#WHERE TO WATCH THIS FR?!? š
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I love Bai Long Ma he truly donāt gaf
#man stayed present enough to get recruited into the story then peaced tf out for the rest of it āļø#unbothered king#bai longma#ao lie#journey to the west fanart#journey to the west#jttw ao lie#my only knowledge of drawing horses come exclusively from mlp fanart that has crossed my path#shoulda given ao lie a cutie mark lmao#my favorite part of watching the 80s tv series is seeing them go what will we do now??! whenever they encounter a land obstacle#and look the solution to half their problems standing right next to them in the form of a horse that everyone keeps forgetting is a DRAGON#he truly could not be ASSED to help š#just like me fr#digital art#my art#jttw sun wukong#sun wukong#dude bajie and wujing had no fucking clue the horse was even a dragon there was one episode where the horse finally spoke to chew bajie out#and he went YOU CAN TALK?!! ššš#itās such a pity too cuz I thought the human actor for ao lie was very handsome and he showed up like a total of three times or2#this design was actually very inspired by him#he wasnāt even in the ending scene they left his ass OUTSIDE!!!!#HE GOT A REWARD BUT HE WASNT EVEN IN THE HALL TO RECEIVE IT šššš#oh naaah they did my boy so dirtyā¦#I donāt think he counts as a pilgrim I think they literally just wanted him to be the horse#otherwise he woulda technically been er shixiong?#right after wukong
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Every time I think about Kawoshin my heart aches and I have to log off and reconnect with nature and empty my mind in order to stop myself from breaking into tears. Like Iām being so serious when I say I donāt think Iāve ever been so emotionally impacted by a fictional ship in my life š
#neon genesis evangelion#nge#neon genesis evangelion spoilers#nge spoilers#spoilers upcoming in the tags be careful Iām warninggg youuuu warning warning warning#so Iāve completely finished the anime and am watching the rebuilds now#and Iām at the part where Kaworu is abt to die and i fr had to shut off the show like idk if Iāll even be able to finish it š#like Iām genuinely distraught#yk what I donāt think Iāve been this impacted by a characters death in a WHILE#like usually I get sad but I power through#but this has me in such a state of devastation that I genuinely donāt know if Iāll even be able to finish it š#when the story is so good it has you in a state of genuine emotional distress and panic#I should reblog this when I actually get through the rebuilds bc I bet you Iāll put it off for months#they are happy and alive in my heart š#lorddd the piano scene gutted me. and them watching the stars#CRYING WEEPINHā¦ā¦GOOD LORDDDD THEY MAKE ME MISERABLE šš#kawoshin#kaworu nagisa#shinji ikari
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So.... I was rewatching the White Hole episode.... for the plot, of course!! š³š„°
Also fun fact - the episode released on the day of my birthday!! (March 7th ^^)
#habshsjxjdkdkd HELPPP my mum came into the room when I was watching that ep#it was the scene where Holly turns into a super computer and becomes a genius again :D#and my mum just said āshe is very pretty isn't she?ā and just looked at me knowingly šš³ļøāšāļø#and I just began uncontrollably smiling and I said āyeah.... she isā ^-^#but fr ahjdwkdkdk my mum has clocked it already#like SHE KNOWS!!! šš#oh well hahajdkskd XD#red dwarf#holly red dwarf#red dwarf holly#hattie hayridge#bellacatt rambles#:)
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headcannon michael was a tinkerer in general, but more so understress (hence Helpy, PanManStan, #1 Crate, Mr.Hugs, ect) so whenever Glamfreddy's circuts are a bit overworked he'll go to his greenroom and just start building stuff lol
#fnaf#michael afton#five nights at freddyās#glammike#glamrock freddy#Hes just like his dad fr#hes self aware of that fact so much so where he'll just sigh as hes welding circut boards together lol#imagine the pizza sim era for michael oml ššš mans was at his LOWEST#just this rotting corpse of a wet cat rocking back and fourth in his ventilation hidey hole screwdriving Helpy#All while spiraling a bit further because āoopsies! I created something in the likeness of my father's creation!ā#its okay helpy brings him positive vibes in the future (trust scott told me so)#It would be funny if helpy just watched Michael glue together a bucket on a stick and go:#āyerp. thats him. thats the genius who invented meā and he'll watch in awe at Michael's craft#you know what screw it maybe Lizzy and CC ask michael requests#anyways I find the image of Helpy giving a tour of Michael's pizzaria and the man himself in a corner just muttering to himself things#and helpy just points and goes "Dont mind him#he's in his natural enviornment. My scanners say hes thriving
