#Visualization Center C

[rabbitcruiser]

The Visualization Center C in Norrköping was inaugurated on 27 May 2010 by Carl XVI Gustaf.    

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of happening to manage to go away to college ft. a shakespeare theater within walking distance & not just student pricing & pwyw but a freshman course taken at/with the theater / company, fun to think about all the nonzero exposure scattered all around to Theatre that i could be interested in & engaged with & respond to the idea of theatremaking big time but i had no context for this lmao like well i assume everyone adores Rehearsal & Playing A Role & Being Backstage or In The Greenroom just doing your own thing & the Idea of more of this, so that i feel neutral/average really

like on the note of no context, started dance classes as a Thing To Do when i was all of three? four? on the basis of [older sibling doing that] b/c like how else do i choose doing something. also did that w/[older sibling is being taught playing piano] + that i like to know how to do many things, like determined speedrunning of an edutainment learn to read computer program when i was three, except playing the piano never caught on for me (it'd be fine if it got to the point a song was muscle memory but i never got the hang of oh this note written here is [whatever it is without me having to count the steps in the staff] & ah that's here [without me having to look / count the keys]) so that was a miserable half hour weekdayly requirement for years. whereas dance was alright, & for a while the performance angle could be kind of fun for rehearsal, onstage, costuming, but didn't really have Roles, & was yknow everyone doing the same part at the same time & taller people in the back if there's rows, what older students did seemed more fun, plus like an annual nyc trip some did which didn't happen by the time it was relevant to me....but when it finally kind of kicked off like oh boy pointe shoes have panache & Make Noise (i suppose ideally you're quieter with it but ideally to me, Clonk Bonk Tap. & why not) but speaking of why not, that this also involved like oh shows that have Scenes & Roles even if this is all dance w/pantomime, got solos, costumes, more acting adjacent, more rehearsing, plenty of fun to me, unforch one of the most fun shows was ballet but in less Classical form & more character styles & i had the parent who could make anything into an ego issue who decided things Ought to be Classical despite knowing i enjoyed the more character style techniques as much or more lol so that was like, oh boy an adagio claire de lune quartet? pinch me. however a few more wins in there, fun getting to do a Cats inspired facepaint leg/armwarmers character that some absolute random audience member apparently liked so much their dad was like hey your number one fan, can we get a pic. which is in fact a great basis of an interaction to me

had a damper on dance class anyways from like lord the increasing gender "i'd rather not wear fitted dance garments" problems & my left knee getting more sensitive & my just more wearied like i don't see Fun Performances down the line, i was never doing this besides as a hobby, i'm gearing up to go to college where i kind of assume i could fail asap but the idea of keeping up with dance classes too is a bit much so what if we just didn't....meanwhile a drop of Drama(tm) in middle school, but just as like cycle of elective courses four per year so very Brief & i don't think was part of 6th grade's & yknow, middle school. but it was really fun to me still, not sure what all i even learned lol & yet. & like one time it was like uhh write your own scenes / play & Writing Original Stuff has never been a thing for me & is not only unrewarding but yknow difficult like i don't know. writing Vocab Sentences in like first grade i started to get annoyed at how contrived it felt & the teacher complained the sentences were too simple like clearly the context of what the word means is there but i'm sick of making up narrative beats & character arcs that have fuckall to do with me understanding what a bleacher is, but when i decided to Theme them on a computer game i enjoyed then i could rock n roll lol....anyway so Writing Material just became throwing preexisting characters in a bin & just being silly making jokes / stringing some fun plot along w/the acquaintances in the group assigned to be making this, & then Performing it was a high time i was like i love to do fun comedic stuff & be a villain, throwback to fourth grade and doing scenes from julius caesar like yaayyy nongendered casting b/c all the roles are guys anyway & i'm technically a villain which i enjoyyy, but i'm also like i wish anyone told me anything at all about acting techniques, i don't know what i'm doing beyond [talk loud enough]....feedback on the middle school class homemade performance was that nobody really knew what was supposed to be going on while watching it lmao like well that's fine b/c i'm not interested in writing fuckall, could've stood to have feedback that Enjoying Performing Onstage even that goofaroundly wasn't just expriencing the universal baseline lol ah well. my useful personalized feedback from middle school besides that as ever it was great that i got good grades & kept my head down (reading) was the librarian saying nobody checked out rebecca but i might like it, i did have fun & it's like oh nice when there's pleasant nontransactional gestures For No Reason i.e. you didn't even have to "earn" them, i was just getting to hang out reading in the library at the end of the school day. fond memory still like ah being readily handed one of the crushed oreos & gummy worm cups at the end of some early elementary school year Just Because i was there, wasn't that moved by like figurative pats on the head for good grades or what have you when i understood the conditionality of that just fine

in college like Introducing That Shakespeare Theatre like i sure did respond to getting to be up close & personal w/some professional actors & acting & plays, great time attending....kinda was tempted to get involved in the school theatre going on w/classes or productions but at this point it was like, i don't want my parents to be involved in anything at all ideally but especially not something i do suspect i'd genuinely enjoy & care about, plus it was like uh oh there'll be all these ppl older than me with even experience doing plays in high school & stuff :/ but another real damper was being around age peers incl my roommate who still Also had theatre experience & interest much more established & would be telling me like oh you're not a tenor if you're a man or oh you're not doing xyz right that way (based on their own perspective doing a whole other activity) like i love info & tips sure but not people feeling In Charge of me or even giving the awkward biting back genuine feedback wow nice good lmao....knowing some theatre people with theatre knowledge a bit helpful like oh these are some bway shows / cast recordings from like, the '00s & on, i've heard of Some of these, i've seen some macys parade show names....still just lacking context like what the hell Is broadway, just talked about like gonna take a while like it's this location & this technical capacity based venue designation & here's further context yet. still never really Did Theatre but seemed like a fun thing of Course ppl would be interested in, but luckily some Experiencing Performances, saw live stage shows in various mediums at various levels of professionality now & then, in retrospect like oh i think i saw some bway stuff Touring a few times, i just had no idea that was a ting, nobody explained shit lmao. disinterested parents who just kind of expected you to magically Pick Things Up by virtue of existing, but also don't ambiently pick up the things i don't want you to know about, you can bet it all always worked out great....parents at least a Bit interested in theatre / specific shows / recordings was certainly handy like oh okay not everyone would happen to be exposed to some shows even thusly, sure, but again like with no context / further info or really further way to engage with that....also backing off like i ripped off my siblings' pastime when i was three re: dance classes, just b/c their doing lively musical productions in high school seems super fun like i can't Also rip them off on that one (plus even like yeah family / parental proximity & attendance like eugh....)

like that the How Do You Even Get Context like all the time i'd be amazed if stuff i read or watched that i super enjoyed was like Also something i could find in the outside world, other people who liked it, even just the ability to procure it, like wow magical b/c yknow everything is just what i experienced by myself at home w/no significant onlineness yet or way to travel anywhere else. just pouncing on proximate enough things like queer & have to go to church? hell yeah tenor harmonies time & it's always Be Quieter Be Quieter lol well everyone else step it up, there's like 5x as many sopranos with 5x the rehearsal time going over The Melody....but seriously folks. only showing up late for an online breakout popular Current Bway Musical like oh hey btw what Is any of this? & still don't much know what goes on but at least a little more than i did for sure, plus i just don't keep my finger on the pulse of fuckall, i'm not so much more likely to check out musicals for the sake of being musicals so much more than i do movies b/c they're movies, maybe a little more likely though sure lol....& i just have more of that context like ohhh yeah i did super big time like doing live performance & theatremaking stuff the ways i got to / related activities, i just figured like well me & everyone else having the exact same response i'm sure. or same with enjoying taking it in, i suppose

which nowadays it's still like bummer i Never took in any acting technique just b/c it annoys me not to have anything besides idk making it up, also bummer idk how to sing any better than [also making it up] like no technique known barely in the same way, & i just like knowing things, i'd value knowing it just for singing to myself when nobody's around & i like to do a little performing too when pertinent, e.g. more than survive in the kitchen & i'm doing the choreography lol....utterly abstract though like i love to See people acting the crap out of acting & be like oh shit damn wowww, don't Really feel like ah actor au me is just over there....not even sure like ah you can be backstage in other ways, like i do not know how lol plus likewise i just don't think it's gonna come up yknow like we'll cross bridges when we come to them, who knows in this life. but i'm having the highest time ever as Audience, not live & in person but online & lively, like oh fuck yes finally digging into the relatively nicher more specific theatre live performace acting singing musicaling stuff i'd more specifically enjoy like pointing hands to head yelling are you seeing thising getting everything that i want so i do feel like it's worked out well. maybe low level for randos acting / singing instructing just cuz i like to Know & have the Option to wrangle playing around w/effects one can engage with but in the meantime like i Have always cherished proximity & audienceship so. fr Yayyy 💖

[fozmeadows]

There's a lot of conversations to be had around the current influx of Americans to Xiaohongshu (RedNote/Little Red Book) ahead of the TikTok ban, many of which are better articulated by more knowledgeable people than me. And for all the fun various parties of both nationalities seem to having with memes and wholesome interactions, it's undoubtedly true that there's also some American entitlement and exoticization going on, which sucks. But a sentiment I've seen repeatedly online is that, if it's taken actually speaking to Chinese people and viewing Chinese content for Americans to understand that they've been propagandized to about China and its people, then that just proves how racist they are, and I want to push back on that, because it strikes me as being a singularly reductive and unhelpful framing of something far more complex.

Firstly: while there's frequently overlap between racism and xenophobia, the distinction between them matters in this instance, because the primary point of American propaganda about China is that Communism Is Fundamentally Evil And Unamerican And Never Ever Works, and thinking a country's government sucks is not the same as thinking the population is racially inferior. The way most Republicans in particular talk about China, you'd think it was functionally indistinguishable from North Korea, which it really isn't. Does this mean there's no critique to be made of either communism in general or the CCP? Absolutely not! But if you've been told your whole life that communist countries are impoverished, corrupt and dangerous because Communism Never Works, and you've only really encountered members of the Chinese diaspora - i.e., people whose families left China, often under traumatic circumstances, because they thought America would be better or safer - rather than Chinese nationals, then no: it's not automatically racist to be surprised that their daily lives and standard of living don't match up with what you'd assumed. Secondly: TikTok's userbase skews young. While there's certainly Americans in their 30s and older investigating Xiaohongshu, it seems very reasonable to assume that the vast majority are in their teens or twenties - young enough that, barring a gateway interest in something like C-dramas, danmei or other Chinese cultural products, and assuming they're not of Chinese descent themselves, there's no reason why they'd know anything about China beyond what they've heard in the news, or from politicians, or from their parents, which is likely not much, and very little firsthand. But even with an interest in China, there's a difference between reading about or watching movies from a place, and engaging firsthand, in real time, with people from that place, not just through text exchanges, but in a visual medium that lets you see what their houses, markets, shopping centers, public transport, schools, businesses, infrastructure and landmarks look like. Does this mean that what's being observed isn't a curated perspective on China as determined both by Xiaohongshu's TOU and the demographic skewing of its userbase? Of course not! But that doesn't mean it isn't still a representative glimpse of a part of China, which is certainly more than most young Americans have ever had before.

Thirdly: I really need people to stop framing propaganda as something that only stupid bigots fall for, as though it's possible to natively resist all the implicit cultural biases you're raised with and exist as a perfect moral being without ever having to actively challenge yourself. To cite the sacred texts:

Like. Would the world be a better place if everyone could just Tell when they're being lied to and act accordingly? Obviously! But that is extremely not how anything actually works, and as much as it clearly discomforts some to witness, the most common way of realizing you've been propagandized to about a particular group of people is to interact with them. Can this be cringe and awkward and embarrassing at times? Yes! Will some people inevitably say something shitty or rude during this process? Also yes! But the reality is that cultural exchange is pretty much always bumpy to some extent; the difficulties are a feature, not a bug, because the process is inherently one of learning and conversation, and as individual people both learn at different rates and have different opinions on that learning, there's really no way to iron all that out such that nobody ever feels weird or annoyed or offput. Even interactions between career diplomats aren't guaranteed smooth sailing, and you're mad that random teenagers interacting through a language barrier in their first flush of enthusiasm for something new aren't doing it perfectly? Come on now.

Fourthly: Back before AO3 was banned in China, there was a period where the site was hit with an influx of Chinese users who, IIRC, were hopping over when one of their own fansites got shut down, which sparked a similar conversation around differences in site etiquette and how to engage respectfully. Which is also one of the many things that makes the current moment so deeply ironic: the US has historically criticized China for exactly the sort of censorship and redaction of free speech that led to AO3 being banned, and yet is now doing the very same thing with TikTok. Which is why what's happening on Xiaohongshu is, IMO, such an incredible cultural moment: because while there are, as mentioned, absolutely relevant things to be said about (say) Chinese censorship, US-centrism, orientalism and so on, what's ultimately happening is that, despite - or in some sense because of - the recent surge in anti-Chinese rhetoric from US politicians, a significant number of Americans who might otherwise never have done so are interacting directly with Chinese citizens in a way that, whatever else can be said of it, is actively undermining government propaganda, and that matters.

What it all most puts me in mind of, in fact, is a quote from French-Iranian novelist and cartoonist Marjane Satrapi, namely:

“The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same.”

And at this particular moment in history, this strikes me as being a singularly powerful realization for Americans in particular to have.

[fortunxa]

── .✦ H E A D C A N O N #3

Jinx’s stupidly pretty and stupidly sensitive G!P. . .

#cw. gp!Jinx x fem!reader (established relationship), detailed description, happy trail, sensitive!Jinx + overstimulation, unprotected sex. mdni .ᐟ.ᐟ

Jinx masterlist ⭑.ᐟ

Jinx knows she’s pretty all over.

She might joke about it, talk shit, act like it’s no big deal—but the way she smirks when your eyes drop? The way she shifts her hips to show it off just a little more? Yeah, she knows. And she loves that you’re looking.

It’s in the way she leans back, already grinning, already smug. It’s how she tugs her pants down like she’s showing off a trick she’s been dying to play on you. She lays back like a bratty exhibitionist, legs spread, cock already leaking against her stomach. “I know, right?” she says when she catches you staring. “She’s cute. Wanna kiss her?” Because yes, Jinx absolutely talks about her cock like it’s alive and personified. Sometimes it’s she. Sometimes it’s he. She’ll say dumb shit like, “I don’t know what gender she is, babe—she just wants attention.” Or, “She missed your throat. Wanna say hi?”

Her body’s a show, and she’s naturally blue—head to toe. Her happy trail starts just under her navel, faint and dusty at first, then darker and denser the lower it dips. A soft, messy arrow that leads your mouth exactly where she wants it. She doesn’t shave for anyone. If she’s smooth, it’s because she felt like being smooth. But most of the time? She’s not bare. She trims just enough to see her length clearly, maybe cleans up the sides a bit. It’s not porn-slick, not fully wild either, just hers.

She’s not huge—just above average—but it’s so visually pleasing, fitting her body perfectly. It’s not thick enough to hurt unless she’s fucking you rough, but long enough to hit deep. Smooth, flushed, curved perfectly for grinding up against your spot when you’re on top, veins barely visible unless she’s really worked up. Her tip? A mess. Soft pink, always glossy with precum, sensitive to the point of being unreasonable, with a cute beauty mark sitting just off-center on the underside. Sometimes, when she’s sleepy and fucked-out, she’ll mutter, “D’you like her?” like her cock is a separate, precious thing she’s offering you.

You say yes, because it’s the kind of pretty that looks good ruined. And god, she’s so easy to ruin. You brush your thumb over the slit once and she gasps like you’ve electrocuted her. You suck on it and she jerks like she didn’t see it coming. Half the time she can’t look at you when you’re going down on her because it’s too much.

It’s that sensitivity that humbles her.

She wants to hold out for you. She wants to thrust deep and slow, make you fall apart like you’re the sensitive one. But you clench once, and her moans shoot up an octave. You ride her slow and tight, and she’s clawing at your hips, gasping, “fuckfuckfuck I’m gonna—” She pulls out halfway just to breathe, shuts her eyes like maybe if she doesn’t see you, she can reset. She grits her teeth and slows her hips even when her body’s screaming to chase it. “Okay…” she whispers, mostly to herself. “Okay, I’ve got it. I’m not gonna—not yet. I can hold it—fuck, don’t clench like that—”

She can’t hold it. She’s coming before you know it, messy and helpless. She always says she’s sorry, even when you’re still full and milking her through the aftershocks. But you love how easy it is to wreck her. How just a little pressure, a warm mouth, or the bare heat of your cunt can leave her shaking. She whimpers, begs, sobs into your shoulder… but she’s still thrusting. Because Jinx is hypersensitive, yet she never really learned how to hold back when it comes to wanting something. She gets lost in it, addicted. She just stays there, clinging to you, whispering, “Can I try again? I’ll last longer this time. Promise.”

