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novafire-is-thinking · 2 months ago

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Medic, Maverick, Maniac, Murderer: Understanding Pharma

First thing’s first: I love Pharma, dearly.

In all the time I’ve spent evaluating his character, I’ve mainly focused on what can be worked out about who he is as an individual: his core sense of self, psychological drives, subjective worldview, etc.

When all else is stripped away, who is Pharma?

This treatise is the product of obsessing over Pharma, analyzing canon (and extras), and reading as many different perspectives on his character from fans across the fandom as I could find. The post is long, so for those of you who balk at the thought of reading a shortfic’s worth of Pharma thoughts, feel free to read the TL;DR (Conclusion) at the end and then decide if the full read is worth your time. Also, a premium reading experience is available in the form of the original Google Doc version.

As you read, keep in mind that this is primarily a mix of psychoanalysis, evidence-based examination, and speculation—not moral, ethical, or sociological commentary. The goal is to examine Pharma’s psychological drives and core values, and each of his appearances in the context of those. All other types of evaluation are up to readers.

Now, take your victim blaming-allergy meds (just in case); remove your black-and-white thinking caps; and leave your personal morality lenses at the door.

Psychological Drives & Core Values

Why does Pharma act the way he does? What gives him a reason to keep living? What are his personal priorities?

At the beginning of the Delphi arc, First Aid establishes Pharma as a “control freak” and someone who “thinks he’s an expert on everything.”

Now, First Aid has a habit of complaining about his bosses, but on both points, there’s canon evidence to back them both.

Expertise and Intellect

Throughout the Delphi and Luna 1 arcs, it’s established that Pharma is a skilled and brilliant doctor.

He once performed a 4-way fuel pump transplant, donating his own fuel pump in the process. (see above panel)

Later, he invented a soundbomb that left an echo laced with a virus and invented an antidote to that virus:

And on Luna 1, he was on the edge of finding a cure for Cybercrosis, based on the fact that Swerve was able to formulate a cure from his notes.

More than being a doctor, Pharma lives for intellectual and scientific achievement as a physician scientist. He feels most alive when he’s able to solve complex medical problems, and when his achievements are recognized by those whose opinion he considers important.

This is Pharma’s 'why.'

And even though he’s arrogant and enjoys praise, it’s not his primary motivation. He doesn’t need it in order to set his mind to whatever he’s interested in, although he’ll seek it from those he values most (i.e. Ratchet).

Pharma sees himself as less of a doctor, and more as a scientific innovator or medical maverick. The practice of medicine is primarily a catalyst for his creativity and intellect; it’s not an end in and of itself like it is for someone like Ratchet or First Aid.

First Aid’s observation of Pharma can be better phrased as, “[Pharma] thinks he’s an expert on everything medical”—because he’s not so driven by achievement and admiration that he’ll grovel at the feet of strangers and get good at something he doesn’t personally find interesting. The only time we see him express a desire for praise is when he’s around Ratchet—someone he holds in high regard for both personal and professional reasons. This makes sense since Ratchet is one of the only people who can give Pharma any kind of competition within what he considers to be his area of expertise.

“Each day we go to our work in the hope of discovering—in the hope that some one, no matter who, may find a solution of one of the pending great problems—and each succeeding day we return to our task with renewed ardor; and even if we are unsuccessful, our work has not been in vain, for in these strivings, in these efforts, we have found hours of untold pleasure, and we have directed our energies to the benefit of mankind.” —Nikola Tesla

Ego

Without question, Pharma has an inflated ego, but having an inflated sense of self doesn’t automatically mean a person is a full-blown narcissist or that they are totally uncaring.

Every personality trait exists on a spectrum. Yes, Pharma is arrogant, but the presence of arrogance doesn’t automatically and completely cancel out all “positive” traits. (For fun, check out studies on Dark Tetrad and Light Triad personality traits.)

People are complex. Arrogance can coexist with genuine kindness, ruthlessness can coexist with deep compassion, etc.

Whether Pharma exhibits genuine kindness is up to each reader’s interpretation of what little canon material exists, but the point is: Pharma’s arrogance doesn’t automatically rule out the possibility of authentic “positive” traits.

Controlling Tendencies

Pharma is comfortable pulling the power card and using it to dump what he sees as uninteresting parts of medical practice on those below him:

“So Fisitron’s writing about the Wreckers’ elbows now, is he?” said Delphi’s Chief Medical Officer. “Come on, First Aid - get to it. You’ve got a Fader in Row 2 downstairs.” He squeezed the air with his finger and thumb. “He’s about this far from shutdown.” —from Bullets by James Roberts

However, there’s nothing in canon indicating he’s power-hungry in a megalomaniacal sense. He’s not Starscream or Megatron; he doesn’t seek political or social power. In fact, he seems perfectly happy hiding away in a lab or medibay by himself so he can direct all his energy toward solving issues and achieving the so-called ‘impossible’ within the field of medicine:

The ways in which Pharma exercises power and control are through his expertise, and his administrative/management skills. That’s it.

Self-confidence

Pharma’s arrogance and controlling tendencies don’t seem to be a mask—like he’s trying to compensate for some sense of lack (in those areas). Yes, he fears failure, and yes, he displays some insecurity when Ratchet questions his competence. But at every other point and in every other way, Pharma is unapologetically self-confident. He’s fully self-assured of his intellectual prowess and problem-solving capabilities; he knows what he knows, and he also knows what he doesn’t know.

Pharma’s arrogance and desire for control don’t stem from a hidden lack of confidence or a hunger for power on its own. They stem from the fact that he genuinely sees himself as the best person for the work he does. He trusts himself above anyone else to solve problems that come his way—medical or otherwise (within limits).

Elitism vs. Superiority

I’ve always read Pharma as having an elitist attitude, but not in the social stratification sense:

elitist (adj.) relating to or supporting the view that a society or system should be led by an elite.

There’s no evidence that Pharma believes an elite class of people should hold the most power. Instead, Pharma’s “elitism” is actually an individualistic sense of superiority. It’s centered on him alone, and is tied to his capabilities as a physician scientist and surgeon.

Pharma sees himself as the best of the best and makes sure everyone knows it—sometimes through his words, but mostly by his conduct in the field of medicine. This, paired with Pharma’s natural temperament, doesn’t exactly make him socially popular—inside or outside of medicine:

One could argue that the “personality” Lockdown is referring to was a result of all Pharma had suffered at Delphi and Luna 1, but just as easily, one could argue he was always a bit difficult to get along with, and that his traumatic experiences merely magnified his already-present psychological patterns. Personally, I like the latter interpretation because it’s a flaw that makes Pharma a more interesting character no matter his mental state.

Everyone reacts differently to real and perceived social rejection. Some are so concerned about it that they’ll try anything to belong; others genuinely don’t care, and they continue as usual; and still others cope by shifting their mindset and developing a sense of pride in being an outsider.

There’s no evidence for this in canon, but I believe it’s within reasonable characterization boundaries to headcanon Pharma as being in the second or third category.

With either of those two mindsets, a sense of superiority can develop, or even be an inciting factor. Either someone sees themselves as genuinely superior to the majority and doesn’t mind when this alienates them from people, or they convince themselves they’re superior because the pain of accepting they were rejected for who they are is too much to handle.

Whatever the case, the point is, having an “elitist” attitude isn’t necessarily rooted in a sociological or ideological belief. Sometimes, individuals just see something in themselves that—to them—justifies a sense of personal superiority. A quick glance at Pharma’s canon appearances makes it clear he holds such a view of himself, at least to some degree.

Morality and Compassion

When Pharma first shows up in canon, he’s working at the New Institute. A lot of questionable things took place there on a regular basis—things Pharma would have been aware of, to some degree. However, his presence at the Institute doesn’t automatically mean he agreed with everything happening. Depending on how strongly someone feels about something, some people are content to disagree in silence. Not everyone who seeks employment considers it a priority that the establishment they work for aligns perfectly with their moral values. After all, there are other reasons to take a job: financial benefits, exclusive educational and career opportunities, pure convenience, etc.

I’m not here to say either way whether Pharma’s willingness to turn a blind eye to the events at the New Institute was wrong or right; that’s up to each reader to decide for themselves. However, Pharma’s choice to remain employed at the Institute for some time can say something about him as a character: his priority as a doctor and person is not to take care of everyone he encounters, or to act as some kind of moral or ethical authority.

This isn’t to say Pharma won’t ever stand up for something he regards as right or push back against something he sees as wrong, “off screen.” It’s just that everything in canon points more to a tendency to choose his battles instead of acting immediately on any moral sense the way someone like Optimus or Ratchet might.

This also isn’t to say Pharma doesn’t care about saving lives, but from what little is shown of him before Delphi, it’s hard to say how much he cared. Ratchet confirms later that Pharma was an excellent doctor for most of his life, but all that tells us is he was an excellent doctor; it says nothing about his internal attitude toward his work or patients.

However, inferences can be made based on doctors in our own world:

Being a doctor—especially one in trauma care—is far from easy. It takes a lot out of a person, and there are very few people who last in the profession for a long time. Most medical professionals fall into one of the following categories:

People possessing a strong will that’s coupled with an unwavering passion for taking care of others (the public’s favorite)

People who naturally have, or develop, an ability to switch their empathy off and on at will, or build walls around it—also possessing a strong will (the ideal)

People who naturally have a limited capacity for empathy (the one the public hates to acknowledge)

People with a strong social and professional support system (the necessary, but underutilized and underappreciated factor)

Of course, even if a person has one or more of the above, burnout can and does still happen, but individuals who have at least one have the best chances of surviving and thriving amidst the demands of the majority of medical professions.

As far as is shown in canon, Pharma never had a strong support system—either circumstantially or by choice—so something else was keeping him in medicine.

Pharma shows concern for both Tumbler (Chromedome) and Hubcap:

But even though he obviously cared enough to step in, neither instance makes a strong case for a capacity for empathy beyond the “average” or “norm.” Performing a job well is a lot different from being personally invested in the work.

Based on everything up to this point, and this later comment from Pharma, about Ratchet…

…Pharma has probably never shared the same I-care-about-everything-and-everyone view of the world. Instead, it’s more likely that Pharma holds a more rational view of his work and patients.

