#WHICH JUST MAKES ME SADDER AND SADDER
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thoughts on second being JAILED?? (I think its funny but I bet poor second is just. Panicked and confused and in tears)
OH DEF. Second is a mess he really got thrown into a fight that wasn’t his own with no way of actually saving anyone until we all thought he did but sadly it wasn’t enough and now he’s away from his friends somewhere he doesn’t know without any way out LIKE. GOD. GIVE HIM A BREAK. He already had to deal with Chosen coming out of the blue and shooting DEADLY LASERS right next to his face!! like that must have been scary as hell and then seeing this guy just get progressively more frustrated w you until your friend comes over like Blue was so brave for that all of the color gang must have been scared shitless of Chosen. AND THEN. HE AGAIN GETS THROWN RIGHT IN IN LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION AND THEN HE HAS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT and his animations are so lovely i really like that he got a chance to fight in his own style but it made me so sad to see them trying so hard and yet being unable to stop both Chosen and himself from getting taken away IDK IDK MAN Second makes me very sad cause they try so so so hard to save everyone and keep everyone safe and near him so this situation is probably making him lose his mind on that damn cell
#you lot know i love rambling my bad guys ERRMM#avm#?#ava#tsc ava#I MISS SECOND SO MUCH ALREADY GIVE MY BOY A BREAK 😭😭#I think Alan has said somewhere Second is the oldest in the color gang but i refuse to believe that#Just imagine the Youngest overall in the series having to carry with this much weight#it makes it all the more meaningful and telling of who he is as a person#WHICH JUST MAKES ME SADDER AND SADDER#ene answers
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Bill and Mike codependency.... save me deep and unhealthy familial relationships...
#it just makes everything sadder if they were really reliant on each other yknow#which is what im AFTER but its SAD#very sad#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#william afton#michael afton#yelling about the bear#they matter so much to me
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me (being delulu) watching Andis instagram story with him on the passengers seat: Stephan is definitely driving that car and they’re going home together
#lellinger#just because I can#i desperately need some good news bc Stephan not doing well all weekend is making my heart hurt#Und if I’ve seen correctly there has been no Lellinger action whatsoever#Which makes me even sadder#and the outlook of Stephan probably not making it into the team for 4hills has me screaming#So let me have my little fantasies pls#Also Stephan’s (ex)wife seems to be living in Freiburg according to her insta bio#And Stephan’s definitely not living there#So in my view they are most likely broken up#andreas wellinger#stephan leyhe
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The fact that TBoB confirmed that Mable is more mentally mature than dipper and is AWARE of that and is always trying to protect dipper is just heart breaking
#rewatching the show knowing this now just makes eveything so much sadder#like litterily the entirety of summerween was mable knowing shes in that weird space between a teen and lid and hanging on to that#she knows deep down that that childhood innocence wont last forever and wants to savor it#which in turn makes her very mature#AND THE FACT THAT ALL SHES TRYING TO DO IS PROTECT DIPPER FROM IT BY TRYING TO BRING HIM BACK TO THAG CHILDLIKE SPACE#mable land makes so much more sence#im gonna cry#gravity falls#mable pines#gravity falls mabel#mystery twins#dipper pines#pines family#bill cipher#book of bill#the book of bill#alex hirsch your killing me
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i want to take part in all the asks games people are doing but i feel like i don’t know enough about anyone’s characters to ask the right things, and im scared of getting something wrong or asking something stupid, and also i really want asks, but i dont feel like i have enough out about my characters for anyone to really be interested or have questions, and also i dont expect to get asks if i dont send any first, which brings up back to the beginning here. ugh. ugh. UGH.
#and no one’s sharing on share day which is actually making me a lot sadder than it should#i just wanna feel included or something idk
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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#going through the anniversary asks cause we are finally maybe doing these and… so many people that I thought sent in an ask did not??#Ajsjdj noooo so many mutuals dearest did not send in one :(((#eric.txt#for the record I fully assume they just missed the post. which makes me even sadder cause I wanted to create something for them :(((
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30
ASK GAME
30- what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?
#haha autism go brrrr#also my boyfrend. i love him/gen#I'd include music but#sometimes music just makes me sadder depending on which one#ask game#I'm just like you <3 (HSG Roy!!)#beautiful boy <3 (roy!!)
