#i can write angst well but i don’t enjoy it Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[javierduffy]

missed them so bad my heart hurt so i slapped these together at the gym

[benevolentbones]

Hi, could you write Emily and the Reader where they broke up. and Emily from afar loves and misses the reader... you can add whatever you want. I'm waiting 😘

missing you | emily prentiss x reader

warnings: none just a lil angst

word count: 0.7k

a/n: hope you enjoy, emily my beloved <3 reblogs, requests and comments appreciated!

you and emily had been inseparable once, the kind of couple that others envied. your laughter filled rooms, your shared glances spoke volumes, and your connection was something deep and profound. but life had a way of complicating even the most perfect relationships. the demands of the job, the constant danger, and the emotional toll had finally driven a wedge between you.

the breakup had been mutual, though no less painful for it. you both knew that you needed time apart, space to heal and grow individually. still, it left a hollow ache in emily's heart that nothing seemed to fill.

weeks turned into months, and though emily threw herself into her work with the bau, she couldn't escape the memories of you. she saw you every day at the office, your professional demeanor a stark contrast to the warmth you once shared. you were cordial, even friendly, but there was a distance now that hurt more than the initial breakup.

emily found herself watching you from afar, her heart aching with longing. she noticed the small changes in your behavior—the way you smiled less often, the way you seemed quieter, more reserved. she wondered if you missed her as much as she missed you, if you still loved her as much as she loved you.

one evening, after a particularly grueling case, the team gathered at rossi's for a small celebration. emily couldn't help but steal glances at you, her heart clenching every time she saw your smile, which never quite reached your eyes anymore. she watched as you interacted with the others, your laughter sounding hollow, your gaze often drifting into the distance.

as the night wore on, emily found herself outside, needing a moment to collect her thoughts. the cool night air was a welcome relief, and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. the sound of the door opening behind her made her turn, and she saw you standing there, a hesitant smile on your lips.

"hey.” you said softly, stepping closer.

"hi…" emily replied, her voice just as quiet.

"needed a break from the crowd?" you asked, leaning against the railing beside her.

emily nodded. "yeah, just needed a moment..." she trailed off, eyes raking over your form.

there was a silence between you, not uncomfortable, but heavy with unspoken words. emily wanted to reach out, to tell you how much she missed you, how her heart ached every time she saw you. but she didn't know how to begin.

"it's been hard.” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. "being around you, pretending everything is okay."

emily's breath caught in her throat, and she turned to face you, her eyes searching yours. "i know. it's been hard for me too."

you looked down at your hands, fiddling with the ring on your finger—a habit emily knew well. "i miss you…” you admitted, your voice breaking slightly.

emily reached out, her fingers gently touching your arm. "i miss you too.” she confessed, her voice filled with emotion.

you looked up, your eyes meeting hers, and for a moment, the distance between you seemed to vanish. "i don't know if we can ever go back to what we were-“ you said, your voice trembling.

"maybe we can’t…" emily agreed, her heart breaking at the thought. "but maybe we can find something new, something better."

you glanced away for a moment. “i don’t know em.” your nickname for her ringing in her ears.

“we can try?” her voice laced with a pleading tone.

you looked up at her, she seemed like the shell of the person she used to be. her dark eyes tired, the colour drained from her pale face, but, she was still your emily. the woman you loved.

“i’d like that..” you mumbled out softy.

emily smiled, a genuine smile that reached her eyes. "me too."

the two of you stood there for a while, the night air wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. it wasn't a perfect solution, but it was a start. and as emily looked at you, she realized that sometimes love meant finding new ways to be together, even after everything had changed.

taglist!! @0108s22m @rainoftearss @potatovoyager @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @luvmia222 @shardsofmarxx @silver138 @lover-of-books-and-tea @thedancingnerdmermaid @khxna @cynbx

[formulawolff]

xv. everlong - t.w.

pairing: female driver!reader x toto wolff

word count: 3.0k

warnings: age gap relationship, team principal x driver relationship, cursing, marijuana use, alcohol use, toto being down bad per usual, light angst, toto is not the best person for a minute, mentions of divorce/separation, some lighttttt smut (the heavy smut will be included in the next chapter! promise!) oral (f! receiving), some realllll sweet n tender shit, yadayadayada

a/n: this chapter is probably one of my top five favorites, if not favorite chapter of this series. although it would be pretty hard to top chapter xii., i really enjoyed writing this one! to set the mood for the chapter, i have a few song recs to listen to as you read! please try to listen to them in order, as they really set the tone/vibe of golden girl x toto! <3 also, a huge shoutout to the anon who inspired me to write about gg x toto smoking together!! :)

little hell - city and colour

alkaline - sleep token

one way (feat. t-pain) - 6lack, t-pain

everlong - foo fighters

skin - mac miller

prev. | next.

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“toto, tell me. are you in love with her?” 

yes, susie. i am. 

she is a divine being, bringing me to my knees at the sight of her. she is the sun, a bright, radiant beacon of light and warmth. her touch alone makes me weak. my mind is consumed with thoughts of her every waking second. i’ve been apart from her for so long, i can barely hold it together right now. 

the team principal inhales sharply, letting out a shaky breath, “i – i can’t answer that.”

“you are, aren’t you?” susie’s expression is unreadable, “you’re in love with her. if this was just some fuck you wouldn’t be acting this way.”

there it was again.

that pang of jealousy deeply interwoven in her fiery retort. 

“susie,” toto begins, scrambling for formulate some sort of coherent response, “i don’t know what to say or how to respond in a manner that will make this any more–”

“no,” she holds up a hand, “you do not have to explain yourself to me any further. i know you love that girl. you wouldn’t have let her pull that little stunt if you didn’t.”

“it wasn’t just some little stunt–”

“exactly,” susie shakes her head, tears glistening in the light, “it wasn’t just some publicity stunt to you. i could tell that you enjoyed that kiss, toto. you were practically making out with her for fuck’s sake.”

“susie,” toto rises to his feet, “we made an agreement, remember? we wanted this. both of us.”

“but that doesn’t mean i have to act like it doesn’t tear me apart seeing you with someone new. someone younger than me. someone who is far more beautiful than i ever will be. someone who can bear more children for you. someone who will–”

“susie, stop. cut that shit out right now.” 

“why?” she demands, whipping her head towards the team principal, “why are you so stone cold as i’m falling apart in front of you? why does this not bother you?”

“because,” toto coughs, clearing his throat, “i don’t love you anymore. that’s why. all of those feelings, they’re long gone. when i look at you, i don’t feel love. you’re one of my good friends, one of my business partners, and the mother of my children. i feel respect, and a deeply rooted companionship. but i just don’t feel love. not even an inkling.”

her eyes narrow, “oh, so i was wrong. you’re not just in love. you’re in deep.”

“and i’m not going to stand here and play childish little games,” the team principal scoffs, “you’ve never acted this way before, and i am not sure why this girl is bothering you so badly when i’ve mentioned other women in the past.”

susie’s lower lip curls into a sneer, “did it ever occur to you that this bothers me so much because i know her? because we were friends at one point? she has a relationship with the academy, toto. i’ve met with her several times. we’ve spoken on a regular basis at one point. it just feels wrong.”

“well,” toto shrugs, “she’s going to be around for a while, susie. you may want to get used to seeing her face around here.”

“you’re fucking ridiculous,” susie snarls, raising a pointed finger at the team principal, “you’ve been a terrible father lately. you’ve been a horrid team principal. and the worst part, you’ve completely lost it. ten years ago, you would have never put your reputation on the line like this.” 

the team principal remained silent as his former wife gathered her composure, cursing under her breath as she slung the strap of her purse over her shoulder, nearly stomping out of the office. the department surrounding his space probably eavesdropped on the entire heated exchange, but he didn’t care. 

after monaco, it seemed like he had less and less fucks to give these days. 

licking his lower lip, toto almost crashes down into his chair, collapsing as a groan rumbles in his chest.

so much for her taking that news well. 

and if he happened to marry this girl?

oh god. 

susie would probably have a conniption. fuck, she would probably ransack his entire office, defacing each and every one of his items. shit, she would even probably try to find a way to get him fired somehow. 

well, he didn’t entirely blame her. it wasn’t like he kept her in the loop about his personal life or romantic relationships. although they had a pretty amicable relationship after their separation, the subject of new love was always like rubbing salt in a wound.

a wound that toto thought had healed. but apparently not. her explosive outburst in the office reaffirmed that. 

there was a pang in his chest, squeezing in his heart as he hunched over the desk, burying his head in his arms. 

oh, how he missed his golden girl.

god, wasn’t that fucked up. 

his ex-wife of nearly a decade just basically professed she still harbored romantic feelings for him, and here he was, fretting as he yearned over his new love. 

he needed to see her, oh so badly. 

but how? although they were only approximately forty miles apart, it felt as if there were thousands upon thousands of miles between them. it was more than likely due to the nature of their current situation, but it left him aching for one singular thing. 

her touch. 

fuck, he craved her touch. the light drag of her nails against his skin as her fingertips traced along his toned back and shoulder blades. the wisp of her hair as she buried her head into his chest. the ghost of her mouth of his as their bodies intertwined together. 

her presence alone was enough to send him spiraling. 

it wasn’t like they were forced to go their separate ways between monaco and montreal. it was just suggested heavily by their pr teams that they do so, just so that williams and mercedes could launch their own personal investigations in regards to their relationship. 

and for the time being, it appeared that things were all cleared. they had broken no rules. they didn’t breach any contracts. well, not entirely. mercedes, williams, and the fia did not need to know about the hours the two of you spent discussing your decision to join toto at mercedes. 

besides, they did not need to know that you were naked, basking in the warmth of him, body tangled with his when you made that decision. 

the official contract talks would have to be scheduled here soon. 

after all, toto was running out of time. 

he needed that second driver. 

and he had you. it wasn’t entirely official quite yet, but he knew he had you. 

time to start making things official then, huh? 

not like he had to really, you already did that for him in monaco.

plucking his phone off his desk, the team principal starts to type out a lengthy text message, swallowing the lump in his throat as his thumb hovers over the send icon. 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“what are you feeling for dinner over there, eeyore?”

alex’s voice snaps you out of your zombie-esque trance, your head swiveling as you glance over your shoulder, “i’ll just eat a little bit from whatever you make. i’m not really hungry.”

“oh come on,” alex rolls his eyes, yelling from across the kitchen, “you have to eat something! fuck our diets right now. what do you want? i’ll literally make anything for you. i am begging you to eat something.”

“it’s rare for alex to beg,” a giggle sounds from your right, light and airy, “it wouldn’t be a bad idea though, to eat a little something.”

exhaling, your gaze falls on lily as she sits beside you, perched in the plush chair, “i’m just not that hungry.”

“is it because of everything going on?” lily cocks her head, reaching for her wine glass, “i mean, i can’t imagine what it must be like to be you right now. you have to focus on your racing, your diet, keeping up on social media. yet, you also have to factor in your parents, your briefings, and your personal life. it must be a lot, considering what happened in monaco. by the way, what did your parents think? were they shocked? happy for you?”

“well,” your eyes drift over to the ledge of the balcony, taking in the way the sun was beginning its descent over the horizon, “they weren’t necessarily jumping for joy that i happened to fall for a fifty-two year old man. i think they’ll feel a lot better once they meet him. toto has this charm that has draws you in. i’m sure he would win them over in a heartbeat.”

“just like he did with you?” lily teases, leaning over to prod you playfully, “you know, you could have just told me and alex about him. we would’ve kept things private for you!”

“i know,” you bite the inside of your cheek, “but there was just so much risk involved with telling people about it. and i was scared of how you guys would have reacted, what you would have said, or if you would have told james or the fia or–”

“hey,” lily places a tender hand on your shoulder, “we don’t always choose who we fall in love with. we can choose how we act on those feelings, but that is just ultimately something for the universe to decide. you just happened to fall for a devastatingly handsome, recently divorced team principal.”

“i heard that!” alex calls, earning an eye roll from lily.

“i’m just trying to help her feel better! we both know that man is gorgeous!” 

“i miss that gorgeous man,” you bring your knees to your chest, resting your chin between them, “i know we didn’t have to spend the brief break apart, but our media teams advised us to. you have no idea how badly i’m fighting the urge to just tell him to take the next flight to–”

yet, before you can finish your sentence, your phone vibrates on the table, notifying you that you had a new text message.

eagerly, you snatch it up, eyes scanning over the screen. 

i miss you, beautiful girl. i’m not sure where you are, but i am taking the next flight to monaco as soon as i possibly can. i should be there by tonight. could we rendezvous at my place? if you need me to pay for your own ticket, i will. just let me know.

“what did he say?” lily peers over your shoulder. 

“he’s coming to monaco,” your heart skips a beat as the realization washes over you, “wait, i’m already here! he’ll be here tonight! he wants me to meet him at his place.”

“well,” lily’s eyes glimmer, a bright smile enveloping her features, “looks like you need to eat, take a shower, and get ready missy! alex, will you start your shower for me?”

“i already heard the entire thing,” the driver tuts as he strolls onto the balcony, two plates in hand, “eat first, and then i’ll start a shower for you. from the sound of it, it seems like you’ll have a long night ahead, so you need to eat up before you get your guts rearranged.”

heat flourishes into your cheeks at his comment, “i – oh my god. you don’t know that for sure.”

“i think i do,” a smug paints his lips as he sets the plate down beside you, “there’s a reason why you’ve been so glowy and bubbly these last few weeks. i know you’re not smoking or doing any drugs, so there’s only one other thing i can think of.”

“i cannot stand you,” you mumble, sheer embarrassment taking hold. 

“and that’s why you’re sitting down,” alex lets out a chuckle, “don’t worry buttercup, the teasing is only going to get worse from here on out.”

although you were more than grateful for alex allowing you to stay with him in monaco between the two races, it did have it pitfalls. and that was one of them. ever since you told him about toto, the teasing was relentless. it was never malicious, always lighthearted. how an older brother would pester his younger sister. which, you didn’t mind. 

ever since the meeting with williams, your emotions had been nothing but a tumultuous torrent of anxiety, regret, and well, terror. 

you were terrified that toto was going to choose preserving his career over your relationship. after all, you couldn’t blame him. he was one of mercedes’ spearheads, one of the most respected and dominant forces among the paddocks in his role as ceo and team principal. 

he was a father as well, with three children whom he loved dearly. he was perceived as a family man, who often toted jack on his shoulders or brought him along with to races. additionally, you couldn’t shake the one thing that had been gnawing away at you, completely tearing you apart. 

what did susie think of you? what did she think of your relationship? was she going to try and win toto back? did she still have feelings for him? 

if they happened to meet in the time you were apart, what did she say? how did he respond? was he guilty somehow? was he going to admit to you that after seeing her, some emotions resurfaced?

god, your head was your own personal little hell. 

and who knew if you were ever going to crawl out.

however, deep in your heart, you knew that you needed to see him. you needed to tell him the very thing that had been clawing at the depths of your very conscience. 

you loved him. 

and he needed to know. 

and by god, you were determined to tell him.

well, it looked like tonight would be your perfect opportunity. 

time to prepare for the worst.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“go on, take another hit.”

your fingers pinch the rolled paper, bringing it to your mouth. lashes fluttering, you inhale, the harshness of the contents flooding your lungs, burning your throat. once you were satisfied with  the intake, you purse your lips, smoke billowing out. 

“good girl,” he hums, fingers squeezing your thigh, “i missed you, you know that?”

the corners of your lips curl into a blissful grin, “and i missed you. so much. more than you’ll ever know.”

the lights of monaco glitter in the distance, casting a soft glow over the ocean as the waves lap the shore, foam encasing the gritty shore. hints of tangerine poke out from above the horizon, promising of the sun’s arrival. the scent of marijuana lingers in the air as toto taps the joint against the tray, his brows knit together with concentration. 

above you, stars gleam, dotting the indigo hue that swathed the sky. all around, the mediterranean sea stretched for miles, the lights from various boats and yachts blinking, a gentle reminder that you were not alone.

although, you were in your own little world, utterly enamored and allured by the man beside you. 

toto arrived to monaco around eleven-thirty p.m., not arriving to his luxurious property until about midnight. although it was well later than you expected, you were bright-eyed and bushy tailed, oh so ready to reunite with the team principal. 

even though it was well past the hours he was normally up and about, he offered to take you on his yacht, where the two of you could just spend some time alone together. 

of course, it was an offer you couldn’t refuse.

especially when he mentioned that he had picked up a “special treat for his special girl.”

that treat was a tin of five pre-rolled joints, neatly packed together. the papers encasing them were oh so cute, a light blue with little fluffy, white clouds. the tin itself was to die for, with snoopy as the red baron, a cartoon bubble to his right stating, “up, up, and away!” 

his plug was definitely a woman, but you didn’t mind one bit. after all, with packaging that cute? how could you be upset? toto informed you that the tin was yours to keep, and he was more than happy to keep it filled for you. you just had to say the word, and he would contact his connection. 

smoking was probably the last thing you should be doing between races, but it wasn’t like the fia was testing the drivers regularly. even though the testing was random, toto informed you that once he got the word of any potential tests, he would find a way to let you know. 

you guys had already bent the rules enough, so why not bend them a little bit more?

“hey,” his is low, so gentle it was barely audible, “can i tell you something?”

he’s situated between your legs, spreading your thighs apart as you sit on the sundeck, the cool surface sending a shiver down your spine as it meets with heated skin. 

“of course,” you murmur, a hand connecting with his cheek, “what is it?”

“well for one, i want to fuck the shit out of you right now,” his eyes are glossy, pupils dilated as they hone in on you, “but i need to tell you something first.”

there’s a slight stubble as it grazes the pad of your thumb, his plush lips parting ever so slightly, “what is it, toto?”

he’s lowered now, his mouth hovering above your pussy, the thin fabric of your shorts the only barrier between his lips and sweet, sweet, relief. the relief he had been desperate for these last few days, pacing back and forth in his office as he attempted to maintain his composure. to keep it together. 

but here you were now, looking oh so breathtaking as the moonlight cascaded down, illuminating your skin with a beautiful silvery hue. 

you were a goddess.

 a truly divine being. the one he wanted to worship every single second, every single day for the rest of his life. the one who brought him to knees. the one who made him so utterly weak. 

he was in far too deep now, deeply lost and consumed by you. 

and god, he never wanted to go back.

even if he wanted tried, he knew he couldn’t.

and now, there was only you in this moment. 

drawing him in, coaxing him to fall even deeper. 

“i love you.” 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

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if you would like to be added to the taglist, let me know! as always, thank you all so much the continuous support! <3 i love y'all so much!

[soullumii]

it's a risk but babe, i need the thrill | joel miller x f!reader

part 1, part 2

summary: everything finally comes to a head

warnings: 18+!!! smut! unprotected piv, gentle smut

tags: angst, reconciliation, fluff, pining, smut (but it's light compared to the other two parts), halloween vibes (i was supposed to finish this in october, oops)

word count: 5.8k

a/n: guys. i am SO SORRY for the wait. this was so hard for me to finish i almost gave up so many times. i'm still unhappy with this but i can't make myself work on it anymore so here u go. thank you all so much for your patience, i really appreciate it. special thank you to @joelsfaveouritegirl for your support... i probably would've never finished this if it weren't for you, so thank you. <3. and thanks to all of you who kept me accountable. i hope you enjoy this fucking mess. also, this is probably the last joel fic i'll write for a while. i'm sorry. still, i hope you like this.

______________________________________________________________

There are only two seasons in Jackson, Wyoming: winter and not winter.

Where other states might have a gradual shift from warm to cold, in Wyoming, it’s like a slap to the face, quite literally. The moment you step into the evening October air, it feels as if you’ve walked into a wall of cold. 

You shiver in your thick coat, and pull your scarf over your frosty nose as you meander down to the plaza.

While Jackson residents enjoy their time indoors and close to the fireplace during the colder months, they still love to celebrate outdoors, relying on their booze to keep them warm.

You don’t stop by Joel’s for a drink this time, he’s likely already in town square, dragged there by his daughter. Or… sort of daughter. He’s told you how he feels about Ellie, but the girl has her own opinions. Sure, she might deny that he’s like her dad, but she sure as hell treats him like he is. 

You’re meeting them there. 

The stars are already twinkling in the sky when you reach the throng of people. All of Jackson’s residents are in the plaza tonight for Halloween, dressed in homemade costumes and ones raided from the Party City in Idaho Falls. Jack-o-lanterns glow menacingly in corners and scarecrows are propped against brick walls. A few people in particularly frightening costumes prowl about, startling kids and adults alike.

Stalls line the edges of the plaza, each one providing something different. Tipsy Bison’s stall is run by Tommy, serving alcohol for the adults of the town. Seth’s stall is serving pork and brisket sandwiches. There’s a few stalls down the road advertising pumpkins and pastries, and you get a whiff of apple cider. Barrels of fire are scattered about to provide warmth. Lights are strung from the roofs of buildings, spread across the road, like clothes on a clothesline. 

It’s incredibly cozy, and already, you feel much warmer than you did walking out of your house. 

Within moments of passing Seth’s stall you hear Ellie’s voice ring out. 

“She's here!”

You can’t see her weaving through the crowd but you can see Joel trailing behind, his arm trapped in front of him. He politely excuses himself and apologizes to those he bumps into as his daughter drags him through a crowd of people. 

You can’t help but laugh, especially when you hear him say, “Jesus, kid, slow down.” 

And then she’s in front of you, smiling and bouncing excitedly on her heels, dressed as one of the superheroes from the comics she reads. Joel is behind her wearing a black blindfold with the eyes cut out, and a felt superhero crest is stitched to the front of his black sweater. He looks very adorable. Clearly, Ellie forced him to dress up. His gaze catches yours, full of something you can’t quite grasp, a small, embarrassed smile on his lips.