One of the first things learned in medicine, especially in trauma medicine, is that you can’t help or save everyone, and to hold yourself to that standard can destroy you quickly if you have a certain temperament or lack healthy boundaries for your empathy.

“There are times when it may seem as though I view sick or injured people not as living, breathing humans with feelings and emotions and people who love them, but simply as cases, as problems to be solved. And that is absolutely true. It's not that I don't have empathy, but the hard fact is that as a doctor, and especially as a trauma surgeon, too much empathy can get in the way of your job and cause you to make decisions based not on sound medical judgment but on your own emotions. Sure, I've seen things that even years later can still make me choke up when I think of them: a little girl shot and killed, a shattered young Marine who shouldn't have died but did. But you can't choke up in the ER or the operating room. To be effective as a trauma surgeon, you have to put a layer of Kevlar around your heart.” —Dr. Peter Rhee, Trauma Red: The Making of a Surgeon in War and in America’s Cities*

Pharma may have learned this difficult truth earlier than Ratchet and developed a practical way of managing his empathy that comes across as “cold.” He may have always had an ability to put up walls around his spark. Or, he may have always had little to no capacity for empathy.

The fact that the morality lock on Tyrest’s portal prevented Pharma from passing through proves he felt guilty for what he’d done, and JRO confirmed this. Therefore, it’s safe to assume Pharma had some level of empathy for his former patients, suffering moral injury when he felt he had no other option but to start killing them.

Still, looking at Pharma’s psychological drives and his behavior throughout canon, it’s clear compassionate care and morality are subordinate to his other values and interests.

*I highly recommend this book, and learning about Dr. Rhee in general. He’s a huge inspiration of mine, and one of my main sources of inspiration when writing Pharma. Level-headed and capable, strong-willed, selectively empathetic, an excellent scientist, etc. He lives for the thrill of practicing medicine both on the floor and as an expert in his field who pushes trauma medicine to new heights through his research. He also takes great pride in his hands. Seriously—the man spent an entire paragraph and a half talking about his “good hands” and how they were one of two reasons he decided to go into trauma surgery. The other reason was that he “liked action and excitement, liked the feeling of being able to walk into a tough situation and take control.” (Sounds familiar…)

Delphi

First thing’s first: we don’t know how much Pharma did or didn’t know about the DJD before agreeing to take the Delphi assignment.

That far into the war, he would have known something about the DJD and their ways of terrorizing traitors and Autobots, but for whatever reason, he took the assignment anyway. Perhaps Prowl assured him the situation on Messatine would be monitored and that the security team would be enough. Perhaps he underestimated the DJD’s capabilities, or scale of territory, and thought he would be able to handle things on his own. Perhaps Prowl gave him no choice. Maybe it was all of these and more.

Whatever the case, according to JRO, Pharma didn’t hate Delphi before the incident with the DJD.

Word of god remains a touchy subject in fandom, but in this case, it’s important because it says two things:

The DJD left the Delphi medical team alone for some time.

Being on the edges of DJD territory didn’t automatically mean isolation and harassment by their hand.

On the second point, First Aid was free to come and go from Messatine as he pleased, seeing as he attended a medical conference at Kimia five years into his assignment at Delphi:

Five years ago [mid-Delphi assignment], the leader of the Wreckers had cornered him at a medical conference at Kimia, the space station that doubled as a weapons research facility. —from Bullets

And five years after that, he was able to not only contact Springer without delay about one of Agent 113’s bullets he’d discovered in an Autobot badge…

He raced upstairs to his computer terminal and typed in a certain frequency code for the second time in his life. A face appeared on the screen and grinned. “It’s me,” said First Aid. “And you're never gonna guess what I’ve got for you..!”

…but he was also able to meet up with Springer to hand off the bullet:

“Your friend has a funny way of making contact,” First Aid had said when he’d got in touch three days earlier, and he was right.

It’s not known if this handoff happened on or off world, but either way, the DJD didn’t interfere.

At some point, Tarn set his sights on Pharma and the Delphi team. Knowing the DJD, one can only imagine what Tarn used to show off his team’s capabilities and convince Pharma the best option was to cooperate.

In striking a deal with Tarn to keep the DJD away from Delphi, Pharma established his territory and ensured his continued security and the safety of his staff. As long as Tarn got his T-cogs, Pharma could continue on in relative peace. He could work his magic on bots that ended up at Delphi, carry out his management duties, and work on whatever projects or research he may have been conducting in his free time.

For whatever reason, after he first came into contact with Tarn, Pharma didn’t call for help. Communications were still operational, as Pharma wouldn’t have suggested contacting High Command about the Duobots if the team was aware of any comm malfunctions:

Also, First Aid later confirms that communications were fine until the Big Bang (soundbomb detonation):

It’s always possible the DJD was monitoring the radio waves, but secure subspace frequencies exist, such as the Datalog Network First Aid used to send the datalog containing the death statistics:

Speaking of which, assuming First Aid sent the datalog with the statistics right when things started to get ‘weird,’ and before the Big Bang shut down comms, it only took—at most—a few days for them to reach Ratchet and Swerve on the Lost Light:

But back to Pharma not calling for help: for all of Prowl’s intel, contingency planning, and fretting over the security of Autobot territories, I find it hard to believe he would have stuck an Autobot medical team on the fringes of DJD territory without giving them some means of securely contacting the outside in case of issues.

But even if Prowl didn’t give Pharma a secure way to contact him or anyone else, and even if Pharma was convinced the DJD was monitoring regular communications, there were other ways he could have reached out for help. After all, the team wasn’t alone on Messatine. Like Pharma said, Prowl continued to send bots to defend the nucleon mines:

The Autobots had been mining nucleon for millions of years at this point, so I doubt the mined nucleon was just sitting in storage on Messatine; shipments of the stuff would have been sent off-world to wherever the Autobots needed it. Why not send a message for Prowl with someone leaving with one of those shipments? A message meant only to be sent over a call when absolutely certain they were out of range of the DJD’s potential monitoring.

Or, why not order in off-world medical supplies and send a message back with the delivery bot(s)?

There are two possible answers to this. One takes into account JRO’s word on the subject; the other is more intricate and speculative on my part, but it leads to the same place. So whatever your stance is on the validity of word of god, there’s an answer for you.

Answer one (word of god)

Simple as that. Pharma was aware of the scope of the DJD’s capabilities and relentlessness, and determined he was trapped prey.

Answer two (no word of god)

There are a few possible reasons Pharma didn’t call for help right away:

He was convinced all his other options would take too long and/or would still lead to him being put under suspicion. After all, being found to have harvested even a single T-cog from an already-dead patient for the DJD could have raised concerns that would lead to Pharma being investigated and/or having a mark put on his record.

He underestimated the severity of Tarn’s addiction, and was certain he could keep up with the T-cog demand without resorting to other means of harvesting, not realizing Tarn’s quota would increase later on.

He was already paranoid as a result of whatever mind games Tarn had set in motion at their first meeting, making Pharma think escape was futile.

Word of god or no word of god, there are clear reasons as to why Pharma ended up trapped. Most likely, it was a mix of all of the above.

Whatever was going on in Pharma’s mind before, he ended up in deeper trouble. Tarn increased his demand for T-cogs, and Pharma couldn’t keep up. By the time this happened, even if he had wanted to call for help, it was too late to do so without implicating himself. He reasoned his only option was to start killing patients to harvest their T-cogs.

Soon, Pharma was so consumed with fretting over whether he’d be able to meet Tarn’s next demand that he didn’t have time or freedom to do anything else except worry and feel guilty. His whole life revolved around Tarn’s addiction; he was no longer in control, and could no longer enjoy whatever it was about Delphi he’d previously enjoyed. Perhaps the facility itself enabled Pharma to research cures and perform scientific miracles of medicine.

Being at the mercy of Tarn—convinced the DJD would find him no matter what—would have been pure psychological torture on its own, but also knowing that any small chance he did have of getting help would end in him losing everything would have added to his suffering. Pharma became desperate to reclaim control over his life and began planning an escape.

Now, JRO has said that Pharma didn’t originally plan to use the rust plague on the DJD…but canon says otherwise:

Of course, Pharma could have been lying to make himself look better in Ratchet’s view, but based on everything he’d been through up to this point with Tarn, it’s more likely he was telling the truth and had tried to eliminate the source of his suffering first. After all, wiping out the DJD would have been the simpler, cleaner option.

When the Duobots refused to detonate the soundbomb near the DJD, Pharma’s objectives shifted. He had to get Delphi shut down in a way that would:

Convince the DJD the shutdown was legitimate.

Pharma knew chances of escaping the DJD at all were slim to none, but he was desperate. Getting Delphi shut down would cut off Tarn’s supply of T-cogs and allow Pharma to escape Tarn’s immediate control, but the shutdown had to be “legitimate” to prevent Tarn from retaliating and hunting him down later. Leaving Tarn even the slightest chance of regaining control was too risky, so Pharma had to make sure his plan was as airtight as possible.

Cover up the patient murders.

If the truth got out about Pharma killing patients, he’d lose his medical license and most likely be put away for life. Being cut off from the practice of medicine and his intellectually stimulating work as a doctor would mean losing more than a job and a reputation. It would mean losing everything in which he’d anchored his sense of identity and life’s meaning. His refusal to consider any other options wasn’t just about ego and preserving his image as an excellent doctor; it was about preserving any kind of meaningful future he saw for himself.

Pharma needed a plan that would fulfill all of the above. Turning the engineered virus on the medical facility was the most effective and efficient solution. Anything else would have made him suspicious in the view of either Autobot High Command or the DJD, and neither of those would have ended well for him.

Because of his goal to preserve his reputation and future in medicine, he couldn’t even risk revealing anything to First Aid or Ambulon, who would have seen to his ruin. They became nothing more than loose ends that had to be tied up, and based on the fact that Pharma only prepared one vial of the vaccine, his original plan involved him being the only survivor:

He probably would have had no problem making more of the vaccine for anyone else who survived, but he wasn’t counting on it. He wanted a totally clean slate; in letting his staff die with most of his patients, he would be getting rid of any and all evidence and reminders of his failures. He may have cared about First Aid and Ambulon before things got bad, but somewhere along the way, he decided either it wasn’t worth it to go through the trouble of finding a way to save them without raising suspicion, or he didn’t want to risk them putting together the pieces later on.

