#WELP THAT'S IT ONE MORE SEASON DOWN

[sortanonymous]

Wait, they're making another one? Oh-kaaayyyy... Not holding my breath, but hopefully it's at least better than the $h!tshow that was the second movie. (Even if that "version" of Silver is still there.) If it's any consolation, I don't know how much Sega is involved with the Sonic movies, but if it's a good bit, then maybe they can help out! At the very least, there's this amazing comment under the reveal teaser. (GOLDEN ISLAND MENTIONED)

[00kittenz]

── stress relief. ( sjy ) 🎧

๑ Jake hasn’t gotten as much attention from you lately, so I guess he has to bother you in order to receive it..

pair: clingy bf!jake ㅊ busy gf!reader | warnings: smut, pwp, fluff, very silly and unserious banter, teasing, begging, fingering, oral (f. rec), spit kink (?), marking, unprotected s.x, creampie | words: 4.0k

welp- this was a lot longer than i intended it to be lol, srry not sorry. also why am i always making jake such a needy bf ? LOL, idek.. i just love a man that’s down bad for me what else can i rlly say shdhshsd

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

exam season never stroke you as easy, that’s why you took more time than you had into studying. you spent most of your days sitting infront of your laptop and it’s handy dandy partner— your notebook. on the side of that you were juggling your boyfriend’s needs, alongside your mother’s constant smothering over the phone about how she wants to see you this week. you constantly tell her that you don’t have the time and if you had the time you’d rather go over there than anything. you loved your mother dearly, but you wanted big things for your future, especially when you imagine a family one day with your lover.

“mom, we’ve been over this a million times, i love you and all but i’ve told you. i don’t have the time to go and see you right now..” you hated having to put your studies first before anything, but that was the only way in order to become successful. you couldn’t afford to slack off and just take time for yourself to do whatever you wanted, you had to remain focused.

your mom didn’t seem too happy with that answer, she really wanted to see you and you could hear it in her voice. it broke your heart the way she sounded. “i understand that, but i really miss you staying over sweetheart.. maybe we can plan something this week ?” she truly hoped that you’d say yes but you couldn’t just drop everything and go home for the weekend, unfortunately things were far more complicated than that.

you were beyond stressed out, and along with her constant nagging it only pushed you over the edge, you were well over aggravated. it’s like she only thinks for herself sometimes..

“doesn’t sound like you understand, i don’t have time and i can’t come see you ! you’re being really selfish right now.” you’ve tried reasoning with her but it just never worked, usually you’d give in and comply with her demands but you had to put yourself first this time. “i’m sorry but not today or tomorrow, not even this week, i love you mom.”

“i love you too.. i guess i’ll talk to you later then ?..”

“mhm, bye mom.”

and with that, you quickly hung up. you felt bad with how you raised your voice at her, but sometimes she doesn’t think. you could tell she had gotten upset just by the tone of her voice and that by itself made you feel like shit.

weight on your shoulder: multiplied.

not long after, jake had came home, he’d seen you working your ass off and understood how this upcoming exam was important to you. although, he also got to shake hands with this disasteress stress. for one, he constantly has to force you off your work to go to bed. he hated seeing you risk your own health for the sake of success. jake knew you’d pass with flying colors, he believed in you, he always had. you were few of the top students in your class. of course you had it. while he also studied for exams, he’d rather not risk his mental health for a test he could easily just take again. and he always told you that, but you’re too stubborn to ever listen.

“babe, i’m home !” he shifted to the living area, where you just so happened to be at the time. “new station?” he giggled, joking about how you finally moved from the dining area.

“yeah, i guess..” you yawned while busily typing away at your HP. jake checked the time once hearing you yawn.

“baby, get up. bed time, now.” he clasped his hands together a second before walking towards you and your silly little laptop. you don’t say anything back, only continuing what you were doing, as if he wasn’t even important enough to acknowledge.

“uh.. are my words delayed ? did i stutter? save whatever you’re doing, right now and get your little ass into bed.” he cocked a brow at you, waiting for you to comply, hands taped to his waist.

“jakeee, just a little more.. ‘m almost done ! i promise. it’s just a little bit left !” you plea at him, hands speeding up it’s pace, dancing along the keys moving to the save button after typing another sentence. your face looked drowsy. you looked tired. and you knew it.

“great then just a little bit for you to do tomorrow ! room, now.” his one arm and his other grasp you, taking you under your arms and up on your feet. “bu-”

“go.” he cut you off, nodding his head in the direction of your shared bedroom. you finally caved, maybe you did need rest. and that’s just what you did, but not before talking to the sweetness that lay beside you.

๑ ๑ ๑

“so, how was your day..” you ask the half sleeping boy who’s face was deeply snuggled in between your breasts. he couldn’t sleep unless he was holding you, the warmth of your body against his gave him the much needed comfort he desired.

“mm.. good, i just wish you were more involved in it..” you felt the vibration of his voice through your skin making you giggle, yet, you were upset with how it’s now just dawned on you that you chose studying over the man who’d give you the whole world if he could.

it seems you’ve been acting awfully selfish lately, barely returning any of his calls or responding to his texts hours later. he feels like he’s constantly giving one hundred percent in this relationship while you barely gave half of that. jake knows you love him, you wouldn’t be coming home every night if you didn’t, but he misses that stage where you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t know how caught up in exams i were, i haven’t been giving you much attention, have i ? ..”

“you holding me is all i need.. i cherish the time i get when you aren’t studying..” he mumbles, hands tracing shapes along the slope of your waist.

“thank you for giving me time and understanding.. i love you baby..” you kissed his head tenderly. receiving a hum in reply you knew he was tired, so you yourself dripped into slumber.

๑ ๑ ๑

your alarm rang forcing you out of bed and before doing so you switched your alarms off. you looked over at your resting partner. he was so peaceful when he slept he looked just like a baby, and you wanted nothing more than to baby him ;(

*okay.. i wanna hurry and finish this.* you pulled the blanket off your arm before dangling your feet off the cushion of the bed.

“what’re you doing ? where are you going ?” he instantly wakes up when he feels the weight of bed lighten, hands capturing the hem of your sweatshirt to forcefully halt your movement.

“i’m just going to finish up my studying,” you remind him from yesterday, cupping his face as you turn around to face him.

“goodmorning, jakey.” you cheesed.

a strong pair of strong arms wraps around your figure, “gummorning, princess.” he half yawns, looking up at you with those precious, endearing eyes of his.

“c’mon, let’s go play in toothpaste.” you tap his arms signaling him to let go.

“are you saying my breath smells bad ?” he chuckled, finally setting you free.

“i mean, if the shoe fits !” you playfully joked, getting up immediately after he unarms you.

“c’mon babyyy.” you try one more attempt to get him out of bed, hearing him act all whiney since he didn’t want to. he’d much rather still be under the sheets and laid up with you, but you were on a mission today.

finally, you two ended up in the bathroom. mornings were always chaotic, so much going on as you took turns brushing your teeth. while he brushed his, you were brushing your hair and doing your skincare routine. you were getting ready to take a shower so you gathered all of your needed things, only waiting to brush your teeth. when you finally got a hold of the sink you got your tooth brush and sat on the counter, kicking your legs. you were sometimes childish, but so what ? nobody wants to age anyway.

“stop being weird, little girl..” you were laughing almost choking with the minty taste of toothpaste in your mouth, you quickly spat it out. “and you pee loud ! it’s like gun fire !”

he chuckles at your comparison, “i know a few things i do loud.” he mumbled before walking over to your figure that sat tall on the sink as you rinsed your toothbrush, caging you in.

once your toothbrush was away your arms immediately swung around his neck, you’d missed holding him all day everyday, which is why you contemplated on cutting your studying short for today.

“you’re so cute..” jake couldn’t help but be all over you, he’s waited far too long just to have you like this again; peppering kisses all over your face and jawline, trailing them all the way down to your collarbone. your body tingles in excitement, wanting nothing but to have your boyfriend’s hands roam your whole body. but you’d soon snap back to reality— the sad, underwhelming reality of what you’re actually supposed to be doing.

“jake.. we can’t.. i have to finish, remember ?” you felt like a broken record at this point but it seems as though it goes in one ear and straight out the other. he hasn’t touched you in so long, he doesn’t even know how he’s survived without it. he has his needs too, and his hand wasn’t going to cut it anymore. he desperately needed you more than anything right now.

“i’ll be quick ! i swear, pleaseeee.” he tries his hardest to plead with you, eyes practically begging you for an ounce of sympathy. “just want you so bad…”

usually you wouldn’t give in so easily, but the way he looked at you made you wanna fold in a heartbeat. was studying really more important than getting some dick ? yeah probably. but how could you say no to that face ? it’s been weeks since you got some and the urges were only getting stronger. you had no willpower left, so you finally surrendered to him.

he now has you in the palm of his hands, exactly how he wanted. he’d constantly be thinking of you, and all those times where he’s had to pleasure himself in order to get some form of satisfaction has now paid off; he could simply act out all of his horny thoughts on you now. and since he’s already got you where he wants, he wasn’t letting you go anywhere like you usually do. jake plays with the hem of your sweatshirt before lifting it up over your head, practically dying to kiss every inch of your body. he doesn’t know how he got so lucky to have someone as pretty and smart as you, but he’d never take it for granted— holding you within his grasp, carrying you back to your shared bedroom and gently placing you down onto the bed.

“my pretty baby.. ” jake couldn’t keep his eyes or hands off you for a second, drinking in the sight of you underneath him, it made him wanna tear you to shreds.

though he couldn’t do that just yet, he wanted to take his time with you. show you how much he truly appreciates and loves you. he definitely lied earlier when he said he’d be quick, there’s no way he’d be able to rush this. not when he’s had all this built up sexual tension that’s been eating at him since the last time you two fucked. the neediness of his actions were more than telling of his intentions, you knew he wanted you just as badly as you wanted him— if not more. plus, how could you refuse that puppy dog look he’s given you ?? he made you go crazy just from his facial expressions alone.

his hands slowly traveled up to caress your breasts, the pads of his fingers swiping over it’s hardened bud, rubbing in slow, lazy circles. he loves the way your body reacts to his touch, how you’d arch your back just from the feel of him. your low moans and whimpers were enough to make him go even more feral than he already is, feeling his cock twitch just from the way you’d sound. he craved you more than anything right now. you bit your lip when his mouth wraps around the base of your nipple, his hand working it’s way down to cup your clothed core, getting a feel of how much of a dripping mess you were for him.

“mmh.. so wet for me already babygirl,” he giggles when noticing the dampness of your panties. you seriously couldn’t believe you’ve fucked yourself over his touch just for exams. you often found yourself subconsciously humping your pillow to the thought of him, wishing that his face was buried between your legs instead of it. your body grew so sensitive over time, it was like you forgot how good he made you feel..

“need you so bad baby.. let me relieve all the stress and tension out of you..” his voice was low, full of lust and desire for only you. he kept teasing you with his fingers, enjoying every minute of you writhing and squirming under his body. he’s missed this dearly, and he was going to take full advantage of this. your mind drew itself blank, unable to think of anything but your beautiful boyfriend on top of you. you judd your hips up against his hand, building a steady rhythm to match his, the friction driving you absolutely insane.

“oh..fuck-” you let out a gasp when his thumb “accidentally” brushes over your clit, his hands shift to tug the fabric of your panties down as fast as he possibly could— but that didn’t stop him from continuing his little torturous teasing spree.

his head rested perfectly between your plush thighs, staring down at your pretty, glistening folds, tracing his finger everywhere expect where you needed him most. “mm.. jake, quit teasin’..” you whined out of frustration, which only made him giggle even more, until he finally complies with your demand.

“you’re right, my hardworking girl deserves a reward. doesn’t she ?” he looks up at you with a devious smirk plastered on his lips, all while sinking two digits into your small entrance— making you cry out from the sudden fill he’s added.

“spread your legs wider for me baby.” you didn’t even hesitate upon hearing that command, legs shooting open immediately. keeping your thighs open with your hands so jake could get a better look at your sopping cunt.

“feels good, huh ? you missed having my fingers inside you ?” he continuously thrusts in and out, gradually increasing his speed as you’re on the verge of falling apart. he absolutely loved seeing you like this, it’s what he lives for. he felt so accomplished knowing that only he can make you feel this way; no one else could ever have the same effect on you that he does.

jake knew you were far too weak to speak, your moans echoing the walls of the room was pure music to his ears. with just a curl of his fingers, your walls cinch around them greedily, watching as they’d disappear into your tight hole. your whole body trembles, as you cupped your breasts to knead them gently.

“fuck, you’re so hot. such a pretty little pussy, all for me.” he pants softly, taking in the sight of your eyes squeezing shut, how you were so overwhelmed already. he could bust just from this alone.

his head dips down in between your thighs, latching his mouth to your clit. he’d switch from harshly sucking to lapping his tongue on the swollen bud, eliciting the prettiest sounds out of you. “taste so fucking good baby. could eat you out all damn day..” he praised again, drowning himself in your sweetness.

you don’t know how much more you can possibly take but you firmly pull on his hair for leverage, tightly tugging it not even registering that it could possibly hurt him. but he doesn’t complain, his free hand caresses your thigh gently, flicking his tongue rapidly on your clit and drinking up your wetness, you taste like a dream. you mewl slightly above a whisper, forgetting how to use your own voice. his mouth was making you feel more than amazing, better than anything you’ve felt before.

“ ‘m gonna come !..” your hand now held onto his hand for support, lacing your fingers to intertwine with his. you grind your hips harder, feeling like you’re about to explode.. your juices squirt onto his fingers and his chin, making a mess all over the sheets beneath you, in utter utopia from the intensity of your orgasm.

“shit..baby” he moaned, licking his lips to savor every taste of you. he lifts his head up, beaming with a rush of excitement to finally have you take his cock. “get up,” it sounded a lot more demanding than he thought, but he couldn’t wait any longer. he was so horny that he wouldn’t even be surprised if he nuts the minute he enters you, (but thankfully he won’t because that would simply defeat the whole purpose of everything).

you did as you were told and quickly got up to land yourself on top of him. it’s obvious what he wanted you to do, he wants you to ride him while he looks up at your pretty face. it’s one of his favorite positions, not only does he get to lay back and let you do all the work but he secretly loves that you’re the one in control.

“mm.. that’s my girl,” he groans once you hover over his length, gently stroking the base of his shaft. his hands slid up to find purchase on your hips.

his embrace felt all the more than loving— it was familiar, warm, and protective. skin on skin, body to body; beautifully unraveling as one. your mouth flung open when you slid yourself inside but no audible noise came out— it was but a silent scream. he was sporting a semi-hard on but once fully submerged and accustomed to you tightening around him, your walls could feel his length slowly swell up inside you, it was one of those indescribable feelings that you cherish forever.

“better start moving baby, this dicks not gonna ride itself.” he playfully demands, slightly bucking his hips up to feel some motion, “or do you want me to do all the work instead, hm ?” that offer was extremely tempting, but it’s not like he wasn’t going to do that later on.

“n-no, wanna ride you jakey… i’ll start moving” you stutter, shakily rutting your hips against him, he fills you up so perfectly as if his cock was designed solely for you. placing both palms on his broad shoulders for anchorage whilst raising your hips to now finally properly ride his fully erect.

“fuck… s-so big— so full..” you don’t think you’ll ever get used to how he stuffs you completely. his low grunts were the most melodic tone to your ears, along with his heavy panting and nails digging into the dips of your hips— he had your head spinning.

jake was enthralled with the fact only he could have you like this, a pretty little whining mess just for him. his cock throbbing in you intensely made you clench around the thickness, mouth falling back open to reveal a long strand of your saliva, this only brought him more joy as he pulled you in for another kiss, moaning nonstop into his mouth. you picked up a steady rhythm while riding him, moving up and down as you thread your fingers in his soft hair, feverishly making out with him. it all felt too good, he felt unreal, it became almost too much for you.

you gnawed at his lower lip when you pulled slightly away, leaving another string of your spit connected together; he drove you madly insane. his attention went soaring elsewhere now, producing wet kisses along your side profile, to your neck, gently sucking and biting on the skin to admit a reaction. a deliberate shriek leaves your mouth, feeling your muscles tighten as you tremble, he left more faint love bites to your collarbone and visible bite marks to your shoulder. he notices your struggle to stay balanced and shifts his arm, firmly on your waist to keep you in place.

“love the way you take this dick like a pro babe, you’re fucking amazing.” he praised you over and over, his words of encouragement helping you build quicker stamina, bouncing on his cock as if you were deprived of it for months (technically speaking you were, but maybe not for that long).

“you know i love you right princess ?” he husks, assuring that this’ll always mean something more than just sex to him, you were far from disposable, his love runs deeper than you could ever imagine.

“y-yes jake, i do. i love you t-too— mmh fuck !” your head plunges backward when he thrusts his cock back into you to match your movements, bringing one of his veiny hands to come rub your ass, sinking you further into him.

you kept a steady pace as you lower your middle finger to play with your clit as you rode him, the extra stimulation to your nub had your head dropping lower in reverse. you were so excruciatingly wet all you could hear were his hard breaths mixed with your soaking arousal slamming into his cock, only thing running through your mind was getting to milk him empty once you both reach your climax. a moan slips the both of your lips in unison as you scrunched your eyes shut from euphoric sense of pleasure.

“no no, look at me baby— keep ‘em open.” he ordered. your eyes flicker open once again, obediently following his rules, giving him the eye contact he so desperately craves.

“love looking at this pretty face every single fucking day,” he groans, still holding your hips securely in his grasp, “all of this is mine, mine, mine.” each time he’d say it another deep stroke would slam into your cervix. a final hit to your sweet spot had you trembling under him, crying out his name while screaming at the top of your lungs— you can tell he was getting close too by his chest heaving and sultry grunts and moans laced with an endless loop of your name being said.

your face contorts from your nearing orgasm imploding you, the o-shape formation of your lips taking over, “g-gonna come jake… can feel it !” a drawn out sigh leaving your breath as you catch it.

“yeah ? gonna make a mess all over this cock ?” he felt you clench around him at his every word, your hand reaches down to your bud caressing it slowly ready to reach your high again.

“go ahead baby, let go for me.” he grants your undying wish with those words, chasing your high as you finally let go, cream leaking down the sides of his cock.

