet seriousness settling there as he studies you. “why are you telling me this?” he asks, his voice quieter now, almost cautious, like he’s afraid of the answer.

your hand lifts instinctively, resting gently against his cheek. his skin is warm beneath your touch, and his eyes search yours, looking for meaning. “because,” you whisper, your voice barely audible as your nose brushes against his, “i am the most unbearable person about my grades. about my future, my career. i put so much emphasis on doing everything right—on justice, on my morals, on my willingness to do good, to be good. i’m all of those things, rafe, and yet i still cheated. and it wasn’t okay. it really wasn’t.”

your voice breaks just slightly, but you press on, your fingers tracing a soft, grounding pattern on his cheek. “i have nightmares about it sometimes, about someone finding out and throwing me in a jail cell for it,” you admit, and a small, embarrassed smile escapes as rafe’s lips twitch upward at the thought. his smile is faint but real, and it gives you the courage to continue.

“but i’m a human being,” you murmur, your words gentle now, like you’re trying to reassure not just him but yourself. “i make mistakes. i make choices that aren’t considered okay sometimes, and yet, i still get the chance to wake up the next morning and try again.” your gaze holds his, unwavering, as you whisper, “everyone has weak moments, rafe. everyone has times when things are really shitty, and they express it in different ways.”

his expression softens, his vulnerability showing through the cracks in his carefully guarded exterior, and you take a breath, your tone filled with quiet determination. “i don’t think you’re a terrible person. as long as you’re trying—always trying—to be better, to be a good, kind person, i could never hate you. i could never give up on you.”

his breath hitches, and you see the tears gathering in his eyes, making them glisten in the dim light. he swallows hard, his jaw tightening as though he’s trying to hold himself together.

his shoulders shake as he exhales, and you realize he’s crying. tears glisten in his eyes, trailing down his cheeks, but his gaze never leaves yours. “thank you,” he breathes, his voice barely audible, yet full of a raw, unfiltered emotion that sends your heart spiraling.

you press a kiss to his forehead, your hand still cradling his face, and whisper, “always.”

your lips finding his again. it’s not rushed this time—there’s nothing hurried about the way your mouths meet. instead, it’s slow, deliberate, and you kiss him like you’re trying to kiss away every ounce of pain he’s carrying.

"it’s okay," you whisper against his lips, your voice soft and soothing. "it’s okay, rafe. i love you. i love you too. i promise, it’s okay."

his forehead falls against yours, and he closes his eyes, his breath coming in uneven breaths as he clings to you. "don't go anywhere," he pleads quietly.

you press one soft, lingering kiss to his forehead, whispering, "i love you, and i’m not going anywhere."

end <3

but not really cause there's an epilogue yaaayyyy.

just in case some of you won’t be reading the epilogue, i wanted to take a moment here to express my immense gratitude for reading teach me. writing this story has been an incredible experience, but sharing it with all of you has been even more special. this was my first time putting my work out there, and seeing your reactions, analyses, and thoughts has been unbelievably rewarding.

i hope you enjoyed the journey as much as i did. i also hope everything made sense and that you’re not walking away with lingering confusion—but if you are, feel free to drop a question in the comments! i’d love to discuss anything you noticed or clear up any inconsistencies.

thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart for reading. i hope my next story will be something you love just as much.

lots of love and kisses, nova

chapter index — prev. chap. — epilogue

taglist — @rafeysworldim19 @my-name-is-baby @pogueprincesa @fveapplestall @chalametlover444 @slutglimreqpers @uarmyhopeworldwide @junxe3 @bakuhoethotski @wintercrows @magicalflowerstranger @kinderwh0r3 @bigjuli444 @singlethreadofivy @stylestarkey

let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist & interact with post to remain tagged <3

[kitten4sannie]

HOT TO GO!

pairing: boyfriend! hongjoong x fem! reader

genre: smut

summary: poor hongjoong always ends up fighting demons when he’s up too late in the studio. he has no choice but to facetime you in hopes that you’ll help solve his dilemma.

w.c: 1.5k

warnings: soft dom but slightly subby! hongjoong, sub with some dom tendencies! reader, phone/facetime sex, teasing, pet names, dirty talk, some instruction giving, tit play/sucking requested by joong (they match each other’s freak okay), mutual masturbation, brief breeding kink

a/n: oh captain my captain~~ oomfs let me know about this wonderful prompt and i simply couldn’t say no 😵‍💫💕 there’s something about a nasty facetime call between two people that are extremely desperate for each other that drives me insaneeeee GOD. enjoy lovelies <3

song rec: cyber sex by doja cat

“Come on, let this be the one,” Hongjoong sighed to himself, listening intently to the track he was in the process of crafting. After hours and hours spent hunched over his monitor, something still wasn’t right. “Fuck, man…”

He rubbed the pads of his thumbs into the bridge of his nose once he removed his reading glasses, pinching it slightly. He glanced at the bottom of the monitor with his bloodshot eyes, noting that the clock had just struck 12, before looking down at his phone screen, tapping it gently, a breathtaking photo of you popping up and almost making him forget where he even was. He couldn’t believe he had to be away from you for so long, stuck inside his studio instead of being being stuck between your trembling thighs, wishing he could listen to the lovely sounds you produced for him rather than the artificial ones he made with his keyboard.

The longer he thought about what you were possibly doing in bed without him, the more he began to squirm in his plush computer chair, grabbing at the crotch of his baggy sweatpants. Maybe if he could just release some tension, he’d finally figure out how to finish the song. And maybe, just maybe, his baby wouldn’t be opposed to helping him out a bit. 

Hongjoong propped his phone up against his monitor and hit the call icon next to your name, biting into his chapped bottom lip, feeling more and more like a pervert the longer he listened to the dial tone drone on, figuring you were probably just trying to get a good night’s rest. And, here he was, trying to get his nut off. “Goddamn it,” he mumbled to himself, resting his head in his hand just as his phone made a familiar chirping sound. It was then that your sleepy voice rang out through the phone speaker.

“Hey, how’s my baby doing?” You smiled at the sight of your slightly disheveled boyfriend on your bright phone screen, kicking off your warm covers. “Are you making sick beats?” 

“The sickest,” Hongjoong replied softly, his lips curling up into a feline-like smile, his tired eyes sparkling at the sight of you. “I’m good now that I’m seeing your pretty face. I missed you today.” 

“I missed you too, Joongie.” You rolled onto your side in your regretfully empty bed, resting your phone against the edge of your pillow, one of your loose tank top straps sliding down your shoulder. “Still in the studio, huh?” You pouted at your boyfriend, batting your eyelashes. “Why aren’t you at home yet? In bed with me?” 

Hongjoong gulped, unconsciously wetting his lips with his tongue, trying not to fixate on the way your tits were squished together, your tank top barely concealing what was hidden underneath. “I wish I was in bed with you right now…so bad…I, actually, couldn’t stop thinking about you before I called. I couldn’t concentrate on my music.” 

You giggled softly, knowing him well enough to know why he was having a hard time keeping eye contact with you, pressing your tits together just a little more, watching your boyfriend’s mouth open slightly. “Oh, so it’s my fault you couldn’t concentrate, huh? Should I take responsibility, Joongie?” 

Hongjoong squeezed his ringed fingers into one of his thighs, biting back the groan he wanted to let out. His baby was always such a tease. It pained him that he couldn’t be there with you physically to tease you back in the way he wanted, knowing he would have you flushed, soaked, and begging for him to be inside you. For now, he would have to make the most of this late night facetime call. 

“You should, babygirl. You’re always so naughty for me when I’m home, always making me think dirty things when I’m in the studio. Just look at what you’ve done to me,” Hongjoong answered huskily, slowly leaning back against his computer chair, allowing you to see the way his stiff cock was pressing into the thin material of his joggers. He squeezed around the base of it, jerking himself off in an agonizingly slow manner, knowing it would drive you insane. “Mm, make it up to Joongie, yeah? Take your tits out.” 

As you obediently tugged your top down and allowed your tits to spill out, much to Hongjoong’s satisfaction, he tugged his leaking cock free from its confines, causing you to begin to drool almost as if on command, having to swallow it all down to keep it from spilling out, wishing your boyfriend was on the bed next to you so that his heavy cock could plug up your throat. For now, you would have to settle for watching him touch himself on your phone screen. “Now what, Joongie?” you asked, bringing your free hand up to your tits to grope and squeeze at them. 

“S-suck on them…” he requested perversely, a bead of sweat dripping along his temple. 

Propping your phone against one of your plushies, you brought both of your hands to the undersides of your tits, slowly bringing them up near your mouth. “Joongie’s a little pervert, huh? Wanting to watch his baby suck on her own tits like this….” 

“I-i am…wanna see you be naughty for me…” Hongjoong blushed heavily, pulling at the strings of his hoodie in an act to conceal himself, his dilated eyes still focused solely on you, his hand squeezed tight around the base of his cock, feeling it throb persistently. 

Humming, you brought one of them to your mouth, idly licking around and over your nipple until it hardened against your tongue, sucking it into your warm mouth and moaning, before giving your other tit the same treatment, occasionally looking up at your boyfriend with hazy, half-closed eyes, wishing your wetness was leaking out around his moving cock, instead of soaking into your panties. “Baby…stop for a second…” you whispered, squeezing your thighs together. 

“Yes, princess,” Hongjoong obeyed breathily, taking his hand off of his length and instead grabbing at his thigh, his stiff cock twitching upwards like it had a mind of its own, sticky pre-cum pooling from his tip and dripping down the side. It looked like he was going to bust at any given second. 

Licking your lips at Hongjoong’s pitiful state, you sat up on the bed and faced your phone, opening your slick covered thighs, pulling your panties to the side and spreading yourself open to show your boyfriend the way your pretty pink hole fluttered around nothing.  “Can you please fuck me? I’m so empty, I wanna cry…” 

“Oh my godddd, baby,” Hongjoong groaned, watching closely as you rubbed your fingers over your cunt, able to hear just how incredibly wet you were for him, eventually tugging his hood off of his head and running his fingers through his hair, gripping it for a second to keep himself from tweaking. “I wish I could fuck you dumb right now…You have no idea how bad I wanna fill you up…” 

“Guess I’ll have to get the job done myself until you get home, huh?” you sighed playfully, just as you easily slipped two fingers inside yourself up to the knuckles, adding a third because you could, before fucking them in and out of you, the obscenely wet sounds your cunt made each time sending Hongjoong into a deeper state of need. “J-joongie, please cum inside me…I need it…”

Letting out a whimper, Hongjoong resumed his desperate act of self pleasure, quickly collecting his abundant pre-cum to slick up his twitching cock each time his closed fist moved near the shiny, red tip. “Gonna cum, baby, gonna cum so hard for you…” 

Keeping your eyes locked on your boyfriend’s half-lidded ones, you quickened your pace, your fingers beginning to cramp, curling them up just enough to pound them into your g-spot, causing your gasps to turn into whiny moans, a few tears starting to spill from your eyes, similar to the arousal that was spilling out of your pulsing cunt. “I’m cumming, Joongie, fuck– Fill me up, please, please, please…!” 

Hongjoong threw himself back into his chair, emitting a few soundless moans, before he began to let out one long groan, desperately bucking up into his closed fist, until a stream of milky, white liquid shot out.  “Fuck, I’m gonna knock you up, princess….There’s so much…” he sighed out, tossing his head back, milking his aching cock with a shaky hand, a few beads of cum spilling out onto his skin. 

The both of you grew quiet as you came down from your highs, simply panting and trying to catch your breath, still gazing at one another through your phone screens. 

You picked up your phone and brought it closer to your face, batting your lashes at him once again, whispering, “You better finish up that song and get your ass home, Joong. As much as I love watching you make a mess of yourself, that wasn’t nearly enough for me.” 

After practically melting into his chair, Hongjoong sat up and nodded his head obediently, biting his lip at the implication that the both of you would be going at it all night. He pushed some of his sweaty hair back just to let it fall into his now narrowing eyes, making sure you were looking at him when he guaranteed, “I’ll be sure to ruin you later, princess. Wait up for me, yeah?”   

Apply for the taglist here ⇢ ♡

tags: @dazzlinglight @thefinerthingz3 @cosmiczen @choerryge @arusio @ethicalz @jinsonaz @kitty4hwa @purplechannie @jazzymoore @kodzukein @asjkdk @chanst1ddies @createyour0wnworld @roarmingi @simeonswhore @k0rean-big-mini0n @bls-luv-me @igotlockedout @fl0r4f4wn @miriamxsworld @woosmaid @kawaiikels @azcon @allofuswantgwinam @breezy-simp @eastleighsblog @singularity777 @san-realblkwife @kawennote09 @feuille-et-pain @slut4hwa @owjohny @hijeongguk @lilramennoodle @leo-seonghwa @staytinydegenerate @greenymar @8tinytings @baguette-atiny @lvnderhazes @knucklesdeepmingi @soobiverse @jeongwangjessmina @ja3hwa @actuallyalien @aggiebackstage @doom-fics @koalakoala8 @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna

© kitten4sannie, 2024.

[luvismenu]

stream #04 — underwater

(smau + written chap) ,, pause or play ,, JJK — series m.list

warnings: wet. like, literally wet. cutie moments, flashbacks.

“alright, chat, see you in the next stream,” jungkook says with a grin, waving at the camera before ending the stream.

as soon as the stream is off, you start helping him clean up while he grabs a towel to dry himself off.

you were a little worried when he told you he’d be streaming in his pool today. showing tricks and swimming around sounded fun, but you couldn’t help but stress about how long his streams usually last—being underwater for extended periods couldn’t be good for him. thankfully, though, he wrapped it up earlier than usual.

you’re glad he’s more aware of himself.

