#WHY DID ASTRONOMY HAVE TO BE SO BEAUTIFUL SOMETIMES

[jefc]

"Ultra Deep Field: Looking Out into Space, Looking Back into Time", Hubble Space Telescope (2021)

[weasleykisses]

Astronomy I (Sirius Black x Reader)

A/N: You think you hate Sirius Black. As James’ sister though, you see an awful lot of him. If only you weren't desperately in love with him, and he wasn't the most handsome boy you'd ever met. 

word count: 5.6k

You didn’t mind hanging out with your twin brother. He was exciting and funny, always making you laugh aloud from his antics. You actually enjoyed his company, unlike how some others were with their siblings. You assumed he liked your company.

At least, he enjoyed your company when you weren’t fighting ruthlessly with a certain boy with long raven-colored hair and an awfully smug smile on his lips that never left his face. You couldn’t stand Sirius Black. He was just…just a womanizing pervert with no life. It was hard sometimes getting along with your own brother when his best friend was so miserable to be around.

You didn’t even mind your brother’s other friends. Peter was quiet and a great listener. He wasn’t anything special,  but he never got on your nerves either. Remus was practically godsent, helping you with homework and sitting with you when you had classes without any of your friends. He had this way of making everything so calm and tranquil when he entered the room. 

You were roommates with Lily, your brother’s crush since the first year at Hogwarts. You also hung out with Dorcas and Marlene, sometimes Mary, sometimes Alice and Frank. You could appreciate most of the people you found yourself surrounded by. Everyone but him.

At least, that’s what you wanted everyone to think. You actually really enjoyed your time with Sirius, much more than you should have. He was just so perfect. The guy of your dreams, literally. You often woke up in the middle of the night after having dreamt of him kissing you, calling you his girl. 

Only, he wasn’t interested in you. To him, you were just his best mate's twin sister, just another bro within the group. You didn’t know where he got that impression either. You were smart and considerate of others, unlike the majority of the marauders. You wore dresses and painted your face with makeup to highlight some of your more feminine features. You were a girl with feelings, not simply “one of the guys”. Peter and Remus didn’t see you like that. 

That’s why you found yourself absolutely furious with him all the time. You hated him so much. You hated the way he made you feel like your heart was about to beat out of your chest. You hated the way he smirked when you got flustered. You hated everything about him because he wasn’t yours. It wasn’t always that way either. You used to like him in your first few years at Hogwarts, but over time you started to catch feelings and you weren’t very tolerant of the heart break you felt whenever he inevitably flirted with other girls. 

That’s why you sat with your arms crossed, trying to zone out his incessant flirting with Marlene McKinnon even if she was gay as fuck. The way he complimented her beautiful blonde hair, and winked when she smiled at him. 

Peter was talking to you about something that happened in his History of Magic class that afternoon, but you weren’t listening. You’d checked out a long time ago. 

“Whatever, McKinnon, I’ve got a hot date with a Ravenclaw later. Your loss,” he joked, and she shoved his shoulder playfully. He respected that Marlene was in a committed relationship with Dorcas, but he couldn’t help flirting with everyone. Well, everyone except for you. You’d nearly bite his head off if he did. 

You immediately felt uncomfortable at his comment, now knowing he had another date with, no doubt, a gorgeous girl. He would probably snog her, maybe even hook up if he was feeling promiscuous. Your stomach turned like you might be sick all over the coffee table. 

Your brother piped up from his spot beside Lily near the fireplace, “When are you gonna settle down, Pads? You have a new girl, like every week.”

Sirius grinned and shook his head. “‘No plans on slowing down any time soon,” he declared, “I don’t think there’s been a girl to catch my eye yet.”

You deflated. Of course he would say that. You didn’t know why you always got your hopes up. He wasn’t the type to settle for a single girl. He liked to spread his affection thin amongst many suitors. 

“Aw, that's no fun. Don’t you want to find your true love?” Lily asked, leaning into James happily. You were happy to see your brother finally with the girl of his dreams. He’d spent enough years running after her, that was for sure. 

Sirius shrugged. “When I meet her, I meet her. If not, I won’t be disappointed.”

Except, Sirius Black did have a girl that caught his eye. In fact, you’d done so pretty long ago, before he could remember really. Only, you were insistent that you despised him, fighting with him since the third or fourth year. James’ pretty sister, the one that loved astronomy, cauldron cakes, and unfortunately,  scowling at any attempt he made to flirt with you. 

He wanted you. You were always endgame in his eyes, the girl he would marry and spend his days huddled up in a cottage with. One day, he wanted to give you everything you could need, anything you asked for. It was the only thing he saw when he thought about his future. 

You sighed, thinking about the girl he must like. You imagined he liked someone with soft long hair, sparkling eyes, a button nose and plump pink lips. Maybe she was intelligent and kind, or clever and sexy. You were rough around the edges. You weren’t the most attractive girl at Hogwarts, nor were you particularly intelligent or charming. You were fairly plain in comparison to some of the showstopping girls that you surround yourself with. Lily, for example, was drop dead gorgeous. 

“Come on. There must be one girl you fancy,” Marlene teased.

Sirius smirked. “And so what if there is? I’ll never tell who.”

“My guess is on that Hufflepuff in our charms class. She’s always sneaking looks at you,” Peter suggested, and Sirius didn’t reply, letting your mind wander. It simmered in your mind, the thought of Sirius and that Hufflepuff girl, you thought her name was Penelope, if you remembered correctly. She was a cute girl with sweet eyes and a soft voice filled with joy. 

You didn’t notice, but your lip quivered just a bit. Your heart had sunken down in your stomach like a boulder. With your shoulders turned in on themselves, you looked down at the carpet, trying to focus on the gold and red pattern instead of the discussion at hand. 

Why did you feel so sick at the thought of Sirius liking another girl? He was just a friend, if that. He was more like a friend of a friend that you eventually only begrudgingly hung out with. So what if he liked that stupid hufflepuff girl with her sparkly pink eyeshadow and her perfect nose and a voice that rivaled a siren’s song? It didn’t matter to you. 

Only it did, and when you felt that familiar wave of tears coming through, you shook your head. 

“Oh, Y/N, where are you going?” James asked, and you exhaled, trying to avoid the tremor in your voice.

“I forgot I have to run by the library and study that chapter on dittanies before that test tomorrow,” you said, and Remus looked at you, confused. You didn’t have a test in Herbology for another week. Only he knew that as he was in the same class as you. 

You picked up your bag and started making your way out of the common room. You heard Remus say something behind you, but you were too focused on rushing away from the conversation. You left out the portrait hole, letting the first of your tears run down your face when you were in the hallway. You sniffled, pressing your face to your puffy cardigan sleeves. 

The door opened behind you and you tried to cover up your little crying fit, but upon seeing Remus Lupin walk out, clearly looking for you, you let your guard down. You could trust him, out of everyone in the group, he was most likely to keep your secrets. 

You let yourself sob, shutting your eyes and pressing your palms to cover your eyes. 

His hand found your back and rubbed soothingly. “It’s okay, Y/N. Forget about him. He’s an idiot,” he assured, and you only cried harder. There was nothing much to say. 

“I just fucking hate that I like him, Remus. Why him? It’s so stupid. He’s so stupid,” you cried, so angry with yourself. “I’ll never look like those girls. I’ll never be like them. I’m stuck being boring Y/N.” You wiped at your tears, trying to stop yourself from being such a baby. 

He let out a heavy sigh. “Why do you think of yourself like that?”

“How can I not? Sirius won’t even flirt with me. I’m that disgusting that the biggest flirt in the entire world won’t even jokingly compliment me,” you told him. 

“Sirius is complicated. I’m sure it’s not what you think.”

“Yeah, right. That’s why I’ve never had a boy ask me out the entire time we’ve been at Hogwarts,” you groaned, “Give it up, Moony. I’m just the worst.”

“Have you considered boys might be too intimidated to ask you out,” he suggested, leaning down to make eye contact with you. “You seem to forget your brother is Quidditch team captain and you exude quite a lot of attitude.”

You rolled your eyes, an awkward smile on your lips. “I’m not intimidating.”

“You kind of are. I’ve even noticed a few boys look at you positively smitten this year, might I add.”

You smiled, leaning into his side to give him a little hug. “Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Rem.”

“That’s just what friends do,” he told you, hugging you back. He was probably the only person in this world that knew about your crush on the disowned Black. He encouraged you time and time again to just shoot your shot and ask him out, but you denied it every time. You just continued to argue with the boy, too scared to be nice to him and fall deeper into this pit you called love.  The downside was that you sort of chose to be an asshole. Sirius really didn’t deserve it, he didn’t do a thing wrong. You just couldn’t handle your feelings of inferiority mixed with intense emotions for the boy. 

You didn’t know what the next steps were, but you swore to yourself you wouldn’t let Sirius Black hold you back anymore. 

____

It was Christmas, so you and your brother had packed your things to spend the holiday at your house. Normally, you would be ecstatic to go home and enjoy yourself, only the past few holidays since Sirius was disowned, James decided it was time to start inviting Sirius to the family gatherings as well. As much as you loathed having to see him during your vacations, you agreed that it was the right thing to do inviting him. His own family was awful and cruel, and he didn’t deserve that sort of treatment anytime, much less so close to the holidays. 

“You know the drill, Black. This room is yours now. It’s got a bathroom over there, and obviously you can use any of the soaps, shampoos, whatever you might need,” you told him, pointing to the attached bath beside his bedroom. “You can also use the wardrobes and the closets if you want to unpack the clothes you brought with you.”

You didn’t know why your parents assigned you the role of showing Sirius around the house when you could have been the one to show Remus around, as he was also staying at the house. James was off showing their tall friend around instead, and you envied him. Whenever you were with Sirius, you just felt so awkward. 

He was so handsome. He was charming and beautiful, with just enough snark to be interesting, but not enough to be rude. He was handsome but not so much he wasn’t manly and rugged. You had to stop yourself from staring at him as you walked him around the huge house you lived in for your entire life. 

He hummed, looking at you with those stunning brown eyes. “Your room is right beside mine?”

“Yes, not that that matters at all.”

“What if I have a bad dream and need someone to comfort me?” he asked with a smirk, and you just rolled your eyes. 

“You can go to James’ room if it’s that serious.”

He sat on his mattress and tested the softness, seemingly satisfied with it. He waved you over to sit beside him, and shockingly, you did as he asked, sitting yourself at the edge of the bed with your legs crossed. He looked all around the stunning dark blue room, complete with intricately painted curtains hanging from the windows and a quilted comforter on the bed beneath them. The ceiling was painted to mimic that of an observatory. It was actually one of your favorite rooms in the house, the observatory themed guest bed. You figured Sirius would like it as he spent a bit of time in the Astronomy tower on dates with random girls. 

“So…Your parents are always so nice,” he attempted to start a conversation, “I’m really grateful they let me stay here.”

“It’s really no problem. We have plenty of space, not to mention my mum is glad to make double the portions for Christmas dinner. She’s quite the chef,” you assured him. “She’s always asked me to have friends over for the holidays, she’s just happy you all are here.”

“What are the plans for today?”

“I was going to head to the village and get some gifts for everyone. I usually wait until the last moment, so I don’t have much time left, do I?”

“I’ll come with you.”

“What? No. I never said you were invited,” you argued, shaking your head. It was supposed to be your peaceful day out by yourself, or with Remus if he decided he wanted to go. You didn’t want to deal with Sirius Black trailing behind you flirting with everything that could breathe. Not to mention he would probably comment on all the things you picked out for everyone. “Y-You can’t come!”

“What would your mum think if she knew you weren’t being polite to your guests?” he teased, and you groaned, pressing a hand to your forehead. He was right. Your mother would certainly be upset to find that you excluded one of your “friends” from the festivities on purpose. “I guess you’ll stop by to get me before you leave, then?”

“Fine. I have to go get dressed and gather a couple of my things before we leave so I’ll come by in a little bit. I still have to find out if Remus wants to come, too,” you told him, standing from the bed and smoothing down your sweatpants.”

“Alright, Darling. Don’t be too long,” he called as you walked through the doorway, pretending you didn’t hear him so you wouldn’t have to reply. Your chest tightened a bit at the term of endearment he always used rather than call you by your name. It always made your heart jump and butterflies flutter in your stomach. If only he really meant it. He was just like that with everyone, regardless of how he felt about them. 

Sirius Black didn’t like you. He was a womanizing jerk who couldn’t settle down even if someone paid him to. He was selfish and inconsiderate with other people’s feelings.

