#WHAT'S UP I'M BACK AND STILL OBSESSED WITH THEM

[aventurineswife]

Hi! Another beloved parenting request (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

Basically the reader and the character(Aventurine, Sampo, Childe And dr.Ratio) have a 4 year old son who one night has a nightmare and asks both of them if they can sleep with them in the middle, In short the child sleeps with both parents. Take all the time you want with this, I mean it all! (⁠＾⁠∇⁠＾⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠��

-💤🩵 anon

Safe Between Us

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Ratio x Reader, Sampo x Reader, Childe x Reader, Fluff, Domestic Life, Parenting, Comfort/Wholesome Moments, Nightmare Comfort, Soft Relationships, Family Bonding, Established Relationship.

Warnings: Mentions of Nightmares (non-graphic), Mild Emotional Vulnerability, References to Past Trauma.

A/N: Someone's a bit obsessed with a certain hydro character here ahem ahem, can't blame you if I'm obsessed with a certain gambler here ahem ahem 🧍‍♀️ also Renny is used for gender neutral term of parent since it would've been weird if the child called you parent

The quiet hum of the city outside your window was a faint backdrop to the stillness of the room. You were beginning to drift off to sleep when you heard the sound of small, hurried footsteps padding down the hall. Moments later, a little voice called out, trembling with fear.

“Papa? Mama/Dada/Renny?”

You sat up immediately, your heart clenching. Your four-year-old son stood at the doorway, his hair sticking up in all directions, his eyes brimming with tears. Clutching a small stuffed peacock—Aventurine's ironic gift—he sniffled.

“I had a bad dream,” he whispered. “Can I sleep with you and Papa?”

Aventurine, who had been lounging on the bed, glanced at the child. His ever-present enigmatic smile softened. “A nightmare, hmm? Well, dreams are just gambles in our sleep, aren’t they? Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t. But tonight,” he said, patting the bed, “you’ve hit the jackpot, little man.”

You rolled your eyes at his theatrical explanation but moved aside to make room. Your son climbed into the bed, nestling himself between the two of you. Aventurine adjusted the covers with an exaggerated flourish, ensuring his boy was snug and warm.

“Tell me what scared you,” Aventurine said softly, his voice losing its usual playful edge. He reached out, brushing a few stray locks from your son’s forehead.

“There were… monsters,” your son murmured, curling against your side. “And they wanted to take me away.”

Aventurine’s smile grew tight for a moment—a rare crack in his facade. “No one’s taking you anywhere,” he promised, his tone firmer now. “Not while your parents are here.”

You leaned over, pressing a kiss to your son’s temple. Aventurine mirrored your gesture, his gaze meeting yours briefly. It was in these quiet, vulnerable moments that his guarded mask slipped entirely, revealing the man beneath.

As the three of you lay there, the child’s breathing grew steady, his fears banished by the warmth and love surrounding him. Aventurine murmured a soft, “Goodnight,” his hand lingering protectively on your son’s back. For once, there was no gamble, no risk—just family.

The air was cool, and the soft glow of the moon filtered through the curtains as you and Sampo settled into bed. His mischievous grin, as usual, hadn’t faltered even after a long day. But the peace of the evening was soon interrupted by the sound of your son crying out from his room.

Both you and Sampo bolted upright, exchanging a quick glance before hurrying down the hall. You found your four-year-old sitting up in his bed, his eyes wide with fear and tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Hey there, champ,” Sampo said, crouching beside him. “What’s got you so spooked?”

“I—I had a bad dream,” your son stammered, his small hands clutching the blanket. “Can I sleep with you and Mama/Papa/Renny?”

Sampo’s playful grin softened. “Of course you can. What kind of dad would I be if I said no to my favorite little guy?”

Carrying your son back to your bedroom, Sampo made a show of fluffing the pillows and tucking him in. “Alright, bud,” he said as your son settled between the two of you, “you’re in the safest spot in the world now—between two top-tier protectors.”

“Papa,” your son whispered as he clung to your arm, “are you sure the monsters can’t find me here?”

“Monsters?” Sampo chuckled, ruffling the boy’s hair. “Not a chance. Besides, if they tried, I’d outsmart them in a heartbeat. You’ve got a merchant dad, remember? I’d sell them some fake monster repellent and send them running!”

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head at his antics. But it worked—your son giggled, the fear melting from his face. Soon, he was fast asleep, snuggled between you and Sampo.

Sampo leaned over, pressing a kiss to your temple. “See? Problem solved. My charms work on everyone.”

The house was silent save for the rhythmic sound of waves crashing on the shore outside. You were just drifting off to sleep when a tiny knock came at the bedroom door.

“Come in,” Childe called, sitting up immediately. The door creaked open to reveal your four-year-old son, clutching his blanket tightly.

“Papa… Mama/Dada/Renny… I had a bad dream,” he said, his voice shaky. “Can I sleep with you?”

Childe was out of bed in an instant, kneeling to scoop the boy into his arms. “Of course, little one,” he said, his tone soft and reassuring. “Nightmares can’t hurt you when we’re here.”

Your son nestled against Childe’s chest as he carried him back to the bed. As the child crawled into the space between you, Childe tucked the blankets securely around him. “What was the dream about?” he asked, brushing his fingers through your son’s hair.

“There were… shadows,” your son whispered. “And they tried to take me away.”

Childe’s jaw tightened briefly, but his voice remained calm. “Shadows, huh? Well, they don’t stand a chance against us. Your parent and I are the strongest team there is.”

He glanced at you, his eyes softening as he reached over to take your hand. “We’ve got him, right?”

You nodded, smiling. “Always.”

Your son’s breathing slowed as he relaxed, lulled by the warmth and safety of your embrace. Childe watched him for a moment, his hand resting protectively on the boy’s back. “I’ll never let anything happen to him,” he whispered, more to himself than to you.

The soft glow of the night lamp illuminated your room when the faint sound of sniffles reached your ears. Moments later, your four-year-old son appeared at the doorway, his small frame trembling.

“Mommy/Daddy/Renny… Daddy… I had a bad dream,” he said, clutching his blanket. “Can I sleep with you?”

Ratio adjusted his glasses, his intense eyes softening as he looked at the child. “A nightmare?” he murmured, rising to kneel before him. “Dreams are merely the mind’s way of sorting chaos. Let’s bring some order to this, shall we?”

You smiled as Ratio scooped the boy into his arms, his scholarly tone transforming into something gentle and warm. “Come,” he said, settling the child between you. “There is no safer place than here.”

As your son curled up, Ratio placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Tell me what frightened you,” he urged.

“There were big, scary shapes,” your son whispered, his voice muffled against your chest. “And they were chasing me.”

Ratio nodded thoughtfully. “Ah, shadows. A product of fear and imagination,” he explained. “But fear loses its power in the presence of love and knowledge.”

Your son’s eyes fluttered closed as you and Ratio soothed him with quiet reassurances. “Sleep now, my little prodigy,” Ratio whispered, his hand lingering protectively on the boy’s back. “Your dreams will find clarity, and we will always be here to guide you.”

[corruptedcaps]

Travel Size

Rebecca flopped onto the bed, letting out a groan of relief. "Finally. I thought that bus ride was never going to end."

Alex dropped her bag onto the other bed, collapsing beside it. "I feel like I’ve been folded in half for hours."

"I can't wait to just chill out for the next 8 hours and watch basic cable." Rebecca said as she striped off her jeans and went to open her bag to get her pyjamas.

However before she could, there was a knock at the door. Rebecca dragged herself to her feet and opened it to find their friends, Bianca and Cassie standing there, their faces a mix of confusion and annoyance.

"Hey, I think there’s been a mix-up. This isn’t my stuff." Bianca said, holding up her duffel bag.

"Same with mine." Cassie added, holding up her own bag. "I opened it, and it’s full of… weird girly stuff. Definitely not mine."

Rebecca thought back to their departure a few hours before. Her and her friends were on a trip to a science fair while the cheerleaders were heading off to some regional finals. Their buses had been parked side by side, scheduled to leave at the same time.

"Ugh our bags must have been swapped with that sorority brat Amber and her vapid friends!" Rebecca said as she unzipped her bag to find it did in fact contain Amber's things. "Even a weekend away from her bullying and she still manages to annoy us."

Rebecca looked into the bag with a frown, how was she suppose to go to the science fair tomorrow with a bag full of Ambers tight fitting and revealing clothes, she thought to herself. She figured that Amber had to have something more modest and started digging through the bag. That's when she came across a small, mysterious pink box. She held it up, tilting her head in confusion. "What the heck is this?"

Written across the box on a label was the words 'Travel Size'. Cracking it open, Rebecca was shocked at what she saw. As she held it up for the rest of the girls to see, they started to laugh.

"What kind of girl carries a vibrator in her bag? Is she that horny all the time?" Alex said laughing.

Bianca snorted, peering closer. "It’s so… pink. Like aggressively pink."

Cassie giggled. "That's definitely Amber’s. She’s obsessed with anything that screams ‘princess.’"

Rebecca laughed along with them, holding the vibrator out in front of her like it was some kind of prize. She noticed engraved in the side the words ‘Mini-Bitch’.

"Maybe we should hold it ransom, like some sort of kidnapping." Rebecca teased, pressing the button as a joke. However as soon as the vibrations reached her hand, she froze. Her laughter faded, her eyes going wide as an odd, glazed expression overtook her face.

"Rebecca?" Alex asked, frowning. "You okay?"

Rebecca’s hand moved as if it had a will of its own, lowering the vibrator. Her friends watched in confusion and slight alarm as Rebecca lowered her panties, spread her legs and placed the device into her pussy.

The moment the vibrator touched her, a wave of warmth surged through her body. Her shoulders straightened, her posture instantly becoming more elegant and poised. Her frizzy brown hair began to smooth and lighten, taking on a golden shine.

"What the hell?" Bianca whispered, stepping closer.

Rebecca's eyes rolled back as the vibrations shook her body. She gasped as her lips plumped and her skin smoothed.

"Rebecca, stop!" Alex said, not knowing what to do.

But Rebecca either didn't hear her or didn't care and continued to pleasure herself with the device. Her legs lengthened, her hips swayed, and her breasts swelled. Her baggy white shirt tightening up to reveal a now perfect and taut stomach, one that would be envied by the most athletic of cheerleaders.

"Oh my God." Cassie murmured, her hand over her mouth. "She’s gorgeous."

Rebecca let out a pleasurable moan as she orgasmed hard and the changes solidified. She pulled the vibrator away and opened her eyes revealing her previously brown eyes were now an icy blue. Her lips parted into a slow, wicked smile. "I'm not gorgeous loser... I'm perfect." Her voice was softer, smoother, dripping with confidence.

"Rebecca, what the hell happened?" Alex demanded, panic rising in her voice. "Whatever that thing is, it’s not normal!"

Rebecca glanced at the vibrator in her hand, her smile widening. "Not normal? This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m a fucking bratty bitch and I love it!"

She turned the vibrator back on, the buzzing sound almost hypnotic as she looked at her friends with malicious intent. "In fact maybe you all should give it a try."

Rebecca’s wicked smile grew as she turned her gaze to her nearest friend, Bianca. Before Bianca could react, Rebecca lunged, grabbing her arm with surprising strength.

"Rebecca, what are you doing? Let go!" Bianca shouted, trying to pull away.

"Oh babe, you’ll thank me in a moment." Rebecca purred, her voice silky and commanding.

With a swift motion, Rebecca shoved the buzzing vibrator against Bianca's jeans, right next to her pussy. Bianca squirmed and tried to fight, but once the vibrations hit her, her protests waned.

"That’s it, doesn’t it feel good? Wouldn't you like some more?" Rebecca cooed, her voice dripping with darkness. Bianca only managed a guilty nod as she reached down and undid her pants. They dropped off easily and once Rebecca had enough room, she slid the vibrator into Bianca's now eager slit.

Any of Bianca’s remaining struggles vanished as the changes began. Her unruly hair smoothed and darkened to a glossy chestnut, cascading perfectly straight over her shoulders. Her skin glowed with a radiant, flawless sheen, her lips plumping into a sultry pout. Her glasses slipped from her face as her eyes brightened, sharp and predatory. Her tits grew into perfect little orbs.

Rebecca satisfied with her creation, removed the vibrator before it could make Bianca into a beauty that could challenge her. She wanted a bitchy best friend, not a rival.

Bianca gasped as it was removed, her breathing heavy as she ran a hand through her transformed hair. Her lips curled into a slow, sultry smile. "Mmm, thanks Becky. I feel so yummy and bad now."

"Becky? Mmm, I like the sound of that." Rebecca grinned, clearly pleased at the sound of her new name on her lips. She glanced at Cassie, who was frozen in wide-eyed horror. "Now, grab Cassie. She’s next."

Without hesitation, Bianca turned to Cassie, her newfound strength overpowering her easily as she slammed her onto the bed. Cassie kicked and screamed, but Bianca held her in place, smirking all the while.

"Please, don’t do this!" Cassie pleaded, her voice cracking.

Becky stepped forward, holding the buzzing vibrator like a weapon. "Oh, Cassie." She said with mock sweetness. "This isn’t something I’m doing TO you. This is something I’m doing FOR you. You’ll see."

With deft speed, Becky lifted Cassie’s long skirt and slipped the vibrator inside her. Becky watched in evil glee as Cassie moaned like a wanton whore as her body trembled with the changes. Her red hair growing sleek and voluminous. Her plain, nervous demeanor gave way as her features perfected and became strikingly beautiful.

The chubby fat she had always had melted away to give her a slim and enviable tummy. Long pretty nails grew on her fingers, erasing the dirty ones she had. Her crooked teeth magically aligned themselves it a flawless set that she ran her tongue across. 

Becky took the vibrator out even earlier than she had with Bianca. She was creating a hierarchy and each girl would know their place, but the main thing would be that she alone sat atop it. Bianca would be her bitchy bestie but Cassie would be her slutty bestie.

Cassie stood up as Becky backed away, vibrator in hand. Cassie admired herself in the mirror, touching her lips, her eyes gleaming with lust. "Wow, I, like, look incredible. I could cream my out panties right now." She giggled, her voice now in a higher, bitchier register. 

Becky chuckled, crossing her arms. "Told you. Doesn’t it feel amazing to be this perfect?"

Cassie turned to Becky, a slow, wicked grin spreading across her face. "You were soooo right. Thanks, babes."

"Anytime." Becky replied, her voice cool and dripping with authority. She gestured toward the door. "Now, girls, I think we should go out and show ourselves off don’t you?"

Becky, Bianca, and Cassie rummaged through the bags scattered around the room, tossing aside cheerleading uniforms and workout gear until they uncovered sleek, sexy outfits. Becky held up skintight black latex pants, and a top that looked like it would barely contain her new tits. Grinning wickedly she slid them on. Bianca found a fiery red jumpsuit that accentuated every curve, while Cassie chose a shimmering silver mini-dress that barely covered her ass.

The three girls admired themselves in the mirror, their beauty and arrogance radiating from every angle. They looked less like college students and more like models ready to dominate the club scene.

Becky adjusted her hair in the mirror, her icy blue eyes gleaming. "Perfection. We’ll have every head turning tonight." She purred, turning to her friends. 

Bianca laughed, tossing her glossy hair over her shoulder. "They won’t know what hit them. I think I’ll break up a relationship tonight."

Cassie giggled, striking a pose. "We’re like so fucking hawt. I can’t wait to wrap my lips around a big cock."

"No! No this… this is wrong." Said the quiet voice of Alex in the corner.

All three girls quickly shot Alex a look that made her shiver. Becky looked at her with genuine surprise. “Forgot you were even there dork. Girls, grab her.”

Without hesitation, Bianca and Cassie moved in, each grabbing one of Alex’s arms. Alex struggled weakly, her voice trembling. “Becky, please, don’t—”

“Oh, shut it Alex.” Becky said, sauntering toward her with the pink vibrator buzzing in her hand. “I’m giving you a gift. You’re about to become one of us. Special, beautiful, powerful. You should be thanking me!”

Alex’s eyes darted to the vibrator, her breathing quickening. Deep down, a small part of her wanted to give in, to join her transformed friends and bask in the allure of their newfound perfection.

Becky leaned in closer, the vibrator just inches from Alex’s crotch. “Don’t fight it. You want this. I can see it in your eyes.”

Alex’s resolve wavered as the buzzing sound filled her ears, but just as Becky moved the vibrator closer, it suddenly sputtered and died. The buzzing stopped, and the room went silent.

Becky blinked in surprise before letting out a sharp, cruel laugh. “Well, well, looks like it’s out of juice.” She said, shaking the device mockingly. She tossed it into her clutch and turned her icy gaze back to Alex.

“Guess that means you’ll just have to be our bullying victim then, loser.” Becky sneered. Without warning, she slammed her fist into Alex’s stomach.

Alex gasped, doubling over in pain as Bianca and Cassie dropped her and laughed cruelly.

Becky stood over her, smirking. “But that can wait until Monday back on campus. Right now…” She glanced at her friends, her voice dripping with anticipation. “We’ve got a nightclub to get to. Come on, girls.”

The three of them strutted out of the room, their laughter echoing in the hallway as Alex remained on the floor, clutching her stomach and watching helplessly as the door swung shut behind them.

Alex lifted herself off of the floor and onto her bed, the lingering smell of the three bitches perfume hanging in the air making her sick. Her eyes roamed over to the discarded case on Becky’s bed that had housed the vibrator. The words on the case giving her pause.

“If that’s the ‘travel size’, then where is the regular size?” She thought to herself.

[betweenthescarletmoon]

Random Thoughts on the Arcane Fandom about Jayce

this is gonna be a mess but I have nowhere else to talk about this.

I've recently noticed how Jayce Talis has been subjected to all kinds of sexualization since the drop of Act 2 of the second season. People have mentioned many times how trauma has made him "hot". A good and well-known example of this is Danny Motta's reaction to episode 5, where he said, "Holy shit, they made Jayce hot! [...] My dude went from looking like a Muppet to the king of Rohan, and all it took was a little bit of trauma."

This isn't entirely new for him? If people didn't hate Jayce back in S1, they ogled him in the scene where he works on the Forge shirtless, which IS kinda the point because the animators are making him very obviously attractive. But most importantly, he as a character has been reduced to his sexual or romantic relationships since the beginning of time.