“the weather was perfect today, wasn’t it? made for a great stream,” he says cheerfully, shaking his head, water droplets scattering everywhere.

you laugh softly as you carefully walk over, mindful of the slippery, wet floor. “here, let me help,” you say, reaching for his towel.

he lowers his head for you with a little smile, letting you dry his hair.

you’re in your usual clothes, a white shirt and jeans and he’s just in his swim shorts, but this isn’t anything new— you’ve seen him like this plenty of times before.

but for jungkook, this feels different.

his heart is pounding. every time he tries to show you his manly side (as he calls it) it’s like his thoughts spiral. he knows he’s doing too much, but he can’t help it. he just hopes you’ll see him differently… feel something, anything, for him.

“jji…” he mutters softly, barely audible.

you pause, your hands still in his hair, but you don’t pull away. “what is it?” you ask, your voice equally soft as you meet his gaze.

he tilts his head up, slowly straightening to his full height, towering over you now. your hands lower slightly, following the movement of his head, and you notice him reach for your wrist, holding it gently.

you blink, a little confused. “what?” you whisper, the proximity making your heart skip slightly.

he swallows, his eyes searching yours nervously.

“you look pretty,” he finally says, his voice quiet but steady.

your breath catches, and you stare at him, processing his words.

“huh?” you reply, caught off guard.

compliments from jungkook aren’t unusual. he’s always been sweet. but this… this feels different. his tone, the look in his eyes, the way he’s standing so close— it all feels heavier, more meaningful. you can feel your face heat up, and for a second, you can’t seem to find the right words.

his lips twitch into a slight smile when he sees you blinking rapidly, clearly caught off guard.

“i said you look pretty,” he repeats, voice quieter this time as he gently lowers your hand, his fingers still wrapped around your wrist.

“oh. thanks,” you murmur, clearing your throat in an attempt to compose yourself. “lunch?” you quickly ask, hoping to steer the moment away from the sudden shift in energy.

he doesn’t step back, and the proximity feels heavier now. this sort of closeness isn’t new—it’s happened countless times before—but it felt different ever since jungkook started his whole “i’m a grown man now” thing.

you think it began after your breakup with your ex, a few months ago. it wasn’t messy, just two people realizing they weren’t meant to be. it was fine, really. still, you’d had your moments of sadness, and jungkook had been there for all of it, comforting you in his own way.

but somewhere along the line, he started slipping in comments like, “it’s okay, jji. you can lean on me. i’m a grown man now.” it had made you laugh at first— you didn’t think he was serious. but the more time passed, the more you realized he was indeed, serious.

and you don’t know what to do with that.

“yeah…” he mutters, barely audible, but his gaze doesn’t falter. he keeps looking at you, and you find yourself unable to look away.

then, his hand shifts, his fingers intertwining with yours. you snap out of your thoughts, your brows knitting together as you notice him leaning closer.

your breath catches, and before you can think, you flinch and instinctively step back— unfortunately, towards the pool.

“oh—”

the slippery floor doesn’t give you a chance. you stumble, yelping as you lose balance. your grip on jungkook’s hand tightens as you fall, and his eyes widen in alarm.

it all happens too quickly.

your body hits the water with a splash, the cold instantly shocking your senses. jungkook's grip on your hand slips and he drops to one knee at the edge of the pool, his eyes wide with panic.

“jji !! are you okay?” jungkook asks, his voice louder than usual as it cuts through the sound of splashing water.

you blink up at him, soaked and disoriented, water dripping from your hair and face. with a heavy sigh, you mutter flatly, “jungkook.”

his lips twitch, and you can see him trying to suppress a laugh. “it’s not my fault!” he says defensively.

“you— you scared me!” you snap, grabbing the edge of the pool to pull yourself out.

“what did i do?” he argues, kneeling fully to help you.

“ugh, nothing,” you grumble as you accept his help. with his grip, you manage to haul yourself out of the pool, but now you’re completely drenched. your clothes stick to you uncomfortably, and you can already feel the chill settling in.

“well,” he says, glancing at you, “at least you’ve got extra clothes here and..”

but then his words trail off. he stops moving entirely.

you look at him, confused by his sudden silence, until you realize—

oh shit.

your soaked white shirt has turned almost transparent, clinging to your skin and revealing the light pink bra underneath. jungkook’s eyes widen for a split second before his cheeks flush bright red. his head jerks up so quickly it startles you.

“uh—” he stammers, now looking everywhere but at you, “the t-towel!”

your head snaps to the towel lying forgotten on the floor. you grab it immediately, wrapping it around yourself as fast as you can.

“i-i’m gonna go change,” you say, your voice shaky as you clutch the towel tightly.

he’s still turned away, fidgeting as he stares into the void, anywhere except you. “yeah, yep, sure, you know the way!” he rambles, his words tumbling out so fast they almost don’t make sense.

despite the awkwardness, you can’t help the small smile tugging at your lips.

he’s flustered.

so flustered that it’s kind of.. cute.

“jagi, can you also get the tomato sauce? i think we need more,” your mom says into her phone, distracted as she talks to your dad. she looks a little frustrated, glancing between the ingredients for lunch and you playing on the floor with jungkook. his little hands clap excitedly as you build a colorful fort with play blocks.

“aish, jagi, no, not that one! you know, the one with—” her voice fades into the background, leaving just you and jungkook surrounded by his tiny giggles.

“jajji !” he exclaims, pointing at you with a big smile.

you giggle back, his happiness contagious. you gently take his small hands in yours, your slightly bigger hands wrapping around his.

“my dad is my mommy’s jagi,” you explain, smiling at him. “just like my mommy is my dad’s jagi.”

“eomma?” he asks, his head tilting as he refers to his mom.

“yes! your eomma is your appa’s jagi, and your appa is eomma’s jagi,” you say with confidence, proud of your explanation.

“jajji !!” he repeats, laughing at the word, his laugh light and full of joy.

at that time, he was new to the neighborhood. his family had moved in not long ago, but the two of you got along so well that he was already spending afternoons at your place for playdates.

“no, jungkook,” you say sweetly, pointing at your mouth to enunciate the word clearly. “ja-gi.”

he blinks at you, his little head tilting again as he tries to understand. after a moment, his eyes light up like he’s figured out something big.

“jji !!” he exclaims, clapping his hands again.

you burst into laughter. “jji?!”

“you,” he points at you, his grin so wide it shows his tiny teeth. then he points at himself and says proudly, “my jji.”

your face brightens with joy.

“and you,” you say, pointing back at him with equal excitement, “my jji.”

you smile as your eyes settle on a picture frame of a seven-year-old you with a three-year-old jungkook perched on your lap. his tiny arms are wrapped around you, his grin showing his little bunny teeth. your hands are loosely holding him, and your expression is full of joy. you wrap your arms around yourself now, standing in front of his wall of memories, each photo telling a story.

there’s his kindergarten graduation, his middle school soccer team, and his high school prom; with you beside him because he refused to take a date, saying he’d be just fine as long as you could make it somehow. (more like insisted you), and you did— showing up near the end of the prom, and you still remember the way his entire face lit up when he saw you there.

photos of him winning trophies and awards, moments that document every stage of his life, and in almost all of them, you’re right there beside him. you trace the edge of one of the frames lightly—the one with him on your lap—with your fingers, a small smile playing on your lips.

“figured it out jji !” jungkook's voice calls out, breaking your thoughts. you turn to see him walking out of the kitchen, a wooden spoon in one hand, looking triumphant. “i forgot to add sesame oil.”

you chuckle, watching him as he scratches the back of his head sheepishly. he's fully refreshed now after his shower, and you’re wearing the fresh clothes you grabbed after your own dive into the pool.

“need any help?” you ask, tilting your head.

“nope! the only thing i need you to do is eat,” he says, flashing a grin before disappearing back into the kitchen.

you can’t help but smile again. the strange tension from earlier, the moment by the pool, it feels like a distant memory now. right now, it’s just jungkook; your jungkook. the boy who grew up with you, who you’ve always been able to depend on. there’s nothing to overthink, nothing to worry about.

he's just your jji.

next chappie at 120 notes !!

a/n: ive got the plot already written in my notes but it takes time to fully write & execute it ,, pls forgive me for the slow updates 😣

💌 series taglist: @milkk1400 @dna-black-and-blue @vrsltz @jkvamp @dieforkoo @myjungkookthighs

💌 permanent taglist: @annyeongbitch7 @internetrando64 @jkvias @lovieku @deluluisdasolulu @ddanasjk @onlyforyoukook @diamondjeon @nnybtitts08 @lil0u0 @butnotmontana @fr0ggieth1nk @minimoninini @whoa-jo @lola75111 @jaytheatiny @iswearimover5feetall @rispwr @genevieveeeee @thvgukk

@134340-kr @mar-lo-pap @fluttershypoo @kyuupii @https-mei @elinaki92 @jungkookmyoneandonlybaby @hoseokteardrop @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @jaykay-world @jmscaffeine @libra04 @beigerin @nikidream24 @svnbangtansworld @mimi1097 @kookoo-kachoo @junecat18 @iheartchanelle @rrosiitas @jjeonjjk7 @remgeolli @ty-moy-ya-tvoy @rpwprpwprpwprw

[mercyk1ll3r]

Bats and Axes

Pairing; Ticci toby x proxy!femreader

Summary; a couple months after becoming a proxy, a strange boy sparks your interest.

Warnings; slightly graphic violence, psychopathic reader, not much for first chap tbh.

Wc; 1k+

Credits; axe & bone header - menschenopfer, blood dividers - bucciniexe, caution tape - cafekitsune.

a/n; this will most likely be a multiple part series if you guys r interested in reading it :3 (lowercase intended, idgaf about grammer if i'm writing for fun)

"kill them" the voice pounded in your head, sending shivers down your body and tingling in all your limbs. causing you to grip you head and shake violently at the slightest thought of disobeying.

you could feel his presence engulf and fog your brain, making you nothing but a zombie, a puppet to him. your legs move before you can process. the tingling not ceasing, you can hardly feel your body or collect your thoughts. just a fog as you try to get a hold of yourself or form a coherent thought other then killing.

unsurprisingly your legs take you bolting towards the couple walking a little too closely for comfort near slenderman's mansion, swinging your bat ruthlessly into the woman's face. screams erupting from the both of them, in one of the most pure animalistic sounds humans can create, the sound of pure terror, you cant help but let a smile creep onto your face. this was your favorite part of your job.

you limp your way back to the mansion, now covered in blood and completely exhausted, atleast taking the time to dip your metal bat into the nearby stream.

finally arriving back in your bedroom and stripping off your ruined clothing that reek of death and changing into fresh ones, you crash into your bed. shaking slightly from all the adrenaline still pumping through your body.

you shoot up still on edge as u hear a knock on your door, "cmon y/n you left you leftovers outside, when will you learn to clean up after yourself?" sighing with annoyance you open your door, meeting eyes with ben. he was always fucking bothering you about something, yet he was still one of your best friends, you cant be too picky around here and you guys shared some interests. "wasn't me ben sorry." you say sighing and returning to the comfort of your bed, your body still aching.

"which other proxy kills people by completely bashing their faces in?" u turn around to face him with a defeated expressed, "okay fine it was me, can't i just leave it for EJ?" he just looks at you with that insufferable expression he always does "okay fine i'll go, i'll go!"

wandering back outside the mansion you set your course for the couples mangled bodies, as you reach the area you see a boy you don't recognize. he stands above the bodies seemingly just inspecting them, you grip you bat a bit tighter as you inch closer. "thi-iss your handywork?" as he speaks he turns up to look at you, granting you a better look at his face, seemingly unaffected by your presence, he must be a proxy.

"uhm.. yeah, i was coming to get the bodies." this boy unnerved you, sickly grey skin and a metal cage mask around his mouth showing very little of his mouth, two hatchets hanging low on his hips. "you must be.." his breathy and hoarse voice interrupted by his neck jerking violently to the side. "be a n-new proxy then"

you weren't exactly new, although it was hard to tell. memories of your old life becoming cloudy and harder to recall each day that passed, it had atleast been a couple months though. "new enough not to have met you i guess.." he tilts his head at you stepping over the bodies until there was an uncomfortable lack of distance between you two, what the fuck was this guys problem?

he scans your face seemingly as you meet his brown eyes, pupils blown wide and crazy, before he glanced down to your metal baseball bat. "i'm toby, i'm sure w-we'll be seeing eachother ah-around" he stares blanky at your face waiting for your reaction as he towered over you. "y/n" is all u say as he gives you a slight nod and steps past you, heading in the direction of the mansion.

there was something about this guy.. he was kinda creepy but something about him made you replay the moment over and over again, thinking of his wild eyes staring down at you. you try to shake off the weird interaction and step forward to the bloodied bodies.

"oh yeah, i think toby's back now, he was off on an assignment for a couple months." ben spoke as he continued mashing his controller buttons. he insisted you come over and play mario kart with him after he finally got his hands on a copy. "yeah i met him earlier.. what's his deal? he kinda freaks me out."

"do you remember that huge fire in that happened a couple years ago in the suburbs? totally whipped out the entire neighborhood, killed most of the people inside the houses too."

"oh yeah.. some girl who was in my math class died, she was all my school was talking about for weeks, endless assemblies and memorials." you surprise yourself with the words coming out of your mouth, the memory fleeting and fuzzy.