You shut the door to his room and turned down the hall to find Remus and your brother, most likely in the other spare bedroom where Remus would be staying. You approached the room across from your brother’s and knocked on the heavy wood, waiting for a reply before twisting the knob.

“Come in,” James called, and you entered, peeking your head in to see Remus shuffling through his trunk while James laid across the king sized mattress. “What’s up?”

“I was just about to head into town to get some last minute shopping done. I wanted to know  if either of you wanted to come.” 

Remus shook his head. You frowned a bit when your brother also shook his head, indicating that neither of them wanted to accompany you. Normally, you wouldn’t care if you had to go by yourself, but without Remus or your brother that meant you would be alone with Sirius, and that was most definitely not preferred.

“James and I are gonna help your mum with some Christmas baking. She’s letting us decorate the sugar cookies,” Remus told you. You were a bit jealous at that. Decorating the sugar cookies was one of you favorite Christmas activities, but you figured Remus and your brother had it covered. You nodded. “Why? Did you need someone to come with you?”

“No, I’m fine going on my own. It’s just that Sirius invited himself along and I don’t want it to just be me and him…” You sighed.

“Pads isn’t that bad. I don’t know why you insist on being so cold to him. He’s a good friend to all of us, including you,” James told you, as if you didn’t already know that. Remus nodded, and gave you a look that said all you needed to know about his opinion on the matter. Remus hadn’t forgotten about the night you broke down crying, sobbing about how you so desperately had fallen in love with the raven-haired boy and he would never feel the same way for you. 

You turned on your heel to leave the room, waving goodbye to both boys as you shut the door behind you with a soft click. You headed back down the hall to your room, pulling open the door to your closet and sifting through the rack of clothes. You eventually settled on an outfit. 

You slipped on your skirt, a sweater, heavy winter coat, and boots thick enough to endure the snow fall outside. You weren’t consciously dressing to impress, but looking over your ensemble, you wondered if you just somehow managed to pick clothes that you knew would catch the eyes of a certain someone, that being Sirius Black. You tried to convince yourself you didn’t care about his opinion, but you most definitely did. You wanted to look beautiful to him, for him to actually notice you as something other than the sister of his best friend. 

As far as you could tell, he thought of you as a sister, a younger one that he could push around and tease as he pleased.

You shook your head, mentally cursing yourself for having such ridiculous thoughts. Sirius was just a friend, a close friend who you could even consider family, even if he annoyed you quite often. There was no reason to get all dressed up for him. You certainly tried to tell yourself that as you applied your eyeliner and smudged it the way you liked it. You definitely told yourself that when you put on your most shiny lip gloss that smelled like candied cherries. Just a friend.

You grabbed your wallet, shoving it into your jacket pocket before leaving your room and heading to the door beside yours. You knocked gently, hoping that maybe he might miss the sound and you could leave on your own. He didn’t though, as the door quickly opened and you were met by dark hair and eyes to match. He didn’t let you see, but his eyes scanned your figure and he gulped, swallowing down his gasp at just how well you looked in your casual clothes. 

“Are you ready, Black?” you asked, and he nodded. You started down the hallway of your home, working your way down the stairs and out the front door, waving to your father on the way. He sat in the living room, as usual, reading the Daily Prophet. Sirius waved as well, bidding a farewell to your dad politely. 

The town was only a couple minutes walk down the road from your house, so you didn’t bother apparating there. You stepped outside onto the crunchy white snow covering the ground, sighing at the feeling of the winter air blowing past your face. You loved winter. It was so beautiful, with the white covering all the trees and buildings in a winter wonderland sort of way. Christmas was your favorite holiday as well. 

“What do you plan on getting for everyone?” Sirius asked, catching up to you as you walked down the sidewalk. 

“Probably a new novel for Remus. I’ll get James some quidditch equipment, some pads or something since he’s wearing down the ones he had now,” you told him. “Maybe I’ll get my mum some new earrings. She likes pearls so probably something like that. My dad, I’m not so sure about. I’ll have to see what he likes when I get there.”

He nodded in agreement. “Anything for me?” he finally asked, and you actually laughed. He furrowed his brow and poked you in the arm. “Why is that funny?”

“Because you’re a pain in my ass, Black, and you want me to get you a Christmas present?”

“Well, that’s not very nice of you,” he said, and for a moment, you thought he might actually be a little offended. You turned your gaze to look up at him, only to see him smiling a bit with the corners of his lips. You scoffed, shoving his shoulder with your own.

“Oh, yeah, and what did you get me?” you asked him. 

“Nothing. All you deserve is coal for Christmas. Not even Santa Clause himself would bring a nasty girl like you anything.”

“You are so rude.”

“Only for you, sweetheart.”

The walk to town was quite peaceful actually. The two of you teased each other endlessly, but there was no real arguing, not like you would find yourselves in Hogwarts when he would flirt with everything that passed him by. He was corrigible when in a private setting like this. It almost felt like the two of you were on a date as you window shopped. 

You two even stopped at a cafe on your way around, you getting a sweet cauldron cake while he drank some butterbeer straight from the tap. 

He watched you closely as you eyed down certain displays in the windows, taking note of what you liked and what you absolutely hated. He was particularly interested when you stopped and admired a piece of jewelry, a necklace with a gold chain and setting for the heart shaped, pink stone in the center. You stared at it for longer than anything else in the entire town, and he took note of that. 

You noticed the way he admired the record store, with all the old 60’s records lining the aisles. He liked the wooden record player, saying that he’d never had one of the muggle contraptions, even though he thought they looked pretty cool. They were classy, he said, just like him. You could only roll your eyes with a smirk, finding his ego to be quite hilarious. He always acted so cocky but really he was just as insecure as the rest of you. 

You had grabbed a couple things for everyone, Remus, your brother, your parents. You considered it a productive day out as you walked back home. He carried your bags even though you told him not to. It was endearing, and you felt your heart skip a beat when you caught him in the corner of your eye looking down at you with that gentle look in his eyes, like he truly enjoyed spending his time with you, regardless of how much you complained. 

You bid him farewell when you entered the house, hurriedly grabbing your bags and rushing off to your room, locking the door behind yourself so you could throw yourself into bed, practically screaming into your pillows. Why was he so wonderful? Why did he make you feel so special, like you were the only girl that mattered in the entire world? It made you feel like shit knowing that’s probably how he went through so many girls at Hogwarts, endlessly flirting with them until they felt just like you did. 

You weren’t anything special, you thought. You were just like the dozens of other girls he’d romanced. It broke your heart.

____

Christmas morning had come, and you were ready in your pajamas that your mum provided you, saying that you had to wear them for the family photos. Personally, you felt a little old to be wearing a set of pajamas that matched those of your twin brother, but your mother insisted. You were the green and red plaid set as you left your room and headed down to the living room where the most grand Christmas stood with all the little gifts scattered beneath it. There were gifts from your parents to everyone, including your guests. 

Your brother showed up second, followed closely by Remus and Sirius, who were talking quietly with each other as they entered the room, only to shut up when they noticed you sitting there on the carpet beside the wrapped presents. You smiled so brightly Sirius thought it might blind him. 

He was quick to mock your outfit of choice though. “17 and still matching with your brother, Y/N? Aren’t you a little old for that?”

You scowled and brushed off his comment, knowing he was just being a pest for no reason. Your parents entered the room, your mother holding a plate of cookies decorated quite messily by your brother and friend. You couldn’t tell what the one you picked up was supposed to be, perhaps a stocking or a Santa hat, you weren’t sure. Not that it mattered, it tasted delicious regardless. 

You opened some of your gifts, the first one coming from your parents. A new polaroid camera that you had been asking for, wanting to take as many pictures of your friends and you during your final year at Hogwarts as possible. Remus had gotten you a new cardigan, and your brother got you some perfume he knew you were running out of. You hugged everyone after opening each gift, thanking them brightly for what they had gotten you. 

They thanked you for the gifts that you got them, even if they were last minute presents. They still loved them. It wasn’t until James was reaching further under the tree before he found a couple more boxes hiding in the low hanging branches. One was addressed to Sirius while the other, a tiny box was addressed to you. 

You picked up the last gift waiting for you under the tree, shaking it gently when you noticed it was Sirius’ handwriting. You suspected it might be a gag gift, something silly or prank-like. He didn’t say he was going to get you a gift at all, much less something meaningful. 

But then again, you said you weren’t getting anything for him either. So much for that. 

He tore open his last present, blinking when he saw what was in the box underneath. It was a beautiful, new cherrywood record player, the same one he was admiring in the village when you went to the record store earlier that week. He stared at the box, and then lifted his eyes to meet yours. You refused to look at him, far too embarrassed. He wasn’t supposed to know you were the one that bought it for him. It was addressed anonymously for that reason. 

“Y/N, I don’t know what to say,” he stumbled on his words for perhaps the first time ever since you met him. He struggled to find the right thing to say. All he could muster was a “Thank you”, staring down at his present in awe. 

Secretly, while he was off looking at records in the store, you’d asked an attendant to send the parcel through the mail to your home so you didn’t have to carry it all the way home. That way, Sirius didn’t know you bought it for him either. You wanted it to be a surprise.

“I saw you looking at it, so it only made sense to buy it for you,” you told him, trying to fight the flames threatening to rise in your cheeks. 

“Well, you should open your gift too,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck as you looked down at the tiny box in your hands. You untied the ribbon on top and set that on the floor beside you. Hesitantly, you opened the box, revealing the necklace you’d been eyeing down in the store the other day, the one with the pink stone and sparkly golden chain. 

You looked at the chain for a moment, gawking at how stunning it was before lifting your eyes to meet Sirius’ gaze. You opened your mouth to say something, anything really, but no words came out. 

James whistled, peering over your shoulder at the piece of jewelry. “Wow, nice one, Pads. It’s just her style, that’s for sure,” he commented. 

“Thank you, Sirius. It’s lovely.”

“It’s nothing really. It was the only thing you really seemed to like when we went to the village together.”

But it wasn’t nothing, really. It meant everything to you as you clipped it around your neck, taking a hold of the pendant and admiring it. When you looked up, your mother was trying to get photos of the two of you, motioning for you and Sirius to sit beside each other. You couldn’t say no to your mother, so you sat beside Sirius, maintaining space between you two until she urged him to wrap and arm around your shoulders. 

You felt strange pressed to his side, smiling for the camera. It felt different, being by his side in his arms like this, as a family. For a moment, everything felt so perfect. Him holding you in his arms, your mother smiling brightly at the two of you while your father and brother watched content. Remus watched from the sidelines with that knowing smile on his face, one that made you flustered at what he was proposing behind that grin. 

You felt the same that night, when you climbed onto the roof of your house, on the old shingles. You laid back on the roof, staring up at the half moon above you with a sigh. The necklace hung from your neck, and you didn’t think you would ever take it off. It was your favorite gift you’d ever received, if you were being honest.

The window beside you opened and there he was, sticking his head out the window to find you, tilting his head to the side. “Do you always come out here?” he asked, and you nodded. 

He climbed out his window and laid down beside you on the just slightly sloped tiles, folding his arms behind his head. “What do you want?” you asked, sounding a bit harsher than you wanted. You bit your tongue from saying anything else that might come out worse than you intended. 

“Nothing, just wanted to see what little miss Y/N was doing all on her lonesome. Just watching the stars, huh?”

“It’s one of my favorite things to do, after all.”

“I forgot. You’re a total astronomy nerd.”

“I just like the stars, the way things align just perfectly.”

He hummed. You couldn’t see, staring up at the sky, but he turned his head to face you, watching your profile as if it was the most gorgeous sight he’d ever behold. He wanted to roll over and kiss you, to hold your cheek in his palm and press his lips to yours, to taste your lip gloss and the hot chocolate you drank after dinner. He wanted to brush your hair behind your ear and fall deeper into your soul. He wanted to drown in everything about you. 

The necklace he bought you looked just right around your neck, and he was happy you were still wearing it. He wanted everyone to know that you were his girl, the one that he’d given his heart to. He could care less about all those other girls when he had you, if only you were within arm’s reach. 

“Do you think the stars will ever align for you? Give you everything you dream of?” he asked.

“I think we all have to work for what we want. The stars don’t control our destiny,” you replied softly. 

He looked back at the sky with a smile across his lips, finally feeling at peace after wishing for so long that you would let him have a moment with you where you weren’t trying to argue with him or run away like you usually did. “Wise words from a wise girl.”

“Wise? We’re talking about me, not Moony,” you laughed, “I’m just as lost in life as you are, Black.”

“I might be lost, but I do know one thing. I’m glad to be here with you.”

“And I’m glad you’re here, too.”