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GP prize is magical girl themed which means the next set is going to be magical girl themed and I wanna know SO BAD who is gonna be in the banner
#please Ruri please Ruri please Ruri but also please let me get her I donāt have that much sushi#link like love live#straight for my heart with this fr#hasunosora#murano sayaka#that heart compact is SO Sailor Moon ahhhh#but the other outfit and aesthetics seem more Cardcaptor Sakura or PreCure#Sailor Moon usually goes for a more sharp/edged look to wings and feathers#those are pure doodley CLAMP type round wings#watch this be the rare standalone card without other similarly themed characters#they rarely do that for Grand Prix prizes though because they want to give you part of the set to tempt you to spend for the rest#those devils#even if I had money I would not spend on this game but I do miss the cards I canāt get#still donāt have a Ruri card where she wears her glasses š#glasses Ruri my beloved#but Iād love for it to be the second years as magical girls - a Kaho and Ruri banner would be lovely#anyway magical girls x love live yay
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the path: a nico daws documentary
#GO WATCH#his interview in this esp the early half of it reminds me of his interview on some random podcast like right b4 his first devils call up#where he spoke abt just wanting hockey to be fun#hes so well spoken and insightful interviewers dream fr#nico daws#new jersey devils#utica comets#nj devils#.gif#(also guys im aware rhe lighting changes annoyingly in the first gif its from my screen record leave me alone šš)
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STEVEN UNIVERSE WATCH:
Hi hiii, everyone! I am planning on making a series of posts for my first time watching Steven Universe! Iāve been watching with @mgjong and itās been so much fun omg! I canāt thank her enough for watching with me ā¤ļø
For these, Iām going to talk about my breakdown analysis for each season (Iāll be doing Season 1A and Season 1B as separate), and I will also give commentary on every episode (yes I am insane) and highlight certain ones that are my faves! I will give my overall thoughts about the season as a whole, as well as the main characters and what Iāve learned of them so far.
Episodes marked with a āļø are some of my personal faves from this season! Here is my overall breakdown of Season 1A down below:
*I also wanted to preface this saying that my knowledge of the show is very limited. Most of the things Iāve heard about it have come from when it was still airing, and my childhood friend who was obsessed with it at the time would also ramble about the show to me. I already know some major plot points (such as Garnet being a fusion and the Ruby and Sapphire stuff) and other minor details, but yeah most of this overall is still pretty blind to me!
So first off! I wanted to talk about some general points about the show:
- I absolutely love the art backgrounds in each episode. Some of them are just so pretty to look at. I know the animation can be iffy at times, but overall it is very consistent across episodes.
- Character designs are also pretty unique, and each one stands out to me among the cast! The fact that you can easily pick out even the minor characters is a huge win for character design imo
- The title cards also reflecting the time of day/weather for the episode is a neat detail! I did not realize that, Mg had to point it out to me kdfjdfnk and the fact that they imply little things from just that one shot (like it being the temple hand above the house where they do their laundry) is a great attention to detail!
- I think the setting is also really nice! Having it take place in a coastal town near the beach feels refreshing to me.
- Soundtrack amazing that is all š«”
General Character Thoughts:
Steven:
At first, I really didnāt think much of Stevenās character I would have to admit š I thought he was a sweet kid ofc, but I wasnāt sure where the show was gonna take his character and his development. That is, until I started to see more of the bigger picture and realize what direction they were going to take him. And now I have high hopes on how Steven is going to develop throughout the series just from all the expectations placed on him from his loved ones and the other gems. Your mother was amazing, she was everything. She gave up her form so you can be born. How do you deal with that? How do you cope with being the only one to not know her at all, your own mother? Can you fill the void she left behind? Will you falter when you canāt?
Also, having a mother-son version of this trope is one I havenāt seen much? Barely at all tbh, so itās refreshing! I think itās very sweet to portray a male character as very emotional and compassionate, and have him take after his mother.
