#WAIT FOR ME HOT NPCS IM ON MY WAY

[chaoswithinthemind]

Thanks for the tag! ✨

Last Song: Ruin by The Amazing Devil (currently on Red Flags by Tom Cardy, as I type this)

Currently Watching: Prodigal Son (it's such a good show)

Currently Reading: Rereading The Both Die At The End and countless of Webtoons 😇

Current Obsession: My OCs (as per usual) AND BALDURS GATE 3 (I wanna play it so badly)

I don't have many mutuals... I have one person I can tag 😂

@jartistic

Get To Know Me Tag!

I was tagged by @une-pomm3

Last Song: Better Me by R3hab

Currently Watching: A documentary about bison

Currently Reading: Bringing Out the Dead by Joe Connelly

Current Obsession: actually drawing again 8)

Tagging: @floralcrematorium, @madam-of-lithuania

[cringefail-clown]

at last, where doing it man where MAKING THIS HAPPEN

cringes jakehal fic rec list

just so were clear: some of the fics are unfinished, and havent been updated in a while. leaving a comment to let the author know that youre reading and youre enjoying it is fine, but dont be a bag of dicks and harass them over when the new chapter will be up. have some decency or else ill be inside your walls.

Heart by fawn_writes || rated T || 1/1 || 663 words - man its so good. short and sweet. jake comes by to witness the construction of hals new body while also reminiscing about the times he fought brobot and his untimely demise. a good sparkling of body worship. "Everything will be normal. They’ll manage to keep it normal. After all, Jake has enough of his own heart to share." - fuck, that lines so effervescent.

What he needs by fawn_writes || rated M || 1/1 || 1259 words - another banger from the same author. they be doing the horizontal tango, but nothings too graphic. healthy serving of body worship from jakes perspective, as well as his internal struggle with his apparent robotic attraction.

Dead Weight by squirtgunplay || rated M || 5/9 || 27337 words - oh that fic. oh my god. love me some zombie apocalypse au with existential horror sprinkled on top. hal and dirk are twins but with a twist in this one. theres mystery. theres injuries that make you incapable of moving around. theres ship of theseus discussion. its nourishing. its beautiful. jake and hals banter in this one is fucking amazing, and the author captures their characters so well. the relationship between hal and dirk is also very fucking good and heartwrenching and just ugh. stellar writing, the forth wall break made me laugh out loud, hal gets called a security camera (derogatory). theres graphic depictions of violence, so beware of the tags.

Tennessee Whiskey & You by MistLaFey || rated T || 5/? || 12217 words - major character death and graphic depictions of violence tagged, so beware and read the tags. no-sburb au. dirk fucking dies (its in the fic description so i dont feel like its a spoiler). beautiful exploration of grief, unhealthy coping mechanisms and trying to get back into the normal life when theres a big part of it suddenly missing. hal and dirk are twins. jake is not doing well. hal is also not doing well, but pretending he is. its heartbreaking and some scenes made my chest hurt. very good fic and i dont understand why it doesnt get more love. it deserves it. go read it, even just for the funeral scene, i got teary-eyed over it.

seconds by squirtgunplay || rated E || 2/2 || 18698 words - graphic depictions of violence and its no joke, presidential alert the girls are fightinnn!! but its also so funny and the authors so funny and its also really hot! no sburb au, hals a human and dirks twin. he gets kidnapped by a craigslist hitman jake who mistakes him for dirk. the banter is top game in this one. hal cant keep his mouth shut even in life or death situation. jakes a dork, but hes a deadly dork, and also cant keep his mouth shut about his personal problems. theres fistfighting and knifethrowing and hal gets a weapon put to his head at least twice and he thinks its pretty damn hot. theres banging in second chapter. what more can i say to sell you on this one. the characters are on point, the action is tense but its also written in a cheeky, fun way, smut is good, a npc gets unsubscribed from life. amazing fic, 10/10, will read it again.

I Think Therefore I AR by Taxi_Boy || rated T || 25/? || 30417 words - im saving the best for last. major character death. hal has to start the game and get his friends into the medium while dirk is missing, while also pretending to be dirk as to not raise their suspicions. im not going to say anymore about the plot, you just have to go and read the fic. genuinely my favourite jakehal - and homestuck in general - fic of all time. i love caliborn in this one. i cant wait to see what the author has cooked up for us in the future. its plainly genious.

these are only ao3 fics as i have no clue how tf you search other fanfic sites for a specific ship, but if you have any other recommendations feel free to add them onto this post! we all need some good jakehal fic recs in these trying times!

[lily-alphonse]

Hi hello hii omgg

First of all, Getting Fields of Mistria was one of the best purchase i ever did (after sdv haha) so thanks for the influence!

I just saw your Biland posting and I literally screamed because i thought I will be the only who see that!! I hopped on the train haha

Just like i hopped on the Maryis train, like hello they’re made for each other, how am i supposed to romance either of them??

THEA ♥️♥️ I just want to pick up all the Sambastian girls and drop them into this game we are having a field day shipping NPCs over here lmao

Biland is so good, but props to you for seeing it fr bc I had to see fanart to really conceptualize it. And Im so glad you agreed with my interpretation for them!

Honestly I could see Balor with anyone. He's my bicycle for this town lmao. But for me this was similar to my revelation re: Elliott and Sebastian where its like... why don't I take my two favorite boys and make them kiss?? Why not?? I like Sambastian best as a cute pairing that make sense, but SebElliott is just hot lol.

In regards to FOM, I initially got the game because of Eiland. I saw fanart and could not resist, but as I played the game I was like oh no this man is in no way heterosexual lmao. I just kinda left it at that and pursued Balor UNTILLL putting the pieces together with this one.

Maryis and Vaniper I can totally get behind. I feel no particular attachment to keeping any of them to myself. And speaking of ships can we talk about THIS???

When she said that I was like whhaaat is going on in this town lmao its the best time. I can't wait to see what you come up with now that you have fallen prey to the Fields lol

Sidenote if anyone wants to ship Eiland with a female character or farmer, that is none of my business, do you, but I was not feeling it personally lol

[kaeyachi]

i know i said im on hiatus but i speedran thru the 4.7 dain quest coz i had a feeling the alberich clan is involved again and here are my speedrun thoughts:

NON SPOILER THOUGHTS:

- short (as always) but very sweet

- lore drop was insane

- i have been crying for the past 15 mins send help

SPOILER THOUGHTS:

caribert?! WITH 1 EARING LIKE KAEYA?! (ayo why does his npc ass look hot af)

also the hair swoop is also very kaeya

other comments:

- dain has an older bro too? damn. if we had a nickel (how many nickels do we have now?!)

- me about caribert: "huh? who tf is this? he sounds like how kaeya would talk..." *screen pans to his face* "...NO FCKING WAY-" *screen pans to scarf on wrist* "NO WAY NO WAAAAAAAY-"

- maybe i want someone to draw caribert babysitting baby kae. JUST SAYING. (gave him a piercing too w/o permission from parents)

- caribert angst. we been knew. Khaenri'ahns never catching a break fr

- CARIBERT WAS 8 WHEN HE TURNED INTO A HILICHURL?! DAAAAMN YOOOUUU HEAVENLY PRINCIPLEEEEEES *fists shaking*

- caribert baby u deserve better *i pull off an abyss twin post caribert aq*

- saw our twin and started sobbing ✌️

- pain...

- more pain...

- traveler and abyss twin in hsr? no?

- *glass crack frame scenes* ... traveler eidolons? close enough. WELCOME HOME PLANET TRAVELING TWINSIES

- atossa gurl calm down, your bf died so he kinda had no choice but to leave lmao

- speaking of leaving without saying proper goodbyes... DAIN. YOU CANT KEEP DOING THIS

- this was so short. howd they manage to make something so short? not complaining much tho coz im speedrunning rn

edit: I HAVE THEORIES. PLS WAIT FOR ME BESTIES 😭

[honeekyuu]

i think you might be my favorite author on the entire planet. i mean this so honestly when i say i have never read anything so well written, let alone smut!! like i gushed in my reblog but i have to say it again, i’ve never seen anyone get akaashi the way i think about him but you nailed it perfectly, the dialogue is gorgeous and flows so smoothly, the tension feels natural and elevated so well, I THINK I COULD SCREAM!!! NOT TO MENTION HES SO HOT GOD DAMN. the listen to me deal had me actually staring at the ceiling. i need to go to confessional. if you have space on the tag list i would love to be on it. sorry for absolutely screaming here i just needed to gush because YOUR WRITING IS INCREDIBLE THANK YOI FOR WRITING THIS

WAIT HOLY SHIT CUT THE CAMERAS DEADASS--

M O L L Y R O L L S IN MY INBOX???? YOURE FAMOUS !!! YOUR HEY CUPID SMAU GOT ME SIMPIN HARD OVER IWAIZUMI -- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE HOW DID YOU FIND ME????? HELLO????? AND I SEE YOU A LOT ON EGGYROCKS' BLOG LIKE PLS HELP ME IM SCREAMING

holy shit im feral rn i cant even read whats going on -- im so so glad you like my akaashi characterization?????? im SO GLAD????? HOLY SHIT WHAT IS GOING ON IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE HOW I WROTE THIS IM ACTUALLY DEAD DECEASED DYING I FEEL LIKE IVE BEEN HANDED THE KEYS TO THE CITY

okay real talk the "let's make a deal" whole paragraph made me walk away from my laptop for a solid ten minutes because i had to stand in my kitchen like an npc thinking about him

[oliviawebsite]

If you would be so kind, what are the answers to 6 (top 3 npcs), 8 (top 3 areas), 18 (top 3 soundtracks), and 37 38 (what is your least favorite thing about each game)? :D

omg thank u for including the prompts in the ask so i dont have to keep looking back at the list i love u for that. anyway

