#WHERE R U FINDING THESE
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
spencer reid + his satchel bag
#sorry it took ages#took me foreverrrr to find good scenes where u could see it well lollll#*#spencer reid#cmedit#criminal minds#*r
888 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
saying this as respectfully as possible but. Do not put fandom content creators on a pedestal. We are also just fans contributing to a community just as you are. We have boundary on our own work and thatās it. What I say is not and should not be considered sth the whole fandom should listen to. Iām just a normal ass person ranting about things on my blog. If it does not have a fandom tag for others to engage in, do not make it out to be me trying to start fights or addressing the whole community. Because itās not.
Iāve said it before and I will say it again, my art, my lore talk, is biased. Iāve never tried to hide that I view Marika a certain way and will always develop my theory following that base assumption.
Aside from translation stuffs and pointing out in-game items, everything else I say you can look at it, agree or disagree, and move on to form your own opinions. Just because I draw stuffs doesnāt mean you get to saddle me with responsibilities about managing fandom expectations. What the hell? Iām a fan artist, Iām the last person who you should look at for āleaderismā (?) WHAT?
I can and will be a hater in my own space, like I know sometimes other artists will just post their stuffs and not engage too heavily with fandom, and for a while I did try to do that here (because Iām already a dramatic ass on twitter), thatās just not me though.
You will get art and you will get my opinions as well.
#asking ppl to [celebrate different takes] is... WHAT?#different takes as in well I think she likes apples and you think she likes grapes. yeah thatās some fun discussion to be have#but different takes as in the fundamental of a characterās drive and personality??? NO#letās put that down very clear here#I can still read fics where Marika is cold and calculate and manipulative as long as I can see thereāre layers to it and the author#set it up in a way that I can see they got her backstory and build those layers based on that#and then there are ppl who literally only portray her as omg evil girlboss 101 letās blame everything on this cardboard character#then I click back.#and there r ppl who might not vibe with how i portray her and they can ignore me. THAT'S OK TOO. we r in our own space.#itās as simple as that!#ever since the dlc is out i literally could see the amount of ppl blocking me go up and im just āokā because i do go around muting ppl too.#that's normal fandom space managing experience. pls do that#lore discussion is for ppl to engage in so u say ur piece i say mine and we can continue or not depending on situation#but FANWORK? leave each other alone or be a hater in ur own space ok?#personal#also where are these ppl who have been defending Marika at... because if u exclude me#and some others i can count on one hand. where are these ppl?#ppl saying headass stuffs about the HS aren't even Marika fans or engage too much in fandom to begin with#meanwhile u can't even find one youtube lore essay that says anything good about her#ppl are even trying to give Messmer's mother position to GEQ for no goddamn reason#like where is this overwhelming support for Marika at cuz as the active Marika stan around im not seeing it
294 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
ā even the gods bleed [ pt 4 ]
{ā} characters arlecchino, furina, lyney {ā} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {ā} warnings blood {ā} word count 3.7k {ā} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]
Fontaine was bathed in darkness, not even the moon daring to illuminate where the common man fears to walk. The streets were bleak and empty save for the constant, rhythmic ticking and clanking of machines marching on endlessly, dauntlessly wading where even the bravest dared not to venture. Not even the sharp click of the Gardes boots followed the occasional hisses of steam as they walked the barren streets.
It was haunting, and it'd been like that for days now. It showed little signs of stalling in the slightest, too. Every inch of Fontaine was practically crawling with Gardemeksā like a swarm of rats skittering about.
Arlecchino had secluded herself in the Hotel Bouffes d'ete for days at this point, waitingā biding her time. Her nails clicked against the wood as she tapped at the table in a stilted rhythm, the subtle click of the clock mixing into the clanking outside, weaving in and out of earshot as the patrols slipped by. She reached forward after a moment of thought, reaching for the white king.
She leaned back against the chaise, tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of a patrol of Gardemeks as they vanished behind the rows and rows of buildings. It wasn't enough to keep her attention for long, however, her features twisting in disinterest as she glanced back to the chessboardā and the letter neatly resting beside it. The seal was unmistakable and a sobering sight, demanding her attentionā the soft hues of blue etched into the shape of a dragon stared back at her in a way that almost unsettled her.
She had already parsed through it's contents hundreds of times, but she was met with only vague, flowing script that only served to irritate her more then anythingā it filled the page top to bottom yet managed to say nothing at all. Her hand reached out again, but instead of reaching for the letter she plucked the black rook from the board, setting it down with a soft click.
Arlecchino had all the time in the world to sit back and observe her prey, but all that time would be useless if she lacked the information to act.
