#WHICH MAKES THIS WHOLE THING EVEN WORSE FOR ME
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OH SHIT UH baizhu x monster reader because I've been thinking about him lately. maybe something dubcon-y? I love pathetic men whimpering and crying 🎃
Author's Note: My mind went places, y'all… very horny places. 💀
Pairings: Baizhu x male reader
Warnings: Male plant monster!reader, dom/top!reader, sub/bottom!Baizhu, sort of gullible Baizhu, dubcon, handjob, facial, riding, aphrodisiac, mild dumbification
Why he had to run out of this particular herb was beyond him. As if that wasn't annoying enough, his suppliers were out of stock and wouldn't be able to ship him any more. The location of this herb has become increasingly dangerous, and no one could figure out why the men sent to gather these herbs came back… weird, to say the least. Nonetheless, Baizhu needed those herbs to treat his patients.
Was it a stupid idea to travel out there by himself and gather them by hand; yes, most certainly, and Changsheng told him as much, but a doctor's mind is a puzzling thing.
And that's how he ended up here; in the high mountains of Chenyu Vale. Normally, one would expect to run into a few monsters, at the very least, but Baizhu had yet to see a single one during his trek. There were plenty of other creatures, and the foliage didn't seem withered, so it's not as if this place was devoid of life nor on a biological decline—there was simply a lack of danger. Which is a strange occurrence, considering the reports he'd read…
That fact really should be comforting to the frail doctor, but in truth, it made a shiver run down his spine. His eyes nervously scanned over the immediate grassy grounds, hoping to catch a glimpse of the herb he so desperately needed — desperate enough to set foot on this mountain alone.
It took a bit more searching, but the herb in question was flourishing just around the back of one particular mountain. Baizhu carefully made his way towards the area, picking one herb and inspecting it to check its quality and that it was, in fact, the correct herb. Picking a few more, Baizhu comes across one plant that refuses to be plucked — an unusually tough herb, resisting his attempts to yank it out from the dirt.
As he goes to inspect the stem, a soft voice cries out; “U-um… excuse me? Could you help me…?” Looking over his shoulder, the doctor spots a person's head sticking up out of the ground—except their skin has a pale green hue to it, and as this person rises up, he notices how the ground around them shifts; as though the ground is a part of them.
Baizhu turns halfway, cautiously keeping an eye on you as he questions, “…What do you need help with?” The way your body flows effortlessly when you move—creating ripples in the immediate area around your torso—piques Baizhu's curiosity.
“O-oh! Um… it's a little embarrassing, if I'm being honest, sir…” you begin, “As you've probably guessed, I am not a human — think of me as a type of dendro spirit, I guess? Uh, anyways, there's this…ritual, of sorts, that only a human can help me with–”
The whole time you're explaining this predicament of yours, Baizhu keeps a watchful eye on you to make sure you're not tricking him. Even though you come across as rather sheepish.
“…I understand if you don't trust me, I just don't know what else to do…humans don't come around here too often, and the pain has become so much worse–”
“I'll help you.” He interjects. The sparkles in your eyes force him to hold back a chuckle as you thank him a million times over. “Please take me to this plant of yours.”
You excitedly take off, essentially a torso and head gliding halfway inside the ground, while this kind human with green hair trails just behind. Arriving at your destination, Baizhu kneels down, giving you a glance, and you return it nervously.
Baizhu eyes the plant inquisitively, staring at the odd shape and strange fleshy texture of the whole thing.
“Go on, doctor, I-I'm ready…” you prompt, giving the man a shy smile to mask your nerves.
With a quick breath to strengthen his resolve, the doctor raises his hands, wrapping them both around the plant and lightly squeezing it until a wet substance seeps out through the petals. “A-ah! aAh-” you gasp suddenly.
“I'm sorry—did that hurt?!”
You shake your head, nearly whimpering as you try to assure him, “N-no… just surprised me. Your hands… they're a bit cold…”
“My apologies, they should warm up soon enough. Shall we keep going?” Said like a true doctor. This stranger with kind eyes has been nothing but gentle with you so far, helping out a non-human creature whom he only met a few minutes ago, even if he finds your request a tad strange.
More wetness falls down his hands, pouring from the plant the more he squeezes and twists his hands around the elongated object. He experimentally moves his hands to other areas, and when Baizhu's thumbs rub and press on the tip of the plant, you're unable to hold back a sharp intake of air. Your eyes roll back momentarily, and you chomp down on your lower lip to conceal the noises threatening to escape.
The doctor eyes your pained expressions with worry written all over his face. “It's… fine — I'm fine. The pain… is not that bad… please, don't stop, doctor.”
As you wish, Baizhu milks more and more liquid from the plant, creating a pool of it underneath the stem of the plant—gradually creeping towards his knees and threatening to soak his pants. For the most part, it feels and looks like regular water, but there's a faint sensation of stickiness on his palms, close to the surface of the plant.
While this is supposed to be a medical procedure, Baizhu can't help feeling a bit… embarrassed by the whole situation. This plant of yours—it is a bit phallic. Not to mention how the method used to wring out the liquid is akin to… uh, a specific hand movement performed on phallic objects. The suggestive sounds coming from your mouth don't help that either. Baizhu can't ignore you when you moan out “Faster… faster, doctor- aah~ Keep stroking it like that… it's definitely woRKING-!”
The more Baizhu watches himself squeeze the glistening liquid from your plant, the deeper into a trance he falls — soon enough he's fallen so deep that he shamelessly jerks off the phallic plant until the tip opens up and explodes like a volcano; shooting thick, honey-like ropes all over Baizhu's pretty face.
The substance drips all down his features — clumping in strands of hair, clinging to his glasses, dripping from his nose and chin, and even a little sliding into his open mouth. “A-ah! Y-you… you did it… you made me release it all, doctor~” you comment — your words are the only thing penetrating that fuzzy mind of his right now. “Thank you soooo much~ But, could I trouble you with one more thing?” you lean forward, gently holding the doctor's chin so that he can't turn away from you. “Won't you help me again? It's the only way for me to feel all better.”
“Aah…? I don't… understand…” Baizhu breathes, confused and seemingly in a daze. It's such a precious sight to behold, really.
You reach out and slide a hand up and down the doctor's stomach, teasingly pushing his top up a few times before moving towards the edge of his pants. “You'll help me, won't you? You're such a kind doctor, after all~” you remind him. Baizhu's pants are quickly yanked down, removed the rest of the way by vines that the good doctor never noticed before…
With his sensitive areas laid bare for you to see, Baizhu gasps, frozen in place as your hands feel up his waist and thighs, pushing the latter apart so that you can inspect his body. Sliding two fingers towards his rear, you find that special hole humans have and tease around the rim of it. “Aha! There it is. I'm sorry to ask so much of you, but… I really need this right now.”
While he has no idea what you mean, the doctor senses something amiss within your words. Your fingers attempt to push inside of him, and Baizhu clumsily refuses. “I-I don't think… don't think that I can do that, young man… mm ooh~”
Impatiently, you lift him up and pull him towards you, hovering his hole right above the plant he'd previously milked. A little burst of liquid shoots from the tip, splashing against Baizhu's entrance, which startles him. The consistency of the liquid feels just like the substance it coated his face in earlier; thick, sticky, and warm.
While Baizhu's mind tries to resist, his body is doing quite the opposite, already lowering itself down until the tip of the plant is entering his ass. “A-AAH! Wait–!” he begs. But it's too little too late as your phallic plant penetrates him with ease, thanks to that honey-like fluid. The fleshy appendage pushes a wave of liquid inside his hole, and it creates a wet mess all over his ass, thighs, and the ground below as you begin to fuck him.
“Mm doctor… you feel incredible~ Hehe, look at that—this little guy is having fun too~” Baizhu blushes deeply, shaking his head while you watch his cock bounce every time your plant cock thrusts in.
“N-no… please, harder–! This is weird… aah~ so good~ ” the doctor grits his teeth, biting his lower lip as he grows frustrated by his own mouth betraying him. The cutest whimpers are the only sounds coming from his mouth as you continue your assault on his hole, thrusting your plant deeper and deeper. The amount of liquid gushing out of Baizhu's ass is ungodly now; sticky, squelchy, slick fluids that overflow with every thrust, filling his tummy until it hurts with how full it is.
“You're doing amazing, doctor! That terrible ache is almost gone, I j-just need to– guh!” you suddenly slam your hips into him, laughing as a pang of pleasure wracks your body and causes you to bury your cock in him. Your hands fly to his waist, and you bounce the human while he whimpers some more.
Tears begin to roll down Baizhu's cheeks, staining his glasses with a salty film as you release another round of that thick substance; this time inside the doctor's body. You pant wildly, mere inches from his face while your plant cock spreads open inside of his hole, releasing far too much liquid inside his belly.
#my writing#requested#halloween specials 🎃#oneshot#baizhu#baizhu smut#baizhu x male reader#baizhu x reader#sub baizhu#genshin smut#genshin impact smut#genshin x male reader#genshin x reader#sub genshin#male reader#dom reader#top reader#monster reader#dom male reader#sub male character#monster au
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Actually, sorry, nevermind with the pro ship stuff ! Did my research and I'm more informed abt it :) you dont need to post either of the asks I sent abt it (and I'm lowkey scared if coming across as a close minded purist prude whose disillusioned about being by one.)..either way ty!
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*giggling*
The reality is that any new, viral thing from thirty seconds ago spreads easily on TikTok, most especially misinformation. Instagram is another pretty terrible platform just in terms of algorithms and how it's run. I wouldn't expect the prevailing understanding of such-and-such from within one bubble on either to necessarily be well informed.
The concept of "antis" under that name is pretty new, and the concept of "proshippers" is even newer. It has always meant "not antis". Some people have started mutating it to be about specific dark content, but it was always supposed to be about opposing censorship-happy idiots.
I don't find incestuous ships any freakier than other common fantasies people have. Same with adult/minor ships. You're seeing them in a distinct category because they upset you in particular. The feelings are fine, but they don't actually mean that these kinks are darker than all the other ones antis go after.
I know you think someone will be able to interpret "proshippers DNI" as "only the actually bad people should stay away", but that simply isn't what's going to happen. First, DNIs are moronic. Curating your online space means that you need to be the one blocking and avoiding. You can't ask random strangers, possibly your enemies, to do it for you. Second, people are going to have all kinds of opinions on which content is Bad Enough to count even assuming they share a similar definition of 'proshipper'.
This kind of "Well, we all know what the Bad Stuff is" attitude tends to have a chilling effect on a space. People are all paranoid that their kinks might count and self-censor far beyond what the person who said it expected.
