#WHERE HAVE PEOPLE BEEN WATCHING THE FIRST EP
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uuuhhhhhm can i pretty pretty please with cherries on top request a Dae-ho x reader where the reader was also in the military? but its like that ep. where they revolutionized? if that makes sense? idk i think it be cool if reader eas good eith a gun
anyways HAVE A LOVELY DAY/ NIGHT love reading your stuff (i binge read it :p)
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
pairing: Kang Dae-ho x gn!reader
summary: As a former soldier, you know just what to do when all hell breaks loose.
word count: 3.7k
warnings: guns, death, blood, squid game stuff, panic attacks, ptsd
A/N: i've played so many shooting games i feel like i've been training to write this fic my entire life. i even named it after a shield from my favorite game (brownie points if you know which game). if you find any mistakes no you didn't <3 tried to make this gender neutral but if you find any slip ups lmk so i can fix it
**this can be read as romantic or platonic**
You look at the woman standing between bunks with wide eyes. You weren't sure earlier when you saw her on the screen, but seeing her standing ten feet away from you, you're absolutely positive that you know who this is.
"Sergeant?"
Cho Hyun-ju turns and gasps when she sees you, a smile lighting up her face. She quickly embraces you, you happily hugging her back. You were always her favorite soldier (she never admitted it, being the sergeant of the Brigade, but you both knew she liked you best). You were one of the only people who supported her when she came out. You tried to fight against her discharge but, as a low-ranking soldier, you had no say in the matter.
"I knew it had to be you!" you say, pulling back with a smile. "When I saw someone go back into the playing field to help a guy with only ten seconds left, I just knew it was my sergeant!"
"It's good to see you," she says. "Though, I wish it was under better circumstances."
You nod solemnly. You had just watched at least a hundred people die while screaming and begging for their lives. As a former soldier, it was hard that you couldn't do anything to help the civilians. All you could do was stand there and listen to the screams and gunshots, and then the silence.
"How are you here? Are you not part of the Brigade anymore?" Hyun-ju asks.
You shake your head. "No, I actually left not long after you were discharged. It wasn't the same without you, and I just couldn't be civil with the others after how they treated you."
She nods, understanding. "Well, if I'm going to be here with anyone, I'm glad it's you. I trust you with my life, soldier."
You smile. "And I you, Sergeant."
<>
You and Hyun-ju had made it through the next two games together, along with some allies you made along the way. Together with Young-mi, Yong-sik, and Geum-ja, you had been the first team to succeed in the six-legged pentathlon.
You had also made it though Mingle with some new allies, though not all of your old allies made it. Young-mi's death was hard on your whole group, but Hyun-ju had been taking it the worst. While you had grown closer with Yong-sik and Geum-ja, she had formed a special bond with the young girl and had to watch her die right in front of her.
While you would like to take the time to mourn Young-mi, a lot has happened in the few hours since the third game ended. The vote on whether to go home or stay ended in a 50-50 tie, meaning you're going to have to redo the vote tomorrow. Then, a huge fight apparently broke out in the men's bathroom, leaving five players dead.
Both sides group together to count their numbers, and you find that there's now one more X than O. While the players around you celebrate, a feeling of dread shoots through you.
"Attention please. Lights out in 30 minutes. All players, please return to your beds and prepare for bedtime."
Shit.
Player 047 stands in front of the group. "Listen, you cannot change your minds. We have to win the second vote and get out of here tomorrow, alright?"
As the other players around you nod and move to their beds, you stay sitting, watching the O players. They're already looking at your group. Watching. Waiting. You look at Gi-hun, the previous winner, and know that he's thinking the same thing you are.
<>
"Those bastards are acting suspicious," Dae-ho says, returning to the small circle you formed on the ground. "It looks like they're up to something."
Jung-bae breathes out a laugh. "Whatever those idiots do, once we win the vote tomorrow, it'll all be over."
"You think we'll be okay?" Dae-ho asks, concerned. "They say things were really crazy in the bathroom earlier."
"We need to be ready," you say from your place between Dae-ho and Gyeong-seok. "They've been watching us since the moment they found out the prize money goes up if we kill each other."
The group around you tenses before Gi-hun speaks up as well. "Once the lights go out, people on the other side will attack us."
"Really?" Yong-sik asks from beside his mother.
Gi-hun nods. "Because if they kill us, they'll be able to win the vote and increase the prize."
"So what do we do?" Yong-sik asks.
"Let's attack them first," Young-il suggests. "They're probably thinking we'll just wait for the second vote. We can use it to our advantage. We'll attack them first once the lights go out."
"That's right," Player 047 says. "It'd be better to attack them first. We have more women and elderly on our side. If we get attacked we'll be at a disadvantage." You send him a glare that makes him freeze for a moment before continuing. "Attacking them first would give us a better chance of winning."
"I agree," Player 145 adds.
"We can't do that," Gi-hun says.
"But we have to get out of here," Young-il argues. "You said it yourself. Staying calm won't get us anywhere now."
"That doesn't mean we should kill each other," Gi-hun says. "That's exactly what they want us to do."
Jung-bae leans forward. "'They'?"
Gi-hun looks at him. "The ones who created this game." He turns to face the rest of the circle. "The ones who watch us play. If we're going to fight someone, it should be them."
It's silent before Dae-ho speaks up. "Where are they?"
Gi-hun looks to the ceiling. "Up there."
You all follow his gaze before looking around at each other.
"On the upper levels," Gi-hun says, "are the rooms they control the games from. The man in the black mask is their leader. Once we capture him, we'll be able to win."
"How are you going to fight them?" Young-il asks. "They have guns."
"We'll fight them with guns, too," Gi-hun says.
"But we don't have any," Jung-bae says.
Gi-hun turns to him. "We'll take their guns."
You and Hyun-ju look at each other. This is what you were trained for.
"From those masked men?" Gyeong-seok asks nervously.
Gi-hun nods.
"That's too dangerous," Young-il says. "Even if we manage to take a few guns, we'll still be outnumbered."
"What then?" Gi-hun argues. "Are you going to kill each other all night and hope you survive? Is that what you want, Young-il?"
Hyun-ju breaks the silence. "Do we... stand a chance?"
"We do if we catch them off guard," Gi-hun says. "Out of everyone, they're the ones who would least expect us to attack first. This is our last chance to end these games once and for all."
"How are you going to take their guns?" Young-il asks.
"Once the fight begins tonight, we'll have our chance."
<>
"Lights out in ten seconds."
"Ten,
nine,
eight,
seven,
six,
five,
four,
three,
two,
one."
The lights dim, then turn off completely, leaving only the red and blue lights from the floor.
You roll out of bed, getting under the frame. You feel someone else trying to get under your bed, and you move a bit to make room for Dae-ho. Just as you get in position, you see bodies creeping towards your side of the room, illuminated by the bright blue O on the floor.
There's a scream, and all hell breaks loose.
The lights strobe as you hear the sounds of screaming and bottles being smashed coming from all around you. Somewhere to your right, a bunk is toppled over, sending someone to the ground. Another player runs up to them, stabbing their fork into their neck.
You feel the ex-Marine next to you tense up and put a hand over his, trying to bring him some comfort, or at the very least trying to keep him from blowing your cover.
You hear the buzzer of the door and the lights come on. One of the soldiers fires into the air to stop the fighting as about twenty masked guards come into the room, all armed.
You quickly army crawl out from under the bed, Dae-ho following you as you lay down on the ground.
You hear footsteps getting closer to you, and your ear is moved as a device scans behind it.
You open your eyes, grabbing the soldier so they can't move. "Dae-ho! Now!"
The ex-Marine smashes a bottle over the head of the guard, knocking him unconscious. You take the opportunity to grab the submachine gun off of the soldier, shooting another soldier coming toward you and Dae-ho. You're so focused on the fight that you fail to notice the quivering boy holding his hands over his ears against the bunks.
Grabbing another gun, you quickly scale one of the bunks to get a better vantage of the fight.
"Sergeant!" You yell, gaining the attention of Hyun-ju. She looks to you and you toss the SMG to her. She drops her pistol and catches the weapon, turning just in time to shoot one of the pink guards coming for her.
You use your position to fire at the guards hiding behind bunks. You pull the trigger until you hear a click, cursing as the mag runs empty. You jump down from the bunk, using the butt of the gun to knock a guard out cold. You quickly take his ammo and reload your own gun, firing at a guard trying to shoot Gi-hun.
"Retreat. Retreat."
The voice over the intercom announces and the pink soldiers make their way towards the door. You're able to shoot two more, but most of the soldiers who are still alive are able to make it out of the room. The main guard with the square on his mask is too busy firing back to realize that the door has closed behind him, sealing him in the room with you just as he runs out of ammo.
"Stop! Hold fire!" Gi-hun yells.
Jung-bae and another player run over to the square guard, making sure he won't fight.
"You goddamn bastards!" you hear someone yell on the other side of the room and turn to see Player 047 aiming his gun at a bunch of O players.
"No!" Gi-hun yells, stopping the man before he can shoot. "This is not what we took these guns for. If we do this, we'll be no different from those masked men."
Player 047 lowers his gun, hanging his head and he softly cries.
Gi-hun steps to the center of the room. "Everyone! Don't be scared. Gather round, please! We're not trying to hurt you!"
You walk to stand by Hyun-ju and Gyeong-seok.
"Get the guns and ammo from the dead," she tells the both of you.
You nod, doing as your sergeant says while she takes out the cameras in the room.
