#Val Wise

[traeumenvonbuechern]

⚾ Books To Read If You Love "A League of Their Own" ⚾

I can’t believe Amazon canceled "A League of Their Own" 😭 Here are some books you should read if you miss this show as much as I do.

(Also, please remember that ALOTO wasn't canceled "due to the strikes". Amazon is the one to blame here, not WGA & SAG-AFTRA!)

Book titles:

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo

You Don't Have a Shot by Racquel Marie

Cleat Cute by Meryl Wilsner (comes out September 19, 2023)

Cheer Up: Love and Pompoms by Crystal Frasier, Val Wise and Oscar O. Jupiter

Home Field Advantage by Dahlia Adler

Joy, to the World by Kai Shappley and Lisa Bunker

The Avant-Guards by Carly Usdin and Noah Hayes

Like Other Girls by Britta Lundin

The Passing Playbook by Isaac Fitzsimons

Running With Lions by Julian Winters

[didididraws]

my tablet is currently halfway across the country for repairs (my brother's the most tech-savvy in my family and asking him to take a look at it was cheaper than taking it to a shop) so i haven't been able to draw lately. i've made a bunch of traditional sketches in the meantime, but none of them are presentable enough to post here, so i decided to take a trip down memory lane and fill out one of foxorian's influence maps!

below the cut are the names of the artists featured here, as well as a little bit of director's commentary on how they've influenced me :]

yugo limbo (website, tumblr, twitter) - some time last year, i realized something profoundly unnerving: i actually... don't like the art in smile for me's original release all that much? that's not to say it's bad, just that there isn't a whole lot about it outside of maybe its architecture that stands out to me. which is REALLY WEIRD, considering i wrote a whole retrospective about how much this game means to me. art-wise, however, it was only after smile for me's release that yugo limbo's art evolved in a way that really resonated with me; i love how textured everything is, i love the way they simplify clothing folds and the way that skin wrinkles around the joints, i love their love for puppets; all of those things ended up worming their way into my art style and tastes one way or another, and i couldn't be happier!! it didn't feel right to leave smile for me out of the equation entirely, though, so i chose a piece that was both related to that game and that i felt reflected a lot of what i love about yugo's more recent art.

echobsilly (twitter, tumblr) - oh god, speaking of yugo limbo - god. i fucking love echo's art so much i have no idea how to even do it justice in writing. like many people i first found him through his smile for me/limbolane fanart and animations - and those are some of his best work, don't get me wrong, but i really wanted to include one of his original designs to make a point that he's just fuckin great at art in general. character design, facial expressions, body language, composition, LIGHTING... he makes it all just. so so so gorgeous. i always liked "painterly" art styles for lack of a better word, but i think his art is what first pushed me to embrace that more in my digital art. i also like how he talks about dr. habit like he's his dead wife. i'm very proud to call him a friend these days :]

japhers (tumblr, twitter, instagram) - i first found japhers' art in high school and he very quickly became a HUUUUUGE influence on my taste in character and costume design. one of the big reasons i never fully bought into the idea that men's fashion is inherently harder to design is bc so much of his art is already dedicated to exploring fashion Without the restrictions of a gender binary in place which is to say that he's really good at drawing buff dudes in frilly outfits. i also think he gave me more confidence to draw more intricate costumes without having to worry about super dainty and clean lineart, bc a lot of his art looks like it's kinda been carved/rendered out of sketches, and it is Gorgeous.

moe suppe (website, tumblr, cohost) - another artist i found in high school, albeit originally from a long-gone instagram account. his art is what kickstarted my desire to have some Roughness in my art, some Texture. it may not have stuck to my lineart, but it Definitely stuck to my rendering. it helped that i was going through a pretty big angel/demon phase at the time, which meant i was pretty immediately drawn in by his delightfully weird worldbuilding. i should probably read fear not now that it's an actual serial...