Amethyst:
Amethyst is great I love her LMAO sheās so silly!!! On the surface, she seems to be the outward comic relief in the cast. But when you look more closely at her character and her reactions towards certain things, then it becomes clear that there is something deeper, the feeling of self-hate and resentment towards herself compared to Pearl and Garnet. I like how this is first hinted at in Tiger Millionaire, an episode about Amethystās hobby with wrestling. I think it shows that even in her own space, that self-hate will still find a way to manifest (it didnāt help that Pearl and Garnet showed up but yeah š)
Pearl:
Oh, Pearl. Where do I even start? Thereāsā¦a lot. Iām going to be honest, my perception of Pearl from what I remember is just āvery gay ladyā back when the show was airing LMAO which isnāt wrong necessarily. She is that, but sheās also a lot more than that. Pearl is tragic. She is a character who continues to grieve because of her closeness and her love towards Rose. She can be a bit overbearing and critical at times with Steven, but itās because she cares about him and wants him to grow. Ofc she loves him, thatās her son. But Pearl isnāt perfect. Sheāll have outbursts, sheāll panic, sheāll slip back into the loss that continues to consume her and project it onto others. And itās not healthy at all š I am curious to see how her character will be in the later seasons, but for now sheās one of my faves! Absolutely love tragic gays who cannot move on š«”
Also I just love how at first glance, she seems like the character to have the brain cell in the group, but then you realize episode after episode that nah, sheās just as insane as everyone else LMAO itās so good (I believe in OCD Pearl too btw SO REAL)
Garnet:
AAAA I LOVE GARNET!!! I love how calm she is but also deadpan LMAO??? Sheās so silly sometimes, itās cute! I like how sheās the one to ground the whole team together, not wanting to underestimate Steven, but ofc, still being protective of him. Thereās more we learn about her in Season 1B (which Iāve already seen by this point), so thatās why I donāt have a lot to comment on here. But sheās still pretty cool, especially with all the various hints towards her actually being a fusion!
Greg:
Greg is an interesting guy! I didnāt have many thoughts on him at first, but some episodes later in the season had made me rethink my initial thoughts on him. Heās clearly trying his best as a father, wanting to still connect and bond with Steven. And heās also another character we see deal with the grief of losing Rose. I love how he has many parallels with Pearl because of this, with the way they deal with loss and also their personal relationship with Steven. Iām looking forward to seeing more of him and also more interactions between him and Pearl I think they would be funny DJDKFKF
Connie:
I LOVE CONNIE I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! IDK MUCH ABOUT HER BUT SHES SO CUTE AND I LOVE HER AND STEVEN'S RELATIONSHIP! I do like how sheās written to be a bit of a weeb LMAO itās very accurate for 12 yr old kids obsessed with anime. I canāt wait to see more of her in the main cast!!!
Rose Quartz:
Besides her sharing my name (which I already love lmao), I have heard many things about her character that have piqued my interest! From what I've seen, she's a character who haunts the narrative, always being mentioned in the other's words as a lasting memory, or just her own portrait in the house being displayed in the background during some scenes. I love how the writing continues to portray her like this, and us as the viewer are curious to learn just who she really was as a person. We know that she was important, that she led a rebellion against her own kind to protect the Earth, and that she meant a great deal to the Crystal Gems and Greg. But just who was Rose really? Behind everyone's fondness and memories of her? Is she really just the all-loving heroic sacrifice we're presented with?
It's funny, because we are a lot like Steven in a way. We are in the same shoes as him, where we learn alongside him in finding out more about is mother and what the kind of person she is behind everyone's rose-tinted glasses. It's a really neat touch that helps connect the viewer to Steven as both a protagonist and a character
Episode Breakdowns (very brief):
Gem Glow:
ā¢ I think this is a decent introduction episode that lays out the characters and initial dynamics in the show! The Crystal Gems fight but they donāt want Steven to get hurt, but Steven ends up helping in his own way and starts using his powers as a result. I donāt have much else to say about it, but I think itās neat!