And he was quite tight fisted about it, evidentially. None of her inquiries or attempts to decipher any potential codes in the letter left her empty handed. She could not act without even knowing the reason for his summonsā it was almost worded like a personal affair rather then one would expect for a foreign diplomat. In truth, she'd expected a scalding report on her operatives, but it lacked any mention of anything of the sort.
She was no stranger to people masking hostility behind pretty words and compliments, not that it was ever unwarranted per seā the Fatui did not create connections through honesty and genuine kindness. They have strong armed more then their fair share of people into cooperation to the point distrust is all the Fatui are met with outside of Snezhnaya. Every word was meant to conceal the deceit, every action meant to conceal the price later paid.
So she had been..skeptical of the letter, to put it lightly. She doubted the Iudex of all people would offer a hand to the Fatui without a price attachedā a trap, perhaps, meant to lure in the most powerful piece left on the board. Her eyes narrowed, reaching for a white rook and moving it to the right.
Or he was hiding something. Something that he simply couldn't risk getting out to anyone, not even the Divine themself. A tempting prize, whatever it was.
..A dangerous prize, too.
She'd considered burning the letter and forgetting it all togetherā the risk was great, and she couldn't risk getting caught up by whoever else the Iudex may have on his side of the board. But she could hardly pass up the challenge and the prize that he fought so hard to keep from prying eyes and ears. Even her agents came back empty handed each time. She lazily picked up a black rook, sliding the white pawn aside.
"Lyney," Arlecchino drawled, crossing one leg over the other and turning her gaze to the door as it slowly creaked open. The pale visage of Lyney stepped through, though his siblings were noticeably absent. The weariness that weighed down on his shoulders was apparent in the slightest furrow of his brows and the subtle creak of leather as he clenched his fists behind his back. "Father." He choked out, the title dragged out by the sharp inhale and shaky exhale.
He looked out of breath, she noted.
The silence that lingered after the small exchange was punctuated only by the click of another chess piece being moved. She sets aside the black rook, letting it sit among the dozen other pieces that had been wiped off the board. She can see the conviction glinting beneath the fog of exhaustion, but if he would utilize it was another matter all together.
He had seemed to make his choice quickly, at the very least.
"Our contacts and operatives within the Fortress of Meropide have gone silentā all we have is their final confirmed missive.." His voice is confident, but it is rigid as the words spill from his lips. He takes a sharp step forward, unfolding his arms from behind his back and opening his handsā the small, water stained and messily folded note catches her eye, plucking it from his palms with a half hearted interest. "They believe the Duke left the Fortress of Meropide..and that he may be coming to the Court of Fontaine."
Her eyes narrow dangerously, nearly crumpling the thin paper in her handsā yet just as quickly, she collects herself.
But she cannot get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue, lingering as she sets down the note and slides it to the side, her lips pursed into a thin line.
So the Iudex had shown one of his pieces..she tightly grasps a black rook, tipping over the white rook, letting it roll against the board.
If the Duke was involved, things were much more complicated then she expectedā he would be a problem, she was certain. She couldn't blame the lamb for fearing the wolf, either. Whether her agents had been killed or captured by the man mattered little. He had his ways, and he was a force that could instill fear in even them.
Which meant the possibility that her operation was already compromised was far too real.
What had the Iudex so concerned he had gone through the trouble of bringing in the Duke and herself? The Fatui was one thing, but to specifically request one of it's Harbingers..
The Prophecy? The thought had her clenching her fist, but..no. If it were to rear it's head now, the Iudex could simply not afford to waste time on his contacts deciphering his nonsensical scriptā If the prophecy were to be the issue, there time would be limited to mere minutes in the worst of cases. Which meant it was worth biding his time in order to ensure absolute secrecy.
So if not the prophecy, then what?
Her next moves were..limited. She was already walking on eggshells considering her position and the reputations of the Fatuiā especially with a Harbinger in the midst. If they caught wind of her operations, they'd weed out her operatives and be on guards for any snakes that lingered in their garden.
She reached for the chessboard again, picking up one of the white rooks from the board with a scowl. The sharp click as she sets down the white rook and sets aside the black pawn draws a shaky inhale from Lyney as she moves another black pawn, the dull click of the pieces drowning out the distant clinking of machines.
..A draw, perhaps.
The pieces were all falling into placeā the players of this game were slowly being revealed. Whether she could secure her victory..she was unsure.
She wasn't even sure who her opponent was. Only that the Iudex himself was but another piece in their game.
Arlecchino reached for the board again, yet this time she hesitated. Perhaps she could still swipe the win from beneath them, if she played her cards right.
She would simply have to capture the kingā or, if need be, let it end on a draw. Either way, she would not concede. She could not afford to concede. Down to the last piece, she would drag out this match until she was in a position to force their hand into the outcome she desired.