Honestly, aside from the constant misuse of the terms, my assumption is that public proshippers on Instagram and TikTok are mostly into extreme things because anyone less extreme wouldn't have the balls to be public. The amount of death and rape threats from antis wouldn't be worth it.
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As for my "rules", I don't have any. This is my personal tumblr, but since I leave anon on, people send me lots of things. I post most of them, but I get so many now, that I'll sometimes cut off a topic that has dragged on boringly. I usually don't post the threats I get unless they're funny and I want to mock them.
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Re teens in fandom, I got into fandom at 13 on Usenet and set about reading all of the freakiest porn available. I read far worse stuff outside of fandom. I was curious, as many people that age are. It never did me any harm, and it won't do any harm to current 13-year-olds to read dark shit.
The people who get fucked up already have a lack of decent mentors in their offline life, are reading things as self harm, are actually being harmed by the social side of fandom where they've found some creep for horny roleplay, are the subject of a public hate campaign, etc. That sucks, but it's not something I can control or that will get better if we exclude them from fandom.
Teens would be better protected by their parents removing TikTok from their phones than by anything to do with fandom. Its short form makes it ideal for poorly fact-checked soundbites that sound good on the surface but discourage critical thinking or nuanced engagement with a topic. Youtube et al. are also cesspits, but TikTok has elevated predatory algorithms and viral misinformation to a whole new level.
Now back to rewatching miniminuteman. Hahaha.
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IOTA Reviews: Ladybug and Cat Noir: The Movie
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Once again, I'd just like to apologize for the lack of activity the past few months. The holidays have kept me busy, especially at work, and I've officially decided to go back to school next month. Don't get me wrong, one of my new year's resolutions is to at least try getting back to consistently working on this blog, which is one of the reasons why I'm going to tackle She-Ra in the future. Either way, I'd like to thank you for supporting me this past year even though I haven't been as active as I should be.
When I heard Miraculous Ladybug was getting a movie, I didn't really pay too much attention to the news due to all of the side projects that have been canceled left and right, but then I saw the trailer. It looked decent, and while I had issues with the animation, I was willing to give it a shot since Astruc wasn't on the writing team. Then the movie came out, and while it got mixed reviews, this was how a lot of people in the fandom saw it after suffering through Season 5.
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Yeah, a lot of fans hold this movie in high regard. It's nothing as groundbreaking as other animated films that came out the same year like Across the Spider-Verse and Nimona, but for a Miraculous Ladybug project, it turned out pretty well. That is, except for the brief schism it caused in the fandom. While it's mostly subsided, when the movie came out, there was a debate on which handled the story better, the movie or the show. As always, fandom arguments tend to get complicated, and things only got worse when Thomas Astruc himself decided to throw his hat in the ring by claiming that the show he worked on was better.
Yes, even though fans enjoy a movie based on his characters, because he isn't the one who made it, Astruc thinks his version is better. Just remember, he tweeted this about a month after “Derision” premiered. I feel like that speaks for itself.
Thankfully, the argument has died down for the most part, though there's still discussions on which is the better version. Before I really get into the movie, I just want to remind everyone reading this that my opinion shouldn't be taken as fact. I am not the authority on what people should like, and I don't want anyone to use my review as an excuse to bully other people online for having a different opinion on the movie. While I've made jokes about the show's decline in quality, the show and movie both have their own strengths and weaknesses, and we should be able to discuss them.
With all that out of the way, let's get into Ladybug & Cat Noir: The Movie
Just to be clear, I'm not going to tackle this like my usual reviews. Instead, I'm going to break this review into three sections: what I liked, what I didn't like, and what I'm mixed on.
Things I liked
For one thing, the characterization is pulled off very well. None of the characters are really as annoying or incompetent like they were in the show's later seasons. Part of what I think makes it work is that there's more focus on character arcs that have to be completed by the end of the film. Marinette has to learn to step up as a hero, Adrien has to learn humility while dealing with the loss of his mother, and Gabriel struggles to resist the allure of villainy.
Marinette's anxiety is more pronounced in this movie, especially since in this continuity, Chloe is just starting to harass her, so she's not used to this kind of treatment. While Chloe is a minor antagonist in the civilian plotline, the biggest threat to Marinette when she's not Ladybug is her own self-doubt. Her status as an outcast is used to add to Marinette's lack of confidence in herself. The whole reason she even meets Adrien here is because she tried to hide from Chloe in the library, and she was too nervous to really speak up to Adrien. Hell, the first time she transforms into Ladybug, it's only because Tikki forced her to transform.
I like how Marinette's insecurities transition into her origin as Ladybug, where she's put in a situation where she has to take charge and be more confident. She still gets frustrated with her situation and her new partner's ego (more on that in a minute), but she struggles to really get her head in the game at first compared to how things were in “Origins”. It makes her development into the confident hero we're all familiar with feel more natural, as the climax of the movie shows her fully asserting herself as the protector of Paris and a beacon of hope for those to look up to.
Adrien is also handled very well here. As much as I liked “Origins”, I have to admit it didn't really do much with him as a character. With the exception of wasting his first Cataclysm, he just goes about the two-parter like it's another day at the office for him. That's why I'm a huge fan of the movie actually giving him stuff to do. Unlike the show, his arrogance is shown in a more negative light and is shown to be a major character flaw he needs to overcome. Nobody tries to excuse or deny his actions, and he learns how to become a better person.
This is what makes his dynamic with Ladybug so interesting. For their first battle together, he's overconfident and assumes that he's the leader, even though he's just as new at this as Ladybug is. The two trade insults and bicker while fighting their Akuma and even when they meet Master Fu afterwards. While Cat Noir does fall for Ladybug, Marinette still isn't open to it, not because she loves someone else, but more because she finds him to be unbelievably annoying. She doesn't really hate him the same way she does Chloe. It's more like that one coworker you can't stand but have to tolerate regardless.
Both Ladybug and Cat Noir help the other improve as they gain each other's respect. Ladybug gains more confidence in order to keep Cat Noir from bossing her around, while Cat Noir becomes more humble to become a better hero. Eventually, Cat Noir reverses his position and assumes he's the sidekick, only for Ladybug to deny that claim and declare that the two are partners. This statement also reflects how both of them are responsible for saving the day in the end. While Adrien ultimately reaches through to his father, Ladybug saves Adrien and repairs the damage caused by Hawkmoth. Both played a role that was instrumental in the climax, and neither one feels ignored by the narrative.
Another character who really got a much needed revamp is Chloe. Yes, she's still Marinette's primary bully, but it's more downplayed than in later seasons. She stays a challenge exclusive to Marinette's civilian life instead of trying to be a challenge to Ladybug. The closest thing she does to opposing the heroes is kick Cat Noir off a runaway Ferris wheel out of fear, and even then, she gets her comeuppance through Ladybug throwing her in a dumpster while saving her. Chloe is also much smarter than in canon, being able to read the room to mask her emotions and maintain her image or to prey on someone's insecurities if they get in her way. Don't get me wrong, she's still a source of comic relief, but the movie treats her slightly more seriously than canon does.
Speaking of comic relief, here's something that I think made this Chloe better than the one seen in the show: The jokes were actually funny. Yeah, it's not laugh out loud, but I like how rather than make jokes about how immature and stupid Chloe is, her jokes are focused more on her own ego and self-image. Well, that, and wanting to kick Marinette's ass. I'm not making this up. Chloe in this movie threatens Marinette several times, and it's honestly amazing.
She unironically put the fear of God in Marinette's eyes in her first scene alone.
I also like how they handle her role as a love rival to Marinette. Unlike the show, Chloe and Adrien never interact, and it's implied that this continuity won't use the childhood friends element introduced in Season 2. It's a good way to show the difference between her and Marinette, how for all her boasting, Chloe doesn't know Adrien the way Marinette gets to know him.
Gabriel is easily the best part of the movie. This version is more fleshed out compared to the show. Rather than flip-flop between sympathetic and pure evil, the movie leans more on the sympathetic side for Gabriel's character. His very first scene shows the grief he's going through while thinking about Emilie, and Keith Silverstein gets to show off more emotions than just over the top sociopathy. You understand why he chooses to become a supervillain, but you want to see him get better, making for a very somber character. I especially love the delivery of the line where he finally gives in and transforms for the first time.
Gabriel: If chaos is the way, I will burn the world and lose myself in the flames to do so!
That line has no right to go as hard as it does.
We see him descend more into villainy as his appearance becomes more disheveled. Despite claiming to care for his son, the Gabriel and Adrien don't interact until the 70-minute mark. By the time the two do talk, Gabriel looks like a mess compared to how he looked at the beginning.
I really like this writing decision, as it highlights the distant relationship between the two, and how being Hawkmoth has only made things worse for Gabriel. Seeing Gabriel finally realize how unhealthy his coping mechanisms have been when he learns Adrien is Cat Noir is a satisfying scene, as it feels like a natural way to put an end to his arc. Compared to canon where he wins and never really feels bad for what he did, this version of Gabriel is far more remorseful at the sight of his son battered and bruised and breaks down sobbing. Remember, this was the version Astruc said we “wanted” and not the one we “needed”.
As for the Miraculous, things were changed to better fit the story, and I like most of what they did. I like how there's more focus on the teamwork between Ladybug and Cat Noir. Their Miraculous don't just grant a wish when used together. They literally become stronger when the two work together, and it makes a lot of sense. I like how the teamwork aspect is rewarded in-universe, because it shows how the heroes can do more than create and destroy stuff. I also think the addition of a call function on their Miraculous makes perfect sense, and clears up a ton of potential communication errors.
The fight scenes are also pretty creative. There's a lot of focus on using the environment to fight the Akumas. The very first fight has Ladybug and Cat Noir defeat the Akuma by letting a train hit it, and the second major fight involves a Ferris wheel going out of control. This leads to more varied action and well choreographed fight scenes. I especially like how with the exception of the Mime (and a brief reference to the Bubbler and Guitar Villain), all of the Akumas are brand-new, so older fans don't know what to expect with these guys.
This level of action also extends to the climax. Hawkmoth uses an Akuma on himself, sending out a massive flock of butterflies. You'd think it'd be like this movie's take on “Heroes' Day”, right? Nope! Instead, the Akumas become tiny attack drones that swarm over Paris like the eight plague of Egypt. I don't know how the animators managed to make an army of purple butterflies menacing, but by God, they did it.
Speaking of animators, my thoughts on the animation have changed drastically. While I still have minor gripes with the character design, I still love how the city of Paris is brought to life, making it seem more populated than in the show. I never really held the limited amount of civilians against the animators in the show, but I'm so happy we can see this show's environment on a cinematic budget. The animation is another reason why I think the action works so well in this movie.