“Hi,” he says, voice soft.

“Hi,” you repeat.

It’s been… well… you’re not quite sure how to describe how it’s been since you told him to stop kissing you. 

It’s not like you guys have stopped seeing each other since then. Or that it’s been more awkward or anything. It just feels as if you’ve been depriving your body of what it needs, like you’re actively starving yourself. 

You’d feel full while he was fucking you, and yet there was a hole in your chest, gnawing at your thoughts, a hunger so deep rooted that it’s been taking you longer to come. 

Joel had noticed, too. Noticed your struggle and your frustration. He took it as something he was doing wrong, even though you insisted that wasn’t the case. Still, he took his time with you, trying to meet all your needs, and that, funnily enough, just made you feel worse. 

Your meetings have grown fewer. Sometimes you would go a couple weeks without seeing each other—at least like that.  Funny, how before you were so upset when he hadn’t been with you for a while. And now… now the distance is needed.

You still went out to dinner with him and Tommy and Maria. You still stopped by to say hi to Ellie and ask Joel how he’s been. Things have been normal, besides the overwhelming feeling of longing that strikes your breast the moment you see him. 

You worry that it shows on your face, especially because of the dreams you’ve been having, like some lovesick teenager. Dreams that don’t involve just having sex. Dreams that frame the two of you as lovers, as parents as… growing old together. 

Sometimes you’ll wake up crying, wondering if maybe you should just stop seeing him, talking to him, being around him all together. But then you’ll see him in town, or on patrols, and you know you’d never be able to stay away.

You swallow down the lump in your throat, and turn your attention to Ellie. 

“Hey kiddo!” You greet, plastering a smile on. She doesn’t seem to notice your being off. 

“You’re not dressed up,” she remarks, arms crossing over her chest. 

“Um. Yes I am,” you gesture to your black sweater and black pants. “I’m a black cat.” 

“You don’t even have ears or whiskers and a nose. That's a terrible costume.” 

Joel squeezes her shoulder with a frown. “Hey, quit.”

“No, she’s fine. She’s right,” you sigh. “This was super last minute.” 

“Cat is doing face painting down by the haunted house. You should let her paint some whiskers on you.” 

You take a glance at Joel and he shrugs. God he looks ridiculous in that costume. Your heart constricts. You might as well be as ridiculous as him. 

“That sounds great,” you say. Ellie looks like she’s about to drag you there when Dina comes running around the corner, practically slamming into her. 

“Hey!” Ellie laughs, “Slow down.” 

“You have to come with me. We’re going to do the haunted house, Jesse is already waiting for us. Come on,” Dina says, and pulls Ellie away before you and Joel can say a thing. 

The two of you stand there for a moment, watching the kids with fond smiles before finally looking at each other. 

His gaze seems to soften impossibly more when it lands on you.

“Your costume is kinda lame,” he says after a moment. 

“Oh shut up.”

**

The paintbrush glides smoothly over your skin as Cat paints the tip of your nose black and whiskers on your cheeks. You keep sneaking glances at Joel who waits patiently for your face painting session to finish.

Once you’re done you stride over to him, grinning.

“Well?” You prompt, turning around and showing off your newly improved costume. “Not so lame anymore, huh?”

He chuckles, eyes roaming your figure. Heat simmers low in your belly at the glint in his dark eyes. “Much better.”

He pauses, eyes catching on your face. “Hey, wait.” He grabs your hand and pulls you in close. He’s warm, a nice contrast to the cool October air. You want to just snuggle up to him, wriggle your fingers up under his sweater to share his warmth.

“You got a little somethin’…” he trails off, hand coming up to press his thumb to your skin. He gently wipes off a stray black smudge from beneath your eye. It takes no less than five seconds, yet it feels like an eternity. Your chest presses into his, his hand is warm as it cups your cheek. His breath puffs against your lips, an almost kiss. And his eyes, focused so dearly on the smudge, slowly drift up to lock with yours. 

“Perfect,” he mumbles, gaze never straying from yours. His hand never leaves your cheek, his thumb brushing carefully below your eye once more, a soft, subconscious caress now.

“Thanks,” you breathe.

Time feels like it’s stopped. 

A kid rushes by with a delighted scream as another kid in a costume chases after him. You and Joel jolt apart, snapped back into motion.

He clears his throat and you swallow hard.

“You want somethin’ to drink?” he asks.

“Yes, please.”

***

Tommy is beaming with his own little flush of alcohol when you and Joel come across his stall.

Maria hangs by his side, but her eyes follow every action happening around you. Ever the diligent leader.

“Howdy,” Tommy says, and Maria takes the time to glance over at the two of you with a welcoming smile.

“Hey,” Joel says, and you nod your head in greeting.

“You guys lookin’ for a drink?” Tommy asks. “We’ve got spiked apple cider.”

You bounce excitedly on your toes at that. Joel laughs lightly at the way your expression brightens. “We’ll take two.”

“Comin’ right up.”

“You’ve done a great job planning for this, Maria. Everything looks amazing,” you say.

She turns to you, and to your surprise, she looks a bit bashful. “Thanks. Everyone on the council helped a lot. I’m glad we can provide something fun like this.”

“The kids really need it.”

“I think the adults do, too. It’s nice to be able to scream without it being true fear.”

“Amen to that,” Tommy pipes up and sets two mugs of steaming spiked apple cider down. 

“Thanks, Tommy,” Joel says, and hands you a mug.

“There’s a haunted house down the road, you guys should go check it out. Laney and Paul spent a long time on it,” Maria says.

“We will, thanks. See you guys around!”

You wave goodbye to them and make your way through the plaza. Joel’s hand finds the small of your back, warm and steady. You’re glad for it, as scarers prowl along the streets, jumping out randomly and thrusting their hands in your face.

The haunted house lingers at the edge of the road like a ghost. Party City decorations blot the yard: gravestones, plastic skeletons, witches with rotted cloaks. It’s like everything they could manage to carry was dumped here. 

A line curves outside the door, kids bouncing on their feet as they await their turns. You feel a little ridiculous joining them, being your age, but Joel probably feels even more ridiculous so you push the thought from your mind.

“I’m actually kind of nervous,” you tell him as screams ring out from within the house.

“This thing ain’t nearly as terrifyin’ as the real world,” Joel says.

“Yeah, but still. I’ve never been a fan of being scared.” 

Joel takes a sip of his spiked apple cider and shrugs. “I’ll protect ya.”

“My hero,” you coo and run your hand over the superhero crest stitched to his chest. He smiles. 

Soon enough you’re at the door. 

“You go first,” you tell Joel, and shove him in front of you, but you don’t let go of him.

"Good to know you're not afraid to throw me to the wolves."

"Your sacrifice will not be in vain."

He rolls his eyes but lets you fist one of your hands in his sweater and hold onto his arm with the other. You peer around him as the two of you venture inside. 

A radio plays spooky sounds from all directions as you trail behind Joel through the house. Your eyes flit across every crevice, searching for who is going to scare you. Still, you don’t notice everything.

From seemingly nowhere, someone pops out in a Michael Meyers mask with a fake knife. You screech and hold tight to Joel. He hardly even flinches.

“How are you so chill?” you ask with a pout once you’ve recovered. Red lights flash in the hallway. Your voice is shaking. God, you’re a wimp.

“Because I’ve got someone I need to protect. I can’t act all scared, now, can I?”

You roll your eyes, knowing he’s just making shit up. He’s not scared at all.

You get closer and closer to him as the house progresses. Your hands are now interlinked, your cheek pressed against the warm muscle of his shoulder blades. You’re practically on top of him, trying to stay as close as possible. 

Even with Joel acting so nonchalant, you’re scared. You get jump scared a few more times as you continue, thankful that your hands are preoccupied with holding onto Joel else you might’ve punched one of the scarers.

Eventually you make it to the end in one piece, your heart racing. You know it’s ridiculous—Ellie probably got through this with a straight face. Still, it’s kind of fun, being scared. You’re giggling into Joel’s sweater by the end of it, and he’s tucked you into his side, hand still interlocked with yours as you meander back to the plaza.

Warmth blossoms in your chest. Is this what it would be like if you were truly together? You feel the urge to push up on your toes to kiss him, but you shove it down. Guilt tugs at the back of your mind at the thought. 

“You’re such a scaredy cat, I guess that costume is fittin’,” he muses, rubbing warmth into your waist.

“Sorry we can’t all be macho men like you."

You go to pull away, to create some distance. You can’t keep getting close to him like this. It weighs too heavily on your heart. But Joel squeezes your hand and tugs you back into his side, and you’re so very weak. You melt into him despite yourself.

“I think you rather like my macho-ness,” he says.

Heat pools in your belly at the smirk on his face, the darkness in his eyes. You avert your gaze with a small smile, warmth coloring your cheeks. “Yeah right.”

He turns toward you, towering over you. His hand splays heavily on your hip, and you shudder. “Playin’ coy now, huh? Where was this yesterday when—“

“Joel!” Ellie screeches, skidding to a stop in front of the two of you. You feel the urge to jerk away, but Joel only shifts so that he’s no longer in your face. He still keeps you close. 

“What’s up kiddo?” 

“There’s a campfire, everyone’s asking us to play a song.” 

That piques your interest. Joel has played guitar for you a couple times, though he’s always very shy about it. You’ve stumbled across him playing on his own with no one to watch. It’s fascinating what the music does to him.

It’s like he’s transported somewhere else, his eyes closed as his fingers pluck the strings of his guitar, his foot tapping to the beat, his head nodding along as his hands tell a story through the notes. 

You’ve never seen him play a whole song like that, he’s always noticed you before he could ever finish. And when you’d ask him to keep playing, there was a bit of stiltedness. You realized it was nervousness… he wanted you to be impressed, to like what he was doing. 

You’re not sure how you ever could dislike his playing. 

“You should do it,” you say. 

Joel’s hand comes up to rub the back of his neck. “I dunno—“

“What, you’re not scared, are you?” you tease.

“Don't talk to me about being scared. Pretty sure you stretched out my sweater with how hard you were holding onto me,” he counters. 

“Will you two stop bickering like a married couple? Joel, they’re waiting. Come on!” Ellie says and grabs his hand, tugging him along. You laugh as you follow, though her little comment sticks in your mind. 

***

Joel settles down on a log with his guitar in his lap. Ellie sits at his side. You got a spot a couple logs away, so you could get a good view of them. The campfire lights his silver hair copper, reflecting like stars off the wood of his guitar. 

“Any fans of Bread here?” he asks, and a few hoots and hollers sound out. Joel laughs at that, and Ellie rolls her eyes. You've never heard of the band, but you wait with bated breath. They tune their guitars, and then Joel takes a deep breath and counts down. 

One, two, three, four…

Soft strumming fills the air. Ellie keeps the main melody, but Joel plucks more of the details. He sings first.

Baby I’m-a want you

Baby I’m-a need you

You’re the only one I care enough to hurt about

His voice is smooth, a bit shaky from the nerves, but it washes over you like a warm wave of water. Immediately, you’re drawn in. It’s unrealistic, but you still think that Joel could save the world with his voice. It’s scratchy but soft, if one can be both of those things at the same time.

He looks up through his lashes, his gaze catching yours.

Maybe I’m-a crazy, but I just can’t live without

your lovin’ and affection… givin’ me direction

Like a guiding light to help me through my darkest hours

Lately I’m-a prayin’ that you’ll always be-a stayin’

Beside me…

Your breath catches in your throat while he sings.

It’s just a song, you tell yourself. But the way he’s looking at you… it’s as if everyone else has disappeared. As if the words were created specifically for you. As if… as if maybe he chose this song for a reason…

Ellie picks up the prechorus with her angelic voice, and you’re brought back into the present. But then Joel starts the solo, his eyelids fluttering shut as the music takes over him. His head nods along to notes as he plucks each one out with precision and skill. His foot taps in time with the beat, and people cheer, but you can’t stop staring. 

The solo ends all too soon, but Joel’s voice merges beautifully with Ellie’s harmonies back on the prechorus once more. 

Lately I’m-a prayin’ that you’ll always be a stayin’

Beside me…

Used to be my life was just emotions passin’ by. 

Then you came along and made me laugh and made me cry

He gives you a small grin, secret, for no one else but you.

You taught me why…

Baby I’m-a want you. 

Baby I’m-a need you. 

Oh, it took so long to find you baby

Baby I’m-a want you.

Baby I’m-a need you.

Your chest constricts at the sight of him, at the sound of the last few notes being plucked expertly by his fingers. At the blend of his voice with Ellie’s. You can't bear to sit here at this campfire, watching him only as a friend, a fellow neighbor, just like everyone else. You want him to sing this song for you. To know that it’s only you he’s thinking of as the last few strings are plucked by his nimble fingers, ringing out into the dark, cold night. That it’s only you he sees clapping and cheering him on. But you can’t even grant him that, already on your feet the moment the song ends, practically sprinting away from the campfire as your throat grows tight and tears spring to your eyes.

You hope no one has noticed. You hope the footsteps you can hear crunching on crimson leaves are just someone walking past. Of course they’re not though.

“Are you okay?” the familiar timbre of Joel’s voice asks.

God, no! Why! 

You frantically wipe the tears from your eyes, sniffling snot so it doesn’t drip down your lip and betray you. 

“Oh,” you start, and internally curse the way your voice shakes. You turn toward the one who has been unraveling you at the seams with a trembling smile. “Hi, Joel.”

“Christ, what’s wrong, baby?”

“Don’t—don’t call me baby,” you say, and it’s not at all what you mean to say. You mean to just reassure, to just brush this off and bury it deep inside and never let it out. But you don’t. 

Joel’s face hardens, and he steps in closer with a hand stretched out but at the look on your face, thinks better of touching you.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” he says. “Why are you crying? What happened?”

Nothing. It was just a pretty song.

Was it for me?

Nothing. I’m just being hormonal.

Do those lyrics mean something to you?

Nothing. 

Enough. Enough with the excuses and the rules and the lies. 

“You happened,” you spit. 

He takes a surprised step back. “What?”

“You and your stupid fucking—your stupid fucking friends with benefits and your stupid fucking big heart and your stupid fucking guitar happened, Joel.”

This is probably the first time you’ve ever rendered Joel speechless outside of sex. He looks so stupid standing there staring at you with his wide eyes and his dropped jaw. And yet all you want to do his pull him in and hug him and tell him how much you love his stupid fucking face. Instead, you take a step back. 

“I don’t… I don’t understand,” he mutters. “You’re freezin’. Let’s head back to my place, we can talk about it there—“

“No. No. I won’t let you just fuck me and then pretend like whatever’s between us doesn’t exist.”

“That’s not—“ he starts, but then must register what you said because his brows furrow over his ice cold gaze. “Me? I pretend like it doesn’t exist?” 

“Yes!”

“No I don’t. You’re the one that told me you didn’t want me to kiss you anymore. You’re the one that’s been keepin’ me at arm's length all this time. You’re the one pretending.”

You go to yell back at him, to deny, but the realization that he’s right kills the words in your throat, and you fall silent. 

Joel steps closer, his voice dropping. “You can act like I’m the one that’s been torturing you as much as you like, but it just ain’t true.” 

His eyes flit across your face wildly, taking in the tears in your eyes, the tremble of your lips, the tint of your cheeks from the cold. He softens.

“Darlin' I... I have been in love with you since the first time I heard you laugh. Since the first time you even glanced my way. Every god damn day is torture wanting all of you when all I can have is some of you.”

You can’t speak, can hardly even breathe. 

“If you don’t want to make this anythin’ other than sex, just tell me,” he whispers, his hand coming up to cradle your jaw. His breath condenses into steam in the cold air. “Tell me you want to keep pretending, and we can keep pretending."

“I…I don’t.” You shake your head. “I don’t want to keep pretending.”

His nose brushes yours, his breath warm against your lips. “Tell me you don’t want more.”

You swallow harshly. “I want more.” 

“Tell me you’re sorry you made me stop kissing you.”

“Please, kiss me, Joel.”

“You’re not very good at followin’ directions, are you?” he says, grinning, and you can’t help but laugh into the kiss when he pulls you in.

His lips are soft, deliberate when they meet yours. He coaxes you open, makes you slow down, pulls you into it so you feel it entirely. Reminds you of what you were missing when you forbade him from kissing you. 

God, you missed it so much. Missed him. 

Joel’s arms wind around your waist, his hands sliding along the fabric of your coat, and it’s so cold but god you wish you had less layers on right now. You’re sure the warmth of his hands could keep you from hypothermia. 

“I’m sorry I forbade you from kissing me,” you say. 

He hums, “I guess I can forgive you. Might need some convincing.”

“Oh shut up,” you grin, and pull him back in again. 

“I hate pretending like I don’t love you,” he murmurs against your lips, hands gripping your waist.

“You… really love me?”

“Did you not hear my speech earlier?” 

“I did. I just… can’t really believe it.”

He pulls you in close and gently grasps your jaw with his large hands. He kisses you again, thumbs brushing against your cheeks. 

His lips find the corner of your mouth. “I love you,” he says. 

A kiss to your cheek. “I love you.”

A kiss to your eyelid. “I love you.” 

When he pulls back, he’s smiling again. It’s strange to see Joel smile. He really doesn’t do it often around anyone. But you guess you’re an exception.

All that time you had spent pushing him away, agonizing over how much you loved him, fearing that he’d leave you if you so much had hinted that you were in love with him, only for him to be in love with you all this time? Holy shit. The world feels like it’s turned upside down. 

“Okay, I think I believe you now,” you say in a laugh. 

“You haven’t said it back, which I guess is alright—“

“I love you too, Joel,” you interrupt. 

He softens again. “I love you,” he murmurs, and pulls you in again for another toe curling kiss. God, you were an idiot for making him stop.

He wipes the tears from your eyes with a calloused thumb. “Your face paint is smudgin’.” 

“It was a stupid costume anyway.”

“No, it's cute. But…” Joel glances about, lips quirking in a smirk. He leans down, and his voice is so low you almost don’t hear it. “I think it would look better on my floor.”

“Well…” you fight the grin on your face, delighting in the heat curling low within you. “I guess since you love me and we’re kissing again and aren’t exactly friends anymore… we could really put that statement to the test.” 

“I think we should,” he says, and leans down to kiss your neck. 

You hum in approval. “What about Ellie?”

“She had plans to go to Dina’s after the festival,” he says, between kisses. “Come over, please? Or do I need to send you a letter with a wax stamp and everythin’?”

“Well… since you said please, I guess that will do.”

The whole walk to his place he has his arm slung about your waist, proudly displaying that you’re his. 

You nuzzle yourself into his side, grateful for his warmth and companionship. Your heart feels so full, so light, as if you might actually drift up into the air. Thank god Joel is holding you to keep you grounded. 

You smile at Maria and Tommy when you pass by them, and they exchange a look that says something like Finally. 

Then you’re at his house, and he’s unlocking the door and letting you go in first. And this time when you’re welcomed inside, you’re no longer worrying about rules or how you feel, or how you might fuck this up. It’s so fucking freeing. 

Joel doesn’t ravish you the moment the door closes. Instead, he kind of just stares at you. 

You squirm under his attention, growing self conscious. “What?”

He smiles, hands gravitating to your hips. “Nothin’. I just love you.” 

You grin. “I love you too.” 

He kisses you again, and you don’t think you could ever get enough of it. You kisses you roughly against the door, hips colliding with yours, over and over, and soon enough you’re shaking with want. Mind muddled, whispering a single word into his ear, “Bedroom.” 

It feels different here this time. All those times in the past had felt restrained, now, everything feels exactly as it should. 

When before you used to strip down quickly just to get him inside you, this time, you both take your time. He carefully unwraps you like a present as he noses kisses down your throat. He peels your thick black sweater off, and slides the straps of your bra down your shoulders, his dark eyes locked with yours. Joel reaches behind you and undoes the clasp with ease. You can hardly hold back your shaky sigh. 

Your hands smooth over his sweater-clad chest before pulling it up and over his head. That jagged scar is there on his stomach, a reminder of everything he’s been through. You run your hand along it, and he shudders. 

“Sit down,” he says. 

You sit on the edge of the bed, and he kneels before you. Then, he grabs your boot-clad foot and sets it on his thigh. He undoes the laces and carefully takes the boot off. He does the other, and then hooks his fingers around your waistband and pulls it and your panties off together. 

“I was right,” he says. “It really does look better on my floor.” 

“You’re ridiculous,” you say, and pull him back into you. His lips catch yours gently, but the kiss intensifies when your mouth parts eagerly as his tongue swipes across the seam of your lips. His tongue slips in, and a moan tumbles out of you as your hands scrabble at his shoulder blades, your nails lightly scratching over thin scars.

His nose squishes against your cheek, and his large, hot hands slide up and down your body, like he just can’t keep them still. Like he wants to catalog all of you right now, remember it forever. 

He rocks against you, still confined in his jeans, but you can feel the hard shape of him brushing against your sensitive core, the friction incredibly delicious. Your hands find his button and zipper, undoing them both with as much concentration as you can muster, though it’s really difficult when he’s kissing you like you contain all of the world’s oxygen. 

Finally, he allows you to breathe, his beard scraping against the sensitive skin of your throat as he mouths hot kisses down your skin. He grips one of your thighs, setting it against his hip, large, rough fingers splaying across the whole of it. God, you love how easily you fit in his palms.

He grinds his hips into you over and over and you moan, aching for the feel of him inside you. You tug at his waistband again. “Joel, please take these off already.” 

“Not yet,” he says, and releases your leg, his hand skating across the skin of your thigh, brushing gently along, making you shudder in his hold. You can feel the warmth of his fingers as he nears where you want him most. 