“fuck, so good.. such a good girl for me.” he felt himself closer to the edge, “where do you want my cum this time babe ?” he asks impatiently.

“inside, inside me please !” you practically beg for it, eyes growing heavy, and your breathing becomes irregular. you soon felt your walls being coated with his thick, hot cum, filling you up with every last drop. you instantly collapsed onto his chest, completely drained and worn out by the end. the room remained silent for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s company, lost in his warm embrace.

“hmm.. what about now ?” jake broke the quite atmosphere with his random question, leaning closer to peck the side of your face, “how does my breath smell now ??” he teased from earlier’s incident.

“oh my god, shut up,” you turned away from him with hot cheeks. “what does it smell like huh ?” he laughed at your embarrassed state.

“go away !” you pushed him off of you to go do your little pee pee check. “smells like your yummy little pussy, donnit baby !” he watched you hop into the bathroom.

“my pee too loud ! can’t hear you !!” you shut the bathroom door with a tiny giggle.

you could still hear jake hysterically laughing in the background.

2 am smut hits differentt >:33 had to post a cute lil fluffy fic for my jakey pooh cs he’s so cutieful hehehe <3

also, hii lee ik ur reading this loll ilyyy .+(´^ω^`)+ .

@leeechin ♡︎

[astonmartinii]

passion for fashion | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem it girl!reader

she's everything and he's just ken (in a red bull shirt)

MASTERLIST | TIPS | MY SMALL BUSINESS

vogue

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 490,233 others

tagged: yourusername

vogue: it's the start of the f1 season, you know what that means... y/n y/ln fashion season is in session

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user1: @yourusername make sure you're windows are bolted shut tongiht... you're on my rob list

user2: and mine PLEASE SPARE ME SOME OF YOUR CLOTHES

user3: her and lewis hamilton are the only real ones in that paddock

user4: the way they're still besties despite what went down in 2021 >>>

lewishamilton: me and y/n 🤝 making the paddock our runway

yourusername: someone has to make it interesting around here

lewishamilton: see @maxverstappen1 even y/n is bored of you winning everything...

maxverstappen1: womp womp

lewishamilton: womp womp ???? have some decorum

maxverstappen1: jokes on you i don't know what that means

user5: i wish i looked that good candidly

user6: at what point do we stage an intervention for max's wardrobe

user7: babe if the girlfriend effect still hasn't hit then it's terminal

user8: especially when your girlfriend is Y/N Y/LN

maxverstappen1: i'd do anything for her <3

yourusername: even wear something other than red bull merch?

maxverstappen1: let's not get too far ahead of ourselves

user9: i love them your honour

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,445 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: max verstappen wins, water is wet

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user11: water is wet and i will be drowning myself in it tonight

user12: me after hearing the dutch national anthem one too many times

landonorris: tell him he has too many already and he should let his best friend have a go

yourusername: he said that's not possible because i don't know how to drive an f1 car

landonorris: nuh uh you can't be his best friend and his girlfriend that's not fair

maxverstappen1: welp, idk what to tell you buddy

landonorris: i feel BETRAYED

yourusername: i'm sorry i'm just that loveable lando... i see how it is

landonorris: HOW HAVE I BECOME THE VILLAIN?

user13: max terrorises them on the grid and in the paddock they maximise their joint slay to terrorise everyone in a two mile radius

user14: they slay so much i can't even be angry at it

danielricciardo: so that's why i was kicked out of the elevator

yourusername: you weren't kicked out it was your floor?

danielricciardo: why did i not make the post? I THOUGHT I MEANT MORE TO YOU

maxverstappen1: just because we both had teenage crushes on you doesn't make you special. you'd have to fight seb and jenson for real special treatment

yourusername: throw fernando and kimi in there as well.

danielricciardo: i was confident in my fighting chances, but i'll leave nando and kimi to it

maxverstappen1: pussy

danielricciardo: EXCUSE ME

yourusername: idk how we got here but don't talk to my boyf that way daniel 😔

danielricciardo: i'm blocking both of you

user15: i am so baffled

user16: IT couple for real

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,034,448 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: clocked in for my shift as the trophy husband to the prettiest girl in the world

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user17: max verstappen why is there a whisper meme in your photo dump

user18: his ass acting like he wasn't at one of the most prestigious galas in the world

charles_leclerc: YOU got an invite and that's the best you could do

maxverstappen1: you better take that back right now y/n dressed me tonight and i look SEXY and COOL

yourusername: charles :( he looks very handsome

charles_leclerc: my bad y/n i wasn't aware that was your pick

yourusername: SAY HE'S HANDSOME CHARLES

charles_leclerc: ??? no

yourusername: wow. you really aren't a girls girl charles. i am disappointed

maxverstappen1: does our history mean nothing charles? i have no issue recreating the inchident at the next race

charles_leclerc: FINE. you look very handsome max

yourusername: more passion please

charles_leclerc: you look very handsome max!

yourusername: more! give the lestappen girlies some crumbs to feed on

charles_leclerc: YOU LOOK VERY HANDSOME

maxverstappen1: thank you 😊

user19: ignoring what ever the fuck that was ... MAX IN A SUIT WHAT THE FUCK MAX IN A SUIT

user20: y/n y/ln the woman you are

user21: so how can we implement this willingness to wear a suit into his paddock fashion

lewishamilton: you might have to waterboard him

charles_leclerc: i volunteer as tribute !

yourusername: 🤨

maxverstappen1: 🤨

f1paddockfashion

liked by user24, user25 and 11,029 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & yourusername

f1paddockfashion: max verstappen in non-red bull attire? MAX VERSTAPPEN IN NON-RED BULL ATTIRE? also y/n slaying as per.

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user24: this is - i don't know how to feel

user25: maybe the real max verstappen in non red-bull attire was the friends we made along the way

user26: i am CELEBRATING but ladies do remember it's still alpha tauri 😭😭😭

user27: please let us have this while we can

user28: it's not plastered with sponsors so we'll take it

user29: idk about you guys but i think this means y/n should be knighted for her services

user30: i actually think prying the red bull merch out of max's hands might be the hardest thing in the world

user31: call me crazy but those jeans look kinda baggy 😳

user32: omg they definitely are

user33: death to the skinny jeans? fuck it first child named after y/n

user34: can we maybe get y/n in charge of max's merch cause the shit he sells should be considered criminal

user35: for real we need babe in the board room asap

user36: fuck it get her in the red bull board room as well

user37: go all the way and get her with the f1 execs

yourusername

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,506,339 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i love him even if all he wears is red bull

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user39: so ... who made the inchident shirt?

charles_leclerc: and how do i get one?

maxverstappen1: i got it made and considering you DON'T think i'm handsome you can go fuck yourself :)

charles_leclerc: GASP. that is my face you have to make me one

maxverstappen1: boooooo no i don't

charles_leclerc: can i copyright my face? i'm sending you a cease and desist

maxverstappen1: fine. but you will never look as hot as y/n in it

charles_leclerc: so you can call me ugly? @yourusername ???

yourusername: it was a compliment to me so soz

user40: the way she's fashion's IT girl and she still loves him even though his whole wardrobe should be burned

user41: real love

maxverstappen1: i love you. i wear my red bull merch to give you the runway

yourusername: sureeeee ... i love you too xx

maxverstappen1: let me live 😭😭😭

yourusername: the girls are dragging your name babe i need them to know HOW SEXY YOU ARE

maxverstappen1: i don't care how sexy they find me, as long as you love me that's all i need

yourusername: you're SO FUCKING CUTE I LOVE YOU

maxverstappen1: I LOVE YOU TOO

user42: can they chill? some people on here are lonely

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,033,461 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: my closet looks like this, so her's can look like this :)

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user43: max verstappen i misunderstood you. i was unfamiliar with your game.

user44: he's the standard now i fear

user45: a man who wears the same three outfits so you can have the whole walk-in for your collection >>

yourusername: thank you babe. you are god's strongest soldier

maxverstappen1: i AM. that room is scary. there's too much that i don't understand. so many shoes, so many straps i can't navigate it

yourusername: that's okay baby. there's your red bull draw and that's all you need

maxverstappen1: no the people don't understand. i went in there once and i swear i ended up in narnia

yourusername: you passed out with the AC on the highest level and jimmy and sassy sat on you. you were not in narnia

maxverstappen1: oh. well...

user46: this is the closet y/n deserves the rest of that house is defo a mojo dojo casa house

user47: fighting all the trophies, helmets and framed race suits with her narnia closet

lilymunhe: may i request a trip to the narnia closet x

yourusername: omg yes! come over next time you and alex are in monaco - the boys can entertain themselves

alexalbon: what if i want a closet tour as well?

maxverstappen1: don't do it alex you'll never find your way back out

alexalbon: (i was going to strategically leave a pair of albon athletics shoes in there)

yourusername: alex i already own a pair i bought them release day!

alexalbon: OMG ... one instagram pic so my sales can go platinum?

maxverstappen1: don't try and pimp my gf out

alexalbon: ???

yourusername: max 😭 and sure alex!

fin.

note: thank you for reading soz for the long waits between posts a girl has been BUSY but i hope you've all enjoyed! happy galentines day or palentines day to all that celebrate and thanks for 4.7k!! xx

[fushitoru]

EDIT: check out the series here!

thinking about writing a bridgerton!gojo fic (series?)....

duke gojo, who has stirred up everyone and their mamas with news of how he is finally joining the marriage scene this season after years of fooling around. of course, to no one's surprise, he is the season's most eligible bachelor. he's the strongest, whether that be in terms of wealth or other manly pursuits gentlemen ought to be good at. gojo isn't marrying for love. he just needs to be tied down to secure his inheritance so he can gamble and fool around at the gentleman's clubs with his friends until he drops dead one day.

you seek to be the perfect daughter in front of your parents. you have been taught to be the picture of grace and nobility, proficient at all things a lady must be good at: needlework, art, music...you name it. but deep inside, you have an affinity for literature---feminist literature. you secretly feel aversion towards the idea of marrying just to be a submissive wife but will not show it. you are perfectly content marrying any man that should not harm you as long as he has the means to provide for you and make your family proud.

upon your presentation to the queen, you are immediately crowned a diamond. the first ball of the season comes, and gojo undoubtedly has his eyes sight on you as the diamond of the season. after all, why would a duke need to settle for anything less when he can buy the shiniest jewel?

on your dance with him, you give all the template responses. "i would sire as many kids as my husband desires." you are afraid of pregnancy and even more so of raising kids. "of course I read byron!" you hate byron's poetry.

gojo is content, and you, tired of all the stares and hushed whispers that have followed you through the night, leave to get fresh air outside in the terrace. only to overhear:

"a bit simpleminded. has no opinions of substance that should cause conflict. she's perfectly fine for a wife. i shall begin courting her and will soon pro---"

at that moment, you have one thought in your mind: you will never marry satoru gojo. in fact, you abhor him.

cue insults thrown back and forth. when it comes down to having to marry gojo, the most eligible bachelor and the option that will make your parents the proudest, will it be a matter of fillial piety or...love?

dear reader, this season has definitely come forth with many promises of thinly veiled hatred, jealousy, and burning passion.

oops this is longer than the silly little thought i wanted to post but welp. the smut i have planned for this is outright nastyyy

comment if you'd like to be on the taglist for this

i also promise i have not forgotten about beach boy gojo :3 running into a bit of writer's block for that so my inbox is always open for ideas <3

[jinkiezzsstuff]

Hello dear!! I have a request for the Radio Demon

Do you mind writing sub!Alastor? Imagine your in lobby of the hotel with your beloved Alastor (on his lap) and you decide to do some frisky cockwarming with him.. well in the beginning he has control but then maybe Charlie or Lucifer u walks in.. you decide to tease him until he can't take it anymore and ends up having to cover his moans as he gums in you..

Welp! That's my request🎀 you can delete this ofc but do as you will ~

from windigo anon🦌

i’m drooling, frothing at the mouth, going insane, i love this idea!!! eeeee thank you so much i hope this was good enough i struggled a bit with cockwarming so i hope i did well

Warnings: 18+ SMUT, cockwarming, SUB!Alastor/DOM!Reader, creampie, possible breeding kink, exhibitionism, Lucifer knows what you’re doing, he’s the devil, and you use him to tease Al, jealous lucifer, lucifer is a cuck lowkey, reader wears a dress but no gendered terms or anything, maybe threesome elements?, OOC ALASTOR, NOT proof read, LMK what i missed! xo

word count: 1.9K

You and Alastor have been a thing for a very long time, and throughout the years he’d become rather comfortable with sexual intimacy. Alastor always held the reigns no matter where in life he was, that is excluding the bedroom. Alastor had made a foolish deal with you long ago, he wanted your soul and you were a fairly powerful demon at the time so there was a sit down conversation about such endeavours. You agreed to sell your soul and tie yourself to him, complete all tasks he needed done, so long as he was your bitch. Well, that wording wasn’t used back then, nor was there any sexual innuendos in the mix.

Before it simply meant he couldn’t try to place fear into you, he always had to speak truthfully when it came to you, and if plan involved you, essentially to the outside world he was allowed to look like the boss but behind closed doors he wasn’t allowed to pull that stunt. You two ended up getting along quite nicely as the years went by, your magic side of the deal made it so if he broke his promises, the deal would be off and more then likely fatal to the both of you, so it wasn’t too surprising things went well.

What was surprising was the relationship you developed, Alastor was unable to lie to you about most things due to your deal and most of the time you approached him as a peer lacking judgement. Even when you disagreed with his plans you still still gave your genuine advice and thoughts which made him trust you. Slowly through this weird bond of trust and leaning on each other, Alastor developed romantic feelings and thank god you felt them back.

Alastor was slow to warm up to affections, which meant you normally took over, letting him keep his poise and smile you’d always make the first move, asking for consent to push further whether it was a simple hug, kiss, or a little more frisky. Eventually though, things got to the point they’re at now, where Alastor craves you like his lungs crave air. He is ravenous for your touch, your kiss, your head surrounding his cock. It’s a tough couple months during mating season because he begs and begs for you like a starved man.

Because of his eagerness for you, and to please you, he’s very kindly broadened his horizons leading to absolutely tasteful trying of kinks. Recently the two of you have been planted at the hotel, Alastor called upon you the day he got there, and privately when alone explained his plans with the Devils child, your man had always been an ambitious one, but you couldn’t say no to him. So of course you stood alongside his plans, and now you’re not only dealing with the Devils child, but the devil himself.

Lucifer moved himself in after the big ol’ brawl, and thankfully things have gone somewhat smoothly between Alastor and Lucifer, as in they haven’t killed each other yet, but Lucifer made it his absolute mission to try and “steal you away,” like he did with Adam. Obviously you were committed to Alastor, but your mind would wander to sinful places about all the ways you could show Lucifer how much you loved you deer man. Oh and you just knew how.

Alastor sat in the lobby, looking through a newspaper as he sipped his coffee, music humming softly in the background. The whole lobby was vacant, even Husk was gone for the moment, you made sure of it. Walking into the lobby from the kitchen, your dress flowing around your legs, you walked up to Alastor with a warm smile on your face. “What’re you up to my dear?” You ask softly, making him hum eyes shifting from his newspaper to you, dragging up your form. “Just a little bit of reading, nothing much my doe,” Alastor seemed sleepy almost in the state he was in, his voice was soft and lacking his usual enthusiasm, however it wasn’t a state you were unfamiliar with knowing him for so long.

Slowly you lowered yourself sideways onto his lap, he complied with your actions wordlessly by whisking his newspaper away with his magic, allowing you to scootch yourself right up on him. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you played with the short hairs at the base, causing him to visibly shiver. Alastor smiled down at you softly, watching you tenderly. “I feel,” You whispered with a pause, mimicking somebody taking a thoughtful breath. “Needy.” You breathe out with a cheesy smile plastered on your face. Alastor jolts a bit still entirely not used to forward language such as that, but he didn’t say anything simply blinked at you.

“I think i’m gonna lift this dress up, and your gonna unbuckle these pants, and i’m gonna seat myself nice n comfy on ya,” You purred hands messaging all around his chest as you spoke, trailing down to the button of his slacks and back up to his shoulders. You felt him twitch against his pants, the blood obviously was already flowing to his groin. “Dear we’re in public.” Try as he may, Alastors words were wobbly and his smile looked more like a grimace.

“No baby, we’re in private, in our new home, at the hotel, where no one can see.” You cooed condescendingly, pulling your hands away to hike up your dress. Alastor dared to looked down as you bunched your dress at your hips. Alastor closed his eyes, head falling back at the sight of you bare, nothing but your dress skirt keeping you covered. Turning yourself around, you put your back to him, grinding yourself down on him teasingly.

“Y’know what to do, don’t make me say it dear.” Your voice was stern compared to the tone you held before, Alastor blew out air at your words, head still thrown back at rest on the back of the sofa. Finally he brought his hands from the resting position next to him, and freed himself from his slacks and boxers. You sighed happily as you slowly inched your way down on him, Alastors hands gripped your hips harshly, and his legs kicked out and spasmed every inch you took down.

Once buttoned out, you fixed your gown to flow around you, and backed yourself up against his chest, head rested on his shoulder. Brining his head up to gaze down at you, Alastor gave you a questioning look, sweat already gathering on his forehead. “Dear please-” Alastors words got caught off by a boisterous call, and the front door swinging open. Fixing his posture, Alastor snapped into position, positioning his legs up right feet on the floor, straightening his back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you up with him.

“Hellloooo everybody! Just had an amazing meeting, everything went in my favour, as always.” Lucifer waltzed in swinging his cane. He briefly paused scanning the room to see only you two sitting stiffly. You were more relaxed, eyes littled with an easygoing smile, Alastor however was tense; his smile was tight and unfriendly, with his eye twitching. “Well hello there you two, lovely to see you here.” Lucifer smiled happily plopping himself on the couch next to you, making you two shake.

The small bit of motion from Lucifer throwing himself down, made you clench, your arousal leaking down Alastors cock and onto his pants. Clearing his throat to suppress a moan, Alastor then gave a tiny ‘hello’ to the devil. Turning your body more toward the devil, you made sure to pick yourself up off Alastor a bit, and lower yourself back down, making him sink his nails into you.