"well that was toby, killed his dad and set his house on fire. one time i saw him without a shirt on, he's got a bunch or gnarly burn scars.." ben seemed a little sad as he spoke which was odd because he rarely had any type of sympathy for anyone.

"that's pretty brutal.." is really all you can muster, you don't know what else to say. every proxy has their hands dirty with blood after all.

"ben oh-open up-pp!" you jump a little as you hear someone pounding on the door. "dude chill out, i'm coming." ben rises from his nest of pillows and blankets in front of his shitty old tv and lazily walks to the door.

"hey man, it's been a while." you can barely see who's outside the door, but you already recognize his raspy stutter. "ca-nnn i use your comm-computer?" "uhm yeah i guess, for what?" "for uhh.." he trails off as he seemingly notices your presence, eyes going slightly wide with a flustered expression on his face as you lock eyes.

"uhm nevermind i-i don't need it." he says bringing his eyes back to ben's face before hurrying off in the other direction leaving ben at his open door.

ben closes his door and returns to sitting beside you, "what the fuck was that? he's being so weird, well i mean, weirder then usual." he speaks annoyed before unpausing his game.

a/n: hey guys!! sorry this was short and ended kinda abruptly, i've been having bad writers block completing this -__- but regardless i hope u enjoyed. i'm super excited to continue this story and i already have future chapters planned, (probably gonna be a slowburn sorry guys)

[shiningjustforreid]

aura

where Spencer Reid meets someone who shares his pain - if only for a bit.

word count: 1774

a/n: hi! this is my very first published fic (even though i’ve read for years!) and it’s nothing major, but i thought it would be fun to finally write! i hope you enjoy <3

warnings/tags: 18+ (implied intimacy), migraine-era spencer reid, reader has migraines, reader is called ‘girl’ once, heavy themes at the end, spencer rambles about stars, hospitals, spencer calls reader ‘angel’, no use of y/n

- ✩ -

Hospitals may be one of his least favorite places.

“Did you know that actually on any given day 1 in 31 people in a hospital have a hospital induced infection? these include things like a surgical site infection, MRSA,”

Cue the smell of the antiseptic, drowning out the smell of people dying. It’s too clean.

Makes him on edge. But then again, most things do. When people give him that look that clearly says ‘shut up.’ He seems to pull in darkness, trouble, and maybe it’s because he creates it for himself.

Currently, he’s sat, in one of those uncomfortable hospital benches, foot tapping anxiously, sunglasses on, because everything hurts. Notably, his head and eyes.

The lights. The lights build a nausea in him that’s like a tidal wave, build an agony behind his eyes that threatens to reduce his thought process to ash. He still squints, behind the black plastic; it’s not enough, not enough to quell the pain entirely.

“No, I’m, about to go in, actually.”

Is what he should’ve said. But Spencer Reid, a forward man, an eloquent man, is not.

“Can I sit here?”

Quiet, but polite. He makes the mistake of looking up. Your hair is messy, probably from the wind outside, and tucked away from your face. The coat you have on is a deep admiral blue, and it just makes the lack of color in your face all the more apparent. A green bag, slung on your shoulder, as you fiddle with the zipper. Chapped lips form into a halfway smile, and, most noteworthy of all, you have black, plastic glasses on.

“I have an appointment, it’s probably, it’s right after yours, but if I can’t sit here, it’s okay, I-“

You’re backtracking, which means you’re nervous, probably because he’s just been looking at you with an impassive expression, even more unreadable due to the glasses. He clears his throat, and opens his mouth.

“No, um, actually I’m waiting. Hopefully not much longer though.”

God help him, because there’s a shared struggle here, between the two of you. He sees it, in your tense shoulders, the way you sit down slowly, as to not generate any more pain than necessary, the way your hands tremble like leaves in the wind when you adjust your glasses after slowly turning to him. Your halfway smile stays put, though, even through the slow movements.

You move like that, because every movement seems to intensify the burning hot behind your skull.

He knows. He doesn’t know you. Not at all.

But he knows your pain. And maybe that’s enough.

You don’t nod, because it’s unnecessary movement.

“Yeah, I finally gave in and booked an appointment. I’ve had to call out of work for them at least 3 times in the last two weeks.”

Them. The migraines. You don’t need to name them, you both just know. You’re clearly both there for a reason.

“I’m uh, Spencer, by the way. I’ve had mine for a bit now too.”

You tell him your name, and the sound makes a welcome warmth flood through his chest. A star, tiny, but burning, is born. Gravity in his chest, tugging you in, as your heat floods his heart.

Bad idea, bad idea - the alarm bells are clanging. He doesn’t know how sick he is, and he really doesn’t know how sick you are. This could spell disaster, and yet-

He’s intrigued. You radiate this nervousness, a distinct desire to be understood, seen, known. He knows that desire. He has that desire. He wants to know you.

“I think mine might just be due to stress, but, I don’t know. It’s the easiest explanation to deal with.”

For your sake, he hopes that’s all they are. Stress.

And, you’re still sitting there, head bowed, when the nurse comes out and asks questions.

She asks about hallucinations. As if this hell is all in his head. You sit there, silent, biting your lip, worrying the cracked skin in your teeth, your hands picking at the fraying edge of your coat.

When he comes back out, somehow even more tired, even though all he did was lie there and answer some questions, he speaks your name, softly.

As if he has the right to.

You jump a little, look up, and remove your glasses. He stares, he can’t help it. Visible, is the pain, the way your ocular muscles are tense, your skin without color, but you smile, still.

He makes you smile.

“Everything okay?”

Spencer nods hurriedly.

“Fine, for now, I have to get to work. You uh-you’re next?”

“Mhm. Will I—is there any chance I’ll see you again, Spencer?”

You don’t know him. You know him, you must.

“Uh, I mean, I—you want to see me again?”

When will he learn to speak when it actually matters?

“Only if you want to, I-I know I would like to see you again.”

He leaves the hospital, that damn hospital, with a small slip of paper, with ten numbers scrawled in purple ink, and your name below it, a tiny smiley face beside it.

When he gets home from his next case, he fishes that paper out of his messenger bag and types each digit into his cell phone with shaky hands.

Is he tempting fate? Perhaps. But fate answers, your soft voice coming through the phone.

Soon, he finds himself at a café with you, sipping his saccharine sweet coffee and telling you about his job, or some book he just finished, in detail that you don’t seem to protest against. It’s refreshing, really - just to be listened to. To be heard. When you leave, you give him a barely-there kiss on the cheek, a soft goodbye. The star burns brighter.

“I had my follow up appointment.”

He tells you, on the third date, as you two sip coffee once more - are these dates? Would Morgan be impressed? - trying to keep the conversation casual, yet relevant. Your eyes widen with interest.

“And? Did they give you answers?”

He makes a face, shaking his head.

“No. Well, yes, but they told me it’s psychosomatic.”

All in his head.

Your face falls, and you look truly sympathetic.

“I’m sorry, Spencer. I knew how much you didn’t think that to be the case.”

He takes comfort, then, in the way you hug him goodbye, your cheek pressed against the cotton of his cardigan, eyes shut against the light. He tenses, only for a second, before his arms curl around you, resting against your coat.

“We should do dinner.”

He mumbles into your hair, before he can stop himself.

A real date.

And you do. You have dinner, and he makes you laugh, even though it’s quiet, like a bell ringing at Christmas, tiny, joy-filled, and the star in his chest just glows. Your face is tense, though, and he can’t figure out why. You won’t say. either. You never do. You keep your responses composed, and careful, calculated. Like you’re afraid. He wonders why, but won’t press it. You are made of nervous energy. He knows this now.

A few months, of appointments for both of you and cases for him where he aches for your hand in his and coffee and dinner and museum dates, and one ice skating excursion he will not mention, and then—

He makes another mistake then, when he asks you to come over, after a case.

“Just for coffee, or to talk, not to-you know, unless that’s what you want, I—“

Yet, that’s how he ends up with you in his bed, in his lap, your warm hands sliding over his skin like you’re in awe, your wide eyes meeting his own, because he dimmed the lights, and thank God neither of you are hurting right now.

He takes you apart, piece by piece, with his mouth on your collarbone and fingers across your ribs, learning, seeking to know. Because that’s what he wants, to know you, fully, in every way he can, until there’s nothing left for him to study.

After he watches you tremble under him, with his name on your lips, he realizes he’ll never be able to memorize all of you. You’re too extensive, with the blush on your cheeks and the way you cling to him and the way your eyes sparkle for a moment, just a moment, before they dim again.

You’re tucked into him, under his chin, as he traces shapes mindlessly into your back with his fingertips. He feels that star, burning bright in your arms, for millennia to come.

“I love you.”

You smile against his chest, before you speak again, choked up.

“You shouldn’t.”

“Whyever not, angel girl?”

Because you are like an angel, come down from the heavens, his angel, gracing his life during some of the most incredible pain he’s ever felt.

“They told me I’m dying. They found the source of it all.”

And the star fizzles, and sparks, and slowly, a cold ice begins to dwell where the star was. Months fly by, and yet drag, each day feeling long but the weeks short.

He finds himself in the hospital - miraculously, his migraines have given him respite today - your hand in his, his eyes on you. You don’t say much, you never did, but now, he feels like you don’t ever speak at all.

Until you do.

“Spence?”

The light in his chest flickers, illuminating his darkness.

“Yes, angel?”

“Can you talk? About anything? I just wanna hear you.”

He nods, and his voice gets quiet, almost breathless, the longer he speaks.

“Did you know that stars actually are simultaneously pulling apart and being pushed together? The heat from inside the star creates a pressure that causes the atoms to separate, but the gravity attraction forces them back together, as it burns. The bigger a star is though, the less time it takes to go through that fuel.”

He stops, looking down at you. He wonders if you’re listening.

“But when the heat is gone, when it stops burning, there’s nothing to counteract the gravitational pull, and—“

And it collapses in on itself.

“And it just sort of sucks everything else in without its heat, the light, if it’s large enough. Pulling everything in, everyone in-“

He’s said too much. You open your eyes, your voice barely a whisper.

“I don’t want you to do that. You won’t, Spencer, I swear.”

In a rare moment of strength, you tug yourself up, to hold his face in one hand.

“You burned before me. You’ll burn again.”

He nods, desperately trying not to weep.

But I won’t burn like I did with you.

“The brightest stars burn the fastest, so we must love them while we can.”

- Anna Todd

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

PLS IF U CAN pls make a ego one. Ego was working and ur his favorite assistant but he doesn’t show it, he was tired today you could notice as you stared at him before noticing his eye lids closing and re opening “ego how much sleep did you get?” You asked before hearing silence come at you as you sighed grabbing his head and shoving it into your chest for a nice pillow (in conclusion he’s tired and you let him sleep on ur chest :) PLS

Ego Jinpachi - Forcing Him to Take a Nap

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Here ya go anon! I'll be honest and say that I'm not too proud of this one, but this is the fifth rewrite so you're going to have to pity me and accept it. —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

💤•♡•💤•♡•💤•♡•💤•♡•💤•♡•💤•♡•💤•♡•💤

It wasn't all that busy today.

Ego had strangely given the participants of BlueLock only light exercises in the morning and gave them the rest of the day to themselves to use for free time. It was rather… nice of him— not that he's incapable of being nice of course. That action in itself clued [Name] in that something was a bit off with their boss. 

The bespectacled man had been a lot more lenient and patient with them even when they'd teased him. He didn't get annoyed with or say any sparky comments to Anri when she said something that he viewed as uninformed. He didn't complain when [Name] had accidentally purchased him the wrong take-out and just ate it in silence after giving them a soft sigh. Hell, he had hardly said anything at all, just communicating through quiet hums and sluggish nods. 

In the quiet of his office, Ego groaned as he massaged his temple with his middle and index fingers. Reclining in his gaming chair, he closes his eyes for a bit, hiding them from the blaring lights of the wall of monitors in front of him. His head was pounding with a migraine that had built up over the 46 total hours; drawing a pained groan from his chapped lips.

“How long has it been?”

Their question flew over his head at first; his brain was slow to process the fact that they had spoken at all. His droopy eyes continued to focus on the training regimens that he was looking over on the laptop in front of him. Only when he felt their hands gently squeeze his shoulders did he fully register that they were even behind him. Their nimble fingers massaged the aching muscles along his shoulders and neck as they seemingly awaited his response.

“...Mm?”  

Ego hummed sleepily; body going nearly completely limp as he relaxed under their touch.

A sigh was heard from behind him before he felt his head being tipped back and their face entered his field of vision. With their hand clasped firmly under his jaw, they repeated their question. However, it seemed as though the bespectacled man was so dazed from his lack of sleep that he didn't bother to answer the question. [Name] sighed once again, gently releasing their boss's head and spinning the chair around to have him face them.

“C'mon Eggy, let's move to the sofa so you can have some sleep, okay? I'll finish everything up.”  

They softly cooed to him as they helped the man out of his office chair and dragged him to the sofa that was sat off to the side of the room.

Plopping Ego down onto the sofa, [Name] quickly grabbed the laptop up from the desk and returned to their boss. Sitting down beside him, they looked over the information displayed on the device's screen before reaching over and pulling the drowsy man's head to their chest. He tensed at first, not expecting the contact before relaxing and snuggling his head further into them.

As he got comfortable, Ego heard them chuckle but before he could bite out a snarky retort, the sensation of fingers running through his short locks had it dying down in his throat. He could hardly keep his eyes open anymore. He didn't know why he continued to fight the shutting of his eyes; perhaps it was to spite them. But as his eyes finally shut he heard them whisper:

“Have a nice rest, Jinpachi. I'll make you something to eat when you wake up.”  