And then, his fingers are on you, swirling in gentle circles, unraveling you at the seams. Your head hits the mattress and your back arches. He knows exactly what to do to make you putty in his hands, has had so much time to practice. But this time, it feels so much better, knowing now that he loves you. That you’re more than just friends. 

Your palms find his face and you pull him in for a slow, meaningful kiss, trying to tell him just how thankful you are for him. How glad you are that he loves you. How sorry you are for not letting him kiss you. It’s kind of hard to kiss him, though, when he’s making you feel this good. Your fingers curl into his hair, tugging at it, and he moans into your mouth. 

He slips one, two fingers inside you, pumping them at a steady pace that has your hands gripping his hair tightly and your hips scrabbling for that pleasant release dangling in front of you. He urges you on with encouraging, quiet words, his dark eyes boring into yours. Your mind, body, and soul feel hot.

When his thumb finds your clit it’s only moments until you’re shattering against him, warmth flooding your body. Your hips jerk, your legs shaking as he takes you over the edge. 

“Pants off. Now,” you huff between breaths, and he finally listens. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Then, he shifts you up the bed… it reminds you of the first time the two of you had sex again after he was so busy. So much the same yet so different. His hand moves up your body, cups one of your breasts, kneading it gently. When his thumb ghosts over your nipple, you shiver. 

“You’re so beautiful, darlin’,” he murmurs, and grasps your knee, pulling it over his hip. 

And then he’s sliding in, and the stretch is blissful, so welcome, so familiar and yet so new. You hold onto him, keeping him close as he begins to move. You feel full, mind faraway with bliss.

“God, Joel-“ you hiss. 

He groans out your name, and it rumbles through you like rolling thunder. Lightning lights a fuse at the end of your spine. 

You’re out of control. He tends to do that to you. Make you angry, make you sad, draw all the emotions you tend to not want to deal with out of you. Frustrates you, makes you so hungry with want that you throw all semblance of rational thought away. And he likes it. You like it. 

God, you love him so much. 

You move together as one, pushing and pulling. Everything shrinks down to just this. Him. You. Where your bodies meet. 

“More,” you moan, and he huffs out a laugh, but obliges, thrusting into you deeper, harder, and you’re as tight as a bowstring. 

Every anxious thought, every worry, every single doubt dissipates with every movement of his hips. You shift your own to meet his thrusts, and soon he’s gasping into your skin, growling your name. His hand winds into your hair, and he breathes with you, eyes locked with yours. 

“Come on, baby,” he murmurs. “Come for me.” 

Well, who are you to deny him? He pushes you over the edge in an instant, your body going taught, eyes rolling back into your head. His name flows out of you like a mantra.

Joel. Joel. Joel. Joel. 

“I love you,” he says into your throat when he follows you, hips jerking with sloppy thrusts as he comes inside you. 

Joel collapses next to you, pulling you into him, his arm slung heavily across your waist. When you can finally catch your breath, you say, “I love you, too.”

His grin is sated, eyes heavy when he pulls you in for another deep kiss. “We’ve said that a lot, huh?”

“Just making up for lost time. I think it’s alright.” 

“I should’ve said it a lot sooner,” he says, calloused fingers brushing against your cheek as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

“Me too. Telling you not to kiss me was really dumb.” 

“Probably not the smartest thing you’ve said.” 

You scoff in mock offense, pushing at his shoulder. “Asshole.” 

“Yeah, but you love me.”

You roll your eyes, but scoot further into him, laying your head on his chest. 

It might have been a risk to fall in love with your best friend, but God, you’re glad you did. 

“Yeah, I really do.”

[tkaulitzlvr]

hii, hope you’re doing well :) love your stories <3

ofc you absolutely don’t have to write this one if you don’t want to!

just had a lil thought of some form of enemies to lovers with tom (2009-11) where reader travels with the band on tour & etc & one night while they stay at a hotel somewhere reader is in the pool at night (in like a bikini or some form of swimwear) for like a midnight swim but at some point tom gets in as-well & it’s just them (they can have some bickering or whatever) but it would eventually result in them doing it in the pool 🤭

again you don’t have to do this one if you don’t want to buy i just thought i would ask :)

ty for reading!!

LATE NIGHT - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: you and tom had never got on well, some unresolved tension meaning the two of you always clashed. so, when you decide to go for a late night swim alone, what will happen when tom has the exact same idea?

content: angst & smut

a/n: omggg this might be my fav request i’ve ever gotten so thank u sm anon, literally screamed when it came thru this whole scenario is so perfect, as u can imagine i enjoyed every second of writing this, hope u enjoy!!

the night is warm, this totally expected for august in southern spain, where tokio hotel were for this part of their world tour. adjusting to the different climates that i experience around the world is something i am yet to get used to, even after coming with the band since they had started accumulating the fans to warrant travelling from country to country to perform. one day, i would be in somewhere in russia, completely submerged in blankets and still cold, then the next, i would be met with the sweltering warmth of southern europe, overheating despite my clear lack of clothing, only my bra and panties covering me. but tonight, the heat was unbearable, my body sweating no matter what position i tried to fall asleep in.

the rhythmic ticking of the small clock situated on the wall in front of me didn’t help - the sound seeming to get louder each time, the time that it displays reminding me that i should be sleeping. but, i know that it isn’t going to happen anytime soon, sitting up frustratedly with a loud sigh.

i stand up, walking toward the large glass doors leading to my balcony, pushing one open slightly so that i can squeeze through. it is even hotter outside, my body being hit by an intense surge of heat as i step onto the balcony, nearing the edge. my arms rest on the railing, eyes taking in the view in front of me - thousands of lights in each direction from the city ahead. however this doesn’t catch my attention as my eyes fall to the large pool below, a decent sized jacuzzi built into it. it is empty, the body of water completely still, small lights around it’s exterior giving away its tranquility. it could cool me down - there’s no way i’m falling asleep with my body this hot.

my feet turn on their heels, stepping back inside my room, closing the glass door behind me as i head to the small walk in closet in the corner. my hands fumble around, fingers finally touching the small bikini that i am looking for. i take it out, stripping from my clothes, before slipping on the skimpy red bikini, tying my hair in a loose bun. i take a towel from the bathroom, sliding on the first pair of sandals i see, before quietly exiting my hotel room and walking to the elevator, entering it as it is expectedly empty.

the elevator doors slide open as i am met with the empty lobby, the receptionist being the only person in sight. i give her a small nod, walking outside to the pool area. as i near closer, i sigh in relief, seeing that it is still empty, placing my towel on a random lounger. i slide my shoes off beside it, walking towards the pool. testing the temperature, i dip my toes in, shivering slightly at the coldness, the feeling relieving me as i already feel myself cool down. deciding that it is fine to get in, i allow my whole body to slip into the water, my head staying above as i begin to swim over to the shallow end, finally stopping once i reach the edge.

my eyes glance over to the jacuzzi just a few metres away, contemplating whether it would be a better option than the pool. it would certainly make me sleepier, and, reminding myself of how late it is, i decide to get in, quickly stepping out of the pool and climbing into the jacuzzi. the water is much warmer, bubbles emerging from beneath as i take a seat, my entire body relaxing. i feel myself becoming tired as i spread out, laying my head backwards and resting it on the edge. my eyes gaze aimlessly at the stars above, feeling completely content, the water removing any tension in my body as i continue to watch the sky.

but, it only takes a few minutes for my head to whip upwards, becoming quickly alert as i hear footsteps nearing the pool, wondering who else would want to be here this late into the night.

i squint a little, trying to make out the silhouette , an audible groan escaping my lips once it enters the light, letting me work out who it is. broad shoulders, slim yet muscular frame, lips adorned with a single metal piercing - i could recognise him from anywhere. the familiar jet black braids move toward me, a confused expression taking over his face once he spots me.

“the fuck are you doing here?” he asks, setting his towel down and pulling his t-shirt off, revealing his perfectly formed abs, muscles in his biceps flexing as he does so. he was hot, but i hated him, his attractiveness only making me despise him more. after my gaze lingers on his torso for a couple seconds, i look upwards, seeing that he is still focused on me, waiting for a response as he walks towards the jacuzzi.

i roll my eyes, beginning to get up, not willing to engage in any conversation with him right now, especially one in which no one else is involved, the atmosphere already tense.

“doesn’t matter. i’ll go.” i say, standing up, water dripping from my body. his eyes scan my figure, tongue poking from his lips slightly as he messes with his lip piercing, drinking in every curve, my boobs admittedly almost spilling out of my bikini top. yet i didn’t care when i had put it on, not expecting to see anyone else at the pool, let alone tom. his eyes still glued to my cleavage, i scoff, putting one foot out of the jacuzzi.

“my eyes are up here, perv.” i remark as he finally removes his gaze from my chest, a small laugh leaving his lips.

“don’t flatter yourself sweetheart.” he states, stepping into the jacuzzi, sitting down as the water covers most of his body, the top of his chest still on show. he stretches his arms out to the side of him, resting them on the edge, tilting his head to the side before continuing. “why are you leaving?”

“cause i know you’ll piss me off. you already are.” i respond, standing beside the water, preparing to walk away.

“really? don’t be so dramatic. get in.” he says, lifting one hand up and motioning to the empty space in the jacuzzi opposite him, his eyes not leaving mine.

“i’ll pass. have fun tom.” i say sarcastically, finding my towel on the lounger, wrapping it around my small frame, now shivering from the lack of warmth the water had brought me.

“you know, to say you’re the most stubborn person i know.” he starts, his tongue running across his bottom lip. “you’re leaving pretty fast. how come you’re letting me win so easily?”

i stop in my tracks, turning around to face him, wondering why he is so eager for me to stay.

“why do you care?” i question, my expression turning sour.

“i don’t.” he shrugs. “just don’t understand why you’re in a rush to leave. you’re not scared of me, are you?”

i scoff at his question, noting the way he is trying to get under my skin, and, much to my frustration, it is working. i know that if i leave, that means i have let him win. and, he is right. i am stubborn. it is this fact that prompts me to turn around, throwing the towel off of my body as i walk towards the jacuzzi, hesitantly getting back into it as a satisfied grin spreads across tom’s face.

“scared my ass.” i mutter, shaking my head as i fold my arms, irritated by his ability to anger me from the smallest of words.

“hm? sorry, didn’t catch that. you gotta speak up.” he taunts, tilting his head as he raises his eyebrows, a knowing smirk tugging on his lips. he stretches his arms out further as they rest against the stone decorating the edge of the water, adjusting his position and getting comfy, awaiting my response.

“just shut up. jesus fucking christ.” i scold, facing away from him, tempted to get up and leave once again. but i can’t give him that satisfaction, so i stay put, a tense silence between us as he surprisingly listens to me.

my body jolts upwards in shock, feeling his foot brush against mine from underneath the water as he sinks further into it. i make eye contact, scowling at him as he holds his hands up in defense.

“sorry.” he mumbles, his body slowly drifting closer towards mine. i ignore it, letting my head fall backwards, attempting to relax, figuring that if i am stuck here with him, i may as well try to make the experience as comfortable as it can be.

but the second his leg brushes against mine, with too much force to be unintentional, it is clear that his previous movement was definitely not an accident. i look at him, seeing that he has moved much closer, now to the left of me, instead of directly opposite me as he previously was. i stay quiet, trying to pay no attention to his presence despite the noticeable feeling of his eyes burning into my figure.

“red looks good on you.” he says into the silence, my eyebrows furrowing in disbelief, unable to fall for his attempt at complimenting me.

“what?” i ask, now turning to face him, his eyes dark.

“you know what i said.” he states confidently, gaze never leaving mine as his teeth momentarily sink into his bottom lip.

his body inches closer to mine as my own is frozen in place, unable to move or even comprehend what is happening. his finger grazes the knot of my costume from beneath the water, slipping underneath the material briefly before playing with the hem of my bikini bottoms, my hips jolting a little at his touch. he smirks at my reaction, removing his fingers and watching the way my face drops, partly in disappointment.

he sees the desperation in my eyes, dipping his head downwards so that his lips are just below my ear.

“you know you don’t hate me at much as you let out.” he whispers, his breath tickling my neck as i feel him smile against it, goosebumps beginning to form over the skin.

my mouth parts open, no sound escaping from it as my chest rises and falls at a faster pace, completely flustered by his words. he can clearly see this, humming lowly as his face remains inches away from my neck, his slow breathing fanning over it.

“in fact…” he begins, his lips brushing over the skin as he dips his head further downwards. “i don’t think you hate me at all, do you?”

i say nothing, breath hitching once his lips finally make contact with my neck, planting slow, open-mouthed kisses over it. my hands find the back of his head, fingers playing with his dreads as i push him further into me, his kisses become sloppy, his teeth grazing over the skin.

“knew you always had something for me, sweetheart.” he teases, hands grabbing the flesh of my thighs as he uses them to guide my body, placing me on his lap. my chest is now out of the water, lower half completely submerged as it sits on top of him, faces inches apart.

he takes my lack of response as an invitation to continue, attaching his lips to mine in a rough and sloppy kiss. i waste no time in kissing back, overcome with an unforeseen desperation, my hatred for him fuelling desire from within me that had never been ignited - not like this. but i used my anger towards him, keeping it as a motive to kiss him harder, pressing my lips harsher into his. he groans into my mouth, his hands finding my ass as he kneads the flesh, using it to push my hips against his, my lips faltering against him.

the heat around me from the warmth of the night is now nothing compared to the one spreading between my legs, my need for tom only growing as i begin to create my own slow rhythm on his lap, grinding so that his clothed dick, which i can feel hardening beneath me, hits my clit perfectly.

my head falls backwards, unable to kiss back as my hips continue to work against his. his lips find my chest, biting and sucking on the parts of my breasts exposed, my nipples hardening under the fabric of my bikini. he sees this, his fingers running over them as i shudder. his hands reach to undo the knot holding my bikini in place, about to tug on it before i protest.

“you can’t…” i breathe out, not slowing my movements. “someone could see.”

“but they won’t.” he states, keeping his head against my chest, hands staying on my back. “you just have to stay close to me, yeah?”

he tugs on the material, watching as the top half of my bikini falls off, revealing my chest to him. a smirk spreads across his face as he takes it all in, hands cupping my boobs as he squeezes them a little, a low whine falling from my lips in response.

“so fucking hot.” he breathes out, detaching his hands from my breasts, moving them to my back and pulling my chest so it is flush against his. “see? no one but me gets to see. exactly how it should be.”

he whispers the last part as i roll my eyes, becoming visibly impatient. he picks up on this, bucking his hips as i rest my hands on his chest, lifting myself off of him as he takes off his trunks, letting them rest at his knees, not bothering to remove them fully. he moves my panties to the side, the water rushing to my heat as i shudder a little.

he strokes himself a few times, positioning himself at my entrance. “you sure?”

his hands rest on my lower back, looking upwards at me, his expression strangely concerned, my consent mattering to him way more than i had first anticipated. i nod my head, letting out a confident ‘yes’.

that is enough for him as he slowly pushes inside of me, the water giving a foreign feeling as my thighs clench. he lets out a long groan, watching the way my mouth falls open, eyes screwing shut. i feel his tip bottom out inside of me, my walls stretched out further than they ever had been, none of the guys that i had been with being as big as tom. though the discomfort soon subsides, my face twisting in pressure as i nod slowly, giving him the green light as he begins to thrust upwards into me at a steady pace.

“where did the stubbornness go, hm?” he teases, knowing that my entire body is there for him to ruin, long past the point when i would argue with him. “thought i pissed you off, doesn’t look like it right now.”

i let out a loud moan, that the only sound i am able to make as he is hitting angles that have never been felt before, no one ever able to make me feel like this. hell, if i had known his dick was this good, i would’ve stopped hating him years ago. his tip brushes against my sensitive spot, my walls clenching around him as i squeeze my lips shut, trying to stay quiet as i silently remind myself of where we are - anyone able to catch us right now.

“you like that, huh?” he asks, repeatedly hitting the spot over and over as i bury my face into his shoulder, biting it roughly to keep the moans at bay, feeling them dangerously close in the back of my throat. “don’t hide those pretty moans, wanna hear them baby.”

his hands push me away from his shoulder, my head now upright as i can no longer contain my moans, letting them pour from my lips, tom nodding his head slowly.

desperate to reach my climax, i meet his thrusts, hips rotating in an attempt to increase the friction. this clearly has as much of an effect on tom as it does me, his head tilting backwards as he lets out a low groan.

“just like that baby. fuck- yeah, keep going.” he praises, this only fuelling my stamina, his thrusts becoming slow and weak as he lets me do most of the work.

the knot in my stomach tightens, so much that i know i cannot hold on any longer. tom’s hands squeeze my waist, fingers and nails digging in, the slight pain mixed with pleasure turning me on even more.

“getting close.” i manage to say, bringing my lips to messily collide with his, my movements sloppy and uneven. he kisses back, groaning into my mouth as he slips his tongue in. he starts thrusting upwards at a rapid pace, my ability to kiss back faltering as i feel him twitch inside of me.

“me too. cum with me, yeah?” he says against my lips, one harsh thrust into me all it takes for me to come undone, feeling him shoot his load into me. he moves in and out slowly, fucking it into me, his teeth firmly sinking into his lip as his eyebrows knit together. i collapse into his chest, breathing fast and shallow as my entire body shakes, his thrusts coming to a stop, yet he remains inside of me. his lips lazily kiss my shoulder, hands rubbing my back.

“why didn’t we do that sooner, hm?”

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[dark-and-kawaii]

With the way you write Haarlep, I can just picture them being blindsided by Tav giving them aftercare (because we all know that Raphael doesn't) or tending to their injuries after Raphael "disciplines" them. Like after Raphael punishes Haarlep for acting a little too familiar with Tav, she takes one look at the incubus and is doing what she can to make it better. Nothing sensual (at least not intentionally on Tav's part), just honest to goodness tenderness. I'd love to read a thingy about that.

༺ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐮𝐛𝐮𝐬 ༻

Soft Haarlep Prt. 2

I just want to say thank you for sending in this request because this has became one of my favorites I’ve written!!!! I really hope you enjoy it ◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞!!! and would love to hear your feedback!!! I made this as a sequel to the previous Haarlep request!!!

Angst - Comfort - Injuries

- PRT 1 (Click Here) - PRT 3 (Click Here) - PRT 4 (Click Here)

Ao3

Haarlep lay on the ground, battered and bruised, their throat burning from the punishment inflicted by Raphael. You were discarded like rotten flesh in the corner, your skin adorned with fresh bruises, your hair matted… And the rest of your body… Well that didn’t really matter because you did beg Raphael to spare Haarlep. Which he did in his own sick twisted way. Haarlep, that’s what mattered at this very moment. Summoning the strength within you to rise from the ground to tend to them, that’s what mattered.

The moment your hand touched Haarlep's cheek, they felt a mixture of surprise and a flicker of warmth amidst their pain. Your thumb gingerly tracing over their cracked lip, and with a soft voice, you spoke, "Don’t move, okay?” Your eyes were filled with sadness, not for your own pain, but for theirs, “I'll be right back." You then proceeded to stand back up on two wobbly legs, Haarlep could see the struggle… It reminded them of a freshly born Nightmare foal -horses of the hell realm- learning to stand for the first time. Just as you were about to lose your balance and collide with the cool unforgiving ground, Haarlep interjected. Their tail pressing against you to help keep you steady for a moment.

Mouthing thanks to them, you make your way to the center of the room where the bath was. You grabbed the nearest cloth, dampened it, and returned to Haarlep's side. With gentle care, you pressed the cloth against the bruises on their neck and their tender skin. Haarlep's tail, instinctively swishing back and forth, reflecting their initial amusement at the irony of a vulnerable mortal attending to them, an incubus whose very nature was one of darkness and desire.

"How utterly amusing," Haarlep began with a weak chuckle, trying to mask their inner bewilderment. "The crippled mouse tending to the cat that led it to its own demise." The familiar playfulness of Haarlep’s nature collided with the unfamiliar tenderness they felt towards you. They couldn't fathom why you would show such kindness to them

Your eyes brimmed with tears, your lips trembling as you fought back a cry. Witnessing their cracked lip bleed, a single tear cascaded down your cheek, "I'm so sorry, Haarlep. This is my fault," you whispered, your voice trembling with genuine remorse.

A laugh escaped Haarlep's lips, but this time, it lacked mockery. It held traces of vulnerability, an acknowledgment of the empathy that defied their role. "Ha! What a perplexing situation," Haarlep smiled, their tone still of his nature but with a tinged of newfound sincerity. “What am I to do with such a fragile little thing.” Their hand embracing your chin gently as their head cocks to the side, their fiery eyes still locked onto you, “Why stay and tend to a fiendish creature like myself, who hails from the very depths of the hells?" It was only for a fleeting second, but Haarlep’s fingers kissed your chin with a tender caress just before their hand fell back on their knee.

Your sullen gaze softened as you continued to tend to their wounds, your hand unwavering, "You're trapped here, aren't you? Bound and alone," you said softly, your voice carrying an unmistakable truth, "No one deserves to be alone, not even an incubus."

Haarlep sat in the silence watching you. Despite the darkness that surrounded you, your kindness and understanding had silenced Haarlep. They didn’t know what to say nor do, it was the first time they’ve ever experienced such a gentle and pure soul even after Raphael’s assault. Your body was more broke than even Haarlep’s yet you sought to comfort them first…

Haarlep's tail, a physical extension of their emotions, gently moved to rest against your thigh. Their unspoken way of saying thank you, expressing the depths of gratitude best they could.

Taking notice of the feeling of Haarlep’s tail, your eyes wander towards it. Placing your hand atop of their tail, symbolizing acceptance, “I won’t leave your side, I promise Haarlep.” With that, Haarlep decided to bask in the comfort of your touch, their eyes closing as you pressed the damp cloth to their temple.