āļø Laser Light Cannon:
ā¢ I like this one because you can start to see Rose haunt the narrative, and also the implications that are shown in the episode: the main one being that the cannons activate due to Gregās phrase! I just love how much this implies how close her and Greg were that she made it so that the cannons activate because of something so silly, yet obviously meant something to her back then
āļø Cheeseburger Backpack:
ā¢ I stared this episode mainly because I absolutely love how it comes back in the best way possible in Season 1B. It is such good foreshadowing, and while the episode itself isnāt too noteworthy to me, I think viewing it as a mirror of the other episode that calls back to it makes it so much more interesting
Together Breakfast:
ā¢ I donāt think thereās much to note in this episode, other than itās a characterization moment for Steven. It shows how much he sees the gems as his family, and how he wants them all to be together. Itās sweet!
Frybo:
ā¢ ā¦I have nothing to say other thanā¦yeah, nightmare fuel š
Cat Fingers:
ā¢ Okay lowkey this episode disturbed me a bit while I was watching KJDFDFKL š I did not find the cat fingers cute, but I do like how this showed Stevenās ability to shapeshift! Weāre starting to see Steven be able to wield some of the abilities the Crystal Gems have too!
āļø Bubble Buddies:
ā¢ Connieās first appearance!!! I love it so much, the fact that they had met each other before and Steven was waiting to see her again and return her bracelet, how Connie also paid attention to him too! I love that little backstory they have together before they officially meet
Serious Steven:
ā¢ Another characterization one for Steven! Him wanting to help the gems no matter what, and I like how this episode kinda parallels the first episode a bit? Instead of being childish here like in the first episode, we see Steven be more serious, but he still helps them in his own way. Also this had an interesting frame showing a mural with presumably Rose Quartz fighting? Very curious indeedā¦
āļø Tiger Millionaire:
ā¢ This is where we see Amethystās self-esteem issues at the forefront. Seeing Amethystās and Stevenās relationship be expanded upon was nice too. We see one of Stevenās core traits with wanting to make everyone happy. He wants to continue accompanying Amethyst in her wrestling hobby and even uses a made up back story for Amethystās wrestler persona to help people understand her better. In relation, we see that Amethyst takes pride and confidence in wrestling because sheās good at it. It gives her something meaningful to her existence. So overall, I think this episode does a good job with characterizing the both of them
Steven's Lion:
ā¢ Lionās first appearance! I love how heās justā¦not explained LMAO heās a pink lion and heās chilling, and itās obvious with his connection to Rose because of his pink color scheme
Arcade Mania:
ā¢ I like how this episode focuses on Garnetās competitive side, as well as showing her 3rd eye under her visor. Itās silly, especially with the rhythm game (why did they name it thatā¦), but itās cool that it showed how Garnet is an important member on the team and seeing Pearl and Amethyst rely on her too. Also her relationship with Steven as well and how determined he was to snap her out of the game was sweet
āļø Giant Woman:
ā¢ OPAL FIRST APPEARANCE ALSO PEARL AND AMETHYST BEING GAY AF WHEN OPAL FIRST TALKED I THINK I DIED AND CAME BACK TO LIFE šŖ¦ but seriously, I like how we see fusion for the first time and they make a cool point that many fusions are their own person, and they take the best aspects of said gems and have them be in balance together. Very cool fr!!!
āļø So Many Birthdays:
ā¢ They went the existential crisis route omg š but besides how dark this episode is, I do like how we see the gems care for Steven a lot. It also emphasizes the point of Stevenās powers being heavily influenced by his emotions!