Wrapping one arm around Alastors neck, you leaned sideways against him, facing Lucifer, your skirt successfully obstructing the entire view of your sin. “Do tell Luce.” You urge pretending to care, Lucifer caught on to the strange behaviour immediately however he wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it yet, so he pushed on shrugging and explaining his meeting. You coyly moaned occasionally throughout his explanations playing it off as “oh”s and “ah”s to his story rather than Alastors twitching cock.

Leaning forward Alastor stuck his blushing face in your hair, breathing heavily into it. “Is he doing okay?” Lucifer asked suddenly, quirking a brow at Alastor. Around your waist Alastors arms tightened, and his legs once again spread and splayed out a bit allowing him more space. Alastor felt pitiful, but in a way he loved it, only you had this power and nobody else, he could live with that. Alastor was too blitzed out to realise he’d subtly humped up into you, needing some sort of release. Playing with Alastors hair, you shrugged your shoulders at the devil, your poise still in tacked.

“Yes, I do believe he’s a little sickly.” Lucifer noticed the twitch in Alastors hips now, his eyes growing in size every so slightly. “Yknow i just want to stay something Lucifer,” You begin to say, eyeing Al from your peripheral, seeing his eyes closed. “I really think we ought to stop with the battle, Alastor treats me very well, very good,” You purr fixing your posture, making Alastor groan into your hair.

“I think it’s time to stop with the whole ‘i could take your partner’ shtick.” You say sharply, with finality, Lucifers eyes at this point were flicking back and forth between the two of you, a prominent blush on his face. You grinned cheekily once again and shifted again trying to fix yourself to face forward again, as you did so you heard Lucifer take a breath to speak, but it got interrupted by a guttural groan from Alastor.

Without warning Alastors legs flexed his hips jerking involuntarily up against you, it caught you off guard and made you gasp and moan. It didn’t stop after one thrust, Alastor sunk his teeth into your shoulder jerking his hips up into you, panting and groaning without care. With one forceful thrust and growl, you whined feeling him force himself against you fully, cumming far up into you, stealing your breath. Lucifer watched bug eyed and taken aback, he never saw Alastor so pleasured, now he felt a ping of jealousy; before this moment he wanted to steal you away to show you how much better he can fuck you compared to Alastor, now he wanted you to fuck him and make him feel the way Alastor felt now.

Alastors form grew demonic, stretching and contorting, you still in his lap. You didn’t move an inch as he contorted, not afraid of Alastor what so ever. Alastors neck snapped inhumanely to Lucifer. “You are to never speak of this again.” Alastors voice didn’t sound like his own when he spoke, and whether or not Lucifer was truly scared didn’t matter as he fumbled, stuttered and then stumbled off covering his eyes and apologising. With the snap of his fingers, Alastor magicked the two of you in the safety of his radio tower, where no one dared to enter unwelcomed. “Dear, that was unacceptable. But amusing, you get away with this little fiasco only because it was Lucifer you did it in front of.”

Alastor growled at you demonic form on display, smile stretched, he had your cheeks tightly pinched in between his nails. Shrugging your shoulders, you tiptoed up to give his teeth a coy kiss. “Whatever maybe now he’ll leave us alone.”

[zoe-oneesama]

Why does the fandom think Nathalie cares about Adrien? She's always all monotone indifference and "this is what your father says/wants". Yet the fandom likes leaving Adrien in her care post-hawkmoth sometimes? If you're really gonna read into things like that let's praise the one adult who DOES care about him- his bodyguard! Remember how the mere sight of him was enough to calm him down enough to thwart Hawkmoth's intentions in the gigantitan episode?

But no seriously I'm so bad at noticing these things- why do people think she cares about more than Gabriel?

Welp, she is the reason Gabriel let Adrien go to school according to Origins Part 2, and then we got the Great Hiatus to let that one tiny moment of feelings sit and fester in the fandom brain.

And Season 5 definitely did it's hardest to frame Nathalie as Here For Adrien, so it's like the whole series is bookended by That version of Nathalie.

But I get the confusion, Nathalie's been all over the damn place. Different Seasons characterize her almost like adjacent sister versions of herself? Like not a TOTALLY different person, but different enough that I'm worried about body snatchers lol. I pretty much compartmentalize Nathalie according to the season:

Season 1 - Belligerent Assistant who's job description does not and should not include taking care of her boss's son yet here she freaking is.

Season 2 - Reveal that she's totally In-The-Know, her indifference has reached knew levels of being just outright negligent, she is officially culpable.

Season 3 - Team Rocket era where she is fully into the evil dramatics. Also the gross fun addition of her officially being In Love™️with her boss and being angsty about it despite her bringing it upon herself. Also girl he's so crusty get some standards.

Season 4 - Bedridden bionic woman. Was it worth it? WAS IT WORTH IT?!

Season 5 - Pissed off divorcee era. She is actively picking fights and weaponizing the children at her not-ex, and while I'm side eyeing the last 4 seasons, I am here for this level of sass while she scoffs at Gabriel being his Worst Self™️. Too bad about the whole Dying thing but hey. You gotta make up for...all of that other stuff, right?

She's just kinda doomed to not be a cohesive character. I do like her heel turn in Season 5, especially because she was RIGHT, Gabriel had THE OPPORTUNITY to save not only Emilie but also Nathalie and threw it away because he wants to throw hands with teenagers. I too would walk away after that spectacular display of failure. I kinda wish she had someone to talk to, like even Duusu, just to explain that the only reason she hasn't exposed Gabriel altogether is because he'd definitely expose her as well and then Adrien'd be left alone. Like it's easy to infer that, but in a kids show, stuff like motivations kinda need to be laid out neatly.

Cuz otherwise it leaves it open ended - is she covering to spare Adrien from being essentially orphaned, or is she covering to save her own ass? After the 5ish versions of her, either interpretation is fair.

[cloveroctobers]

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL — Armando Aretas.

A/N: because it’s back to school season and I thought this would be a cute idea for you mothers out there 💛😊

WARNINGS: language, mentions of a medical condition & feels!

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

“Are you ready for school, baby luv?” You question your four year old that’s seated in their car seat behind you.

“Yes mommy!” The usual hoarse tone from your daughter is heard with tiny Alisha responding; she’s practically itching to get out of the seat behind you.

She was awake before you came to wake her for the big day, sitting up patiently in her montessori bed waiting on you this time around. This was a giveaway that she’s been excited since the girl loved her sleep but Armando’s been persuasive on telling her that she’s going to have the best time learning.

Alisha was already bright on her own so you had no doubt that she’ll pick up on new material quick.

“Ready to be on your best behavior and make lots of friends?” You question as you feel your stomach cramp with nerves the closer you got to Alisha’s preschool.

Armando cuts in as he stops at the stop sign, peeking at the beaded haired girl in the rear view, “and remember what daddy told you if anyone tries to be mean to you?”

“Um? Five fingers to…their tummy!”

You cut your eyes at your man, who meets your stare with a side eye. He shrugs at your look as he says, “what? Ain’t nobody tryin’ my girl if I got something to say about it.”

You scoff, “you know how hard it was to get her into this school, don’t go corrupting her like that.”

“I’m not.” He makes a right at the stop sign, “she has to protect herself.”

“Then she needs to talk to a teacher.”

“Majority of them have been clocked out for the longest.” Armando states, “Sure they may look all prim and proper with sun rays shooting out of their heads—and I’m not manifesting like you love to say but if I ever get a call that they neglected Lishy? I’m on everybody’s ass.”

You exhale, “you know I’m right there with you but…don’t encourage her on the first day!”

Armando snorts before speaking back to Alisha, “…Make lots of friends so that nobody messes with you and if you need backup, they’ll jump in for you until mommy and daddy get there, alright?”

Throwing your hands up in the air with laughter bubbling in your throat you say, “it’s like I say one thing and it goes out the other ear.”

Sooner than later, you’re pulling up to the school which is filled with more cars than the damn freeway.

“Welp!” You quip, looking away from the passenger window, “The parking is horrendous, I guess we got to go home now.”

Armando’s circled the parking lot twice now until a security guard waved you over to the other side where there were a few parking spots that opened up.

“Stop it.” Armando scolds, “she’ll be fine. Alisha’s got my blood in her.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” you mutter while Armando mockingly smiles at you, “…I know Alisha will be great. She’s a joy to be around but I don’t want to leave her by herself.”

“Babe, we talked about this.” Armando sighs, “she won’t be by herself, with a personality like that? People will be clinging to our little Einstein. Plus, it’s only four hours for three days this week and then we’ll see her again.”

“Four hours too long!” You whined, “Next thing you know she’s gonna be moving to Belize with some random raggedy ass boy—or person—we’re inclusive over here—and I won’t get to see that precious face on a daily.”

“…why Belize?” Armando frowns.

“I don’t know! Its somewhere far from us.”

Armando shuts the engine off and looks at you, feeling the anxiety just radiating off you, “…look at it this way, we still got FatMa with us and we got four more to go.”

You peel your eyes open at the mention of your chunky eight month old who was napping in their car seat behind Armando, snoring away due to getting over a cold. You had two kids down and Armando wanted six but you were once open to four. FatMa—Belona’s birth was a tough one after you suffered from cervical edema so you were more than willing to wait for a while for any more little ones. Look at you now? Sending your first baby off and you knew you were about to be a whole mess but you always had Armando to lean on.

“Yeah…we’ll see about that.” You state before leaning your head back against the headrest, “Lish! You ready to go, because mommy’s not?”

“It’s okay, mommy. Take time.”

Your head snapped to Armando’s at her sweet words, lips pushing out into a pout as you felt your eyes burn. Armando shakes his head at you, quickly unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Uh, uh.”

Before hoping right out.

You sniff and take a deep breath then exhaled before pulling the mirror down to pat any rising tears back and then you also climbed out of the family car. As usual you were tasked with Alisha while Armando tended to Belona’s stroller set up.

Alisha held onto your hand, twisting around as she kept peeking at all the kids up ahead behind led into the school. She looks up at you, “Mommy, friends?”

Smiling softly at her you nod, “Yes baby, let’s of them. Who’s number one though?”

“Um…you!”

“That’s right, mama’s girl!” You scrunched your nose up at her with a smile, which she repeated as you leaned down to kiss the corner of her mouth.

When you pulled back, you met Armando’s eyes as he watched the cute moment between you two. He leaned against the stroller handle and shot you a small smile himself before nudging his head, “ready?”

“Yes!” Alisha bounced on her toes.

You tightened your hold on Alisha’s little hand but still moved forward to follow Armando’s lead, ‘no,’ you thought to yourself as you walked beside him.

The line moved quickly that led to what would be Alisha’s classroom. It was all a blur honestly, the two teachers were nice enough and encouraging and honestly Armando probably did most of the talking, shockingly. The head teacher, Mrs. Miller gave Alisha a colorful glittery sticker with her name on it that happened to be her favorite color, yellow and her eyes lit up.

“Daddy look!”

Armando nods, “I see mija! You look even prettier now.”

“Thanks, daddy!”

Ms. Joan, the assistant teacher smiled, “want to say bye to your family and meet some friends?”

Alisha turns to run to Armando’s legs but your hold on her hand made her stare up curiously at the resistance.

Armando along with the teachers notice this and he gives them a knowing look, you missed him whispering to them that you were more than nervous about Alisha’s big day but this was nothing new for the teachers. They tried to be reassuring but your unusual quietness was a big contrast to your chatty ways when you first met back when you toured the school a few months ago.

“I think mama needs some big love before you go, can you do that?” Armando asks Alisha who tugs on your hand, making you zone back into what was actually going on.

She raises her free hand up to you, “Mommy, hug?”

A watery smile splits onto your face as you instantly bend down to pick her up and crush her to your form. You cradle her head and slowly sway her from side to side. “I love you and I want you to have a good day, okay?”

“Kay! Luv you too.”

The sniffles were a huge battle as you held on even tighter. The teachers quietly watched on in adoration, letting you have this moment that they’ve seen plenty of times before. Armando then taps your arm, reaching for Alisha himself.

“She’s mine.” You mutter while Armando turns his eyes into slits at your dramatics.

Armando then raises his brows with a blink as he pushes out his lips, “oh I guess you made her by yourself too then, huh?”

Which earns some laughter from other parents waiting and watching but you didn’t care. You gave Alisha another squeeze before pulling back to meet the eyes she shared with her father. You squished her cheeks with a groan before handing her off to Armando who still had his arms out.

Armando lifts Alisha up into the air with a low smile before lowering her so they’re eye level, “love you my little smarty pants, be good.” He says as he pecks her forehead and then each cheek before placing her down on her two feet.

“Bye mommy, bye daddy!”

“See you later!” Armando corrects as he watches Alisha take the assistant’s hand who leads her into the classroom.

Mrs. Miller turns to stand beside the stroller on the left of Armando and watches along with you two as Ms. Joan places Alisha in between two other kids, a girl and a boy. Before the teacher can even introduce them, Alisha is tapping both to tell them her name.

“Oh she’ll be just fine!” The head teacher informs you two, “I can see it now, she’ll be okay. Now go relax for a few hours.”

“You’ll call if anything goes wrong?” You manage to say between shaky breaths.

Mrs. Miller rests a comforting hand on your shoulder, “always but nothing will.”

Armando points, “I like you already, teach.”

She grins at Armando before playfully shooing you two off. Armando spins the stroller along and the more faces you see as you take your exit you’re tempted to run back into the classroom yourself. Armando can sense it so he snakes one firm hand across your waist, leading you and a snoring Belona back outside.

It’s once you make it to the car that you start bawling and dry heaving.

“Hey whoa, are you serious?” Armando asks turning away from the open back door.

You fold your hands above your head, trying to focus on your breathing but you still manage to get some words out, “I just—s-shes so big.”

“She’s four.” Armando blinks, “not forty.”

“She’s our first baby, Arman!”

Armando keeps his cool as usual, “I’m well aware.”

“I can’t take it! Then she’ll be off to p-p-prom and marriage—

Armando scowls, “i dunno about all that mami—

“So you think she’ll be living with us for forever and single?”

He can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or serious.

Armando clenched his eyes shut, “I’m not even thinking that far ahead. You need to relax, it’s just school, we’re not sending her off to her future just yet.”

You grip his shirt, making him slightly widen his low-lidded eyes for a moment, “but t-that’s what it feels like!” You bury your head in his chest and Armando hesitates, not expecting you to do this much but eventually rubs at your back as warm tears glide down your face.

Armando holds onto you quietly as you let it all out. You were right in a sense when you laid down next to each other last night, admitting that there was a 70% chance that were probably going to lose your shit over Alisha’s first day and that you were.

Gurgling is heard around your sniffles and that instantly makes you pull back. You rush over to see Belona awake underneath a crochet blanket, eyes wide and giving you a sharp look, like she commonly does at your dramatics. Laughing through your tears, you work to pull her out of the stroller and bounce her right to your frame.

“Good morning, fatma! Are you going to be the one that promises to never leave me?” You coo against her temple while Armando just shakes his head at you, moving to lower the stroller and put it back into the trunk.

When he slightly turns to the security guard who motions that there’s a car waiting for that spot, Armando tells him just another minute with his finger. He circles back to the side of the car, hand touching your waist as you’re on mode: baby talk to Belona who’s always unimpressed by your antics.

“Babe, we can’t stay out here all day.” Armando starts.

You cut your eyes at him, “who says?”

“I say.” Armando affirms, “you heard what Mrs. Miller said…use this time to relax and clearly that’s not what you’re doing.” He eyes your tear stained face, “Let’s go do some retail therapy and hit the spot to get those empanadas you love so much.”

‘And Birria Tacos for Alisha of course!’ You think.

That made you raise your brows as Armando opened the back door a little wider so that you can strap Belona into the car seat, “not you offering to take me shopping? You hear that fatmama’s? We’re getting spoiled today!”

That earns a grin from Belona which makes you laugh as you pinch her chin.

“Y’all are spoiled everyday,” Armando announces after you triple check to make sure your youngest is secured, “I just don’t need you crying up a storm anymore today like the big ass baby that you are.”

You huff as you step back so Armando can shut the door behind Belona. You get into his face as you poke his chest, “everybody can’t be the cool dad, I’ve got emotions and your petty ass does too.”

The both of you climb into the car and you work connecting Armando’s phone to the car in search of some music and stare at him while he’s backing out of the space while the angelic voice of Mariah Carey’s, “Emotions,” starts to play through the car.

Armando pauses even after he shifts gears.

“Were you not in your feelings last week when I was on my period and didn’t want you hugging up on me? So you decided to have a whole performance belting your heart out to love songs while working out because you missed me so bad?” You tilted your head to the side, waiting for some answers.

He scoffs, “not my fault that I got some love to give and you’re one of the only ones I want to give it to.” Before sending a wave to the guard as he pulled off from the school.

You humph in satisfaction just as a FaceTime call rings in. “It’s papa Mike.”

“Let it ring, I’m not done with you yet.”

Sucking your teeth, you wipe underneath your eyes before answering the call anyway, leaving Armando to rub at his jaw in annoyance.

“G-pop! What’s going on?” You grin into the camera as you place the phone back into the holder.

Mike lifts his shades from his eyes as he says, “nothing, just calling to check in on y’all. Thanks for the pics by the way, Lish looked adorable!”

You nod, “yeah, she walked in like the big ball of energy that she is. Me on the other hand? Not good.”

“Awl no! Don’t tell me you let the water works loose!”

Armando speaks up, “I thought I was about to get my ass whooped in the parking lot for a second.”

“No!” Mike laughs, “Marcus did say you just had to let her have her moment.”

“I did!” Armando scoffs, “Then she tried to make it seem like I was going to gatekeep Alisha from ever getting married.”

“Hol up…Whatchu mean marriage?” Mike frowns into the camera while you roll your eyes.

“You two are losers! Alisha deserves to have that in her life—if thats what she so desires.”

Mike scratches at his ear, jaw a little tense, “she’s four, not forty.”

Armando was truly Mike’s son!

You side eye Armando who also gives you a look to prove his point.

“And she can get married as young as twenty-four—

Armando quickly interrupts, “hell no.”

“Nope, don’t want to hear none of that.” Mike holds his hand up, “…did Lish give belly some love too?”

You laugh at the mention of the two siblings, “fatma slept through the whole drop off—

“You were hogging Alisha anyway.” Armando adds.