Of course, when Ratchet showed up, plans changed.

Ratchet

Ratchet is not the kind of person who seeks first to understand or be understanding. He’s inclined to trust what’s in front of him over anything abstract, and tends to look at the results of someone’s actions over trying to find any kind of ‘why’ behind them. Also, unlike Pharma, he operates from a strong moral sense, and reacts quickly and strongly when something or someone goes against that internal moral sense.

Ratchet’s reaction to finding out what Pharma did may seem hasty and harsh, but it makes perfect sense on a human level. There is no such thing as unconditional love; everyone has personal and moral lines (boundaries), and they’re different for each individual. When the most rigid of lines is crossed, that’s it; walls go up and the offender is cut off, no matter how strong the relationship may have been.

Ratchet obviously knew Pharma well enough to think he could try talking some sense into him, but then Pharma revealed that he’d crossed one of Ratchet’s lines: murdering patients. Any willingness Ratchet may have had to try to understand vanished. By the time Pharma started trying to provide a ‘why’ for his actions, Ratchet’s moral judgment had already shut down any chance of understanding what could have possibly led Pharma to kill patients. It didn’t help that Pharma seemed totally unapologetic and outright proud of his plan. For Ratchet, the ‘why’ didn’t matter anymore. What he saw was what he trusted, and what he saw was a friend who’d become his idea of a monster.

Now, Ratchet and Pharma’s relationship is one of the most confusing IDW relationships I’ve had the pleasure and pain of dissecting.

It is notoriously difficult to determine the depth and strength of a relationship from the outside. However, I’ve decided to go ahead and address it anyway because it has the potential to provide insight into Pharma as an individual.

If I were to sum up Pharma and Ratchet’s relationship in a single word, I would use “ambivalent.” The first time I read MTMTE, the thing that stood out to me most about their relationship was the drastic differences between how they each perceived the relationship.

In one sense, there’s the idea of Pharma basically being Ratchet’s crazy stalker ex, which is tossed around in fandom a lot. While I personally dislike seeing it regardless of context (yes, even as a joke), I do see how JRO’s writing choices set things up in a way that makes it easy to superimpose that trope.

In another sense, there’s the idea that Pharma and Ratchet were always close friends, and that what happened at the end of the Delphi story was a betrayal of both sides that came out of nowhere and whose consequences were taken too far.

I disagree with both. Personally, what I see at the end of the Delphi story isn’t an obsessed ex gone mad, a sudden betrayal, or a badly executed backstabbing. What I see is a breakdown of an already-complicated and poorly-maintained relationship: true feelings being revealed, long-repressed bitterness being forced to the surface, carefully-hidden cracks being split wide open.

Most people don’t have an accurate understanding of how much or how little they truly know the people in their lives, often overestimating how well they know a person until something surfaces and blindsides them.

According to JRO, Ratchet was oblivious to Pharma’s romantic interest, and throughout canon, it’s easy to see Pharma was more invested in the relationship than Ratchet ever was.

The question is, did Ratchet ever care about Pharma at all? And if so, to what degree?

Yes, Ratchet calls Pharma “buddy” and “friend,” but the former was sarcastic, and the latter means something different to each person. Also, in light of the circumstances, Ratchet could have just been saying “friend” in response to Pharma saying it—an emotional appeal more than anything.

However, Pharma must have been aware of Ratchet’s lack of relational investment because during the confrontation at Delphi, Pharma’s first reaction wasn’t to appeal to their friendship (ex: “But you know me!”). Instead, he appealed to their shared profession:

Then there’s the exchange of insults:

This is what I meant earlier by “true feelings being revealed.” Ratchet may have just been trying to match Pharma’s insult, but it’s unlikely it was merely reciprocal because while Ratchet is snarky at times, he’s sincere in that snark. There’s almost always some truth in his verbal jabs no matter how unserious they seem, and he’s never cruel for cruelty’s sake.

So, if Pharma saw Ratchet as an inferior doctor, and Ratchet saw Pharma as an inferior Autobot…it’s reasonable to assume there was always some deep-rooted competition and conflict preventing them from being super close.

Possible suspicion surrounding Pharma’s conduct as an Autobot paired with a tendency to misjudge the nuances of relationships could explain why Ratchet was so quick to decide Pharma was a lost cause. Maybe Pharma’s actions at Delphi confirmed something from the past that Ratchet had brushed off for whatever reason.

In any case, Ratchet seems to have been largely unaffected by the Pharma he found at Delphi. While leaving Messatine, he emphasizes that he’ll miss Pharma’s talent.

Not “who he used to be.”

Not “what we used to have.”

Just…“his talent.”

Later, on Luna 1, Pharma mentions that he and Ratchet were inseparable, but that could mean a few different things:

Best case scenario: Pharma and Ratchet sought each other out on equal terms.

Worst case scenario: Pharma followed Ratchet around.

Somewhere in the middle: the job forced Pharma and Ratchet to work in close proximity most of the time, and while Pharma intentionally ran into Ratchet more often than necessary, Ratchet also sought out Pharma every now and then.

Whatever the case, working with someone every day doesn’t tell you anything about who they are as a person, and the amount of time spent with someone doesn’t automatically correlate to how deep the relationship is or how well the people know each other. It’s not like either Pharma or Ratchet are shown to be good at expressing their personal feelings outside of extreme circumstances.

Ratchet does bring up late-night conversations of the past:

But while this indicates there was something deeper between him and Pharma, because neither of them were ever shown to be super open with their true feelings, it’s unlikely the conversations were full of touchy-feely talk. In all likelihood, the conversations were mostly medicine and war-related, with the rare spark-to-spark talk sprinkled in. Also, considering everything up to this point, one has to wonder if those talks ever meant anything to Ratchet, or if he was just digging for something that might stall Pharma’s torture.

Maybe those late-night conversations did mean something to Ratchet, but whatever the case, Pharma didn’t take the bait. He knew Ratchet was trying to stall by making an emotional appeal, and perhaps he was convinced the conversations hadn’t meant that much to Ratchet.

Looking at all of this, it’s hard to believe Ratchet ever cared about Pharma as more than an interesting work friend. But even if he had cared more than he let on, it wasn’t enough to overcome the doubts he had about Pharma’s character.

As for whether Pharma truly cared about Ratchet, I’m convinced he did, but in a mostly unhealthy way, and with a strong undercurrent of one-sided rivalry. At some point, Ratchet had been an equal and a source of challenge, and he probably listened to Pharma pretty often. It’s reasonable to assume Ratchet was one of the only people—if not the only person—able to handle Pharma’s intense temperament and challenge him in a meaningful way, providing some semblance of friendship for Pharma.

However, one last thing that stands out is that, when telling Ratchet why he’s torturing him, Pharma didn’t say anything like, “Because you hurt me” or “Because you turned against me—your friend.” Instead, he said it was for “ruining things at Delphi” and because “you declared war on my body.”

Either Pharma wasn’t being entirely honest, or Ratchet’s friendship didn’t mean as much in the first place as he’d previously implied. It’s possible the ‘Because you hurt me’ was implied in “for ruining things back at Delphi,” but why not say it outright? Perhaps it was a fear of vulnerability and admitting there was ever a relational need at all.

At the end of the day, it’s difficult to say for certain how close Pharma and Ratchet were, but it’s clear they were never on the same page and there were always barriers between them.

Luna 1

Revisiting the matter of Pharma’s morality taking a backseat to other priorities, his time on Luna 1 further underscores this. Again, Pharma chooses his battles and is unwilling to put himself at great risk for the sake of others, but a closer look at the situation with Tyrest reveals there wasn’t really anything he could have done for the Cold Construct population even if he had wanted to. It would have been him against Tyrest, an army of Legislators, and a bunch of Decepticons. Pharma knew his limits, and seeing as his goal was self-preservation, it was perfectly rational for him to go along with Tyrest’s grand scheme.

Besides, it doesn’t look like he was given much of a choice:

Although, knowing Pharma, he still would have demanded to know beforehand what he would get in return for the pain, and evidently, Tyrest held up his end of the deal since Pharma had access to the Luna 1 tech collection.

As for Tyrest’s plan to wipe out the Cold Construct population, there’s nothing indicating Pharma’s decision to turn a blind eye to it was rooted in malevolence or bigotry—just rational apathy: ‘I can’t stop Tyrest, so why concern myself with the outcome?’

Again, you can’t save everyone; Pharma had all he could do to save himself.

But it wasn’t all horrible. I would even go so far as to say Pharma found some happiness on Luna 1. Tyrest didn’t care about him, but he didn’t need Tyrest to care. Everyone else there hated him, but he didn’t need to feel like he belonged or was admired. At this point, Pharma’s only interest was Tyrest’s Luna 1 tech collection, and that meant playing nice so he could keep his reward. Back at Delphi, he probably assumed he’d never again practice medicine the way he’d loved; being brought to Luna 1 was an unexpected, yet welcome, second chance.

Even so, Pharma had his moments of cruelty. Back at Delphi, he had easily-identifiable reasons to kill patients—both the ones whose T-cogs he harvested and the 20 more he tried to kill when he shot the life support machine. But on Luna 1, he had no reason to be cruel, yet he chose to be. By this point, he’d mastered the ability to almost completely ignore or subdue his conscience.

In the case of Ratchet’s torment, one could argue Pharma only drew it out for retaliation purposes; it was personal for him.

As for cutting Ambulon in half, it was obviously meant to be as gruesome as possible, yet also quick. But personally, I don’t think it was about Ambulon; it was more about hurting Ratchet. Due to the fact that Ratchet’s identity is wrapped up in his compassion and his ability to be helpful as a doctor, one of the most effective acts of revenge would be to do something that makes him feel utterly helpless.

Also I wonder if, subconsciously or consciously, Pharma was attempting to recreate the sense of helplessness he felt back at Delphi under Tarn’s watch: “Do you see, Ratchet? Do you now understand how it feels to have control ripped out of your hands? To be totally helpless?”

