#WAS GETTING HIT IN THE HEAD
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they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes
#book 24#the conversation between the gods at the beginning there is just this#greatest hits#all i say is vicious war crimes in a vague way#and you all start frothing at the mouth like rabid dogs#a lot of yall get the memo with the blorbo tags but also. seeing quite a few strange pulls#not exactly war crimes but Ok#sometimes normal vicious crimes can just be normal vicious crimes ok guys#can yall stop tagging this as israel u guys r fucking weird….#if u see this and think it is a joke about actual fucking horrific war crimes and ethnic cleansing. u may be fucked up in the head#please be normal#will people stop commenting on this please. none of yall r funny#legendary warrior
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Bruce gets knocked over the head with a lead pipe and without even looking at eachother dick and Tim start circling around him making tweeting noises
Meanwhile bruce wishes the hit actually knocked him out so he didn’t have to witness his kids acting like this
#dick grayson#Nightwing#Tim Drake#Bruce Wayne#Red Robin#Batman#dc#if you don’t get it#it’s a joke based on that moment in cartoons where a character gets hit in the head and “sees stars”#a lot of the time there’s birds flying around in circles over the characters head too#to signify that their head is spinning and that they’re dizzy/disoriented#usually swatted away by the newly angered character
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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So familiar
#pmd#pokemon mystery dungeon#psmd#pokemon super mystery dungeon#riolu#mew pokemon#pokemon#pkmnart#artists on tumblr#rinko riolu#kyo piplup#the blue buddies#Teeter art#2024#just when i thought i was getting over psmd. feels hit again#takes place moments before they're bonked in the head btw.
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it's genuinely SUCH a choice for vex to be like ok hear me out. what if we keep having emotionally charged conversations where we confess our deepest fears and longings and also pork each other about it...but ok here's the thing, here's the thing: we CALL IT friends with benefits so no one really gets attached enough to be hurt! it's foolproof! and percy's like that doesn't sound right but i don't know enough about healthy relationships to dispute it
#tlovm#tlovm spoilers#perc'ahlia#vex'ahlia#like i'm never gonna rock with ACTUAL fwb percahlia like i see in some fanfics but this is vex being a grade A dumbass so it's funny#she's gonna get hit over the head with a 2x4 courtesy of anna 'walking cringe compilation' ripley#which like that's just embarrassing. due to the cringe compilation#-ira wendigoth voice- girl.
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A Patreon request for Gaster and Alphys hanging out, haha. Don't stand under the waterfall, Gaster!
[index]
#undertale#handplates#gaster#alphys#z art#get wrecked#i had trouble thinking of something easily recognizable that could hit him and also not knock his head off#briefly considered a printer but i think that'd be too heavy#faceplants right into the water#those glasses fall in there and you're never seeing them again
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hitting it raw is fun and sexy and all but not more than clawing at a boy and you both being so desperate for each other and barely getting out that you guys should use condoms and watching him trip over all your shed clothes on the floor and dig through nightstand drawers and bathroom cabinets like a madman on a wild goose hunt and cheer when he finally finds them and run back to you with so much excitement and watching his brain re-freeze when he realizes he’s about to fuck you
#i said boy but i wrote this with yuuta/yuuji in mind shocker shocker i know i know i know pls hold ur surprise and applause until the end#this is also satoru#he's speed running to the bathroom and ur like satoru.... there r some in the night stand and he hits his head on the door way SPRINTING#back into the bedroom#no poise no grace and then he has the audacity to try and act smooth after like boy if u dont put the condom on and get over here 🙄#💌
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Steve and Eddie get a little studio apartment in the queer section of the city, by virtue of Steve getting hired as the building’s handyman. Half the residents are drag queens and there are RULES.
They can flirt with Steve all day long. Eddie (literally) will hiss and spit like a jealous cat, all red faced and pouting, which is INCREDIBLY entertaining. While the flirting is harmless, Steve’s pleased smile about how possessive Eddie is over him can melt the most cynical old queen’s heart. (They all think a lil “you’re welcome, Steve” for getting Eddie all riled up ever night.)
However, anyone who flirts with Eddie better be prepared. Steve’s glare is cold and cutting, and the silence after is worse. And if you piss him off enough, Steve is all for revenge. Better hope your toilet does clog or your sink keeps draining. Worst case is he’ll MAKE issues for you, until you make it up to him. And the only way to do that is to go support Eddie’s underground metal band and spend your hard earned money on his merch. (Eddie thinks Steve being a stone cold jealous bitch is hot.)