💤•♡•💤•♡•💤•♡•💤•♡•💤•♡•💤•♡•💤•♡•💤

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Reblogs are appreciated ~ 𔓘

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[asapeveryday]

The Last Time Pt3

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader

Warnings: Brief Smut (Fingering), miscommunication

Summary: Paige’s teammates realize you might’ve been more then just casual.

You search for a way to see Paige again, reminiscing on a past night in the process.

A/n: I added some smut to make this filler a bit bearable. Next chap is the last!! It’s gonna be good!!

MINORS DNI BEYOND CUT

The UConn women’s basketball team was currently sprawled out on the gym floor, faces sweaty, water bottles in hand and shirts lifted in hopes of making contact with the cold floor. It had been a rough practice for everyone, but especially Paige. It had been almost a month since she had ended things with you and she felt out of balance, her mind would say one thing and her body would do the other. She was never uncoordinated, but her distraction had caused the team to do one too many laps across the gym as punishment.

“Paige, do you need pussy to function?” KK says out of the blue, causing the group to give each other looks.

“My guy, what??” Paige shoots up from her position on the floor and squirts water from her Gatorade bottle onto the freshmen.

KK laughs. “Hey, that’s actually refreshing! Plus I was just wondering, I mean you ghost one girl and suddenly you forget how to play ball.”

Now Nika shoots up. “Paige?? You ghosted that girl?”

“Who, the one who never texted first?” Aaliyah chimes in.

“I didn’t ghost her guys.” Paige sighs

“Did you tell her in person? Or did you text and never get a response back.” Azzi rolls her eyes.

“I actually um, went to her dorm.” Paige reluctantly says, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Oh my word, you met up to fuck and then ended it there? That’s wild.” KK tuts, sharing a look with Aaliyah.

Nika shakes her head in disappointment. “If it weren’t for the texting thing I would’ve expected you guys to get together already.”

“Why would they, weren’t they just having like, casual sex? Aaliyah asked.

Paige was now extremely uncomfortable with the girls knowing all her business, even though it was her fault for telling them all. She just wanted to stop hearing the word ‘sex’ coming out of everyone’s mouth.

“Aye, chill. You guys wanna head out orr..” She tries to change the subject.

“It didn’t seem THAT casual.” Nika shrugged, surprised at how nobody seemed aware about what she was about to say.

“I mean, did you guys not see Paige driving the girl around half the time after practice?

The group is silent.

“Or how Paige has been sleeping over at the same person’s dorm, like we don’t all have her location? Since when does she spend the night at the same girl’s dorm? Doesn’t seem casual.”

Paige can feel herself sweating. She hadn’t gone through great lengths to hide you from her teammates, in fact it seemed that she focused more energy on hiding her feelings from herself. It felt weird to no longer look forward to seeing you, to hearing your voice and anticipating your curiosity. Paige found you so enticing, constantly wanting to know more about her, to know her deeper than she knew herself. She understood why you were so smart, you had a thirst to know a topic like the back of your hand, and it felt good that at least once every week that topic was herself.

Still, she was not expecting Nika to catch on.

“They was bound to know at some point, P.” Azzi chuckles, clapping Paige’s back.

KK gives an incredulous look. “WHAT! Azzi you knew?”

“Of course I knew. I mean Paige never really tried to hide it, but it was a little obvious.” Azzi says, high-fiving Nika.

The group is quiet for a bit, all looking at Paige who’s rubbing her forehead and avoiding eye contact.

“So Paige actually likes this girl and now they’re for sure not talking.” Ines states.

“Basically.” Paige sighs.

“You’ll get her back, or you’ll get another.” Aaliyah shrugs, finally getting up. “In the meantime, try not to bring us down on the court with your pussy problems.” She smirks.

“Shut up!” Paige tries to let out a laugh, getting up as well. The girls all head to the change rooms, chatting with each other. Azzi keeps an eye on Paige, who’s lost in her own thoughts.

“Did you use the basketball excuse on her?” She asks.

“Huh?”

“Oh you know, the ‘I need to focus on ball right now.’ Type thing. Is that what you told her?”

“Not the first time I’ve used that one.” Paige grumbles. “But yeah, I did. You should’ve seen the look on her face Azz, she wasn’t even mad, shawty looked disappointed or sum.”

Azzi puts an arm around Paige.”Yeah, well with all that time you spend with her she prolly knows you better than that.”

She smiles. “Hopefully this��ll be the last time you have to use that excuse again.”

-

You’re rummaging through your room, peeking into all of your storage spaces, inside shoe boxes, looking for anything Paige might’ve left at your house during your five month hookup period.

Your friend is on FaceTime with you as you search. “I definitely wouldn’t text her now, but if you see her in person she can’t avoid it. Maybe she left something in your room that you can return to her?”

So here you are ripping your tiny room apart for any trace of Paige Bueckers. Hands and knees on the floor, feeling through your carpet, you bend your head down further to look under your bed, and there it is.

TWO MONTHS EARLIER

“Lemme put you on something real quick.” Paige said, taking out a pair of wired headphones from her pocket and placing a bud into your ear. You two had been laying on your bed, staring at the ceiling and talking about music. When her hand brushed against your face to put the earbud in, you almost melted.

The two of you laid together, side by side as Paige’s best R&B playlist played. Jhene Aiko, Drake, Jaquees, Bryson Tiller. Smooth voices floating in your brain, beautiful lyrics with dirty meanings and soul touching instrumentals in the background. Glancing at her phone to see a song, you noticed the title of the playlist was your name. You couldn’t help but climb on top of her and hungrily kiss her lips the moment you felt Paige’s bright blue eyes staring at you, waiting for your reaction to the playlist she made specifically for the time you two shared together.

“Didn’t think my music would make you this horny.” She chuckled in between kisses.

“There’s no way you just made me a playlist without the intentions of getting in my pants.” You smirked, lifting Paige’s shirt over her head and throwing it to the floor, leaving her in just a Nike sports bra and sweatshorts. You could’ve made out with her for hours, skin to skin. The feeling of Paige’s heart beating against your body drove you insane. You loved the way you could feel her breath speed up as you snuck your hand in her pants, and then into her boxers.

“I don’t have to make a playlist to get into your pa-oh.” Paige let out an almost pornographic moan when your fingers entered her, then immediately slapped her hand over her mouth.

Still slowly pumping into her with one hand, you use the other to remove her’s from her face. “I want to hear you for once.” You utter, suddenly embarrassed. Paige seemed to initiate almost everything sexual, and she was rarely beneath you like this. She wasn’t always very vocal, but hearing she was capable of a noise like that and watching as her face flushes at your touch excited you more then the playlist did.

You vividly remember hovering on top of her, earbuds still connected to her phone. You remember taunting her, your breath catching as her moans gradually got louder. The music probably covered the noise of her slick, because you know she was so wet for you, her eyes staring into yours with a rare, almost pouty expression, then clenching shut as she came all over your fingers. You slowly pulled your hand out of her shorts, then licked your fingers clean. Paige watched intently before switching positions with you in a flash.

It was a good night.

PRESENT TIME

Staring at the earbuds tangled up underneath your bed, you could practically feel her hands on you again, like you did that night.

“I found something.” You call out to your phone, gently taking the wired earbuds and untangling them.

“She has a game in a couple days. Maybe you can give it to her then.” Your friend suggests. You feel your stomach pang at the thought of her eyes on yours. You didn’t follow her on social media, and you hadn’t seen her in person since she last came over. If you don’t do this now, you won’t end up seeing her again.

[leejeongz]

first kiss with bonedo please 🪄

🫧 your first kiss with boynextdoor 🫧

pairing: crush!bnd x gn!reader

genre: FLUFF !!!

warnings: reader is vvv shy in some of these, mentions of food (jaehyun, leehan), physical affection

a/n: THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE IM SO IN LOVE i hope you enjoy reading it just as much <3

𓆉 jaehyun

jaehyun tugged at the cross body strap of your bag, “where are you taking this? we’re only going around the block?”

you pulled a face at the boy’s question, “i might pick up some candy from the convenience store. is that alright with you?” you retorted like a grumpy teenager.

jaehyun chuckled and pulled out his wallet, waving it in your face before slipping it back into his pocket. “come on, let’s go before it starts raining again.”

“i’m still taking it though,” you gripped onto the strap, for no other reason than because you felt weird without a bag these days.

“you’re cute, you know that, right?” he smiles. as he looks at you, you feel yourself mellowing under his gaze. despite the fact that you’d liked him since the day you met, him calling you cute never usually had any effect on you, it was a part of his everyday vocabulary. but today, it felt different. you noted his eyes shift from your own to your lips. this wasn’t anything new either. but you never wanted to get ahead of yourself and think it was something that it’s not. you rubbed your fingers over them, they were a little chapped, that’s probably what he was looking at, right?

oh probably not.

jaehyun’s hand guided yours away from your face, replacing it with his own, colder hand on your cheek. before you could fully process what was happening, his lips met with yours. his smile into the kiss didn’t go unnoticed by you, humming in happiness, and, to be honest, a little bit of shock.

jaehyun pulled away in a concerned, almost grunt. “sorry, i should’ve asked, i’m sorry, was that stupid of me? i really thought you liked me back,” he rambled.

“i do!” you exclaimed in a way that shut him up. “i do,” you clarified in a softer tone.

“good,” he nodded, taking your hand and escorting you through the front door of your apartment block. “so when do i get another?”

your morning continued in a similar vein, eventually you did repay the favour of course, but not without a whole lot of puppy eyes.

𓆉 sungho

“this was a good idea,” sungho praised himself, a proud smile on his face as he looked back to the stars after placing his phone on the blanket. he leaned back, his hand slightly brushing yours as he sturdied himself. for the first time ever, you decided to leave your hand where it was. sungho had invited you here, stargazing, it was quite obviously a date, the least you could do was put your shyness aside. you couldn’t stop your hand from fidgeting though. he smiled to himself, bashfulness radiating from your whole being.

“hey, did you just take a picture of me?” you asked, furrowing your brows as you realised what exactly he was doing on his phone.

“so what if i did?” he asked, his head turning to face you, “there’s only 1 thing prettier than the sky right now.” his hand found yours more directly this time, playing with your fingers for a little while, just until you looked at him.

your eyes locked on his, neither of you were planning on looking away anytime soon. you felt almost possessed. you were never the type of person to do this. sungho leaned over and your face edged closer to his. with his weight now on just one of his hands, his other hand was at your cheek, his thumb gently caressing your lobe. he finally shut his eyes, his lips meeting with yours as though it was your reward for winning the imaginary staring competition. you forgot where you were for a moment, not that it mattered. nothing else mattered. just you and him.

he pulled away with a shy, almost silent giggle, and fell back to resting on both hands. you turned in your place and lay back, your head now in his lap.

“i think im gonna sleep here tonight,” you spoke, turning onto your side and taking in the city from the rooftop.

“hmm” sungho hummed as he shuffled in his place. he draped the spare blanket over your body and began to play with your hair. “you can do that, baby, that’s fine by me.”

𓆉 riwoo

seeking comfort, your hand immediately finds your earring, toying with it as you eye the boy watching the movie next to you. riwoo had invited you over to watch something, honestly, you can’t even remember the title, but you said yes anyway, just because it was him. the only trouble was, you couldn’t even concentrate on the movie, you were only looking at him. every so often, he’d glance back at you, looking a little disappointed that you weren’t as engrossed as he was, but secretly, he was so happy to catch you staring. if you weren’t looking at him, he was looking at you, so he was glad to know you felt the same way.

he picked up the remote from the small gap between you and hit pause. “y/n, are you even watching this?” he huffed.

“yes!” you lied. he looked at you and tried to hold his laughter. “sorry, it’s just not really my thing,” you added, your shoulders relaxing finally for the first time that afternoon, “but you can carry on watching, i don’t mind!”

he sighed, “why didn’t you say something? we could’ve watched something else!”

your eyes met and the mood changed immediately. the tv was long forgotten as his eyes drifted to your lips.

“totally random question,” he began, “but can i kiss you?” you tried to not look confused but clearly that wasn’t working. “sorry, i think i read the room completely wrong, forget i ever said that, so stupid,” he rambled, blinking a few times.

you reached for his hand, feeling guilty as you felt it shaking. “that’s not what i meant, i mean, i would like a kiss, yes, but i didn’t expect you to ask, that was all,” your response was just as clunky as his initial question. it was endearing in a way.

riwoo’s face was less than inches away from yours when he spoke again, “so, i can kiss you?” his hand was at your waist, causing you to shudder.

“please,” you encouraged, almost begged at this point.

your lips were so close you could feel him smile, before they met with yours. it was slow, in a good way, you thought, it seemed to last forever, but also not long enough. as he pulled away, you went back for another, it was hungry yet so incredibly innocent at the same time. years of pining lead up to this and so you felt you had to make the most of it. and when you finally pulled away, you took one last small peck at his lips, his hand squeezing at your waist cheekily.

“you’re acting like we haven’t got all the time in the world to kiss more,” he giggled, his head coming to rest against your shoulder.

“well, i didn’t want to waste any,” you admitted, “we have a lot of lost time to make up for!”

𓆉 taesan

“my gosh, when can we get out of here?” taesan asked you discreetly, stretching back on his chair and turning his head to you.

“they’re your friends, taesan,” you laughed, hitting his torso with the back of your hand, causing him to curl into himself.