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Just saw the F1 (Brad Pitt) movie trailer thanks I hate it
#one of the worst thing I have seen in a while#the title is...is nothing. NOTHING. Jesus I am not saying come up with the best title ever but 'F1' is not a movie title.#it's an abbreviation of the name of the sport#hell Rush wasn't a brilliant titoe either but it was something at least#'who said anything about safe' jesus christ I know I myself am a relatively new fan but I have to ask#does Brad Pitt know anything about this sport#is someone going to explain to him that hurting oneself/dying in a car crash doesn't make you cooler#that it IS important that a car is safe when the sport is already so dangerous in itself#I will only pirate this movie for the cameos (Gunther and Max are who I saw for now)#but God it already looks like a shitshow#and the song...I love Queen but it really looks like they wanted to put a generic ass popular rythmic song#it's like they put the same effort in choosing the song that they put in choosing the title#the bare minimum#I swear I didn't watch the trailer wanting to hate it. I swear. The disappointment is just that much.#f1#formula 1#f1 movie#brad pitt#Edit: WRONG there are more drivers in the movie which simultaneously makes me happier and sadder
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unironically one of the most fucked up endings to any manga ever i literally cried for like 30 minutes when I first reached the last few chapters of this
#me.txt#kazeki#kaze to ki no uta#1970s manga#vintage shoujo#the story has so many problems and i had to skip certain parts but also its just so tragic and i feel so bad for the characters#i dont really assume any ill intent in the content btw its just that some of it isnt executed as well as it could be to say the least#i think tho the way things are so flowery and beautiful when its just horrific (gilberts backstory) add to how its distorted his worldview#which to me makes it even sadder cause im reading it like no no no no 😭😭#but weirdly i think that goes over some ppls heads . idk. this scene in particular illustrates it well though#the way he looks back on his life with such rosetinted glasses because its all he ever knew... :( it just makes me so sad#i just wish he got a happy ending because he did not deserve all that#top 10 anime characters who have suffered more than jesus
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i have this silly little undeveloped au in my brain that's just like. tedependent but it's the sarah jane adventures. sort of. not literally in the doctor who universe necessarily but like. local intrepid reporter trent crimm investigating weird shit except the local neighborhood kids will not leave him alone.
i have so many thoughts about this but none of them are coherent enough for a proper fic i think:
i just think trent being good with kids, generally. go mentor figure trent! (what this has nothing to do with my thesis what do you mean)
trent, like sarah jane pre-series, having a sort of reputation in the neighborhood (or in general, since i'm also incorporating his actual canon vibes/story) as to being standoffish, aloof, cold, etc., and generally anti-social, keeping to himself. and as the kids keep dragging him into things kicking and screaming he might also be dragged kicking and screaming into a community <3
if his daughter is essentially luke does that mean he adopted her under Strange Alien-Related Circumstances? absolutely it does, yes.
see i've got two great ideas for ted/tedependent. on one hand, although in the context of SJA/nuwho i'm not so much one for sarah jane and the doctor as a Thing, ted playing the role of like. someone from trent's Mysterious Past who he won't talk about who set him on this path? someone who was kind and wonderful and changed his life but then--at least it feels like to him--abandoned him? someone who made him a better person--from doing whatever journalism he used to do to this--someone who he's still kinda in love with... but trent can no longer even really talk to......until he shows up again? that's some good shit, not gonna lie. although i'm jimmying that into a happy ending somehow, goddamn it.
ALTERNATIVELY. henry being one of the Neighborhood Kids (as if we're using "canon" kids, we've got limited options) and ted being an oblivious parent. trent is trying to get these kids to STOP POKING INTO DANGEROUS ALIEN NONSENSE PLEASE THIS IS HIS JOB PLEASE STOP BREAKING INTO HIS HOUSE but they're stubborn and smart and they may or may not have saved his life once or twice and oh GOD THIS IS SO IRRESPONSIBLE but he can't just TELL THESE RANDOM NEIGHBORS about ALIENS. but like anyway this just painful secret identity-esque nonsense where ted knows henry's taken a shine to that nice journalist down the street and his daughter but does NOT know that henry is getting into Shenanigans(TM). this could lead into all sorts of drama about, you know, his kid being in danger... or, alternatively, ted has worked with some unit/torchwood-esque place before and is like OHH you know what? this explains that time i thought i heard you speaking an alien language. cool, cool. and trents like. .....WHAT
etc. i'm not wording this well but i think you get the idea.