Things I didn't like
When it comes to the changes to the Miraculous, one thing I'm not a fan of is Ladybug not getting her Lucky Charm. It misses the point of her having the power of creation. Yeah, she still has the spotted vision thing she had in the show, but it takes away what made the way she defeats Akumas interesting. She doesn't just beat them into submission. Sometimes, she outsmarts them or reasons with them, and part of the fun with the Lucky Charm is seeing just how she'll use something like a coat hanger or an old football trophy to defeat them.
I also don't like this movie's take on the Butterfly Miraculous. The very first scene has Master Fu build it up as an evil artifact capable of turning people into monsters. Remember, “Origins” established the Butterfly as something capable of creating superheroes, a power Gabriel twisted to create villains instead. Hell, I hate this rule, but the Paris Special made it clear that Miraculous can be used for good or evil, and it all depends on how the power is used. In other words, Miraculous don't kill people, people kill people. Bottom line, I prefer the idea of the Butterfly being the same as the other Miraculous, with the user and intent making it evil.
The one character who I felt the movie absolutely misrepresented was Plagg. This version of the character has none of the heart he had in the show. Yes, Plagg was crass there too, but he had just as many scenes showing how he cared for Adrien like a little brother or a nephew. He was Adrien's primary confidant and wanted to help him however he could. Even bad Plagg-centric episodes like “Kuro Neko” or “The Kwamis' Choice” made it clear he wants what's best for Adrien and is capable of coming up with plans if they'll help him.
Here, Plagg is mostly just there to make snide comments and fart a lot. Say what you will about the show, but at least it didn't make Plagg farting into a running gag. Plagg only gets a handful of lines in the entire movie, to the point where even Tom has more lines than he does. Tikki gets plenty of scenes with Marinette and an entire song, while Plagg feels like an afterthought.
Things I'm mixed on
This might be a little controversial, but I have mixed feelings on the portrayal of the Love Square as a whole in this movie. Don't get me wrong, the Ladynoir scenes are great, but there's not as many Adrienette, Ladrien, or Marichat scenes. In fact, I don't think there were any Ladrien or Marichat scenes in this movie, which is weird. I can at least excuse those, but it's weird how little Adrienette scenes there are. Not counting the masks, they only have four major scenes together before the end, and one of those is a deleted scene that had the dialogue cut over a montage.
While I'm glad the entire movie wasn't about the Love Square drama, the romance between Marinette and Adrien specifically feels a little rushed. I think it would have benefited the movie to have ten or fifteen more minutes to flesh out this subplot a little instead of only focusing on Ladynoir.
I'm also unsure what to say about the songs. Most of them are pretty catchy and have great visuals, but the dissonance between the singing voices of Marinette and Adrien throws me off. I don't get why neither actor for the French or English dub was asked to sing. For some reason, Tikki and Gabriel's voice actors got to sing, but not Marinette and Adrien. At the very least, Drew Ryan Scott's singing voice sort of sounds like Adrien, but Lou's singing voice makes Marinette sound twice her age. Don't get me wrong, I still liked the songs, but this choice was very jarring to me.
And now, because literally nobody asked for it, here's every song in the movie ranked.
8. If I Believed in Me
A very dull “I want” song that's just Marinette wandering around Paris on the way to school. Compared to “Little Town” from Beauty and the Beast, where you can easily follow Belle and understand how she goes about her day, it's not clear what kind of route Marinette is taking. Even the lyrics are pretty bland, just talking about wanting to follow her dreams and be more confident. The issue is that her dreams of being a fashion designer barely factor into the plot, and she only becomes more confident thanks to being a superhero, something she didn't dream of. The only real dud in the soundtrack.
7. Opening Remix
Not much to say here. It's a remix of the opening theme with the new singers. It sounds nice.
6. Reaching Out
This is a much better song than “If I Believed in Me”. It does a great job expressing Marinette's doubt and how she feels pressured to be somebody she's not. Great way to follow up on her heart getting broken by Adrien.
5. My Lady
This one's a quickie, but it's still fun. I love the visuals in this one and how it gradually crescendos, reflecting the new feelings Cat Noir has for Ladybug developing.
4. Stronger Together
Surprisingly, Ladybug and Cat Noir's only duet in the movie, but it's still really good. I love the use of the set in the theater Cat Noir took Ladybug to at the beginning before they run around Paris. The lyrics do a great job showing how far the two's relationship has come, making it clear how close they are, only for reality to metaphorically kick them out of the sky.
3. You Are Ladybug
Another duet, this time between Marinette and Tikki. While I still think Cristina Vee should have gotten to sing this one song given her chemistry with Mela Lee, Lou still does a great job expressing her anxiety. The back and forth between Tikki and Marinette makes this a blast to watch, especially with it using the same music as the theme song. Even the rap part with Tikki was fun to watch. I especially love the part where Tikki excitedly tells Marinette about how dangerous the job is and how close she'll come to getting killed.
2. Chaos Will Reign Today
The villain song in this movie had no right to be as good as it is. The visuals are eerie and fit the more menacing tone of the song. Keith Silverstein gives his all to make up for his crime of singing the Hawkmoth Rap. It's also a hell of a lot better than the villain song Disney had to offer that year.
1. Courage in Me
Easily my favorite song in the movie. The visuals of Marinette struggling to hop across these black spots symbolizing her yo-yo before her transformation into Ladybug is awe-inspiring. The lyrics are a great way to solidify Marinette embracing her role as Ladybug, and it's such a triumphant song to listen to.
Other things I noticed
During the first Akuma fight, Ladybug and Cat Noir pass by some guys with stereotypical French accents while almost every other character speaks like they're in America.
Careless Whisper plays one time in Cat Noir's mind as he develops feelings for Ladybug. The fact that he listens to it after getting his heart broken has to be one of the most subtle jokes I've ever seen in this franchise. Of course, it's clear what the best superhero cover of Careless Whisper really is.
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Cat Noir says he has the power of destruction in his introduction while being impressed when Master Fu says the same thing.
There's a Volkswagon tie-in that actually features the two heroes promoting some cars in-universe. This is a real shot from the movie.
I think Chloe ships Alyanette, judging from this exchange:
Marinette: Seriously, Alya, you think Adrien would say yes?
Alya: Of course! I'm gonna ask Nino.
Chloe: I think you should go together, 'cause Adrien is coming with me, not with some baker girl.
I don't think Ladybug ever learned Cat Noir could play the piano, so seeing Cat Noir try to woo her with a little piano number is a nice inclusion.
When Cat Noir's mask is destroyed in the final battle, his exposed eye is still green. Was this where the chibi shorts got the idea from?
Other people have pointed this out, but the picture of Adrien as a kid is traced from a character from The Boss Baby. That's an automatic ten point deduction for making me remember that movie exists.
The post-credits scene with Nathalie was weird.
Did Master Fu not know he lost the Peacock Miraculous too?
Why isn't Emilie in any form of suspended animation?
Is the Peacock still damaged?
Did the Peacock still kill her/send her into a coma?
Was Adrien still created by the Peacock?
Why didn't Gabriel use the Peacock or at least consider it?
Did Gabriel forget to tell anyone about the other Miraculous he has after turning himself in?
Why did Gabriel choose to tell Nathalie when she didn't seem to help him while he was still Hawkmoth?
Final Thoughts
Overall, this was a really good movie, and a fresh take on the show's universe. I had issues with it, but I still think this movie series has promise. The animation was great, the songs were catchy, and the characterization was on point for the most part. It even manages to be a better musical than the ones big names like Disney and Warner Bros have made in the past two years. It's one of the best things to come out of the franchise, no question. I wouldn't mind future installments set in this continuity over whatever Season 6 churns out.
#immaturity of thomas astruc#iota#miraculous ladybug#ladybug and cat noir the movie#thomas astruc#thomas astruc salt#marinette dupain cheng#ladybug#adrien agreste#cat noir#chat noir#gabriel agreste#hawkmoth#hawk moth#alya cesaire#nino lahiffe#chloe bourgeois#nathalie sancoeur#tom dupain#master fu#tikki#plagg#Youtube
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I’m imagining the families switch to yandere mode will come soon after reader is outed as a serial killer, it’s already bad enough with them missing out on their kid/ sibling’s life, because they just didn’t notice, but people are dead now!
It would be an easier pill to swallow if they were like Jason and killed criminals , but no, they kill innocent people.
dozens of people gone and the culprit not being stopped because they just…didn’t see the signs?!
imagine she sheer chaos that would come about if people found out their identity as a Wayne? There is absolutely no way that people would believe that Bruce just allowed this to happen, he’d go from brucie Wayne the philanthropic himbo to another morally bankrupt billionaire who let his kid kill people for funsies.
even if the public believed the truth everyone would -rightfully- blame him for literally having a Chinese parade's worth of red flags in the damn face, in his own home and not seeing it
Not me giggling smiling and kicking my feet over this, the worms are eating gooooood today ya'll.
So, like I said in my last post, before even writing most of this stuff I made sure that I had a whole timetable of important events and how old the characters are during them and what not, so I DO know how the MC gets caught. Though that could be subject to change if I find something more interesting
That being said, I never really planned for the general public to find out about readers' crimes. Once the bat fam finally catches on and tries to huddle them away, as far as the rest of Gotham is concerned, this major serial killer is still at large.
I also really really wanted to make it clear that y/n? Is not a good person.
Be it by circumstance or their own making, they simply just aren't. Yes, the hand they were dealt by fate was cruel and painful, but they chose which direction they went in based on their life experiences. Reader is fully aware of that, and is rather peeved with the batfams pity party on how it’s “all their fault you’re like this”
Because??? No? It's not??? Sure, they definitely didn’t fucking help, and most times made it worse with their actions, but you already had a slew of mental issues that were left unchecked, genetic ones inherited from your mother and father, and those formed by early childhood trauma and neglect. But you chose this, they didn't hand you the knife and or force your hands around your victims necks. It was all you. You wouldn't let them take the one form of control you had left.
Obviously you were not inherently evil because of forces out of your control, but you did choose it, and you will not let them delude themselves into thinking otherwise. Hurt people, hurt people, as the saying goes.
But does that make what the batfam are doing okay? Keeping the reader locked within the Manor, the family taking on the roles of Judge, Jury and Executioner and thus denying the General Public and the victims families the right to Justice, as well as denying the reader the right to a fair trial.
Going against their own morals by asserting their own feelings of guilt over the law, and in doing so, they are actively obstructing justice. Complete and utter hypocrites. But they always have been, haven't they? Things get even more confusing and strange when even after the reader is caught by the batfam, is jailed in what's essentially a glorified prison. The murders. Don't. Stop.