6) Lucatiel from ds2, Djura from bloodborne, and of course u knowwww I gotta give a slot to dark daughter gwyndolin for reasons most obvious. honroable mentions for lady maria and sellen

8) i unironically think Caelid is fucking dope in the way its designed like the Vibe is unreal especially when u first show up there. Irithyll in ds3 does a similar thing where you come outta the cave leading back to the catacombs and see this blinding crystalline castle town type area that seems permanently frozen in place. Like eleum loyce from ds2 if it was actually good. Last on my list is gonna have to go for another ds3 location and im technically combining 2 zones into one but the whole dlc sequence from the dreg heap to the ringed city is so so cool to me. demonstrates a familiar world in ruins and reinforces the idea that all of the games occur in parallell realities without being TOO on the nose about it (it is funny that they chose to make earthen peak from ds2 the recognizable structure to signal this. like they knew everyone hated that place and wanted to say "we hear you so here it is again but its collapsed and mostly ash now"

18) Ebrietas theme is my fav overall its the most perfect situational use of a whole tone scale ice ever heard. Elden Beast theme is also rly good tonally like youve done all this fighting and buildup to see this sad bastard monster and the music conveys a sense of "poor guy :( so sad. but you do have to kill him". similar to gwyns theme in that way but the orchestration of elden beasts theme seals the deal for me. third one im going back to bloodborne. marias theme is fucking cool it feels like a really tense dance and matches the flow of the boss fight so nicely. also a sucker for them interpolating bell tower noises to highlight her position as the clocktowers guardian. plus shes hot.

38) my least favorite areas are probably in line with most others opinions on the matter. demon ruins sucks big time and has one of the worst bosses ever waiting for you at the end (and the bonfire run thru lava and dragon asses and those tentacle freaks is a miserable slog), faron keep was always kind of a sore spot in ds3 runs for me. you can handle the sludge using the dagger weapon art i just think its weird that it briefly turns into a zelda dungeon asking you to light some torches and those goddamb jumping guys ohhhh the jumping guys..fuck off! my third choice goes to valley of defilement in demon souls. everyobe says blighttown is the worst swamp zone but theyve clearly never had to slog thru the valley of defilement lol. i get that its supposed to be dark n murky but good fucking god man

[thegeminisage]

BACK at it w zelda. ive found another well from this mystery chef lady. i wanna meet her...

WAIT HES A MAN? aurie sounded like a girl name

love when people grow shit underground w brightbloom seeds. looks like a weed den

alright, im finally tackling death mountain. this is the last part of this half of the map i need before kakariko............which i'm doing during that fifth sage junk

scuh REAM this guy in the band is like we wanna perform with you but youre short on instruments...you can be our vocalist!! you have such a strong clear voice!! incred.

i think the reason ive been putting death mountain so long is like. 1. mountain big. ia m intimidated by the task. but 2. it's not the SAAAME without the LAAAVA and i MISS IT!!!

GORON WITH GLASSES AND A MUSTACHE???

sorry. i am up here doing these lil bistro quests. what the Fuck

omg. foodie who only wants RIPENED FLINT. i love gorons

here's the thing about death mountain. not only is it huge. but there's a LOT of caves. which means i have to make a lot of bikes bc they despawn when i go in caves. or drag a bike with me while im IN the cave. or just walk. i dislike all of those options. I Am Intimidated By The Task.

you can't even fast travel back TO caves the way u can w/ shrines you gotta go in while you're there

just wandering around in this cave & found an npc dying to get in and thanking me for making the hole. rip buddy i should have spoken to you elsewhere first i think

another ancient blade...amn, it's so depressing for some reason

oh wow ok i DO prefer the lava but this hot spring river is really something. like damn thats beautiful actually. i love 2 frolick

wait. wait wait wait these octoroks can repair weapons right?! my ruby rod.............

oh. it broke

LUCKILY i saved first. now i know not to throw it. i'll just drop it. gently.

MY SAGES KILLED IT...COME ON

AAAAAA IT WORKED...MY RUBY ROD......

weh i'm so happy. i was dreading this thing breaking!!! i know it's silly but i've had it for my entire file........

EMBER SHIRT HELL YES........

THEY GLOW IN THE HEAT......the shirt and pants. oh my godddd

omggggg i found the three goron brothers!! bayge kabetta and heehl.......i'll have t do this later when my mind is more alert, i'm falling asleep. im so happy 2 see them tho

[pwnyta]

Genshin character Judgement after all these years of playing. I will judge looks, personality, and say my favorite voice! Now with 5-stars, alphabetical order PART 2.

(under the cut)

Definitely a a better looks than Ganyus... Cloud Retainer whats going on with you that your daughters are dressed this way tho... BUT. I love Shenhe. Her story was so good... her song still makes me cry. Its a shame she doesnt exist anymore LMAO.

Her CN and KR voices are best IMO. I dont mind her EN tho.

Cute design but I wish she was a regular Melusine. ALSO HYV sure has the nerve to do a 'RACISM BAD' storyline with her but still fucking refuse to add a playable character with dark skin or a different hair texture... especially in NATLAN which is based on the precolonial Americas and Africa... ITS A CHOICE. Really the only time we see darker skin characters with locs are ENEMIES. Fuck off. Sigewinne this isnt your fault baby close your eyes.

I dont like her EN VA at all but the rest are very cute.

King dripless. My god. Also he was WAAAAY to easily forgiven for what he did... But his personality is fun so I cant hate him.

His EN voice too is kinda goofy... but his other VAs have sexy voices. So good for them.

UGH.

UGHHH His EN VA got replaced because the old one was a creep but they replaced him with such a generic voice it kinda sucked. LMAO. Not as bad as his JP voice tho... why does he sound 12?

Venti my boy. It took me awhile to warm up to Venti but I like him a lot now. I WILL SAY... there a quite a few people who will tear down Zhongli for him and I hate them. To mischaracterize Zhongli to make Venti look better is crazy... for what? VenXiao? Its a choice. Its not Zhonglis fault hes got a better relationship with Xiao... also if Zhongli got people drunk without their consent or brushed aside Barbaras stalkers youd ring his neck.

THAT ALL SAID. Ventis fun. Good guy mostly. Im fairly certain he'll have a 2nd story come Natlan considering his connections to Vanessa.

I dont mind any of his VAs.

Biggest glow up in Genshin history. I kinda dont like that he deleted his misdeeds from the history of the world... BUT.... hes getting better and hes putting in effort to be better so I got over it. He was really great in this Summer event. Wish he wasnt fuckin BLUE tho. Ya know now that I think about how Scara deleted himself from the GI memory I guess thats why Nahida has a digital vibe.. I guess the tree IS like a computer... (I still think its weird) Also I named MY wanderer Galilei! To go with the Bohemian Rapsody theming hes got... also I chose Galilei over Galileo cuz 'Lil Ei' since hes one of Eis puppets. IM SO FUCKING GOOD.

I like his CN voice the best.... WHYD JP GO WITH THAT VOICE THATS SO FUNNY. WTF

Hot. There was a concept design where he had darker skin and an eyepatch... we coulda had it all. But he still looks great. WHAT WAS WITH HIS PAST THO!? WHY IS FONTAINE SO FUCKED UP IDK. ALSO WHY WOULD HE BE GUILTY OF KILLING HIS CHILD MURDERING FOSTER PARENTS?! WTF IS WRONG WITH FONTAINE!? LYNETTE GOT FUCKING SOLD TO SOME CREEPS! THEY ALSO LOCKED UP A PREGNANT WOMAN WHO GAVE BIRTH IN THEIR AND DIED AND WE HAD TO REUNITE THE GRANDDAUGHTER WITH HER GRANDFATHER AND I ONLY JUST REALIZED RIGHT BEFORE AND WAS LIKE 'WAIT A MINUTE IS THIS THAT RANDOM NPCS GRANDDAUGHTER!? IS THE REASON SHE NEVER WROTE HIM BACK CUZ SHE FUCKING DIED?!' and thats exactly what happened. HUGE fridge horror moment for me right before it was revealed in game. LMAO..... .... anyways.

No complaints on the VAs.

MAN I remember seeing her design leaked and being... just infatuated. Shes a rare W vs her concept design which gave her like bellbottoms and I was scared for a moment that THAT might be the design they went with BUT NO! We got THIS. Beautiful. Her personality is also SO fucking cute. Shes so cute. I love that she acts tough until someone is nice to her and she gets all flustered.... Shenhe saying she thought of her and Xianyun being all touched about it... ;w;... But also her badly haggling was so funny and she was cool with that one dude being kinda rude to HER but the minute he doubted Zhongli she got so mad in his defense... Shes so cute... I love her.

EN VA clears. I think she does the best illustrating Xianyuns personality.

My mans Xiao... I thought I wouldnt like him since Im not fond of tsundere characters but hes a good boy. Also hes a Zhongli stan so how can I NOT love him. His quest in the Chasm was particularly good... ;w; the way I cried when Paimon shouted 'XIAO!!!!' LMAO.. that hurt my feelings even though I knew HYV didnt have the balls to kill him.

I think his EN VA sound SUPER petulant mostly but the deranged way he says USELESS and DISAPPEAR!!!! makes me laugh so I dont actually mind it... that said the others all clear him.

I dont like Yae as much as I thought I would when I first saw the Inazuma cast leak... but I still like her and her relationship with Ei (and Gorou) but im not that attached.... like I guess thats sorta how I feel for more of the Inazuma cast TBH.

JP voice clears... I am not immune to ARA ARA

Yelans outfit is so fucking GOOFY. Shes pretty tho... just wish she had better clothes.... Her character is great too but shes probably one of the characters Im LEAST invested in Liyue.

Her EN voice is sexy as hell.

MY FAVORITE INAZUMA GIRL!! The babiest. I love her so much. Shes so damn cute and lovely and her quest with the Aranara was weird... but adorable and I love her. Shes the only bow DPS I even TRIED to pull for. They could never make me hate you Yoimiya!!! Ive loved her from the minute I saw her on the leaked Inazuma cast lineup.