#steddie#shush mal#Steve’s a good sport 98% of the time tho#just don’t hit on his boy#Steve’s also the only one they can get into drag#Eddie refuses bcs he’s wrapped up in his big tough metal head persona still#they’ll get him eventually#my steddies
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"tenderly......"
#malevolent podcast#could NOT get this audio out of my head thank you mr guthrie#also sorry mr guthrie#malevolent#john doe#arthur lester#john malevolent#the hyperfixation is hitting.....#private eyes#jarthur#grimm art
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set after leafpool dies, before the bonus scene w jayfeather dealing w that grief gets resolved. guess who was bitter over a certain cardboard character bitch not being included in that
Next
#welcome to my blog where i *gets hit on the head by an anvil and i fall to hell*#do NOT underestimate lionblaze fans. there are five of them and theyre all fucking stupid#warrior cats#lionblaze#leafpool#squirrelflight#hollyleaf#jayfeather#to the anons in my inbox this is why i havent responded am sorry... will get to u guys when im done w this monster#art#im also having a lot of trouble figuring out the alt text for this. if anyone wants to help itd be greatly appreciated T_T#added ID in alt text! ty curlfeatherstar!!!!! (made a few minor adjustments since that is still in fact leaf in the third image-#squilfs walking towards her!)
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I can't stop thinking about if Simon had taken Edwin's offer
Like Charles finds Edwin in the hallway as ever but this time there's another boy there too, cowering against the wall next to him. Maybe the dollhead spider doesn't care about Simon, too busy focusing on its favorite target, so Charles is left standing in the hallway with Simon when Edwin is taken.
They get out of hell, but Edwin doesn't confess due to Simon hovering behind his elbow. He doesn't want to confess his emotions in front of his killer, who he probably hasn't even properly figured out how he's feeling towards yet.
The Night Nurse is pissed they came out with an extra soul but Niko's same loophole still applies and Simon stays.
"This is Simon," Edwin says when it's all said and done, finally introducing the boy that's been hiding behind him since the door closed. "He was a...classmate of mine."
"He saved me," Simon says, looking up at Edwin moony-eyed and Charles knows that look and something settles heavy in his stomach.
"Glad to have ya, mate," he tells him even though the words taste sour. This other boy knew Edwin when he was alive, the thought is slightly terrifying to him.
Simon settles in fine with the agency even if the agency feels a little crowded now with five people in it but he continues to moon over Edwin and Edwin just...never tells anyone how they actually knew each other. He reasons it just doesn't matter, that he can't find the right time, whatever.
Charles never really warms up to him, though he tries to hide it, but he sees the looks Simon gives Edwin, a soppy smitten look that is somehow worse than anything Monty or the Cat King ever tried with Edwin because of all of them, Simon arguably knows the most about like Edwardian courting. That, like Edwin, Simon has also survived hell. Charles hates the idea that someone could potentially understand Edwin more than he does.
He hates it so much that nothing further happens between him and Crystal because the idea of Edwin being left alone with Simon bothers him so much. He sees Simon adjusting Edwin's collar one (1) time and it makes him feel sick.
And then there's the fortune-teller.
They only go to her sometimes for cases because she never fails to freak Charles out but her prophecies tend to be accurate like 60% of the time which is pretty good for a fortune teller. She looks at the two of them at the end, because it is just the two of them for once, and then looks just at Edwin.
"How kind you are," she says, the words a compliment but the tone snide. "To house your killer. Pray tell it doesn't come back to you."
"What." Charles says. "The fuck."
Charles is furious, of course, and it takes Edwin a long time to talk him out of smashing Simon's face in with the new cricket bat.
"He's like me," he insists in that quiet but firm voice. Charles wants to scream that Simon is nothing like Edwin - that he doesn't have a fraction of Edwin's kindness or pissiness, that his blue eyes are not nearly as beautiful as Edwin's green - but before he can even open his mouth, Edwin continues. "He...He likes boys, Charles. He likes me."
Oh. Oh.
Charles stares at Edwin who is looking back at him, trying and failing to hide the fact he's terrified, and Charles doesn't give one shit that Edwin likes boys because he's his best mate forever. He's still pissed that Simon is apparently staying but he has to hug Edwin at that. "I'm still pissed you didn't tell me about him," is all he says, swallowing back the other words he wants to say.