<>
Placing one of the last guns on the mattress in the center of the room, you move to stand in line between Jung-bae and Dae-ho, handing the extra SMG in your hand to Dae-ho.
Gi-hun steps forward. "Everyone. We will now head up to the masked men's headquarters. We'll capture the ones who captured us, put an end to this game, and make them pay. Anyone who knows how to use a gun and wishes to join us, please step forward."
You look at the crowd in front of you, but everyone stays where they are.
"Hey," you hear a voice next to you say and turn your head to see Jung-bae stepping forward. "I know you're scared. I'm scared too. But this may be our last chance to make it out of this place alive. Fight with us so we can go home together. All together."
One of the players in the back of the crowd steps forward. "I'll fight with you."
Gi-hun waves at him to come and take a gun. Two other players come forward as well.
You watch as Yong-sik makes a move to step forward, but he catches your gaze as you shake your head at him. It's very brave of him to think about volunteering, but he hasn't even served his mandatory military service yet, and it would kill his mother if he didn't come back. You breathe a sigh of relief when Yong-sik stays where he is.
When it's clear that no one else is stepping forward, Gi-hun turns to you all. "Please check your guns and ammo."
"Let's take one radio each," Jung-bae says. "We'll use channel 7, the lucky number."
You put the strap of your gun around you, checking the mag and putting it back in place when you're satisfied with the amount of ammo that is left. You look to your right to see Dae-ho fiddling with his own gun. Just as you're about to help him, Hyun-ju steps forward.
"Attention," she says, holding up her gun. "This is the MP5, a submachine gun." She continues on the demonstrate how to load the weapon and set it to the mode you should be using. When she's done, she looks at you all. "Are we clear?"
"Yes," you answer, falling right back into the rhythm with your sergeant.
Hyun-ju nods to you, silently telling you to stay by her when you get out there.
"How do you two know each other?" Dae-ho questions, his voice a bit shaky.
You smirk, cocking the MP5. "I was in the 13th Special Missions Brigade. Hyun-ju was my sergeant."
Dae-ho stares at you, completely stunned. "You were in the Decapitation Unit?!"
You chuckle at his disbelief, nodding.
The man can't believe it. He's been bragging about being an ex-Marine while there's been two ex-Special Forces soldiers right next to him the whole time.
Gi-hun points a pistol at the square-masked guard. "Take it off."
The guard slowly removes his mask, revealing a boy no older than 25.
"Good God," Jung-bae says. "Do your parents know what you're doing here?"
The guard just stares at him.
Gi-hun cocks the pistol. "Take us to your captain."
<>
"All players, it is bedtime now. Please return to your quarters immediately. Otherwise, you will be eliminated from the game. Let me repeat..."
Gi-hun fires at the speaker, effectively shutting up the voice. Three guards are stood over you. "Get down!"
You duck behind the wall of the stairs. Feeling a hand on your shoulder, you turn to look at Hyun-ju behind you.
"Cover me!"
You nod, shooting at the guards while she sprints to the top of the stairs. From her new vantage point, she is able to take out one of the guards, causing their body to fall over the ledge and down to the floor.
When you duck down to reload, you see Dae-ho next to you. The ex-Marine is sitting in a ball, covering his ears and flinching every time a shot rings out. You look at him with concern, but your attention is stolen by Gi-hun telling everyone to hold their fire. Dae-ho gets a grip on his weapon and you all move, following Gi-hun and the un-masked guard.
As you move down an alleyway, Gi-hun stops the guard. "How much farther? Is this the right way?"
The boy points toward the end of the hall. "The entrance to the management area is around that corner. The control room is right above it."
Gi-hun pushes him. "Move it, then!"
"Wait," the guard says, reaching toward his pocket.
"What are you doing?" Gi-hun stops him.
"I need my mask to pass security," the guard explains. Gi-hun nods and the guard takes the mask out. He looks up, but before he can say anything else, a bullet goes right through his head.
You all take cover as more shots are fired at you. Something slashes onto your face, and you turn to see Player 072's lifeless body falling to the ground.
You drop the floor and crawl over to Hyun-ju, both of you taking positions in a green square area of the stairs. You nod to each other and duck out of cover, firing at the guards. You can hear the men speaking to each other at the other end of the line, but you focus on taking out as many guards as possible.
You and Hyun-ju alternate firing and taking cover, both of you shooting with deadly precision, doing your best to not waste any of the already low supply of ammo you have.
A player next to you screams and is shot. You turn, shooting at the guard approaching from your rear, taking out a few that are behind that one as well.
"Everyone! Check your magazines!" Hyun-ju calls out.
You take the mag out of the gun, seeing that you have about half of a clip left. Everyone announces that they're around the same.
"Young-il, Dae-ho, can you hear me?" The voice of Jung-bae erupts from your radio.
"Go ahead!" Young-il says.
"I think we're right below the control room." Shots can be heard in the background. "But we need backup and more ammo."
"We're running out of ammo, too!"
"There should be spare magazines in the soldiers' pockets in our quarters. Go get them!" Gi-hun yells through the radio.
"Did you hear that?" Young-il turns to the group. "They need backup! Three of us will go, and the rest will stay! Join us once you get the magazines! Who wants to go with me?"
Players 047 and ... volunteer and they run off towards the end of the hall.
"I'll go get the magazines!" Hyun-ju yells. "I'll come back as soon as I can, so just hold on until then!"
"Hyun-ju!" A voice yells. You turn to see Dae-ho raising his hand. "I'll go!" He hurries over to where you and Hyun-ju are taking cover. "I- I'm out of ammo."
"Do you know the way?" Gyeong-seok asks. Dae-ho nods.
"We destroyed the cameras on the way, follow them," Hyun-ju says.
"I'll go with him," you say. "I still have some ammo, so I'll cover him."
Hyun-ju nods. "I'll cover you. Go!"
You and Dae-ho take off down the stairs. He stops a few times, but you pull him along, keeping your eyes up to watch for the broken cameras. As you're running down the stairs, Dae-ho stops, and you turn to see him staring at a dead guard hanging over the ledge of a window.
"Dae-ho!" Jung-bae yells. "Can you hear me? Where are those magazines?"
You lift your own radio to your mouth. "We're getting them now."
"Alright! We're counting on you!"
You put your radio back in your pocket, grabbing Dae-ho's hand and pulling him along behind you.
You burst into the quarters, letting go of Dae-ho's hand as you sprint to a guard, taking the spare mags out of their pockets. You hear someone say your name and look up to see Yong-sik.
"What happened? Why are you back by yourselves?"
"We're low on ammo," you say, not looking up from the guard you're looting. "We need to get the magazines from their pockets. Help us!"
You look up to the boy to see him nod and run over to a nearby guard. Geum-ja and Jun-hee come over to the help, as well.
Once you've looted all the ammo from the guards, you place them into a jacket you found on one of the dead players. You tie it up and give it to Dae-ho, thanking the others as you lead him out of the room.
Gunshots can be heard as soon as you step outside. You keep moving but when you check behind you, you see that Dae-ho has stopped where he is.
"Dae-ho, we need to go," you urge.
He looks at you silently, but the fear in his eyes sends the message. You've seen soldiers like this before you joined the Special Forces.
Dae-ho stands in his spot, paralyzed other than the shake of his body in fear.
You hear your name and Dae-ho's through the radio. "Where are you? Can you hear me?"
You watch as Dae-ho lifts his radio, staring at it as Hyun-ju's voice comes through.
"Did you find the magazines? Are you on your way?"
Dae-ho looks at you. "I'm sorry," he whispers, dropping the radio on the ground and running back into the quarters with the magazines.
"Shit," you say under your breath. You follow Dae-ho into the room, looking around to find where he went. Yong-sik points toward a bunk and you find Dae-ho curled up there, rocking back and forth. Running over to him, you take the jacket with the mags, ready to run out of there. You take a look at Dae-ho, the pure fear coursing through him as he whispers apologies over and over.
You sigh, remembering one of the lessons Hyun-ju taught you as your sergeant.
Never leave a man behind.
Taking out your radio, you bring it to your lips and press the button. "Charlie Foxtrot."
You put your radio down, knowing that Hyun-ju will know what to do. You had picked up the phrase from your U.S. counterparts, saying it to each other when something goes wrong.
Moving to sit on the bed, you take Dae-ho's hands into yours. "Dae-ho, I need you to breathe with me, alright."
He slowly looks at your face before launching himself into your arms, sobbing into your shoulder. You rub his back comfortingly, knowing you can't leave him alone like this.
After a few minutes, Hyun-ju runs into the room shouting you and Dae-ho's names. She comes running over to you, stopping when she sees Dae-ho in your arms.
"What happened?"
Dae-ho jumps a bit at the new voice, burying his face farther into your jacket.
You look up a Hyun-ju, shaking your head at her. She nods, understanding. You point at the magazines and she scoops them into her arms, ready to take them to the others when the buzzer for the door goes off and more pink guards enter the room, firing in the air and making everyone scream.
Hyun-ju reloads her SMG, ready to take on the entire group on guards by herself. You watch as Geum-ja puts a hand on her shoulder, stopping her.
"You can't die like this."
You sigh in relief as Hyun-ju puts the gun down. From your hidden area, you try to get the guns and mags away from you, making it seem as though the three of you have been here the whole time.
As the guards come further into the room, you use your body to shield Dae-ho from them as he whimpers. You make eye contact with Hyun-ju. Whatever happens next, you'll face it as a team.