And sometimes, she does. Sometimes, she lasts so long she’s shaking not from pleasure but from the effort of control, drunk off the high of it. “I did it,” she’ll mutter, dazed, one hand petting your thigh just to make sure you’re real, like it’s the prize she fought for. “Like, real talk—I fucking did it.” And then she laughs, breathy and giddy.

Raw is her favorite. Of course it is. She says it’s because she likes the heat—because condoms are annoying, because she wants to feel everything even if it’s too much sometimes—but it’s more than that. It’s about intimacy, connection, skin on skin. The feeling of being so deep inside you that you shudder when she moves. And she loves when her cum drips out after. She loves seeing it on your thighs, between your legs, knowing it was hers.

Because Jinx’s cock may be sensitive, but she knows how to use it when she lasts.

almost 800 words of pure visuals. her GP stands for Goddamn Pretty.

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Curse Your Name

𖤐❝Apricity❞𖤐

❥Vampire Ateez x fem reader

❝What is destined cannot be avoided.❞

Masterlist + Visualizers, Index

✫彡wordcount: 12k

(✯◡✯)genre: yandere, fantasy, smut, angst

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: see general warnings in the masterlist: slightly dubcon blood drinking (reader is drunk but chill with it), non-sexual semi nudity, deep emotions from blood drinking, smidge of hongjoong's backstory and its :(((, reader fighting with herself (soul vs mind). smut warnings: corruption kink so bad like soooo bad, clit and nipple stimulation, dirty talk, kissing, hickeys, biting + blood sucking, heavyyy praise, light dacryphilia, first orgasm

➯a/n: MATZ DRINKING SCENE I TOLD YOU I WOULNT LEAVE YALL IN THE DARK ALSO BUCKLE TF UP YOOOO

✫bleeding hearts✫@spenceatiny18 @gigglensnort @londonbridges01 @soobieboobiebaby @klllerwaifu @stayatinykatsy @onyxmango @purple-bell @peachyscenes @emilysecresy @ninjakitty15 @imeverycliche @princelingperfect @tunafishyfishylike

❝Drink from me and live... forever.❞

MDNI.

𖤐❝Be gentle with our girl.❞𖤐

    "You smell so good," Seonghwa pants quietly as he yanks at the ribbon on the back of your dress.

He can hardly hold himself back from sinking his teeth into you. He has to remind himself to be gentle with you. "Like the sweetest fucking dessert. Oh, thank you. Sweet heavens, thank you."

    "C-careful, My King," you stumble, placing your hands against the wall for stability.

     The candles that Hongjoong light are the only source of illumination in your chambers. The sun is long gone. 

     "Come," Seonghwa pulls you to the center of the room, gathering up your skirt in his hands, "off with this already." He leaves a kiss to your jaw before he pulls the garment up and over your head; leaving you in your plain shift.

    Before you have the chance to even feel embarrassed, Hongjoong's hands are on your waist. "You've made the King so eager," he chuckles as he eyes the way he's breathing heavily, scanning your body like he can see through the fabric.

Seonghwa's eyes are glowing red in the dim light. "You are more beautiful than I have ever dreamt of. The Goddess has outdone herself in your creation." He hums as he leans and presses his nose to your jugular. Your heart is beating so violently that he swears he can feel it.

Apparently, praise isn't affective in making you swoon only if it comes from the Lieutenant.

Your hands find his shoulders with a mind of their own, your breaths short as Hongjoong leads you both to the bed.

Your shift slides up your thighs as you land on the Kings lap, one leg on either side of him. "Be gentle with our girl," Hongjoong coos as he slips the thin sleeve off of your shoulder, exposing your flesh for him as he watches with ruby eyes.

"Grentizia," Seonghwa prays as he tilts his head back, his chest heaving.

    "Drink from her neck," he tilts your head to the side gently, "it's her favorite. Isn't it, little one?"

    You hum affirmatively, leaning into the way he grips your hair carefully. You don't know what's come over you. A few days ago, you were hesitant to even let the trio that you first met drink from you — now you find yourself thinking that if any of the royals asked you nicely, you'd expose your veins without a single trace of hesitation.

You think it must be the wine — but in reality, being so close to them is already affecting your soul.

Your souls are mingling even if your mind is lagging behind.

And your soul is desperate to please.

   You gasp sharply as his teeth sink into your neck without warning. You grab onto his pink strands, grounding yourself as he feasts.

Hongjoong watches with something... fond, as Seonghwa runs through all of the emotions that he also felt the first time he tasted you; holding your head to the side and kissing your temple softly as you chase your breath.

Praise The Goddess, Seonghwa thinks. And then, another thought to follow. One that does not go away —

Praise you, his delicate soulmate. The last missing piece of his life's puzzle that he has waited centuries for. Praise you.

Seonghwa growls into your neck as he sucks more and more, his hands finding your waist and holding onto you like you'll slip away if his grip falters for even a split second.

This is more than just feeding to him. This feels akin to making love. The warmth of your blood settles in his stomach and blooms out to his entire body. His skin is so warm and tingling. It's taking much more willpower than he would like to admit to hold himself from bucking his hips into you.

    It just feels so ethereal.

He can't help but slurp up every bit of crimson liquid you offer to him, even as you waiver on top of him dizzily and brace yourself with his hair. He can't be bothered to feel the sting.

Your heated body slumps against him, your blood sweltering against his tongue; taking root in his body like an ancient tree. You make him feel like... when he was human.

When he was not used to always being cold — when he would stand under the sun in the dead of winter and bask in it.

He closes his eyes, slowly withdrawing his teeth in a way that makes you shiver; makes you press closer to him. He wraps his arms around your torso tightly, cradling you as he lets you wash over him. Like the sunshine in the bitter cold.

He places his forehead against your chest, his fingers wrapping around Hongjoong's as the man holds his hand.

The King would never admit it out loud to anyone other than his soulmates — even then, he was hesitant. But he is a sentimental man. In life, and in afterlife.

After so many years of being the leader of an entire realm, it's beaten into him not to show weakness. Not to show affection.

Yet as he looks up at you, his eyes are filled with nothing but softness and warmth in the dimming red color of his irises. "Di enar, Elarin." {Thank you, the sun.}

You blink dazedly, you've never heard that language before; but the way he speaks so purposefully as he holds you makes your lips twitch with a smile.

Unbeknownst to you, Hongjoong is behind you with the biggest grin ever on his face. He's about to start bouncing off the walls at Seonghwa's sweet words.

He had called you something akin to 'Sunshine', and he threw it in with the deepest level of thanks that one could speak in the dead language.

"Do you feel okay?" Seonghwa traces his hand up your back, "did I hurt you?" He's afraid he might have — he was so lost in his own emotions. He's never had to hold himself back when it comes to his soulmates.

You shake your head slowly, "no, My King-"

"Seonghwa." He speaks softly, fixing up the strap of your shift, "call me Seonghwa. I would prefer it that way." He looks to Hongjoong as he slips your other sleeve down, exposing your untainted skin.

He's on you in a millisecond, kissing and licking all over your shoulder and making you gasp. "May I?"

With a shuddering 'yes', you tilt your head on your own; giving him a prime location to sink his teeth in.

He kisses your cheek before doing just that.

Seonghwa chuckles as the younger man pushes you both flat to the bed, climbing behind you and all but purring as he drinks your life force.

Good Goddess, he thinks, you're still as sweet as the first time. You have his entire body feeling like it's floating.

Seonghwa watches, just as Hongjoong did, as the other Vampire goes through the motions. He's looks so blissful. Like he doesn't have a care in the realm.

"You are so divine," the King whispers as his eyes find their way back to watch your expression; the way your eyebrows twitch and your lips stay parted in attempt to catch your breath.

When you let out the smallest moan from your trembling lips — Hongjoong can no longer pride himself in his self discipline.

    He promised himself just a sip, just a small bite. You were already dizzy and panting from the amount of blood your other soulmate had helped himself to.

     But he can't help himself when you make such cute sounds.

    His mind is wandering further from the pure euphoria that he feels and into his darker desires. Finding himself wondering what kind of noises you might make if he put his mouth to use elsewhere. What you might sound like as —

    Hongjoong forces himself to stop, growling quietly from behind you as he closes his eyes, trying to shake the image from his head. 

     "Thank you for allowing us," Seonghwa whispers just over Hongjoong's heavy breaths, "you truly have no idea how... satisfying it is. You are like nothing else I've ever encountered in all of my years."

You lean into the way he strokes your head, dizzy and sweaty between them as your heart tries to crack out from behind your ribs. "Th...thank you, Seonghwa."

He closes his eyes quickly, in the same way Hongjoong does — taking deep, steadying breaths.

The way you speak his name feels like he's being cursed with the most beautiful hex. His heart jumps into his throat, thud-thud-thudding while trying to match yours as it slows to a calmer rhythm.

He tightens one of his arms around you, holding you to his chest while the other searches for the younger vampire. He yanks him down, effortlessly sandwiching you between them.

"Please..." You rasp, closing your eyes slowly, "stay with me until the morning comes."

"You would have to force us to do otherwise," Hongjoong smiles as he rests his head on your back, listening to your heartbeat and committing it to his memory.

A pleased hum trails off into nothing as you fall asleep between them, spent with blood loss but still pleasantly warm between the two cold-blooded men.

𖤐❝Answer me something honestly?❞𖤐

You had moved, or rather — you had been moved, during the night to lay on your side.

Still between the royals, still deep asleep.

Neither of them had slept a wink. They sat in the comfortable silence until the beginnings of sunlight shone through the window.

"Hongjoong." The elder whispers, his eyes still closed as he holds your head to his chest. "Answer me something honestly?"

"Of course," he hums from behind you, his chest pressed to your back under the cover they had pulled up to keep you warm.

"How did you feel when you drink from her? Not- not how does she taste," he peeks his eyes open slowly, blinking in the face of the rising sun. "How does it make you feel?"

The younger thinks for a long moment, recalling every time that he's fed from you. He feels... so much. It's hard to put a single description to it. But there is one reoccurring thing — "I feel... like I am back in the moment I won my freedom in a dual." He gulps, pressing closer to your sleeping form. He hadn't said it out loud yet. He hadn't even fully realized it.

Seonghwa reaches over and rubs his shoulder comfortingly. It's a sensitive subject for the man. "Then, why do you enjoy it so much?"

"It's not the dual. It's not what led to it," he shakes his head. "It is when I ran for the first time without being hunted. When I had no owner, no shackles for the first time in my life. She... she is the comfort of the wind around me as I ran away, the comfort of knowing I could do whatever I wanted."

He can tell the brunet is tearing up, and it makes his throat tighten unpleasantly. He hates seeing people cry, but especially his soulmates. "Don't cry, Joong," he whispers, rubbing his head softly, "please..."

He sniffs, burying his head deeper into your back. "Why do you ask? What did you feel?"

    Seonghwa hesitates. It's a similar situation to Hongjoong's, a bittersweet comfort. "I-"

    "Good morrow, My Lady, h-" Ymanya pauses in the doorway with her hand still on the wooden handle. She takes in the scene for a brief moment before she suddenly folds herself over at the waist, bending more than ninety degrees. "Forgive me, M-"

    "Ymanya, let me ask you something."

    "...Yes, My King?"

    Seonghwa sits up slowly, still in his day clothes — and she doesn't know why that gives her a bit of relief. "Has there been anything that the Lady has asked for?"

    "Asked for?" She hums for a second as she thinks. "Oh, she did want to learn about Halazia traditions," she recalls from the other night. "Might that be what you mean?"

    He looks to you with a bit of a smile. "That's all?"

    "So far, King," she nods, still hovering in the doorway, unsure of what to do.

    "Gather her some books," he says as he stands, leaning and kissing Hongjoong's head from where he hides his emotional face in your back. "Perhaps some of Mingi's writings. Whatever you think she will be curious about. Your morning duties are dismissed. Do that instead, please."

    "Right away, My King. Shall I send Gele to ready h-"

   "No," Hongjoong groans mumbled, pulling you closer as you shift in your sleep, "leave us, Ymanya. We will help Our Lady dress when she awakens. She needs to rest."

    "Of course, My Lord." She bows again, hiding her smile as she closes the door behind her. She's glad that the royals are caring for you, even going as far to ask her what you might want. She can't say she's surprised. They have waited over 300 years.

    Of course they'd be fussing over you so much.

  She can't help but be happy. You have been here a mere three days and already she sees changes happening. For one, the royals have been smiling almost every time she's seen them.

    She was right. It will be nice to have someone like you in the castle.

𖤐❝You'll let me learn?❞𖤐

     "Drink up," Wooyoung smiles as he slides you a cup.

    You're all at the table again, bathed in the early morning sunlight rather than the candles of last night.

   "What's this, Lord Jung?" You ask as you sniff the steaming liquid. You're sat between Yeosang and Jongho, and there was clearly a small fight over who got the title of being next to you —

    As you were walking in with the two eldest, they all were pushing and shoving to get to the chairs next to the one what was 'yours' in the middle of the long table. All Seonghwa had to do was sigh drastically and they all fell into their respective positions.

    "Moondew berry and bloodvine tea," he reaches over the table and pats your head before sitting.

   "Ah..." You nod as you look down at the drink.

    "You have no idea what those are, do you?" San asks with a grin as he sees your thoughtful pout.

  "Absolutely not, My Lord." You sigh, cracking a small smile at the sound of their laughter, "what are they?"

    "Moondew berries help with headaches, and bloodvine is the stem of a flower which helps with heart health. It will help you get your blood back faster," Wooyoung explains for you, gesturing to the cup, "at least have half. If you don't enjoy it I can find something else to aid you."

   You take the cup carefully and give it another inspection. After you take a sip, you nod to him; taking another.

   "Good?" He beams, over the moon at the fact that he managed to make the herbal remedy taste good enough for you.

   "Yes, thank you, My L-" Your voice is muffled as he jumps up and leans over the table again, cupping your cheeks and giving you a kiss.

    He pulls back with a cheshire grin, absolutely buzzing with delight.

   You freeze for a moment, dazed, still not even close to being used to their affection when it's pointed at you.

  The conversation carries on without you as you come back to your senses, sipping the drink as you listen in.

    "-thinking about sending Amfrid in my place. I don't want to leave so soon." Jongho leans his chin on his hand, looking at you in the corner of his eye.

    "Understandable," Seonghwa definitely wouldn't want to leave so soon after you've joined them either, "brief him today and send him on his way- Hongjoong," he snaps as he thinks, "who is that new recruit? With the blonde hair?"

    "Torin. He's got potential." Hongjoong answers quickly, sliding his fruit off his plate and onto yours. 

    "Tell him take Talin," the King nods, distracted as he sees Ymanya approaching with an armful of books.

    "Torin," Yeosang's little grumble of correction earns him a chuckle from you as you push the food around on your plate.

    "What have you got, Ymanya?" He stands, taking the heavy weight from her hold quickly and allowing her arms to sag to her side.

    "Origins of Halazia traditions starting within your reign, My King." Her words get you interested in the conversation, leaning to look past Jongho. He leans back as he notices you, letting you look.

    The stack of books is almost as big as your head. That's just the history of the traditions? How big is the stack of regular history? 

    He flips through the pages of one of the books, nodding approvingly. "Thank you, Ymanya, these will do nicely."

    She gives you a bow and a smile as she leaves, "enjoy, My Lady."

    Your eyebrows raise, and you look to Seonghwa as he continues to scan the books. Please be for you. Please let the books be for you.

    "What are those for," Mingi speaks as he sees your patience wavering.

    "Ymanya said Our Lady is curious about our traditions," Hongjoong grabs one of the books, reading the label. 'Human sacrif-' He tosses it quickly, "not that one."

    "You'll let me learn?" You finally speak up with wide, hopeful eyes.

     "Of course," Seonghwa hums as he closes the book, "you live here now. You should have some education on our way of th-"

    How you managed to sneak up on the Vampire is a mystery. It's impossible to catch him off guard. But here you are, with your arms wrapped around his waist and his body completely frozen with shock. "Oh, thank you!"

 

   You jump as you let go just as quickly as you embraced him, immediately turning to the books as the others laugh at the man's surprised expression.

    You were a painfully curious person by nature. It probably didn't help that your father had neglected to teach you about anything other than religion.

You wanted to learn everything you could, and you did. The books in Caethnor were limited to the ones in the small library in the church, but you read every single one a thousand times over. Not only did you love to read, it would do you good to know more about the place that you now reside. You wanted to know everything about the world around you. About the people. About the flora and fauna.

The bell outside tolls shortly, signaling the end of the hour. Begrudgingly, Hongjoong sets down the book in his hand back into the pile. "We must get busy," he slides his hand across your waist as he joins your side, "might I have a kiss before I leave?"