#yandere batfamily#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batfam#yandere dc#gender neutral reader#gn reader#platonic yandere batfam#Serialkiller!reader#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne#yandere cassandra cain#yandere bruce wayne#yandere barbara gordon
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Viktor is literally art nouveau
I was looking at Viktor's design in league of legends and it hit me, Viktor in Arcane IS Art Nouveau
Not literally but yes literally in a way lmao
Let me walk you through my thought process
I was looking at the league of legends design, and I thought that the fact that Viktor still had hair was weird if the whole point of Viktor is human bad machine good, then why does he has something as human as hair?
Then I thought about the Arcane Herald design, and it actually made more sense that this Viktor still had hair, why? Just look at his robots
The first thing that called my attention was their shoes, because those aren't normal heels, no, those are heelless heels! and let me tell you
1) Viktor isn't straight (no straight man would know and like those shoes, you can't fool me)
2) That's like the worst shoes you could ask for to fight/run in, do you know how easy is to fall with those shoes? No, they aren't practical, those shoes are merely for visual pleasure
And it doesn't seems like Viktor would be the kind of man that would put looks above functionality but then you think about how his designs in general have a very heavy preference for art nouveau; which, is also very much beauty over function
His robots have the asymmetry, A flowing organic shape, a preference for a feminine figure, the reference to flora on the patterns. They're are art nouveau bots and theres no way to deny that, and Viktor's Herald design is too, to some extent
Again, preference for a feminine figure, flowing organic shapes, his staff looks like a tree (kinda), asymmetry to some extent (not as much a his robots), hair (very important). You can reasonably say that it was at least inspired by art nouveau
Then we have the design of his room/house in the commune, it's pretty much art nouveau inspired too. I've seen some people say that Viktor made this to reference the Hexgates because he missed Jayce, but now I'm thinking, what if it wasn't that he missed Jayce, but more that the Hexgates were originally his design
And listen, I know I know, both worked on the hexgates, both should be credited equally, but realistically, I think it's fair to say that both of them probably had different levels of involvement on different things? So what if Viktor was the one with the original idea for the outside design and Jayce then added the art deco elements? Then Viktor repeated it on the commune with a more art nouveau style simply because he likes it?
And you might ask. Why does it matters? Why does the fact that Viktor likes art nouveau means that he's the personification of art nouveau?
Well; now to the point, I studied a little of art history on college, and I was a bit obsessed with art nouveau back then, and you know what was the goal of it?
Art nouveau was made to bring art to the common person, to have every day objects being a piece of art. It was supposed to get art away from the rich and to give it to everyone. But it failed
And you know why Art Nouveau failed and was quickly abandoned?
Two things, 1) it was too expensive, and 2) World War 1
So ironically Art Nouveau ended up being too expensive to reach the people they wanted to help so it stayed a rich people thing, and then it had to be abandoned almost completely because of WW1; there weren't enough materials to make it and a lot of people that became poor because of the war didn't have the money to spend on it
It was very short lived even when it made a big impact on history (That reminds me of someone)
Now compare art nouveau's history to what happened to Viktor (And Jayce)
They wanted to make magic accessible to the common people, to help; but it ended up being so that Hextech only helped people in Piltover to get richer while people in Zaun got worse and worse
Then something happened, a war, and both Viktor and Jayce had to abandon their dreams
Add to that the name art nouveau means new art, and in Spain it was called "Modernismo" Why? Because it wanted to be the future of art, young, refreshing, a bright future different from the past. Who else wanted to be the future of something? Men of progress who?
Viktor (and Jayce to some extent but I think he's more art deco lmao) IS Art Nouveau. It's his story
(And funnily enough, you can find art nouveau in Zaun, but I don't remember ever seeing art deco in Zaun, while it's the main thing on Piltover)
(Also also, I have some thoughts about Jayce being Art Deco, but that's for maaaybe later lmao)
Listen I'm a death of the author guy, I'm going to find meaning on my own. But either someone in the art department had to know the history of art nouveau and made a point of making it Viktor's main style (because it is Viktor's style, like I showed before), or it's just an extremely funny and fitting coincidence
#ramblings#arcane#viktor#viktor arcane#viktor league of legends#league of legends#Jayce Talis#arcane meta#arcane analysis#That moment when art nouveau and art deco are boyfriend lmao
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The problem with "theft" in the context isn't one of defending IP bullshit, but rather that AI's entire purpose is to separate the generation of art from the people making it. It's theft of labour in a system even worse than typical theft that happens in a job because now the artists aren't compensated at all.
A lot of people get caught up in the weeds of artists deserving to be paid under the current system, and so many people end up defending IP bullshit thinking that will in any way help.
Stuff should be going into the public domain, these systems should be being trained on public domain stuff, and artists shouldn't have to rely on an industry that hates them to put food on their table and a roof over their head.
There's also the energy and resource cost of running these systems, which is a whole other thing. If you thought crypto or NFTs were bad for the environment, these shitty "AI" tools make them look environmentally friendly by comparison.
And while we're at it, it's utterly insulting to people's intelligence to call this bullshit "AI" that's just a shitty marketing term that's stuck. It's not "intelligent" it's fancy autocomplete attached to as much data as they could get their hands on. Which don't get me wrong is technologically interesting and there could be some interesting use cases (especially if we could more easily train them to be personal assistants and train them on our own personal data instead of like "as much of the internet and people's personal stuff as we can get") but it sure as hell ain't got it's own intelligence.
I can never take anyone seriously when they put good arguments against "AI" (e.g. it doesn't and won't ever do what it claims to do) alongside bad ones (e.g. intellectual property "theft") and it's infuriating to see how this issue turns seemingly reasonable "leftists" into intellectual property bootlickers. it feels like everyone is obsessed with putting positions into one of two clearly wrong camps and I hate it.
I'm not exaggerating when I say you're one of only two left wing creators I can think of with good takes on AI art, and the other one is shitty kickflips, who cited Punk in her video.
would you ever consider making a video on, not just the AI bubble, but especially the shitty discourse surrounding it?
I really liked your analysis on how, despite being in the right, furries are notoriously bad at defending furry porn, and I'd love to see something along those lines on how artists and leftists are bad at defending brainmade art and arguing against AI. judging by your tumblr and your copyright videos, I think you are uniquely qualified and capable of making an actually good video on this topic.
The issue with AI is that it's a moving target, it's the same reason that Dan Olson hasn't made a video about it. I haven't toyed with any of the tools in a long while because of how quickly the usability plummeted after they started putting more and more stuff in the backend to make the outputs prettier. Maybe something really short, just focusing on the arguments which still haven't changed.
right now my take is that i care about art more than i care about this stupid technology that can't do anything & i would rather cede ground to the STTCDA than make anti-art arguments in favor of intellectual property or "effortful artmaking"
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I've seen a comment that has been on my mind a lot lately, that the fandom was dead and that there was some gatekeeping. And to be honest, I have no idea if it's true or not and I want to reflect on it.
I've been away for two years, and for sure Tumblr is different. It's not about people, because they are always lovely fans no matter what. I also don't think I have nostalgia goggles telling me "things were better back then" lol I think it's just that Tumblr, for all its flaws, used to have more public fandom discussions. For better or worse, because posting a reply could encourage discussions that were better left alone - but now it seems like nothing is really public or fandom-wide. It's no longer the norm. Replies are left in the post itself so you have less reblogs with discussions. It's very self contained, which, in my humble opinion, might lose a bit of a sense of community.
The main tag itself used to be filled, and now it's not, clearly because a lot of people aren't active anymore. But it's not just that? I find that I discover more posts using the search function, so I'm always a bit confused about how people tag or intend their posts to be found. Maybe it's just me, but it's unclear to me. And I'm at fault too, I've been very intent on not tagging the main tag for a while, and I don't know why. It's not like I'm hiding, but it felt like my playthrough ramblings didn't belong there. Which is ridiculous, because I wouldn't feel that way about posts like this made by other people. I would want to find those in the tag.
I have a feeling a lot more discussions are now happening on Discord, which is not for me. I don't have the mental capacity for now to check a server every day, see new messages and reply. I tried and it's too much. I would feel the same about fandom boards, though they're less instant, so who knows.
Then you have other apps, which don't always encourage discussions. I've been trying to find vids on TikTok, some are great, but the algorithm fed me a lot of ranking companions type of vids with character bashing so I just paused the whole thing.
Then the gatekeeping, I don't know. I think I learned a lot and matured a bit, so I hope my own behavior in fandom is better and more chill than it used to be. But if I am gatekeeping one way or another, you have to tell me. I mean it. Just flat out tell me and explain, because I would never try to be like this on purpose, and I would need to know what I'm doing wrong to do better.
Lately there have been some DA fans who are experiencing ME for the first time and I'm happy for them. There's a lot of joy in discovering this universe, and I would hate for anyone, me included, to take that away from them.
I'm happy when I get to fill the queue, when people are involved, when there are discussions, when we have fun. That's what I want for Appreciation Weeks, even if I know it will be smaller than other years. It's in a few days and I would hate for anyone not to participate because they worry about how they will be received. If there are ways I can make it more welcoming, tell me!
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All NRC boys are dork fr
Like
They're all so silly and goofy
Vil has SEEN merch of himself and he looked at this "peanut" (that's literally vil if he was born a burrito) and was like "This is HOT me"
Rook doing spins in the hallways when he needs to be doing homework and if you ask him he'll be like "No 🥰😘💖"
Jamil will have a hankering for curry and assume that clearly is fate, god told him to go eat curry. He will break into dance against his will if the urge to dance is too strong.
Goobers
All of them are goobers that are capable crazy stuff but like their day to day when at least is being a goober
Rook is silly but honest. Though confused about why you rejected him when he asked you out after he captured you. He's smart but dense in his own way.
Poor Jamil doesn't get to eat his favorite food often back home because of the whole getting poisoned thing, which lead to it not being allowed to be served in Kalim's home.
You just know that makes the cravings worse.
I love even Jamil has his own silly side.
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Falsettos unpopular opinions because two people asked for this and honestly I don’t give a fuck anymore. I want to state this isn’t in response to anyone in particular, though, and if you get offended by any of these think about why. For a good reason? Please tell me and I’d love to debate it, truly. For a petty reason? You’re simply part of the problem.
1. They are Jewish. End of story. If I see anything related to Christianity or Christmas or whatever the fuck with them… shut up. Yes Whizzer is half-Jewish, yes in the revival Cordelia isn’t Jewish (WHICH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER POINT ILL GET INTO LATER), yes they are most likely secular as evidenced by Mendel’s “religions just a trap” and ‘Days Like This’, no this does not give you the right to ignore their ETHNICITY AND CULTURE.