Charles grows even more paranoid about Simon being around, who has to get used to the fact that Charles takes to swinging his cricket bat ominously every time he comes within ten feet of Edwin. He finds out that adjusting clothing was an Edwardian courting thing and wants to break something. The very idea the very person who killed his best mate is now trying to put the moves on said best mate pisses him off.
It also makes him think of numerous times Edwin had readjusted his collar or jacket in the past and it makes his non-existent stomach flip.
Eventually, Simon decides he's ready to move on to his after-life and Charles keeps his hands from fisting when he looks at Edwin with that same soppy look. He knows Edwin has forgiven Simon by now but Charles has always been better at holding a grudge and he knows what is going to come out of Simon's mouth before he even asks. He knows that if Edwin says yes, he won't stop him.
Charles also knows that if Edwin does, there is no way he is going to find any kind of his own afterlife.
"You could come with me," Simon says hopefully and the moment after is the longest in Charles' life.
"Thank you, Simon," Edwin says kindly and Charles has to keep himself from crying. "But I have no interest in going anywhere without Charles."
He steps back - away from Simon and back towards Charles. Ears suspiciously pink, Edwin links their hands and they watch as Simon follows the Night Nurse.
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#paineland#my writing#fanfiction#i have been wanting to write this so bad#but it's like minimum 5-10k in my head and i just don't have the TIME for it#but i got hit with the idea that edwin getting courted by someone from the same era#also charles confesses first like 0.00005 seconds after simon leaves#and they smooch right after#and simon WAS actually trying to put the moves on edwin but edwin actually realizes bc he at least knows these moves#but he didn't care bc he was too busy mooning over charles and wishing he'd been able to confess on the staircase after all#dbda
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Rewatching the hobbit
Justice for Bob the Friendly Orc, he deserved better :(
#lotr#the hobbit#bob the friendly orc#bob#orc#THE ONLY SCREENTIME HE GOT#WAS GETTING HIT IN THE HEAD#WITH A BOWL#DAMN YOU MATILDA#HOW DARE YOU#justice#justice for bob
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~ Extremely Unwilling Magical Protagonists Attempt To Outrun The Plot And Not Fucking Die ~
(@takofukkatsumi this tag is from a while ago but it hasn't left my brain -- L-Space got very weird all of a sudden)
#discworld#rincewind#the luggage#svsss#shen qingqiu#sqq#takofukkatsumi honestly thank you for this tag i've been chuckling on and off about the luggage overtaking sqq for a while now#something about it feels Right. no one expects the luggage until it's on you#honestly my main goal out of this picture is to force svsss fans to witness The Luggage and its horrible legs#shen yuan and rincewind hit that awkward point where you're keeping pace with a stranger#you can't quite manage to speed up or slow down at the right point to break contact#so they end up having a VERY weird conversation#at least anything sqq says is not the weirdest thing rincewind has heard#got sucked into a book? let him introduce you to the librarian#actually now i want the librarian to meet the system#if anyone could figure out a way to beat the system's head in it'd be an orangutan offended on behalf of literary characters everywhere#conversely both sqq and sqh are capable of ''speaking'' with pratchett style footnotes ARE are capable of seeing each other's footnotes#they weaponize this against each other immediately#honestly intrigued to see how many notes this gets - what's the general overlap between discworld fans and mxtx fans?#or is it literally the two of us here in this venn diagram?#i feel like it should exist though - are both not simply fantasy parodies in one variety or another??#my art
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broke: leshy failing basic tasks cause hes blind
woke: leshy intentionally screwing up basic tasks in a way to cause as much havoc and chaos as possible under the guise of being blind
#cult of the lamb#cotl#leshy#cotl leshy#personal#yeah so that last comic....he totally would have *heard* the wine hit the counter#he 1000% did it intentionally#bro absolutely struggles at times dont get me wrong but you cannot convince me he wouldnt use it to his advantage#anyway thats my head canon :3
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You could say I was horsing around.
.