It seems that S2 is a response to this in a way. His arc from the ending of S1, where he took responsibility of his actions out of guilt for the child he killed, was slightly set aside for Viktor. Well, ALL of his life, dreams, decisions, everything about him was eclipsed by Viktor's shadow because of the whole "all times, all possibilities" twist. He wasn't expected to show up as a Councilor in any of the meetings, and we must assume he quits at some point, but he surely hasn't resigned from his position by the time Viktor wakes up. Apart from that much needed scene between him and Cait, and the one where he attends the memorial (and is attacked by a vengeful mother), we don't see many of his decisions or what leads him to make them, other than Viktor. This is beautiful in a way because we can SEE how it is a trauma response to losing him. He is obsessive by nature, and he clings to what keeps him and his loved ones safe excessively, but I still had to do a bit of mental gymnastics as to why he went back on the second promise: to not build Hextech weapons again. (Hint: it has to do with the fact that VI saved him with HIS weapon, but it went so fast it's hard to process in the first watch.)

Now back to the sexualization problem. Every time I look up his name and trauma, or PTSD, 95% of the results are thirst edits on Tiktok about how hot he is. No joke. One of the more serious results is my own edit. Of course, a lot of people connect with his suffering without naming it as trauma, and that is great. My concern is that there has been so much focus on Jinx's trauma, Viktor's trauma, even Silco's trauma (which are all valid and fascinating to explore), but there's less attention for other characters who clearly show how their own traumatic experiences has shaped them. Vi, Caitlyn, and Jayce are some of the clearest examples of this, and they've experienced some truly heinous things in the show. Trauma cannot be compared, ever. But why is it that Jayce, who lived through an apocalypse that HE knows HE caused, and lives in complete isolation except the "company" of metal watchers, to the point that he loses touch with reality, and is changed so irrevocably that he loses the naivety and starry-eyed optimism that has always defined him...is seen as hot? And more importantly, why is it that there is very little attention to his experiences on that cave? Every scene between him and Viktor is uploaded in 1080 HD quality, but the scenes of him alone? Fighting to survive? Showing remarkable resilience in the face of his suffering? No, that's not as fun. Not a single one of those scenes is uploaded fully, and I have checked many times. (Some people have actually skipped those scenes to focus on Timebomb. I'm...)

I went online and looked up "why do people sexualize traumatized characters" because let's face it, it's real, it's interesting, and I cannot judge or else I am a hypocrite. Bucky Barnes, Loki, Ellie Williams, Dean Winchester, Vi herself, the list goes on much longer but I can't think of others off the top of my head. We connect with their suffering, and we are pulled by their experiences.

However, Jayce is such a complicated case because he is usually thought of as the greedy himbo that fumbled two baddies, or the confused bisexual, or the guy who lost it because of a situationship (much like Vi, who DID NOT lose it because of a failed romantic endeavor bfr). And then the plot goes and tells us, "Actually, yeah, his life outside of Viktor doesn't matter, he's not even supposed to be alive, because Viktor saved him. All of time is completely inextricable from Viktor." People hate meljay because she manipulated him and "trapped" him in a relationship or something, only to celebrate it when something suspiciously similar happens with the male romantic interest? I initially thought it was beautiful too, bc Soulmates, but man. Mage!Viktor really left the man he loved to rot in complete isolation, eating raw reptiles until throwing up, losing his mind. Say what you want about the allegory for Viktor's life, at least Viktor's isolation was metaphorical up until the Glorious Evolution.

Despite us being shown this, people make thirst edits of him in his black fit, and fighting with sexual tension with Viktor. I fear...that I am the only one who finds this tragic. The man forced to create a larger than life persona to sell his work and be seen as an attractive pawn of the system, has become the attractive pawn of the narrative. Viktor's narrative.

Perhaps Viktor was forgotten by the world. But Jayce's kind heart, and brave soul, were forgotten by us.

Just some thoughts to chew about my favorite character and my wish that more people focused on his arc with me

[rinhaler]

Tell Me Where The Piece Go, 'Cause I'm Lost

CHAPTER SUMMARY: all you and megumi do is argue. and he's happy to leave you to your own devices, but after he and Gojo have a few drinks together, Megumi's lips begin to loosen in regards to you.

boyfriend!yuuji itadori x f!reader x bully!megumi fushiguro

WARNINGS : 18+, drinking, pining, arguing, etc.

WORDS : 5k

notes : kinda obsessed with megumi here idk xo

       LAST CHAPTER ┊ MASTERLIST ┊ NEXT CHAPTER

—

Gojo pulls up outside of your house and you can barely bring yourself to even look at the place. The home you built with Yuuji. The memories that you shared there with him and the romance that has bloomed into something so beautiful. You’ve allowed Megumi Fushiguro, your bully, to defile the blossoms with a litany of weeds. Weeds you could no longer fight or get rid of. They’ve taken root and as Gojo’s words replay in your mind, you know those roots will continue to grow.

You hadn’t noticed Megumi has been staring at you through the rear-view mirror the whole journey. But his gaze is intently fixated on you when Gojo parks outside of your home. He's focusing on your facial features. He was trying his best to decipher what was going on in your mind and what your next move would be.

To his surprise, his eyes widen when you fling the car door open and rush up the stairs to your front door. The speed in which you leave the car makes Megumi’s jaw lower slightly, his mouth agape. He catches himself, though, after hearing Gojo clear his throat and realise what he's doing.

They both deduce from the way you're frantically searching for your keys that you're crying. Eyes filled with tears and causing the world around you to be nothing but a meaningless blur.

“You wanna go help her?” Gojo asks, almost too quietly. Megumi barely hears him, his words almost being beaten by the sounds of the birds tweeting in the trees.

“This is your fault, you know.” Megumi groans back in response, “For pushing her. Shoulda just dropped it, Gojo. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. Why are you tryna paint a picture of something that isn’t there?”

Gojo sucks air into his cheeks and puffs it back out of his pursed lips, a crass sound accompanying it. He pushes his little round shades up into his hair; his shimmering, worldly eyes boring into Megumi as he forces his surrogate son to stare into them. He’s searching, Megumi thinks, searching for a weak spot in his armour to point out any lies.

“Sure.” he smirks, leaning back into his seat and unbuckling his belt, “But that’s not what I asked. Are you gonna go help the poor girl? She even left her bags in the trunk.”

Megumi scowls, a quick ‘tch’ leaving his agitated lips before he steps out of the car. He slowly approaches you, your bag tossed to the ground whilst you sit on your doorstep curled up into a ball and crying. You don’t even notice him getting closer to you. One minute your world is an unclear smudge through your sodden lenses, the next moment you hear the chain of your purse rattle and a giant standing beside you rifling through it.

You wipe your tears away hurriedly, still not completely clearing them. From the low angle you’re sitting in, Megumi looks like a giant. He looks like Toji.

He tests a few keys in the hole before he finally finds the one that works, slotting it in perfectly and turning the handle. He pushes the door open for you, but walks in first. It’s not surprising that he doesn’t offer you a hand up. So soon after telling you he loves you in a drug induced stupor and he’s back to his old self.

You toss your keys onto the coffee table carelessly before crumpling down onto the couch. Megumi isn’t beside you, you didn’t even notice him in the kitchen when you walked by. You’re happy to never look at him again, if possible. But he emerges, eventually. A tall glass of water with a few ice cubes in his hand. He pushes a coaster from the coffee table closer to you and sets it down.

“Are you— uh… Do you need anything?” he asks, stammering over himself. He pinches the end of his nose again and again to scratch it as he waits for you to answer.

“You can’t even ask me, can you? Were you going to ask i-if I’m okay?” you question. His eyes go a little wide, but it’s barely perceptible to you. He pulls his lips into a straight line and grunts at the unintentionally rude question.

“I was. I decided I don’t care.” he replies defensively, and you can’t help but scoff.

“There it is. God. I’m such an idiot.” you tell him. You pull the sleeve of your jacket over your hand and dab the ball of your wrist into your eye as you try and dispel anymore tears eager to line your vision.

“There what is? Why would I care to ask when you’re obviously not okay? I don’t have a time machine, O’Keeffe, I can’t make last night go away. There’s nothing I can do. We did what we did so there’s no use fuckin’ crying over it.” he bites at you.

“Don’t you think I know that?” you raise your voice a little, your words getting caught in your throat as tears begin to stream down your cheeks and your lips swell from the pressure of your mouth pulling and stretching to allow you to sob loudly. “You’re so fucked up Megumi, you don’t even realise it. You’re beyond help.”

“Shut up. If you’re gonna turn to insults you know who’ll win. You’re already crying babe, won’t take much to push you over the edge.” he explains.

“What is wrong with you? Do you hear yourself?”

“You wanted me last night. You’ve got such a fucking victims mentality, that’s what I can’t stand about you. You’ve been a victim your whole life and now you’re turning on me because you regret what happened. Newsflash, I’m not thrilled about it either.” he informs you. You don’t respond right away, more interested in wiping away your tears for the time being.

“You can’t keep getting away with this…” you sigh, wiping your nose and sitting forward on the sofa as you consider your next words carefully. “There is something seriously wrong with you, Megumi. I’ve known you and your M.O. long enough now to know you wanted this to happen over the weekend.”

“Huh? Are you joking?”

“This would never have happened if you didn’t pressure me into doing coke!” you yell, breaking down into sobs as you linger on the memory a moment too long. “You convinced me and manipulated me into doing so many drugs I’m surprised I’m even alive to talk about it!”

“You’re so fucking dramatic!” he yells back at you, turning away to pace around the room and rake his fingers through his hair. “Look, this is only a big deal because you’re making it one. I’m not gonna say anything and Gojo won’t either. If you keep your big mouth shut—”

“You don’t get it,” you start, interrupting his strategy. “I am so in love with Yuuji. It’s unconditional and I don’t doubt for a minute that he loves me too. I’m not scared to be with him or worried he’s going to have a change of personality from one minute to the next like I do with you.”

“And?”

“And, I know he’d do anything and everything to make me happy. I know he wants to be with me forever… And I love him so much, Megumi.”

He grits his teeth and his face scrunches tensely as he registers what you’re telling him. But he knew that already. He knew all of that but he still can’t help the irritating feeling gnawing at his insides.

“What’s your point, O’Keeffe?”

“How am I meant to be with him for the rest of my life if I don’t tell him the truth?” you finish, lip wobbling and beginning to bawl into your sleeves again.

Megumi looks down at you like you’re nothing. Your tears and emotions mean nothing to him as he watches your heart shatter over the breakdown of your relationship. His lips are back to being in a tight line and his green eyes glower down at you. You’re not even looking at him and you can feel the way they are burning into you. He went against his better judgement to come in here and try to help you. And you repaid him by telling him how fucked up he is. He has no sympathy for you. None. Because last night, no matter what the circumstances were, you wanted him just as badly as he wanted you.

“I don’t care if you tell him. It’s you who’ll get dumped by the end of it, not me. Do what you want O’Keeffe.” he turns away to walk out of the door, but you can’t let him go like this. Like he’s won a game of chess rather than destroying your life.

“Megumi, wait.” you call to him. He stops in his tracks, and then finally turns to face you once more. “I— I shared my body with you last night, Megumi. I risked everything that makes me happy… for you.”

He sighs, looking down at the ground before looking back at you. You back away when you notice him getting closer to you. It’s slow, deliberately intimidating and you can’t bring yourself to move away quick enough. You remember standing upright one minute and then falling back down onto the couch the next. His body towering over you and caging you between his arms. Your faces so close to each other your noses almost touched.

“Said you were lonely, baby. Wanted me because you were missin’ Yuuji.” he tells you in hushed tones. The memory of your words comes rushing back as you relive the incident that has lead to the two of you being like this now. “Victims mentality. I had nothing to lose and I was horny, O’Keeffe. You wanted me, and you could have said no.”

“But I—”

“Use all the excuses you want, princess. You wanted me. And now, you’re playing the victim. Because now you realise what you’ve done, and that you’ve risked everything to have it. To have me.”

“Do you love me, Megumi? Last night—”

“Are you fucking serious?” he asks, a gruff and infuriated tone lacing his words. “Use the fucking internet and look up the effects of E. You are somethin’ else, really. I told you. I wanted to get off, and you didn’t want to be lonely.” he pulls away so quickly from you that he creates a breeze. The air makes your tear-soaked cheeks cold. Your loose hairs flow and follow him. Your eyes are lifeless. You can’t hide how dead inside you feel.

You risked your perfect relationship with Yuuji Itadori for a meaningless handjob with Megumi Fushiguro.

Your former, or maybe still current, bully.

He decides enough is enough, heading towards the front door and slamming it after himself. You hear the passenger side door slam quickly after, but you don’t hear the car pull away. You quickly take the opportunity to google the effects of ecstasy, curiosity getting the better of you. Although, you feel like you already have a good idea what it’s gonna say thanks to Megumi’s patronising response.

How you might feel: ‘loved up’

You are such a fool. You’re so embarrassed and you wish you’d never opened your mouth to ask such a stupid question.

Of course he doesn’t love you.

You don’t even want him to love you, but it at least would have given just cause for him to thrust all of this pain onto you. If he were jealous of Yuuji. If he was trying to break you up and wanted you for himself.

But, really, you could have been anyone. You were just… there. It was the right place and the right time for Megumi. But the wrong place and time for you.

There is a soft knock on the door and you jump to your feet. Gojo peers inside with a guilty looking smile, pushing the door open with his elbow to let himself in with your bags in tow.

“It’s just me.” he greets you.

You’re deflated once again, falling back into the sofa. But now, you’re done. You’re exhausted and you can’t take it anymore. You lie down and close your eyes. It might all be a bad dream. Maybe you can wake up and be in bed with Yuuji holding you close. You’d give anything to hear him whisper good morning to you right now. Anything at all to giggle and squirm as he begs to eat you out before you go to class.

“Is there anything I can do, sweetheart? Anything at all, you name it.” Gojo queries, hoping to coax you out of your depressive state.

“Please… just go.”

He sighs, placing down your bags and heading for the front door.

“You have my number. If you need anything please call. Even if it’s just a friendly ear.” he smiles. You look at him briefly before observing the way the ice cubes are moving in the drink that Megumi got you. Without another word, Gojo carefully closes the door behind him. And finally, finally, you hear the car pull away.

—

“Do you wanna—”

“No, Gojo, I don’t want to talk about it.” Megumi answers before his surrogate father can finish speaking. Gojo chuckles which irritates Megumi even more. “Stop laughing before I punch you.”

“I was actually going to ask if you’d like to go for a drink somewhere.”

Megumi’s body stiffens before exhaling a heavy sigh of relief. His cheeks are flushed pink with vague embarrassment and even he finds himself laughing a little. He nods, thinking the sound of something alcoholic sounds just fine.

“Leave the car at my place, I’ll ask my sister if she can take us.” Megumi insists. Gojo nods, agreeing with his idea. It definitely beats paying taxi fares.

Earlier, you mentioned Megumi being manipulative. And he isn’t ashamed to admit to himself that it’s true. He did manipulate you into doing drugs with him, but you did them nonetheless. And, somehow, manipulation is a skill of his that gets him through everyday life.

Like now, for instance.

Poor Tsumiki has been working all day, and she’s exhausted. But how could she deny her dear little brother a single thing in this life?

He barely walks in the door and he's already asking her to do things for him. She’s always so sweet and positive and it gets on Megumi’s fucking nerves.

And she can’t help but extend that kindness to Gojo when she sees him. She’s more than happy to drop her second father and beloved brother off wherever they need to go.

“Did you have fun on your trip, Megumi? I’m sorry I couldn’t get you.” Tsumiki breaks the silence in the car, eager to alleviate whatever tension is brewing inside.

“Not to worry, he was happy waiting for dad to pick him up. Weren’t you, Megumi?” Gojo grins in the backseat. Megumi cranes his neck to look back at him and scowl. “You know your brother, always finds a way to make fun for himself.”

“Is your classmate okay? Did they have fun? I felt so guilty when dad told me—”

“I’m fine. She’s fine. Drop it.”

Tsumiki feels her insides drop lower as she tries to determine whether she heard him right. She looks up into the rear-view mirror to meet Gojo’s eyes and then back to her brother.

“She? You were stranded with a girl?” she asks.

“Does it matter?” Megumi responds.

“Well, yeah! Kind of!” Tsumiki beams, doing her best to contain her excitement and be focused on the road. “I didn’t even know you made any friends at your new school, let alone a girl! And you shared a room with her? Oh my God!”

“Shut up. God I can’t fucking stand you, you’re so annoying.”

“Did you share a bed? Do you like her? Is she your girlfriend? Oh my God Megumi I’m so excited!”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Megumi bites at her loudly, stunning her a little and retreating back into herself.

“W-What?”

“You know I’ve brought girls home before. You’re acting like I’m a fucking virgin who’s never even talked to a girl before. This isn’t a big deal, at all. Why is everyone acting like it’s such a big fucking deal?” he complains, his heart rate increasing and his breathing becoming louder and heavier.

“No, I know. I’ve complained a fair few times about the racket you make when you bring girls over, I know you’re not a virgin. But… as far as I’m aware I don’t think you’ve ever been friends with a girl before. I’m sorry, I got excited.” Tsumiki apologises meekly. The car is silent, again. One beat too many to keep it from being awkward. But finally, Megumi speaks.

“We’re not friends. It just… happened. It’s complicated.”

“People say shit like that when they’re in denial, you know. ‘It’s complicated.’ I think little Megumi is in love, Tsumiki.” Gojo smiles widely, such a cheesy and aggravating smile that takes up the majority of his face.

“Gojo, I swear to fucking God.” Megumi grimaces.

“Wait…” Tsumiki thinks, turning a corner in the car. She’s almost gotten them to their destination, but now the cogs are whirring in her mind and she doesn’t want this conversation to be over. “It’s the girl I met not that long ago, isn’t it?” she wondered. Megumi raises an eyebrow, obviously confused.

“The one who’s friends with dad. Yuuji’s girlfriend. Was it her?” she asks again. Megumi forces his eyes closed, as much as he could before looking out of the window and nodding. “Oh! Well, I’m sorry for prying. I didn’t realise.”

She turns the car back on track and heads towards the bar they want to be taken to. Megumi’s brows furrow in confusion, though he doesn’t speak or look at her directly. Instead, he side eyes her. Trying to read her process that lead her to dropping the topic entirely. She parks outside of the bar, smiling gleefully at her brother.

“I should have known you were just taking care of your best friend’s girlfriend! You’re such a good boy Megumi, I’m so proud of you.” she tells him, pinching his cheek like an overly adoring mother. Megumi’s eyes flutter shut as she tries to shut her words out and prevent himself from smiling or laughing. My God, Tsumiki is such an idiot. Although, ‘taking care’ of you is one way of putting what happened.