Part Two coming soon

[nalainterrupted]

“confessions”

𓂃 　౨𓎟𓎟　　♡⠀ 　𓎟𓎟ৎ　𓂃

bestfriend!ellie x reader

note: this fanfic is pretty small and based on experience👅

Ellie has been your friend since middle school. Now that you are in college studying medicine and Ellie wants to study astronomy, you don't see her as often because you attend different colleges.

However, she sometimes stays at your apartment.

A few weeks have passed, and you've felt different around Ellie, but it wasn't because of something she did. Maybe you were falling for her? you kept telling yourself. It was a weird feeling at first, but you tried to ignored it.

A few weeks have passed, and you've felt different around Ellie, but it wasn't because of something she did. Maybe you were falling for her? you kept telling yourself. It was a weird feeling at first, but you definitely liked her. You haven't seen Ellie in a while. Even though you texted her every day, you missed her touch, her warm hugs, and especially her gorgeous smile that makes her eyes glow.

One night, after you arrived at your apartment, you heard a knock on the door.

You opened it to find Ellie standing there, smiling as always. "What are you doing here?" you chuckled. "Just came by to see you," she replied. You noticed the guitar in her hands. Ellie was always passionate about playing her guitar, and you loved that about her. "Well then, come in. I can make dinner for us," you said as Ellie entered. "Let's get started then," she said, putting her things down to help you cook.

She wasn't the best cook, but she still loved to help you.

You cooked Alfredo pasta, which you both loved. As you served the pasta and started eating, you asked, "So, why'd you come by?" You asked "I just missed you." You felt your face slowly turn red when Ellie said that. "I missed you too, Els." you smiled. After a few minutes, you both finished your pasta. "You are actually the best cook," Ellie teased. "If you say so," you teased back.

A while later, you and Ellie were talking while lying on the carpet in your room. "So, do you have a crush on anyone right now?" Ellie inquired. You avoided meeting her gaze. Should I confess? you pondered silently. "So?" she asked again, waiting for an answer. "I do like someone," you said in a lower tone. "Can you at least describe them?" Ellie persisted. She wanted to know, so you decided to give in. She wouldn't know who it was if you just described the person you liked, right?

"Fine, well.." you looked at Ellie; she was staring at the ceiling while waiting for you to say something. "Well, she has freckles all over her face. She also has a beautiful smile that makes her eyes squint a little, and she's always wearing a bracelet." You couldn't help but chuckle while saying this; she was just so gorgeous that words couldn't fully capture it.

Ellie looked at you and whispered, “Why do I feel like you're describing someone I know?" She laughed. "Maybe because I'm describing you, idiot," you blurted out.

"Wait... do you like me?" Ellie sat up, looking you straight in the eye. You knew you couldn't lie, not when she was looking at you like that. "Well... shit, yes, I like you, Els." You looked away, unable to face her after that confession. "You can't just look away after saying that."

Ellie was a little surprised, but the signs had been rather obvious. "I'm sorry, I'm just... scared that you probably don't feel the same way, and I don't want to ruin things between us." You still didn't look at Ellie; you were just too nervous. "And who said I didn't feel the same way?" she said in a soft tone. "What?" Your gaze met Ellie's. "You... feel the same way?" The room felt tense, but that wasn't always bad. "I've been wanting to tell you, but I guess you did it for me." Ellie chuckled in a teasing manner. "I suppose I did," you laughed.

You and Ellie had been making eye contact for a few minutes, your faces getting closer until you sensed her lips meeting yours. Her touch felt warm and comforting, and you could feel your face flush. Ellie looked at you, half-smiling.

"You're blushing," she teased. "Oh, shut up!" you laughed.

[sweetbrier2908]

so i made a few edits on this little piece on ao3 and i decide that i will repost it on tumblr because why not? i genuinely love this piece a little bit too much, may post it 100 times a day if i can. so please enjoy. reblogs and comments are appreciated. really. thank you for reading!

you never say "i love you".

you can't.

not to them.

it almost slips out of your mouth sometimes.

like when lucifer gives you a kiss on the forehead while seeing you off at the front door.

like when mammon drags you to his bed after a long long day and gosh, his hug is a little too familiar for you to not push him away and cruelly tell him that you have to go home, this is not your home.

like when levi shows you his newest merchandise with those sparkling eyes and you just sit here watching him screaming non-stop about how hard to get this merchandise and how much he wants you to be the first one to see it.

like when you and satan wander around the town and he introduces you to every stray cat you two meet on the way with such an enthusiastic and loving voice and it never fail to surprise you how quick he gets along with all the cats.

like when asmo takes you out for shopping and keeps holding your hand like he was scared that you're going to get lost, i am much more familiar with devildom than you, you tease. but i can't risk losing my favorite jewel in the crowds, can i?, he replies when intertwining his fingers with yours.

like when beel tries to restrain his hunger just to save you the last bite of his favorite dessert and happily splits it into two only after you reassure him that you're not hungry, but still, he wants to share it with you.

like when belphie asks you to watch the astronomy show with him and falls asleep half way and uses your laps as his pillow while you're caressing his hair.

like all the damn time they whisper "i love you" to you.

do you love them? you' have been asking yourself that question for a long time, since you came to this world, this timeline. from the outside, they look exactly your demons. of course, silly you, of course they look the same, you know they are still your demons. lucifer is still an arrogant asshole, mammon is still your greedy golden retriever, levi is still that shut-in but not shut-down otaku, satan - well, satan is still trying figuring himself out, asmo still says that he loves himself more than anyone else (which his family know too well that is such a lie because he loves them so much he once gave up his angelic beauty), beel is still the family sweet heart and belphie is still the spoiled brat of the family. they're still they. the demons you love. they still call themselves "family". it's just that - you're not a part of that family anymore. are you?

reality hits you hard. every single damn time. you wake up everyday and you're not in that room with a fucking tree as your bed post. you wake up everyday and the kitchen is cold because solomon always wakes up late and you two don't have a thing called "breakfast duty". you wake up everyday and the house is quiet, and people call this place "cocytus hall" and not "house of lamentation". you wake up everyday and you ask yourself, is it okay if you loved them?

even it's a different timeline, even when you don't belong here, even maybe that they're not your demons? you love them.

but you can't say that. you can't say that when you are going to leave them sooner or later. you can't say that when you only accepted to be their attendant and spend time with them in order for you to return to your world. you can't say that when you know all too well that they are going to get mad, they are going to lock you and maybe kill you because the only thing that you did up until now is using them and hurting them. how can they accept that truth? how can you tell them you did all of that just so you can comeback to a world that they will forget about you and not because that you have already loved them so much, you would risk everything you have just so they could be happy in this cruel timeline?. you can't.

because there are the demons who desperately waiting for you to come back to them as much as you desperately waiting for time to come back.

because you love the demons in your own world a little too much for you to say that you love any different versions of them.

because maybe you love those demons whose voices and faces and personalities are so familiar that you don't want them to dive deeper in this.

because you're going to hurt them again and again until their hearts are all bleeding and their souls are dead.

because they will forget abut you when you leave. because you do love them, every version of them, you love them, in every world that they exist.

so you can't say "i love you".

but it almost slips out of your mouth sometimes.

[perseephoneee]

starlight [ficmas day 11] [peter parker x afab!reader]

�� masterlist ↳ ship exchange ↳ taglist ↳ ficmas 2024

author's note: we're in the home stretch of ficmas which means these will likely be shorter drabbles but HEY you'll get more of them.

playlist:

peter parker -- the sleepy haunts

thank you -- led zeppelin

cold december night -- michael buble

I. Gemini

"Do you think he realizes he's had Cheez-it crumbs stuck in his mustache this entire time?" you ask, twirling your pencil between your fingers. 

Peter narrowed his eyes at what you were looking at, which happened to be your Professor. To be completely honest, he had stopped listening to the lecture a while ago. 

"I don't think he notices."

"Ridiculous," you groaned, sinking back into your seat. "This class is ridiculous."

Peter stifled laughter. It was fall quarter at the local community college, and he had met the first day in Astronomy 101. He had to take an elective, and this one was the least likely to ruin his Spider-Man duties. You sat down right next to him on the first day and introduced yourself before offering him goldfish. It was a fast friendship. 

"You only have a few more weeks until winter break," Peter reminded you, trying to engage back with the lesson. You were doodling stars. 

"Ah, a few more weeks until hibernation." You grinned at Peter, one full of teeth and mischief. He felt his heart rate pick up, but he stamped it down. He couldn't get close to you, not like that. You resumed sitting normally in your seat. "Do you have plans for the holidays?"

"Uh…no," he tapped his notebook. He had been trying his best to ignore the holidays. They'd be the first ones without Aunt May. "My family isn't really in the picture."

"That's okay," you responded. "Mine aren't either."

Peter respected how understanding you could be. You never pushed him to open up, even if you did push him to engage with the world outside. You never asked why he'd sometimes be covered in cuts and bruises. You just handed him a bandaid and told him about some puppy you saw walking over the class. He wonders if you knew how amazing you could be. 

"What do you want for Christmas, Pete?" you inquired. You pulled a bag of goldfish out of your backpack and offered some to him. He took a few. 

My Aunt. Ned. MJ. Mr. Stark. My life, Peter wanted to say. He bit his tongue, thinking of an answer. 

"Maybe a soldering station."

"Nerd," you teased, but there was no venom behind it. "I want Drew Starkey at my doorstep."

"How's that going for you?"

"Awful," you sighed, and Peter couldn't help but laugh. A few rows looked over to glare at you two. You flipped them all off. Students started getting up at that moment, and class ended. You stretched, your bones cracking in the process. "Let's go get pho; it's freezing outside."

Peter didn't even really like pho, but you liked it, so he'd go. He'd go wherever you asked. 

II. Canis Major

Knock knock. Knock knock. 

Peter groaned, shuffling out of bed. There was someone knocking on his window. He had a good feeling about who that someone was. 

You were sitting on his fire escape, breathing on the glass of his window and drawing obscene images with your finger. He opened the window to your grin. 

"It's four in the morning," Peter groaned, rubbing his eyes. 

"Put on your business clothes; there are shooting stars that can be seen at Battery Park."

"Astronomy class is over; we're on break now."

"And stars are beautiful. Beauty should be appreciated," you said, shoving your hands in your pockets. You were wearing a scarf and mittens, your hair pushed back with your beanie. Peter didn't know how long you'd been out there. "I appreciate you, don't I?"

Sometimes, Peter hated you because you said things like that, which made his ears red and his words stop working. He thinks you continued to say them because of that reaction. 

"I'll get dressed."

"Atta boy."

He put on his warmest clothes and followed you down the fire escape. You had brewed coffee at home and handed him a thermos. You were always prepared; that much was sure. On the subway, it would only take half an hour on the E to get to Battery Park. It was basically empty when you guys got on. You sat in companionable silence as you rode the distance. 

Peter was slightly more awake by the time you got off the subway, the cold air helping with his drowsiness. You were annoyingly perky for the early morning. He followed you up one of the hills to an alcove of trees. You had brought a backpack with you, which you pulled a blanket out of, and some hand warmers. Peter sat down next to you as you stared at the sky with the energy of a kid on Christmas. 

"Aren't you excited?" you whispered.

"I'll be excited when I'm dead."

"I forget how snarky you are when you're tired," you frown. Peter chuckles because he doesn't think you're used to someone being as witty as you are. You grab his arm when the first shooting star appears. He has to admit that it's beautiful and insane. It was a meteor shower in the flesh, and you both sat peacefully and watched the stars crash by. You leaned against Peter, your warmth finding solace in his own. You smelled like fresh coffee and winter mornings. You turned to him, face so close to his own. "Make a wish, Parker."

Peter could've wished for a whole lotta things, but for some reason, he settled on more moments like these. He wondered what you wished for. 

You both stayed until the sun started to rise. 

"Will you come and spend Christmas with me? It's just my Dad, and he has to work the night shift."

Peter said yes because he could never say no to you. 

III. Orion

You and your Dad prepared roast ham with scalloped potatoes and steamed vegetables for Christmas dinner. Peter didn't remember the last time he had a home-cooked meal. 

He liked your Dad, even if he was intimidating. He was the police chief, so he was intimidating, but he also had a fatherly warmth that didn't make him seem scary. Peter thought he probably wouldn't be upset to be arrested by him. 

Your Dad had to run to the station for Christmas shenanigans and left you and Pete with some dessert that he bought at the bakery down the street. Currently, Peter is on dishwashing duty. You were sipping some wine that you found in a cabinet and leaning against the lip of the sink. Peter was soaping up one of the pans. 

"I got you a gift," you say, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Peter groans.

"I told you not to."