Next, for some reason, Pharma was invested in the promised execution of Getaway and Skids:

He had no personal connection to either of them that would give him a reason to be interested, so maybe Tyrest told him he could perform the execution and/or have the corpses for medical experimentation. Either way, Pharma would have had a chance to use some of the tech in Tyrest’s tech collection, possibly explaining his excitement.

Of course, any chance of an execution disappeared when the final showdown went wrong.

When Pharma tried to escape to Cyberutopia and discovered he couldn’t pass through the spacebridge forcefield, he gave up. He’d been caught; he would no longer have access to Tyrest’s tech collection; Ratchet and every other self-righteous Autobot would never forgive him; and the morality lock prevented him from escaping. By all appearances, he would never again be able to engage in that which gave him a sense of meaning. He had shrunken his world down to his obsessive interest in a specialized field and one significant, yet unrequited relationship. With both of these lost, his world collapsed.

Yes, guilt played a part in Pharma’s despondency, but because he seems to have been in denial of said guilt, it’s more likely his despair was primarily due to the fact that he saw no future for himself. He had nothing left to live for.

In light of this, Pharma’s flippant comments to First Aid make sense. He wasn’t being insensitive as much as he was goading First Aid. Pharma’s not stupid. First Aid had a massive rotary cannon on him, and Pharma knew exactly which emotional buttons to push to get him to pull the trigger.

Pharma wanted to die.

Adaptus

First, let me emphasize that Adaptus did not take possession of Pharma’s body. Instead, Pharma was the unwelcome guest:

How Pharma ended up in Adaptus’ new body is a mystery, but whatever the case, Pharma didn’t pass on to the Allspark. Whether or not he had a choice can only be speculated.

First Aid had blasted Pharma’s head clean off, so whatever happened must have been related to the spark. Perhaps some residual spark energy was trapped in a body part that Adaptus repurposed, leaving Pharma tethered to the new body unwillingly.

Still, Pharma managed to assert his will and override Adaptus for a brief moment. Considering Adaptus was basically a god, this is impressive.

Based on Adaptus’ surprise at being interrupted, it seems he didn’t know Pharma was there. Why Pharma hadn’t tried to assert himself sooner is a mystery. Maybe Adaptus’ scheme was entertaining; maybe Pharma actually liked the company; or maybe he’d been waiting for an opportunity to get revenge on Tyrest for everything done to him back at Luna 1.

Sure enough, just like with Ratchet back on Luna 1, Pharma’s vengeful streak came out as soon as there was an opportunity.

Unfortunately for him, this left him vulnerable, and Tyrest took advantage of the confusion:

Conclusion

When someone reduces their world to narrow personal interests and one or a few very special people, their grip tightens around what little they have. They often become obsessive and possessive of the few things that make them feel alive, and their view of the world becomes increasingly more subjective and detached from the outside world. Pharma seems to have fallen into this trap.

Even so, in the context of the circumstances, several of the decisions he made were rational—even if coldly so. Oftentimes, “extreme” rationality and self-preservation are villainized in fiction, and characters like Pharma who don’t automatically put themselves at great risk for anyone and everyone are villainized, or at least looked down on. Their choices are often regarded as less human, but rationality and self-preservation are just as human as compassion and self-sacrifice.

Ultimately, Pharma was trapped and pushed over the edge into “insanity” by Tarn’s cruelty, but his own choices made from a place of pride determined how he fell, and how far he fell. It was a perfect storm of Tarn’s mind games and Pharma’s intellectual arrogance, excessive self-confidence, obsessive nature, and stubborn grip on the kind of future he wanted for himself.

Pharma is yet another Icarus who flew too close to the sun and paid dearly for it, and while JRO/the narrative could have given this Icarus better wings, that doesn’t change the fact that he chose to fly so high.

***

Many thanks to anyone who made it to the end of this monster of a post.

-tosses a Rodimus Star at you-

#look who finally finished this thing #idw transformers #idw1 #maccadam #MTMTE #lost light #idw pharma #pharma #tf idw character analysis #tf idw meta #dr. fancy hands #nova’s nerding out again

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jadeacereigen · 1 year ago

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Why I see Reigen as asexual

This is a very self-indulgent post, but it's his birthday today and I wanted to compile all the things about Reigen that make me see him as a fellow ace.

Please don't take this list too seriously! None of these are This Is Canon signs and some of them are just jokes. Also, it's pretty hard to find evidence of asexuality barring a character explicitly saying "hey i never feel sexual attraction" so bear with ne here.

1. That Scene With Dimple

Yeah, we all know the scene.

"But does love always have to come with sexual desires?" -Reigen Arataka

This is what almost asexual person asks at some point. It's just such an asexual quote. Society often conflates the two things as inherently hand-in-hand, but that's not true for everyone!

2. He never shows attraction to anyone

Now of course, the story is not primarily focused on him, and he's usually with Mob so he probably wouldn't be flirting in front of him. But there aren't even MOMENTS of him showing a smidge of attraction to other people, even when we see his life without Mob's presence. It really stands out in comparison to other goofy mentor figures in manga/anime who are commonly portrayed as hopeless flirts.

3. He's never been in a relationship before

When asked about his past romantic experiences in the official fanbook, he pretends he's had plenty of passionate romances and then describes a scene from Titanic before saying "Marriage is one of the countless types of lifestyles you can choose. It's best if everyone does whatever they want." So basically, despite being 29 years old at the time of the fanbook, he has had no significant romantic experiences and doesn't see himself getting married. (Even if he might be interested, as I'll explain in the next point.)

This is not exclusive to asexuality of course but it's a very common sentiment for ace people imo

4. He doesn't think he can be in a relationship

In Confession Arc, he has no idea how to ask someone out and has to cheat while giving advice to Mob. He also tells Serizawa afterward that if anyone saw him for who he really was, they'd turn him down right away.

But then, at least in the manga, he says that he hopes he can be in a relationship where he and his partner "can exist without distorting each other". So I think he does want to be in a relationship, he's just way too insecure about himself for many, many reasons.

I like to think one of these reasons is because he is asexual. It's a struggle for allo aces to find someone whose sexual preferences are compatible with ours, and yet it remains important to maintain our boundaries (aka not distort ourselves).

5. His anime outfit has ace flag colors

I mean. Gray, white, pink purple...

6. His reaction to a porn virus

Look at the face of this poor asexual man who spent an entire night trying and failing to get rid of a porn virus...

7. He is asexual

He is just asexual hope this helps (:

#jade speaks #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #reigen arataka

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dilfsonic · 6 months ago

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I posted this on Twitter but I’ll do it here too, unpopular opinion time that will get me cooked: Jet the hawk does NOT hate Sonic, and he hasn’t resented him since the beginning of the first Riders game. When it comes to the games, Jet EXPLICITLY respects Sonic and enjoys his rivalry with him by the end of everything, and their dynamic evolved over Zero Gravity into a relationship where they viewed each other as true equals.

Like. This idea that Jet is a petty hater who cant do anything and resents Sonic’s existence is very purely based off the gross mischaracterization in the comics and could not be further from how they interact in the Riders games 😭 I’m sorry, I cannot pretend to enjoy even SLIGHTLY the idea that Jet is a dumbass and a slob who can’t hold his own in a fight and would look down on Sonic for asking for his help during the Metal virus arc, because none of those traits add up from what was already firmly established about him??

Jet already eagerly helped Sonic save the world twice and took part in the fighting, like…he didn’t even question that he would help Sonic. Jet isn’t a coward, nor is he incapable, and acting all coy about saving the planet is just a confusing thing for him to do.

But more importantly than that is his rivalry with Sonic was just, made explicitly clear at the end of ZG. They ENJOY each other’s challenge, and often become blind to other people and issues when it comes to the other. Sonic runs off with him rather frequently actually LMAO. Like…I dunno. I never thought of Jet as like, this petty loser when I was outside of the fandom just based on the games growing up. I always thought he was so cool but never saw anyone talk about or even acknowledge him back in the 2000s. Now people talk about him more, but it feels like the fandom picked 1 fan’s unflattering portrayal of him and played telephone for years and now that portrayal has been picked up by IDW 😬 The thing I will say though is the more recent issues with him have been so much better, FINALLY acknowledging the cool Babylonian lore and the backstory of the Rogues, but it’s taken way too long to address the true nature of the Rogues and I feel like irreparable damage was done to Jet’s character 😭

Anyway yeah I’m being dramatic bc Jet is one of my favorites and my view of him had developed entirely independent of the fandom, so the popular fanon interpretation of him is just…odd to me, a lot of the time.

#don’t take this post too seriously I’m aware that 98% of fans don’t care enough aboht Jet to analyze the riders games the way I do LOL #just my onions #Jet the hawk #sonic the hedgehog #my post

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pendwelling · 1 year ago

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"What are you doing?!?!?!”

F*ck it all, has their android truly been infected by the virus after all?!

— persona. chapter 3 (ao3) by @mishamoonberry

#lout of count's family #백작가의 망나니가 되었다 #lcf #백망되 #my art #Soos DBH AU #DEDICATED TO MISHA FOR WRITING A FIC THAT COMBINES TWO OF SOME OF MY FAV THINGS EVER SOOS + DBH 🫶🫶🫶#THE SOOS #lee soo hyuk #kim rok soo #choi jung soo #현대팀 #trash of the count's family #the amount of emotional devastation this AU causes me.....#istg LSH and CJS are gonna bite their fists one day knowing how they treated KRS #and I'm gonna love EVERY SECOND of it bc the relationship development will be so so so SWEET #YOURE THE BEST MISHA 🫶#lcf fanart

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daily-blog-reunion-of-2024-lore · 6 months ago

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Dailyverse Lore Masterpost

Links under cut (Be warned, it's a long one)

--The Beginning--

The Family Reunion Gone Arwy

Millie Learns of her true Parentage (Wont Wouldnt and Will are her fathers)

Evelo!

Rettel!

Ross Reveal

Daily Blog Family Tree + Will finds out he has tapeworms

Ranch Guy!