if you really really wanted to make it complicated you could do both, considering the doctor's whole thing--either a fob watch or a regeneration--but honestly, i don't want to do that, so i won't
some of the adults do definitely get involved though. keeley either clocks that shit right away or thinks she's clocked it but she's actually clocked something entirely different. she's like i know you're mi6 babe ;) and he. is not. meanwhile roy having ten freakouts in a row and then being like nvm i'm fine with this. (is not fine with this, but will be eventually). jamies like yeah aliens. everyone knows about those. and they're like what?? no they dont?? and so on.
is beard an alien? genuinely no one's sure. he's not telling.
HOLD ON can i give trent k-9???? can trent crimm get a robot dog?????? yes please i think he deserves a robot dog
also see the trickster episodes? bet you could do something real fucked up with those.
i feel like i had more when i started this post but i don't remember
this not well thought out at all and i have no idea where everyone would fit in
anyway my point is. trent crimm, intrepid journalist, running around trying to stop alien shenanigans while Those Meddling Kids keep following him around. trent crimm doin a little Breaking And Entering. scooby doo shit. and he has such an interesting mix of seeming suave and badass and then immediately doing something embarrassing. trent crimm--via shenanigans and also Those Meddling Kids dragging him into their lives (aka he tries to keep his distance SO badly and only is involved when dangerous shit is going down but like then it's all. child knocking on his door like IT'S AN EMERGENCY OPEN UP and hes like WHAT WHAT IS IT and theyre like can you help me with my homework :( and hes like. fuck. yeah fine what do you want help with. (some subjects he's very helpful on others he's VERY not) until they're like okay but you're coming to this bbq right. and he's like? no? and they're like you're coming to this bbq right. and so on) ANYWAY the point is they keep dragging him into their lives and now oops! trent actually knows his neighbors and has to go through the mortifying ordeal of being known. but that also means that when he gets badly hurt or sick he's used to the empty hospital room but now he actually gets people showing up and forcing baked goods on him and shit and i'm just feeling a lot of things about this extremely hypothetical au based on my already existing feelings about trent gaining a community in s3/post-canon,
wait does this mean trent gets sonic lipstick? HELL YEAH IT DOES
#well actually i have a LOT of silly little underdeveloped aus in my brain but#anyway. crack edition: the football players are still football players.#trent crimm wondering why he's trying to stop an alien spaceship from blowing up the block#with the help of a team of famous football players. roy kent just punched a raxicoricofallapatorian.#trent on the couch with a black eye bc they had a run in with a sontaron or some shit: [holding up peas to his face] okay.#so jamie tartt is here for some reason. and also the neighbor i have a crush on. and also his son. and also colin. this is fine#that's all a joke obviously but the imagery has me cackling#anyway this also made me think of trent as river song which doesnt work at first glance but then when i think about some PARTICULAR things#makes me cry. like. just. meeting him in reverse.#it's s3 trent--dorky and open and softer but sadder--that he meets first#and by the time he reaches the end he sees how far he's come out of his shell and how unhappy he was#but then they have their moment...#sorry that's also barely coherent and definitely wouldn't make a cohesive au without a lot more work im just spinning thoughts in my brain#trent crimm#tedependent#tedtrent#ted x trent#sja au#tvtcau#the first one before i even had that lol
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happy one year to her and one of my better opening lines for a fic <3
now, because i'm curious:
#to hell and back again#i genuinely can't believe it's a year but i guess that's how time works huh :')#anyway umm gonna leave some retrospective thoughts in the tags:#1. i hold this fic near to my heart but also have a very complicated relationship with it now-#mostly bc i feel like my writing has improved so much and it's hard for me to reread parts of this lol#2. i honestly feel like it's a product of its time? like i think if i was publishing it now people wouldn't like it nearly as much#(especially with the opening line wHICH HAS A POINT AND COMES FULL CIRCLE AT THE END OK JUST TRUST ME)#3. on a sadder note this also means it's been a year since we had to put my family's eldest dog down#i remember i was gonna post this first chapter later when i had finished another fic up#but then our dog just like. straight up started dying on my mom's bedroom floor#and my mom was too distressed/upset to take her to the vet so i had to put her in my car and take her on my own#and then had to go to work right after that#so yeah i was upset and was like 'well dammit im gonna post this then bc it's silly and makes me laugh and i am sad'#so yeah!! some thoughts and behind the scenes info for anyone who's bothered to read this many tags#idk these things just feel like Tags thoughts not Post thoughts#anyway thanks for all the love this one has gotten!! i'm glad people are still enjoying it though *will voice* it's been a year mike#byler