āļø Lars and the Cool Kids:
ā¢ Itās a Lars episode and it exists, but the main thing I loved about it was towards the end. It had such a great moment with Steven standing up for himself and his mother, but it was also a bit heartbreaking too? Steven never met his mother, but he still believes in and realizes how much she cared for living beings. He will stand up for her no matter what because he doesnāt have anything to doubt her on, only what heās heard from the others. I do wonder if this will be forshadowing later on when Steven learns something lessā¦positive about Rose he canāt stand to believe as the truth
Onion Trade:
ā¢ This one is funny LMAOOO I HOPE THAT ONION CONTINUES TO BURN DOWN BEACH CITY
āļø Steven the Sword Fighter:
ā¢ Another dark one with Pearl literally getting stabbed in front of Steven. Along with the Tiger Millionaire and Arcade Mania, this one is my favorite among the episodes showing the relationship between the gems and Steven! Having him try to deal with the hologram Pearl while the real Pearl isnāt around really showed how much Steven has grown as a person. Heās tying to be more responsible and mature without Pearl around, which I think is a great character moment for him
Lion 2: The Movie:
ā¢ I like how this episode both develops Steven and Connieās relationship (theyāre silly kids who both think that the other doesnāt want to hang out with them but Connie provides normalcy for Steven, while Steven provides excitement for Connie. They both accept each other is the main thing that I love about their relationship), as well as whatever tf is going on with Lion DKDKDK it becomes even more clear now that he was Roseās lion with the training temple they go to (love how this also comes back too). Also COOL SWORD
Beach Party:
ā¢ A silly one! This one is more of my favorites among the episodes that focus on the Beach City residents. It doesnāt get too bogged down with silliness, but it still focuses on character interactions between the gems and the residents! Itās overall very funny <3
āļø Roseās Room:
ā¢ Rose first voice appearance! In the form of a whale LMAO I couldnāt imagine when this episode first aired and people lose their shit when this happened. Itās cool to get a glimpse into how Roseās room works, that it gives anything Steven wants, but whatever it creates is still imperfect
Coach Steven:
ā¢ Sugilite first appearance! I cannot believe Nicki Minaj voiced her š also I do like how it touched upon Pearlās insecurities. āIām not strong enough to do anythingā THATS SUS PEARL WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN THROUGH WHY IS THAT SOMETHING YOU BLAME YOURSELF FOR??? I NEED TO KNOW MORE
Joking Victim:
ā¢ Lars and Sadie are cool ig??? I mean Sadie is cool, Lars isā¦there LMAO but itās interesting to see more of their dynamic. I assume theyāre a popular ship in the fandom, and I think Lars in his own way can be sweet at times. But in general, I just think that Sadie deserves so much better š
Steven and the Stevens:
ā¢ Very convoluted episode fr š it doesnāt make much sense to be canon either? I feel like if the gems had access to a time travel artifact thing, they wouldāve already used it a long time ago. Iāve also been told this doesnāt come up again, unless itās with Steven recounting his trauma during this episode, so idk it really doesnāt make much sense, besides it being another silly episode
Itās nice though how this episode hints at the season finale by showing the desert created by Lapis in Mirror Gem in the background! Very cool detail there
Monster Buddies:
ā¢ We start to see more of the corrupted gems and learn about them. This one also highlights Stevenās overall kind and compassionate nature that heās willing to extend to corrupted gems, seeing their humanity beyond the corruption. Itās another reflection of how his mother acted before. Also heās able to bubble gems now and becoming more and more like his mother
An Indirect Kiss:
ā¢ An interesting way to show that Steven has his motherās healing powers? š was not expecting it to be through his spit DJDKDLDL the title is clever for that. I also like how it subverts our expectations (as well as the gemsā expectations) that Steven has the exact powers his mother did
āļø Mirror Gem:
ā¢ Lapis first appearance! I love they just casually show that Steven hasn't attended school š it's kinda sad in a way? Like ofc we see Pearl try her best with teaching him, but it still highlights the differences between Steven and the other kids. He still doesn't have the most normal life when it comes to being 12 and not sharing experiences other kids his age have gone through.
āļø Ocean Gem:
ā¢ The season finale! I loved it a lot. Mainly because of how they start to set up some doubts regarding the Crystal Gems and their motivations. Lapis obviously doesn't like them and tells Steven to not trust them. She says they "never cared about the other gems, only Earth", so it leaves the viewer wondering if what Lapis is saying is true or not. But it also reinforces the point that they gems have been fighting for Earth, in the name of Rose Quartz and her mission. In contrast, Lapis only wants to go back "home", not seeing the beauty in Earth like they do. She's a good foil to the crystal gems (I would also say she parallels Pearl in a way because they both want to go back home, but Lapis follows her own ideals and wants to be set free, while Pearl's takes on Rose's ideals as her own and follows them to the end).