[hyuneskkami]

✮⋆˙ 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄

⤷ percy jackson x emma (@riordanness)

masterlist | event m.list

♡ fandom | percy jackson and the olympians

♡ includes | songfic (sort of), joining luke, luke calling you by a nickname and being understanding (overall we get nice luke), betrayal, little fluff to angst, hurt with no comfort, swords, daggers, very mini fight scene, overall sadness, altering the timeline of the book a bit

♡ in which | emma has to betray percy in the tlt timeline (includes spoilers for whoever hasn’t read chapter 22 of tlt)

♡ a/n | omggg, I was on a writing hiatus, but this got me out of that slump fr. emercy are goals <33 anywayyy my heart hurts after writing emercy angst so I WILL make up for it by writing emercy fluff at some point (hopefully during the event itself).. enjoy this one tho!!

♡ wc | 1.02k

✮⋆˙ emma’s pov

it had been a long day after percy returned to camp, glorious, after his quest. after all, that’s what all demigods thirsted for: δόξα. glory.

as soon as my eyes met his, I practically ran into him. we toppled over because of all of the unexpected force, and he just laid there below me, holding me gently.

pressing kisses to my forehead and my cheeks. running his fingers through my hair. smiling at me, and taking me in.

“all right, lovebirds! chiron and the others want to talk to him too,” grover’s voice rang out from above us.

snapping out of my hazy dream-come-true, I get up slowly and reach my hand down for percy.

“hey princess,” he whispered, still holding me close, after he stood up.

“hey handsome…”

I loved having him in my arms, memorising the feel of his hands around my waist, his lips against mine. who knows when I’d get to feel it again, if ever?

✮⋆˙ percy’s pov

her eyes, hollow. smiles, forced.

what happened to her in the days I was gone?

timeskip

✮⋆˙ emma’s pov

as the campfire was dying, empty mugs of cocoa and packets of marshmallows lay in the trash bag behind the logs.

will and his siblings sang beautiful songs, played music, as all the campers joined in.

percy and I were huddled together on a log, warmth radiating off each other.

everyone said their ‘goodnight’s and ‘sweet dreams’ knowing well and good none of us would sleep without nightmares.

“wanna turn in for the night?” percy asked, pulling me up from our log.

I smiled at him and nod. we walk to cabin 3. he offers me a hoodie and I remain in my denim shorts, ready to leave as soon as he falls asleep.

we plop onto his bed, and he tells me everything about his quest, as I take him in. at one point, we begin cuddling as he continues talking.

“hey, perce?”

“mhm.”

“I love you. you’ll remember that forever, won’t you?”

“‘course I will. I know you do. I love you forever too, and I hope to find you in elysium, my love… you’re never leaving me, are you?”

“of course not, dumbass.”

scattered ‘cross my family line…

i’m so good at telling lies…

that came from my mother’s side…

told a million to survive…

“good. I don’t think I could go a day without you there to stop me from stapling my finger by mistake again.”

I let out a sudden laugh. “oh, what about that other time you-”

“I completely made a fool out of myself in front of everyone by tripping over air? whatever,” he rolled his eyes.

sometimes, I wish my mortal father hadn’t taught me to hide my sadness so well. too well. I suppose he did do a good job, at the end of the day.

timeskip

with one last look at percy’s sleeping form—oh, so peaceful and beautiful, my baby—I stepped out of the cabin with our picture frame from percy’s bedside, weighing heavy in my bag. my hair whipped around my face because of the wind, right outside cabin 3. I turned to luke, waiting for me. I noted a hint of sadness in his eyes as well.

scattered ‘cross my family line…

god, I have my father’s eyes…

but my sister’s when I cry…

“luke, please. I don’t know if I can do this,” I whispered, eyes burning with the fire of a thousand suns–bright enough to illuminate his face.

“we can’t stop now, em. not after we’ve worked so hard, for so long. we can’t let it all go to waste. I didn’t want you to do this with me either, because I know he could hate me with ease after a while, but you? never. he could never look at you with anything other than love, and i’m sorry I have to take you away from that,” luke said, with glistening eyes.

quietly, I nodded, not trusting my voice to not shake. luke looked in the direction of cabin 6, and turned to walk towards the portal. I followed him, as we walk into the woods.

I can run, but I can’t hide…

from my family line…

from my family line…

“i’m sorry, perce. I love you,” I whispered into the wind.

“then why are you leaving me?” a voice shook behind me, just as we reached the portal.

I turned around sharply.

“percy?”

“princ— emma. why?”

oh, all that I did to try to undo it…

all of my pain and all your excuses…

“it’s… a long story,” I hardened my gaze. “we’re done. i’m sorry.” if this was going to work, he had to hate me. hate me from the bottom of his heart. hate me enough to be able to send me to the depths of tartarus, if needed.

“are you stupid?– hey! luke! get away from her!” he yelled. luke and I moved closer to each other as my cold gaze rested on percy’s face. I registered the betrayal and hurt in his eyes, my heart breaking with every emotion flickering across his face. his face morphed into something emotionless, all of a sudden.

I was a kid but I wasn’t clueless…

someone who loves you wouldn’t do this…

“you know what, emma?” he spat. “I can no longer recognize you. and that’s not even the saddest part. it’s the fact that you no longer make any attempt to make me understand you.”

“for the daughter of the goddess of love, I clearly have none of it left to give,” I said, unsheathing my sword. luke’s backbiter glowed faintly behind me.

percy looked alarmed for a second, but took out annabeth’s dagger, startling luke.

they swung at each other, as I stood there. nicking at one another’s body. I rushed in to help luke, so we could escape soon. my face was in the middle of a swing percy sent luke’s way, and his dagger slid down my face.

oh, I deserved that.

all of my past, I tried to erase it…

but now I see, would I even change it…?

[flwrstqr]

POLAROID MEMORIES EVENT — an enhypen collab by @lilacnini & @nishions .

# ABOUT — as the embrace of spring envelops the earth, it beckons forth a season adorned with love and beauty. with a quarter of the year tenderly tucked away, memories, like delicate petals, unfurl, weaving together moments shared with cherished ones. The memories of dates, laughter echoing through time, and the gentle caress of affection intertwine to form warmth and nostalgia. Spring, with its soft whispers of renewal, unfurls a new chapter, inviting us to wander through the gardens of cherished memories once more.

# NOTE — new collab with @nishions, or liz!! im so excited to see everyone's works and ideas into this beautiful collab project! i hope everyone enjoys it <3

GUIDELINES —

ONE. STATUS —all entries are full

TWO. to participate, please send an ask to either liz (@nishions) or nini (@lilacnini) with your chosen member and the two keywords that are hidden in the rules. there will be two slots available for each member (excluding me and liz's pieces) please like & reblog this post to help boost this. first keyword is nostalgia

THREE. your work must have synopsis, genre, warnings, and word count before the main content. works with over 500 words must have a read more cut. use the tag "# ⋆.˚nin-liz event" in the first five tags for both me and liz to find it. you may either tag me or liz in your work as an alternative method.

FOUR. the written piece may be a oneshot, timestamp, long fic, and etc. (if writing any timestamp, it must be 400+ word count) and must be member x reader or member x oc. no drabbles, thoughts, series, or smaus!

FIVE. theme of this event is memories of being together. this can be in any form like angst or fluff. it can be any moment as well, but note to keep it sfw. second keyword is love.

SIX. please submit your work by 11 MAY 2024! drop outs are 30 APR 2024

SEVEN. plagiarism is strictly prohibited & will not be tolerated.

EIGHT. strictly no smut. suggestive or mature themes (death, violence, substance use, etc.) are not permitted. no racism, ableism, homophobia or similar prejudices. you will be removed from the collab.

NINE. please don’t be afraid to reach out to either of us if you have any questions or concerns! have fun writing !!

SLOTS & FICS — ENTRIES IN RED MEANS THEY'RE FULL

HEESEUNG · @lilacnini @enhasver

JAY · (2 person claimed but not finished)

JAKE · (2 person claimed, but not finished)

SUNGHOON · (2 ppl claimed, but not finished)

SUNOO · @stariikis (1 person claimed but not finished)

JUNGWON · @wonifullove

RIKI · @nishions @ms-no1kpopstan

O1. PAINTING DAY - LHS (@lilacnini)

you have many favorite moments with heeseung but your favorite is especially when you paint your boyfriend's nails for fun

O2. LUCKY GIRL - KSN (@stariikis

sure, you're already well known as enhypen member kim sunoo's girlfriend, but that doesn't hinder the thrill of tossing a coin and landing on heads when sunoo chooses you, in the midst of the crowd.

O3. PRIZE - LHS ( @enhasver)

you have lots of memories with your boyfriend heeseung, but one of the most cherished memories that you hold dear with your boyfriend heeseung is the day when you both visited the amusement park.

O4. STRANGERS - NRK ( @ms-no1kpopstan)

you break up with your ex and soon meet a stranger who comforts you throughout the night. but that stranger would be your "future" boyfriend, riki.

O5. THE BOY I LOVE BEFORE - YJW ( @wonifullove)

you discover the gifts your ex once gifted you on every date

[licorice-tea]

When The Tide Comes Out

Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x reader

Content: angst, fluff, h/c kind of… also kissing😽

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: first time writing about Ace!! also i LOVE orville peck and this scenario just fit perfectly with this part of his song, “Blush”! Ace is so like… cowboy adjacent, too, so i think this kind of music is fitting for him! please enjoy and lmk what you think <3

There’s something ‘bout men that I don’t understand

You never would know how Ace did it. The constant solo traveling, having to find a new place to sleep every night, and not knowing where home is. Because, well, his home is a ship. He’s brave and responsible enough to take care of himself- you know that much- but still…

It’s a lifestyle that makes no sense to you.

On the other hand, you’ve never been one to stray far from home. You prefer to stay on your island, only going on the occasional vacation with family or friends. Still, you’ll always know where to come back to when the fun is over. And even then; you’re surrounded by people who carry the same feeling of comfort as your bed would.

Ace doesn’t have that. And he doesn’t seem to need it, either. He races around the globe in search of revenge. He calls it justice, but when you see the fire in his eyes- normally so full of warmth and comfort- you’re confused. It’s a scary look, one that you’d hate to ever see directed towards yourself. But, Ace could never direct such rage toward you. He barely gets to see you, why waste any time on bitter feelings?

Yet, he always leaves you. You’ve opened your door to him countless times; told him he was welcome to stay for as long as he wants. And every time, he chooses to leave after a night or two.

They’re always leaving wherever they’ve been

For what must be the hundredth time, you walk Ace to your front gate. You live in a nice rural area near the beach, and your front yard has its own garden and fish pond. It’s picturesque, and a home that most people (couples, specifically) could only dream of owning someday.

He hugs you tightly, burying his face in your hair with no shame.

“I miss you already.”

“Then stay.”

Ace shakes his head, surely messing up your styling, before he pulls back to face you. “You know I can’t.”

A thought tries to escape your mind, but your lips press together after a second thought. His hands brush a strand from your cheek- and you let him for a moment- but then you catch his wrist. “But you can, Ace.”

Brush it off with a shrug, I don’t know much about love

He sighs and a wince passes over his features; as if he’s in pain. “Let’s not do this right now, baby, please.”

“Don’t you baby me, Ace. You leave me alone for months on end and- and what? I’m supposed to just be content with seeing you for a few weeks out of the whole year?”

“… I’m sorry, I really am.”

This time, you’re the one to sigh and shake your head with a pained expression. “No it’s… I know what you’re doing is important to you.”

“But you’re important to me, too. You’re where home is.” The sentiment squeezes your heart- it feels like it’s about to burst.

“I know.” You try and offer a smile, so at least your last few moments together for god knows how log will be happy ones.

He laughs dryly at your obviously forced smile. Ace feels like he’s failing you, in all honesty, with no solution or viable compromise that will suit both his career as a pirate and the love he wishes to continue growing with you. “I’m not doing too great at this, am I?”

“You’re doing your best.” You pull him back in for another hug, and whisper against him. “I love you, Ace.”

He smiles into your neck. “I love you too.”

Still I give it a try now and then

You’re the first one to let go, pushing him away gently. “Go, before I try and stop you.”

His smile is strained, yet still bright and handsome. “I’ll come back sooner next time, okay?”

“You better. Or else I might have to find a replacement.”

Ace laughs and you giggle along with him. “Nah, I’m not too worried about that.” He presses a sweet kiss into your lips. “I mean it though. I want to make this work, and I want to be here with you.”

This time around, your smile is more genuine. “Then I can’t wait.”

Your hands turn his hips away from you as you playfully push him out the gate and toward the beach. “Now go so you can hurry back!”

The two of you laugh as you run down to where his raft is stationed on the shoreline.

Saddle up and ride on down

“You have my vivre card?”

“Mhm,” you pull it out of your pocket, “and you have mine?”

Ace lifts his hat to show you the card stitched onto it. “Always.”

He pushes the small boat out of the sand, and it floats in place. It’s powered by his own devil fruit, so there’s no concern of it drifting away without its owner. Who, as he turns back to you, gives you a look of longing. After a moment his face moves closer to yours, so you’re both smiling softly and nearly connected at the lips. Ace grips your waist and kisses you. It’s more passionate this time, and full of all the love and desire he has for you that he can fit into one action.

You huff in amusement. “Be safe.”

Ace nods. “I will.”

Maybe when the tide comes out

With reluctance, Ace releases his hold on your sides and wades in the shallow water. First he throws his bag on it, then lifts himself onto the deck of the Striker.

You wave goodbye, and he waves back. Theres a halo of sunlight cast from behind his dark curls and broad shoulders. Then, with a few sparks so as to get further from you and not accidentally burn you, the Striker moves further into the rising water. The realization that it’s high tide washes over you much like the waves themselves. You’re soaked up to your knees by now, but it’s no matter. You would swim across the whole ocean if only to get closer to him.

Ace and the Striker grow smaller and smaller in the distance, but you can still see his arm waving high in the air. You wave back with equal zeal, hopping up and down. His shouts of “I love you!” and “I’ll see you soon!” grow quieter, so you’re not even entirely sure when he stops.

Eventually, once he’s out of your field of vision, you turn back. You walk the same path up the beach- 2 pairs of footsteps still visible in the sand from your trip down to the shore just moments before.

Without your lover’s laughter in your ears, the creak of the gate is nearly deafening.

[deepestnightcolor]

Hi! I love your writing and how you picture Sam 💛 Could I make a request? Like Sam taking the farmer to Zuzu City? Could be something romantic? Something else 👀 Sam sharing part of his past maybe? It's up to you, thank you 💖

ᴀ/ɴ: Hehe...So I can explain, really! No, I can't really. I don't know what happened here, my fingers had a mind of their own and this just happened! I hope you will enjoy! Thank you so, so much for your request and the compliment <3 I love writing Sammy Wammy!

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Sam (SDV) x GN!Reader

ᴡᴄ: 2608 words

ᴍᴅɴɪ ✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: trauma, angst, daddy issues(?) THERE'S ALSO FLUFF AND SOFTNESS!

☾ ʙʟɪɴᴅɪɴɢ ʟɪɢʜᴛꜱ ☽

He was fidgeting next to you in his bus seat, and he had been for the last half an hour, worsening the closer the two of you got to Zuzu City. It was either his leg bouncing up and down, or his fingers wandering through his hair, just to comb it back into place moments later. Every now and then he shifted around on the seat as he tried to get comfortable, just to return to bouncing his leg.

You had been watching Sam, your hand wrapped around his, thumb rubbing soothing circles into the skin. You had rarely ever seen him so nervous. Energetic, yes, but this was pure and simple nervousness. Still, you hadn’t dared to ask about it just now, knowing that he would tell you about it when he was ready.

“Oh, look, a baby cow!” You called out, leading your intertwined hands to the window to point at the passing baby animal. A chuckle rumbled from next to you, a pair of blue eyes being mirrored by the window. “Like you don’t have some running around your farm almost every year?” He teased back, making you smile at his reflection. “Well, you see me almost every day and still get excited like a lovesick puppy when you see me, don’t you?” Another chuckle, lighter than the first one had been. His chin found its way on your shoulder so he could follow the blur of scenery with you; his voice now incredibly close to your ear. “Guilty as charged and yet blameless,” he murmured against the shell of your ear, pressing a soft kiss to it, falling back into his seat.

Sam had surprised you with his wish to go to Zuzu City pretty much the evening before. He wanted to show you something, he had explained. Refresh some memories, maybe. He had been very vague in his reasoning, but the look in his eyes had told you everything you needed to know; that he needed you there with him. And who were you to refuse your Sammy boy? You had gotten up a little earlier than usual to care for all the animals, even early enough to get under the shower and throw on a fresh change of clothes before meeting Sam at the bus stop. He hadn’t been nervous then, but there had been a rubber band around his hand, which meant there was something he didn’t want to forget. Instead of asking him, you had pressed a kiss to his lips, enjoying his bubbly conversation as you got on the bus. However, his flow of words had slowly begun to cease the further you had gone from Pelican Town, and instead, his nervous fidgeting had picked up.

“Look, Zuzu.” His words were barely audible. A mere whisper, almost drowning in the sound of the growling motor. Still, you had heard it, and you had looked ahead to see the city building up in the distance. The sight always filled you with a feeling of dread and thankfulness. Memories of Joja cooperate bleeding into the feeling of hope you had when you took the leap and started your journey to become a farmer. You were pretty certain these conflicted feelings would have an impact on your voice as well, but Sam’s was filled with a hint of fear, an edge of respect. It made you wrap your arm around him, press a kiss to his cheek. Whispering “You’ll be fine, I am here,” in his ear. Sam gave you a smile of gratitude, almost shooting up from his seat when the bus came to a halt.

Hesitation kept him in place, but then his hand reached out for yours again, only moving forward when he felt the warmth of your palm against his, and how your fingers ghosted over his skin. He wordlessly took the bag you had brought, shouldering it while the two of you hopped off the bus.

There was no need to ask the blond what you would do now; his long legs set a fast pace, leaving you no other option but to follow. You stumbled through streets that you had once known and that seemed to be natural to Sam. He weaved the two of you through the onslaught of pedestrians, working against the flow like he had never done anything that wasn’t this. Every five steps he looked over his shoulder to check if you were still following him, as if his hand didn’t hold you to him like a leash. Not that you minded, quite the contrary; While Sam seemingly had no problem navigating through the masses of bodies, through the twists and turns of the city, you certainly weren’t used to this anymore.  It was loud and fast and felt like everyone was pulling you away from your beloved, like they were tugging at you. Too many bodies, too much noise, and you could have sworn that the two of you were getting lost in the city’s gaping mouth- until you weren’t.

Sam had abruptly halted in front of an apartment complex, his eyes searching the rows of windows for a particular one. Suddenly, his hand flew forward, pointer finger leading your gaze to a window that seemed like all the others, but had the man’s finger trembling. “That’s…That’s where it all started.”

If this had been a video game, you would have been sure that any moment now a soft soundtrack would start playing, underlining the impact that this place had taken on Sam, but also pointing out the trust he must feel toward you to be sharing this with you right now.

“We were living here. That was the window to my room – if you squint closely, you can still see the imprints my stickers have left on the window…I put them there when mom wasn’t looking. We didn’t get them off- not until we moved, anyway. When we moved they complied almost immediately. It felt hopeless when I peeled them off. Like the last act of rebellion was giving in…”

He bit around his lower lip, obviously considering if he should go on. Really share this with you. What if you thought he was weird? Melodramatic? But then there were your words. So soft, so understanding. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me…But I am here. To listen. To support you.” Since there wasn’t any music, you pressed around his hand, trying to underline how serious you were. It seemed enough for your boyfriend.

“We moved around a lot, you know? And I always…Ya know, I always was the class clown in school, but that didn’t mean I had many friends,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, “moving around a lot meant changing schools a lot. And this… this was the first place I erm…I felt good to be at. I didn’t feel completely hopeless when entering like I did everywhere else. We got settled here. Mom really worked on making this place our place. It felt like…Yes, like we would settle. Even my grades got better, hah! I don’t think I ever got grades that high again.” His knuckles turned white with how hard he was holding on to his backpack strap, the fond smile that had been adorning his lips now a bitter grimace. “It was summer. Hot and loud, like today. I think Vince was about three when we got the letter. I picked it up, and it felt like…Like it was fucking burning my hand. I don’t know. It felt weird, it gave me the urge to throw it away. But it was my father’s, and who was I to throw my father’s stuff away? Especially a letter? Now I wish I did, but- but I didn’t. I brought it to him, I was happy that awful shit of paper was off of my skin and the feeling slowly stopped prickling on my hand…But when I saw my father’s face. Fuckin’ hell. He looked at me like I had told him I had gotten three girls pregnant and was running away from them – so disappointed and angry. He told me to go to my room, and really, fucking really, I had never been so confused in my LIFE.”

Sam had now begun wandering up and down in front of the building like an animal caught and chained to a wall, too nervous and fierce to sit still and accept its fate, but too weak to break free and run away. You followed his steps, attempting to show him that you were here by kissing his arm and sometimes knuckles, by just humming and caressing him, and it seemed to work as he slowed his steps.

“Turns out – he was called in for the war. I delivered the news that my father was going to war, you know? My dad, a garbage man. Drafted for a war. From then on out, it was like doom had moved in with us. Mom and dad kept having screaming matches in the bedroom. My mom didn’t know what she should do, my dad screaming back that he would serve, as that’s what he needed to do. For this country, for us. My dad, barely able to look me in the eye anymore. Me, not knowing what I had done, why I was to blame.”