I like her JP voice the best~

AH. Finally... the TRUE BABYGIRLEST. My handsome dad, my beautiful son, MY BEAUTIFUL SUN, MY PRINCESS... MY QUEEN. I love Zhongli so much... I can never leave Genshin no matter how annoyed I get with it because this demon right here. Hes got me by the heartstrings. Like with Navia (GEO STAY WINNING) I know when hes got a part in a story they just cant fuck it up. Hes also dripped out to hell. I hope SOMEDAY we actually get a story about YOU instead of random history... not that I havent enjoyed the blasts from the past (especially Azhdaha my second favorite character) but like... WHAT ABOUT YOU SPECIFICALLY TELL ME....

I love all of Zhonglis VAs. I like EN and CN the best tho.

---

Again with Natlan I dont know the star rating Im just guessing.

Pretty my guaranteed 5-star... I liked her design a lot more before it was pointed out that her zipper goes all the way up her ass... now her outfit is kinda gross. Also nothing about it really reads like the cultures Natlan takes from so similar to Nahida... Im kinda disappointed. Shed also look better with at least a tan...

Im so surprised people on Twit are obsessed with this design... its so fuckin boring... her animations are super cute tho.

I guess its fine. Like with Nahida... i dont like the weird digital-ness of him. The color palate is pretty great tho. (hed look better with a darker skin tone tho)

Shes so damn hot. A rare W from the Natlan cast. She'd look better with a darker skin tone tho.

UGH.

Capitano.... please... Please look good by the end of your story. I have such a sinking feeling youre Ororon... Please dont be. Id be so disappointed. Hasnt Natlan done enough to disappoint me.... I know you wont be playable if youre the spooky faceless monster I want but at least dont be fucking boring... PLEASE.

[bubblesthetherapyfish]

(6.5 spoilers) oh no i had to stop grinding island levels to do msq

i got pound cake to eat and it's too hot in my room let's go

hey guys i forgot you all existed until now

oh right we literally did nothing last time

that's a doohickey

dude how do you make pound cake so SALTY

tiny orb!!!

allagan balls always make me happy

who died making the orb animation

aww the way y'shtola looks at the orbs

fuck it we ball is kinda how we do things around here anyway

ESTINIEN IS ALLOWED TO TALK FINALLY

oh no we're putting her in a jar

estinien do you think .

it's okay y'shtola i go there all the time for mats

what if i had zero and a bunch of orbs in my inventory during this section that would be neat

hi moren

UNUKALHAI MENTION

is because i did my role quests or does this happen normally i can't remember unukalhai's msq status

hello daughter

women in stem

YES DESTROY THE ECONOMY WITH COFFEE BISCUITS AGAIN

unbottled zero

i missed beq lugg's voice they're so snuffly

man it's been so long since i've heard "fitting payment"

zero you can't just tell people to eat you

HEY DON'T PLAY THAT SONG

HEY STOP THAT

the sky....

THERE YOU ARE!!!

oh right i was lowkey thinking hey isn't this just using the garlemald tower 2 or something ?

are we visiting the chais again 🥺

yay!!!

see we just have to warn them in advance that a really loud sound is gonna play on everyone's phone at around 2pm est i mean uh

she misses alphy :(

ryne and gaia visit the city together ;-;

walking up to random people and traumadumping

holy shit i got jumpscared by the giant fucking talos

back the next day this time with a chicken pot pie

it tastes like beans.... and not good beans :(

/hattip

back again on day 3 because i literally did nothing yesterday

hi runar 🥺

wait i wanted to get dunked too :((((

/hattip

zero is like a cat not in like the stereotypical way but in that she's so very particular about things at times

the very slight shocked face wol has when their phone rings is very relatable

what are you DOING

why would you DO THAT

^me every day @ my cat which proves my point

okay but why did you do that

it is really nice that she now very clearly wants to save the 13th

woman hot 😳....

i love npcs looking at wol like when you look at your mom after the doctor asks you a question

ryne's little wave ;-;

loporrits on the phone: heLPPPPPPP

HIGH TREASON

warrior of light and darkness 2!!!

im gonna have the estinien "holy shit two cakes!" attitude about this

wait holy shit you can change text color like, just by clicking it?

how long has this been here

hehehe

anyway

i..... did the writers forget y'shtola's blind again....

i hope y'shtola can see her funny lil guy again soon

imagine casually saying you'll fly up to the moon in a conversation

wtf was that noise

yay the anxiety theme!!!!!!

where the fuck were you hiding that body vrtra

the pretty light....

do i have the coordination for a dungeon tonight let's see

yeah i got questions for that fucker too zero

ah organ

that's a monkey

bro i don't FUCKING UNDERSTAND these tells

WHA

WHAT

this is FREAKY

targetable stone pillars 🤔

*dies immediately*

wait does zero not limit break?

i feel like i havent seen her do one?

oh-

what da hELLLL

thanks for the spiritbond durante

this hallway is so pretty

heyyyyyyy

imagine if golbez just goes sure yeah let's do your way actually

ah iggy moment

was that .

ohh uhhhh yeah that was fandaniel's fault

/hattip

into the dark

HEY

5v5?

FUCKING JUMP IN THE HOLE I GUESS

LB FIGHT LB FIGHT

where the fuck am i

oh it's a square arena this time

fruit gummy time

oh

WHAT

THE FUCK

i can't do the trial tonight but holy shit i want to

who the fuck composed this i need to know

the cracks are all around i wonder if they'll get bigger as the trial goes on

holy shit this music is so WEIRD it's amazing

hey that was the most terrifying shit i've seen

i feel like i just

HAHAHAHA I CALLED IT

oh no zero is a black mage now

get up girl we're not losing another ffxiv woman

me hopping in the back during a quiet cutscene

WHOA

bro i was too out of it to even notice the moon peeking through the tears

zero's smile is so sweet now 🥺

LITTLE DRAGON

LITTLE DRAGON

YIPPEEE

SHE'S SO CUTE

oh good we're not just leaving varshahn in there dklfgjdk

she sit on him head

unless something really stupid happens in the next 10 minutes im really happy zero lives and can be a new recurring character

y'shtola normal woman moments

the shared look with estinien

me when hildibrand noises

she gave zero a pet nixie awww

I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU *kills zenos again*

i hope we see her again soon i love her so much...

jammingway mention 🥺

i love completing things and its acknowledged

go take a nap right fucking now!!!!!

not the theme.....

FREE FOOD ?

oh help i can actually say that 😭

feo ul was watching? 👉🏾👈🏾

noooo she isn't women in steming anymore

WHA

YOU

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE

oh she's so weird i missed her

HE'S FINE WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS

helppppppp

bro has no fucking social skills

small vrtra

final cutscene time

ooo that's gonna be interesting to think about until 7.0...

eh????

oh you!

what are you back here for ??

catboy stance

i am too tired to form thoughts about how i feel about this but i sure had fun

goodnight 🛏️

[faorism]

absolutely wyll romancing astarion. spoilers below!

as i learned when i noticed someone had options i didn't get during the camp celebration night, there is precise pathing in wylls romance to avoid a bug(?) WHICH HAS YOU NOT HAVE HIM IN YOUR PARTY WTF that had me restart at the door of the underdark

i also definitely missed some subtle dialogue cues for wyll, while it's always very obvious what will seduce astarion let astarion seduce you.

it also doesn't say in the link above, but another person said asking wyll about his eye also breaks the romance. might have been an earlier patch, but i decided not to test it

you miss out on astarions lovely snippy comments and i miss his voice so much

maybe i am just so desperate for wyll interactions, but i feels other companions' reactions are prioritized above wylls? i hear SO much more from karlach, but astarions comments were definitely frequent or at least very memorable

im going to write a post about this, but unlike other companions who have persistent dialogue options, astarion does not until later on the game, and as of post-grove without romance path, wyll doesn't either. what astarion does have is the permission to feed on you. it was a delightful chore to always tell him he can. there was something somewhat transactional about it. and like people in other reblogs shared, it implies that wyll is kinda just relieving some tension even tho he knows (with a passed insight check) there's something fake about astarions approach. i really like this dynamic for how messy it is

astarion calling you darling and dear all the time 😭

wearing the bloodless condition with pride was so hot to me.......

astarion starts off strong in act i, cools off in act ii, and then boy when you complete his quest in act iii it's just so lovely.

people have spoken about wyll being underwritten. not sure for the wyll romance, but comparing astarion romance to wyll as a mainstay companion (during a tav/shadowheart run), it's definitely doesn't have the same punch as astarions emotionally imo. like,, the emotional resolution between cazador and dad/aldur ain't the same. (i personally wished ravenguard was less a set piece for all we had to go thru to find him since act i. because bruh the daddy issues there are SO real. i desperately wish that wyll reacted to the contents of his father's vault 😭)

astarion would absolutely hate being pushed into leadership (def npc in his own life energy, so he can observe others and react rather than being the one to be decisive) while wyll is the origin who steps up to the challenge

imo there is no way to play origin astarion as companion accurate while trying to impress wyll. you are forced into the noble/heroic actions or else wyll absolutely will disapprove.

meanwhile, there was only one thing i absolutely had to do where wyll that felt ooc, which was allow astarion to kill the gur hunter. (in my playthrough, i long rested immediately after the fight and astarion started the romance then. which. was so fucking depressing and wonderfully tragic in retrospect.)

in my abandoned playthrough, i was also flirting with gale and karlach with astarion. it was honestly bizarre to see how sincere, tender, and kind astarion is as origin. wyll, on the other hand, is absolutely that sincere, tender, and kind

THAT SAID i like the rp of occasionally dropping the weight of The Blade Of Frontiers and allowing himself to (as @lesbianralzarek brilliantly described) be a cunt sometimes. this ultimately is one of the biggest draws for me. i adore literal prince wyll and i cannot wait to carry on thru the romance to see him at his peak dreamy. however, im still struck with the line from companion wyll for why he hid his connection to mizora. something like, his is a tale of two men. he wanted you to know the blade, and not the shadow from the past. and like. UHDNDNDKS i really loved rp'ing from his guy who might not usually do something like this and not usually with a guy like astarion, and he doesn't see himself as a full person deserving of letting loose and living outside the grand persona. growing just a tad bit morally gray (or just a touch impolite tbh) on the small things felt like a natural way to allow the shadow to be lit

the other major reason is more ymmv: i am deeply interested in the exploration of trauma, and knowing what i know about astarions backstory, i am missing that as part of the relationship from what ive seen so far with astarion origin. like, the man says "dont touch me" hundreds of times thru a playthrough when you switch to him; having that be reflected in the rp (in terms of him not wanting to have sex after act ii for awhile) moved me. again, idk enough about wylls romance (other than the dance scene on my tav which RIP at me having to break the poor man's heart over rejecting him) so maybe my opinion will shift!

and the most important reason: romancing astarion means playing with wyll, and he is so good and sweet and i just wanna look at that man for hours on end and you should too haha

Wyllstarion people, is it best to romance Wyll with Astarion or romance Astarion with Wyll? Who has the most extra content?