“Oh sweetheart…” Gojo sighs. Tsumiki turns back to look at him, confusion taking over her features. She cocks her head, prompting him to continue, but he doesn’t. “Nothing, thank you for the ride. C’mon Megumi.”

—

You haven’t moved from the couch in hours.

Since Gojo left, in fact.

You’d decompose here if you could.

But your bladder gets the better of you. You take the opportunity to get up and lock the front door and then go to pee afterwards. It’s so dark, now. Your eyes are swollen and puffy and you decide you should probably take yourself to bed. With your phone in one hand and your fluffy blanket in the other, you carry yourself up the stairs and into the second bedroom.

You aren’t sure if smelling Yuuji’s scent in your main room downstairs will make you feel better or worse.

And while you’re struggling to function normally. While your heart is decaying and you are finding it difficult to even turn the TV on for some background noise; Gojo and Megumi are having the time of their lives.

Gojo is on his fifth bottle of beer whilst Megumi has lost count. They are laughing, joking around and making memories that brutal hangovers will help them forget the following day.

They’re playing pool. Another hidden skill of Megumi’s. As Gojo takes a shot and accidentally pots the white ball, they both burst into a fit a laughter. Megumi picks up the white when it rolls through the table and lines up a shot he thinks will be perfect. And even if it isn’t, he gets two shots.

“I love Tsumiki,” Gojo smiles, wiping away a tear. “I can’t quite believe she managed to talk herself out of her suspicions.”

“She’s an idiot.” Megumi reminds him, potting the striped 13 ball seamlessly. He stands upright and changes his position, searching for his next target. “Stop talking about it. I’m still pissed about your pathetic little comment in the car.” he alerts him. Gojo’s relaxed pose turns steadier and more serious.

“Comment?”

“Forget it.” he responds, potting another ball. Striped 9. Gojo wracks his brain as he tries to remember what he said in the car. Something bothersome enough to make his son hold a grudge.

“Ah.” it comes back to him, but decides nothing more needs to be said. Megumi rolls his eyes and takes another shot, this time missing and potting Gojo’s solid 7 ball. Fuck. “Careful now… Going to form a habit of touching other people’s things.” he smirks, leaning over the table to try and take a shot of his own.

Megumi snarls but keeps his mouth shut. Gojo whistles and orders another two beers for the pair of them, noticing Megumi trying to slurp the dregs from his bottle to no avail. During the wait for their drinks, Gojo makes one shot and misses another. Megumi grabs his bottle hastily and drains the contents almost too quick to register. His Adam’s apple bobs as he downs the liquid in less than thirty seconds, and then he orders another.

“I’m a little worried about you, kiddo.” Gojo tells him. Megumi shakes his head, taking his next shot.

“Don’t.”

“I haven’t seen you in— We haven’t talked for— You’re a son to me, Megumi. I’m allowed to worry.” he finishes, taking a small sip of his beer.

“What do you want from me? Huh? To call you dad? Will you drop this conversation if I call you dad?” he slurs, staggering a little as he works his way around the table. “Okay dad. What do you wanna talk about dad?”

Gojo sighs, taking a bigger drink before setting it down and leaning against the pool table.

“It’s alright,” Gojo smiles.

“This fucking chick. I’m sick of her. Everyone’s in my business, no one cared about me before she came along and now everyone won’t leave me the fuck alone.” he explains. Gojo nods, wanting to display that he’s listening to him.

“There have been a lot of big changes in your life, Megumi. You moved back home. Toji is back. And your situation with this girl is clearly a heavy burden on your shoulders.” Gojo speaks as he chalks up his pool cue.

“Don’t even mention that bastard. I hate him and I hate her.”

“Megumi, try not to bite my head off but… Would you consider going back to therapy?” Gojo wonders. Megumi shakes his head and scoffs.

“Didn’t like it. Fuckin’ useless.” he announces. “And an- another thing about O’Keeffe, she’s just so perfect. Not, like, I think she’s perfec- perfect. But she thinks she is. Like she can’t do anything wrong. I hate her, I fucking hate her.”

“What happened today? When I wasn’t there.” Gojo wonders. Megumi’s eyes roll over white and he somehow manages to make his next shot despite him being able to see three white balls instead of one.

“She just blamed me for everything. Said it was my fault we hooked up even though she was crying about being lonely. Like… I mean…”

“What?”

“Okay, okay. Maybe it’s my fault. I got her to get high with me and she’s never— I don’t think she’s done drugs before? Can’t remember. Anyway. She went along with it. And we were both just… handjobs are nice, right? Fun and feels nice and getting to cum with someone is—”

“Keep it down Megumi.” Gojo warns him.

“What? Look, I could have fucked her but getting jerked off was enough, y’know? It was just nice. It was just really fucking nice and I liked it and I thought she liked it too. But n-now she’s worried about Yuuji and she’s pissed at me but she wanted it. I came, she came, and I thought it was all good a-and fine but she’s being a cunt now... and I hate her.”

“Do you… like her, Megumi?” Gojo probes.

“Are you— are you deaf? I said I hate her, you aren’t listening to me. I hate her.”

“But you’re upset that she’s mad at you.”

“Y-Yeah, so? Thought we were gonna be frien- fine. And she’s just making a big fuckin’ deal out of it. I just don’t… I don’t get it. It was nice.” Megumi rambles. Gojo nods again, knowing the conversation would be better if they were both sober. He’s making mental notes though. Making sure to lock away the information to discuss with him another time. “Like— Like her, tch. Dumb ass. Never even thought… For a second anything like that would happen between us. Especially after we kissed at her parents place and—”

“Back. It. Up. Cowboy. You hooked up before this?” Gojo interrupts.

“I— not really. We kissed. I kissed her. Dunno why, just felt like it. But she slapped me ‘n I just thought it was funny. Made her cheat on Yuuji and started keepin’ s-secrets.”

“Megumi…” Gojo sighs. “You felt like kissing her.”

“Yeah.”

“And you wanted to make her keep secrets from Yuuji… Something to eat away at their relationship.” Gojo continues. Megumi hiccups and his eyes squint. His body sways and the only balance he has is the pool cue between his fists keeping him upright.

“R-Right, so?” Megumi responds. Gojo smiles, gritting his teeth and it appears he’s more pained than joyous. He shrugs his shoulders and doesn’t say another word, hoping even in his drunken state that Megumi will connect the dots. Megumi’s body relaxes. He goes limp and the pool cue drops out of his hands. He falls backwards into the wall behind him and slides down until he’s sitting on the sticky flooring. Gojo rushes to him, crouching down on one knee and trying to get Megumi’s attention. “Oh fuck. Oh G-God. Gojo, n-no.” he stammers, not looking at Gojo but through him.

“It’s okay, Megumi. I’ll get us a cab and get us home.”

“N-No. Gojo, it’s not fucking alright. I like her, don’t I? I fucking l-like O’Keeffe. No no no, this isn’t right.” Megumi wrestles with himself. Gojo helps him up with one of his sons arms around his shoulders and leads him outside into the fresh air. “Gojo I— I don’t— like her, do I?”

“I think you do, kid.” Gojo grins earnestly, happy to get an admission out of Megumi. “Maybe even more than that.”

“W-What?” Megumi wonders aloud, a twinge of fear intertwined with his drunken speech, “Gojo… Do I— Do I love her?” Megumi asks. Like he’s asking his genuine advice as if Gojo knows Megumi’s feelings better than he does. It’s probably true. Despite his feelings being his own, he can’t connect with them. He can’t connect with himself.

“It seems that way. Either you’re in love with her or you’re falling there, that’s my guess.” Gojo tells him.

Megumi begins to shiver as the cool night air attacks him. Gojo keeps him upright and tries to pass along his body warmth to him as they wait for a taxi to pull up and collect them. Neither of them can believe how dark it is. Light morning sky turned to a black abyss and somehow neither of them have eaten or slept. Megumi has done nothing but drink since seeing you and it all feels like the same long day that you hooked up and argued about it. And now, out of nowhere, he’s found out he has feelings for you. Actual feelings. The type that people write songs about. The type that could potentially make you happy rather than terrified.

He likes you.

He might even love you.

“Fuck.”

—

You left Netflix running when you finally got the TV on. Final Space has been paused for a while since you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to press continue watching when it was prompted. You’ve been staring at your phone for hours. Your thumb hovering over Gojo’s name as you debated sending him a message.

Over and over again you scrolled through all of your contacts. A variety of people stood out but none of them that you wanted to call. You still had the numbers of people you had fallen out with and no longer talked to. There was one thing you wanted to do; and that thing was to scream. You felt desperate to let it all out, but there wasn’t a soul you could confide in.

The one person you did call, Toji, still wasn’t answering his calls or texts. It worries you that he isn’t responding, it’s so unlike him. You even contemplated calling your mother. But after last time you couldn’t think of a worse thing to do. You don’t need to give your parents any more ammunition to disparage you from your relationship and get into your head about doing what they want.

So, Gojo is all you have. But maybe you should just go to sleep and try to forget everything that has happened. Wash the day away from you and imagine yourself somewhere far away. Wherever Yuuji is, perhaps. But you can’t lock your phone screen. All you can do is stare at Gojo’s name. Your thumb venturing closer and closer to the phone icon. It’s out of your hands, now. You need to call him. You need to talk to somebody.

But as you’re about to press the button, your entire screen is filled with an incoming call. It shocks you. For some reason your phone isn’t on silent so the garish ringtone slices through your body like knives. You’re lucky your phone is somehow still in your hand and not smashed against your bedroom wall. You’re so fucking lucky. Luckier than you could have imagined being today. You press the green phone button so fast and bring the speaker to your ear.

“Yuuji?”

—

© 2025 rinhaler

—

[lilacwatchguard]

The Blue Glow Softens You And Me

If this looks familiar it is also on my ao3 under the same name by Lexitennant2 :)

Relationship: Jayce x Viktor

Warnings: 18+smut, most if not all are in tags but; sex, praise kink, dom/sub undertones, pwp, use of 'puppy' as term of endearment but could be interpreted another way if you really want to, I'm not here to judge

Summary:

Jayce feels dirty.

He's only known Viktor for a week now but the man is constantly in his thoughts. He wants to touch him, to bask in his partners attention and hang off his every word. He's obsessed and he thinks he'll never get a chance with Viktor but then...Viktor sees him in the shower and he sees his own wants reflected back at him.

Maybe there is hope.

Word Count: 15,189

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jayce feels dirty.

Physically , he’s still sweaty from the forge, the small towel for his face hanging limply around his neck. There’s black tingeing his fingers; could be oil from the machines or any other number of countless substances lingering in the forge. His white tank top clings to his chest and he wants to pull it off, feeling itchy from the cooling sweat, but he’s walking the halls of the academy and he can’t walk through it shirtless. It’s probably taboo that he's not in his uniform, but he forgot his change of clothes in the lab he shares with Viktor.

Which is where he’s heading now, keeping his head ducked low to ignore the stares he’s getting - some appreciative, some disgusted - and hurries his pace.

Not because he wants his clothes - well that’s not the main reason, he would love a chance to shower, the hot water hitting pleasantly sore muscles, changing into academy issued sweats so he can keep working in the lab - but because Viktor is still there.

Mentally, he’s dreamt of fucking Viktor on their work bench, the blue glow of the hextech highlighting every sharp angle of Viktor’s face, and giving him a soft ethereal glow. It kind of scares him, this wanting , he has for his partner. His science partner. He wants to bite and chew on that stupid mole that sits a little above his upper lip. He wants to lick and trace the curves of Viktor’s angled nose. Jayce wants to sit him in his lap and tear him apart, slowly. Wants to know what sounds he’d make, if he’d bite his bottom lip like he does when they’ve reached a snag in their research.

Fuck, it’s only been a week since councilor Medarda gave them their chance to stabilize the hextech. Seven days since Jayce’s ears started ringing when he registered Viktor’s excuse later in the night, after they’d finally found a way to come back down. 

Oh this isn’t my bedroom.

Who fucking says that?!

Jayce had already been a little hot under the collar, the exhilaration from the weightlessness, of his Arcane dream finally, finally coming to fruition. The leftover adrenaline from getting caught outside Heimerdinger's lab.

He’d started out picturing Mel. 

She was stunning. Only an idiot couldn’t see it. Her eyes were sharp but playful, her lips full. The glittering gold that shimmered on her face made her seem like a dessert, brushed with gold dust. A rich cake that Jayce wanted to try. But when his mind drifted to her waist, imagining grabbing the white fabric of her dress and bunching it up to pull it up, to reveal her to him, the waist had changed.

There was no white dress anymore, the white now the vest of the academy’s uniform. The waist was slightly larger now but still ridiculously small for who it belonged to. 

Jayce hadn’t even paused with palming at his cock, which was hardening faster. 

Jerking off to Viktor had made him cum so hard he saw stars.

He’d laid in his bed, in the aftermath, panting heavily and feeling like the biggest asshole in the world.

He felt guilty. He shouldn’t have even been jerking off to the councilor let alone Viktor. These were two people he knew , arguably not that well, but it was clear their future’s would become intertwined after this night.

And they had.

He doesn’t think he’s left Viktor’s side for more than a couple hours over the span of the week. They both were night owls, though Jayce at least tried to get some semblance of sleep with naps on the lab's saggy couch. 

It was with sleep delirium that Jayce spent half an hour unsure if he was actually tracing Viktor’s face with his fingertips, or if he was hallucinating the entire time. Viktor never brought it up but Jayce could’ve sworn he’d felt the beginnings of stubble under his fingers; a warm cheek in his palm.

Jayce takes the towel around his neck and uses it to wipe some more sweat off his forehead. The towel is soaked in his hand and he grimaces.

Clothes bag. Shower. Something to eat. Stolen glimpses of Viktor at the chalkboard, his long fingers twirling the chalk in one hand while he leaned heavily on his cane.

Jayce pushed open the lab doors, slinging the towel on the table, wincing when it made a wet smack.

“Ah good thank you, I always thought our notes needed a biohazard intermingled with them,” Viktor says dryly, not even looking up from where he’s sitting, hunched over the lab table with notebooks strewn everywhere.

“It’s just sweat Vik,” Jayce says lightly, though he does go over and pick up the towel again, spinning in a half circle to figure out where to put it. He should’ve just left it at the forge. They had a basket for used towels there but Jayce had wanted it for the walk over.

Viktor lifts his head up and raises an eyebrow.

He looks Jayce up and down, sending a fire straight to Jayce’s groin and he has to think of naked Councilor Hoskel to stamp down anything stirring downstairs.

“Yes well, your sweat just got several pages wet,” Viktor says, licking his lips and looking at the papers that indeed have a wet splotch on them.

“Shit were they important?” Jayce asks, deciding to just drop the towel - he’ll deal with it later - and walks over to scoop the papers up.

Viktor waves a dismissive hand and sighs.

“No, no. Just more useless equations that make me question if I ever knew math in the first place.”

Jayce sets the papers down in a neat pile and rounds the table to stand behind Viktor. He doesn’t really think much of his actions as he puts both hands on Viktor’s shoulders and gives them a harsh squeeze.

Viktor tenses under his touch and lets out a slow breath.

“How long have you been working at it? Since I left for the forge?” Jayce asks, bending over Viktor so he can get a better view of what his partner is working on. The back of Viktor’s head is now pressing against Jayce’s chest but for once he’s not focusing on all the places their bodies are touching. He’s more focused on trying to remember when the last time he saw Viktor take a break was. The other scientist was always pushing himself to the brink and it was up to Jayce to reel him back.

Viktor seemed to forget he was only human.

“Yes,” Viktor says, his voice sounding oddly choked to Jayce’s ears and he gives Viktor’s shoulders another squeeze.

“You feeling ok V? You know if you work yourself too much you’ll get sick,” Jayce says, worry in his tone as he takes one of his hands off Viktor’s shoulder so he can put the back of it against Viktor’s forehead.

“You don’t feel that hot,” he mutters out loud and Viktor shudders against him.

Jayce is suddenly aware of how he’s looming over Viktor and he pulls away reluctantly, giving Viktor space.

“Right well, I’m going to quickly shower and get changed, in the mean-time think about what you want for dinner. We can order in.”

Jayce is half-way across the room by the end of his sentence, his heart beating fast and his ears starting to get hot with embarrassment. He locates his duffle bag under a chair and heads off to the decontamination showers. 

After the stabilization of the hextech, Viktor and Jayce had been given one of the larger labs in the academy. It was meant for practice labs with up to ten students so it was quite large and had its own decontamination suite. There had been some changes made since it was only two men working there instead of a class, but there were still a few showers and sinks for safety reasons. 

Jayce threw his duffle bag onto a bench and started stripping off his clothing, letting it all pile onto the bench next to the duffle.

“Jayce, do you think you could-” 

Jayce stops himself from turning around fully by just a hair and looks over his shoulder.

Viktor is standing in the doorway, his eyes widening in shock. 

“That was fast,” he murmurs, his eyes staying level with Jayce’s upper back

Jayce feels the heat from his ears traveling down to his cheeks. He coughs, awkwardly, wanting to shield himself. Another part of him wants to present himself to Viktor instead. He knows he’s good looking, he’s not arrogant but he’s not stupid either. But he’s not just going to flash Viktor just because the other scientist is eyeing him like he’s something to eat-

Wait.

Viktor is leaning against the doorway now, his eyes at half-mast, his bottom lip between his teeth. He’s looking up at Jayce through long eyelashes, a soft blush to his cheeks.

“Do you think I could what?” Jayce asks, his voice hoarse as he keeps his body tilted away from Viktor’s stare, his neck straining from how far he's looking over his shoulder.

Viktor holds up the fucking sweaty towel in his hand, his grip on it tight enough that Jayce can see the whites of his knuckles.

“There’s a laundry basket in here,” Viktor says, adjusting his stance against the doorway.

“Figured this was the best place for it,” he says, clearing his throat and tossing the towel at Jayce who whirls around to catch it, realizing his mistake at the last minute. He tries to shield himself but he over-corrects and his feet are sliding on the tiles. He lands on his stomach and a whoosh of air rushes out of him.

“Fuck, Jayce are you ok?” He hears Viktor ask and tentative steps of Viktor’s loafers hitting the tile.

“Never fucking better,” Jayce says into the floor, letting out a low groan and turning his head so his face isn’t smushed into the floor anymore.

“You were airborne,” Viktor teases, crouching down carefully by Jayce’s face.