“don’t forget why you were invited to the function, y/n,” he rolled his eyes, eliciting a laugh from you.

“because you enjoy my company sooo much,” you looked around the crowded room. your voice died down as you realised, that probably isn’t the reason at all. the room was full of the hottest, coolest people you’d ever met, and they all seemed to be close friends with taesan, it was his birthday celebration after all. “i thought you were a party lover, anyway?”

his gaze on you turned less serious, yet for some reason, made your heart beat faster. “well, clearly, you don’t know me well enough.”

“maybe i don’t,” you admit, wishing it wasn’t true. “but they hired out this whole place, shouldn’t you be up there, dancing with them?” you motioned to the crowds of people around the venue.

“i don’t want to right now,” he laughed. you were so unbelievably oblivious, to him, he was making his crush on you very clear. your eyes fixated on a group of pretty girls on the dance floor, an unjustifiable pang of jealousy hitting right where it hurts. his own eyes followed yours to the group. he thought for a moment, analysing what you might be thinking. he could read you like a book. you both turned to each other at the same time, both with your hands guarding your words being seen by any onlookers.

“who’s that girl-“ you started.

“i swear i didn’t even know half of these people-“ he spoke at the same time, managing to get more words out in the same amount of time.

he shook his head with an amused smile, pushing your hand out of the way with his own before placing it on your cheek. he leaned in, wasting not time in pressing his lips against yours. one long kiss and three smaller ones. not that either of you were counting or anything. your lips lingered near his for a moment, waiting for another. but he didn’t give. instead he just laughed.

“if you want more, you’re going to have to wait until we go on a proper date, y/n, i’m a gentleman you know?”

you raised your eyebrows, trying to brush off the embarrassment.

he stretched back on his chair once again as he accidentally caught the attention of one of his friends, who beckoned him to join them. he stood reluctantly, but his stance was inviting you to join him. you stood too and began to walk with him.

“oh, and that girl in the red dress is one of those people that i don’t know. but it’s cute that you’re getting jealous already,” he said with his usual nonchalant attitude, “i’m gonna tell them i’m heading back to the dorms, but i think the river looks really pretty under the moonlight, so let’s make that date happen. wait here, okay?”

𓆉 leehan

leehan turned to find you with your head resting on your arm, which was extended across the table in his kitchen. he wiped his slightly damp hands on his shorts as he turned off the faucet.

“my cooking made you that sleepy?” he said through a shy smile. he took the seat next to you cautiously. this was the first time you’d been alone together at his shared house and it was clearly affecting you both similarly. you wanted to bounce off the walls with excitement, you wanted to kiss his face off, you wanted someone, anyone, to walk through that door, you wanted the ground to swallow you up.

“i didn’t know beef had that taste,” you joked, trying to push away the conflicting feelings. you folded your arm under your head.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he laughed along.

his eyes focused solely on your hand, that you’d just brought closer to him. did you do that on purpose? did you want him to hold it? his hand found yours before he could think about it anymore, his fingers playing with yours which were weightless under his touch.

you, stunned by the sudden physical affection, lifted your head and looked at the boy. his eyes remained on your hand, which was slowly closing around his. “maybe, next time, you could cook for me?” he asked, trying to break the silence.

“maybe,” his eyes finally met with yours as you began to speak, “i’m not sure it would be any better,” you laughed, and he laughed too.

“well, then we’ll have to go out,” a familiar awkwardness filled the room again, “like on a date, if you’d like?”

his eyes searched yours for an answer before you could even respond. you tried your best to look as enthusiastic as possible, after all, there was nothing you wanted more. “i’d like that a lot, actually.” you shyly rested your head on his shoulder, hoping he wouldn’t see how hard you were blushing right now.

he knew you couldn’t see it, but the only way he could respond was with a warm smile. he looked down to you, the dusty pink hue to your cheeks giving him a wave of confidence. he freed his hand from yours and took your chin between his thumb and finger, tilting your head to mirror his own before leaning in.

his lips landed on yours delicately. the kiss was regretfully short considering how long awaited it was by both of you, but it didn’t stop you from enjoying it. it was like you were both sharing the same butterflies in your tummies. for that split second, everything felt right. neither of you wanted to pull away, but shyness forced you both to revert back to ‘reality.’ you both continued to stare into each other’s eyes. both of you seemed to be begging for another, but neither of you quite caught on.

“that was nice,” you admitted. ‘nice’ was certainly an understatement, you thought, as you kicked yourself for even speaking. “sorry, did i just ruin the moment?” you pulled your lips into your mouth, apparently copying leehan’s expression.

he shook his head, beginning to chuckle, “you’re cute.”

𓆉 woonhak

“it’s okay, i’m kinda scared of horror movies anyway,” you laughed, absentmindedly linking arms with woonhak as you left the movie theatre.

the air outside was biting cold. you weren’t exactly dressed for the weather, but woonhak had been kind enough to lend you his jacket. though oversized, the thin layer of corduroy it wasn’t adding much warmth to you, which is why you found yourself clinging to his arm.

“you know, some people may call that an ick,” he laughed with you, “at your big age you can’t handle a bit of scary fiction?” he mimicked, turning to you to make sure that you were finding his teasing funny. “maybe it was a good thing that they sold out, i don’t think i could take you seriously with tears in your eyes!” he added.

“hey,” you hit his arm with your free hand, “i never said i’d cry!”

“nooo,” he walk became more of a sway, taking you with him sillily, “but what i’m trying to say isss,” his words dragged out longer the more he pushed you along the dimly lit walkway, “i think you’d look pretty when you cry, probably.”

the sudden compliment, if you can even call it that, had you rooted to the spot, causing him to do the same. you raised a brow and took your arm from his. he moved to stand opposite you, a smile forming at your confusion. you eyes softened as you dug your hands into the jacket pockets, his phone being the only thing in there.

“shall we take a picture?” you pulled it out and held it up, “one for the scrapbook - the failed movie night!”

you cheesed at the camera, woonhak’s head peeping in just above yours, housing a pouty, kissy face. you hit the centre button at the right time, just as his lips pecked at your temple. you tried your best to ignore it, not because you didn’t enjoy it, but because you didn’t know how to address it.

“for the record, y/n, i think you’re prettier when you’re not crying,” he clarified, “like tonight. and you look so cute in my jacket too.” his hand came to your cheek and pinched it while smiling sweetly. you swooned, unable to take your eyes off his lips. you desperately wanted to know how they felt on yours, even more so after the small kiss he gave you only a few seconds ago.

you didn’t have to wait long to find out. his lips met with yours and your eyes closed instinctively. he pushed against them a little harder before pulling away naturally. “that was okay, right?” he asked, realising he hadn’t even asked before he did that.

you nodded, still unable to put your feelings into words, but almost greedily wanting another. “hey, have you watched gilmore girls?” you asked, the seemingly random question causing woonhak to shake his head in confusion.

“uh i don’t think so,” he took your hand in his and began to walk with no end destination in mind. he looked over to you and looked away again in a split second, your smile making his heart skip a beat.

“great, shall we go back to mine and watch that instead?” you cosied into his side once again.

“anything for you, sweetie,” he chuckled under his breath, unable to quite believe how you already have him wrapped around your little finger.

[thebigbadbatswife]

Love and Hot Chocolate

Pairing - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Summary - During a winter patrol, Bruce brings you hot chocolate and finally confesses his feelings.

Warnings -Love confessions, First kiss, Tooth-rotting fluff, Childhood friends, Cheesy, Requited love

Word Count - 1.6k

Patrol in the middle of winter was hell. At least, that was how you felt about it. Even with the thermal layers of your suit, it felt like harsh cold was penetrating through them. You were going to turn into a human icicle and it wasn’t even Mister Freeze’s fault this time around.

It likely didn’t help that you had stopped, for the time being. The streets were silent and empty tonight. It had been well over a couple of hours since you had last seen a car on the roads, let alone a person walking the street. You seriously doubted that anything was going to be happening tonight. There was no need for patrol tonight meanwhile your crime fighting partner disagreed.

You had no idea where Bruce was right now. He had vanished on you without saying a word as to where he was going. He was infuriating like that, but you loved him so you gave him a pass. You knew how much that he worried over the city he loved so much. If he had just the smallest inkling that something was wrong he would stay out until dawn, chasing down any and every lead he came across.

In turn you worried over him. Which was exactly why you were still out here instead of returning to the warmth of the manor. Even if you didn’t know his exact location right now, you still weren’t going to leave him out here alone. So you stayed up here, your legs dangling over the edge, on the top of Wayne Tower. He would come and find you soon enough.

Sooner rather than later, as it turned out.

Behind you there was the flutter of a cape accompanied by the sound of heavy boots landing on the roof.

“Took you long enough,” you said.

“Sorry. It took me longer than I thought it would to find what I was looking for,” he replied. 

Your brow furrowed as you pouted. You looked over your shoulder at him, to find him holding two takeout coffee cups. “Coffee? How long are we staying out here?”

“It’s not coffee.” 

He walked forward and handed you one of the cups, before he sat down next to you. As you raised the cup toward your mouth, the smell of chocolate hit you. Hot chocolate. Curious, you popped the lid off and discovered melting marshmallows. 

“Hot chocolate and marshmallows? You’re spoiling me.”

Bruce smiled at you as you took a sip, humming at the rich taste. It was that soft, tender, genuine smile that he only seemed to reserve for you. 

“You deserve to be spoiled.”

You looked up at him. There had always been something unspoken between the two of you. A past filled with unspoken words, longing gazes and hidden touches. Neither of you ever did anything about it. He was so wrapped up in his crusade and transforming his company in order to better Gotham, Bruce had made it clear he didn’t have the time for a proper relationship. You stayed because of how long you had known him and how much you cared for him.

You wanted him in your life, no matter what that looked like.

He pushed back his cowl, revealing that handsome face of his. The way that he looked at you had your heart picking up its pace. He had never looked at you like that before, but you didn’t dare get your hopes up. There was no way.

“I think I’ve been an idiot,” he started. “I’ve been so caught up in everything else that I haven’t been paying attention to what’s in front of me.”

He set his cup down while you looked at him wide eyed. Your brain was struggling to process what exactly he was saying. There was no way that this actually happening. Not to you. You wanted to pinch yourself, but the material of your suit was too thick for you to feel it.

Bruce leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. The feeling of his chapped lips completely short circuited your brain. There was no time for you to react. As soon as it had happened, it ended as he pulled away.

His brow was furrowed and he looked sheepish. Like he had done something wrong.

“I’m sorry. I thought…”

His doubt was enough to kick you back into gear. You set your own cup down and launched yourself at him. Your hands came up to cup his face as you kissed him. His hands came to settle on your waist as he caught you and pulled you onto his lap.

You weren’t sure how long you were there. Your lips locked together as his tongue caressed yours. It felt so right. Like you were made for each other. Designed to fit like two perfect puzzle pieces. It was long enough that the lack of oxygen almost had you feeling dizzy.

Unwillingly, you parted from him. Gasping to let oxygen circulate back in your lungs again. Your lips stayed close together. Neither of you were willing to put too much space between you. 

“Took you long enough,” you laughed. Bruce laughed as well.

“I know,” he replied. He rubbed his nose against yours. “And I know I have a lot of time to make up for and I will. Starting with dinner tonight.”

“Dinner?”

“Yeah. We’re ending patrol early tonight and going back to the manor where Alfred’s preparing dinner. What do you say?”

“I’d love that, Bruce.”

You reached for your cup, but you were stopped by Bruce’s hands on your waist. You frowned.

“What’s wrong?” you asked. 

“Nothing, I just…” He huffed and looked away from you. “I’m not very good at this, I’m afraid.”

With your fingers against his jawline, you directed him back to you. “What’s wrong?” you repeated.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He gazed into your eyes, searching your own like he was looking for something. What, you didn’t know. One hand came up to cup your jaw this time. His thumb smoothed over your cheekbone.

“You’re one of the only constants I’ve had in my life. One of the only people I know I can confide in. You don’t take any of my shit, but you’re always there when I really need you. Even when I presented my plan to save Gotham. I mean, you joined me when I was sure that you and Alfred were teaming up to have me locked away. 

You’ve done so much for me and I’ve been so blind to it. So caught up in my own stuff that I didn’t even realise…” 

He broke eye contact for a moment, closing his eyes again to take another deep breath. You opened your mouth to say something, but it died in your throat when he pressed a finger to your lips.

“Please, let me finish first?” he asked. 

You nodded.

“Thank you. I know I’m rambling and maybe not making much sense. Like I said, I’m no good at this, but I need you to know… I need you to know that I love you. I always have and I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to realise that. I’m such a—“

You silenced him with a kiss. You refused to hear him call himself an idiot again.

“If you’re an idiot, then so am I. I could have said something at any point, but I didn’t. Suppose that makes us pretty perfect for each other,” you laughed softly, which even got Bruce smiling. “I love you too, Bruce.”

He looked like you had just served the world to him on a silver platter. Unknown to you, in his eyes, you really had. His lips found yours again. Much like the first, this kiss was long and passionate. Blood rushed through your veins and all you wanted was more. But the bitterly cold wind sent shivers up both of your spines and reminded you of the sweet drink that Bruce had painstakingly searched a, for once, peaceful city for.

You stayed curled up on his lap as you both drank your hot chocolates. It was amazing what the warmth of the drink did to chase away Gotham’s cold. He had long since pulled his cowl back on. Despite being so high up off the ground, he didn’t want to risk someone potentially seeing him without the cowl.