[is-nini]

Genshin impact x reader

Episode: 2

Title: proven innocent?

A/n: someone ask me to make a tag list... I never make one.. but i hope I'm doing this right.. if i make a mistake please point it out😅 thankiuu❤️❤️. possible love interest for now will be : Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Zhongli, Childe, Xiao, Beidou, Ningguang.

"you're in Mondstat.. the land of freedom.."

She trails off, you take the glass and gave her a thankful smile. Mondstat.. oh yeah.. the land of freedom.. the land where the anemo god rule.. wait what now? The land of... Huh??? Isn't that- your brain clicked. Mondstat is where the traveler start....

The girl seems to notice you staring off into space, the glass is still glued to your mouth and the water is touching your mouth but.. the water is not decreasing and you didn't seems to do any gulping either.

"u-uhm.. my name is Barbara! What's yours?".

The girl that now you know named Barbara asked, you contemplate for a while.. what is your name? Well- you know your name but what should you gave her ...

"y/n.."

You trailed off, why did you do that?! You don't even know.. this is just a game anyway, what's the bad thing that could happen?

"y/n? Hum... A very interesting name."

She nods in understanding interesting? What did she means? You thought to yourself.. maybe giving your real name away is not the right choice..

"so y/n.. where do you come from?"

You widen your eye, you space out for a bit which made Barbara very suspicious of you but she wait either way. While Barbara calmly waiting for your answer, your brain is going on a world war. What can you say? Where you from? You haven't gone that far into the game you doesn't know anything?!

"I don't know.."

Good going y/n you face palm yourself inside your head. Barbara furrowed her eyebrow damn... You're dead.

"hum... It's okay, we will find your family soo-".

Just as about Barbara finished her words, the door suddenly opened reveals a tall tan man with a eye patch on his right eye- this is that man.. the one who claps at the traveler in one of the early cut scene, Kaeya if you're not mistaken.

"ah-! Sir Kaeya".

That now you know 100% is Kaeya, walked inside the room and smile at Barbara.

"well Barbara, you have done a lot of things for this stranger.. why don't you go and take a rest?".

The words that Kaeya kust said might seems caring and kind.. but the undertone of mystery and more is also present.. and unfortunately for you.. you're probably doomed here.

Barbara was about to say something but quickly shuts her mouth, she make her way outside your resting room. Now you're alone with this hot man.. brain he is hot but please don't get swayed you thought to yourself.

"okay stranger.. tell me where are you from?".

He goes straight to the point. Your brain goes to another stone as you tried to answer his question.

"Mondstat".

Frick why did i say that. You look at him intensely in the eye, trying to prove to him that you're not lying. Kaeya narrowed his eye and fold his hand.

"you're pretty good at lying, sadly for you I'm not buying it".

Yeah.. well that's kinda expected. You look away from him, gazing at your feet that's covered with white blanket. You don't know what to say now.. especially if this man is hard to lie to..

"I don't know where I'm from".

You decided to come clean.. well- there is a lie there but it's kinda true. Kaeya looks at you intensely. His eyes really looks like their calculating by default.

"hum.. interesting. You're wearing a one of Mondstat's common dress yet you don't know where you're from?"

Wait what.. you finally observe your surroundings, you stare down at your dress. You didn't notice this.. you realize that you are wearing a dress similar to the one that the girls around Mondstat use.. you know the npc one. Okay being sucked in the game is fun and all but really game? You could've give me a more interesting dress. You stare at the man and sigh.

"listen.. i don't know where I'm from and also let me ask you back- how am i here in the first place?".

Kaeya stare at you, blinks a couple of times and laugh out loud clutching his stomach. You look at him weirdly now it's your turn to fold your hand.

"okay that was unexpected of you stranger".

He take a seat beside your bed, he folds his right leg over his left and smile at you. You don't really remember about his personality.. but you do know that he is flirty.

"uhuh? Thanks?".

You looks at him suspiciously and also taking his confusion and amusement as a good thing.

"well.. let me answer your question. One of our knight found you at the sea shore.. you were knocked out cold. They assume you are a member of Mondstat".

He unfolds his leg, rest his elbow on his knee, bend his back forward a little bit and resting his chin on the back of his palm making him look 1000x more hot- okay brain.. stop wondering off to useless place you shake your head and nod at his previous words.

"but they never saw you around Mondstat.. they're scared to do anything so they called the nurses immediately.. i was about to quarantine you.. but because this is Mondstat.. they decided to save you".

You gulp nervously. What does he means by quarantining you?! Is it like... Some kind of jail? No... You don't think so.. Mondstat is the land of freedom.. not having a jail would make sense. Kaeya stare at you for a while and sigh, catching your attention. You looked at him nodding understandingly but completely confused.

"just call me Kaeya".

You look at Kaeya up and down, you puts your point finger at your chin and staring at Kaeya up and down, not even bothering to hide the fact that you're checking him out.

"what are you doing".

Kaeya deadpans, you just shrugs your shoulder as you slowly stroke your leg outside the bed, trying to get up.

"i am checking you out mr. Hot".

You stated bluntly because hey.. there's no use hiding it anyway. You're not discreet and not trying to hide it anyway. Kaeya holds your arms as you struggle a little bit to get up. You smile up at him.

"thankyou mr hot.man".

You finally look around the place, not noticing the slight red blush across a certain blue haired man's face while You are observing the room and the dress you wear. You felt kind of bumped not being able to wear cool clothes like the playable characters but.. Oh well, you're not meant to be here anyway. Talking about not meant to be here.. how do you get back?. You turned back to the man.

"Mr hot man... what is the name of the place that i was last found.. if i may ask?"

Kaeya ponders for a while, he looks back at you.

"the last time the Knights found you is on the sea near star fell lake".

Where is that place... Flash back when you're playing the game.. wait nevermind, you didn't remember the map. Oh well maybe you can ask around later.

"thankyou Mr. Hot".

Kaeya chuckles as you wave goodbye to him and left the room. Kaeya didn't even bother to escort you after all.. he has something important to do.. searching for your information.

"ah-! Y/n!"

A voice you heard sounds familiar, right when you're outside the door of the room that you just been in, Barbara came to you.

"hello Barbara!".

She stops in front of you and look to your left and right side. She touched your head, trying to check if you're okay or not.

"you doesn't seem sick.. well then! That's good".

You didn't say a word, assuming that Barbara have something to tell you. You and her have a akward staring contest. You blink once and giggle.

"thankyou Barbara!! That's very nice of you to check up on me, what's wrong?".

You asked her, assuming that there is something she would like to say, she startled back as if she finally remembered something.

"o-oh yeah! My sis- i mean the acting grand master would like to see you".

Andddd your assumption are right. She does need something, you were about to say goodbye when you remember something.

"ah-! Barbara where is this.. acting grand master?"

Barbara slap her head and quickly explained to you where the place is, you nod at her and make your way to the acting grand Masters room.

"halt!"

Once you reached the the door to the entrance of the office, a guard stopped you from going in.

"Tell me what business do you have here".

The guard ordered you to say your reason to be here, you were about to say something when the door suddenly opened.

"what's happening here?".

A girl with a low ponytail that's slipped forward with a purple flower shows up. She wears a.. pretty tight dress with two slits on the side like one of those chinese dress but with purple colour.

"oh.. it's you, follow me honey".

Before the guards even say something the woman already ask you to join her, the guard seems like they just let her whatever she does. So you just join her inside without looking back at the guards.

"she's here jean".

The girl called "jean" that looks pretty similar to Barbara stare at you, she smiled as you and got up from the seat. She pulled her hand in front of her, asing you to shake her hand. Being a polite person you are you shake her hand back.

"hello there.. y/n if I'm not mistaken?".

You nod and smile back at her, she asked you to take a seat in front of the table that is located inside the room.

"so.. y/n I'm sorry but we must investigate you for a while.. seeing as you existing out of nowhere and nobody here claims you to be their family i have a question.. where are you from and how did your hand gets on one of the Mondstat dress?"

You blink at her confused, you sigh and without thinking much you just said everything that you knew.

"I don't know where I'm from. I don't even know where im at when i woke up.. I don't know how can i get my hands on this.. Mondstat dress".

Yeah everything you said makes sense.. Barbara did say that you don't know where you are when you first woke up.. but that might be a trick is what jean thought.

"oh apologies, my name is jean. I am the acting grand master".

She explained, she doesn't seem like she is ignoring your previous word... Maybe she's changing the subject?

"nice to meet you miss jean".