“Just leave me here,” Jayce whines, his knee starting to ache from the fall.

He feels long fingers moving through his short hair and he squints up at Viktor. 

“We can do something eh, simple for dinner. The fish place outside the university?” Viktor asks and Jayce does his best to nod as he melts under Viktor’s touch.

“Go take a shower then, you reek,” Viktor’s nose twitches and he pushes off the floor. It’s clunky and there’s a wince on his face as he relies heavily on his crutch, but today has to be one of the better days that he even entertained the idea of squatting for less than a minute. Jayce waits until Viktor is officially gone before he heaves himself off the floor and glares at the offending sweaty towel. 

He picks it up and tosses it in the laundry hamper and stomps over to the showers. 

He doesn’t even wait for the shower to get lukewarm before he’s under it’s spray, wanting to wash away the embarrassment of that moment.

Viktor’s face flashes behind his eyelids and he rests his forehead against the tiled wall.

The way Viktor had been staring at him had been hungry. He had been looking at Jayce like he had wanted him.

Fuck, that couldn’t be right could it?

He hits his head softly against the tiles, trying to shake that image out of of his head but it’s unmistakable.

Jayce reaches blindly for the soap dispenser and gets a good handful before slathering it all over himself. 

He needs to think of something else, anything else. 

Viktor’s plush bottom lip with the imprint of his slightly crooked canine; eyelashes long and thick over doe shaped eyes, a warm chocolate color; bitable cheeks a pretty pink.

Jayce can’t help the groan that escapes his lips as he feels himself hardening. 

If Jayce had approached Viktor would the other man have stayed put? Would he have let Jayce push his naked body against him, pinning the slighter man against the doorway. Jayce’s hand moves down his stomach to his hardening cock. He gives it a rough stroke, shifting on his feet as the heat in his stomach pools lower and lower.

He growls in frustration and reaches for the shower knobs. He twists the cold all the way to the left and lets out a yelp as icy cold water blasts him directly in the face. It’s pleasant to his burning skin for a few seconds and then he’s dancing in place as he freezes his ass off.

Jayce finishes his shower, properly, with lukewarm water and washes his hair as well.

When he finally dries off and has his sweats on, Viktor’s already sitting on their lumpy couch, a take-out menu in his lap and a pencil tapping against his bottom lip.

“The fish place is closed, apparently there was a robbery and several people were killed,” Viktor says and Jayce stumbles to a stop.

“Oh my god, what? How have we not- oh very funny,” Jayce huffs, crossing his arms over his chest as Viktor lets out a chuckle.

“Relax Jayce, they just aren’t open on Tuesdays,” he says and pats the space on the sofa beside him.

Jayce flops onto it dramatically and lets his shoulder rest against Viktor’s.

“Your sense of humor is lacking,” he says and grabs the takeout menu out of Viktor’s hand.

“Sushi? Seriously Vik,” Jayce scoffs, eyeing the menu with distaste.

Cooked fish was bad enough but raw?

He could already sense the puppy dog eyes from a mile away so he stubbornly reads the item description for one of the foods.

Caviar, cream cheese, eel sauce -

“Please Jayce, you know how the upper city food makes my stomach upset,” Viktor pleads and Jayce rolls his eyes. 

“Yeah, that’s why you can plow through enough sweetcakes for a man twice your size,” he says and Viktor nudges his shoulder sharply.

“Jayce,” He whines, and it’s not sexual. It’s not , but Jayce has been finding it harder and harder to not lump his lab partner and carnal thoughts together. Especially after not getting off in the shower.

“Sure, ok,” he huffs and drops the menu in Viktor’s lap, getting off the couch so he can take a moment and breathe.

“They have other food options,” Viktor says, his voice laced with uncertainty. 

Jayce can hear him flipping through the pages of the menu, and Viktor starts to ramble.

“There see! They have noodles and rice, that spicy chicken dish you like. We don’t actually have to get anything from here if you don’t actually want to-”

“Viktor it’s fine,” Jayce says and goes back to sit next to Viktor.

“It doesn’t seem fine,” Viktor says softly and Jayce wants to smack himself in the face.

He’s pretty sure he’s the only one who can get Viktor to second guess himself. It’s not a power he likes to wield, it makes him feel guilty that Viktor seeks his approval.

“I had a long day,” Jayce says as an excuse and Viktor makes an ahh sound.

“Did you meet with councilor Medarda again?” Viktor asks and uses his pencil to start filling out his order. 

“Huh?”

Viktor puts a checkmark next to some salmon sushi before he speaks.

“She’s a very beautiful woman Jayce, it didn’t escape my notice how you looked at her,” he says.

But you’ve missed how I look at you every time, Jayce thinks.

“Viktor, come on,” he says and feels Viktor shrug against his shoulder.

They sit in silence as Viktor hands over the pencil and menu to Jayce. He flips to the back to the cooked food options that he can stomach. He knows sushi is the closest thing Piltover has to what Zaun eats but he doesn’t like fish. Raw especially makes his mouth pucker and he wants to gag it up. He’s eaten it before to humor Viktor but Viktor put a stop to that once he realized just how badly Jayce disliked the food. They only got fish or sushi when Viktor was really craving it, and the place had other foods Jayce could get.

He scratches haphazardly at the box next to the spicy teriyaki chicken and ponders over rice or noodles when Viktor speaks, breaking the silence.

“Do you find her beautiful?”

Jayce tenses and stares intensely at the menu.

“Do you?” he asks, tapping the rice and the noodle option, back and forth, hesitating on which one to go for.

“As much as anyone else,” Viktor says, his answer hesitant.

Jayce isn’t expecting that and he looks up from the menu finally to look at Viktor.

“So that’s a yes then?” Jayce asks and can’t help but let disappointment settle in his chest. Which is hypocritical of him seeing as he’s had dreams about Mel.

“Eh…” Viktor trails off and won’t meet Jayce’s eye which makes Jayce feel confused and almost a little hopeful. 

He decides to extend an olive branch, provoked by the earlier moment when Viktor had stared at his naked back.  

“She is really beautiful but she’s not who I’m interested in.”

And fuck that was too much. He doesn’t mean to word it like that and he prays Viktor doesn’t pick up on it but it’s Viktor.

Viktor cocks his head to the side, causing some of his hair to fall in his face and Jayce resists the urge to brush it back. To tuck it neatly behind Viktor’s ear.

“There’s someone you’re interested in now?” he asks, his voice low and rumbly. There’s a look in his eyes that Jayce can’t grasp and he feels a strange tension in the air.

“Um…maybe?” he says, his voice squeaking at the end.

“You haven’t said anything,” Viktor says and there’s a slight hardness in his tone that has Jayce wanting to sink to his knees.

He’s never seen Viktor like this before. 

He should probably be getting annoyed. They’ve known each other for a week, Jayce didn’t owe Viktor anything. If he was actually interested in anyone else it wasn’t like it was Viktor’s business, but Jayce liked this side of Viktor. It was almost like he was jealous.

Viktor’s leaning closer in his space now and Jayce leans back.

He’s aware of the couch digging into his back, of Viktor’s hand resting in between the space between their thighs, his long fingers almost touching Jayce. 

There’s a knock at the door and they both flinch and sit further apart.

“Come in!” Jayce calls, clearing his throat.

Sky stumbles in, a pile of folders in her arms.

“I’m so sorry about this but Heimerdinger wanted me to drop this off before I go home.” She waves the folders at them earnestly and Jayce gets up with a sigh.

Probably more legal shit they needed to sign. 

He takes the folders gently from her and rolls his eyes internally as he reads the first few lines of the top folder.

It is more legal papers. The council sends it to the older yordle and then Jayce and Viktor receive it. Godsforbid either of them actually be involved in the rules and regulations of their own research and invention/

“Um, it is getting late,” Sky says shyly and Jayce looks up at her but her gaze is focused on Viktor.

“Did you have any dinner plans?” she asks Viktor, her tone hopeful.

Jayce feels his blood freeze.

“Actually, he’s coming by my place for dinner,” the lie comes out smoothly and Sky’s eyes widen and she puts up a small smile but Jayce can see she’s disappointed.

“Oh ok, maybe next time?” she asks, and Viktor softly replies, “next time.”

That has her spirits up again and she leaves the room with a cheerful goodbye and that she’ll see them in the morning.

Jayce picks up the menu again and selects the noodles.

“I’ll go and give this to Callisto and they’ll pick-up the order for us-”

“What was that?” Viktor interrupts, his voice deceptively casual.

Jayce clenches the menu tighter in his hand.

“You getting hard of hearing V? I said I’ll go and give-”

“Don’t be obtuse Jayce,” Viktor snaps and he’s standing up now. The crutch stays tucked tightly under his arm as he walks the few steps to stand before Jayce. 

“You just lied to Sky.”

Jayce scratches the back of his neck nervously.

“You don’t want her to think that we live in the lab do you Vik? Like bats? Lab bats,” he chuckles at his own stupid joke but it dies down quickly as Viktor stares up at him.

“Jayce,” Viktor says, his voice low again and Jayce can’t take it.

“I’m going to give this to Callisto!” he says, his words rushed and walks calmly out of the room.

That’s a lie.

He speed-walks, attempting to appear casual but he hears Viktor call out after him and he all but sprints to get out of there. 

His clothes feel tight and he’s getting sweaty again, but he manages to calm down when he gets to Callisto.

They’re standing at their usual booth and accept the takeout menu and charge Jayce’s student account. They say the food will be ready in forty minutes and Jayce keeps a hysterical giggle from escaping.

Forty minutes, there’s no way I can avoid Viktor for that long, he thinks to himself. He lingers outside for the booth, long enough that Callisto is eyeing him weirdly, so he finally leaves and heads to the lab. He realizes he's left the pencil at the booth downstairs but he decides against wasting time to get it, he needs to just face the music.

When he lets himself in, Viktor is waiting.

He pushes Jayce against the doors as they shut with a click. 

Viktor isn’t the strongest, but he’s caught Jayce off guard. He keeps his hand spread flat against Jayce's chest and stares up at him defiantly. 

“Talk. Talis.” 

The words are clipped and harsh. 

“Viktor please,” he says and he doesn’t know what he’s pleading with Viktor not to do.

There’s a line they’re about to cross, Jayce can feel it. They have the potential to be great partners, no matter what kind, but Jayce has been too scared to take that step further. To solidify what direction and what type of partners they will be. 

He wants Viktor as a friend but he also wants him as so much more.

It’s probably insane given their short time together but Jayce is certain of this. He doesn’t half-ass things, he dives head first but he’s been hesitant because he hasn’t been able to get a good read on Viktor. They’re learning each other surprisingly fast but not fast enough for Jayce to know where Viktor stands.

Until today.

Until earlier when Jayce saw his own hunger reflected back at him in Viktor’s eyes. 

“Who are you interested in?” The hand presses harder against his chest and Viktor leans up slightly, making Jayce take some of his weight.

Jayce swallows hard.

“If it’s not Medarda is it…is it Sky?”

Viktor looks unsure now, no longer determined and confident. He blinks rapidly like he’s trying to gather his thoughts and then he’s wincing.

“Oh shit it is Sky isn’t it, Jayce I’m sorry-”

Jayce doesn’t let him finish. He presses his lips harshly against Viktor’s. He wants to be gentle but he misjudges how close they are and his own eagerness.

He knows where Viktor is getting the idea from, he thinks because Jayce lied it was to stop Sky from having dinner with Viktor because Jayce wants Sky. But it’s the opposite. Jayce wants Viktor.

He will always want Viktor.

It seems to click in Viktor’s mind as he lets out a soft moan and he starts kissing Jayce back. 

His lips are slightly chapped and have grooves where he’s bitten the skin off, but there’s soft patches too and the juxtaposition is driving Jayce wild.

He breathes in heavily through his nose, stubbornly not wanting to take his lips off of Viktor’s now that he has him like this.

The hand on Jayce’s chest closes around the fabric of his sweatshirt, holding on for dear life it seems. He hears the distinct ting of the metal crutch hitting the floor and then Viktor’s body weight is leaning fully on him, his other arm snaking up to cup the back of Jayce’s head, a pillow between the door and Jayce’s head. 

Jayce holds Viktor around his waist to support him, one hand staying firmly locked around the man while the other dips down to rest partially on Viktor’s ass.

Jayce licks at Viktor’s lips, pleadingly.

Viktor moans again, pressing closer and opens his mouth.

He tastes sweet and bitter. Like black tea and honey, coffee and cream. Jayce doesn’t know if it’s just his taste or whether there’s a mug of sweetmilk lying around somewhere but he doesn’t care. He wants more, no, needs more. 

He let’s his tongue take over. It’s like he’s a desperate man searching for a drop of water in the middle of the desert. His tongue nudges at Viktor’s, wanting a response. When Viktor hesitantly greets Jayce’s tongue with his own Jayce let’s out a low moan. He suckles at Viktor’s tongue until they both pull apart. 

They’re panting heavily, their chests raising and falling together.

Viktor has drool in the corner of his mouth. Without thinking, Jayce leans in and laps it up.

Viktor lets out a whine and Jayce feels heat rush straight to his dick. 

“Not…Sky then,” Viktor huffs out, letting his hands move to Jayce’s shoulders.

“Not Sky. Only you,” Jayce says and Viktor smiles so wide that Jayce feels like he’s staring at the sun. 

He leans forward and nips lightly at the mole above Viktor’s lip just because he can .

Viktor let’s out a disbelieving laugh that’s mixed with amusement.

“How long have you been waiting to do that?” he practically purrs, his slender hand coming up to cradle Jayce’s cheek. 

Jayce shyly looks away and Viktor adjusts his hold so he can grab part of Jayce’s chin and make him look back at Viktor.

“I’ve seen you looking at me, hard not to with all the time we’ve spent together. You’re not subtle Mr. Talis,” Viktor says, pulling Jayce in for another kiss.

So he has noticed, Jayce thinks, feeling giddy. 

This one is slower, more dragged out, but it doesn’t lack any of the heat or passion of their earlier kiss. Jayce tightens his grip around Viktor and starts to walk them back towards where the couch is.

“How could I not look at you,” Jayce mumbles against Viktor’s lips.

It’s a little awkward with Jayce having to support most of Viktor’s weight and he’s not exactly paying attention to where he’s walking, he’s just aiming for the general idea of where he thinks the couch is.

Viktor let’s out an oomph as they walk straight into a table. 

“Maybe open your eyes puppy,” Viktor says and gently taps Jayce’s cheek. Jayce sheepishly blinks them open and carefully walks them over to the couch.

He lays Viktor down, making sure his bad leg is stretched out on the couch. He kneels in between Viktor’s legs and Viktor’s good leg hooks around his waist as he settles down over Viktor. He uses one elbow and forearm to prop himself up, his hand by Viktor’s head, as the other hand wraps around Viktor’s arm.

“Good boy,” Viktor whispers, pushing up his pelvis to meet Jayce’s.

Jayce whines, hiding his face in Viktor’s neck as the slender man wraps an arm around Jayce’s back to bring their bodies closer together. 

“See how you make me feel Jayce? Feel how hard I am?” Viktor says harshly into his ear as he thrusts up again.

Jayce nods fast, attaching his lips to Viktor’s exposed neck. 

Viktor shudders under him and tilts his head up so more of his neck is available for Jayce.

Jayce is greedy now that he can touch Viktor. He sucks and licks, trying to leave as many marks as possible. He discovers another mole, one hidden usually by Viktor’s high collars and cravat. He’s not wearing a cravat today and his top button is undone so Jayce has easy access. He nips at the mole, giving it the same treatment as the one on his partner's cheek.

“Gotta get this off of you,” he mutters, slipping the hand not supporting him down between their bodies so he can untuck Viktor’s shirt out of his pants.

“Impatient,” Viktor says with amusement, turning his head to kiss Jayce’s knuckles.

“You have to remove my vest first,” he says and raises an eyebrow when Jayce pauses his frustrated searching for skin under Viktor’s white button-up.

“Um, right,” he says and shakily pulls away from Viktor, sitting back on his heels. He doesn’t want to be away from Viktor for too long but he needs their clothes off faster. He starts unbuttoning Viktor’s vest and sneaks glances up at the shorter man.

Viktor is looking up at him, his mouth slightly parted and his cheeks flushed. His hair spreads out against the arm of the couch and some shorter strands have fallen forward, just shy of covering his eyes.

Jayce reaches up and brushes them away, letting out a sigh when Viktor hums contently and nuzzles into Jayce’s touch. 

“Look at you,” Jayce whispers and Viktor’s eyes flash in the dim lighting of the lab.

“You can do more than that,” Viktor says earnestly.

He tilts his head up and takes Jayce’s thumb into his mouth.

Jayce blanks out, his other hand clenching down on Viktor’s vest as he watches Viktor start to suck on his thumb.

Viktor’s mouth is a furnace, his tongue soft and silky, catching on the rough pad of Jayce’s thumb. 

Jayce is pretty sure all his blood has gone to his dick as he watches Viktor’s cheeks hollow out, his eyes fluttering, and he starts to feel light-headed.

Viktor pulls off with a pop , looking utterly blissed out. 

“Hurry up,” he commands. It’s soft but definitely an order and Jayce goes back to the last two vest buttons. He helps Viktor wiggle out of the vest and then practically rips Viktor out of his button-up, his patience running thin. 

He’s covered in moles.

Jayce really needs to figure out what his obsession is with the man's moles but he’ll deal with that later. He takes off his own sweatshirt and preens at how Viktor looks at him. It seems like Viktor can’t settle on where to look for long, his eyes bouncing from Jayce’s pecs, to his arms, to his stomach.

There he feels a little self-conscious and struggles to not cover himself.

He’s fairly muscled, his years in the forge making his body chiseled but he’s always had a layer of soft fat that doesn’t seem to go away. No one’s ever complained about his stomach before and it’s not like he’s fat, but the v of his hips are not flat and he is able to pinch his stomach and hold some of it in his fingers.

Viktor on the other hand is slender and lithe. His arms have some muscle built up from having to support himself and he’s not underweight but Jayce can see the shape of his ribs. He shifts under Jayce’s gaze and Jayce tracks the movements of his muscles, the flex of his stomach and the soft shudder that wracks his body.

“Are you just going to stare at me all day?” Viktor asks. He’s not looking at Jayce now, instead looking at the back of the couch where his fingers are twisting and pulling at a string that’s come undone from the backing.

He sounds defensive and Jayce hurries to remedy the doubt that seems to have crept up between them.