There was a smile on his face, this time sour. “Can you believe blaming your kid for having to go to war?” He sighed, and you only now realized that he was sweating. You felt helpless, as if you saw the little blond boy right in front of you, so pained, so confused- “I tried to make it up to him first because I felt like I had to. Showing him my best grades, showing him the new skills I had learned. Showing him projects I started, but he didn’t- he told me he had more important things at hand. The screaming matches kept up, and I- I don’t know. I stopped paying attention at school again. The friends I had were the only comfort I had – my dad apparently hated me, and my mom was so busy with Vincent and preparing for my dad’s absence…Don’t get me wrong. She did everything for us. But- I didn’t feel seen. I felt invisible at home, but I had my friends.  At some point, though, they sat me down and told me we would move. To Pelican Town, where it was safe. Safer than here, at least. I threw a complete temper tantrum, kicked the table, yelled at them. I even ran out on the streets. When my mom found me the next morning, she had a similar look in her eyes as dad, but she was…defeated. Done.”

He inhaled sharply, a quiver making his voice unsteady. “. We packed our stuff, we packed our car and then we went to Pelican Town, it didn’t matter how much I begged. It didn’t matter that I barricaded myself in the room. It didn’t matter that I told them that this was home. We packed, and we went.  The car ride was so, so silent. Eerily so. Not even the radio played. I…erm. I believed that at least the doom that moved in with us would stay behind, in that small apartment in the city. But it followed us. Mom and dad didn’t scream anymore. They seemed…done. I think the implications of dad going to war, the possibilities…They finally kicked in. They kicked in for me, too. What I had delivered to my dad that day. What it meant. What it could lead to.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Sam.” “I know that now. I have always supressed this memory, always supressed that guilt. My dad even hugged me when he had to go and told me he was sorry. That he loved me. But… the ghost of these last memories here have been haunting me, and…and I needed to let them go. I needed to bring them back here and let them go.” Sam finally turned around to you, allowing you to see his face. Tears had left a trail behind on his heated-up cheeks, and more were falling from these precious blue eyes that you had fallen in love with. You wrapped your arms around him, which had something snap in Sam. His shoulders tensed as he sobbed into your neck, his fingers curling into the fabric of your shirt, scared you would fade just like the good memories in that apartment had, good slowly being replaced by the darkness of the threatening unknown. But you wouldn’t fade.

You allowed Sam to cry in your arms, holding his shaking body to yours, making yourself his rock in the turbulent seas of his emotions, making yourself steady for him so he could break down. Sam held you and sobbed, tears flowing into your shirt. “Wasn’t your fault, Sammy,” you whispered, kissing his head.

You didn’t know how long you were standing there, holding Sam to you while he cried. You didn’t care, either. At some point, though, loud sobs ebbed into soft sniffles, the stream of tears ceasing against your soaked shirt. Sam’s shoulders slumped, his grip on you slowly loosening, instead holding you now as well. He held you like you held him, before slowly lifting his head. He swallowed thickly, slowly looking down at you, who was still holding him. You were still there. You smiled up at him, rubbing your thumb over his wet cheeks. “How about…we replace those memories with some good ones? Some that make you feel good when thinking of Zuzu?” Sam didn’t have much time to answer you, because this time, you dragged him along. If you still remembered correctly, there was an old music shop around the main street somewhere, and you had the feeling some sweet music would do your pained beloved just right. His eyes went big when he saw the shop, his pace almost immediately picking up. “Fuck, I always wanted to come here!” You laughed as you followed along, allowing your boyfriend’s sudden burst of excitement luring you in. You were watching your boyfriend stare at the records in awe as he wandered the aisles. “Look, babe! The song that reminds me of you!” He called out, holding up a record. Cursive letters revealed Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love”, blue eyes that still held a hint of the boy you had seen just mere moments before now slowly sparkling at you. Like sunshine catching in freshly fallen raindrops. And Yoba, how you loved him.

It had taken hours for you to wander the city, your bag on Sam’s back had been joined by several others you had gathered on your shopping spree. One of his hands was still holding onto yours as you passed the house again. The blond slowly came to an halt mustering the building with a sense of melancholy. He had had to leave a safe space, but he had found new ones. In Seb, in his house in Pelican Town, in Vincent, and most importantly; in you. Finally, he was ready to let go.

He drew in a long breath, his eyes wandering to the window above you one last time. With a tilt of his head, he realized that the imprint of the stickers he had once left there were no longer there; faded like the curtains that fluttered in the wind. “I…I think I am ready to go.” “Are you? We can stay for a little longer if you want.” He shook his head, wiping over his eyes. “I am ready to go home.”

[oppaspearl]

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘼𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙇𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙂𝙤 (𝙆𝙈𝙂)

Pairing: Idol!Mingyu x Non!Idol reader

Genre: heavy angst. 

Summary: you both don’t want this, but you know you had to do this. 

Date of release: 12/3/22

Words count: 9, 151 words. 

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Author notes:

Hello, everyone! after uploading a fluffy shot, I would like to share my latest work that made me cry my eyes out for a few days. It was indeed such a long journey of story development, and I want to share it with you. I use Lisa as Mingyu's ex because FOR ME they are the perfect match. No hate for the queen. My inspiration was a video on TikTok about how seventeen broke up with you. And after watching that video, I have the urge to combine it with the story line that I have before. I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do. Any constructive criticism will be good and I apologize if there are any mistakes in grammar or any other else that you found in my writing. Enjoy!

with much love, oppaspearl.

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Playlist:

You know it was wrong to think that your boyfriend is out of love for you anymore when he gives you his world to you, treats you like a queen, stares at you with so much love in his eyes, and always be on your side. 

Maybe it’s the insecurity that blinded your mind.

The insecurity that you kept hidden deep down in your thoughts from the day you meet your boyfriend for the first time. He was a stranger back then, a friend from one of your friends that introduced to you at a party. Without asking who is he, what his job is, and how could he can be invited to one of the parties filled with so many Korean top public figures, you know that your friend introduce Kim Mingyu to you. 

It feels like yesterday when he shook your hands and give you sweet smile as he mentioned his name. You still can remember how the warmth of his strong hands holds you that night, how you melted inside as your eyes met his. The world seems to be stopped at that time as you both drowned in each other eyes, like in every romantic movie that you always watch when you were fourteen. The butterfly seems to be joyfully flying on your stomach as both of you drowned in conversation that night. Starting from there, you and Mingyu then spent time together a lot. 

Then it must become a question if you were so happy with him then why are you feeling insecure? 

Here is the thing, working in the Korean pop industry you know a lot. And by mean a lot, sometimes know everything without having to ask. You know how every celebrity goes on date without the fans and media knowing, how they act when the camera was not around them, and furthermore. Working with so many idols from different agencies, making you and your team talk about everything that happened. And Mingyu is one of the hot topics that your coworker always talked about. 

How they could not, Mingyu is the perfect package that every girl wanted. Do you want someone tall and bulky? Mingyu got it. Do you want to wake up with the view of your boyfriend cooking breakfast and shirtless in your kitchen the next morning after you have a date? Mingyu could do it. Or do you want to have a boyfriend who understands you and knows you more than you know yourself? Well, Mingyu is the one. 

It is not a secret that everyone loves Mingyu since also he is an optimistic guy that radiates positive energy to people around him. As someone who works behind the stage, it was also not a secret for you that some girls from any group or even solo artists are enchanted by Mingyu's charismatic energy. So when most of them know that you become close to Mingyu and had some projects with his group, Seventeen, the girls don’t hesitate to ask you to introduce them to him. You did, but in the end, Mingyu asked you to stop doing that since the person he wanted to get to know more is you. 

As your relationship become grow more intense than just friends who spent time together a lot to become a lover, you start digging more about him. Thankfully, you have a wonderful team that told you anything about Mingyu. Well, not talk bad about him, more like his history and other related. You then learn that Mingyu turns out already has two exes and one of them is working in the same industry as him. Your insecurity was risen by thousands as you then learned that the ex that works in the same industry as him is no other than Lisa Manoban, the Black Pink maknae. 

You’ve worked with Lisa before for few times and you could tell that she is a living angel. If you could describe her in three words they will be cheerful, kind, and gorgeous. She’s dropped-dead gorgeous. But she’s known as someone who is private and has high professionalism. 

If you look back again, you realized that Lisa is the female version of your boyfriend. 

You and Mingyu never talk deeply about his past relationship with Lisa, but you know that they dated for almost three years which you are pretty shocked because you were never taught that the relationship can be perfectly hidden for such a long time. What you learn from Mingyu is that they broke up because they start to grow distant due to their job schedule. He also told you that they broke up on good terms and they still be friends. 

Many of your best friends think you must be jealous of the relationship that Lisa and Mingyu had especially after knowing about their past relationship. But you assure them, that you are fine with it because it’s part of adulting. 

However, you start to feel that you are not fine when the thoughts of your boyfriend don't love you as they used to start to haunt you. More likely the thought of your boyfriend seems not entirely moved on from his ex. You know it’s normal especially when you dated Mingyu seven months after he broke up. This made sense since you read once that mostly after break up, a man starts to realize that he didn’t move on yet from his past in the six months after the breakup. 

Also, you may not have the thoughts if something did not happen. 

First, it started as a little shadow. You remembered very well it was last month when you accidentally look at your boyfriend's phone screen as you feel it vibrating beside you. While Mingyu went to the kitchen to get more popcorn for both of you, he left his phone on the sofa which landed beside you. Your eyes caught what was on the screen and you realize that it was room chat between him and Lisa. Turned out Lisa just missed calling Mingyu and not after that there was another message from her. 

Lisa 

23.30

I’m scared, what if something happened? Can you please come here? 

“Alright, let’s continue the movie, jagi.” 

Mingyu's voice already broke you down as he made his way back to beside you. You quickly turn your gaze to the television before you press the play button on the remote. There are thousands of thoughts running through your mind right now. Why was Lisa calling you Mingyu this late? Why did she ask Mingyu to go to her house at this moment? 

But what strikes you the most was turned out all this time when you focusing watch the movie on the television, Mingyu stole some time to chat with Lisa. You know that it’s childish to be upset about it, but you can’t help it. Sighing slowly, you hold yourself up. Maybe Lisa needs Mingyu's help and she was in a dangerous situation when no one could help her. You know the most that Mingyu doesn’t want to make people disappointed or felt alone. 

“Are you okay, baby?” Mingyu looked at you with more concern, and his arms wrapped around your shoulder, bringing you closer to his body. 

Smiling, you peck his cheeks to assure him that you are fine. When you have a thousand thoughts in your head. “I’m good, just suddenly think about work.” 

“You shouldn’t think about it when you're with me, baby.” he pouted before kissing your head. “This is why we have a movie night, remember? Just you and me, with love, not stress.” 

You just smirked at his words and nodded. Looked at your response, Mingyu just grinning and softly pushed your head with his free hand, so it can be rested on his shoulder as he holds your tight. 

“I love you so much, you know that?” he muttered to your head before kissing it again. 

“I know, I love you too.” 

“So much?”

“So much, baby.” 

Then for the rest, both of you just enjoy the movie tangled to each other. As your mind started to peaceful condition, your eyes slowly close halfway through the movie. The strokes of Mingyu's hands on your hair made you slowly drift to sleep. When you are about to get into a deep sleep you feel Mingyu’s phone start to vibrate for few times. Not only that you can also feel his right finger typing on his phone screen. You just drop it off and let the sleep take care of you. 

But the sleep turned out only last for a few hours because you were woken up by the wet feeling on your forehead. Opening your eyes for just a little and between the blurriness, you could see Mingyu strokes your hair for few times before he left you alone in his bed. You closed your eyes, not moving for the next half hour. Your eyes then looked to the digital clock on Mingyu's desk to find turns out it was two in the morning which was two hours after you drifted to sleep on Mingyu's shoulder. 

His apartment was too quiet for you and by that, you slowly rose from his bed then opened the door slowly. 

You slowly walked to the living room and found it was quiet and dim since the only lights that turned on were only the small light near the window. Your head turned to the kitchen which has an open concept, and you found it still neat and dark. A sigh left your mouth slowly as your cold feet made their way to Mingyu's office which was not too far from the living room. After walking slowly, you finally reached the door which was closed. Your hands slowly turned the knob but you did not find any trace of your boyfriend in the office either. 

With empty hands, you just walked back to his bedroom but your walk stopped as you realize that Mingyu's phone laying above the cold marble of the coffee table in the living room. Sighing, you took his phone and brought it with you to his bedroom. Seems like sloppy is still Mingyu's middle name. He always forgets about his phone when he was in a hurry which results in you calling his manager and telling him to pick it up. 

The door of Mingyu's master bedroom is closed and you make your way back to the bed to get some sleep. As you put Mingyu's phone on his wireless charger that is placed on his nightstand, the screen lights up. Narrowing your eyes to adjust the light, you saw that it was a new chat from Lisa.

Lisa

2.00

Just get it when you come, the pin is still the same. 

There was nothing bigger than your curiosity that night. You really wanted to know what they talked about. Mingyu and you know the boundaries about each other privacy but you both also don’t mind if one of you just want to use your phone because in the end if something was off you just talk about it like every adult does. Tonight, however, you just really to know what they talked at least to make you calm your noisy curiosity in your mind.  So, you decided to know the full version because you just don’t want to have another thought or even the worst thoughts that could make a huge impact on your relationship. 

Turned out the message between them two was growing more… intense? You learned that Mingyu accepted the offer that Lisa previously asked him which you already read earlier. You also learned that turns out Mingyu visited her yesterday before he went home. The funny thing is that it was the same time when he told you that he went to groceries to get some ingredients for him to cook. 

You just standing frozen and staring at the screen. Inside your mind, you were battling with yourself. Should you see the full chat of them to make sure that they didn’t do the last thing that you hoped? Or should you just cool it off and just be okay with it? But is it normal to act like nothing happened when your boyfriend visits his ex without bothering to tell you? 

So the heart won, and you decided to let it go and just bury yourself in the thick blanket that has Mingyu scents over it. As you landed on the perfectly comfortable bed of Kim Mingyu and were ready to get more sleep, your eyes didn’t corporate with you. Either it’s because of the coffee you had this afternoon or maybe the strange feeling that was caused by the winning of your heart, you didn’t realize that you’ve been tossing around for hours. Your eyes closed briefly but your mind was busy as hell. It was like a playground, with a lot of screaming, yelling, and storming mixed in one place which was in your mind. 

You opened your eyes and find out it was already four in the morning. Sighing you grabbed your phone and play your social media to distract your mind. But as you heard the sound of the main door opening, you put back your phone and close your eyes. You pretended to sleep as you heard the master bedroom door open. Not so long after that, you heard the sound of the shower running, then ten minutes later you feel arms wrapped around your waist and Mingyu's soft breath on the back of your neck. 

And so after what happened that night, you never asked Mingyu where he went or what was the reason why he left you alone for two hours. Mingyu also did not tell you about it, so you just let go of it even when you feel an unknown and strange feeling in your heart. 

You choose to ignore it. 

But you know you couldn't help to hope that it will be the first and the last time Mingyu did that. You kind of wish that Mingyu will just tell you about it without you having to ask first. On another side, you also know that his intention was just to give a hand to help Lisa. It was no secret for you and Mingyu that your boyfriend is such a people pleaser and sometimes you told him that he has to endure it. You know that he has a pure intention to help, not only Lisa but most people that asked him for help. 

The worst part is that the feeling and thoughts that you’ve been avoiding kept chasing you, especially when you realize that Mingyu almost spent his time off with Lisa. Mingyu still spent his time with you, but other than you and his groupmates, he spent more time with her. Usually, they went out alongside the 97 groups that you know.  Mingyu as a caring boyfriend explains to you that Lisa is currently homesick and since she couldn’t back to Thailand in a short time, she feels lonely. By that Mingyu told you that he and his 97 groups try to cheer her up. 

You try to be okay with it and pretend that it was not big deal. But eventually, the reality woke you up. The first thing that made you realize is that you and Mingyu slowly rarely meet each other or have dates like you used to have. Besides that the communication between you is also not more than asking about each other doing and activities. It just feels like you are back to the first stage. It was strange because usually no matter busy you are or he is, both of you will have your way to meet each other such as going home to your or his place, having a breakfast date or even just having a quick coffee run in the middle of your lunch break. You knew that during that time, Seventeen also have a flexible schedule since they just finished their world tour and awards season. 

You never thought that it will be a big storm after calming night. 

---

“So, are you gonna tell him?” 

Your head looks up and finds your boss, Suhoon, leaning at your door with arms crossed. Your lips slowly turned to smile as you leaned into your chair while Suhoon walk towards you with both of his hands in the pocket of his pants. Above your glass desk, there was a piece of paper in your grip. Your grip on the paper starts to loosen as you look at it with a blank expression. 

On your hold, the letter of scholarship acceptance in New York City for your postgraduate program was laid and you don’t seem happy at all. It was supposed to be a jolly night when the letter came when you are supposed to be celebrating your acceptance for the study program that you worked for about a year. You should celebrate it with your loved one, but here you are feeling empty. 

“YN,” Suhoon calls you softly. “You seem lost, are you okay?”

You nod, still looking at the paper that you held. Suhoon who knows you for more than five years, let out a sigh and you know he didn’t buy any of your response. 

“Don’t lie, tell me what happened.” 

“Just some issues,” you answer slowly.

“With Mingyu?”

Your right hand previously rubs the paper that you hold. Lifting your head slowly, your eyes then met with his brown ones that have been staring at you. 

“What’s happening?” Suhoon narrows his eyes before taking sit on one of the chairs in front of your desk. 

“I don’t know,” you say, with a low tone. 

Suhoon sighs and rubs his temple slowly. Working as your boss for the past six year makes Suhoon knows about you more than everyone in the office. Besides the fact that you regularly spent more time with him in the past to get your job done, you also hung out with him a lot. It made you become his litter sister that he always dream of. For Suhoon, you are one of the strongest women that he knows so far besides his mother and his wife. 

Being the last child of the kids in the family and with your family living overseas, makes you grow up alone and used to being alone. Suhoon even didn’t understand why you choose to live alone in Seoul and work hard while you can enjoy living in Europe with your family and work as you wanted. 

Little you didn’t know, Suhoon knows you are a fighter, but not for love. 

“YN,” Suhoon whispers. “Please just tell me, maybe I can help you.” 

“Is it normal for a man to visit her ex at two in the morning while his girlfriend sleeps in his apartment? Is it normal that I don’t want my boyfriend to spend more time with his ex? Is it normal for me to feel sad when my boyfriend even forgets about the scholarship that we kept talking about for months? ” 

Hearing your question, Suhoon looks up and his jaw drops. But different from him, you just sit there and didn’t have any expressions that show your true feelings. Suhoon clenched his fist and sighs as he realized who you talking about. All he wants to do right now was to punch Kim Mingyu in the face, but he know he couldn't do that. 

Because you love that bastard so much. 

“Oppa,” you call him softly. “I don’t want to move to New York, just because I need to run away from someone in here.” 

“You know you don’t have to,” Suhoon tells you. “You could just pick a great uni in here and you could move on.” 

“But..”

“YN,” Suhoon stands from his seat. “You are YN, one of the best fighters that I know, and one thing I know for sure is that you fight your ass up to finally achieve all this, to achieve the scholarship that you want since you are in your freshman year in college. You deserved to have a life like what you deserved.” 

“And what kind of life that I deserved?” 

Suhoon sighs again before looking into your eyes. “The life that made you realize that you have to let go of the person that you love, so then both of you can be better.  The life that could give you all the love that you deserved after a long journey.” 

You nod your head and open your mouth to speak further but then it was interrupted as you hear your and Suhoon's phone vibrates. Without thinking twice, you grab your phone and Suhoon too. Turns out it was one of your team who send messages in the work group chat of your team. 

DISPATCH 

UPDATE: SEVENTEEN’S KIM MINGYU AND LISA OF BLACKPINK SPOTTED BACK TOGETHER AND KISSED?! FIND OUT MORE [LINK] 

As you read the headline, your fingers start to tremble. Not after you read that, your coworker sent you the photos of them. Your eyes look to four photos that are being sent on the group chat. It was them, it was them.  The height difference, the broad shoulder of your boyfriend, and even the cap. The baseball cap that you gave him six months ago. Your thumbs just hover over the screen as you look at the final photo which showed that your boyfriend grabs his ex's waist and kissed her on the lips. What is so funny is that in the article it said that they kissed on November 19th, the day of your anniversary. 

You could feel your world start to crumble. Your hands couldn't grasp your phone anymore, and your eyes were blurred by your tears. The phone falls back to the carpet and you can see that there is someone calling you and you know who. 

Without you realizing it, Suhoon grabs you and hugs you tight. Your head leans to his chest as tears start to stream down your cheek. You feel numb, you feel like you cannot do something, and Suhoon keeps whispering some words to you that you couldn't point at the moment. 

It was like Suhoon hugging a mannequin. But that’s what you feel even when your head was in a chaotic situation. 

Your body is in pain like you were just falling from the highest building on earth to the lowest ground. Tears cannot stop streaming from your eyes, you wanted to scream but then you were just too hurt to do anything. 

--

You used to don’t know what is worse than going home with a drunk head. 

But now you know the answer. The answer is that going back home to your apartment with your non-stop ringing phone and a broken heart. Your heart begins to pound and your head is ready to be blown up any second. After Dispatch release the photo, Suhoon insisted to drive you back home, and using the privilege of being your boss, you accepted his offer. 

On the way back to your apartment, your eyes just focused on the view outside of the car. Your body leaned to Suhoon's leather car sit as he drove beside you. Your cold hands grip your bag as you keep telling yourself to not cry in front of Suhoon. Suhoon who drove the car just let the atmosphere become cold and quiet. He knows that the last thing you need is him bickering and asking how you feeling when he already knows the answer. As his Mercedes-Benz reached your apartment complex, you mutter thank you but you avoid his eyes. 

Before you step out of his car, Suhoon's hand holds your cold ones and makes you turn your head to look at him. There were ten until twenty seconds of silence before he told you that he is one call away if you need anything and the only response that he got from you was only a nod. 