~
Dae-ho tags: @whatthefuckeryfuckityfuck @ally1uvsu @thebiggestigurosimp @come-as-you-are-111 @hiphip-horray @k1michii @tpwkcaryslizb @louissst28 @sshwaa @jennwonwoo @sunnysurvives @lalalaa2210 @tayshs @sunshinethatlooksalive @plntmxrss @lxnnrobin @mariaxman @alexx-iia @batty-barty-crouchjr @kxsm3t @takuma-talkz @peacemakersbeloved @skywalker0809 @soobinbunnie5
#squid game#squid game 2#player 388#squid game season 2#dae ho#dae-ho#kang dae ho#dae ho x reader#kang daeho#squid game fanfic#squid game x reader#squid game s2#daeho#daeho x reader
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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[through gritted teeth] i am so normal about this
#no no no it's just like....#the difference between just these two instances from s1 to s3 is FASCINATING to me#he's not asking in the first he's just stating a fact and he's having his belief confirmed#(by a man who's now almost definitely going to be in jail for the rest of his life -#the less extreme of the worst case options jane's had in his head but still nothing to scoff at) he's told with passion and conviction that#the revenge was worth the cost; that he doesn't regret it in the slightest; that it was 'redemptive')#and that's exactly what jane thinks that's what he's built his life around for the past - at least 5? - years#but he IS asking in the second; it's years after the first and he's not the same man he was then#he does still believe in vengeful justice i think but it's not just him that he has in mind now#there's other people to consider - people that found their way into his head and his heart (despite any of his efforts to the contrary)#and he's asking this question to a man who's just been cleared of all charges (were they murder charges? idk i need to watch that ep again)#it's not just him he's thinking of now and it's not just the most concrete costs either#it's....idk it's a shift from the objective costs to the emotional costs; it's the shift from being told to asking i'm just obsessed#(also interesting that these are both men when the only time i can think of off the top of my head where he has this kind of interaction#with a woman is the s1 country club episode? the one with liz forbes? where she breaks down and says it doesn't change a thing#that's a completely new tilt to it too that's something to consider all of this actually has no point but where else am i gonna say it)#tm
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i can’t tell you how much i usually hate these ignoring, distancing plots in shows and how much i absolutely adore everything about these 2 episodes of the eighth sense. like im not having a good time, and it’s fantastic.
bc the thing is, in all of this, i can’t see the right way to go, i can’t find the person to blame, i can’t find the way to make it better. I can’t single out a single moment or a thing someone did and say “this is why everything went wrong”. it’s just this coming together and rise and swell of things happening and people feeling things that has us ending up here and it feels beautifully and horribly organic bc we can’t find that point where it all went wrong. was it on that rooftop? was it at the beach? was it when they first met? was it when his brother died? was it when he was born into this family? there is no single point. it’s all of them and it’s none of them. there is truly nothing and no one to blame. and there are bad characters in the show, people you can hate, eunji and taehyung, but neither of them are to blame for any of the bad stuff that happens in the show. you’re not waiting for them to be taken down bc that doesn’t solve anything. instead, it’s just two people hurting, and not knowing how to make it better.
bc you take jaewon, and after what he says at the end of ep 8, you want to hate him, you want to be so angry at him for what he says, for how he acts, how dismissive and hurtful he is, and yet you’ve been made to understand 100% why, and not just in a “i get it but that wasn’t the right thing to do” way, in a “that was horrible and yet i know he doesn’t see any other way to handle this” way. like you don’t see this as a misstep, or a step to far, bc you know for him, in his state of mind, it is completely justified, it’s necessary. bc it not only punishes the person he blames for all of this, himself, but he sees it as a way to protect jihyun. and not even in a cliche “bad things happen when people around me, the people I love always get hurt” kinda way, but more so in that he sees that he is a scared, messy, struggling person that doesn’t know how to handle himself, and doesn’t want to inflict that on anyone, let alone the person he cares about. so what’s worse, a quick, swift blow that hurts but cuts everything off cleanly, or this prolonged relationship where he inevitably continues to weigh jihyun down with the weight of his trauma, and take it out on him. what’s the point of having a place of refuge when you ruin it more and more every time you depend on it, until it eventually can’t offer you comfort. it’s a lesser of two evils, jaewon’s choice is obvious to him.
but then you take jihyun. and we talk about masks and fronts but we never once question whether jihyun wears a mask bc he appears so sweet and innocent and naive, what can this boy possibly be putting up a front for. but i see it, this almost fake it till you make it confidence front that yes is becoming more natural. but my god just think about what he’s gone through for a second. think about it. left home for the first time in his life, moved to an unfamiliar and intimidating city with only one other person he knows, started a new job, started university, tried to build relationships, met a man that intrigues him, and perused him only to be kissed and then ignored, then maybe establish something tentative, only to then see him spiral, go on a trip where he shared his trauma, you have an intimate night together only to almost die, and then be not only ignored, but plain and simple rejected and pushed away. like… you can say all you want about jihyun growing as a person and having more courage, but no amount of growth for however many months this has been going on for can prepare you for that. for the mixed messages on steroids. for the back and forth, not knowing. to give yourself to someone like that and go through something traumatic and then be abandoned by that person. we get it, bc we see all of jaewon’s story. but apart from what jaewon shared at the beach, jihyun doesn’t know any more than that. he doesn’t know about therapy, about how his father acts towards him, about the extent of his trauma and how it manifests and affects his mental health, and how he is struggling every single day. and you can’t expect him to know the depths of that no matter how empathetic and connected he is, how much he cares about jaewon, he can’t be superhuman. and so you get why he pushes and fights for jaewon. like… he is in love. it’s clear. he’s fallen in love with him. he is this wide-eyed, open kid that fell in love with a senior. and jaewon has just messed with his head, he’s never been clear, and you can’t expect jihyun to just get past that bc he knows something is up with jaewon. he can’t know the full story, but even if he did, that can’t be a reason or a justification to be treated the way jaewon treats him. bc we’re all about jaewon putting himself first and doing what he wants and respecting himself like that, but jihyun deserves that too. and it’s such a fine line to tread when you know someone is going through something, bc again you understand why, but you’re still the one being treated that way. like we talk about jaewon’s trauma, but here jihyun was part of it, he went through that traumatic experience. he’s the one that nearly lost his life. and yes, he appears to handle it well, and no matter to what extent that’s true or not, you can’t not look at jaewon struggling and understand it and then not look at jihyun with that same understanding. it’s not about comparing trauma and pain and deciding who is suffering more, it’s seeing that there are two people in this, and they’ve both been affected, so we should give them the same level of understanding.
and that’s something jaewon has to see. that his self-preservation is selfish. that his destructive behavior doesn’t just affect jihyun, instead it feels pointed and directed, bc every way jaewon hurts himself hurts jihyun. and it comes bc jihyun was so much of what was good about jaewon’s life for a second, so attacking that is his only form of self-sabotage. he can’t mess up his relationship with his friends or parents bc they were broken in the first place, and he can’t sabotage his future bc it’s already been ruined the moment he didn’t pursue his photography major. him nearly getting kicked out of school affected him so little not just bc he wanted that punishment, but bc even that punishment meant so little to him. all these things are established and they already contribute to his suffering. removing jihyun from his life is the only active thing he can do to make himself feel worse, and he can veil it in an act of protection, and even feel like he’s doing the right thing, but that deceives them both into believing this is done from a good place, when no good can actually come of it. in trying to protect jihyun, you hurt him more. in trying to hurt yourself, you hurt him too. and when someone is in a headspace like jaewon is, you look for that thing that’ll break through. bc he is so distant, he’s trying to remove himself from reality, and jihyun needs to act as this person that can anchor him to it. when you’re trying to isolate and separate yourself, sometimes seeing that you still affect things, that there’s a persons that exists that is affected and hurt by your actions, and no matter how you try to cut yourself off, you cannot stop that, separating yourself still hurts them, maybe that’s a thing that can get through. but that’s something that depends on jaewon. ultimately, he’s the only one that can get himself out of this place, and that’s what makes it so hard, that no matter how much jihyun cares and how much he fights for him, nothing can come of that effort is jaewon doesn’t meet him there. and it’d be so easy for jihyun to give in, to take the hurt, but over the course of this show we’ve seen the strength jihyun has developed, which has only seemed to increase more so after the accident, call it a renewed vigor for life or something. he has the strength that jaewon doesn’t, to not let his pain consume him. and in a beautiful full-circle moment, it’s because of jaewon, bc when they first spoke he sparked in jihyun a want to be stronger, to be more than the country mouse, and he’s done it. and it’s that courage that means he can fight for jaewon, even in the face of rejection. he trusts himself and that he knows jaewon, the real jaewon, to see past words that are intended to hurt them both, and go after the person that’s still inside jaewon somewhere. no, he can’t do it for him, and no them being together is not some magical cure for jaewon, but it’s what can put him on a path of caring for himself again, and sometimes that has to start with caring about someone else (and suddenly I’m reminded of my beautiful man 2 and how kiyoi tries to break hira out of his worthless mindset by making him care about him, and how ultimately that can’t be enough, and that hira has to take those first steps of seeing his self worth by himself). what jihyun can do by fighting is again act as that tether to reality and try to be this representation of the good jaewon can be and do. bc look at jihyun, look at how confident and strong he has become, and look at how he got there, bc you saw that country mouse and gave him the time of day and helped him grow and gave him new experiences. you jaewon, you. and that shift in mindset, from jihyun representing hurt and the accident and the trauma of his brother and everything he can’t do, to being that light and refuge and everything he can do is again something that might breaks through. and the fact it has such narrative strength and satisfaction makes me hopeful that that’s what we might actually get.