val wise (website, itch.io, twitter, instagram) - a more recent influence, but a pretty significant one nonetheless. i featured the cover of délicatesse here because it was the first thing from him that i had ever read, but in general his grasp on the human body really blows me away given how deceptively simple his style looks at first glance, especially his faces. the way fat and hair sits on her bodies, and how much it varies from character to character... it's beautiful without being So glamorous that it feels untouchable. his costume design is also great. i recommend his comics for low fantasy/ursula k. le guin fans who are Dying to see more fat characters in leading roles. i also just found out that i am of two hearts is free on itch.io, so i'll be treating myself to that over spring break.

partycoffin (tumblr, twitter) - if you have known me for any amount of time at all then this should not come as a surprise to you. i actually wasn't going to include partycoffin in this map at first, because while welcome home has inspired me in Many creative pursuits, i didn't think visual art was one of them? i definitely picked up some of clown's love for dramatic lighting and thinner lines with just a smidge of well-placed hatching subconsciously, though.

ryoko kui - probably the most recent artist featured here? anyways i have a confession to make: i have yet to read dungeon meshi. i just know that when i saw a post compiling a bunch of ryoko kui's sketches from her daydream hour series, i was so overwhelmed with this feeling of, like… "oh, yeah, these capture almost everything i love about women as flesh and blood people. when i draw women this is the kind of beauty that i want people to see in them." of course, ryoko kui is a great character designer in general, but something about her women specifically really speak to me. the earthier color palettes and rendering also do a lot to endear her art to me.

shuzo oshimi - specifically his art in blood on the tracks. something that really stood out to me in that series was whenever the shadows would get really intense, and you'd get these big blocks of black with just the faintest bit of hatching to soften out some of their edges. it was always very effective in creating this sense of claustrophobia. i really want to keep incorporating that in my more intense pieces!

person918x (tumblr, instagram) - i don't work with 3d art often and i don't see myself doing so any time soon, but the composition of person918x's pieces is something i take a lot of inspiration of. i also love his sequential art, as someone who does a lot of dream journaling it's sick to see the exact Vibe of a dream be put to (digital) canvas. i also firmly believe that he's one of the only people out there who knows what he's doing when it comes to using generative AI in art.

oops i made this list too long so now i have to put the last two artists in a new block.

10. meatgiri (twitter, instagram) - definitely the artist i've known about the longest out of this selection. i think i've been following her since…. oh god. since i was in middle school. way before she was meatgiri, even. i think her influence probably shows up the least in my art, but there are definitely some characteristics that stuck with me for a very long time (the lil block of black accompanied by one or two lines for shading on the neck, the looser lineart making it really easy to incorporate soft curves and sharp edges, the Eyes, etc etc.) i chose this drawing of her oc juniper bc i thought it was both reflective of her current art And a good embodiment of a lot of things i wanted to emulate from her art as a young'un.

11. dragan bibin (website, instagram) - specifically his 'deimos' series. much like with person918x, it's his compositions that really stand out to me the most, and you probably know by now that i'm a sucker for high contrast. i find it interesting though that he uses high contrast to obscure more than he does to highlight... helps a lot with giving the deimos paintings that air of Quiet Unease. another thing i want to incorporate in my horror-adjacent art! manmade environments gone wrong!

[automatismascrive]

Un consiglietto corto per dei fumettini a tempo: ShortBox Comics Fair 2023

Ciao cari. Un blog meno discontinuo e raffazzonato dedicherebbe diversi paragrafi a scusarsi per l’assenza prolungata, spiegherebbe nel dettaglio ciascuno dei motivi che hanno portato ad un completo stop di pubblicazione e perché no, darebbe succosi aggiornamenti sulla vita privata del suo curatore, ma come è chiaro ed evidente questo è proprio un blog discontinuo e raffazzonato: un post ogni tanto, quando a) mi capita sotto il naso qualcosa di interessante (frequenza: alta) e b) la vita mi permette di trovare le energie per scrivere della suddetta cosa interessante (frequenza: beh, lo vedete da voi). Dunque senza perdere ulteriori energie a spiegare i motivi dei miei dilatati tempi di postaggio, passiamo all’argomento del microconsiglio di oggi: la ShortBox Comic Fair, edizione 2023.

