#Violence against trans men

[st-dionysus]

Glad you mentioned the squeeze test, this is something I've had to teach other trans men, to make sure we don't get clocked in a club, bathhouse, or any other place where a cis woman or cis man thinks it's OK to grope our crotch because consent doesn't count when you pass as a man. I've been gropped, touched without my permission, and hit far more as a man than I ever was as a woman.

For trans men who don't know about the squeeze test. When you get a soft packer, you should put it on adjust it, so it sits right in your boxers and then squeeze your packer, grab it like someone is gropping you, you want to make sure it doesn't feel rigid, squeeze the fat on your stomach (or if you have breasts, that fat) it should feel similar to that. If you have a partner with a natal phallo, and they don't have bottom dysphoria, ask if you can cope a feel to compare.

If someone grabs your crotch at a party, and it's obvious that your packer is not a natal phallo you can get clocked, especially in a bathhouse (an issue I have had before, and I was removed from the bathhouse by security, because the man who gropped me left to make a complaint about a "female" being in the gay bathhouse). I was lucky that it was anonymous, cause if that guy wanted to he could have charged me with Sexual Assault for not disclosing that I was transgender despite the fact that he gropped me without permission while i was giving oral to another guy.

Hard packers and semi-soft packers are harder (no pun intended) to past the squeeze test, so I don't recommend wearing a hard packer out to the club and only wearing a semi-soft to a straight nightclub or a strip club, where you'll be less likely to be touched.

And in regard to violence, there are trans men murdered every year with their corpses genitals mutilated, frequently they are transmasc children.

Other fun issues include: forced detransition, having our bodies weaponized as the reason why trans children shouldn't get to transition, the highest rate of sexual assault among all trans people and all other demographics, the highest rate of suicide among all trans people and all other demographics, the highest rate of medical abuse among all trans people (the only demographic higher is that of black women), the highest amount of abuse during pregnancy of all demographics, no legal protections to abortion even in states that have abortion protection, no legal protections to birth control pills in any state, forced detransition to get access to an abortion, forced detransition to get access to homeless shelters, forced detransition to get any "female" medical care in many states, being denied surgery if you are autistic in several states, being denined surgery if you are mentally ill, depressed, or suicidal (even if not having surgery is what causes those issues), out HRT is only possible through either medical professionls or the black-market (no grey-market or DIY of our hormones are allowed, and can result in being sent to federal prison), speaking of prison - we often fear changing our gender marker because a "M" can get us sent to men's prison -- and not one wants to be the man with a vagina in prison, and MUCH MUCH more!

i think posts like this show just how utterly disconnected other trans people are from the actual experiences of trans men, and just from trans men in general. bc a lot of y’all literally cannot comprehend that trans men experience anything besides getting misgendered occasionally and having to wear a binder. y’all think that’s the extend of trans masculine existence. because most of y’all do not fucking care to learn a damn thing about us.

we are literally talking about all of the things the second poster mentioned. we are talking about our rates of sexual assault and murder, we’re talking about medical transphobia, we’re talking about employment discrimination, public harassment, how the repeal of roe v wade affects american trans men, etc.

but you know what happens when we do that?

we get told to shut the fuck up.

so like. you gotta pick one. you can’t claim trans men aren’t talking about Serious Stuff that affects us and then actively silence us when we are literally talking about Serious Stuff that affects us.

[glitched-starlight]

As Gravity Falls reenters the void, and the inevitably of fanfiction begins to recirculate, there is a comment I fear I must send out to the general public.

As a trans man who gets, like, -1 representation in shows that aren’t explicitly about queer people, I often will latch onto characters that inexplicably have The Trans (TM) written into their bones, which includes Dipper Pines. And, as one might expect, I turn to my silly little A03 account to get my fix of representation and enjoyment of many a trans dilemma. Unfortunately, this is where my qualms get given the spotlight.

This is a generalization, but it seems as though every single godforsaken fic about trans!Dipper (I see this in the Spider-Man fandom a lot too, but that’s a conversation for a different day) he loses all his unhingedness, all his insanity, and is boiled down to a weak and sad little uwu trans boy who can’t handle his own dysphoria and falls apart at every slight inconvenience?