#I did a rant#I’ve done a lot of rants actually they’re all just sitting in my notes bc they all got a little too much#my thoughts are a literal mess and I am still struggling to put them in all the right words#mostly bc the way jaewon is behaving and not to be too overinvolved is very reminiscent of *me*#and so watching him shut down and remove himself knowing it’s something i do is hard and frustrating#and I did a whole rant about it but I realised I need to separate myself from the character to be able to talk about it#so yeah#I really wanted to bring up jihyun tho#bc he presents as so strong in these two eps but you cannot argue against what he’s been through and the effect that would have on anyone#and try to see it from a perspective where we don’t know what jaewon is going through and just see his actions and realise how much he has#messed with jihyun again not at all on purpose but that 1000 to nothing jihyun went through from the trip to the accident and it’s aftermath#that’s a fucking lot#and it’s interesting that we talk so much about people putting themselves first and not putting up with shit#like I think of simon from young royals and how we celebrate him saying no to being willhelms secret as an act of self-respect#but bc we understand and empathise so much with what jaewon is going through it’s hard to make yourself even consider jihyun#but when you do see it from his side you realise it’s a lot for him too#and that you wouldn’t hate him or misunderstand him if he was mad at jaewon#and with *spoliers* is there only so much he can take of jaewon’s self sabotage hurting him until even he and his developed strength and#confidence is broken by it#he can only keep fighting for jaewon for so long and idk if it’s gonna be a case of jaewon coming round too little too late#but I just hope this isn’t easy which sounds mean I don’t want either of them to suffer more#but this isn’t a kiss and get back together and all is good#I think jaewon needs to see the bad he’s caused#bc it’s only by owning up to that that he can ground himself in the moment and see that he’s part of this world and can’t separate himself#from it and jihyun also needs to realise that no matter his headspace jaewon does want space and when someone is self sabotaging you still#have to listen and respect what they’re saying distance means distance and as much as you want to fight against it you can’t be responsible#for making it work#agh I need to stop rambling bc it’s so messy and complex and I just absolutely ADORE the level to which this situation has so many emotional#moving parts and how ultimately blameless they both are and how it makes it so much harder to see a way out it’s fantastic#the eighth sense
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I’m just thinking about how the McElroy brothers were absolutely worshipped on this website as cornerstones of internet culture, and then all of a sudden a few years ago everyone did that thing that they always do to random dudes they used to worship, and decided that they were the devil (for reasons I was never clear on), and then Sarah Z made this long-ass video called something like “The History of the Decline and Fall of the McElroy Fandom” like some huge Voltron-esque fandom dropoff had happened. But like nothing had actually occurred and everyone who had been listening to their podcast just kept listening to their podcast and they’re still very prevalent in meme culture. What the fuck was all that about
#I thiiiink people were saying that Travis had made some comment that was apparently cancel-worthy#but it must not have been that big of a deal because I never ever found out what it was. And I very much moved in those circles.#I was into TAZ and MBMBAM and Monster Factory and like five other things of theirs#Anyway if you went and listened to the first ≈100 eps of MBMBAM you could come up with 500 cancellable offenses I am sure of it#Also I do not like Sarah Z. Don’t know if my animosity came through#It always seems like she comes up with a thesis for her videos and then does her darndest to find whatever evidence fits that thesis.#Which is what we call in academic circles a ‘no-no’#Also she did this video years ago about ‘Bad Faith Media Criticism’ where she extensively criticized someone else’s video about#Steven Universe but I had seen the video she was talking about Sarah straight up just lied about what was in that video. Multiple times.#In a video about bad faith criticism. I stopped watching her vids after that.#mbmbam
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anyone who talked about skipping Any of the nuwho doctors is going through my shredder
Hi any people who enjoy doctor who I want to get into the new stuff where do I start from?
#ive seen people say skip 9 skip 12 skip 13…. watch 9 and 10 and skip 11 and 12 and come back for 13?????#or to only watch 10 and to only come back for 14’s special i am crying right now you dont understand how this pains me#the correct answer as many have stated before me is to start with 9 ofc#your other option if you want to catch right up to the stuff coming out rn is just watch 13 and catch up later#but i feel like 13 isnt a good place to start as a first time viewer bc it’s where the writing gets a bit more like. consistently fucked off#you want a little bit of 12 to show you what it was like before some of the changes maybe#alternatively you could watch like a few good standalone eps from 9 through 12 and then speed through 13???#blink… girl in the fireplace… turn left… time heist… love and monsters……….. all the classics /j#like i feel like starting from 9 would be so overwhelming if you wanted to catch up on stuff quick#ive done the maths that shit would take you weeks to work through minimum#however it is 100% a journey worth taking#hence my original addition (i never add onto posts Never unless it comes from ranboo plssss forgive me plsss)#every single doctor is so so important and i cannot fathom skipping any of them#my shredder. it’s turning on. in you go :)#doctor who#nuwho#literally pointless fucking yelling into the void rn looking at the s12-13 dvds sitting on my desk unwatched#i will catch up i promise!! just not like today probably. but soon#dont get me started on doctor who ever i have been ride or die for that show my entire life i can talk Forever about it#sorry ranboo for ur notifs. :)
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damn vivi's goodbye has hands
#one piece#LITERALLY I'M WATCHING EP 777 OF THE ANIME#and they're just rehashing alabasta which i didn't forget so i was abt to skip past it#but i'm weak so i watched vivi's goodbye again and it did make me tear up like it does every time#early one piece hit different#i miss it so bad. pre-time-skip op.. and especially early grand line up to water 7 (funnily enough where i originally left off#my first time watching the anime)#thriller bark has some good moments but ngl it was probably the last arc i enjoyed#i'm finally at wci which i was waiting for but i do already know what all the meat of this arc entails#i wanna catch up before one piece ends especially cause i know it's coming sooner rather than later. and apparently people (my sister)#like wano so maybe... but whatever#literally no friend of the strawhats (and they have many) has been as important to me as vivi fr fr
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Hii, i just read all and i mean ALL of ur fics, but i saw you wrote for arcane women and was wondering if you could write headcanons abt them with a socially awkward/anxious reader?? If not thats A-Ok 👌 with me
Sure! How is everyone doing after the first three eps? I still haven't seen it but the edits I've seen... oh boy.
"I Got You." | Arcane Ladies Headcanons
╰┈➤ PLOT: How the ladies of Arcane(Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Sevika, Mel) act with a socially awkward and/or anxious partner
╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Spoiler Free, On The Shorter Side, Cursing, Not Proofread
⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ
JINX
– At first, Jinx didn't get that you were socially awkward. She was used to people being awkward or even scared around her so she thought it was the same case with you until you two got closer.
– After knowing that your awkwardness was just you and not your fear of her, she observed you in social situations and noted what made you more anxious than normal.
– For example, she noticed you're more anxious and timid in bigger, louder spaces but if a space was quiet and quaint, you would be just fine so she often took you to quiet places for dates.
– If Jinx notices you're anxious in places you typically aren't, without a doubt she's removing you from the situation and taking you home where you can relax. No words, just grabs and tugs.
– She's tried the pep talk route before but it ended up in her rambling and somehow planning a terrorist scheme aloud... (yeah, a few patrons quickly left the area after hearing that), so she decided to scrap that idea altogether.
– At home though she would prepare what she calls, "A Safety Nest". It was a place in your shared space that had all your favorite things and trinkets, and she usually kept the space dimly lit and played your favorite music to calm you down.
– In social interactions where you take the lead in conversation, Jinx would quietly encourage you with big, almost alarming smiles and "gentle" pats on your back. Let's face it, Jinx can be socially awkward herself.
– Once the conversation concludes, she'll jump on you proudly, ruffle up your clothing, and pinch your cheeks endearingly all while calling you weird nicknames and quoting what you said while mimicking your tone and cadence.
––
VI
– Before you've had your first real conversation together, Vi could sense that you were an anxious individual.
– You fidgeted with your body while speaking, didn't hold eye contact long, and used a decent amount of filler words to casualize your sentences.
– She thought it was endearing to watch you act and move as if you thought no one truly cared about what you were saying or were afraid of boring others but you never bored her. She didn't think it was possible.
– You had tells and quips that revealed themselves with each conversation you two had. You showed more and more of your personality the more you got comfortable with her too. Vi loved it.
– When you spoke to her, especially when you went on tangents about things you were interested in, she always showed signs of active listening by nodding and asking follow-up questions. Even days later, she'll bring up the topic again to see if you have any updates.
– She made you feel seen and heard, something you've subconsciously craved. And when you went on your worry rambles, she consoled you and tried her best to stop you from spiraling.
– You thought about a lot of things and oftentimes about things no one else thought about. Vi thought your brain must've been exhausted with all the worries, doubts, and judgments that were usually wrapped up as others' but were truly your own; it was a lot for one person to handle so she strove to let you know that you were not alone.
– Is there a night you can't sleep because of your racing mind? Vi is there, holding you or reassuring you that everything is going to be okay. She can't sleep until you do anyway so why not speed the process along?
– You often had yourself stuck with your head stressing and worrying about multiple things at once and Vi was always there to bring you down to Earth.
__
CAITLYN
– Caitlyn's an encourager and a comforter with you.
– She's patient and silently allows you to take your time when gathering your thoughts midconversation but she'll also be the one to say, "It's okay, take your time," in the sweetest way possible.
– If there's an instance when you two are out and about and you really want something but are too scared to get it, she'll spring into action and get that thing for you. (Even if it was just a napkin).