#oh the uncanny effect is strong with this one#maybe it's the fact that horse heads are long and narrow so their facial proportions don't change much#when switching from canine to equine#but instead of a familiar snout they get a blunt herbivore muzzle and it's really throwing me off#also poor Machete what did they do to your ears! your big satellite dish ears#shrunken#ooh Vasco is looking extra golden and glimmery#I can imagine him looking downright glorious when sun hits him just right#thank you! always lovely seeing your art of them#gift art#kuroikamome#Vasco#Machete#own characters#getting Bojack Horseman flashbacks
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do yall ever think about bruce/batman!clone danny standing in front of his bathroom mirror after finding out he was a clone and silently tracing his face. The slope of his jaw and point of his chin. The high angle of his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, the curve of his brow bones and the shape of his nose. The volume of his hair and the way it curls and gets fluffy when it gets too long.
His hair is black the same way a crow's wing is black. His dad's hair is black the same way a black bear's fur is black. His dad's eyes are blue like the ocean is blue. Danny's eyes are blue the same way a glacier is blue.
His dad has a square jaw and straight flat hair, and he tans and gets a face full of freckles when he's out in the sun for too long. Danny burns like a lobster and his face remains untouched. Danny has a sharp jaw and tall cheekbones, and Sam says when he's not smiling there's almost something regal about him. You would never call Jack Fenton "regal" when he's not smiling.
Sam says when he's not smiling he looks scary the same way a stone statue is. Jack Fenton when he's not smiling looks scary the same way that german shepherd staring at you across the street is.
Do you ever think he grew up wondering if he was adopted. Because of course, he has black hair and blue eyes like his dad. But having the same color doesn't make you someone's child.
Or, worse, things he's heard from the other kids and the other parents and even some of his teachers growing up; that he was the product of an affair. And that his dad was just too stupid to notice. And Danny would defend his parents until the day he died, because Jack Fenton wasn't an idiot and Maddie Fenton wasn't a cheater.
But doubt comes in with fickle tongue. his parents swear up and down that he is their child when he asks about either. That Danny just had his grandparents' features, but he was their son and they loved him.
But Danny doesn't look like either of his parents. His mom's eyes are blue like an aquamarine and Jazz's too. And they burn like lobsters in the sun too, but Jazz gets freckles on her face and so does Maddie. And as Danny grows up he doesn't bulk up or get stocky like his dad did, and when he hits puberty he doesn't shoot up like a tree like Jack Fenton did.
He stays small, and they say he's a late bloomer (and he is), or that he just has his mom's height. But he's fast and has good stamina, and some days it feels like he's built entirely different from his family. That the things they went through growing up just didn't apply to him. Jack and Maddie Fenton both had acne and breakouts when they hit puberty, and Jazz inherits it and he's seen the amount of skincare products she keeps on her side of the bathroom.
And then he hits puberty and breaks out maybe once or twice, but his skin stays clear for the most part and the problems and changes his dad went through just don't happen to him.
And the truth is worse than all of the lies.
How horrifying.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danny fenton is a clone#clone danny fenton#clone danny#thinking about the inherent trauma that comes with growing up as a clone and not knowing and questioning everything about yourself#thinking about the amount of effort and lying that Jack and Maddie would've had to to do if they wanted to pass Danny off as their bio son#the MEDICAL RECORDS#danny's medical history is completely different from theirs. any generational health problems the waynes have would/could be passed down to#danny and he's completely oblivious to it up until the reveal. he'd have no idea about any medical risks until they hit him before that.#so many little things and inconsistencies that would just build and build and build until it finally came to a head and the truth came out#forever and ever and ever fascinated by the underlying horror of being a clone. there's a horror in being cloned but there's also a horror#in BEING a clone. like yes he could've always known from the start and that comes with its own set of issues BUT. just. him not knowing#for the longest time. the lies and deceit and betrayal. you know how adopted kids come out and talk about how they didn't know they were#adopted for the longest time and how traumatizing and betrayed they felt when they're finally told 15-20 years down the line? yeah that#i imagine finding out you're a clone is a lot like that.#i read a book in middle school once abt a girl moving to a new town with her family and getting these horrible nightmares and noticing how#everyone was acting strange around her. one of her nightmares was about the 30yo police officer being a shambling corpse talking to her#and at the end of the book she finds out she's actually the clone of a dead older sister and the police officer was her sister's boyfriend.#and she was in gymnastics but quit and her parents were so disappointed bc the og sister was a champion/award winning gymnastics player#and i never did finish the book but god am i reminded of that.#i love reading the dpxdc clone danny posts and they usually have him brush off being a clone which is literally totally fine but duUUDE#just imagine his own horror over it. its SOOO good
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