BUT YEAH THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH SO COOL SEASON I LIKE HOW IT'S SETTING UP A BUNCH OF THINGS FOR LATER STUFF AND IT'S SILLY AND HAS ITS SERIOUS MOMENTS TOO!!! I think the show towards the end started to become more grounded on what it was going to do, so I like that! I can't wait to start my review of Season 1B fr š«”
#THIS IS VERY LONG IF ANYONE DECIDES TO READ THIS YOU DONT NEED TO READ ALL OF IT FR š#also I'm not including Lapis in this review since I wanted to leave her for the next one where we see more of her!#steven universe#rose watches su#my posts
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i love steve and rogers relationship sm omg its so cute. like ik they are suppose to have a ābrother-typeā relationship but i legit feel like steve would think of rog as a brother to him. like whenever he was old enough to realize he had an older sister he wished he had a brother to hang out with instead. whenever stan brought home roger from area 51 steve immediately fell in love with roger and knew they would have a great bond with each other which ofc they do.
having roger around meant he could now do and play things with him that hayley might not want to do like like perhaps make forts with him or play truth or dare or camp in the backyard and even to this day in his teens doing things like camping in steves room and their āwheels and the legmanā get up.
most siblings tho they canonically have their moments of bickering, betrayal, and pettiness and have temporary times where they want nothing to do with each other but in the end though they always still love one another š
#every time these two are together or theres an ep/plot cantered around these two i sob#i love them sfm#i watched the hurricane episode last night and the part where roger saw the glowing star stickers on the ceiling-#from their living room camping excursion-#had me crying#like that was so cute wtf#and dont even get me started to the when i was his alien song#that shit had me on the floor rolling in my own tears bcuz of how much rog really loves steve#like they did not have the right to give them this type of relationship /nm /lh#they are killing me with this shit fr fr#šššš#american dad#roger smith#steve smith#ad talk
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okay nobody told me that 911 was like fucking final destination or something because why is every 911 call scenario SO SCARYš you know something is about to go wrong and it's like a horror movie i feel like i'm having heart palpitations
#just watched the one with the bouncy castle and they were showing the guy bouncing and the pegs slowly coming loose from the ground#and it was so terrifying fr!!!!!!#911#and the one where the guy just got fucking thrown out of the rollercoaster??!?! idk if i can keep watching š#izzy watches 911
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pvpciv finale spoilers. and parkciv too
is there ANY universe where evbo isn't betrayed oh my God
#redd posts#hi sorry parkciv and pvpciv spoilers in the tags. just a warning#im fucking BAWLINF#āshow me how i mean nothing to youā OH MY GOD??????#EVBO LITERALLY PUTTING HIS LIFE ON THE LINE JUST SO TABI IS SAFE AND GOING OUT OF HIS WAY EVERYTIME TO LET HER COME WITH HIM?#AND THEN TABI THROWS IT ALL AWAY JUST FOR A CHANCE AT IMMORTALITY? ARE YOU FR?#THE SCENE WHERE EVBOS DIAMOND SWORD WAS ON THE GROUND. MY JAW DROPPED#EVBO CANT TAKE A BREAK FROM BETRAYAL!!!!#FIRST SEAWATT IN PARKCIV 2 NOW THISS?????#I HAVENT WATCH MCSIM YET BUT IF IT FOLLOWS THE SAME THEME.... š#PVP! EVBO WHO KNOWS NOTHING BUT VIOLENCE YET CONTINUES TO SHOW CARE AND TRUST IN THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM#EVEN WHEN HE KNOWS ITS TO HIS DETRIMENT#LIKE WHEN HE TRUSTED PRINCE ZAM. THE IRON SWORDS. TABI#SO FAR THE GUARD HASNT BETRAYED HIM YET?? IF I REMEMBER??? SO IM HOLDING OUT ON HIM#BRO LITERALLY SLEEPS IN EVBOS BED SOO šš#THE SCENE W TABI AND EVBO HAS ME ON THE FLOOR. SOBBING. TEARING ME#UP* I CANT DO THIS MAN OH MY GOD#IM CRYING OVER A MINECRAFT SERIES šš
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if I may offer a word of advise to any person out there who may be as stupid as me - do not walk through a field of stinging nettles barefoot