– The only time she's frazzled socially is when you both are in an unfamiliar area and need to ask for directions. She'll stumble over her words and try to get someone's attention but they're moving too fast to hear her soft words.
– She'll get frustrated and you end up comforting her, but after a few backrubs, she's ready to try again. Her voice is strong and powerful, and people have no problem hearing her.
– You secretly thank whomever you have to for her determination but there was no way in hell you were going to walk up to a stranger and ask for directions like a tourist... which you were.
– Since Caitlyn's job has her socializing with a lot of people, she can get burnt out easily. Especially if work hasn't been going her way lately but even if she's burnt out and tired, if you seem to be more awkward or anxious than her, she's more than happy to step up socially.
– When you both have someplace to attend to or some event that holds significance, Caitlyn will not hesitate to stage a "social rehearsal" with you. She'll make flashcards of topics you could bring up, you'll both dress accordingly for the event in her living room, and she'll pretend to be an assortment of people so you can get used to different personalities all at once.
– It may seem like this is all for you, but honestly it helps her too. Sometimes she misses the personal cues of conversation leading the other to think she's a black-and-white thinking who has no time for pleasanties. Not true! She's very pleasant... sometimes she's just shy.
– Shyness is not a crime!
– After talking with the host and a few others she has to talk to due to her job, her social battery is depleted. She's extremely thankful you're able to recognize this and suggest leaving early. What would you two do without each other?
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SEVIKA
– Oh, man. This lady found your awkwardness charming as hell.
– Your awkwardness was different than all the nerds and scaly-beings she's forced to be around. You were cute, looked perfect sitting next to her, and your awkwardness, as mentioned before, had a certain charming quality she can't quite place.
– She'll see you in your workplace trying to make casual conversation or small talk but none of your topics seemed to be landing. Your coworkers would give you a thin pressed-lips smile that she wanted to strike off of them to your attempts and then scoff at you behind your back.
– You were authentically yourself and those bastards didn't know what to do with it. They were scared, not her though.
– When you two got closer and comfortable enough with each other that you could tease one another or make playful jabs at the other's expense, no doubt she would tease you about your awkwardness.
– With those gorgeous eyes of yours, you would look everywhere else but her own, prompting her to say, "You know you can look me in the eyes, right? I won't bite", with the stupidest most shit-eating smirk on her face. And then when you look at her, a bit shocked and playfully annoyed, her smirk would only grow. "Unless you want me to."
– Sevika never made your awkwardness seem like a flaw. Your awkwardness came with you and she wanted all of you so she often encouraged your awkwardness.
– If she caught you trying to "reel" it in or realizing that you've talked for a few seconds too long, she'll playfully scold you and tell you to continue or to "let it out". Y'know. As someone who seethes dominance does.
– There would be an instance in which you go to Sevika asking for advice to be "less awkward" and her only response would be, "Why? I like your awkwardness, you don't need to change it. Anyone else who thinks otherwise is a sad loser and don't deserve to be in your life anyways."
– like damnnnn, okay!
– Safe to say you never asked her a question like that again.
--
MEL
– Mel understands your worries about what others think and the awkwardness that can come with it so she likes to help you in any way she can.
– If you're stressed about a council meeting and afraid of what everyone's going to think about the new perspective you'd like to bring to the table, she'll reassure you and tell you she's right by your side.
– If she can't physically with her hand on the small of your back, she give you nods of encouragement, raise her brows proudly, and look at you with that sense of pride and admiration in her golden eyes.
– After the meeting goes well, which she knew would, she'll congratulate you with your favorite drink and a night in doing all your favorite things.
– Even if there were parts in the meeting that were rocky, like the council people asking questions you weren't prepared for or getting rowdy, she'll say you did an excellent job and what you presented will help the people of Piltover.
– Oh, and don't think for a second that she wasn't sending glares and daggers to those who stirred up your anxiety even more. If looks could kill.
– Mel sees that sometimes your awkwardness and anxiety result in people-pleasing and she would shut that down real quick. She's fallen into that dangerous pool before and knows how hard it feels when you disappoint others and how much harder it is to get out of that mindset.
– She can get quite spirited with her encouragement...
– "Well, if they don't like it, that's on them! They don't know something good when they see it." "I've learned that hard way that you can't please everyone. You might as well say what you have to now. They can get over themselves later."
– It's actually quite attractive to see her stand up for you, even if she was standing up for the possibility.
– Always keeping her words in your mind, you find yourself navigating through life easier and you only have her to thank.
WC: 1,705
#pastel-peach-writes#pastel peach writes#gender-neutral terms#gender neutral terms#lesbian#arcane fanfiction#vi fanfic#vi x reader#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn fanfic#caitlyn kiramman#vi#vi x you#caitlyn arcane#caitlyn x you#jinx x reader#jinx fanfic#jinx lol#jinx league of legends#jinx#sevika#arcane sevika#sevika x reader#sevika x you#mel x you#mel x reader#mel fanfic#arcane fanfic
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Rio's flower theory (contains spoilers!)
Some people have noticed how Rio's flower kept making appearance in the last episode, so naturally I re-watched it for the 100th time, and made note of every moment we see the flower because I have a theory...
First appearance - Rio presents it to Agatha when she crawls out of the ground
Agatha pushed it out of her hand, but it's unclear what happens to it - I thought maybe it looked like she put it in her coat pocket, but actually I think she just threw it to the ground, she would be too angry to keep it. And so we see the flower back in Rio's hands when she merrily hops along the Road. She doesn't stop playing with it even when they stop to look at the trial house.
The flower (and also her knife) is also present in the trial. As we saw with Agatha's locket, amulets and Joe's spell book, the trial seems to let the witches keep things that are important to them.
When they exit the trial, frantically trying to save Teen, Rio is back playing with the flower again, silently observing Agatha.
This continues until the campfire. Seriously, why is this girl stimming so much?
The interesting bit is when Agatha returns from Teen. Her hands are in her pocket, so we can't see whether she's holding something in her hands or if she's taking something from her pocket. But in the next frame, as she sits down to join the coven, she has that flower in her left hand! I think Rio must have put it on the seat, waiting for her. There are some interesting looks!
Finally, when Rio gets up to go after Agatha, the camera pans out and we see the flower has actually been left back on the log, where Agatha sat... What is the meaning of it?....
So in summary, the flower has some deeper meaning to Rio and she seems to really treasure it, maybe even use it as a stimming device, maybe trying to control her emotions?
Enter the Marvel promo for Death tarot card!
In one hand, we see Death holds her dagger (looking familiar?), in the other hand she holds an object that people believe to be Death's black heart. But it also reminds me the shape of a flower. So what if Rio's flower IS her heart? That she keeps offering to Agatha?
But I wonder if Agatha realises the meaning of the flower yet. In ep.1 she looked a little surprised when Rio says she does have a heart, that it's black and beats for her. It would be hard to believe that if these two were an item for centuries, that they wouldn't end up knowing everything about each other. So Agatha's "you don't have a heart" could just be a snarky, hurtful comment to reflect Rio's possible betrayal (the "job" she had to do) or a more literal fact that she doesn't believe Rio can be truly human in any physical way (no heart, no scars), because she's Lady Death. Or both. So maybe Rio hid that part from her? They certainly seem like they didn't even talk and reconcile after the dramatic events because Agatha seems surprised at Rio's hurt and regret when she tells her "scar story".
Anyway, I digress... In short, I think flower is (or at least symbolises) Rio's heart.
Bonus content - we actually get a glimpse of that flower in ep.1 as it makes its appearance even in Agatha's fake reality. Even though the camera angles make it impossible to see it most of the time, there are scenes when Rio moves her head just enough that we can see a bit of her her clip - which looks eerily like the flower!
While there was no actual flower in their ep.1 fight scene, Agatha is wearing a flowery robe and the wallpaper is all flowers. So I think there is a deeper symbolism there that the show is trying to subtly incorporate - does it all link to the Green Witch powers? Or the language of flowers?
Even Teen places a flower on Sharon's grave, where would he even get it from in that dark place? And finally, Jen uses blue flowers when they summon the green witch (Lilia offers a rock, Agatha adds a leaf and it's not clear what Alice adds - some dust or fruit?)
So... after all that, I don't actually know anything about plants or gardening. So does anyone know what type Rio's flower even is? I mean, there literally is a flower called Rio, could that be a hint or is it too simple?
EDIT: My bad, Rio is a proprietary company name who sells those flowers. But what about this flower called Surprise Lily? (also called Resurrection Lily!) Doesn't look quite like Rio's but I like the name as it would be quite funny if it was true...
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#kathryn hahn#aubrey plaza#rio vidal#agatha all along spoilers#agathario#agatha x rio#vidarkness#flower#agatha all along theory
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Hi, could you do an Aemond one shot where he and Reader (Rhaenyra's bastard daughter) are husband and wife and she and Aemond are married, based on the first episode of season 2 where instead of killing Aegon's son, kill the reader's son and aemond
a.n: hi hi ty for the request 🫶 i had a little too much fun writing this, this probably isnt what you wanted this is not a happy fic but i still hope you enjoy regardless 🫶🫶 slightly inspired by the events of ep two
Despite the halls of the keep being pure chaos everyone swiftly moved out of the way for the one eyed prince who rushed through the halls seeking out the one who he knew needed him.
They had been in his room. They wanted him. But they must have left his room when they knew he was not there and stumbled their way into the nursery which was attached to his room where his son had been. His son. his only child. and he was furious.