You greets her back with her name rolling off your lips. Lisa stare at the conversation intensely and quietly.

"well then.. thankyou for meeting us.. you are dismissed".

Dismissed? What? You stands up and nod your head thankyou. Before you get out you turn your body towards jean.

"I-i'm sorry but where am i suppose to go..?".

Jean and the purple dressed girl looks at eachother it's as if they're talking about something but with no words being spoken.

"ah yes.. uhm- you will meet a certain knight.. please wait for a while".

A/n: I know cutting of the story here doesn't make sense but please bear with it for a while T-T i accidentally make a mistake and i will continue this on the next story! I Apologize deeply for the mistake, thankyou for reading!

Tag list:

@laic2299 @inlustris-is-slowly-dying

[tsuzuruchipalace]

rating mankai company based on character design

Note: I will take into account hair, color scheme, sprite poses, mostly outfits that are not from plays or scouts, and memorability. This is half an objective view and half my personal opinion.

Disclaimer: I curse a lot for comedic effort. I am mean because I am funny. No, you cannot disagree.

Spring 🌸

sakuya: you get what you see. a literal spring babey. his hair and color scheme’s a little generic, but he’s mankai’s poster boy, so that’s understandable. speaking of generic, his main pose is just this emoji 🧍‍♂️ his outfits tend to be kinda basic, but any outfit with a mostly pink top gets him bonus points. 6/10

masumi: okay his hair is elite. probably one of the most memorable character design aspects among the cast. his mole and eyes also make him very pretty. love my boy’s dark color scheme. unfortunately, points must be docked for baiting us with the emo fit, then as the story progresses, he starts dressing like the trust fund kid he is smh. 9/10

tsuzuru: i love you tsuzu but. my mans is so basic. if he didn’t have such a great personality, he’d be as bland as untoasted white bread. the saya of a3. his best design aspect is the fact that he doesn’t dye his roots. his outfits look comfy, but not necessarily eye-catching. 4/10

itaru: everyone who starts a3! with no knowledge of these characters has one (1) thought about itaru. sec sea man. so obviously there’s something appealing/good about his character design. i think part of the appeal is his fuck-all demeanor. obviously, his eyes and hairstyle are attractive, but the way the artists draw him gives him an air of not caring, which is also attractive in a way. his dyed tips are also nice. he looks kinda lame when he dresses professionally, but his casual outfits hit. especially the ones with light pink. 8/10

citron: although i’m not a big fan of the “character is foreign and therefore must talk and dress different and be funny” trope in these types of media, his fashion does make him stand out from the other characters who tend to have more basic clothes. citron’s summer, travel, and autumn outfits SLAP and anyone who says otherwise has bad taste. his hair and eyes are interesting, but his overall color scheme can be a bit repetitive. 7/10

chikage: i hate this guy’s fucking bowlcut. fucking salad bowl lookin ass. every outfit is the same turtleneck and sneakers in two alternate colors. his outfits are so plain. only thing i like is his casual outfit glasses. HOWEVER. that’s the point. he’s supposed to look boring and blend in because he’s a spy. it’s a smart design, i just don’t like it so im docking points. stay mad about it. 5/10

Summer ☀️

tenma: im yawning. you think tsuzu was boring? this guy has orange hair and i still find his design boring. that’s how you know he’s basic. he’s got generic messy shounen protag hair. he could be from any property. if i drew fanart of him, people would ask where he’s from. he either dresses like your slightly homophobic frat boy classmate or a grandfather who gets his shit stolen by the asshole kids next door. 2/10

yuki: he has the r a n g e. all of yuki’s casual outfits hit. they’re all different, but cute in their own way. to no one’s surprise, one of the best styled characters. though i like his general color scheme, i’m personally not the biggest fan of his hairstyle. it’s okay, but a little plain at times. but i think it suits him well. 7/10

muku: i love him. muku’s design is what i love about this game. you see him, and you immediately know what his character archtype is supposed to be. he’s the soft, cute boy. and if this was a mediocre series, that’d be all muku is. but since this is a3, he’s so much more than that. he’s smart, passionate, sensitive to others’ feelings, and protective. a3 does a great job designing characters that look exactly like their archtype, but having a much more developed personality than that. getting back to the actual subject at hand, i love his hairstyle and color, as well as his outfits. you can never go wrong with light pink hair. i may be biased but fuck you. 10/10

misumi: another great memorable design. his eye shape and hair style are really unique. his outfits also elevate his design. street fashion is always a plus for me. though sumi’s design is special in the world of a3! where most of the characters are just. guys. regular lookin dudes. i think that outside of the game, his design would not be as unique. 8/10

kazunari: personally, im a fan. maybe it’s cause i have an affinity for blonde anime boys. but his hairstyle is pretty unique and his trendy looks set him apart from most characters, even outside this game. and he has a pretty lovable expression in his sprites. his fatal flaw is that his fits are either a hit or miss. they’re either really cute or wtf. at least he’s memorable. 8/10

kumon: i love that he reminds me of an owl. his hair and eyes are very cute and his color scheme is great. and i think they did a great job making him look related to juza, but still very much his own character. but he dresses like your classmate from middle school that looks like a nike-sponsored highlighter. yeah, he’s the sporty one, and i like the windbreakers but... i cannot excuse his summer fit. also, i find his design a little tame compared to some of the other characters in the game. 6/10

Autumn 🍂

banri: i hate his hair. i hate it so much. i know in canon it’s nice and he takes good care of it, but it looks so fucking greasy. the style makes him look so greasy and it makes me mad. he looks like an asshole. i mean, he is, so it fits. if this dumb bitch changed his hair more often, i’d like his design so much more. you saw this coming; his love for cheetah print is fucking repulsive. BUT, maybe unpopular opinion, minus the animal print, his sense of fashion is not bad. why do yall clown on it. if the fit is fresh, the fit is fresh. anyway, he looks like an ass, but objectively his design is kinda eh. 5/10

juza: im sorry im DEADLY fucking biased when it comes to juza, but he’s so handsome. his hair is a such a rich, pretty shade of purple and his eyes are so mesmerizing. his hairstyle is so attractive. his face is so pretty. yeah his design isn’t crazy unique, but the simplicity just works. im so sorry im this man’s whore i didn’t choose this life... but i can stop being a simp for one second to say that he has a boring fashion sense. i mean it’s kinda hot how simple his outfits are but his travel fit is good-- wait a minute i just remembered the fucking sandals. docking one point. 9/10

taichi: okay shut the fuck up i LOVE taichi’s design. so eye-catching and fun. as i’ve said i love street fashion, and taichi’s lil e-boy fits are right up my alley. that shade of bright red goes so well with his fashion sense, making a really cohesive design. with his main outfit, you can tell he purposely dresses like that to be trendy and it’s so smart. 10/10

omi: im sorry omi stans but his design is kinda,, boring. i legit had such a hard time identifying him when i first got into this game. the scar saves it a bit. but... only a bit. he’s just got. hair. and a dad outfit. i mean his tits are huge, but i don’t think i can call that a character design aspect. kinda forgettable design. i don’t dislike it though, so he ranks higher than tenma did. 3/10

sakyo: im not sure why but i really like sakyo’s design?? the contrast of his light hair and his dark clothes is nice. also, megane rights. even when i thought he was an npc during my first playthrough, i really dug his design and thought he was memorable. i actually cannot pinpoint a reason why. i wish i had more constructive things to say... but upon thinking about it, he has a karen haircut, which kinda dampers my thoughts on his design. i like his moles, but i honestly did not notice them until the game pointed them out. 7/10

azami: azami has a damn good design. i don’t think anyone can deny that. the long hair, the contrast of black hair and bright blue eyes, his eye shape. all very eye-catching design aspects. and the street fashion style strikes again. the color scheme matches well with everything. this review is lame, but there’s really only good things i can say about his design so. 10/10

Winter ❄️

tsumugi: it’s so late and im so tired of looking at these sprites. anyway, tsumugi’s design is okay. i think his color scheme’s a bit limited and his outfits are a bit meh. he has a more respectable bowlcut than chikage, but it’s still a bowlcut and it’s still boring. i think the best part of his design is his eyes, they’re very soft and kind. but other than that, tsumugi looks pretty basic. 5/10

tasuku: tbh, i didn’t even realize that the godza member tasuku was the same character as the winter troupe guy in the game’s opening until the middle of episode 3... yeah. im slow. ooooooor... tasuku has the worst fucking design in the game. yeah i said it. come at me, but tasuku’s design fucking sucks. i literally thought he was a minor character until they forced me to realize he wasn’t. his fashion sense is... questionable at best. i look at that man’s hair and think he doesn’t shampoo. he looks so bland i could dry up from looking at him. im sorry but his tits do not make up for the sheer fucking snorefest of his character design. he’s so boring i won’t elaborate anymore. 1/10

hisoka: ya get what ya see part 2. i like that i can tell he’s the sleepy and mysterious character just by his design, but honestly, that’s a character trope im generally not a big fan of. so i wasn’t thrilled by hisoka’s design at first. but it’s effective. i like the hairstyle with the white hair, but i’m not too fond of his color scheme. his outfits look comfy and soft though. it makes sense, but it’s nothing too memorable if you compare him to characters outside the game. 5/10.

homare: ah, now this is a memorable character design. his hairstyle annoyed me in the beginning, but now i love it. it’s so unique and fun. and i like the purple. i also like his outfits. very classy. but honestly, most of his charisma lies in his face. i think that the pure eccentricity of the hairstyle is enough to put him in the top tier without considering any other element. you really could not find this design in any other media. fuck it. i don’t need to consider anything else. 9/10

azuma: i’ll be honest. im not a fan of long-haired anime men. especially the pretty, flirty types. i don’t know, i just don’t vibe with them. originally, i didn’t like azuma’s design, but now i do. i don’t know how, but i think it’s because azuma is just that powerful. his ponytail makes it more bearable for me and i like the way his bangs frame his face. he just has pretty eyes and face. unfortunately his color scheme is a little too repetitive for me and his casual outfits are a little boring. 6/10

guy: maybe it’s because he looks dead inside, but i love him. i don’t even know this character that well yet, but i think his deadass expression is great. the darker under-eyeline sets him apart from the other characters and i love how he dresses. i think his hair is kinda eh. i personally like it, but objectively, it’s meh. it’s a solid design, but ngl it’s nothing special when i really think about it. 6/10

[thrawns-babygirl]

Weakling

(Self Indulgent sin, I’m going to hell and I hope to see you all there with me) Pairings: Shigaraki x Fem!Reader Warnings: Smut, Rough sex, Degradation, raw sex, shiggy bein’ shiggy, swearing Summary: While berating you for a mission gone wrong, Shigaraki realises that maybe you aren’t so useless after all...