You’re telling me DIPPER, the same man who got called weak one (1) time and then disappeared into the woods for a solid 12 hours and came back half naked and rambling about positive vs toxic masculinity and manotaurs, is going to get misgendered and fall completely and utterly apart? You seriously think he’s going to have a run in with somebody who tries to bully him for being trans and he isn’t going to read them to filth? Are we forgetting that this is the same man who spent a whole episode learning about how to live and let live and then STILL told Pacifica her family was a sham with the mic-drop line of “deal with it”?????

Like good lord, please give this man some credit. I’m not saying he can’t have panic attacks, or trauma, or be treated differently by certain people, but it is the year of our lord and savior 2024 and we are STILL infantilizing trans men in fanon versions of media???

All I’m saying is if Mabel gets to keep her unhinged characteristics, you gotta let Dipper keep his too. Let Dipper punch a transphobe, as a treat.

[autistic-and-radical]

A trans identified teenager (17 years old) raped a younger girl (14 years old). The girl was told to refer to him per "she" in the courtroom because her rapist uses she/her pronouns. This happened in 2021, the case was resumed in 2023. The rapist got sentences to 3 years. AND GOT SENT TO AN ALL FEMALE PRISON!!!

[niiwa-angel]

First of all, it's really disgusting how assignedmale draws some he disagrees with. The "transphobe" is always frumpy, wearing ugly clothing, and inhuman expressions while the TRA is fashionable, drawn with very pretty features, and a more normal body type. It really shows his misogyny.

Moving onto the actual comic, suggesting women uncomfortable with a male in a woman's space just refrain from interacting with society at all is remarkably conservative. We've known for a while now that the trans crowd is very conservative, especially with their beliefs around real women, but it's interesting to actually see them embrace it so openly. Furthermore, what does he expect will happen if women who don't feel comfortable with males in their spaces stay home? All the nurses, teachers, grocery store workers, waitresses, and social workers just taking incredibly reduced shifts or quitting all together would not bode well for the world as a whole. But of course, he probably doesn't think about the value of women's labour.

Now let's talk about the trans kid being beaten at school aspect. Obviously mom child should ever be getting hit at school, that is a given. HOWEVER, it's interesting that he's got the trans identified child as the victim when it's pretty well documented that trans identified kids tend to be the aggressors. From trans identified males physically attacking female students to trans identified females verbally bullying other students, the idea that trans kids are these UwU angels incapable of doing anything wrong is a fantasy.

Here is a report of a trans identified male student dragging a girl by her hair

Here is a report of a trans identified male student slamming a females students head against the pavement and chewing on her eye.

Here is a report of a trans identified male student brutally beating a female student. The girl warned her guidance counselor that this male was harassing her and that she was on his 'hit list' but nothing was done to prevent the attack.

Here is a report of a trans identified male student beating a female student in a bathroom quite brutally.

There are tons more but I have other things to do besides look through all the cases of males beating girls.

[girlbloggercrowley]

trending tag right now is filled with “guys the author is a terf!!! and this is an election year!!! think about the implications!!!” and all i’m thinking is

1: the allegations are not about trans women. the allegations are about a cis man behaving abhorrently towards two women. the author, whatever her beliefs may be, is not speaking from a transphobic perspective in the piece. she is talking about misogyny, and how powerful men get away with things. this is not about trans people. you are using trans people as a deflection from discussion about men in power, something that affects trans people.

2: you guys are deathly allergic to even considering that a man might have committed sexual assault.

3: this is not a government psyop are you fucking stupid

[horseb0y]

Any space claiming "no cis men" as a restriction to enter said space is inherently unsafe for trans, nonbinary and queer people.

...

Think about it. How do the organizers define who is a cis man or who is not? What parameters are taken into account to affirmatively decide "this person is a cis man" or "this person is not a cis man"?

If our community preaches that gender identity doesn't equal gender expression; that you don't need to look a certain way to be queer or trans/nb; and that others cannot question your validity; and that genitalia has nothing to do with gender identity; then, it's contradictory to police people's appearances, mannerisms and perceived identity based on our judgements. You're, essentially, projecting your own prejudices onto others.

You may think it's "easy" to identify who's cis and who's not. Think again.

...

Trans women are often the most common victims of these sort of measures because of their perceived "masculinity", their femininity, their perceived features, their assumed life experiences and assumed genitalia. Their femininity and womanhood break the our binary norms and expectations.