You look up from the books with the biggest smile he's yet to see on your face, "thank you, Lord Kim." You say before you quickly peck his cheek.

"You're welcome, little one." He'll take it, he won't push you for a kiss on the lips. He's already held you for the entire night. He gives a final squeeze to your hip as he passes behind you, "come on, Yeosang."

The man stands up and pauses, "(Y/n)?"

"Yes, My Lord?"

"Be sure to eat," he points to your nearly full plate as he gathers his coat from the back of his chair.

"Oh, of course," you bow to him, and he has a deep itching urge to also ask for a kiss. He wants to feel your skin on his in any manner at all, really. He wants to feel the sparks. But you still seem very reserved with him. So he settles on —

"See you at supper."

You give him a soft smile, squeaking when San appears at your side and bends over to hug you tightly. "Have a good day," he hums with his cheek against yours.

"Y-you too, My Lord?" You stutter out, startled by his sudden actions.

"What is on your schedule today, Yunho?" Seonghwa asks as he tears his eyes from the sight which makes his heart tender and warm.

"I have a test planned for the apprentice mages later in the day, other than that," he shrugs, reaching for a glass of water. He knows it won't quench his thirst, but he must try. He has to have restraint when it comes to you, especially now that you're also bleeding for the others. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you.

    Perhaps he should just keep his distance for a few days —

    "You should help (Y/n) with her reading," Seonghwa says it like a suggestion, but he knows it's more of a command. "You know a lot about regional traditions." He takes San's place next to you and cups your jaw as he kisses your cheek. He can't help the grin that he has when he pulls back, your heart is pumping so fast and your skin is so warm. "Be a good student, yeah?"

𖤐❝I can't wait to teach you all kinds of things.❞𖤐

You are a good student. Yunho had never seen anyone so eager to learn about where traditions and ceremonies came from. The next day, San had never seen someone so determined to learn how to sew. After that, Mingi couldn't wait to spend the day teaching you about his visions and hearing all about your villages small variations from the realms religion.

Today marked seven days of being in the castle. You went outside for the first time, much to Seonghwa's dismay. Yeosang eased his worries about their defenses not being strong enough by reminding him that you wouldn't be leaving his side, and Gele would also be accompanying you.

You didn't have to ask why they needed defenses, you aren't clueless. Some people hate the fact that the undead are ruling. Some people hate the undead, period.

You used to be one of them.

But over the days, you've come to see a whole new side of Vampiric life. They were still human, deep down. Sometimes you forgot they were hundreds of years old and equipped with supernatural abilities.

"You must have to be strong to use a bow with such precision," you say from the sidelines, seated on the grass atop of Gele's apron after she insisted a Lady should not touch the ground. You were still hesitant, but she reassured you that it was okay. You still felt bad, though. Perhaps you could get San to help you make her one as a thanks. "Is the string very difficult to pull back?"

     Yeosang pouts in thought as he readies another arrow. It doesn't matter that he's been an archer for 346 years, he still practices every day. That's why he's the best. "I suppose so, I think I am used to it." He barely has to aim before he lets the arrow whiz through the air and hit the hay bale dead center.

     The expansive field is just off of the back of the hill that the castle is situated upon. The brick stairs made the journey up and down less steep, and it was clear the path was cared for just as well as the inside of the estate. Bushes and flowers were all carefully arranged and trimmed and taken care of as they were strewn about strategically.

You're learning the layout fairly quickly, with an admittedly large amount of help.

The King's office window overlooks the entire area from the top floor. The chapel where Mingi works and prays is on the bottom floor, the first door you find after you enter through the double doors that lead out. San's workshop is next to it.

     Closest to the castle was the greenhouse, which acted as Wooyoung's office, and was quite literally green except for the large windows around the entire building. You wonder if he did that on purpose or if he might be the origin of the word. He had poked his head out when he saw you coming down the stairs and called you over for a kiss, pouting over how you hadn't spent time with him even though you just sat next to him at breakfast.

     A little further back was the stables, where you ran into Jongho as he readied his own horse; getting ready to head into the city. You gave him a kiss to the cheek and told him to return safely — which earned you a bit of light natured teasing from Gele as you walked to the open part of the field. 

It was large enough to accommodate all the different divisions of the guard as they trained. You could hear Hongjoong directing the fighters if you strained your ears. You looked over a bit ago and saw him fighting, and it was quite the frightening sight to see him throw punch after punch while dodging and not even breaking a sweat. You looked back to the archers pretty quickly.

"It has to be sturdy enough so that it will not break when you pull it back. It can be difficult for a beginner," Yeosang goes to notch another arrow before he stops and looks at you.

     The sun must be hitting him directly, because he feels warm all of the sudden as you smile at him.

     "It's impressive! You haven't missed a single shot," you tilt your head, "I do suppose you've had a great deal of practice, My Lord?"

    "Enough practice for multiple lifetimes," he laughs softly, looking down at his longbow. San crafted it nearly fifty years ago. He's had to replace the string countless times from his nonstop use of the weapon. He never let anyone touch it, not even the weapons master. San to make repairs, or the one or two times he's tossed it to Wooyoung on the battle field. But that is the extent of who handles his precious bow. "Would you like to try?"

    "I doubt I will be any good."

    "I, too, was once a beginner," he approaches with a grin and holds his hand out to you. "I did say I would teach you, didn't I? What better time to start than now?"

    You look over your shoulder to Gele, who's leaning against another hay bale. "Don't look to me, Lady (Y/n)," she giggles, "I have never shot a bow. I preferred a sword in my day."

      "I want to see that." You point at her before turning back to Yeosang. "Don't judge me too harshly, Lord Kang." You take his hand and almost jump at the sparks that bloom on your skin. You must have forgotten briefly. Your brain still hasn't caught up to the fact that you, indeed, have not just one — but multiple soulmates.

     "I will never," he hides his giddy smile by looking down at the vibrant grass. It's the first time you've touched one another, and he couldn't be more happy to have finally grazed each part of his soul that wanders outside of his body.

"Watch me closely." He grips the bottom of the bow and looks over to you, pleased to see that you're watching him intently. He runs through all of the steps right up to pulling the string back and then he stops. "Again?"

"I think I have got it." Based on what they're learning about you; he doesn't doubt that, actually. You're a very quick learner. He likes that about you. He likes a lot about you, when he thinks about it.

You're a very driven person. You only learned how to sew from San the day before last and he saw you working on a quilt with scrap fabrics to practice this morning before breakfast.

He hands his bow to you without a second thought, watching you closely as you follow his steps. Right up to notching the arrow and pinching the end of it. "You seem a natural."

"Our Lady will be catching up to you in no time, Lord Kang," Gele jokes as she takes a seat on the apron, watching you repeat the preparation of the bow.

"We will have to see about that," he gives her a small chuckle before he steps next to you. "Try to pull it back, see how far you can bring it."

"Are you sure? My arms are pretty weak..." You hesitate, re-settling the arrow one more time.

"Just to see," he shrugs, "you needn't be perfect. I don't expect you to be."

Joining his family after so long makes you perfect enough in his eyes.

"Do not laugh at me," you take a breath before pulling it back in the way you had watched him do. It only moves a fraction of an inch. "Good Goddess, I have more respect for archers now." You sigh as you lower the bow, jumping a bit when he lifts it back up — suddenly standing behind you.

"I will help you," he can't help but smirk as he hears your heart skip a beat. "I will help you hold it steady and pull back, you do the aiming."

"A-alright." You force yourself to ignore the tingles on your hand as he places one over yours, the other above yours on the wood of the bow.

"When you pull the string back, take a breath in," he says as he helps you, doing most of the heavy lifting. But he can tell you're still giving it all of your strength by the way your arm trembles, you don't let him do all of the work.

You do so, filling your lungs with the fresh fall air.

"Focus only on where you want the arrow to hit. Forget everything else as you aim."

As long as you hit the hay bale, you'll be satisfied with yourself. Just hit the hay. It's a fairly big target. You don't have to hit it smack dab in the middle where all of his arrows lie. Anywhere in the circle, and you will be pleased.

He lets you move the bow to aim, still holding it with you.

"When you are ready to fire, let go of your breath and the arrow at the same time."

Your arms are beginning to shake just a little more, and you grimace in frustration for being so weak.

Forget everything else.

Just the hay. You can do that.

He lets go with you when he hears you let out your breath, smiling widely as the arrow flies through the air and hits the outer corner of the circle.

"Woah!" Gele claps from your previous spot, "you kick ass, My Lady!"

    "Oh, Goddess!" You jump excitedly, turning to face him, "I hit it!"

"I saw," he chuckles as he takes the bow carefully. "You have good aim for a beginner. Perhaps you are a natural."

"Thank you," you bow a bit, smiling as you turn to look at the arrow now lodged into the hay. "If you say so."

"I do," he nods, looking down at you, "you're a quick learner. I can't wait to teach you all kinds of things."

𖤐❝Kiss me like you mean it.❞𖤐

The next day, you and Yunho finished an entire book together in only two hours, even with all of your questions and your admittedly low knowledge of how to read the language.

"Yunho mi," you call from your seat among the books. He commented about how you need a bookcase as he saw them all on the cushioned bench at the end of the bed.

"You have another question?" He hums from his place leaned back on the pillows, looking down to you.

"Yes, actually, but..."

He tilts his head curiously, "what is it?" He sits up, lowering the book he holds into his lap.

"I was wondering... what the ceremony is called when a human loses their virginity to a Vampire so that I can read about it and know what to expect." You ramble out quickly, keeping your back turned to him as he processes your words.

"Oh," he nods, "of course, (Y/n) mi!" He jumps up quickly, kneeling in front of you and the pile of books in a millisecond. "I can't believe nobody has told you about this yet. Ah, it should be in here."

He offers you one of the hardbacks titled 'Human and Vampiric Relations', smiling softly as you take it. "It is called The Soul Embrace. Do you want me to go over it with you?"

"It would be much appreciated," you say with a slight tremor in your voice.

He turns to the chapter you're looking for, taking a seat next to you.

The veil between a Vampire's soul and the mortal world is thinner than that of a human's. The soul of a virgin is more potent. Because of these facts, the soul of a Vampire will briefly enter the soul of a human if they are to take their virginity. When a virgin is penetrated by a Vampire, or when a virgin penetrates a Vampire — their souls will intermingle.

This is a very intimate affair, and as such it should be treated with the utmost care and respect. Like many of our other ceremonies, it is to be blessed by The Goddess. To receive her blessing, the human and Vampire must kneel and bow with their foreheads on the Earth. This is the beginning of the ceremony —

Yunho can hear your heart beating violently in your chest, and he watches as you scan past the small list of preparations; your throat bobbing as you gulp.

— lay the virgin down with a kiss before penetr—

You shove the book into his lap, breathing deeply. "That is so intimate! I had never even kissed anyone before I met you all." You bite your lip, looking down.

That gives Yunho pause. "You hadn't?"

"No... I fear I am much too inexperienced to ever be ready for," you point to the book with a grimace, "that."

"I was your first kiss?" He raises his eyebrows, heart thrumming to life in his cold chest. "If- if I had known, I wouldn't have-"

"It's okay. I'm glad it was you... your lips felt nice." You whisper, tracing the embroidery on your skirt. "Can I ask you another question?"

"Of course," he nods, looking at you intently, "I will answer it to the best of my abilities." He has to ignore the way you said his lips felt nice lest he kiss you breathless.

"What is... hand stuff?" You sigh embarrassedly, recalling the others words. "I assume it is when people touch each other without... penetration? But how does that work? Is not the whole point of it to... touch each other lower?"

His ears are red fucking hot.

They knew you were a virgin. Yes. They knew you were sheltered. Sure. But they didn't know the extent.

"Uhm..." He swallows thickly, looking down to the book, "it's like masturbation, but with another person. Sex can be a lot of things."

Your next words make his hands itch with the deep urge to grab at you and ruin all of your innocence. "What is masturbation?"

He tilts his head back to face the ceiling, praying silently for strength. "It's," he takes a moment, "it's when you touch yourself to reach an orgasm." Please don't ask. Please don't ask.

"An orgasm?"

"Sweet Grentizia," he groans, cupping his face in his hands. Seonghwa wasn't kidding when he said it was a challenge to hold back. They all had their own... pleasures. But one thing they all had in common was that they loved to absolutely ruin each other. And you are pure. Perfect. Made to break and place back together with gentle kisses and then repeat. Made to take —

    "Will you teach me?"

    He grips the book again tightly, staring at the words to ground himself. "...What?"

     "I want you to teach me." You whisper as you look up to him. His eyes are still on the pages, but he isn't registering a single word — and you know it. "Please, My Lord. You said that you would teach me anything I wanted to know."

   His nails are digging into the hard cover of the book, leaving crescent indentations. "And that-" He gulps, "that is something you want to learn?"

   "Yes." You lean forward, tilting your head, "I trust you to teach me well."

Oh, you probably shouldn't. He's only one bat of your eyelashes away from ripping your dress off and saying 'fuck the ceremony.'

"Please, Yunho mi? I want to start experiencing... sexual things- ah!" The second the word 'sex' passed your lips, he was ready to devour you whole. He yanks you up by your dresses collar and bends you over the edge of the bed, making you kneel on the bench all in one swift movement.

     "I will teach you," his voice is near a growl as he undoes the bow on your back, quickly tugging the ribbon. "I will have your first kiss and your first orgasm."

Good Goddess, what have you gotten yourself into?

You couldn't help yourself. After reading about the ceremony, how intense and intimate it will be, you realized you wanted to at least have something under your belt in the sexual experience category.

You knew that none of them would disrespect Seonghwa and take you before he did, even if you preferred them to over him. You were learning quickly that age meant respect in the Vampiric world, and he was the oldest of your soulmates. They would wait decades until you were ready to lose your virginity to Seonghwa — if that's what it took.

But virginity doesn't mean you had to be a complete stranger to such things. You had never even touched yourself. It just wasn't something you thought about... or knew how to do.

You trust Yunho to teach you. You trust him to make you feel good. You want to make him feel good.

If it were anyone else, you'd probably be chickening out. Wooyoung might lose control; despite all of his good natured teasing over the past few days — he was still as eager as all of them and he has zero control when it comes to you. You caught him staring at your behind quite often, and he didn't even pretend to be embarrassed. Hongjoong was still a bit intimidating, especially after you had seen him fighting yesterday. Mingi, you might have trusted as well; arguably, you knew him best. But you still weren't used to his voice being attached to his body, you were used to him being a 'ghost'. The others, you were only just now getting close enough to to be comfortable giving them kisses to the cheek.

But Yunho? His forehead kisses make you smile and he's so... attentive.

    You will admit that The Goddess made all of your soulmates undeniably gorgeous. And something about the way Yunho looks at you has been making you hot for a few days.

    Because he's looking at you like he looks at the rest of your soulmates. His gaze is all consuming and dominating over whoever he sets it on.

"Come here," he pulls you up, keeping you kneeled on the bench as he bundles up your skirts in his hands. He pauses, leaning closer to your ear, "are you sure?"

"Yes," you have no hesitation. You want Yunho to be the first one to show you how pleasurable the heat between your legs can be.

Your dress is gone in a flash, and you're being pushed to the bed on your back, looking down at him dizzily as he pulls off your shoes as well. "Will you," you pant as he crawls over you, "show me how to kiss like you do?"

He cups your cheeks, straddling your waist as he leans down. The tip of his nose against yours fills your skin with sparks. "Move slowly," he tilts his head to show you, his lips hovering just over your own. "Take your time," he whispers, "we have so much of it to spend together, don't rush. Close your eyes and feel me against you. Kiss me like you mean it."

Your hands mirror his, cupping his heated cheeks as you pull him the final inch to meet your lips.

You follow his instructions, moving slowly and purposefully against his lips. Your eyes closed as you try to memorize the feeling of him against you.

You kiss him like you mean it.

Because you do.

And it drives him wild, holding himself back from taking charge so that you can learn with him acting as a puppet for your knowledge. He cradles your face softly and limits himself to small movements to meet your own.

He has a dopey smile as you lean back, your eyes still closed. "Very good," he hums while tracing his fingertips down your neck, "you're a quick learner."

"I have a good teacher," you smirk lightly, peeking your eyes open.

    His eyes have gone red with want, but his gaze is soft as he looks down at you. He pushes the straps of your underdress down your shoulders; matching your smirk ten-fold as your heartbeat kicks up.

    "Can-" You lick your lips, "can you take your clothes off, too?" He sits up wordlessly and unbuttons his shirt in a hurry, making you giggle as you slide yourself up to lean on your elbows. The sight of your shift sliding down your chest a bit makes him move faster. Who is he to deny you?

     "I promise," he leans and pecks your lips as he tosses off his shirt, "I will make you see stars."

     "I look forward to it-" You yelp as he pulls you up to your feet. You'll never get used to moving so fast.