She stood slowly, picking up the king piece and observing it for only the briefest of moments before she set it down on the table, taking measured steps around the table and across the room. She was hunting a much more dangerous quarry todayā it would be no simple runaway traitor this time.
"Do you remember the directive?" She inquired coldly, her hand lingering on the door for that long, tense moment. "..Yes, Father." Lyney faltered, taking a hesitant step back and bowing at the waist. "Then do not stray."
All that was left was the silence and click of the door shutting behind her as she disappeared down the hall, her boots clicking harshly against the floorboards. The rest of the agents knew better then to linger in her path as she stepped down into the lobby, adjusting the cuffs of her sleeves. She barely even acknowledged the Fatui agent standing at the ready by the heavyset doors, their gloves hands held out with her cloak held loosely in their palms. She quickly snagged it from them, tugging it over her board shoulders and clasping it around her throat.
With a quick tug, she brought the hood up over her head to conceal her sharp features, lifting her hand and placing a neatly folded note within their waiting hands. She had only one chance to make the right moves and secure her victoryā no matter the cost.
Each piece had it's purpose.
Oft, that purpose was a bloody and horrible endā but for the grand goal of the Fatui built on the backs of the dead, it was an honor.
She didn't bother speaking a word as she dismissed them with a wave of her hand, pushing open the heavyset doors and stepping out into the barren, damp streets. The rhythmic clink and whir of Gardemeks was still distantā she needed to move. Her boots clicked and splashed in the rain soaked stone of the streets as she slithered between the buildings, ducking through the openings in the patrols.
It was almost too easy.
She tilted her head back, taking in the towering Palais Mermonia with a scowl, her hands clenched into fists. The final moves were being playedā the king was within her reach, yet she felt no more confident then when she began.
The air carried a sense of unease, thick and heavy, filling her lungs until she felt her breath still in her chestā listening to the empty, bleak night that seemed so..quiet.
She'd done her fair share of research, had more then her fair share of her agents try to peer into the Iudex's office or the Archon's supposedly hidden chambers, but every attempt was a failure. She had to give them credit, they were quite elusive when they wished to be. Though now she only thought about it bitterlyā this was all a risky gamble, in the end, and only time would tell if it paid off.
With minimal effort, she'd managed to pull herself to the flat, tiled roof, eyeing the massive tower peaking out of the center cautiously. At least here the wandering patrols down below weren't likely to notice her..she could hear them passing by the spot she'd been in only a few minutes ago, just beneath her. She pulled the hood further over her face, peering through the sheer darkness of the night for any oddities, but it was almost impossible to see in the dark.
Her boots clicked softly against the tiles as she approached the tower jutting out from the Palais, her hand gliding along the smooth stone, pressing against odd indents or crevices. If it was for the Archon's chambers, she doubted they made it very difficultā she'd only met the woman once, but she doubted the Iudex make it all that complex just from a brief glance. And it surprised her little when one of the stones sunk into the wall, gears whirring as the walls split open to reveal a stairwell straight into an inky black hall. Only the barest hint of light peaked under the door at the bottom, but it's occupants must have heard her, considering it went out not a moment later.
She cautiously stepped down into the small crevice, her breath visible in the bitter cold airā her shoulders tensed at the subtle sound of muffled footsteps behind the door, her vision flaring with a molten heat between her shoulder blades as she reached for the worn handle of the door. The heat of her vision was enough to just barely heat the metal, her vision flaring like a quickly building inferno.
Arlecchino was prepared for a fight, if it came down to it.
The door creaked as she pressed against it, shoving it open with a grunt of effort and surveying the room with narrowed eyes and a biting remark on the tip of her tongueā the lavish opulence was expected, she supposed, but the lack of the towering figure of the Iudex was not.
Yet before she could get a word in or even take in her surroundings properly, the light flickered back on and she had to squeeze her eyes shut with a hiss at the sudden brightness. She could hear the door being shoved closed behind her, the hurried footsteps retreating just as quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light.
..This was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be.
She'd expected the Iudex, perhaps even the Duke if she'd been unlucky, not the Hydro Archon. She had half the mind to test her worth as an Archon then and there, her temper flaring like an uncontrollable blaze, barely kept at bay. It took all her self control to force herself to smile politely at the woman rather then snarl.
"Miss Furina," She sneered beneath her hood, x shaped pupils locked onto the startled, trembling Archon with thinly veiled contempt. "What a..pleasant surprise. You'll have to forgive my manners, I assumed I was meeting with the Iudex." She observed her body language carefullyā the way her eyes darted about like a frightened rabbit seeking escape, the slightest tremble of her lips..