When we enforce "no cis men" measures, we're implicitly asking trans women to perform feminity harder to comply with our transmisogynistic ideas, an expectation that is not asked of cis women, because we believe they're "woman enough" due too their AGAB.

And when we deny trans women safe spaces to simply exist, we reinforce the violence they've suffered since birth, we continue to marginalize them and expose them to life-threatening risks.

...

Trans men do not have it easier either. I've read and heard many stories of cis-passing trans men who no longer feel welcome or connected to the queer community because of the fear they might be questioned, accused of being cis men and not considered "queer enough".

Non-passing trans men do not benefit anymore from these types of thinking. A non-passing trans man is condescendingly accepted, always with the subconscious reminder that "they are not a threat", because they're "AFAB".

A trans man's transition is forcefully tied to the policies of the space, because if they don't comply, they may lose it. And that contributes to the cycle of invisibilization and the unrecognized violence transmasculinities face, in particular.

...

Anybody outside of the gender-sex binary is heavily monitored under these policies.

What about enbies/trans folks who have taken hormones or gotten surgery? What about trans folks/enbies who have not transitioned due to circumstances outside of their control or willingly? What about intersex folks, whose conditions vary from person to person? What about intersex folks who identify as cis but have a very queer experience? What about those who are unlabeled but feel safe in queer spaces? What about other binary-breaking identities, such as travestis or 2-spirit indigenous folks?

This isn't just a gender issue, it's also tied to race, class, disability and the historic socio-cultural conditions and expectations they've been put through.

...

Creating safe-spaces doesn't need to be tied to body-identity policing.

If you have a keen eye, you'd have noticed that I've barely talked about cis men at all, expect for minor mentions. That's because it really isn't about them. It's about all of the implications that type of thinking carries.

The most affected community are not cis men, rather, all queer, trans, nonbinary, intersex, POC, working-class and disabled identities who have to compete against each other to prove they're not the mystical, ominpresent cis man in order to be accepted and approved by the community to avoid life-threatening conditions.

That's the saddest part of this twisted game. We gotta justify and humanize ourselves in order to be seen and considered by others who are supposed to accept us.

...

All this might make you ask: what can we do?

The first answer might be obvious, but avoiding any bio-essensialist, TERF-y, transmedicalist language is a good start (e.g.: no cis men, woman and AFABs, anything that may too closely resemble "biological female human").

Second, don't assume or ask anything too personal. If someone feels like talking about their experiences or identies, let them do so at their own time. Listen, support. If you catch yourself about to ask about someone's identity, stop yourself or apologize. I know I've done it myself a couple of time in the past and it's something I'm actively working to avoid.

Third, create community guidelines together. Between community members, discuss boundaries and agreements; doesn't have to be anything fancy at first. Remember classroom rules? You could implement basic rules such as "respect your companions" and stuff.

But don't put your guard down, we all have biases, and those could come out implicitly or explicitly on your guidelines. Ask for feedback, let community members know they can be honest about their worries. Especially listen to those who are underrepresented, multiply marginalized or vulnerable.

As you grow, you can create specific protocols to contain or manage complex situations, such as argumens between two or more community members, discrimination, sexual misconduct, etc.

Lastly, always be willing to educate yourself on topics you're not knowledgeable.

These are some of the things I've learned as I've been involving myself in community participation and organizing over these last two years. Don't take my word as law, they're just suggestions. Modify and discard anything that won't helo your specific situation.

...

I could write a whole bible on this topic, but this is how I could summerize it best. Most of my thoughts are based on my own experiences and feelings on things that have happened in my local community and what I wish changed.

I admit, I'm not super knowledgeable on many topics, especially on matters pertaining to trans women and nonbinary people, since I'm not a trans woman or enby. I'm also white and middle class, that's why I didn't want to say a lot confidently on those topics, since it's not my place to speak. Feel free to add your own POV or correct me if I got anything wrong.

...

Before I go, I'd like to recommend Mikaellah Drullard's (she/her) videos on this. Mikaellah is a black, travesti, dominico-mexican activist and voguera who speaks on racism, trans identities, decolonialism, etc.

A situation arose in the queer CDMX community in relation the subject at hand. It's a deep rabbithole, but Mika explains why the phrase "cis men only" is a political mistake to build non-existent safe spaces:

Part 1 (spanish only): https://www.instagram.com/reel/DB-oPP3OTUt/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Part 2 (spanish only): https://www.instagram.com/reel/DB_lTOrujnJ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Part 3 (spanish only): https://www.instagram.com/reel/DB_2OTlOiT6/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

No part 4 as far as I'm aware.