Rettel's Pie Emporium

Will and Wont get a divorce

--The Virus Begins--

Spamton G. TRWW being based

Will's Final VHS

7eventh 7ight 7eer

Millie's Call / Something Has Gone Wrong

--The Virus / MBU Burning--

Wont Wouldnt

Spamton G. TRWW glitches out, MBRA Arc

MMMM tries (and fails) to cure Spamton TRWW

Zubin saves Gerard from TRWW

The Proposal

Kendrick disses Wyatt

Lemon Child

The Invitation

???

The Power Outage

Main Burning Thread (Camp & Log)

Burning Side Thead (ICID, Los Camp, AVE)

MBRA Official Statement on the Burning

Apollo's message from AWTY

Unpaid Intern 2012 dies

Camp needs Teeth

Nature attempts to crucify Mod

AWTYD Returns (AWTYD, Los Camp, HPII)

A New Disease I

A New Disease II

A New Disease III

E's Colourblindness

--Mary Bell and its Citizens--

Nature Tapes Late Morning Live E1 - Kendrick Lamar

Los' Wings Pt. 1

Camp Gets Kidnapped Pt. 1

Camp Gets Kidnapped Pt. 2

Nature Tapes Late Morning Live E2 - Mod

E saves Camp

Spirit Phone possesses Spirit Phone Daily

Spirit Phone has possessed Spirit Phone Daily

Nature Tapes Late Morning Live E3 - Cloning

Los' Wings Pt. 2

Camp's Hangover

Unpaid Intern 2012 gets Vacuumed

Ave apologizes for the kidnapping

Nature Tapes Late Morning Live E4 - Saviour

Mod and E acquire new glasses lawfully

Los' Wings Pt. 3

The Jar Thread

Rein's Old Photos Pt. 1

E, Nature, Camp and Mod get HIGH on BROWNIE

NAT get's brought in for questioning

Ave's Problem

Rein's Old Photos Pt. 2

Los moves in with Rein

Nature Tapes Late Morning Live E5 - ModTwo Leary

Nature Tapes Late Morning Live E6 - E

Los' Old Photos

Sketches feeds Rein Pt. 1

Rein's Old Photos Pt. 3

Drake disses Kendrick

Sketches feeds Rein Pt. 2

Sketches Defenses

Denny's Pt. 1

Denny's Pt. 2

Rein and Los get ready for the Picnic

The Picnic

Nature Tapes Late Morning Live E7 - MBCR & Why It Sucks

Grandpa Gerard's Question

Metalfood

Mary Bell Community Radio E1 - Introduction

Mary Bell Community Radio E2 - Sketches & Lucifer

CERTIFIED BOY LOVER

Nature and E visit Camp

Nature Tapes Late Morning Live E8 - Sketches Mary Bell Community Radio E3 - Missing Mary Bell Community Radio E4 - Los Camp Asleep in Wheelchair Rein Dyes his Hair Mary Bell Community Radio E5 - The Theater? Mary Bell Community Radio E6 - Grim Day Mary Bell Community Radio E7 - Elliot Marsha and Elliot Talk Mary Bell Community Radio E8 - On Fire! The Dinner Mary Bell Community Radio - Nature's Hijacking Los & Rein have Coffee Los Burns an Old Photo NC Amputates His Arm [TW: Gore, Violence, S/H, Disease] Mary Bell Community Radio E9 - Tired Rein, Los & AVE prepare for a "bonfire" Mary Bell Community Radio E10 - Flood Rein, Los & AVE: Burning of Rosalind's House The Birth of ModTwo Leary Mary Bell Community Radio E11 - Dr. Arian Baumfield

--Events at the End of Time--

The Penis Incident

#the real ww is not real #masterlist

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peachyfnaf · 4 months ago

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my hope for solar helping and getting nexus free from the virus is high. hope he gets his boyfriend back

REALLL tbh i am still somewhat on my SAMS/LAES break, only really keeping up with EAPS, but i get 80% of what goes down in SAMS/LAES episodes from my friends /pos Screaming at each other in a discord server over how happy we all are that Solar is being written well agdlagajaga

i was very worried upon seeing the title of today's episode that this was gonna be the start of Solar going on his "replacing Nexus with Old Moon arc", and it was a HUGE relief when i was told it was not. (take this w a grain of salt ofc), but from what I've been Told, it was mostly Solar continuing to ask questions about how/why Nexus got to where they are, Solar and Old Moon getting a bit on better terms, and some Solar and Jack bonding. I've also seen a clip of Solar absolutely botching a throw of a cereal box and that laugh was so damn cute man sigsihs

tldr, i agree!! my hope/trust is still tentative, and it will prolly remain that way until we get a solar n nexus interaction and i get to see how they Handle That, but i do have hope again :) i missed you solar, welcome back home, now go get your other half, mechani-twink, go!!1!!

#asks tag #yapping about smtn tag #tsams #the sun and moon show #sams #sun and moon show #solarmoon #solarnexus #solar x moon #solar x nexus #theater's lullaby #solarmoon/solarnexus #solar go get nexus and then kiss em right on their flat feckin foreheadbdigsiwi #. sorry- fivehead <3<3<3

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kingmaxstatic · 4 months ago

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In Defense Of Lanolin, A Post About Perspective, Flaws and Development. (Part 2: Lanolin's Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice.)

Read Part 1 Here!

Like I said, the OG post was so long with JUST me bringing up the specific events I had to, eventually, make a part two. In this part I'm gonna be discussing Lanolin as a character! Moreso why she's probably the way she is currently! I'll also be discussing her role as a character.

Posting this here as well! I'm not saying that people disliking lanolin is bad but I do think the hate is over done!

Lanolin was introduced to us in issue 2 (WOW she was early in) She didn't really have much of a role at the time. She was a background for a while before being being re-introduced with a whole new look and personality during the Urban Warfare arc!

However she does go through more than that! In multiple arcs you can see her in the background. Most note worthy being her outfit change becoming more battle ready more time you see in the metal virus arc!

Her sense in style goes from something you'd wear during the summer time for a nice day out to something you'd wear for battle. I think that says a lot about what she went through. She goes from the jittery little thing to someone more strong.

So let's get this out of the way, Lanolin is traumatized by the badnik raids and probably even more so by the Zombot virus (and EVERYTHING ELSE she was caught up in)

"I never wanted to feel so helpless and unprepared again."

I feel a lot of Lanolin's "bossy" and "brashess" comes this. She acts the way she does because she doesn't want herself feel that way ever again. Trauma changes people, speaking from experience.

Whisper is also an example of this being shown in IDW sonic. She seems much bubblier in the past but now she's quiet and reserved because of the death of her team mates. I also want to add something ELSE to this (not to pull these events out again).

"I didn't want ANYONE to feel that way."

cut to me in a therapist chair. I believe a lot of the causes of Lanolin's biggest blunders does come from a place of not wanting anyone to feel helpless in the way SHE did. It's why she goes to protect the "new scared guy" (and manipulator with years of experience). It's why she reacts with such fear when the track breaks. It's all done out of this desire.

It's her moral code.

Also I think whenever she fails this it sends her into a pit of self loathing and I have the panels to prove this check this out. Take a look at this.

THAT right there is Lanolin's guilt. Can we talk about Lanolin's Guilt? PLEASE sonicblr I've been dying to talk about Lanolin's guilt with you ALL DAY okay?/ref

Lanolin openly acknowledging that she's afraid of failing others (in the sense of making people unsafe) in Urban Warfare (I feel at least) is a small but important key to understanding Lanolin's mindset. Lanolin feels GUILT every time she's done something to hurt others. It's why her eyes go so ghost wide when the track breaks.

Because she's put people in danger.

NOW I think Lanolin's biggest flaw is that she's not only blunt but I think she forgets that she can ALSO put people in danger (on accident, of course). When she realizes it I think it mentally comes crashing down for her. Girl DOES NOT handle failure well.

(screenshot added because it's cool, her powers are cool)

Lanolin's role in the comic is pretty clear as day, at least to me. She's the straight man! (Well probably not straight and not a man) Basically a straight man in media is someone who takes things seriously. It's their job to point out the utter bonkers stuff going around them and go "what?????"

Which is one of the first things we see her do in the first scenes she's in! I personally love how much her personality clashes with the others, adds some nice chemistry to the mix!

Characters that are typically characterized as "serious" will ALWAYS clash with the goof balls. It's the charm of the dynamic.

I don't know why people hate her so much, genuinely. She shares a lot of character traits with some fan favorites! I do think there might be a uh... bigger reason as to why people hate her.

"Max. What the hell are you talking about?"

Haha. Well. There's two characters I want to discuss for this that do share traits with her and are fan favorites. Other than characteristics.. there is one key difference I want to discuss between Lanolin and these two characters. And this is the hard part where despite the meme I talk about more difficult subject matter.

"What's the main difference between lanolin and these fan favorites?"

ah! Well uh.

Their Genders.

(and well alliance for Starline shurgs very loudly)

Yeah this is unfortunately discuss fandom sexism. It's not lost on me that people absolutely ADORE Shadow and Starline. Characters that are often ones to resort to whatever tactics they deem necessary to achieve their end goals. These tactics can include violence. Hell we know Starline is down right PETRIFIED of failure (issue 50). Shadow is also known for taking charge on things and boldy assuming stuff (SA2). Hell he even assumes himself to be an android at one point.

These are both characters that share a LOT character wise with Lanolin. I know for a FACT if Shadow was the one who kicked Silver out of team dark he'd still be loved. If Starline was in Lanolin's place you'd have people going "Oh guys hear me out owo,,". You know it's bad when I've seen more genuine hate and vile spread about the traumatized teenager than the grown man who canonically helped caused a zombie outbreak (and so much more!!!). I'm saying this and Starline is my favorite Idw character! Keep that in mind while reading all of this!

People would've adored Lanolin if she was a guy. I'm betting it RIGHT now. She wouldn't be "bitchy" she'd be "determined and strong". She wouldn't of "gotten what she deserved" there would've been posts about how it "wasn't his fault <:[[[[".

Why do I say this? Because I've seen this happen in fandom.

Again

And Again

And AGAIN.