Arlecchino opened her mouth to offer another scathing remark, but her jaw audibly clicked shut as her entire body seemed to lock up. Even her vision went cold against her back, a chilling feeling creeping up her spine as someone, or something, crept up behind her. Their footsteps were almost silent, the slight rustling of their clothes the only thing she could hear over her heart pounding against her ribcage.
Arlecchino had always prided herself on being on the other end of that sensationā she was the monster, and her target was the prey frozen like a deer between the hunters crosshair.
It was a chilling feeling to have the dynamic shifted on it's head.
She couldn't even swallow, her jaw clenched so hard she could hear it creak as she tried to reason with her quickly splintering mindā a futile effort, her joints locking up almost painfully. Black spots were quickly swallowing her vision from the lack of air in her lungs, the sound of shuffling behind her barely audible over the ringing in her ears.
For a moment ā a moment too long to have only lasted the seconds that it did, yet so quick it gave her whiplash ā she thought she would hit the floor dead before she could even glimpse her assailant.
And then it was gone. She came crashing back into reality with a startled inhale, her lungs burning and her knees nearly buckling under her. The instinct to lash out and kill whoever had done it was intense, yet she couldn't bring herself to move even a fingerā it would be so easy to twist around and ignite them with searing flames, but her feet were rooted in place.
She almost didn't notice the surprisingly gentle hands unclasping her cloak, tugging it off her shoulders, if not for the sheer intensity of the presence still lingering behind her. Her mind was still fractured, struggling to right itself after the ordeal, and it had her seething.
"..Are you certain you held back enough?" Furina croaked, the normally soft lilt raspy and almost hoarse. "Notā not that I doubt your capability, most Divine!"
Arlecchino felt her nails dig harshly into her palms, heat swelling beneath her skinā Divine? Had she lost her mind? The Divine was..
The Divine was upon their throne where they belonged. She'd seen them!
"Hm. Well, maybe? Sorry, I didn't think it'd affect you too." Their voice was sickeningly soft as they stepped around her like she wasn't even there, focusing their attention on the Archon who seemed more then delighted about it. "What gave you that impression, most Divine? Aha, I..was completely unaffected, as you can see! Perfectly fine."
Furina let out a small squeak when they pinched her cheek, but the almost affectionate smile that tugged at their lips revealed the lack of malice behind the action.
"You're a bad liar, Furina. You might want to sit down..please?" They didn't take her protests for an answer, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before abruptly turning to face Arlecchino once more, a forced smile on their lips. "Oh, good, you're..uh, not dead. That's good. I thought I fried your brain. Sorry?"
..Had she hit her head on the way here? The Divine should still be on their throne, yet she couldn't shake the weight of their stareā it felt tangible. She felt like she was standing face to face with the starsā galaxies and constellations bearing down upon her.
She grit her teeth and clenched her hands until she felt the sting of her nails against her palms, grounding herself in the pain through the sheer overwhelming nature of their existence.
"You.." She croaks, reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, lifting them up until their feet left the floorā she pays no mind to the startled protests of the Archon. Arlecchino would crush her like a bug before she even got the chance to intervene and they both knew it. "You shouldn't existā you aren't them, and yet you..you're the imposter, aren't you?" Her grip tightens yet they face her without an ounce of fear, meeting her unyielding glare with a pondering look.
Arlecchino wanted to make them bleed just to see if she could, the urge to sink her teeth into skin welling up in her chest to the point she visibly snarled, her mask of politeness long . "You're the imposter." Her expression falls for a moment before she schools it into one of apathy, setting them back down and holding them there for a moment, finally releasing them after a tense moment. "Or you were supposed to be."
Hers brows furrowā she wants to demand answers, to throttle them for damning them to being nothing more then dolls for the supposed Divine to break at their whim, but none of the words come to her.
"..Why now? The current Divine has been in power for years, yet you descend now?" Her shoulders tensed, lips pursed into a thin lineā it's impossible to ignore the truth that lay before her. The Divine is a fraud and this..imposter is the true Divine. How many years had they been in power, now? How many years were they waiting? Why did they wait? Was the suffering of Teyvat not enough? Was the blood that painted the steps of their stolen throne not enough?
She'd personally been on the wrong end of the Divine's wrathā she wonders..had they watched? Had they seen the cruel hand of their imposter and turned their back on Teyvat?
"I.." They hesitated. It made her seethe, her hands clenching into fists at her sidesā her vision flickered, flames swelling within it's casing just to be smothered by the presence of the Divine. But once that spark had been lit, she refused to let it go out. "I didn't know."
The answer does not satisfy her. There is an itch beneath her skin that she cannot scratch, a fire that burns in her chest so hot it scorches even herself.