Come specificato nelle succinte ma esaustive FAQ del sito, l’evento funziona come una classica fiera del fumetto, semplicemente in formato virtuale: gli artisti selezionati hanno diversi mesi per sceneggiare, disegnare ed eventualmente colorare un fumetto completo, che sarà poi ospitato nella bacheca virtuale del sito e venduto esclusivamente in PDF per cifre piuttosto modiche (si va dalle 2 £ alle 10 £ per i fumetti più lunghi); l’artista può eventualmente decidere di rendere disponibile il suo fumetto anche al di fuori delle tempistiche della fiera, che dura fino all’ultimo giorno di Ottobre, ma le regole stabilite dal sito prevedono che i diritti di pubblicazione della ShortBox cessino con la fine del mese – si tratta dunque in buona parte di fumetti a tempo, disponibili per poche settimane ad un costo modico. Ho scelto dunque di comprarne tre per farmi un’idea del genere di materiale ospitato, degli artisti coinvolti e certo, anche perché sospettavo che ci sarebbe potuto scappare un consiglietto (guarda un po’, sempre a pensare al lavoro) – e non ho avuto torto, perlomeno nel caso di due dei tre fumetti acquistati.

Iron (Alissa Sallah)

Sfortunatamente la fiera non offre tavole dei fumetti da usare per recensioni e segnalazioni, quindi mi limiterò a postare altri lavori degli artisti citati. Notare che Sallah ha uno stile molto variegato.

Or, leader di Ferrum Magalo e attualmente impegnato in una guerra che sembra destinato a perdere, ha una speranza: convincere uno dei principi dell’Argntum, nazione notoriamente (anzi, “violentemente”, come ci viene segnalato nel testo) neutrale, ad entrare in battaglia e ad uscirne vincitore per compiere la profezia che viene annunciata ormai da anni dai profeti – che godono di ben poca fiducia presso la popolazione, considerando quanto poco azzeccano previsioni semplici come quelle del tempo. Tuttavia la situazione è talmente disperata che Or decide di partire alla volta della montagna sulla vetta della quale dovrebbe risiedere il principe Vrgl; vetta piena di pericoli nonché pattugliata da mistici uomini-angelo dalle straordinarie abilità, che testeranno il coraggio e la risolutezza del nostro protagonista, anche perché ad attenderlo non ci sarà certo una persona particolarmente collaborativa...

Sarò onesta: la storia è davvero tutta qui. Complice il numero di pagine davvero esiguo (27, includendo titolo e bio dell’autrice) la vicenda raccontata è estremamente essenziale, priva di ribaltamenti, sviluppi nelle relazioni tra i due personaggi rilevanti che non vadano oltre l’ovvio e in generale poco incisiva nei momenti cardine che dovrebbero avere un certo impatto emotivo – come quello del rituale che lega Or a Vrgl. Quello che davvero spicca di questo fumetto è lo stile di disegno: fin dalla copertina è davvero semplice riconoscere in quei corpi slanciati, nei visi delicati e nelle proporzioni una chiara ispirazione agli shōnen-ai/yaoi di qualche decennio fa, o, per andare a pescare manga un filo più recenti, alla produzione delle CLAMP; l’intero fumetto combina questa cifra stilistica con una certa originalità nel design dell’armatura del protagonista e nelle armi utilizzate, nonché nella fauna incontrata nel corso del viaggio – con design che non sfigurerebbero troppo di fronte al bestiario di uno Shin Megami Tensei qualsiasi.

Tuttavia, qualsiasi carica sensuale ed erotica promessa dalla copertina piuttosto suggestiva nonché dal content warning viene del tutto abbandonata con il passare delle pagine, privando quindi il fumetto del nocciolo essenziale alla base dello stile a cui si ispira senza però rimpiazzarlo con delle ritualità o dei gesti altrettanto forti; la storia fatica a compensare il suo formato estremamente ridotto con immagini dalla potenza tale da coinvolgerci in una vicenda così breve, mancando oltretutto di arguzie particolari nello storytelling e anzi spesso e volentieri ricorrendo a dialoghi piatti e occasionalmente in un inglese un po’ stentato. Insomma, se vi interessa per studiare uno stile così particolare non è una brutta idea acquistarlo, ma il mio consiglio è che a fronte di un budget limitato conviene tuffarsi su altro.