"I'm not a good listener."

"I knew that much," Peter mumbles. You laugh, squeezing his arm as you walk to the living room behind him. You come back a second later with a ribbon-tied package. Peter dries his hands. "You really shouldn't have."

"I like giving gifts," you shrug. "Now open it."

He does. It's a series of pocketbooks about different mathematical theories. He's embarrassed about how excited he is about them. Peter hugs you as a thank you. 

"I got you something as well."

"Now, who's not a good listener?" you said matter of factedly. Peter goes to his bag, grabs a haphazardly wrapped package, and hands it to you with a blush on his cheeks. You take apart the wrapping delicately, even though it's badly done. You let out a squeal of delight as you see what it is. "A cat!"

"A robotic cat. It'll purr if you pet it," Peter explains, showing the inner workings of the cat. He used the college's engineering lab for their 3D printer, soldering station, and electronics supplies. He knew you wanted a pet, but your apartment wouldn't allow it. You cuddled the boxy creature to your chest. 

"It's perfect," you hummed. You put the cat down and kissed Peter on the cheek. His cheek still burned after the fact, and suddenly, he wanted to tell you everything. You had been his only friend since everything happened. You were the most understanding person he knew. And he was so tired of hiding everything. 

“Y/N?”

"Hmm?"

"Can I tell you something?" Peter coughed. He looked down at your hands, which you were holding. He didn't even recognize you grabbed his hands after you kissed his cheek; he was so focused on the latter. You nodded, brows furrowed, telling him to continue on. The words were mush in his throat, but he pushed through anyway. 

"I'm Spider-Man," he stuttered. He expected you to freak out, to demand answers. You just blinked at him. 

"I know."

"You know?"

"I'm perceptive," you shrugged. He was dumbfounded. "You're cute when you're confused." He was even more dumbfounded. You stepped backward, pulling him towards your room. "I have a secret too."

Peter was now in a state of shock since it seemed that you already knew his biggest secret. He had no idea what to expect in your room. A secret drug stash? A collection of Beanie Babies? He had no idea. You opened your closet and rifled through the bottom before pulling out something white and pink. Then you proceeded to thoroughly wreck his mind. 

You thwipped a web, closing the door. 

Peter's jaw dropped.

"I may or may not be Spider-Woman."

You stood in silence. 

"You're WHAT?"

[nyxshadowhawk]

The Ars Notoria!

This is one of the grimoires of the Solomonic tradition of ceremonial magic. The Ars Notoria is technically part of the Lemegeton, but sometimes it’s treated as a separate text. I was expecting it to be in Latin, so I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was in English — very readable English, and in beautiful handwriting! It’s a translation of earlier Latin versions, but it has the feel of a personal Book of Shadows. A human wrote this. There are lines crossed off, words squeezed into the margins or added with little carrots.

This book is a great example of the fact that there’s a very fine line between a prayer and a spell. It mostly consists of a series of prayers and psalms, but it has some “voces magicae”-esque recitations of sacred names or multilingual incantations.

Did you know that hydromancy, pyromancy, and chiromancy count amongst the Liberal Arts? The Solomonic grimoires really make it clear how much magic is intertwined with the Liberal Arts (i.e. mathematics, philosophy, theology, grammar, rhetoric, astronomy, etc.). Many of the demons listed in the Ars Goetia teach these subjects (no wonder Faust was a scholar). The Ars Notoria says that you have to study certain liberal arts on specific days, just as you have to perform rituals on specific days and during specific planetary hours and so forth. And recite long mystical incantations before studying philosophy. Just like folk spells, these long prayers are supposed to have specific magical effects, like improving your memory and speech.

The Ars Notoria isn’t nearly as exciting as the Ars Goetia. I only found two magical figures in it. It took me way too long to realize that the mystical figures that surround the second one are, in fact, the alphabet. I guess that’s what you get when your grimoire is in English? Well no, actually. That figure actually demonstrates a handy spell that uses a magnetized needle (that’s what the symbol in the middle is meant to represent) to communicate with a friend at a long distance, using a method similar to an ouija board or one of those pendulum boards that you can get. As the needle turns, it spells out the message that your friend wants to send to you. Kind of interesting that this book includes a whole magical operation for something that we can do with our phones in an instant, and with much greater accuracy.

I looked up who Bernard Zufall was. Zufall was known for his ability to memorize anything, and had the largest collection of books dedicated to mnemonics, which was then donated to Yale University. He was more of a stage magician than a ceremonial magician. I’m not sure how or why he acquired an Ars Notoria, but I’m grateful that he did, because that means I get to see it.

[padfootastic]

“are you frustrated with me?” “never.” with prongsfoot please and thank you <3

hello! thank u for the ask (and waiting) <33 i hope u like this, because i’m so so happy with how this turned out 🙈

x

James finds him on the top of the Astronomy Tower, sitting atop the parapet in a way that makes his heart skip a beat even now, despite the fact that he should’ve gotten used to it. There’s a half gone cigarette in his hand and the ashes of several more all around him. Sirius’ lips are dry and cracked, his eyes drooping. James immediately casts his usual set of safety charms. As expected, that grabs Sirius’ attention.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Saving your skull from being turned into a pancake for the Hippogriffs.”

“Did I ask you to do that?” Sirius’ voice is sharp, a knife’s edge of bitterness and malice. (Though perhaps only James can sense the hollowness in it, see the performance he’s putting on)

“No, but I’ve done it anyway. Bully for you, Pads,” James shrugs, tucking his wand back into its holster. His posture is loose, unconcerned and he knows his nonchalance is only feeding into Sirius’ aggression. At least for now, when he needs to be angry to feel anything, needs that fire to remind him he’s still alive.

“Why are you here, anyway?” Sirius asks, turning his face away to exhale a puff of smoke. It makes James smile, though he hides it with a quick swipe of his palm, because even in this moment, with all the violence in the world itching to bubble out, Sirius still refuses to smoke around him, knowing his distaste for it.

“Just wanted to check up on you. See what you were doing.” James moves forward, until he’s almost within touching distance. It’s what allows him to see the twisting of Sirius’ features—a haunting sort of pain and agony painting a terrible picture with his beautiful features.

“I’ll do what I want, James,” Sirius sneers, face still turned away as if he can’t bear to look him in the eye while doing it, “and you can’t stop me.”

“Do you see me trying?” James asks, simply. That takes the wind right out of Sirius’ sails. James is used to this routine by now—having to prick the balloons of self righteous indignation and testiness and defensive anger that Sirius has around him in times like this. The trick, he’s learned, is to not take anything personally. Sirius has the ability to verbally destroy a person, leave his remains charred and smoking without looking back at the consequences of his actions. It helps him cope, expelling the ugliness that routinely builds inside him by directing out outwards. Sometimes, it’s some poor sod who didn’t sign up for being target practice being caught in the middle of it. More often than not, it’s James, though by his own volition.

Sirius tries, has been doing so since the moment they met, to protect him from this side of him—to shield him from the rough edges his family carved into him. It’s just his luck that James refuses to play along.

It’s that knowledge that pierces Sirius’ haze right now, as he knew it would, as it always does. Slowly, the anger melts into something softer, more contrite. The cigarette gets stubbed under his foot as he turns fully toward James, eyes downcast.

“Are you frustrated with me?” he asks in a whisper. James smiles at the action, the direct contrast from all his bluster mere minutes ago.

“Never.” He holds one hand out, facing up. It only takes a second before Sirius places his own in it, palm cold and desperately tight. James only pulls him tight, pressing a firm kiss to his temple, letting his actions speak louder than his words ever could.

[catihere]

I hope I'm not distracting you from some important things, but I have some questions for you :)

I will be glad if you answer.

1. What songs do you associate with Kore?

2. What do you think of her friendship with Ethan?

3. Do you have any other headcanons about her?

4. Who do you think her second love could be?

5. What would they say about her in the camp if they found out that Kronos has an oracle and an adviser? [given that they know very little about her, she is most likely a girl and she sees the future. I don't think the camp will even know her name.]

6. What do you think she thinks about her brother Hal Green and how does she feel about him?

7. How would the Apollo cabin treat her if she could still meet them?

@kore-pythia-hayashi

OMGGG!! Thank you so much for the ask. I really love your character and I’m glad you’re interested in my opinions on her. So, let’s see…

1. There are a good bunch of songs that remind me of Kore. In fact, I was working on a playlist for her, and some songs I included are Class of 2013 by Mitski (her, Ethan’s and Alabaster’s song I think), Astronomy by Conan Gray, Family Line by Conan Gray, Army Dreamers by Kate Bush, Two birds by Regina Spektor, Goodbye my danish sweetheart by Mitski, Second child, restless child by the Oh Hellos. There might be more, but I can’t remember them at the moment.

2. Kore’s and Ethan’s friendship is my Roman Empire you don’t even know. They understand each other in a very special way, they have a certain complicity and closeness established by their similar (and deeply unfortunate) fates. They both bear the knowledge of their final martyrdom, but manage to find a bit of solace in each other, knowing that they’ll end up in similar ways. Kore tries to act as a beacon to Ethan, to advise him and pull him from some of his distorted views, sometimes not realizing that she’s on a similar track as him… Ethan sympathizes with her, attemps to help her however he can, sometimes feeling guilty for burdening her with his own struggles. To sum it up, yes, they’re both sad, angry and tragic, and they bond over this. (Oh, I also like the detail of their shared Japanese heritage. A lot of cute things that could spring from that)

3. Hmmm…A lot of headcanons I’ve already highlighted in my art. But I have to mention that she’s clearly a big animal lover and has helped Chris and Alabaster sneak some pets onto the ship before… yes, it’s a long story. I have an unposted fic about it…

I also have a feeling that her eyes would be particularly eerie, beautiful, but strange at the same time. I imagine her irises being a bit larger than a mortal’s, with pupils that fade into the rest of her eye. And her eyes are a striking, icy blue, contrasting with the warmth of her body.

Also! She stima by braiding and unbraiding her hair. Just a little thought :>

4. I’ll have to restrain myself from speculating on this. I feel like it would be a very big part of her arc to gain the courage to love somebody after the tragedy of Callum, and only you, her creator, are in measure to decide who.

5. Word would pass very quickly around camp. There would be a certain distain against her, as “traitors” are not quite aprecciated among the campers. But there would also be sympathy, and interest. Who is this girl? Who made her join the Army? Did Luke manipulate her, too? And why is she one of the extremely few demigods with prophetic abilities? She’d be quickly tracked back to the Apollo cabin, as they’re the only ones known to have a slight foreseeing of the future. And some people might try to gain information about her from the other children of Apollo, but obviously with no success.

6. I’m sure that she’s compassionate of Hal Green and his fate, admirative of his sacrifice and extremely close to her brother despite never meeting him. But there’s also a sense of uncertainty surrounding Halcyon… Could have he done anything differently, to prevent the death of so many children? No, no is the most realistic answer, but there’s still something about the wicked game of fate that defined his life that unsettles Kore. In any way, Halcyon deserved better, so much better, and knowing his story might have been one of the aspects that started Kore’s fury at the god’s unfairness.

7. Well… it depends what moment they would have met her. Most likely a mix of empathy for her situation and lack of trust due to her history with Kronos. How could she go against her own siblings?

Wow, this post got really long… I really hope you enjoy my answers and that they were worth the wait 💛

[blissfullybloomed]

Beauty in the Stars

It's Sunday! 

Yeah, it's been a few weeks. Been busy, living this beautiful life I've curated for myself. 

Speaking of beautiful…my boyfriend and I went to the John Glenn Astronomy Park last night- we saw Starlink(Elon Musk’s satellites),  a shooting star with a full moon, in the back of his truck, and lots of blankets! Then we fell asleep….Im swooooooning!  I'm in love y’all! I have always been in love with love. I love this part. The honeymoon phase…the ooey gooey, the fluff, la la land…etc. Whatever you want to call it…I love it! The cute thoughtful gifts(wildflowers and legos), the romantic sweet things(our bubble),how he still gets nervous sometimes, and how I hope to god nothing is in my teeth when I smile, the safety to be weird, the comfortable silences where you get lost in each other, and the moments that legit take your breath away. All the firsts you get to experience with one another. Yeah, good things come to those who wait- and baby I've waited patiently for you. 

Speaking of good things, and waiting…professional life is going great too! The work at the chiropractors office is teaching me more and more why I stepped into the field of Massage Therapy when I did. Doctors are SOOOO fast to prescribe medications to someone when it only affects the superficial layer of things rather than the root issue. Chiropractic care is essential, and it's holistic(no meds required- use your body to heal your body), Massage Therapy is holistic self care. Massage and Chiro go hand in hand…and it's pretty cool I can use my education I have received with professionals in the healthcare industry. Very cool. 