You were a stupid pitiful excuse of a member. Twice could explain his thought process behind inviting you to join them after you had explained how a simple snatch and grab mission had ended in all of you running from authorities for over three-fucking-hours. Taking you in a harsh 4 finger grasp Shigaraki Tomura all but drags you to his room, debating what to do with you now you had all their information. Should he just dust you? Not worry about you blabbing your stupid mouth to anyone about them? Angry thoughts swirled around his head as he threw you into his room and slammed the door behind him making small fibres fall from the roof onto your shoulder.  Turning to face you, Tomura felt his resolve to actually dust you crumble a little bit at your pout. Your slightly tear stained face, your big eyes and those lips slightly parted as you wait for his next move had the blood rushing from his face. Sure he always thought you were pretty hot, and he knew you were dedicated to his cause... so how far would your dedication to him go? Throwing you down onto your knees, Shigaraki finally spoke, “So you think you are good enough for us after the stunt you pulled today? after putting our entire operation and our lives at risk?!” spit flies from his mouth as he yell and berates you. “You were stupid, unfucking-believably so. You are so fucking grateful I even let you back into this hideout, you utterly useless bimbo! Are you good for nothing but walking around in a tight fucking skirt?!” This apparently struck a chord with you. Your thighs shot together as he degraded you further. “Stupid skank, I should tie you up and leave you here so that you can’t cause us any more problems...”  Your face was certainly red at this point you thought, as heat pooled between your legs. You wanted nothing more than your leader to throw his pants down and shove his cock down your throat while he continued screaming profanities at you. But with the way today was going you would be lucky if you even made it out of here alive, let alone sexually satisfied. So, resigned to your fate, you took the verbal lashing he gave you, every excruciatingly arousing second of it. “I’ll give you one last opportunity to prove to me you aren’t just a useless piece of shit” He grasped himself over his pants “suck my cock. right now” You wasted no time in physically crawling over his filthy floor as he yanked his sweat pants down his thighs. He looked down to you as you grabbed his half hard cock in your trembling hands and began stroking him “I asked for your mouth slut, are you that dumb you can’t understand what I’m sayin’?”  Taking advantage of your gasp, Tomura wastes no time in shoving his dick to the back of your throat. Nose nestled in his unruly pubes as you gag around his quickly hardening cock, he doesn’t move until he sees tears begin to streak from your eyes from the lack of oxygen. Giving you a second or two for air he begins a brutal pace fucking your airways, one hand curled into your hair at the back of your head as he manhandles you as he sees fit.  “Fucking useless skank would enjoy being chained up wouldn’t she? I bet you would like the league taking turns with you. Too bad whore, you’re MINE”  That word was said with so much raw possession that you tightened around im involuntarily.  

After a hard thrust he pulls you up by your hair over toward his bed. “You’re going to let me fuck your slutty NPC pussy raw, I’m going to cum inside you and you are going to ENJOY it. Understood slut?” A meek “Y-yes” rewarded with a harsh tug of your hair “Is that how you answer your Master, Whore?!” “Yes Master!” “Better” With no warning he forces you onto all fours and shoves his thick cock inside you, sighing at the feel of you around his length, he wastes no time in starting a brutal pace, thrusts punctuated with a degrading name each worse than the last. “Skank” “Slut”

“Whore” “Cocksleeve” ‘ “Cumdump” Until he settles on his favourite, calling you his personal onahole as he mercilessly pounds your cervix. All the while you pant and moan and call him your Master so loudly the whole base will know what you are doing and this spurs him on more. He leans forward, sinking his teeth into your neck as his movements still inside you. Letting out a long, low moan, his cock throbs as he spills inside of you. Pulling out, and admiring his cum leaking down your thighs he relents, maybe you weren’t so useless after all. (A/N: Take this pure sin I felt like writing! Kinda bleeds in to one of my asks but I already had this half written before that ask came in. So here’s to you anon who wants to be used as Shiggy’s personal Sleeve. I feel you. )

[930am]

under the cut for spoilers if u care…

overall i liked it a lot was a great experience and ill definitely play it again im usually a serious side quest completer and i did my best with this game but i think i still missed quite a lot of them haha. surprisingly i built my characters very well for someone who knows nothing about d&d (i thought ranger class meant you had to be an archer when i started…) and nothing was super easy or super difficult at the normal difficulty so well balanced and pretty fun i got really into the fighting by the end which i wasnt expecting

in terms of game mechanics a few things annoyed me a little…

1. this is especially true towards the end game but when youre in a fight with a large number of enemies (like 15-30) you are kinda forced to sit thru each of them taking their turn and at times the AI was a bit slow so it would get to an npc’s turn the npc would stand there doing nothing for 20 seconds then take 20 more seconds to complete their actions. then this times the 20 something other enemies there i really liked the fighting generally but moments like this where you would be waiting 5-10 minutes for your turn again i would get quite bored lol i did 3 word searches while waiting for my turn during the final two fights

2. sometimes you had to talk to people a little too much for example i would get on my computer to play for an hour or two and i would be looking to fight at least a little but sometimes you would not encounter that at all and have to spend your time doing the starting point of questlines where you walk around and speak to randoms for the whole hour u know. could be how i played the game though i like getting thru one area entirely instead of going back and forth between places and especially at the start of act ii and iii the first few hours i would do nothing but walk around and speak to people

3. okay now for my romance hot take: i think it was all too easy and when a game makes things too easy for you i find i like it much less. i did nothing at the start but not be outright rude to all the companions i met on the road but this let me sleep with whoever i wanted which was kinda a letdown because i think you should have to put some work in and at least have to try to flirt with them first!! i was propositioned by four characters in the first act and as i said i was really not going out of my way to romance anyone.

that being said i wish i romanced karlach she was def my fave character and i brought her everywhere and we became besties by the end (and i let her turn into a mind flayer for me and also for herself so she wouldnt die) but the reason i initially didnt is because i met her the same day as the night of the tiefling party and i thought it would be too soon to be doing that but then after i picked someone else she gave the remark everyone else did when i didnt pick them which was ???? ive known you five minutes why do u wanna sleep w me??? but whatever i liked her arc the best i loveeee her voice not sure what kinda british accent it is but its very pleasing to hear and she was always so charming. i ended up romancing astarion but im not sure i would do it again i love vampires ofc but he was kinda annoying me the whole time idk he was too fanfic-y for me. and i let him turn evil but then he got even more annoying so i broke up with him lol his loss

idk i think in rpg games i prefer if u can very briefly flirt with someone not completely get into a committed relationship (or at least have it be much harder than it was here) if u really feel something for some polygons you should have to put some work in yourself to see these kinda results! but thats just me im aware im in the minority of players here

also i finished bg3 last night finally!! my first playthrough took me over 90 hours i will write out my thoughts later

[utilitycaster]

hello!! i just went thru your history of exandria post and im confused by the dates of the even of crimson midnight and the moleasmyr accident- in De'Leth's bio it says that he is one of those escaped elves and was also the founder of the assembly (ergo, was there for the Eve) so I think something is amiss... I also checked the dates, and Ludinus is an original member of the assembly. So how could he have fled Moleasmyr AFTER he'd already established the Assembly in Rexxentrum?

Hi!

Short, Doylist answer: Matthew Mercer is not superhuman and made a very understandable mistake.

Extremely long answer: Matthew Mercer is still not superhuman and still made a very understandable mistake (my guess is either he meant to put in 565 instead of 585 for the fall of Molaesmyr, or “not a half-century” for the date of the Eve of Crimson Midnight), but this, one of the the two biggest discrepancies in the history of Exandria* can both be handwaved (Watsonianed, if you will permit me turning that into a verb, and if you don’t I fully understand and probably deserve it) with a little bit of headcanon. Here is my headcanon which you are welcome to adopt, with dates, citations, and reasoning, below the jump.

Reasoning for the Date for the Eve of Crimson Midnight

So: the exact phrasing (Matthew Mercer, The Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount (Renton, WA: Wizards of the Coast, 2020), 16) for the Eve of Crimson Midnight is “Not a quarter century after the Marrow War ended....” blah blah, wizards fought, got captured and brought to the king, “After days of deliberation, an agreement was drawn up that would absolve those involved of the usual punishment in exchange for direct subservience to the Crown and the goals of the empire. Establishing themselves as the Cerberus Assembly, this council of mages became an powerful tool for the empire to maintain its position as the dominant force of Wildemount.”

“Not a quarter century” is something I’d personally interpret as “slightly less than 25 years later”; this is also the typical interpretation of that phrasing for most native English speakers, certainly native speakers of American English, which both I and the author of the book are, so we’re going with that.

The Marrow War has an explicit date given; the Admonition (execution of rebellious priests who were in turn spurred on by Julous Dominion interests) was in 544 PD (Mercer, p. 15) and later that year Emperor Manfried (the title of King rather than Emperor comes later) attacked the Julous Dominion, starting the Marrow War. It lasted “over sixteen months” which again I’d interpret as “more than 16 months, but probably not more than 17 otherwise you’d say that”, so depending on when the Admonition was, it ended in either late 545 PD, or early 546 PD. Not quite 25 years later would therefore put us in roughly 570 PD for the Eve of Crimson Midnight.