Still, in your clothes, you are now sprawled out in your bed. Your bag was not too far from you, as you can see that the sky become darker in minutes. Your phone still ringing and you know who try to contact you. You just start blankly at the sky as it becomes darker and darker, while your mind was screaming. You don’t know which was hurt since it was too painful. 

Deep down, you know what makes you hurt the most and it was yourself.

If only you know that the man that you love still loves his past, maybe you are not in this position now. You could just live happily and he can do that too. So, you wonder again, is this how the universe trying to tell? With you being Mingyu's girlfriend, make them realize that their love was stronger than ever. Was the universe send you to him, so he can realize how much his love for her?

You wanted to scream.

You wanted to yell to the universe. 

But all you do now is just lie in your bed as tears slowly left your eyes. It feels like you are dying slowly. The pain was too hurtful to bear, to at least make you furious. You just feel…numb and stupid. Stupid because you know it will happen and you don’t stop yourself to get hurt. 

Slowly you turned your head to your bag that sprawled not too far from you. Your eyes stare at it for a few seconds, before you let out a sigh and slowly sit on your bed as you reach for your bag to get an item. Your hand took your phone from your bag and again for the nth time, you take a long deep breath before your phone screen lights up. 

There were some missed calls and new messages that spammed your notification. Of course, most of them were from Mingyu and the rest was from your best friends and all member of Seventeen. Your best friends asked where you were and how are you holding up after the news. From your notification, you can read how they are yelling at each other and how they want to fight Mingyu at the moment. 

Besides your best friends, all members from Seungcheol and Chan also asked about your well-being and asking where you were. You get the most message from Seungcheol and Seungkwan who are pretty close to you. From their message, you can feel their worry about you. 

Then the last you read how your boyfriend handle the situation that was caused by him, well accidentally caused by him. Mingyu has missed calling you about thirty times, and most of his messages were telling you that he can explain what’s happening, asking where you were, and he told you that he was on his way to your office so you can go home with him. It was roughly five minutes when you arrived at your apartment. 

Either it’s because your job to handle some crisis or it was too painful that makes you numb, you sigh and write a message to him. 

To: Mingoo ❤️‍🔥

21.00

I’m fine and I’m already back at my apartment since five minutes ago. I think I need time alone to calm myself, please.

So you just hit the send button before turning off your phone. You don’t know what to do, and for the first time in your life, you don’t know what you should do. It hurts every corner of your body, and you just want to sleep it off, hoping the nightmare was gone when you woke up in the morning. 

Maybe it is a good idea for you, to clean your make-up, has a hot shower, and then sleep. 

Rising from the bed, you slowly take off your coat and put it on your chair before moving to your wardrobe. Heck, you even couldn’t walk properly. Besides the fact that it hurts every inch of your body, your mind still can’t function properly. Like your mind was torn into some parts that are buried in different yet deep places inside of you. What made it worse is that you don’t have enough energy to look for each piece and fix it like it used to. 

Deep down you cursed yourself. 

You knew it will happen, but why didn’t do anything?

Why were you just peacefully sitting there while you know it will make you hurt? 

There were so many questions you asked yourself, but you couldn't answer one of them yet. You wonder what Mingyu truly feels, was he mean it when he says that he loves you? Was it coming from his heart, or it was just to convince himself that he loves you more than Lisa? 

You cannot lie to yourself that you didn't love him because hell you love him more than you love yourself. You realized it when it was already two months after you have the first date with him, you know it was such a short time for you to admit that you love him. Heck, you won’t be this painful if you don’t love him. 

As your hand takes some shirts from your wardrobe, your eyes then focused on a black box that is perfectly hidden between your shirts. Without realizing it, your hands slowly grab the box. Tears start to gather in your eyes as you realize what was inside the box.

It was supposed to be Mingyu birthday present. 

You remembered very well how you secretly contact so many people as you looked for the jacket that Mingyu always talks about. You remember very well how Mingyu talks about it and sadly said to you that jacket was discontinued. It’s a simple black jacket with the hoodie on, but there were some details on the pocket that made it look chic, which made it suit Mingyu. And luckily you find the jacket in his size. 

You are the type that has a hard time keeping everything in secret. So, keeping your gift from Mingyu is a very big challenge for you. It is also the reason why you hid it deep inside your wardrobe. Walking towards your bed with the box on, you keep glancing at the box before you open it. 

The jacket was still there, neatly packed with some white tuile to protect it from any dirt. Above the jacket, there was an envelope that has not been closed. You decided to open it and realize that it was a letter that you wrote alongside three polaroids of you and Mingyu. On the first polaroid was you and Mingyu who stares at each other with big smile and so much love in each gaze. Mingyu arms are wrapped securely around yours, as your right hand were on his chest. You realized that it was the photo that you took when you visit his family for Chuseok and the polaroid was taken by his sister as the three of you enjoying the evening view from Mingyu’s balcony. 

In the same place as the first one, the second photo has the same background but it has differences. In the second photo, Mingyu looked at the view while you look at him with so much love in your eyes. His arms are still wrapped around you but your hands, not his chest. And the last one was the polaroid of you wrapped around each other at Wonwoo's birthday dinner. Smiles were wide on your and Mingyu’s lips.  

Seeing those pictures made you miss Mingyu more. It feels like you just want to run to his arms and beg him to stay. But all of your thought was ripped as your eyes focused on the second picture. It made you wonder if that is how your and Mingyu’s life could be if you just let all of this go. You know that by loving someone, you also need them to be happy. 

Those big smiles that you secretly found on Mingyu's lips several times as he typed something on his phone, or the times when you look at his happy expression as Chan danced to one of Lisa’s songs in their fan meeting has made you realize something. Maybe letting Mingyu go, will make him find his happiness which is on Lisa. 

Yes, you will be hurt. 

Yes, it’s gonna take a long time to heal it. 

But you know that you could not make Mingyu happy. You love Mingyu and he loves you, but you know that his love for Lisa is bigger than what both of you have right now. You are not blind, you clearly can see it in his eyes and how acts. 

You know it’s time for you to leave and stop being in the middle of two people that fall in love. 

And so by that, your body collapses on your bed as tears stream around your eyes. You try to scream but you can’t because it is just too painful. It was too painful for you to let the person that you love the most go and back to his happiness. 

But you know, sooner or later it will be more painful to see him pretending to be happy when he’s not. It will be more painful to finally realize that you could not make him happy. 

You realized, right now is the perfect time for you to leave. 

---

Seungcheol

19:00

He just left the dorm, on the way to his apartment. Are you there? Please be safe, call me if you need anything.  

Your eyes look at your phone screen. Reading back to the message that Seungcheol sent to you fifteen minutes ago, you sigh slowly and lean into the chair. You tighten your hands as you mentally prepare for what you want to talk about. Turning your head to see the view outside, you realize that it was already snowing. It’s the perfect time for you to play with some snow and enjoy a cup of hot chocolate. Your mind traces back to the memories of when you used to play in the snow outside with your brother while your mom told you to go back before you catch a cold. 

Speak of your brother, you missed him. You missed having him around you, you missed how you can talk for hours about all your problems with him, and you missed how he hugs you to assure you that you are safe. Those warm hugs that keep you calm in the middle of the storm. 

Maybe after all of this is finished, you will back home and call your brother right away. 

“YN?”

Your head turns to where the voice has called your name softly.  The voice was too familiar for you. Standing not far away from you, Mingyu looks at you with his mouth half open. Your eyes meet his and you can see that he looks fresher than ever. Mingyu walks slowly towards you with his eyes still on you while you raise for your sit. 

“Baby,”

Please don’t call me that, you beg silently in your mind. 

You try to keep your tears in place but your mind betrays you. A tear left your eyes as you sadly smile at him. The mixed feeling that you got as you look at him after two days of radio silence was so overwhelming. Deep down all you want to do was bury yourself in his warmness, but you know you couldn't do that. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Mingyu whispers before he walks to you and hugs you tight. As his arms wrapped around you, your arms just stay in the position. You didn’t hug him while he hugs you like there is no day for tomorrow. Tears flow down your cheek as you also can feel a wet feeling on your hair. Indeed, both of you cry. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Mingyu whispers again and again before he looks into your eyes. “We can fix everything right? I love you,” 

I love you too, but I know you love her more. 

You just stare at him blankly. His brown eyes with so many worries as you try to memorize them closely. The moles on his nose, his puppy eyes, every detail of Mingyu that you know will be missed. Especially those lips. Gosh, those plumpy lips that kissed you with so much love and passion. Those lips that give your head and cheek pecks whenever you are wrapped around his arms.

“Mingyu-ah,” you take a deep breath before looking straight into his eyes. You realize how his eyes widened as you call him by his name instead of the nicknames that you always used. Not Gyu, baby, babe, loves, chagi, but just Mingyu. “I-I think we need to talk about it, about us.” 

Mingyu looks at you like he knows what will you talk about. Lowering his gaze before letting out a sigh, he then nods slowly before sitting on the sofa. You sit beside him, giving space between both of you. For a few seconds, there was huge silence between you, as you glued your eyes to your hands that were on your lap. You still don’t have any guts to look at Mingyu back but you know he was looking at you. 

“Before we talk,” Mingyu’s husky voice ripped the silence. “Can I hold your hand?”

Still lowering your head, you nod at him and take his hands to yours. Now in your sight, you can see clearly how your hands holding his right hand. The difference with your cold hands, his hand was warmer and it makes you hold it with both of your hands. But the warmth of his hand also pulls you to the reality where you have to talk about it right now. 

Mentally prepare yourself for the second time, you take a deep breath before asking, “It was true, wasn’t it?” 

“Chagi,” 

“Please don’t lie and cover it up,” you mumble to him. “I need the truth.”

There was firmness that Mingyu felt in your tone and he knows you already know something. Something that is cruel and has been hurting you. None like other people who punch him in the face, you just sat there beside him and still held his hands. 

“Yes,” Mingyu weakly answer. 

“Does she knows about us?” you ask. As the question left your mouth, you prepare yourself for his answer next. You were silently thankful that you are holding his hand because it was a distraction so you don’t have to look into his eyes. 

“No,” your thumb that slowly caresses his hands suddenly stops. 

You were frozen as you heard his answer. Among all the problems, it was one thing that made you feel like just being punched by someone in every inch of your body. But then again, your thoughts just laugh at you, knowing it will be happening. You should have known this. Why did Mingyu bother to let Lisa knows about your relationship with him when he was still in love with her? Stupid you. 

It made you realize too that your relationship with Mingyu was being hidden pretty well like how you hid the black box in your wardrobe. 

A tear escapes from your eyes and touches his hands. Feeling the wetness of it, Mingyu becomes a little bit tense and you can feel it from his hands. Cursing yourself for letting the tears out, you just nod. You just nod like it was a normal thing that you heard every day when it was not at all. 

“I think we should end here, Mingyu.” 

As the sentences left your mouth, Mingyu straighten his body but not pulling his hand from yours. You know that your sentence must be shocked him because it honestly shocked you too. 

But you don’t have any better choice. 

“Y-YN…”

“Let’s end whatever we have in here, Mingyu.” 

This time you look into his eyes. There was no trace of stars or even love that you used to see before. His eyes scream confusion, fear, and any of it that you never imagine seeing in his beautiful eyes. While your eyes screams pain and tears welled up, your lips however tugged a beautiful smile. It hurts you too, more than anything.  

“Chagi, no.” Mingyu shakes his head and holds your hands with his. His voice becomes tremble as you can see tears in his eyes. “No, we can fix this, please, I-I-I love you… I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be this far, I swear. W-we can talk about it, I tell her now about us and--” 

You lower your head and shake your head slowly. “There is nothing we can do, Mingyu.” 

“B-But I love you!” His hold on your hands becomes tighter as his voice increased. Yet, you still lowered your head and avoided his eyes. “P-Please, just let’s talk about it and I swear… gosh… I swear to start to forget everything about her. Please just… stay.”

“I can’t,” you look at him. “You love her, Mingyu, you still love her and I can see it clearly in your eyes. Even if we fix whatever it is, it can hurt us, it can hurt you even more.” 

There is a pause between both of you, and as Mingyu doesn’t reply to your last sentence, you take a deep breath before continuing. 

“I don’t want to do this either,” you chuckle softly. “But I cannot force the person who I love to stay with me because I know it will hurt them, it will hurt you. You deserve to be with someone that you love, Mingyu. You deserved to live and earn that happiness, even when it does not come from me.” 

Mingyu lowered his head before you could see his shoulder shake. You know he cries and it hurt you too. Without knowing it too, you also silently cry. Both of you still held each other hands, but both of you also drowned in the cries. Looking up, you sniffle and without thinking twice you pull Mingyu into your arms. In seconds his arms make their way to hug you and you can feel that he still softly cries on your neck. 

“I’m not mad at you for loving her, Mingyu,” you say softly as your hands threads his soft hair. “Because you have the right to love the person that you want and you deserve that. You deserve to be happy with someone you love and I don’t want to hold you from that. You still have me on your back, whenever you need me... I’m just call away even when I’m not yours or the otherwise. I love you, and let me love you with my way from now, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu looks up. You can feel how your heart broke as you look into his glassy eyes. “I’m sorry I used you, YN.” 

You shake your head. “No, you’re not, Mingyu.”

“But I am,” he sighs. “I took you for granted… gosh I used you as my rebound, YN. I used your love to heal my feeling, then I just run away from you by bringing your heart with me. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey.” you softly call Mingyu and make him look straight into your eyes. “It’s okay, I will be okay, Mingyu.”

“But I hurt you the most,”

“You are worth it,” you sadly smile. “You are worth the pain that I have, Kim Mingyu.”  

--- 

The street was… emptier than usual. 

It was around eleven o’clock when Kim Mingyu’s Range Rover slid through above Gangnam streets. As his left hand was on the wheel and his eyes focused on the road, his right hand was nestled on your hand. Your eyes are glued to the outside view as you lean on the leather seat. Between both of you, the silence was thickly lingering which was different from the usual. Usually, at this hour, you and Mingyu were nestled in each other arms on his bed or having some karaoke car night as you both went to some fast food restaurant. 

But tonight, it was different. 

There was a box of your clothes in the back seat. Clothes that you purposely put on Mingyu's wardrobe. You decided to take them all with you back to the place they were from tonight. Alongside your clothes, your heart also comes with you tonight as you put back Mingyu’s back into his hand. 

After your talk, Mingyu insisted to drive you home. You declined the offer at first, saying that you just take a taxi and you don’t want to make him go back pretty late. Deep down, you just don’t want to be in the same car with Mingyu, especially in the car that always accompanies your date with him. 

“I know it's selfish, but let me just…drive you back for the last time. I just want to spend more time with you as… a lover, before today ends.” 

You sigh as you look at Mingyu's expression as he told you the real reason why he insisted to drive you back. To be fair, you have the same wish as him but you buried it as the thoughts came to your mind. Looking at his lost blank expression, you then finally accept his offer. But as Mingyu look at the box that was filled with your clothes, he was frozen. As you mention to him that you are ready, Mingyu sadly smiles at you before grabbing the box. 

“C-Can I hold your hand? Please?”

As Mingyu steps into his car after closing your door, Mingyu looks at you. You look at him with a blank expression before nodding. This time, Mingyu pulls your hand to his as he starts to drive. After that, both of you just drowned in each other thoughts. 

You don’t know what’s on his mind, but you do know very well about yours. If someone asks you about what you feel right now, you honestly don’t know what to answer. Not only you were tired, but you just don’t know where to start to explain it. You love Mingyu and you never expect to be in this situation where it forced you to let him go. But here you were, sitting on the passenger seat of Mingyu's car and holding his hands while you can feel yourself starting to lose yourself. 

“We are here, love.” 

Blinking your eyes, you realize that both of you are already in your apartment block parking lot. You take a deep breath, before nodding and taking off the seat belt. Mingyu’s driver seat door was just open as you call his name softly and tighten your hold on his hands. Not three seconds, Mingyu turns his head and finds that you still sit in your seat with glassy eyes that look forward. 

“Mingyu-ah,” you take a deep breath before looking at him. “I’m sorry.”

Hearing you apologize, Mingyu frowns at you before sighing. But as he open his mouth and was ready to speak, you cut him off by continuing, “I know I should fight for us, but I don’t think I could…I don’t know if I can be strong enough in the future and I don’t want to trap you in the relationship that holds you from your happiness.”

“Oh, love--”

“I love you, Mingyu,” you say between your tears, tightening your hold on his hands. “This past year was… pleasant to have you in my life. Thank you for making my life more…happy and colorful with your love. Thank you for loving me even when I’m at my lowest, and thank you for always being there. I’m glad that I met you and am yours.”

“YN,” 

“Don’t cry,” you sadly smile and wipe his tears with your thumb. “Please don’t make it harder, Gyu.” 

“I’m sorry,” he says between his tears. “Gosh, I love you… I do, YN, please believe me that. I’m sorry for this happening to you, I’m sorry that I can’t move from my past, YN. Sorry for seeing you as her.”

“Hey look at me,” you cup his face with both of your hands and look him forward with your glassy eyes. ”It’s not your fault, okay? Don’t blame yourself because you falling in love with someone. Mingyu. I’m glad you have her in your life, I do, and I know that you can do so much better and happier with her. I know you can love and protect her more than me, Mingyu. I know that.” 

“But I hurt you, YN!” Mingyu snaps. “You, the person that put your heart into me, the one that always sees me even when no one does, the person that taught me so much, the person that I suppose to love only and--”

Without any word, you pressed your lips to him. For the last time, please. The kiss feels different while there are nothing changes. You still can feel the softness of Mingyu's lips, the mint flavor, and the feel of his hand grasping your neck softly. Physically nothing changes but mentally everything changes. You know after this kiss and after you left him, there will be no us between both of you. 

There will be no YN and Minyu as a couple. There will be no more nights spent in each other arms, no more late-night calls when Mingyu is overseas, no more Mingyu who accompany you working late in your living room, and no more sweet kisses from Kim Mingyu. 

You are all alone again. 

“I love you,” you whisper as you broke the kiss. “I will always love you, even when you are someone else’s.” 

Mingyu nods and closes his eyes. “I love you too, YN YLN, always and I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry too…” you nod. “Goodbye, Kim Mingyu.”

And so you take a deep breath before letting go of his grasp. Wiping your tears, you mentally support yourself to get a little bit stronger at least until you are already secure in your apartment. You smile at him before you pull the door open. Tighten your hold on your coat, you then go to the back seat to take the box. You don’t want to bother Mingyu who seems lost and still in his seat as so take the box and close the door.

Before walking to your apartment's main door, you wave your hands at him as he stares at you blankly. Without wanting more time, you just walked to the door as tears streamed down your cheek. You hold the box tight as you silently cry. The pain was stronger than before until it make you cannot walk properly but you force yourself because you don’t want Mingyu sees you like that. 

Don’t turn your back. 

Don’t look at him again. 

Just walk and cry, YN. 

“YN,” 

You heard Mingyu calls your name and make you stop walking. Betraying your mind for the nth time, you turn your body to look at him. Mingyu stood all 187 cm, and the dark navy coat that has a grey collar that he wore perfectly shaped his body. His eyes were red and swollen same as yours. 

“Thank you,” pause. “Thank you for letting me love her.” 

Smiling at him, you just nod while your heart cries loudly. You then walk inside your apartment building, leaving him back in his car. As you wait for the elevator, tears cannot stop leaving your eyes. The pain was too painful to bear with it, and it made you realize that you are alone now, without Mingyu. 

---

“So, did you tell him?” 

You look up from your phone before turning your head to Suhoon who sits beside you.  The departure from Incheon Airport was empty when you arrived. Cold morning breeze haunts your skin even when you are already protected by your thick Burberry coat. Today is the day when you will be leaving for New York and Suhoon alongside his wife was accompany you tonight like how your parents do every time you leave Europe. 

Heck, you were even already in the airport six hours before check-in opened. 

You shake your head for the answer to his question. Instead of giving you long lectures, Suhoon just stares at you before slowly nods. He knows that maybe it was the best decision and he believes you have your own reason why you didn’t tell Mingyu about your departure. It’s been a month since the breakup, and Suhoon already noticed some changes in your life that mostly you don’t want to discuss it. He is thankful for the scholarship because of it most of his time was being used to process some documents for your departure. But Suhoon cannot cover the fact that he is also sad because he lost the happy version of you, the colorful version of you. 

Suhoon who knows you for years even shocked too by the way how you calm and managed to survive the pain that he knows hurts you the most. Yes, he did see you cry. Yes, he noticed how your eyes looked puffy when you walked to the office. But with you sitting beside him, Suhoon just sees any trace of peace and calmness on your face. 

“What happened if one day he come to me and asked where were you?”

You sigh, then look down. “Just tell him where I’m, it is okay.”

“Why?” Suhoon furrows. “Most of the people I know that have the same case as yours, most of them didn’t let the person who hurts them know where they were. But why are you just letting him know your whereabouts?”

“Because it means, you already have peace with it, oppa,” you explain. “I love Mingyu, and I already know the fact that his love now is for Lisa, not me. If we really meant to be together, there will be thousands of ways that make us back to each other. But if not, then we just really need to let go or else we get hurt more.” 

“Will you miss him?” 

“Of course,” you smirk. “But it’s part of letting go of someone you love”

You know you will be missing Mingyu and in fact, you are missing Mingyu. There is no day you didn’t think about him, about what he does at the moment. But you know that it was not your name that was on his heart right now, and you try to make a peace with yourself for it. Let go of someone that you love is… tough, but forcing someone who stays and loves you while his heart is already placed in someone else is tougher.  

Maybe in another lifetime you and Mingyu will be together forever and you become his happiness.

But not in this current lifetime. 