"And what about now? Are you content to cower like prey in the safety of the Palais Mermonia?" She snapped, taking a step forward, her brows furrowed and her glare intenseā she can see the slightest bit of worry in their eyes. She revels in it. "Will you let them use your acolytes like pawns? How many more need to be broken on the steps to your throne before you act?"
Again, her vision flares and dimsā it refuses to be used against the Divine that created it.
"Have you no answer?"
The room is silent. They do not speak and neither does she.
Even the world itself seems to quiet in the face of her accusations, fury boiling to the surface so hot it incinerated all it touched.
"I will kill them myself."
Their words are quiet, but they are not softā there is a vindictive, searing anger that explodes out like dying stars within their eyes. The sight of constellations replaced by a void that would not be . The smell of ichor grows strongerā to the point she feels almost lightheaded.
"..I am aware that I have failed in preventing this, but I had no choice in the matter. Still," They muse, their voice like the tolling of bells. A solemn melody that stills the swelling fury burning in her chest, if only for a moment. "I will rectify itā I will tear down their throne of lies and let not even the earth tarnish itself by burying their corpse among it's soil."
They pause for a moment, holding out their handā scarred and bandaged by the weapons of the devout, yet still they take upon the burden of dirtying their hands to save those who did not save them.
"Do you trust me, Arlecchino?"
Did she?
"Will you help me?"
She exhales heavily, meeting the starry iris' of the Divine with a scowl still tugging at her lips. Arlecchino trusted no one but herself.
"..Yes."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#imposter au#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#arlecchino#lyney#furina#you do NOT wanna know what i got put thru writing this fic#trying 2 find out where arle was in the few times we DO see her and going down a rabbit hole of fuck fontaine and its layout actually!#I spent like 3 hours looking it up and checking in game it gives me a migraine thinking abt it. ew#anyway trying to write a really smart character is surprisingly difficult when ur as dumb as rocks#also used an actual chess match for this and gave myself an even worse migraine trying 2 make sure i didnt repeat moves or smth#furina doesnt get a spotlight yet just imagine her sitting in the corner trembling like a wet kitten you found on the side of the road#arlecchino goes thru a crisis more at 11#shes a tired single dad shes isnt getting paid enough for this okay#hands u a fic over half the length of the other THREE PARTS#ehe :]#is arle actually on ur side??? is she gonna double cross u???? who knows!!!!!#shes unpredictable she might stab u for funsies#anyway im gonna go nap in a ditch now this took SO LONGGGGG OH MY G-D#also just think acolytes who arent buddy buddy w reader and even resent them is so tasty#bc how r they supposed 2 know reader was a human vibing 5 minutes before their got eebied 2 teyvat..#reader gotta roll up their sleeves and get 2 WORK sometimes murder IS okay#they gotta fix some shit around here and that means committing several crimes all at once. sometimes more#a group can be g-d (just got here) their dragon (neuvi) their cat (archon) their dog (wrio) and their wolf (arle)
477 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
This is how I imagine the reveal of sev and nikki being back together is going to go
#infamous IF#seven lawless#i dont even know what else to tag this as LMAO#its like a reverse parent trap but the parents are the bands#FDSFDSFDSFSDFSD#listen to me do you see my vision#i just think a reveal w both the bands present where the bands r talkin to sev/MC but also getting into it a lil w eachother wld be soo FDS#do u see my vison#hey are u listening#LMAOOOO#listen sev and mc are healing but theyre not healed YEt so i cld see a scenario where the bands find out on accident FDSFSDF#and i just think selfishly it wld be funny#yk who i think nikki might tell since i have u here#jazzy bc shes not here yk#ok bye i just had to share this FDSFSDF#oc: nikki#also perhaps rowan#rowan nd him are besties yk#or i could see a situation where he tries nd then doesnt fdsfdsfsdfds it all depends yk#anyway i am v excited for this story to really get goin#if u cant tell
47 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
missed them so bad my heart hurt so i slapped these together at the gym
#i miss them ā¹ļø#these r kinda ass but itās ok i had fun and ive had this idea for a while now so im happy that i got around to making anything at all :]#save me javieran ā¦ save me ā¦ā¦.#i made a pinterest board for them just to kinda help me with vibes and ideas and that helped these be a lot less stressful as a byproduct so#thatās a happy coincidence :]#ohh i miss them i wish i had the time to draw them tonight/tomorrow but i go into work early waaaahggg#maybe sunday ā¦. or tomorrow night ā¦ā¦. or something ā¦ā¦ soon ā¦. hopefully ā¦#my heart hurts without them ā¦.#to me they are a warm sun on your skin and happy dancing leaves above your head and a calm lake lapping at your boot tips#they are so sweet and in love </3#i have to admit that i am 100% the type of person to ignore canon completely and just make them purely domestic#if that wasnāt obvious already#i can write angst well but i donāt enjoy it </3 i love warmth and domestic joy#i am constantly thinking about late stage clemens point javieran where they are head over boots for each other and sneaking off constantly#and just finding so much joy and comfort in each other and the love theyāve finally found that feels just like their own ā¹ļø#my cowboy lovers ā¹ļøā¹ļøā¹ļø#i just like the soft fluffy stuff. i get enough misery and torture from my day to day real life LMFQO#anyway. enjoy. thank u :]#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javier escuella#javieran#image#i have no ide what to tag this in terms of my blog specific tags LOL#hero's talking to himself again#i guess. i guess.#moodboard#edit#aes