“I can’t help it V. I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you, and now you’re here and your m-mine.”

He can’t help but stutter over his words because is Viktor really his? Could Viktor possibly crave him as much as Jayce wants him to? Call him a helpless romantic but when he’s pictured himself in a relationship he wants it all; he wants to walk down the streets with Viktor’s hand in his. He wants to argue about how hot or cold they need to keep their bedroom. He wants to bring him over to Caitlyn’s and have a family dinner, he wants Viktor to meet his mother and have her fuss over him. He wants to know every crack and crevice in Viktor’s body and his mind. He wants to be known too. He wants the knowing looks they’re already sharing to blossom fully. Viktor already knows his coffee order and he’s already cataloged every micro expression Viktor has when he’s irritated or annoyed.

Something must show on his face because Viktor’s face softens and he sits up, unraveling his leg from around Jayce. 

He pushes at Jayce until he has him sitting how he wants and then he sits down on his lap.

Jayce tries to protest but Viktor waves him off.

“If my leg starts bothering me I’ll let you know,” he says firmly and cups Jayce’s cheeks in his slender hands.

“We should talk about this, what this means for us,” he says, removing one hand so he can motion between them and then puts it back.

Jayce swallows, his head a little foggy with how their dicks are pressed against each other even closer than before. Viktor seems to sense this and moves his hips back a little but not too far because Jayce’s hands quickly grab onto his hips to keep him there.

It’s torture but he knows he’ll lose his mind even more if Viktor moves too far away.

“I think I’ve done most of the talking so far,” Jayce says, squeezing Viktor’s hips.

Viktor sighs and drops his hands from Jayce’s cheeks. They fall into their laps and Viktor starts playing with the strings of Jayce’s sweatpants, keeping a careful distance from Jayce’s straining cock.

His knuckles keep brushing against Jayce’s stomach though and he’s having a hard time concentrating.

“Vitya, ” he pleads, the name falling out from his lips and Viktor inhales harshly.

“I will not be some…notch on a bedpost yes? I believe that’s the saying,” Viktor says, his nose scrunching in distaste and Jayce remembers how thrilled Viktor had been when he’d learned about ‘crank it’. He thinks about those other students and the lockers he’s punched, overhearing how they talk about his partner, like he’s an object and not a person.

“I don’t believe you’re like that, you don’t think of me as some fetish, some new thing to fuck and add to a tally of life experiences,” Viktor snarls out and Jayce knows the anger isn’t directed towards him, it’s towards the whispers he must’ve heard ever since he stepped foot into the academy.

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t still fall into a one night stand category,” he says, and Jayce squeezes his hips encouragingly when it looks like he’s not done speaking but he’s been silent for a minute.

“If we do this, we can’t pretend this never happened. I can’t pretend.” Viktor stresses, his hands moving from the strings to rest firmly against Jayce’s stomach. He jolts at the coolness meeting his heated flesh and Viktor waits, the question unspoken but hanging in the air.

But it’s not even a question because now that Jayce has him, he’s never letting go.

Even if one day Viktor turns into some mad scientist or decides to start wearing dresses, Jayce would follow him into eternity.

His mind halts on the image of Viktor in a dress, one of the clingy ones that councilor Medarda wears that show off her legs…

Viktor clears his throat and Jayce comes back to reality, realizing his nails are digging into Viktor’s hips.

“That’s a lot of thinking going on in that pretty head of yours Jayce,” Viktor says, pointedly looking at Jayce’s hands on his hips. 

He eases his grip, apologizing.

“I can be intense,” he starts out and Viktor gives him a ‘yeah-duh’ look and he scrambles to get the rest of the words out. “When I like someone I give them my all. My mom says I wear my heart on my sleeve, so all this that we’re doing together, it’s because I want all of you Viktor, and I want you to have all of me .”” Viktor looks at him like a deer in headlights, like he’s stunned by the possibility.

That Jayce could want him so badly that it hurts.

“I’m obsessed with you V. You say you’ve seen me watching you in the lab yet you look surprised,” Jayce says gently and Viktor leans forward, digging his hands into Jayce’s stomach. He looks like a bird, studying its prey. He’s got a calculated look on his face like he’s analyzing Jayce.

Jayce can’t resist and leans up to meet him, licking at his nose. 

Viktor sputters as Jayce’s tongue traces over the curves of his aquiline nose.

“You really are like a fucking puppy,” Viktor says, swatting Jayce’s face away so he can rub the saliva off his nose.

Jayce sits back feeling proud of himself. That’s two fantasies he’s completed in the short amount of time they’ve been together. Which reminds him, the food.

“We have about twenty more minutes,” he says, looking at the clock on the wall behind Viktor, bouncing his knee so Viktor will pay attention to him again. Viktor slides down so their crotches are pressed against each other again, as Jayce’s leg dislodges him from where he was sitting. Jayce drums his fingers against Viktor’s hips and looks at him adoringly.

“I want our first time to be in bed,” he says shyly and Viktor’s smile is perfect. Crooked and small but still one of the best things Jayce has seen. Second only to the Arcane.

“I’m sure there are other…activities we can familiarize ourselves with,” Viktor says cheekily, the heel of his palm moving from his stomach to his cock, Viktor’s touch sending a bolt of pleasure through Jayce.

“Yeah. Definitely,” he pants out and surges forward to kiss Viktor again.

Jayce finds himself losing himself in the kiss again, the world around them turning sluggish. He tries to keep his touch light but Viktor protests at every turn, shoving his lips harder against Jayce’s, grabbing Jayce’s larger hands and pressing them into his waist.

Jayce knows Viktor’s not a doll and would hate to be treated as such, but Jayce can’t help it. 

Viktor huffs in frustration, momentarily breaking their kiss when Jayce once again meets Viktor’s thrust but with a subdued passion. It’s taking everything in him not to just toss Viktor over one shoulder and have him against one of the lab tables or the workbench. 

“Jayce,” Viktor says quietly, a warning in his tone. 

Jayce can sense where this is going and he sighs and wraps his hand around the entire circumference of Viktor’s wrist.

“I know I won’t break you V but don’t you want me to be gentle?” he asks. Maybe it’s only because he’s been with girls before and there were certain expectations with how rough he could be. He liked it too, being gentle with them and getting to cradle them and draw low moans from their throats. The pressure just shy of too hard only when he started rubbing circles into their heat.

But maybe it needed to be different with Viktor.

“How about you tell me what to do,” he says eagerly, before Viktor can say anything.

Viktor looks at him, considering what he’s said.

“You want me…in control.” He says it as a statement and not a question but Jayce nods.

“Sex is a learning curve and I’ve always been a fast learner,” Jayce teases, flushing when he sees how interested Viktor looks now.

“We can work with that,” Viktor says softly and then starts to get up, pulling a whine from Jayce.

“Ah-ah-ah,” He tuts, shaking a finger at Jayce. 

“If I’m in control of this then we’re putting me fully in control. If you don’t like something, tap my arm three times, or if you’re able to speak then say…” Viktor trails off looking at Jayce expectantly.

Jayce’s head is already in the clouds at the implications of what Viktor is suggesting. His partner seems more confident now, like he’s slipping into a role Jayce only really sees when he’s deep in the throes of his work. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth as he looks up at Viktor.

“A safe word Jayce,” Viktor prods gently.

“Um right…” Jayce says as his mind rushes a mile a minute.

Fuck he needs a safe word? Ok something cool, something not embarrassing

“Sushi,” he says and then stares at his hands in abject horror.

Sushi is what he’s going with?!

“At least it’s not your own name,” Viktor smirks, standing in between Jayce’s spread legs and tilting his chin up with a finger. “That’d be even more egotistical than signing every page in your notebook.”

Jayce huffs, willing the urge to stomp his foot, like a child, to go away. 

“It was just one notebook,” he pouts.

Viktor raises an eyebrow.

“Ok a few of them and really it’s smart ok. Especially after we’ve created the hextech together I mean, anyone could have found my notes and done who knows what with them,” he says defensively.

“Of course baby,” Viktor says, brushing his hand through Jayce’s hair.

There’s a curl of something in Jayce’s stomach as he realizes there’s no mocking in Viktor’s tone. It’s not sarcastic or teasing, he’s just being comforting.

“Right well…what do you want me to do?” he asks, his throat feeling thick like he’s about to cry.

“You want to be such a good boy for me don’t you,” Viktor says, the hand leaving Jayce’s hair to cradle his jaw.

“Yes,” Jayce breathes out, surprised he isn’t stammering.

“You always make sure I’m taken care of, what’s one more chance for you to do the same here hmm? Do you want to make me feel good Jayce?”

Jayce nods and there’s now a finger prodding at his lower lip. He opens his mouth to let the finger in but it barely goes in, staying teasingly just out of reach, barely pressing against his teeth.

“Take off your pants,” Viktor says and steps away, giving Jayce more than enough space.

He hurriedly unties the strings to his sweatpants before realizing he needs to take his boots off. He toes them off with haste and shimmies the pants down, cantering his hips upward with a grunt so they’ll slide off faster. He leans over to pull off his socks and then sits there in just his underwear. His fingers rest on the waistband but Viktor makes a soft noise and Jayce looks up.

“Stand up.”

Jayce does so, trying not to seem too eager. He’s aware of how hard his cock is straining in his briefs, leaving not much to the imagination. 

Viktor steps up to him and trails a finger over his clothed cock. He inhales sharply and tries not to buck under Viktor’s wandering fingertips.

“Look how hard you are already,” Viktor says, the palm of his hand working gently against Jayce’s cock. He can feel it getting heavier, the ache getting stronger. If Viktor keeps this up Jayce fears he’s going to cum in his underwear like he’s a teenager all over again. He tries to see how hard Viktor is but Viktor’s pants are a darker brown than his and he can’t really discern the shape really well. 

“Can I touch you?” Jayce asks and Viktor shakes his head.

“Not yet,” he says completely composed and Jayce wonders how he can be so calm right now while Jayce is short-circuiting like faulty wiring. The hand on his cock slides upwards to the waistband of his briefs and Viktor slowly pulls them down, revealing red and angry lines where the waistband has dug into his skin.

Viktor hisses in sympathy, rubbing at the sore spots with such tenderness the urge to cry is back again.

“I’m getting you a new pair,” he says though it sounds more like he’s talking to himself out loud rather than to Jayce. 

He motions for Jayce to pull his underwear down the rest of the way and he wastes no time doing so.

He’s now completely bare in front of his Viktor.

It’s oddly thrilling to be looked at like this. Normally he’s the one undressing the women in front of him, taking time to delicately undo their corsets and peel away their lacey underwear. But now he’s the one undressed and standing before Viktor. He puffs up his chest, can’t help but pose a little.

Viktor smiles, noticing what he’s doing and exhales softly.

“My man of progress,” he says softly. 

Jayce’s dick twitches a little and he groans, which makes Viktor take that final step to press himself against Jayce.

Jayce’s hands move of their own accord, trying to grab the fabric of Viktor’s pants so he can pull them off, but Viktor shakes his head softly and grabs both of Jayce’s wrists in each hand.

Jayce knows he can change their positions easily. Even if Viktor tried to put force on his grip, years of the forge and Jayce’s own size would easily overpower Viktor. But Jayce lets him maneuver his arms so they hang at his side. Their chests rise and fall together and Viktor releases Jayce’s arms, giving an unspoken command for Jayce not to move.

He moves his hands slowly across Jayce’s torso. His fingers slide over collarbones and flex over Jayce’s pecs. He’s like a canvas, Viktor’s fingers the paintbrush. Viktor takes his time, learning every curve and dip of Jayce’s exposed chest. His fingers linger in space between Jayce’s chest and stomach, his diaphragm, and then his left hand lays flat there while the right continues its tortuous path. His body shivers and Viktor’s left hand drifts down to Jayce’s stomach.

Jayce feels self-conscious again with the attention Viktor is focusing on his stomach. His cock is leaking precum, looking red and eager for Viktor to pay it attention where it curves up, but Viktor pays it no mind. 

The right hand joins its partner on Jayce’s stomach and Viktor gives Jayce’s stomach a soft squeeze and Jayce lets out a squeak.

“Viktor,” he admonishes, but Viktor pays no heed to his harsher tone, leaning up to nip his lower lip.

“I plan to worship all of you Jayce, that’s what will please me I’ve decided,” he says, his breath hot against Jayce’s mouth.

“And for me to do that I need to appreciate all of you, will you let me do that? You want to be good for me don’t you?” he says hotly and starts kissing Jayce in earnest. 

A whine, high-pitched and needy is pulled out of Jayce’s chest and escapes his mouth without thought. He didn’t think he could make those sounds.

Viktor’s cool skin is starting to get warmer, but nothing can match the burning Jayce is feeling from within. 

He’s being led back to the couch, the back of his calves hitting the low couch making him stumble. He lands on his ass and he takes a minute to catch his breath as Viktor stands above him. 

The lab lighting doesn’t do him justice but he’s still gorgeous. His hair frames his red face, his upper body getting a light flush as well. There’s a mark on his neck from where Jayce had sucked and he’s pleased with himself. He wants to mark Viktor more.

“Hand me that pillow,” Viktor commands, pointing to a square plush purple one. Jayce hastily grabs it and offers it up.

Viktor puts it down at Jayce’s feet and carefully kneels on it.

Jayce has a brief moment to wonder where Viktor’s crutch is, in case he needs it anytime soon, but then Viktor’s hands are on his ankles and slowly trailing upwards in deep caress and he loses his senses again.

Viktor doesn’t so much dig into his legs as almost caress them with a reverence Jayce never would’ve expected.

Jayce can’t really see his face but he can for sure feel him, his nose dragging along Jayce’s calf, his mouth leaving the barest of kisses; butterfly kisses. His thumbs rub mirroring circles on Jayce’s ankle bones between each kiss. His hair is all Jayce can see until he starts to move upwards.

“Such a pretty boy, my Jayce,” Viktor purrs, his accent sounding thicker to Jayce’s ears. When he reaches Jayce’s knees he gives them two soft kisses on each one. He taps the inside of Jayce’s left knee and Jayce hesitates before lifting it. Viktor presses in closer, moving Jayce’s left leg up further so it hooks over his shoulder. He starts leaving open mouthed kisses against the soft skin of Jayce’s inner thigh. Starting at the top of the thigh and working his way up.

Jayce feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest. He’s starting to pant again, groaning with each gentle lick Viktor administers to his inner thigh. Viktor squeezes his right knee, the fingers actually digging in this time as he bites down on Jayce’s inner thigh.

Jayce lets out a yelp and shudders. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands, he wants them on Viktor so badly. They are basically one with the couch cushions with how hard he’s clenching them, gripping them like a lifeline as Viktor licks at the bite, soothing it.

He taps the right inner knee and Jayce raises an eyebrow.

“Are you sure?” he pants out and Viktor looks up at him with dark brown eyes, the pupils almost taking up the entire irises.

“Move Jayce,” he says and as soon as Jayce has his other leg over his shoulder he moves swiftly, attaching his lips and giving the right inner thigh the same treatment as the left. His hands hold onto the outer sides of Jayce’s thighs, keeping them spread open to his liking.

It could’ve been hours, or it could have been minutes, but Jayce loses track of time until he is brought back to awareness by Viktor nuzzling his nose deep into the space where his pelvis and leg connect. He was right there, but he expertly avoids touching Jayce’s cock, only his hair brushing against the underside making Jayce tremble and grab the cushions harder. 

“Please,” he whimpers, not knowing what he’s asking for.

Viktor huffs and gently kisses the spot before leaning up more so he can rest his chin on Jayce’s stomach.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” Viktor whispers, his gaze adoring.

Jayce bites his lip and Viktor watches the motion with an intensity that has Jayce almost cumming on the spot.

Viktor trades bites and kisses across the supple flesh of Jayce’s stomach, paying the most attention to the rolls that have formed because of how Jayce is sitting. His nose dips into every crevice.

He pauses his ministrations, flinching and trying to hide it by resuming his kisses but Jayce never misses any of Viktor’s motions, he’s attuned to them. He could also feel the flex of Viktor’s hands on his thighs.

“What’s wrong? Your leg?” he asks, licking his dry lips.

He’s guessed right judging by how irritated Viktor looks.

“It seems I cannot be granted this simple pleasure with my…imperfection reminding me of itself,” he hisses out, wincing and letting go of Jayce’s thigh so he can massage his own leg.

“ Vitya ,” Jayce says, carefully bringing his legs down. Viktor's attention snaps to him but he looks defeated. 

“I’m sorry,” he says bitterly and Jayce releases his hold on the cushions, flexing his fingers. It hurts from how long they’ve been curled up and the strength at which they were holding on to the cushions, but he pushes that pain aside. He reaches out for Viktor, resting one hand on his shoulder and the other goes to cradle Viktor’s cheek.

“It’s not an imperfection,” he says harshly, stroking the sharp line of Viktor’s cheekbone with his thumb.

“You have no imperfections in my eyes Viktor.”

Viktor leans in to his touch, turning his face to press a fleeting kiss to Jayce’s palm.

“I wish I had your confidence,” he says and uses Jayce’s knees to push himself up. 

He stands there for a moment seemingly lost in thought. Jayce is about to call to him when hungry eyes find him and he’s at a loss for words.

“Jayce, you trust me, yes?” Viktor asks and Jayce nods eagerly.

“With everything.”

There’s that flash of surprise on Viktor’s face and then it’s gone.

“Scooch over then,” he says, flapping his hands at Jayce until Jayce makes room on the couch.

Viktor hobbles over a few steps closer to the couch and sits down carefully. He quickly removes his shoes and socks and unbuttons his pants. With a grimace he gets them off.

Jayce can see more moles trailing down the expanse of Viktor’s legs. His bad leg looks a little thinner than his good one but there’s nothing else to distinguish the two. 

He takes off his underwear too.

Jayce has never found a cock nice to look at. Not that he makes a regular habit of looking at any besides his own, but when he was younger he did some exploration of himself. He may have only had experience with girls, but he had magazines still stashed under his bed of naked men.

Caitlyn had been the one to get it for him, though she never revealed her source. It was in their late teens that Caitlyn had confessed to him that she didn’t like men, after another awful male suitor her parents had arranged for her to meet.

Jayce had never really put much thought into his own sexuality. He liked girls, had slept with some already by that time, and no man had ever turned his head but he took it anyways. For science was his excuse.