Ocean (Lucie Bryon)

I character design con gli orecchioni sono una mia debolezza.

Toots & Boots sono due agenti segreti della continuità spazio-temporale (smaccatamente inseribili in quel filone di film che ha come capostipite Men in Black) a cui è stata affidata l’ennesima missione di routine: tornare negli anni duemila, trovare il bersaglio colpevole degli smottamenti sulla linea temporale e riportarlo alla base; l’unica peculiarità della missione sembra essere nella natura del suddetto bersaglio – un adorabile gattino – almeno fino a quando il trasmettitore dal design appropriatamente didascalico smette di funzionare, bloccandoli nel ventunesimo secolo senza un soldo e senza la maggior parte delle competenze che permetterebbero loro di trovarsi un lavoro, una casa in affitto o anche solo un pasto caldo… Inizia così la lunga vacanza di Toots & Boots, che vedremo ritagliarsi il loro spazio nella ridente cittadina marittima di Châtelaillon grazie ad un inaspettato colpo di fortuna che permette loro di diventare parrucchieri improvvisati nonostante la loro inesistente competenza in materia di tagli di capelli (come evincerete facilmente dalle loro assurde pettinature).

Per quanto la vicenda sia facilmente prevedibile nei suoi sviluppi, i siparietti che vedono i nostri protagonisti alle prese con la vita quotidiana della cittadina sono divertenti e strappano più di un sorriso; ciascun personaggio ha una fisionomia riconoscibile ed espressiva che permette di affezionarsi facilmente al ristretto cast e di seguirne le vicende con trasporto. Oltretutto, il tratto semplice e netto delle prime vignette, assieme alla palette essenziale nera, bianca e blu, fa spazio man mano che passano i giorni – scanditi dal diario di Toots – a delle linee più morbide e soffici, e a colori pastello che accompagnano il rilassarsi dei due protagonisti, che piano piano iniziano a dimenticare la loro missione originaria per scoprire che una vita tranquilla fatta di appuntamenti, gelati e giri in motocicletta potrebbe essere migliore di quella che hanno vissuto fino a quel momento. È anche questo accorgimento che ci avvicina emotivamente ai due agenti e ci tiene almeno un po’ con il fiato sospeso fino alla fine, curiosi di sapere se entrambi decideranno di tornare alla loro vita precedente o se invece almeno uno dei due farà una scelta differente… Sempre che la loro organizzazione lo permetta.

Insomma, un fumetto assai simpatico che utilizza bene lo spazio a disposizione per raccontare una storia prevedibile ma ben narrata nei suoi elementi essenziali, nonché disegnata in maniera adorabile. Approvato!

When Death Comes, I Will Follow (Val Wise)

Full disclosure: ucciderei un numero significativo di persone per imparare a disegnare come Wise.

In ordine di gradimento crescente, ecco il mio fumetto preferito tra i tre che ho avuto l’opportunità di leggere. Lady Elaine, nobildonna e cavaliere, siede alla tavola della sorella Charlotte, unica suora che rimane ad abitare un monastero ormai deserto; sono entrambe sopravvissute alla morte per mano di quelle che Charlotte chiama le Donne Piangenti (Lamenting Ladies) – misteriose entità attratte dalla morte che uccidono chiunque si trovi vicino ad una persona che esala l’ultimo respiro – per tenacia o per puro caso, ma si trovano in quel momento ad un bivio: rimanere assieme rischiando che la morte accidentale dell’una condanni anche l’altra, o Lady Elaine dovrebbe ripartire immediatamente, continuando ad errare in totale solitudine? Come se non bastasse, Charlotte non ha detto tutta la verità circa la strage avvenuta nel monastero…