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shaderin posting!!! (after me and @ike-mcswains-mortician spent like an hour or more sobbing over them) these will not be coherent in ANY way btw ALSO me and lea came up with a name for shade witch which is Skaoi which means shadow in norse :] so I switch between the two! ALSOOO this is kind of some of the aasimars and aunties au that me and lea are cooking sooo yeah not all makes sense hehe
Do you think Shade Witch sees Erin’s face in the wood of Oakvale. No since they’re all the same, all the same bark patterns and lines which Erin always complained about. Skaoi could trace the trees wood in her sleep after she spent days tracing it, trying to engrave it in her memory. After days of her not hearing from Erin at the end of the world, the world was red and it cast blood red light on the trees and Skaoi’s hands and face. The same blood red of the flesh tomb she found Erin in, the same red of Erin’s blood that dripped onto the ground.
The sun finally lights up the sky, no longer dousing Skaoi in blood red, washing away her hands and face of the blood red, basking her in bright light. Her business was booming again and everything was well, the trees were still the same as ever but she could now see new trees in the horizon. All she could say when she met Erin was ‘Woah’ and now that’s all she could say looking up at the sky, blue instead of red and clouds speckling the sky like snow.
Erin sits in heaven, her witch hat dipped over her eyes, protecting her from the sun and so nobody could see her tears. ‘Woah’ she heard Shade Witch say, and she smiled.
Update: i think @apricior came up with this ship! so sorry for tagging you on this weird ramble btwww
#I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS CRACK SHIP#WHOEVER MADE IT CAN YOU PLEASE SHAKE MY HAND YOU ARE A GENIUS!!#also for your information i was listening to my shaderin playlist which is sadder than neccesary while writing this#oughsgdhdhdhdhd#dndads#dndads s2#shaderin#shade witch and erin#shade witch#erin o’neil#thoughts in the void#ALSO LEA I’M SO SORRY FOR THIS IF YOU SEE IT WAKING UP#yes i will tag this#aasimars and aunties#THIS ISN’T EVEN DNDADS ANYMORE WHATT#ITS JUST OCS PR SPMERHING#the love of an au my friend#this will only make more sense if you saw me and lea screaming about shaderin
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i need to vent about something that happened and i’ll do it in the tags of this post and i dont really know how to trigger it but it may be triggering so yeah maybe dont read it idc i just need to talk to the void
#how many fucking times do i have to say no for you to fukcing understabd it#we’ve talked avout this so many times you’ve been told by more than one prrson how that makes me uncomfortable#and you still try something in my party and in front of mu whole fucking family?#and you clearly dont care about me at all you just want to kiss me or even more than that and thats the whole fucking reason you even talk t#to me#bc if you cared in the slightest you wouldnt keep trying and trying and trying#knowing damn well how uncomfortable it makes me#to the point that i had a panic attack at my own fucking party bc you wouldnt leave#literally had to call the building security guard to make you leave#and you still call yourself my friend?#fuck you#im so glad i dont have to see you anymore#and what makes this even sadder is that you were a great friend or whatever#talking to you has always been lovely#but just bc im a lesbian and im single does not mean i fucking want you#ive made it more than clear that i dont#youve been at it for a whole year. half of which you were in a relationship mind you#so fuck you#leave me the fuck alone
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I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)
aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao
(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)