2. It’s okay to like the revival more. It’s not okay to ignore the original just because you get blinded by conventionally attractive men. Going to my Cordelia point, she’s Jewish in the original, her line ‘Shiksa caterer’ is ‘Kosher caterer’. Again it’s fine if your headcanons and fanfics and fanarts are based on the revival, I love it too, but stop acting like it’s the only version.
3. Whizzer’s entire personality does not revolve around being gay. He’s not a sassy twink. He’s a full grown man with issues that need to be addressed. Again, I reiterate, he is not a twink. Stop. Drawing. Him. Skinny. And. Hairless. I don’t care if ‘ oh but but that’s just my art style!’ Shut up.
4. Correlated to the above point, here are things Whizzer is not: a prostitute, a drug addict, relying on Marvin for everything, a twink (saying that again to get it through peoples fucking skulls), innocent. I’m 100% positive if the people who had these headcanons watched the OBC version of the show they’d never continue to advocate for them… once more I’m begging you guys to look past Andy Randy’s beautiful face and actually use critical thinking skills when it comes to Whizzer.
5. Short but (not) sweet: don’t claim to understand Marvin if you haven’t watched In Trousers. Just don’t.
6. If you flat out hate any character in the show, you’re wrong. Yes I’m still mad about the Mendel thing; if you think any one character is worse than the rest and isn’t just a fully human person with flaws and nuance, you don’t understand the musical as well as you claim.
7. It’s not the ‘gay’ musical. If you like falsettos for Whizzvin and nothing else, please, just… I don’t even know. There’s so much more to it than ‘ooo boys kissing.’ Please grow up, this leads into a whole other point but fetishisation is never okay, no matter who does it.
8. So many people treat Trina as either a perfect angel or just the side character in the way of the gay people. She’s an entire person, an entire character with flaws and hardship and terrible actions done by her and to her. Treat my homophobic queen with the respect she deserves, and acknowledge her faults too. It’s more misogynistic to treat her as perfect when she has issues too than just saying ‘she’s never done anything wrong’.
9. Stop making AIDS jokes.
10. This next one is probably the most iffy on the list. I will never be one to police fandom and creation, you can engage with material in any fucking way you like it literally doesn’t matter to me… but I dislike AUs. Now, I’ll always enjoy a little fun, adding in a twist like lesbian Whizzvin, or enjoying a feel good college AU. But. Especially for Falsettos the canon events are so fucking important and cannot be disregarded as casually as some do. AIDS is an extremely important part of the story, as well as the fact that both Marvin and Whizzer are men. I’m trans myself, but I dislike making them so simply because everything about their characters, all the characters, are so highly specific and important to take these aspects away is to disrespect the message of the musical.
11. It’s very important Mendel is straight. I see some people headcanon him as bisexual or trans or so on, and this just feels so wrong to me. Trina and Mendel are straight and that’s why their acceptance and love for the others in the Tight Knit Family is so important, especially Trina struggles with moving away from the idea that these ‘homosexual tendencies’ are wrong. They are straight but they love Whizzvin and the lesbians just as much as anyone else.
12. This one is so petty and I accept that, but… HIS NAME IS NOT MARVIN GARDENS. GARDEN IS A JOKE CHRISTIAN BORLE MADE BASED ON MONOPOLY. Jesus guys please just stop it it’s so stupid, William Finn didn’t have a last name for Marvin on purpose, and though I can’t do more than theorise what that purpose was, Gardens is so stupid. It’s not even funny. Same goes for Cohen, which just is odd. The only name I could begin to accept is Falsetto, and even then… just work around the last name in your fics.
12 1/2. SIDE TANGENT Jason would never take Weisenbachfeld as his last name. As a child of divorce… no. He’ll never view Mendel as a true father over his own dad, especially after Falsettoland, and he wouldn’t take that name. Hell, I’d known my ex step-father since I was two and I’d never have taken his last name. So, please, I never want to see Jason Weisenbachfeld again. That’s just not how it works.
At the end of the day this is just me alone in my room bitching… I just hope these points resonate with others.
#falsettos#falsettos opinions#don’t like this? just scroll and move on with your life#I’m tired of seeing these points#marvin falsettos#the marvin trilogy#whizzer brown#whizzer falsettos#jason falsettos#trina falsettos#mendel falsettos#mendel weisenbachfeld#Charlotte falsettos#Cordelia falsettos
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Welp, after a long... loooooong road of S2 to sift through in HB, here's my official review of the "Sinsmas" finale to wrap things up (*no Christmas pun-intended lol*):
NOTE: My thoughts below will contain some obv spoilers so you miiiight wanna skip this post if you haven't watched "Sinsmas" yet; also like with all my past reviews these are just my personal opinions alone (+fair warning that I'll be getting a bit rant-y later too), so... do remember to keep things civil if you disagree with anything here (and if not, welp... yall are free to block & move on, I guess lol 🤷♀️), thank you 🙏🙏
Loona continuing to show more appreciation & excitement around her dad/I.M.P. is great to see, and about time we finally got her joining in on an assassination gig again (which I don't think we've had since S1's "Spring Broken"?). I like her new Hellhound friends shown towards the end too, they look chill~
As much as I've lowkey grown a bit... disinterested in M&M these past few episodes (not to a hate-level or anything but they just don't really... "spark" for me, OTP-wise?), it is nice to see a return to their bloodthirsty-based couple fluff (aka: their lil Sinsmas-based playfight at the beginning), bringing me back a bit to the og pilot days (ex. "Oh Millie" ❤️). -Buuuut dang, who would've thought things would escalate to Millie turning out pregnant?? .o. I know there's been some controversy for Millie's less-than-happy reaction about it towards the end; but honestly I absolutely don't blame the poor gal if you consider: 1) She's a proud fighter & trained assassin who's always been passionate about her current line of work, and (depending on how imp pregnancies work) having this potentially putting her out of a job for a long while would make anyone stressed out imho 2) Imps are considered the lowest-of-the-low ranked species within Hell as it is; with not a whole lot of access to good paying jobs + medical coverage (given Blitz's struggle to get Loona her vaccinations). Imagine you were someone who found yourself expecting a child with a good chunk of Hell not considering you "high-up" enough in the food chain to care... wouldn't you get freaked out too? 3) Lastly, and this being among the biggest points to me personally... did her & Moxxie ever talk about having kids before? Given the implication that they rushed to get married so soon after dating (+Millie not even knowing about Moxx's mafia background til WAY after), I... can't say I'd be surprised if Millie's fear is partially based on how Moxxie would react (for better or worse). Kids are by-far among the biggest dealbreakers for any relationship, so while I don't necessarily think this'll cause something like a split between M&M... yeaaaah I wouldn't be surprised if this still caused some lingering-tension either way, regardless of if they go through with this pregnancy or not 🤷♀️ (On a side note; loved seeing Sallie May popping up to give that well-needed support to her sis on the phone, aww 🥺)
The side-story with the "karen" sinner and her ex-drama was... weird, all things considered? .x.;; Like, yeah I can see the importance of how this plays into Blitz's relationship woes & such... but, am I the only one who found it weird the writing going all "moralistic" with Blitz NOT going through with the job, solely cause he imagined his idealized family in Stolas (whom I'll cover in a sec btw-) upon spying on the target + his partner & kids? 🤨 Like... I know I've seen some argue that this is "character development" for Blitz, which I normally wouldn't mind seeing... but mind you, this is the SAME dude who was all-too-fine killing a bratty kid, a wife & her happy (albeit cannibalistic) family, a whole bunch of random college kids on spring break (all for the sake of some parking spot drama with Verosika btw), and not even two shorts ago some horny fangirl got met with the same fate by his hands (mostly due to getting caught up in her own fantasy world... and thats it lol). So I just... have a hard time buying into this being some grand "change of heart" moment for Blitz tbh, cause with this whole episode taking place during the winter holiday season (an already money-draining time irl as-is), I... can't help but find it a lowkey dick move of Blitz to rob his fellow employees of a chance to have some more cash on-hand (esp. after the events of "Ghostf**kers" and him draining the company's finances over his Stolas mope-fest, like come on dude-🤦♀️). Heck, if he really-really didn't wanna do it (and this target family seems innocent enough to potentially escape Hell if-killed)... couldn't they have just lied to the lady that they did the deed & take her money anyway (-instead of Blitz immediately punting her out the window 'cause she was bitching about Stolas' writing😑)? Again, this IS Hell we're talking about, so a bit of dirty-dealing doesn't seem far out of the realm of normal there lmao. Buuuut idk, that may just be me... 🤷♀️
We're back again with Andre leading the story as the "main" bad guy, and I'll admit his final confrontation with Stolas & the I.M.P. gang was pretty kickass~ From Stolas throwing the first punches at his smug-ass face, the action-increasing with the ice dragons & Loona going "feral"-mode, and even Octavia coming in to defend everyone from her uncle (with her own personal magic) was pretty rad! 🤩👏👏 One thing that's bothering me about it all though... where tf is Stella during all this going on?? 🤨I know the show's pretty much committed atm to making her as one-dimensionally dumb & evil as possible (not even giving her much substantial dialogue after her repeated "hiLARRRIOUS MUAHAAA~" lines 😒 ), but surely someone like her wouldn't miss the chance to see her ex (+affair partner) smacked down by her brother?? Especially once Via arrived, just imagine the juicy drama potential of seeing Stella having to force herself (+Andre) to call off their attack to appease Via (further adding in salt to the wound for her later decision to walk away from Stolas). Hhhhh Viv, why must u be so allergic to developing Stella (antagonism-wise)... 😔😔
Now, as far as Stolas himself is concerned... *-sighs-* I know I'm gonna get some flack for saying this, but I caaaaaan't with his dude anymore🤦♀️ Yes, I get he's going through a tough time losing everything + adjusting to a simple life now (along with implied-withdrawal symptoms from the lack of "happy pills"). But just... the way Stolas kept getting MORE & more whiny/unappreciative of Blitz (after all he's done to accommodate Stolas, defend him against other imps, giving him a job at I.M.P. on top of everything-), then never uttering a single "thank you" for Blitz's efforts frustrated tf out of me 😑😑. You expect to buy that these two are these "deep destined soulmates" at the end of the day, to the point of Blitz practically becoming a giddy cheerleader to boost Stolas at every turn... ...and yet, at the same time you're telling me Blitz has never asked about Stolas' eating habits before, nor Stolas ever asking about Blitz's love of horses?? That outside of their failed date at Ozzy's, they never once tried to actually talk, share a meal or hangout aside from their once-a-month hookups (pre-"Full Moon")? Sure, the show implies that Stolas has asked about Blitz's day before (via-some throwaway lines + blink-and-you'll-miss-it texts)... but if the audience never actually sees those friendly gestures on-screen, how am I supposed to buy them being in-love now?? -_- Like, to take a note from "Swan Princess":
youtube
Taking away their childhood memory of playing together for a day, the sexual chemistry, the grand gestures, them both having goth angsty daughters... what else IS there for Stolas & Blitz to love about each other, truly? Its one thing if you wanna show them starting over as friends first (awkward roommate-vibes aside), then hell yeah I'd be down to see their rebuilding bond as a more balanced, genuine pairing down the line (making moments like their big kiss + balcony dance 10x more impactful imo)!👍
...But, with how things are now with Viv & crew rushing to go full-romance mode already (regardless of either character's emotional well-being in the story), I... don't think I can see myself joining the Stolas/Blitz ship hype tbh, regardless of what's to come in the next couple seasons...🤷♀️🤷♀️
Now, to cap things off regarding Octavia in all this... She. IS. A. STAAAAARRR😭🌟👏👏By far the best thing to come out of this finale IMHO; just seeing Via standing her ground as strongly as she did, both in-defense of her dad AND against him... goddd, that was powerful q-q💜 And before anyone mentions it, no I don't think Via was in anyway "wrong" for her reaction to Stolas (regardless of his efforts to reach her by the end). Imagine you're in her position; the product of an loveless, toxic marriage forced upon by a rigid society, living your childhood blissfully unaware & happy until everything comes crashing down in your teen years (through your father's public affair + your mother's rampant rage). All you thought was true is now a confirmed lie, you're stuck in an emotional mess dealing with your parents, and your beloved dad is constantly putting his booty call (+marital drama) a bigger priority over you (albeit unintentionally, but still-)...