La prima cosa che salta all’occhio di When Death Comes è indubbiamente la struttura delle tavole: lo sfondo delle vignette, inchiostrate in bianco e nero, è infatti decorato in maniera coerente rispetto ai dialoghi o agli avvenimenti, talvolta rappresentando un nesso logico fondamentale – ad esempio, quando Charlotte offre della carne ad Elaine che ricorda il cavallo morto, accasciato sullo sfondo, di cui si è probabilmente cibata; assieme alla gestualità e alla forte componente non-verbale presente in tutte le tavole, che anziché venire soffocate da enormi balloon pieni di spiegazioni sono caratterizzate da dialoghi brevi, secchi ma perfettamente comprensibili, questi espedienti aiutano ad immergere il lettore nella cupa atmosfera di queste sessantaquattro pagine. La scelta assai felice di non mostrare mai le cosiddette Donne Piangenti fino alla fine, e anzi di alludervi solo in termini vaghi e criptici, risulta particolarmente azzeccata per aumentare il senso di tensione che trasuda da ogni interazione tra i personaggi, tragicamente consci della fragilità del loro corpo (e soprattutto di quello altrui) che potrebbe in qualsiasi momento portare a conseguenze disastrose.

Altro punto di forza che mi preme sottolineare sono i dialoghi: se la prosa di Iron era a tratti un po’ rigida e sgradevole, ciascuna delle interazioni tra Elaine, Charlotte e un terzo personaggio di cui non dirò nulla di più sono curate, realistiche e decisamente abili nel restituire le dinamiche che si possono creare tra persone che vivono una situazione di costante attesa per qualcosa che potrebbe come non potrebbe avvenire. Tensione che esplode nel finale, in maniera del tutto coerente con gli avvenimenti precedenti e lasciando un senso di smarrimento non solo nei personaggi sopravvissuti, ma anche nello stesso lettore. Insomma, fatico a trovare qualche pecca in questa storia che raggiunge esattamente l’obbiettivo che si prefigge in così poche pagine; spero solo che un’ambientazione così promettente possa essere riutilizzata dall’autore anche per un fumetto più lungo, visto che spulciando il resto della sua produzione mi pare di capire che questi temi siano particolarmente nelle sue corde.

… And more!

Le mie risorse mi hanno permesso di acquistare solo tre dei fumetti esposti, ma spulciando il catalogo è molto facile trovare altre opere accattivanti: c’è Pearl Hunter, della bravissima Hana Chatani di cui ho avuto l’occasione di leggere Love Condemns Me (se lo trovate in giro, lettura super consigliata a chiunque interessi La sirenetta in tutte le sue varianti), c’è Pinball Wizard, che accompagna una descrizione da shōnen manga con uno stile di disegno incasinato ma buffissimo, e c’è History Grows Like a Tumor, dalla palette essenziale e dalla premessa assai intrigante… E molti altri titoli che vuoi per il prezzo irrisorio, vuoi per lo stile peculiare o per l’idea alla base sembrano meritare una lettura. Di certo dal cestone della ShortBox Comic Fair è possibile pescare anche roba noiosa o deludente (come nel caso di Iron), ma se volete fare una prova e destinare una parte del vostro budget mensile all’acquisto di qualche fumetto di artisti contemporanei non posso che consigliare questa fiera.

[connyscomics]

Cheer Up by Crystal Frasier and Val Wise

Trans rep: 8/10

General enjoyment: 8/10

Age rating: all ages

Id seen this one come up a few times, so I finally sat down and read it. It wasn’t bad by any means, but it also wasn’t the greatest either. I felt like the author tried to fit a bunch of story into a very short timeline and with underdeveloped motivations. The story follows a cis lesbian named Annie who is pushed to join the cheerleading time by her mom. There she reconnects with her old friend, a trans girl named Bebe. They quickly begin to develop a romance while fending off pressures from crazy parents and transphobic bullies. The culmination is a weirdly “happily ever after” type ending that felt really weird and underdeveloped, like all of the “bad people” just kinda had a change of heart or something. I dont wanna hate on this too much, it really was a fun read and I’d definitely recommend checking it out if you want something not too emotionally taxing.

[katesharmasheart]

books i read in 2022♡ Cheer Up: Love and Pompoms by Crystal Frasier & Val Wise

“Oh? You're held to a different standard because of others' preconceptions?”

[beeblackburn]

Top 5 media with trans rep/themes?

Thank you, @xserpx!

Truth be told, this question is actually trickier than you think, because I haven’t read/watched that much medias with explicitly trans rep/themes, I own a lot, but haven’t read them quite yet, and the better stuff I’ve read is sequestered in my writing server via snippets and tidbits from others... or indie/self-published publications and patreons... and, uh, not to oversell my stuff, but my own writing KOFF KOFF.