     "Let me see you," he leans his head against yours, fingers yanking at his belt impatiently.

     You take a deep breath, watching him step out of his pants. When he rid himself of his shoes, who knows but — now you're on the same level as he stands in front of you with nothing but his undergarments on.

     The tent in the fabric catches your eyes as you scan him. "Will you teach me how to please you, as well?"

    His breath catches in his throat. He wants to agree with breakneck speed, but he also doesn't want to spook you. "If you want me to."

     For a virgin, you sure are a huge tease. You let your shift fall to the ground. "I do. I want you to show me."

    He takes a long moment to admire you, his eyes shimmering. He has to swallow all of the saliva that's accumulating so he doesn't literally drool at the mere sight of your naked body.

    "I want to make you feel good, too-"

    Everything is a blur as he wraps his arms around you and moves you both onto the bed.

    You grab onto his arms tightly as he holds you from behind, sucking in a shaking breath as you take in your new position.

    He's got you sitting on the middle of the bed, holding your legs apart with his own as he all but crushes your back to his chest. "Don't say things like that, or I will not stop until you're begging for me to just fuck you already."

     You're heating up just the same as when they drink from you, creeping up your neck and pooling in your stomach. "Would you?" You gasp as his hands cup your chest.

    "When the time comes, I will have you until the only word you know is my name. Believe this, My Lady, I will ruin you."

    "Oh," you moan out quietly as you feel your core dripping, "oh, Yunho..."

    "Are we there already~?" He smirks against your shoulder as he fondles you, sucking at your skin and buzzing with excitement as you let out another shy sound.

     He's kissing and licking all over your neck and shoulders now, paying extra attention to the areas that make your heart flutter.

     You grab onto his thighs as he rolls your nipples in his fingertips, your jaw dropping. You didnt know that their sensitivity could feel so... enthralling. "I l-like that," you whine quietly, digging your fingers into him.

     "Mmm?" He releases your skin from his mouth with a pop. He does it again, his fingers just a bit tighter together, "this?"

    "Yes," you nod quickly, "more. More, pleaseeee," you groan as you arch into his touch. He's already got you feeling hotter than you ever have.

    "Since you asked so nicely, gorgeous."

   His words and the way he pinches your nipples just enough for it to toe the line between pleasure and pain makes you yell out, "good Goddess!"

    You slap your hand over your mouth, panting heavily as he continues to tease the now sore pebbled flesh between his nimble fingers.

   "Move your hand," he commands you, halting his movements until you slowly do so. "I want to hear every noise you make. I want to know how good it feels."

    You whine as he slides his hands down slowly, "don't stop..."

     "Who said anything about stopping?" He chuckles, "I said I would make you see stars, and I am not stopping until I fulfill my promise."

   

     You lean your head against his chest, watching with wide eyes as he rubs your hips; venturing ever closer to your epicenter. He rests his chin atop your head, eyes never once blinking as he takes in every twitch and fidget you give him.

    He's teasing you on purpose. He can't help himself. He wants you to beg. It's his guilty pleasure— well, it's one of his guilty pleasures.

    "Touch me," your whisper just above the sound of your heartbeat reaches his ears, "please. I want you to touch me already."

    "Isn't that what I've been doing?" He has a grin like a jackal as he hears you whine impatiently. You're melting in his hands, falling right where he wants you.

"Touch me e-elsewhere," you say in a breath, spreading your legs further despite the way it makes your face and neck burn with bashfulness.

"Have you ever touched your cunt?" His raspy question makes you groan, a pout forming as you feel your heartbeat... down there. "Or am I the very first?"

"You- you are the first," your hips jolt, yearning for his soft touch to land where you most want it. "I can't take anymore teasing, please, Yunho-" Your pleads trail off into a long sigh, your eyes fluttering shut as he cups your heat in his large hand, the other holding your hip.

He leans his head against your shoulder, breathing deep and slow to calm himself. "Fucking hell," he sighs quietly, "you're so warm... So wet, already..."

The simple fact that he's holding you like this is enough to make his member twitch. Enough to flood his brain with dopamine. Your soft, panting breaths when he's barely touched you are driving him mad.

He starts moving his hand slowly, almost like he's worshipping your heat or trying to map it out so he'll never forget. He massages up and down a few times before two of his fingers slide between your lips and start exploring your wet slit.

"Ah, that feel-feels nice," you draw out softly. Your fingers slowly releasing their death grip on his thighs as you relax into his touch.

"Yeah?" He hums, running his free hand up your waist, "then this will feel amazing~" You barely have time to register his words before one of his fingertips is on your clit, circling it slowly and bringing it to life — bringing you to tears.

You can't form any words. All you can do is take the new, heavenly sensation at the delicate pace he gives it to you. The only noise you can manage is a strangled and broken moan.

"Feels good, gorgeous?" He chuckles as he leans and gets a peek at your expression; you're already tearing up and your eyebrows are pinched together, your jaw slack as you meet his eyes and nod quickly.

"Fuck, you're so cute," he growls as he uses his free hand to grab your neck and pull you into a kiss, another finger added to his gentle assault on your clit.

With your mouth open, he slips his tongue right in. This kiss couldn't be more different than the one you shared just minutes ago.

He's taken control, and he's gotten rough. The contrast between how he handles your cunt and how he handles your mouth makes you dizzy; so you're thankful he keeps his dominating kiss relatively short.

    You tilt your head back, panting for air as he picks up his fingers speed. "Drink from me," you stutter out before you can second guess yourself. You want him to.

     He doesn't have to be told twice. He sinks his teeth into your shoulder and moans loudly, his fingers pressing against you just a bit harder to show his gratitude.

    It takes every ounce of his self restraint not to bury his cock inside of you when you let out your first real moan.

    It's of his name, you sound it out somewhere between a praise and a curse word; "oh, Yunho!"

   He's going to lose his mind. He truly is, he thinks. He was your first kiss. He's the first one to touch your heat. He's drinking from you as he drives you ever closer to your first orgasm.

    He's getting just as much satisfaction as you are, really. Not only is he over the moon to be able to please you, he's doing so while sucking up the blood that you offered to him. The blood that makes him all sorts of warm.

    "Don't- don't stop! Please!" You plead even though he shows no signs of doing so.

    He hums with his teeth still buried into your skin, making you shiver as the sound vibrates through your entire being. His arm snakes its way across your torso, pulling you closer to his chest roughly as you begin to tremble.

     You definitely like hand stuff, is the conclusion you come to as the pool of heat in your stomach begins boiling.

     "Fuck, lirae!" You grab his arm tightly, holding it to you. You're starting to get lightheaded from the combination of his feasting and calculated touches. {Fuck, yes!}

     It's the first time he's ever heard you curse. It makes him twitch. You sound so needy. You sound so filthy. And it'll all for him.

   He withdraws his teeth, moaning and licking his lips as the pinpricks in your skin start to drip; your heavy heartbeat pushing your blood to rush. "Ah, lirae? You like it when I touch you like this?" He smirks, licking up the blood slowly.

    "Uh-huh!" You yelp as his free hand suddenly tilts your head to face him as he hovers over your shoulder.

     "Your heartbeat is so loud, it's like a fucking drum. Music to my ears," he grins, holding your burning hot cheek as he presses his forehead to yours. "You must be close, you're shaking, poor thing~"

    You bite your lip, swallowing thickly as the tension in your body pulses. You can feel your heartbeat in your throat, in your cunt, in your stomach. You feel like you're on fire in the most beautiful and delicious way possible. A tear finally slips past your waterline.

     "Oh, don't cry," he says softly; but he has a wicked smile. This is just as satisfying as sex for him. Making his pretty little soulmate shake and cry for a release that she doesn't know how to get. He can tell it's just within reach. He can see it in your begging eyes. You don't know what's about to hit you. All you know is something huge is building up inside of you. And you need him to guide you.

    "Yunho mi, wh-at do I do?"

   "You're about to cum," he says with a nod, "you're going to have an orgasm for me." His crimson eyes are trained like a predator to watch every single twitch of your brow, every tremble of your lips. "You don't have to do anything but enjoy it, let me take care of you."

     "Ah, swai losa," you groan, squeezing your eyes closed. The pleasure is swimming through your entire body but you need more. You need something to happen, somewhere for it to go. {Ah, it's so hot}

     "Relax ba," he hums before landing a peck to your lips, "just let it wash over you. Let it all go, gorgeous." He starts swirling his fingers in the opposite direction, making your back arch briefly before he wraps his arm back around you and holds you to his chest. You're moaning with every breath. Your clit is throbbing under his blissful torture. You have nowhere to run as he holds you in place and bombards you with pleasure. "Let go."

      Let go of everything and let him make you see stars.

     "You can do that for me, can't you, mali'a sev?" Your eyes fly open, one hand finding its way to his hair and the other to his thigh. When the fuck did he learn that? {You can do that for me, can't you, my heart?}

    You meet his gaze and —

    The burning pleasure finally slams into its peak, washing over you like a tidal wave and dunking you into a pulsing ocean of euphoria. Spreading through your veins in a split second like an aphrodisiac infused lava.

    You wail with pleasure loud enough that anyone in your vicinity has undoubtedly heard it. Your thighs snap together, making you jolt as you accidentally press his still circling fingers into your buzzing clit harder. "Oh~!" You yelp, cursing like a sailor in your native tongue so fast and jumbled that he wouldn't even be able to keep up if he were fluent.

    He catches a few words he's picked up as he watches you convulse with a dark, satisfied smile. Namely he hears: good, heaven, Yunho, and yes — but he knows there's a good set of curse words in the mix. 

     "There you go," he coos while he slows his fingers to a slow and steady stroking up and down your messy slit. "There you go, I got you." He chuckles as you jolt with each of his movements, your head titled back against his shoulder and your eyes coming back from where they'd rolled back. You look dazed and throughly fucked out — and it makes him throb that he's managed to wreck you without even showing you what it feels like to be fingered internally. Goddess help you when he decides to teach you what a g-spot is.

     "My... fucking fuck," you hiccup breathlessly, your death grip on his hair slowly letting go so your arm can join the other in being slumped, your fingers twitching atop his thighs.

    "You see those stars I was talking about?" He rubs your side, listening to your heavy breaths with a smirk.

    "Mmmhm," you can only moan, complete lax against him and feeling like your body is light — like he is the only thing grounding you to Earth. "Bou lamara sev."

He tilts his head, leaning against yours gently, "hm?"

"N-nothing," you twist in his arm. He loosens his grip just enough for you to shakily turn, and he lays back as you place yourself on top of him.

He hears the skip in your heartbeat that tells him you're lying, not wanting him to know.

Your pupils are still dilated way out of proportion, your gaze soft and unfocused.

He'll figure it out later, but for now —

"Can you show me how to please you now?"

𖤐❝Your soul looks different...❞𖤐

"Good evening, My Lords," you greet them confidently with an uncharacteristically bright smile as you join the table that night.

"Someone's in a good mood," Jongho smiles as you sit next to Yeosang, throwing a glance to Yunho as he enters just while you take your seat. "You're extra smiley today, too. Good study session?"

Your face heats up. "Indeed," Yunho takes the other seat next to you before the others can start filing in and fight over it. "Our best one yet, don't you think?" He's looking at you like that again; his gaze all enveloping and his smile bordering on a smug smirk.

"Oh, yes," you clear your throat, a smile finding its way to your lips which you hide by taking a sip from your cup.

A few of them are missing. Seonghwa, Wooyoung, and Mingi aren't in their seats, so the rest of wait.

"Hmmm," Hongjoong hums suspiciously, leaning his head onto his hand as he looks between you. "You two are hiding something, I can feel it."

"Feel it? Hongjoong, you're just tired and paranoid like always," Yunho rolls his eyes, throwing the Lieutenant a playful smile.

"Mh," he narrows his eyes for a second. "Probably!" He giggles, reaching over to serve you as he sees you reach for the food.

That's one thing that the servants don't do. You had asked Mingi about it, and apparently it was a tradition between the soulmates that had originated when Seonghwa and Yunho had found Wooyoung. The newest addition was similarly from a common background and he didn't like other people touching his food, so they served one another.

And it carried on even after Wooyoung got more accustom to royal life, even when Hongjoong joined them. And then, still, when the Choi brothers and Yeosang did as well. By the time Mingi came around, they didn't even think about it even more; it's something that just is.

"Thank you, Lord Kim," you peek at him as you take the plate. He looks nothing like he does when he's fighting. Maybe you shouldn't linger on that image of him.

"How is your quilt going, (Y/n)?" San asks curiously, his eyes shining as he looks at you.

"Slow but steady," you reply with a shrug, "I have started on the second row! Thank you, again, for all of the fabric."

"Evening!" Woooyung yells as he enters with Mingi, immediately heading straight to you and tilting your head to get a kiss like he's done for the past few days after you initiated a cheek kiss. "You smell extra sweet today," he observes before connecting your lips.

He's shocked when you start kissing him back — weaving your lips together softly.

You're feeling... braver after you and Yunho's afternoon together.

Mingi is still in the doorway, his eyebrows pushing together as he looks at you like he's trying to figure something out.

"Did you have a good day, Lord Jung?" You ask as you pull back. He's still leaning, in disbelief of how well you just kissed him.

"Uhhhh," he blanks as he stands up. As he sits, he tilts his head, "did you just kiss me? Like a real kiss?"

"I do believe what it's called. Yes, My Lord."

Yeosang chuckles from beside you at your barely contained sarcasm. He's glad you're cracking out of your shell and showing a more playful side.

"Mingi, why are you just standing there?" Seonghwa's voice calls all of your eyes to the only soulmates who aren't at the table.

Mingi is biting his cuticle, still staring at you in puzzlement. "Your soul looks different..." He whispers, making heads back turn to you.

"Huh?" You raise a brow, "how s- oh!" You yell as your seat is pulled away from the table, holding onto the armrests tightly.

The seer has yanked you back enough to stand in front of you and bend forward, face to face with you.

"It's brighter?" He states, but it sounds like a question because of his confusion.

"You're scaring me a bit," you pout as you meet his eyes. He's staring right past you and into your soul. You can feel him picking through it, trying to find the source. "S-stop that!"

Seonghwa is there in a split second as you voice your displeasure, pulling you back even further from the table to put himself between you and Mingi. "Were you soul-searching her?"

"Hwa, it's different!" He defends himself, looking over the Kings shoulder and locking eyes with you again. "It wasn't this bright even when she was a child."

The others are watching on anxiously, Yunho most of all. He thinks he might know why your soul is suddenly brighter. And as your eyes widen, he knows you're placing the same pieces together.

Your eyes flick to him for a half of a millisecond, but Mingi catches it.

Now he's in front of him, looking down intently. "You too... you're both glowing." That faint glow of Yunho's soul looks very familiar to Mingi.

Glowing like it does after a fulfilling night.

Mingi looks between you and Yunho repeatedly, and the others follow suit; trying to catch up to what he's putting together because they can't see what he can. "You-" He stutters, "no..."

"What? What is it, Mingi?" Hongjoong is getting impatient. If something is different, then different could mean wrong. Something could be wrong. With his precious soulmates. He's freaking out —

"Afterglow." Mingi chuckles in disbelief, and Yunho gulps. He knows that there is an unbelievable amount of teasing and questioning about to bombard the two of you. You, on the other hand, are unaware.

"Afterglow?" You ask quietly, looking to each and every one of their frozen faces.

"We did not have sex, toooo be clear!" Yunho yells before they can freak out, "she is still a virgin."

"Yunho!" You groan as you reach and slap his arm.

Everyone is stood up and crowding the two of you, a million words per second flying out of their mouths.

Even after so many years of pleasing each other, they still get giddy when talking about it — and you are certainly no exception. They've waited for you the longest, and they want to know everything about you. They want to do everything with you, sexual or platonic; it doesn't matter.

But since you're usually so reserved when talking about sex, and they are anything but; they get over eager when the topic comes up. Even Yeosang and Jongho, who arguably give you the most space.

Seonghwa is the only silent one, standing beside you with a smile trying to fight its way to his lips. If you're experimenting with things like that, it means you're at least a bit comfortable. "Enough," he voices, "let them have some space. Everyone sit down, this is ridiculous."

He's the last to leave, standing by your side until they've all taken their seats. His presence is welcomed, as he keeps them all from firing questions you can't even keep up with. "Thank you, Seonghwa..." Your whisper is like a ray of sunshine as it reaches him. He thinks he'll never get used to the way you say his name.

Yunho reaches and holds your hand softly, "I'm sorry, (Y/n). I forgot Mingi could see that... it's truly my mistake. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

    "Don't be uncomfortable!" San shakes his head quickly, "you don't have any reason to be shy with us, we're your soulmates!"

     "Yeah," Wooyoung joins in, "we're just curious is all. I know your village was more conservative about this stuff but, we aren't. We talk about it openly!"

