#Very clear he was not
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IW and EW is confusing
so...this isnt even remotely surprising but I'm surprised Pikachu abt it, its surprising to me.
When i initially fronted i assumed I'd act similar to in IW but that literally didn't happen. I dont recall I like writing and drawing in IW but I feel the urge to here...and I'm much cooler headed in EW.
The whiplash makes me go ":0" it's so...weird. especially since I'm still 100 percent me, but I act completely different in EW. Well at the same time the front has some...baggage left of the people who used to be here. Theyre gone. Dunno where they are.
One is something that makes me unable to talk, administered by no one, its just like a cage imposed on my mouth that snaps closed and makes me unable to use my windpipes.
Two is a person left behind made by the old host who's become his own independent being and keeps fronting, shoving me aside and bursting into the body in certain situations. Admittedly, they do a better job than me but it's still violating as I have no choice except to be an observer.
Three...the fact I'm...even thinking so much, is...uncharacteristic. Well, I wasn't exactly devoid of braincells back in IW, but like...I definetly didnt think as much. Especially about plurality. It's unnerving to realize I'm one person and there's others as well who may front in future. Because i feel like one guy if no one else is around, but I know it's not true because I can access memories of the previous fronters and they thought they were the only one too. I can't really talk to the other people. I know I'm technically an alter formed due to trauma of the EW body and past but I only know this from the information base and...thing is, my life is completely different to the EW's and especially since the person who was around during the early years of the External body's life, has gone or died or something. He's just not here so me and the others who aren't fronting are just left with...ourselves, since the fact we exist is coz of that trauma that none of us acrually experienced. Oh, and the memories left behind and stored. So I do have the memories to look into but thats it.
Im not really...conscious of the fact I was formed from EW body's trauma. I get it conceptually but not actually. Coz, you see, I got a whole world I belong in, relationships, a past. I straight up identify 0% of me with the External world body's experience and past...to me the trauma was just kinda the conduit of how I am created but its not important to me at all.
There is some things that jar me. Namely my current fixation on plurality since like...I...wait nvm.
Its coz I'm not a facet I'm a whole person. I dont feel like part of a whole. I'm my own individual. And I'm aware of others coz they appear and because I can access memories in the info base, not very well but enough. And I also get mega pissed off if the same stuff that was the reason the system was a system and not a singlet happens again to me, and I feel kind of...an ancient kind of rage. One I as a singular person didn't create, more of the rage and disappointment left over by one of the people who was in the system long ago. In those moments I see the memories of that person as 'mine', usually I don't do that. I can see memories from former fronters but as a spectator although it's first person.
I guess the rage caused by the same triggers that created the external body's early trauma is deeply rooted in all of us, whoever fronts or is 'conscious' and not doing their own thing in innerworld.
The confusing thing is when that happens I kind of revert to singlet mode and kind of...embody the old alter naturally, the one who pretended to be the only one, basically rping as a singlet and adding all external world events and treating them as 'their experiences' and trying to be 'normal' I, on my own, don't identify with a lot of stuff EW body went through. Purely because it literally didn't happen to me in a Literal sense, and that's coz I was only fully formed a few days ago. So it couldn't happen to me. That being said I do feel what the old alter/s felt so it's kinda like being there but I wasn't actually there, still, I do feel their emotions from that trauma strongly at times and from an outside standpoint you couldn't tell the stuff didnt happen to ME, in a Literal sense.
so what am I getting at here. Its that it's pokemon gasp, kind of a surprise and shock fronting after the old fronter was aware of me existing (they thought I was a character they created)
because stuff is just...totally different from what I'm used to. I act different too and like different things. Then again it's not completely true because the things i do in EW are similar to a lot of stuff I did in IW as a young kid, but its been long since I've been that kid, I barely even remember I was him most of the time due to shit that happened in IW. I guess, doing something I used to do as a young kid and feeling a sense of whiplash and discomfort is actually very simular to if it was in IW and my entire point isn't valid.
-> so in fact jts more...on the surface I act different in EW than IW but acrually I do the same things just in a different context and stuff.