Ignoring him you continue, “and you know how Alisha is with germs. She’s been telling Arman and I that she doesn’t want Bel to ruin her first day with her jeebies.”

Mike gives that rich dad laugh that’s deep in his chest, “yeah, that sounds like her! But everything else was straight, right?”

“Mhm.” Armando responds, fingers tapping against the steering wheel to the beat.

Leaning onto the console you nod your head, “yup! And we got two more days to do this.”

“Hopefully you won’t have any more tears left to cry by next week.”

Offense was on your face now as you grasped your chest, “Wooooow!”

Mike laughs, “alright y’all be good and Chrissy and I will be waiting on the call from Lisha about her first day.”

“You got it G-pop!” You salute while Mike gets closer to the screen, “and Mando.”

He leans over to glance down at the phone, waiting for whatever else his bio dad had to say.

“I see you’re playing your favorite song…don’t ever try to hit that note again, you’re an alto man.” Mike tells Armando who frowns before he sends the younger man a peace sign, ending the call which makes you snicker.

Armando exhales as he pauses the song, “tell me something mami…did you go behind my back and send my—Mike something?”

Particularly him full out jamming to the ending of this current song. You liked sneaking up on him when he was either in the at home office or gym, usually you strayed away from the gym before he tried to drag you into the room and turned into a drill sergeant but you were the one who said you wanted to tone up the baby weight after Bel. Everybody works at their own pace but that only applied when it came to Armando’s relationship with Mike, apparently. Yet you did sneak up on him after feeling bad shoving his arms off of you, bringing him a snack but ended up finding another snack and entertainment in the gym that evening.

“Not just Mike.” You mutter, pulling your knees to your chest.

Armando slowly closed his eyes before opening them right back, cause he was driving you know?

“Who?” He rasped out.

“Just the group chat with the family.” You shrugged, “and they were happy to know that you do have some rhythm…not vocals but rhythm.”

Which probably included Reggie too but just like Armando, he barely said much even in text but he was family and you loved him too.

Armando decides to let it go with an exhale of his own, “well I sent a pic myself to the work chat of you not too long ago so…fuck it, guess we both ain’t shit.”

“Arman!” You yelled, not liking that very much now that it was on the other foot.

You wanted to seem cool to AMMO and not this sensitive mess but truth to be told you did not like the sound or weight of guns so you left that to the team. The rest of the stuff? Like the tech was more of your interest but you respected their work although it spun your insides every time Armando left for work.

He’s smirking at you now while you’re gasping, hands ready to swat at him, “ah! I’m driving and Bel’s with us, we dont need your violence at this time.”

“You know what? I’m calling Mike back—no matter of fact I’m calling uncle Hondo.”

Armando shrugs his shoulders, “am I supposed to be scared? I handle snitches like you for breakfast.”

“I’ll tell Alisha you weren’t being very nice to her mommy and we both know she’s a mama’s girl.” You mock over the console while you halted scrolling through your contacts.

Armando straightened up a bit at that, “…you started it. Nobody told you to fucken record me, like that’s not an invasion of my privacy.” He grumbles.

“Oh boo-hoo you like Mariah Carey and I love my daughter, so what! Nobody is going to send us to jail for that.” You sassed.

Armando nods, “…you wouldn’t do well in there no way.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re too soft.” Armando snorts, “you cried over inside out.”

Here we go again with the disrespect!

“That’s exactly why you got disgust on that tiktok effect.” You pointed, “Very fitting.”

“…least she’s hot, which I am too so that tracks.” He’s smirks at you and you really just want to choke him.

Fanning your hand at the bronzed skinned man you lean away from him while you say, “Sometimes I can’t stand you and today is one of those days, take me back to my baby, I’m clocking out.”

Armando laughs, “you’re the one who chose to marry me babe, so you’re never getting rid of me. Like you vowed, foreva eva? Your word today is: relax. So…” he skips to the next shuffled song and smirks since it’s so fitting as it’s Outkast playing now.

“Wooo! I’m sorry Ms. Jackson, oooh! I am for real, neva meant to make your daughter cry, I apologized a trillion times.” He sings, reaching a finger over to poke your cheek which you try to latch onto his wrist to bite his finger.

Soon you’re wiping the annoyance off your face because a hit was playing and you couldn’t hold out any longer. Plus it got your mind off worrying about your little one for now and as Armando interlaced your fingers together, bringing your hand to brush his lips against your skin while you started to rap, you felt like everything was going to be alright for you and your little family.

And Armando was secretly counting down the hours to see his little girl again, he’d never tell you he got choked up looking into Alisha’s eyes before kissing her forehead but he had a role to play and that was always the calm one.

As for the whole marriage thing?

Ask him in thirty-six years!

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

[randomfoggytiger]

React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (My Struggle I), Part I

For David Duchovny’s birthday, I put out a poll asking Tumblr which of his projects I should watch for the first time. 

The Revival won. Welp. 

I then, fool that I am, put up another poll wherein I doomed myself by including an option to watch the whole thing. 

And here we are. 

My Struggle I. 

Oh, boy. 

This post will be long because I'm laying the groundwork for the rest of the series.

MY MODUS OPERANDI

I don’t care how cute or cuddly or happy or heartfelt individual MSR moments are, popcorn will be thrown if those scenes are achieved through incomplete, inane, or nonsensical plot points. Give me 1+1=2 or give me death.

The Revival is part of a whole that includes all of Seasons 1-9 and Fight the Future and I Want to Believe. As much as I prefer to distance this series from canon, the reality that it functions as a direct follow-up remains; and it needs to be judged accordingly.

And, as always, I separate the art from the artist~.

...WELP. It’s time to face my doom. 

Let's go!

MY STRUGGLE IV

The intro’s… fine. Engaging, even. 

I did notice, though: the last series and Fight the Future and I Want to Believe began with the same formula: glimpses from what will be an x-files case, then straight to Scully’s perspective. Usually Mulder’s narration and POV didn’t feature until the tail-end of a two or three parter, i.e. Redux or Amor Fati or… well, even then, it was juxtaposed against Scully’s. 

Scully was the voice of The X-Files-- even Chris Carter noted that her report of each episode’s casefile became a motif of the show. Mulder’s narration was rare, very rare, even in episodes that were written to focus on him. 

A definite and purposed choice, to be sure. Mulder as an active agent in his own story. …OR a story that focuses on Mulder’s voice instead of Scully’s. 

We shall see. 

The intro continues; and it’s still engaging, possibly gripping (too bad I know where this leads)... but the music got a bit LOTR there. Is that just me? Seems… mellow, orchestral, a little more fantasy than sci-fi. Am I nitpicking? Maybe. 

The BIBLE references UFOs?? Lol, no. (Unless you count the objects described in Revelations-- the book, not the episode-- but even then, those are largely considered to be drones, not UFOs.)

Chris Carter, I see you. 

(Note from the future: NOW I see why the Bible bit was included-- lots of heavy-handed "God means this, Scully" in order to get her on-board to join the files. Ugh.)

…They’re really doubling down on the UFO lore, huh. All of which evaporated because of global warming, I guess. 

GUYS, why couldn’t this have been about life on Earth after Colonization?????

It fits with the disaster footage, it fits with Mulder’s voiceover, it fits with the character progression from Season 9 (I GUESS), it fits with a whooooooooooole ton of other factors. 

I’ve never been one for wanting Colonization in canon, but it literally would have worked for this series. There wouldn't need to be a complete wipeout of humanity, maybe just a “disaster happened, but the humans are fighting back” scenario. 

And that would fit with Mulder and Scully’s "breakup", PERHAPS-- they spent so much time working, trying to save the world (she in science, he on the ground or with untainted factions who coalitioned post-Colonization) that their relationship cracks would need to be actively worked through. Not broken up so much as together and repairing.

It would also help CC and co. to avoid the tempest of modern US politics and the more mainstream conspiracies that were taking hold at that time-- a broader reach to all audiences, a "bigger picture" for everyone to unite under.

(Guys, they should have let me write for this show. …I take it back, I’d have quit after three days.) 

Also: The show writers spent all their brain power on this sequence and this sequence alone, didn’t they? 

Obiwan Kenobi and Military Man are going on a bus somewhere.  

...On closer inspection, neither man looks like anything like Obiwan Kenobi, but the nickname is staying.

We’re back to Scully at a hospital-- not unlike I Want to Believe’s opening.

Skinner called? Oh. Didn’t know he was “here” this early. 

WAIT. 

Wait, wait, wait. 

Scully just called up Mulder like nothing’s a big deal? He answered like nothing’s a big deal? She’s smiling over his joke from the get-go?

…And we’re supposed to believe they’re seriously broken up. Which the show will insist is the case. 

David and Gillian really said, “Script? What script?” and did what they wanted. I salute them. 

Also, “What’s happening out there, Scully?” is a great line to point to Mulder’s continued isolation… which the series will IMMEDIATELY toss aside because he’s, apparently, not been as much of a hermit lately? (Granted, this could be a joke at his own expense because he’s no longer claimed by ~the darkness~, but…. I don’t think the writing’s gonna be that clever, I’ll be honest.)  

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 

Fine, I admit it. 

I’m loving this so far. 

And that’s gonna make me even angrier later on. 

“Why doesn’t he [Skinner] just call me?”

“He doesn’t know how to reach you, Mulder. I barely know myself.”

Mulder is baffled and a tinge annoyed, Scully is amused and straight shooting. 

THERE IS NO HINT, BEHAVIOR, OR MANNERISM SUGGESTING THEY’VE BROKEN UP. None. At all. He’s isn’t reluctant to answer her call, isn’t sad or withdrawn, isn’t affected by anything she’s saying other than to be teasy or poky. She isn’t hesitant to call, isn’t sad or depressed, isn’t anything other than a little pleased to dangle a juicy tidbit in front of Mulder’s face. 

This is gonna follow IWTB’s ping-pong writing-- they’re fun and in-character, they’re suddenly out-of-character, they’re fun and in-character, they’re suddenly out-of-character, etc. etc. etc.-- isn’t it?

(Mulder taping over his laptop’s webcam is a great touch and not something at all that I’ve done before. At all.) 

“I thought you were done with UFOs-- the ‘stranglehold they put on your very existence’, I believe you put it.” 

“I’m just the messenger, Mulder.”

That’s GOOD, that’s necessary writing. That’s planting the seeds of what happened between them, what led to a cooldown or a breakup or a whathaveyou. AND STILL neither character acts as if they’ve broken up: no melancholy, no sadness, no nothing. 

Mulder’s timbre became a little sardonic while quoting back her words, but that doesn’t mean they’ve broken up. If anything, that points to a bicker and line-in-the-sand between them-- him bringing up UFOs at the dinner table and her reminding him to talk to someone else about it before turning the topic to how the lettuce is growing or something.

Neither actor is performing like one would if pain and trauma and heartbreak and distance were placed between them; and that really complicates things because the breakup is built on top of the aforementioned list of struggles. 

Would Mulder have dug his heels in post 2012, seeing it as a sign that “the aliens” just changed their plans? Yes. 

Would Scully have seen a pursuit down that rabbit hole as a waste of time? Debatable. The Truth S9 Scully wouldn’t have-- the aliens are still out there; and they cost her months of her life, months of Mulder’s abduction, months of Mulder’s death, months of Mulder’s separation, and the ultimate cost: William’s adoption and their life on the run. Post The Truth Scully would have seen this as her quest, too: she won’t give up, she says in the finale, because he won’t. 

IWTB Scully, however, would- and that's a problem. 

I’ve already discussed, at length, how out-of-character Scully was in I Want to Believe (posts here.) Although Mulder doesn’t escape from the same writing blunders, she is really, really scalped: of her courage, of her will, of her determination. 

Whenever Scully gave up, in canon, it was only because she thought she was holding Mulder back, or when she felt Mulder had lost his faith and trust in her. That held true in Season 9-- despite the appalling writing choices there, too-- but didn’t in IWTB. 

The Revival had the perfect opportunity to factory reset the writers' mistakes: portray a wiser duo who continue to fight the fight according to their strengths, like they always have before Mulder ever met Scully. (When Mulder tells Scully to set up a meeting with Skinner, he adds, “Don’t pretend I’m going alone”-- which reinforces my point.) 

But I know that's not going to happen.  

Scully goes without argument-- THAT’S GOOD, THAT’S GOOD CHARACTER WRITING. At this point in the game, of course she would-- they trust each other, they have for years, they’d have reached even deeper levels after going on the run for [insert math] years. All good things! 

The problem: this will create a huge conflict with her actions later.

(I’m already so disappointed.) 

“Uber?”/”Hitchhiking. Relax, Scully, I’m kidding” was a fun modernization of their humor, I’ll take it. 

This scene is starting to highlight the distance between them, which is all well-and-good, but feels tonally different from the previous scene. As in, their two scenes were definitely filmed on different days, in different moods, and with different intents. 

She’s worried about him, with tears in her eyes; he has his walls up; there’s distance, as previously noted. 

“Good for you to get out of that little house every once in a while”/”Certainly was good for you” is followed up with knowing, indulgent, pleased smiles and you expect me to believe these two are seriously broken up. Nope. I’ve seen Scully sad but amused, I’ve seen Scully too sad to be amused, but these two? This moment? Nah.

Tonally dissonant-- the IWTB problem: at-ease and close one minute, at-odds and distant the next. Hoorayyyyyy....

None of this makes sense for a long-term, permanent (as Scully infers later to someone else) breakup. Nor for a short-term, semi-permanent one. Math doesn’t math. 

“I’m always happy to see you,” she says, implying he's the one who permanently pulled away… which will be contradicted later this very episode. 

“I’m always happy to find a reason [to leave the house],” he says, somberly. 

Both of which are odd lines. 

If he’s happy to leave the house to see her… why hasn’t he? 

If she’s happy to see him, always, but says a relationship between them was "impossible" (which she will later), why is Scully staring at him with heart eyes, hoping he gets better so they can continue their relationship? (And mark my words, this tone underscores her interactions with him the rest of this series.) 

Tad’s here. He’s... fine. He represents the overly cautious very well. At least he hasn’t gone full Alex Jones mockumentary (...yet.) 

I’ve heard criticisms that Mulder and Scully don’t act like themselves in this series, but based off the few minutes I’ve seen here… I don’t agree. 

The essence is the same. Truly. Scully’s got the same face that lights up the same way, Mulder’s got the same expressions and young-at-heart humor. Neither are really melancholic. Neither are David or Gillian esque. 

Perhaps that will change. 

(Note from the future: OH BOY. Which Mulder and Scully are we talking here-- OG Mulder and Scully? Nope. IWTB Mulder and Scully? Yep. David and Gillian? Once or twice.)

But, again, their interactions feel… wasted. Hollow. They’re supposed to be broken up, but their breakup doesn’t contribute to their interactions or the plot. They’re supposed to have suffered and are working back to each other… but they aren’t really separated, haven’t seemed to suffer (note from future: except for one scene which comes outta nowhere), and won’t collapse back together on-screen.

They’re supposed to be wiser and more mature, but they’ll still engage in a silly will-they-won’t-they while Mulder eats up the latest UFO or conspiracy slop he’s either already engaged in or debunked [insert math] years ago and Scully clings to her cowardice like a leech. 

First nagging problem: Scully smiling at Tad, Scully excusing Mulder’s mannerisms when he becomes briefly jealous, Scully making nice with a conspiracy nut. 

…Isn’t that Mulder’s job? Didn't she leave because conspiracies were consuming her life? Does this mean she actually does want this life back but is she playing coy or elusive because...?

Furthermore, when Mulder popped a comment off to a witness or informant in the past, Scully never excused him-- just breezed over it professionally with another question. She’s only saying “excuse him” here because she’s taken a shine to Tad. WHY, on this post-2012 global warming green Earth, WOULD SHE?

Tad says Mulder is the X-Files, Mulder says that “book is closed”... WAIT. Wait, hold up--

Pause. Stop. Rewind. 

Mulder wants to believe. Actual proof is hard to come by. 

Tad thinks Mulder is the X-Files. 

MULDER SAYS… *ahem*... Mulder says, “I’m afraid that book is closed.” …Which means he’s no longer into UFOs or aliens, too. SO. why did Scully LEAVE.

If that’s behind him, why aren’t they together again???? Mulder didn’t know who Tad O’Malley was a minute or so ago, meaning he’s been outta the conspiracy scene for a bit. That MEANS his departure from Conspiracyville's been long enough to patch-up his obsession and ensuing depression, I guess.

But then... what about Scully??

Because Mulder wants her to come back (already subtly established in each scene), and Scully is concerned for his welfare; but Scully thinks he’s still into UFO conspiracy and hasn’t come back because of it? BUT SHE ISN’T SHOCKED WHEN HE SAYS “I’m afraid that book is closed” MEANING SHE KNOWS HE’S PUT THAT BEHIND HIM... BUT STILL HASN’T RETURNED?

And both of them aren’t acting as if they’ve broken up, anyway, except for a pointed line of dialogue here and a brief reaction there before they yeet back to the status quo.

They’ve left that behind them, Scully says, for better or worse. And Mulder latches onto that better or worse, making a pointed barb at their breakup, but…. There’s no writing glue, just suggestion and inference; and the suggestions themselves don’t add up. 

Here come the bullet points. 

Season 10 posits Mulder became depressed after the aliens didn’t invade in 2012-- that’s reasonable and logical, his nature is depressive when his expectations are subverted or smashed or etc. 

Season 10 also posits Scully left because Mulder became too much to deal with. That’s… not logical, since her nature is to rescue and nurture, even when Mulder’s being an actual boil on her sittin’ cheeks (ala Demons, etc., etc.) 

Season 10 posits Mulder’s hard to get a hold of-- despite being in the same house the FBI helicoptered to in IWTB-- and posits it might be hard for Scully to get a hold of him-- despite the fact both characters easily got in contact, knew it was each other, and even joked about the fact it’s hard to get in contact with Mulder… which means it really isn't. (The script doesn’t catch these discrepancies, of course, pretending Mulder is very hidden away at the same ol' house he'd been discovered at in 2008.) 

Season 10 says Scully doesn’t want UFOs to be part of her life anymore, that it was a stranglehold… yet she came along on a conspiracy gig without question to… what? Be around Mulder? But then, why warm up to the conspiracy guy-- an embodiment of what drove her and her partner apart?