Time & time again, Via's been let down by Stolas, the one parent she's always been closest to since the beginning... and to top it all off? Several episodes later, she's watching her father live on TV willingly ready to be executed in Blitz's place (without so much as a single goodbye message to Via, mind you-), effectively breaking his promise that he'd never leave her...
...So, really, how can anyone blame Via for simply being done with her dad, by that point? Stolas may be "trying", I know... but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter that he didn't "mean" to hurt her. What matters most is that... well, he did. More than he can imagine... 💔
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...weeeeew okay that was a bit lengthy my bad- lmao. As a whole, I'd say "Sinsmas" was an... ehhhhh-kinda finale? Like yeah I enjoyed the Via focus we got (+her song💜), the ice battle & the improved M&M + Loona writing... buuuuut oof, am I just exhausted by the Stolas/Blitz-melodrama at this point, oml >>;; No shade to those who did enjoy the finale regardless though, yall are more than valid! 👍👍 Maybe later on I'll give my overall thoughts on S2 (+the overarching story of HB) further down the line if I'm up for it... buuuuut yeah, hope yall enjoyed reading & thanks for sticking around my page~ (for any newer/older Hellaverse fans alike)!👋✨🌙
#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss review#helluva boss critical#stolitz critical#(*hhhhh I did NOT mean to get as rant-y as I did halfway through my bad- lmao*)#(*this past week of post-Christmas burnout took up my attention too much to gather my thoughts in order TxT;;*)#(*here's to a good year ahead tho for 2025!🙏*)#(*since it prob wont be awhile til we get more HB content (canon-wise); hopefully I'll get a chance to work more on my HC/AU ideas!*)#(*cause boiiiii do I have some fun ones forming rn~ 👀*)
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you know what this is about. so, without further ado: i'll let u pick between
Jocasta + tikken (tooka kitten)
and
Rael + shrimp cocktail
RAEL + SHRIMP COCKTAIL IT IS
Furthering my beloved "Dooku wouldn't know SHIT about fancy rich people stuff in his Jedi era" agenda. I got the idea for this because I literally watched a friend do the thing at the end.
*
“Finally.” The two Jedi crash into the backseat of the airtaxi, tangling as a pair of very long legs and two shorter, albeit slightly more intoxicated ones try to find room in the tight space. The droid driver acknowledges their Temple destination coordinates, and, with a lurch and swoop, they join the Coruscanti traffic and leave the heat and noise of the event behind them.
“What an utter, unconscionable disaster,” Dooku, usually the architect of such disasters on missions, announces before Rael can even put his standard distracting-him protocols in place. “A complete farce.”
“Aw, Master, it wasn’t so bad…”
Rael’s both lying and stalling, of course, trying to figure out which point of failure Dooku is even so upset about. If it’s related to Rael’s own misbehavior, or some social misstep of Dooku’s, or both.
“Really?” Dooku’s voice rises incredulously. He’s going wide: his internal targets expanding beyond the particulars into the concept itself, his exhaustion warring with his need to deliver a scathing monologue about the very existence of such fancy political events. “An egregious waste of taxpayer resources with no purpose but pageantry, overindulgence in liquor and ego in equal measures. And both tedious and invasive! For a Jedi of my position? The delegation from Mandriss clearly felt they were entitled to my entire life story.”
“Hmm.”
“And,” Dooku’s tone is aghast now, detailing the worst of the worst, “why do they even have that fork?”
Rael’s been doing the dutifully-listening Padawan bit, since it seems Dooku is just upset in general, not mad at him specifically, but the fork thing makes him snort. Too bad he wasn’t there to see whatever Dooku did with the fork.
“And you?” Dooku rounds on him. “Where were you? You left me trapped with that governor!”
Whoops. Distraction protocol. “I thought the whole thing was that you needed to talk to the governor. Fact-finding stuff. I was giving you space to work your magic!”
“Talk to him? Yes. I needed a single piece of information from him. But our good governor would simply not…” shut up is the sentiment that flashes like heat lightning behind Dooku’s clouded presence, but of course, his dear Master would never say such a thing, so he simply groans into his hands and continues his internal combustion.
It’s a little funny, or would be, if Rael didn’t actually feel bad for Dooku. Tall and elegant with a holostar’s velvet voice and a legitimate family connection to royal governance on Serenno, his Master makes an obvious choice to represent the Order at the occasional high-end political function. Except Rael knows Dooku’s heart is made for the battlefield, not the banquet hall. He actually loves that about him.
“I feel wretched,” Dooku admits, massaging his temples. His righteous outrage seems to be collapsing into ennui.
Odd. When they first started together as Master and Padawan, Rael thought Dooku was a complete stoic: an unfeeling mountain. Once you got to know him though, it was actually amazing how much bitching the man was capable of. Maybe it was that Dooku treated Rael differently now than he had when he was a little kid. There weren’t actually so many years between eighteen and twenty-nine.
“Yeah, yeah, you feel bad ‘cause you didn’t eat hardly anything.” Rael doesn’t have to guess: Dooku has that exact flavor of cranky that has the aftertaste of emptiness and unacknowledged need that always just made everything worse.
Dooku glowers at him.
Rael slings an arm around his shoulders, affection –or possibly the several atomic sting shots he’d taken with the bridesmaids - bubbling up in his chest. Hell, he loves this old man.
“Here,” Consoling now, Rael fishes into his robe pocket. “Want some shrimp?”
“Shrimp?”
He holds out the upsettingly pink offering for Dooku. Five nice, plump cocktail shrimp. Only a little warm from his body heat. Better that way, really.
Dooku is quiet.
“Got the cocktail sauce in the other pocket.”
Rael can’t decide if it is awe or horror dawning in his Master’s eyes. Hell, maybe it’s both.
“They weren’t… even serving shrimp?” That deep, polished voice of Dooku’s is oddly faint.
Yeah. Maybe not at the event Dooku was at. Now, at the wedding party taking place on the event space’s lower level, on the other hand… Rael fixes on his widest, most appealing grin.
A Master may keep a few private secrets, Dooku is sometimes fond of saying, usually about something totally obvious to Rael, like the source of the occasional mark on his collarbone, the one that's always the exact same size and shape as Sifo-Dyas’s mouth.
Well, Rael figures, a Padawan can keep some too.
Dooku glances between his open palm and his smile, calculations happening behind his eyes.
It doesn’t matter. Rael already knows he’s going to eat the shrimp.
#writing low stakes snippets to shake up my creative block over the next few days#so send me a character + prompt if you want one!#might post 'em all in a series on AO3 if I keep my steam up or not#thank you Boli for the great suggestion this was actually super fun <3 <3#I intended these to be much shorter but this one really got me
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People hating evil characters is weird to me. I guess the only characters I actually hate are annoying ones cause usually that’s not a point of their character in the story, they just happen to be infuriating. Like Slade being a bad guy is cause he’s a bad guy, that’s like his whole point as a character. Yeah he can be nuanced and worse at times but he exists to be an antagonist. It completely makes sense to me that the Tara thing makes people uncomfortable but he’s still a fictional antagonist, it’s not really a moral failing on the part of the creators.
Tbh if you've experienced these characters in any way (read TJC or watched the more recent animated movie or read Deathstroke 2016 or watched Teen Titans 2003, or whatever else features their interaction) and you don't like Slade, that's fair enough.
Loving and hating characters (and every other emotion) happens all the time and it's part of the experience. HOWEVER, I do take issues when it's people who do not know the character, who have barely ever seen them and just heard "stuff" from other fandom people, who go on crusades against said character because "they did bad stuff".
You see it in people who hate Tarantula "because she raped Dick" and they have not read one single comic in which she appears - they have no idea what she even looks like or what's her real name, but they "hate her" because they read a post in which the sexual assault was mentioned and since she "did a bad thing" they "hate her now". This has to be the most shallow fucking thing, but it's convenient because if you hate on the "bad guy" it must mean you're morally pure and upstanding and you're one of the good ones.
Back to your point, hating on a character without any kind of reasoning or nuance only because they did "bad things" is the death of critical thinking. But people out there act like characters who do shit that's even vaguely considered unethical or morally reprehensible irl need to be hated, and like their existence is some sort of moral failing from the writer's part, and it's so fucking annoying and childish.
Which leads me to my second point which is a tad more controversial, but hey I'm a bitch with insufferable opinions so here we go I guess.
I'm bothered by people who pick a character and use them as their scapegoat, and I mean collectively as a fandom. It kind of is the case with Slade but he isn't the perfect example, however the principle is the same: hating on the villain, especially when the villain is very human and makes very human mistakes, using them as the only person who is capable of doing evil and therefore acquitting every other character of anything they ever did.
With Slade it becomes that Slade is the only bad guy of his story, who hurt Grant and hurt Adeline and hurt Joseph and raped Tara and killed and maimed and tortured, and therefore Grant has no blame in what he did to himself, and Adeline is just a poor innocent woman who was hurt by her unfaithful husband, and Joey did nothing wrong and everything that happened to him is solely Slade's fault, and Tara wasn't already a mercenary hitwoman for hire who lied and cheated and killed - rather she was just a poor innocent girl who was manipulated and corrupted by the Big Bad Guy.