Reasoning for the Date of the Fall of Molaesmyr

This is much simpler! Per Mercer, p. 42: “What is known is that in the year 585 PD, suddenly and without warning, a wave of purple-gray shadow rapidly crept from the center of Molaesmyr to engulf the entire city.” It then goes on to describe that the elves fled, some “eventually” to settle Bysaes Tyl, some to Uthodurn.

Ludinus Da’leth’s personal history

Mercer, p. 42: “Ludinus is the oldest and only original member of the assembly...He was one of the mages who survived the destruction of Molaesmyr and fled to Bysaes Tyl, but he saw the opportunity to achieve greatness within the empire and left his culture behind to continue his arcane pursuits.”

A note on Bysaes Tyl

Per Mercer, p. 96, it took several years to build up the city, but for the sake of argument I am treating the region to which the elves of Molaesmyr originally fled as also Bysaes Tyl, thus indicating Ludinus may have only been there very briefly.

Here’s How Ludinus Can Still Be A Founding Member Of The Assembly

While the Eve of Crimson Midnight occurred circa 570 PD, as did the initial agreement that those involved would be directly subservient to the crown, it doesn’t actually indicate how long it took for those people to establish themselves as the Cerberus Assembly.

I would absolutely believe that a bunch of wizard academics who all tried to kill each other so hard they created collateral damage in the streets of Rexxentrum would absolutely take 15 years or more to consolidate a formal council and give it a cool name. In fact, can’t you just imagine it? Ludinus Da’leth, a promising young elven mage living in “the height of reborn civilization on Wildemount” (Mercer, p. 18) sees his home, his laboratories, everything he’s worked on, all destroyed. Perhaps it’s by his hand; perhaps by that of a colleague. He flees to a bitter cold forest with absolutely nothing. To the south, Rexxentrum stands as now the major site of arcane talent. Perhaps there’s been communication between the wizards of the Empire and those of Molaesmyr. Perhaps he’s heard that they are sworn in service to the king, but have been in disarray because they can’t elect a leader-after all, they’re in this position because “A number of noble houses with a strong history of studying arcane pursuits began to compete with other high-born magic practitioners from the Julous Dominion”. They can’t openly fight anymore, but the political games continue and neither those from within the pre-Marrow War boundaries of the Empire nor those from the recently-incorporated Julous Dominion can agree on council representation, and they’ve been deadlocked for over a decade. They have been serving the king, but he is becoming displeased.

Enter a neutral** third party: Ludinus Da’leth, formerly of Molaesmyr. A suitable compromise who just happened to make his way south - a gifted mage, eager to prove his allegiance to the Dwendalian crown and share what he knows. And so: the founding of the Cerberus Assembly, 15-20 years after the Eve of Crimson Midnight and shortly after the fall of Molaesmyr, following an uneasy interim period of mages in slightly disorganized service to the crown. And scene.

*the other big discrepancy is that the Chroma Conclave was stated to be in the year 815 PD on page 20 of the Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount, but in Campaign 1 episode 103 a minor NPC when asked for the date says the year is 812, which would instead put the Chroma Conclave in the last few days 810 PD per the dates given. However, since the month and day that NPC gives also don’t line up internally even with the other stated events of Campaign 1, and since using a date of late 810 for the Chroma Conclave would make Allura pretty young when she sealed away Thordak and conflicts with a bunch of dates mentioned since, including Delilah Briarwood’s expulsion from the Cerberus Assembly, Vilya’s time on Rumblecusp, and The Darrington Brigade’s stand against Quackthulu, I’m personally inclined to say “Matt probably didn’t have the date written down when asked, because it was episode 103 and the exact year had not been relevant so far, and/or misread 817 for 812 when looking down at his notes.” The headcanon to fix this is of course that the NPC got the date wrong and Vox Machina either didn’t realize due to *gestures vaguely at the events of episode 102* or was like wait are we in the past? seems fake and then asked someone else offscreen and got the right date, which is way less fun but much easier.

**technically, lawful, although who knows what his alignment was then. If you also buy into theories that Ludinus was in some way responsible for the fall of Molaesmyr you get some fascinating parallels to one similarly opportunistic and ambitious Hot Boi, and yes I did make a really stupid alignment joke just to make this point.

[the-crowess]

Altrovough: Adventure on Every Horizon

Chapter 1: Out of the Dark I hadn't been playing for six months. Not because it had become too expensive. Not because work became too much for me. Not because I got a significant other. Not because the community was bad or anything like that. No, I hadn't played in six months because my avatar was stuck in a trap.

            There are glitches, you see. Somehow in this modern VR experience there are still glitches. And with glitches comes assholes who use those glitches to their advantage.

            So, here's what happened to me: Me and my party went into a dungeon. We split up. Two went one way, two went the other, and I (though I protested) was by myself. Even though I had a lantern when I walked down into the hallway it was completely black. That should have been my first clue that this was a trap of some sort. My lantern still had fire, but no light was being produced from it. Being promised treasure and being a dumbass, I continued forward into the dark. After walking just far enough into the hallway to make the doorway disappear, I sprung a tile trap.

            The floor beneath me sloped downward and I fell rolling after it. Head over heels I fell until I smacked my face and passed out.

            I woke up in chains. I was propped up against a wall. My wrists above my head were on short chains, and my ankles on longer chains.

            Okay, I thought, no biggy. I'll just restart the day.

            Okay, so that didn't work. Which is weird... I'll call my party members...

            No service? What the fuck? That's not even an element in this game!

            Well, uh, okay I guess I'll just bust out of these—rusty—old—chains!

            ...

            Nope.

            After exhausting my options, then exhausting them again I logged off.

For months I kept receiving messages that players were interacting with my avatar, so I would log on, only for them to laugh at me and be utterly and completely unhelpful.

            My party visited me four separate times. And all of those times were to make fun or my misfortune, even though they knew that ANYTIME they could unlock the chains and release me. The first time it was all of them together. The captain Jockster (or Jerkstar as I call him) had squatted down in front of me and said, "this is what you get, you know. Playing this way has consequences. Thanks for taking one for the team." Then he had laughed like the drug addicted jackass he was. The others laughed with him. The second time it was only Aliciandria (our rouge) and Marlquan (our cleric). They had been discussing what to do with me when Alicandria accidentally kicked my foot and I responded, and I woke up to them talking about if they should just kill me so that they wouldn't have to worry about how people were judging them for not helping me. The third time it was just Havanio (the sorcerer). He woke me up, then sat across from me and said nothing for an hour. He just sat there like a fucking douchebag and looked at me like I was some caged beast put there for his entertainment. And the last time doesn't matter.

            Players of all kinds and from all districts would stop by only to laugh at me. I became a joke, and even more that that I became a meme! Screenshots of my avatar hanging there like a prisoner spread all over the internet. To add to my torture, a player whose avatar was a homely goblin woman would harass me constantly.

            Behind the happy smile of someone who literally baked cookies for visitors was a demented maniac. This guy—I know she is a he because he fucking DM'd me dick pics. I think he harassed me for three reasons: 1) I fell right into his trap 2) My avatar is a hot man and I think Little Miss Goblin Man is gay or more likely bi and uncomfortable with his sexuality 3) I think he thought he figured out that the gender of my avatar and the gender of myself might not be the same, and he was definitely trying to intimidate me. This asshole physically and sexually harassed my avatar, and I couldn't even report it!

            Not like I didn't try to report it—when I did the staff would send in an NPC (Non-Player Character) and see literally nothing. So, in this trap: it's a glitch mixed with a non-invasive virus; meaning the virus only effects this one spot and not the whole server or game. It can't get into your computer. It like can't get past the firewalls or something I don't really know.

            So, not only did this jack-wad figure out a way to trap me, but he also figured out how to keep his dirty deeds hidden from the staff. For almost three months I continued to check in. Two weeks after the initial incident I jumped at every UAN (Unconscious Avatar Notification) but I quickly learned that nobody wanted to help me, they all just wanted to see if the rumors were true and maybe get a picture. Eventually I stopped responding and eventually my avatar fell out of the popular meme rotation.

...

BEEP. BEEP. UAN! Someone's interacting with your character! 😊

BEEP. BEEP. UAN!! Someone's interacting with your character.

BEEP. BEEP. UAN!!! Respond you asshole! You should log on!

"Uhg! Fine!"

I left my lunch (thinking I would return to it real soon) and went to my game room to log on.

I woke to a girl poking my cheek. I snapped at her fingers.

"Oh! Fuck!" She pulled her hand away, shaking off the close call, "you're hard to wake up! Not much for answering your UAN's huh?"

Standing over me was a girl of maybe nineteen. Her clothes draped and flowed about figure in Cleric glory. Great. A fucking cleric. She wouldn't've stood out more. Dark skin with undoubtably "sea green" eyes. Her hair was done up in some completely unattainable style that was loopy with braids and pigtails sectioned into pompoms; it was a shade of maroon that says, "I'm a supporting character, but I want to think I'm a main character!"

"Is it true you've been down here six months?"

"O.O.G."

"What?"

"Out. Of. Game. I've been 'down here' six months out of game."

"Holy cow, man! That's a while."

"Did you need something?"

"Excuse me?"

I made cold eye contact with her, "Did. You. Need. Something?"

"Uh... wellllllll, I heard a rumor that there was some poor fuck stuck down here who can't get himself out."

"Oh. Fantastic." An awkward silence split between us, "well, thanks for stopping by. Take a screenshot, it'll last longer."

She stared blankly at me, "no. I think you misunderstand. I'm here to help you."

"What."

"I'm here to help you."