To be clear, I do have enough to give a list, but given what I’ve heard of Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin (can you believe I bought that damn book six times?) and Tell Me I’m Worthless by Alison Rumfitt, this list is liable to change after checking out at least the former.

But without further ado...

Cheer Up! Love and Pompoms by Crystal Frasier and Val Wise - Look, I promise I love pain and violence and self-loathing and feeling like your skin’s a stranger to you, but this was done by a trans writer and artist team and it damn shows. As a whole, it really sings in how the trans experience feels like acceptance in your support network is conditional on how well you act. How well you don’t rock the boat, how well you perform to your preferred gender, and how unstable and insecure you can still be, despite all that and more. It doesn’t wallow in those thorns too long, but in terms of trans rep and theme? It’s my favorite, and it doesn’t hurt that I love the art. 

Tangerine, directed by Sean Baker - If the above was the more optimistic take of trans childhood, this is the poignant, if still playful, reality behind a decent chunk of adult trans womanhood, done with a cheap budget, but with verisimilitude intended. It doesn’t pull punches on how shitty trans sex workers are treated, how they’re objectified and abused, but it still allows them agency and personhood in how they go about the tangle of their professions and personal lives. And, more importantly, it doesn’t pull punches of how fellow trans people can hurt each other through their flaws and bad choices... but doesn’t surrender that they can still offer solidarity when the going gets really tough from systemic transphobia.

A Grisly Communion by N.J. Barna - If the first above was trans experience as childhood joy and love, the second was grounded street-walking reality, this is transcendental body horror. It’s a story that understands following our commonplace religious institutions can give you some degree of safety... but it can’t give you peace of mind, nor body. That the (fat) trans experience is conditional on being useful, on not taking up so much space for threadbare tolerance, and it’ll never be enough, given that fatness intersects upon the transness of it all. So, when unusual idols of worship are offered... we take them, because they, at least, would pay respect to our bodies and grant us the power to be on the other side of being meat from judging eyes.

Boys Run the Riot by Keito Gaku - I really wish this wasn’t cancelled before its time. This manga deserves at least a year’s worth of chapters, being an unconventional look into high school adolescence through a trans man’s pen, and a trans boy’s eyes as he navigates through being closeted in Japanese school culture and masculinity, his love life, and especially his daily choices of fashion, and how he eventually tries to gain more friends and allies through opening himself up... with plenty of teeth in how trans privacy must be respected for their safety, and how influencer culture intersects with gender performance and the need for online cache, with no easy answers there.

Realm of the Elderlings - What Hobb lacks a bit in the full understanding of transgression in the trans experience or culture as a whole, she makes up for in allowing a messiness in individual characterization and having one of the best gender nonconforming characters in all of fantasy. I’m not as crazy about the Fool as some fans, but he’s eminently quotable, layered, complex and messy as hell, and when he talks about love and yearning, such concept of malleable bodies, and how he transgresses cultures with utter confidence in his presentation, it’s enough to make one’s heart swell and ache at how there are not more characters like him in fantasy, for when he speaks of such experiences, it feels like he touches a part of you that transcends the physical.

[cateyedfox36]

catching up on book reviews

ok so these are all going to be FIVE STAR reviews!!

Because they're all amazing. And so very different!

starting with the Middle Reader, we've got The Witch Boy by Molly Knox ostertag. It's sweet and kind, and the art and story is perfection. This book is about the dangers and damages that strictly enforced gender roles can have on not only children but adults as well.

Next is Cheer Up: Love and Pompoms by Val wise and Crystal Fraiser. It sits on the middle of middle reader and young adult, dealing with a few more adult issues like dating and harassment, but handled in a softer, cozier way.

THE Witch King by H.E. Edgmon is decidedly a Young Adult in the best way. Wyatt is a 17 year old kid, who's trans-ness isn't the most complicated thing about his life. Nope. He's actually a Witch, from a secret society of Faeries in Upstate New York, engaged to their prince and oh yeah, a fugitive from the corrupt faery police. Bc of course he is. It's not subtle but a lot of fun.