Your comms crackled to life.

“I do hope you two are planning to come back to the manor sometime soon. Dinner will become cold otherwise.”  

Alfred’s voice filled both yours and Bruce’s ears. You shared a look and laughed softly.

“We’ll be home soon, Alfred,” Bruce replied. 

He responded with a hum and the line fell dead once more.

“It’s got to be said, he has great timing.” You held up your cup and shook it side to side. There was no sound of liquid sloshing. It was empty. “I’m all out.”

Bruce took the cup from your hand and set it along side his. “We should get going then.”

You moved off of his lap and he stood up before holding out a hand for you. You took it, letting him pull you up. He didn’t let go of it as he led toward the back of the building. 

When you got the edge, he pulled you close to his body. His arm wrapped around your waist and secured you against him. You had done this move together many times in the past, but this time it felt way more intimate. 

“Ready?” he asked, like he always did. He wouldn’t jump until you were completely ready to. 

“I’ve never been more ready.”

[stsgluver]

TAKE ME BACK TO BEFORE – gojo satoru

summary. based off of this drabble. satoru loses his best friend, and, in the process, loses you too. PART ONE OF FOUR.

wc. 4.4k

tags. ANGST <33333 some fluff at the beginning, slight mention of some suggestive activities, cliff-hanger ending (neither happy nor sad), might be swearing I can't remember and it's 12am I'm too tired to check, may include spelling mistakes

a/n. sorry some bits are a little rushed but I wanted the focus on yn and gojo without making it too long!! hope you enjoy (unknown whether i'll pt2 it, might just leave it to the imagination)!!!! this is also my first long long piece of writing so i’m happy to accept any criticism xxx

chapped lips kiss along the back of your neck, soft hair tickling with each movement. you can feel the heat of the sun that peaks though the half closed curtains – satoru’s fault since the additional two seconds that would take is two seconds that he’s not with you and god forbid he’s not wrapped around you like a koala.

like right now.

you daren’t not open your eyes yet, enjoying the peace of being gently pampered by your boyfriend’s love as his kisses move down your shoulders and his fingers draw circles on your thighs and tummy. one leg is slotted neatly between yours and for a few blissful moments, he’s not the strongest sorcerer alive and you’re not his semi-grade one girlfriend that is constantly scrutinised for not coming from a well known clan. in their eyes you weren’t worthy to be in bed with a special grade. not that that had ever stopped you or gojou.

“i know you’re awake,” satoru murmurs against your skin, lifting his head up so that it rests against your shoulder. his voice is laced with sleep and you’re sure he hasn’t been awake much longer than you. he squeezes you impossibly closer, his bare chest against your back and your lips tilt up in a smile at the fact you’re the only one who will ever be this close to him. able to touch and kiss every inch of his skin with no infinity acting as a barrier.

after the fight with toji, gojo had reached a state of enlightenment. he declared himself the honoured one and suddenly you, suguru and gojo were no longer doing missions together. in fact, gojo would practically drop off the face of the earth for several weeks at a time as the higher ups took advantage of his new-found skills. you and suguru coped but it had changed the dynamic of your relationships entirely so these mornings were easily your favourite time of the day.

“i preferred it when you didnt speak,” you lie, twisting round in his arms to face him. it was becoming more of a rarity to see your boyfriend without his glasses on. as his power grew stronger, the consequential headaches were only worsening and shoko could only counter his cursed technique so much. “more kisses please.” squeezing your eyes shut and puckering your lips in an over-exaggerated manner, you hear satoru snicker lightly but he complies nonetheless.

one hand dips under your head to lightly grasp ahold of your hair, ensuring you stay tightly against him. the other reaches down, skimming past your shorts to grasp your thigh and pull it over his leg so your body is pressed against his. his hands are so gentle but they leave a fiery heat in their path that makes you wish you weren’t at the jujutsu high dorms with your friends either side of you.

“so demanding,” he mocks, his voice muffled against your lips. you’re almost embarrassed by how hard you’re trying to swallow the whine that’s stuck at the back of your throat. and satoru knows, he always knows, and he pinches your thigh as your hand wraps around his neck.

you bite down on his lip and squeeze your hand and he’s gasping and you’re kissing him harder until, finally, oxygen catches up to you both. satoru keeps you close, your foreheads pressed against one anothers as your quickened breaths mingle.

it’s a few more seconds till your heart has calmed down enough to hear yourself think and you open your eyes to see his ocean blue ones already staring at you. if your cheeks weren’t already red from your small make out, they definitely were now under his powerful gaze, so full of love and adoration.

satoru sees you so clearly, you look like an angel to him. sure, he has a strip from a photo booth of the two of you folded in the back pocket of his uniform at all times and hundreds of pictures of you on his phone to look back at when he’s away from you. but seeing you like this so up close is an image he wants branded into his brain permanently.

“we don’t have class today,” satoru says suggestively, drawing dangerously high circles that have you shuddering in anticipation.

your thumb brushes against his chin, tickled against the slight stubble that he’d shave off once you got out of bed. “what are you proposing?” you hum with a grin.

satoru enunciates each of his words with a wet kiss to your lips, cheek, nose and jaw, “you, me and a whole morning of s-” 

there’s a sharp knock against the door and satoru rolls over onto his side of the bed, letting out a very loud and very mature whine. you giggle quietly and press one last kiss to the crook of his neck, telling him to go speak to whoever it is. with a grumbled who the fuck is cockblocking the honoured one, satoru complies and slides off of the bed to find his pyjama pants to at least look half decent.

you watch him lazily, and you think you could fall back asleep if it weren’t for the fact your body is buzzing from the simple make out session. it was scary to admit the power satoru had over you.

“i’m trying to spend quality time with my girlfriend kento, this better be good,” satoru whines as he slides open his dorm door. you could almost picture nanami’s disgusted expression at the half-clothed, six-foot-something sorcerer who, quite frankly, was acting like a child.

“i need your help exorcising a few grade threes that were spotted,” nanami admits in a monotone voice but your heart instantly sinks.

“you’re grade two-” satoru tries to argue but you hiss gojo and the simple use of his family name has him reconsidering. clicking his tongue, he nods once at nanami with a more serious expression than is usually worn by the special grade, “give me five and i’ll be there.”

“i’ll be outside. bye yn.”

“stay safe kento!” you call back to him as you hear his footsteps get further away. 

satoru slowly closes the door. any trace of the sexual desires that were in the room previous have dissipated into a quiet sombre. he’s silent for a few moments before he turns his attention back to you, carefully assessing your response.

you stare up at the ceiling for a few more moments before you meet the eyes of your boyfriend. there’s an unspoken name between you and both of you are scared to say what you’re thinking.

the mission had initially meant to be one for you: it was supposed to be just a couple of grade two curses. easy. but you’d pushed yourself too hard the day before during train and could barely walk on your left leg. shoko had been away with family so the higher ups made the executive decision to send nanami and him. 

things went nasty quickly with the information being all wrong and satoru was the one who ultimately exorcised the curses as the rest of you mourned over what remained of his body. it didn’t matter that almost twelve months had passed. the guilt of ‘what if’ still tormented your memories and you’d be lucky if you went a week without seeing him in your dreams.

“i love you.” you turn your body to the left to see satoru having knelt down just in front of the bed. his icy blue eyes were filled to the brim with concern and pity for your situation. with satoru so often being away for missions now, you two had struggled to work through your guilt as you tried to pull further and further away from him. 

you offer him a small smile for reassurance. “i love you too.”

“always?” he tilts his head and grins. it didn’t take a genius to figure out that satoru had two very clear and distinctive love languages: physical touch and affirmations. he didn’t need the reassurance but there was just something about hearing you profess your love for him over and over that made his heart soar. 

you reach out to hold his face, and he practically purrs as he nestles himself closer into your touch. “of course pretty boy. who else would put up with your tantrums?”

“tantrums?! i would never,” satoru says, appalled by the accusations so much so he holds your wrists and kisses both palms of your hands. “that hurt my feelings.”

“you’ll be okay.” you roll your eyes, but your lips have quirked into a small smile and satoru mirrors it with a with a wide as he classes that as a  success. he places one little kiss to your lips, sighing reluctantly as he knows he’s got to leave you. 

despite the fact he was getting ready to go on a mission and not spend the day on a date with you, you do love the view of watching him get dressed. his back muscles in particular as he pulls a white shirt over his head that you wish you could bite—

“help?”

since you had started slipping into satoru’s room and spending the night, you two had formed a codependent morning routine. one part of which being the fact that satoru seemed to lose all ability to button up his uniform jacket the second you were in his bed. 

you shrug off the duvet and slip off of his bed to stand in front of him where he stood awaiting. a silence settles between the two of you as your hands gently pull his jacket together and slot each of the buttons into place. his glasses remain in his hand so you’re blessed with those ocean eyes watching each of your ministrations.

“suguru gets back from visiting his parents today,” you loop your arms loosely around his neck once you’re done, and he wants to laugh at the way you stretch up to meet his height. “him, ieiri and i are going to get boba if you want to join. bring kento too. i’m worried about him.”

“he’ll be okay,” you frown at satoru’s cheerful, but also dismissive, tone. “it’s just a part of-”

“-being a sorcerer. yeah i know,” you grumble. satoru is not an idiot, far from it, he’s just never known anything other than the jujutsu world. in such a world death has become normalised – even for a boy only eighteen. “but me and kento aren’t from families like you. we didn’t know what we were signing up for,” you explain and his lips pull into a thin line.

he presses an apologetic kiss to you forehead and gives your waist a soft squeeze, “i’m sorry, love you, baby.”

“i love you more,” you draw your arms around him more tightly and press your cheek to your chest as you hold him close to you, “come back to me safely.”

“answer my calls idiot,” you sigh as you press on geto’s contact for the third time. he should have arrived at the school twenty minutes ago but it had pretty much been radio silent since he’d arrived at his parents. other than the confirmation that he was there and safe, you hadn’t heard anything. you initially weren’t concerned – he was seeing his family after all – but he was never late to meet you.

“ieiri!” 

as you run down the hall to her, you notice your teacher, yaga, standing stony-faced with paper in his hands. you hold up your phone with suguru’s contact on the screen, “have you heard from sugu-“ shoko sighs, shaking her head and your stomach drops. not suguru too. you could barely recover from haibara. the only person that got you through that was satoru and you don’t think he can hold you together and keep himself sane if suguru had been killed by a curse too.

“someone tell me he’s still alive,” there’s tears welling up in your eyes as your grip tightens around your phone. what if you’d called him a day prior? would he have answered? asked for help? could you have saved him?

shoko can’t meet your gaze as she struggles to find the right words to explain so it’s your teacher that wordlessly answers your demand by handing you the letter in his hand, “read this.” 

you wish you hadn’t.

“what? what?” you repeat, eyes wide as you scan the word ‘execution’. your stomach is doing flips at this point and you really think you might be sick. your head pounds as you reread the words. “is this real?”

“unfortunately,” yaga confirms.

you think maybe it’s selfish, your friend is clearly suffering because no perfectly well being commits such a heinous act, but the only person that concerns you is– “does satoru know?”

“no,” he shakes his head, “i’m informing him once he’s back with nanami. i’m going to need all four of you to be on your best behaviour, keeping a low profile and completing any missions received as swiftly and efficiently as possible. we’re all going to be scrutinised for every decision we make from now.” yaga doesn’t have to explain himself fully to you both to know what he’s implying. all of you are under suspicion now of conspiracy – one mistake and the next execution letter could have your name written.

“do you know where is suguru now?” you ask shoko with a shaky voice once yaga has walked away back to his office.

“the boba shop,” shoko plays with the unlit cigarette in her hand. she, much like gojo, kept her true emotions hidden by a veil of grins and snarky comments, but there was a clear tone of defeat in her voice. “we planned to go there so he’ll go.”

you lift your head up from the floor, “but that was before he did… this.” there is a lump in your throat as you speak and find yourself feeling selfish as your concern shifts to your boyfriend and how he’ll handle suguru’s defection.

“he’ll be there,” shoko says firmly with the utmost trust in her voice. a true belief that he will never let you both down, that he will never do anything that has been accused of him.

-

that belief is quickly dashed, a day dream that isn’t real and the truth cut through you deeper than any curse ever could. suguru was nonchalant when you had spoken, apologetic that he had to leave all of his friends as opposed to his actions that caused that. shoko had called satoru and the rest had been a blur as she took you back to jujutsu high to give satoru and suguru their space.

time stills until a familiar aura of cursed energy enters the high school. he’s not wearing his usual dark shades so you can see his eyes are clearly bloodshot and puffy from tears – even if they’re partially covered by his growing white locks and his hunched posture.

you, shoko and yaga have been awaiting his return. there is a target on suguru’s head now and your teacher needs to know if satoru has pulled the trigger. you just need your boyfriend to come back to you in one piece, both metaphorically and physically. 

he doesn’t acknowledge any of you. there’s no words, no gestures, no shift in his energy to even let you all know that he’s responsive to the outside world. it’s like he’s just on autopilot as he pushes between the three of you and heads in the direction of the dorm rooms.

shoko sighs, flicking the lighter in her hand as she silently takes her leave. your heart feels like it’s ripping in two and you’re struggling to pick up the falling pieces as you watch her walk away. suguru is gone, shoko is shutting down and satoru…

yaga encourages you to go and speak to satoru whilst he discusses with other sorcerers about plans going forward regarding suguru. 