I don't know if you see what I mean with this, but it's very much a thing in a lot of fandoms, especially when it comes to horror media where there is a cast of controversial, "imperfect" characters. One example of this is Mouthwashing, in which (spoilers ahead of course) there is a cast composed of people who range from being downright horrible to having very human but very noticeable flaws - every single one of them is "guilty" of something, and the protagonist in particular is also the one with the most prominent antisocial behaviors. But he's not benefiting from them - Jimmy isn't someone whose life is made better by his piece of shit behavior, rather this is a person with issues and who struggles with mental health (he's suicidal and has very strong delusions), giving him a very hard time keeping his life in order. Which of course doesn't make any of the horrible shit he does less horrible, but I think it's interesting how he's (mostly) not acting out of convenience, rather he's acting out his own demons. And what the fandom did was deciding that this guy is the only one to blame, and that his shitty behavior absolves everyone else of their sins. He's effectively the scapegoat and everyone else - it doesn't matter if they act selfishly, childishly, violently, cowardly or anything really - is guileless and has never done anything wrong in their lives. Jimmy is the only one who's to blame, and the rest of the cast is made of pure perfect angels.
I've seen this happen in many many cases. And it sort of turns into a mob of people whose only fandom personality is to hate on this one guy and gather Upstanding Morality Points, and of course the natural consequence of this is bothering or even outright harassing people who instead are fans of such flawed characters.
I hate it. I'm not saying anyone should have to like a character in particular, but the way people hate on the "easy to hate" guy instead of trying to understand them, especially when it's a complex character whose action make them suffer as much as the people they're hurting, distances me from fandom spaces. People will see a feral beast of a character with their leg caught in a bear trap hissing and growling while in the process of chewing their own limb off, and will toss stones at them and call them disgusting and weird. It's so unkind and I hate it so much.
#sorry for the wall of text#I'm probably gonna get people in my ask inbox going like YOU CAN'T TELL PEOPLE THEY CAN'T HATE X CHARACTER#because this is the reading comprehension level on the pissing on the poor website#but anyway#my asks
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How I would Rewrite Stolitz
Listen I know I said I would stop talking about HB and that was mostly true. I'm gonna stop angirly ranting about it. This post isn't going to really dive into what I find problematic in the show, at least I'll try not to do that, this is moreso just a rambling about how I would change Stolitz in a way that makes more sense to me.
This isn't gonna be any kind if script or anything. I'm no professional writer, I do it as a hobby, but I do know what good and bad characters are, and I know (vaugely) ways to fix bad characters.
This post will probably be long and have a ton of errors (typos and things) so bare with me. I'm not drafting this up and editing it. This is just from my mind to Tumblr.
My Problems
If you don't feel like reading my combined wordcount of twelve billion on why I dislike Stolitz, I'll lay out my problems for you here.
Stolitz has progressively gotten worse because it's increasing more and more one sided. In the beginning, we got both Stolas and Blitzo's perspectives on their relationship. Stolas sees Blitzo as some sort of savior, a guy who he can forget all his marital problems with, whereas Blitzo sees Stolas as more of an outlet. Someone he can live out a fantasy with but will ultimately never let in because of his self worth issues. They both have troubling, misguided views of each other, and that comes to a head in Ozzie's when Stolas tries to reach out, and Blitzo shuts him down.
This feels forgotten in the newest episodes, and the main issue is that for some strange reason, the focus has entirely pivoted from Blitzo to Stolas. Stolas is pushed into a sympathetic light consistently when he doesn't deserve it. He's just as much of a piece of shit as Blitzo and if anything should be the one to go on an "apology tour" rather than Blitzo. Because Stolas has only ever acted in his own self interest. Since day one, he doesn't care about other people's feelings, and he never will. He sleeps with Blitzo when he wants and then whines to his daughter when she gets upset. But then he keeps doing it and then goes wah wah wah when she gets fed up with it. He treats Blitzo like trash and then acts clueless and heartbroken when Blitzo calls him out on it. He sacrifices his life to save Blitzo, but not because "Blitzo doesn't deserve it," but because "I don't want to see Blitzo killed."
Blitzo is made to be the bad guy almost all the time, even when he doesn't really deserve to be, but Stolas is just the uwu crybaby that we're supposed to feel bad for and Blitzo is supposed to comfort. And I seriously don't like that.
My Rewrite
The number one main thing about the show I would change is I would have Stolas offer the Asmodean Crystal as an alternative MUCH earlier. My idea is that Stolas is a lot more openly caniving and manipulate but is oblivious to it because he's an idiot, and Blitzo sort of let's it happen but gets progressives more and more uncomfortable with Stolas's actions until they blow up.
During the harvest moon festival, the conversation continues mostly the same, with Blitzo complaining about Stolas needing the book. Then Stolas absentmindedly mentions the existence of Asmoddan Crystals, saying he could maybe "put in a good word with Asmodeus to get you one." Blitzo dismisses it entirely, nonchalantly shrugging it off, and you can see him pull up the photo he took with Stolas after one of their nights together off to the side, and it's basically shown to the audience that he's attached but won't admit it.
So Stolas shrugs it off and calls Blitzo a "little imp," which brothers Blitzo, but he let's it slide because "it's just roleplay." And because he's emotionally attached to Stolas.
What I want to accomplish is making it more obvious that Blitzo wants to stay with Stolas but won't admit it. He was still basically coerced into the whole sex deal, but he had an opportunity to leave if he wanted.
All the while, Stolas himself is starting to feel bad. He mostly feels bad for himself because Blitzo is becoming more distant and he wants him back, but he slowly becomes more and more worried until he finally asks Blitzo what's wrong and why he's acting strange.
Blitzo, who's reached an emotional low after Barbie Wire deflects and insults him, gets defensive and insults Stolas, calling him pretentious or whatever.
Stolas then gets angry and the two go back and forth with each other.
On Stolas's side, he's angry because he believes that he's treated Blitzo with respect, when in actuality he's been treating Blitzo like shit. He's completely obvious to how he hurts people and is always indirectly only thinking of himself. Blitzo can see that, which is why he eventually calls Stolas a self absorbed asshole who doesn't care about Blitzo, just like everyone else doesn't care about Blitzo.
On Blitzo's side, he's become emotionally attached to Stolas and doesn't want to admit that because that would make him vulnerable, and he doesn't want to be hurt. He still deeply craves emotional connection, and does slowly break down some walls, but Stolas's self centered actions and demeaning language make Blitzo incredibly uncomfortable. Of course he never communicates that fact until their argument where he vents about it.
Stolas, still angry, but now feeling slightly guilty, reveals he got Blitzo the crystal and turns to leave. Blitzo shouts back at him saying it doesn't fix anything and Stolas is still a stuck up bitch, but accepts the crystal anyways, and the two officially split ways.
I don't have any more ideas after that, so essentially this is a Stolitz rewrite up until The Full Moon. I hope it was at least a tiny bit coherent and what I wanted to accomplish was communicated well. In my opinion Stolas is still mostly in the wrong in this situation, but I wanted to at least try and make Blitzo slightly less sympathetic. I hope the stolitz fans don't kill me.
#helluva boss#helluva boss critical#stolitz#stolitz critical#stolitz rewrite#this is basically a fanfiction#helluva boss rewrite
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I’ll tell you what, I absolutely did NOT expect to wake up at the crack of dawn, open twitter and see George being possessive in front of the other drivers, the cameras and God with my own two eyes
#he was practically undressing Lewis with his eyes and you cannot change my mind#THE WAY HIS EYES JUMPED FROM CHECO TO LEWIS THEN LANDED ON LEWIS AND HE STARTED CHECKING HIM OUT#i’m sure it’s also because Lewis came in with a different outfit on so George just wanted to take him all in#WHICH MAKES THIS WHOLE THING EVEN WORSE FOR ME#I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO PASS OUT#britcedes#gewis#lewis hamilton#george russell#f1
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You know what, fuck it, I have to speak my truth! (this is gonna be a rant, so anyone who actually likes assassin's creed revelations and/or the secret crusade, be warned or maybe don't read this at all)
remember how altaïr talks to king richard at the end of ac1, and richard is like "[humans] come into the world kicking and screaming, violent and unstable. it is what we are. we cannot help ourselves."? and how altaïr answers "no. we are what we choose to be." and how that ACTUALLY has meaning bc he himself was "violent and unstable" at the beginning of the game but he has learned and is now CHOOSING to be a better person who cares about others and humanity at large? remember how his calmness and gentleness was something that he ACQUIRED over the course of the story?
and remember how in revelations they then suddenly had a PRE-AC1 altaïr say about the first of his targets "no man should pass from this world without knowing some kindness." and be all wise and calm and collected during a nice little chat with al mualim, who suddenly acts all fatherly? (like, this is suddenly supposed to be a positive relationship? what??)
also, during the confession the target says to altair: "you put too much faith in the hearts of men, altaïr. [...] humans are weak, base, and petty." and altaïr answers: "no. our creed is evidence to the contrary." KJASJFJDKL???? like, it’s almost insulting how close this exchange is to the one with richard. you know, the one that was actually earned after a whole game of character development. like WTF??? cool congrats now that development means nothing. like, apparently that was just altaïr reverting BACK to being the exemplary assassin who understands and believes in the creed that he was apparently just born as. (i also hate how having a young inexperienced altaïr saying this implies that altaïr's faith in humanity is a sign of naivete instead of a sign of the wisdom he has gained after being confronted with counter arguments for a whole game, and also something that distinguishes the assassins from the templars who use humanity's supposed wickedness to justify controlling them like in AC1, but whatever)
altaïr’s development in AC1 mattered BECAUSE he is not NATURALLY a good person, it actually said something about humanity's capacity for both bad AND good and how humans don't have to be forced to be good through mind control bc they can by their own free will choose to be better when taught how and when allowed the freedom to grow. but no. apparently altaïr has just always been calm, wise and gentle. and he just sort of forgot about that during AC1 bc…. ? bc of adha?? bc of abbas???
oh don’t get me started on the whole abbas thing. (it doesnt even make sense that abbas is so hung up about his father and "his family’s honor", like what about the whole point of al mualim not allowing parents to be close to their children bc it would make them weak? like, my dude, you’re not supposed to HAVE any family aside from the brotherhood)
they used the throwaway character that had like 5 lines and made him into altaïr’s main antagonist in revelations… like, abbas wasn’t supposed to be this ONE dude who had personal beef with altaïr, he was just supposed to show how while altaïr’s revered by many, a lot of his brothers also hate him, bc 1) altaïr is a shitty person at this point and 2) bc there’s no real feeling of community and family in this version of the brotherhood, but just a pervasive sense of competition and jealousy — these assassins don’t care about their goal of safeguarding humanity bc they’re too hung up on petty squabbles and divided by rivalries (you know, the things that made malik hate altaïr even before solomon’s temple and that he overcomes in the end which enables him to forgive and to reconcile with altaïr so they can work together and stop al mualim? (you ever just think about "we are one. as we share the glory of our victories, so too should we share the pain of our defeat. in this way we grow closer. we grow stronger." and cry? bc i do. all the time. malik, the man that you are))
and now abbas is altaïr’s childhood best friend turned lifelong enemy?? like, bowden bent over backwards to come up with an explanation for why altaïr is an arrogant ass at the beginning of AC1, when the explanation is right there: he was raised to kill without asking questions and was constantly praised for how good he is at murder, which resulted in him becoming arrogant and disregarding human life. like, it doesn’t have to be some shakespearean family feud type shit. and guess what, this "simple" explanation actually plays into the story’s themes, who’da thunk!