It lay untouched for a long while, before Jayce casually decided to browse it. He could see some attractiveness in some of the naked males but nothing really gripped his attention until one particular slender male. Jayce still remembered the photo, the man draped suggestively over a chaise lounge, his skin dark and glistening, his cock in one hand while the other tugged at his collared shirt - the only thing he was wearing.

That was the first time Jayce jacked off to a man.

After that discovery, he still leaned more towards women, but every now and then he’d try to capture a guy's attention but he always failed miserably.

Caitlyn said it’s because he exudes a straight aura, whatever that means.

But it’s never been a man’s cock that has drawn him to a man, and he never really understood the allure with some of the girls he slept with, their mouths eager to taste him, but now.

Well now he had an inclination of what it was all about.

Viktor’s cock looked beautiful to him, the urge to touch and taste growing stronger the longer he looked. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the elegant curve, the color, the precum that leaks from Viktor’s tip and drips down the base as Viktor lays himself down on the couch, oblivious to Jayce’s stare. 

“Alright Jayce, I need you to sit on my chest,” Viktor says and Jayce coughs.

“Um..you want me to…huh?” he asks and looks at Viktor in disbelief.

“Sit on my chest. This is the most comfortable position for me right now I’m afraid, so I’ll need you over here so I can suck your dick,” he says, patting his chest like an owner calling their dog to them.

“I’m not sitting on your chest ,” Jayce hisses, and Viktor has the audacity to roll his eyes.

“You said you trusted me, yes?”

“Well of course but-”

“Then why aren’t you trusting me to know my limits? We’re running out of time Talis,” Viktor says, jerking his head in the direction of the clock and Jayce gives up.

“Fine, fine, but if my big ass crushes you it’s your fault,” he grumbles. He slowly crawls on all fours, hovering over Viktor and hesitating for a second before he sits back, his knees on either side of Viktor’s chest. He doesn’t lower down though, his nerves getting the best of him.

Viktor’s hands snake around and grab Jayce’s ass, giving both of his cheeks a firm caress.

“Your ass is rather nice,” Viktor says, giving one a squeeze.

“I’m not going to break,” Viktor says after Jayce still hasn’t sat down.

“I’m just, uhh, getting more comfortable,” Jayce lies, making a show of shifting on his knees, thankful that even though the couch is relatively old and shitty, it's quite wide and soft. There’s no added stress to Viktor’s back and they’re not at threat of falling off.

“ Sit ,” Viktor barks out, not believing his bullshit.

Jayce sits. 

Viktor lets out an oomph and Jayce immediately tries to get back up but Viktor holds him by the ass, his nails digging in.

“See I told you,” Jayce complains, feeling guilty as Viktor looks up at him with a slightly pained expression. He manages to get off of Viktor, hovering once more.

“That’s because you just dropped on me, you overeager puppy.” 

Jayce flushes. 

“Now, slowly, sit down,” Viktor says patiently, guiding Jayce with his hands.

Jayce’s cock is hovering right by Viktor’s lips and he swears he can feel Viktor’s heart pounding under his ass.

“Look at this, all just for me,” Viktor says, his breath hitting Jayce’s cock, making it harder than he thought possible.

“ Vitya, please,” Jayce pleads, starting to get fed up. 

“Say that again,” Viktor demands and Jayce is helpless to comply.

“Vitya, please for the love of everything, suck my fucking cock right now or-” his words are choked off by Viktor almost inhaling him into his mouth.

His lips pull off before Jayce can even register what’s happened.

“Whose in charge here Jayce?” Viktor says, his dark eyes demanding under his long lashes.

“You are,” Jayce whines and presses his finger against the mole under Viktor’s eyes.

“And whose setting the pace?” Viktor asks, allowing Jayce to trace around his mole.

“You,” Jayce says breathlessly.

“Remember that Jayce. I know you’d look so pretty begging for me, but that’s for later, so don’t give me a reason to make you beg sooner,” Viktor warns before his mouth is engulfing Jayce’s cock again.

Viktor’s mouth is hot . It’s just like when his thumb was inside Viktor’s mouth but his cock is more sensitive and the sensations all feel new. It’s velvety soft in there and Viktor’s tongue is exploring with tentative licks and prods. He’s careful off his teeth, barely grazing them as he takes Jayce in deeper.

The heat in Jayce’s stomach starts coiling and more precum comes out. He knows he’s not going to last long like this. It’s embarrassing and he tries to warn Viktor but he doesn’t know if he should use the safe word or just tell Viktor to release him.

Viktor does something with his mouth, a mixture of tongue and teeth that has Jayce hearing the blood rushing in his ears. He moans out some gibberish words, managing to get out a ‘I’m close’ and ‘I’m going to cum’.

This seems to encourage Viktor and he doesn’t pull off, instead he’s sucking with abandon, his cheeks hollowing more and Jayce can’t hold it in. Not with Viktor sucking him off like he’s the sweetest treat in all of Piltover.

He cums with a shout, the world going black and filled with stars as he cums into Viktor’s mouth, only vaguely aware of Viktor’s hands clamping onto his sides, his fingers sinking into the fat of his love handles.

“Fuck,” he shudders and watches through half-lidded eyes as Viktor pulls off of his cock, giving the tip a gentle kiss.

“You did so good for me Jayce, you were wonderful,” Viktor purrs.

Jayce slides off of Viktor and nudges the other scientist until he’s trapped between the couch and Jayce.

“What about you?” Jayce asks, trailing a finger up and down Viktor’s side and ribs.

He looks down between them and is shocked to see Viktor is flacid.

“I came with you,” Viktor says, looking at Jayce smugley. 

Jayce kisses him desperately, not minding the taste of his seed mingling with the taste of Viktor.

He wants to lay here forever, his face pressed against Viktor’s cheek, his body draped over the slender man, but there’s a throat clearing and Viktor nudges him gently with his shoulder.

“The food will be here shortly,” he says and Jayce sighs heavily.

“I forgot about that,” he confesses and Viktor laughs.

He feels Viktor’s laugh reverberate through his whole body and he smiles, brushing sweaty hair off of Viktor’s forehead and gives a kiss to each of the moles on Viktor’s face.

“We still have time to clean ourselves in the bathroom,” Viktor says and Jayce reluctantly rolls away and hops off the couch. Viktor barely has time to sit up before Jayce is scooping him up in his arms, holding him bridal style.

“Jayce,” Viktor scolds.

“You took care of me, let me take care of you. Didn't you say that's what I like to do?” Jayce asks, easily carrying him and navigating around the lab to the showers.

He sets Viktor down gently onto a bench and grabs a clean towel, soaking it in the sink before taking the time to gently wipe away any of Viktor’s cum from Viktor’s body. He wipes himself off with a new towel as well, feeling sticky from the sweat their coupling had produced. 

“Are you going to carry me back?” Viktor asks, not seriously, as Jayce throws their towels in the hamper.

Jayce raises an eyebrow and easily has an armful of a spluttering Viktor in his arms again. 

“You are being ridiculous!”

Viktor’s face is a stunning shade of pink and Jayce kisses him, savoring the feeling of his lips before bringing them back into the main room.

He lets Viktor down so they can get dressed, sneaking glances at each other.

There’s a knock on the door just as Jayce smooths down his hair and Viktor goes over to the door, crutch secured under his arm once more.

Callisto is at the door as Viktor swings it open. They eye the scientists with disinterest and hand over the large bag of food. Viktor thanks them and closes the door with his shoulder.

“Great timing, I’m starving,” Jayce says and walks over to Viktor to take the bag from him.

“We have to fill you up with something for now until I can later,” Viktor says, patting Jayce’s stomach and walking around him in the direction of their mini fridge.

Jayce is frozen in place, his mind processing what Viktor just said and he almost drops their food.

His cock gives a twitch of interest, images of Viktor fucking into him long and slow fill his head and he can't help the sound that slips from his mouth.

“Jayce,” Viktor says warningly, looking over his shoulder as he stoops to dig in the fridge for drinks. “Food first, the rest later. ”

Later, there’s going to be a later, Jayce’s mind does a dance of happiness and he rushes over to start spreading the food on the table.

There’s plenty of sushi for Viktor to focus on and Jayce catches himself staring at Viktor’s lips as he slurps up some sashimi. He hurriedly shovels the chicken into his mouth. Normally he’d like to savor the food, talk to Viktor about their lab work or some gossip he’s heard, but he’s impatient. The promise of what Viktor is going to do to him is exhilarating.

“Relax puppy,” Viktor reaches across the lab table to squeeze Jayce’s forearm.

“I’m not going anywhere.” 

Jayce flushes and chews his food a little bit slower.

Viktor starts talking about the Kiramman gardens, expressing curiosity in what grew there. The conversation morphs into Jayce telling Viktor about the misadventures Caitlyn and he shared. He talks about how at twelve they had been racing each other. They’d been too close to the ponds and Caitlyn had elbowed him, trying to get him to slow down. The momentum had sent Jayce flying and he’d grabbed onto her by instinct, taking her down with him. They had both fallen in, getting soaked instantly. 

Viktor laughed with his whole body, tilting his head back and his shoulders shaking.

Jayce doesn’t think it’s that funny, but he loves watching Viktor laugh. He rests his elbow on the table and props his chin in his hand, content to watch Viktor. 

Viktor shares his own stories of growing up in the undercity in return. 

“I’d have liked to have seen the boat you made,” Jayce says and Viktor looks at him surprised.

“It wasn’t anything special,” he says shyly.

And there’s that uncertainty in Viktor again that Jayce wishes would go away. He’s usually so confident. He’s professor Heimerdinger’s assistant afterall, that’s not a position the yordle just gives out on a whim, but something like designing a mechanical boat as a toy in his childhood trips Viktor up. Kids around that age would still be struggling to fold paper to make airplanes - Jayce knows this from experience, a childhood annoyance of never being able to fold the lines just right to get them to go far.

“Can you imagine it? I would’ve been able to get you scraps from my family’s forge and you could’ve made us an army of boats,” Jayce says, excitement getting the best of him and Viktor looks a little less shy now. 

“I think I would’ve appreciated that,” he says softly, and returns his attention back to his sushi.

They eat the rest of their meal in companionable silence. They sort out their leftovers and clear the table. Jayce throws everything away while Viktor puts their containers in the fridge.

Jayce stands, uncertain now as he watches Viktor close the fridge.

“Um…your place or mine?” he asks, his usual suaveness is gone.

“My place is closer,” Viktor says and goes to gather his things. Once he’s loaded with his notebooks and his bag, they both wordlessly leave the lab.

They take the elevator down and Jayce sneaks glances at Viktor the entire time.

“Are you nervous?” Viktor asks and Jayce jumps at getting caught.

“A little,” he confesses and Viktor shuffles his papers so he has a hand free. He reaches down and intertwines his fingers with Jayce’s, gripping firmly. 

“It’s just me,” he says and that’s just it.

It’s Viktor. It’s finally happening and it’s Viktor.

The touch helps ground Jayce but not that much.

They walk the streets of Piltover holding hands. Jayce is now holding Viktor’s notebooks and carrying his bag, there was no feasible way Viktor would be able to hold his crutch, his belongings, and Jayce’s hand while walking.

It’s late enough that not many people are out but it’s not like Jayce wants to hide away this simple affection. Hell, he wants to race down the streets with Viktor in his arms, shouting to everyone how lucky he is.

He settles for walking as close to Viktor as he can, which earns an annoyed and amused noise from Viktor as he keeps messing up the scientist's strides.

“Do I need to tell you to heel,” Viktor mutters and Jayce stumbles. He keeps to himself after that, careful not to walk into Viktor again, feeling ashamed.

He’s done it to Caitlyn before and his mother and well, anyone he’s close with while they’re walking. He gravitates towards their space and suddenly they’re walking further to the side than where they started and he hasn’t even realized it. Caitlyn usually shoves him and his mother gently reminds him of his space but he and Viktor haven’t ever walked together for long stretches of time like this one, so it hasn’t happened. Or at least it didn’t happen for long enough for Viktor to comment on it.

Viktor sighs and releases Jayce’s hand. 

Jayce gets a sour taste in his mouth and his shoulders start to sag, but then Viktor is in his space, hooking his elbow around Jayce’s arm.

“I didn’t say I minded it,” Viktor says and they walk the rest of the way like that, bumping into each other every once in a while making Jayce smile and feel light.

Viktor’s home is one side of a townhouse near the edge of the academy district. There are flower pots on the stoop but it’s too cold for anything to be in them. Inside there’s a fire that automatically lights when Viktor turns on the lights. The kitchen is simple but has a certain charm to it with darkwood and dark blue accents. The table is piled high with textbooks and notebooks. There’s a new set of kitchen tools on the table that has Jayce puzzled. He walks over to it, noticing a post-it on the box. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” Viktor asks, opening one of his cupboards and Jayce makes a noise of agreement.

“Sky got you kitchenware?” he asks, tapping the see through screen of the box.

“Oh yes, she saw how old my last set was and bought me a new one,” Viktor says, sounding bashful and he scratches at the mole under his eye.

Jayce feels something hot flow through him but it’s not a pleasurable warmth. No this is an angry warmth.

“She’s been here before?” he asks, trying to keep the jealousy out of his voice but failing.

Viktor sets two mugs down on the counter and leans back against it, setting his crutch off to the side where there’s a custom made nook for it to rest in.

“Sky and I grew up together. We were closer when we were younger and reconnected at the academy,” he says slowly, his gaze steady on Jayce like he’s trying to understand him down to his core. 

It feels like a bucket of cold water has been dumped on Jayce’s head. This is new information that he should be tucking away, he wants to learn everything about Viktor after all, but this particular information curls around his heart and makes him unsteady.

He didn’t even know Viktor liked to bake. 

“Jayce, come here.”

He hesitates, his eyes glued to the post it note.

I found this cute set at Nobles and thought of you! I can’t wait to taste what you’ll create next

- Sky 

There’s even a little heart doodled next to her name.

He turns away and walks over to Viktor.

“Closer,” Viktor huffs and Jayce goes until the tip of their shoes touch.

“I can’t believe I’m having this conversation to be honest with you,” Viktor says, a disbelieving smile on his lips and Jayce cocks his head to the side, confused at the reaction Viktor has to his jealousy.

“Sky is nothing more than a friend , Jayce. I need to tell her in blunt words but I…I’m not used to others holding affection for me. Really, I only took any notice of it today when I saw how you reacted to her asking me to dinner.”

He rubs his hands up and down Jayce’s sides and Jayce relaxes.

“I’m being silly-” he says but Viktor cuts him off.

“No, it’s natural for someone who likes another person to…eh…” he trails off and looks embarrassed, his cheeks flushing with the slightest of color.

“When two people love each other,” Jayce teases, meaning to say like and not love but now it’s there in the open between them.

“Yes,” Viktor says, his eyes wide and hopeful as he looks up at Jayce.

“I was jealous when I thought of anyone holding your attention,” Viktor whispers, licking his lips.

Jayce leans down, caging Viktor in by putting his arms on either side of his slighter frame and slotting one of his legs in between Viktor's. 

“Yeah?” he asks, his breath coming out as a long exhale, causing Viktor’s hair to stir.

“You don’t like it when I’m not giving you all my attention,” Jayce states.

They hadn’t had many interactions with others since they’d spent most of the week in the lab, only really leaving for their apartments - or in Jayce’s case, the gym and the forge as well.

But there had been one time, when one of professor Heimendingers students had come to the lab instead of Sky or Heimerdinger. He’d been starstruck by Jayce apparently and Viktor had made a blunt comment to the boy about his overeagerness. Jayce had chalked it up to Viktor just being fed up with the boys floundering all over Jayce, not any actual jealousy because he’d become distracted by all the compliments the newcomer had been giving him.

This new angle was intriguing. It seemed that Viktor was just as caught up in Jayce as Jayce was caught up in him. 

“No,” Viktor says simply, his hands playing with the short strands of hair at Jayce’s nape.

“Then you have my attention,” Jayce says, closing the distance between them to kiss Viktor.

With his lips still on Viktor's, he uses one hand to nudge the mugs off to the side. He then gently but firmly grasps Viktor’s hips and lifts him up onto the counter.

The angle is better this way and Viktor molds his upper body to Jayce’s wrapping one good leg around his waist like when they were on the couch. 

“I could take you right here,” Jayce pants out as Viktor breaks the kiss and moves down to kiss at his jawline.

“Hmm but you said a bed Mr. Talis,” Viktor says, moving further along Jayce’s jawline until he reaches Jayce’s earlobe. He nibbles it gently, before pressing a tender kiss just under Jayce’s ear.

“And I’m still the one in control,” Viktor says.

Jayce’s knees feel weak and he leans his forehead onto Viktor’s shoulder. The other man continues his ministrations to Jayce’s earlobe and down to his neck.

“You are still ok with that, right?” Viktor asks, pulling away and pushing at Jayce’s shoulders until the bigger man lifts his head up.

“We can always renegotiate, have you inside me.”

Jayce shakes his head slowly.

“No, no it’s ok. I like the idea of you inside me just as much as I like the idea of it the other way around.”

Viktor looks at him critically.

“Next time then,” he says and Jayce can’t help but nod, the butterflies in his stomach swirling around.

Next time.

“Let’s go to my room then,” Viktor says and Jayce moves back only enough to allow the man to slip off the counter and onto the floor. He immediately starts kissing the shorter man, crowding him against the counter again.

“We can’t- Jayce you need to-” Viktor tries speaking but Jayce is determined with his kisses.

Viktor gives a particularly hard nip to his lower lip and he pulls away reluctantly.

“At least let's take off our shoes, I’m not having dirt trekked all over my house,” Viktor pants, running a hand through his hair trying to tame his tresses. It’s really no use as Jayce’s hands have made good work of messing up the thick wavy hair.

They toe off their shoes and Jayce tries to be patient, he really does. He follows Viktor, who is using his cane now instead of his crutch. They almost make it all the way down the hall before Jayce figures he’s been patient enough and scoops Viktor into his arms again.

“Is this going to become a…thing?” Viktor asks dryly, one arm around Jayce’s neck and the cane still in his other hand.

He kind of looks like he wants to smack Jayce with the cane.

“If it makes you feel any better I’m just impatient and you’re light. I’d do this with any partner,” Jayce soothes and a complicated span of emotions show on Viktor’s face.

Jayce is telling the truth though. He knows a part of Viktor assumes he’s doing this because Viktor isn’t moving fast enough or he thinks Viktor is weak and needs to be carried. Jayce’s mind doesn’t see it like that, he just wants to hold Viktor and get to the bedroom too. The simplest solution is to just carry Viktor to satisfy those needs in him. 