     "We're sorry," Yeosang speaks from his seat beside you, talking for them as a unit. "We just have so many questions, you could see that. Our sex life together is very... abundant. So, we're just- uhm, eager to hear."

     You look up from your lap, glancing around the room. While their eyes are certainly still filled with curiosity, they've toned it down significantly for the sake of not making you feel more embarrassed. "That's...  okay. I'm just not used to talking about anything like this. I w-" you bite your tongue.

    "You can speak freely, Elarin," Seonghwa reaches and fixes the lace on your collar, catching a glimpse of the hickeys on your shoulder that are just barely hidden. Yunho does like to mark his partners.

    "I would just appreciate if you didn't all ask your questions all at once, My Lords..."

     Yunho is about to start jumping off the walls. He's cracked the first layer of your walls down and made a path for the rest of them to follow.

    "But," Hongjoong leans forward eagerly, "we can ask questions?"

     You take a moment. After learning, after experiencing just a little bit; you're less scared of the topic at hand. "One at a time."

𖤐❝Come lie with me?❞𖤐

      You couldn't sleep. Well, you couldn't stay asleep, that is.

     It turns out the Vampires weren't lying when they said they were curious and eager. It seemed like each of them had a hundred questions. You did your best to answer them, to let your guard down a little bit; because they were beyond delighted to get any information. And something about that made you feel gratified, that you could make them excited.

     The Lords all kept true to asking one question at a time, partly because the King sent a glare their way when they started talking over one another. He wanted to hear as much as they did, and he wanted to make sure you didn't feel overwhelmed again.

     The questions had a wide range, and you were still thinking about a lot of them. That's one reason you found yourself tossing and turning.

     Ones that lingered were like, 'what else are you curious about?' and 'what kind of fantasies do you have?'

     You didn't dare to tell them that you had imagined Wooyoung and Yunho kissing, and you certainly didn't speak of how you had a dream twice now — of Wooyoung holding you down while he has his way with you.

     They could all hear your heart thudding, and Wooyoung noted how you refused to look at him for a few minutes. Oh, he's definitely going to start teasing you more. He put the pieces together in a second flat. You've been fantasizing about him.

     After you had the dream for a third time, you decided that it was useless trying to sleep and got up.

The halls are much different at night.

Usually they are bustling with activity, people to and from and here and there; the sunlight lighting them through the vast windows.

In the middle of the night, you could really focus on the grand beautiful of it all — no Lords or staffs or business that comes with being the capital of the entire realm.

It really is marvelous. You hadn't gotten the time to take it in. You were too busy trying to adapt and process all of the information you'd gotten over the past days.

You didn't mind the fact that you had so many soulmates. It wasn't exceedingly rare. It wasn't rare for a Vampire and a human to be fated, either — after all, Vampires were once humans.

You had asked Ymanya about her soulmate, a few days ago. And she had a sad look in her eyes before she just shook her head. You dropped the subject pretty quickly.

Gele said she was still on the search for her soulmate, and she talked about it with a passion that you wish you had when talking about yours.

You should be overjoyed to finally have found the missing pieces of yourself. You are happy, to an extent. You feel... satisfied. That hole inside of you is finally acknowledged and filled.

But you can't find it in yourself to be excited. To be elated, like your soulmates.

Your brain is simply too used to what it knows, what you've been told your whole life. 'You have no soulmate.'

You're wandering aimlessly now, your boots against the tile echoing in the empty halls.

After your afternoon with Yunho, you could deny it no longer.

This is where you belong. These men are your fate.

Because he didn't just satisfy you physically. The way he held you and praised you and looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered in that moment —

It made you say 'bou lamara sev.'

A whole other level of 'I love you.'

And you don't really know how to feel about that.

There is no guidebook or help center for 'I have been told my entire human life that I have no soulmate but turns out I have eight and they are Vampires.' You are completely and utterly stranded. In the middle of the ocean with only a raft that's barely keeping you afloat. No paddle, no charge of your own destiny.

    You always had been. 

    You wish you had gotten a little more time with your father before they dragged you away from the only home you've ever known. You have so many questions. Namely; 'why did you do this to me? Why did you lie?'

The whole point of soulmates is that you are meant to be. Was what Tihilda saw truly so terrible that she would break her oath to The Goddess? It couldn't have been.

They were all gentle with you. They were all caring, perhaps even overbearing at times.

"(Y/n)?"

You freeze in your spot.

"What are you doing? It's the middle of the night," Seonghwa's voice is groggy and slow, like he's just woken up.

You turn slowly on your heel and face him. He's leaning on a doorway, eyes trained on you despite the obvious tiredness in them. Dressed nothing like he usually is, all prim and proper. He looks almost human, almost like a commoner with his large sweater and loose cotton bottoms. "I was just... I couldn't sleep."

     "I can see that," he chuckles softly, tilting his head, "did I frighten you?" Your heart has a steady, brutal pulse that reaches his ears easily in the quiet of the night.

"Oh, I was away in my thoughts," you offer a ghost of a smile, but he doesn't buy it.

"Thoughts of what?"

"Just... stuff. Things."

"You are troubled." He pouts. Honest to Goddess pouts. You're taken aback, you didn't think you'd ever see the High King pout. "Pray tell, what's on your mind?"

You wrap your arms around yourself, your shift no longer keeping you warm under his gaze. "I would prefer not to speak of it."

"And I would prefer my soulmates well rested." He hums, turning into the room he's in front of with a simple, "come."

"Mh?" You hesitate, feet refusing to move. From the small look you can get into the room, it seems to be a chamber similar to your own.

"Come here."

And you're moving quickly at the slight edge in his voice, finding yourself in the room in a second flat. It is a bedroom, only slightly larger than your own. Blacks and blues color the room, shapes hard to distinguish in the light of the singular candle lit.

It's immediately clear that this is his chambers.

"Close the door." You turn away from his gaze at once and do so, slowly closing the wooden door as quietly as you can manage. "Tell me what's on your mind, Elarin."

"Might I ask... why do you call me that?"

"Here," you jump as he comes beside you, a sweater similar to his own in his hands, "I know it gets cold, apologies."

"I shouldn't-"

"I insist." He leaves no room for argument as he all but shoves the clothing into your hands. "You must keep warm."

"Thank you, Seonghwa." You whisper as you take it, quickly pulling it over your head. You were, as he had noted, getting rather cold. You were keeping warm while walking around, but as the night grew later; the temperature got lower. You were about to head back to your own chambers when he appeared.

"It has no direct translation," he shrugs before he looks you up and down — "Come lie with me?"

He can't stop the words as they practically claw their way out of his throat. You look so warm and comfortable. He wants to hold you through the night, and this time he wants to slumber with you.

"Uhm... okay." Your voice acts without your permission. Something deep within you wants to sleep in the same bed as him. Perhaps it was the blood loss, or the copious amount of wine, but you found that the night you slept between Hongjoong and Seonghwa was some of the best sleep you had ever gotten. 

     His arms immediately find their way around you after you rid yourself of your boots and climb under the thick blanket. Although you have no complaints, his cold arms oddly comforting to your racing mind; he asks, "is this okay?"

"Mhm." You slowly inch your way closer until your chest presses against his, your head resting in the crook of his shoulder. "If there is no direct translation, how can you describe it?"

"It is," he trails off while he melts into the feeling of your body warmth, "something like sunshine. Well- it's something like the feeling of sunshine warming you."

"That's strangely romantic," you feel your face warming, you didn't know what you had expected but it wasn't something like that. "Could I... ask why?"

He holds you a bit tighter all of the sudden, pressing his nose to your hair. "Because that is what you feel like. The sun shining down in the winter. The ultimate comfort."

𖤐❝APRICITY❞𖤐

𖤐❝NEXT TIME❞𖤐

    "What's the matter with you, Ymanya?" He hums, tilting his head. "You didn't lose Our Lady, did you?" He jokes. But she does not move. She stares at the man with wide eyes. "You lost Our Lady!" He yells, quickly standing up, "how!? How, how, how?"

His chair clatters to the floor in his haste, his footsteps heavy as he passes her.

    "I'm sorry, My Lord! She was not in her bed, I made sure she was during the night but now-"

     He grabs the nearest guard who's passing by as he runs down the halls, Ymanya hot on his tail as she tries to explain herself. "Have you seen the Lady of the castle?"

"No, Lord Jung, is every-"

He's already running again, calling back briefly before bolting full speed, "lock the doors!"

𖤐❝CURSE YOUR NAME❞𖤐

[rosewind2007]

Twelve times Murderbot and Gurathin are:

1) Renting SecUnit

Gurathin: ( softly ) I'm not sure we should go for the cheapest one.

Murderbot: I agree. Don't rent me.

2) Humming (Gurathin does seem reluctant -or possibly staring down the corporates?)

Ratthi singsongy: Gurathin, get in here. ( humming continues ) ( singsongy ) Yeah, there we go. ( humming )

Mensah: Yes.

Murderbot: What the hell was that?

3) Ratthi painting the habitat

Murderbot: They had been defacing the standard-issue Company habitat for aesthetic purposes.

Gurathin: Does this wash off?

4) Ugh, it has a face

Ratthi: I didn't know it has a face.

Arada: Yeah, it's kind of a sweet face.

Ratthi: Yeah, it kind of is.

Gurathin: Ugh.

Murderbot: Ugh. I heard all that and saw it. From several angles.

5) Please don’t go!

Murderbot: Well, I wouldn't advise it from a security point of view.

Gurathin: Thank you, SecUnit.

Murderbot: Thank you, Dr. Gurathin.

6) Gurathin had a point…

Mensah: You're sounding paranoid.

Gurathin: Am I?

Murderbot: Gurathin had a point. I mean, I wouldn't trust me. ( crowd screaming, groaning ) Lately, a fragment of memory from before I was refurbished kept popping up. ( gunfire ) ( alarm blaring )

7) Why was he telling it?

Murderbot: Why was he telling me this?

Gurathin: I don't know why I'm telling you all this. But I do know that in the Corporation Rim, you are considered equipment, and you have to do what we say.

8) Neither of them want to see that…

Murderbot: Human copulation. But this is the part I skip over when I'm watching media. I could tell Gurathin wasn't enjoying it too much either. Dr. Gurathin? Are you all right?

Gurathin: Yes.

Murderbot: He wouldn't be probing around my feed again anytime soon.

9) Neither like the eye contact

Gurathin: You don't have to look at me anymore.

10) Eye rolls at Mensah

Gurathin: Dr. Mensah, this is Gurathin. I am here with SecUnit. It's using the satellite to run comms.

Mensah pants: That's great. Teamwork. ( cries ) So beautiful. So beautiful. Okay, I, uh, seem to be approaching visual of the center of the map lacuna. ( panting ) It's just a matter of moments. ( earth rumbling )

11) Please come back

Murderbot: Dr. Mensah, please turn around and return to the hopper immediately.

Gurathin: Yes. C-Come back.

12) Harsh but fair

Gurathin: They have a SecUnit. They could probably afford more than one. Better than ours.

Murderbot: Harsh but fair.

🖤

[praeobscura]

Hello! An Intersex Jam (focused on works about characters living with the real-life medical variants between dyadic male and female) has been published, and will take place over the month of June.

About the Jam

The aim of this jam is to promote & encourage the creation of art featuring intersex characters (i.e. human or human-adjacent characters with a real-life intersex variation, not futanari characters) or otherwise pertaining to the intersex experience.

Of the 46 total characters recorded on the "List of fictional intersex characters" Wikipedia page, only 10 are realistic or adjacent to realistic. The others were made as mockeries, or are non-human, or fall into the bigenital altersex/futanari category.

The majority of intersex depictions in fiction are jokes, or exoticised, or fantastic. (If you are intersex yourself, you already know this.) It is a disservice to your friends, your family, your colleagues, your neighbors, the strangers you pass on the street, and even you yourself, all of whom may (knowingly or not) fall on the broad scale between the two dyadic positions of "perisex female" and "perisex male". It is more common than you might think.

By building a larger body of works to read and reflect on, intersex people will become better known as real, living, tangible people in the world. This jam hopes to encourage the creation of new works that center intersex people.

Anything that you submit MUST:

Focus on one or more intersex character(s)  AND/OR  prominently focus on intersex topics.

Include the word "intersex" in either the title or the short description.

Include the tag "intersex" in the tags field.

What is allowed?

Any medium that you can think of is good! Consider what is usually hosted on Itch.io: video games, books, short stories, interactive fiction, visual novels, comics, zines, music, etc.

NSFW is allowed. So long as your smut is respectful to real-life intersex people, you can submit it.

While we'd rather all submissions to be made during the jam period, you can absolutely submit stuff that you've made or started prior to the jam beginning.

[ur-local-wizard]

Angel on the Court

Mattheo thought today would just be a normal day after classes… Until he saw you.

fluff, banter, basketball!matty x basketball scholarship!f!reader, muggle college au

written in response to this ask. also my submission as part of week one of @acourtofchaos's au event!

w/c: 953

masterlist nav au list

a/n: pls don't flame me if the basketball info is wrong. ik practically nothing abt the sport, as I'm more of an ice hockey girl myself.

Mattheo had already finished his classes for today. He was doing alright grade-wise, even though college, nor school in general, wasn’t exactly his strong suit. His father forced him to take up the next level of schooling, and as much as Mattheo would’ve rather gone to art school, his father would be even more pissed about that than him not going to college at all. So, he picked a happy medium: visual communications. It was creative enough to keep him sane and relatively happy, yet practical enough to keep his father’s lectures over the phone away.

Normally, he would’ve been in his dorm by now, sketching while half-asleep, listening to the music blasting from his headphones. But something pulled at him as he walked past the outdoor courts. The rhythmic thump, thump, thump, of a basketball against concrete and the swish it made as it slid through the net caught his attention. Curious, he turned his head, and stopped in his tracks. 

There you were, alone. The afternoon sun cast a golden glow over everything, causing the sheen of sweat that had formed on your skin to shine as you pivoted, dribbled, and made another shot. The ball easily slipped through the hoop once again. Your movements were fluid, unhurried, as if you didn’t have to think about any of it, and you looked good doing it. Distractingly so.

He walked closer, moving to the basketball court. Leaning against the fence, he watched you practice longer than he probably should have. You picked up the ball from your previous shot, crossed the court to the three-pointer line, and made another shot like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“Damn,” he murmured to himself. But you must’ve heard, because you turned, and walked over to him once you saw him. “You say something?”

He blinked, surprised. But his usual cocky grin spread across his lips. “Just admiring the form.” 

You raised your brows. “Didn’t know my practice was a spectator sport.”

He laughs. “Didn’t know we had someone out here giving Shaq a run for his money.”

A laugh left your lips, but your stance remained somewhat guarded – arms crossed across your chest, weight all on one hip. “Do you play, or just watch from the sidelines and look pretty?” 

He grinned, setting his keys down onto the nearest bench and walked fully onto the court. “You think I’m pretty?” he asked, holding his hand out. “Mattheo.”

“I know who you are,” you said, taking his hand and introducing yourself. “You’re the guy who flipped a table at intramurals early this semester.” 

“That was an accident,” he retorted. You gave him a sharp look. “Alright, a passionate accident.”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

He couldn’t help but grin, his tone mischievous when he spoke. “Want to see if I’ve improved from my rage quitting days?”

You laughed, handing him a ball. “Are you challenging me?”

“Unless you’re scared,” he countered, bouncing the ball once. 

You scoffed, but a smile crept onto your lips. “Fine. First to five?” 

“Winner gets bragging rights,” he agreed, stepping back to the center of the court. “And the loser buys us smoothies.”

You caught the ball when he passed it to you. “I’m not paying for anything.” 

That was the last time he smiled for the next ten minutes. He went in cocky, but you read him like a book, blocking every move he made and side-stepping him when he attempted to steal the ball. 1-0. 2-0. Then he made a shot, and when you ran to grab the ball as it landed, your shoulder bumped him so hard that he lost his footing, nearly falling over. That small stumble cost him yet another point. 

By 5-1, he was bent over, hands on his knees, panting. You, on the other hand, simply grabbed your water bottle and took a sip. 

“Holy shit,” he gasped. “You really don’t hold back, huh?” 

“Anything for a free smoothie,” you half-joked, shrugging. When he chuckled and stood back up, you put the bottle down. “But on a serious note, my scholarship doesn’t just keep itself.” 

His gaze was appreciative then, as if he saw you in a whole different light. However, it wasn’t any less admiring. “You’re on the team?” 

You nodded, grinning. 

“Could’ve led with that,” he grumbled. 

“And miss the chance to humble your cocky ass? Never.” You hit him playfully on the shoulder.

He huffed a laugh, dragging his hand through his curls. “You’re evil.” 

“Sure. But you have to admit it was fun.” 

There was a pause then, charged and lingering. He stepped closer, and you could hear the distant thump of the ball as it bounced across the court, forgotten. “Do you always practice alone?” His voice was softer now. 