Hand & Stone is cool too…I've made a lot of cool friends(them young ones), and they speak in a completely different language sometimes. It just solidifies the fact that I am OLD. Its okay, my life is incredible. I'm good with it. Per!

So , yeah life is just grande. 

One part that is new and not so grande is the fact that I am still learning things about my past, and learning how to accept and move on from certain things. I'm almost to the point of just not asking questions anymore…and just living in ignorance. I think ignorance is bliss sometimes. Bliss in the sense of ... .What does learning a certain new thing do for me in MY future? Do I need to know? I feel like I need to know how to process, and move on…but now…I'm not even sure what's left to process. I was told horrific lies about someone very important in my life my entire childhood, by someone who I knew was toxic. I chose to believe the toxicity anyways…I had to latch to some truth…and the only truth I was being told was lies. How would I know that in the moment…that it was lies? I wouldn't..we wouldn't. We didn't know. We just didn't know man. We were kids. No one told us otherwise. We lived our life believing a lie, and hating the man who told us the lie. Brainwashing is a powerful thing. Especially on the young mind. 

Anyway, conversations are still looming about…and I think…I think I'm over it. I'm over the noise, the chaos, the unsettling information, the blame, and the hurt. I have been over it for a long time actually…I just wanted closure, and I sure as shit got it. After 20 plus years , I got the facts I wanted. The information wasn't what I wanted - but I got it. Thank you for giving me closure. You were the last one I needed it from. The last one. No one is left for me to heal through. Holy crap does that feel good to type. 

So now what?! We live. We live in the beauty that is our life. I didn't get here by myself at all…so thank you to those involved.

“Every once in a while, things will get you down…just don't forget to look up. There is beauty in the stars”- Victoria Bloom 

[theressomethinghappeninginparis]

I might have not posted the othe page of the entry...let me explain. It might have gotten a bit...over the rails. Not only in the legal sense- I have so much information it took me a while to note down and plan my next steps. What I need to do:

Find out if Carvier had any contact to Lara Croft and why

I need to check on nephilim (which I did, research ahead)

Find a way to access Werner's books, or notes, or anything. I know he has been murdered. I know the crime scene is taped and locked by the police. Yet I doubt it's been surveillanced 24/7.

So, here's way too much on Nephilim. Transcript of the first and second page:

Nephilim were children of human mothers and angelic fathers. The Bible mentions them in several books. I will write down the most important notes, the full text is in the photos.

GENESIS 6:1-4 Nephilim are referred to as "sons of god", implying they are all male and on a level of Christ and/or human beings. It is claimed they were on earth during human times and will be afterwards, and will have children with other human women.

The women would choose the angels as mates. Sometimes they are mentioned as "heavenly beings" and "sons of the heavens".

Nephili would exist even after the flood with Moses, so flooding the earth would mean flooding the humans, too. Maybe the text wasn't aware of the flood, or the Nephili came back to earth afterwards.

Transcript of the third and fourth page:

GENESIS 7:1-11 The daughters of Nephilim were claimed to be elegant and beautiful, and again, they talk about mating with human beings. Their leader was apparently called Shamyaza and the other angels swore to follow his guidance.

Their number is mentioned as 200 as they went down mountain Armon. Several names of them are receited and also that the human women then brought down giants, the Nephilim.

Transcript of the fifth page:

Here's a contradiction: in Genesis, the Bible claims the women chose the angels; later, no one cared about consent anymore and women had no choice. Again, brilliant misogyny by religion, isn't it lovely.

The angels contemplate their plan and their leader offers to suffer all by himself since he cannot "restrain" his fellow angels from their "desires" (I'm puking, thank you). They decend and cross God's no-no plan of interfering with humans.

Transcript of the sixth and seventh page:

There are almost no old depictions of Nephilim, I printed the only ones I could find out. Here I had some observations:

This background is oddly similar to medieval European castles. I am unsure what it has to do with Nephilim, but I'll check on it.

Here I think are shackles/some kind of restraining device. Nephilim are mighty, why would they accept restrainment? Does the castle have to do anything with it? Does it contain them perhaps?

In this drawing the skull has ears or something that looks like it. Is it another organ or do they own bonified ears??

Here the skull is strangely elongated. Nephili were giants, but I suspect there might be a mistranslation and only their head was longer. Could that be?

Transcript of the ninth page (the eight is missing, I'm sorry):

The book Enoch doesn't only list that women were the epitome of evil for Christianity, but also their forbidden knowledge: enchantments, making of weaponry, astronomy, herbology, meteorology, astrology, moon phases and interpretations of the sun, stars and moon.

The word "Nephilim" has a history, it has several meanings in Hebrew:

to fall (to the ground)

to fall (in battle)

to be cast down

to desert to a location

to fail.

The -im means plural, thus one is translated as "the fallen ones", "the deserted ones", "the failed ones".

Transcript of the tenth page:

The third depiction I found is the most accurate. The language used there I have never seen (which doesn't mean much), so I shall look it up. Maybe even translate it.

The arms of them look like flesh, their insides too. They are- although being shape shifters- human like. Their spine produces three bones on each side, it could be several wings or something similar, although wings of birds need at least two bones.

Again, this drawing is showing the figure with a semi-human like skull and it is again chained to a wall or at least restricted in a way. The thing or person doing that must have been capable of taking it on with sons of God. Who would do that? Or, maybe was the simple act of drawing too much to handle and one had to secure the drawing from getting cursed? Who knows.

I have a bucket list of things to do, it's getting bigger than I imagined. I simply want to know if Lara Croft did what she is accused of and now I write about half-angels...yeah, I think I might have blown this up. So, my endless tasks are as follows: figure out the language, search for a similar castle and text Carvier again about Nephilim and if she happened to have talked to Lara Croft.

[kiigan]

«Smart choice. It does smell wonderfully.»

ㅤNone of this was a lie, either. It might be a silly situation, practically fallen from the skies above and in the complete absence of logical context, borderline an improvised comical sketch, but Itachi's praise was entirely earnest. Her hair did smell very nice, even with the lingering scent of the previous night's excess tangled with the shampoo, and it felt quite soft under his touch never mind the knots here and there. Knots that he would gladly undo for her, just as much [to be said of many things, that day]. And if the praise was improving Sakura's mood whilst so subliminally capturing her attention? Then all the better. Two weasels birds with one stone.

ㅤIt was curious, even, because... although the intention had come from a platonic place, help a friend because you care for the friend, at the same time it was also causing the gears in Itachi's head to turn. If there were romance experts on this earth he certainly was not one of them, but even he was not fully clueless. What was romantic love, at the end of the day? He refused to reduce it to sex and carnal pleasure, although he also wouldn't judge others who only sought that and nothing else. To each their own, and all that. From his perspective, however, there were two very particular things necessary for a true bond: be able to trust your partner without reserve and be able to connect with said partner in a deep and meaningful way. Then, yes, the added bonus of physical attraction, of course. A tasty [and why not spicy?] cherry on top of the wholesome cake.

ㅤAnd was Sakura too distant from any of those relationship goals, to call it so crudely? The two of them could not really be called childhood friends, something more along the lines of... childhood acquaintances? Childhood kind-of neighbors, in a way? Childhood you go to class with my little brother and I see you sometimes and we greet each other casually? Meanwhile, at present, they had not been close friends for too long a time, either. Yet, Itachi could say that he did trust Sakura without hesitation - and, hopefully, she did trust him back in equal amount. And how many times their purely professional check-ups, visit just for the sake of having your body temperature and heart rate monitored, had turned into chatting comfortably for an hour or two, changing impressions and opinions about topics that ranged from medicine to biology, from astronomy to physics, from village gossip to global politics? Not to mention, even in the absence of conventional sight, he was well aware of how much she'd changed with the years. That same soft and cute hair, the beautiful features of her face, the piercing green eyes, her shapely figure. One would have to be blind, and more than literally so, to not realize how attractive Sakura was.

Ah, seemed like he had more to think about later than firstly anticipated.

ㅤMuch later because, at the moment, that tiny little bubble of distraction was painfully burst the moment the bone was finally tended. Shifting, Itachi held Sakura's good hand with both his own, letting her squeeze at will - it wasn't like he could do much else to help with what he imagined to be excruciating agony, alas. One of those unfortunate things that had to feel much worse before it could start getting better for good. Trying his best to not smile at Sakura's threat to have her students write a report on the situation, then, because that would have been such a Captain Uchiha thing to do, he kept to himself a bit longer and only assumed a more informal stance again once the two young nurses left. No doubt, to go cry in a corner and rethink their professional life choices, but that much was out of his hands now. Shifting yet again, Itachi straightened himself up on the bed to 'look' at Sakura.

ㅤ«Done now? I suppose later we could sit together and write down a list with far more elaborate insults, but there are more pressing matters at the moment.» With a smile that spoke volumes both of how he would be glad to write said list [writing lists, one of the best things in the world!] and, at the same time, never allow Sakura to use it on herself, he reached with a finger to boop her nose with possibly frightening precision for a blind person. The forehead pokes might be reserved for Sasuke only, but Itachi was nothing if not resourceful - plenty of similar gestures to offer, just as lovingly. «Let me help with the situation, then - the same way you've been helping me all this time, and I'm not talking about the check-ups and meds only. Let me stay over and take care of you? And, of course, if you ever feel like my care is not up to standards, you're free to fire me at any moment. And to demand I also write you a ten-page report. Times New Roman, size 12, and double-spacing is the formatting I used to demand from my team operatives, but just let me know what you prefer.»

Sakura did feel so much more relaxed with Itachi’s arm around her waist, and him just being close to her. It made her feel safe and secure but didn’t save the nurses from her going teacher mode on them. She wasn’t being hard on them in a mean spirited way but in a way that she wanted to push them to perform at their very best. But also… She wasn’t used to having herself be worked on. Normally, she can heal and do everything herself. It put her on edge to have to rely on other people to heal her.

She was taken completely by surprise when Itachi’s face leaned in so close to hers. Sakura could feel his warm breath on her cheek making her once stern expression turn to one of fluster. Her cheeks growing red in response,

“E-eh??”

Her attention was completely pulled away from the nurses like he planned. Sakura was always so easily distracted but even more so with him. Especially with him being so close to her. His face inches from hers. It made her heart skip a beat and reminded her how much she was attracted to him, “I… I have actually…” Sakura stammered a bit, “I-i found a new brand that I liked the smell of and it makes my hair feel super soft.” She didn’t think it was that noticeable. 

Her gaze was completely pulled away from the nurses when he cupped her cheek, turning her head to look only at him. Focusing on how close he was instead of on what the nurses were doing. Sakura could just about melt when she felt his fingers brush through some of her hair, his free hand lacing his fingers with her good hand. For a moment, the entire world just melted away and it was just them, “I… I would like that, actually… I-i suppose I did let my hair become a mess.” And she always loved it when someone brushed and played with her hair.

Seeing that this was their opening, the nurses went straight to work. Acting fast, they shoved Sakura’s bone back into place with a CRACK! Sakura yelped out, “F-fuck! Y-you were supposed to numb me first!!” Her hand squeezed Itachi’s tightly, and her eyes teared up a bit,

“Sorry doctor!! I-i forgot!!” The blonde nurse stammered, panicking a bit. It was clear Sakura made them both a nervous wreck. They quickly used their chakra to ease Sakura’s pain, and refused the one back together so it could heal normally. Then they bandaged Sakura’s arm up in protective wrapping to hold it all in place,

“You both are sooo lucky I’m injured or I’d have you both writing me ten page essays on what you did wrong here.” Once it was over, Sakura pulled her injured arm back close to her chest. The two nurses knew they were in for it when Sakura recovered, 

“A-ah… D-doctor, you need to wear the sling too for at least a few weeks…” The brown haired nurse nervously approached her, “Can I please put it on you?”

“Ugh, fine.” Sakura looked displeased but allowed the nurse to put her arm in the sling and have it wrapped over her neck,

“How am I supposed to do anything like this?” Everything was going to be so much more difficult with only one arm to work with. Working was out of the question for now but she couldn’t help but think of all the mundane things that were going to be so much harder. Cleaning, cooking, bathing, getting dressed, and so on. She didn’t realize how often she needed to use two hands for everything. This sucked.

“You both can go now. Please tell Shizune that I will be needing her to take my place for a while. If an emergency comes up, fetch me immediately.” 

“Yes Doctor!” Both nurses said, quickly packing their bags, and leaving. Not wanting to remain longer under the hard gaze of their boss,

“I’m such an idiot for putting myself in this situation!” Sakura let out a defeated sigh, once again punching down on herself over a simple accident and moment of weakness.