“Alright,” Viktor says, sensing the truth there and carefully stretches to lean his cane against the wall. It still falls but it makes less of a clatter than if Viktor had just dropped it.

“Proceed,” he says and waves a hand for Jayce to continue. 

“Um, Vik, I’m not a mind reader,” Jayce chuckles. “Which one is your room?”

Viktor points to the door that slightly ajar at the end of the hallway and Jayce speedwalks to it, his steps only faltering when Viktor starts licking and sucking on his previous lovebites he’s scattered across Jayce’s neck.

They’re both going to need to wear turtlenecks for the foreseeable future.

Jayce guesses where the light is on the first try, flicking the switch with the back of his arm. It’s awkward and the switch digs into his arm making him wince but no way in hell is he letting go of Viktor. He closes the door with his socked foot and neatly side-steps some clutter on the floor.

The bed is massive . There’s also a ton of pillows, some of them longer and more squished so Jayce assumes they’re support pillows for his partner's leg. He pauses, trying where best to put Viktor down.

He sits Viktor down onto the edge of the bed and starts taking pillows and placing some of them on the floor after he can’t find a good enough spot. Viktor starts taking off his clothes while Jayce starts putting the rest of the pillows not on the floor against the headboard. He makes a nice mountain and catches the tailend of Viktor taking off his briefs. 

He makes a mental note that a lot of the pillows had silk cases.

Viktor hadn’t struck him as someone to have those kinds of luxuries but maybe that’s why his hair was always so silky looking and felt so nice under his hands. 

Viktor wordlessly scoots across the bed and beckons Jayce forward with a finger.

Jayce quickly undresses, taking everything off so he’s naked too and crawls over to Viktor. Hell even the comforter under them is soft as fuck. 

Once he’s propped up comfortably against the pillows, Viktor is on him.

He’s a good kind of weight on top of Jayce and he gets lost in the sensation of all that flesh against his. 

It seems Viktor is impatient now that they’ve finally reach here, as he soon is slipping his hand in between them and grabbing both their cocks so they rub up against each other with each thrust. His thumb swirls the tip of Jayce’s cock, rubbing smoothly because of the pre-cum. 

Jayce moans and holds on tight to Viktor’s shoulders, his head thrown back into the pillows.

“Do you think I could make you come from just this?” Viktor asks, his lips pressed against Jayce’s pecs.

Jayce just whines.

“Answer me,” Viktor commands, his lips finding Jayce’s nipples and playing with the bud there. He sucks it into his mouth and tongues at Jayce’s nipple while the taller man tries to get an answer out of his mouth.

“Yes Viktor but…please, I need you inside,” he keens as Viktor sucks harder, his hand releasing their cocks so he can brush his fingers teasingly against Jayce’s balls.

“What do you want me to do?” Viktor asks and Jayce thrusts his hips up, jostling Viktor so their cocks still slide against one another without the other man's hand on them.

“Please,” he begs, the heat in his stomach coiling and spreading.

Viktor’s fingers are against Jayce’s lips and he opens his mouth without thought. This time Viktor slips them all in.

“Suck,” he commands.

Jayce is eager to obey, coating the digits in his saliva as he licks and sucks. The fingers taste slightly salty from sweat and metal. He loses himself in the feeling, his eyes crossing as he tries to stare down at the fingers in his mouth. 

“So good for me Jayce, such a good boy. You’re going to look even more beautiful on my cock,” Viktor rasps, stroking the side of Jayce’s face. 

Jayce keens again and sucks harder.

“Oh pretty boy,” Viktor coos and pulls his fingers out of Jayce’s mouth, replacing them with his tongue.

Jayce can’t get enough, the kiss getting sloppier and wetter with each passing second.

“Have you done this before? Even just to yourself?” Viktor asks after they’ve broken apart and he’s scooted down to lay down between Jayce’s legs. 

Jayce shakes his head no, feeling shy.

“It’s going to be uncomfortable and there may be a little pain. I’m going to stretch you and take care of you though, and you just tell me if you need a break or it’s too painful, ok?” Viktor says.

Jayce nods, feeling heady with how careful Viktor is being in this situation.

“Tell me with your words Jayce,” Viktor says and Jayce chokes out a yes.

“Ok, good boy,” the praise rolls off Viktor’s tongue so easily and it shatters something in Jayce each time. 

Viktor tells him to bring his legs up and he does, revealing his hole and giving Viktor easier access.

Viktor kisses Jayce’s hole, making him shudder and the muscle to flutter, and then Viktor’s saliva coated finger is breaching.

It’s a strange sensation to say the least, having Viktor’s finger up his ass, wiggling around to start stretching Jayce out, and he can see his own chest starting to get red from how flushed he is.

“You’re doing so good baby,” Viktor says, inserting a second finger. This one makes Jayce feel a little uncomfortable and he shifts a little.

Viktor coos softly and kisses the underside of Jayce’s cock. He mumbles soft affirmations and slowly starts a scissoring motion inside of Jayce.

He withdraws his fingers, leaving Jayce feeling strangely empty, and dips his fingers in his own precum and Jayce’s so they’re slick again, before interesting them back in.

Jayce moans low in his throat and clutches at the pillow behind his head.

A third finger goes in and he hisses, starting to feel a fullness he’s not sure how to process yet, and then VIktor’s finger curls and his knuckle brushes against something that makes Jayce shout.

It’s pleasure beyond belief, the uncomfortableness gone as he’s gotten used to the feeling of Viktor’s fingers inside him.

“More,” he gasps out and Viktor looks up at him hungrily.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Viktor asks, his fingers stilling inside Jayce.

Jayce nods fast, wanting Viktor inside him. He needs it to happen like he needs to breathe, he needs to have that feeling again. 

Viktor’s fingers withdraw and there’s a hollowness now inside Jayce and he whimpers. The whimpers turn into senseless pleading as he watches Viktor lick his fingers. 

Viktor makes a pleased noise and Jayce feels the desire spark again in his stomach at Viktor liking the taste of Jayce’s cum.

“There’s lube in the top drawer, can you be a good puppy and fetch it for me?” Viktor asks, giving a kiss to the inside of Jayce’s thigh.

Jayce hurriedly moves, nearly kneeing Viktor in the face in his haste to get up and grab the lube. He starts apologizing but Viktor just laughs and there’s a twinkle to his blown pupils. 

“My eager sweet miláček,” Viktor says fondly and waits patiently for Jayce to hand him the lube.

“What’s that mean?” Jayce asks, watching intently as Viktor uncaps the bottle.

“Little love, or darling,” Viktor says, leaning over to kiss Jayce sweetly on the lips.

“I like it,” Jayce says.

“Do you have one for me?” Viktor asks, spreading Jayce’s legs wider with his free hand so he has room. His cock is right at Jayce’s hole and he starts squeezing the lube into his hand. 

“ Mi vida , my love,” he says easily.

Viktor smiles a bright and lovely thing.

“I like that too,” he says and starts covering his cock with the lube. Jayce watches in a trance.

Once Viktor is satisfied he lines himself up and takes the base of his cock in one hand and starts to push in. He takes his time, watching Jayce’s every bodily twitch and facial expression, keeping a slow and even pace until he’s fully bottomed out. 

“You feel so good, so tight,” Viktor says, and leans down so they’re pressed chest to chest.

He kisses Jayce, hugging Jayce to him almost desperately. Jayce wraps his arms around Viktor’s back, feeling each notch of his spine as he trails his fingers across each one. He plays a large hand on Viktor’s ass and another one on his lower back. He feels a divet in Viktor’s back and explores it more with his touch.

Viktor has back dimples.

Jayce can’t wait to explore more of this gorgeous creation he’s so lucky to have as his.

“You can move,” Jayce says, finding himself aching from the lack of movement. 

Viktor starts moving, his hips dragging slowly as he thrusts in and out. It’s a pleasant feeling, this added fullness and the slight burn of having something larger than Viktor’s fingers inside of him. But any pain dissipates as Viktor starts to speed up and he hits that spot again. 

Once he finds it he keeps hitting it. Jayce digs his fingernails into Viktor’s back and ass, trying to get him even closer, like they could merge and become one if he just cradled Viktor close enough. 

The room is filled with their harsh pants and skin on skin. Jayce is lost to the sensations, the same for Viktor.

Jayce is not even sure they’re really kissing anymore, it’s more like they’re breathing each other’s air and sometimes their lips make contact as the force of their bodies keeps them brushing against each other.

“Jayce yes, uhhh, my little sweet thing, you’re so pretty, so good for me,” Viktor says, over and over, more and more compliments and praises fall from his lips as he pounds into Jayce, hitting that spot over and over and over again.

Jayce can feel his stomach tightening and he whimpers. 

He squeezes Viktor’s ass again, kneading the soft flesh there and whispers that he’s close.

Viktor makes a delighted noise and the praises get lost to the rushing in Jayce’s ears.

He feels Viktor shudder against him and the most beautiful noise escapes Viktor and then there’s cum filling him up. Viktor looks beautiful, his arms digging into Jayce as he releases inside of him, his eyes closed and his kiss swollen mouth slightly open.

“Jayce,” he calls out and that does it for Jayce.

He cums too, and his vision goes black.

He comes too with Viktor pulling out of him.

He almost begs Viktor to stay inside but holds his tongue.

“Let me get a rag to clean us off,” Viktor says, brushing a tender kiss on his lips before sliding off Jayce to get off the bed.

He doesn’t make it but to the edge of the bed before he lets out a muffled cry and his hand falls to his leg.

Jayce sits up instantly, post sex haze clearing at seeing his lover in pain. 

“I’ll get it,” he offers softly, pressing a reassuring kiss against Viktor’s neck.

“The room to the left,” Viktor says, sounding put out as Jayce crawls out of the bed and heads towards the bedroom door.

The bathroom is as comforting as the rest of the house, the light over the mirror a welcoming yellow. He lets the water run until it’s warm and then runs a washcloth under it. He turns off the faucet and twists the washcloth to remove the excess water before going back into the bedroom.

Viktor has taken off the top comforter - clearly they got it dirty - and it’s folded neatly on the floor by the end of the bed.

Jayce takes his time cleaning Viktor’s stomach and the inside of his thighs.

He blushes when he realizes there’s fluid leaking from his ass and he blushes as Viktor takes the washcloth to clean him up.

Once Viktor is satisfied, he tosses the washcloth on top of the comforter and pulls Jayce into the bed. 

He has one of his long pillows already in the bed and Viktor situates himself before tugging Jayce more firmly into his side. The mountain of pillows have also already been rearranged so they won’t wake up with sore necks from sleeping with too many pillows, though Jayce is more than happy to use Viktor as his pillow.

Viktor doesn’t seem to mind either, pressing his lips against Jayce’s forehead as Jayce snuggles further into his lean body.

“I think this is the first time we’re both in bed by three am,” Jayce says and Viktor snorts.

“Maybe we can make it a habit,” Viktor says, holding Jayce tightly and urging Jayce to tangle his legs with Viktor’s good one. 

“How do we turn off the lights?” Jayce yawned, stretching his body before curling back up against Viktor. He rested a hand on Viktor’s stomach while his other one stayed between the two of them. It was probably going to fall asleep and give him pins and needles, which he hated , but he’d sacrifice it if it meant staying like this with Viktor.

“Did you know that I am somewhat of a scientist?” Viktor says and claps his hands, descending the room into pitch dark.

Jayce almost squeals because that’s so cool. 

He settles for kissing Viktor’s collarbone instead.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Viktor says, not a question, but a fact. 

“See you tomorrow,” Jayce answers back, sleep finally catching up to him and dragging him under.

They have all the time in the world now. They’re young, they have the hextech and each other in their futures, and Jayce has never felt so safe and content before. It would be him and Viktor, in all timelines and in all possibilities, them . 

[miwiheroes]

Hey! Miwiheroes

I saw you succesfully converting a mileven into a byler, and can you do the same to me plz? I don't like mileven community, they often are really close minded and I don't wanna be a part of it anymore. I open the debate and please try to justify this things that make me believe in mileven endgame:

1- Mike has insecurities since s1 about feeling needed and having somebody to lean on, I do believe Mike's family lacks love and is cold, and maybe that is why he has those insecurities. Where am I going with this? Well, when El disappeared, Mike got super upset and, in my opinion, he overprotected Will so he could FEEL like somebody needed him, I think Finn and the Duffers mention it in an interview a while ago. So maybe that is the cause he couldn't say "I love you" to Eleven, he even says it, he believes she will leave him eventually, like everybody does. That is probs the cause he is obsessed with El in s3, because he really loves her and is too scared of losing her.

I just can't see why byler is supposed to be the endgame. I think in s5 Mike will motivate El to fight and they eventually will come together at the end, having their happy ending.

+ Maybe he was sad in the snowball because he thought El would just leave him there

Those insecurities are not healthy for a relationship, but they show he really loves her

I would love to see this things from a byler perspective if you can

Tyyy

Hiya!! Glad you came to me it's such an honour tbh

Yes, Mike definitely has insecurities surrounding being needed. The thing is: character arcs being set up in season 4 suggest that El no longer needs him/ should no longer need love from a man who treats her badly, makes her feel insecure. The change from the beginning of season 4 to the end clearly shows this:

El thinks she needs Mike's love to know that she is not a monster.

El goes to the lab and figures out by herself without Mike's love that she is not a monster.

Mike says 'I love you' to her. He calls her a 'superhero'. It does not work and does not save Hawkins because she no longer needs that.

They are not on the best terms afterwards because El has a very different perspective on things.

So now we've established that it's pretty clear that she no longer needs him. I think she's realised by the end, that their relationship won't work. This is why they won't be endgame for me, it makes no sense for her storyline in S5 to be Mike 'motivating her'.

She does not need a man to motivate her, cmon. Come on now. A point in season 4's lab storyline is that she can do all this shit by herself, drawing on her mother's love. She was able to gain back her powers through love, but at that point she had no clue Mike loved her or not. And yet she still got them back. She did not need Papa either, and he was constantly paralleled to MIKE in season 4.

Okay back to the beginning of your ask.

Mike's always been protective of Will, and we can see how their relationship is very different compared to their other friends throughout season one. An example of him being protective is when he does stuff like:

"I'm the only one acting normal here. I'm the only one that cares about Will."

"So this is all Will's fault?!"

*Literally pushes his bully over onto the ground and is willing to fight him after he says homophobic things about him*

*Constantly urges Lucas that Will is alive when the rest of them don't think so*

Like, bro literally instigates all his friends to go out looking for him in the rain, because he believes that would be what Will would do for them ("he put himself in danger to help the party").

So in your point of view, Mike projected his protective feelings about someone needing him onto Will because he's upset about El being gone. Couldn't the EXACT same thing be said but the opposite way around then? Mike likes to be needed. And it just happens to be that these two people need him in that moment. However, THE DIFFERENCE is this:

When Will goes missing? Mike never gives up. He constantly urges his friends to do whatever it takes to find Will. The reason he keeps El around (before he makes friends with her) is because bad people are after her and because she recognises Will in a photo. He says that El is a weapon and that "we can't find Will if we're dead". Even when they all believe him to be dead, he says that Will isn't because of something he heard on the radio, just like how Joyce heard him on the phone.

When El goes missing? Mike gives up. To be honest, it's been a year. Maybe if Will went missing for a year, he would have given up then too. But, we can see in a flashback scene from the VERY DAY that El goes missing, Mike literally sees her and doesn't go after her. The government does, but he just squints at her and doesn't do anything. Mike calls her on the walkie, and on halloween, he stops, prioritising Will and later figuring out that meeting him was the best thing he's ever done, and it seems conclusive. He has no hope of her being alive because he says to Max, "But she's gone, just like Bob." (Bobs literally just died so hes saying shes dead). Mike never uses Will as a vessel to find El, even though he easily could, being that he's connected to the upside down.

So where am I going with this? No. Mike does not project his feelings onto Will from his feelings about El. The behaviours he exhibits are continuous from his feelings before El went missing, and he doesn't treat him in the same way.

Some other points you brought up were:

Mike is afraid to lose El and that is why he can't say I love you. Of course he is afraid to lose her. He cares about her, he's said that truthfully. He's afraid to lose Dustin, he's afraid to lose Will, he's afraid to lose Lucas, he's afraid to lose anyone. He feels that survivors' guilt from season one especially though, which is all the more upsetting about why he says I love you in the end. Will tells Mike that El needs him and always will. Mike gets the belief that El needs him to say I love you to her, and gets reminded by Will before he says it. AND SO that is why he says it to her in the end. In reality of course, it is Will that needs him. SOOOO the thing that makes him 'love' El is that fact that she needs him, but he's going to get a real shock when he realises he loved the version of El that's really Will and what he feels.

Mike lives in a loveless and cold family. No he's not in a completely loveless family. Karen loves both her kids and expresses it regularly, and we even see this in season 4 when Karen hugs Mike at the reunion scene. I guess what you might be talking about is Ted and Karen. Here's the fucking thing. Mike knows his parents are not in love. He thinks that's what relationships are supposed to look LIKE. He internalises his family's issues. So, he gets into a relationship like his parents', a loveless one. In season 3 we see him trying to act on logic not emotion, seeing that getting into a relationship like this is just the logical course of action and just part of growing up. That's exactly what NANCY DOES WITH STEVE and yet I don't see people going 'oH shE lOveS hiM sHe jUst nEvEr sEen hEr pAreNts sAy iT!!!!'. We can all agree that she just tried to emulate her parents, but she doesn't actually love him. (SHE EVEN SAID I LOVE YOU OUT LOUD but still can't mean it truthfully). But how about we break this cycle? Breaking cycles of loveless relationships is one of the themes in stranger things so it makes sense for this to happen again.

Maybe he's sad in the Snowball scene because he thinks maybe El will leave him there. He only seemed upset when Will went with someone else and the camera shots literally makes it clear? I have a whole post on this if you want to read it: Snowball Scene Analysis. When El comes in, he doesn't say anything like 'Oh I had no idea you'd be here'. I believe that he knew she was coming, and sitting on that chair, he was conflicted given everything that went on with him that season, the promises he's made to El vs. the way he feels about Will now. The one shot of him looking at her also doesn't make him seem happy, but yeah, take that scene and do what you want with it tbh.

OOF okay thankyou so much for your ask!! This was quite the challenge but it really actually gave me a whole new perspective on things and I really love these asks because it gives me a chance to better understand the show itself <3 Let me know if you're swayed or smth haha or if you have a counterpoint :)

Also thanks for not being toxic. If anyone wants to come and debate with me, do it in this way, because there is no space for negativity and toxicity on my page thankyou very much.