I'd also like to link Kayla's (thefemmehistorian, she/they) posts on language within the queer community. She's a black, femme, lesbian advocate, writer, creative and storyteller who talks about social justice.

Why you should stop saying "women and femmes" (english only): https://www.instagram.com/p/C7xho_jNpFy/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

On cis women as allies to queer people (english only): https://www.instagram.com/p/C48gYtouH8F/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Stop referring to masculinity/masculine-of-center folks as inherently or innately problematic or oppressive (english only): https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvOATGMgg3N/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Please be respectful to them, don't send them any anti-blackness, transphobia, lesphobia, femmephobia, transmisogyny or xenophobia their way. If you wish to support them, check their links in their bios, they're wonderful speakers.

[mongrel-mage]

Literally trans men get hatecrimed and murdered as well. Trans men get assaulted and abused and terrorized for being trans. Trans men are victimized by larger systems as well.

Brandon Teena. Robert Eads. Camdyn Rider. Mar'Quis "MJ" Jackson. E.J. Boykin. Poe Black. Jeffrey "JJ" Bright. Oliver "Ollie" Taylor. Jacob Williamson.

So many names. I can go on. Trans men are not somehow exempt from transphobia, trans men experience sexism and misogyny and violence. Stop pretending that we don't.

[uncanny-tranny]

The idea that manhood is a type of violence that can be wielded is definitely something that I've found impacts me - the idea that to be a man, I have to fight and bleed for it, that fostering anything else is sacrilege. It's honestly really sad to look at cis men who are entrenched in this idea because it's a curse. I've also found this threat of violence wielded against me in order to "prove" I'm not a man, that if I can not beat people into submission that I am not truly worthy of manhood.

I ultimately see this viewpoint of manhood as fragile - not because manhood or masculinity is inherently so, but because it relies so heavily on other people and if they approve of their manhood. It relies on climbing on other people through any means necessary. Should our manhood only be expressed through the blood on our knuckles? Is it right that we bathe ourselves in so many layers of machismo and false arrogance that our true selves are frozen beneath layers upon layers of apathy and fear?

[lord-radish]

imagine thinking that trans men are inherently bad or evil or predatory on the basis of gendered privilege and societal power structures. cringe

[transfemgorgug]

you are men and men are part of the oppressor class, thereby benefiting from privilege regardless of whether or not you want to or acknowledge it

[niiwa-angel]

Hey ladies. You wanna know what trans "women" think of us? You really wanna know? It's disturbing, I warn you.

See that? See how they think of us as lesser? They aren't our "sisters" they are not our allies. They're just like every other porn sick, abusive, disgusting man out there. Do not fall for their whining that they "just want to pee" or "are trapped in the wrong body"

They're perfectly happy in their bodies, they love that they can hurt us by raping us. They love even more that they've created a category that makes them untouchable. Don't give them the benefit of the doubt, this is what they are.

[clit-a-cola]

you’re disgusting by the way.

it’s bad enough that you’re a rampant transphobe, but now you’re also attacking kids on the internet for voicing their own opinions? holy fuck, the block button exists for a reason. if you don’t agree get over yourself and press it.

also trans people (like myself) are valid, no matter what you say :)

Uh oh girlies anon thinks I'm gross for defending gay people :(

That homophobic dipshit is 18 dumbass she's gonna have to learn to grow tf up eventually and deal with it when people call out on her homophobia and she can block me herself if she don't like being called out on her bigotry!

And ???Ok?????? Go be valid???? I fucking guess????

[thekidsfromyestergay]

Reminder that the idea of the Evil Trans People Forcing Cis Men To Become Women was made up by t/rfs to paint trans women as evil and predatory while also perpetuating their narrative that feminine men are "appropriating womanhood", and attempting to reframe that exact idea as a real and serious problem is simply feeding into their transphobia and lending it validity

[ariel-seagull-wings]

@the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @thealmightyemprex @piterelizabethdevries @professorlehnsherr-almashy

[lovebloods]

.

[hard--headed--woman]

?? isn’t it a bit dramatic. isn’t it fucking dramatic. like is it really what oppression, discrimination and systemic violence are for you? wow you're lucky.