HELL Even to the extent that people have called Mabel Pines, A 12 YEAR OLD. A Manipulator. Princess Bubble gum wasn't being nice to Finn she was "leading him on". Rose Quartz wasn't a morally gray figure she was "a reckless person".

Lanolin isn't "just doing her job and making a mistake" she's "being a bitch and getting what she deserved".

I'm gonna keep it real with you guys, I was considering deleting this last part of the post but I genuinely think it needs to be said, Lanolin's hate feels SO deeply rooted in sexism. Espically with all the talk of her "getting what she deserved". I'm so stuck on that because it feels so... gross. Saying you want her cooked. Saying you want her dead. Feels so gross. She's a teenager, most likely. Even then she openly acknowledges she's inexperienced.

She's learning, let her learn. Like everyone is letting Surge learn.

Am I saying everyone who hates Lanolin is a sexist? No. Am I saying that Lanolin would've been given more slack if she was a man? Abso-fucking-lutely.

WHOA that got super serious real quick haha! Well!!!! That's the post! Sorry guys I tried to keep this one light hearted but I genuinely felt like I had to get that last part off of my chest. I really hope the next "character deep dive" I make is more light hearted. Thank you for reading!

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic idw #sonic idw spoilers #lanolin the sheep #whisper the wolf #tangle the lemur #Shadow the hedgehog #The Diamond Cutters

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emypony · 4 months ago

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I'm so normal about them

YOU SEE MY VISION, YES...?

Nekoleda or... Kolemata, whichever you want

THEY ARE THE SCRUNGLES OF ZZZ

i claim my proverbial first stake on this ship i been here since day 1 (i was just too busy being mentally unwell about it in my server)

Took over my brain like some kind of virus (im never drawing Koleda again after the in-game model lmao i need to reference her CGs instead) maybe ill come back to this and re-do it when im not using my mouse ��

Pleaseee scrunkle them with meee

Koleda appeared at the end of Nekomata's arc they technically have been like 100m of each other THEY BREATHED THE SAME AIR (sanest shipper copium right here everyone.)

And Belobog Industries had to talk with the Nicole for a commission and Nekomata's with Nicole / the hares now SO HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING---- THEY COULD HAVE MET AND TALKED

✨manifesting✨

#zzz #zenless zone zero #nekoleda #is my preferred ship name tbh #its cute haha #i need them to meet i need them to hold hands GRRRRRRRRRRRRR #im so normal about them and you get to hear it too #me branching out of my hi3 enclosure to preach the gospel about my ship #and then an entirely new ecosystem of people has to go “what the fuck?”#heheee #nekomiya mana #nekomata #koleda belobog #koleda zzz

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physalian · 2 months ago

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On Writing a Compelling Fetch Quest, as told by TFP

Save for a single recap episode, season two of Transformers Prime is one long high-octane fetch quest, gunning for weapons and tools and eventually the keys to restoring Cybertron.

See this post where I’ve already gushed about this show but I just rewatched season 2 and it does absolutely everything right when so much of the tension could just come from the macguffin of the week.

Full Spoilers Ahead.

—

Season 2 begins with an amnesiac Optimus convinced he’s still best buds with “Megatronus” and that he’s still Orion Pax, factory reset to before he became a Prime with no knowledge of the war or Autobots or Decepticons. In this version of the lore, he was an archivist, the skills of which come into great use as he can decode ancient encryptions that Megatron’s had sitting locked in a vault and unable to crack for, seemingly, eons—unknowingly helping the enemy murder all his friends.

The information contained in this “Iacon Database” prompts the fetch quest that takes up the entire season. After the three part season debut (6 part if you count the 3 part season 1 finale as one long movie) where Team Prime ventures on their own fetch quest to restore Optimus’s memories, the board is nearly set. But first, a couple other episodes catching up with C-tier villains and bringing in some shiny new characters.

In these episodes, Megatron’s second-in-command, Starscream, who’s been rogue for quite some time, loses his ability to transform after trying to screw over Bumblebee. A “loose cannon” for Team Prime returns not quite as a main character, but more present than his lone episode in season 1, and Starscream’s replacement, Dreadwing, makes his debut. And, the other rogue character, Airachnid, is temporarily disposed of.

The board is now set: Autobots, Decepticons, and Starscream.

We begin at episode 11, where Megatron decides it’s a grand idea to infect his ship with zombie fuel to speed up some repairs, and the ship gains a life of its own, decoding the rest of the Iacon Database that Optimus left sitting behind, a job left to a different ‘Con, Soundwave, who’s no Optimus but doing his best. In that episode, the humans of Team Prime sneak aboard the wayward ship, steal the only four coordinates of the Fetch Quest that are available, and get the heck out of dodge.

Episodes 12-15: Four whole episodes occurring simultaneously, everyone available on both teams, every major player, Starscream included, all racing to these four locations to pick up either mystery weapons or tools of varying mass destruction. Each episode is intercut with dialogue and details from the other units, all coming to a head with the near-death of the Team Prime “Tank,” Bulkhead.

What’s in these four episodes is just a taste of the tension that the rest of the season will take on, kind of like a tournament arc pitting unlikely foes against each other over the MacGuffin of the day. My favorite is Wheeljack (robot cowboy samurai) and Ratchet (grumpy medic) vs Soundwave (aforementioned decrypter replacement who does not speak). The episode is visually gorgeous with a showdown on a cliff at sunset with the most beautiful golden hour for the fight (pictured above).

Every MacGuffin brings a new twist to the fight of their episode, of the four, 1 goes to the Bots, 1 goes to the Cons, 1 goes to Starscream, and 1 gets destroyed.

In the Wheeljack episode, Ratchet comes up with an idea to sneak a virus into Soundwave so they can steal the rest of the Iacon Database from the Cons, which proves a success.

Enter episodes 16-19, where we take a break from the pacing of the fetch quest to bring in another new character, Smokescreen, let Bulkhead heal up, let Wheeljack almost get murdered horrifically by giant bot beetles, and teach a little girl about how revenge does not bring peace. Oh and do away with the C-tier villains, they (almost) all die.

Episodes 20-23 are the last five coordinates for the quest: A fancy new sword to sell toys for Optimus in an absolutely badass episode where he cuts a whole mountain in half, and the 4 literal keys to restoring Cybertron.

The new tension comes from both making sure that Team Prime gets all four keys, and making sure that Megatron does not find out how important they are.

Team Prime gets 1, Megatron gets 1, Team Prime gets another, and then Starscream comes in out of nowhere to steal the 4th, and then sneaks into the base of Team Prime to steal the other 3.

I cannot remember the exact quote but after a yell of absolute anguish and frustration, Optimus collects himself enough to say: “The fate of our world now lies with Starscream, whatever his intention.”

Because, Starscream can’t do shit alone. He just has a very powerful bargaining tool to either buy back the Bots favor, or buy back his place with the Decepticons. Underscoring the importance of who has the keys is this: Whichever side restores Cybertron will have effectively won the war, able to then brand the other side officially as traitors, for a whole new reign of absolute authority. The stakes could not be higher.

Episode 24: The second and far superior flashback episode taking a look exclusively at Starscream’s role throughout the series and all his fabulous shenanigans, as Megatron puts him on trial to decide whether he should just kill his traitorous little SIC.

While these flashbacks are being displayed literally on a screen like they’re connected via HDMI cable, Dreadwing (Starscream’s interim replacement) finds out that not only did Starscream get his twin killed way back in season 1, but then raised his corpse and left the zombie wandering around the fifth dimension, and Megatron knew about it, and lied. (Dreadwing is a fantastic lawful evil character, this post is just ridiculously long already without giving everybody bios)

The episode ends with Dreadwing betraying his whole side to give Team Prime intel, and a magical MacGuffin hammer (that they initially lost in the earlier stages of the Fetch Quest) to level out the playing field, he then goes back to his team and monologues a bit too long before trying to kill Starscream himself (as Megatron still won’t) and gets murdered for his efforts, when he was absolutely right.

At this point, Starscream is back with the Decepticons, they have all they keys (but not yet the knowledge of how they work or where they go to), and they believe that they have a free shot to fly back to Cybertron as the Autobots don’t have any way to get there themselves.

Enter the finale: Episodes 25 and 26. We’re almost there.

The magic MacGuffin hammer Dreadwing gave the Bots can fix or craft almost anything (with limited uses) and they use it to make their wormhole portal into a much beefier version—a space bridge—to portal themselves to Cybertron with every single weapon they’ve collected over the course of the Fetch Quest in their arsenal.

This is a mission they’ll either win, or die trying, they have to steal back the keys and reach the lock before Megatron does, and Megatron just figured out where the lock is.

The Bots manage to do it all, get the keys, take out hoards of faceless minions in their way, they’re a the lock, all they have to do is turn it on.

When out of seemingly nowhere, Megatron executes his backup plan: The whole season, he’s had Soundwave quietly scoping out the Bots’ secret base, and the homes of their human allies. Due to a grave mistake on Ratchet’s part, those humans are not protected at the worst time possible, and they get kidnapped.

Megatron delivers an ultimatum: Cybertron, or three human children?

Rather controversially, Optimus chooses the children, but destroys the lock so Cybertron can’t be revived by either side.

Episode 26 then ends with the reveal that Megatron discovered the location of their base, and as they all scramble to different corners of the earth, Megatron nukes it, and Optimus with it.

—

What I think TFP does really well with the MacGuffins is that, by and large, they themselves are never the point of their episodes. The writers knew audiences wouldn’t be sated with just the objects themselves carrying the story, which is what every fetch quest story should be:

The MacGuffin itself does not mean shit to the audience, 9 times out of 10. It could be swapped out for something else and largely not impact its purpose in the story. What matters is what it means to everyone who wants it, and what they’re willing to do to get it.

In TFP's case, these MacGuffins cannot be replaced. Several show up more than once to give unique advantages to different fights or become incredibly useful 11th hour tools—the setup and payoff with them is fantastic.

Yes, some of these “relics” are dangerous weapons, but in the background of the whole season there is so much subtext. Optimus’s guilt and Megatron’s manipulations over what he did while he had no memory. Various rivalries between sides coming to a head. The Starscream wild card that continued to take everyone by surprise again and again. Optimus’s increasing impatience to finally end this war and set aside the rivalry to try and kill Megatron for real this time, several times.