[househrt]

your hilson truth serum fic has been living in my brain all week i'm OBSESSED. your writing is like. you have literally taken them from the show itself and plopped them into these lil scenarios your characterization is just so good!!

thank you!!!! I felt bad bc I took a big break before writing the last chapter so I didn't know if it would still be cohesive or satisfying, but v nice comments have built my ego back up and I love that

I'm using my creative writing degree for the most important thing in the world (making those repressed freaks suffer and then kiss)

also (and idk if this is interesting/useful for anyone but anyway) when I got back into writing fanfic after years and years, I would fully write Hilson stuff with this video playing next to me, to remember what their voices sounded like:

[frick-en]

With a Tender Kiss, I'll Love You Always

Well golly. I haven't written fanfiction in ages. Anyway, I'm obsessed with Justin Herbert and in a soft mood, so I want to write something that'll give you a cavity or two.

It's not that good, but I needed to write this. For some reason.

Enjoy!

P.S. I didn't read over this. It is as I have written it.

The knocking on the door continues as you struggle to lift yourself off your bed with crutches. Grumbling to yourself, you finally find balance. Or at least as much balance as you can for someone with one functioning leg.

You hobble to your front door and check the peep hole. You only see the torso of your vertically gifted friend and the cause of your current misfortune.

Convincing you to go skiing for the first time ever was something no one else could do, but Justin Herbert made a compelling argument. And by that, he really just told you that he really wanted you to go skiing with him. You know you shouldn't turn into such a following, babbling, love-stricken idiot around him, but you couldn't turn that part of your brain off when he was around.

You unlock the door and hobble back as you swing it open. Justin reaches out to catch you as you start to lose balance again. He's very good at doing that.

"You ok?" He asks you. You only nod in response, feeling another shooting pain stream through your leg all the way up to your hip.

You and Justin make your ways to the couch. Justin grabs your hand and helps you sit more comfortably, setting your crutches against the side table. A lot easier to do than throw them in floor, which usually ends up happening when you try to prop them up somewhere.

"I can still get you a scooter, you know." Justin offers.

"I'd rather you get me a surgeon who will fix me up today," You grumble.

Justin sits beside you and smiles at you. That's all he really had to do to get you to smile back at him. But you can see it in his eyes that he's beating himself up. He feels more guilty over this than anything he's done in his life.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to say sorry enough times for this."

"Justin, stop. I'm not mad at you," You reassure him, but you know he won't feel any better about this.

"You still have to wait another week till surgery, right?" He asks.

"Unfortunately."

"What do you need me to do until then?"

There was one thing about this whole ordeal that has made it even more difficult to get over. And it's the fact that you haven't been able to shower. It's too dangerous. You've been told to take sponge baths until after surgery. It's kinda ridiculous sometimes, but that's healthcare for you.

"It's kinda weird," You begin.

"Whatever it is. I'll do it."

"I need help," You struggle to say what you need to say. Justin is a good friend of yours, and while you harbor potentially unrequited feelings for him, you don't want to make him uncomfortable. Justin is such a good friend to you. He's the whole reason why you've been able to come out of your shell and actually enjoy a lot of life's fun little quirks. That was until you trip over a larger than expected rock while skiing down a mountain of hard snow.

Justin was the first person by your side. He carried you out of the line of other skiers and stayed with you at the hospital.

"Are you gonna say it? Or do I need to guess?" Justin asks.

"Sorry. I," You sigh. "Please don't get weird about this."

"Then tell me," He responds, poking your arm playfully. This gesture allows you to realize just how close he is sitting to you.

"I really need to shower. But they told me not to because I could get hurt, and because I don't have a bathtub, I can't sit in a bath either. I can only take sponge baths until after the surgery. I just feel really gross, and I think if I smelled less like vanilla ass, then I'll feel better."

"You want me to give you a sponge bath?" He asks.

"I just need help with one. I'm not gonna make you do everything," You explain.

You tell Justin that you need a bowl of soapy water, preferably warm along with your sponge and a towel or two.

"Is that all?" Justin asks.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" You asks him noticing the slight pink tinge to his cheeks. Dimples on full display as he shakes his head.

"Thank you, Justin."

"You need me to stay here while you get cleaned up? I mean, in a different room."

"Sure. I might need your help," You respond. Justin nods and starts to walk away before you call him again, "Justin? Would you mind bringing me a clean shirt? I'm ashamed to say how long it's been since I've changed."

"Don't worry about it. I'll be right back," Justin responds. He walks back to your room and doesn't take long to bring back a familiar t-shirt. A green one with a big yellow "O" painted on it.

"I didn't know you had this," He says. "I've been looking for it honestly."

"I'm sorry. I couldn't bring myself to give it back."

Justin tosses you the shirt. He stands there waiting for you to give him your dirty clothes.

"Uhh... Sorry, I- Would you mind? Turning around?" You ask him.

"Oh! Sorry. I wasn't thinking," Justin turns around and holds his hand out for the shirt. You quickly switch t-shirts, deciding to wait until he leaves the room to take the shirt back off.

After taking your time to wash every crevice you could reach, you finally reach the most difficult part of this process. Your feet. You pull the leg of you sweatpants up and try to reach your sponge over to your feet. You feel that stinging, shooting pain again. And you're trying to clean your good foot. The splint on your other leg makes it surprisingly difficult in the position you're in to move your good leg.

You groan in pain and sit back on the couch. Taking a deep breath until the pain subsides. You sit back up and try to reach again with no luck.

You sigh. "Justin! You can come back in here now!"

Justin awkwardly enters the living room and sees you struggle to get your feet.

"You ok?" He asks. "You need help?"

"I'm sorry," You respond.

Justin walks over to the couch and crouches down in front of you. He puts the bowl of lukewarm water in the floor over a towel. He gently grabs your leg and adjusts so that you can be in a more comfortable position.

"That alright?' He asks, looking up at you. Eyes sparkling.

You feel like you swallowed a frog with the way he's looking at you. You nod. Justin holds your foot as he takes your sponge and gently scrubs.

"Is that warm enough?" He asks. So attentive to you.

"Yeah," You say with a raspy breath. Justin uses the towel to dry your foot off. He looks up at you again and smiles.

Not being able to stop yourself from talking, you say, "This is officially the weirdest thing I've ever done with a friend."

"Yeah." Justin says quietly as he moves to the more sensitive leg. He gently pulls the leg of your sweatpants up, gently grabbing your foot and even more gently scrubbing the foot. He notices the deep purples and reds that reach your calf. Those same colors that is causing the delay in your surgery.

"You good?" You ask him, being the worried one for a change.

"I just can't believe this happened to you. It's all my fault," He says.

"Justin."

"No. I'm the one who convinced you to go skiing when you said repeatedly you didn't want to."

"Justin. If I didn't want to go skiing then I wouldn't. I only went because it was you," You explain. Not even thinking. The things that a fresh sponge bath makes a girl do.

"Yeah. Cause I'm your friend," He says, going quiet again.

"Because I like spending time with you. I love spending time with you. And I'll do whatever you want so that I can keep spending time with you."

"What?"

"I'll do whatever you want so that I can keep spending time with you."

Justin looks up at you again. He stands on his knees to get a little closer to you.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You're smart enough to figure it out yourself, Herbert."

"Please, tell me."

"Don't make me say it."

Justin moves so that he's a mere centimeter from your face. Your lips just barely touch before you stop and pull him in for a hug. Justin doesn't think. He just hugs you back and savors the moment.

"I would let you kiss me, but I have shit breath right now too. I want my first kiss with you to be perfect."

"I don't care how smelly you think your breath is. But if you want to wait. I'm fine with that. I'm just glad we can finally be subtly honest with each other," Justin admits. You nod along in agreement before Justin touches a tender kiss to your forehead. You close your eyes and breathe him in. Afraid that he'll evaporate into thin air if you don't savor this moment yourself.

"I'll love you always, you know."

_____

That's all folks. I didn't really know how to end the story. But it's been a long time since I've written so please give me you most constructive criticisms please.

[asteral-feileacan]

Random Arcane finale thoughts in bullet points in no particular order (spoilers)

...

so like they just couldnt resist killing not one of my favourite characters, not two, not even three, but all FIVE of my favourite characters???

Well actually no Ekko survived the slaughter

but still 5/6 is crazy and i am deeply wounded

but wait can't like our ascended "bros" just come back in the definite S3 because they just got absorbed into the stone?? What is all this setup for S3 i fear i will not survive another season

okay okay backtrack

Jinx is rocking the new hairsty- oh. Ouch. Ouch x3.

when ekko said he was trying to find a way to not let an old friend blow them both up and instead of get him caught in the blast she tried to jump - :(((

okay ngl viktor is really ROCKING the new look

oh jeez

MADDIE WHAT THE HELL

stfu with that scottish accent ur not cute anymore

oh rip bandana guy

okay but the music when ambessa was walking up the stairs was SICK

oh viktor and jayce casually paralleling the moment they first unlocked the hexstone and were floating :') this is fine

the twink murder bots are scaring me mom come pick me up

viktor this is getting outta hand you gotta stop

oh this is exactly the setup of the other wor-

HAHAHAHAHAH I KNEW IT I CALLED IT VIKTOR *WAS* THAT RANDOM MAGE WHO GAVE JAYCE THE STONE

wait but how does that actually work like

there are two different viktors here

is one just from a different timeline that has found the power to go across time and universes to conduct his little experiment

what's his own world like

why is he not completely hex-ified like our viktor

am i just overthinking this

did they explain it but i missed it while freaking out

is this sagely viktor just a manifestation

okay moving on

"but you were never broken, viktor" :( brb gonna go cry

oh vander got quite the glowup

also during the final fight where everyone was facing off against their opponent my dad was like "what on earth is going on" because he's only caught bits and pieces of Arcane

and i was like wow this is all very difficult to concisely explain to someone who's only catching the last episode of season two

okay closing thoughts

mel's powers are very cool

rip cait's eye

viktor's genuine confusion over why jayce is trying to stop/save him :(

the ascension mY GOD

rip jayce and viktor (fave arcane character death(?) count: 4/5)

jinx NO

...

fave character death count: 5/5

ekko sitting alone :(

overall i felt this season was a bit janky but i enjoyed it

sometimes the animation in some scenes jarred me out of the moment because it felt not fully polished though

but still rewatching s1 combined with this second season has activated my fic writing brain neurons and i'm obsessed

[demiurge-mck]

So, here's the tricky thing with Spite - I think what we see in the few cutscenes he has is actually a merging of two rather different character concepts, who each had a different attitude about Rook.

My theory is that most of Spite's scenes were written recently, after they finalized Spite as a Spirit of Determination. This final version doesn't have romantic or sexual feelings towards Rook, but they're still his favorite person since they're the boss that Gets Things Done™.

THAT SAID, there's one cutscene that I'm 100% convinced was written and recorded back when Spite was meant to be a spirit of Passion turned Obsession*, and originally lead to a Spite who wanted Rook in an unhealthy, possessive, narcissistic, and (possibly) carnal way.

You know the one - when Lucanis first arrived at the Lighthouse, brooding by the fireplace and talking to the mages about the demon. Spite is pretty charasmatically sassy, especially with female/NB Rooks**, but the sassiness goes away once Lucanis refuses to let him talk to Rook (very specifically Rook, and not the other companions). At that point, the demon completely flips out and throws hands at his human host, almost breaking his nose.

Pretty much nothing in this scene is followed up on: from that point onward, Spite becomes a plot device for Lucanis's PTSD recovery, singularly focused on him fulfilling the deal on "freeing them from their prison" (clarified in Inner Demons about being free from the mind prison) and getting revenge on those who put them there. Whatever Spite's feelings for Rook were, they transform into respect for a favorite boss.

And thus, many fans who are disappointed on the lack of spice from Spite flock to Tumblr and AO3, making up for whatever Bioware couldn't or wouldn't do with him in Veilguard.

*= the onetime plan for Spite to be a spirit of Passion turned Obsession is confirmed through datamined character descriptions, go look it up!

** = I don't know if anyone's made a proper comparison video, but for female/NB Rooks, Spite's 👍 and 🎭 reactions are basically "Aw, Rook is so sweet, she won't hurt you" and "Oh, Rook's funny, I like Rook! :3", while male Rook gets reactions that are sharply rewritten to all dunk on Lucanis, like "Oh, Rook doesn't want to hurt you, but everyone else does" and "Rook's funny, not like you, you're never funny". Basically erasing any OwO-ness that come with female/NB Rooks. And all this is exclusively to the benefit of the player - Lucanis is firmly not listening to anything Spite is saying, and Rook canonically never finds out about any of this.

Sooo... Do we think Spite is in love with Rook too?

I'm honestly so curious about what everyone thinks about this... Seriously.

I'd really love to see what everyone thinks about this. I'm even thinking to do a second poll to reflect more on the winning option, we'll see how this one goes.

[deoidesign]

Time and Time Again comes back tonight!

Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.

My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!

So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.

[starry-bi-sky]

realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards

*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then

[yunmeng-jiang]

workin on my first scum villain fic!!

[skrunksthatwunk]

idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.

the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.

yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.

but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?

this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.

yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.

i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.

so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.

because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.

he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.

but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.

yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.

[gingermintpepper]

hey I hope you’re doing ok!! For the ask game, 🌈? Also perhaps ☔️?💧, even?

Hello hello, thank you for participating ☆ Once again, I can't comment on whether or not this extract is particularly fluffy but I do think it's rather sweet and it's definitely romantic so I think it's good for filling out both 🌈 and 💧!! It's an extract from what I've tentatively dubbed my 'Women and Apollo' doc which is essentially just a big running document I have dedicated to exploring themes and dynamics between Apollo and the women he's been entangled with! This extract in particular is from my Melia section 🥰

The night is a cold sheet spread across her shoulders. She wakes in pieces; first, her flesh, bracketed between the raw heat of Phoebus' bare chest and the sharp sting of the night air's fangs, then her mind, pleasure's fleeting haze quickly swept aside by panic then worry then guilt. What would Kaanthos say if he could see her now, bare breasted and stained in a male-god's desire? What would Father? No doubt she would have to cede the seat of the temple to Kaanthos. How could a carnal woman serve the people after all? And her river - oh, her sweet river! Would his waters even deign to soothe her scales when she was so completely drenched in the scent of a sky-god?

How foolish she's been, throwing everything away just because of some sweet words and a pretty face. Maybe Kaanthos truly did deserve the temple after all. Maybe Melia didn't deserve such a treasure if she was so easily seduced.

She sniffles softly, slipping gently from Phoebus' loose grip. His heat wafts off his skin like the warmth of a well-tended hearth, it lingers in her bones as she kneels in the grass of this unfamiliar field. It makes the sear of shame dig that much deeper into her heart. Phoebus had listened well to her warnings. He'd carried her someplace far away from flowing water, somewhere distant where her brother's scrying eyes could not reach. The tears welling in her eyes finally fall as she turns this way and that, utterly and completely lost without a source of water to follow. How could she return now? Even she was not bold enough to have the man she planned to reject take her back to her father's house.

Stupid girl. Foolish. How could she have been so short sighted?

"Melia?"

His voice is laden with sleep's husk, his arm makes little grabs at the grass searching for her shape. She swallows her tears and bids her voice to not betray her, "Here I am, my lord. You may go back to sleep."

The mildest furrow of his brow. When he turns his head, his hair flows like rich golden oil over the dark grass, "Come here," his hand keeps searching for hers, patting the ground, dragging long fingers over the dirt and frowning when he does not find her. "It is not yet morning, why have you fled so far from my side?"

Melia cannot help but laugh at his visage, clumsy and squinty-eyed, less the graceful gentleman who promised her a taste of change and more a bumbling kitten desperate for its mother's teat. She wipes her tears as quickly as she can muster, "If you but open your eyes, I'm certain you would find me."

He makes a grumbling noise, some cross between a boar's grunt and the crow's deep bellow, "Is this another of your games? I'm much too tired for games Melia." Finally, his finger grazes the edge of her ankle and like a child, he lights up, eyes still stubbornly closed but smile positively radiant, "Ah, there you are!" Diligently, he traces the shape of her leg with his open palm, measuring the smoothness of her calf, the swell of her knee, the broadness of her thigh, then he lays his head upon her, cheek pressed close to her stomach, heated back like warm coals against her skin. "So cool," he murmurs and kisses her stomach, throws his arm around her waist and nuzzles further into her skin, "Tell me when you've need of the water -" a dreadfully wide yawn interrupts him. "- I'll fetch it for you."

Melia finds herself laughing again, just a tiny thing as she runs her fingers through the thick waves of his hair. What is she to do now?

As for a fic idea I'd like to talk about since I don't know if I'll ever write it: Among the many, many, many things I'd like to write but probably never will, I really wish I could just sit down and write a story about Tenes and Hemithea. There's a lot of reasons why I have no plans to ever properly tackle anything regarding the Iliad - chief of which being that there's just too much information and the amount of research would be insane - but a lot of what I would potentially focus on have to deal with people and places Apollo loves and his inability to protect those things throughout the conflict starting with Tenes. I absolutely adore exploring Apollo's paternity in my writing and considering how fiersome Tenes was and how both he and Troilus would die protecting their sisters, I've just always wanted to dig into an exploration of their lives and connection with their father and how Tenes' death specifically would've affected Apollo. Like yeah, I know Troilus is usually the point of focus for such works especially because of the manner in which he was killed, but Tenes was also beloved! Also considering he was originally punished for being falsely accused of sexually assaulting his stepmother, I can't help but want to write his wrath when he realises what it is Achilles intends to do to Hemithea. Alas though, I don't think I'l ever get to do more than think longingly about it, at least right now lmao.

[buttercupshands]

Congratulations on nothing. I'm back to drawing LoV again after a bit of a break

those are mostly just a redraw practice for fun Toga is a try in "more canon way of drawing" with color practice too

I'm sorry that it's in russian because I have to have some will to localize jokes that came into my head while drawing it

it's like... a robot au??? or something, mostly just a joke "what if AFo just built Tenko and changed what he wanted"

and this is a joke about our 'favorite' 419 plot twist so it's basically just a bunch of joked about AFO failing to get any way to get control instead Tenko's head is not empty. It downloaded games, friends and stuff about being a hero but NOT as a literal hero, more on "villains need help I'm a hero then" way

and yes that text behind is "hands" written all over the place bc I wanted to add hands in handwritten form