How is it? I really hope you cry because I did for two days straight after writing this LOL! By the way, Part 2 is in progress and yes it will be multiple chapter and my target is finished it by next month, so please tell me more about what you feel after you read this. with much tears and loves, oppaspearl.

[wexhappyxfew]

I am braving the anxiety and sending in a prompt without anon 😊

How about wrapping arms around the others neck when standing behind for Annie and Brady? I am so down for angst and hurt/comfort so whatever point in their journey you feel would fit best!

And then maybe for Kennedy and Bucky a protective prompt for the camps? Either “I’ll never stop hugging you” or the “don’t leave my sight”. Literally every protective prompt was so good 😭

I love all the couples in Silver Bullets but Annie and Brady, and Kennedy and Bucky are so special to me right now. Let me know if I should’ve sent them in two different asks!! Sorry if I did this wrong. Can’t wait🫶🏼

HELLO FRIEND!!!! massive apology that it has taken me this long to get back to you with these two prompts!!! and sorry that it is JULYYYYY like WHAT. anyway!!! massive congrats and mega proud of you for braving the anxiety - sometimes all it takes is those baby steps so please know i am proud of you!!! <3 and it means so much that you did it to send THESE FANTASTIC PROMPTS TOO!!!! thank you thank you! THESE TWO WERE FANTASTIC LET ME TELL YOU (again)! SO -- i am putting the Kennedy x Bucky prompt here and will be posting the Annie x Brady one in the coming days. they were both too good to just only do one. so. YEP HERE WE ARE!!! can confirm i was losing my mind over these two when writing so please enjoy <3333 THANK YOU AGAIN!!!! :D

a little imagination

(a/n): kennedy and bucky (pre-kiss/confession mess they are) in a situation after kennedy's nightmare and well. this speaks for itself. let's just say -- pre-marital cuddling? OH THAT IS ABSOLUTELY ON THE DOCKET !!!!!! these two are just. totally adorable. soft. witty. funny. i-

When Kennedy had blinked her eyes open, she was face to face with the wall of the bunk room.

And everything was a bit hazy, her vision fuzzy like she wasn't fully awake yet.

And there was a quiet hum in the room, that vaguely reminded her of waking up in her aunt's shore house in the summer when her and her cousins would crash on the couches that overlooked the bay. A drip of nostalgia hit her insides in a way that made her rapidly blink her eyes to wake up and figure out where she was.

The blank, darkened wall of the bunk room though was enough to strip away any thought of home and remind her that she was right here.

In the Stalag.

Though for the first time in weeks, she was warm.

Considerably warm.

And there was an annoying huffing and snoring in her ear.

Kennedy narrowed her gaze, before slowly widening her eyes. Realization hit her like a slap in the face and suddenly she was aware of everything touching her body. The blanket tucked up under her chin as she curled the edge of her thin pillow against her cheek, the sudden weight around her chest and the warmth from that weight, certainly what she could consider a presence. She wasn't entirely even complaining though about the current position she was in - if anything, she was comfortable and well-rested and had never felt more protected and held in her life.

And she had been with multiple boys from the country club that her mother had sworn up and down were 'as sweet as blueberry pie'.

Blueberry pie sucked anyway if she was being honest.

As her senses came to her more, she could hear a few voices from somewhere behind her - behind her, repeat, there were voices past the person currently wrapping their arms around her form and pulling her into them.

A million thoughts raced through Kennedy's mind at what was about to occur - she was going to have to first off, wake up Bucky Egan of all people, who was laid curled around her like an unmoving excuse of a rock.

Second, once he does wake up, he would start talking and not stop and somewhere in that string of words, he would say her name.

Third, people would start looking their way, and Bucky would slide out of the bunk and she would follow, and have to explain herself in some poor fashion because she was never great with words like Annie or Bessie were. It wasn't that she was embarrassed, it was far from that if she were honest - the embarrassment would sneak in - but it was more of the fact that she let herself get so vulnerable and open and emotional. She didn't want to put that pressure on anyone, especially someone like Bucky.

Kennedy slowly shifted the slightest bit, hoping it would get Bucky to move himself awake. When she did so, she felt his grip tighten on her and a small sigh to escape his lips into her ear. Goosebumps raced over her skin and she couldn't help but feel the tops of her cheeks warm.

"You grip me any tighter and I'm going to burst a lung," Kennedy whispered quietly over her shoulder the best she could, feeling his grip loosen and a small chuckling huff escape his lips - oh, he was absolutely awake, "thanks." Bucky mumbled something unintelligible, before she felt the pressure of his head against the back of her neck again. She raised her brow.

"What?"

"I wouldn't allow that to happen." he mumbled, a bit louder this time, still sounding as if he was half-asleep, "I swear, Kenny."

"Well, it's about to and you'll be the reason." she muttered back and she heard a small laugh escape his lips as he cuddled closer to her and let out another sigh of evident comfort and content.

"You know, Kenny, one might say thank you for allowing someone else in their bunk for a night," he muttered out quietly, a light-hearted tone to his voice, "offering up this tiny little space for two people. Squished in like we're sardines. Really sticking my neck out, ya know?"

Kennedy shifted and glanced towards Bucky as she readjusted onto her back. She found him sat up a bit, one arm still lazily wrapped around her chest, as he pulled her close to him, his tired eyes looking down at her. In the morning, those walls came up, those terrors and fears that slipped from her lips were yet again buried - and she was determined to act like it had almost never happened.

Last night.

Her telling him her fears, why she couldn't sleep.

The plane.

"Thank you." she said quietly, hoping her voice was still low enough for only him to hear, "Seriously, Bucky, I mean it." Bucky grinned at her without so much so as a need for words.

"It's alright, I was just teasing, you silly goose," he said, a small laugh escaping his lips, before he caught her gaze and his eye softened, nodding to her, "how'd you sleep?"

Kennedy watched him for a moment. The window that was nearby was bright enough with enough sun to illuminate half his face, making it appear honey-gold, making his eyes seem more alive than they ever have before. His gaze was subdue, his eyes soft as they watched her, and the corner of his lip was perked upwards - and if she was being honest with herself it did make her heart race.

Something about this entire situation made her heart race, it made her entire being feel a little crazy. Something in the back of her head dumbed it down though - she was just here because she'd woken in the middle of the night and Bucky was looking out for her.

Looking out. For her. That was it. That's all it was. Sure - it didn't explain him cuddled against her or her enjoying it, but she shoved it out of her brain when she noticed him still looking at her with that quiet look. If this were another time, and somehow she was waking up beside Bucky Egan, she would wish that somehow she got to do this all the time. It beat waking up to a pillow.

"Hm?" she asked quietly, feeling Bucky shift beside her and grin.

"How'd you sleep?" Bucky asked quietly, "You look relaxed, you know." Kennedy grinned a bit, blushing suddenly knowing he'd seemed to notice exactly how she felt.

"Really well," Kennedy said, suddenly almost shy at the words that slipped from her lips, suddenly turning her eyes towards Bucky's shoulder instead of you know, his face, "better than the past few weeks, if I'm being honest."

"Good." Bucky said with a nod, a genuine one at that, before smiling at her, "Something we can finally agree on." Her eyes darted to his in mild surprise, but instead he was peeling away from her and pulling himself out of the bunk, his fingertips dragging over her jacketed stomach, his warmth following.

Kennedy watched as he stood to his feet, receiving nods from Brady, Buck and DeMarco who were stood and sat about, the likes of Annie in a chair beside Bessie who were most likely looking at a map spread out in front of them.

Kennedy reached up to rub at her eyes and then, with what will she had left in her body, turned to slide out of the bunk as well as was almost more grateful than anything when people barely seemed to bat an eye. Annie did glance upwards though - only to send a small smile her way, in a notion of a morning greeting, if anything - she was always doing that, checking in, nodding, grinning.

That was Annie Bradshaw for you.

"Coffee, Farley?" Benny asked her, standing by the mini stove, lifting up a tin cup, "It ain't much, but still tastes a bit like coffee."

"With some imagination." Brady muttered as he sipped at his own cup of 'coffee'. Kennedy stood still for a moment, vaguely feeling Bucky's eyes on her, much more incredibly aware of the fact that sometimes he'd watch her without her even noticing. He'd probably done that before and she didn't even take a second to put it in her mind. Now, she could feel his eyes right on her as she walked over to Benny with a nod.

"Sure," she said, watching as he poured the cup of coffee and handed it over.

"Imagine there's cream and sugar in there." he told her with a smile.

"Whole lotta imagination this morning, huh?" Kennedy asked him with a chuckle as she gratefully took the cup and sipped some of it down, cringing a bit at the watery bitterness but relishing it none the less. It was liquid, caffeine and something to put in her stomach. She wasn't complaining.

Turning, Kennedy picked her way towards a spot at the table and looked across at Annie and Bessie who had Buck and Bucky crowded behind them, pouring over that map again.

"What's all that about?" Kennedy asked quietly, catching Annie's gaze as she looked up from the map.

"Bessie's been taking 'walks' with Hambone." Annie offered with a slight smile, "Has the entire camp mapped out - down to the detail. Gates, entrances, barracks, washing halls, the works."

"If we ever need…." Bessie started before dropping her voice, "some sort of means of escape." Kennedy glanced over at Brady who had stood and was now standing behind the two women, sipping his watery coffee and looking down at the map.

"Where are we putting it?" Brady asked her with a low voice - ideally Kennedy's own question.

"In my shirt," Bessie said, looking back up at him with a grin, "I don't need them doing what they did to us when they found Buck's radio, alright?" Brady met Annie's eyes it seemed for a split second before nodding at Bessie.

"We could also trade off - keep it hidden, they wouldn't guess," Brady offered settling beside Annie with a smile, "better to play a bit back at them with their own game."

"Yeah, well, that's if we can even find a way outta this shit hole." Bucky said settling down beside Kennedy, which undoubtedly made her heart pound a bit as she noticed Annie's watchful eyes on her, and Bessie's rather profound staring. The boys didn't appear to care nor were that observant to mind, but it was evident that Annie and Bessie had clued in.

"You think we could even get past those guys - weapons and all? Barbed wire? Their watch dogs, huh?" Bucky said, "I don't know if there's a shot even a mile away. Plus, where the hell would we go?"

"Just start moving west - towards France then." Annie supplied, her calming voice usually one that helped them all the breath a bit easier - its steady presence and calm confidence, "We do what we can. Not saying this is happening anytime soon, but….if the opportunity were to appear….." Brady glanced at Annie before looking at the group.

"We'll keep a plan set in place." Brady said quietly and Bucky seemed to agree with that.

"We'll keep it on the low-low," Buck said softly from his bunk, "there's no telling who is hearing what or what others are saying or thinking, alright?" A few whispered agreements of 'yes' wrung about.

People seemed to dissolve into their own conversations again, a few people stepping out for air, a walk about the place. Bucky turned to Kennedy and leaned up against the table with a wide grin her way. She watched him, unflinching and raised a brow.

"What's that look for?" she asked, taking a sip again of the watery coffee, before dropping her voice, "You were cuddled up to me all night, Bucky, you could keep the staring like that to a minimum." Bucky looked flustered for a second, caught off guard by her words, before smirking.

"Correction: you were the one cuddled up to me."

"You had your arms wrapped around me like I'd run away." she countered back.

"You weren't complaining."

"Your snoring wasn't making up for it." He stared at her as she said that and smiled wider.

"I know that look, Kenny," he said quietly, reaching up a finger to lightly tap under her chin, "don't tell me you didn't feel better protected from those nightmares, huh?" Kennedy's cheeks warmed and she shrugged her shoulders. She was quiet. She wouldn't lie.

"Gotcha there." he said quietly beside her with a chuckle, "Thanks for not punching me by the way." Kennedy looked at him and then gently gave a punch to his shoulder.

"Don't start doing things then that make you ask for it, got it?" she said, holding his gaze for a second longer than she should've, but there was something about that morning sleepiness still in his eyes that made her want to stare at him. In that quiet moment, she found herself smiling a bit. "You're still tired, you should lay down."

"Nah, I'm good." he said quietly, watching her back, with a nod, "I'm good just right here. You and me." Kennedy let out a small chuckle and nodded her head.

"Really?" she asked him with a growing smirk, "Seriously, go hit the hay for a bit."

"You wanna join me?" Kennedy gave him a punch to the shoulder.

"Bucky, be serious for a minute." she said, but couldn't hold back her bit of laughter as he smiled at her again.

"I am." he said with a wide smile, before leaning forward again, "You think this could be us? Back at Thorpe Abbotts? Drinking coffee together? Maybe back in the States?"

"Are you asking me out?" she said, almost half-jokingly, sipping the watery coffee again with a confident look his way - where that boldness had come from, she blamed the will of standing up against her brothers. But Bucky stared at her, face drawn into a serious look, before clearing his throat and letting out a laugh with a smile.

"If you put it that way…." he started and she shoved his shoulder again with a sigh, ignoring the fluttering in her chest and that look in his eye.

"I'm kidding, silly," she said and sipped the coffee again, something mindless to get her distracted, "seriously, go lie down. If they make us stand out there for hours again, you'll be dead on two feet."

"I already am." Bucky murmured with a chuckle and Kennedy sent him a look. He shrugged her off as he stood.

"If you ever wanna join, you know where to find me-"

"Bucky." muttered Kennedy, shoving his arm as he stood and he only laughed, before moving a few feet to pull himself onto the bunk and look at her. She stared at him and he smirked, before flipping over and letting out a sigh. Only then, did she sit there for a few moments and backtrack that entire conversation.

God help her.

[jeonminhao]

Home • Minghao

Pairing : Xu Minghao x Fem! Reader

Genre : angst, fluff

Word Count : 1.1K

TW : mention of depression(?)

A.N. I'm trying to go back to writing again, this time with Seventeen :) since I am back into the Kpop world lmao. Pls lmk what you think! <3

"I cry, even without tears now. I cry again, just like breathing. Though I try to take a step away from the sorrow that has become my home, I cry on the doorsill. I cry, even without knowing it myself."

Tablo - 집 (Home) (Feat. Lee Sora)

Minghao stood in front of the glass door, his eyes fixed on the CLOSED sign. The flower bouquet he had been holding was wet from the rain, the petals falling pitifully on the gray pavement from how tight he was clutching the bouquet. He was late. Again. And he wasn’t sure if he’ll be forgiven. He quickly took out his phone once he found a canopy that could shield him from the rain, reading the string of texts you had sent him hours prior.

I am here! It’s pretty crowded. I found a place at the very back of the restaurant so we can talk. Saw Jeonghan and Wonwoo at the restaurant and he said you’re still at the studio? Hao, Where are you?  Is everything ok? It’s been 2 hours so i guess this means you’re not coming or forgot we’re supposed to meet up :) I’m gonna head back home. I think it’s going to rain soon. Don’t forget your umbrella. Text me soon.

He sighed. He didn’t mean to ignore your texts. His phone was set on his usual silent mode whenever he was working on his paintings. He swore he had remembered that you were supposed to meet at 8 PM in this new place Mingyu recommended the other day. He didn’t know when you two started to make this a thing, trying new places once a week and just hangout and talk about your lives. No. He did know. It was your idea and your twinkling eyes that always looked at him as if he was loved and deserving of one. And who could say no to that? To your gentle smile and warm hand that always finds its way wrapped in his. And he did enjoy it. How couldn’t he? He fell in love with you the first time Jeonghan introduced you to the group three years ago and had been ever since. But life seemed to have a way to fuck up everything he desired. 

He knew a bad day was inevitable and the darkness that wrapped around him like a blanket was not an unfamiliar feeling. Every day seemed like a chore. It was just exhausting. Even breathing exhausts him. But he thought it would be different this time. He thought having you by his side would lessen the pain. And maybe it did, to an extent. But he was drowning and he was just exhausted to even want to try. 

As if it wasn’t enough, his art project wasn’t progressing as well as he’d like and he kept scraping layers of paints and changing his canvases when they finally gave up on him. He had destroyed a half finished painting due to frustration and would’ve destroyed the rest of his paintings if you didn’t knock on his studio door.

And in the midst of his worries and struggle, he started to push everyone away. It was better to be alone. The coldness in his heart was more familiar than the warmth of your embrace and he was terrified. It was too foreign for him, the happiness, the warmth, and the feeling of belonging, of being home. 

“Hao?” Minghao startled, eyes quickly focused on the familiar figure standing under a black umbrella. 

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” was all he could say, mouth forming an ‘o’ shape. You were supposed to be mad at him for forgetting your ‘adventures’ for the nth times. You were supposed to throw tantrums and threaten to block him and end this friendship. But there you were, standing in front of him with the black satin dress he bought for you last month and the leather jacket that he realized was also a gift from him. You took tentative steps towards him, a smile blooming in your face once you finally stepped under the canopy.

“You texted me?”

Minghao looked down at his cold hand, the phone on his hand was still on with your chat window opened.

‘Sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m late again. Iloveyou. I’m s osoorry.’

He didn’t even remember when he typed those texts nor did he remember pressing the send button despite the typos.

He reread his text again and froze. “Y/N–,” 

“Did you mean that?” You asked, taking another step closer and Minghao could smell the familiar perfume on you and the scent of your favorite shampoo. “Did you mean it when you said you love me?” You asked again, this time in a whisper. 

It had been 3 years, 970 days to be exact (not that Minghao is counting) since he first fell in love with you. And not once, even in his drunken state, did he let himself text you and confess. Especially not in such a dumb way. He prided himself as someone who was always in control of his emotions, keeping everything hidden to make sure you wouldn’t be uncomfortable. But there he was, sober and doing the stupidest thing a Minghao could do. Not even drunk Soonyoung would do this, he fleetingly thought before he turned his attention back to you. 

“I brought you flowers. They’re ruined. Sorry. I know i shouldn’t be late and forgot but everything has been shit and–”

“I love you, Minghao.” Your words stopped his trainwreck of a thought. His eyes widened as he looked at you. “I thought you hated going with me and doing this… But Jeonghan said you kept telling him about our time and he said you really love it. And I noticed you’ve been kinda withdrawn ever since I saw you at the studio. You do know you are not alone right, Minghao?” You took his hand in you. It was cold but it was okay. Minghao was Minghao and he was anything but cold to you. “ It’s okay to have a difficult time, but don’t forget you have a lot of people who would do anything for you.”

“This seems more like an intervention than a confession.” He blurted out before both of you burst into giggles, the cold rain suddenly didn’t feel so cold anymore now that he had wrapped his arms around you, the bouquet long forgotten on the wet pavement. 

“It’s both.” Was all you said before pressing your lips against him. A gentle and wary kiss, as if you were terrified he’d hate it. He let go of one hand and cupped your cheek, pulling you into a deeper kiss, sighing in relief, his body relaxing under your touch and heated kiss. Murmurs of apologies and I love you’s keep spilling out of his lips as your hand clutch the front of his sweater as if he was your lifeline. 

Maybe the unfamiliar was okay. Maybe he could get used to this.

[cherryrainn]

hello my friend!

first I just wanted to say i love your stuff, especially that whole multi-chapter fanfiction you wrote for the Once-Ler, you are an incredible writer! Sent me through every human emotion possible.

Here’s my ask, a gn! reader x Onceler (how do you spell his name 💀)

I was hoping it could just be some wholesome cuddles and lovey stuff, i’m a sap for soft stuff, possibly with some insecurity comfort? i’ve been struggling to like my personality and appearance for a long while, so that’d be wonderful!

Take your time, remember to take breaks, and don’t worry if you can’t do this ask, it’s no problem at all!

Much love! 💕

thank you for your kind words! writing that angst was so much fun, and i'm glad you enjoyed it. thank you for the ask, hope all is well <3

☽ ༚  ༵ ۰ ✧ ۰  ༵ ༚ ༵ ۰ ✧ ۰ 

— comfort's embrace

onceler x reader

the day had been a rollercoaster of emotions for you, wrestling with your insecurities and feeling weighed down by self-doubt. you sought solace in the comforting presence of onceler.

cuddled up on the couch together, his arm wrapped protectively around you, you snuggled into his side, finding comfort in his warmth. his fingers gently traced soothing patterns on your back, offering a comforting touch.

"i can tell something's been bothering you," he said gently, concern evident in his voice. "you know you can always talk to me about anything, right?"

you forced a smile, looking away. "oh, it's nothing, really. just some silly thoughts i've been having. nothing worth bothering you about."

onceler's grip tightened, pulling you a little closer. "hey now, don't downplay your feelings. i care about you, and your happiness is important to me. you don't have to face it alone."

a moment of silence passed, and the weight of your insecurities began to press harder. you sighed, finally giving in to the truth. "okay, maybe... maybe i've been struggling with my self-image a bit lately. i can't help but compare myself to others and feel like i fall short."

onceler's eyes softened, and he reached out to gently tilt your chin, guiding your gaze to meet his. "i get it. i get how tough that can be," he said, his voice filled with empathy. "and you're not alone in feeling that way. sometimes, i've got my own little battles with stuff like that."

you looked at him, surprise evident in your eyes. "you?"

a wistful smile crossed his lips. "growing up, my mom had a way of making me question myself. she'd tell me all the stuff i liked doing wasn't manly, and that my dreams are stupid."

you listened intently, feeling a sense of understanding wash over you. "that must have been really difficult."

onceler nodded, his gaze distant. "it was. but, i still love my mom. she might not always understand me or support everything i do, but she's still my mom, and i know she wants what's best for me in her own way." (yeah right)

his voice filled with empathy. "but let me tell you something: you're so incredibly special to me, just as you are."

you looked at him, a mix of vulnerability and hope in your eyes. "but what if I'm not enough? what if there's someone better out there?"

onceler shook his head, a determined look in his eyes. "no, don't say that. you're more than enough. you bring so much joy, warmth, and love into my life. there's no one else i would rather be with than you."

a tear welled up in your eye, and he gently wiped it away with his thumb. "i know it's hard to believe in yourself sometimes, but promise me that you'll try to see your worth and beauty. because i believe in you, and i'll always be here to remind you of how incredible you are."

you took a deep breath, allowing his words to sink in. "okay, i'll try," you whispered, feeling a glimmer of hope flicker within.

onceler leaned in, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead. "that's all i ask. and remember, i'm here to support you every step of the way. we'll work through these insecurities together."

and you rested against him, surrounded by his love and understanding.

