#Ugh. Ough. Augh.
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Hey did you guys know Reeve is the one who had to tell Elmyra and Marlene that Aerith died in the original game. I think about this constantly
#I’ve never truly Reeveposted here but if I did it would just be posts like this#cait tells you this if you speak to him in the Highwind. he says Elmyra and Marlene both cried their eyes out#the idea of Reeve who has been spying on the gang but has come to really care about them despite his hesitance and misgivings#watching aerith die#and knowing that with Tseng out of commission and the Turks handling stuff for Rufus. no one is going to think about telling Elmyra.#and he already has her and Marlene under surveillance. and it’s the worst fucking thing in the world but someone has to tell her#ugh. Ough. AUGH.#reeve a guy caught between his ideals and the rock they’ve been ground underneath having to go tell this woman that her daughter is dead.#and he’s so fucking sorry about it.#and there’s nothing anyone can do to fix it#and if Elmyra throws something at him or yells at him it’s no less than he deserves but honestly.#considering aerith could tell when elmyra’s husband died#I think she probably already said goodbye to her mom. and reeve’s news is just confirmation#and that’s somehow even worse#ugh.#text#reeve tuesti#ff7#I’m tagging these for my purposes so uh sorry if this is in the main tags
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Hm. Vent in tags.
#Suicide tw#.#..........................................................................................................................#...........................................................................................................................................#Anyways. I don't. Think it's normal to think abt dying as much as I do.#I don't think it's normal to get in a car and think abt getting in a car crash. And if I would be okay dying (and decide I would.)#I don't know how to tell my friends irl that I'm kinda a little suicidal. I dunno if I should.#I can't tell my parents. Or the school councilor.#I'm just. Really really scared all the time. And I want to stop being scared so freaking bad.#Ugh. Ough. Augh.#Vent#might delete later
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So I've already seen this one pointed out, but in the new CG, Boothill's older human form doesn't really match what people thought it should. Of course it could just be neglect on Hoyo's part like I've seen speculated, but personally? With the other lore we got from this patch, combined with some of the stuff we already had, I'd love to think there is a possibility that is way, WAY more fun.
(fun for me and all the other whump enjoyers, anyway, RIP Boothill fjkasjkdj)
In Boothill's lc, we see him in the middle of his surgery where he threw away his flesh and bone body for steel and cybernetics. We know it was The Big Surgery and not just like some sort of tune up or modification because of the description attached to the lc:
Which is where a lot of the dissonance comes in, because in this lc, Boothill's hair is much, much longer than in the cg.
And as someone who also has super long hair, I can tell you that it would take like. Multiple years to grow it out to this length.
There's also the fact that these cybernetic arms don't even match, the lc is the one that looks like our Boothill does now. And there's no reason for Boothill's shirt to be ripped up and in tatters like that; it even states he takes off his clothes before the lc surgery. If it were a matter of Hoyo needing to censor nudity, there were plenty of other methods they could have used that would make more sense, like a hospital gown, a blanket, surgical partition, etc
When will I get to see Boothill with all his scars, Hoyo, when, quit cockblocking me!!! OTL
But there was also another piece of new lore this patch that hit me like a fuckin' brick- the fact that Boothill was tortured by the IPC.
He just drops this out of nowhere! Just says it and then moves right along!! BABY, PLEASE. I WANNA KNOW MORE SO GODDAMN BAD.
But anyway as Hydrachea pointed out to me, this means the torture definitely had to happen before the lc surgery, because being whipped with a belt soaked in saltwater (fucking OUCH) wouldn't work on someone with metal skin.
So, we know that the IPC did, at some point, capture Boothill. And this is reaching further back to previous patches, but we also know from the Luminary Wardance event in 2.5 that the IPC also dabbles in cybernetic arms, because of the one they foisted on Luka.
The model there is a new one they're debuting, but we see in a flashback sequence that the IPC has been part of the cybernetics game for at least 700-800 years, because they also manipulated Igor into getting one too, and this could have only happened before the Eternal Freeze on Jarilo-VI.
It's never stated just how old Boothill is, or how long ago the genocide on Aeragan-Epharshel took place.
But I doubt it was more than 700-800 years ago.
I really don't think Boothill is that old, or has been doing this for that long. So he definitely would have been captured at a point that the IPC was manufacturing cybernetic arms, and had a known history of amputating perfectly healthy patients to use them.
I wonder if all their test subjects were willing.
(This part is entirely unnecessary for the new cg showing Boothill being a forced lab rat as part of the IPC torturing him. But it is a fun, delightful, bloodily gruesome twist of the knife nonetheless.
Boothill was also betrayed by his own brothers-in-arms on Aeragan-Epharshel. For the IPC. Just saying.)