The door to the council room slams open and otto swiftly turns to look and stand before him, “where have you been-“ otto is shoved out of his way as he goes to kneel next to his sobbing wife on the floor who was clutching a blanket on the floor.
You look at him with red eyes and choke out his name, he grabs your face in his hands and looks upon you for a moment before you throw yourself into his arms. Shoving your head in his neck to breathe in his scent, to feel his pulse, make sure he’s real.
“they killed our son.” your words come out choked in between your sobs and he strokes up and down your back, “i tried to offer them anything, gold, myself, but they only wanted him aemond only him.” he shushes you and pressed a kiss against your temple, speaking into your ear. “Im sorry my love im sorry.”
He will return the pain they have brought to not only himself but worst of all to his wife and he will pay it tenfold. A lone tear streaks down his face as you say nothing more merely continue to sob into him while the other faces in the room can only merely watch with sorrow.
He picks you up, making sure to keep the blanket firmly in your grasp as he turns to leave the room ignoring the voices calling after him. They must want to discuss what they plan to do now but he wants no part in it, only wanting to comfort his wife.
“they were saying they want to blame my mother.” You had calmed down at some point, still delirious with grief but you had stopped crying, merely staring blankly up at the ceiling as aemond kept you firmly next to him. “she would never do a thing like this. my mother loves me, why would she send someone out for my son.”
Aemond is quiet and his hand on your back falters for a moment, “she wishes to punish me.” you say nothing but he notices how you shift ever so slightly.
With the way you two were right now nobody could tell the two of you have not spoken in those fourteen days since his return when he broke the news to the court. When he broke the news to you. Your own brother murdered in cold blood.
You could never forgive him despite his attempts to talk to you after, you swiftly dismissed him and his words would fall on deaf ears. Your baby brother was everything to you, you remember growing up side by aide and he was teary eyed the day you permanently moved to the keep.
despite your hatred for him and your hatred for your mothers usurpation you cannot go home. The people here watch you like a hawk you cannot even send a letter out to her but alicent is free to beg and plead to her like a pathetic dog. you hate them. Yet you allow him to comfort you because you know you will get no comfort from anyone else here.
“they wish to flaunt me around like a prized lamb. ‘gain sympathy from the houses.’ he says.” You ignore his words and continue to speak. “I will not allow it.” you shrug mindlessly and sit up, he stays laying down. His eye patch off and hair down from its usually prime and perfect state, he had thrown his shirt off at some point too.
You can see it, the hurt that laces his eye and his face, his hand finds yours and you want to rip it away but you cant, the warmth on your skin bringing you a small sense of comfort.
“i had thought we would work. That you would finally move on and forgive grievances of the past. But i hate you just as you hate me aemond,” “i do not hate you. i love you.” you shake your head as he says it, sitting up and gripping your arms tightly, trying to hold your gaze as he says it again.
“i will never forgive you. I will hate you for as long as a breathe.”
“i did not mean to i lost my temper that day.”
“you feeling sorry means nothing to me you know that. how would you feel if the men who murdered our son came in here and said they were sorry., that they didn’t mean to.”
He says your name and his grip tightens on your arms but you continue to merely stare off mindlessly.
“i will repent for the rest of my life. our son will be brought justice.”
he will kill every man in the keep if he has to, slay every man in all of westeros if they cannot figure out who had done it. For you. for his son.
“i love you.” the words come out strained as he begs and pleads to anyone who is willing to listen to him for you to say something else anything to him.
you do. you finally look at him. a look devoid of any love you had once had for him. and it kills him.
“you’re pathetic.”
#aemond targaryen fanfic#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond x reader#aemond targaryen x reader smut#house of the dragon#aemond smut#hotd fanfic#aemond targaryen x you#aemondtargaryen#aemond targaryen#hotd#prince aemond#aemond targaryen smut#aemond targaryen x reader
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Aemond X Reader: The cowardly king
a/n: hotd has been giving me some inspo for writting i'm hopping it will pull me out of writers block 🙃
Warnings: Spoilers for Ep 3, smut, rough sex, angry sex, whores, being treated badly by men, flinching, talks of being hit, Aegon being a little shit (like always), female reader, no use of y/n
Word count: 1,6K
His voice drifted across the room causing your ears to perk up. You turn your head in a swift motion searching from him in the crowd. Your eyes find his platinum blond hair in an instant. He’s being followed by three men, one of which looks around the room in despair. You rise from your seat, ignoring the shouts of the men you’d been talking to. You’d get punished for bad service later but you didn’t care at the moment. There was something more important to deal with right now.
You watched from the corner of your eye as King Aegon pulled open the various curtains that give some of the customers a bit more privacy to enjoy themselves. Your bare feet pad across the floor in a rush, desperately trying to get to the curtain before Aegon. You're so close, just a few more steps and you’ll reach it. But then one of the girls bumps into you causing you to lose your balance. You stumble gripping the nearby table. The girl comes your way apologizing as she helps you stand straight but you aren’t paying attention to her. Your eyes narrowed in on the curtain Aegon has just gotten too. You try to move quickly to distract him but it's already too late.
You watch in horror as the King pulls the curtain open to reveal none other than his brother Aemond, in the arms of an older woman. You stop in your spot, body frozen as you listen to Aegon's shrieks of laughter. Aemond sits up immediately, not daring to make eye contact with his brother who continues to laugh like a loon. You watch the exchange with a deep pain in your heart. You knew why Aemond chose to stay with the madam and you knew it had little to do with sex and much more to do with something he lacked in his life. A mothers touch. You don’t pay attention to the conversation, focused only on the slumped frame of prince Aemond. You wish to hug him but you know better than to move from your spot. You watch him rise from his spot turning to face the room for the first time.
“Any whore would do.”
That's when his eyes catch your frame. He stares at you for a moment, his eye seeping into your soul. For a moment he thinks you might be enjoying the show his brother has put on but when he sees the clear disgust in your face he knows he’d misjudged you. He walks out of the room, unafraid to show every part of himself to the people that surrounded you. You waited a moment before going after him.
Aemond’s long legs allowed him to take large steps, causing you to have to walk quite fast to catch up to him. You have a feeling he doesn’t know where he’s going. Being caught off guard by his brother seemed to have destabilized him a bit. You knew it wasn’t smart to let him leave in such a state. There was no telling who would suffer the consequences.
“Aemond, wait!”
You didn’t know if he hadn’t heard you or he was simply choosing to ignore you but you weren’t giving up that easily. You forced yourself to walk faster despite the pain that the stone beneath your bare feet was causing you. You managed to get closer to Aemond, your hand reaching out to grab his shoulder. You managed to touch him lightly but not to stop him from walking.
“Leave me.”
“Aemond you know i can-”
“Leave me!”
He’d whipped around so fast you’d barely had time to grab onto the wall behind you. His face was mare inches from your, his hand gripping onto your wrist in a brutal manner. You looked up at him in horror, your shoulders taunt with fear. Aemond raised his hand, the action causing you to close your eyes. You prepared yourself for the blow of his palm to your face.
It never came.
Aemond stared at you, he took in the way your body prepared itself from the pain you imagined you were about to go through. It was only then that he noticed his hand was raised and that you’d interpreted it as him preparing to hit you. His eyebrows furrowed at the realization. You’d thought he was about to hurt you and the first instinct you had was to take it.
You wondered if he’d only hit you the one time or if he would take out all his anger on you. Men had laid their hands on you before but they hadn’t been trained in the way you imagined Aemond was. You expected him to be far stronger than the men you’d dealt with before. So you could only imagine that the pain he would bring you would be far worse.
Time seemed to pass slower, his hand had not made contact with your face yet and it seemed to be taking far too long to do so. Slowly you opened your eyes, preparing yourself to close them again if necessary. Only, when you looked at Aemond again you saw fear in his eyes. You looked at him like a wounded animal and he looked at you like a child who didn't realize its own strength. His lips opened slightly allowing a whisper of your name to slip through them. You watched as he slowly lowered his hand until he could cup your cheek. You looked up at him with wide eyes, trying to figure out his next move. Never would you have expected what he did next.
Aemond crashed his lips into yours in desperation, his body pushing you up against the wall. His chest rubbed against your breasts causing your nipples to harden. A small whine made its ways out of your lips as Aemond ran his tongue against your mouth. You allowed him what he was asking for, opening your mouth so that his tongue could tangle with yours. His hands found your waist, fingers digging into your hip with an unnecessary amount of strength. Aemond tugged at your hair causing you to groan as he unlatched your lips from his. He stared down at you for a moment, his chest heaving with angry breaths. Your pupils were shot wide, the sudden desire Aemond had managed to pull out of you becoming clear.
“Turn around.”
You did as he asked, turning so your back was to his chest. He shifted your hair to the side giving a bit to your neck. You let out a moan at the feeling. Aemond was seething but it wasn’t because of you. He was enraged by his brother and needed to take his frustration out on someone, one way or another. It seemed this way at least he could enjoy himself a bit.
You felt him move himself against you, his dick prodding at your ass. You widen your legs a bit, trying to make it easier for him. Aemond lined his dick up with your entrance before pushing into you with a harsh thrust. Your mouth fell open at the sudden intrusion. Without giving you so much as a second to breathe Aemond began pistoling into you. You couldn’t help but moan out his name as he moved against you, your hands moving to hold onto his head. He rested his face on your neck, allowing his grunts of pleasure to become less obvious. He continued to chase his high, not bothering to help you get to your own. Your pleasure wasn’t really on his mind at the moment but it wasn’t an issue. You were used to it. Just another part of the job. After one harsh thrust Aemond came with a groan, his seed spilling down your thigh as he held you in place.