Season 10 posits Mulder chased Scully off with his conspiracy spiraling YET ALSO states he’s put that part of his life-- conspiracies, UFOs, the X-Files-- behind him. Which implies: A. Mulder’s aaaaaaall better now and B. he put that all behind him but Scully never came home and C. Scully shouldn’t know he put that all behind him if that’s what’s keeping her away; but she does know because his declaration doesn’t take her by surprise, which means she’s still driven away and concerned for him for no discernable reason.  

Season 11 posits Scully didn’t leave because Mulder became too much to deal with but because she, too, had issues to deal with. This point wasn't mentioned or hinted at in the episode that introduces their breakup, which makes that line of reasoning a complete rewrite. (Whatever. I’ll judge how well that’s executed when I get there.)

It doesn’t add up. 

Are we surprised. 

Five seconds after this, I had to listen to a back-and-forth between Tad O’Malley and Mulder on conspiracies and Conservatives and alien beliefs and the O’Reilly Factor and….

This seems out of touch, I’m not sorry. 

When this show aired, Conservatives already had their miles-long conspiracy theories. For Mulder to be ignorant of that fact while allegedly knowing exactly who and what Tad believes while also alleging….

More bullet points!

Fox “I’m afraid that book is closed” Mulder has, supposedly, been out of the conspiracy scene. 

Fox “I’m afraid that book is closed” Mulder isn’t aware that not only did 2015 Conservatives believe in aliens-- despite the fact Tad is a watered-down copy-paste of Alex Jones-- but that there were also Conservative believers in the 90s (who were a fringe in their own group, but.) This was Mulder’s expertise; and his eidetic memory isn’t likely to have tossed that info because it was no longer relevant to his life. 

Fox “I’m afraid that book is closed” Mulder has supposedly not been out of the conspiracy scene-- despite saying he is-- because he does know who Tad O’Malley is-- despite not knowing who he was two minutes ago. 

Mulder is assuming that Conservatives “of your credentials” don’t believe in UFOs or “9/11 false-flag conspiracies” despite people from the Left, Center, and Right publicly believing those conspiracies in 2015. 

Fox “I’m afraid that book is closed” Mulder is supposed to be dismantling Tad’s grift; but he (and the writers) sound uneducated and incredibly out-of-touch during this dialogue-- as if all Conservatives were still Bush-era believers. Most were suspicious of the government by this time (they helped elect a man who ran on a “drain the swamp” campaign, after all.) Mulder’s bewilderment here is old and tired, even by 2015 standards. 

This writing is flashy-- long sentences, quick back-and-forths-- but poorly constructed and badly executed. 

This is also the first segment where David Duchovny is peeking through Fox Mulder; where Scully is swinging wildly between absolutely-fine-with-Mulder and we’re-no-longer-together; and where we, the audience, are being force-fed that only one side of the political aisle believes in aliens-- or the Bigger Question or whatever-- on a show that wants to poke at unfounded conspiracy beliefs.

Oh, look! Scully made a Scully-face, so everything’s good now! 

(UuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH--)

Sveta. Aww, I like her--

“You don’t remember me.”

“No, I think I’d remember.”

WHAT WAS THAT. 

Show writers, STOP with the romantic triangulation, it’s NOT. GONNA. HAPPEN. David doesn’t even TRY to make that romantic-ish. Yet you angle on Scully’s face as if she’s supposed to be out-of-the-loop and a tinge jealous. 

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, hoooooooooooooooooooold up. 

Svetta was a dark-haired little girl Mulder interviewed after her first abduction, meaning she’s set up to be another Samantha. 

So…………………. What’s with the murky jealousy issue, CHRIS. You wedged it in solely so Scully would feel jealous over Mulder? Y’know. Like I Want to Believe? 

And I say Chris Carter because he wanted to play the breakup angle:

"We do it in an interesting way," Carter told The Hollywood Reporter. "We put some of the tension back in that was relieved by them being together. It added to the storytelling opportunities. It's something that I came up with; I had been thinking about it. There was always talk of [breaking them up] if we did another movie."

The first shot canon takes right between the eyes:

Scully being “familiar” with the “screen memories” abductees are given was a cool touch… except she’s never been given “screen memories.” The abductees in Jose Chung’s From Outer Space were given screen memories-- she was returned a blank slate. (Even Mulder didn’t have “screen memories” after his abduction.) 

Scully poking Sveta about aliens taking her unborn fetuses seems a tad (heh) strong except all the alien-related pregnancies have been the result of government testing, not alien probes. So. If this scene followed canon's rules, her skepticism would be warranted.

But this skepticism is still odd. 

Two seconds ago, she was making nice to Tad O’Malley in the car, and now she’s leading the questioning for Sveta. The odd icing on top of this odd cake is that Scully left because she didn’t want UFOs to have a stranglehold on her life, yet here she is leading an interview with an abductee.

Sveta: “I have alien DNA, for sure.”

Scully: “Have you had a doctor confirm that?”

Sveta: “No.”

Me, too, Mulder. Me, too. 

Scully doesn’t question the alien DNA bit, so that’s good. 

…I’ll bet everyone forgets she and Mulder have a bit lingering in their systems from the black oil and his brain thingy and residue from when she touched the ship and and and. 

“Something you can test. Dana.” 

What… what was that. 

Honestly, what was that. Whatever mood David was conveying through Mulder, it didn’t match anything from any previous scenes, let alone this one.

Is he poking at Scully? Why? He’s not jealous anymore (if he even was.) The way he says it and her expression in response implies they have a tense back-and-forth going on, but they don’t. THEY DON’T. 

We’re 13 minutes in and I could make another numerical list. But I won’t. Yet.  

Back to not-Obiwan Kenobi and Military Man. 

That alien’s stupid bad-looking. 

Wait. 

That’s not how canon said Roswell unfolded. 

And the first alien shot on Earth was by Deep Throat’s hands-- that was his whole turning-point backstory. 

CURSE YOU, LACK OF A SHOW BIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

(Note from the future: All of that past canon? Fake. Faked. All lies. None of that happened.)

“What have you done??” Not-Obiwan Kenobi yells… and what have they done? 

Back to Scully and Sveta. 

Sveta can move things with her mind-- not all the time-- but at least Scully is listening to her claims without automatically shutting them down. 

But also…

“I can move things. With my mind,” should have IMMEDIATELY had a greater impact on Scully, up-close-and-personal as she was to her son’s abilities. But nope! No reaction! Of course! 

Sveta “You were together but now you’re not” is asking the right questions. I don’t even mind Sveta. I’ll bet this episode’s the last time we see her, though. 

Does she contribute to anything? No. But she’s nice, so. 

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 

Scully diagnosed-- wait, hold up, list time. 

Scully diagnosed Mulder with depression. 

That killed their relationship. 

…THAT killed their relationship? After everything? 

The writers are going to have to explain, in detail, why that killed it. 

Why does canon need to explain? Because we have a history of Scully sticking by Mulder during the worst periods of both their lives-- leaving him would have to require a very, very good reason.

And there is no indication, thus far, that Mulder’s depression drove a humungous wedge between them, forcing her to walk away. In fact, there is no indication a wedge exists between them, AT ALL-- only the odd, inconsistent word or phrase here or there that bears no weight on the plot or their ultimate decisions.

Whenever Scully left in canon, it was because she could no longer help Mulder. Season 11 will rewrite Season 10’s initial explanation but setting that aside: we’re not given any indication that she did try to help him; or that his depression was so deep and so dangerous that it drove her away.

And if it were that deep or that dangerous enough to drive her away, Scully leaving would have been the last and worst possible action she could have taken. If Mulder's mental state was in such a massive nose-dive that she couldn’t handle what he was going through, Scully-- a medical professional-- would have had him hospitalized, even temporarily against his will, because she would know (per Demons or Gethsemane or Amor Fati) that this level of depression always manifested in suicidal tendencies for her partner.

But Mulder, as per the rules laid out in this episode, never went that far in his deterioration. (Note from the future: We'll get to that.)

If he had, Skinner would have been aware of his hospitalization and wouldn’t have asked for his help; Scully would have been aware and wouldn’t have passed on the information; and Scully wouldn’t have called from the hospital with a degree of buoyancy when relaying Skinner's request to Mulder. 

In short: Scully leaving = very big, very drastic measure. Mulder suffering from depression = very big, very bad consequences. Scully's nature and past actions = getting Mulder help, even if he resists at first (i.e. shooting him in the shoulder to save his life.) Mulder and Scully's partnership = unbroken, except through distrust or botched writing.

“And you have a child together.”

Wow, that wasn’t clunky at all. 

SCULLY STICKS SVETA HARD WITH A NEEDLE BECAUSE SVETA MENTIONS WILLIAM, darkly saying "That's enough", SO SVETA WOULD KNOW SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE.

I’m… so disgusted. Like, eck. Urk. Awful. 

Telling Sveta to back off, strongly, would be in-character; USING PAIN TO DO SO is…. So wrong on so many levels. Scully never utilized medicine to inflict pain or injury on her enemies.

Wow, this grossed me out. You know why?

Scully diagnosed Mulder with depression and left. At first glance, that seem like an out-of-character action that the writing can salvage later by this or that means.

BUT THEN, Scully inflicts pain on Sveta for mentioning William, leaving the audience with the impression that she’s vindictive. 

Which then connects the dots between “vindictive” and “left Mulder when he was diagnosed with depression.”

And since we, the audience, haven’t been given a stronger reason for how Mulder’s depression got that bad or why she didn’t help him through it, we’re then left with a sour impression of Scully’s character. 

The writers then try to imply Sveta was spilling out Scully’s personal secrets to prove that her powers were real, but that still doesn’t give Scully the right to abuse her power. Especially because a traumatized woman was trying any method possible to be believed.

And the fact that Sveta is also victim of the government weaponizing science and medicine makes me even angrier at Scully.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, BOY, another helicopter outside the Unremarkable House, my favorite part of IWTB....

Mulder’s never seen… an alien replica vehicle. 

Oh, my mistake: “No. Never. Not like that.” Covering all the bases, I see. Y’know, in case the writers FORGOT MULDER SAW ONE in SEASON 1, EPISODE 2. 

OH, LOOK, he’s got his wonder face back, everything’s aaaaaaaaaaaaall better now!

Running on free energy they’ve had since the 40s, sure Jan. Whatever you say. 

This just feels so old. Like. Tech we haven’t had since the 40S, GUYS, GET IT, BIG MONEY CORPOS KEPT IT FROM US. Yeah, we got it. 

And the flashbacks to Not-Obiwan Kenobi just walking off with an alien corpse because Military Man didn’t… see… value in studying… it. I guess. 

Scully doing “God’s work” giving kids ears because their biology neglected it.

I admit, that’s an intriguing window into her perspective of God vs. science, and how she sees a person’s biology separate from God messing them over or messing them up just because. I dig it.

(Note from the future: This will be used as a plotline club rather than a nuanced discussion of her faith.)

Mulder being the most challenging relationship she’s ever had-- “and the most impossible”-- is a weird line. Because yes, it’s true that their relationship is challenging; but her fervor at impossible is the only time in this episode we see an adversarial tendency, DESPITE My Struggle I trying to drum up moments to prove TENSIONS still LINGER (they don't.) 

It’s IWTB all over again. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 

“Yeah. I got that impression.” Tad says, and Scully’s hurt because she thinks Mulder gave Tad that impression of her. 

So. So. Wait. 

Scully lied when she stated “It’s impossible” because she didn't like Tad poking into her private affairs?

But she sounded truly convinced their relationship was "impossible" while saying it.

So, she was either angry or still confused about her emotions-- which is fine, Scully's not always in-tune with her inner workings-- when Tad replied, "I got that impression."

Which explains why she was so hurt at Mulder's seeming rejection.

Because she thinks Mulder’s behavior led Tad to that conviction.

Which means CC just wants Mulder and Scully to be caught in a miscommunication fic.

Also, why is Tad so sad about this? Were they his OTP, or is he pretending to sympathize to get in Scully’s pants? Because that’d be crummy, Chris, to have her be overly nice to Tad only for him to try to twist that into an opening as the new conspiracy guy on the block. 

On a lighter note, Chris Carter said Mulder and Scully could still get it in their 50s, so there’s that.

HE DID, HE DID SET SCULLY UP TO BE PURSUED BY TAD--

WHAT. WHAT. WHAT WHAT WHAT--

KNOCK IT OFF, CHRIS. 

Poor Sveta. She’s gonna be butchered in this script, isn’t she?

The series is EATING up vast amounts of time with very little scale or grounding. For all I know, a day or a week could have passed. 

It’s so, so badly paced. 

Mulder’s investigating now, without Scully, because he noticed Sveta had a tell during the interview. 

Um. 

Sure, that’s a Mulder thing to do.

Oh, wait. This is the “work of men” realization.   

The dialogue between Mulder’s questions and Sveta’s answers are really disjointed, as if they’re mildly talking past each other-- another aspect of IWTB I couldn’t stand. 

Welp, at least it’s easy to prove they were both written by the same people. 

The second shot-in-the-head for canon: 

“Sveta, who took your babies?” 

“Men.”

“Men? Humans? You saw their faces.” 

Also, Sveta’s babies are referred to as her babies, but William-Jackson isn’t Scully’s baby despite sharing half her DNA but Emily Sim was Scully’s baby despite also only sharing half her DNA.

It’s a mess. 

Well… Mulder doesn’t seem too surprised here that men were involved in her abductions (I mean, he's long since been aware the government was involved from day one, so.) It’d be really stupid if the writing made him surprised about this later, wouldn’t it?

…Wouldn’t it?

Another poorly constructed set of lines:

“I haven’t worked for them [the government] in years.” 

“But you always wondered… if they were lying to you, too.” 

No, he didn’t wonder-- he believed it.

A wonky way to address his old skepticisms, for sure. 

JUST AFTER I NOTED THAT MULDER DIDN’T LOOK SURPRISED AT SVETA'S REVELATION, HE CALLS UP SCULLY AND MAKES A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT BEING A CONSPIRACY OF MEN. 

I knew this was coming, but maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan that was so, so poorly handled.

SCULLY WAS GETTING (sort of) WINED AND DINED BY TAD O’MALLEY??????????????

I HATE IT HERE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHAT IS HAPPENING, WHAT IN THE WORLD AND WHY, HOW COULD YOU BE SO EASILY FLEECED, DANA, THIS ISN’T AN ED JERSE PARALLEL BECAUSE YOU THINK MULDER DOESN’T WANT YOU, THIS IS STUPID, THIS IS THIS IS THIS IS

WHAT. 

I thought Scully had dated Tad O’Malley in the past (sometime after the breakup) but this is worsefarworse. 

SVETA IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING, I’M SO TIRED. 

“Mulder, where are you going?” sounds exactly like Scully, and now I’m mad Gillian didn’t use that voice for the rest of the show (voice recovery aside....)

I KNEW SKINNER WAS BEHIND GETTING THEM BACK. He just calls up Scully to call Mulder up, then just unlocks the old office when Mulder wants to get back in. 110% Skinner thought this would help his buddy Mulder. And he’s not wrong. 

Wait. 

Did Skinner put in more effort to save Mulder from his mental health struggles (per this My Struggle I episode) than Scully??????

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-- my brain is broken. 

The hold on Skinner’s face while he says “Can you tell me what this is about” was way too long. 

Also, don’t try to play coy with me, Skinman. 

Now the camera’s zooming around and losing its “X-Files” feel by being too… modern. 

Skinner telling Mulder to calm down is the only time in canon where I agree with him. Mulder’s just spouting and demanding and not really making clear sense and this is why you don't let Mulder back into his basement without Scully by his side, Skinner-- don’t you remember that lesson?

Skinner telling Mulder to calm down then saying he doesn’t take orders from him only for Mulder to say “Who do you take orders from?”, ugh.

GUYS, THIS WAS RESOLVED IN SEASON. 2. BECAUSE MULDER KNEW MEN WERE BEHIND THE CONSPIRACY SINCE SEASON 1, EPISODE 2; AND SKINNER SINCE SEASON 2, EPISODE ASCENSION.

BECAUSE SKINNER’S ALREADY HAD HIS LOYALTY TESTED AND THIS IS HURTING MY BRAIN MAKE IT END.

I’m not even 25 minutes into this, help. 

“Why do you think I called you? Because I was looking out for you, because I’ve always looked out for you.” Is… is Skinner the only character who’s progressed? That’s exactly what he would do-- he’s acting sensibly, rationally, and in-character... and more mature, more veteran, than his agents.

I know the Revival is supposed to be “Mulder and Scully all grown-up” but none of their actions have been intelligent, measured, or informed by their age or life experience. It’s a farce that I hope future episodes will rectify. 

“A decade of my life--” Mulder rants and kicks his poster like a toddler AND YOU KNEW ALL THIS INFORMATION FROM SEASON 1, MULDER. NONE OF THIS IS NEW. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWHAT IS THIS. 

I can’t imagine how disappointed philes were when they tuned into this episode. Well... I can because of how I feel; but at least I knew, roughly, how bad it would be going in. 

This is worse. 

Skinner: “You’re blaming me for that?”

Mulder: “No, I’m blaming myself. I’m sure they lied to you, too.” 

This isn’t a revelation, chump. 

At least Skinner confirms my theory: “There hasn’t been a day since you’ve left that I haven’t reached for my phone to call you, Mulder, wishing you were still down here.” 

Feral Mulder is touched. 

“Since 9/11--” OH NO, WHY ARE WE GOING THERE “--this country’s taken a big turn and in a very strange direction.”

Guys. Guys. This isn’t… this… what. 

“Now they police us, spy on us, and tell us that makes it safer--” CAN THE WRITERS GET OFF A SOAP BOX FOR FIVE SECONDS. Of course it isn’t safer to be unnecessarily policed or spied on, but the answer isn't just "boo, the government!" What… why… my brain’s melting, I feel it deteriorating. 

This, again, feels so Bush-era. Like, whoever wrote this didn’t update their mentality. 

Also, the camera shots and cuts are weird. Holding too long, zooming out at “pause and take THAT in” moments, focusing on Mulder’s phone while he silently calls up Skinner to prove a point… it’s supremely unsubtle.