#Iām not about to post a photo of what the bottom of my feet look like (at least not for free) but#just imagine the absolute last thing you would want the bottoms of your feet to look like. Thatās what mine look like rn#I havenāt been genuinely fr fr drunk in a long ass time (2 weeks) so I guess this is what I get eh#this happened last night btw I was too drunk to notice the state of my feet so I slept like this ššš#so now Iām going to have a hangover soon AND Iāve got a literal BILLION tiny needles in my feet#Maybe next time I decided to get hammered Iāll put locks on my shoes to prevent myself from taking them off#Although bright side Iām glad I was just in a field and not walking around barefoot in a street where#I could step on broken glass or hypodermic needles or something lol so. silver lining#But fr idk what to do about it I feel like Iām still too drunk to start plucking them out rn my hands are too shakey#So I guess Iām just going to wait around like this until Iām sober enough?#& love how I was posting about staying in last night lol. Nice try mf you really thought you were just gonna watch a movie then go to bed š#I drank well over half a bottle of whiskey last night lmfao I donāt wanna know how many shots that comes out to beā¦ over 10 at least š#Maybe I have a problemā¦ā¦. nahhhhhhhjhjjjhhhhhh
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#when im extra depressed i watch old yt compilations#this week is critical role moments#and ugh. Ugh#i always forget how mf touch-starved and affection-starved i am until i watch those 8 interact w each other#like. always touching. so much touching#i havent had a cuddly / touchy friend in like 6+ years and i am Suffering for it#like as much as w any other people im v touch-averse and dont want that at all#when it comes to friends i am extremely pro touch and genuinely love being affectionate#and i Can't#and sometimes that sucks ngl#no shade to my friends who aren't comf w that obviously#that's 100% gr8 and i would never push or wanna make them uncomf lots of ppl dont like that#i just. used to always have at least 1 friend who /was/ okay with it that i could be as cuddly as i wanted with#and now i dont and it ??? is getting to a point where it is almost painful#like str8 up i've had to talk to my therapist abt this the last 6 months bc its becoming a bit dire#hugs r wonderful dont get me wrong but thats the max amount of touch for my ok-with-touch friends#and the rest r no-touch#whereas im sitting here like ššš PLS I JUST WANNA HOLD SOMEONE'S HAND#OR LEAN MY HEAD ON SOMEONE'S SHOULDER OR HAVE AN ARM AROUND A WAIST OR A HEAD IN A LAP#OR STR8 UP SNUGGLIN ON A COUCH#I DESPERATELY NEED IT#ANY OF IT IT DOESNT NEED TO BE ALL OF THAT#I FEEL LIKE I AM SHRIVELLING UP LIKE A SENTIENT RAISIN INSIDE#JUST HAVIN ALL THE LIFE SUCKED OUT OF ME THRU LACK OF TOUCH#I WANT SOMEONE TO RUFFLE MY HAIR OR PAT MY ARM OR KISS MY CHEEK#HELL I'LL TAKE A HAND ON MY BACK PURELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF STOPPING ME FROM WALKING INTO TRAFFIC#WHICH AT THIS POINT I AM TEMPTED TO DO DUE TO EMOTIONAL DISTRESS LMAO (DEVASTATED LAUGHTER)#aiyaiyai and i cant even just go and Make New Friends bc most spaces to do that arent accessible or safe for me#the only friends i've made in the last few years r thru Mutual Autism Vibes~ and they're all anti-touch#WHERE R THE OTHER TOUCH-STARVED CUDDLY AUTISTICS AT ??? WHERE R U ??? COME FIND ME PLS I BEG !!! i feel like im gonna die fr
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i said a while back that i hope with each subsequent i become more and more nervous about where this story is going and it has truly begun that track was a whole 10 minutes shorter than bbās but i was practically like this throughout the majority of it
#this is vee speaking#the hypstage tler said itās obvious why the chuuoku stage ran congruently with this release and i agree#nemu already needs a fcking vacation sheās literally holding up this government by herself (not really but it definitely feels like it LOL)#also#Wā¦ā¦WHOEVER PUT HONOBONO OVER THE POLICE NEEDS TO BE FIRED AND ARRESTED#LIKE HONOBONO TERRORISING THE WORLD ALREADY????? ITS ONLY THE SECOND RELEASE OH NO???????#it was a great track tho midway thru the rio drama i had to open up the manga to remind myself of iojakuās conflicts#and to think rio wound up showing him his answer we got rio food yāall šššššš#there was indeed a samajuto moment lmao like theyāre so funny lmao#juto wound up finding himself in serious danger and samariou watched him get carted into the thick of it#(jutoās force was going to kill him bro!!!!!!! like??? bro!!!!!!!!!)#and samariou showed up to save him but samatoki tried to pass off the good timing as a sixth sense for whenever jutoās in trouble#and samatoki is so corny LOL but can i say how good it is to see him like that lol?????#nah like samatoki is almost a different man when he has hope lol!!!!!!#he was giving that tdd era leather daddy samatoki energy instead of rly depressed samasama#but like???? heās never been like this!!!!! where he believes this world can change!!!!!!! some good samatoki food fr on god no cap ITS#A REALLY GOOD TRACK LOL I JUST HATE HOW IK ITS GOING TO GET WORSE#also also whatās up with these tracks riffing off the arb main story lol????