-T
#nonsense rambling#I need help#There's a nasty voice telling me I'm making all of this up and I'm a singlet but a past fronter roleplayed as a singlet for ages and it was#Very clear he was not#So I'm not sure where that voice is coming from#Maybe it's a side effect of being in#A brain that got assfucked by society in the EW#Speaking of brains sometimes actions the body does is coz of influences in the EW I didnt even live in#So it's whiplash and kinda weird but at the same time to be expected#Bodily reactions aside. Stuff like nasty voices are always in front. Being in IW is very different to being in front and interacting with E#While dealing with all the garbage the previous frontiers left behind in the Fronter's lounge#That#Combined with being aware of the memories coz of access to the infospace changes someone....#So it's not remotely surprising I'd act different in EW#It's me + a bunch of baggage from many places + access to many memories from people I dont even know and still being able to feel them as i#I was them - kind of. In observer mode#I've discovered there's actually a more hidden file in infospace which logs a...internal world of a past fronters experience in EW as if#Their IW is their EW and they're a singlet#So that makes it more confusing i guess#Because I can remember memories of 'me' (the former fronter) in EW as if it was the only world they exist in đ
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The Aftonâs different ways of parenting in FNAF
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#mrs afton#william afton#fnaf 4#afton family#The difference between William and Mrs Afton#I wanna believe Michael was closer to his mom#or at the very least she was way kinder to him#William is quick to putting down Michael to act right#itâs embarrassing to him for Michael to not just stay in line#ruins his idea of being a perfect family and lay low#while Mrs Afton sees clear her son is just being a kid#that he as probably trying to defend himself#and she wouldnât want him to get into more fights of course#but wonât bring him down too much especially when William is the way he is#she would clean off his wounds and bandage him up#I like to think Michael got his humor from his mother
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sukuna has full-blown conversations with your cat when you're not at home . like you come home one day and find them in the bathroom â sukuna is shaving his face while the cat sits on the counter beside him, and he's just talking with the little beast. and it seems so serious, too, like they're both very into the conversation???? anyway it's a ridiculously endearing sight aaaand it also gives you the perfect material to tease him with lmao he'll click his tongue whenever you bring it up and most likely he'll counter you by telling you that you're just jealous..
#it's a very clear image in my head btw#no baby voice or nothing#he's just talking to the little guy lmao#so cute:333333333#sukuna#mickey is daydreaming#mikuna
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What is Athena up to post God Games?
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Andrew: no girlfriends
Aaron: okay
Andrew, gay:
#andrew minyard#aaron minyard#twinyards#aftg#tfc#all for the game#I just know aaron was pissed as hell when he was able to sit down and think about it after baltimore#andrew's such a dick I love him so very dearly#to be clear this is a joke and I understand the deal was more nuanced than this lmao
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i think a lot of people (especially those who havenât read the books) are underestimating Hades
yes, he presents as the sassy queer uncle whoâs done with his familyâs drama, but heâs not âjust some guyâ
when his Helm is stolen, no one knows about it. he uses his own resources and orchestrates a plan to bring Percy to the underworld alive, all while managing an entire freaking kingdom
he doesnât threaten war because he doesnât have to and he knows it. unlike Zeus, he keeps a level head and thinks about the situation logically
think about Percyâs priorities throughout the show, look at what the flashbacks are teaching us about him and his relationship with others. think logically. this is a 12 year old kid who grew up with a single mom and no friends
his priority is his mom, itâs always been his mom and Hades knows that. Percyâs worst fear is losing his mother and Hades uses that against him
he takes Sally before Poseidon claims Percy because he has eyes everywhere. he already knew who Percy was and he already had a plan formed before Percy even set foot in camp
when he greets Percy and Grover he isnât surprised, relieved, or agitated because he planned this. he knew that Percy would come to him whether by force or by his own choice (for my book readers, think about this in comparison to how Zeus reacts to the situation. Zeus comes off as desperate and angry, whereas Hades is at ease. annoyed, sure, but never panicked)
when he offers them pomegranate juice itâs in the guise of politeness and humour but it has an underlying meaning. Percy knows the stories about Hades and Hades knows that he knows. the pomegranate juice is a reminder, itâs Hades demonstrating his power without outright threatening Percy. itâs him going âI can make something as small as a pomegranate seed into a weaponâ itâs him asserting his dominance and control over the situation
he leads them to a seating area clearly made for their arrival. another reminder that he knew they were coming and Sally stands, frozen in the middle of it as a reminder of what they have to lose
when he learns that itâs Kronos behind the robberies he immediately offers sanctuary to Percy, Grover, and his mom. Kronos, the king of titans, the father of all Gods, and a being who could once tear the world in two with the snap of his fingers, wants Percy, and Hades offers to protect him because heâs that powerful
so yes, Hades makes dad jokes and he talks in a way you wouldnât expect an all-powerful being to talk, but he isnât âjust some guyâ
heâs powerful, he knows it, and he shows just enough of that power to absolutely terrify Percy
#the only reason percy is able to stand up to him (leave without his mom) is because he can see that hades isnât bad#he can see that hades actually cares about people and that he wonât kill him when he tries to leave#otherwise he never would have tried to leave in the first place#because hades makes it very clear just how powerful he is#hades pjo#pjo tv show#pjo spoilers#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#long post
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News spreads fast.