Back to Tad, I don’t care. You did this to yourself, Scully, cozying up only to be used as a name drop on his show. Stupid. 

Is Scully gonna be shocked she has alien DNA? She shouldn’t be. 

But then again, Mulder shouldn’t be shocked this has all been a work of men, so. 

She’s expecting-- no, hoping-- for a call from somebody named Mulder. 

Sure, they’re broken up with hard feelings. Sure. Absolutely. 

Is this old man Not-Obiwan Kenobi?  

Of course.

At least Mulder seems old hat at this informant business. 

But of course, he’s “not even close” to putting it all together. 

Stupid. 

WAIT.

The countdown was WRONG-- Mulder states it began, not ended in 2012, meaning he's believed this theory for some time. Meaning... why was he so depressed after 2012? Why are there still depression concerns in 2015?? Seriously, what's with his depression if the 2012 Colonization was allegedly the cause of it but there is no Colonization and the clock's simply been reset????

WHY WAS HE DEPRESSED IF HE RECONFIGURED THE COUNTDOWN. WHAT.

Mulder: "Not by aliens, not with aliens, but by a conspiracy of men--"

“You’re wasting my time.” Tell him, old man Not-Obiwan Kenobi!

“Ten years ago, you came to me--”

Wait, ten years ago? What, 2005? The guy showed up while Mulder was on the run? And Scully never… knew about this?

There were no aliens lighting each other on fire??????????????????? WAIT, I NEVER HEARD THIS INFORMATION. 

THERE WERE NEVER ALIENS, AT ALL???????????????????? Like, AT ALL????? 

The writers are saying that Scully's experience on Ruskin Dam in Season 5 was not two warring alien factions BUT TWO GROUPS OF MEN LIGHTING EACH OTHER ON FIRE, OR GIVING EVERYONE FALSE MEMORIES OF ALIENS LIGHTING EACH OTHER ON FIRE, OR...??????

hONESTLY. 

Let's be real specific for a second: Chris Carter expects us to believe that the ENTIRE mytharc from the original show was ALL faked; that there were no aliens, ZERO, ZILCH; and that CSM and Deep Throat and all the others created elaborate schemes JUST to manipulate MULDER because the aliens weren't a threat from the start????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? DON’T BELIEVE YOUR LYING EYES. THEY WERE ALL MEN IN SUITS.

Like… do you realize how stupid that is? How actually, unfathomably stupid that is? It’s not just “the aliens didn’t invade because of global warming,” no, it’s “they were never a problem to begin with, we just manipulated Mulder into believing they were because… because he’s so important, I GUESS.”

Roswell’s also a smokescreen, of course. 

Y’know how, during the 90s, DD thought The X-Files was a stupid sci-fi show? If he thought each mytharc plot was as bad as this one, no wonder he wanted to bail. 

Oh, by the way, the global warming explanation is part of a theory: the fascist elites will dominate the world and escape from consequences into space, leading the rest of humanity to die by a globally warmed planet. The aliens weren't chased off by global warming because they were never a factor to begin with.

Wow.

I CAUGHT A CONTINUITY ERROR!

Scully shows up at his place in her uniform from yesterday, panicked, like she’d just run from Tad’s side to see what happened despite her saying over a day has passed.

Going to ignore his “What are you doing here, Scully?” because we’ve ping-ponged back to the out-of-character Mulder that the writers use when it’s time to remind everyone he and Scully are broken up. 

It’s IWTB all over again, I’m so tired. 

They’re talking past each other and he’s touching her shoulders now because he needs her to trust him and yadda yadda yadda. 

It’s soooo, sooooo, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo highschool, I’m sorry. This is Riverdale. This is [insert whatever teen series you want to watch.] These are teenagers masquerading as adults, for the angst.

None of this holds up, their emotions shift left and right without provocation, things just happen, and there is no strand of continuity stringing anything together.

Scully trying to talk Mulder down from further pursuit doesn’t make sense because, AGAIN, she’s the one who's always gone back to the files even when he walks away; and every time he’s given up, or wanted to, SHE'S called him back and held him accountable and kept him going. 

This is the Scully from IWTB with no gumption of her own, who denies her leaps forward because of plot, plot, plot. 

Guys, I’ve been religiously dosing myself with caffeine (via chocolate), but my body keeps trying to make me go to sleep because it’s so uninvested. I don't even need sleep.

“This is my life, this is, this is everything I believe in--” HOW. MANY. TIMES. Has he said this before. WHEN HAS THAT LINE EVER WORKED ON SCULLY.

But that's beside the point: "this" was no longer his life after Amor Fati, by his own choice. Closure brought him closure, but he was already spittin' walk-away talk by Requiem, chose to leave in Vienen, and insisted Scully stay gone in Alone. In Season 9, it was Scully who had to beg him into hiding to pursue the Truth or whatever; and it was Scully who brought him the case in IWTB and Scully who relayed Skinner's request and tagged along both times until she got uncomfy and decided never mind, too hard.

Y’know? This claim gets to me because it’s a lie. A lie so blatant that 90s Mulder would have thrown hands over it, a lie so baseless that it erases his declaration in the hallway:

“I don’t know if I want to do this alone. I don’t even know if I can.” And every time Mulder yells his “THIS IS MY LIFE”, he erases that part of his past, the part that willingly left the files or the big Truth or the next chase to save Scully’s life or to keep her by his side. 

Chris Carter said Mulder and Scully were The X-Files post The Truth… but I guess he keeps conveniently forgetting that. More accurately, he keeps making MULDER forget that, in spite of all evidence in Mulder’s history and personality to the contrary. 

It infuriates me. 

“Tad O’Malley is a charming man--” get outta here. 

Now Scully’s been played the fool so she’s going to think Mulder’s being toyed around with by a social media sociopath. You’re an idiot, Scully. 

You’re an idiot, Mulder. 

You expect us to be idiots, writers. 

Here’s some ham-fisted “Fate” dialogue for you, *ahem*:

Scully: “How do you know he’s not playing you, he’s a player!” (You would know, Scully.) 

Mulder: “He’s a Godsend!”

Mulder’s not a believer in God, BUT this is also supposed to refer to the God conversation Scully and Tad had in the hospital, which will inadvertently make Scully ~believe~ again.

“What are you talking about?” I’m with ya there, Scully. I’m with ya, there. 

Scully’s trying to insist Mulder's on a verge of a breakdown, which… UGH. 

This scene implies Mulder hasn’t had a breakdown or a break from reality YET-- Scully spends the episode constantly concerned for his health and begging him, here, to watch what where he's stepping because he’s on the verge of spiraling. 

Which means he hasn't spiraled, because she's afraid of what would happen to him IF he did.

MEANING that there wasn’t an inciting factor that made her leave: no alcoholism, no outbursts, no nothing. He just became depressed, probably withdrawn, and wouldn’t change; so, she left. 

Do you realize what that means, per this episode? It means Scully ANTICIPATED a breakdown and left BEFORE it happened. Then hoped he’d get better before it did. 

Which breaks the established morals of her character. If she had been able to help, she would have stayed. If she hadn’t been able to help, she would have found another way to help him, even if it involved calling in a third party against his will. Instead, she withdrew and hoped he would get better BEFORE he reached a breaking point-- essentially, leaving him to an impending breakdown while hoping and praying against it.

This makes her decision to leave a mark of weak character-- not because she was a woman who left her depressed husband, but because Dana Scully, whose character we amply know, left. It checks none of the boxes she'd have to clear first before choosing to take one step out the door.

All the fic I’ve read to justify their breakup-- and make no mistake, CC wrote her to say “as your friend” intentionally--  or time apart or whathaveyou had Scully reach a breaking point. Because, of course! That's logical. But here, in canon-- in black and white-- that didn’t happen. 

We, the audience, have to create a plausible scenario in our minds to justify the steps she took. Because. it. Is. not. In. canon (as per this episode.) 

Now Scully’s gonna get jealous of Sveta, I’m so done. Riverdale, uuuuuuuuugh. 

Mulder just lets Scully walk away because Scully thinks he wants Sveta but “Sveta is the key to everything” and if Scully wants to misunderstand that she should have more trust in him, I guess, and I NEED A RESPIRATOR.

He just says “Scully” once  and lets her huff off.  

TAD’S BACK, GO AWAY. 

WAIT, TAD STOPS HER BEFORE SHE LEAVES. 

Mulder: “I would have invited you, Scully, but I didn’t think you would come.” 

That’s…

That’s….

Let’s break down this stupidity: 

Scully shows up. 

Mulder had Sveta in the house because he was calling her and O'Malley for a group meeting. 

When Scully becomes nearly hysterical over his safety, he doesn’t reason with her, just spouts like a lunatic. 

When she misreads the Sveta situation and stomps off, he lets her go with a weak, “Scully"--

--because he knew Tad was right behind her and was pulling in to stop her from leaving. 

Because Tad and Sveta were invited but Scully was not. 

And Scully was not invited because.  

Because she might not show up. 

I’m just preaching to the choir at this point, continuing on. 

Scully gave in, just like that. Guess she’s not leaving, anymore. 

She’s so, so… spineless. Has been since Season 9, has been a BIT since Season 8 (though that was at least justified and kept to a bare minimum.) 

I’m just. So sick of passive Scully. 

I HATE THOSE STINGER NOISES NOW. 

It’s always, “You can't let this information out because these men work in secrecy”/”What is it?”/”You’ll see”; then stinger; then we, the audience, are immediately shown what it is.

No suspenseful build-up.

Tad: “Then why are you [Scully] here?”/”Scully: “Mulder, what are you up to?”/Mulder: *knowing look*/stinger/next scene.

KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY.

“Implanting of alien embryos”-- so Sveta’s babies weren’t her babies. 

So Scully’s baby wasn’t her baby. 

But Emily was her baby but William isn’t. 

Sure, Jan. 

In spite of this information, the Revival will paint William as their son until it doesn’t; despite, again, stating from day one that the alien babies are implanted embryos and not biological babies.

So, these two boneheads should have suspected that William wasn’t theirs, anyway. 

Even though William is theirs because the CSM timeline doesn’t add up, which they would have mathed in their heads by the time little William was snuggled in their arms. 

It’s all so stupid. 

Why does this feel so fearmongery about the government? And I’m not going to sit here and say the government should be trusted-- it has a VERY bad history, I'm aware. But this is “my first conspiracy” level of worldbuilding.  

Did the writers think it was clever to set O’Malley up as a bad actor then reveal he was a good actor, modeling him after the notorious Alex Jones only to point and jeer, “HAH, you assumed! He’s actually on Mulder’s side!” 

Because that’s not genius, that’s laziness. 

Scully only now decides to inform everyone Sveta has no evidence of alien DNA? So, what, she was never going to tell them unless Mulder kept being, what, crazy? 

“They got to her” says Mulder about Sveta, but Scully LITERALLY SAID she had no alien DNA, so what was Sveta supposed to believe???????? That Tad O'Malley wasn't using her for as a hoax???

Mulder ran all the way to her house, or ubered then ran, or whatever… and she’s gone, of course. 

Poor Sveta. 

Tad O’Malley’s Truth Site is gone, oh, noooooo. 

Look, I’ll always be against censorship. But this is sending so many odd and mixed signals that it’s creating craaaaaaaaaaaaazy levels of dissonance. 

Mulder wrote “Don’t Give Up” in Scully's car dust…. 

Riverdale. 

Mulder presents the global warming = no aliens theory? 

I’m so tired. 

WAIT, SCULLY BELIEVES MULDER'S THEORY NOW THAT HER BOY TAD’S BEEN PULLED OFF THE NETWORK. 

“We need to find her [Sveta], Mulder,” Scully insists. 

Hold on, prediction time: Scully only changed her mind because this case now involves her-- i.e. only extending empathy to Christian (a boy that reminded her of William) and not to the string of missing, possibly murdered, women in IWTB.

OF COURSE. Her results for Sveta ended up being wrong AND HER OWN GENOME HAS ALIEN DNA IN IT, TOO. 

You selfish, self-centered clone of Dana Scully. 

Scully truly hasn’t recovered since… Season 9, let’s be real, where she told Mulder to leave then spent the whole year crying over his absence. In IWTB, she brought Mulder a case then left him when he wouldn’t stop his pursuit (to SAVE. LIVES.) And in the Revival, she called Mulder and the gang crazy until her own genome showed alien DNA. 

Hate this, hate this, HATE this. 

Also, yeah, she already knew she had alien DNA in the OG series, moving on.

Oh, and now they get a call from Skinner just when Scully says someone has to stop the bad guys. 

OF COURSE. 

Remember the God convo from earlier, guys???? GOD. FATE. SOMETHINGSOMETHINGSOMETHING. 

You had ONE good idea to explore-- how Scully views God vs. the aberrations of biology-- and then just... used it as a convenient club to beat in the “God/Fate means for us to do this” instead. 

“Scully, are you ready for this?”

“I don’t know there’s a choice.” 

Can’t someone PLEASE just explore her faith with nuance? PLEASE? 

Sveta's DEAD???????? I’M SO MAD, I liked her!

YOU FAILED HER, SCULLY. 

YOU FAILED MULDER, SCULLY. 

WHY DOES SCULLY HAVE TO KEEP FAILING PEOPLE???????????? 

Skipping the CSM scene because I don’t care, the END. 

CONCLUSION

How does Scully’s mischaracterization keep reaching new lows? 

How does Mulder become less wise with age? 

How is Skinner the only mentally mature character here?

I’m so tired.

[magewritesstories]

James Potter // I Love You

summary: The three times James Potter tells you he loves you, and the one time you say it back. TW: mentions of fighting, James being James and not taking no for an answer (not completely creepy though), and alcohol consumption note: I love this man, and this aesthetic

The red and orange leaves crunched under your feet. It was the first week back at Hogwarts, and also your first Care Of Magical Creatures class.

 The schoolyards smelled like rain after a long dry season, and it was just warm enough for you to dress in a comfortable white cardigan— made of wool because it’s still winter in England— and your white maxi skirt which had a pink flower print.

You closed your eyes, taking in the peace and quiet. It was 8:45 in the morning, and most classes didn’t start until 9:30, so there was barely another student in sight.

“Hey!”

You instinctively rolled your eyes at the sound of the voice behind you. You pivoted, fully-facing James, and you gave him a tight-lipped smile, “Hello, James.”

The brunet grinned at you, “Hey, [Y/N], so, have you made up your mind yet?” he asked, sheepishly rubbing his neck.

You raise an eyebrow at the question, “I thought I was pretty obvious last night James, remember when you decided to declare your love for me during dinner?” the 13-year-old shrugged, “Well, I just thought you were a bit vague is all.”

“ “When pigs fly” is vague?” You asked incredulously, but before he could reply, “Well, let me be more clear: I, [Y/N] [Y/L/N], will never go out with you.” The boy laughed, “Never say never, darling.” You rolled your eyes, turning back, “Whatever, Potter.”

“But I love you!?”

“Too bad!”

You sighed twirling your pink pen in your hands. Spring of ‘74 had decided to be unbelievably nice. There was a cool breeze ruffling through your hair, as you sat under a large willow tree trying to finish your arithmetics notes.

All your friends still had classes— since they all had a different schedule than you— which meant you were sitting alone, wracking your brain and regretting your decision of picking this over divination

At least Trelawny gave out sympathy P’s...

“[Y/N], my darling, treasure of my heart, how are you on this fine day?” James asked, loudly announcing his presence. You sighed, letting your head fall. Great, first Professor Fahey was giving you a hard time and now this guy.

“Amazing, until you came along.”

James let himself fall down onto the blanket, hand over his heart, “You wound me, my love,” He sighed, dramatically, “Why do you hurt me, when all I do is love you?”

“Leave me alone, James.”

“Never, [Y/N].”

You buried your face in the pages of Arithmetics For Dummies, half out of annoyance, and half as an attempt to hide your blush. But apparently, your ears liked James more than you, and they betrayed.

“Oh. My. Merlin!” James exclaimed, practically jumping up, he softly pulled the book away from your face. He leaned in to get a better look at your face. The two of you were now nose to nose. 

His lips looked so soft, and kissable, maybe—

“I actually made you blush!” He said happily. Welp, there goes that thought. You quickly turned your head. You grabbed your bag, as well as the books and notebooks scattered across the blanket, before standing up and walking away.

“Oh come on, [Y/N] don’t be shy, it’s okay, you like me!”

A cold breeze ran through your sheer navy blue top. It was nearly midnight, and the stars were out on full display. You sighed, looking at the seemingly never-ending shining specks of light.

“Hey, you enjoying yourself?”

You almost didn’t recognize the voice, because of the softness. James sat down next to you, dangling his legs down the pier. You buried your face in your arms, which were wrapped around the knees and pressed against your chest.

“What do you want James?”

“Nothing, you just looked like you could use the company.”

“Why are you so persistent, James?” You asked, turning your head towards the Gryffindor prefect. He shrugged, looking up at the sky “I thought it was obvious— especially after I’ve said it a million times— I love you, [Y/N], I think you’re amazing and cool and way too smart for your own good, and I would be very lucky to date you.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at his cheesiness. He turned his head towards you, offering you a small smile in return. You leaned in, pressing a small kiss to his cheek.

“So take me out on a date.”

“What?”

“You, me, Honeydukes next weekend.”

James stared at you like a deer in headlights. “Really?” He asked, trying to fight the grin forming on his face. You nodded shyly, hoping that the redness of your cheeks wasn’t visible against the stark darkness of the night.

Once it was completely processed, James tackled you onto the ground in a bear hug. “Yes, yes, yes!” He shouted, “I promise you won’t regret it!”

You laughed at the elated expression on his face.

“I’m sure I won’t, Jamie.”

The room was an absolute mess. There were posters all over the wall next to them, and there was a cabinet above his desk filled to the brim with trophies. Three walls were painted a crème-coloured white, with the accent wall a muted red.

You sat on the bed, back pressed against James’s chest, snuggled up under a blanket, despite it being 20 degrees out. You squirmed a little as James attacked your neck and jaw with loving kisses.

You let out a laugh, something that James always argued sounded like angels singing, trying to get out from under his grip. But he just tightened his arms around your waist.

“James— James, let go,” you managed to say in between laughs as he started to tickle you.