“toru? toru?” you knock lightly on his door, repeating your nickname for him when he doesn’t respond to you the first time. you know he’s in there.

another twenty seconds go by before you make the assertive decision to enter, pressing your palms against the door and slowly sliding it open. slipping in and closing the door behind yourself, there’s a slight ache in your chest as you mourn the blissful morning you had woken up to. a morning in a world that no longer existed.

the bed is still perfectly made as you had tidied it before you’d gone on your suguru hunt. satoru sits at his desk, his foot tapping lightly on the ground repeatedly as his knee moves up and down. you have never seen him in any state of anxiety before. it felt intrusive to witness the strongest in such a manner – even if you are his girlfriend.

you perch yourself onto the edge of his bed and wait for him to open up. which he never does. shocker. “did suguru say much to you?”

“no.”

“i know this is bad right now but-“

“do you know?” satoru snaps, hands slamming down against his desk causing you to jump. you’ve never seen him speak so angrily and act out – his emotions overruling his logical reasoning. “is it because i’m fucking cryin? is that what made you realise?”

“satoru-“

“you were here. you have been with him and not once did you mention that suguru wasn’t doing well,” satoru doesn’t sugarcoat his words as he layers the blame thickly on you, “maybe if you hadn’t been so fucking focused on how your last fuck up killed haibara, i wouldn’t have lost my best friend.” you choke back a sob, hand over your mouth as tears well up in your eyes. satoru doesn’t look at you. somewhere between this morning and now, your position has shifted – from the centre of his universe to just another weak person who burdens him.

“he is my best friend too,” your broken voice tries to defend itself. the attempt falls on deaf ears because now satoru is pacing back and forth, his fingers pressed to the sides of his forehead as he rotates them in small circles. migraine.

“satoru i get you’re grieving and you’re hurt but you can’t blame me,” you try to reason because god you love him so much and you think if he means what he says, if satoru truly blames you… you’re not sure how you’re going to be able to move on.

“cant i?” satoru lets out a dry chuckle, shaking his head. “i ignored him for you. to make sure you were okay.”

“look we’re both emotional right now. i’ll give you some time to cool off and we can work this out–” you try to reach out and hold his hand but you're met with a force you haven’t felt in a very very very long time. he turned his infinity on.

“dont bother,” he slouches back down into his chair, forearm covering his eyes as he leans back. “there’s nothing to work out.”

those tears that you’d been holding back are freely flowing now, down past your reddned cheeks and dripping onto his bed sheets as you feel yourself become light-headed. “are you break-“

“go.” there’s a chill down your spine from the assertiveness in his voice. it’s monotone and without any trace of the love he had for you that morning. he really means it then, everything he said.

so you comply and you don’t look back.

– TWELVE MONTHS LATER

“ieiri, i just need two more minutes then i should be ready to go–”

“you’re leaving.” 

your breath hitches and your whole world comes to a halt at the oh-so-familiar voice behind you. one that had barely addressed you or acknowledged your existence for a year now. a ghost.

“gojo,” you know he doesn’t like your usage of his first name from the disgruntled sound he makes. there’s a brief pause as your brain hot wires itself back into function again and you refrain from repeating his family name that tastes so foreign on your tongue. “uh, yeah, my plane to korea leaves in a few hours.” 

“you weren’t going to say goodbye?”

you scoff, closing the last box with the remains of your tape, “this is the first time you’ve recognised my existence in nearly a year, gojo. can’t say goodbye to someone who’s already left you behind.” your tone is especially sharp as you utter the syllables of his last name. it hurts to speak to him, to hear his voice, to exist to him again. he doesn’t get to speak to you with a breeziness in his voice, like he never abandoned you in the worst way possible. like he didn’t shatter your heart into a million pieces when you were already at your lowest.

the world of jujutsu is cruel and had been especially to you since geto’s defection and the break up with gojo. you had shoko and nanami but shoko was slowly regressing into a shell of a former self and nanami had always had one foot out of the door. the last twelve months had only solidified his decision to leave.

the higher ups have little to no respect for you – that is a fact. gojo leaving you had removed any sort of political defence you had against them and they didn’t hesitate to question your position and capabilities as a sorcerer after every mission. you don;t need gojo to survive, you could stand up for yourself, but you deserved more than to be left in the lurch at such a volatile time with suguru’s defection. 

there’s a dampness in your palm and you wince as you realise how tightly you had been clenching your fists.

gojo reaches out for your bloodied hands and you flinch away, finally turning back to look at him.

he’s stunning.

“don’t touch me,” you are quick to widen the distance between the two of you, wiping your hands on your dark skirt. for a moment there’s a parallel to all those months ago – when he’d decided to break up with you and cut you off from touching him with the same infinity that had once brought you so much joy. initially, allowing you to touch him had been his way of opening up, learning how to be vulnerable to the person he loves. he hadn’t needed to tell you you were over the moment he forced that barrier between you once more.

“i’m sorry.” his blue eyes aren’t as blue as they once were, their light dimmed, and he looks genuinely apologetic for overstepping. it doesn’t ease the ache.

the two of you take a breath and just stare. your eyes scan the face and body of the man who you thought you knew like the back of your hand. every scar on his body and every thought in his mind.

his lips quirk into a sad smile, “i love you.” your jaw clenches at his admission and you turn back to your boxes. 

he doesn’t mean it. he can’t.

“gojo,” you warn quietly, your thoughts quickly going into haywire at his confession because you’d be lying if you said you don’t love him too. in fact, you know you do – it’s what has driven your hatred towards him to blossom into a garden of sharp, bleeding roses.

“please stop calling me that,” he always hated to be reduced to the clan he is from. he takes a cautious step towards you as the words continue to spill from his lips. “i love you, i love you so much, but i have lost so much. i got scared and i pushed you away and it was so wrong of me–”

“i lost everything.” you look directly at him and you can only hope that he knows you’re referring to him and him alone. it isn’t that you consider everyone else expendable, you’re just capable of coping with the loss of them. a piece of you died a year ago and 

“but you’re not the strongest are you?” you click your tongue and almost laugh. he belongs in this world of sorcery more than you ever could. everything is reduced to power. “i’ve been this prodigy since as long as i can remember and i couldnt save haibara, i didn’t even realise suguru was spiralling and you…” 

“i was right here,” you press a finger directly into the centre of his chest to emphasise your point. somehow you manage not to hesitate and stutter as you realise he’s dropped his infinity for you again – even if it is just to allow you to prod him in anger. “i needed you. i lost someone who i saw as a little brother and then one of my best friends kills his parents and an entire village. i needed you.”

gojo’s left silent for a moment so you finish off, “you know how i find this society to be a prestigious bunch of shit but i stayed for you and you still left me. i would’ve done anything for you.” there’s those tears again. you need him out of your room and you need out of this world as soon as possible.

“i have two kids.”

“what?” you don’t bother to hide the hurt in your voice, nor the underlying tones of jealousy. you’d been out of his life for twelve months and he’d already moved on? and had kids? at nineteen?

“they were about to get sold to the zen’in clan-“ your eyebrows furrow as the pieces of the puzzle come together. 

“fushiguro’s?” you cut him off to ask tentatively, and gojo nods. you take a seat on your bed. you’re not quite sure you can handle anything coming out of his mouth without risking passing out from the sheer overwhelmingness of it all. how dare he waltz back into your life, announce he has two kids that he was willingly raising to ensure they didn’t become victims of the zen’in clan? for what? as a favour for the man who basically killed him not even three years prior?

gojo flashes you a sheepish smile, clasping his hands together as he rocked back and forth on his heels nervously. “want to raise them with me?”

taglist ! @sanokiss ! @dummyf ! @erenssin ! @makiuchiha97 ! @sosoa ! @bontensh0e ! @cole-silas ! @fenrysashryver ! @istanuwow !

[bytemee]

chapter twelve. | WHERE DO YOU SLEEP? — YU JIMIN.

𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 — y/n, a rising music producer, has built her dream career while keeping her personal life under wraps. karina, aespa’s leader, is preparing for a huge comeback with a mini album produced and written by the one and only y/n.

karina knows this is the opportunity of a lifetime, and she has to nail it. the only problem is, she may be a bit distracted by her producer.

something about their connection feels different—like maybe it's worth the risk of prying eyes. but how much will they give up to chase after what they want?

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 — third person, angst(?), let me know if theres more.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 — 1k

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲— THERES A BONUS CHAP COMING PLZ DONT KILL ME. but yes, this is kinda the end.

taglist (open) — @sunshinez4 @gtfoiydlyj @yuyuy90 @liaponderstings @rinapomu @bimkayd @minaripenguu

series masterlist. main masterlist. prev. extra content. bonus chapter.

the mnet asian music awards, one of the most prestigious nights in the industry, had finally arrived. the arena was alive with energy—fans chanting, light sticks waving, the air vibrating with excitement. this year, held in japan, the event was a celebration of music, artistry, and a year full of hits.

y/n adjusted the hem of her outfit as she stood in the backstage prep area. the nerves were there—she couldn't deny it—but they weren't overpowering. she had worked hard for this moment. her album, the product of endless nights and sleepless days, had topped the charts for weeks. she had performed in front of thousands, won awards, and earned the respect of her peers.

"you good?" jamie's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. her manager stood a few feet away, his eyes scanning her appearance one last time before the performance. "not that you look it, but you don't seem like you're about to throw up. that's progress."

she rolled her eyes.

the first year y/n had come to the mamas, jamie had to carry her to the bathroom. she spent the entire night locked in a stall, clutching the porcelain bowl, too nervous to move. jamie had stayed with her the entire time, rubbing her back and telling her silly jokes until she finally calmed down. it had been a rough few years, but y/n had grown.

"i'm fine. it's not my first performance, jamie."

"yeah, but it's mama," he replied, emphasizing the letters. he reached up and adjusted the mic on her ear. y/n sighed. she knew what he meant. the mamas were a big deal, an important step in her career. it was a chance to prove herself in the k-pop industry as more than a producer or a songwriter. she was here as a performer, an artist.

a small team of makeup artists flitted around her, touching up her appearance. they had spent hours getting her ready, but y/n hadn't paid much attention to any of it. all she could think about was the stage waiting for her. she felt like she was in a daze. she glanced over at jamie, who gave her a reassuring smile.

"it's okay," he said softly. "just breathe."

she was ready.

"y/n, you're on in ten," the stage director says, motioning for her to follow. they lead her toward the edge of the stage where she can see the sea of people. it's dizzying, but she keeps her expression neutral. "stay in the wings until the cue, then go on when the music starts."

she nods, taking a deep breath.

jamie watched her from a few feet away. he gave her a thumbs-up, flashing his signature smile. after tonight, she was finally getting that break they've been talking about. couple of weeks, no schedules, no deadlines.

just her, a bed, and—well, whatever the hell she wanted to do. he knew she needed the rest. y/n had poured every ounce of herself into this album, and it showed in the results. but even with the success, he could see the toll it had taken.

she deserved a moment to breathe. to really sit and take in everything that's happened. to process.

and when the time came for her to dive back in, jamie would be there to make sure she landed safely.

when she finished her performance, the applause was deafening. y/n stood under the spotlights, chest heaving, sweat dripping down her forehead. she felt exhilarated. euphoric. as she walked off stage, the energy from the crowd followed her, swirling around her like a storm.

staff members congratulated her in passing, but she barely registered them. her thoughts were scattered, her mind racing. she couldn't believe she'd just performed at mama.

jamie was waiting for her just offstage, clapping with a wide grin. "you killed it."

"i think i blacked out," y/n said, her laugh shaky. she took the towel he offered and dabbed her face. "did it look okay?"

"okay?" jamie scoffed. "that was insane. you ate them up!"

her eyebrows furrowed. who taught him that?

he reached up and mussed her hair affectionately, and she swatted him away. she knew he was teasing her, but she still wanted to know how her performance had gone over with the audience. the staff guided her down a hallway, her boots clicking softly against the polished floor.

just as she turned a corner, she saw them.

aespa was walking down the same hallway, their manager leading the way.

their eyes locked, the hallway suddenly shrinking around them.

through anyone else's eyes, this might have looked like nothing—just a chance encounter between two idols walking in the same space. maybe with some history because of the rumors and scandals, but nothing major. nothing life-changing. although, it was the complete opposite for the two.

seeing each other again brought back all the memories they had shared, both good and bad. it wasn't something either of them could easily forget. there was too much history there—too much pain and heartbreak and love. they've been through so much together, spent some time apart, but somehow, here they were. together again.

hearts barreling toward one another like it had never learned how to stay still. hearts that were once tangled now moving in sync.

she smiled as she passed by, eyes locking onto the girl who had captivated her from the very beginning. it was an automatic reaction, one that couldn't be controlled. y/n knew that if she stopped, if she took a moment to say hi, it would be too much to bear tonight. something that neither of them could deal with right now.

but despite everything that happened, despite the way their relationship changed, karina couldn't help but smile back.

she knew it would only be a matter of time before they were face to face once more.

as they passed, y/n's shoulder brushed karina's, their hands barely grazing each other's fingertips. but neither of them stopped. neither of them turned. their paths continued, as if nothing had happened.

because two hearts, once tangled, never truly move apart. especially when those hearts belonged to karina and y/n.

series masterlist. main masterlist. prev. extra content. bonus chapter.

[moonlightazriel]

When no one hears your calls /// Eris X F!Reader

Summary: When the unbearable feelings of her mate start to mess with her life, Y/N decides to put an ending to their misery.

Warnings: Torture and abuse, Beron being the bastard he is.