Regardless of who had what item, the balance of power between both sides was shifting constantly. The Bots would get a slight advantage, and the Cons would match it immediately. The Cons would win a battle, but then infighting would cost them the next one. Optimus’s fancy sword was shattered the very next episode when Megatron made his own using a stolen hand of a dead Prime to power the magic creation hammer—a nice bit of commentary on mutually assured destruction. Megatron never would have gone that far if Optimus didn’t get his own uber powerful weapon first.

Nor was every battle over the MacGuffin-of-the-day the same. Different players, different environments, different rules at play depending on the power of the MacGuffin itself, or the ulterior motives of either side.

And there were consequences, too, as this series is pretty mature. Dreadwing dies pretty graphically, a different dead Bot gets turned into a ghoul and his (totally canon) husband loses his shit over seeing a filthy human wearing his metal skin around.

If you won’t watch this show because you think the franchise is lame, I can’t change your mind, but if ever there was an entry into the franchise that proved how good it could be—and there is a time and a place for the camp of G1—TFP would be it.

#tfp #transformers #transformers prime #fetch quest #writing advice

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notgonnaedit · 1 month ago

Text

Virus

Warnings: sickness, angst, crying, war, everything bad all at once

A/n: since I got sick I wanted to write a blurb for Althea. This takes place before TBB and before the Bad Batch arc in TCW.

@hugmekenobi @nottwonerdy777 @delicioustacocollector @covert1ntrovert

@clonethirstingisreal @dreamsight73

(Before the events of TBB)

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

The planet of Chirstophsis was dark and cold as Clone Force 99 navigated their way through the Central Plaza. A large domed structure loomed overhead, creating a darkness deeper than the lasting night. Puddles of water dotted across the stone surface, echoing the drip of the dome's leaks.

Althea scanned the surrounding area with her light, her eyes lamp like in the darkness. "Why are we here again?" She asked.

"The water is heavily contaminated and it is our mission to retrieve a sample for analysis," Tech replied.

"Why didn't they just get the regs to do it?" Wrecker asked.

"They all died."

A mix between a scoff and a snort came from Crosshair's direction.

"Whatever the reason, we're here now," Hunter spoke up. Althea knew him well enough that he was telling Crosshair to shut it.

Althea treaded along along the ground, her gaze upward as she examined the semi ruined structure. Its battle wrecked architecture may have once been beautiful, especially in the light of day. Suddenly, her footsteps faltered. A hollow thud echoed in the area.

Althea shifted her gaze to her feet to find an old phase 1 helmet from the early days of the war. She titled her head curiously and clipped her light to her belt. Squatting, the medic picked the helmet and turned it in her hands. The visor was punctured and had several cracks leading out from the hole. Yellow zig-zags were painted along the rim of the visor in a vibrating pattern. On the fin was an inscription in rough handwriting.

Twitch–212th Attack Battalion

"What was the beginning of the war like?" Althea's voice was a light melody in the devastation of war.

"It was a series of battles and objectives that were both strategically ancient and new, considering that the Jedi were–and still are–at the head of the front," Tech answered. His datapad beeped and clicked as he prepared the tools to get a water sample.

"Yeah, but what did it mean to you guys?" Pushed the ebony haired girl. "I mean, I barely even knew it was happening until the droids came."

Silence passed over the squad. What did the war mean to anyone? Did Twitch think it was a cause worth dying for, or was he just doing it because it was all he ever knew?

"That's a hard question, kiddo," Hunter responded after a moment. The nickname was a new normal, just like everything in Althea's life. "I'll have to get back to you on that."

Althea hummed. She set the helmet back on the ground, gently as to honor the memory of Trooper Twitch.

"There was a lot more head on battles," Wrecker stated as they walked. "We needed a medic then," he laughed.

Althea smiled his way. "You have more faith in me than I do."

Crosshair looked over at her, his visor hiding his sharp gaze. "Don't get shot around the medic," he sassed.

The ebony haired girl rolled her lamp like eyes. "I'm a medic, not a necromancer," she huffed. "Sometimes all you can do is make someone comfortable while they die."

Somber quiet settled over the team. All five of them soaked in the youngest's words as hit them in their own way. It wasn't until Tech's datapad beeped furiously that the silence broke.

"I have found what we are looking for," Tech announced. He knelt by a specific puddle and pulled a vial from his pouch. He pulled a glove from from his pouch as well and strapped in on over his already covered hand.

"What's the protection for?" Hunter inquired.

"The bacteria we are retrieving is of an unknown origin. I would prefer not to fall victim to its holds," the pilot dipped the vial into the water, scooping into its confines.

A small clatter reached Althea's ears. She turned, furrowing her brow as she attempted to locate its origin. She stepped away from the rest of the squad and shone her light in the direction of the sound. A few steps forward and she found herself squinting into the dark. Another step, but this time there wasn't a solid foothold.

"AH–!" Althea's scream was cut short as she submerged in to the puddle. The depth of each was unknown, but this one apparently went to Christophsis' core.

The medic flailed her arms in the cold water. She couldn't see, hear, or breathe. Panic was the only thing she was sure of. In a desperate attempt for freedom she ripped off her mask and kicked her legs. Her armor did nothing to help her.

There was no light she could swim up to, no way to know she was going the right way. Her limbs felt heavy, and her lungs burned for air. Her frantic movements slowed, and her eyes began to shut.

This was it.

Then, the feeling of a hand on her arm and waist. She felt herself being propelled in an unknown direction. She broke the surface and air bombarded her lungs.

She was hefted on to the ground, hacking and coughing.

"Thea! Thea, are you alright?" Fuzzy voices asked. Althea could barely open her eyes, let alone lift her head to the audio.

"How long was she down there?"

"Hunter, did you see anything?"

Hunter. Althea rolled her head to the side and saw a fully armored sergeant. Even with his armor guarding his body, Althea could see his chest heaving. He threw off his helmet, revealing perfectly dry hair and face.

Someone lifted her up into a sitting position and patted her back. Althea purged more water from her body. Weariness settled in her bones.

"I'm fine, Wrecker," she said to her aid.

The demo man looked down at her. He had pushed his helmet onto his head and consequentially the concern in his expression was visible.

"What happened?" Crosshair asked. "Did something grab you?"

"No," she said between coughs. "I misjudged the depth of the water," she forced a smile. "Pretty stupid, huh?"

"All in all, that could have gone much worse," Tech decided.

All he earned in response was stares of different calibers.

Hunter grunted as he stood, taking his helmet under his arm. "Let's head back to the Marauder. Tech, you got the samples, right?'

The pilot nodded. "Two vials should be sufficient enough."

Hunter returned the nod and glanced at each member of the team. "Good. Then let's get off this damn planet."

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

The walk back to the ship wasn't lengthy, and yet every one of Althea's muscles ached with a chill. Everyone entered the ship and went about their tasks, Tech's being the most important as he flew them into the atmosphere.

"How you feeling, kiddo?" Asked Hunter.

Althea sat on her bunk, rubbing her hands up and down her armored arms. "Cold. Very cold."

The sergeant frowned. He took his hands and pressed them against her cheeks.

"What are you doing?" Asked the medic. Though with her cheeks smushed it came out more like, "Whaareyouooing?"

"Checking your temperature," he responded. He pursed his lips. "This isn't how you do it?"

Althea huffed and took one of his hands and put in on her forehead. "Like this," she rolled her eyes at him. "How are you the leader?"

Taking his hand off her cheek, Hunter furrowed his brow. "We never really figured it out. Althea–" he took his hand off her head. "–you should have warmed up by now."

The girl shrugged and continued to shiver. Hunter glared at nothing as he worked out the situation in his mind. "Alright," he said after work a moment. "Change into your spare blacks and I'll find something to dry your hair."

Althea nodded and stood. She walked across the cabin width to get to the refresher, the door sliding shut behind her. She turned and began her task of discarding her armor, a routine she was very familiar with.

By the time she was done, Althea was feeling extremely tired and a bit out of breath. And where she would normally opt to wear a tank top and tie the sleeves of her blacks around her waist, the frigid air crept into her skin. Shivering, she buttoned the fresh blacks and stepped out.

All she wanted to do was lay down. She went to her bunk and sat on the edge, gaze glassy and on the floor.

"Got something," Hunter chirped as he walked over. A small hair tie was stretched between his fingers. "Is this yours or mine?" He shook his head. "Nevermind, it doesn't matter."

He moved behind her and clumsily tied her damp hair back in a loose pony tail. After he moved back in front of her, Althea stifled a groan. She was cold, tired, and every bone in her body itched.

"Hunter, I don't feel good," she mumbled.

The sergeant frowned and set his hand against her forehead again. "You're not getting any warmer," he murmured as he pulled his hand away. "Get some rest. You'll feel better when you wake up."

Althea nodded and lay down on her bunk. She watched as Hunter walked into the cockpit and wrapped her arms around herself. It was so cold, but her eyes couldn't stay open anymore.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

She had blinked and suddenly she was upright, hacking and coughing. Her ribs felt like they were bruised and her stomach felt like she had done crunches all night. She tried to take a breath but her body racked painfully. Barbed wire lined her throat. Her eyes stung with moisture. Everything hurt.

"Thea, just breathe, kid," a voice said.

"What's wrong??" Asked another. It was Wrecker. That was the only thing Althea was sure of. Wrecker was there.

"Wrecker?" She wheezed. She blink once to clear the water from her vision. Twice. A third time and she was finally able to see.

Four figures stood around her, their expressions a mix between confusion and concern. One was behind her, holding her upright–Hunter.

"Her immune system is under attack," stated another. Tech, definitely Tech.

"From what?" Hissed a voice. Crosshair, without a doubt.

Althea inhaled deeply and finally filled her lungs. A chill crept into her bones, filling her with ice. "I'm cold," she croaked.

A hand was pressed to her forehead from behind. "You're burning up," Hunter said. "Tech, what's going on?"

The pilot frowned, glancing between Althea and his datapad. "This...this isn't possible," he ran into the cockpit and began to shuffle things around.