“Never, [Y/N],”

After a few minutes, he stopped, letting you catch your breath. By now you’d fully turned towards him. The book you’d been reading long forgotten on his bed. James pulled you closer, placing a kiss on your lips, and then another one.

“James, stop it, you’re mom’s gonna walk in!” You chastised, although you kept complying every time he leaned in for another. He shrugged it off, “Nah, my mom won’t come in,” before you could add to the concern, he added, “And neither will Sirius unless he wants to be traumatised.”

You rolled your eyes that the exaggeration before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. You smiled, looking into the brown eyes that had slowly but surely become a comfort for you over the past year.

You’d fallen in love with James Potter.

You could practically hear the younger version of you let out an offended gasp, with bright red cheeks, of course.

But there was nothing you could do about it now, except for tell him and hope he felt the same.

“I love you,” you said shyly, trying to avoid looking into his eyes. You felt his grip on your waist loosen just a little. His face fell into an expression of shock, before splitting into a grin. “What did you say?” He asked teasingly. You rolled your eyes, face still burning, “You heard me.” James grinned, “I’ve waited three years to hear that.” You rolled your eyes,placing a kiss on his lips.

“I love you, James Potter.”

“I love you, [Y/N] [Y/L/N].”

[martianbugsbunny]

IK in Marvel you're nuts for shipping a gay couple unless it's confirmed without a shadow of a doubt onscreen (which is a horrible precedent I think was set when they said Stucky were just friends because let's be real if all that can add up to welp just friends then how can any ship with less than that possibly be legit, right) bUT all that being said the Lokius energy? great. I'm not going to pat Marvel on the back and say this is enough, but I am going to say that for them setting the same-sex heavily-implied love interest next to the opposite-sex are-we-going-to-pretend-this-never-happened love interest and making it unclear if Loki was speaking to one (or both) of them was a pretty big stride forward. They might be coming out of the era of the big neon no-homo, because the Marvel that's been so homophobic in recent years would never have left that door open for considering, would have made sure Mobius was far offscreen when that happened, would have made Sylvie the only important relationship Loki had in the season, would not have put in all the little moments (I direct you to the Don episode: the hair-fixing by Loki, the way Mobius kinda flirts with him the whole time, the way Loki is drawn to Mobius' timeline more than anyone else's, the way the camera focuses on Mobius so close to when Loki is having his "WHO" epiphany, etc.; not to mention the ways they reach out to each other throughout the season, just a little intimate touch here and there, a hand on an arm, an arm around a waist; the fact that when Loki timeslipped back he looked to where Mobius was first, the way he went to Mobius for advice when he was completely out of options, the way he and Mobius trust each other to use torture boxes and help decide the fate of the multiverse, the way they, together, were a focal point of the season, that they were a unit of two, that they were so loath to be separated). In media as a whole, is this big? Not really. For Marvel specifically, in its own little pocket context? Big step. Immense. I really want to believe maybe they're opening the door for us and we just jam our foot in the gap hard enough they'll get the message that we're a fanbase to be reckoned with and that maybe they do want to spend the effort on us after all. I love Marvel. It was an important part of my childhood and I keep watching it now even though it's kind of a mixed bag. I want to be a part of it. I want the Lokius fanbase and the Sambucky fanbase to win where the Stucky fanbase was shut down. Those little moments were intentional and beautiful and I'm incredibly happy they exist. I want them to lead to something more.

[askthekeiths]

Stag Prince... How do you feel when it's mating season?

- Shy 🐦‍⬛

Ngh, this is really embarrassing to talk about but... I'll do it.

During mating season, I tend to feel a lot more... agressive, and territorial. I get angry at anyone coming into my space, mainly my bedroom.

I also get... really territorial over my partner. I want to be the only one they talk to very much. And I want them to stay in my room where I can protect them. I don't know from what...

But I can also get kind of... pushy, I suppose? I feel the need to always be in control during mating season. Sometimes I get ticked off and raise my voice at others. I feel really bad about it afterwards...

And of course I really... REALLY want to give my partner a baby during mating season. I don't usually prefer it... but I get the urge to take them from behind a lot. Have them bent over my desk or even... face down with their hips up high...

So... I hope that answers your question.

...

Same for me, but He forgot to mention one thing. Neither of us wanna stop fuckin' durin' that time.

All day every day we wanna be inside our partner. Competition can't take 'em if they're too drunk on your cock to remember their own name, right?

Besides. Chances of gettin' 'em knocked up 're better the more ya fuck.

Tags: @mxrmaid-poet @veryinactice @rou-luxe @5mary5 @welp-back-on-my-bs @keithsandwich @lostsnowflake3 @a11-mynames-r-taken @sh0jun

[theerurishipper]

Welcome to me watching the Paris special, this time with commentary! I watched the special and wrote down everything here as I watched it and forgot to post it cause I'm a dumbass. Also, this is long asf, in fact, it's so long that I had to make a Part 2.

Okay here goes!

Ah, the Gabriel version of the theme. This really took me by surprise. It's fire tho.

Straight into the action, I like it.

Max and Markov aren't different people in this?

That's some entrance from Shady and Claw, really ups the stakes. Makes you wonder why Nino tried to fight them with a nerf gun.

Ubiquity is so pretty.

I might be the only one who liked the Gabe scene we got.

Feeling some nostalgia for the candy cane cosplay ngl.

And we get a good scene with Adrien and Plagg. I liked the advice Plagg gave about how not all destruction is bad. Neat.

Some Alya and Marinette. Marinette is going through some tough times and is in need of support, and Tikki takes this opportunity to escape from her and steal macaroons. No hate tho, you do you Tikki.

Though she does react to the people of Paris cheering for Ladybug. That was sweet.

Alya turns into Ubiquity, and then we get... Betterfly.

Betterfly? Seriously? Coulda just gone with Hesperia.

"I'm not sure there's anything to hope for from Ladybug." My poor baby!

Love the look of absolute confusion on Alya's face.

Hesperia's confusion about his evil counterpart is really funny ngl.

SHADYBUG

"There, you can have your boyfriend back~" love the delivery on that line lmao.

But also, CLAW NOIR

Not her just stealing his belt immediately.

Marinette hates Adrien Agreste. This truly is the reverse world.

But also, I love Claw Noir pretending to be his own fan to impress Shadybug.

Claw Noir sure does love using that Cataclysm.

For someone who just woke up to see her friend gone and a hole in the wall, Alya collected herself pretty damn quick. I would be freaking the fuck out in her position. Just another reason she's the best.

RIP Alya's phone. Gabe really did a number on you.

Shadybug makes a butterfly tracker, proving that she ain't no Gabe.

Hesperia is befuddled by our world, Part 2.

It's always gotta be the Eiffel Tower, doesn't it.

Claw Noir's pulling a Chat Blanc?? Hello??

Hesperia (I'm not gonna call him Betterfly) is apparently a gentleman. It's almost disturbing after 5 seasons of Gabe being the worst piece of shit to grace our screens.

I guess no matter the universe and moral alignment, it's Gabriel's fate to get beaten up by teenagers.

Not Tikki loredumping about parallel universes right now lmao

Times like this remind me that Tikki is, for all intents and purposes, a god.

"You'd die before I could ever explain all this to you," is actually a pretty valid (and disturbingly hilarious) justification for not having bothered to bring any of this up before.

The Supreme is someone I'd like to learn more about. I've narrowed the suspects down to either Fu or Su-Han. Watch it be Lila instead if we ever get that info.

I feel like the info about the timers is something we should have gotten way, way earlier. Like, a few seasons ago.

Ladybug's triumphant entrance!

"Whatever, pest." Queen.

I love Claw Noir's staff.

Shadybug took no prisoners at all.

CHAT NOIR

Destruction vibes, and right after that incident too.

Claw Noir is unhinged.

Claw Noir just fucking cataclysmed himself??? Guess Adrien is always gonna be self-destructive in every universe huh?

Welp, looks like Chat Noir is officially re-traumatized.

I want y'all to remember that this boy went through the whole special with a cataclysm wound on his person and did not falter once. Mad respect.

Chat Noir got tossed. Chat Blanc call back number 2.

Obsessed with the way Bryce Papenbrook pronounces "cockroach."

Finally, a villain who actually gets rid of the Lucky Charm. Hawkie, take notes.

"Who the cat are you?"

So Shadybug can create whatever Lucky Charm she wants, huh?

Someone's been listening to the fandom.

Not the time freezing lmfao

I don't like that Gabe is turning Adrien into an angel, even if this is a good version. Anyway, Chat Blanc call back 3.

"Kitty catty" "Later loser!" I love her.

Of course, not all bugs can fly.

He moved out of the way.

I fucking love Claw Noir so much you guys, he's so funny.

Well, he tried. Shadybug's just better than him ig.

Hesperia stores his butterfly in his cane. So it's just our Gabe that tries to keep multiple butterflies, I guess.

I think they should kiss.

So they're doing this in hopes that The Supreme spares them? Interesting, and pretty sad.

They're so scared of the Akuma lmfao

If I was Alya, I'd have given myself away by now. Actually, I wouldn't have had the presence of mind to even hide.

Guess the counterparts are from some dystopian world ruled by The Supreme. It tracks with the look we got at it in the opening.

"In order to get something I wanted." We saw the Peacock Miraculous in the opening too, and also Emilie died. So I guess Adrien is a Sentimonster in the other reality too. Damn it.

I guess this Gabe realized his mistake instead of descending into madness like ours.

She just broke Marinette's box like it was nothing. So much for that.

Claw Noir lounges around playing with dolls and mocks Shadybug for being lazy while she does all the work and he lazes around. Have I mentioned yet that I love him?

Also I am glad they stayed true to Adrien's character and had him play with dolls.

The whole part about Chat Noir... be still my Ladynoir heart.

Love how they incorporated the webisodes into this. About time those had relevance.

Shadybug really "hates" Claw Noir.

Marinette's having doubts, my poor baby girl.

Shadybug and Claw Noir have power, but not their strength. That's a really good line.

She's reading the diary and crying... baby.

This is such a touching scene. I don't say that lightly, but it really is.

SHE FOUND THE WISH

Marinette really wrote down every single world ending secret in this one poorly protected diary huh.

She literally took him down in 2 seconds. Bruh.

IDENTITY REVEAL! THIS IS NOT A DRILL, I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Shadybug managed to achieve in 2 seconds what Marinette and Adrien have not achieved after 5 seasons of Love Square drama which I admittedly enjoy but that's not the point.

Those strange... marks? Cracks? Scars?

Blots off... I'm dying y'all.

Reverse Love Square? Hello??? HELLO???

She literally just beat his ass, tied him up and took his Miraculous and this is his reaction once he realizes who she is.

He's down so bad.

They should have played Careless Whisper here.

CUTIE PIE, MY SON

The Supreme is such a fucking asshole, he gagged the Kwamis.

Emonette wants our Marinette's life? She doesn't know the half of what she's getting into.

The Supreme got to the wish somehow? What the fuck?

"Reality is The Supreme." I don't know who this guy is, but he is DELULU.

This shot... masterfully done. My poor baby girl.

These kids are not okay. My poor sweet babies.

Daggers out. Seriously, stop it, you two.

He's trying to comfort her. They're just... I'm in pain. I'm so sad for them y'all.

Gabe in his prototype Monarch outfit.

Good thing (for him at least) he had the Ox, or else this would be his second cataclysm of the day.

Ladybug and Chat Noir are back in action, baby.

I'm sorry, I would not be able to say Betterfly unironically without bursting into laughter.

AFTER 5 SEASONS, WE FINALLY GET TO SEE CHAT NOIR'S NIGHT VISION AGAIN

Not that they needed it lmao

Alya coming in clutch with the recording. Queen.

LADYNOIR LADYNOIR LADYNOIR

It's so so so nice to see Ladynoir on screen again after Season 5 killed it.

Hit the word limit, so continued here.

[minjoonapio]

🎐 Wind Breaker Chapter 160: Melting Snow

💭THOUGHTS [ ⚠️ SPOILERS ⚠️ ]

🧵Versions: Twitter/X 📖Where to read the manga: Kodansha | Other 📺Watch Season 1 now (S2 in 04.2025!): Crunchyroll, Netflix

Sorry for posting this late here in tumblr. Life happened. ✌🏻

Such a whirlwind in the first hours after this chapter released. I expected a TogaSaku but instead we got a HiraSako! We all freaked out. This is such a good closure…and a peek of what’s to come for all of them.

Yes we’re eating good! More wholesome loaves of bread please, Nii sensei! 🍞

It starts where we left off with our cutie patootie Choji 🥹 the cute aggression is real whenever he’s on the page. He’s enjoying himself, chowing down on good food and surrounded with good people. 💚

Aaand knew it. Of course Sakura went there to thank them. So they saw his beat up face! Sakura is just squirming from all the attention. He’s not used to it. Oh soft baby Sakura. You are loved and adored.

I’m so happy Nii sensei showed this!! I talked about in twitter how Choji is actually trying out fresh Red Bean bread that Umemiya gave him the last time they saw each other. Choji not only get to try it again…he bought more food for souvenirs!! Oh my fragile heart!!

If you read the small text, he even told the employees about how he knew about their bakery thanks to Ume-chan. asdfghjkl~ He also told them he’ll drop by again next time 😭

This chapter is really making my heart full because look at how Choji is twirling about~! He's acting more like his age.

But more than that, THIS is one of the best things that came out of the Noroshi fight. Three gang leaders, who were former enemies, now agreeing to be friends! I am hyped up with Nirei on this one. We are witnessing a historic moment! And this is giving us a peek of what will happen in the future chapters.

Oh, Sakura. You care so much for your new home and took one big step that not only helped your found family but caused a great thing to happen.

The way it dawned on Sakura. And the way Tsubaki is looking at his precious kouhai proudly. 🥲

And the wholesomeness continues~ Tsubaki was hyping Choji up; he talked about what Mizuki and Momose said. They were praising Choji’s strength, and I find their reactions adorable & hilarious. They're like “oh hell nah im not gonna fight him”

Then Choji shoots an arrow of "Hehe I'm doing this for my friend Ume-chan!" right to our hearts! Arghh I wanna squeeze his baby face!! (≧∀≦)

And then here's Togame holding his “That’s my buddy Sakura!” face again (*´∇｀*)

Sakura trying to divert the unwanted attention away from him again after by asking about their other gang members.

The way I laughed when Suo emphasized “HE” meaning Numa and Togame (and Nirei) just knows. Poor guy. 😅

Oh dear oh dear. We didn’t expect this chapter to become a HiraSako chapter!! And it is giving too much “c’mon! Do it! Go talk to your ex” vibe (and y'all know this is not the first time this happened)

Togame and Choji always pushing the agenda. How supportive.

I love how level-headed Kaji is when it comes to this.

And I’m glad he’s not a character who would be jealous over it. The three know each other well enough and Kaji never sees it as a competition to be the best kouhai or what not. He wouldn’t reach out to Sako back then if he did.

Gahh how adorable! Hiragi’s shook of how polite Sako is towards him. Then having a mini internal crisis.

Sako sees that and finds it hilarious. The embarrassing yet joyous tune carefully breaks the ice between them.

Sako's face in that last panel just makes me think he finds his past self ridiculous now.

Despite how their fight felt so long ago, I'm so glad we’re seeing this talk. Sako wanted so badly for Hiragi to be the one telling him he needs him but never got it. He could’ve just followed him anyway but I guess he thought Hiragi’s words meant he doesn’t need him.

He wanted to prove how wrong Hiragi was by joining Shishitoren and become strong enough to beat him one day. Welp. Since their fight, Sako must’ve wanted to hit himself for being such an idiot.

i feel like Inugami was kinda inspired by what happened in the Shishitoren fight that he was able to face his senpai. And Sako got to see the “what ifs” if he did the same thing back then to Hiragi. If he just denies what Hiragi told him and said "It doesn't matter. I will continue to follow you"

No wonder Inugami’s been sticking with Sako since then. The fact he knows his senpais's past tells how close they are.

I really wondered what went down with Shishitoren after their fight with Bofurin. As expected, there were scuffles within the group here & there. Surely, some left. Choji & Togame have to be strong enough to face such hurdles after what they’ve done. But look at them now.

Because they cared so much for their group and have each other to help through those trying times that they were able to reform Shishitoren the way it is now. What a domino effect.

Sako became inspired himself to face his own mistakes as well. And it led to this.

That “Aaaah finally” panel…I really felt that. Relief to finally apologize after holding unto bad feelings for so long. Relief to finally mend their friendship. I freakin' teared up. This manga argh!

And of course they were interrupted! Ah, I wanted to hear what Hiragi has to say to Sako, but I think we get the idea, judging by those soft eyes gazing at his kouhai.

Looking at the panel wit both Sako's Shishitoren friends and Hiragi's Bofurin kouhais, it's another glimpse of what we will see more in the future. A unity and camaraderie of different gangs.

Thank you for reading! 💚

Next chapter will release on Kodansha this coming Tuesday 🎐

🧵Versions: Twitter/X 📖Where to read the manga: Kodansha | Other 📺Watch Season 1 now (S2 in 04.2025!): Crunchyroll, Netflix

[suffarustuffaru]

Your brother is your god (a joshua juukulius poem)

You are who you cling to; god

is in the pristine refinement of the knight

where your only claim to family is crafting him, detail by painstaking detail, until he’s a proper heirloom

to make up for the fresh apples you cannot bite,

to make up for your stain on the face of your brother,

you are a forgettable person attached to an unforgettable name.

Did you think that because you were born into this that you’re deserving of that name?

The only existing god

is in the form of your finest accomplishment; elder brother

is the picture perfect knight,

a dog who serves well and does not bite

at the hand feeding him and carving him into an heirloom

fit to join every heirloom

that came before you. Him. Your hands shake as you cough up exertion blood and your name

back into your handkerchief, bite

down the longing for a god

who could make you so good that you have no need for a knight

always leaving you behind for lofty ideals. Your brother

is your hero, your brother

casts a light so stark that all you can do is cower in the darkness that is his heirloom,

his right to the path of a knight

that should have been yours, as your name

decreed, but you were born frail and so your brother picked up your burden for you. Your brother is your god

so this is why apples taste sweet when he picks them for you, but just as bitter when you bite

into the rottenness of being only his brother. You bite

into your brother

like that could make you a god:

Something worth saving, something sword-heirloom

sharp in its acceptable sort of way, a perfect portrait paired with that name

heavy on your shoulders like the armor of a knight.