[First] Prev <â-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#I absolutely love the contrast between JGY and JGS in this scene.#While JGS is acting as an instagator and trying to fan the flames of discontent (pulling his devious (g) strings)#JGY tries to keep a fairly neutral stance. If anything he reads like someone who's attempting to chair an unruly group project.#Honestly I think this scene does so much to show us why JGY manages to become the respectable leader he does in the future.#He's actully good at leading discussions and doesn't rise to bait. He's trying to start a productive discussion with *real facts*.#There is genuine honour in his approach and he never jumps into the emotional bandwagon.#The issue at the moment is that he doesn't have same level of authority as the contrastively *worst* sect leader does.#Jin Guangshan has a very specific agenda - to gain power by throwing anyone he deems expendable into the gutter.#The story even explicitly calls him out on not being so different from Wen Rohan multiple times.#The insidious part is that he's surrounded by people who think this is all justified.#It's all about using the 'victim' narrative to leverage justification. Which I'll get into more in upcoming comics.#(cut off text in panel one is supposed to be 'dead girls walking' but I ran out of room to make that clear. whoops!)
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there's something to be said about the choice to use "prince" as the main signifier of military rank for the andalites. because it kinda obscures the truth of the situation, doesn't it? a group of kids getting magic powers from an alien prince sounds whimsical and delightful. a group of kids getting pulled into a war by an alien colonel sounds tragic and horrible. the slow reveal of what "prince" actually means over the course of the early books is perhaps the most underrated twist of the entire series, because it fundamentally recontextualizes the entire premise of the series without the reader even consciously realizing it.
#i feel like there's probably a good analysis you could make about how the title of âprinceâ shapes jake's arc throughout the series#like it's very clear how ax ascribing that rank to him affects ax's own arc#but i think there's something there about how prince elfangor remains a beacon of respect throughout the entire series#while prince jake becomes more bloodstained and morally burdened#and the few times he invokes the prince title himself are fascinating#eh maybe a topic to think about for another time#animorphs#andalites#idiot teenagers with a death wish#koolmathgames.com
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FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 61-64)
* I-I don't think we were talking about the same thing...
[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]
#FINALLY FINISHED THIS WOHOO#Okay so#I have been keeping this small part of info secret for SOOOO long and it was so funny that JUST this week I got a ton of asks about#Wingdings' voice and I was SO tempted to talk about this little detail#BTW I DIDN'T FULLY MAKE THIS UP#i mean#Yeah I did#BUT IT IS BASED ON SOMETHING I NOTICED!!!!!!#When redacted talks in Wingdings the sound is clean#but when we listen to entry 17 (which is most likely a recording)#There's a VERY loud overlay of garbage noise#And so I was like#I could use this.........#like yeah a sound based on symbols?? we can't understand it! but our brains might do the work for us and maybe try to understand it?#but recording it goes very bad.....#I thought it was fun so I made it a hc for Gaster#and then I applied it here :D#lol#I think the pacing of this one is also a bit too fast but ehh#I hope it's clear#I am so proud of how I drew Alphys in these pages I feel like I am finally understanding her shape and how I want to stylize her#Sans is very good at reading people#He can tell when people are lying#that's why Wingdings didn't lie! he just conveniently forgot to tell him some details about what they found#okay yeah that's enough#TIME FOR THE TAGS#undertale#forgettable-au#forgettable-au-comic#sans
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not to say that psych doesnt have continuity errors bc it absolutely does (as is the natural case with any weekly cable show that ran for eight years) but id argue that it gets away with a lot more than its peers bc of the fact that its main character is a professional liar. 70% of the stuff that comes out of shawns mouth is either an objective falsehood or total nonsense made up for the bit. when he wants you to think hes smart hes smart and when he wants you to think hes stupid hes stupid and when it is even slightly funnier to lie than to tell the truth, he will absolutely pick door number one, every time
#of course he is very smart because if he wasnt he wouldnt be able to pull any of this shit off. but hes also very stupid#hope this clears things up#phil.txt#lskjflsds delete later#psych
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one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.
the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.
like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.
but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.
so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.
i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?
but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?
sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?
and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.
nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.
the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!
and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.