Nimora by ND Stevenson- their publisher needs to get off their asses to fix their names!- looks like young adult, but it is an intense ride. Nimora is savage and chaotic I love her.

GenderQueer is a memoir by Maia Kobabe, pronouns e, eir, em. It's a beautiful, brutal, uplifting, heartbreaking read. Weirdly I kinda get why it gets banned so much. I'm a fucking adult and Gaia Goddess it was hard to read at points, and if you're so very scared of your kid being any kind of different (queer, nd, mentally ill, disabled ect) this will scare the fuck outta you. But any one, even a kid, who seeks this book out deserves, needs to read it.

And please please donate to any trans organization you can! But for me I'm asking you to donate to the TRANSFORMATION PROJECT OF SOUTH DAKOTA. Any amount helps.

[cincodenada]

Gods yep, I saw a couple frames, maybe even this very image, go by on Twitter. When I picked it up from the library, I read half of it on the walk home and then sat on the couch and finished it. I cried less back then, but I cried about this book even so.

And like, it didn't come out of nowhere. My transition was a long, slow tiptoe. By the time I read Cheer Up! I'd been growing my hair out for three years, my Mastodon gender had made it to "??? but trending femmeward (they/them)", and my first appointment with a new therapist to talk about gender was three days away. But I also still couldn't quite shake the idea that there was some essential transness that I just didn't have in me. That surely I didn't want to get that deep into this whole gender thing.

So I was NOT prepared for how intensely I wanted to be Bebe. To be Bebe. I'd been slowly, painstakingly unwrapping layers of external expectations and self-doubt, and this book came along with its messy, recovering people-pleaser trans girl and gave me what may have been my first glimpse of the messy, recovering people-pleaser trans girl I could be. The first time I remember really sitting down and daring to shift from "sure I'm gendery but I'm not, like, trans trans" to actually allowing in "but what if...what if I could be? Like, for real?"

And phew. This book certainly wasn't the only factor, but a month later, after re-reading Cheer Up!, I read On a Sunbeam and the name Ell stuck in my brain. A month after that I casually asked my doctor about HRT ("theoretically speaking"). Over the next few months I started HRT, used my new name in ever-widening circles, and slowly started believing my therapist when he told me repeatedly that I was, indeed, trans enough.

And here we are, two years later, and I am so damn grateful to Crystal and Val, and everyone who shared their stories, so many different experiences told in so many ways, making space for me to carve out my own.

So here are a couple of the many photos I took of Cheer Up! on my second readthrough. I love these characters so damn much.

you! guy who likes fictional lesbians to the point of feeling a strange sense of pain! you can be a lesbian. but there are some steps you have to complete first

[weirdlookindog]

The Body Snatcher (1945)

[amatesura]

The Curse of the Cat People (1944)

dir. Gunther von Fritsch & Robert Wise

[pransesdp]

[val-of-the-north]

The Wizard of LoS (Land of Shadow)

It seems like the mausoleum gang is going trick-or-treating too

[satanfemme]

smush this bug? yes / no

KISS this bug??? yes / immediately

[imma-vincent-van-gogh-kms]

TW: sexual activity and other forms of physical and emotional abuse. If any of those topics trigger you or a loved one in any way, you have every right to ignore this and I’m genuinely sorry that happened to you

And note: I made my voice shaky on demand

[razzledazzletrassh]

no major fic updates just yet guys TAKE MY WOY OC I MADE LIKE. April of last year IM PLUGGING SOME INFO ABOUT THIS GUY IN THE TAGS.

I may also redesign her soon or something. Make her more bug-like with some stuff. I can cook guys let me cook !!!

[onegroovyrose]

Loookkk, i love ygo zexal and i am so happy you still draw for it. V is my favourite character and seeing your art and him on my wall makes me so happy. I just wanted to let ya know 💚💚

Ok byyee

WAUGHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M GONNA CRY???? THANK YOU SO MUCHHHHHHHH 🥺❤️❤️ I always have so much fun drawing V Christopher Quinton Arclight and I don't think he's going to be leaving my brain anytime soo- CHRIS BLAST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!