(like, abbas might not have been a "fleshed out" character in AC1, but he had a specific function and now that function is gone. mr bowden, mr mcdevitt, you know characters are allowed to simply exist to tell us something about their worlds and the systems they live in and sometimes that’s more important and also more interesting than having every single character have a detailed backstory to explain all their behaviors, right?)
with all of this revelations loses all nuance in regards to the levantine brotherhood and also the creed in general. like, altaïr being a master assassin at the beginning despite being a terrible person and not actually understanding the creed is a criticism of the brotherhood and the creed itself. like, it said something about the order that someone like altaïr was able to get that high in rank, simply bc he's good at killing, which also tells us what is considered important in the al mualim era assassin order. when you make altaïr’s arrogance the result of his personal conflicts instead of how we was raised by a brotherhood that only valued one's ability to kill, you lose that characterization of the assassin order itself!
and by suddenly making al mualim a semi good "father figure" you also downplay his manipulation of not only altaïr but all those under his care. (altaïr says something about al mualim being "as a father" to him exactly twice in the codex, but he doesn’t mean by that that he WAS a father to him, what he means is that he was the CLOSEST THING he had bc HE DID NOT HAVE PARENTS, not because his mother died in childbirth and his father was executed when he was young btw, BUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T ALLOWED, like his parents actually lived but weren’t allowed to be close to him, he says he came to view al mualim’s "weak and dishonest" love as enough and even better BECAUSE HE HAD NOTHING ELSE, BECAUSE AL MUALIM ISOLATED HIS ASSASSINS FROM THEIR FAMILIES. al mualim "loved" him bc he was good at killing people for him! hm, i wonder if this could be trying to say anything about cults and indoctrination and the inherent contradiction in fighting for peace and free will by taking children away from their parents and raising them to become killers?? like, altaïr wasn't ~the special orphan boy~ taken in by al mualim bc his father died a hero's death, it was "the way of the order" to have al mualim be the closest thing to a parental figure for everyone to ensure absolute loyalty! altaïr saying al mualim was like his father is not supposed to make you go "oh, he must have actually been a good guy for altaïr to consider him a father", it should make you go "oh that's kinda fucked up that he considers the dude who made him into a killing machine and who manipulated him a sort of father figure"!)
and then in revelations they suddenly portray that relationship as positive and healthy??? like, it would be one thing to give it some nuance by delving into the psychology behind al mualim’s "love" and maybe showing how al mualim did care about altair in a complicated, fraught sort of way (like, you know, there’s a lot of interesting things you could say about al mualim at several points addressing altaïr as "my child" in AC1 and how that parallels Garnier referring to the people he drugged and abused as his "children", and what that says about how the templars view the people who they say they want to save and in whose best interests they supposedly act (in any case, al mualim doesn’t use that phrase because he has any real parental feelings but rather to patronize and to invalidate any objections, like in a "mother knows best" way))
but they even fucking DARE to parallel that relationship with that of altaïr and darim in revelations, by having the reflection in the puddle of darim hugging altaïr showing altaïr hugging al mualim…. like their relationship wasn’t inherently abusive but just tragically cut short because al mualim was just "corrupted by the apple"… like WHAT???? so it’s not the very real problems like grooming, manipulation and indoctrination and the hierarchical structure of the brotherhood itself (all of which are antithetical to the assassin ideology), it was just the evil apple all along. great. that’s DEFINITELY a lot more interesting.
god im sorry i really dont want to spread negativity but this is driving me INSANE. like, somebody please tell me im not crazy bc i feel like somehow most of the fandom is in agreement that revelations and the secret crusade have better storytelling and characterization than ac1.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, can we talk about how, even IF we completely ignore AC1 and treat revelations altaïr as his own character…. the narrative still doesn’t really work?
basically, the whole point of his story in rev is that "he gave his whole life to the brotherhood", this obsession led to him not using his time with his family which has him ending up dying alone in a dark library and this in turn makes ezio reevaluate his life choices…. except. he doesn’t? neglect? his family? or whatever? like, his devotion to the assassins is sort of painted as this tragic flaw that leads to a lonely death bc it supposedly comes at the cost of his family, but… his wife has joined the assassins, (at least) one of his sons is in the brotherhood and even when he goes to protect the assassins against the mongols, he takes his family with him (except for the son who stays behind bc he has a family of his own and who, ironically, ends up dying bc of that)… like, you can’t describe altaïr as a good husband and father in the database and have his son tell him that "everything that is good in me began with you, father" when they say goodbye, and then want to make us believe that he put his family behind the brotherhood and that that is a character flaw that leads to his tragedy.
because you HAVE to have a character’s tragedy be the result of a character flaw. like. that is how tragedies work. otherwise it just becomes tragedy for the sake of tragedy which is… boring bc it has no purpose. and we know it is SUPPOSED to have purpose bc ezIO FUCKING QUITS BEING AN ASSASSIN AFTER WITNESSING IT!
it’s like they want to have their cake and eat it, too — they didn’t want to actually make altaïr a bad husband/father, but still wanted to make his life a tragedy where he loses his family which is why instead they outsource all responsibility to abbas who now has to be the reason for ALL the deaths.
like, they try to make at least maria’s death kind of sort of the result of altaïr’s rashness or whatever but like… these guys KILLED THEIR SON and TOLD HIM THAT ALTAÏR HAD ORDERED HIS DEATH. like, altaïr losing it in response to that is not rash, it’s fucking logical and justified! if anything the scene made me angry at maria for trying to stop him. like, GIRL, he was YOUR son too??? but god forbid we give female characters actual real emotions, she has to fill the role of "voice of reason who dies for altaïr’s man pain" i fucking guess.
like, it’s this weird mix where his tragedy is simultaneously painted as his own fault but also not really bc abbas is the one responsible for all the shit that happens. it just… it just doesn’t really go together.
the only way to make his story make sense narratively and to give it actual purpose is by looking at it in the context of ezio’s story, bc the things he sees in altaïr’s memories are supposed to be a revelation (ha!) to ezio specifically. and i guess that’s maybe the crux of it all — altaïr’s story in revelations was conceived of first and foremost to support ezio’s story and development. which is probably also why many people maybe don’t notice bc, having skipped ac1 and started with ac2, the majority of people mostly care only about ezio and only really appreciate altaïr’s story in as far as it serves to push ezio forward. (tho i’ve also seen a few people say that ezio is also written kind of weird in rev, but i’ve never really been an ezio girly myself so i can’t speak to the truth of that)
like, altaïr dying alone in the library doesn’t really have to make sense for his character, i guess, bc it’s only really supposed to be a cautionary tale for ezio.
so, i guess, for once, they actually had a MAN dying for another man’s character development, which is pretty woke actually. ubisoft, i take everything back jksdsfjhgdsahfhsdhfghfdsgjhsdgjh
#assassins creed#ac1#altair ibn la'ahad#malik al-sayf#ezio auditore#asscreed#rant#long post#this is killing me#i even started rereading the secret crusade bc i thought maybe i remember it being worse than it is#but honestly its the opposite#even just the fact that in the secret crusade altair always says some last sentence after his targets' confessions#has me so irrationally angry aksjdfh#like over sibrands body he says something like 'may death be merciful' or something#like? did they want that to be like requiescat in pace or something???#like aside from the fact that altair WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THESE THINGS#it also just destroys the tension built up by the target's last words#like... i do think it was very much on purpose that the target always had the last word in the confessions#sigh whatever its just a stupid video game from over 15 years ago who cares#(me. i care. unfortunately. i wish i didn't. send help please.)#also the fact that bowden just completely fucked up arabic naming conventions with the whole “umar/darim ibn la'ahad” thing#(which is kind of an achievement considering that wasn't too great in ac1 to begin with)#tho bc of that they kind of inadvertantly ended up implying that roshan is altairs ancestor which i actually kind of like lol#anyways sorry for this giant wall of text#this is probably (definitely) the longest post i've ever made lmsadjf#but i do think i've gotten most of it off my chest.... maybe#maybe ill add stuff if i come across something else that makes me angry lol#sorry i know i promised an essay and instead delivered a rant#i just dont think i have the capacity to actually structure my thoughts any better kajdsf
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this show would be good if literally everything about it was different
#read these tags please(unless ur an HH fan in which case please ignore them) >>> I DO NOT LIKE THIS SHOW#i hate viv///ziepop so fucking much its actually unreal. every time i think about her i seethe#been hatewatching it ('legally') nd its awful. like i mean i knew it would be going into it but goddamn. so much worse than i expected#you may be like 'whyd you draw this then'. i wanted to make a finished piece with my redesigns#for funsies me and my boyf have been rewriting/redesigning the whole show . thats been our fun little craft#i feel similar about this that i do about fnaf and miraculous ladybug even tho this is objectively worse in every way#theres this eternal feeling of like. man. if the writers were competent then this concept would be interesting#but theyre not so. here we are#anyway. im gona try not to put hate in the tags lol#but i like how this turned out too much NOT to post it#anyways mutuals please dont unfollow me for this i promise im normal JDSFHJKDFHJDFKHJK#Hazbin Hotel Redesigns#Hazbin Hotel Critical#Angel Dust#Husk#Huskerdust#I guess.#genuinely a little scared to post this ones. im scared ill lose mutuals over this AND/OR fans will harass me for those tags JHKSDFHJKJK#im posting it and then immediately going to sleep. might delete later if even 1 thing goes wrong#EDIT RL QUICK i wanna add: i dont care if you like the show <33 good for you!!! i respect it!! i liked it when i was 14. i just dont now. <#cloudysarts
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