You shrugged in response. “Hard to find anyone willing to. Or if they are, we can never agree on a time.” 

He sighed. “Well, clearly this solo practice is working. Your skill is impressive. Honestly, I think it’s hot.” 

You raised a brow, but when you spoke, your tone held no bite. “You think losing to me is hot?” 

“No,” he said, biting back a boyish grin, “I think you kicking my ass while looking as incredible as you do is hot.” 

That earned him a small, surprised laugh, and he filed that sound away as a victory. It was better than winning, if he was honest with himself. 

“I’ll give you a rematch,” you said, turning to grab your stuff. “But only if you promise to try not to embarrass yourself again.”

“Oh sweetheart,” he said, still watching you like you were the center of the universe. “I promise.”

Ty for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!! Feedback is appreciated, and comments/reblogs mean the world <3

©ur-local-wizard translating, republishing, copying, or claiming my work as yours is not permitted. all my work belongs to me and me only. thank you!

taglist: @mattyriddlesbitch @sturniolover13 @thereeallink @voidangxls @gibsluv @viperify @winnie1emon @catching-fire-in-the-wind

[kisakis-boyfriend]

love your writing 🥰 shinchiro alphabet???

Author's Note: Thank you! One Shinichiro for you 🫴

For our 3000 follower celebration!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Honestly, Shinichiro acts a little drunk and goofy afterwards dfhakfjsk. He's more giggly, more open and vulnerable, and he's usually the one who needs to be grounded before you can continue on with your day/night.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Shin is a handyman through and through — that is, he likes his hands and yours the best.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

His cum is a little bitter, but otherwise it's unremarkable.

Likes having your cum on him, especially on his face.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Shinichiro wishes you could incorporate more puppy play into your sex life. He'd love nothing more than to be your good puppy, leashed and at your command for days on end. Your praise and soft dom attitude are all he would need to be happy~

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Bro has no idea what he's doing… obviously, he knows what sex is, but he has zero experience. Shinichiro doesn't even watch porn, so he's going into everything mostly blind.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. May include a visual)

He heavily prefers to be face to face, so any position that allows that is nice; missionary, cowgirl, sitting in your lap. Ironically, he also enjoys spooning that leads to sleepy sex. Having your arms wrapped around him is comforting.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Shinichiro is a little goofy. He makes some pretty terrible puns/dad jokes. It's adorable, albeit awkward 😅

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn't trim or shave at all, and yet, Shinichiro has the most beautiful, picturesque bush you've ever laid your eyes on. Literally everyone, regardless of gender, would be jealous of how pretty his hair is down there. He has a lovely happy trail as well ❤️

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Very intimate, very romantic, to no one's surprise. He cherishes every moment that your touch connects your bodies together.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

I'd say he jerks off a healthy amount. Shin definitely prefers to do it in private though, not a fan of jacking it out in the open for anyone to walk in on.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Hair pulling, CNC, and size difference 100%.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Just in your home/apartment is fine. Maybe possibly in his shop, if you're careful.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Having his waist touched, when you touch his lips, hearing you talk about how desperately you need to be inside him. Things like that 👌

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Brazenly public sex. Sorry, but Shinichiro does not want to be the center of attention in that way. x_x

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Both are good. He's come to really enjoy a nice 69, because that gives him the best of both worlds!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and sensual OR slow and rough are his favourite combos 😌

Slow and rough sex is the quickest way to make him cum, and sensual sex is the easiest way to get him into sub space.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

They're alright, but he would prefer proper sex please. Pumping a quick load into him before work can be really exciting, but you should be prepared for proper sex when he comes home later~

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

On occasion, yes. It all depends on what kind of risk we're talking about. He is into CNC, so trying out more kinks that are considered "risky/dangerous/etc" isn't entirely off the table, you just have to sit down and discuss it, of course.

Things like new positions, edging, using toys in public every once in a while are doable as well.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

Shinichiro could handle having sex multiple times per day, you just have to give him time to recover in between. Multiple rounds in a row is less likely, not unless you're ok with Shin falling asleep right afterwards 😅

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Does he own any; not really. If you get him a dildo or something, he's probably not going to refuse it, but he won't use it on himself either. Now, if you request to watch him fuck himself with something, he may oblige 👀

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not a tease at all. Shinichiro will attempt to tease you, but it's clearly a halfhearted attempt, and he'll drop it quickly if you just keep on with what you were doing.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Perhaps surprisingly, he's not a noisy guy during sex. He's not completely silent, but his moans are sparse and a comfortable volume. He hisses or inhales sharply more than anything.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Shinichiro loves spit. He spits on his own cock whenever he masturbates, enjoys when you tell him to open his mouth and then spit in it, and his cock will stiffen immediately if you spit on it.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I can't decide which one I like the idea of more: Average dick Shin, or big dick Shin. I'm leaning more towards average, 5 inches and not very thick. His dick curves upwards prominently, and his tip gets super red when he's aroused.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Moderate, I think. He's not a horny animal 24/7, but Shinichiro can get in the mood quickly if you know how to get him there.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depending on how long you fucked, he could fall asleep right after the fact. But more likely, Shinichiro will be able to remain awake, even if that means he's a little drowsy and cute.

[fallendev0tionvn]

Could we know some nsfw data about Clive?

(only if you aren't repulsed by sex, Clive wants to make you feel comfortable, he'd feel so so guilty if he even touched himself to you).

A = Aftercare: aftercare is crucial for him. He'll clean you up, all while whispering sweet praises about every inch of your body that the cloth grazes- he wants to make sure you're feeling adored and cherished.

B = Body part: he loves his height (he wants to intimidate people, guess why), but his favorite? his hands, he loves watching his fingers disappear inside you, thrusting in and out with the addicting slick sound they make/ loves seeing them wrapped around your length or seeing his palm pressed against your tip, teasing in circles.

Your body parts? all of you, but he's obsessed with your lips, especially when they're all swollen from his kisses.

C = Cum: when he's alone, he tries not to make too much of a mess. But with you?? not even a drop should go to waste.

Whether it's on your skin, your lips, or somewhere more..hidden, he loves watching how it drips out of you and the sight alone drives him insane. He'll always take his time, sliding his fingers back in to push every drop where it belongs. If you swallow, expect him to pull you into a heated kiss immediately after👁️

D = Dirty Secret: he craves you so much, he keeps the smallest pieces of you, even meaningless objects such as candy wrap. He's gotten you matching bracelets (also cause he cares about you and finds it cute ofc) so he can wear it while stroking himself, just to trick his mind into thinking it's you for a second, he'll warm his hand or cool it down to match your body temperature perfectly, poor baby cums so quick if it feels too realistic.

E = Experience: he isn't experienced, and he's never been into 🌽 so..

He's so eager to please you, he'll watch your expressions carefully, studying each reaction to figure out what you like. If you grab his hand and guide him- well! he's a quick learner, or visual learner, show him :3 jk

F = Favourite Position: any that lets him see your beautiful face- everything, from your reactions, breathing, the way you arch under his touch. Loves positions where he can hold you close, missionary, mating press, having you on his lap..in fact, please use his thigh to get o- jk.

If you ever want to try something different, like backshots as an example, the mirror becomes his favorite accessory. And if you dare to look away? he'll stop immediately.

"Eyes on the mirror, you need appreciate yourself darling."

G = Goofy: Clive is serious during intimacy, any intimacy actually, but if something funny happens, he'll chuckle softly to ease any awkwardness.

H = Hair: Clive grooms himself really well, though he keeps his happy trail. If you wanted him to wax it, he wouldn't mind, but...he secretly wishes you'd kiss along it, slowly working your way down to his aching member.

I = Intimacy: what can we expect from someone who reads romance webtoons to fantasize about you? every touch, every kiss, every caress, all laced with unspoken adoration. He wants to make you feel like you're the center of his world, because you are.

J = Jack Off: forget toys, he lives for your worn shirts, clutching them close as he ruts against his pillow, or as I mentioned earlier, he will do anything to make it feel or look like your hand💀 (he even bought the same perfume or cologne as you so..)

K = Kink: as a pleasure dom (maybe), he loves overstimulating you, light bondage- and the max is..temperature play.

Though...he wouldn't say no if you were the one edging him, he worships you, his body is yours👁️

L = Location: he prefers privacy, so the bedroom, but he wouldn't mind exploring with you. Though- he'll have to cover your mouth the whole time cause duh, only he gets to hear your noises, they're meant for him anyways.

M = Motivation: It depends on you, but honestly it doesn't take much, one teasing look and he's shifting uncomfortably in his chair👁️

N = NO: ageplay, cnc, dubcon, incest ecc, anything that makes you uncomfortable.

O = Oral: LOVES giving, takes his sweet time to savor every second, turns him on SO much he actually came untouched the first time..🏃‍♀️

P = Pace: he loves to take things slow, teasing you until you're on edge, then building up the intensity.

Q = Quickie: not his first choice, but if the time calls he'd absolutely indulge, promising that he'll take care of you like you deserve later.

R = Risk: He's willing to try anything you suggest but if it involves any harm or risk towards you, it's a sharp no.

S = Stamina: Clive can go longer than you'd imagine, you reactions and your pleasure fuel him, his jaw is about to dislocate? don't care, he's isn't done with you yet.

T = Toy: he doesn't own any toys, he'll try to respect your choice if you use them but poor guy is so scared you might like them better than him, will overstimulate himself for hours inside you, just to prove you can use him instead👁️

U = Unfair: teasing is his specialty. He'll trail kisses around your neck, whispering dirty promises, only to pull back when you need more, he wants you to be vocal with your needs.

V = Volume: he's definetely vocal and expressive; whimpers, soft gasps, praises, all in the most desperate and needy tone you can imagine.

W = Wild Card: his brain gets all fuzzy, he'll try not to confess too quickly but...💀

X = X-Ray: we've seen the image of his torso...and the other image..i had on my patreon....(i'll redraw it today cause hell no, don't join yet💀)

Y = Yearning: the more connected he feels to you, the more craves intimacy, it doesn't have to be sexual, just touch him :(

Z = ZZZ: he stays up watching you, brushing his fingers against your skin. Once he's sure you're safe and comfortable, he'll let himself drift to sleep.

[patchouii]

NBC’s Hannibal and fantastical realism: feats beyond the pale of human limitation

Nobody can deny that NBC’s Hannibal is especially unique and exemplary in its use of surrealism and elements of fantasy in a universe otherwise set in a version of our modern real world. These elements of mysticism and their loose yet easily understandable explanations provide both aesthetic and plot-driven benefits— this fictional universe isn’t as bound by physics and logic as ours, and that’s that, there’s no need to ask how a man grafted onto a tree as a public display was only found when dawn broke or how two violent and conflicted lovers have been confirmed to have survived a fall into the freezing ocean, bleeding from wounds we’d call mortal. NBC’s Hannibal elevates and abstracts Arthur C. Clarke’s statement that “magic is just science we don’t understand yet” on a revolutionary level, and the way that applies to certain characters is no different.

From what we see over the course of the show, some of the most fascinating and most obvious elements of this are the fantastical abilities and skills that various characters display. Will Graham, Hannibal Lecter, and Elliot Buddish (aka The Angel Maker) are the best examples of this. We can assume that rare abilities fall somewhere along a sliding scale that runs from favoring heightened physical skill to mental skill, and it’s possible that the strain these gifts put on the people who possess them can morph them into curses— from Will’s bout of encephalitis to Hannibal’s psychopathic urges to Elliot’s brain cancer, it seems that toeing the line of human limitation doesn’t come without its biological costs.

Will Graham is introduced to us as a troubled star profiler with an “empathy disorder”, a “pure empath”, as Hannibal phrases it. But this isn’t empathy in a real world sense, Will doesn’t just consider how others feel about things, in fact, he can be incredibly cruel and selfish. Will’s empathy is an ability rather than a trait— he can literally take on the perspectives and emotions of those he “empathizes” with as a form of telepathic psychometry. His empathy also allows him to envision whatever he wants, closing his eyes or willfully dissociating and entering a world of his own creation. He can will himself into hallucinations while still entirely lucid. This is something that’s psychologically and scientifically impossible. People’s brains just don’t work like that. It’s fantasy, straight up, and the psychologists of the show’s universe are seemingly unruffled by it other than in terms of its understudied rarity.

I’d wager that Elliot Buddish sits at the mid-point of that sliding scale of rare, heightened physical and mental abilities compared to Will’s more mentalistic leanings and Hannibal’s more physical and sensory-based ones. Elliot killed and displayed his victims as “angels”, believing that he could sense who was a sinner. But a state of psychosis can’t explain how every victim of his happened to be a killer, violent criminal or sexual predator. The BAU team had to run his victims through their database to reach the same conclusion, and Elliot distinguished sinners from average people through seeing their heads wreathed in flames, a visualization reminiscent of the “light bar” Will uses to visualize a crime scene from the start. The reason I think he falls in the middle of the abilities spectrum is because his suicide— suspending himself from a barn’s beams, cutting and tying wings from his own skin before bleeding to death— and the impossible pain tolerance and strength it required matches Hannibal’s more physically centered abilities too.

Hannibal Lecter is practically a monument to carnality in all its flavors and forms, from his incredibly violent past to his love for manipulating minds and bodies with equal dedication and his preference for human flesh. It makes sense, then, that his elevated abilities should lie within the realm of the physical instead— or perhaps his inclinations are partially a result of the nature of the skills he was born with. Hannibal’s senses are elevated beyond that of any human and even those of some other animal species— his sense of smell is so precise that he can detect particle traces of corn husk on the body of a killer’s victim who was covered in resin, blood and dirt and jumped into a river before being found bloated downstream in the midst of the bleach-laden BAU lab. He can pick up on hormonal fluctuations as well in a related way and can recognize certain mixes of hormones, which is just impossible in real life. He says that he could smell the stomach cancer on a teacher of his and recognizes that Bella Crawford has cancer too, and he picks up on the changes in bodily chemicals that herald Will’s encephalitis and the fear of his victims. The senses of smell and taste are somewhat intertwined, and he can “taste the fear” in Randall’s flesh as a result. His exploits stalking around houses, roads and neurology offices in the pitch-dark seem to imply better night vision, and his pain tolerance is simply inhuman, silent and stoic as he’s branded by Cordell and fully mobile even after being shot in the side by Dolarhyde.

These slightly supernatural reality-but-to-the-left elements in the world of the show have always intrigued me, honestly, and they really put the cherry on top of an already wonderful series. To me, they seem to pay homage to the occasional flashes of surrealism and thrilling unreality that run through Thomas Harris’s original novels, matching the crisp, straightforward prose in the show’s visual medium in a way that’s delightful to watch. I’ve never watched any other piece of media that twists and stretches the world of its story as captivatingly as this, and I don’t think I ever will.

[rabbitcruiser]

The Visualization Center C in Norrköping was inaugurated on 27 May 2010 by Carl XVI Gustaf.    

[dualityvn]

A little bit off topic from recent events, but Keith looks so beautiful.

Although the last post wasn't exactly happy or back to normal yet but I just want to take time to appreciate our sweetheart a little.

Keith looks like an angel. He always does. That was my first thought when I saw him in the flower shop, when he stood in my kitchen wearing Tenerbis's clothes(even if he doesn't like them really he still looked gorgeous), when he took me to dinner and rambled about flower language(I really find it interesting and sweet how he knows so much), and especially on that picnic in the forest where there was no one else(besides Tenten of course [cause I picked that option]). And when he was talking about that flower that's center resembles a bee's mate to attract them, only able to get pollinated if it does a good enough job I honestly found it a sad but deeply beautiful metaphor to himself or rather how he views himself.

He looked beautiful when he got a slightly new look, he looked beautiful with pink hair and honestly he looks beautiful with every emotion on display on his face. I find him stunning with a bright smile and those shining blue eyes, but I also find him breath taking even when he's angry or upset, when just his gaze could pierce trough my soul.

In the last arts he truly looked like an angry/hurt angel who slightly calmed down after destroying worlds.

And this is not specifically about his looks only. I know the words I used are usually to describe one's physical beauty but for Keith it's like he has that beauty in his soul, like even if his appearance changed 180° he would still be beautiful because it would be him.

(a little note to the dear creator, I am very sorry if I got something incorrect but I am writing this from plain memory and feeling, also english is not my first language. I have to admire the fact how you're handling this "drama" roleplay, you write every response with such care and feeling that at times I tend to forget that it is only roleplay and I get a tad concerned for Keith(or Tenebris when it was his case). It's truly amazing how much effort you put into the blog and keeping people updated on the progress too. I truly believe you made 2 of the most interesting and loveable characters(to me for sure did), perhaps in the whole visual novel industry too. This little ramble was just made because these past posts has really gave me a strong feeling towards Keith and I wanted to put it into words, I hope you don't mind.)