And yet your brother is the greatest knight

because out of the two of you, who’s the one who saved the family from your bite

marks? You must never forget that as much as you made him, he’s the one carrying the crown of that name,

the one who saved you from being the sad, useless heir, so instead you are the sad, useless second brother

who is only there to stay behind to prop up the true heirloom

because there is no god

without you, and thus your knight is your apple is your brother

is your bite scar is your bed grave is your heirloom

and when the pearly floodgates make way—if you have no name, what is a dog to a god?

—

welp, hello!! wrote this for @deafknell ‘s rezero season 3 part 1 fanweek for the day 1 prompt: Memories / Rivalry / “—Shut up and put on your war face.” (this poem also couldve fit for the Names prompt later in the week but shhh.) joshua is a character ive really come to love especially the more i found out about his story and especially with having people like deafknell as beloved mutuals who enjoy him a lot and portray him beautifully!! so i hope ive done him justice his story hurts my heart 🙏🙏

also if youre curious—this is probably so juukulius coded of me to say this wjdnd—but this poem is a sestina poem which has a really unique structure of repeating six words (though i did repeat a few others but yes i stuck closely to the sestina structure) in certain places!! here i used god, knight, heirloom, bite, brother, and name!! really recommend googling about sestina poems if youre curious!! ive really grown to be fond of poetry as well. <3

[trippinsorrows]

can we please get that RoSo cooking short?🥰♥️

authors note: welp. this ended up much longer, as i tried to fill in the gaps. lmao

words: 1.2k // warnings: none

-------

Roman’s life has always consisted of long days, restless nights, and a never ending to-do list. Wash, rinse and repeat sort of vibe. He’s gotten used to it though. Used to this normalcy that’s perhaps objectively unhealthy but just the usual for him.

Outside of a few outliers. Today being one of them. He’s home earlier than typical. Much earlier. So much so that the sun is still out and the stars don’t blanket the night sky just yet.

So much so that walking into the house he finds his newly appointed wife maneuvering around the kitchen, humming to herself, clearly trying to multitask. She looks like she’s rushing, and it’s almost confirmed as such when she glances over at the digital clock on the microwave and bites down on her bottom lip.

Roman briefly considers going upstairs, not even bothering to interrupt her. She’s jumpy and sure to be scared by his presence. But, he also considers the fact that she’s clearly anxious about finishing dinner, most likely because she wants it done by the time he usually arrives home.

Of course, that’s a moot point, as he’s already present.

It’s why he settles on just biting the bullet and making his presence known. He walks toward the kitchen, steps away from the large granite island when she turns around and jumps back, yelping, while dropping the, thankfully, empty pot on the ground.

Roman sighs to himself. This girl is so damn jumpy. 

Solana is immediately apologizing, rushing to pick the pot up, observing the floor to make sure it didn’t scuff. Standing back up, she says it again, “I’m—I’m sorry.”

“Solana, it was an accident.” It feels a bit strange coming out of his mouth, but Roman almost feels a sense of duty to reassure her of no harm, no foul.

His assurance doesn’t wipe that nervous look off her face. “It’s—the food—it’s not ready,” there’s a tremble to her voice, a thick layer of fear accompanying the stumbling continuation. “I’m sorry—I didn’t know you’d be home this—I’ll hurry up.”

“Solana.” He says it again, stretching the vowels. “It’s fine.” Instead of the typical irritation coating his voice, there’s an almost…..gentleness? Mostly because it’s hard for Roman to ignore the fact that this girl is literally trembling before him. The combination of dropping the pot and dinner not being ready clearly causing her great distress. 

Fear, almost.

Fear of his reaction. 

She’s scared.

It’s gotta be why he finds himself asking, “do you need help?”

She looks genuinely surprised by this before shaking her head. “N–no, that’s okay. I—” The pot whistling on the stove calls her attention, forcing her to place the dropped pot back in the sink. Scrambling over to the almost overflowing pot, he waits for her to handle that and turn back to him.

“What do you need me to do?”

Her frown deepens. Confusion painting her pretty face. Even with the scar, she’s easily one of the most beautiful women he’s ever laid eyes on. “Why—why would you help me?” She shakes her head. “I—should do this on my ow—”

“Because you need help.” Plain and simple. There’s nothing more to it. He’s also easily annoyed with all the scurrying around like her head’s been chopped off. It’s annoying for him to watch. Roman rounds the island, noticing how she subtly steps back. He stops, sighing.

Just what the hell did they do to you?

“What do you need?” Again, he’s repeating himself, the irritation rising. Something he tries, for whatever reason, to hide from her. 

She looks around, almost confused, before gesturing to the other counter that has a chopping board and sizable bowl of green produce. “Can—can you help me chop the peppers?”

He follows the direction to where she’s pointing, shrugging, “sure.” Roman moves over to the designated spot, stopping when she calls for him to wait. He watches how she adds seasoning to whatever’s boiling in the pot before moving back by him, obviously trying to keep some distance. 

“Ummm….” She nervously reaches across from him to take the bowl. “You can…..if you could…..”

“Solana.” This girl and all her damn stammering. Jesus. “Just tell me what you need.” It’s truly that simple, or maybe it isn’t, because she’s still looking at him like she’s confused as to why he’s helping her and not yelling at her for dinner still not being ready.

Or worse.

She takes a breath and nods, as if trying to reassure herself. Reaching for one of the items, she pulls it out and starts peeling the charred skin. “I just….need you to peel and remove the stem and seeds from the peppers. I can chop.” She then adds with a shrug, “I can probably do it faster.” 

At the same moment Roman chuckles and smiles, she slaps her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

“You’re not wrong. I don’t cook.” At all. Before her, he had meals delivered to him weekly. Sometimes daily. Pre-prepared by a chef that was decent, good even, but nothing compared to the woman next to him. 

“At all?” She asks, Roman starting the task assigned.

“Not my thing.” He hands her the first pepper, briefly amazed by how easily and quickly she dices it up. “Damn.”

She looks down, her hair covering her face, no doubt hiding a small smile he wouldn’t mind seeing. She’s even prettier when she smiles. “I—I cook a lot.”

“Your mom taught you, right?” She nods, the two falling into an easy flow. He peels. She chops. 

“It was our thing….” Roman recognizes the slight shift in her voice. Sadness. He understands more than she could ever know. 

Clearing his throat, he offers her a distraction, asking, “what is this you’re making anyway?”

“Frijoles y Chorizo.”

“What?”

Her lips turn up into a deep smile. Amused. “Frijoles y Chorizo.” She says it slower this time, which he tries to repeat, for some reason still not landing it. Strange for him considering him being a polyglot and typically good with picking up different languages. She giggles. “Close enough.” She clears her throat, asking, “umm—how—how was your day?”

Roman’s taken back by that. He can’t recall the last time he was asked such a thing. Or asked in such a genuine manner. “Busy.”

It’s probably the wrong thing to say because she turns to him, that worried expression returning, “I’m sorry, you’re—”

“Solana, if I couldn’t, I wouldn’t have offered.” And that’s the truth. He’s never been one to do anything he didn’t want to do. Including this. She seems slightly relieved, which makes him also feel it, too. “How was your day?” Another thing that rolls out without much thought. 

Solana is also partially taken back, that smile returning. “G–good. I–I got to read to the kids today.” His perplexed expression leads to her following up with clarification. “I–I do a reading club with kids once a week.”

He can see that. Make sense for her. “How long have you done it?”

“Years,” she answers with a soft sigh. Still smiling with a sense of pride. “They’re really great.”

He’s less focused on the task at hand and more at the almost serene look on her face. “You like kids?”

It might be the quickest she’s ever answered one of his questions. “I love kids.” An answer that also makes sense but….something else as well. Something he doesn’t really understand. “Do y—”

She’s cut off by the pot whistling again, effectively ending a conversation he’s not sure he’d want to have right now.

Because he’s certain she wouldn’t have liked his answer. 

[yaut-jaknowit]

Really just all around interested in the background to some of your characters. How Vic and Uihoy came to know each other or a story of how they got together. Which one of those dummies confessed first, etc.

Chance of Fate

Pairing: Uihoy (Male Yautja) x Vic'tao (Male Yautja)

Warnings: racism (BUT it works out in the end)

Word Count: 2070

Summary: These two met longer before meeting you. Their meeting themselves was really rough around the edges. Who doesn't like an enemies to lovers trope.

Author Note: I just realized I wrote this slightly like enemies to lovers... that's my favorite trope too. Welp, dug my grave now I'm gonna lay in it.

Masterlist

Ao3

These two are dumbasses. I assure you. It was dumb luck their lives were intertwined with each other.

First off, there are two major differences between Yautjas (in my world). Those home world born and those born off world (mostly on motherships). I believe there’s a little bit of racism between these groups. Each believing they are better than the other.

I’ll let the story below reveal who is who.

As for Uihoy, he wasn’t always our sweet baby boy. Maybe his older years have softened his hide and heart to Vic’tao and you. Vic’tao… hasn’t changed much. Dynamic and static characters.

Hate to say it, but Uihoy acts a tad bit racist in this. BUT we all know he loves Vic’tao in the end. He overcomes these thoughts he was raised with after learning more about Vic’tao.

In the bustling crowd, Uihoy stalked his way through. Smaller than the average male, he’s able to slip between others to make his way through. No pays him any mind. In this city, he wasn’t known for being a big shot back in his home village. Here, he was just a random male, surfing the crowd.

Not that he minded. Uihoy wasn’t going to be showboating in the city of Kov. Mating season was far out. All he needed was a few items of interest before taking his ship back home.

A city like this had his scales itching. Far too many people, too many smells that forced a headache to rouse behind his eyes. It wasn’t a place he wanted to be but a necessary evil for him. Unfortunately. He needed fabrics from the clans of the coast. Kov was the closest city to sell them, being one of the larger cities on Yautja Prime.

As a male at seven hundred years old and higher status within his clan, his coin pouch was heavy on his side. His shorter, yet bulky build was able to move along the crowds with ease. He came to a halt before a known vendor he’s dealt with a few times before.

Ke’nt, a lanky, tall Yautja with light blue accented with white stood in his mediocre booth. Before Ke’nt stood an obvious young blood arguing with the vendor. Uihoy couldn’t help the roll of his bright eyes at the display.

Young bloods. They always thought they were the shit until someone came in and shoved their head into the pile of stink they created. The purple Yautja has done it countless times. A sight he loved to create.

The yellow and blue, unnamed male slammed his fist down on the table keeping the two from tearing into each other’s throats. “This price for these damned fabrics isn’t what you told me!” he shouted at Ke’nt, fury flashing in yellow irises. “You cannot change them in the time it takes me to grab the coins.”

Uihoy deals with Ke’nt occasionally. What the yellow Yautja accused Ke’nt of was an action he’s been known to do with Uihoy. After time, Uihoy has learned how to ensure this middle aged Yautja knows his place with a nearing elder. Violence is always the answer. Words are never enough.

The shoes Uihoy wears make next to no noise as he struts over to the arguing pair and saddling up next to the unnamed Yautja. Before either of them could vaguely tell him to either bug off or just simply ignore him, Uihoy released a bellow of his dominance. Both younger Yautjas paused their dealings and snapped their heads to find Uihoy at the table.

His piercing eyes were locked onto the older Yautja of the two. “Ke’nt,” Uihoy growled the name in a low tone. “Are you pulling the tactic that has failed on me?” The purple Yautja had his chin level, not showing off his throat nor bowing his head while staring Ke’nt with fire.

Said Yautja grunted his displeasure and stepped back from the table. His mainly white arms spread out. “Come on, Uihoy. You are ruining the fun. A male’s gotta make a living,” Ke’nt explained his reasonings while attempting to calm the situation. Uihoy was a male he loved the money but hated how smart he was. Nothing passed those sharp orange eyes of his. Damn him!

Despite the height difference, Uihoy glared from underneath his brows at the taller male. The other Yautja at his side stayed silent for the time being. But the shifting of his impatient body was growing tiresome. Young bloods.

“Your tricks have failed in the past. I can always find another for fabrics. I come here for mere convenience but I’m not below finding another vendor for what I need.” Uihoy ensured his words were stern, letting Ke’nt he wasn’t fooling around with his tomfoolery. “Now, finish up the deal with original price with him.” Uihoy jerked his head to the taller Yautja next to him. “Then, you know what I require.”

Next to Uihoy, the yellow and blue male bristled. He didn’t need help. He could’ve handle this all by himself! From the corner of his bright yellow eyes, he glowered at this short… elder. Wait, not yet. Close though.

“I can handle this myself,” the young blood snarled to Uihoy. The latter just tweaked a brow up before snorting his annoyance. His clanmates wondered why he never offered to train the unblooded or newly bloodeds. The attitude they snarked at him was top of the list.

A huff surpassed Uihoy’s mandibles. But, Uihoy never paid the young Yautja any mind. His gaze was kept on the blue Yautja before him, a glare making the process speed up.

Another long moment passed before the exchange for currency and fabrics had completed. Now, it was Uihoy’s turn. Said male passed over the same amount of credits he’s paid for in the past. Ke’nt never made a peep about any inflation of prices. He’s learned his lesson over the years.

When a few hundred Nok’s away from the vendor’s booth, Uihoy inspected the fabric in his hand… only to realize this was from the coast. The short, thick whiskers along his jaw bristled as his body tensed.

On the verge of about-facing and marching back to Ke’nt, his keen eyes spot through the crowd a form he saw less than a few moments before. In lanky, well built arms held the coastal fabric he was meant to buy. Great, he thought to himself. Uihoy began his path, picking up the young blood’s scent, and beginning an impromptu hunt. The day becoming longer than he’s wanting.

.

Like the hunter he’s grown up to be, Uihoy found his way through nearly the entire city of Kov. The young blood’s scent bringing him to the public transport off world. His brows raised. Where was he going? But, Uihoy had to stop him before he left or else he’ll never get the fabrics he paid for.

Through shortcuts and alleys, Uihoy ended up towards the end of the transport station. These were for transports back to motherships. An off world born? He’s come across them in passing times but to speak with one… He huffed and hurried his pace before his items were lost among the many motherships that circulate across the universe.

The same flash of yellow had him jogging, dodging bodies. Before the young blood had a chance to slip onto the ship, Uihoy slapped a hand on his shoulder and yanked him back down the ramp. The yellow male snarled and reacted within a fair time. There was always room for improvement.

Claws swiped along the barrel chest of Uihoy. A firm grip encased the offending wrist and prevented said attack. Uihoy kept pushing until this Yautja was trapped to the landing gear of the ship. Chest to chest, swapping body heat. Uihoy forced to look up at the height advantage Yautja snarled at him. “You have something of mine,” he rumbled at the young blood. His hands tightened when he attempted to squirm his way free. Uihoy wasn’t letting him go. Not until he had his fabrics.

Trapped against the stronger male, he grunted while attempting to make his escape. It was futile. With a huff, the young blood settled down and glowered at the male he recognizes. He’s the one who he saw only moments before leaving Yautja Prime; at least, tried to. “What are you pauk-de talking about?” he snarked and raised his upper mandibles.

Uihoy’s hands increased their strength in retaliation for respect from this young blood. His own mandibles twitching as he did his best not to challenge this little gnat and shove his face into the ground.

A jerk of Uihoy’s head led the young blood to glance at the fabric in his hands. This wasn’t what he paid for. Something he couldn’t even afford! “That. That is what I’m talking about,” Uihoy snapped.

Similar to a Xy and a full moon, the trapped male peered down at Uihoy with wide eyes. The latter mentioned Yautja gave a deadpanned expression to him before letting his hands fall away. Uihoy stepped backwards to offer a respectful space between them.

In one hand, Uihoy offered what he had been given back to the yellow Yautja. The other limb held out a free palm, awaiting the item he had paid for. “Give.”

The young blood grunted and placed the silky fabric into Uihoy’s waiting palm. He grabbed what he emptied his coin pouch for and stared down the male before him. “Must have been a mixup,” he tried to ease the conflict after the problem had been solved.

A fight was the last he wanted to deal with. He didn’t want to nurse unnecessary wounds on the ride back to his mothership.

Uihoy snorted and rolled his bright orange eyes at the small comment. “Of course, an off world born wouldn’t have noticed,” he retorted, adding bit into his words.

From the depths of his chest, the young blood snarled and lowered his head, body drawn taunt. “Say that again. I’ll show you how much better we off world borns are compared to the same old, same old borns of this planet.” Now, the fight became necessary.

At his sides, Uihoy’s hands twitched, ready for the fight. “You have no danger while living freely on those ships. We have to fight to survive out in the wilds of our home planet. You have no planet to call home,” Uihoy growled and puffed up his chest.

Despite his smaller size yet bulky build, Uihoy has proven time and time again he’s capable to hold off his own against someone either larger in height or build.

As the offending Yautja goes to open his mouth, the ship’s captain announces its last call. It was the last one for the cycle. He couldn’t miss it.

Standing back up straight, the young blood flexed the muscles in his legs to launch himself back onto the ramp he was shoved off of. Uihoy followed his every move the whole time. The other male pointed at finger down at him. “Remember this face and name: Vic’tao of Loloor Mothership. I can’t wait to wipe my feet on you.” This ‘Vic’tao’ entered the ship, on the safety of a difference territory.

If Vic’tao hadn’t been so lucky, Uihoy would’ve dragged the male back out and teach him a harsh lesson. He’d rather not deal with the authorities if he fought on mothership grounds. Different rules and laws.

He snorted to himself before turning on his heels and following a path back to the private docks he parked his ship at. It was an event he would forget… but the name he would look up once back home in Qav’f. Only to satisfy his curiosity.

These two would keep meeting in passing times before their anger melted. It seems harsh but these are Yautjas we are talking about.

Once the two forgave their rage for another, the two decided to hunt together. When hunt brothers grow close… things could get messy. Feelings are spilt, miscommunication may happen, untruthful words are said but in the end, they figure it out.

During a night of boiling anger that two hurricanes fed into each other, Vic’tao spat out his confession to Uihoy, surprising himself….

Uihoy had known for a long time. Before even Vic’tao had known for himself.

It was Uihoy who fell first but Vic’tao fell the hardest.