[primordialgod]

;;headcanon

She has spent countless years visiting versions Europe during late antiquity and medieval times. Because of that, she doesn't really speak/think/act like someone raised in the 21st century anymore.

A few examples:

She tends to use older words. She slips into the older forms of most languages without meaning to or noticing most of the time.

She hates packaged foods, foods with lots of preservatives, anything from a can, all sodas, etc. It literally makes her sick.

She hates individualism, capitalism, consumerism, the urban sprawl/suburbia, the modern day workforce/grind and hustle attitude, the nuclear family unit being considered the only 'correct' family setup, basically everything about the U.S.A., social media, modern day beauty standards, etc. She's always disliked those things but overtime has grown to hate it all. She also thinks the Protestant Reformation, the Enlightenment, and the Industrial Revolution were steps in the wrong direction.

She hates Henry VIII because he was responsible for the dissolution of monasteries.

Her favorite Byzantine Emperor is John II Komnenos.

She met Charlemagne on an alternate version of Earth and set him on fire. She killed him because he had an ugly soul (he ordered the massacre of 4,500 Saxons in October 782). He died thinking she was an avenging angel.

She has and will fight the Vatican and the Pope. She's killed a few Popes in several alternate universes. She personally killed Pope Urban II (known as Odo of Châtillon) before raiding the Vatican; he's the Pope who began the Crusades. She has killed many of the principal leaders of the Crusades.

One of the very few popes she actually does like is Pierre Roger / Pope Celment VI. He was the pope during the Black Plague and tried to make people stop blaming Jewish people for the plague.

She'll defend medieval times. She'll correct people's misconceptions of the middle ages. Doesn't matter who you are, if you say something wrong about medieval times she'll be ready to fight.

A few examples:

If someone claims people in the "dark ages" / Early Middle Ages were stupid (they're called the "dark ages" because we don't have many records or primary sources from the time period). People were always learning things, building things, and making discoveries. Or if someone claims that the Church was against education/science (both were supported! monastic schools and cathedral schools were a thing. look up trivium (grammar, logic, rhetoric) and quadrivium (arithmetic, astronomy, music, geometry). medieval universities came after monastic and cathedral schools.

(everything below is mostly either copy-pasted from various sites or taken from the book Daily Life in the Middle Ages by Paul B. Newman)

The idea that people didn't bathe. It is a commonly repeated belief that bathing was considered sinful during the Middle Ages. This is not entirely true; what the Church disapproved of was not bathing, but bathhouses, which were holdovers from the Roman Empire, and not without reason. In Greek and Roman times, bathing was a social activity when people would go to public bathhouses and gymnasiums not just to keep clean, but to relax, socialize with peers, and also to engage in prostitution. These were seen as places of decadence, with opponents describing them as brothels in all but name (and this being Ancient Rome and Greece, would have involved homosexuality as well). The fact is many people in the Middle Ages did bathe, but mostly at home or in streams. It was actually after the Middle Ages in the supposedly "enlightened" Renaissance and the Early Modern Period that bathing and hygiene standards declined.

In Russia, where the forests were so abundant that even now there are moose on the prowl in downtown Moscow sometimes, the concept of weekly bathing pretty much never died. It was one of the reasons why the Black Death outbreaks were relatively weak there. Well, that and the general lack of enormous concentrations of people in the filthy cities — Russian cities always were more spread out.

That and the climate was not friendly to the primary disease vector, the Oriental Rat Flea, which required a warmer climate, even during the Medieval Warm Period, when the Black Death occurred.

The misconception that women had no rights. Women could inherit, buy and sell property, run a business, and had many legal rights. The vast majority of people in the Middle Ages worked the land, and women were just as active as men in agricultural activities. But we do know of women who were also writers, artists, and active as tradespeople in a family business. Women could be educated. Noblewomen and nuns, in particular, had access to books and were often literate. Women were also trained in domestic skills like sewing. However, education for both women and men tended to be limited to the upper classes and the clergy.

Some medieval buildings such as palaces, monasteries, and some houses in the cities did have plumbing systems with leaden pipes and bronze taps that provided running water. A few even had boilers to provide flowing hot water. These buildings also usually had sanitation systems, including indoor latrines. However, many buildings, including most private residences, did not have these features and their occupants had to draw and carry their water from wells and rivers. If they needed hot water, they had to heat it up in a cauldron or other large cooking pot. As for waste removal, they had to use outhouses or, in towns and cities, communal latrines rather than en suite facilities. Thus, in those buildings in which plumbing was minimal or nonexistent, the residents relied on pitchers, pans, wooden tubs, and buckets rather than on permanent fixtures such as water faucets, sinks, and bathtubs for conveying and containing water needed for cooking and cleaning.

The Roman technique of constructing raised flooring and using the space underneath the floor (called a hypocaust) as a conduit for warm air from furnaces disappeared with the collapse of the empire. In most of Europe, people resorted to using braziers (small charcoal or wood-burning grills made of metal or pottery) or open hearths or fire pits constructed in the middle of the ground floor. Drafts through the buildings appear to have prevented dangerous accumulations of carbon monoxide, and smoke from fires filtered out of the building through hole in the ridge of the roof. These vents were often fitted with louvered caps on the outside of the roof to keep the rain and wind out. These vents were limited use in clearing the smoke out of the building since they lacked a chimney to contain and guide the smoke from the fire to the outside. [yes they tried to fix this but this post is getting too long so i'll stop here]

[shadowbriar]

Pretend Boyfriend - George Weasley

Pairing : (F/M) || George Weasley x Reader Word Count : 3.2k Warning : None that I’m aware of. Notes : This story was posted first on my Ao3 account. “Well, since you don't have anyone you want to go with and that I need someone to shield me from these boys, would you please be my pretend boyfriend?” George deals with his feelings as he falls deeper for her in their fake relationship.

The sun was smiling above, giving enough heat and encouragement for the young gentlemen to gather their courage and shoot their shots to find a date. The Yule Ball is just around the corner and it seems to have taken over the main topic of the whole castle ever since it was announced. It was starting to look rather ridiculous to see someone popping the million galleons question every other corner of the hallways.

They were walking through the Main Courtyard, heading to her Transfiguration class after they had just finished Herbology. He has Astronomy after this, and though it would require him more effort to get to his next class, walking her to her classes has become a special habit he’s grown over the years. At first she was the one who insisted that they walk together so that he wouldn’t skip his classes and plant a prank on the hallways, yet even after they get to higher classes and more specialised schedules, the habit persists.

Perhaps that’s just what people do with their best friends. Walking them to each of their classes, everyday, no matter how far their classes actually are.

“That has got to be the fifth girl who bats their eye at you today.” she says as they walk past a group of Beauxbatons girls. She looks at her watch, making an impressed face “Not even half the day has passed. New record.”

“Well I'm a pretty good looking lad, wouldn’t you agree?”

She flashes a mocking smile, “Of course you are, George.”

“Thank you.” he playfully bows in gratitude “You’re one with quite a fanclub yourself. I heard Zabini asked you for the Ball last night. How did he deal with your rejection?”

“Not so pretty, really. I think I scratched a bit of his ego.”

“And he is, what, your sixth rejection?”

“Seventh, actually.” she corrected him, looking rather proud of herself “I rejected McLaggen on Monday. He said he’d tell his Father about it and that My Father would have to apologise to his Father then. Pretty wicked, to be honest.”

George smiles at her.

It is no secret that his best friend is a one fine lady. Ever since she stepped in the school, she has always had a long list of admirers trailing behind. Her clever jokes and warm personality compliments her beauty perfectly. George always wondered how he could be so lucky and befriend her because he knows a handful of boys who are certainly envious of him.

Hell, sometimes he is envious of himself whenever he thinks of her.

He wasn’t sure when it precisely started, she has always been on his side after all, but his feelings for her blossomed from just platonic love to a romantic one. Perhaps it was when they successfully pranked Filch in second year or when she gave him a hug after winning his first Quidditch match. He couldn’t tell when, but he’s certain that he won’t be coming out of these feelings anytime soon.

“Are you tired of girls hitting on you?”

“They’re not hitting on me.” George denies, trying to sound as coy as possible “But I do find the sudden attention to be ridiculous.”

She scrunch her nose, nodding, “For me, too. I’d rather people leave me alone and let me brood in the dark as I always have.”

George chuckles lightly. He knows how much of her words were complete bull. She has always been in the spotlight. Boys admire her, left and right. It’s just that now they have a real reason to approach her that it seems like she’s getting a sudden wave of attention.

“Why do you keep on rejecting them, anyway?” George asks, curious yet fearing of her answer for the possibility of a heartbreak “Surely there’s one bloke that isn’t as awful as the rest.”

She shrugs, “I don’t really find them interesting, is all.”

George nods. Wondering if he’s the one asking her for the Ball, would she have found him uninteresting too.

“Say, George.” she says, stopping her pace as her face lit from a sudden idea “Are you planning to ask someone to be your date?”

George shakes his head, slightly sweating at the sudden question, “Well, there’s someone but I’m not sure if I should ask her.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just- Nevermind, I don’t really have anyone in mind.” he lies, forcing a smile “Why, what are you thinking?”

“Well, since you don't have anyone you want to go with and that I need someone to shield me from these boys, would you please be my pretend boyfriend?”

George blinks, confused and surprised at the proposition, “Your what?”

“My fake boyfriend.” she says nonchalantly, not sensing the slight disappointment the boy radiates “I mean, it's a rather clever solution, don’t you think? I wouldn’t have to reject anymore boys and you wouldn’t need to deal with undesired attention anymore. Win-win for us all.”

George could swear the colour of his world turned dull. A pretend boyfriend? How worse can her offer be?

But in the rush of time, being her pretend boyfriend might be the closest thing he could ever be romantically with her. At least, until the Ball finishes, she is his girlfriend. Even when she doesn’t have any feelings for him.

“You know what, nevermind.” she says with a nervous chuckle “It sounds ridiculous now that I think about it.”

“Let’s do it.”

Now it’s her time to look flabbergasted. A growing grin appears on her face, squealing a little as she takes George’s hands in excitement, “Really?”

George nods, showing a half-hearted smile, “Why not, right?”

“Brilliant!” she exclaims cheerfully “It’s settled then. I better get going now. See you later, boyfriend!”

She skips her way down the hall, bidding one last wave of goodbye before disappearing in the ocean of students.

George was left stunned at his spot. What has he gotten himself into? Fake boyfriend? Really? Couldn’t they just go to the Ball as friends instead? Surely that would’ve been better than an artificial relationship.

But the happiness she paraded was something he couldn’t shake off. It makes him content to see her smiling and jumping in excitement. He’s always been there to make her smile, anyway. It’s like he has devoted his life for her happiness. Now he could only hope that however this fake relationship would end, he wouldn’t cave in too deep in the sea of sorrow.

____

“You must have been the daftest bloke of the century, mate.” Fred commented as he placed sausages in his mouth “A fake boyfriend? Really? Just how desperate can you be, Georgie.”

“I didn’t really think about it thoroughly, alright.” George defended, slightly moping at his twin’s negative feedback “Just pretend that you didn’t know about this, okay? I don’t even know if I should keep this a secret from you too. We haven’t actually established the rules and all.”

“It would be the death of you, you know.” Fred snorts, mocking him “Why couldn’t you just be honest with her? Ask her to be your real girlfriend, instead.”

“I wouldn’t want to be the eighth bloke she rejects this year. I’ll take whatever is served at the table.”

Fred was about to prolong the bickering yet closes his mouth as he spots the said girl approaching them.

“Hi, Fred.” she greets, taking a seat next to George “Hi, boyfriend.”

“Right,” Fred retches, picking up his plate to move to another seat “I’ll see you guys later.”

She frowns at Fred’s unpleasant reaction. The boy was just fine this morning when they had their breakfast. Why is he acting so strange all of a sudden?

“Don’t mind Fred. He’s just bitter we didn’t tell him about the whole relationship thing.” George lied, trying to ease her mind “He feels betrayed that we’re together and didn’t even tell him that something was going on between us.”

“Oh,” she nods, flashing an unsure smile “How much did you tell him?”

“Just that we’re together now.”

“Did you tell him that it’s fake?”

George flinches slightly at the word, “Would you like me to tell him?”

“No,” she says with a trailing tone “I guess it would be best to keep this between us. You know, to make it more convincing.”

He nods.

George wanted to ask why it is so important to make people believe that they’re really together, but he reckons there’s only so much heartbreak he could take in a day. Perhaps he could ask her some other time.