#myrna is actually really proud of him for pushing through and becoming a very fine member of the mourn watch#(and a good man)#but she is also. well. myrna. so she has never expressed as much to him. (she thought it went without saying. it did not!)#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#neve gallus#considering how satisfying the Arc with davrin has been I hope this can liven up neve and rye's interactions for me!#also very interesting and fitting b/c davrin will come for you where you live and go 'and hey btw ANOTHER THING --' no bullshit#which rye finds SO annoying but is probably why their relationship has grown so deep so quickly b/c davrin won't let him avoid him#while neve is ironically a lot more like him and it means they have a much harder time reaching each other b/c they're both so watchful#and guarded. they vibed so hard in the beginning it was all neve approves all the times b/c they have similar instincts. and now look at us#we live in the same house and politely pretend the other one doesn't exist. we're making ghosts out of each other!!!#explaining why he's semi-avoiding her. he thinks he's being thoughtful in giving her her space but uh. well.#perhaps more flight behaviour in that than he's willing to gaze at directly haha#rye looks at lucanis claiming he's a mess and goes 'oh buddy you should've seen me the first day in a year I was fully sober#and working on that fucking orb with head pounding and eyeliner running. even like this you're one of the tidiest#and most disciplined people I've ever met. you're literally fine.'#the reason the romance is so slow is not even mostly on lucanis I think rye is the slower to truly open up one in that dynamic lol#hey. I love rook. I love him so much. my trying his best underachieving babyboy who killed god when he got it together#I suspect this is going to be a situation where I've planned multiple other playthroughs#that will inevitably be hampered by '...but where is rye tho. I wish rye was here. does anyone else miss rye' lmao#for reference I've finished DA:O at least 4 times. and all four of them was sophia amell doing exactly the same things. I have a Pattern lo#a pattern I have only really broken in da:i where I have three inquisitors I care about sort of equally (adaar is my fave#but I have fondness for them all)#hawke I basically play as always the same person just AUs of him haha. what if he was a mage instead and it was somehow even sadder#that sort of thing
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Life, aiming a loaded crossbow at me: I'm sorry. You were involved in the decisions that led to this, but you can't know whether they're worth it until everything is done. This is the first step. Endure it as best you can.
Me, shot with the crossbow bolt: [looks down and sees a label tied to the bolt that reads "metaphor for stressful situation"] Ow. Thanks for the warning, I guess? At least it's the only thing I'm getting shot with for a good while.
Life, reloading several bolts into the crossbow at once: Have you ever heard of speed shooting?
Me: I want it to be known that I resent this.
Life: Noted. [shoots me multiple times in quick succession]
Me, on the floor and stuck full of crossbow bolts all over my body: Recovering from this is gonna suck.
#sonder speaks#personal post#I'm trying to joke about my stress#but I did in fact get so stressed that it triggered a seizure#and then my immune system was so compromised from the stress and seizure that I'm now sick#and those are just the incidental health side effects of the stress itself#the situations have been numerous and covered a wide range of severity#the first crossbow bolt was my family deciding to move states and realizing the timeline will be very very short#the next was one of my budgies dying#then my dad having a week+ long dramatic panic attack meltdown about the move#he's past the worst of the meltdown itself but the deep deep fear is still an issue and a stressor#then it was my mom and sister panicking over making things work#then it was my seizure and being in the ER right up until it was time to catch a flight#then stress over helping to find the rught house while knowing none of them will satisfy the fear of my dad#but most of them will fit the criteria for which we originally chose to move#and then the dog we inherited from my grandma -- who's never bonded with anyone but me and never that deeply with me#who was in the shelter for a day and then retrieved and who I defended when other family members wanted her returned --#she growled at my 6 month old niece and nobody is bonded enough with her to train her to be gentle with a baby or toddler#she's a risk to my niece so she had to go back to the shelter and I'm a lot sadder and more stressed about it than I expected#I even cried and I don't cry over anything not even the deaths of grandparents or pets#and it's looking like I might have diabetes too but I can't get my labs done to find out for sure until I'm not sick#and the crossbow just keeps being fired at me#I know others are more stresed over more and bigger things#but I am so sick of these crossbow bolts#I want to be done with these#I want my stress levels down
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