He pulled out of you causing you to let out a small whine. You didn’t try to move from your spot, afraid that perhaps your sudden movements might anger him. You tried to listen to his footsteps moving away from you but you heard nothing. Aemond looked at you, his eyes falling on the bruised he’d left on your skin from his harsh grip. He called out your name, causing you to turn your head to the side. He grabbed your face forcing you to turn to face him completely. You stared up at his eyes, your mind still a bit foggy.
“I would never hurt you.”
His eye ran down to the bruise on your hip before he looked back at you.
“At least not in the way you thought I would.”
“Yes My Prince.”
Aemond watched you for a moment longer before turning to leave. You watched him get his clothes back on before exiting the place. You couldn’t help but keep staring at the spot he once had been.
“Guess he meant it.”
Aegon's voice filled your ears causing you to turn to look in his direction. He gave you a sly grin.
“Any whore will do.”
The right thing to do was to bow your head to him. He was the king after all. But you couldn’t care less. He’d just embarrassed his brother in front of many simply because he could. You stared at him, watching as he continued to smile at you. You turned on your heels making your way away from his prying eyes.
If it was up to you, you’d have his head on a stick.
#smut fanfiction#smut#smut tag#prince aemond#aemond one eye#aemond smut#aemond targaryen#aemond x you#aemond x reader#hotd aemond#hotd x reader#hotd fanfic#hotd smut#hotd season 2#house of the dragon#house targaryen#hotd#ewan mitchell x reader#ewan mitchell fanfic#ewan mitchell#hotd x you#hotd spoilers
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kit, jentry and the art of misunderstanding
this is basically just a really long post going over kit and jentry's interactions in eps 8 and 9 bc i've seen some people feel like their characterization took a sharp turn ("they made kit act like an incel", "they made jentry reject him just because he's a demon", etc), when i thought both their actions were perfectly understandable and a pretty natural evolution of their not-relationship. i think the key thing to remember when watching these scenes is that both characters have very different assumptions about the current status of their relationship, partly because they were never able to sit down and define it in the first place.
kit thinks he and jentry are functionally together, that any hesitation on jentry's part is the result of some fixable fault of his own, while jentry thinks they were never a thing to begin with, and especially not now after kit betrayed her trust.
so this is where the trouble really begins, tho i think even earlier in this conversation is when they started to be on different pages. up until this point, kit had been hoping she'd forgive him, and was taken aback when she said she wasn't looking for apologies. then she started reiterating her belief in his soul and relating to the feeling of being trapped with a life defined by someone else
jentry pov: even though i'm feeling deeply betrayed, kit doesn't deserve to be under anyone's thumb. we'll help each other out and then we'll part ways amicably. that'll make things right.
kit pov: hold up. 'make things right'? as in... make up? as in... a relationship is still on the table? :D
jentry pov: after the powers are gone there'll be nothing tying kit to me, and nothing tying either of us to mr cheng. he'll be free to move on and choose whatever new life he wants.
kit pov: she said 'you and me' like we're a pair! so she still wants to be with me after all :D we're reconnecting!!
so this is when kit starts getting possessive. there's definitely good old fashioned jealousy at play, but i also think kit was genuinely under the impression that he and jentry were reconnecting, and that jentry should have no reason to be interested in michael at this point.
back at school he's genuinely confused, because he has no idea jentry isn't into him anymore. he helped her get rid of the powers and made up with her, so now they should be back in business. he did the mum thing that's apparently a romantic gesture jentry likes, so shouldn't she be happy about it? look how thoughtful he's being!
jentry pov: ohhh shoot, he doesn't get that i don't wanna be with him anymore. i can't deal with any more stressful demon stuff......... how do i put this nicely...
kit pov: yep haha ^_^ no more powers, yay! it's like what you said back at my house! now that you don't have the powers nothing is getting in the way of our relationship anymore, like mr cheng and gugu's game. peace and love on planet earth <3
jentry pov: i need to let this dude down as GENTLY AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. i want to word this in a way that SCREAMS "you're an okay dude, just not what I personally want out of a relationship right now" because I know he has issues with his sense of identity. so i will focus on how the relationship itself can't be normal. this will hopefully take the brunt of rejection off him as an individual and lay the blame at the feet of unfortunate circumstances
kit pov: ohhhh so she WANTS to be in a relationship with me but i'm not acting normal enough
jentry pov: ok thank god. he gets that i don't want us to be together AND he took it gracefully.
kit pov: so she's saying we can be together... once i start acting more normal? that's slightly upsetting. but totally doable :)
jentry pov: i will now pursue michael since i've cleared things up with kit ^_^ yaaayyy
kit pov: what the hell??? i'm trying to be normal for her???? like she ASKED me to?? but now she's flirting with michael out of nowhere???
jentry pov: THIS CREEPY ASS DUDE KEEPS STALKING ME AFTER I TOLD HIM IM NOT INTERESTED
kit pov: i am doing Normal Displays of Normal Human Affection like she literally asked me to >:( ok well not literally but she INSINUATED
from his pov, she's not even giving him a chance to "correct" his behavior before she runs off with someone else, toying with his emotions. he's trying to "out-normal" michael to win her back, but it's frustrating and terrifying bc if there's one thing he Can Not handle it's rejection
jentry pov: this guy obviously can't take a gentle let-down, so I need to be more blunt about this. he stalked me, lied to me, tried to kill me. how can he NOT see why i don't want to be around him anymore? what the heck is his problem?? how much meaner do i need to be about this before he finally leaves me alone???
kit pov: ok, so the mask is coming off now. she said i was more human than i thought, that a soul is made up of the decisions you make, who you choose to be. but i didn't choose to be centuries old, i didn't choose to drain qi, those are all intrinsic parts of my demonic existence. was all that talk a lie? do i not have a soul after all? am i not human enough for her? was she just trying to spare my feelings this whole time?
jentry pov: he's so creepy and possessive, i hate this, why can't he just take no for an answer!!? (<- objectively true btw)
kit pov: she's avoiding the question, so she means 'yes' and is too proud to say it. she doesn't like me because i'm a demon, and if i was a normal human, we'd be together right now
so of course he gets so upset he punches the lockers. it's not extreme or out of character, he thinks everything jentry told him about his humanity was a lie. that there IS something inherently wrong with him that nothing but the acquisition of a soul could fix. that he's back to square one, that mr cheng was right, that no one could possibly love him in his natural state. that he is, inherently, down to his core, a monster.
but at least this time, he doesn't have to kill jentry to get what she he wants (because it was never really about her. he never prioritized her happiness. everything he did to change 'for' her was always about desperately maintaining the sense of human connection he craved)
#this felt soooo soo good to write i LOVE being cringey and overanalyzing cartoons <3#willow whispers#jentry chau vs the underworld#jentry chau vs the underworld spoilers
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Voices We Don’t Hear
I was thinking about the scene in the cell down in Hell and wondering why it makes my heart clench so much even after having watched it so many times at this point, and I figured it out! It also led me noticing something in another scene that sticks out when it shows up. It’s the scene in the forest with Edwin and the Cat King.
It’s two lines of dialogue that I’m referring to: “This is all you are. Do you understand?” - Edwin from Ep. 6 “Hey, hey… let’s get you out of here.” - Charles from Ep. 7
These two lines have rare emotional tones for each of them. That sentence is a really bad way to say it, but I'll try to explain it.
We don't hear Charles speak in a soft voice often. He whispers down there in Hell and in Esther's kitchen, but I can't think of any other moments where Charles actually whispers. And there's something different about his voice in that line specifically. Because even though he's whispering, his voice is very clear and not breathy. With full whispering, the person's voice gets mostly obscured by that weird static-like/screen-filter that comes from talking that quietly, like Edwin's voice. (I have no idea how to describe what I'm talking about, but hopefully that's enough for you to understand lol)
So, even when Charles is speaking softly, it's not as quietly as he can. That line in particular is right after Edwin tells him what the demon does to him, and it's softer than all the others. And it's obvious why.
This is without a doubt the first time Charles has ever seen him like this: crying, small, scared, and so unlike himself. It's already heartbreaking. Then Edwin tells him about his torture, and he breaks down crying after managing to keep his most of his composure before.
If you look closely, Charles blinks a few times fast before he turns and cups Edwin's face. It's so dark and the lighting is so strange, but his eyes are shinier than they were previously. He forces himself to keep his focus on the task and being strong for Edwin, but he looks like he wants to cry.
Then he says that line so gently, so delicately while looking directly into his eyes while he holds his head between his hands. Charles voice is softer and a tiny bit strained from keeping his emotions in check.
It's the softest, most loving, and gentle moment of Charles in the entire show.
On the flipside, the line Edwin says to the Cat King is similar. Edwin definitely gets angry, frustrated, etc. and shouts and yells. But all of the people he yells at are people he has personal connections with, and the root of his distress comes from himself.
He yells at Crystal because he's having an anxiety attack after all the rapid changes to their routine, and bickers back and forth with her, but it's never truly malicious. He’s angry, but more importantly, he’s hurt. Crystal’s seeming lack of understanding of the weight of the importance is reminding him of how little people care. He snaps at Simon in Hell, but within minutes he calms down, recognizing how genuinely remorseful and ignorant Simon had been. He yells at Charles in a sort of angry-loving way on the staircase in Hell; he's not actually angry with him.