- C🌸

AAaa, thank you so much, C. You're way too kind. And don't worry, you didn't get anything wrong I don't think!

"F-flattery isn't going to get me to act nice again!" - Keith

[witchunderthewillow]

Bright New Year’s Magic: Zesty Lemon Bars 🍋✨

🍋 These bright, tangy treats are infused with the cleansing, uplifting energy of lemons and the grounding sweetness of real Mexican vanilla, perfect for clarity, renewal, and fresh starts. They’re simple to make, delicious to eat, and full of magical intention. 🌙

Yields: 9-12 bars

Ingredients for the Crust:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour (Foundation and grounding)

• 1/4 cup sugar (Sweetness and attraction)

• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted (Wealth and prosperity)

• 1/2 tsp real Mexican vanilla extract (Love, and magical sweetness)

Ingredients for the Filling:

• 2 large eggs (Fertility and new beginnings)

• 1 cup sugar (Sweetness and celebration)

• Juice and zest of 1 lemon (Clarity, joy, energy)

• 2 tbsp all-purpose flour (Stability and structure)

• 1/2 tsp baking powder (Rising energy and expansion)

Directions:

1. Preheat Your Oven:

Set the temperature to 350°F (175°C). Grease an 8x8-inch baking dish or line it with parchment paper for easy removal.

2. Prepare the Crust:

• Mix the flour, sugar, melted butter, and Mexican vanilla in a bowl until crumbly.

• Press the mixture firmly into the bottom of your baking dish, envisioning a solid foundation for your intentions.

• Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until lightly golden. Let it cool slightly.

3. Make the Filling:

• In a medium bowl, whisk together the eggs, sugar, lemon juice, lemon zest, flour, and baking powder.

• As you mix, focus on your New Year intentions: clarity, renewal, and fresh beginnings.

4. Bake the Lemon Bars:

• Pour the filling over the baked crust.

• Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the filling is set and doesn’t jiggle in the center.

5. Cool, Slice, and Garnish:

• Allow the bars to cool completely before slicing into squares.

• Dust with powdered sugar to add a touch of sweetness and visual magic (spirals or sigils are extra powerful here!).

Magical Correspondences:

• Lemon: Purification, clarity, joy. Perfect for cutting through old energy and starting fresh.

• Vanilla: Love, grounding, and sweetness. Adds depth to your intentions and fosters a comforting atmosphere.

• Sugar: Sweetness, attraction, positive energy.

• Flour: Grounding and stability, building a strong foundation for your intentions.

• Eggs: Fertility, creation, and the birth of new ideas.

Beautiful way to channel New Year’s energy. They can also be offered as a treat to your deities, spirits, or ancestors. 🍋 Serve them with love and gratitude to bring joy into your home. ✨

[helloiamadrawer]

𝘟𝘓𝘙8 𝘕𝘚𝘍𝘞 𝘈𝘭𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘣𝘦𝘵

A/n: so I had a Ben 10 era a month ago and literally XLR8 was one of my faves soo I wrote this and I might write a sfw alphabet for him too idk?? This is based on when Ben IS NOT transformed into the aliens (basically I wrote how XLR8 would be personality wise) anyway enjoy!

All characters are AGED UP!!

A-Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

He's already had everything out (towels, water, a hot bath,etc.) before y'all even did the deed?? Well that's no shocker really for the speed demon who loves and cares for you unconditionally. And how can he not forget the best part..cuddles! He likes being big spoon for the most part uwu

B-Body Part (fav parts on themselves and their partner)

XLR8 would be lying if he didn't say his legs since they are his modes of transportation but its a tough decision between that or his eyes. His lover however, he would like to say everything but his top choices are their thighs and neck. Cause he sometimes can't help but to think of the many sinful ways he can mark both places so roughly to remind you who you belong to.

C-Cum (anything to do with cum)

It's a nice contrast when on contact with his skin, as for the taste, it has no/little flavor but at least swallowable. As for places he likes to cum on, he can't really decide but if he were to choose it would definitely be your stomach.

D-Dirty Secret

He hates to admit it but he wants his arms and legs bounded in ribbon while you tease him in the worst ways possible that he'll have no choice to break out of the restraints and finally have his way with you..

E-Experience

Thanks to his advanced thinking it did not take him long to learn the basic aspects of sex once matured and quickly have you under his thrall for you two's first time. Eager to learn new things, he's quite skilled as his movements are filled by his love for you and a bit of his ego. Once you tell him what you want, he's grasped it in the center of his claws.

F-Fav Position

Eagle or Pinball Wizard; visual here and here

G-Goofy or Serious?

He's a combination, one night you and him can be giggling about when you called your kineceleran boyfriend a "horny ass lizard" as he was giving you head and he kinda laughed then accidentally his chin bumped into you lol. But when he gets more focused into the act itself, he wants to hear you plead for him, moan for him, feel his every motion whenever inside or outside your frame that is ever so dear to him as everything else is.

(skipping H because XLR8 has no hair)

I-Intimacy (the romantic aspect)

XLR8 actually takes his sweet time with you and uses his incredible speed less frequently. when he's fallen for someone he will NOT stop talking about it all the while thinking about it nor making sure everything is perfect whenever he sets up a date or just a day for just you two to hang (or bang hehe) but he gives his all for you, no matter what. Never scared to make the first move in public to let everyone know who you're with.

J-Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

I'm calling it, kinecelerans have very high sex drives. And so with that being said, you leave him for five minutes or good heavens even longer than that, he's already grinding himself needily against one of your pillows covered in your scent. It already makes him so hard, his cock already dribbling precum as he pleads and whimpers out your name in his hushed but gravelly voice, and in minutes yet maybe seconds comes undone ,tail curling in excitement as he rides out his high.

K-Kinks

Bondage- XLR8 can restrain you w/ his tail. Either it’d be wrapped around your neck, waist or trapping your wrists together. Foreplay or not, he loves taking control in that kind of way. Tail Fucking- If you think he's not going to use his tail first before his cock in you then you're sorely mistaken. He’ll test the waters first to see how wet you are, and then maybe just maybe he’ll nudge the first inch of his tail into your entrance, feeling that certain tightness that makes him want nothing more than to impale you right then and there. If he chooses that you're ready for more, the thickness of the first half stretches you out almost like his cock so blissfully even when he starts moving it. Note: it hasn't been the main event.. Marking-

There's nothing XLR8 likes more than decorating your body all in hickeys and love bites. Going the extra mile, teasing your thighs with licks and kisses before you actually mentally curse at him to go down on you.

L-Location

Mostly in the bedroom but when he wants to get real cocky, he will fuck you against the window, not even caring if anyone watches if by chance they catch a glimpse of you two, his ego will go sky high.

M-Motivation

You in general, your laugh, your smile, your scent and even how you react to his every touch and kiss he gives upon your body. In short, what gets you going usually gets him going.

N-No (things they would NOT do)

Anything that you're not comfortable with. Plain and simple.

O-Oral

Look, I bet both genders would love and adore the way XLR8 gives head. If you have a nice, warm and wet space in between your legs, the alien will devour you whole like it's his last supper, exploring your plush walls with his expert tongue and then sweeping over your swollen clit back and forth until you lose control. Or...if you have a dick, he'll take your shaft deep into his throat, bob his head up and down a bit before coming back up and swirling his tounge up and across your tip.. 10/10 would try again

P-Pace (are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?)

Most days he'll set the pace fast but never using his speed, his cock ruining your precious hole in the greatest way possible. Snarling lewd praises in your ear as you're blissfully pushed to the limi, screaming out his name.. But. Being a fast coded alien doesn't mean he doesn't like taking the slow route sometimes cause there's times where he likes making it last through one, long whole round and doing it all again after you both are flushed and sweaty from just one high makes him want to do it all over again.

Q-Quickies

Quick is XLR8's middle name wether it's riding his thigh before you have to go to work to knocking one out before that zoom call interview. Although, he can never prefer that over actually having sex with his lover.

R-Risk

He'll go as far as semi public sex. Dressing room sex, in a car, and if you're into the whole app controlled vibrator thing in public, you're gonna have a lot of fun then (more like he will)

S-Stamina (how many rounds can they go for?)

Is that even a question?? Normally 3 or 4 (maybe 5, depends on you) before you either tap out or use the safe word, either way it'll take a while before you can get used to not getting so worn out by the second or third but he understands that you're human and you can only take so much pleasure before it becomes too much.

T-Toys (do they use toys? If so, on themselves, on you or both?)

XLR8 doesn't really use them on himself, but on you 100% he will if you consent.

Xlr8 and toys are a great combination. He's more game for using them on you than himself. His voice taunting you with teaseful ministrations, watching your every reaction "Feels good doesnt it? Would be such a shame if i were to turn it off~" "It hasn't even been five minutes and you're already wet..this thing really is powerful." "I bet you had lotsa' fantasies of me doing this to you, huh?" If you persuade him to let you use a toy on him but nothing crazy. a stroker one day, maybe a vibrator another time but the sounds that come from his mouth are so worth riling him up for.

U-Unfair (are they a big tease?)

He's fair but mostly unfair for the most part, he'll have his cock half sheathed inside your plush walls and when he gets ever so close to your g spot he'll pull back and make you whine and beg with that pretty mouth of yours,to promise him that you'll be a good girl when eventually he will let you have it tenfold via overstimulation

V-Vocal (are quiet or loud during sex?)

Not quite loud but not quiet either, his breathing will get shaky when he's close, some panting against your neck and when he's near your ears he'll make sure you hear his satiable dirty talk that claims to make you mentally shut down in a good way

W-Wild Card (random headcanon)

Lil story of he found out your ears are also an erogenous zone:

both of you got into a little play fight and once XLR8 had you pinned down (quite swiftly I must say), out hatched an idea he was close to your ear as he took a moment to lightly blow against the shell of it and boy the reaction he got; your face all red as Four Arms' skin as your whole body shuddered, your hands latched around his waist, pulling the kineceleran down a bit so you could bury your face into his neck, whining. The blue alien chuckles cheekily, "oh I'm sorry, did that turn you on?"

"shut..up you-ah~" your remark was cut short by the feeling of your boyfriend's tongue sweeping over the outer frame of your ear and thus, your binaural kink was exposed

X-X-ray (what's going on in those pants)

(we are gonna keep it simple since he is male, not technical)

His cock stands proud at a great length of 7 inches with a prominent vein protruding on the left side, able to please you at multiple angles and sure it may be a struggle to slide into your mouth the first few times until you get used to it, but it's not really girthy. Might I add it's all black (no racial) so when he cums, the off-white gives quite a cool contrast with it tho

My analysis rank: 7.5/10

Y-Yearning

see J for source of yearning

He can go about a day w/o you and he's already touching himself the next day waiting for you to come back from work cause he wants you so bad, at least it's you he's thinking about lol

Z-Zzz (are they sleepy or awake after doing the deed?)

Since he has lots of stamina, he'll either pamper you first while he gets cleaned up, run you both a bath and then you're back in the bed dozing off on his chest, a smile forming on his blue features as he eventually rests along with you 💖

[yamayuandadu]

Pride Month special 2025: shifts in gender, shifts in character. A Mesopotamian deity triple feature

The following article, in addition to being a pride month special, is also the third installment of a series which started with Nonconformity, ambiguity, fluidity and misinterpretation: on the gender of Inanna (and a few others) and continued in Ninshubur(s), Ilabrat, Papsukkal and the gala: another inquiry into ambiguity and fluidity of gender of Mesopotamian deities. This time instead of looking at the gender of a specific deity or category of deities I’ll instead discuss three remarkable cases in which a deity’s gender shifted: a mourning goddess turned fire god; a second, originally female, Dumuzi (feat. two unique passages which are as close to non-subtextual Inanna f/f as we can get for now - caveats apply); and a divine clerk in the service of Inanna who went from god to goddess without any other apparent changes.

Note that while I previously said this will be the final installment of the series, I have since realized at least one more will be necessary - stay tuned for further updates.

For now, more under the cut, as usual.

From mourning mother to “the handsome one”: Lisin (and Ninsikila)

Lisin already appears in the Zame Hymns from Abu Salabikh (c. 2500 BCE), one of the oldest religious texts presently known. She is the last of the deities listed, and her corresponding cult center is ĜEŠ.GI (reading uncertain), possibly to be identified as Abu Salabikh itself (Manfred Krebernik, Jan J. W. Lisman, The Sumerian Zame Hymns from Tell Abū Ṣalābīḫ With an Appendix on the Early Dynastic Colophons, p. 14). The hymn is fairly formulaic, and doesn’t say much about Lisin beyond her connection with ĜEŠ.GI. She is referred to with the title ama, literally “mother”, though it is unlikely that it should be taken literally. Instead it most likely functions as an indicator of her role as the tutelary goddess of the corresponding city  (The Sumerian Zame Hymns…, 46). 

A lament focused on Lisin (Lisin A; as you can see here it’s part of the ECSL system, but isn’t actually accessible online), written in first person from her perspective, portrays her mourning the death of an unnamed son, for which she blames her own mother, Ninhursag. She states that this event made her lonely, and that she has no friends or neighbors. The description of mourning itself is fairly formulaic, with all the expected mentions of tearing  her own hair, performing lacerations, et cetera. While multiple copies are known, they are imperfectly preserved, and not much can be said about it beyond that (Christopher Metcalf, Sumerian Literary Texts in the Schøyen Collection, p. 52-56). 

Lisin’s importance declined by the Old Babylonian period (c. 1800 BCE), if not earlier (Piotr Michalowski, Lisin in RlA vol. 7, p. 33). However, that was not the end of this deity’s history. At an uncertain point after the decline, the name was rediscovered by compilers of god lists. They correctly noticed that Lisin had a spouse, Ninsikila, but that was about it - not even the gender of those two deities was evident to them. Since Lisin typically comes first in older sources, up to the Old Babylonian period (Lisin…, p 32), the new generations of theologians concluded that the former must have been male and the latter female, effectively switching their genders around, as attested for example in An = Anum (Julia M. Asher-Greve, Joan Goodnick Westenholz, Goddesses in Context: On Divine Powers, Roles, Relationships and Gender in Mesopotamian Textual and Visual Sources, p. 103). To be entirely fair to them - in Old Babylonian sources listing couples together, such as the Nippur god list, the husbands pretty much always precede the wives (Goddesses in Context…, p. 80). It was a decent guess to make based on evidence available to them.

The cylinders of Gudea (wikimedia commons)

A second factor might have been the phonetic similarity between the name of Ninsikila and that of a goddess from Dilmun (Bahrain) at some point introduced to Mesopotamia (Lisin…, p. 32). Despite actually being named Meskilak, the latter could even be referred to as Ninsikila in Mesopotamian sources, as already documented in the long composition preserved on the cylinders of Gudea (Manfred Krebernik, Meskilak, Mesikila, Ninsikila in RlA vol. 8, p. 94). Lisin also developed a distinct new role as a fire deity in apotropaic magic, though it’s not certain if that first happened after the change of gender or before (Markham J. Geller, Healing Magic and Evil Demons. Canonical Udug-hul Incantations, p. 310; Michalowski favors a late date; Lisin…, p. 33). Through dubious linguistic exegesis relying on alternate sign values and homonymy - a favorite pastime of priests and other similar experts in the first millennium BCE - Lisin's name was provided with a new etymology, too. Both cuneiform signs forming it also had readings pertaining to fire (or at least were homonyms of signs which did), so as attested in an esoteric explanatory text (BM 47463) it came to be explained as “he who burns with fire”, “the burning one” or “he who burns an offering”. A further “translation” which arose as a result of similar inquiries was “the handsome one”, relying on the use of a homonym of the sign SI from Lisin’s name being a logographic representation of Akkadian banû (Alasdair Livingstone, Mystical and Mythological Explanatory Works of Assyrian and Babylonian Scholars, p. 60-61).

A Kassite period depiction of Nanaya on a kudurru (wikimedia commons) One final step in Lisin’s career was the incorporation into the court of Nanaya in Borsippa in the late first millennium BCE (Rocío Da Riva, Gianluca Galetti, Two Temple Rituals from Babylon, p. 192). In a single case, the two of them alone occur in a ritual (Two Temple Rituals…, p. 220). In another, Lisin is just one of many courtiers listed (Two Temple Rituals…, p. 192; Usur-amassu, who will be discussed later, shows up too).