21 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
idk what thamepojun got going on (all 3 can kiss about it for all i care) but dylan's sneaky interest in juns business is Not Going Unnoticed my eyes and ears are Very Open. I See You Dylan
#spilled his own secret just to say āpo is not special jun did that to me tooā ik what u are dylan#and nonchalantly finding time to watch the video where jun made the subtitles#okay boo#not sus at all š¤Ø#thamepo: heart that skips a beat#thame#po#jun#dylan#jundylan#is that their ship name lol#on another note... hongnut r also very cute#i think im about to accidentally start shipping a completely different pairing just bc of this drama... not complaining tho :3
19 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
5'7 is super tall omg
Like I know 5ā7 is much taller than the average (in the states I think itās like 5ā2) but Iāll also always be mad at the fact that my younger sister is taller than me (sheās 5ā8 šš) ā¦.. this is my forever pet peeve
#But also I wanted to be 5ā9 for the longest time#But now Iām happy w being 5ā7#Bc itās tall like u said but not like tall to the point where Iām having#A hard time finding stuff that fits me#Omg this reminded me of when I was 16 and saw an orthopedist and he was like ur epiphyseal plates r almost sealed!#And I started crying bc I wanted to be taller šš
26 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
more
#ran out of tags LOLLLL#and then .at least on fords end . be able to witness the moment of collapse . in which all his ārighteousā feelings r sucked out like a#vacuum or some star collapsing on itself bc not only is he like . having to come to terms w his own flaws#and the insidious like . stomach churning guilt associated w that but also the panic and fear (realized#w the portal or bills deception) into looking outwards and having that silent āohā moment where its like yeah#thats why he left . why wouldnt he#GRAAAAA LIKE I WANT DESTRUCTIONNN I WANT THINGS 2 FALL DOWN SO HE CAN FINALLY REBUILDDD#let me innnššššš„let me in to the self reflection those thirty yearsšššš„š„š„š„š„#who did you meet that reminded you of himmšššwho wronged u in similar ways who gave u a reason to be betterrr whoo what did you see#and when you finally came back what did u FEEEL .. and dont lie and say there wasnt that wisp of nostalgia laced arnd ur heart#girlā¦..talk to me focus on me u know me u know these things#stanford pines#gravity falls#sry for taggingn these i need it for my own blog i prmmy i need to reference this . i will#ok im back bc i read fords end snd i want to rip my hair out bc fiddleford has such good ācollapseā imagery too#like we liteally got the soc of the blind eye videos . HIS DOCUMENTSRYYY#oohhhits rly over for us (me) now (and stanford and fiddleford.and stanley bc i feel bad excluding himš)#only talking ab ford bc i need a reason to connect it to stan bc im sick in tbe brain and i need the familial conflict aspect too#but fidds .. ur misery does not go unnoticed by me ā¼ļø#anyways. ik i said idc if they didnt get back together but the beauty of multiplicity is also liking the idea#HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHlike whenb im over the conflict im like dude they went through so much tgether it must be nice to find urself in the#familiarity again. uugughh.AUUUH./
20 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
tagged by @southernreaches thank you fray!!! š«¶
rules: put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for their favorite!
tagging (if you wanna do this, no pressure!!)
@yahgrondu @yharnams @pawnguild @volkihar @nokstella
@gurathins @alexheart @pinkfey @gortash @merdruid
@qingyii @ehlnofaey @tarasahl @katsigian @vilnan
#tag games#ok i know cmx r pretty much unknown outside of finland but i cant watch them go unvoted against tumblr faves lord huron and tamino#gonna vote for them myself š«µ#even if u dont understand the lyrics please check punainen komentaja out it goes so hard i promise!!!#also revealing my kpoppie past with this one š#no but like late 2nd gen kpop is where its at. infinite will always be special to me#also sorry i haven't rly responded to uhhh anything i've mostly been focused on recovering from the hospital stint !#strangely it fixed my sleep schedule and my messy meal schedule and like#idk if this is just a phase lol but i've been motivated to live healthier after i got home#which means less time for idle scrolling here lmao#ofc i dont wanna abandon this blog but. i gotta find the right balance. anyway consider this a semi hiatus while i figure it out#i've also been spending lots of time on the fields of mistria.....#working on my little farm and befriending the villagers is paramount to my recovery. the doctor said so
13 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
...