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she is my sun
she captures all my waking thoughts
entangles me in her heat
iād follow her to my death
and iād rather know nothing else
iād chase her to the very end
and she knows
she knows what she does to me
she knows what iād do for her
she stays just out of my reach every time
taunting me, taunting me
she blinds me with her light
sheās all i can see
iām reaching blindly
grasping at any shred of her i can get
i want her to be mine
i know i canāt have her
but i want to
so i reach, i beg, i cry
all for her, all for her
***
i saw a moth the other day.
it was the middle of the afternoon
and it just fell from the sky.
i donāt know where it came from
only that it plummeted to the ground
and it fell without a sound
as it fell and as it hit.
i thought it had died
i wonder if it wish it had
but it didnāt
even as it lay belly-up in the sunās radiance.
just when i believe it dead
it flutters
it spasms
it panics, i think.
in its blind flurry
it flies a few inches
but still fell on its back.
it tried again
it tried again
and it tried again
but fell all the same.
inch by inch
it scrambled to a bush
all the while
it couldnāt look away from the sky
and it flew
well, āflewā
to where the sun was titled overhead.
i wonder if it knew it should know better.
i wonder if all it knew
was the light it craved so badly
and if it was driven to delirium
being engulfed in it
and flung off the cliff of ecstasy in its wake.
i wonder if it knew at all
that the sun it chased so religiously
would kill it in the end.
i wonder if thatās what all our desperation looks like
that we all flutter to our demise
and others can only help but watch with pity.
i wondered all in retrospect.
i thought first,
watching it scramble:
āi could write a poem about that.ā
i was the only one to find it so poetic.
***
i reach, i beg, i cry
all for her, all for her
i grasp at every inch of her i can reach
writhing on my back
belly-up beneath her radiance
entangled in her arms
she absolutely smothers me
sends me to delirium
feeling nothing but heat
heat and her
her heat
and mine
she taunts me, taunts me
captures my lips
and steals all my waking thoughts
sheās just within my reach
i reach my hands up
ever reaching
ever desperate to hold her
but she holds stronger
because i am all hers
sheās all i know
i can never forget her in the day
always feeling her in the back of my mind
and i crave her in the night
crawling for light and warmth
she is my sun
ā sundrunk
#in which i watch a moth almost drop dead beside me in broad daylight and decide to write a poem about a hindsight crush#wonder where that moth ended up#i love poems in this structure fr#the patron saint of asexual poets#poetry#poems#poem#lgbtq poetry#lgbtq#writing#original writing#original poetry#poets on tumblr#creative writing#trying to remember all the tags for poems that show up on my dash š#love poems#< juuuust barely? itās about an unhealthy obsession for sure#long post
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:]
#chat#PLS i <3 them sm i want to pull on skips nose and watch it go boing Like...#had to open my game actually to get stuff for renders :cringe: which means i got distracted for like. an hour help š#havent even done my gen correct faces on them yet or anything im too lazy + i really want them to keep their bodyshop makeovers#without messing up their genetics. but its not happening š#sometimes i forget skip is s1 and not s2 like wheres his tan?? his sexy tats???? his freckles and body hair?????????#his homosexual long hair???!!! my world is in shambles fr#having skippy issues fr.....
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