#spilled ink#writeblr#i hope it is clear here that i actually very much care about equatorial countries#and that's part of what makes me so angry bc im like. climate refugees exist.#they've existed for a while!!!#and the reply is almost always ''should have thought about that before living on an island"#like fuck dude. do you need to like how people vote before ur like#your entire house shouldn't burn down each summer????#so many of these people make it their life to mock california that they think it's FUNNY#and im like. girl you should be fucking trembling. TEXAS??? ARE YOU LISTENING??#this is one of those times that like. i need to stress how fucking stupid it would be#to let trump win. bc he could have âreached across the aisle.â covid could have been#a MASSIVE commercial success. he has such a huge and bigoted and brainwashed following.#literally just a PR campaign called COWBOY UP and it's pictures of cowboys in bandanas#trump reinvisioned as the lone ranger fighting for the american people against covid. EASY SELL#and instead. companies bought him. it became political. it was not ''oh shit this is 1 enemy let's all be human''#it was ''you deserve to die.''#climate change should be GLOBAL. it should be like ''yeah i hate u but. we do all live here''#i don't have to LIKE my group members to do well on a team project bc we are ALL getting graded.#is that simple enough of an under-explaination lol
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Spoilers, it's dysphoria
#panrao#my art#sir crocodile#crocomom#crocodad#dadodile#one piece#monkey d luffy#tony tony chopper#my take on the mama or dad conversation#luffy has trouble understanding gender and the intricate meanings different words have#He considers Crocodile very much male#but also calls him mom since to him it's the most literal meaning he can think of#he doesnt mean it in a demeaning way but since he gave birth to Luffy=mom in Luffys mind#Croco quickly clears up any misunderstandings about his gender#with his hook lmao#Luffy only gets away with it because Crocodile has a soft spot for him#of course all very much headcanon and not canon (yet..)
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are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid
#that's the hottest thing I've ever heard I feel nuts#what an absolute chad alistair continues to be tbh there may be a day when men fail but it will not be when he's here#like I'm very sorry to the blond chantry boy repeat crowd but cullen could & would NEVER!!! they are NOT the same!!!!#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#alistair x warden#can u imagine what it must be like to be irving standing there watching this happen. you're free and your kid is dead. congrats#tried to free her from the circle and she's the sacrificial lamb that bought the circle's freedom instead. fuck dude#it does make for a very sad kind of symmetry that every time irving tries to get clever with it he triggers a monkey's paw situation fhdskj#I am replaying the game with my new canon (mistress amell + king alistair to save him from the da:i fade choice lol)#and in doing research I found out about this and had my world rocked. I've never had my warden die before so this is new to me#(my warden isn't dying in this canon to be clear she's going to be the reason no one would dare assassinate king alistair lol#nightmare bae eminance gris behind the throne/loving and supportive partner with a fade connection and a vengeful side#she's going to be like sam vimes tiredly fending off assassins as the watch books go on except she murders a lot more people back)#the way his voice breaks in the version where they were broken up tho... sick and twisted and mean to me specifically
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It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.
His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.
He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.
#it makes me really angry how adamant some people are against exploring his sweeter side beyond just ''heehoo evil doctor''#idk how to tell you that giving a character a wider range of complexities and oftentimes contradicting traits#does not equal 'woobification'. him being friendly social and cheerful and fascinated with the world around him (which he canonically is)#is not the same thing as writing him as a helpless softboy. those two things do not correlate#he was visibly worried when sniper wanted to get back in the fight!#it's so abundantly clear that medic just misses social cues and doesn't always react accordingly#plus his quote unquote evilness is a joke it's not. something that is meant to be taken seriously#he's more comparable to a saturday morning cartoon villain except he is a protagonist#the way he approaches medicine to me is very similiar to#a child playing potions if that makes sense. he is throwing shit together to see what sticks#and having fun with it#i might rewrite this later to be more coherent because i have alot of thoughts on him that are jumbled together#and there is so much to say abt him#also i find it so funny how inconsistent he is. he tells them they all hallucinated before brain death#yet he personally went to hell multiple times. why did he do that#tf2#medic#tf2 medic#medic tf2#team fortress 2
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Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...
Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...
Part one
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#there's a lot i could say about this one#the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is#edwin telling edwin? lmao#the charles... oh they hate each other#reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell#but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy#og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking#i'm telling you anyways#he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell#why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened#so why not this one? unfair#then again... look at this charles who did go to hell#he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS#he shouldn't be near edwin#if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though#physical contact!! reverse charles loves it#i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches#luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year#i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear#but still would love to hear your thoughts
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manic pixie dream girl
maniacal demon nightmare twink
#thats fucking oomf still#i feel bad because of the very very clear and obvious favoritism#like socks my fave. and hes also easier to draw than jonathan to me. sorry⌠deadly combo.. i got smth cooking tho#welcome to hell#welcome to hell fanart#welcome to hell film#welcome to hell 2#w2h#w2h2#w2h fanart#w2h sock#sock sowachowski
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