#not to vague abt a particular niche of a fandom no one cares about BUT im losing my mind a bit#bc there's a ship that literally got me so invested that i read fanfiction for the 1st time. i adore them so much#i think their canon relationship is so fucking lovely and its bullshit what happened to them. if u kno u kno.#but now i go to ao3 and try to find fics and im like... yo y do these all fucking suck?#like i get it. no one has given a fuck abt this fandom since like the 2010s but i mean ive read lots of way better fics for waaaay#tinier fandoms. i guess thoses ppl just cared way more. no one gives enough of a fuck to write a good fic for these 2.#ugh. im probably just being a bitch. like is it bc its a heterosexual ship? is the bar really so low for writing straight relationships that#they have to b so fucking boring immediately???? like what the fuck is happening. i feel like im losing my mind#wheres the passion? where the dedication? wheres the willingness to die for eachother and fight side by side?#its all boring bullshit or weird self insert feeling smut. or maybe its me. maybe im the problem bc i refuse to read the fics that have#adultery and divorce in them bc im so in denial abt the ending of bleach that i cannot stand to even look at#the canon endgame ships. it makes me to angry. so yea maybe im the problem#i jus6 don't understand it. its the same for narut0 x s4suke fics. like????#did we watch the same show??? why tf r u writing them so weird and boring and wrong????#that one i them im right abt bc others have confirmed it. but idk abt these 2. my fucking original otp is cursed to toil away in bad#fanfiction. or maybe all the good fics r on ff dot net. but fuck if im gonna wade thru that hellsite#anyway. this is what u get when u get invested in terrible anime. i mean with peace and love it is my nostalgia show but like u kno#unrelated
20 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins
#origins smp#i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals WHAT EVEN HAPPENED i was only there for the first oneš
#beeduo#otubbo#oranboo#beeduo fanart#i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY#DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM#IR WAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE and they were being really Funny thay shit h#ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its#been wayyyyyyy too long#BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise#bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorryā¹#had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign š bc i couldn't stop#yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my faultšššš#ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really#wanted to share ok i love you bge#WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED#RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like#water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT#ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASEššššššššš#I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I#VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB#OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be#Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON#SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub#lic had to say.... ok Now bye
52 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Matched with someone with āofos femme 4 butchā in her tinder bio like eleven days ago and she messaged me right after we matched but I didnāt have the app downloaded at the time so I didnāt see it for like four days, and I messaged her immediately when I saw it but she hasnāt replied and itās been like a week š needless to say sheās living rent free in my mind
#and like her message was āhi!! i cant believe i havent seen u on here before - r u new to the area/dating apps?ā#so i was excited. thereās definitely a chance sheās since deleted the app or just hasnāt opened it or something#finding people who identify as femme where i live is so hard. i have stone butch in my bio on tinder im fishing so hard#i did that dumb thing where you can pay like $3 to get read receipts turned on for a specific person#wanted to know if she was ignoring me or if she just hadnāt opened the app#but she has read recepits disabled#i did get a refund for that buts itās only $3. the micro transactions on that app are deranged though#like this feels really silly but itād be nice if it worked out#im also currently between jobs so i have too much free time to let this stew in my brain#Iāll give it another week. i could probably find her instagram if i really tried#would love to hear if i sound insane to other people
23 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
* i like 2 imagine post-phinabella-breakup phin w this kind of . lingering anxiety abt ppl not listening 2 him . ppl who ālikeā him but dont actually care abt hiz ideaz and him az a person
#phinz wordz#i do not mean 2 throw shade at phinabella enjoyerz but the phineasland thing iz 1 of my least favorite thingz abt it#and i would like 2 look at it from a Not Good angle#bc i sure wouldnt like it if ppl didnt pay attention 2 what i say 2 just fantasize abt a nonexistent romanticized weirdass verzion of me#that would hurt a lot actually ! and i would like phin 2 feel that#even in good company therez a nagging feeling in the back of hiz head that no1z listening and no1 actually carez#and i think baljeet iz very understanding abt it bc he relatez 2 an extent#so when phin iz like āwait r u listeningā jeet will happily recap what phinz just said 2 prove that he iz paying attention#n it makez phin rlly happy#partly projecting a thing me n my partner do#where ill blank n suddenly 4get what i waz talking abt in the middle of a convo n sheāll recap 2 help me find my train of thought again#i alwayz rlly appreciate it when she doez that ehehe#when ppl show theyve been listening ā¦..