[lumineescente]

Seungjin drabble (slowtober challenge)

hii im doing a thing called slowtober (made by @/oeildesaturne on instagram, french speaking folks check it out!! although be aware of tw mental health and eds talks) and i’m posting on twitter a seungjin au per word

I’m late in the updating on tumblr but for the seventh days (october 19th - 21st) the word was “ghost”

i was extremely tempted to write angst i'm not gonna lie, but i decided not to (because it is seungjin and they deserve all the sweetest thing in the world and no angst unless there is comfort) so i went on the other side of it - no pun intended there - and go for something very fun!

if you know new girl you'll recognize my inspiration btw

this is just a silly love confession gone wrong, haunted house funfair are involved and accidental hitting too!

oh btw when i'm done with this challenge i'll hold a little poll on twitter to see which drabble should be written as a whole fic!! so if you like it, you might want to follow this:) (or not) (like it's up to you)

and i keep forgetting to thanks everyone for their time hehe<3 i appreciate every likes!

AND if you enjoyed this challenge who is now over you can vote on this form for your favorite that I’ll be writing into a full fic on ao3! (“soumettre” is “submit” btw)

if you want to check all the drabbles you can go here

In Hyunjin’s opinion the funfair is more lame than fun, but he is here for Seungmin and it goes way above and beyond any lame thing he can attend. Even if it means ruining his Halloween night, and bringing all his friends into his doom, because Seungmin got this stupid job in a haunted house. The overwhelming romantic feelings, and painfully one sided, he has for his best friend of several years has obviously nothing to do with these kind of decision. Never. No matter what Minho would say about it. Or Felix, or Jisung.

Anyway, he twitches in his halloween costume. Way before this whole situation happened, Hyunjin had decided to make his costume a bit funnier than usual, when they were supposed to celebrate it in the warmth of a house, and had picked a slutty nurse costume. Except now the skirt is definitely way too short for his liking, showing too much of his legs and the autumn night has no mercy on his skin. He could have changed when he had known the plan would, but Hyunjin is terribly stubborn.

Parents of young children are looking at him with horrified eyes, he stands a bit taller in his costume. Although he is not sure if it is the slutty or the skirt part that horrifies them, he can bet that they would have been less upset about it if he had been dressed as a man. Fuck them.

“You look very sexy,” he hears Seungmin’s voice say to him.

“I’m also very cold,” he answers.

Seungmin sits down in front of him. Hyunjin is holding on to a cup of hot beverage like his life depends on it, maybe it does though. Seungmin is dressed as a ghost, well not like the easy kind, with just a white sheet or anything. For such a little funfair and a haunted house that is so tacky Minho has already told them he had went two times and had not been scared once, the make up artists and costumers are very good.

Hyunjin is a scaredy cat, he would rather die than enter the haunted house, it can be as predictable as possible he knows he will end up on the floor crying, so he would rather wait outside for Seungmin to be done.

“I have a coat that I don’t use,” Seungmin tells him, “does not suit the vibe very much, plus it’s hot in the house.”

Hyunjin shakes his head.

“Then die in the cold,” his best friend flatly says.

“Hey! Being sexy comes with a price.”

“You’d be sexy fully covered or dressed as a pumpkin, what you wear does not matter.”

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, “sexy pumpkin? Is that your thing?”

Seungmin blushes. Hyunjin can not see it under his make up but he knows him well enough to guess it. He feels proud of himself for that, if he can not do anything about his one-sided attraction at least he knows him better than anyone else, and knows exactly what to say at what time. So there is that.

“That’s not…” Seungmin stutters, “don’t be stupid! I’m just complimenting you.”

Hyunjin blinks several time, registering exactly what all of this meant. It is not unusual for Seungmin and him to compliment each other, even on their apparences. Well Hyunjin could never spend a day without telling Seungmin how handsome he looks (he makes sure not to make him uncomfortable of course), but there is something different in the tone of his voice. An embarrassment, or maybe it is the term that he has used. Hyunjin’s not sure.

“You think I’m sexy,” he says, “all the time.”

“Yeah, of course. You are so attractive it’s stupid, not that it’s the only thing that I like about you.”

Maybe the cold has frozen all his braincells, maybe but he does not react at all and Seungmin looks away.

“Sorry, forget about it,” he mutters, “I gotta go back to work, break is over.”

Hyunjin opens his mouth but nothing comes out and before he can do anything else Seungmin is gone. He stays still for a moment, trying to process what he has just heard.

“Hey,” Felix says.

His costume is way too complicated for the place they are, a cosplay from some video game he enjoys so much, and he struggles to sit down on the spot Seungmin has just left. He moves his hand in front of Hyunjin’s eyes when he has no answer, “Earth to Hyunjin?” he adds.

“Felix,” Hyunjin says in a very low voice that startles the latter, “is it possible that… maybe, Seungmin likes me?”

Felix’s hat almost drops off his head as he lets out the longest and deepest sigh he has ever had, “woh, the question is more is it possible that Seungmin does not like you? And the answer is no, by the way.”

“What do you mean?” Hyunjin asks, confused, “what do you mean?”

“Well I’m sorry to break it to you but you know every time you came to me crying because of your one sided feelings for Seungmin? They never were one sided.”

“Why didn’t you tell me??”

Hyunjin stands up, suddenly getting the control of his body back. The beverage falls down on the table spilling hot chocolate everywhere but he does not care.

“Hey! I tried! Don’t blame the messenger, you both are so oblivious it’s stupid and also kind of entertaining.”

“Fuck,” Hyunjin mutters already not listening to whatever Felix is saying, “I’ll be back.”

Without thinking he starts running toward the hunting house. There’s no need for a ticket since they paid to enter the place in the first place. He probably scares a bunch of kids and outraged some more parents but if he starts to think he will back down and he can not because Seungmin now is probably thinking that Hyunjin rejected him or something.

He regrets it immediately when he enters the house and the lights are shut down and the floor is cracking under his feet and he hears laughter in the echo, and screaming. His blood turns cold in his veins, he makes one step forward but something sticky touches him on the shoulder and he screams, painfully aware at how much skin is out to be touched. He wants to cry.

He is a man on a mission, so he does not and goes on, yelling for Seungmin’s name a bit louder every time something scares him (every two seconds).

Weird things are touching him, the floor is either too viscous or too thin, moving or painfully still, he tries not to lose his balance as fear entirely flood his brain. The noises are too loud between the children screaming in fear and the scary music and sounds everywhere. In theory he knows every trap he encounters are made up but it still works every time.

He enters a new room and feel a hand catching his shoulder and he does not think as he screams and pushes back. He hears a loud noise that has nothing to do with the haunted house, and a bunch of curses, and suddenly two people catch him and hold him on the ground. He tries to fight back but their hold is too strong. The lights are blueish in the room and his eyes have finally being used to the obscurity.

“Seungmin, are you okay?” someone says panic in their voice.

Hyunjin’s brain focuses back. In the side of the room he sees a silhouette getting up from the floor, helped by another one.

“Yeah, I’m fine I just hit my head on the side.”

“Oh my god,” he stutters, “I’m so sorry.”

The two people over him hold even tighter, he let out a scream of pain.

“Seungmin, it’s me,” he mutters, “fuck, I’m so sorry I just got scared!”

“Hyunjin?!”

He sighs as he recognize Seungmin’s voice.

“It’s me, are you hurt? Did I hurt you?”

“You can let him go,” Seungmin tells the two persons.

They seem unwilling to agree to that.

“Please,”  Hyunjin whimpers, overwhelmed by the entire situation and the fact that he still is terrified by the whole haunted house. “I’m really sorry.”

Eventually they do and Seugmin goes to his side, “why are you here? Hyunjin this is so…”

“I like you! Like more than a friend.”

He hates himself this is the worst way to confess to his long time crush. After hurting him and in the middle of a haunted house, in front of obviously very judgmental people right now. He can not blame them for that. Seungmin stares in disbelief.

“Is this why you pushed me?”

“No! This is because I was scared, I’m still very scared.”

Seungmin shakes his head but he faintly hears him laugh.

“Okay, I’m going to take a break and get checked by a doctor, okay?”

Everyone agrees to that. He then stares once again at Hyunjin who is still lying down on the floor.

“I’m wondering if you deserve to finish the haunted tour by yourself or…”

“I’m really sorry,” he repeats.

Seungmin extends a hand that he grabs and gets up.

“Fine,” he tells him, “but that’s because I like you like more than a friend too.”

The sparkles that Hyunjin feels in his heart manage to make the scary atmosphere fade away. Seungmin still holds his hand and he feels warm. He gets closer to him. Maybe the funfair is not that lame.

[babylovepresley]

thinkin’ about you — elvis presley x reader

summary: you are elvis presley’s former lover… at least you think you are. the year is 1960, and he is finally returning home from the service… but you haven’t heard from him since the day he left memphis and got on that plane nearly two years ago. what is left of you both?

word count: 2k

content warnings: 18+ sexuality mentioned, ANGST, possibly an unhealthy relationship, references to religion and god

read & listen along: https://open.spotify.com/track/1fDFHXcykq4iw8Gg7s5hG9?si=c2I7yoRJQMOSZEIrxLHCsg

writer’s note: hiya lovebugs! this is just a little something i conjured up when i was supposed to be doing homework (hehe), and i thought perhaps you’d all like to suffer with me. it’s not my best work, as i have had quite an overwhelming day and this is the best i could produce. this is my first fic posted, and i truly hope you all enjoy! remember requests are always open, and i am forever sending you all plenty of love and light!

dedicated to: my darling friends that promote my obsession with writing angst, though it hurts them in the end <3 (@eliseinmemphis my sincerest apologies lover)

It’s a cold day in March when he comes home; his hair wispy and long, touching the tip of his forehead beneath the large issued cap. When he first went away, the cap seemed to swallow his sleepy head and make him seem like the boy I first met all those years ago— when life was kind and he smiled with his tongue between his teeth. A patron moves to turn the television up, standing on the counter and nearly knocking over a young man’s grits that sat untouched on his plate. The soldier huffs and puffs as the camera follows him; his lean figure cutting through the tv and leaving an ache in me heart. Did the scars from our childhood playing wear off? Did the inside of his left pinky still glow red and raw from the movement of his ring? Does he still think of me?

He swallows, and my own throat constricts watching him. Life had become so difficult after he left— the beginning of us did not matter, I only wanted to get through to the end. And now we’re here, or rather he is. All I can do is stand and watch in our hometown diner, as he glows for the entire world. My coworker comes up beside me, placing her tray down on the crowded counter and side eyeing me.

“Yes Minny?”

“Sugar, I hate to do this… ‘specially today of all days… but—“ always walking on eggshells, Minny was. In fact, I’ve noticed that every other waitress today has been side-eyeing me with pity; wondering what I must have done to him to be here instead of greeting him with open arms, perpetually on my knees for him. The truth is I never did anything to him… and I guess that’s why he never found it important to write to me.

“You need me to close… don’t you?” I smile. I didn’t have it in me to be cruel right now, though I wanted to scream and cry can’t you see I’m busy lamenting a man I don’t know anymore?

“I’m sorry y/n, it’s just that my daughter wanted to stop by the Graceland gates tonight to.. well.. you know…” she trails off, itching an imaginary scratch behind her neck. It isn’t her fault that her daughter looks at him the same way I did, or still do. It’s been a long time since I’ve laid my eyes on him, and I wonder if they still fill with the warmth and affection I once saw him have for me.

“It’s okay Min, I don’t mind at all! I’ll probably just make a cup of tea for myself and clean the jukebox tonight… have a feeling I finally wanna clear out a certain someone’s records….” I giggle, though I’m laced with a bitter agony in my throat; I never wanted to hear his voice again, but I know one sound falling from his pouty lips would cause me to stare in adoration and declare my god, where have you been?

I turn my head back to the television, because I simply cannot bear not looking at him… not after three years of staring out the window and praying to God that he’d somehow be sitting outside my door, waiting for me all the while. He has changed so much; poised and gifted with the confidence that can only affect a young boy who dreamt of the strength and masculinity he exudes. He left me a scared boy, with heavy shoulders that I ached to massage into a restful stature, and came home a man; broad and unashamed. I simply can’t wrap my head around it as the camera pans to his face, spotted with the cold sting of snowflakes as he nods his head in thanks. It’s ridiculous.. I feel jealous of a force of nature simply because they get to live and die on him; when I have faced far more triumphs and little deaths as a result of his person.

Still, he looks afraid as he shuffles through the crowd of women waiting to grab at him. I feel nauseous just looking at it, and I find myself tugging at my uniform in an attempt to deflect from the obvious want situated in each woman's eyes. Many years ago, I would’ve moved through the sweaty crowd gathered by the gates of that airport, and used my handkerchief to wipe the nervous sweat on his eyebrow; my hands ever-so delicate on his cold cheeks. And he’d look up at me and smile, the apples of his cheeks pressing his eyes into a squint; “you miss me lil?”

But now I stand here, as unknown to the world as the words he said to me the first night he pulled me by bare chest to his and mouthed a sonnet only he could tell. Memphis has changed, he has changed, but I haven’t. Maybe that’s why he didn’t write. Maybe that’s why I’m living in the in between; Elvis’ girl or not? Lover or former flame?

The hours pass by with the creaking stools signaling the end and beginning of each meal, my nails making a dull clack against the cracking counter. Before I knew it, the street lights flickered to life, and my coworkers' cars pulled out of the lot, blowing kisses out their windows in a silly “goodnight!” gesture. The diner is lonely without the murmuring of the town, but I find it to be deeply comforting while I clean. The TV has been turned off, and the jukebox unplugged, leaving me with nothing but my pitiful thoughts and slight hiccups as I cry and clean the corner booth.

In the midst of my cry, for him, for me, for his Mother, and for any semblance of a future I had once dreamt of, I failed to notice the front door being pulled open and the slight ting of the bell. The wind from outside climbed my bare legs as I wiped, shouting out a quick “We’re closed honey, I’m sorry!”. Why look up when I always know who it’ll be— whether it be a neighbor, the town drunk or a church choir member.

“Oh… ‘m.. ‘m sorry” the stranger stumbles out, and I can physically feel the soft tapping of his loafers on the sticky linoleum floor. I’d know that voice in death, when the grim reaper kisses me goodnight, I’d be begging him “please.. let me hear his breath one last time”.

With all of my strength I turn to him, staring down my old hero. My spray bottle has long been abandoned, spilling on the floor beneath me and wetting the tips of my white shoe. I couldn’t care less. Nothing could’ve stopped me from following his voice— nothing could have prepared my heart for the sight of him in front of me. I feel the ache of my brows pulling down on my face, and the cold air drifts through my parted lips to remind me that this is real… he’s here. After all this time, he’s here. I’m silent as I watch him distribute his weight; left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot.

“Ya see me on TV today lil?” His thick voice cuts through the air; still gravelly from the cold morning air he sucked in earlier that day. A part of me wanted to coddle him; coo “oh poor baby” for the pain in his throat. But the other part of me wanted to laugh in his face at the incredulous question. In the end, that’s just what I did.

“Did I- Did I see you on TV Elvis?” I barely manage to get out, as my throat begins to constrict with sobs. Bastard. At least we both are in pain from the words we can’t say, I think to myself.

“W-well I noticed the TV ain’t on.. so I thought I’d ask…”

“You thought you’d ask me if the TV was off because you wanted me to watch you come home today?”

“Baby I know it ain’t been that long,” he chuckles, his hands digging deep into the pocket of his black slacks. I once sewed a hole he tore in those slacks, and I remember the way he kissed my cheek in thanks— I still feel the burn of his lips. “know my girl hasn’t gone all dumb on me”.

My girl. As if he had any right to call me that anymore. My anger bubbles to the surface, as the chemicals I dropped sting my nose. We stand polar opposites of one another. On one end of the diner, we have a lowly waitress who dreamt of a family and a small life but now spends her days covered in bacon grease for the creepy men in town to ogle at. On the other end, with hair still blown back from the influx of winter wind coming through the corner window, stands a god amongst men. He has the world in his hands, and it dawns on me that he could have any family or anyone’s life that he could ever want— small or large it wouldn’t matter, it’s all small to his strong flesh.

Unchanged in my agonizing swirl, I threaten, though no matter how hard I try I could never be crossed with him in tone, “You don’t get to call me that no more Elvis”.

He shuffles uncomfortably, and his lips curl inward with a tremble. He has taken an interest in the floor, and I wonder if he remembers the time he stayed here until 4 am with me scrubbing them down. He looks at the tiles just as intently as he did then, though now it seems like he feels just as dirty as them.

“I ain’t… I m-meant to write you y/n honest—“

“Oh you MEANT to write me, huh?”

“Yes! Yes I-I-I did I just got caught up ‘s all…”

“Caught up?”

‘Yes Lil! Caught up!” he extends his arms out to his sides; desperate for a positive response.

I can’t hold back the building sobs anymore, it hurts too much— makes me want to reach my arms out to him like a child and cry for help. I’ve bared my soul to him in far too many ways, and he deserves to see the mess he’s made of me.

“For two years E?” the tears sting my cheeks, as I hiccup in a breath.

For a moment, I see him take a step toward me. Ever the holder, Elvis always showed love through his touch. There would be nights I’d wake up sobbing and afraid at the idea of never getting to feel the velvety touch of his fingertips in or against me ever again. Those nights still haunt me, and the idea of him touching me is almost too much. No man has touched me since him, and I’ll never want anyone else to ever again. I move from his reach, and walk beside him with a wipe of my nose as he panics.

“B-Baby I tried! T- The Colonel”

“The colonel,” I stop in my tracks and smile spitefully with a small shake of my head “It’s always the Colonel E, isn’t it?”

“Oh c’mon y/n whas’ that supposed to mean?'' he follows behind me as I stomp past him and behind the counter, desperately grabbing at anything to appear unaffected; but he knows me. Elvis knows me more intimately than I know myself, and I’ve come to resent him for it. I can’t bear his cluelessness, and I can’t live with all of this hurt inside of me for any longer.

“ELVIS! He has taken EVERYTHING FROM YOU. Money, your Mother, your life, me! You’ll just let him take and take and take,” I throw the bulk of napkins across the counter and into his chest in anger, though I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt him. Strange how he seemed fine all the while I was dying for a single word from him. “until there’s nothing left of you— of us!”

I move around the counter, and it feels as if I don’t keep moving I’ll collapse in a heap of tears. My finger jabs into his chest, and he flinches with the intrusion. For the first time tonight, I see tears forming in his eyes, yet his stained cheeks indicate they have been falling for a long time as he struggles to inhale from his own pitiful, silent sobs.

“One word from you Elvis, that’s all I wanted.” I sob, barely coherent as I lay my hands on his chest. He grabs them, and the shift in my stomach nearly makes me lurch in pain. I feel him now, so real and warm and so mine. I could never forget his touch, and now that I have it again I doubt I’ll be able to breathe without it. We cry quietly for a moment, holding one another as if we were foreign to each other; like he hasn’t consumed by body and soul whole and left it to rot in his chest.

It’s silent save for his uneven breathing and the gentle scuff of my feet; unable to stay still as my body betrays itself. I pull away, and he mumbles a “no, no honey stay” as I wipe my eyes and regain my strength. He paws at my apron, trying to pluck me closer before I scold him for his mistakes.

“Elvis, please just go. I-I’ve lived without you, I’ve cried each time I saw your house, or-or heard your records. I’ve grieved you before you were even gone, and I know I can do it again. So please baby, please just go” I whimper out, smoothing down my skirt and pinching my thighs beneath the frilly mess. I can’t look at him, though my eyes thirsted for the pinch of his brow for so long.

There are very few women who can say Elvis Presley laid himself in front of her and wept. I’ve seen him cry before, in fear and anger, and each time I have taken him into my arms and quelled him into relief. But nothing could prepare me for the sight laid out before me.

My man, a god, falls to his knees in front of me and cries with outstretched palms, “Do ya think I’ve forgotten ‘bout you?”

His eyes appear to burn as they flutter closed with a gulp, his large hands gripping onto the bottom of my skirt, “Oh God baby, ‘ve messed up somethin’ awful, I know.” he cries out, wiping his nose with his sleeve like a boy. A chuckle builds in my chest at the antic, as it reminds me of the boy I’ve cried for all along. He licks his lips, panicking at the thought of rejection. “ ‘ve always tried to be so good for ya and look what I’ve done now… look what your satnin’s done now…” He chokes out, ever the fallen angel.

His arms wrap around me, and I stumble forward with the force of his pull. It’s no use in fighting, I think to myself, I can never purge myself from the feeling he gives me. I don’t think I’ll ever want to— I can never shed the feel of him. The feel of Elvis; an irrevocable heartbreak. My upper body falls on top of him, my breasts pressed against his strong shoulder as my hands slide flat down his back; the wool of his jacket slightly burning my wrists. I feel his cries against my hips, as his arms lock around the backs of my legs; hands clasped in fear that I’ll soon pull away. His shoulders shake as I lean over him, and chills run down my flesh as his thumbs soothe the backs of my thighs.

Against my skirt he wails, “Kiss me. Please God, kiss my sins away. ‘ve done so bad by you baby— let me know I ain’t the devil incarnate..” his nails dig into the thickness of my thighs in desperation.

Who am I to deny him?