I couldn't think. Couldn't fathom this thing unfolding in front of me, "what?"

She began to fiddle with the chains on my wrist.

"Wait, no!"

She looked down at me the way a mom would look at her two-year-old who says he doesn't want to eat mashed potatoes because they have eyes and he doesn't want to eat mashed eyeballs.

"Wait." As my heart pounded loudly in my chest, I asked her, "what do you want from me? Like, you—you can't just want to let me go. You must want something from me."

She sat back down on her heels and looked away, her lips followed her eyes away from me and back, and she said, "Well, no. Not really. Like I said: I heard there might be some poor fuck who was trapped and couldn't get out on his own. I thought for my first adventure, I'd go get 'im." Then she went right back to messing with the chains.

I laughed and shook my head.

She stood up and put her hands on her hips, pouting. Lordy, she was cute. The puzzled look on her face gave me some hope that maybe she might actually be able to save me. With a huff she sat down again and confessed, "you're the only reason I got this game. You're a meme, a legend. You're so classic that you're practically nonexistent. Every time this game comes up in social media you're mentioned. On all the subreddits, and in the deepest parts of tumblr—you're there. I just had to come see if you were real, and I was—and still am—planning that if you were actually here that I would help you out."

"No catch?"

"No catch."

I smiled to myself, knowing now that it was I who had the advantage. I could use her. After all, every party needs a healer. Now I just had to make sure she wouldn't ditch me anytime soon. "Are you sure you don't want to try and find a catch? I was a level 52 before this whole ordeal."

She perked up, "what's your level now, cowboy?"

"35."

"What?! You're so dilapidated and all your equipment was stolen. H-HOW?"

"Cause I'm just that awesome." This should do it.

"I've changed my mind!"

Perfect.

"I want you as a bodyguard! For two years—"

"One year."

"Alright, one year." She looked like she wanted to ask me to shake on it, but then thought better of it, "can I please help you out now?"

"Yes."

Very quickly, and with very little trouble she released me from my chains. Bruises and scars tattooed my wrists and ankles. How the coding of this game works is literally so fucking far beyond me. I pulled my limbs into myself, feeling the stiff resistance of time.

"Can you get up?"

Without needing to consider it I said, "no, I don't think so. Do you have any potions that will give me a boost?"

"Oh yes! I knew that if I found you, you'd need medical help immediately, so I spent all the gold from my—"

"All your gold??? Are you stupid?"

"Whaaaa? I-I... I—just—"

"Whatever. We'll figure it out. What potions do you have?"

She nodded very curtly, and pulled up her bag contents and read them off to me: "fifteen Good Health Potions, fifteen Great Health Potions, fifteen Fantastic Health Potions, ten Boost 'Ems, seven Leaves Of Health, two Gladiator Liquid Bandages and two Beats of Life. What'll it be?"

"Gimme a Boost 'Em."

She tapped on the icon and a Boot 'Em materialized in her hand. She put it out to me, but when I grabbed for it, she pulled away. I of course made eye contact with her, thinking she was gonna pull a fast one on me. Instead she said, "Valhalla."

"What?" My immediate confusion fell away into fear. This must be a trick. But why would she do that? It doesn't make any sense. I'm clearly smarter than her. It's me that's tricking her, why would she—

"That's my name. Valhalla."

The interruption of my panicked thinking threw me off guard. That's a stupid name. Before I could tell her how stupid I thought her name was she put the Boost 'Em in my hand.

Taking the potion, I had trouble removing the cork. Valhalla silently offered her help, but I shooed her away. I grumbled something about how I was perfectly capable of doing it myself.

With much effort and significant struggling, I yanked the cork out and threw it over my shoulder. Only for it to bounce off the wall and back into my lap. With the kind of drunken vigor seen at taverns I swallowed the creamy blue liquid. The moment it touched my lips, a feeling of power hit me like caffeine in a low-calorie energy drink. Going down my throat it felt like warm milk and honey. Electrifying energy flowed outward from my middle. It snaked its way through my arms and legs. It made my fingers and toes tingle like pins and needles.

I leapt up, a new man. I knew this wouldn't last long, and I knew that later this would end up hurting me more, but fuck.

Fuck this feels good.

"Do you have any weapons?"

"Uh, yeah." Valhalla pulled up her bag again and tapped on the Equipment tab. "What do you want?"

There were certainly more weapons than should have been in her bag if she had just started, let alone had spent all her starter gold on potions. I chose to ignore this. "I'll take the mace." I reached up and engaged with the weapon. The heavy steel handle materialized in my outstretched hand. By the look on her face, it must have been the first time Valhalla had seen anyone engage. I'm glad I was able to be the one to show her, in all the glory I could muster.

"This is a pretty nasty weapon, baby." I swung it a couple of times, feeling the weight; testing the blow power.

"I picked it up because I liked the color!"

I laughed, "I guess I overlooked the purple steel, but this will do nicely."

"Nicely for what?"

"Do me a favor, doll. You see that door over there? Go knock."

"Okay, but," she came right up close to me and stuck her face in mine, "I'm not a fucking doll."

"Noted."

I followed her as she warily walked to the door of the goblin woman's kitchen. Valhalla knocked timidly on the door.

"Come in!" The goblin wench cooed, "I just baked some fresh cookies! We can pose next to the body if you want!"

I caught Valhalla frown and furrow her brows at "the body".

Oh how sweet this will taste, I thought as adrenaline pumped through my veins. I passed in front of Valhalla whispering, "stay back."

I slid through the open door. The goblin hag had her back to me, this couldn't have been planned more perfectly. I crept up behind her with my mace raised above my head and my six-foot-five shadow engulfed her. She turned around with horror, a tray of cookies in hand. Her eyes widened and she tensed as if she were to scream.

But I didn't give her a chance.

"Your actions have consequences."

I let the mace fall down upon her head. The crack of her skull resonated harmoniously with the clang of the cookie sheet on the ground. Giddy joy sprung forth from me as I smashed the mace into her again and again. The second blow shattered her ribcage. Her ribs sprang up and splintered through her tissue. Smashing her hands made her fingers pop off, they flew in all directions. A blow to her thigh created a fountain. Warm blood hit my bare chest, my exposed legs. It splattered on my face. It coated my hands. It made the mace slippery in my hands. Her blood soaked what little was left of my shorts. It sprayed the walls, the kitchy table and chairs, the coffee pot and baking ingredients. Blood decorated the cookies that now laid scattered on the floor. 

Satisfied by the pulpy mound of oozing, squirting flesh and bone I subsided. Reaching down, I tore a blood-soaked rag from her dress. Turning to the wall I wrote LEAVE.

Standing back, I let out a heavy sigh. The effects of the Boost 'Em would soon wear off. I turned around and cracked my neck. I looked over in Valhalla's direction, but over her head. "I need some new clothes." I declared.

She stared at me. Her eyes pulled mine in and her mouth morphed into a grin, "fuck. YEAH!"

"Huh??????"

"Dude she called you 'the body'. And we both know that she was the reason you were stuck down here. Plus: THAT WAS AWESOME!!! I am so glad I came to find you! Best $130 dollars I ever spent." She then ran up and hugged me. The contact made me tense up.

I shook out of her embrace, "let's get out of this dungeon."

She led the way out. It was different from the way I had come in. We walked down the hallway that I had stared at for so long, hoping that somebody, anybody would come for me. Not ten feet into the tunnel we turned a corner and there was the exit. My stomach dropped. I felt sick.

It had been so close the whole time. Learning this made me want to revive that sonofabitch just to kill her all over again.

Emerging into the sunlight hurt my eyes. I was blinded.

What a sight we must have been. Myself: six-five, soaked in blood, starved, almost naked. Her: small, sweet-looking, fresh-faced, and not a drop of blood on her.

I still couldn't really see when somebody started talking. "Hey, are you guys okay?"

"Oh, we're fine," Valhalla sang sweetly sang sweetly next to me. At that very moment, I lost all my energy. My health bar plummeted, and sirens rang through my headset. My vison flashed red. I fell to the ground.

The group that had approached watched, alarmed. Valhalla looked like she wanted to eat her words.

Stupid girl. She had no idea what to do.

I had fifteen seconds before I'd die. This had happened once before when my former party and I had just started the game. We got attacked by a level 20 dragon and one strike had me seeing red.

10 seconds.

They were bickering about the best course of action. They had no idea I was on the brink of death. Valhalla stared at me looking like a lost idiot.

The sky began to spin. Valhalla's blurry silhouette swayed above me.

Did she forget about all that stuff she bought? How many gaming hours did she log before she came to find me? Did she even go on the tutorial adventure? I mean, you can technically skip it, but—

"BEAT." I coughed out then my head lolled.

The party erupted into tense panic.

5 seconds.

Oh please, please Valhalla. Please don't let me die. After all, you told me you came to save me. So save me!

Just as if she could hear my internal pleas, a beat was shoved in my mouth and my jaw forced upward from the outside to crush it. The juicy tuber gushed in my mouth. I felt Valhalla's hand on my lips, pressing down to keep everything in. I'd heard rumors of the experience of Beat of Life. Some players said they almost wish their party members would have let them die. The juice was hot, potent, and sour. So sour is made my jaw ache. It felt like someone was twisting a wheel, making my jaw tighter and tighter. My teeth felt like they were going to pop out of their gums. It burned my throat, made my eyes water and my nose run. My stomach did not want to accept it. I wanted to throw up, but I couldn't move. Hot flashes waved through my body. An ocean of churning heat pushed and pulled at my organs, my brain. I could feel myself sweating. Growing hotter by the moment. My head swam. My limbs grew numb. I passed out.

I was saved. Unconscious, but saved.

But Valhalla didn't know that. Stupid girl, skipping the tutorial. What was she thinking? Guess I'd have to ask her when I woke up.

And so I took off my headset and it was dusk.