“So, what do you think we should do to make us seem like a real couple?”

George shrugs, “I don’t know. I’ve never been in a relationship before.”

“Maybe we could hold hands and you can walk me to my classes?”

“Don’t we already do that?” he says with a crisp chuckle “I mean we don’t really hold hands, but I’ve placed my arms around you.”

“True.” she nods, agreeing with his statement “Maybe we could.. Um, kiss?”

A slight crimson colour starts to tint his cheeks. He’s always imagined how pleasant it must be to kiss her, placing his hand on her cheeks as he caresses her skin while they share a chaste peck. If only she would kiss him the same way he would.

“I mean, if it’s too much for you we could always opt out.”

“No, it’s fine for me.” George says fast, not wanting to lose the chance “Are you fine with it?”

She nods with a smile.

“Should we uh- Should we try one now?” George asks unsurely, biting his lower lip in doubt “You know, to set the ground and all.”

She grins, “Please do.”

George lets out a nervous blow before leaning in with a smile.

It was a short tender kiss. Exactly how he imagined their first kiss would be. He traces her jawline with his thumb as his other hand entwines to hers. He could taste the light hint of strawberry from her lip gloss before finally pulling away, still locking their gazes as they smiled at each other.

The kiss might be uneventful but it was enough to make the eyes present at the Great Hall to stop and stare. At last, the good looking pair of best friends finally turn into a real couple.

If only they knew the truth.

“You have yet to ask me to be your date.” she whispers softly, still smiling from the kiss.

“I thought it’s already a one deal package with the relationship thing.”

“Still, it would be nice to hear you say it.”

George chuckles, taking both of her hands and holding them in his. He stares at her face, gathering all the nerves he has to finally ask her the question. If only he could ask her genuinely, “Would you be my date for the Yule Ball?”

She nods eagerly. She plants a small kiss on his cheek before pulling him for a hug. Squealing and giggling like a real person in love.

George rests his face on the crook of her neck, inhaling and embracing her presence. The butterflies in his stomach have long blown into the chaotic rain of fireworks. His heart was full, happy at the fact that she seems to be enjoying the artificial relationship as much as he does. A small voice in his head was telling him to be careful as it must have hurt later when reality hits and this fake relationship has to end. But for the time being, George could only enjoy and appreciate each passing moment.

He would certainly miss this once it’s done.

____

The dreadful night has finally come. As every other student welcomed the Ball with joy, George could only hope that his sheer act of indifference was enough to conceal his disappointment. Other than Fred, no one truly understands how he hates the night. There’s no telling of how their relationship would be after this. He’s not even sure if they could be as close of a friend as they were before. All these weeks of playing dating have been wrecking his emotions and boosting his hopes so high he would certainly succumb once it plummets.

He would certainly miss laying on her lap at the Common Room as she reads her book, or going to Hogsmeade and having glasses of butterbeers only for him to kiss the foam moustache off of her lips. He would miss holding hands in the hallways and spinning her around before pulling her for a kiss. He would miss being her boyfriend.

Though he’s fully aware that they were only doing a fake one, he couldn’t help but to feel that the feelings and moments they shared were authentic. There are times when he finds her blushing from his kisses. She has shown nothing but sincere happiness, one he has never seen before. It makes him hard to tell if she actually reciprocates his feelings or that she’s just a very good actress.

Now they’re dancing closely, her hands resting on his shoulders as he holds her gently by the waist. She looks dashing, certainly the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on. He studies her face, trying to map all of her facial features in his mind as it might be the last time they could ever be this close.

“You’re doing it again.” she says with a soft chuckle.

“What?”

“Staring as if I’m going to be blown away by the wind anytime soon.”

George smiles, not replying to her words and plants a kiss on her forehead instead.

“That’s sweet.” she comments, making a slight frown “But you haven’t properly kissed me tonight.”

She was inching into him, tip toeing so that she could level his height. But before their lips could touch, George lets go of her waist, slightly pushing her away. She blinks at the surprising gesture. Baffled.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore.”

With that, George walks out of the floor. He loosened his tie, feeling suffocated from his thoughts. His head was all over the place. Agreeing to the fake relationship was a mistake. It made him realise the life he could never have, a life with her as his girlfriend. It hurts even more to know that he’s falling deeper in love with her.

He finally stops as he reaches the bridge. He rummages his hair harshly, desperate to get out of his own frenzied head. He feels like he’s going mad. He’s not ready for their relationship to end. Fake or not, he knows that his feelings were genuine and that’s all that matters, truly.

“George?” she calls with worry from the end of the bridge “Are you alright?”

“No, no I’m not.” he says desperately, still not looking at her “I feel like I’m going to burst. My head cannot keep quiet for one single second and my heart- My heart’s hurting.”

She was anxious, watching him lose the plot like this. She couldn’t tell what went wrong tonight. He has been quiet all night and has kept her at an arm’s length. She’d asked repeatedly if she could do anything to lift up his mood, but the boy was too deep in his brood and bottling his emotions. Now that it finally erupts, she’s unsure how to dampen it.

“Why did you have to ask me to be your stupid fake boyfriend?” George asks angrily, finally looking at her “How did you even come up with such a heartless idea, like that?”

She frowns, confused at his sudden outburst.

“You’re cruel, do you know that?”

“How am I cruel? You’re the one that willingly agrees to my plan, I never forced you to say yes.”

“Well, how would you expect me to say no when I am so deeply in love with you?!”

She blinks, caught off guard at his confession.

“Yeah, that’s right. I love you. I’ve always loved you.” he says again as if he could read her mind “But that doesn’t matter, does it? You don’t care about my feelings. It never matters for you.”

“What are you talking about?”

George groans in despair, “I am in love with you, alright? And it drives me nuts that this fake relationship is everything I’ve ever wanted but I know that you don’t feel the same way so I can only pretend that it’s working, but it’s not. It’s only making me more and more desperate for you.”

He couldn’t find the right words to convey his feelings. Everything was in turmoil. He was angry, disappointed, and desperate at the same time. Who would have known that being in love would push them to the pit of insanity?

“Then ask for it.”

George raises an eyebrow, still looking very much in vexation, “What?”

“Ask for it. Ask me to be your girlfriend.” she challenges, staring back at him with firmness “You never got the gut to ask me yet blame me entirely for not having the perfect fantasy of us together.”

He chuckles bitterly, “I’m here unhinged from my feelings for you and you still have the heart to joke about it,”

“I’m not joking. Why are you always belittling my feelings about you?” she asks, this time sounds like she’s nettled herself “I have literally given all the signs that I want you to ask me out. I want you to ask me to the Ball. And yet, you’re still so daft to pick them up that I have to ask you to be my fake boyfriend to finally have the chance to kiss you.”

George was at a loss of words. He stares at her with confused empty eyes.

“Haven’t you ever wondered why I wanted the relationship to be convincing? It’s because I want you to fall for me. I hoped that somehow, one of these days you’re going to see that I’m not so bad of a fake girlfriend and that you could finally ask me to be your real girlfriend instead.” she rants, chest heaving in anger “Blimey Georgie, you could be such an airhead at times.”

“You’re not- You’re not joking, are you?”

She stares at him with angry eyes, shaking her head.

In an instant, the loud voices in his eyes dissipated. George lets out a relieved sigh, chuckling lightly as he takes closer steps to her. He tries to pull the angry girl closer, placing his hands on her waist. He smiles wide, the silliest grin he has ever shown. His eyes were practically gone from all the cheeks folds.

“You really mean it, didn’t you?”

“George Fabian Weasley, if you ask me one more time, I will throw you off the bridge and make it seem like it’s a suicide.”

He grins, planting a kiss at the tip of her nose, “I love you.”

She rolls her eyes, “You have yet to ask me to be your girlfriend.”

“Do I have to, though? I mean you’ve basically confessed that you love me too.”

“Well I wasn’t the one throwing a fit for not having a girlfriend ten minutes ago, am I?”

George smiles, tucking a few strands of her hair behind her ear, “Love, would you please be my girlfriend?”

She bites the growing grin and nods.

Sparing no other minute, George leans in and seals their new relationship with a kiss. This time he kisses her deeper, showing the desperation he held a few minutes ago that has now melted into tender delight. At last, he could finally kiss her passionately and know that she’s kissing him back genuinely. His doubts and second guesses are dispersing into thin air.

Perhaps tonight isn’t so bad after all.

[ensnapemysenses]

He's Your Son, Through and Through!

Genre: Fluff

Warning: None

Pairing: Severus Snape x Wife with a son

Summary: Snape and his wife receive an owl at their home concerning their son's OWL grades.

Word Count: 809

Masterlists

A light tapping sound on the window of the living room adjacent to Snape’s home office causes him to pause, his knife hovering over the dittany he’s meticulously chopping for a potion he’s preparing to sell in his little potion shop. Both he and his wife have been anxiously awaiting to hear from their son about his OWL grades. Perhaps he has finally had the chance to send an owl with the news.

At that thought, his mind begins to wander to his son. He was a very nervous first-time father and having a son who looks a lot like him didn’t help to ease his nerves at all. When his son arrived with his same big, hooked nose, pale complexion, and dreadfully greasy and limp onyx hair, he panicked. The thought of cursing an innocent child with his horrid looks was too much to bear. For a split second, he wished he had never agreed to have a child for surely he had passed on his worse genes to him and he was doomed to forever be an outcast just as he was.

But, when his son had opened his eyes and looked at Severus to reveal that his eyes were the same beautiful shade as his wife, and when he had smiled with lips the same shape and color as hers as well, Severus’s insecurities had melted. Their son was a perfect mix of both of them, in both looks and brains, however, he still had a hard time sometimes seeing the beauty in his own features that his son had acquired. 

His thoughts are soon interrupted as his wife enters the room, a letter in hand, and a troubled look on her face. She solemnly hands the note to him and whispers, “It’s from him. I couldn’t bring myself to look at it yet, you do it.”

“I’m sure he did positively well. After all, he is your son!” Snape chuckles trying to lessen the mood as he takes the letter from her and slowly opens it.

“That’s exactly why I’m worried, dear!” she exclaims. “If he’s anything like me and my OWLs, he barely passed!”

“You are an exceptionally smart witch in your own way, darling. Passing in any capacity is wonderful and if he did not pass some subjects that is okay as well. We will both still be very proud of his accomplishments.”

She nods in agreement as he unfolds the letter, his eyes skimming the page. “Let’s see”, he mumbles. “E in Charms, E in Care of Magical Creatures,  A in Transfiguration, E in Herbology, P in Astronomy, O in Defense Against the Dark Arts, D in History of Magic, and O in Potions.”

“Oh, honey! Those grades are much better than I thought! He passed all of his classes but two! I guess he’s your son, through and through and it seems that he acquired your brains, not mine!” she laughs. “His only two outstandings are in your areas of expertise! He takes after you with his schooling!”

Snape smiles widely and blushes a bit at her comment. He is proud of his son no matter what but a certain special pride swells in his chest at the thought of him doing outstanding in the classes that he himself fell in love with while in school. 

The next day as they pull into King’s Cross station to pick up their son, they are both excited to see him and congratulate him on his grades. They hurry through the barrier just as the train is pulling back into the station. They rush closer to the train, arm-in-arm, waving and smiling as they spot their son exiting. He has a huge smile on his face as he runs over to them, dropping his trunk to embrace them both in a hug.

“Did you get my letter?” he asks.

“We got it, son! We are both so proud of you!” Snape says placing an arm over the shoulder of his wife and drawing her in closer.

“Dad! I’m just like you! I got an Outstanding in both potions and defense against the dark arts! I guess I really did learn from helping you around your shop as a kid after all!” he says happily, smiling wide.

Snape walks over to him and embraces him, playfully ruffling his hair as he pulls away. “I’m so proud of you, kiddo. Great job! Why don’t we go out to eat and get some ice cream for dessert as a treat?”

“That sounds great dad! I’ve got a lot more to tell you about the school year!”

And so, they listen to their son go on and on about his year at Hogwarts while they exit the station and head back to their car. All the while smiling proudly and excited to spend the summer all together again.

[tigrrr]

10:41pm | James Potter

                                                 (GIF not mine)

Pairing: James Potter x fem!reader, James Potter x Lilly Evans 

(Platonic marauders(without james) x fem!reader)

Word count: 976

Warnings: Somewhat angst(???), oblivious James,  cheesy and cringe :’>>

Summary: James stood you up on your date, and that was the final call for you to cut things with him(for a while)

(P.S this is my first time writing again after a few years, so there might be mistakes and all, but if you have any suggestions on how to improve, please do dm me <33)

It was already 10:41pm, and there she is. Still waiting for the love of her life, James Potter. Even though she knew that he was not going to show up. She still waited, hoping that he was just late and stuff. But deep deep down she knew that he was not going to show up.