#honkai star rail#honkai star rail boothill#hsr boothill#hsr#boothill#hsr 2.6#honkai star rail 2.6#no idea if this is anything but god do I love to think about it#Boothill just casually dropping that he was TORTURED just about fucking killed me AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#screaming crying throwing up blowing up etc etc#KERBLEWIE#Ugh I love it so much#Hoyo did that for ME#And the thought that it might have been his own tribe that sold him out? ough. ough.#and so like. when he escaped the IPC somehow. do you think the cybernetic arm was still attached?#did he have to lug this thing around#did he hate looking at it#imagining him telling the doctor he doesn't even care just take it detach it get it off of him he never wants to see it again#AUGH
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Headache spell attack -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp
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So one of the things that made me cry (and laugh) the most, when reading the whole series was in Debriefing when Ice has surgery and Mav kisses him on the forehead, then Ice types out “I am cured” with like no punctuation. (Because of course Ice is the punctuation man 99% of the time.)
One, Ice is actually so fucking funny with the “I am cured.” Like no one would believe how funny he actually is. (And I headcanon that Mav knows this, of course, but almost no one else believes him. Which drives him up the wall.) Two, that exchange was so simple but so loving??? Foaming at the mouth here. Especially after those crazy 30 years. So my question is, what are Ice and Mav’s kisses of choice? Forehead, cheek, regular ol’ lips, the world is their secretly sappy oyster.
I haven’t read that chapter of debriefing since fucking last October! Whoa! not sure how i feel about it .
regular ol’ on the lips :) it means something more than all the rest, it’s romantic in a way none of the others are (which is why it’s so dangerous)
okay yes re: ice being funny yes. wait wait wait let me find it in my doc hold on
here!
#Let this post make up for no wip Wednesday#augh ough#don’t like thinking about it#ice’s/val’s cancer is my ‘i don’t want to talk about it’#PLEASE don’t talk to me about how ice Will probably die before mav i simply do not want to discuss it i simply won’t think about it just#like ugh don’t ugh ough it is so painful sometimes i just. Like. i fucking hate old people ngl like this is so awful#regarding this post specifically:#this is Christmas 2014#i feel like: why Ice fell in love with maverick is pretty easy and obvious#why maverick fell in love with ice is pure selfishness#no one else ever gets to see the real ice#as my cyclone said about mav—‘You’re the only one of us who knows anything of him at all’#and he feels lucky beyond belief for that but he is also not interested at all in sharing#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#top gun#icemav#asks#edts notes
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veganism discourse on this site drives me fucking nuts, people are so incredibly willing to uncritically believe anything that justifies consuming animal products. I saw someone in the notes in one of these posts go "ugh I cant believe vegans say that in the dairy industry male calves get slaughtered. That's not true for small family farms!" Like okay?? Does the dairy industry mainly consist of small family farms then??
#theres so many stupid takes on here augh ough#saw someone else go#ugh can you believe vegans are asking us to switch to a plant based diet#when so much of the rain forest is cut down for agriculture? we should be eating less plants!!#like. come on. what do you think animals eat??#also much of the rainforest is being cut down for cattle too??#rant#personal
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Are you still working on a book?
yes!!!! my current word count is 133k
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doing missions. getting cool items. recruiting. stalling because I'm too nervous to replay SE5 hahah
#talking#I'm not afraid of my feelings what are you talking about#thinking about Celebi and Grovyle watching the sunrise ugh ough augh ow
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kind of fucked up that I had my mom death scare when we lost contact during Helene and I started hearing about how bad the damages were (she lives in Marshall NC)
and now Milton is about to hit Tampa, where my dad lives, and I'm not even on speaking terms with him right now so I can't even see if he's evacuated or prepared or what
so I just have to wait on either news that he lived or news that he died and either way I'm dealing with So Much Guilt About It :^)
#like part of me wants to text him like I'm still mad but I want to know what yall are doing for the storm#his place is less than three blocks from the beach#bc he's not even in Tampa hes in a Tampa suburb#that's even closer than Tampa in general#anyway I'm just. ugh. AUGH. ough#parent death mentioned /
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when you write the three page semi-complete oc outline but go to the design phase and hit a wall so hard all your bones crunch
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here’s tbe thing it’s like i don’t want to do this i am thinking like a child i am speaking to no one spinning words out like dirt in the morning im a corpse draft my emails to the corporation ‘you’re saving my life every day god bless you’. and there’s no way out for cowards suicide is embarrassing the whole town at your door “come back david we need you”. i just needed more money more time more love all my desires are so poorly drawn out. okay.
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> in a bad mood > irritatedly ate muffin in dark without looking > tasted weird > turned on lights > ~mold~
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you see the thing with vampires is that so much modern media its about this poor eternally tortured, fuckable soul is sad in some way and how inmortality plays against them, but once you get over the fuckability of the vampire they tend to be pretty meek, pretty pathetic. you're no more than a parasite with some notoriously easy to exploit weaknesses. if they aren't a metaphor then there just isn't enough material for a vampire. meanwhile the werewolf is the werewolf
#trying to think of a lame werewolf and the lamest system was the hp one bc it was like ugh ough i turn into an animal against my will#when i should be turning into an animal by my own will ough augh also im ugly
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just thought about bruce and jason. might lose my mind
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augh ough urgh i think i should go to the fucking doctor the gut pain from b4 keeps coming back D:
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i need to hang out so bad.
#i will b doing book club with week ...#5 extra hours this week that i didn't ask for . pay me more#ugh ough augh#2 much phonecall mines i am made to resd articles and talk about them
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