9 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I just found out that my mom has a jewish grandfather who has roots from germany making him as ashkenazi despite being born in the west indies.
since judaism comes from the mom, it doesnt really matter if she got it from her mom or dad does it ?? all that matters is that it comes from the moms side. if the mother has jewish roots from her side then that her kids r jewish. by those means im jewish ????
never knew i was a jew until the age of nearly 17 and I havent celebrated shabbat or read torah, traditions, explored judaism and no nothing, worn a kippah, did hanukkah candles, went to a synagogue (except on my school trip but I was still so young???), and more.
how the fuck like
im in so much shock like you mean to tell me i am a jew all this time ??? and the fact that my uncle explained the judaism line in our family aka his family. like the jewish side comes from my uncle and mom (since they r bothers and sisters since they were both born to my grandma which had my mom so its my moms brother) their side is the German side (ashkenazi) and my moms grandfather (my great grandfather) is a jew from germany. his mother is jewish and the judaism is only in the fatherās side all the way to my mom passed my grandma making it my moms side of the family.
like. u mean to tell me. I am jewish ??? JEWISH ???? ALL THIS TIME ???
I asked her yesterday to make me and her do an ancestry test and find out what else is in our tree. I come from an extremely diverse background so I wouldnt be suprised if HALF the generation is a jew up until this point of the grandfather.
the fact it is from the fatherās side only ????? like... I AM SO IN SHOCK ???
#being jewish struggles#yall im a jew after all this time#imagine hiding it from me and i wouldnt have known#the family tree is... interesting...#its the way it was the rememberance of the tragic thing of jewish people and i ask my uncle#āhey r there any jews in our family?ā and he goes āyeah there r some in japan too.. u got japanese jews you got german jews#and a few more..ā ???????#like ??????????????? what the actual fuck#im so glad im taking the test that me and my mom r about to do I NEED TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE JEWISH SIDE#apparently due to where he comes from there are alot of diverse jews#like in his country where he was born (in the west indies) there were polish jews dutch jews sephardic jews and for my mom#her side is syrian and she has muslim people as well as jewish people who are mizrahi as well#im not even suprised if it stretches further than i expect it to#its the way i wouldnt have known if i never have asked. right now we r checking the tree to see what else is there#i guess im a proud jew ???? never had a jewish lifestyle so hopefully when i get a job and a house i can feel closer to my roots#i hope i still count as a jew.#judaism#jewish#multiracial and jewish struggles#i hate it here#why does the jewish line come from my MOM but it has to BE the DADS SIDE ONLY URGHHHH the best part about it is that its from the moms side#so matter what ur considered jewish AS LONG AS ITS ON MY MOTHERāS LINE since judaism is about the mom...very VERY STRICT about who is n not#so im black/white & asian with arab desi creole african european west indian (west indies) & jewish... interesting...#watch me get something more suprising. my great grandma is indian like fully blown indian mixed w bengali and pakistani and her background#is sri lankan.. my great grandfather is jewish from germany.. my great great great great grandma and father r muslims.. my head hurts#ITS TOO MUCH FUCKING INFORMATION LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUCKING GRASP ON ALL THAT..#all i know is that my momma dont believe in a religion. she leans into islam and sometimes god. my dad is FULLY Christian.#not suprised if hes also hiding jewish roots in the tree and hid it from me since he is kinda... deceased now.#like i said im taking a dna test and find out my roots and connect the dots because THIS is all insane. ALL INSANE.
10 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i love marius pontmercy 5ever
#love u marius fans where r u#he could have a billion haters and i'd still be his fan#love hate relationship with that guy#some of the stuff he does makes me put my head in my hands/stare at a wall#but overall i love him#his cringe has captivated me#yap yap yap#marius pontmercy#les mis#finding this post like 3 days later in my drafts after thinking i posted it already oh my gof
15 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Thinking of the absolute tragedy that is Leo and Jason
#itās so sad#like Leo ādiesā and then when he finally gets back Jason dies before they get to see each other again#itās just so fucked up#I wish they got to reunitešš#like take this as platonic or romantic itās still devastating#when I tell u I was sobbing when I read leo and Piper finding out Jason is goneā#Ig thatās what fics r forš#honestly tho like talk abt tragic#idk why this was suddenly on my mind but now Iām sad abt it#leo valdez#jason grace#pjo hoo toa#valgrace#<< kinda Ig#this isnāt even mentioning having like an entire set of false memories of someone#like that includes Piper too but DAMN that would suck#āwhereās Jasonā#ššš#my stuff
127 notes
Ā·
View notes