It was now already 11:30pm. The waitress had already asked her if she was going to order or anything. "I'd like a glass of water please" She said to the waitress, the waitress gave her a sympathetic smile  and went to get her the water.

After a few minutes the waitress came back with the water she asked for. She quickly drank the water and stand up "Thank you, how much for the water??" She asked "Oh no need, it was just water. It's fine" The waitress said to her while smiling softly. She smiled at the waitress and thanked her.

As she was about to sit down, a voice spoke next to her "Couldn't sleep as well?"  it asked. She almost slipped down the edge when the person who owned the voice catches her hand. "Careful now" he said and pulled her towards him. She crashed at his chest as she looked at his eyes. It was her first time seeing the one and only Regulus Black up close. He was beautiful, he was a masterpiece, he looked like merlin carved him himself.

She went to her room in an attempt to sleep, but she couldn't so she decided to go to the astronomy tower where she would always go when she needed to feel better.

He cleared his throat and spoke "You alright?" she backed away from him "Yeah" she said and she slowly sat down. Regulus sat besides her. That night, neither of them spoke. Silence filled the air. But it was a comforting silence for the both of them.

If she's going to be honest it was hard, very hard. They share the same classes, the same school, and most importantly they both share the same group of friends. But still, she did it.

The next morning y/n avoided Potter, she tried her best to avoid her lover. Funny it is she thought to herself. The person she once clung into for dear life, is the same person she's trying to avoid now.

Or so she thought.

Her mood turned sour again, she walked away without saying anything. Her friends called for her but she didn't care.

It was dinner time at the great hall. She was about to sit somewhere far from James, when Remus called to her "Hey y/n, were here" he waved to her. She smiled sarcastically and went to them. "Here's your girl Potter" Sirius said grinning a bit. "Yeah mate, you were complaining so much about missing your girl, saying things such as "heya moony, how many hours do we still have before break" or like "I miss her" ya' do know it's a bit annoying sometimes" Remus added in while rolling his eyes playfully.  Peter laughed, and so did everyone who heard them talking. She cracked a small smile , until she notice James was looking at Lily who was laughing as well.

"There you are, what" the voice stopped when it realize something "Wait... Are you crying y/n??" the voice sat down beside her. She didn't looked as she knows too well who that voice belonged to. James Fucking Potter.

She went up in the astronomy tower, she sat there hugging her knee's and sobbed silently. After a few minutes, she heard footsteps.

"Bunny what's wrong??" James asked worriedly as he tried to hug her. "Don't" she said sternly as her voice cracked. James was confused as why she's done that, normally when she's sad she'd always ask James to cuddle but this is the opposite. "y/n, what's wrong. You're scaring me bunny" He said, but still she didn't answered him.

"Why her?" she said with her voice still cracking. "Bubs what do you mean" James asked still clueless on what's going on "Don't act dumb now Potter" She said slowly looking to James.

James on the other hand looks so surprised on what his lover just said. "What..." he asked "I know that you want her, not me" She said bitterly smiling at James "No. No no no oh no y/n" he said while getting closer to her "Please please, you know thats not true" He said tearing up while cupping her face

"Please"

"James.. It's the best for us"

"No it's not, what if you're wrong?"

"Then we won't make it long. But hey, I guess that's us" She said sadly

"James why did you even went out with me?" She asked all of a sudden. James who was taken back on that sudden question just stared at her

"James?" she called for him more softly this time "Because I promised you" Y/n was too stunned to speak when he said that "I promised you when we were little. I promised you that you will be my lover, and that one day I will marry you and have a family" He honestly said to her, taking of his hands on her face and looking forward into no where

"James that was years ago for merlins sake, you should've forgotten it like I did" "How could I forget it Y/n, it was your birthday where nobody came except me. How could I forget that look on your face when I said that" James said while looking at her with a face that y/n can't read.

Y/n turned away from James. She stand up "I think it's the best if we don't see each other for awhile James" She said her back facing him as she walked away. James didn't chase her that night as he know she was right.

[mirclealignr]

Regulus Black Fluff Alphabet

regulus x gn! reader

requested by anon

warnings; brief mentions of food and anxiety

from this alphabet

A - Affection; how they like to show their love.

Regulus does a lot through touch and reassuring looks/smiles. He finds it hard sometimes to express just how he feels about you, especially considering expressions of love were severely lacking in his life. But when he holds your hand or caresses your face, he feels as if he's spilling all his secrets, and hopes that you understand them.

B - Beauty; what do they especially admire about you?

Your warmth. At first it was practically disarming, but overtime he learned to embrace it and miss it when it was absent, when you were absent. It would be so different to what he was used to, especially with the people closest to him. But he would adore the change that was you.

C - Cuddles; how they like to cuddle you.

Most of the time he likes to have his arms around you, sitting up slightly while you lay against his chest. There's a sense of safety he finds in knowing that you can hear his heartbeat and that it doesn't scare you off. But sometimes, he likes it when you take him in your arms and he can nuzzle in the crook of your neck.

D - Dancing; their favourite place to dance with you.

He is simply a hopeless romantic, and loves to dance with you when it's dark and raining outside, when the two of you are almost completely alone. He loves watching you smile as the rain seeps into your clothes and dampens your hair, and when you rest your head on his chest for some shelter.

E - Excitement; do they get excited with you about things?

Regulus likes to understand things before he gets excited about them with you. If you come running to him with an elated expression and start rambling about whatever brought you this pleasure, he'd want to know why. He'd want to understand you and relate to you. Almost always, he'd become just as excited as you.

F - First Date; your first date together.

The Astronomy Tower. Regulus would want to be alone with you, without prying or judging eyes. It wouldn't be much, maybe some snacks and a drink he brought for you, but he would want to hear you talk and laugh and to see you smile. He'd want to know your likes and dislikes, the memories you cherished, and things you looked back on and laughed at.

G - Goals; do they have things they want to achieve? Do they include you in these things?

For Regulus, his future goals remain largely unclear. Before you, he thought it was simple, but afterwards it would become far more complicated. With the weight of his family, and Sirius' abandonment making it heavier, he would often try to avoid the thought. But if you ever brought it up, he'd tell you that wherever you were, he would be.

H - Honesty; how open are they with you?

Very. Trust is something extremely important to him. While he may not tell you everything the second it happens, he does have every intention of letting you see every side of him, even the parts he wished would vanish from existence. Upon getting to know you, the trials of his family would be revealed slowly, rather than all at once, so he didn't overwhelm you. Of course, he'd be terrified, but he knew it was better that way, and he knew that you would love him all the same.

I - I Love You; do they say it a lot? did they say it first?

Regulus does not say it first, though he'd be sure he felt it first. He confesses straight after you, though, and gradually says it more and more over time. Expressing his feelings would not come easy, and sometimes, rather than tell you how much he appreciated you for listening or how beautiful he thought you were, he simply said 'I love you' in replacement, hoping that it would be enough.

J - Jealousy; do they get jealous?

Not necessarily jealous, but rather insecure. When he sees you laughing with someone else, he'd wonder whether they were better suited to you--they were warmer, more free, happier. Perhaps he brought you down, perhaps he weighed you down, and though he didn't express these insecurities out loud, he'd always seem to be easily read by you. And you'd always be there to reassure him when you needed to.

K - Kiss; their favourite place to kiss you.

Your hands. For Regulus, hands mean so much, represent so much, and yours are his to kiss and hold as much as he pleases. To him it would feel incredibly intimate, despite the fact that your hands can touch others, but that they're only his to kiss and hold. People can always get close, but never as close as he can.

L - Little Spoon; who’s the little spoon?

The majority of the time, you are the little spoon. He likes the idea that he is able to protect you, actually make you feel safe and wanted; it's one of the things he prides himself on. But, there woulds be times when he needed to feel that, and revelled in the warmth of your embrace tightening around him, holding him close.

M - Melody; what’s your song together?

I think your song together would be 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' by The Beatles.

N - Nicknames; do they use nicknames for you?

Yes a few. Some of them would include 'treasure' and/or 'my treasure' because he adores you and could not think of anything better than you. For him, you are what people search for their whole lives, sometimes without ever finding it. And, because he speaks French, ‘mon chéri /ma chérie' for definite.

O - Open Book; how hard was it to get to know them?

It wasn't necessarily hard, just gradual. However, you would have always suspected that Regulus did not have it easy and were content with him going at his own pace, and appreciating that he was brave enough to reveal it all to you. It never seemed too slow, rushed, or overwhelming--he picked his timings well and never let things become too heavy. He'd also be very conscious that everyone had their own burdens, and would make sure he always left time and room for you to air anything you wanted or needed.

P - PDA; how affectionate they are in public.

Not very much at all. He prefers to show you his love when it's just the two of you. But he isn't afraid to let other people know that you're in a relationship, and will often intertwine his fingers with yours, whisper things in your ear, and kiss your temple.

Q - Quirk: a weird but loveable trait of theirs.

He never signs his name, he always signs R.A.B. Even when it's small notes to you, little love letters, or ordinary letters, he will never sign it as Regulus, but with his full initials.

R - Romance; how romantic are they?

So much. He loves leaving you love notes, writing love letters to you, slow dancing with you, playing music for you, watching the stars with you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, snuggling up in bed with you with a good book. He loves to do it all.

S - Secrets; do they keep secrets from you?

Not really. Perhaps only ones he thinks would unnecessarily hurt you, like what his family says about you. He doesn't tell you because he doesn't think it matters, they don't matter to him, only you do, and he wants their words to mean nothing.

T - Thrill; do they like to keep the relationship new and exciting?

He likes to, and he tries. He certainly likes surprising you, even if only to see that smile. He likes taking you places, learning your favourite songs on the piano simply because you like hearing them, taking you on spontaneous trips or dates. He's not on for grand, public gestures, but he still keeps excitement in the relationship his own way. But he also knows when things need to be slow and calm, and doesn't mind it either way.

U - Understanding; how they comfort/support when you’re upset or anxious.

He knows that most things said would be wrong, even if they were intended to be reassuring and understanding. Even when you talk about what's bothering you or don't, it can be hard to say the right thing. So instead, he takes you in his arms, rubs your back, kisses your cheek and gets you any comfort foods that you wish for. Sometimes, words speak far less than actions.

V - Vexed; how easily they lose their temper.

With his family, and even with Sirius, Regulus can lose his temper very quickly, but you understand that their relationship has not been easy, nor do you care for his family. With you, it's rare that he loses his temper or raises his voice at you. When he does, there are usually other factors that have contributed to his mood, and he is quick to apologise afterwards.

W - Weakness; what’s their weakness what it comes to you?

Your smile. So easily it can make him feel like he's falling from the stars, watching the constellations become smaller and smaller as he slips into the earth's atmosphere, burning and smiling and falling completely in love with you every time he sees it.

X - Xtra; random hc about them.

Regulus likes to speak in French to you when there are things he is too afraid to say or things he thinks sound more romantic when said in another language. Even if you can understand him, there's something less nerve-racking about saying it in French, it's almost like he's playing himself in another world, but still hopelessly in love with you.

Y - Years to Come; how they imagine your future together.

He doesn't like to think about the future often because he knows how easily it can change and fail to meet your expectations. He only hopes that he is with you, facing whatever is to come. He prefers to focus on the present, where he already is with you.

Z - Zzz; how they are when they sleep.

Incredibly still, almost scarily still. The only time he moves is to be closer to you, closer to your exuding warmth. It almost frightens you to move in case it wakes him or disturbs him, but if it does, he never lets on. - - - fill in this form or send an ask to be added to a tag list <3 forever friends; @myalupinblack / @selenes-sun / @vixxiann /@queen-asteria04 / @lillict / @savingpluto /@theincredibledeadlyviper / @pad-foots / @fizzleberries / @willowbleedsonpaper / @kinkyduuh harry potter; @fuckingbloodyhello / @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts / @scvrllet / @dreamerinthesun / @crazy-beautiful / @chaoticgirl04 /@cupids-crystals / @fandom-life-12 / @mypainistemporary-blog /@oliverwoodmarrymepls / @eunoniaa / @missryerye marauders era; @spxllcxstxr / @natashxromanovfreads / @ch /@sereinegemini / @helen-with-an-a / @sweeter-than-strawberries /@spxncervibes regulus black; @jackys-stuff-blog / @with-love-anu / @yinrose98 /@tarorootboba / @lyaseille / @bloodblossom73