Sadly, as far as I am aware no sources shed any additional light on how exactly the connection between Lisin and Nanaya was conceptualized. It was possible to establish how it most likely developed, though. Nanaya’s temple in Borsippa - the Euršaba (“house, oracle of the heart”) - shared its ceremonial name with a temple of Lisin (Two Temple Rituals…, p. 203). While Lisin’s original Euršaba was located in Umma, a city which didn’t even exist anymore by the first millennium BCE, it continued to be referenced in laments and, most important, has an entry in the Canonical Temple List (Andrew R. George, House Most High. The Temples of Ancient Mesopotamia, p. 157). We know that in late periods theological lists could be essentially strip mined for deities to integrate into a city’s pantheon, as well documented in Seleucid Uruk (Julia Krul, The Revival of the Anu Cult and the Nocturnal Fire Ceremony at Late Babylonian Uruk, p. 261). It’s easy to imagine something similar happened in Borsippa as well. The original temple would doubtlessly be long forgotten by the late first millennium BCE, so a priest stumbling upon a reference to Lisin being worshiped there and concluding the local namesake temple is meant instead strikes me as entirely believable.

To be entirely fair, I think there’s a second possibility, though it doesn’t necessarily contradict that proposed by Rocío Da Riva and Gianluca Galetti. One of the rituals pertaining to Lisin’s new role in the Euršaba mentions a cultic installation dedicated to Nabu (Two Temple Rituals…, p. 193). Elsewhere, in astronomical texts, a star named after Lisin (Antares) is associated with Nabu and Borsippa, despite the origin of the name (Hermann Hunger, Lisi(n), RlA vol. 7, p. 32). Zachary Rubin argues that Lisin might accordingly be a stand-in for Nabu in a colophon from Borsippa which lists him together with Nanaya (The Scribal God Nabû in Ancient Assyrian Religion and Ideology, p. 70). However, the cult of Nanaya in Euršaba had no strong connection to Nabu to speak of overall (Goddesses in Context…, p. 282), and as far as I know that is the only house of worship in the city Lisin was introduced to.

From a modern perspective, the gradual shift from a dime a dozen mourning goddess to a one of a kind god certainly might feel almost like trans coding. Ultimately it’s pretty much entirely accidental, though - it’s doubtful anyone involved in Lisin’s theological transformations was aware of the full history of this deity.

(The other) "Dumuzi, she herself": Dumuzi-abzu

Tell al-Hiba, the ruins of Lagash, in 2016 (wikimedia commons) In the third millennium BCE, roughly at the same time when Lisin enjoyed a position of relative prominence in the Zame Hymns, the local pantheon of the state of Lagash included the goddess Dumuzi-abzu. This name can be translated as “good child of the abzu” (Gebhard J. Selz, Untersuchungen zur Götterwelt des altsumerischen Stadtstaates von Lagaš, p. 114). Something that needs to be addressed right off the bat is that the abzu is extremely unlikely to be personified in this case, and it’s virtually impossible Dumuzi-abzu is literally supposed to be the child of the literary character people usually think of today when they hear this term. Prior to the compilation of the Enuma Elish in the late second millennium BCE, which famously pairs Abzu and Tiamat as a theogonic couple, abzu was rarely, if ever, regarded as a deity as opposed to a location (Wilfred G. Lambert, Babylonian Creation Myths, p. 217-218). In a number of sources from between the Early Dynastic and Old Babylonian periods it isn’t even consistently a designation of the watery subterranean domain of Enki/Ea, and might instead be described as mountainous (like in Enmerkar and the Lord of Aratta or the hymn Ishme-Dagan D). A variety of sources, including the Temple Hymns attributed to Enheduanna, use it as a poetic term for sanctuaries, making it potentially quite vague depending on context (The Sumerian Zame Hymns…, p. 95). What exactly does it entail in this specific case? Hard to tell, though there were many sanctuaries referred to with the term abzu in Lagash in the third millennium BCE, with Dumuzi-abzu possibly originating in one of them. Furthermore, interpreting the name as “good child of the sanctuary” would be a sensible parallel to fellow Lagashite deity Dumuzi-gu'ena, “good child of the throne room” (Akiko Tsujita, Dumuziabzu. A Goddess and a God, p. 8-9).

Dumuzi-abzu was the tutelary goddess of Kinunir (or Kinirsha), a lost city located somewhere in the proximity of Lagash (Goddesses in Context…, p. 61). We know very little about her character otherwise, though it can be safely assumed that she was closely associated with Nanshe and her daughter Nin-MAR.KI (Untersuchungen zur Götterwelt…, p. 116). Offering lists group her with the likes of Nindara, Ninshubur, Hendursaga and other figures of similarly moderate importance in this part of Mesopotamia (Untersuchungen zur Götterwelt…, p. 115).

At least in Lagash, Dumuzi-abzu’s name could be shortened just to Dumuzi (Untersuchungen zur Götterwelt…, p. 114). Manfred Krebernik actually proposed that every single reference to a deity named Dumuzi in Early Dynastic texts - not just from this one state, but also from sites like Tell Fara - pertains to her, and not to Inanna’s spouse, who at the time would be primarily known as Amaushumgalanna (Manfred Krebernik, Drachenmutter und Himmelsrebe? Zur Frühgeschichte Dumuzis und seiner Familie, p. 163-164). This might be too radical of an approach, though (Gebhard J. Selz, Dumuzi(d)s Wiederkehr, p. 215), and it has been suggested that even in Lagash at least in theophoric names Dumuzi might be, well, Dumuzi (Untersuchungen zur Götterwelt…, p. 116). 

As of 2024, it remains uncertain when Dumuzi became the default name of Inanna’s spouse, though first unambiguous examples are available from the Sargonic period, and it can be established with certainty that it was used fully interchangeably with Amaushumgalanna by the Old Babylonian period (Jana Matuszak, Hanan Abd Alhamza Alessawe, A Sargonic Exercise Tablet Listing “Places of Inanna” and Personal Names, p. 37). This doesn’t really change the fact that Dumuzi himself “did not belong to the leading deities in any period of Mesopotamian history” and his inflated modern importance owes a lot to the Golden Bough and similar disreputable sources (Bendt Alster, Tammuz(/Dumuzi) in RlA vol. 13, p. 433-434). This is not the time and place for further exploration of this topic, though.

Dumuzi-abzu was eventually seemingly largely subsumed into Dumuzi, but that only happened after her decline as an actively worshiped deity after the Ur III period, which in turn was a result of the area of the former state of Lagash losing its importance (Dumuziabzu…, p. 11-12). The god list An = Anum from the Kassite period identifies Dumuzi-abzu as a male deity, and as one of the sons of Enki, with no reference to any associations with Kinunir, Lagash, or deities from its pantheon. This is presumably a result of a reinterpretation of the abzu in the name as Enki’s dwelling. The shift in gender meanwhile reflected confusion with Dumuzi (Dumuziabzu…, p. 10-12). Andrew R. George suggests that Dumuzi-abzu came to be understood as a title designating the regular Dumuzi during his annual stay in the underworld, based on a broader pattern of confusion between the abzu (in this context explicitly the domain of Enki/Ea, ie. a mythical subterranean sea) and the land of the dead (The Babylonian Gilgamesh Epic: Introduction, Critical Edition and Cuneiform Texts, p. 861). The apparent conflation of Dumuzi and Dumuzi-abzu resulted in at least one further curiosity relevant to this article. There is a unique love poem which addresses Inanna’s lover, who is left nameless through most of the composition, as Dumuzi-abzu, as opposed to simply Dumuzi. Sumerian has no grammatical gender, so technically it would not be impossible to translate the relevant passage as if the traditional female Dumuzi-abzu was the target of Inanna’s affection, though obviously this is not exactly a plausible interpretation (Bendt Alster, Sumerian Love Songs, p. 143).

Modern replica of a typical Mesopotamian lyre on display in the Iraq Museum (wikimedia commons); in all due likeness Ninigizibara was envisioned with, or as, a similar instrument Surprisingly, Dumuzi-abzu isn’t the only usually feminine figure who got to replace Dumuzi in the role of Inanna’s spouse in an unusual composition. A single late copy of the lament Uru’amma’irabi (BM 38593) casts Ninigizibara as Inanna’s husband (Wolfgang Heimpel, Balang-Gods, p. 588). Usually this deity was described as a goddess, a harp (or lyre) player and a courtier of Inanna (Goddesses in Context…, p. 115). The unique copy is self-contradictory though, since on one hand an Akkadian gloss interprets Ninigizibara as masculine, on the other the passage itself refers to the deity as a “lady” (gašan), as opposed to “lord” (Balang-Gods, p. 588).

Son turned daughter: Usur-amassu

In contrast with Lisin and Dumuzi-abzu, who both became somewhat malleable simply because they were no longer worshiped, the final major case I’ll discuss is a deity who started as a largely irrelevant figure, but arose to a position of prominence only after their gender changed.

A god named Usur-amassu (“obey his command”, possibly implicitly “obey Adad’s command” given the two are defined as father and son in An = Anum) is first documented in the Old Babylonian period; in other words, roughly when the careers of Lisin and Dumuzi-abzu were already in shambles. As is often the case with minor deities, the earliest evidence are theophoric names, one example being Usur-awassu-gamil. However, it’s worth noting the name was itself a given name in the first place, with prominent bearers including a king of Eshnunna (Paul-Alain Beaulieu, The Pantheon of Uruk During the Neo-Babylonian Period, p. 229)

Uruk in the late first millennium BCE (artefacts-berlin.de; reproduced here for educational purposes only, in accordance with the terms of use)

Usur-amassu at some point came to be worshiped in Uruk. The oldest source attesting to this is a short text commemorating the dedication of a field by Kaššu-bēl-zēri, who served as a governor of the Sealand. Sadly nothing about the text makes precise dating possible; however, the element Kaššu is fairly rare in personal names, and was only in the vogue for a couple of decades, roughly between 1008 BCE and 955 BCE (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 225-226). However, in this city Usur-amassu was regarded as a goddess, not a god. This is surprising, as the name is grammatically masculine - and the person “asked” to obey is supposed to be the bearer (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 229).

It should be noted this is hardly the only case where the grammatical gender of a name doesn’t match the gender of a deity, though. As I discussed in the article about Inanna and gender linked in the lead, the name Ishtar is grammatically masculine despite not only functioning as a feminine theonym but even being the source of one of the two generic words for goddess in Akkadian. Looking further, the husband of Nungal, the goddess of prisons, bore the feminine name Birtum (“fetters”; Antoine Cavigneaux, Manfred Krebernik, Nungal in RlA vol. 9, p. 617; I doubt that we are dealing with a Bronze Age equivalent of a he/him lesbian, though I think it would be a fun way to provide this generally irrelevant deity with more personality). There is also the entire phenomenon of nin names, though it is likely that despite being conventionally translated as “lady”, “mistress” etc. this term was initially gender neutral (Goddesses in Context…, p. 6).

To be entirely fair, we do have clear instances of Usur-amassu’s name being partially modified after the shift in gender - the spelling Usur-amassa occurs in Kaššu-bēl-zēri’s dedication and in Neo-Assyrian sources, and while in the Neo-Babylonian period Usur-amassu predominates, this reflects a change in the feminine possessive pronominal suffix in Akkadian, and thus keeps the name equally feminine. The first element was never adjusted, though, and the expected Usri-amassu (or Usri-amassa) is nowhere to be found (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 228-229).

In at least one case, Usur-amassu’s gender was indicated by the use of a double determinative -  the standard dingir (“deity”), which prefaced theonyms, was combined with innin (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 228), a variant of Inanna’s name which could also function as a generic term for goddesses, at least in Uruk (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 122).

It might be worth noting that a somewhat similar practice is documented in Old Babylonian Mari, where dingir could be combined with nin for similar purposes. In a single case this created a minor conundrum for researchers, as one of the deities designated this way (to be fair, only in a single source) is Lagamal (“no mercy”; ironically known well from the personal name Lagamal-gamil, “Lagamal is merciful”), who is otherwise firmly a god. Possibly two unrelated deities with the same name arose in two different cities (Gianni Marchesi, Nicolò Marchetti, A Babylonian Official at Tilmen Höyük in the Time of King Sumu-la-el of Babylon, p. 5)

Paul-Alain Beaulieu assumes that the shift in Usur-amassu’s gender had something to do with her introduction to Uruk and subsequent incorporation into the court of Inanna, and that accordingly the name came to be understood as “obey her (ie. Inanna’s) command)”, though he doesn’t pursue this point further (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 229).

One might be tempted to wonder if perhaps the situation has something to do with Inanna’s oft cited association with change of gender (or at least of gender roles). I personally find this implausible. As I already discussed in the first article from this cycle, in sources which were contemporary with Usur-amassu’s arrival in Uruk this ability tends to be invoked in a highly specific, negative context. “May she change him from a man to a woman” and similar formulas appear as a penalty for oathbreakers in royal inscriptions and treaties, as first attested during the reign of Tukulti-Ninurta I. The aforementioned formulas constitute a threat of the loss of a very specific sort of performative masculinity associated with "heroism" or martial valor. More broadly the threat of a change of gender also reflects the fear of a loss of autonomy, something generally tied to masculinity in everyday life in ancient Mesopotamia (Gina Konstantopoulos, My Men Have Become Women, and My Women Men: Gender, Identity, and Cursing in Mesopotamia; Ilona Zsolnay “Goddess of War, Pacifier of Kings”: An Analysis of Ištar’s Martial Role in the Maledictory Sections of the Assyrian Royal Inscriptions).

This is not really a good parallel to Usur-amassu's mysterious "transition". Perhaps most importantly, every single reference to it has humans be affected by the reversal, not gods. There is also no evidence that Usur-amassu was perceived negatively - in contrast with anyone who would hypothetically break a royal oath. Furthermore, nothing really indicates that her role changed alongside her gender. In An = Anum and the incantation series Šurpu the male version is grouped with his brother Misharu (“justice”) and Ishartu (“righteousness”); the sources pertaining to the feminine version from Uruk similarly portray her as a deity of justice, “who renders judgment for the land”, essentially a divine judiciary clerk (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 229). In contrast with martial valor, as far as deities go this role is pretty clearly not really tied to masculinity - or femininity, for that matter (for an overview of judiciary deities and their perception see Manfred Krebernik, Richtergott(heiten) in RlA vol. 11). The change of gender also seemingly didn’t impact Usur-amassu’s preexisting connections, as an inscription from Uruk dated to the reign of Nabonassar explicitly refers to her as a daughter (bukrat) of Adad (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 228).

It’s unclear how Usur-amassu was introduced to the local pantheon of Uruk, but evidently she won over the inhabitants of Uruk pretty quickly. In the Neo-Assyrian period she was one of the deities representing the city during coronations of Assyrian rulers (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 227). In the following Neo-Babylonian period she was one of the five main deities of the city, next to Inanna/Ishtar, Nanaya, Urkayitu (“the Urukean”, an epithet of Inanna turned into a personification of the city) and Bēltu-ša-Rēš (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 179). Thanks to Usur-amassu’s reasonably prominent position in the pantheon of Uruk, she is well represented in the Eanna archives, which document assorted paraphernalia prepared for statues representing her (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 230-244). As a curiosity I feel obliged to point out that in one case a necklace belonging to Usur-amassu was loaned for a festival of Dumuzi (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 335-336). Alas, this evident prominence is not really reflected in publications aimed at general audiences, let alone in popculture. Last attestations of Usur-amassu come from the period of Seleucid rule over Mesopotamia. She retained a degree of importance in Uruk, as expected (The Pantheon of Uruk…, p. 227). The Eanna actually didn’t exist anymore, but like other deities associated with it she was simply moved to the freshly built Irigal instead (The Revival…, p. 90). Regardless of whether the shift in her gender had anything to do with the primary denizen of both temples, evidently their association was close enough to keep Usur-amassu afloat for the final few centuries of the city’s history.

Postscriptum

This article was initially intended as a pride month special in… 2023? Possibly earlier? I ended up abandoning its original form for a time, and eventually cannibalized its two most major sections, dealing with Shaushka, Ninsianna and Pinikir, for the recent article about Inanna, deities associated with her, and gender. I couldn’t just discard the rest, though, and now you can finally read it all. Much of the information is already on wikipedia through my long term efforts, but now it’s also accessible here, with some extra speculation as a bonus. While this is ostensibly a pride month special, technically none of the sources discussed are really focused on lgbt matters, unless you squint really hard at the two unusual passages I brought up in Dumuzi-abzu’s section. However, I still think the topic of deity gender changes is interesting - if nothing else, it shows that gender was no less malleable than any other aspect of a deity’s character under the rain circumstances. And the process cannot always be neatly explained.

Furthermore, nothing really prevents one from trying to rationalize the changes as a reflection of the respective deities’ identities in a work of fiction featuring them. It’s important to remember that Mesopotamian gods were reinterpreted to meet the needs of new audiences many times, with contemporary institutions, social phenomena or geopolitical developments projected back into the mythical past, especially in literary works (attributing downfall of legendary rulers to insufficient devotion to Marduk is particularly funny, seeing how late his rise to prominence was). Trying to condense Lisin’s puzzling history into something coherent and making him a trans man in the process would thus, arguably, be just a modern example of a similar phenomenon. As long as you don’t alter the content of the actual historical sources, this sort of playful engagement with the material seems more than fine.