But in the forest, Edwin finds out that the boy he's been seeing and making friends with has been the familiar of the witch who wants to destroy them in disguise, and was pretending for at least some of their relationship. He also learns of all this because the Cat King exposes him rather than Monty confessing. He's hurt and angry, and then the Cat King pulls the "you owe me card" to try and get Edwin to kiss him even after all of the times he's rejected him.
He tells him off and goes to leave, but the comment the Cat King makes about dismissing him makes him turn around immediately. The way Edwin gets close to him, invading his space like he's done to him multiple times, and shoves the bracelet in front of his face.
There's real venom in his voice when he says the line. It's rough, gravelly, and it's obvious that Edwin has truly run out of patience for the Cat King's antics.
It is truly the angriest we see him in the show, at least from a standpoint of genuine anger toward someone he considers an adversary of some kind.
Edwin has no real relationship with the Cat King; he's basically his warden, the person who has trapped him in this town, and then treats him like he owns him. Given that it was a matter of diplomacy and caused by an error he made, he allowed the Cat King to have his fun to some extent, but in that forest, when he's just found out his new friend is actually a crow and there's a massive, ghost-eating mushroom monster threatening his and Charles' existence, he could not give less of a fuck about playing nice. He's frustrated and upset and stressed about so many different things all at once, and then this smug cat guy, who seems to think they're something more than a captor and his captive, has the audacity to say that Edwin owes him? Yeah, bye bitch! He is done.
I want to hear more of both of these versions of the two of them. I want to hear Edwin rip into an enemy, voice dripping with malice. I want to hear Charles comfort and reassure him (or anyone, but preferably Edwin) with that soft voice that is cherishing and gentle, treating him like something delicate that deserves to be handled with care after the universe has quite literally ripped him apart and crushed him.
(ko-fi)
#dead boy detectives#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#rambles: dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland
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UPDATED THIS POST GO READ THE END I ADDED MORE I MISSED BEFORE
They gave us SUCH A BIG BYLER HINT in the reel that @/strangerthingstv posted on instagram today popping off with the celebration of stranger things day
Let me explain, I might be reaching with the first part of this but you never know
Credit to @pixidivine for posting about two of the frames which made me go back and rewatch the reel to analyze it more.
First part I want to talk about is Dustin asking Mike and Lucas if they are both seriously this Dense. When he says: “this dense” it lands on Mike and stays on Mike till he is done talking then goes to Lucas making Mike the subject of this.
This could mean Mike being clueless to his own feelings for Will or in season 4 of him being clueless about the lying coming from Will and that that Will likes him.
Second part, where I got the idea from which is shown in the reel RIGHT AFTER THE DENSE COMMENT:
Nancy asking Mike if the way he’s been acting was because of Will then we have Joyce saying “Ring a ding ding” like the sound of bells going off when something is correct. ‼️
They did this on purpose, because with these videos promoting a movie/TV series/anything they take clips of different scenes to put together to make a cohesive sentence so it makes sense to the subject of what the video is talking about, which in this case it’s about ST day and Rewatching ST on ST day…but is it??
That leads to my next part which is this:
There is a double meaning here that most people won’t think about.
Obviously we have the 1st part talking about the special day which is ST day, then we have Mike saying “what’s exciting about this” then Joyce says: “just watch”
Interesting because we already know ST is exciting and a good show, so good point Michael what is exciting about ST day? Hmmm HINTS and NEW N E W INFO—we don’t have to rewatch it to know that it’s an exciting show. What is exciting is what they give us in the reel, Joyce saying “Just watch” is a double meaning the front meaning MEANING to rewatch the show, the hidden meaning is to JUST WATCH THE REEL
Which gives us THE BYLER HINT RIGHT AFTER THAT ‼️ I find it interesting that all the words throughout this reel are about ST and watching it and how exciting it is but the Will comment???? That’s totally out of place!!
The order of these frames so it makes more sense, u can also just watch the video to understand what I’m trying to say:
1 “Is a very special day”
2 “It’s ST day”
3 “what’s exciting about this?”
4 “just watch”
EDIT: (4.5) “Why?”
5 “are you both seriously”
6 “this dense”
7 “I thought it was bc of will”
8 “Ring a ding ding
EDIT bc I totally missed this in the reel too omg— ok here we have a frame of El asking “why” after Joyce says “just watch”
(And maybe an interesting hint to actually go watch the 1st episode bc byler was there all along)
This is even more questioning!! Right after we get Mike’s Questioning!! It makes you want to think again, like didn’t Joyce answer Mike already with a “Just watch” why is El now asking
After “why” is THEN when we gets Dustin’s “are you both seriously this Dense”
Which is LITERALLY asking WHY THE DOUBLE QUESTION, WHY is this reel and what is the reel actually trying to tell us
Then ofc after “this dense” It’s like They give us an answer to all the questions:
“I thought it was Because of Will”
Omg so after two asks, Dustin being fed up with what ur not understanding, we get a answer
“Ring a ding ding” 🤯
OR
GO BACK TO THE FIRST EP, AND WHY??? EL ASKS?? WHY IS DUSTIN FED UP??
THEY GIVE US THE ANSWER WHY TO WATCH IT AGAIN OMG
(Sry guys I’m back tracking on my theory holy shit)
THE ANSWER WAS “I thought it was bc of will”
WHICH IS DIRECTED AT MIKEEEE
“RING A DING DING”
*slams paper on table that reads ‘byler is real’*
#byler#stranger things#miwi#mike wheeler is gay#mike wheeler#anti milkvan#byler endgame#i’m going insane#im dululu#im tweaking#going crazy#crazy together#will x mike#mike x will#omg???
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simon has lost everything that made wille fall in love with him and wille doesn't even notice.
it's a heartbreaking story to watch but in a brilliant way i'm fixated on it. and not in a simon deserves better than wille way but in a they both need to find themselves again in order to be happy.
simon is proud of his morals and who he is as a person, he's never been apologetic of it and wants people to know because it is deeply important to him to have a strong self identity in a world where he comes from a broken home, where he's gay, where he's lower socioeconomic class, where he's poc in a hugely white community, and where he has leftist ideals in a monarchist country. when wille tells him he can't post on socials because it reflects on something the crown can't have a position on, he feels he's losing his voice. and all wille can see is trying to minimize a headache.
singing has been simon's lifeline throughout the show, and something thats important to him because it is one of the good memories he has with his dad. when wille sees he posted himself singing all he can see is simon drawing more attention, it needs to be deleted. he doesn't even comment on simon's singing or let alone the lyrics which they make it seem he clocks what simon is saying this season as apposed to last but he's too focused on himself.
and then when simon admits to wille outside he feels he's losing his voice and confidence, everything has become too much. he can't enjoy singing, he's not pursuing a solo this season for the first time and he can hardly string together his song. but it goes over wille's head, he can't even notice the gravity of what simon is trying to say to him
at the sit in simon initially stands his ground and calls out all of their hypocrisy and rightfully points out wille only takes a stand when its low risk for him, but he caves lated because he doesn't want to disappoint wille and doesnt want wille to be mad at him. and despite wille saying he likes that they learn from the other's perspective, he doesn't make a move to understand any of simon's pov.
simon had to throw up a white flag in ep 5 becuase not only had simon shriveled into a shell of himself and wille not noticed, this change of simon was enabling the way the monarchy breaks wille. previously, and in glimpses this season we have seen simon show wille where the monarchy goes wrong and tries to pull wille into safety a bit but wille can not see past the status quo this season. he got simon so why should he worry right? but this is not the simon he loves, there is no point to this simon. if this is the guy you wanted to love you could've found anyone who was ok with a private relationship why go after the proud boy who is the antithesis to you?
this gives me hope for ep 6. i think wille needed a rude awakening desperately because he was depriving simon of the oxygen he needs to flourish and letting himself drown at the same time. wille needs to see why he fought so hard for simon, why simon was so important to them. they are so special, wille needs to get past the weight of the crown
#it was so painful but it can be so good if they actually come out the other side#young royals#young royals s3#young royals s3 spoilers#simon eriksson#prince wilhelm#wilmon#young royals analysis#young royals s3 analysis#young royals character analysis
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honestly every time i remember buck is canonically bi and is dating a man now i get so 😳😳😳 about it. like in our fandom sphere it's easy to say he's been bi-coded for years and joke with all the "wbk"s but i genuinely think people are missing what a gamble it was for ABC to pick up a show from another network and go this route with a main character that the majority of the audiences wasn't as percipient about.
buck's case is so singular imo because there are still certain - silent - rules to queer rep in mainstream media. the audiences are almost always clued-in on a character being queer early, for example. it's either shown immediately or mentioned in conversation in those first few scenes/eps the characters are established. if a character is not out, then they are not out to the rest of the characters, not the audience. if a character doesn't know they're queer yet - or ready to accept it - again, the audience knows, the story/foreshadowing is clear about it.
i can't think of a single other example where a main character - who's been nominally straight for multiple seasons - realizes they're queer later in life like this. where it wasn't planned beforehand, wasn't an explicitly or intentionally threaded storyline, wasn't just a one-liner saying "oh yeah ofc he kissed men before" ofc i didn't watch all television ever created in the history of television but i genuinely think this was such a pioneering writing choice mainstream tv hasn't done before. i wish we could all have been more happy with it instead of *gestures* all this.
#please lmk if theres another queer rep on mainstream tv like this btw id be happy to hear it#where it's obv something decided years into the story and the character wasnt flagged as “this is the gay one” for the general audiences#but also treated as a real story instead of a haha yeah he was bi all along#yknow what i mean#i think if there are other examples prob more with female characters?#maybe#anyway#911#evan buckley#bucktommy
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