"Tech, we have bigger problems," Hunter growled. Althea began to cough again, this time more violent.

The pilot ran back into the cabin with a vial of water in his hand, datapad in the other. He kept looking between the vial and Althea. "She's...she has the Blue Shadow Virus."

Time stood still. All eyes were on Tech.

Crosshair was the first to speak. "I thought the Blue Shadow Virus was taken care of."

"Yeah, isn't the doctor who brought it back in prison now?" Asked Wrecker.

"This is the original strain," Tech's eyes scanned over the screen intensely. "It's a water borne virus that..." He faltered.

Hunter narrowed his eyes. "That what, Tech?"

Tech swallowed before speaking. "According to the data, Althea only has 36 hours until the virus becomes fatal."

Hunter's eyes widened. He looked down at the girl he held. Her skin was pale and her breathing was shallow.

"What can be done?" Asked the sergeant. "There's a cure, right?"

Tech didn't answer.

"Tech!" Hunter barked.

"Yes!" The pilot snapped back to reality. "Yes, there is a cure."

"Where is the cure?" Wrecker growled.

"The last outbreak was on Naboo," Crosshair mentioned. "We should start there."

Tech nodded and walked into the cockpit. "I'll set the course."

Hunter exhaled and glanced down at Althea. Her brow was etched with pain, and a small whimper escaped her lips.

They needed to get to Naboo. Quick.

•°•°•32 Hours remaining•°•°•

Wrecker sat in a console chair. His leg bounced nervously. His hands were clutched together and pressed to his chin.

Worry wasn't a color the demo man wore often, and he felt out of place with it. Thea was sick, and she wasn't going to get better unless they got to Naboo.

"How much longer??" His gruff voice held tones of anxiety.

"Ten hours until we reach Naboo," Tech replied.

Hunter huffed waving his hand low in dismissal. "That's too long."

"Well–" Tech's quip was cut off by Althea's burst of coughing.

Her whole body was spasming in violent jerks. Hunter was the first to reach her, holding her upright and patting her back.

Wrecker was quick to act in grabbing a canteen of water. He crossed the cabin in no time and held the drink to her.

All she did was groan softly and barely move her head.

"It'll help, Thea," Wrecker urged gently. He pressed the canteen closer, but she still wouldn't take it.

Then Hunter did. The sergeant held it to Althea's lips and she drank. That's when it hit Wrecker; she was too weak to take it herself.

A small dribble of water rolled down her chin, but Hunter wiped it away. "There you go," he soothed. "Atta girl."

Althea's head lolled to the side, resting against Hunter's forearm. Wrecker took the canteen from him and sat back.

He didn't want to lose his little sister. Not like this.

•°•°•28 Hours remaining•°•°•

Crosshair sat in the co-pilot's seat stewing. He glared at the swirls of hyperspace as if he could intimidate them into speeding up their trip. Behind him he could hear Althea's soft whimpers. She was getting worse by the hour. But that wasn't the only thing that was aggravating him. Tech had said the Blue Shadow Virus was caught through water, yet Althea wasn't the only one who was in the water.

The toothpick between his teeth snapped.

The sniper picked the halves out of his mouth and turned to his pilot brother. "If the virus is caught from the water, why is Althea the only one sick?"

Tech pushed his goggles as they slid down his nose. "The most logical explanation is that Hunter did not ingest or inhale any of the infected water since he still had his helmet equipped when he dove after Althea."

Crosshair sat back in his seat, slipping another toothpick under his tongue. What Tech said added up, but it still didn't seem right.

Right as in it wasn't fair to Althea. She had already lost her entire family to war, and now she was sick with a deadly virus. They had only had her for a few months, but just imagining the ship without her, Crosshair felt a pain in his chest.

She brought something they never had before: light. She was a spark in the dreariness and depression of war.

And if she was gone...what chance did they have?

•°•°•22 Hours remaining•°•°•

"We're coming up on Naboo," Tech announced as he brought in the Marauder into the atmosphere. The focus he held as he few the ship was rivaled only by heart surgeons. But the past ten hours had been especially intense.

Althea's condition was worsening. She couldn't even keep water down anymore. Her cough sounded like her lungs had holes pierced through them and she barely had any throat left. In the past few hours blue veins appeared beneath the surface of her already paper thin skin. Her temperature had dropped from a deadly fever to an icy cold.

And she had less than a day left.

Tech rid his mind of those thoughts as he landed the ship. No, Althea would be fine. They would get the cure and get back, all according to plan.

He stood from his seat and walked to the cabin. Hunter still sat with Althea. He had seen better days himself. His hair was messy and he had dark circles under his eyes, yet he would not remove himself from his post. Watching over Althea had become his sole purpose.

Seeing this, Tech decided it would be best to have Hunter say behind. "We've arrived on Naboo," he said. "I believe it is best if Hunter stays behind with Althea."

The sergeant furrowed his brow. "I need to get the cure for her," his voice was heavy.

"That will not be a problem. Wrecker, Crosshair, and I will easily be able to attain it on our own."

"But–"

"Hunter," Tech's goggled gaze bore into Hunter's smokey one. "Althea needs you."

A soft moan from the girl prompted the sergeant to turn his attention back to her. He closed his eyes for a split second, then turned back to Tech. He set his shoulders back and assumed the role of leader. "Alright, but be quick"

The pilot nodded. Wrecker and Crosshair were ready behind him. "We will," they left the ship and the countdown to the cure was set.

Tech wanted–had–to be quick. A life that was significant to him was at stake.

•°•°•14 Hours remaining•°•°•

Hunter's anxiety was growing by the second. Althea's skin shifted from blue to white and her breathing was becoming more ragged. He didn't know what to do at this point except to hold her. Without the cure, she was going to–

Hunter shook his head of those thoughts. Althea would be fine. They would get the cure and she would be back to her old self.

He took the canteen again. He had to get her to try. Gently, he lifted her head up with his cradling the back of her head.

"C'mon, kiddo," he murmured. "Just drink something. Please."

Althea's brow knit tightly together. She murmured something unintelligible, even for Hunter's ears.

With a sigh, Hunter set the canteen down. There was no use in trying to get her to drink. The only thing that would help her was the cure, and that was in transit.

Althea's body heaved suddenly. Another round of hacking racked her body. But this time it didn't stop. She gasped for air, but the only sound that came was a gargled choke.

"No. No, no," Hunter sat her up, bracing her against his arm. "Breathe, Althea."

But she couldn't. Her blue veined body continued to shake with violent convulsions. Her coughs wouldn't stop.

Hunter's heart raced. This couldn't be happening. She was just a kid, she couldn't–

A sharp inhale entered Althea's lungs. Then another. She was breathing again. Her body slumped back, exhausted from the trauma.

Hunter let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. That was too close. He grabbed his comm and brought it to his mouth.

"Tech, how much longer?"

No response.

"Wrecker, Crosshair, status report."

Static.

Hunter huffed in frustration and set the comm down. Althea was dying and he couldn't help her.

It wasn't fair! Althea lost so much, and she didn't even get to finish her run? Hunter clenched his teeth. It should have been him to get sick. Maybe then Althea would have had a chance saving him. Or, maybe not.

"Sometimes all you can do is make someone comfortable while they die."

Hunter bit his lip. Tears pricked his eyes. How had he already gotten so attached to this girl?

This girl that lost everything, yet all she could.

•°•°•7 Hours remaining•°•°•

Everything hurt. Life was a haze of pain and fog. Althea wondered if she was even alive. Was she?

Yeah, she was. If she was dead she wouldn't be in so much pain. Her lungs felt so heavy, breathing was a chore.

Maybe it would be easier if she just stopped.

Althea snapped her eyes open. She was in a soft bed, in a small room. On the other side of the room, parallel to her, was a second bed. Everything smelt of dried goods.

This was her home.

Confused, Althea swung her legs over the side of the bed. Her feet hit the floor with a small thud. She became suddenly aware of how comfortable her clothes were. They were the fabrics of her village.

Althea stood and walked to the stairs. She knew this route by heart, yet everything seemed off. Once she reached the bottom of the steps, she opened the curtain that separated their home from their shop.

At the counter was a woman with long brown hair and warm yellow eyes. She was chopping vegetables and did a double take when she saw Althea. "Oh! You're early."

Tears blurred Althea's vision. "Mom," she ran to her, hugging her tightly.

Lucia gave her a squeeze then pulled away. "What are you doing down here? I thought you were trying to get some rest."

Althea sniffed. "But- I thought–what?"

Lucia smiled softly and cupped her cheek, wiping away the tears with her thumb. "Althea," she said softly. "Go back. It's not time yet."

"But–"

"Go on," Lucia insisted gently.

Althea looked up at her mother. "No! I wanna stay with you!"

"It's okay," Lucia pressed a kiss to her daughter's head. "I'll be here waiting for you."

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"I'll wait for you, kiddo."

Althea stirred softly as her eyes fluttered open. She was in the Marauder on her bunk. Beside her was a familiar figure who had seen better days.

Hunter sat by her, thumb stroking her cheek in a gentle motion. She turned her head slightly, and he snapped to attention.

She managed a weak smile. "Morning."

"You're up," Hunter murmured. "She's up."

A loud clatter sounded as Wrecker ran into the cabin, followed by Tech and Crosshair.

Hunter helped Althea sit up, keeping his hand on her back to support her.

"Good, you're alive," Crosshair said with folded arms. His tone held a bit of warmth, however.

"You had us worried for a minute," Wrecker chuckled.

"Especially when the cure didn't work at first," Tech added.

Althea furrowed her brow and looked at Hunter. "What?"

The sergeant let out a soft chuckle. "You had the Blue Shadow Virus, Thea–the original strain. You, uh, you almost didn't make it."

Althea looked closer at him and saw his eyes were red. He had stayed by her this whole time, caring for her as she danced with death.

A hard lump formed in her throat. She looked at Hunter. "Thank you," she looked back at the others. "All of you."

Wrecker grinned. "Hear that? Our medic thinks we did a good job taking care of her."

Althea smiled softly. "Yeah, Wrecker. You really did."

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb #oc #bad batch #fanfiction #tbb hunter #healer's family series

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