Word Count: 3K

Notes: Yeah, i missed writing for my baby Eris. And I'm warning in advance that reader is Azriel's sister and he's mated to Gwyn in this, so please, if you don't stan Gwynriel, scroll past it.

Main Masterlist

She weeped, the feelings flooding her chest too overwhelming to keep controlled. It started with small waves of anxiety, increasing to pure agony, pain erupted through her chest. She tried to keep the tears from spilling, but now she sobbed, broken pleas for it to stop leaving from her parted chapped lips. 

“Tell me what’s wrong, let me make it stop.” Azriel begged his sister. Holding her broken frame in between his arms.

“It hurts so much Az, it’s not fair.” She managed to speak in between the sobs that got more hysterical. The shadowsinger just held her tighter, seeing her in such distress broke him, she has always been his greatest weakness. 

“Here, take this.” Gwyn offered, her warm hands holding a mug towards the female. “It will help you sleep.” Azriel nodded to his mate, taking the mug from his hands and bringing it to his sister’s lips. He forced the content down her throat, watching as the tea slowly worked, her body relaxed and the tears stopped and she fell asleep against him.

“Thank you.” He said, and Gwyn squeezed his shoulder in a reassuring grip. Azriel grabbed Y/N, taking her to the guest bedroom that Gwyn had set for her, placing her sleeping form carefully on the bed. The red headed female grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the living room again.

“I don’t understand.” He breathed. “She has had these episodes since the High Lord’s meeting, it doesn’t make any sense.” 

“Maybe she’s sick?” Gwyn suggested and Azriel shrugged. 

“I took her to Madja, and she’s been as healthy as ever. There’s nothing wrong with her besides that.” He looked towards the room, to the shadows guarding his sister as she finally rested. “I don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll find a solution Az, I know that.” Gwyn smiled at him, and he pulled the female for a hug. 

“I pray to the Mother that you’re right.” She kissed his temple and he closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of her love soothe his heart. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 

Whenever an episode approached, it always had small signs indicating it, the uncomfortable feeling in her chest, the rapid breathing and the dizziness like someone hit her in the head with full strength.

She hated that she worried her family so much, but not every time she was able to control how her body would react to it. It angered her how they would look at her with such pained expressions, how much Azriel wanted to help and she didn’t even knew how to ask for his help. 

So everyday, Gwyn would take her to the library and she would search the cause of her troubles, her nose glued to the pages for hours until her vision was blurry and her head was pounding. She never felt such agony, only when her half brothers and her father ripped her wings from her back, making a small cut and pulling it until the skin gave up and she blacked out due to the blood loss. 

It was Azriel shadows who helped them, sneaking supplies to their cell until they could get rid of the infection that almost killed her and healed his hands. She was glad for them and her brother, they saved her. She always tried to be as less of a burden as possible to not worry Azriel, but now she knew he was distressed about her situation, so she wanted to fix it, for her and for him. 

Shadows gathered in a corner caught her attention, she got up, despite not being able to hear them, they always tended to her and her needs. As she approached the shelf, the shadows disappeared, leaving only a copy of an old dusty book behind. She pulled the book out, blowing the dust off, sneezing a bit in the process. Allergic just like Cassian. 

She plopped herself in her seat again, scanning the book cover, no name, no nothing, this sparked her curiosity. She opened the book, in a fancy handwriter she could read “MATING BONDS: The complete guide for the matters of the heart.” She smiled at the title. 

Just like her brother, she was sometimes too shy to ask about things. Besides having her past lovers, mating bonds are something she was never that curious about. So she sat there, reading the whole thing with attention. If the shadows thought this book would help, she was sure it would. 

“Sometimes, strong feelings can leak through a one sided bond. And the other mate can feel it just as clearly as they would if the bond was shared by both mates.” That passage stuck with her, and she organised the books back on the shelf as she saw Gwyn approaching. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 

“How do we know if the bond snapped or not?” She blurted at the dinner table, the eyes of the inner circle turning to her.

“Well, it’s different for everyone and you would mostly just know.” Rhys said, looking at the female, the three Illyrians treated her like they were her brothers as well. So, the three have been looking for ways to help their little sister to get rid of those episodes. 

“What if the bond had snapped for me and I just didn’t know it was it?” She inquired again and Azriel turned to his sister, his shadows stopping to look at her curiously. 

“Do you think you found your mate?” He asked, eyebrow raised, who she thought she was mated to?

“I found this book that said that feelings can leak through the bond.” The couples nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, it’s very common.” Feyre replied.

“That’s the only explanation for what’s happening to me.” They all stopped for a second. “These emotions are not mine, but they’re strong enough for me to feel it.” Suddenly it all made sense.

“I pity your mate then.” Nesta said with sincerity, whoever it was, was going through great pain for her to feel it so intensely. 

“Me too.” Feyre agreed. “But as for the bond, you can feel like a tug in your soul, like no one else matters to you anymore besides that person.” The High Lady concluded. 

“Do you think you ever felt like this?” Elain asked and the female nodded.

“Yeah, I think I have.” 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 

She couldn’t sleep, her mind filled with too many memories to rest. But one in particular caught her attention, and she closed her eyes, focusing on that memory until she could see it clearly.

“I didn’t know the Night Court had such beauties by their side.” His voice purred, and she turned around to see the well dressed autumn male. He had a smirk adorning his lips, his hair slicked back, leaving a clear view of his face.

“The autumn males aren’t that bad either.” She sheepishly replied, eyes glued to his amber eyes. Eris Vanserra was a dangerous male, as her family had alerted her, but what a beautiful disaster he was. Stealing her breath away and making her lose all of her focus.

“If you ever give me the pleasure of your company, I'll show you how bad we can be.” He winked at her, leaving her standing still in the hallway. It was Nesta who found her, looking at nothing, frozen in place as her chest sparkled with life, like she was taking her first breath of fresh air after getting out of her father’s dungeon. As she was finally free. 

She kicked the covers away from her body, not caring about her clothing as she winnowed away. It was him, he was what was troubling her so much. She just needed to ask him to stop whatever this was and she would go back to normal. The shadows covered her as she sneaked through the Autumn Manor. 

Everything was pitch black, and she just followed the shadows, taking her to the only illuminated room. She pushed the door open, spotting Eris by the bed, looking in a small mirror as he stitched a very ugly wound in his chest. His eye was purple and his lips were bruised. 

“Who did this to you?” She breathed, her hands shaking in anger, how could someone do it to another being? She saw how cruel people could be and she dedicated her time to protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked startled, dropping the mirror from his hands and wincing in pain. Surprised to see her there, and even more curious to know why she was there.

“I came here to talk to you.” She walked closer to her. “Here, let me help you.” Eris raised an eyebrow towards her, what was happening? She picked the needle from his hands, her warm skin brushing against his, it was a nice feeling. He didn’t say anything as her soft touch rested against his heart, while her other hand worked on closing the wound.

She finished the stitches, reaching for the bowl of water, taking the cloth and with one hand she lifted his chin, eyes locked together for a second. She started to work on the dried blood that smeared across his lips and nose. He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch and letting her take care of him. 

“What do you want to talk about that was so important that you invaded my room in the middle of the night?” He watched as she got away from him, sitting in one of the comfortable chairs in the corner of his room. She pulled her legs close to her chest. 

“I wanted you to stop.” He leaned forward.

“Stop what exactly?” She took a deep breath.

“With your overwhelming feelings, it’s been a fucking trouble to me. But you’re clearly going through something, so if you ever need me, don’t hesitate to reach out.” Eris sneered.

“Why would I ever seek your help?” He watched as she got up, her expression serious as she held the doorknob. 

“Because who’s better to help you than your own mate?” And with that she left. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 

Mate. 

Mate.

Mate.

She was his mate. Her words got caught in his mind, she had no reason to lie to him. But he also had no reasons to believe her, he just did. He chose to believe that the female who came to him in the middle of the night and showed him more kindness than his own flesh and blood was telling the truth.

So when another round of torture was over, he winnowed to her house, he had memorized the address she had sent to him. He could barely hold himself together, so he almost collapsed on top of her as she opened the door. She looked like she had been crying as he managed to take a look at her face, and he wondered if it was his emotions that led to that.

“I didn’t know where else to come, and I didn't want to be alone.” She didn’t laugh nor mocked him, she just nodded and left the room. He could hear her, moving around in a hidden room, he wondered if she regretted offering him shelter. 

All the doubts died down in his throat when she came back, leaning to help him stand, guiding the way towards a bathroom. She sat him in her toilet and helped him out of his clothes. He sank in the water, trying to ignore the fact that he had to be naked in front of her, she looked like she was trying her best to ignore it as well.

“I put some numbing herbs, to help with the pain.” He nodded, feeling very thankful for her kindness. “And I have some of Azriel’s clothes here if you don’t mind. Yours are very dirty and could infect your wounds.”

“I would like that, thank you.” She nodded, getting out of the room and only appearing again to drop the clothes. Eris sighed, feeling his body relax and his wounds starting to close. As the water got cold, he got out. He felt weird wearing the Shadowsinger’s clothes but nothing about this situation was usual for him. 

“I figured you’re probably hungry.” She placed a plate in front of him, no one had ever taken that much care of him before. “I didn’t cook it, Feyre told me it's a way of accepting the bond.” She smiled and he could swear that all the pain and sadness was lifted from his chest with that bright smile directed to him. 

“Yeah, we don’t want you accepting this bond by accident.” Why would she want to accept a life tied to him?

“Yeah, we have to get to know each other first.” She giggled, taking a bite of her own food. “You don’t even know my favourite colour!” Eris laughed, feeling the sound reverberate through his chest, how long it was since he truly laughed with someone? 

“Do you plan on accepting?” He asked, testing the waters.

“To be honest, I think about it, but as I said. First we get to know each other, we think about the bond later.” Eris nodded. 

“Does your family know?” He dared to ask, assuming that they didn’t, or else Azriel would have already threatened him. 

“They do!” He looked at her in shock. “They weren’t happy at first, but they respect my choice.” 

“Did you tell them?” He gestured towards himself and her smile faded.

“Your secret is safe with me, it’s not my story to tell.” He swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Thank you, for everything.” She smiled again.

“Nothing to thank me for.” He grabbed her hand, rubbing circles with his thumb.

“I have everything to thank you for, you just don’t know it.” They finished the meal and she got up to do the dishes, he quickly pushed her away. “It’s the least I can do.” She nodded.

“I’ll get the guest room ready for you then.” That night Eris slept like he hadn't slept in ages, soaking in the comfort of her home and her affection. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 

Her fingers started to shake, and that wave of anxiety came, as overwhelming as ever, it has been a whole month that she didn’t feel it, but Eris still came up to her beaten every week, she knew he was holding back his pain for her. But today, it was just as unbearable as it was when he didn’t know about it.

She gritted her teeth, clenching her fists under the table. The dinner went nicely, everyone engaged in conversations and smiling. She couldn’t ruin it, not again. But it was too late, as tears started to stream down her face.

“Are you okay?” Gwyn asked. Concern lacing her delicate features. Y/N shook her head, a scream ripping past her lips and scaring the whole family, Azriel was by her side in a second, tending to her. 

“What’s wrong?” It wasn’t pain that filled her veins tonight, it was anger. The house shook with her power. She screamed in rage, if she didn’t act now, he was going to get killed. She grabbed the truth teller away from her brother.

“This ends tonight.” She announced before she winnowed away. The pain guided her, towards mouldy walls and putrid floors, the smell of blood making the air rancid. 

He groaned, the pointy blade opening his flesh as it was dragged across his skin. He tried to hold back his pain but it was too much tonight, the ash in the weapon making everything more painful. He tried to hang on for her, for the life he wanted to have with her, for everything they haven’t lived yet. But it was too painful to keep going. 

The cell door was forced open, with unruly hair, wet and red cheeks, holding a blade in her hands, his guardian angel came. The blade being pushed into Beron’s neck, blood splattering against her face. She pushed the blade to the side, Beron’s head being detached from his neck, his lifeless body collapsing to the floor. 

“Hey! Open your eyes.” She demanded, kneeling in front of him, cradling his face in between her hands, and in that moment, the bond in his chest sang with life, welcoming her unmistakable love for him. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 

The first thing he saw was the black curtains of her guest room. And the looming presence of the Shadowsinger himself, watching him intently. His body didn’t hurt anymore, all that was left was the warming feeling of the bond alongside his soul. 

“Where is she?” He asked, sitting straight up in bed, his muscles felt tingly from being in the same position for long.

“She’s out in town, getting some things.” Azriel sat in the chair facing the bed. “How are you feeling, Eris?” True concern filled his voice.

“I’m fine, she saved me.” He could never forget this.

“Use this gift she gave you to make her the happiest female alive.” Azriel said, and Eris knew this was the closest of his blessing he would ever get. “Keep her safe.”

“With my life.” The male promised. A door opened somewhere and her soothing voice filled the room.

“I’m home!” She announced, and it took her a few minutes to go to his room, pushing the door open, she watched him. Blinking the tears before rushing to him, jumping on top of him. He held her, and he felt  her lips pressed on his. His heart beated faster, as he retributed her kiss.

“Hey, stop that, that’s gross.” Azriel groaned, and she parted their kiss, laughing to her brother from Eris’s lap.

“You’re no fun.” She complained, showing him his middle finger. He rolled his eyes and left the room. “What do we do now?” She asked, but Eris didn’t want to think about the chaos that awaited for him at home, so he looked her in the eyes, sending all the love he could down the bond and asked.

“What’s your favourite colour?”